#or maybe she didn't bring it up because she didn't want to make the others worry about what happened

[renthony]

The problem is that intersex people are overwhelmingly forced to accept medical "interventions." Intersexist doctors look at intersex people and see a problem to be fixed. They tell intersex people and parents of intersex people that intersex traits are bad and need to be "corrected," regardless of whether there is any actual medical need. It's not that intersex kids are saying, "hey, I'm dysphoric, can I get help?" it's that intersex kids are told "hey, your body is wrong, don't you want to be normal?" and pressured, or outright forced, into these "treatments."

When I went to the clinic, I never brought up my facial hair or intersex traits to the doctor. I was not there for anything related to my intersex status. I was there for completely unrelated reasons, but the doctor decided to bring it up herself, and lecture me all about how my body was "acting up" and "needed some help." I was alone, with nobody to advocate for me. If I hadn't already known about the way doctors are intersexist, and I hadn't had the force of will to look at her and tell her "no," I might have believed her! I might have let her do things I didn't actually feel comfortable with! I might have thought, "oh, shit, maybe my body is wrong, since the medical professional thinks so," even though it isn't. I might have consented to her invasive ideas of how to "fix" me if I wasn't already distrustful of doctors and aware of medical intersexism.

If I had been a child, what could she have forced onto me? What could she have tricked a parent into consenting to on my behalf, regardless of my own feelings about it? She could have wielded her medical authority to force me into any number of things, and I would have had zero protection. How many other intersex people has she done this to? How many intersex people has she looked at and said, "your body needs medical intervention to look the way I think it's supposed to, so let me change it for you?" How many children has she decided, based on her own biases and perception, are "broken" and need their intersex traits surgically purged?

Intersex traits aren't seen as a natural variation, they're seen as a disorder that has to be "treated" in order to make someone "normal." Intersex people have talked at great length about the abuses we've faced in the medical system and the lack of trust we have in it, and it's because doctors don't care about our consent or preferences. They only care that we are "abnormal."

This is the first time i’ve seen a pro-trans poster in a long time and i hope whoever put it up is having a good day, it made me feel a little less alone.

Hamilton, New Zealand

[olderthannetfic]

I was listening to a true crime podcast and they mentioned Lolita. I braced myself for a bad take, because I'm so, so used to that - only for the cohost to bring up that his mother, a pediatric forensic psychologist, got into psychology because she read Lolita when she was 12. Reading all the ways the narrator justified his crimes and rewrote events to tell himself the child started it unnerved her so much she got books from the library on psychology and then on criminology. She wanted to know if people really did that. When she found out that they did, she became determined to find a way to help children who were trapped by master manipulators.

And so the true crime podcast's conclusion was that books are not inherently going to make you do anything and they didn't care that the killer was really into reading books about Nazis and Nazi crimes. If you're a good person, you would read that and be motivated to do something good. In order to read it and be motivated to want to torture someone who's a minority, your own mind and you as a person would already have to have a desire to do that. You would have to already be inclined towards hurting others for that to be fuel for that fire.

The YouTube comments were, predictably, a mix. Lots of 20 and 30 somethings yelling about how fiction causes crime, yeah, but a lot of 40 somethings and over going, "No. That's not how this works. Did you listen to the episode? This man had sadistic instincts as a child, he didn't get them from reading books on Nazis when he was in his 20's. He was already evil, actually". But despite the people determined to think reading makes you do things, I found it overall to be a net positive. Because a lot of people in the comments were saying things like "I never thought about it that way" and "I didn't realize dark fiction could help someone", etc. And that gives me hope maybe these people can be reached.

--

[theorphicangel]

maybe I’m thinking about the moment sukuna sits yuji down and finally tells him the truth about him and reader

( full fic before this is here but not needed to read this drabble!!)

sukuna finally sits yuji down, it’s only the two of them in the living room with sukuna’s twin brother, Jin, away at work.

yuji was busy playing with his fire truck in front of the couch until he hears his uncle to come sit next to him.

'hey yuj' come here for a sec'

the little one comes by, his toy fire truck that sukuna had gotten him for christmas still in hand. his eyes are wide and curious, giving his uncle his full attention. just at this sight, sukuna feels his stomach drop.

how the fuck was he supposed to break it to a six year old that you won't be around anymore? yuji practically worshipped you, from the first time that he introduced the two of you, yuji got obsessed. he followed you around and bombarded you with questions, asking every little thing about you. he gave you his shitty drawings and you kept them, putting them on your fridge. you'd make time to sit and play with him, diving into yuji's imaginative world a whole lot better than sukuna ever did.

you were patient and caring around him which sukuna appreciated a lot, it made yuji look up to you and treasure you greatly.

but now...well it's not the same. you haven't come by in weeks and yuji's began to question your disappearance.

'well...' sukuna hesitated, his tongue suddenly caught in his throat. what were the right words? how should he phrase this correctly so that his nephew doesn't end up in complete tears?

'yuji, you know-'

yuji cuts him off, stating your name.

sukuna lets out a dry cough, 'yes...about her' he can't bring himself to say your name. '...well we broke up. a couple weeks ago.'

sukuna lets his words digest. yuji looks down at his lap, fiddling with his truck, trying to comprehend. 'broke up?'

'yeah,' sukuna sighs, 'we're not seeing each other anymore.'

silence forms in the living room excluding the clock on the wall suddenly loud in its tick-tick-tick-tick.

'so...she won't come over anymore?'

'no, she won't'

'oh, okay.' there's clear sadness in the six year old's voice, immediately disappointed and now sukuna understands what his brother meant when he said that it would hurt yuji more than it would hurt him.

sukuna throws a hand at reassurance. 'it's okay bud because you still have me... and-and we'll do fun things together alright?'

yuji nods before speaking again, reflecting a little.

'but aren't you sad?'

sukuna wasn't prepared for that question. he struggles to come up with a quick answer, hesitating. 'yeah...i am.'

'i don't want you to be sad 'kuna' yuji mumbles, kicking his feet.

'it's okay yuji, i'm-'

sukuna's words are cut off by yuji coming in for a hug. his toy is discarded with yuji now focused on the task of wrapping his tiny arms around sukuna's large frame. sukuna shifts yuji onto his lap and returns the hug.

sukuna barely hugs his nephew, only in circumstances where he knows he won't see yuji for a long time.

'i hope you feel better soon.' yuji mumbles, his voice muffled. sukuna says nothing more as suddenly his throat is caught and words fail to escape from his lips. if it didn't hit him before then it sure does hit him now.

he hopes yuji doesn't notice his eyes getting blurry.

[bettys-redwinesupernova]

WAITING AIN’T EASY

drew starkey x fem!reader

SUMMARY: after 6 gruelling months of long distance with drew, y/n decides to surprise him on set. listen to ‘waiting ain’t easy’ — Evan Honer!!

based on this ask !! i really hope you enjoy my lovely :) amazing ask as always !! i made a little twist on it though, and added some angsty goodness to make it more emotional <3

WARNINGS: angst to fluff, fighting, crying, mentions of breaking up, long distance relationship, like one (?) curse word, brief mention of cheating rumours (made by the media) and i think that’s it? (lmk if i missed anything !!)

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

THIRD PERSON +

Y/N stared out at the crashing waves outside her beachfront rental in Australia, the sun dipping low in a painted sky of reds and golds. Normally, she would've snapped a picture to send Drew, knowing how much he loved sunsets. But tonight, her phone sat abandoned on the kitchen counter, vibrating occasionally with notifications she couldn't bring herself to check.

It had been nearly six months since she'd left for Australia to film her new movie, a dream opportunity that she'd accepted with boundless enthusiasm. Drew had been so supportive at first, kissing her forehead and promising her they'd figure it out. "Eight months will fly by," he'd said. "We'll make it work." And for a while, they had.

The first few months had been manageable—late-night FaceTime calls, text messages scattered throughout the day, photos exchanged to make each other smile. But as the weeks turned into months, the strain started to show. The time difference, their conflicting schedules, and the exhaustion from their respective work had turned their once-effortless connection into something fragmented and brittle.

And then there were the rumors.

The first article had popped up about a month ago, with pictures of Y/N and her co-star, Paul Mescal, leaving a restaurant. They'd been with a group of castmates, but the tabloids didn't care about context. The angle made it look intimate, as if the two of them had been alone. Headlines screamed: "New Flame on Set?" and "Trouble in Paradise for Drew Starkey and Y/N?"

Drew hadn't believed the rumors—not really. He knew how tabloids worked. But the seed of doubt had been planted. Their conversations became laced with tension. "Why didn't you tell me you were going out?" Drew had asked one night, his voice tight.

"I didn't think I had to give you a play-by-play of my day," she'd snapped, the exhaustion from a grueling shoot making her sharper than she intended.

"I'm not asking for a play-by-play, Y/N. I just want to know what's going on in your life. Is that too much to ask?"

The fight spiraled from there, unresolved, and left a bitter taste that lingered.

Tonight, their most recent argument had pushed them to a breaking point.

She answered the phone after his third call, her voice strained. "Hey."

"Hey," Drew replied, the weight of unspoken words heavy in the silence that followed.

"I'm sorry I didn't call earlier," she began, trying to preempt his frustration. "I got caught up on set, and—"

"Y/N, you always get caught up on set," Drew interrupted, his tone clipped. "I'm starting to feel like I'm not a priority anymore."

