#or maybe not consciously
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hi people who have seen the movie, maybe read the prequel book, do you think bruce would have ever made any attempt on his own life
#i think he would have done anything but try and actually kill himself#he proclaims himself to be pretty fearless so i don't think it would have scared him#or maybe not consciously#but#i'm imagining this would be in his teenage years too at his most vulnerable#going through doctors and medications and words that people don't think he understands#i'm sure the thought would have crossed his mind constantly. it's not like he really had any intention of taking over the company#i doubt he ever opened up to anyone much at all unless he was forced#he didn't have friends and went out of his way to avoid socializing#and the summer he was 17 he would actively seek out danger ie streetracing#i don't know where i was going. i don't think he would have but he probably would have felt it pulling at him#a constant ache ever since the alleyway ever since his family moved into the tower#clinging on for dear life but not in any way that really did anything to help#he was living just because he was supposed to#because that's what you do even if your parents are dead and your home is not a home#i can't splice this down for my notes so i have to put it here. that's all#suicide 182172737#does anybody need that tagged. i'll assume maybe somebody does
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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YOU'VE GOTTA LET IT GLOW ?!
YOU'VE GOTTA LET IT SHINE ?!
(available as stickers on shop)
#I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEY'RE SCRAPPING THIS ENTIRE GEN#IM DOING A VIDEO ON MY “REWRITE” OR “AU” OR WHATEVER IT IS#very proud of how these came out...ive relearned how to draw ponies#also made my izzy HUGE like she could PUMMEL HITCH if she wasn't consciously nice#all inspo'ed in some way by their concept art...expect maybe pipp and zipp?? these took like over a year to finalize so i dont remember#one thing that mildly iffed me about their designs was...WHY DO ALL OF THEM EXPECT FOR IZZY AND MISTY HAVE THE SAME TAIL???#shumm's art#mlp#mlp g5#mlp make your mark#mlp tell your tale#sunny starscout#izzy moonbow#zipp storm#zephyrina storm#misty brightdawn#hitch trailblazer#pipp petals#sprout cloverleaf#mlp a new generation#artists on tumblr#my little pony#medibang paint#digital art#mlp g5 redesigns#mlp mym#mlp ang#mlp tyt
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Can you imagine how fucking angry Neil was when he heard Jean say “So Drake’s not a biter then.”
Because I can.
In that one sentence Neil learned 2 things.
1) That Jean was sexually assaulted
2) What he (Jean) went through was something akin to what Andrew went through with Drake.
I also think that reminded him of everything (that he knows) Drake did to Andrew. I think it reminded him of the time when Drake ambushed him and was paid by Riko to do so. I think it reminded Neil that both of those bastards got of way too fucking easily.
I think Neil put a hit on Grayson not only for Jean, but also for Andrew, Kevin, himself and anyone else who was hurt by Riko, Grayson and Drake (that last one might be a stretch but you get my point).
I think Neil felt so angry and helpless at that point and when he was presented with an opportunity to properly get rid of someone’s abuser, he took it.
#do you think after that moment Neil starts thinking maybe he was sexually assaulted during his time at the nest#I do#subconsciously if not consciously#I think he worries about it at least#if he tells Andrew about what Jean said and his situation with Grayson then Andrew would definitely start thinking Neil might have been#aftg#all for the game#nora sakavic#the sunshine court#aftg thoughts#neil josten#jean moreau#andrew minyard
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"A Jester can mock, and the King cannot fight
For the gift of free thought is the jester's one right."
A sweet golden prince who lived up in the sky,
Listened to his families' terrible fights,
The ceiling would rumble, the tile would shake,
The throne room was fragile, and soon it would break.
He'd attempt to speak, but it never went right,
His father would rage, and he'd lose every fight,
As decades passed by, it soon became clear,
The King saw his son as a monster to fear.
The Prince quickly followed every command,
Only to be trapped by his father's cruel hand,
Years of destruction with no end in sight,
This war would not end with a large act of might.
And so the Prince stopped fighting fire with fire,
And instead he pulled out his golden stringed lyre,
Since he had no respect, he would leave the King's cage,
And swap out the throne room for a shining stage.
