#or more- interpret this however idc much

[critter-covenant]

hops n' kicks :3

[moonlit-dreamers]

honestly im really enjoying the plot in mgafs but especially bc of eclipse and how he is as a character

hes become something more neutral. he isnt a villain nor a "good guy". hes just. a guy. he doesnt even want to be here but he doesnt have much of a choice. he tolerates ppls existence as much as he can without exploding. he does care about ppl but he hides it under a guise of "im doing this for myself and anyone who benefits from this is just a side effect" and honestly i love that so fucking much. like. he very much gives a shit about earth and at one point emphasized that she would not get hurt. tho when questioned about it he dodges the question. in fact, every time someone brings up earth and how defensive he is he avoids it. i feel like not even he himself wants to confront how he feels

then theres also puppet. their relationship is like the extrovert adopting the introvert type thing (its also like that with earth but puppet is more forceful and the more "ur never getting rid of me" type). he, again, doesnt admit that he cares. and honestly he probably didnt give a flying fuck about her in the beginning. the main reason he even went on the whole quest to help with the other puppet was bc he would also be effected, even if he was in another dimension (also bc he didnt want it to hurt earth but shhhh). but now he does seem to show some form of concern towards puppet at certain times. its also incredibly entertaining to watch puppet keep pushing at his limits. makes me think of that one video where a crow kept fucking with an eagle. just kept nipping and getting in its face then running away. thats what it feels like lmao

also like. almost every time he defended someone theres always been some kinda excuse he could make that gives him an out with saying that it was also for his benefit. probably the only time he defended someone and wouldnt get personal benefit out of it was when he confronted ruin and told him to keep earth out of it. tho, luckily for him, nobody was there to witness it and question it (unless moon was there bc i dont remember it exactly >.>).

which, yes, probably a lot of things that he does is for his own benefit. but he'd be completely fine with abandoning the ppl he was helping. in multiple situations he didnt have to help them. he wouldve been just fine and able to get out of the situation without them making out with him. and yet he did. and yet he purposely made room for them to follow.

idk man. just watching him develop as a character and going from someone who didnt give a flying fuck about anybody into actually giving a bit of a shit is fascinating. also even more entertaining to see just how desperately he tries to hide it

[muirneach]

i would like to express three blanket statements for everyone in the notes:

- yes i obviously know that calling people ‘family’ is a way of referring the other queer people. this is evident in the fact that i used that fucking word in the post jesus christ guys you don’t need to try and inform me of this

- related, but this was a rhetorical post. i do not need advice on how to talk to people. i am involved with real life trans groups and am well versed in how to subtly talk to people. i literally made this post while on break from my bad customer service job after seeing multiple trans customers

- maybe this is a me problem but people having dysphoria from being seen as trans is sad to me. like i sorta get it but also hm maybe work on ur self hatred idk. being trans is a joy

reading comprehension questions:

consider the targeted demographic of this post. then consider, do you dislike this demographic? if so, please try changing your opinion or at least scroll away and stop bothering me about it

did the author make reference to old forms of queer communication? if so, it seems like he is familiar with the concept and perhaps refrain from informing the author about it

why might have the author, at first glance, described dysphoria as self hatred? did he really do this, or does he rather acknowledge that one facet of dysphoria stems from depression and deprecation? consider why someone might not want to be seen as trans. is it for safety reasons, or because they have yet to unlearn the perceived shame of being trans, or any other multitude of reasons? any reason is perfectly valid but one may wish to examine their opinions on the cis view of the trans body

seeing trans ppl in public is literally life giving. wish there was a normal way to express to other trans people in public that we’re family and that i love them

[afterthelambs]

.

[starryeyedstray]

my thoughts on dbh as someone entering the fandom in 2024

so just got into the dbh fandom like in aug 2024. i have watched too much gameplay, read the wiki extensively, read an obscene amount of fanfics on ao3, and am in the process of writing my own. here are some of my thoughts (that no one has asked for):

every fanfic writer who started in 2018 and is still updating their works in 2024 are literal saints and some of the best damn writers i ever did saw and the dedication is fucking unreal. one fic had almost 2 million words??????? like BRUH. some are still ongoing and updated this year?? the dbh fandom in ao3 is not thriving as much as it was in 2018 (i say this purely as someone who's looking at the hits/kudos/comment ratios on older v. new works) but they are still alive!!!!

i am puzzled with the obsession with gavin reed. there are like a million fics that feature him and rk900. i am confused bc he did not seem like a redeeming character at all in my opinion and idk, i think he's just an asshole. i like the redemption arcs some ppl write for him but i just can't with him. i mean you ship who you wanna ship but i am not a reed fan and i am confused how he became so popular when all he did was bully our poor boi connor.

i personally don't ship hank x connor bc they give strong father-son vibes in the canon. however, i am obsessed with how jolli_bean writes the pairing on ao3 since its usually a canon divergence or an AU so the pair meet later in life. there are some fics that follow the canon and do a pretty good job with the pairing, but i just tend to keep it familial between them in my head. (but like i said, ship who you want to ship)

i am glad there's a vague consensus that we all wished alice stayed a human bc i feel like that lends itself to a more interesting narrative post-game. tho i guess her being an android is fine bc now kara, luthor, and alice can live as one happy family in canada forvever lol

i am literally obsessed with bryan dechart's acting as connor. like if you haven't seen him play connor in real life for the interactive #detroit2038 premiere event, then you gotta watch some of the live stream. like he doesn't break character the whole time and his physicality just screams connor and i just really appreciate how much effort he put in as an actor to really embody the character. just so impressive and i wish there was more bts of him acting as connor bc its just so nuanced and ugh *chef's kiss* if they ever made a live action dbh it would be impossible for anyone else to play connor

i love the 28 stab wounds meme. when i watched that scene for the first time it was so jarring lmao

i also love how everyone is like yes, we all know connor likes dogs but he also likes fish bc of that one fish you can save in the very first minute of gameplay hahahah. (his name is dewey and it is vitally important you save him). i also appreciate how the "i like dogs" line will undoubtedly find it's way into every fic possible lol

i think the love for simon is very good and well and amazing but i think josh deserves more love in fics too

it bothers me that when north tells markus "i love you" at the church, MARKUS DOESN'T SAY IT BACK??? LIKE BITCH SAY YOU LOVE HER BACK DAMMIT DON'T JUST WALK AWAY

i love how the fandom just latched onto rk900 and rk800-60 and fleshed out their personalities and i love reading ppl's interpretation of these characters and how they incorporate them into their stories. it's funny they only show up like one time and ppl just ran with it and it's so fun and creative and i love it.

i love the hc that chloe deviated when connor chose not to shoot her. that's the best hc. like it's canon in my heart idc

bless all the fic writers who have mastered the art of explaining how androids mind and bodies work bc there are so many gaps and possibilities left open in the lore and it's incredible to see what ppl come up with or interpret based off the canon. (i still feel 50/50 about when they make deviants feel pain cause like androids not feeling pain is such a big part of the canon and yeah i'll give it a pass if the fic does it for the whumps and the angst but i prefer when a fic finds a canon-compliant reason for deviants to feel pain, even if its just like they got a chip or software installed that makes them feel pain or something)

every pairing that i find in this fandom, i tend to be like... "yeah i can see that." (with the exception of hank x connor for reasons i stated in #3). i'm still like ehhh on reed900 or even gavin x connor bc i just don't think it makes sense in the canon but if it's written well i just shrug and say yeah i guess i could see that. some rarepairs i ended up absolutely adoring were chloe x north and rk900 x north (i realize they're both north but she has such good potential for character dynamics)

idk if it's just me bc i specifically look for fics centered around connor, but i feel like there's not a lot of love for kara at least fic-wise. ig it's cause she kinda just leaves so it's easy to not include her. tbh, i am quite well-versed in markus' and connor's stories but i haven't really explored a lot of kara's. i plan on playing dbh with my partner when i see them again in a couple months and i wanted us to take turn playing different characters and i wanted to play kara's storyline so i've been avoiding it for the most part so i can be surprised with my options. plus, in my wip fic, kara is in canada so she's not really relevant to my story which is why i have in depth knowledge about markus and connor and less on kara.

the music in this game fucking SLAPS. 10/10 kara's theme makes me wanna cry.