Her heart sank. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it? Because it feels like I'm the only one trying here."

"Trying?" she repeated, her voice rising. "Drew, do you know how hard this has been for me too? I miss you every single day, but I can't just drop everything to cater to your insecurities."

"Insecurities?" he echoed, incredulous. "You're calling me insecure because I want to spend more than five minutes talking to my girlfriend? Because I'm tired of feeling like I'm the last thing on your mind?"

"Don't do this," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "Don't twist this into something it's not."

"Then tell me what it is, Y/N," he shot back. "Because right now, it feels like we're falling apart."

Her throat tightened. "Maybe we are," she whispered, the words slipping out before she could stop them.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Drew exhaled shakily on the other end of the line. "Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know what I believe anymore," she admitted, tears streaming down her face. "This... this isn't what I thought it would be. I didn't think it would hurt this much."

"You think I don't hurt too?" His voice cracked, raw with emotion. "You think I don't lie awake every night wishing you were here? That I don't feel like I'm losing my mind wondering if this is worth it anymore?"

Her chest tightened painfully, but she couldn't find the words to soothe him. To soothe herself. The weight of their love—their pain—pressed down on her like a crushing wave.

"I can't do this right now," she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Drew said bitterly, "of course you can't."

And then the line went dead.

Y/N stared at the screen, her hand trembling as the call ended. She wanted to call him back, to take it all back, but the words hung in the air between them, too heavy to ignore.

Halfway across the world in Charleston, Drew sat in his apartment, his phone clutched in his hand. He stared at the empty screen, the echo of their fight replaying in his mind. The silence in the room was deafening, the loneliness suffocating.

They were both alone, yet they'd never felt further apart.

—

Drew sat on set, legs stretched out as he leaned back in his chair, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone. The day had been slow, and while he loved working on Outer Banks, his mind wasn't fully there. It hadn't been for weeks. The weight of his argument with Y/N lingered, the harsh words and silence that followed gnawing at him.

He sighed, locking his phone and tossing it onto the nearby table. The OBX cast was scattered around the set, some chatting, others grabbing snacks. Madelyn, Madison and Carlacia were huddled together near the craft services table, giggling about something. Their sudden burst of laughter caught Drew's attention.

"What's so funny?" he called out, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing!" Madison replied quickly, a little too quickly. She nudged Carlacia, who bit her lip to stifle another laugh.

Suspicious, Drew tilted his head but didn't press further. He wasn't in the mood for their antics today. As much as he loved his friends, all he really wanted was Y/N. Six months apart felt like an eternity, and knowing they still had two more months to go made the ache in his chest worse.

What he didn't know was that Y/N was only minutes away.

Y/N stepped off the plane, her heart pounding as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder. She had managed to keep the wrap of her film a secret from Drew, wanting to surprise him in the best way possible. It hadn't been easy; she'd had to bite her tongue during their rare phone calls and carefully avoid social media posts that might tip him off.

Madelyn, Madison and Carlacia had been the first people she told about her plan, and they had been more than happy to help. When she landed, they were waiting for her, practically vibrating with excitement.

"You ready to blow his mind?" Madelyn asked, grinning as she pulled Y/N into a hug.

"I've never been more ready," Y/N said, her nerves and excitement warring within her.

Carlacia held up her phone, ready to document everything. "Okay, we've got this all planned. He's sitting in the main lounge area. You just walk in, and we'll follow behind you."

Y/N nodded, exhaling shakily. "Let's do this."

Back on set, Drew was oblivious. The girls had disappeared somewhere, but he didn't think much of it. They were always running off to do their own thing. He leaned forward, rubbing his hands over his face as exhaustion crept in.

The sound of footsteps approaching barely registered until he heard a familiar voice, soft and hesitant.

"Hey, Starkey."

Drew's head whipped around so fast that his chair tipped backward, clattering to the floor. He stumbled to his feet, his heart racing as his eyes locked on her.

"Y/N?" His voice cracked, disbelief written all over his face.

Before she could say another word, Drew launched himself toward her, nearly tripping over his fallen chair in his haste. He reached her in seconds, his arms wrapping tightly around her as he lifted her off the ground.

"Y/N," he choked out, his voice breaking as he buried his face in her shoulder.

She clung to him just as tightly, her arms wrapped around his neck as tears spilled down her cheeks. "Hi, baby," she whispered, her voice shaking.

Drew pulled back just enough to look at her, his face streaked with tears. "You're here? How are you here? I thought—"

"My shoot wrapped early," she interrupted, laughing through her tears. "I wanted to surprise you."

Drew didn't hesitate. He leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss so full of love and longing that it made Y/N's knees weak. Around them, the cast erupted in exaggerated groans and laughter.

"Get a room!" Rudy teased, shielding his eyes dramatically.

"Y'all are gonna make me cry," Carlacia joked, still filming the entire moment.

When Drew finally pulled away, his forehead rested against Y/N's, his tears falling freely now. "God, I missed you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I missed you so fucking much."

"I missed you too," Y/N said, her hands cupping his face as she brushed away his tears. "I'm so sorry, Drew. For everything. For the fight, for the silence. I hated it. I hated being apart from you."

"Me too," Drew admitted, his voice cracking again. "I was so scared, Y/N. Scared I was losing you."

"Never," she said firmly. "I was scared too, but I never stopped loving you. Not for a second."

Drew let out a shaky laugh, his arms tightening around her as if he were afraid she might disappear. "Waiting ain't easy," he said softly, his eyes searching hers, "but it's worth it for you. Always."

Y/N felt fresh tears well up as she kissed him again, pouring every ounce of love and reassurance she had into it. When they finally broke apart, the cast was clapping and cheering, much to Drew's embarrassment.

"Alright, alright, show's over," Drew said, his cheeks flushed as he waved them off. But he couldn't stop smiling, and his hand never left Y/N's.

Carlacia walked up, showing them the video she had taken. "You two are gonna want this later. It's a tearjerker."

Drew chuckled, pulling Y/N closer. "Thanks, Laci."

As the cast gave them some space, Drew turned to Y/N, his eyes still glistening. "You're really here," he said again, as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"I'm here," she confirmed, her smile soft. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Drew's expression softened, his love for her radiating in his gaze. "Good. Because I don't ever want to do this without you again."

They spent the rest of the day glued to each other, catching up, apologising, and soaking in every second of finally being together again.

For the first time in six months, everything felt right.

(divider by @kodaswrld !!)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

this was such an adorable one to write :’) i love writing hurt/comfort, it’s just my absolute fave genre of ff !! i really hope you enjoy this @xoxosblogsblog <3

[traumadumpwriter]

JJ Maybank X Reader ~ Relapse and a Half

My first OBX fic. I hope y’all like it.

Summary: The Pogues feel betrayed by the readers sudden relapse into hard drugs, but they’re unable to be angry at her for too long as something terrible leaves her needing their support more than ever.

Trigger warning for: drugs (obviously), guns, sexual assault, violence

Part two

Part One:

You'd been on the edge for a while now. The relapse should've been seen from a mile off. Your uncharacteristic quietness, the way you'd get lost in your thoughts, the distant look in your eyes. Everyone could tell that something was up, but even when they questioned you about it you had no real answers to give - uncertain yourself of what was making you feel so withdrawn.

When you'd first moved to OBX with your busy mum, you'd instantly found a group of friends - a really good group of friends - the Pogues. And they'd been quick to suss out that you were hiding things - particularly JJ. You were practically never sober, for starters, and though he wasn't either, you had a way of taking it to the next level. This was fun most of the time, but sometimes it got to a level that was concerning - even to the most problematic Pogue on the island. Whenever he'd pushed you for answers, trying to figure out what exactly you were self medicating for, you got extremely annoyed and so he never really got a straight answer. You couldn't bare to be so vulnerable with anyone - let alone the boy you'd started to develop feelings for - so you remained somewhat of a mystery.

Sure, there had been nights when you'd shared a bed - both of you very drunk. You'd convince yourself that maybe JJ liked you, maybe the sex meant more to him than just sex, but then when he'd continue to treat you like just a friend the morning after, your hopes would be crushed. It’s not like you ever gave him any reason to think that the sex was anything other than casual, but that was because you didn’t want him to be able to reject you. And besides, could he not tell that you wanted more? Kiera could and she wasn’t even in the bedroom.

Then the overdose happened. The Pogue's had suspected that you'd been taking something other than just alcohol for a while. The night that you'd almost died at the Chateau their suspicions became a painful fact. You'd taken a few too many pills - benzodiazepines to be exact - and though you'd known that you were reaching a point of no return, after hearing all about the gorgeous touron that JJ had been obsessed with, you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

That night had been awful for everyone, and you'd ended up tearfully promising that you would get clean after that, unable to bear the hurt on the Pogue's faces. So you'd been almost a year clean now, blossoming into a new person that the Pogue's liked even more than the old you. Yours and JJ's relationship remained just as complicated though - still having the occasional hookup but largely seeming as if you were just friends. Now that you weren't on pills and you could actually fully remember the sex, it hurt even more in the morning after. Still, you continued, desperate to feel wanted even if it was just for a night.

You hadn't realised how much this routine was actually bothering you until in a night similar to the one you'd overdosed on, JJ had been making out with another gorgeous touron.