He taunted with wit and he giggled with guile,
And even his sorrow he shared with a smile,
His father's gaze lessened, his temper was tame,
As his once "Golden Prince" treated life like a game.
The centuries passed and the mirth never ceased,
The sun never set on the first son of Greece,
He danced for his siblings and bit down his pain,
Since each peal of laughter meant there'd be less rain.
There's only one role for which there are no rules,
So who is the jester, and who is the fool?
#trials of apollo#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#apollart#sunny speaks#pulled out everything I remembered from 11th Grade Lit for this poem hopefully it's not shit#I wanted to play on the idea that has been spoken about in some of my fave ToA meta essays#That being that Apollo consciously (or sub-consciously) makes himself seem weaker and less competent to avoid his father's wrath#it is a very interesting part of his character to me I love exploring it#and you know what maybe I also just wanted to draw Apollo in a jester outfit#y'all should know by now that 90% of my motivation is dressing Apollo/Lester up like a Ken Doll#haha#Lester the Jester#just thought of that#also peep my reference to the “my blorbo was born alongside the birth of Ancient Greece” hc that I posted like over a year ago#I just realized I rhymed right and fight twice in the poem GODDAMMIT#Guys I'm a horrible poet Apollo's gonna smite me :'(
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At some point, Post-Crisis comics Alfred isn't a person with independent will. He's the butler. His butler suit is pretty much his skin. He's like a Pokémon, and his Pokémon species is Butler. He goes back into the Poké Ball when Bruce tells him to. He likes it that way. He is not an adult person, and he can't be held to the standards of one. It's not in his function to contradict. Julia was erased, because this Alfred doesn't fuck. (Alfred wasn't always like this; I want to blame Chuck Dixon, but it's probably just a reflex instead of something I mean to argue. 🤔)
Jason never bothers to orchestrate any kind of Red Hood torture-gauntlet for Alfred, not even a cute mini-course scaled down for an old man. The only acknowledgment that Jason gives Alfred is to mail him that first-edition book. I interpret this as the equivalent of a young adult returning to his childhood home and gifting an apple to the family pony. It's a cute little gesture. 🤷♀️ Alfred is one of Jason's father's many marvelous possessions, one that Jason fondly remembers for producing delicious pot roast dinners and chocolate cake.
Okay, being a slightly less facetious jackass for a minute—I don't really subscribe to the idea that Jason would feel so betrayed by Alfred siding with Bruce against him. I'm pretty neutral on that. I lean toward the idea that Jason never knew an Alfred that wouldn't side with Bruce, and so Jason has never expected anything different from him.
Would Jason feel upset that the Wayne Estate will never be home to him again? Maybe. He could. Would he feel betrayed by the trees and the grass and the marble and the polished brass doorknobs for belonging to the Wayne family? Well. 🤷♀️
#Yeah tbh a trained electrically charged rodent that only says ''Pika'' has more will and independence.#Look. I'm just saying things. I'm not super attached to this.#jason todd#alfred pennyworth agnostic#What little class consciousness Jason may or may not have—it doesn't extend to Alfred as Bruce's servant.#I'm too amused by the idea that Jason has overwhelmingly bought into the way Bruce understands the world#even when he really reasonably shouldn't.#''But Leslie was into Alfred.'' Leslie has terrible taste. It's her one and only flaw.#The last question isn't rhetorical. Maybe he could feel betrayed by grass. Feelings.#rich people bs#class traitor jason todd#(not re:alfred just vaguely in general)
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A lot of cis people may not want to hear this, but here goes:
You are going to have more in common with trans people who have a similar gender identity to you than you think. Trans people are reliable narrators of their own experiences, and whether you like it or not, we will have similar or even identical experiences to yours. Cis people don't have a monopoly over their gender or the experiences people have as a result of their gender.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#ally advice#like in my experience i have had way more in common with cis men than cis women#and of course it is always more complicated than what a tumblr post can provide. but by and large i have noticed this trend#cis people like to pretend that trans people are a seperate species to them when that can't be further from the truth#cis people don't like to think that their bodies/experiences/lives could be in any way shape or form similar to a trans person's#but they're wrong in that case. there are so many of us with baried experiences. because we are PEOPLE#i feel like i am screaming my personhood into the void sometimes so i hope maybe this reaches somebody#as horrifying as it is (/s) i am as much a person as i am a man#and as horrifying as it is (/s) other trans people are as much their genders as they are PEOPLE#enjoy me posting my stream of consciousness then going back to play skyrim and fo:nv until i pass out or whatever i feel like lol<3
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S1 and s2 (but especially s1) feel so intimate and grounded and personal. I am watching these character’s lives.