okay, there is a common trope in the dbh fanfics where connor loses his memory and that shit gets me everytime. i'm always bawling and anxiously waiting for him to fucking REMEMBER and i hate and love it and eat it up every. single. time. usually, the memory loss happens early in the fic and it's pretty expected but sometimes i get blindsided and i'm like FUCK not this shit again but i can't stop reading it and the angst is so palpable.

i think it's so interesting how ra9 is just like this mystery in the lore that never gets entirely explained in the game. it's like something you can totally kinda ignore but it does have interesting lore implications if you decide to really think about it.

i adore all the characters in dbh equally except for connor who is the certified best boi and my absolute favorite (no one is shocked by this declaration). and the characters on my shit list are zlatko, todd, and sometimes reed.

this is an obnoxiously long post and i apologies. i haven't been on tumblr in years and i just had so many thoughts about dbh and i have no friends to talk to so i decided to dump it all here. i still have more thoughts but those are the ones that come to the forefront of my mind.

tldr: i love dbh and its fandom and i have many specific thoughts about it and you should just really read my post if you care about any of it

[dusty-siltstrider]

Alright I'm properly boozed and decently numbed. I promised to bitch excessively on here if our boy became a name on a missing poster. Here the fuck I am.

For reference I'm focusing on Viktor and Jayce here. More than enough has been said about everyone else. Y'all ate good. Let us starve in peace. Lots of this comes from lengthy discussions on the Viktor Nation disc.

To start - no, Viktor does not appear in the new trailer. I'm sorry, he just doesn't. Not even a voice line which should have been pretty fucking easy. Over at Viktor Nation we spent nearly an hour going over the trailer frame by frame brightening shit to see if he shows. He does not. No, not even a far-off shot of his arm. We got more Viktor in the teaser from two months ago than the official trailer.

However...

100% Glorious Evolved. Fingerprints around their faces match what appears to be Viktor face-grabbing that Shimmer addict from the teaser trailer. Similar rune carvings. This is his cult. Which uhh right off the bat is much different from any other interpretations?

Basically confirms they're going all-in on runic magic for Viktor and largely veering away from classic Machine Herald. Which I have feelings about. That will be reserved for the season itself once we see it play out.

And before any smartasses come in with "lol at least you got a shot of his feet" jokes those definitely aren't his. Just one of the random cultists floating judging by the angling. And Viktor's would be full grape Fanta. The silvery/gold texture is interesting. Some kind of manipulation of metal through magic?

Don't even.

Also been seeing a lot on the shadowy golden-eyed figure and we figured that's near-certainly not him either.

Looks sick, I'll admit. I kinda hope it's him, in fact. Most likely not him. Face shape is slightly too squared off, ears stick out too far, yes I went in deep on skull shape for this and I'm at least 75% sure that ain't him. And Viktor's magical influence/Hexcore spookiness has been defined by purple sinews and more organic forms than this more fantastical shadow tendril thing. This seems to be a new force entirely.

I won't discount it outright since Viktor's eyes are indeed associated with gold/amber but for all I know this could be Mel. Eye socket shape/nose does vaguely match. And Viktor's eyes would likely lean more towards a purple voidy glow in S2 if they're going all-in on the Hex Core.

Possible Jayce cameo? Very obviously meant to be his wristband gem, maybe somehow got fused with his skin. The grip on the object appears heavy so it's not Viktor's cane/staff. Could very well be the Viktor/Jayce confrontation since if you squint there might a robed figure standing in front of that weird fuckin magic doodad.

Speaking of...

Saw a pretty interesting post from @nylloth saying this could be Viktor's "hospital" or maybe some kind of Glorious Evolved temple. It does resemble the fucked up glowing sinewy appearance of the Hex Core so perhaps some kind of hallucination or vision that Viktor is having of his potential. Would love to hear more thoughts on that though. It's very obviously related to "the Arcane" as a broader more mysterious force.

Wanted to be angrier here but I'm honestly just disappointed. Which is ass because pit fighter Vi and Ekko and revolutionary Jinx are all things I'm genuinely looking forward to but I can't rally it. I'm very glad everyone else ate good though. Does indeed look sick and I'm still excited. Pit fighter Vi especially. Holy fuck. But I'm just too bummed out about Viktor, call that dramatic or childish but idc it's how it is.

Be stingy about appearances and character designs but it could not have been difficult to include a single voice line. Don't even bother including it in the show, get a couple trailer-only lines or a "Glorious Evolution" or SOMETHING. Don't give me that "well their fates are still ambiguous" No they aren't lmao they just aren't. By this point everyone knows Jayce and Vik live and 50/50 on Mel.

If Viktor had not appeared in that teaser TWO MONTHS ago for like 2 seconds then it would be reasonable to assume he got erased from the show entirely lol. We have a shot of his arm to go off of until we hopefully get a proper Viktor poster. Cool. Nice arm.

That is all. For now. Please refrain from discussing leaks. I don't need any more temptation.

[gunnrblze]

STOPPPP I FORGOT TO PUT ANON ON LAST TIME FUCK.

Might as well own it

😻

-Keegan; 50/50 love hate relationship with teasing. Nuts immediately if his partner pulls him in by the belt/shirt collar. Probably some less common kinks but gets embarrassed to say them out loud. He's not he big scary man he is during sex, fuck/ride him stupid!!

-Hesh; Sweet man, can't handle teasing very much. Might actually cry if you make a joke about him nutting so quickly, he just can't help it :( loves to be praised and give praise (and a breeding kink even if he won't act on it)

-Kick; bitch is rough, no thoughts or braincells except pounding the fuck outta his partner. Tease him and this tech boy will have you seeing stars... 😻 Will be gentle if he's had a bad day or you have. Gets soooo turned on from crying during sexy time.

-Logan; Will stay completely quiet if you try and tease him over his (very small) limit of teasing. More submissive imo, soft dom Logan is my weakness <3 let's you use him all night no matter what (please reward him he will be so happy)

-Elias; Kink? TF is that? The most he knows how to do is spank, even then he feels it's weird because he would do that to Hesh or Logan sometimes when they were kids ☠️ might have an ED, but that doesn't stop him from breaking the bed

-Merrick; probably scared of sex tbh

-Rorke; most unfair man ever. Extremely rough, and the aftercare is a banana thrown at you for you to eat, if you matter to him. Don't recommend him, but he is quite big down there 😭 (please bite his thighs, LOOK AT HOW BIG THEY ARE—)

Rambles :) 🫶

OWNNN IT LMAO. I 🧡 you for this

My thoughts? Would love to make Hesh cry LMAO. His feels so accurate, he’s definitely a sweetie and I’m obsessed with the fact that so many of us get the fucking breeding kink vibe from him 😭 10/10 will be your daddy, interpret however you’d like

“Rorke; most unfair man ever” is making me cackle cause that’s just him all the time I fear

Would love to ride Keegan stupid too

Elias’ made me giggle (i want that old man idc, gimme!)

[sankatsuka]

Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY Discussion - Reigniting The Passion Lost to Peer Pressure

Everyone wants to have a place to belong, where the hard work we pour into the things we love will be seen and appreciated by people. But what happens when you decide you will never find this place and resign yourself to a life of solitude, only to be proven wrong by a group of people who insist on your wholehearted hard work? And it only later dawns on you that you will someday have to part ways and you will lose the miraculous place you finally found.

This is what I like to think Rui Kamishiro encapsulates - the battle between being yourself and wanting a place to belong. How easy it is to get swayed from what you love when you think you've found this place and start to subconsciously dedicate your passion to this place instead, to the point that if you're not aware enough, you can forget the feelings in your original passion (resulting in the hesitation and doubt in Curtain Call). After all, nobody is the same, and if you focus too much of your passion on them, that passion becomes about them and not yourself. Ultimately, it is how not acknowledging a healthy boundary with people who are different from you can affect your passion (Shiho as a character is very integral to this).

Warnings:

I believe the entire WxS plot is meant to be misdirection.

Personal interpretation of Rui and several characters by inferring from text.

I believe Rui is a flawed person with no bad intentions, so there will be criticism of his character here. I really suggest turning away if it upsets you.