*Your POV*

I'd watched jealously from across the party, ignoring the sound of Kie in my ear telling me that "I was much prettier than that touron."

I appreciated the sentiment, but I knew it was a lie, and so in a split second decision, I told Kie that I was going to go home. "I'm going to have an early one." I said, knowing it was a lie. "I'll see you tomorrow."

In that split second decision, I'd decided that all of my progress didn't matter if I still felt this worthless. What was the point in being clean if it meant that I wanted to die? JJ's insistence had been one of the things that had motivated me to stay away from the pills, but he hadn't been interested in me for a while now. He hadn't even asked me for a fuck. Had he grown bored of me? Or maybe I had gotten uglier without realising it. Maybe I had put on some weight or he didn't like my haircut. Maybe he’d developed feelings for a different girl - a better girl.

Kie nodded worriedly, clearly not sure whether to believe me or not. I hadn't even directly confessed to her that I liked JJ, she was just the only one in the group who wasn't too stupid to see it.

"Okay. Be safe." She smiled, pulling me into a hug, and though I felt bad, I still hopped on my bike and headed straight to Barry's as soon as the coast was clear.

Kie would be devastated if she'd known where I was actually going. So would John B, and Pope, and maybe even JJ, but they would forgive me quicker than her. At least, I thought that they would.

Blurred memories of the night I'd overdosed filled my mind; the sound of shouting, someone's fingers down my throat, a muffled sob, flashing lights. A shiver of shame ran down my spine as I struggled to push the images from my mind.

The ride to Barry's was short, though it felt like a lifetime as all the things I hated about myself bounced around in my head like a torturous broken record. Of course JJ didn't want to be with me. I wasn't beautiful enough. I wasn't cool enough. I wasn't good enough. I would just continue to be his slutty friend that he could stick it in whenever it was convenient for him, and he didn't even seem to want that anymore. The thought made me even more ashamed, remembering all the times I'd let him fuck me, hoping that he'd found me beautiful, thinking that maybe he liked me, just to realise in the morning that I was easy to him.

Yet I knew, that if he were to approach me in that moment and ask for a fuck, I wouldn't say no. I wanted to be wanted so badly, even if it was just for a fleeting moment, and the feeling was unbearable. It ate me up inside, making my chest tight and my eyes water. I was quick to blink any dampness away from my eyes though, focused instead on the high that I would soon have - the comfortable numbness that it would bring me. My clean streak meant nothing, a stupid concept when compared to the internal anguish I felt. From my low self esteem to my repressed trauma, I had no fight left in the battle to stay clean. Sure, the Pogue's would be upset if they found out, but I wouldn't let them find out. I would keep it low-key, unlike I did before.

When I knocked on Barry's door, I was relieved that he was the one to answer and the house was seemingly empty, meaning I only had to speak to him. His friends were annoying, and though I didn't particularly like Barry, I found him funny sometimes.

"Well shit, Y/N. Been a while." He grinned.

"Yeahh. Well I'm back." I said with a mock smile.

"Come inside."

The transaction had soon been completed; a pot of pills in my hand and some cash in Barry's. I leant back into the sofa and took one immediately, swallowing it down with a beer handed to me by him.

"Bad night?" He questioned with an amused scoff.

"Something like that." I answered. "How about you? Place ain't usually this empty on a Friday." 

"Want my own company sometimes. That a crime?"

"No. Just strange is all." I murmured, taking another swig from the beer.

Paired with my already drunkenness, the feeling of the pill was starting to hit - hard and strong - and I felt my body slump comfortably into the sofa. My head felt light whilst the rest of my body felt heavy, creating a strange, cosy sensation. It was a feeling I'd missed.

"Well what happened with you, party princess?" He scoffed, cracking open a beer for himself.

I let out a light chuckle at the question, now feeling as if it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

"Dumb shit."

"You looked pretty upset when I opened the door. Boyfriend troubles?"

I raised my eyebrows in mock offence.

"Why would I have a boyfriend?" I questioned with a laugh "Who'd you hear that from?"

Barry laughed too.

"Cus a girl like you - you're pretty. I'm surprised some Kook hasn't swiped you up."

I snorted at that and rolled my eyes.

"Well thanks I guess."

I thought about having sex with Barry in that moment, just to hear him call me pretty again. But I decided against it, slightly sickened by the idea, and pulled myself off the sofa.

"I should go, see you around?"

"You sure you can ride that thing safely?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." I chuckled before heading out the door and throwing myself back onto my bike.

The ride home was perilous, and though I did almost crash a few times, my body went into autopilot and I was soon safely in my bed, mind too numb to pick myself apart for the first night in a while.

For the next week I was able to keep the pill-taking to a minimum, only popping two a day at most. I only did it to make the thoughts stop - to bring on the comfortable numbness so that I could actually bare to be awake. So that I could actually bare to be around my friends.

I'd always managed to keep my feelings for JJ locked up and manageable, but for some reason seeing him with that touron had bothered me in ways I hadn't been bothered before. Perhaps it was because she was so gorgeous, or maybe it was how pleased JJ looked to have pulled her. Either way, it just reinforced to me how worthless I was. He brought her up one day at the Chateau and it instantly made me feel hot with annoyance.

"That touron from the other night just texted me, should I go there again?" He said with a proud smirk, looking around the room.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the half smoked blunt from the ashtray, relighting it and sucking on it in hopes that it would make my jealousy fade.

"Didn't you steal like a hundred dollars from her purse?" Pope scoffed, eyes focused on the television. Adventure Time was playing with the volume on low, and both Pope and Kie seemed more interested in it than the conversation that JJ and John B had been having. I'd been drifting lazily between the two, too high to properly contribute to anything, but now JJ had my full attention.

"Yeah. Obviously didn't notice though. Girl had too much cash for her own good." He mused, eyes on his phone screen. "Ooh! And guess what she just sent me."

"Tit pic?" John B asked, a grin crawling onto his lips.

"Tit pic." JJ confirmed, chucking his phone over to John B.

"Nice." He chuckled, looking at the phone before chucking it back to JJ.

"You guys are disgusting." Kie scoffed. "I mean like really JJ? Did that girl send you that picture for you to show your friend? You have no respect for women sometimes."

"I respect women very much, actually Kie. I respect you and Y/N. I respect your mums and Pope's mum. I just don't respect easy, spoiled touron's like her." He said defensively, and I loudly scoffed at that. He didn't respect me.

"What? You think I don't respect women too?" He asked me with furrowed brows, crossing his arms.

He was sat across the room from me; myself, Kie and Pope spread out across the sofa whilst him and John B sat in chairs. I looked him up and down, pleased that there was no lump in my throat to swallow, no butterflies in my stomach to squash and no loving gaze to hide.

“Sure, you really respect women JJ. Whatever you say.”

He looked surprised by that response, probably expecting me to get defensive, then continued on a rant about how he wasn’t misogynistic. Kie argued with him for a little bit, and John B and Pope eventually joined in too. Usually I also would’ve joined, just for the amusement of it all, but no words came to my mind. Instead I just watched, chuckling at the occasional insult being thrown and smoking my blunt.

Two weeks later and I’d upped the dose to at least four pills a day. The thoughts had gotten harder to crush, growing a tolerance. Much to my relief though, none of the Pogue’s seemed to suspect anything.

It was a hot day and we’d decided to go swimming, using the inner ring of a tire as a floaty - which we all fought over.

“I stole the tire, so I should get it!” JJ proclaimed, and though he was right, I wanted the ring.

“Okay well if you’re not a woman hater, prove it by letting me and Kie have the ring!” I grinned.

“Yeah! Prove it!” Kie added, high-fiving me.

JJ groaned and rolled his eyes, but eventually gave in with a slight smirk to me.

“Okay fine - but we’re sharing it!”

I giggled at his childish nature, feeling the butterflies rise up in my stomach that I’d been managing so well to suppress. The second that I realised what I was feeling, I knew that I needed to take another pill.

“I’m gonna go pee. Don’t wait for me.” I said, heading back indoors.

Once I was in the bathroom, I dug through my bag to find the orange pot, irritated when I realised that I didn’t have a lot left. I’d have to go back to Barry’s soon. That was annoying. I swallowed one of the pills with some water from the sink and looked at myself in the mirror before heading back out. I looked tired and unattractive and I sighed at that, thinking of how good the girl that JJ had been dancing with at the boneyard this week looked.

I reached into the fridge and took myself out a beer, cracking it open and downing half of it before stepping out of the kitchen. I didn’t expect to see JJ stood on the porch waiting for me, a slight furrow to his brow. I purposely hadn’t been alone with him in weeks and it sent a pang of anxiety into my chest.

“Starting this early? Haven’t seen you do that in a while. You feeling alright?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You just seem.. different.” He was wording himself carefully, I could tell, which was very out of character for him. What could he possibly want from me?

“I’m just tired.” I said with a huff and tried to walk past him.

He suddenly put his hands on my waist, which was exposed in a bikini, holding me still. At the initial contact, I felt electrified, but I was quickly reminded of what I had missed - and the reasons why. I worried that my flesh felt too squishy under his fingers, that there was too much of it, or that the dip of my waist wasn’t defined enough. Compared to that touron I probably felt like a whale.