But s3 and s4 (ESPECIALLY s3) feels fake and removed. I’m watching a tv show.
#and yeah yeah i know i know it IS a tv show and maybe im giving the earlier seasons too much credit#but man :/ you can really feel the switch and its rough to watch sometimes#i think it comes down to colors + cinematography + production design a lot of things#also i think ive stated this before and sorry to repeat myself#but my blog is just a stream of consciousness tbh i just say whatever im feeling atm#and right now its relevant!#robin rambles#stranger things
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I really enjoyed Batman: Caped Crusader. I was worried (like everyone else) that Bruce Timm would push his Bruce/Barbara obsession, but they barely interact when Bruce is out of costume, and he’s all business as Batman. Barbara is (presumably) about the same age as Bruce in this adaptation, she’s a young public defender, who still lives at home with her dad. Commissioner Gordon is mentioned to have 30 years on the Gotham police force at one point. And the series is loosely based on Batman: Year One by Frank Miller, and has Matt Reeves as a producer. It’s definitely an interpretation of the early years of Batman.
The setting is vaguely and aesthetically set in the 1940s, mirroring the original Batman and riffing on DC comic stories and character interpretations from that time. Clayface’s story and appearance is based on the original interpretation of the character, which I really enjoyed - especially as someone’s who’s read the first couple years of the original Detective Comics/Batman stories. (There’s also a lot of great references to the Adam West show, and a couple of its themes are reimagined for this more noir story.)
I could see the series setting up something between Bruce and Barbara potentially, but their interactions are really blink-and-you’ll-miss-it. There’s a moment where Bruce’s is climbing back onto the Iceberg Lounge yacht and he uses a pick up line on her, which she scoffs at, then he proceeds to use the line on two other young women. There’s another moment that you could say is pre-flirting, or is at least setting up a foundation to further a relationship between the two. Where Barbara makes a comment about Batman letting himself into her office unannounced whenever he feels like it, and she tells him she needs a way to contact him, and he gives her the Batphone number. At this point I think you could make more of an argument for a Harleen/Barbara pairing than her and Bruce.
I think the characters would both individually need a lot more development to be in a romantic relationship. I’ll say this even though I know it will be an unpopular opinion: in this interpretation I wouldn’t mind putting Bruce and Barbara together. I know that’s practically sacrilege coming from someone who’s favourite character is Oracle but hear me out.
My main issues with Bruce and Barbara together (especially when it comes to Timm’s work) is the age difference. It’s often debated but Barbara in most iterations (including current comic canon) is around the same age as Dick, usually a couple of years older, 2-3 at most. Bruce is depicted as having at least 15 years on her, if not more. And most stories that have Bruce and Barbara together also fixate on her being batgirl. Then there’s the tendency to make a Nightwing-Batgirl-Batman love triangle which I don’t want to get into but I hate completely.
None of that is happening here. Barbara has her own storylines that are just as prominent as Bruce and Harvey’s. She’s an adult with agency and flaws and is just as fleshed out as any of the other characters are. I wouldn’t be surprised if the show takes a season or two to develop a romantic relationship between the two of them. Bruce is completely focused on being Batman and sees Bruce Wayne as a persona. He’s callous with peoples feelings (Harvey, notably) and is shown to struggle with smaller acts of empathy, opening himself up to people, and honestly, social skills. The last of which doesnt doesn’t affect him too negatively because he’s a rich and well known man in Gotham.
Compared to the Bruce Wayne of BTAS it was a smart choice to show a Bruce/Batman who struggles with people and emotions. It reminded me a lot of Reeves’ the Batman. In wider Batman media you usually see two types of depictions: a compassionate Batman (which is where I would place BTAS) or a more emotionless, be-stoic-and-punch-the-bad-guys-and-look-badass version that is usually just a male power fantasy.
This version of Batman sets up the foundation for a storyline that is relatively unexplored, and I’m sure they’re going to explore it more in the next season (which has already been greenlit).
