#or maybe it's the fact that it barely happens so i don't have many opportunities to talk to people in english

[pardonmydelays]

the funniest thing that always happens to me is that every time we have a customer who doesn't speak polish and they ask me if i speak english i'm like "no, i don't think i do" only to realize a few minutes later that i do, in fact, speak english

[just-a-ghost00]

Who is your future spouse?

I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.

Group 1

"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."

White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups

I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow

Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.

They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.

Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.

They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.

One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.

This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.

They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.

They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.

This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.

Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.

Group 2

"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."

White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups

I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions

This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.

This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.

They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.

They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.

They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.

For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.

Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.

This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.

I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).

Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.

Group 3

"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords

I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child

This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.

They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.

One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.

This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.

They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.

They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.

I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.

Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.

Group 4

"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."

White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent

Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.

They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.

They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.

This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.

Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.

Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.

This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.

They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 5

Chapters 5 and 6 are done! Yippy! Chapter 7 is going to be a slice-of-life type of thing because I don't want to time skip straight to the bats finding out quite yet. Also, did y'all know that Gothamite also means an inhabitant of NYC? Whenever you see me use that just know I mean an inhabitant of Gotham City.

Enjoy!

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 5 >>next

NYC was hell on earth and that’s coming from a Gothamite.

Sure- did a rogue attack 3 times a week, maybe more, in Gotham? Yes. But NYC felt lawless and without rhyme or reason. Every day something was happening, every day a building went down if it wasn’t a whole street, every day a hero would almost run you over while you were just trying to chill in the air.

At least on the third Tuesday of every month, there would be no robberies in Gotham, at least if something happened to the city and Batman wasn’t around the rogues would keep the people safe. Here it seemed to be everyone for themselves, and the rent was heinous for the type of bullshit that went down, in Gotham it was pennies compared to NYC. The constant feeling of being watched didn’t help either it irked at the back of your head every time, only stopping in the safety of your home.

The shadows stopped talking to you as well, you could barely hear them anymore, your theory being that NYC was simply too bright compared to G. City. Visiting Midnight City helped keep you connected to them, it felt somewhat like Gotham. But Darkwing felt too much like Batman, making you paranoid, so you never truly lingered for long. You missed them. Missed the rogues, the garden, the kids, the manor. The house really grew on you.

But you liked it. You liked the chaos, the myriads of heroes, the aliens that kept trying to conquer the world, and you enjoyed how the heroes knew that sometimes the best course of action was to kill the threat.

You were still bitter about how Joker took Jason from you, about how Mr. Wayne hid that from you, so seeing Omni-Man, War Woman, Immortal and so many more deal with clearly deadly threats as they should be dealt with felt nice. They would never let Joker live, the clown wouldn’t have millions of kills, and he wouldn’t have gotten Barbara and Jason.

Of course, you’ve heard rumors that while Batman doesn’t go out of his way to kill, he lets others do the dirty work, everyone in Gotham has. You’ve seen Lois Lane cover some of the bigger, worldwide alien attacks that the Justice League helped with. Batman didn’t seem to have a problem with killing or seriously injuring them. He was either a hypocrite or afraid to lose it once he did kill a human, either way, both were bad options.

So, you put up with it, found yourself a studio apartment owned by an old woman, overlooking the fact that the whole building may have been owned by a gang, and kept on doing your online schooling. Kept on making art, donating to charities and shelters, found yourself a nice job pet sitting, and even did some volunteering at local shelters when they needed an extra hand.

You got better at flying, getting so fast you could go around the globe in 5 minutes. It was fun visiting the places you heard Bruce talk about to the others, Algeria, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bangladesh, Belgium, Brazil, and China. You were planning on visiting every city in every country with this newfound freedom. It was fun, and Bruce didn’t even notice as you used more and more of your allowance.

Sadly, your moments of peace and happiness always seemed to last for a short while. You were happy with just flying, it opened opportunities you didn’t even think were possible, but you’ve never seen a meta whose ability was only flying, not if they didn’t have wings, and maybe paranoia settled in.

Were you just dreaming? Was this just a really long dream? Were you dead? Would you go off the rocket when or if other powers showed up? What will you do when they do show up? You wanted to be an artist, to paint until your heart gave away. But if people needed help you wouldn’t be able to stay on the sidelines knowing you’re more than capable of lending a hand.

You knew you already had some strength power active- you wouldn’t be able to fly that fast without your skin peeling right off. Maybe it just made your skin stronger? Well, that’s how you ended up in a forest, or deep in a park- you weren’t sure, you flew without thinking, your thoughts and theories eating at you until you had to act.

The tree in front of you had an average-sized trunk, maybe on the smaller side compared to the others around you. You’ve been staring at it for a bit, debating if this really was something you wanted to see if you could do. “Ignorance is bliss” flew through your mind, but the full sayings of these quotes always rang at the back of your head. “Where ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise”.

Your fist met the trunk with a small thud, you didn’t feel any pain, nothing was happening, so you bit your lip, closed your eyes tight, and punched the trunk harder. You heard the wood splinter before you saw it, your eyes flying wide open at the sound. The trunk had a dent in the shape of your fist, not quite all the way through. You still felt nothing.