“What’s going on Y/N? Are you mad at me?” He asked, his eyes wide with concern, but I couldn’t think about his words - only the crippling self hatred his hand on my waist was making me feel.

I stepped backwards so that he was no longer touching me, something that only seemed to deepen the crease between his eyebrows, and blinked a couple of times before I could speak.

“I’m, uh- I’m going to grab a shirt.”

And with that I paced back inside, finishing the beer and pulling one of John B’s oversized vests over my bikini. The pill hadn’t kicked in yet and I could still see JJ stood waiting on the porch so I decided to go into the bathroom and take another. Then I grabbed another beer from the fridge and downed it, relieved when I felt the relaxing effects kick in almost immediately.

“Why are you downing beer? Since when do you do that?” JJ’s voice from behind me made me jump, his face critical.

“I’m just having a good time.” I smiled at him.

“Really? Because you don’t look like you’re having a good time. You look miserable, Y/N.”

Was it that easy to see through my charade? It irritated me that he cared now when he should’ve cared a couple of weeks ago. Now it was too late.

I huffed and shook my head, managing to walk past him this time undisrupted and lead the way to the water.

“I’m fine. Come on, let’s go.”

He didn’t bother me for the inflatable ring at all. In fact, he didn’t speak to me for hours after that. I wasn’t bothered by it though, the mix of booze and benzos that had finally hit making me entirely unfazed by everything. The comfortable numbness that I craved so badly.

I lay floating in the ring for what felt like hours, my eyes closed as I felt the waves move me freely around. The water was so cold compared to the beaming sun, but the two extremes together made me feel more relaxed than I had been in a while. Maybe I had fallen asleep, I wasn’t too sure, but when someone was suddenly directly next to me, interfering with the natural direction of the waves, I jumped up at their presence.

“What are you thinking about?”

It was Kie, her tone lighthearted though her face was concerned.

“Not much. The sound of the water mostly. You?” I answered truthfully.

“Honestly, right now I’m thinking about you.”

“Why? You into me or something?” I teased, not expecting her tone to change to match her face.

“No Y/N I’m serious. What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird ever since that party with the blonde touron.”

Kie was catching on, which was bad. It wouldn’t take her much to figure out what was really happening, so I had to come up with a lie, or maybe not a lie but a distraction.

“Yeah. Okay. I’m sad about JJ… But it doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.” I confessed, relieved when I saw the stress in Kie’s face relax.

“He’s a total idiot. You can do better than him anyway.” She said with exasperation, stroking my hair.

“No I can’t.” I laughed. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter.”

Kie sighed.

“I wish you weren’t so harsh on yourself. If you could see what other people could see you wouldn’t be.”

I smiled at her, feeling appreciation for the girl buzz through me.

“Love ya Kie.”

She smiled too, but it was weaker than usual.

“Love you too… Now give me the floatie.”

When it got dark some hours later we all piled back into the Chateau and put on a movie, squeezing onto the couch. I sat on the edge and much to my displeasure, JJ sat next to me. That displeasure only lasted a second though before it was washed over by a tidal wave of carelessness, and I was able to relax my body against his like he was anyone - not the most problematic Pogue on the island.

The movie went on for a while until JJ shifted positions, wrapping his arm around me and placing his hand on my leg.

This had been a fairly standard position for us, his fingers creeping up my thigh in the darkness of the room and our friends none the wiser. Now it felt different though, and instead of being excited by it I was annoyed. Was I only good enough to touch in secret? Was he touching me now just because I was there and it was something to do? Could he only bare to touch me when he was drunk? I needed to take another pill.

With a wobble, I flicked JJ’s hands from me and pushed myself up, grabbing my handbag and heading to the bathroom. Pope and Kie had passed out on top of each other and John B was too engrossed in the movie to look up. So when I heard a knock on the bathroom door, I knew who it was before it even opened.

“I didn’t say you could come in. I could’ve been taking a shit.” I teased.

JJ’s stoney face didn’t offer a crack of amusement as he stepped closer to me.

“What’s going on with you? It’s like you can’t stand to be around me. Have I done something?”

“No. Everything is fine.” I answered with a fake smile.

He didn’t buy it, becoming visibly annoyed.

“You’re so full of shit Y/N. Don’t try to play dumb with me right now. I know you’re pissed off about something.”

“Why do I have to be pissed off about something?” I said combatively, crossing my arms.

“Because you’re acting like my touch is gonna make you sick or something and you clearly can’t stand to be around me! Is this because of that tit pic I showed John B? I don’t get it. Are you jealous or something? Or do you just think I’m a sexist pig too?”

“My world doesn’t revolve around you. Have you ever considered that I just stopped giving a shit about what you do?”

I usually felt horrible about lying to my friends, but looking at his beautiful face, thinking of how he didn’t want me, the lie came out easily. He clearly didn’t buy it though.

“Oh really? Is that why you don’t want to fuck anymore? Because you stopped giving a shit about me? Yeah right.” He scoffed and I felt my face start to angrily heat up. “What the fuck is going on? Did someone tell you some bullshit about me? Do you have a boyfriend now or something?”

I scoffed right back at him, widening my eyes in disbelief.

“Would that make you jealous? If I had a boyfriend?”

“Do you or do you not?” He demanded with gritted teeth.

I didn’t answer for a moment, enjoying the stressed expression on his usually uncaring face. Did he really care if I had a boyfriend? Surely not in any way that mattered. Just in some stupid male ego way. I sighed at that and uncrossed my arms as I answered.

“Obviously not. Who would want to be with me? Don’t be stupid, JJ. Now what did you come in here for?”

He looked at me incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I didn’t understand why he seemed so stressed for and it was irritating to me.

“For this conversation, right now! What do you think I came in here for?” He said exasperatedly and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know but can you leave? I need to pee.”

“No, I can’t leave until I know what the fuck is going on with you. Jesus! How much have you had to drink?”

Had I been slurring? I couldn’t tell.

“Not enough for this.” I tutted bitterly.

He sucked in his lips and took a deep breath, eyeing me like he was trying to work something out.

“Wait, look at me straight for a second.” He muttered, reaching his hand out to touch my face, angrily repeating himself when I questioned why.

His thumb stroked over my bottom lip and I straightened my back, trying to match his stare but unable to stand completely still. He hadn’t looked at me with such intrigue in a long time, and I was glad I was so high or else I would’ve completely submitted under his blue gaze. His next words instantly shattered any fantasies that could’ve been playing in my head though, instead filling me with unreasonable rage.

“You’re high aren’t you?”

I knew it wasn’t a question. The steely look in JJ’s eyes and his flared nostrils made it abundantly clear that he’d already figured out the answer for himself. But I couldn’t let him think he was right.

“I mean yeah, I’ve smoked a lot today, you have too-”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” He hissed, dropping his hand from my face. “I can’t fucking believe you. This is why you’ve been acting weird. I should’ve known.”

I rolled my eyes and mumbled “You’re overreacting, I’m just drunk” to which he quickly shot back “Oh yeah? Why are your pupils the size of mars then?”

“They’re not.” I felt my footing slip slightly as I lied, and I had to quickly lean against the wall to stop myself from falling.

“And now you’re just lying to my face. Nice one Y/N. How long had you been clean? A year, almost?”

I thought of the hours that he’d spent with me when I’d first gotten sober; looking after me when I was being sick, bringing around food, washing my hair. I’d felt so loved. I’d felt like there was no reason for me to ever pick up a benzo again.

The betrayal in his voice told me that that would never be happening again. With a huff, I picked up my bag from the side and shoved past the blonde, gasping when he grabbed my arm.

“Where are you trying to go now?” He laughed humourlessly.

“Get off me, JJ. I’m going home.”

“What because you’ve been caught out?”

“No. Because you’re being a dick.”

He wouldn’t loosen his grip on my arm despite my desperate pulling and so I started to speak louder, hoping someone would intervene and give me a chance to slip out.

“Get off me!”

“I’m not letting you go.” He said with gritted teeth, tightening his grip. “What have you taken?”

“Get the fuck off me!” I repeated louder, relieved when John B appeared in the doorway.

“What the hell is going on?” He looked between us with a concerned expression and JJ loosened his grip.

“She’s on fucking drugs again, John B.” JJ hissed and though I wanted to argue and try to prove him wrong, I quickly slipped out of the bathroom and paced out of the house, ignoring JJ’s shouts from behind me.

“What the fuck is going on Y/N?”

“Do you just not give a shit about yourself? About your friends?”

“How could you do this? You were clean for so long.”

His words stung, and though I rationally knew he was right, I was too ashamed to feel anything other than anger and embarrassment. The Pogue’s would hate me now, and rightfully so.

I understood why JJ was so annoyed. I’d listened to him seethe about his dad, about how he was an abusive drug addict - but yet, when the blonde came home and he was passed out on the sofa, JJ still always checked if he was breathing. I’d seen the bruises, and met the man who left them, begrudgingly shook his hand and tried to forget what he’d done with them. Was I reminding JJ of that? Was I like his piece of shit father?

In a rush, I picked up my bike and went to get on it but instantly fell over, dropping the bike as I did.

“You’re gonna ride home like this? Seriously?” JJ’s voice came from behind me, loud and aggressive.

I struggled to pick my bike back up, almost falling over it again, and his hands were suddenly on top of mine, holding the handles and stopping me from going. John B was quick behind him.