I was surprised at the lack of adult themes in the show, it was marketed for an adult audience but could easily fit into a PG13 rating, but that was probably on purpose. I was impressed they managed to have so many strong, fleshed out storylines in only 10, 30 minute episodes. But I wouldn’t expect anything less of Bruce Timm, or some of the other names I recognized attached to the project in various ways (Greg Rucka, JJ Abrams, Matt Reeves, and Ed Brubaker).
While there are a lot of critiques of Timm I agree with, I generally enjoy his work and the care he puts into it. I love Greg Rucka and was really excited to see that he wrote the episode that was more Renee Montoya centric. And while I have my issues with Ed Brubaker, I do enjoy his work.
While the series is visually and technologically based around the 1940s, the politics are more modern. Harleen asks Renee out on a date and she talks about it with Barbara openly. I saw one review call the show “race blind” which I would not agree with. Most of the racism is implied through euphemism (the scene with Lucius Fox and Gentleman ghost), but it’s still felt as a point of friction for multiple characters, it affects how they interact with the world around them. There’s also a line spoken by either detective Flass or Bullock that implies no one in the GCPD wants to follow Renee because she’s gay. It’s cut off before the last word, but again, the meaning is implied.
An issue I always had with the Timmverse is its depictions of female characters. They always feel less real than their male counterparts, less important and less visually stylized. All the important (read: desirable) women have the same body shape. They’re thin and extremely, unnaturally curvy. I’m aware that these characters are supposed to evoke that 50s comic pinup imagery but I always thought it was a bit much. Male characters - even before the animation downgrade in BTAS season 4 - were always way more unique from each other than the female characters. That wasn’t something I felt with Caped Crusader. The three most prominent female characters (Barbara, Renee and Harleen) were all different from each other, with different heights, body shapes, hair and clothing styles. They also all had 3 distinct personalities that were built up through the series. I would argue that the show was as much about the “supporting cast” (characters like Harvey, Commissioner Gordon, Renee and Barbara) as it was about Batman.
Overall I was really impressed by the show. I was disappointed with how short it was. I hope that Renee’s personal life gets a focus with the next season, and I hope they bring back Greg Rucka to write it. I love how he wrote her in Gotham Central. I was a little annoyed that they introduced the Joker at the end of the series (as a peak into the next season). I think he’s too over saturated as a character, and sometimes his introduction into a Batman story takes over everything else, and he’s depicted as Batman’s Moriarty. I do have hope that this won’t happen in Caped Crusader, because it seems that villains will be reoccurring, but there’ll be a large cast, just like in BTAS. That aspect did remind me of the way characters were introduced in those early Batman comics, it really has the same vibe. I also really really do not want Harley to be involved with the Joker in any way. Please keep her as a separate character, this new interpretation of her is great as is, he doesn’t need to be involved.
I would also be interested to see if the show develops Barbara’s character into Oracle. I could see that happening with the introduction of the Joker at the end of season one. Maybe they’re going to rework the Killing Joke? I couldn’t see them having her as batgirl, but I would be interested to see how they worked Oracle into a world with 1940s technology. I’m thinking back to her as Oracle in the Doom that Came to Gotham, and how clever that was. I’m sure they could do something just as interesting with her here. Something more supernatural feels like a long shot, because Timm usually sticks to the more “realistic”, street-level versions of Batman, but they did introduce Gentleman Ghost. So it’s a possibility.
One thing I did think could have been better was some of the voice work. Not the voice acting itself, but the design. It felt too polished alongside the score and the animation. I wish the voice acting had been more atmospheric, had more depth. It felt too clean. Hamish Linklater was great as Bruce/Batman. Following Kevin Conroy is no small feat, and Linklater’s performance felt reminiscent of Conroy without sounding like an impression. It was quiet and unassuming, yet strong.
I’m not usually someone who watches things more than once, but I’m definitely going to be rewatching Caped Crusader soon.