Spoilers for all WxS unit stories up till Backlit Lens Flare (as well as for Saki, Shiho, Akito, Mafuyu and Mizuki's characters up to their most recent stories)

Edit (11/2/2024): Made multiple edits as always, but biggest change is talking more about the foils in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Kitty's message. Edit (12/2/2024): Compulsory mention of Rui's mom and how he was set up for failure from way back then. Edit (12/2/2024): Expansion on the parallels between Rui and Mafuyu - what it is that makes them the CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Jackpot Sad Girl. And a summary on how three commission parallels supports this interpretation of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY about Rui's characters. Edit (13/2/2024): Lets add a bit more about how Resonate with You criticizes Rui's actions in Curtain Call. AND MANJI ALSO BEING A SLANG MEANING EXCITEMENT, STILL APPLIES TO TSUKASA IDC!!

Rui's character in the story starts off as someone who has thrown the part of himself who wants to have fun making things with people after being repeatedly let down by them. The early times with Wonderlands x Showtime helped him remember that desire from childhood to find a place that accepts that desire, that he criticizes Tsukasa for not appreciating WxS - for not realizing the best shows can't be accomplished without friends.

"--The best shows can't be done alone."

Following the fallout, Tsukasa and WxS' continued insistence and appreciation of him makes him start to see them as a place he can finally belong to. The place he's searched for for so long since childhood. That when he saw Tsukasa get hurt, he became swayed from doing the things he wanted to do for the first time and he hadn't even noticed it - because Tsukasa might leave him like his classmates had, so he has to hold back so as to not disappoint him further. This resulted in Tsukasa and Ruis second argument, with Tsukasa being angry at Rui for lying and holding back - which I later argue is the exact same feelings in his FUZAKERUNA in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

"This is surprising. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way." "Being afraid of losing your place, and then being unable to face the actors who seriously respond to you - this is a failing as a director."

However, this entire ordeal ended in Rui acknowledging his weakness, putting the whole deal behind them and moving on with the show, as KAITO advised. (Spoiler: it isn't weird at all to say that this happens again, with how he deals with it so indifferently like this.)

And then in Curtain Call, he becomes painfully aware that everyone may leave someday for their dreams--

"Someday, the day we will have to depart will come... For both me, and everyone."

Doesn't this just seem like a repeat of Halloween in a different way? He's scared they'll all leave him alone. One can say that Curtain Call ignited the exact same fear of being left alone and losing your place that Rui felt in Halloween - and his reaction feels exactly the same too: acknowledge it, put it behind you and move on to doing what is best for the best shows. After all, Rui lives for the best shows, because it is what makes him most happy - albeit Backlit Lens Flare suggests how he doesn't actually fully remember the joy and passion for shows he had as a child (discussed later). The best way to put it is - Rui feels like a walking corpse of his childhood.

Normally, when you realize this possibility of parting in the future, you talk to your friends about this (see: Saki Focus 3, Get Over It). But Rui refrains from talking to the people he should be talking to (WxS) and proceeds to go for the most obvious decision for his dream by joining Arklands. Only after Asahi turns him away does he go for the next obvious option he sees - the reckless decision that he would do everything in his power to achieve everyone's dreams together. And he can so confidently chase it because he's smart, only to be put down in Backlit Lens Flare lol.

Rui has really just been powering his way through the things he finds unpleasant, as KAITO had told him to in Halloween, ignoring the bad parts and doing everything for the sake for the best shows. You can really, really argue that KAITO's advice in Halloween seems very, very morally ambiguous now lol. He doesn't think ahead of what is the best choice and what would make him happiest - it's as if he's avoiding the very line of thought of how he would do post-WxS. Compared to Shiho in Focus 1, 'Resonate With You', who shows how she has thought it through and is happy enough just spending time with Leo/need for leisure - Rui doesn't even reach this line of thought of what happens next.

I think that he avoids thinking properly about these stuff because he wouldn't have a proper answer to it. Can he really trust Asahi when many other people have disappointed him after showing some interest before this? On the other hand, he's argued with Tsukasa twice and everyone is still enthusiastic - WxS is the only place he's ever felt secure.

"There were a few people who saw my ideas and said, 'it would be interesting if we could do it'." "But even those people gradually became reluctant with the more new ideas I brought to them."

It may generally be underestimated in the story just how much Rui doesn't inherently trust people and actors.

Even CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY begins with 'Nobody's listening anyway. Music's all just fashion, players leaving the field after devouring dead sounds one night.' which can be interpreted as people who became reluctant after they spent too long around Rui as he says to KAITO above, innit.

And then, Backlit Lens Flare happens and Rui encounters ??? (Sakaki). Sakaki immediately identifies the problem with Bakuno's acting, pinpointing it to the directors instead of the actor. Rui was not able to.

Remember, the freelance option isn't permanent - there's the possibility someone may be recruited away (It's a story for another day that he is only really worried about Tsukasa instead of the whole WxS but doesn't realize this). Rui paying attention to their growths first of all before his own is testament to how he's trying to make sure they quickly grow so they can achieve their dreams together:

"...It seems it became good stimulation for both of them right away." "...I also need to more proactively study from this opportunity."

So even now, Rui is more worried about WxS over himself. He prioritizes making sure they are getting something out of the freelancing gig over himself. Only after watching them was he stimulated to do his best too - and here comes the question, where did his drive to be proactive for his own passion go to?

Sakaki's ingenuity finally pops this question to Rui's mind. Had Rui's brain not been filled with the worry of losing his place, he may have been able to think more clearly and just as quickly reach the same conclusion as Sakaki. If he had been filled with thoughts of what was satisfying for himself instead of how he could stay with everyone, he may have been able to create a much better film (see: Shiho Focus 3, Stick to Your Faith). In fact, why is he even so bothered about falling behind Sakaki, when Rui isn't even an adult or a professional director himself?

It's not normal to be bothered about that: Nene was never hard on herself for not being as good as Kazamatsuri, because it's a given she's far away. But she does get upset with herself when she realizes she had looked down on Sakurako and naively seen her as an equal. You only react that way with people you see as equals if you're secure.

Perhaps, the passionate person Rui used to be would have admired Sakaki and want to learn from him out of a pure love for shows instead. And not be so bothered about how he was falling behind professionals.

We see Rui fail twice in the story: not figuring out the problem with the scene, and not thinking ahead of personalizing the script like Ohara had. (There is a third time too: how Tsukasa and WxS seem so moved by Bakuno's performance that Rui played no part in - meaning there are others who could easily replace him - if the emotions in this discussion hold true). And it's no wonder it would have him start questioning and blaming his obsession with WxS for it - if he had not been preoccupied with them, he may have avoided his failures altogether, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been this upset.

It's like a hit to his ego. Is how he's acting and behaving really the same boy who loved shows and would do anything for a show that would satisfy him?

Right now, it's as if Rui is trying hard to protect his position as a talented genius that surpasses everyone so WxS will need him for their dreams and want him around. No one can replace him; only he can achieve their dreams for them.

But Sakaki and Ohara prove him wrong.

The closing lines of Backlit Lens Flare, where he focuses on his own feelings towards directing instead of anything WxS learned, implies this self-realization of how he had been behaving. Rui is finally focused on himself.

"I'm disappointed that I didnt come up with this method, but strangely enough, I feel refreshed." "Directing... really is interesting."

FIRST UP. WHY DID YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH THE METHOD. SECONDLY, WHY ARE YOU REFRESHED. It makes sense to me as someone who's been carried away a lot: when you realize you lost sight of your original intentions and began worrying more about so many unnecessary things, you feel bitter at your mistake but relieved and refreshed you've finally been woken up.

To me, all of these feel like they're pointing to Rui being afraid of losing his place in WxS. So he has to be capable of solving everything, achieving everyone's dreams, so they will need him for it and they can keep staying this way. Before this, it seemed like a normal human emotion he had just never experienced before, but now, it's starting to show it's actually detrimenting his passion.

This is what I believe the theme of trends are playing into in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY - doing anything you can to make sure there will be people to hear and appreciate your music, and the spite in realizing you've lost yourself in that pursuit. Money is the artificial love you receive by catering to people so they would stay and listen to you. It's heartless, but following his character, it seems the crowd he's referring to is WxS. Because they have their strong individualistic dreams and just won't simply stay with him as he wants them to, he has to keep worrying about keeping up with them (Tsukasa mainly):

But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.