“Are you really on drugs, Y/N?” John B questioned, eyes wide.

“I’m just drunk.” I hissed, trying to pull the bike out of JJ’s grip.

“Right, she says she’s just drunk, let her go JJ.” John B said harshly but JJ scoffed.

“She’s lying! Look at her! She can’t even walk properly!”

Then he turned to me, his voice suddenly pleading and face full of pain. It caught me off guard and I felt another pang of guilt ripple through my body, tears attempting to escape my eyes but being successfully pushed back by the Xanax.

“What have you taken, Y/N? Please don’t lie to me. I know you’ve taken something.”

I wanted to tell him the truth so bad. The whole truth. I wanted to break down and beg for his forgiveness, to tell him I loved him and that I would get clean again.

But I couldn’t do it.

There was no point.

I’d ruined everything now anyway.

“I’m just drunk. Leave me alone.” I slurred and tried to pull the bike from his grip again.

It didn’t work. I fell backwards onto the ground, landing on my butt with a groan. I laughed at my fall instinctively, forgetting the situation I was in for a second, but when I looked up and saw my friend’s distressed faces my laughing stopped. Even John B looked suspicious now, his eyes snapping from mine to JJ’s. He bent down and pulled me up with ease, though he huffed after he’d done it.

“Y/N, can we look in your bag?”

My heart leapt into my throat and I quickly jumped to defence.

“No way you fucking pervs. Let me go home.”

He turned to JJ with an straight face and both of them exchanged a short look before looking back at me.

That was it. He believed JJ. He knew.

“I’m not letting you ride home. I’ll drive you.”

His voice had been so monotone, so void of any real offering, that it caught me off guard. He was angry. I looked at JJ. He was angry too.

“N-No. I’m fine. I can ride-”

“I’m fucking driving you home, Y/N. Get in the Twinkie.” John B cut me off sharply and I jumped backwards, almost falling again until he caught me.

They both looked so disappointed and I was so ashamed at that point that all I could do was nod, following him silently to the van. JJ said nothing and I didn’t dare look back to see if he was looking, though I felt that I could feel his stare on the back of my head. This was the worst thing that could’ve happened. Why did I have to take it so far? Why did I have to lie to their faces like that?

The short drive back to mine was agonisingly silent, all John B said was “Look after yourself” before I stepped out of the van.

My voice got caught in my throat and all I could force out was “Y-Yeah” before closing the door and stumbling towards my house.

Had I destroyed my friendship with the Pogues? It certainly felt like I had.

[lokisprettygirl]

Right Person, Right Time (Modern Daemon x Female Reader) (18+) (Non Canon Au)

Read chapter 2 here

Chapter 3

Summary : Marco tried to win you back. Daemon kicks up the notch on his Daemonesque behaviour.

Warning: 18+ , Mention of infidelity, death, smut in later chapters, reader has self deprecating attitude, reader is alot shorter than daemon

Next morning you woke up to the faint sound of your alarm ringing in your purse somewhere in the room and the smell of freshly cooked eggs and bacon.

You groaned as you sat up, you had a dream about Marco, a nightmare now that you were up, he was making love to you and then he asked you to marry him. Your heart felt so dead and heavy in that moment that you slumped down and sunken yourself in the softness of the expensive mattress. That reminded you of the fact that you were in Daemon's penthouse, in his bedroom to be precise.

Daemon Targaryen. You had no idea if he was the same man or not but you had never heard of a man with that last name before you heard about him from Rachel, an ex friend of yours that you no longer spoke to because she decided to quit her job of being a part time to bitch to others and took the role of being a full time backstabbing bitch to you. But you remembered the story she had told you about her ex and you remembered her telling you that he was filthy rich.

You finally mustered the courage to get out of the warmth of the bed and walked towards the dresser where he had kept your purse. He didn't have to bring it over here from the couch but he did. Thoughtful or whatever.

As you took out the phone you had messages and calls from your clients, you had worked as a pt for the past decade and it has been going really well for you but since yesterday you had no will or energy to do anything anymore so you messaged your clients and apologized to them that you won't be able to make it today or tomorrow. You just wanted to stare at the ceiling, cry, stare some more- damn he had a great ceiling work done in this room you thought, what was that? Wood false ceiling?

Anyways then you wanted to cry some more.

There were plenty of calls and messages from Marco but you didn't dare to open any of the texts he had sent. What was he going to say? He made a mistake? Or That woman tripped and got underneath him accidentally? Or perhaps She was possessed and he was exorcising her with his huge dick?

You groaned as you threw the phone over the bed and went to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror you cringed at your own reflection, you looked like a hooligan, you remembered looking cute in Marco’s oversized shirts, perhaps if you weren't wearing these god awful shorts you'd look cute in Daemon's shirt– NO

After washing your face you stepped out in the living room and you saw a few people doing the cleaning work, they didn't even raise their heads up to look at you, maybe they were used to seeing random women walking out of his room after his nights of no expectations, no promises.

You did recognise one lady though, you had seen her going up and down the elevator at times so before she could see you and assume that you were one of his ladies, you quickly followed the scent of the bacon. You were expecting to see some chef or cook working there but what you saw was Daemon himself, shirtless with an apron on, cooking as he hummed and whistled to himself, his fluffy hair tamed and slicked back after the shower.

Was he…was he…uhhh was he sort of , kind of .. cute? No he wasn't.

“Staring hours begin from 10 ..it's just 9:30 yet” you snapped out of your thoughts and rolled your eyes as his voice echoed around you.

“Good morning to you too” you said as you crossed your arms tightly around your chest and walked behind the countertop like Gordon Ramsay to inspect whatever he was making.

As he let out a chuckle you looked him in the eye, right in the eye and for a moment he smiled before he went back to his usual smirky self.

“What?” You asked him, shouldn't have asked.

“Nothing.. you look like a daddy.. someone else’s daddy though..not mine”

“Haha, what are you making?”

“You should keep your glasses on all the time”

“Argggh why are you always..never mind” as you turned around to storm out he grabbed your arms and halted you.

“Am I always what?” he asked, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“Sarcastic and mean?” you answered

“So are you”

“Yeah not always” he pursed his lips together as you said that.

“I'm making Eggs and bacon..i hope you're not vegan” he answered your question even though it was a stupid question to begin with.

“No I'm not..”

“Good”

“Good”

As he let go of your arm you walked around the counter and sat down on the stool.

“After eating..i should..go back to my apartment..face the reality. I wouldn't want to impose any further anyways” you said somberly so he gave you a side smile.

“You can do whatever you want darling. Butttt..you're not imposing”

You nodded as he said that. Why were you so afraid of being alone? It wasn't as if you hadn't been single for years before Marco happened. Was it the loss of the relationship? Heartbreak? Cheating? Hopelessness? Or maybe it was all of it but you felt so dependent at the moment. As you felt a surge of panic building in your chest you looked at Daemon and he stared at you for a moment before he turned off the stove and walked towards you.

Your eyes welled up so he placed his hands around your shoulders and turned you to him

“Hey. Look at me, you're alright, okay?”

“Okayyyyy” you mumbled but then tears rolled down your eyes and you couldn't stop sniffling. It was inevitable.

“Cheaters..not worth it. Not worth your tears or your emotions, I know it feels like the end of the world for you right now but it's not, I promise you it's not yeahh?” his voice was gentle but strict at the same time. How old was he? Sometimes he reminded you of those wise old men from the old times.

He didn't wipe your tears or wrap his arms around you like any other man would have in his position but the way he held you, it was enough in that moment, that's what you needed, someone to keep you grounded because you feared you'd sink beneath the ground otherwise.

As you stopped crying he let go of you, nothing worth mentioning happened after, you both ate in tolerable silence and then you put on the dress from yesterday before grabbing your bag from the dresser to go back to your apartment.

“Ummm thanks for.. putting it in the dryer" you said to him as you walked towards the door that would lead you to his lobby . He was lounging on the couch, reading a newspaper.

“No worries..2376”

“What?” You looked at him confused as he mumbled a number.

“The code to the elevator”

You looked at him before it sunk in, the key you needed to get into the elevator. Why was he trusting you with the information? You could come in anytime when he wasn't here and steal stuff, stuff that would pay your next month's rent in one minute. He was lucky you were not a thief.

After saying goodbye you took the elevator down and arrived at your floor, taking a deep breath you sighed as the metal door opened. You had prepared yourself to dive into the loneliness of your apartment but as soon as you got in you saw Marco pacing back and forth in your living room. Ofcourse. He had the spare keys.

“Fucking hell where have you been babygirl” he asked as he stormed towards you and grabbed your arms to pull you inside, he wrapped his arms around you to hug you as tightly as he could, as if he was afraid you'd disappear again. Where was this fear when he was fucking someone else? You stood in his arms motionless, not responding to his hug even though his scent and warmth made you want to bury your face in the crook of his neck and cry.

“Answer me preziosa..where the hell have you been?” He asked you again as he pressed you against the door and cupped your cheeks.

“You have some audacity” you said to him so he sighed, his eyes softened as your own teared up, he could see the anger and hurt in them, his hair was a mess, probably the result of him running his fingers through his hair. Why was he still so gorgeous? It wasn't fair. Infidelity should have turned him into an ugly monster magically.