#m#my post#dc#batman#batman: caped crusader#batman caped crusader#batman the animated series#this is a bit ramble-y but it’s just stream of consciousness#didn’t even touch on how they introduced dick jason and Stephanie as orphans in the nocturna episode#that was a v cool interpretation of her also#I hope those 3 will be back in some capacity - maybe as recurring characters who help Bruce act more compassionate#he volunteers w Leslie or has to fund/save her orphanage and that starts off either wayne enterprises or his philanthropy#I noticed they didn’t include Tim Cass or Damian#I think they’ll do something special for Tim bc he was such a large part of TNBA#idk for Damian but it would be interesting if they introduced Talia#I wonder if they’ll do a time skip?#I’m still holding out hope that they have cass as batgirl but that’s a bit of a pipe dream#dc comics#barbara gordon#Bruce Wayne#harvey dent#Harley Quinn#renee montoya#jim gordon
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mulder vs. scully and her period
-first off, he 1000% keeps track of her cycle - it's vital to his survival - but he would never ever ever ever tell scully that
-he learned to start keeping track after too many blunders during their first year working together. like, he'd had girlfriends in the past, obviously, but he didn't travel the country constantly with them day in and day out. even diana was rly reserved about her period, preferring to keep that sort of thing to herself. but scully is a medical doctor. while she may take issue with any emotional aspect, and be uncomfortable and embarrassed about that part, she is completely nonplussed by the physical aspect, and talks about it very bluntly and openly, and that took mulder by surprise at first. he wasn't used to being around a woman who wasn't bashful about it, and it made him uncomfortable at first, but eventually he was like "ok, this is going to be part of working with her, i need to get over myself and up my game"
-in their entire time working together, mulder has made one (1) "are you on your period or something?" joke. it was about six months into their partnership, and scully was (rightfully) irritated at him about something and he had tried for some levity. let's just say that he, ah... he has never made that mistake again
-he always has a tampon on hand. like, always. it is more reliable to ask mulder if he has a tampon than it would be to ask another woman in the bathroom if she has one. he started keeping them on him when she got her period on a three hour long flight that had an hour delay on the tarmac, and she'd accidentally forgotten to take a couple tampons out of her checked luggage, so he'd watched her shift around uncomfortably with a makeshift pad made of thin, coarse airplane bathroom toilet paper, and he felt really bad that he couldn't do anything about it, so on the flight back, he bought a travel pack pack of like, six tampons when he went to get sunflower seeds, just in case. then at some point he was like "mb i should keep a couple in my overnight bag for her," and that led to, "she's in my apartment a lot, i should throw a couple under the sink," until eventually he was King of the Tampons
-(he even has different absorbency levels, okay? like, he is on top of his shit)
-he used to buy chocolate for her on long drives when he knew she was on the rag, always saying something like, "it was two for one, don't worry about it," even when it wasn't, until he started to pay closer attention, and he realized she actually tended to crave salty foods instead of sweet ones, so he switched from chocolate to potato chips and pretzels. (he would play it off as though he got them for himself and then would keep offering her some, bc he knew that would help her not sit there and (completely needlessly) dwell over eating junk food)
-she gets really bad cramps the first day and a half or so, and he haaaates it, bc even tho she waves it off, he can see the way she clenches her jaw, and is hunched over whenever she thinks he's not paying attention. if she's over at his place when they're happening - even if they're working - he makes her sit with a heating pad and encourages her to drink the whole glass of water when she takes her midol. he has massaged her lower back on more than one occasion
-she stopped getting her periods regularly when she was going through cancer treatment, her body too sick and weak. about two months after going into remission, she bled through her slacks on some rural highway in arkansas, and although mulder listened to her complain and validated her frustration, he was secretly so relieved, bc he knew it meant that her body was really and truly starting to heal
-her periods become kind of a taboo subject in a way they hadn't ever been before once she learns of her infertility. she doesn't talk as openly about them anymore, but he's still always prepared and after four/five plus years together he doesn't need her to tell him how to make her feel better. he can intuit it. she doesn't say it, but he knows that she's grateful
-her periods become a dark topic when the ivf fails. the period that confirmed it didn't take was hard on both of them, and she spent every night of it at mulder's apartment letting him hold her and allowing him the privilege of caring for her, which she usually resisted
-he actually noticed that she missed a period before he was taken in oregon, but he had no reason to suspect it was anything but just a fluke, so he didn't say anything. when he glanced at his calendar and saw what week it was, though, he did have a fleeting moment where he was like "what if?" not in a serious capacity, but in a wistful way. i mean, they'd been going at it like rabbits and had never once even considered using a condom. like, why would they, right? but in his brief fantasy, he thinks about how she would react seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test. it would be familiar - that look of disbelief and awe she got whenever they witnessed something unexplainable - and he would be the cause of it, and how amazing would it feel to be able to give that to her? to give that to both of them? but he knows it'll never be anything more than a pipe dream (bitch, you thought!)