Loners=Rui Manji (a sign of good things to come)=Tsukasa (being surrounded by good luck charms; kanji 天 being associated with heaven; inviting Rui to WxS) (edit: manji is also a slang for excitement, which Tsukasa literally is for Rui) Gen Z=Nene (digital age, playing video games) Monkey=Emu (in Rui's picnic card and Emu in Sky's Edge)

(In NY2, Emu ended up drawing tons of big luck omikuji, and Tsukasa is surrounded by monkeys in Island Panic - so you can suggest their roles are reversed. But the robot monkey Tsukasa in picnic suggests Tsukasa isn't a real monkey.)

Curtain Call and Backlit Lens Flare together show how not addressing and expressing fears properly and simply moving on changes nothing. Self-awareness and powering through is useless advice - anyone who's had troubles with lovers, friends and family know you need to talk and accomodate each other. Or not, is it even feeling loved and cared anymore, isn't it just about control then?

In Resonate with You, Shiho makes Leo/need think through their choice to join her into becoming a professional, rather than accepting them right off the bat. She knows from her prior experience working with people that half-hearted musicians would only fail, suffer and drop out. It is only by Leo/need wholeheartedly declaring their intentions of facing music sincerely and seriously that Shiho is convinced that they can all do it together for sure. This is such a contrast to Rui in Curtain Call where he decides on his own that he will find a way for WxS to achieve their dream together, while barely thinking at all. And he winds up focusing so much on making sure WxS stays together. You need to think it through, face the future seriously and talk properly. NOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!

Or else you'll lose sight of your original motivation from focusing too much on things that don't really matter as much to you: you'll just end up half-hearted.

Further proof that Backlit Lens Flare is Rui's realization of his half-heartedness since Curtain Call, is that Tsukasa gets angry at him in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY like he does in Halloween. It isn't even a desperate shout to save someone - it's like a look of pure judgmental disappointment, as if they've been through this already. Stop lying.

He already shouted in anger in Halloween. If that didn't reach Rui, then there was no point in being all angry anymore.

Rui was repeating Halloween, trying so hard to protect the place he belongs to and forgot what he himself truly wants. From there, the lyrics in the entire CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are self-explanatory: what happened to the things you wanted to sing? (I was so happy with the lyrics because it was exactly what I was thinking in Curtain Call but no one seemed to care).

One thing you can never take away from Rui is that he is a very, very passionate guy. He loves what he does that he would spend every waking hour of his day working on it. Even if he's become a shell of his former self, his body is still naturally drawn to shows (Samsa Kanade reference heh). And Rui himself believes himself to be purely passionate too. So when he realizes that passion has been thoroughly dirtied, it makes sense he's as angry as he is in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

In Anni 2, Rui says he didn't know what he wanted to do like Mafuyu, but then he corrects himself to say he THOUGHT he knew.

"Actually, in the past, I didn't know what I wanted to do." "No... I should say that I thought I knew, but I actually didn't know at all."

For a brief moment, Rui thought he was just like Mafuyu with nothing to call his own. Until he quickly remembers that he did indeed have something he wanted to do, but claims to have been mistaken.

Why did you briefly relate to a girl who felt like she had nothing she wanted to do like everyone else, if that isn't a sign of his current state of mind - feeling like he has no dreams like WxS, and having to keep up with them so that he can feel like he belongs (discussed later in the parallels with Cinema). His lost passion became more evident at this point of the story.

If you 'thought you knew', then that means it was once a genuine feeling too. Even if you're alone, doing what you love is still fun - Shiho in her Focus 3, 'That Day, The Sky Was Far Away' demonstrates this. Although she had been let down by the bandmates, she was still fine alone because music made her feel better. And she even inspired Mihane because of her enthusiasm. After all, what you love to do should make you happy to some extent.

In comparison, Rui seems to have forgotten that shows were actually fun in middle school (probably because Stick to Your Faith never happened for him). When he approached Mizuki, he was standoffish and didn't think to introduce Mizuki to the fun of shows even when they expressed some interest in it. Probably because he couldn't even remember it himself. But being able to make that decision suggests he did still have some semblance of emotions that felt like shows were fun. Once again, a walking corpse of his chiildhood.

In the end, it's like he already lost this original joy for shows since middle school, and then grew even more confused about what made him happiest with the new joy he experienced after finding a place in WxS. He hasn't been able to wholeheartedly enjoy his passion because he's been continuously rejected, and he thought he was having fun when WxS accepted him - but in the end, that fun was from finally finding a place.

Update: Tetrad gives more implications of how Rui had gone astray post-Curtain Call. Tsukasa and Rui sing together, "We're facing the same direction", but Rui appears troubled. It's like Rui can't declare that he is chasing his dreams as confidently as the rest of WxS. Deep down, a part of him probably knew this even before Backlit Lens Flare happened but was afraid of facing it.

I would further go on to associate CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY to both Kitty and Cinema which its imagery resembles. The card set takes place in Shibuya where Kitty takes place in, and Cinema uses the same director's cut + Tsukasa's trained card directly mentions Cinema on the billboard.

There's also the naming that is clearly based on Jackpot Sad Girl - which I think just goes to highlight how both Rui and Mafuyu have the power through it mindset that it lands them dead and sad respectively: people need to reconcile their differences with others to truly love and feel alive (Rui) and people can't endure stress for too long without getting depressed (Mafuyu). Both ignored their human needs and thus this is where they wound up.

The parallel with Kitty feels like it's also within the overall messaging - how facing things can lead to losing yourself even more when you aren't mentally prepared and have no clear-cut answer (sounds similar to what Rui carelessly did in Curtain Call, doesn't it?). In Mafuyu's case, she seemed about ready to change herself again to please her mother, and in Mizuki's case, opening up to Niigo would make them more sensitive to what they say and probably even change themselves so as to not be left alone. Mizuki has even expressed this sentiment once by dressing as a boy in middle school, when they already knew they loved cute things since childhood and was even reaffirmed by their sister.

In Our Survival and Escape, the point is made that it's BECAUSE Mizuki never opened up to Niigo that they were able to protect their heart. Compare this to Rui, who bore everything about himself to WxS by not holding back with his performances and past and thus gained their unconditional acceptance. As a result, he becomes swayed by them when he realizes that things would come to an end and becomes preoccupied with stopping it even at the cost of himself - his passion. If Mizuki had similarly put their utmost trust in Niigo like this, it wouldn't be surprising either if they quickly get swayed to stop expressing themselves too if one of them ever expressed dismay (hinting that they would leave).

Thus, in order to find the answer to real love, you have to protect your heart first, even if it means running away and distancing yourself from others (Kitty). But unlike Mizuki, Rui was taught from childhood to simply not care about what people say, so he has never been aware of just how much words can affect you (compare the advice Mizuki's sister and Rui's mom gave them: completely different). This winds him up in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY, where he's unknowingly adjusting himself for WxS to not leave him.

As for Cinema, both songs capture how Akito and Rui's struggles and fears at the time feel like the exact same - being left behind and losing your place because you weren't enough, to the point of losing who you really are (Akito pushing himself to be passionate to match everyone else, Rui falling into the trap of peer pressure to match everyone else. What they envy in 'everyone else' is how they want things that Akito and Rui don't feel like they really care about and view as meaningless. But in truth, they don't care about it only because they're more concerned about belonging - they've always had it deep down in them.).

But in Akito's case, VIVID BAD SQUAD directly reaches out for him when he pushes himself far too much and forces himself to suffer to make up for his lack of talent. That's why Akito is reassured that even at his weakest and most pathetic, there will be people there who refuse to leave him alone. So Cinema feels like Akito freely lamenting on how he's different from the people, that he can't keep up with them, but with VBS by his side, he feels like it's fine to find and pursue who he truly is.

On the other hand, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels like Rui's suppressed spite from having to keep up with WxS in order to not be left alone. Because everyone else will betray him, it has to be and can only be WxS who've endured him until now. It's the first time he found people who would stay, so he's desperate not to lose them that he would subconsciously change himself so he can keep matching their needs. And the realization makes him spiteful, because he's lost what was fun for him from that need to change for others to stay. And he's left to stay lost to the very end, because the only way right now for him to be himself and stop worrying is by others matching him instead, but there is no way to 100% control people - compared to Akito who found his answer by coming to terms with the impossibility to control yourself to be someone else. Because VBS was there to accept him as he was when he was trying so hard to be someone else.