“I know you are upset-” he said so you chuckled very bitterly in response.

“Understatement..you have broken me..do you even realise that?”

“Ofcourse I do..it hurts me too, i love you..i never wanted to lose you” he rubbed your lips with his thumb as he spoke, you wanted to push him away, gain some agency and have some respect for yourself but you were in love with him and that feeling hadn't disappeared in one night.

“You lost me the moment you fucked someone else”

“Don't say that.. please” he whispered as he kissed your cheek and then kissed the corner of your mouth, before he'd weaken you any further you looked up at him.

“Go..you're free to do whatever you want, you did everything you promised you'd never do to me..if you think I'll forgive you after this you're mistaken” you kept your voice as strong and as affirmative as you could but you failed miserably.

“You're allowed to be upset baby, take your time, hate me, hit me, I won't care, but you'll come back to me I know that.. because you love me, I see it, I feel it” he whispered in your ears, and he used his bedroom voice on you, you should have pushed him away, asked him to fuck off but you didn't. You couldn't.

His hands trailed down as caressed your chest and then lowered them under your dress.

“Marco-”

“I know..I'm sorry, what I have done is unforgivable, but i have missed you and i love you so much babygirl, you know that”

An unwanted gasp escaped your throat as his fingers caressed the inside of your thighs. “That's my girl..”

He whispered again and you placed your head back on the door, you knew where this was going and you had to stop it before you'd never be able to look at yourself in the mirror again.

“Stop touching me” you glared at him so he sighed before he stepped away from you “Get out..”

“Amore..”

“Get out”

You said again as you stepped away from the door and opened it immediately-

“I'll come back baby..we are going to talk” he said as he stormed out, in the hallway he bumped into someone and you heard him cursing something in Italian so you peaked your head out and saw Daemon walking towards your apartment. As he neared you, he glanced at your tear soaked face before he looked at Marco as he disappeared in the elevator. As much as you wanted to be a strong independent woman, in the moment it seemed impossible, you had dreamt of marrying that man and having his babies, having all that taken away from you felt unjust. What had you done to deserve this?

“You left this on my bed” Daemon said as he passed you your phone so you took it from him.

“Thank you..you didn't have to trouble yourself..I'd have come.. eventually” he nodded as you said that.

“Hmmm.. are you alright?”

“I..how do you get alright. I don't know how to do that anymore..i thought my life was finally turning around and..it's all gone now, I'm in a worse position than I was before I met him” you said as you leaned against the door frame so he sighed.

“Take a step back and breathe” he said it as a matter of fact so you chuckled bitterly

“Easy for you to say”

“Perhaps it is but..you had a life before him, shit happens, you can sulk all you want, you're allowed to do so but eventually you'd have to pick yourself up, nobody else is going to do that for you” your eyes welled up again as you crossed your arms and gave him an exaggerated fake smile.

“You're being too wise and realistic”

“You're lucky he didn't die as a good man in your eyes, imagine how hard that would have been to recover from. Count your blessings, you see him for what he is now, a cheating arse”

“Stop making sense”

He chuckled as you said that and you couldn't help but give him a faint smile as well in response. A genuine one this time.

“You uhh ..going to be alright in there?” He asked you hesitantly so you nodded in response, you didn't want him to think you were going to do something awful because of a man.

“Yeah I think I should just..sleep”

“Good. Do that”

“Thank you for….well..god everything” he rolled his eyes at your grateful tone, he then brought his hand forward and ruffled your hair like a pet for an awkward second before he turned around to leave.

You got inside and laid down on your bed to calm down a little, then you cried some more and then you tried to calm down again.

Amidst all the chaos you had forgotten to ask Daemon about Rachel. Was he even the same Daemon? It did not seem appropriate to ask him if he indeed was the same Daemon. You two were barely friends at this point.

Later that evening when the quiet and loneliness caught up with you, you put on a set of warm fluffy pajamas set and decided to go for a walk downstairs, perhaps a little adrenaline would help you counter this rotting sadness you had in your chest.

But It was just your luck that as soon as you entered the elevator you saw Daemon again, he was all dressed up , just like yesterday, and he smelled rich and by that you meant delicious.

“Leaving for work?” you asked him before an awkward silence would fill the cramped space.

“Yeah”

“When do you uhh..when do you return?”

“Whenever I want, I'm the boss” he answered smugly.

“You're so humble..how do you do that?”

“It's innate” you let out a small laughter as he said that but his faded as he watched your eyes crinkling up in that overly adorable fashion. Trouble, you were trouble.

“Where are you off looking all glamourous?” he said as he eyes you from head to toe. Sarcasm didn't go unnoticed.

“Just gonna walk, fresh air, clear my head”

You mumbled softly as you wished him a good day/night, he had to take the elevator to the basement and you got off at the ground floor but just a few steps into the lobby you heard the sound of rain pattering harshly outside the building.

“Great. Just my luck”

You quickly turned around and pressed the elevator button to go back to your lonely apartment, much to your surprise Daemon was still in there.

“Is it raining in the basement too?” You asked jokingly so he smiled.

“I heard it and figured you would be taking a rain check on your walk”

“You see now? This is how it is with me, never get what I want” he shook his head as you said that. So dramatic.

“You want to go for a ride?”

“Umm i…wouldn't want you to get late or anything”

“What part of I'm the boss and can do whatever I want did you not hear or understand?”

“I'd go for the ride”

“Good girl”

Your face flushed as he said that. Did he like spending time with you? You definitely didn't despise it. You knew you were using him as a crutch to kill your loneliness and a part of you recognised the errors of your ways but what you didn't understand was why he was being soooo.. sweet to you, in his own daemon way albeit but he didn't have to be around you at all?

“You have a Porsche?” You asked as he led you towards his car so he chuckled.

“All of that in the back is mine, porsche is my pick of the day”

He pointed towards the full line of cars at the back of the basement and you didn't even know what to say. How rich was he exactly?

You almost felt inferior sitting in his fancy car wearing a stupid pajama set but as he walked around and opened the passenger door for you, you stared at him momentarily before you got in.

And then he did that thing men do with the steering wheel, where they place the palm on the wheel to turn it around, god, you thought only Marco looked sexy when he did that, but watching daemon in action was an awakening of sorts. The forearm veins, strained knuckles, the rings on his long fingers–

You quickly turned your head before he'd catch you staring like he had done this morning.

“Where are we going?” You asked him so he chuckled

“It's raining, we are going for a ride”

“So just long drive”

“It can be long”

You nodded as he said that in a serious gruff voice. Suddenly the energy in the car was tight and.. sexual, but you wanted to blame his forearms and cologne for that.

You had gotten very quiet suddenly so he nudged you with his elbow.

“What's on your mind?” He asked and you let out a deep sigh.

“Just thinking”

“About your boyfriend?”

“Ex boyfriend to be precise and factual”

“Mmmhmmm”

“That woman in his bed, he brought her over to his bedroom where me and him had ..done it countless times, there's a picture of us kissing on his side table, she must have seen it too, do you think she cared to ask who I was?” you asked him so he shook his head in response.

“Some people are not wired that way darling. Sex is just an act for them, they don't think of consequences or who they'd end up hurting”

“Ummm i know you don't do relationships and you just fuck or whatever. But Do you ever get with women who are committed or married even??” you asked him and he actually wasn't expecting that question.

“Not deliberately, there's not much conversation happening before I have them in my bed, but I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone”

“Mmmm okay”

“What did you want to hear?"

“Nothing I like your honesty”

He finally stopped the car near a bridge, it was still raining heavily so he opened his window as he pulled out a cigarette.

“Do you mind?”

“No..”

You were used to being around it, Marco smoked too, and you got a hit once in a while.

“You want one?”

“We can just share” you spoke immediately so he smirked.

“It's just ..I don't like consuming a whole cigarette at once”

“You don't need to explain” you couldn't help but huff as he said that.

As much as you wanted to deny it, a part of you was having a good time, what would you have been doing right now if you weren't with him? Drowning in self pity and tears probably.

As he drove you back to the building you looked at him, pursed your lips and nodded

“I had a decent time, thank you”

“It wasn't a date”

“Do you have to be on a date to have a decent time with the opposite sex?’

“Guess not”

“Oookay now..I'll go back to my sad little apartment and you go do whatever it is that you do at work “ he chuckled as you said that.

You ran inside the building to not get wet again, you had no intention of changing out of your comfortable pyjamas.

As you laid down on your bed you stared at the ceiling and then out of nowhere it hit you, the loneliness and the heartbreak. It's funny because when you were with Daemon he kept you distracted enough that you didn't think about Marco a lot but now in the solitude of your own company all you could think about was him and the life that you wanted to build with him.

You grabbed your phone and opened the messages he had sent you since yesterday and they only saddened you further.

He made a mistake? Breaking your trust was just a mistake?

You remembered going to bed around 9 and it was 2 am, so five hours of you tossing and turning and sleep hadn't come for you..

As you heard your door bell ring you sat up immediately. Was it Marco? Who else would come this late at night? Why was he here anyways? You had nothing to say to him. Or perhaps it was -

“Daemon” you mumbled as you opened the door and he gave you a smile

“Did I wake you?” he asked you so you crossed your arms.

“It's 2 am..”