-we won't get into sad later stuff, but i'll just say that he really, really resents the fact that he wasn't there to take care of her during her pregnancy. and he would have been fantastic at it. he would have toed the line between supportive but not overbearing perfectly. she would have had a beautiful nine months, like she had more than earned. he'll never totally forgive the universe for taking that from them
-and to conclude, let me just say for the record, mulder is all about period sex. orgasms help cramps, right? he's just being altruistic. ("YOUR orgasm doesn't help my cramps, mulder" "hey, we'll never know for sure unless we try")
-lay down a towel, lay down your woman, and get to it. bro eats crime scene evidence. there's no way he'd let a period stop him from fucking. god bless and amen
-the end
#as always this is just stream of consciousness nonsense#i think i switched tenses in the middle of sentences up there lol#don't take it too seriously#it was just on my mind grapes and i thought i'd share#otp: maybe if it rains sleeping bags#msr#txf#the x-files#diz writes conspiracies#diz spouts conspiracies
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How many times have we done this, Interceptor? You betrayed me at one point.
composition
#pokemon rejuvenation#melia#emma#did i take a screencap of the entire altar incident and pause it frame by frame to transcribe the backwards text?#no#maybe#perhaps#no fr tho i love all of the small touches in 13.5#the replay value is phenomenal#i know i'm not the only one who finds paragon melia off#who even is melia anyway#melanie + maria?#what about emma?#only upon drawing this did I realize how nearly identical Melia's Archetype winx club fit and the Emma “disguise” are#working on a theory about that whole disguise situation and might post something soon#in an actual post tho bc it's probably bad to be abusing tags like this#but the stream of consciousness format is so fun#anyway i had a lot of fun making this. trying to make art for fun and for me again. 2024.#linked the composition inspo in the post body! super dope great study
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there seems to be far too many fans who can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that no relationship in the Vampire Chronicles is healthy. every relationship includes an element of abuse/power imbalance by normal standards. literally every single one.
they are all monsters who are no longer constrained by societal rules. so I don't think it's too crazy to expect them to do mosntorus things. the genre is Gothic HORROR. the show really prioritizes the HORROR element more so than other adaptaions, which i love.
i don't need louis to be a liar to enjoy lestat. if louis lied or misremebered things about the fight in episode 5, i literally do not care because it's never gonna make me hate louis. the baseline of what constitutes "evil" or "bad" is so different in iwtv because of the fact that they are NOT HUMAN. Claudia is literally a serial killer and she's still mother to me. ykwim?