Rui will probably eventually realize he has to just accept he's lost his passion from the fear of being alone and stop lamenting controlling everything around him, once he gets tired of it and reaches his limit like Akito in Stray Bad Dogs.

Suddenly everyone started up onto a nonsense scenario (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

It's just like a movie, exactly like a movie. (But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.)

No matter where you go, there's a story. (Just give me a punchline, its meaning can be whatever.)

Cinema and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are like the perspectives of two boys who feel like outsiders to the world, but one is actively trying change himself to belong somewhere and the other finds himself suddenly facing peer pressure when he used to not care about belonging somewhere. It's even contrasted in Akito's customer service front and Rui's indifference to school terrorism that they are foils of one another in a society. And probably why Akito hates Rui too - for taking any means necessary to achieve what he wants without a care for people, when Akito has spent his life working hard to be equals to people in order to belong.

[More similarities in lyrics, in no particular order (CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY in brackets):

Traffic’s already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” "What was it supposed to be like then?" (What happened to things you wanted to sing about?)

Back then I'm sure it was there. The thing that I envisioned was there. When was it that I... (There must have been something you wanted to sing about.)

What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be? There's no way you could be that, right? (At this rate this will never end. What you want definitely isn't money.)]

Maybe it's coincidence, but the lyrics in Cinema also reference Curtain Call very early on:

Someday it'll be bye-bye when the end comes, so Smile for the curtain call and applause.

Cinema is accepting of it and faces it head-on. Rui still avoids it.

And Cinema also captured what happened in Backlit Lens Flare with Bakuno. Something Rui couldn't figure out on his own without Sakaki and Emu:

If you're not suited for the role, Then just rewrite the script!

This is as if implying Akito realizes early on that people are all different, and there may come a time you have to part because of your differences. So you don't have to keep worrying about fitting in - try your best to be yourself instead and smile when it all ends.

This is something that Rui hasn't faced at all, so it's pretty meta that he hadn't thought of matching the actor's individualities. It seems he's lived with the belief that directors have to adjust themselves according to the level they believe the actors are on and actors have to work their hardest to live up to the director's wishes at all times - because the director knows best. Instead of truly understanding their actors for who they are as individuals and what they individually need.

"I always try to cast actors in a way that brings out their strengths." "That's why I always get you to play the role of a type that is easiest for you to match."

And this becomes a regret for Rui in the same story - realizing that he hadn't thought enough about what Tsukasa really wanted and needed.

"...I feel a little regretful that I hadn't thought that far."

Nene's surprise at Rui's words further imply that this isn't how he normally is. That he wouldn't be thinking so much about people and their personal needs.

It isn't therefore surprising that he agrees with and commits to the mindset that he has to power through his emotions without speaking to anyone. He expects that from his actors, and applying it to real life, it means that your role and scenario have already been decided from birth and what was left was living up to it. It's frighteningly similar to the lyrics in Engeki, which I wasn't even thinking about. Except it wasn't forced on him but rather something Rui decided on his own, with no harmful intent from the people who fed that mindset. Even before KAITO - it was his mother who unknowingly instilled this in him:

"People are people, I am myself. If you take care of what you like, someday you'll be able to make friends too. Like how I met your dad." (i.e. don't bother with the painful things around you, just keep doing what you do and keep going until you get there.)

And hence why this commission is full of firey anger. The story tramples on the way Rui has lived until now, proving him wrong when he thought he finally found his answer by powering through his fear of losing WxS. How it made him realize that he had at some point been driven by something petty like being with friends forever and lost the passionate part of him, the one who would do anything to satisfy himself. He's realized he's no longer having fun like the child he used to be, evident from the lyrics that start off with how he no longer has anything he wants to convey.

"Now let's all laugh. Aren't views more important than art? A terrible price for the virus. So what will you do? Is that really fine?" The lyrics are as if Rui is finally realizing that everything he's been doing, making people smile up until now, has been just for views (for WxS to stay around), and it finally makes him question, is this what he really wants??? Where did all the passion, fun and self-satisfaction that he thought he was making shows for went to???

(This is a more literal translation, the popular TL translates it as Then what do we do? Was that how it was supposed to go?)

I don't know if it's clear now - but in conclusion, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels very much like Rui realizing how he was more focused on protecting his place over enjoying what he does. The first lines of the song do seem to be screaming a spitefulness in not being able to just do what you enjoy: "No one wants to listen (...), I don't have anything I want to convey (...)"

That's why CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY is an ironic name, appearing on the director's cut to imply they're filming a movie of Rui's life. How Rui had been living dead against his own self - falling victim to peer pressure (trends) to protect his place in WxS. Until Sakaki reminds him of the heights his true self wanted to reach and reignites the passionate fire for theatre inside him.

In summary, to simplify it, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY's parallels come together to tell a complete story about Rui Kamishiro (biased but idc): 1) Jackpot Sad Girl: The unhealthiness of Rui and Mafuyu's mindset of powering through what they think they want without properly talking to people. 2) Kitty: How putting your trust in people can sway your heart and steer you away from what you truly want, something Mizuki knows and thus avoids but not Rui. 3) Cinema: A combination of Jackpot Sad Girl and Kitty - how a person with Rui's mindset is left feeling angry and confused when realizing he has lost himself from having his heart unexpectedly swayed by people. This is foiled by a complete opposite like Akito who has lived a life with no reason to truly call his own and is bitterly aware of how it is all because his life has always been completely defined by other people.

(Man, I LOVE the Cinema foils so much. Akito and Rui are such perfect opposites I LOVE THEM.)

And finally, from the end of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY:

Devoid of soul, music remains silent Unheard lyrics conceal their essence; without playback, music loses its meaning. Thus, modern music is pronounced deceased.

YES. YES. DEVOID OF SOUL AS I SAID, HOW RUI KAMISHIRO FEELS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD. PLAYBACK!!! LOOK BACK AT YOUR PAST AND FIND YOURSELF!!! REMEMBER THE JOY AND PASSION YOU CAN'T GIVE UP RUI-KUN!!! Stop trying to keep people around, face solitude and be brave: what's most important is to be yourself!

Backlit Lens Flare felt like a reawakening for Rui, and it's why it's one of the best stories alongside Pandemonium for me. If Tsukasa is completely avoidant, then Rui is full of blatant lies. But of course because the writers will never clearly describe the emotions in WxS stories, I can't confirm this is the intended interpretation. It's just my own personal interpretation that I enjoy best and makes most emotional sense to my personal experiences.

But my opinions are bound to change because there are soooo many ways of seeing things. For now, this is what I think of Rui Kamishiro in Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

[blortch]

You've probably answered a question like that before but what would you say was your favorite episode of each of the rlm "shows" (for lack of a better word) if you had to pick one from each? Interpret "favorite" however you want

I actually haven't gotten an ask of this sort before! The closest I can think of was when I ranked the Halloween BOTW sets. I know you prob meant like HITB, BOTW and Re:View but like I'm gonna go a bit more extensive and include other small series they have. I'm gonna leave out anything Spitballs bc idc and anything Plinkett-related bc in the 100 years I've been watching them I skimmed through like the first part of the phantom menace review and Nothing Else.