“Yeah, apologies, I'd go-”

As he turned around to leave you groaned internally and grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Don't go”

He couldn't help but smirk as you said that.

“Get in..don't mind the messiness or do.. who cares” you said as you let go of his arm and moved away from the door to let him in.

Two steps forward and he was towering over you with his giant stature, gods he smelled divine.

Without wasting a second further you got on your tip toes and wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him, you could tell he wasn't expecting it as he didn't move for a moment but then his fingers clutched into your hair and he pulled your head back to stare at you. His jaw clenched and unclenched for a moment, thumb swiped over your lips, eyes lost as if he was fighting an internal battle. Perhaps you shouldn't have kissed him.

And then he latched his lips onto yours. Nevermind.

You knew Marco was a good kisser, he was good, very good but something about the way Daemon held you so .. aggressively and how gently his fingers caressed your scalp in the same breath stirred something in you that you didn't even know existed.. and then you felt bad, awful, you felt as if you were betraying Marco somehow even though he had already crossed that line.

Daemon let go of you as you stopped responding suddenly, he ran his fingers through his hair before he turned around to leave, and you should have said nothing, it was humiliating as it was for you. You should have kept quiet but you wanted to deflect so you opened your mouth and ruined whatever friendship was developing between you two.

“Do you know Rachel Johnson?”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Note : What did he do? Or rachel did to him? Also girl. Shutup

Taglist @unofficialavenger90 @kimberleyneko-blog @m-riaa @anukulee @erebus-et-eigengrau @littledark11 @silhouetteofher @eatyourheartoutmylove @immyowndefender @avalyaaa @madeinmyownmind-blog

[greenerteacups]

I think "the problem of house elves" is really interesting in that it reveals an issue with what I suppose can be broadly categorised as "urban fantasy"?, that is to say fantasy in a modern real world setting, which nonetheless uses magical creature lore. Inevitably, as an author, you're going to purposely or inadvertently draw parallels to real world "stuff" that's ladened with baggage... and it can be really hard to make it work because readers will be raring to pick apart these kinds of analogies.

House elves are a great example of this, in that, there really are creatures called house elves (or brownies) in English folklore and they really do, in the stories, seem to enjoy doing housework and chores in exchange for things like food and shelter (and shouldn't be given clothes or they'll never come back).

However, by initially drawing a parallel to slavery with House Elf labour (a real-world very dark baggage laden issue) and then not having the time to really delve into the history and complexity of her wizard / house elf relations you end up with the narrative seeming a bit confused as to how we should feel about people having house elves as servants / slaves. On one hand, we only see "bad" families having elves, on the other, we're told Molly Weasley would like one, then we're shown that Hogwarts uses them and that they, mostly, want to work for wizards without pay or holiday. People that grew up in the wizarding world seem to view Hermione's concerns with the kind of bemusement I encountered as a vegetarian kid explaining why I didn't want to eat animals to most of the people around me. This says a lot about the way House Elves are viewed there.

House elves are not viewed as being akin to human and therefore do not fit neatly into human parallels. Dobby is presented as an anomaly because, unlike most houseelves, he does not dream of labour and being bound to a particular wizarding family. I think JKR tries to represent this through Hermione's ineffective activism, but it's clumsily done because Dobby's our first and most poignant introduction to House elves and he was being seriously abused without any protections in place. There's also the Black family situation which.... yeah.

I think a couple of paragraphs of explanation from, maybe, Dumbledore outlining, perhaps, the symbiotic magical relationship of wizards and elves, and how the Malfoys / Blacks were somehow unusual in their cruelty and disrespect to this relationship, would've done a lot to smooth at least some of this over.

The issue, I think the books very quietly imply, is actually more aligned, although not perfectly of course, in a real world sense, with animal abuse / humane treatment of animals than with human slavery, as house elves ( as folkloric creatures) crucially do want to do house work in their nature and their treatment by wizards is therefore what needs to be monitored through the introduction of protections (older Hermione will surely be championing these kinds of reforms). Not perfect of course as House Elves are sentient, talking creatures... but they're also not human beings and it does make some kind of sense that they wouldn't have the same values... it's just, slavery being OK sometimes, is really not the sort of message you want to imply through an inadvertent and imprecise parallel.

Just chiming into the house elf convo as I find this issue in fantasy writing endlessly fascinating and as an aspiring fantasy writer myself, quite frightening!

This is so well-put, I almost can't bring myself to add anything to it — really excellent and considered treatment of the ways that the elf relationship was probably intended to read differently than it did in the text. More attention to the elf/brownie legend would have gone a long way for me in fixing my unhappiness with S.P.E.W., because it would have given a canonical basis for thinking Hermione's actually just wrong about this relationship, and that she's somehow missing an important historical context. That's a great point.

Staging elves as an intermediary between humans and animals whose treatment mirrors animal rights conversations is a really smart way of talking about it, too, as it captures the moral dimension of Hermione's quest without making everyone else look abjectly terrible for not supporting it. Staging her as, say, the PETA of the Wizarding World, where everyone thinks she's campaigning to Give Copyright to Monkeys, etc., makes Ron especially seem much more reasonable. I'm going to think about your interpretation a lot in how I write house-elves in the future.

[fox-guardian]

How do each of the zombies behave in the au? Also the fact that Swansea basically killed himself because of Daisuke getting infected is so sad.

Yeah, swansea and daisuke didn't start out in a good spot either. They discovered both their families dead/infected (the dog is fine, just missing) soooo daisuke was all swansea had left so it uh. Hit a little harder <3

I have some thoughts on zombie behavior. Not many but a few.

The infected are still people with (mostly) functioning brains and their own thoughts and feelings. Most of those feelings are fear, pain, and desperation. All of this combined with the chaos of the world's reaction to the infected and how quickly it spread, means that the infected seem a bit. Erratic.

Pain in various areas leads to "odd" movements and mannerisms, lack of speech leads to "odd" sounds, and the desperation leads them to seek out people who can help a little Too intensely.

The infected tend to end up near other if only out of a deep human desire for connection. Sympathy in their pain. When someone uninfected comes by, they approach. Hissing and wheezing air out as loud as possible, attempting to form words with rotted lips and tongues to little avail.

If someone doesn't help, or actively harms, they get upset. They claw and pull, trying to scream or explain. Maybe rob them of supplies their uncoordinated hands could somehow use. Maybe they approach hoping for a headshot, an end to their pain. If they bite, it's not out of hunger, but rather hate. Maybe some want to share their pain with the uninfected. Bring them down with them.

Specifically for the crew though?

Daisuke wants to get back to the truck. He wants to rejoin the group. Get Anya's help for his injuries, tell them about Jimmy's betrayal. See swansea again. He's badly hurt, but he powers through the pain, finds some rollerskates, and Knows What He Must Do. He doesn't know what's come after, but there's no time to think about that. He needs to catch up to the truck.

Swansea had had the idea of either going out completely because fuck everyone else, or maybe joining Daisuke. He wakes up, busted in the middle of the road, and gets his second wish. The desire becomes revenge as they skate onwards. He hopes he has enough function in his rotting hands to take Daisuke's old bat and bash Jimmy's head in.

Anya rots slowly. It burns within her veins. She can't think much beyond walking and hoping that it all ends soon. Then hope arrives on rollerskates and she gets a second wind. Maybe they can still find a cure. If they can do this, maybe there's still time for them. For Curly. She hopes. And she hopes she can still speak when she sees Jimmy again. She's starting planning a speech, you see.

Curly is mostly at the mercy of the others over the course of the story. He doesn't have much desire beyond the pain stopping, and he trusts that Anya will do her best to keep that pain to a minimum. He doesn't move much, as he doesn't have to, staying mostly bedridden. It isn't until shit hits the fan that a new desire forms. Protect the others. He had led the group before his infection, it was his truck they were in, he had a responsibility, and he'd thrown it away with his infection. It's this that causes him to stubbornly attempt to steal the truck while jimmy is outside. Jimmy is the problem, and if they can get away from him, he and Anya will be safe. It doesn't work. After Jimmy kicks out Anya, his thoughts change. He failed. He couldn't protect them, not really. He starts to wonder if it's the infection talking, making him feel more violent than he ever had in his life. Is this when it takes over? Where he finally becomes a monster? He's slumped in the passenger seat. Jimmy is driving. It would be so easy.

[rei-ismyname]

Uncanny X-Men #9 Review

Graymalkin was raided and now the Uncanny team try to get back to normal, or at least what they were doing before Becca and Jubilee got snatched. It looks like Graymalkin is NOT done with them, however.

Larry Trask - not learning his lesson

The issue cold opens with Larry Trask on the sales floor with a former client. The 'Wolfpack' model sentinels are built from stray and unwanted dogs somehow - they're fully robotic with full (if glitchy) AI so I'm not sure if anything biological is left. It doesn't really matter, I suppose. He gives the man a demonstration on a volunteer and they tear the guy to pieces. Switching them off didn't work, they can just switch themselves back on. This isn't going to end well, but 'your eminence' wants four dozen units ASAP.

The Uncanny adults are sitting around a fire, clearly back at Haven. Can't say that seems like a responsible choice for so many reasons, not least because two of them were kidnapped nearby very recently. Logan brings up that the kids have secrets and that he doesn't trust them. Ransom overhears this but not the next part - that 'they don't trust themselves.' They're traumatized children, what do you want from them?