the nature of vampirism is they have to kill to survive. so it would be really cool if people could accept louis, armand, and claudia as complex characters who are fundamentally not good people (because they aren't people!) without being racist about it. THEY ARE ALL KILLERS
im more interested in this exploration of the complexities of memory and seeing how the show integrates the other books into this story in a way that hasn't been done before than I am in discoursing about whether louis is a liar or not. who gives a shit???? grow up and realize that there are no good guys here and that's OKAY
#iwtv#tvc#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#I pretty much cleansed all my feeds so i dont actually see much racism more so than i see people talking about it#just some random thoughts i guess in the wake of the new trailer just because i know things are gonna get weird#it would be nice if audiences could be trusted with complex and morally grey characters of color but idk#but i also think the fact that there are racists is not a reason to NOT make poc characters who are complex#same goes for the people who will interpret the portrayal of a morally grey poc character AS racist#there are certain tropes i think that are always going to have racist implications ofc and im not trying to discount that#but lets all be real here and realize that revisiting ep 5 to add more layers to it is NOT going to exonerate lestat by any means#add more complexity and layers and possibly show that louis was not AS helpless as he showed himself to be? maybe#but they are not going to exonerate the white character to make the black character look evil#idk if any of this made sense im just stream of consciousness rambling
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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Something about Tucker being held to a higher standard than all of the other Reds and Blues in the later seasons. Sure he likes sex and makes “that’s what she said” esque sex jokes, but like, especially during Shisno trilogy, the show seems to really like putting him down or treating his love for sex like a comedic punching bag. Oh, Tucker’s a single dad who genuinely loves and cares about his one alien kid despite how that kid was forced upon him? Well actually he had sex with a TON of women on Chorus by using the fuck temple and now has a ton of kids that he’s reluctant to pay child support for. And speaking of the temple, despite it being said to make everyone on the planet super horny and sex obsessed, Tucker says he didn’t feel any different, because making him hypersexual is funny (why is it funny, RT?). And remember how Tucker’s arc during Chorus had him emotionally dealing with Felix’s betrayal? Well now he falls for the most obvious manipulative lies from Temple, I guess he’s just dumber now. And you remember that funny scene in season 5 where Doc is giving Sister a physical exam, and Tucker obviously really wants to see her naked, but because Doc keeps telling him to not come in, and likely out of respect, he doesn’t, while Red Team is secretly perving on her (which they never fucking get called out for), plus all the funny moments of him trying to flirt with her, and her either being receptive or so fucking weird that it takes him aback? Well Tucker still REALLY wants her, but he’s now a childish asshole who can’t stand the idea of her not wanting to sleep with him, and is now super self centered despite the arc he went through showing how he values others, and the series basically keeps fucking with him and making him miserable and barely ever giving him a moment of relief. And you know how he was mercilessly tortured for M O N T H S during Restoration? Well he doesn’t get to process that trauma, and despite all the growth he’s supposedly gone through throughout the series, his last moment is an offscreen sex joke because Tucker’s the perv, get it? We can’t let him have a fucking break despite literally everyone else being treated comparatively nicer or given some kind of levity. Why specifically Tucker, Rooster Teeth? What has he done that’s so bad to you that you continually treat his character this way despite the fact that he’s truly the best (and should have been main) character in this whole series?
#sid rants#sid bitches#red vs blue#rvb#lavernius tucker#tuckerrr#is it because he’s their only black character? maybe but honestly i feel like the show just made him black with that one line#and then never really thought about tucker’s race again#just considering stuff like how other characters with canon ethnicities/places of origin get brought up more than once#(simmons being dutch/irish or grif being hawaiian for example)#but we don’t rlly get any more mentions about tucker being black aside from the one line where it’s canonized#although i could be wrong. and maybe im forgetting a moment or two that’s supposed to reference it#i haven’t rewatched a lot recently#maybe they do consciously take tucker’s race into consideration but if they do then a lot of the shitty stuff they’ve done with him is#really worse? like him being hypersexual and an absent father for example#and the fact that it felt like they were setting him up as the main character only to shove his ass down the stairs#idk this was rlly ranty idk if it’s anything
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I feel like a see a lot of speculation about ‘the Sun King and The Lady are the real bad guys of the story’ and ‘maybe Sarcean wasn’t so bad after all’ kind of stuff…
And I think there is definitely more going on between them that makes the story less light vs dark, black vs white. But I also think that the overall story kind of plays with nature vs. nurture (or circumstance) and that in one context someone can do “evil” and in another do “good”. I don’t think it’s bad thing if Sarcean was a bad guy who did bad things, like making and using the collar, like killing all those people. Of course I believe it’s more nuanced than a black and white, light and dark, good and bad. But just because there’s nuance doesn’t mean the rolls flip and that secretly the whole time the light were the real bad guys and the dark was fighting the good fight.
I feel like if that is the case then it might neglect all the inner turmoil the characters have had to go through to try and understand their rolls in this new old world. If Sarcean maybe actually had a point and was doing the right thing, then Will’s battle with himself and his desires doesn’t mean as much because he’s not actually fighting any dark impulses
#all that said#I trust pacat with my life and will follow no matter where they lead#just a kind of stream of consciousness ramble about some stuff I’ve been thing about#not actually a planned out argument or anything#cs pacat#dark heir#dark rise#dark heir spoilers#james st clair#will kempen#dark rise spoilers#maybe it will be a full roll reversal and I’ll have been wrong
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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