Going to start with Re:View bc it's fuckin' easy. It's Obviously the FWWM Re:View. It's what got me into Twin Peaks, and it means a lot to me. In hindsight Jay's kinda off with some of his takes (nothing Bad, just a different perspective as a massive Donnie Darko fan and projecting too much of that dynamic into the movie):

BOTW-wise this might be a super normie pick but like it's a good BOTW for a reason. Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #16. Jackpots guy followed by Surviving Edged Weapons was too great. You can kinda see that They themselves Knew this was going to be a BOTW Classic because when Mike tells Jay to talk about the tape he's Legitimately Nervous over Talking about it. ("Oh man...this is a lot of pressure...I don't know if I can do this..."):

For HITB...I'm sorry but this one's going to be a complete cop-out, (but hey at least I didn't choose the Death Cure HITB...) it's Half in the Bag Episode 138: 2017 Movie Catch-up (part 2 of 2). When I think of what I want from them review-wise it's honestly like... pointed discussions about a movie or show and this delivers exactly that. Whenever they go a little too deep they often dig themselves into a grave of either caring about something too small and inane or something they think is funny but isn't at all (cough Mike's tangents cough) so honestly letting them talk for only a few minutes tops about a movie is the absolute sweet spot. The reviews where the entire discussion is good are rare imo:

Of __ and __ Talk About I wanna say... probably Rich and Jay talk about the Boys? Just because it's the only show/movie I gave a fuck about among this series? I don't get what Rich sees in Garth Ennis' work specifically bc he's kind of a suckass but the show itself was interesting to find out more about regardless through them:

Of Nerd Crew I have to go for The Nerd Crew: Episode 2, the bit with the nerd box+geek crate was fucking hilarious. Not to mention the ending where Rich knocks over the cameras... I imagine Mike prepared the Nerd Box and Jay the Geek Crate? Just because Mike seemed to comment a lot more on the nerd box' contents (Rich said too that the knock-off Rey figure inside it was his doing) and seemed bewildered by the geek crate while Jay laughed nervously at everything Rich took out of it. Jay's such an asshole for making poor Rich gag uncontrollably with those sliced up sausages if so 😭:

ig by now they've put together enough Mini Docs to have a playlist for them so I'll pick one out of those too - I have to go for We Finally Watched Nukie: The VHS Grading Video just because the fact that it lead up for years from them collecting all those Nukies to joking about donating to charity in their trivia video, their tape destructions etc...And the entire video is just legitimately well-put together:

Talking about Trivia...of those videos I like the first one (Star Trek Trivia Showdown: Mike vs Jay (Episode 1 of 2,873)) the best just because it tortured Jay specifically. That's it that's the entire reason I shan't pretend otherwise. He was flustered throughout its entirety and also seemed smitten by the suggestion in the patreon bts of it to be compensated with a Twin Peaks trivia after:

From the Dudebros I have to go for Dudebros Episode 3 - The Dinner Surprise, ig out of all of them it was on the meatier (no pun intended) side (unlike Too Glose for Comfort) and the choices in this one are the most bizarre out of all I think...I'd like to have been a fly on the wall as they decided that Nate should cum in his pants over watching Tommy and Ronnie eat:

I'm not gonna name a season from the Grabowskis I think it would be too cheap for me to not pick a specific episode so I'll go for the third season episode where Honey gets chosen as the Face of the company Wings and Things and Cliff thinks she's gonna leave him. The whole ep makes me think that they cared a lot about the show at some point, or at least enough to make a cute little pigeon trap prop:

Out of their horrible, horrible 48 hour film projects (Das Foot, The Great Space Jam, the Western Ore Musical) I'm gonna have to go for The Western Ore Musical... just bc it was like... something as opposed to Nothing... Das Foot is very Jay I think and respectively The Great Space Jam is very Mike which makes them both super embarrassing and unwatchable:

ty for the ask! t'was fun to put together B]

[starrylayle]

hi!

ive seen your sirius posts and i like the way u talk abt his character. ive been struggling to find fics with “og” characterization of him. i really love the way he is in cadence, if you’ve read it. do u have any wolfstar longfic recs for that? thanku!!

if u dont do recs just ignore😂

Oop sorry for taking so long to answer! Been busy with school and all that.

Anyways, in regards to ur question,,,, I actually haven't seen many fics that characterise sirius as he is in canon (and if they do, he's straight so....)

My favourite fics however are rollercoasterwords 's fics atyd sirius perspective and When the worm Moon dies. I love both of these fics SO MUCH and they mean so much me. I feel like sirius is characterised so authentically. (Tho Remus' characterisation in those fics are more closer to the fanon interpretation but idc coz it's written well and my boy sirius is written amazingly)

I'll have to check out cadence then huh. I've been meaning to read but the length kinda scares me loll

[ilovebeingt4t]

a (not) little rant about total drama’s portrayal of dissociative identity disorder in ROTI and AS

a few little tidbits before we get into the juice…

-i don’t have DID ! i have a dissociation disorder and i’ve done a lot of research on DID, but that obviously doesn’t mean i know as much as someone in a system would. if i make any mistakes or you want to add/correct anything, please do !

-since there isn’t an official name for the system as a whole, i’m gonna use “mike system” to refer to mike, chester, svetlana, vito, manitoba, and mal as a system

-before anyone says it, i know it’s “just a kids’ show” but it’s a kids’ show i’m insane and not normal about. so i’m very passionate about this. also kids’ shows should still be normal about mental illnesses/disabilities so idc

alright stinkers… let’s get into it

ok ! mike systems DID in ROTI isn’t GOOD representation but it isn’t like. the worst out there compared to some other media. some huge positives are the way the alters have actual triggers, and that everyone in the system IS portrayed as their own person, not just an extension or part of mike. i interpret the “gasp” the body does with switches as a stand in for dissociation (since they couldn’t really have him just sit there and stare into space bc of plot/time reasons) and it’s very easy to assume the role of everyone in the system from their personalities and triggers. the best example of this to me is vito ! vito is a “tough guy” who’s triggered to front by his shirt coming off, it’s easy to put the pieces together and assume his role is a protector who formed due to sexual abuse.

obviously, the use of the outdated term multiple personality disorder, the very quick switches, the fact the writers obviously did not actually research DID and just wanted a silly crazy character, and probably more i’m forgetting rn, are NOT issues to just ignore because of the good stuff. it’s definitely NOT good or super accurate representation by any means, but i don’t think it’s exactly super bad either. it’s iffy but has redeeming qualities to it.

another plus about mike system in ROTI, even though this isn’t really part of the portrayal of DID as a disorder, is that mike has a love interest that isn’t written as a joke. i feel like having mike in a romantic relationship is a BIG positive representation wise. it’s really important to me that even though zoey is confused and weirded out when she didn’t know what was going on, once she found out mike was part of a system she became more understanding and didn’t give up on him. being part of a system doesn’t mean you can’t have a partner, friends, etc and mike being in a wholesome healthy relationship is a nice breath of fresh air compared to other media portraying DID.

NOW. LETS ADDRESS MAL AND ALL STARS. GOOD LORD.

all stars has an issue with watering down characters and making poor plot/character choices in general, and in my opinion it’s the worst with mike system. ROTI had questionable at times but ok DID rep with mike system, which is why it’s so disappointing that AS took the “evil alter” route and whatever the hell the button thing was… bc they were SO close with having ok representation and then they threw it all away for an overdone and harmful stereotype. mike system in ROTI is a MASTERPIECE compared to whatever the hell was going on in AS.

even when you take into account that in a real life system, mal is most similar to the role of a persecutor (an alter who sabotages the body’s relationships and causes harm to the body/other alters as a way to “protect” everyone in their eyes (oops ! i was wrong. a persecutor isn’t always a protector, however they can take the role of a persecutor and protector which is where i got confused. mal is a both a persecutor and protector to me)) which makes SOME of his actions explainable TO AN EXTENT, it’s clear the writers didn’t have that intent and just wanted a spooky evil alter, which is really disappointing. along with the button issue, which is just…. so insane….

i choose to believe for my own sanity that the button was sort of an emergency temporary dormancy button and that chester fr just lied/didn’t know and made something up. but that obviously isn’t canon, and IN CANON the body’s trauma and serious disorder was literally gone because of the PRESS OF A BUTTON and it is absolutely ridiculous. and it’s portrayed as a GOOD THING.

systems are systems because it is the only way the body and brain can maintain stability and live after serious repeated trauma. in a real situation with a system, if there was somehow a way to get rid of alters in literal seconds, the consequences would be ABSOLUTELY DISASTROUS and unstable. obviously, integration and dormancy CAN be a good thing depending on the system, but it is a LOOONG and complicated process and watering it down to the press of a button in your brain is so inappropriate and insensitive. literally why did they do that. it’s just so disappointing to go from what mike system was in roti to what they became in all stars.

sorry u guys i am just passionate about this

[illegallymale]

about me

24 y/o. bisexual nonbinary trans man on T and pre-op. hmu if you live near or travel to the north texas (southern usa) area

you can call me tex or cody

pronouns (in order of pref): he, it, xe.