Rogue comes up with a mentor system for reasons, assigning Jubilee to Deathdream and Logan to Ransom. I think they should ask the kids what they want. The Uncanny team have done a pretty terrible job at mentoring, teaching, duty of care, etc, so far and they don't seem to be reflecting on that. They're going entirely off Logan's sense of smell. This doesn't especially feel like the issue after an event in terms of how the characters behave. Calico and Jubilee were jailed, they witnessed horrors and came under psychic attack. They witnessed their leader fight a friend over some really strong feelings. The reader gets a peek at Graymalkin, but these X-Men look suicidally passive.

We check in with the Outliers with a voiceover from Rogue, and most of the points she's raising seem like they could be solved with a conversation. Keeping them safe strikes me as priority number one, but it doesn't come up. 'We got to be the school' Rogue decides, which makes sense considering the only other school is too dangerous.

Logan, no shit, tells Rogue she makes a fine leader. Does she? Comes across as an informed attribute to me, or maybe Logan is joking. He says that 'Chuck and Scott would be proud' which is particularly jarring. Not because of greater history but the previous issues in this run. Rogue lampshades it, but without any follow up it feels like the book is just telling me to think less. Jubilee and Deathdream make friends, which is nice? In the abstract it is but we haven't learnt much about where either is at or what they want.

Jitter comes across Calico secretly practicing ballet and offers to be the partner she's never had. It's a sweet moment between just the two of them and we learn more about their dynamic. It seems like they don't actually know each other that well but they're learning more. Calico continues to be the most interesting Outlier, if for no other reason than we've learnt the most about her. She had an abusive upbringing and is slowly figuring out an identity away from family.

Jitter we know less about, but I think we're being shown she's into girls. Maybe. It would be easier to get a handle on that if we knew more about her I think.

Meanwhile, Ransom is outta here, and it seems Logan is trying to offer mentorship. He comes around pretty quickly with Logan telling him he is wanted here. I'd guess he can believe their home is a prison now seeing as he was there with you. Ransom's cousin is Roberto Da Costa AKA Sunspot - New Mutant, hero, and billionaire. That is unexpected and I'm not sure what to do with it tbh. I feel like The Outliers would be safer with him but who knows what's going on there?

Not sure who originated this idea (I assume Rogue) but the kids are going on a shopping trip with Logan and Jubilee. The Graymalkin scientists deploying the Wolfpack show why that might be a bad idea. Did they forget that Calico and Jubilee got kidnapped while out and about? It feels like they did and as such it feels like we've done this already. Very recently. Maybe it'll turn out better.

The two adults decide NOT to watch them and they immediately get attacked by The Wolfpack. Only Calico is holding her own and Deathdream is a liability here, as his powers do nothing to robots.

Even Warden Ellis thinks this is a bad idea, and Trask doesn't have a good explanation. This dynamic might mean something to you if you're reading Sentinels, but the outline is enough here I guess. Ellis can't control her subordinates who are siccing killer robots on children. Not that different to kidnapping, beating and imprisoning them but I guess you have to draw the line somewhere. Looks like we're not done with Ellis at all.

All but Deathdream managed to escape at least and seem to be working together pretty well. Ransom headbutting a metal dog seems like it would hurt him a lot and do little damage, but he seems fine. They even rescue some civilians. The fill-in artist is particularly noticeable with the close-up of Jitter's face here, and as much as I enjoy the regular artist the action looks decent.

We're left on a cliffhanger of the other Outliers rushing to see if Deathdream is okay, and he looks very dead, alas. His powers are vaguely defined, but I don't think this death is going to stick. Either way it's traumatizing as hell for the kids, hopefully a black eye for Graymalkin, but most of all it paints the X-Men as seriously unfit caretakers of Children. I suspect Deathdream will be fine and Logan/Jubilee will be the cavalry next issue, but it's really not a good look. If it was the first time there'd be some leeway but it's not - they really should have learnt from the kidnappings 3 issues ago. Maybe Rogue shouldn't polish that 'fine leader' trophy just yet.

This issue was entertaining enough if I don't think about it too hard. The characters themselves aren't seriously engaging with their mistakes or recent happenings and it really hurts the book's identity. I don't know what Uncanny X-Men is trying to do or say and here at issue #9 I don't think it does either. The beats are there - some conflict, some resolution, some action - but the connective tissue between issues is not. I think this is the book if you want some X-Men hits remixed but nothing more. That's okay, but it's bound to disappoint long-term invested readers. I think it's a shame that unambitious, but there's other books for that.

If you weren't sold before this, issue #9 won't change your mind. If you were enjoying it that'll probably continue.

[plushie-lovey]

Alright so. I'm getting into junk journaling. At least, I'm going to try to! I have a plan to start myself off with 2, one for personal/random shit so I don't feel so confined, and one focused on my plushies!! Not every one of my plushies will get a page but I will dedicate a page to whoever inspires me in a particular moment. I may not share every page right away. But if I fill in an entire journal I will try to show the finished results of what I created! I will also be doing this at my leisure because this new hobby is an outlet for my creatively and mainly my emotions. Shout out to @ cafe-mouse for inspiring me

[amelikos]

I wonder how much Liko told the others after the events of HZ065..

We know she told them about the Rakurium and Spinel using it during the episode itself, but I wonder if she told them about being stuck in a cave with Amethio later on or if she just mentioned it in passing.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition

Who would have thought? 🤭

Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin

Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive

☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice. 

☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.

☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.

☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James. 

☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.

🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success

☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.

☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.

☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.

[prismatica-the-strange]

Nope, I'm still crying

[problemswithbooks]

Not going to lie it's a little weird to see people who are huge fans of the Targaryens try and down play the bad stuff they did.

Like when they say they didn't colonize Westeros they just conquered it. As if that's any better.

By definition, no the Targaryens didn't colonize Westeros, but that's less because they were so much better than the First Men or Andals and more because they simply couldn't. The Valyrians did colonize the places they conquered in Essos, but by the time Aegon crowned himself King of Westeros all but his family remained of the pure blooded Valyrians.

They couldn't colonize in the traditional sense of the word because there were only a handful of them left--not a large scale population that could come and take over all the lands and Houses of Westeros.

But that doesn't mean conquest is better. It's still subjugating and controlling people with military force.

It's also weird when they argue that Westeros did better under the Targaryens so actually the conquest was good. Did Westeros have some really despicable policies or constant fighting, sure, but a country--or a batch of countries, having bad morals or infighting doesn't give someone else the right to take them over and instill themselves as King. That is the kind of excuse the US uses all the time and every thinks that's pretty shit.

But the prophecy? What about that?

Well, it's honestly kind of stupid, or in the very least makes Aegon and any of his family that heard it look stupid. If he legitimately had a dream of the world ending unless one of his family had their ass on a united Westeros throne it was brain-dead not to flaunt that like no tomorrow. In world where there's magic and dragons, where the Targaryens already saved themselves from the Doom of Valyria a hundred years prior there would be no reason for Westeros to believe it.

I'm sure some of the Lords would have still resisted regardless, but it still would have made it much easier for the Targaryens over all to rule if the entire country was under the impression they needed to be in charge to save the world. Heck, it also might have put a damper on some of the later infighting like the Dance if everyone had known. Could it have caused some problems, sure, but concealing from everyone but the heir is dimwitted simply because they could easily be killed off before passing it on.

But even if Aegon thought he needed to be King of Westeros to save the world that doesn't mean his conquest was good. If that was the case the Andals taking over Westeros from the First Men was justified to because they believed it was their promised land. Or were desperate to escape slavery under the Valyrians. But of course neither of those is a good excuse to subjugate an entire continent.

Another talking point is to point out that the real colonizers are the First Men and Andals not the Targaryens. As I said before that doesn't quite hold up because it's very likely given how they took over Essos that had more than a handful of Valyrians survived the doom they would have colonized Westeros or at least continued to colonize Essos.

On top of that the First Men colonized Westeros somewhere between 8,000 to 12,000 years ago, and eventually made peace with the Children of the Forest, worshiping their Gods, learning from them and all of them coming together to build the Wall. The Andals came to Westeros, at the earliest 2,000 years ago and colonized both the First Men and the Children of the Forest.

Meanwhile, by the time of Aegon's conquest of Westeros the Valyrians had only been gone a hundred years. Aegon was far more closely related to colonizers then the ancestors of the First Men and Andals that lived in Westeros when he conquered it. So to act as if it's only the Westerosi that have the blood of colonizers in their veins just isn't true. The Targaryens do to and it's much more recent.

And this isn't me saying the Targaryens are evil. The First Men and the Andals have some really awful stuff in their history, and even during the main books do some horrendous stuff. No one in this book series or the TV shows it's based on are entirely clean of fault or even unforgivable stuff like genocide, slavery or colonization.

My point isn't that the Targs are so much worse then the rest of the Houses in Westeros. Just like every other House they have good and bad members. And even the good ones have done terrible things while the worst of the worst sometimes do very very heroic things.

I don't like the argument that simply by being a Targaryen a character is bad or doomed or should fail. But that doesn't mean pretending the House is actually perfect and if they did something bad, like conquering a country and subjugating it's people under a Ruler they didn't want it's fine, plus those people actually deserved it because 2,000 years ago they did evil stuff themselves.