everything here is consensual risk-aware sex/kink, roleplay, and/or fantasy. i also love academically dissecting kink and sexuality. don’t follow if either of those bother you lol

👇🏻more detailed about below👇🏻

other accounts: main- @dunmertitty, horny sideblog- @illegallymale, mantits sideblog- @nonbinarybara, my nudes- @hehimh0le

im 24 and i go by tex or cody. only use he/him/his, it/its/itself, or xe/xem/xeyr for me. i’m a masc nonbinary transsexual man; you may interpret that however you wish in regards to interacting. i’m on T and pre-op.

my first priority is always fellow transexies (t4t) but im cis inclusive. im bisexual aroaceflux and regularly use the following terms to describe my sexuality: transfag, transhet, bifag, bihet, nb fag, het nb. im not polyamorous or monogamous, but a secret third thing i just vibe with whatever my partner/s want. im single/unpartnered atm. i’m a switch verse but i prefer being a sub (both top & btm). i’m horny most of the time but how much i actually have sex fluctuates with my dysphoria.

i try not to engage with anyone who uses pro-ship/anti-ship language, i think you’re all childish and lack the ability to understand nuance. stop trying to understand the real world in fandom terms.

i’m exploring kink but below i’ll list some i’m interested in (✅), not interested in but generally will still partake in (⚠️), and limits/hard no’s (🛑). most kinks you can assume i’m into both sub (⬇️) & dom (⬆️) but i’ll mark if only one or the other

list is non-extensive and may frequently change

✅: breeding (no preg), petplay, s&m⬇️, bondage, impact play, hickeys/bruises/scratches/marks, cnc, cockwarming, piss/watersports, choking, hair pulling, service/houseboy/maid, praise, degradation, gender affirmation, bro sex/straight boy roleplay/forcemasc, certain fauxcest, edging, overstim, frotting/scissoring/tribbing, monsterfucking, tentacles, exhibitionism, masks/face coverings

⚠️: wax play, feet stuff

🛑*: misgendering/detrans/forcefem ⬇️, intense impact play⬆️, scat, vomit, actual pregnancy⬇️

*this is not a dni, just stuff i don’t like. idc what kinks you have, do whatever you want as long as you’re not tagging images of me with anything that misgenders me, i’m probably cool with your kinks as long as you use RACK or smthn

[zzencat]

Quick Starters. ⱄⰔ

- some things to note ∗ .⋆ ☆ ₊˚ (will update if needed)

——————-

• Open for anyone to read (idc who or what you identify as, as long as you walk in with good intentions.) Spirit does not discriminate.

• IMPORTANT: I tap into more subconscious layers of the psyche, so my readings or messages for you will likely resonate with things you try to dismiss subconsciously or don’t pay much attention to—the inner demons, inner soul type shit. This, I gotta make sure is clear.

• remember to always clear your mind and keep negative emotions at bay. your energy can affect what pile you choose and how you interpret it. it’s not just the blog’s theme, but where you should actually be when you’re here. you stepped in and accepted where the garden will take you. immerse yourself into it.

• take readings with a grain of salt bc they are always prone to change due to many variables.

• I do not sugarcoat my readings. If you’re meant to hear it, take it in. Sometimes, they come out broken as if I’m sitting down with a pile’s higher self and jotting down notes; I will do my best to bridge the gaps here 👍

Note: when I do readings, the spirit who is communicating to my spirit team, then to me is different in each pile, meaning that whatever message they left for you in a pile (or two) was meant to be expressed as such. For example, some can come out short and straightforward, while others may be longer and more detailed. It depends on the person’s higher self and the overall persona.)

• After a reading, feel free to ask me for clarification on ANY of my readings if you need it! I will figure it out with you. I have no problem doing that; do not think yourself as a bother or burden.

However, keep in mind that it’s just us now left to do the interpretation since their higher selves are done communicating what they’ve felt they needed to. That also means that if something sounds confusing, they either meant to do that (for whatever reason), OR they don’t know how to express what they want themselves. In these moments, I usually encourage the spirit to expand. (Regardless, I’ll be as transparent as possible and will let you know what I can without overly prying/overwhelming the spirit. Based on my recent ghostly spook, I’m going to learn from that mistake 😅)

——————-

• Observe and acknowledge in your daily life the signs and synchronicities. I like to give credit to my spirit team and say things like “yeah I see you guys. I see it” out loud lmfao 😂 I guess I say it out loud so I can reassure them in a way, that I’m not ignoring it. But that’s just me haha (Example: seeing certain numbers everywhere and then having an event or manifestation come into fruition. For me personally, seeing the same 2 or 3 number combinations (222, 888, 444, 38, etc.) have helped me protect myself and predict the outcome of things.)

• Find out how you manifest things. Some people manifest just by writing things they want, daily affirmations, etc. So many different ways. For me, it’s by Law of Assumption. I was doing this unknowingly and manifested things “by accident” in my real life. But it works only if I have good intentions with what I’m trying to pull into my life.

——————-

Reading Examples I Will Not Do:

• How to speed up union with [insert person] - Time works in accordance with your higher good. You will meet a person when you are meant to meet them. Things will happen for a reason. Trying to (hypothetically) speed up the manifestation creates a rocky foundation and is overall, not in your best interest. Timing will adjust itself. Trust in the universe.

• “When will I meet [insert person]?” - Especially when asking for a certain time or date. Same reason as the previous point: things are susceptible to change. A given time is not reliable enough to guarantee this meeting. Ultimately, it's up to spirit whether if this meeting will be good for you or a learning experience.

[ben-wisehart]

hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

[groven4]

Markiplier Egos with an Aromantic DA / Viewer

a/n: I randomly decided I really wanna get something out for aro week, so I've got a oneshot mayhaps involving a certain adventurer in the works, but knowing me that might take a while (if I even finish it all) and these tend to be easier for me. So, that's why this exists...not that you asked.

(edit: made one for Ace hcs.)

WILFORD WARFSTACHE

He wouldn't really care, but in like a supportive way.

He may not look like it, but the guy's got some common sense.

I can't see him as the type to ask a lot of questions especially if you're visibly uncomfortable around the topic. (tho ig he might if it's for an interview, not sure)

A big part of Wil's character is just accepting shit as it is and not questioning what you can't understand because falling down that spiral is ultimately unhealthy; so if you were to come out to him as any sexuality/gender identity, he'd most likely just accept you immediately and move one.

Expect to receive a lot of aro themed stickers on pride month though.

DARKIPLIER

Also doesn't care, but it's less him being supportive (tho he is) and more: it doesn't affect him, so why should he care?

Like you do you. Your love life is none of his business.

Quite frankly, he couldn't give a shit.

Though, he might find some relatability with you.

Despite how one might interpret ADWM, I cannot see Dark as an entity with the capability to feel much of anything. (other than rage, vengefulness, etc.)

There are some vague memories of past feelings from both Celine and Damien (and possibly the house entity, idk) mostly shown through his clear favoritism for Wil.

However, I don't think he really can feel romantic feelings, nor does he want to.

Being loved sounds nice, but ultimately it would just get in the way.

So having someone around that's kind of like him in that regard is almost nice...cathartic even.

You both like to watch 'marriage gameshows' (the bachelor, love is blind, etc.) over wine and laugh about how you'll never have to deal with relationship problems. (idc if that one's ooc)

GOOGLEPLIER

He can't really feel romantic attraction himself, yk being a robot and all.

If you tried explaining aromanticism to him he'd probably just be like: "Yeah, and??".

He's supportive in a sense, that sense being: you not having a partner would mean one less meat sack he has to deal with once he manages to get admin privileges.

BINGIPLIER

Kinda stumped on this one ngl.

I just can't find a reason why he'd care whatsoever.

He'd just be like: "Oh...siiiick, brah." with total Bill and Ted energy.

ACTOR

(edit: this is pre-wkm btw. idk why I did that, it doesn't really fit with the others that way. so I probably won't do it again in future hcs. sorry ig.)

I imagine it comes up at a party.

He starts asking you about your love life.

You tell him that you've never really been interested in that kind of stuff, and you probably never will.

What does he do?

...

He calls you boring.

...

AND THEN JUST FUCKIN' WALKS AWAY- like- ????

In all seriousness, he's mostly chill about it throughout your friendship, but it's hard for me not to picture him as the type to think you're just being naive and that 'everyone has to find someone someday'. (I believe WKM takes place in the 1920s, so like, what were you expecting?)

That is until Celine cheats on him.

It was just such a world shattering thing for him, he genuinely loved her more than anything.

It's not a complete 180°, he doesn't suddenly understand your lack of attraction from this, but one night you check in with him to find him wasted in his wine cellar and he's basically like: "You had it right all along, my friend. Love...Love is not for everyone. ...Certainly not the faint of heart."

Which like, you didn't choose this, but you were more focused on making sure he was okay at the time to care.

YANCY

A part of me wants to think he'd be a little confused at first just cause the idea of having to explain aromanticism and/or asexuality to him because he's just genuinely curious is really adorable to me.

However, the rest of me refuses to believe his friend group isn't entirely comprised of both people in the lgbtq+ community and hardcore allies who would happily beat the shit out of aphobes on a daily basis.

Not to say that they think of you as child-like because of your sexuality, but it's a prison family and you're 'fresh meat' so you're their little aro-bean now whether you like it or not.

Yancy especially is protective of you in an almost older brother type way.

So if after/during coming out to them (or just him) you mention how scared you were/are because you've had a lot of bad experiences or something, he's like constantly ready to sucker punch and/or ballerina kick anyone giving you flack over just being who you are.

He's always willing to tell you how valid you are when you need to hear it, and overall is just a really great friend.

...Even with the stabbing.

ILLINOIS

In an odd way, he almost feels...relieved?

Call it a humble brag, but literally all of his past work partners had fallen in love with him at some point, and while the attention certainly feeds his ego, that kinda thing just gets tired and even annoying after a while.

So knowing that'll never happen with you is actually a nice break from what he's grown so used to.

He's never had someone around who genuinely enjoys adventuring as much as he does.

And who isn't like constantly ogling him. (I mean probably anyway, idk what it's like to be aroallo)

Having you around may also cause him to start questioning some things about himself, particularly when you're explaining your orientation.

But that's a topic we'll be getting into at another time! (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* *stares at empty draft*)

He's still used to trying to fluster people cause he finds it funny and in general is just the kind of person to be a bit touchy with his friends (meaning: platonic hand holding, hugs, head/back pats, standing weirdly close a lot of the time just naturally, etc.), so if you're ever uncomfortable just tell him and he'll cut it out straight away.

You're both just kinda really good friends, and he's not at all weird about it like you thought he might be.

CAPTAIN MAGNUM

Supportive Pirate Dad! 10/10!

You definitely have to explain what it means to him, but he verbally accepted you before he even asked.

Kinda like: "That's great!...What is it?-"

Would have the crew sew you a flag if it would make you happy.

They are still pirates who have been sailing across the deep blue their whole lives with presumably no contact with the mainland however.

So unless you for some fuckin reason told them what it looks like, you can expect to receive a relatively small, plain black flag with the word 'Arrowmantik.' spelled incorrectly and somehow sewn on in perfect white Helvetica.

...

You hung the flag right above your hammock.

It is your most prized possession.

HEAD ENGINEER

Might be a little discouraged at first. His crush on you was a tad obvious.

But he figures it's for the best. You are the captain after all. Pursuing that relationship wouldn't have been professional in the slightest.

It does take a bit but he gets over it eventually.

He still genuinely loves you platonically/as a person, so things don't really change all that much.

You still have a strong friendship and work really well together.

He tends to go a bit overboard now about giving you personal space cause he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. So you may have to reassure him multiple times if it wasn't an issue.

During when pride month would be on earth he might gift you little aro themed stuff, like a patch you can't actually add to your uniform for work reasons but love and appreciate anyway.

He may not fully understand how you feel, but he never stops trying to, and either way he's always gonna support you no matter what.

Your orientation could never change how much he loves and trusts you both as a captain and as his friend.

MURDOCK

He doesn't really care since it doesn't affect what you guys do, though he is openly accepting, especially if it seemed like you needed to hear that it wasn't something that bothered him.

In a similar vein to Illinois, he's strangely grateful.

He's not sure how he would've dealt with the situation had you developed a crush on him. Such emotions tend to get in the way more often than not in his line of work.

He didn't wanna have to kill you just to make his life easier. Taking a life out of necessity isn't as much fun, plus he'd grown a tad fond of you.

I like to think he cares quite a bit about your mental health, it would make sense given the whole murder thing.

So if you often go through periods of doubt or even internalized self hatred regarding being aromantic, he's gonna be there to help you through it.

He goes with you to pride parades and if anyone tries to tell you that you don't belong there, they're immediately getting put on a black list.

He got you a nifty little keychain once while you were there.

Overall, surprisingly wholesome.

a/n: I went back and forth on whether or not I was gonna use the pronouns I hc them all as using, but in the end I just said 'fuck it, appeal to general audiences, why not at this point'. I'm really fuckin' tired, dude. Just- HAPPY ARO WEEK! ig.

[yawwwndere]

"What’s crazy is this world that refuses to let me be with you.”

Greetings, people ❀ You may call me Roxo and I use any pronouns.

This is my safe spot to dump thoughts on media and my writing. I may reblog art too; I know what it looks like, but this isn't a yandere blog. IDC if yandere blogs follow as long as they're aware of that. I used to use yanderecore to cope when I was younger, so like let's go baddies❗️❗️❗️

I'm 17, mixed white Brazilian-USAmerican, (transmisogny-exempt) queer, and communist with a lot of mental shit going on. Don't say I didn't warn you, teehee 😇

✿ DNI: Zionists (including anti-resistance); People who call themselves proshippers; Stolitz fans who think Stolas isn't abusive; Follow crooked-wasteland; Other than that, I block who I want.

✿ TAGS ✿

— #TEXT: Anything I've written or added commentary onto.

— #DREAMS OF FUTURE MEMORIES: The name of my Future Diary deconstruction/parody story, which I work on here & there; This tag includes general Future Diary stuff that I'd like to reference or merely share too ❀

— #CRITICAL: Critcism towards certain media (when that's the main focus).

— #FANDOM: Any fandom critiques or observations.

— #TOXIC YURI: Self-explanatory; Mostly Catradora and Madohomu.

— #ASK: Self-explanatory.

MY CRITIC RED FLAG ⁉️⁉️⁉️ 😳 If people wanna block me or shoot me on sight IDK...

I love She-ra and the Princesses of Power & Catradora (or at least the version of it in my head) with all my heart. Catra was a character I used to cope with my Cluster B traits growing up and her & Adora are both the rawest depictions of BPD (Catra-only) & NPD I've ever seen in my life. I love the character dynamics within the show in general and to this day, I've never found another show where the interactions have as much complexities or different interpretations as She-ra.

With that being said, I think they both act toxic & arguably abusive to each other (with only Catra being called out & getting a redemption arc that even then I have issues with) and I wish the narrative did something with that much more. I dislike the mainstream fandom ignoring a lot of their problems & even framing certain behaviors (mostly Adora's) as romantic. However, I also hate the anti-Shera crowd pushing aside Adora's toxic behavior, but this is unsurprising to me considering how in interviews (that I've seen at least) with N.D. Stevenson and the voice actors, it's clear a lot of subtext to Adora's character, especially her NPD traits, were overlooked by the writers themselves. Her controlling behavior was often turned into simply "caring too much" and her status as the main character that we are meant to see ourselves in as we follow along with the story stops most people from questioning her motivations & seeing her as anything more than just "Her trauma made her kinder! But to everyone except herself :(".

That's really all. Enjoy the show ❀❀❀

But... that's all discussion for another day. I only bring it up here, because I love the show and will probably talk about it quite a bit. I've rewatched it a few days, but one day I'd like to rewatch in order to post my own analysis. For now though, I'd recommend some of ericas-spop-blog's posts if you're one of those people who I know is gonna get defensive over me criticizing Adora at times. I WILL block both fans and critics on my account, either if you're being nasty or frankly I don't have the energy to respond. This is like... more of a personal account anyway, so I'm honestly more concerned about talking to mutuals or people I already follow. I really don't care about taking criticism all the time, even if it's not malicious, so don't always take it personally.