Maybe you shouldn’t have tested out your strength this much, Ivy would have been quite mad at you for destroying so many trees, each one thicker than the last, but you were simply curious and made sure to clean up after yourself. It was weird. If you hit fast enough your arm could go right through quite cleanly, but there was no pain, none at all… Is this how Superman felt?

In your excitement, you didn’t even notice the figure above you, watching your every move or the flying orb camera doing the same. And while the figure kept watching you grow in your powers for a year, watched you help around in small ways, mostly clean up and small muggings, the orb stopped after a few months.

It took a while for you to be able to lift as much as you could now, for the first half of your newfound power you had to break stuff like big rubble down before you could lift them, you still found it amusing how Red Flash stayed quiet about you, but how could he not when you shushed him the first time he tried to tell the others. The man wasn’t about to fuck with Cecil’s worker, even though he might have said a word or two to the old man’s face about child labor.

Despite all that you truly felt happy, fulfilled even. You were doing art, helping people, and despite still working on having friends during the day part, you were glad you left. You were on cloud nine, well, literally more than figuratively. You were flying above the clouds, basking in the sun. Nothing could cloud your life anymore.

…Where did the sun go? Your eyes opened, blissful expression turning into a frown as your eyes caught a dark figure flying just a few paces over you, its eyes glowing, a wide grin showing a full set of teeth, cape billowing behind it.

What. The. Fuck.

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae @alittletiredcry @kittzu @plsfckmedxddy @blackhood1229 @nxdxworld @leeiasure @dandelion-delusion

hope I didn't forget anyone 😬

[brighteststar707]

Summer always feels like Saeyoung to me, probably because I replayed his route almost every year I went on summer holiday.

(coincidence much that these holidays often involved long car rides that lined up nicely with that part of his route? I don't think so)

So, despite my own discomfort in summer, the warm air and sunny days make me think of him. I may not be replaying his route this summer (yet), but he's been in my mind more strongly than ever.

In the spirit of that, and to bring back an old post of mine, here are some more Saeyoung summer headcanons.

Falling in love with Saeyoung (in the summer):

His route takes place in a particularly hot and humid August

Not that you'd know it, having been stuck inside for all that time

Especially towards the end, the apartment starts to feel like its own isolated world

With your feelings developing and Seven's life unravelling, you have barely any time to pay attention to what's happening outside

So imagine when it comes time to leave and you step out into a cheerful sunny day

It feels almost like the world is welcoming you back after nearly ten days of isolation

There is something magic in the air, a sweetness you can almost taste

Your mutual pining has become nearly unbearable, and perhaps it's just the endless blue skies as you drive down open roads but it feels like maybe the two of you will finally get somewhere

Time stretches out in front of you, not in the way it did back in the apartment (a neverending dark corridor) but more like a promise: there will be time to breathe before the future hits you

And the tension! If the apartment was small then the car is absolutely cramped

There are so many opportunities for (not-so) accidental touches to happen - and you bet that they do

Your arm brushing his as you reach around for something in the backseat, his hand accidentally overshooting when reaching for the handbrake and touching your thigh...

It's nearly enough to do you in

Flirting and teasing him in the apartment was one thing, but out here it feels different (in the open, nowhere to hide, sunlight on his face making his eyes sparkle)

For a while you speed down the roads with the windows down and you feel carefree in a way you haven't in a long time

The adrenaline of being on the run and the excitement of being with him on this journey combine into this rush that's heady and dizzying

It seems like even his spirits have been lifted, whether it's because he's out of the apartment or because you're both on the move, you have no way of knowing

You are aware of the fact that something big is coming, you have been warned of the danger of the task you are undertaking

But there has been so much: the bomb, the break in, the secrets that have come out

That you cannot begin to conceive of worse things, cannot bear to linger in anxiety any longer

Seven is here right next to you, more real than anything else - so you choose to focus on that

A few hours in, he pulls into a side road to record his message to the agency (wincing just before pressing the button, trying not to look at you as he speaks, as if he's ashamed of you seeing it)

For your benefit, he has stopped by the sea, and you watch the waves roaring in and washing out as he talks, picking up the way his inflection has changed (the very real threat that sits right under the brightness of his voice), sun hot on your cheeks in the absence of the car AC

The roof is down and there's a slight breeze drifting through the car (if you try, you can just about pick up the scent of the sea: brine and salt and the endless open)

Yet, you find yourself craving having him close again

The second the recording ends, he turns back to you (and the malice is gone, he's all sunlight and perhaps some trepidation)

You reach your hand out to him almost by instinct and he holds it tightly

There is a moment, just a second that passes between you that is silent and all you can hear are the distant waves and the beating of your own heart and you know something bigger is coming

When he tells you his name, it is like it has been there on the tip of your tongue the whole time

The first time you say it back to him, it comes out as tender as a term of endearment (Saeyoung like Love)

And he must hear it to, because before it can sink in truly, he is leaning down closer to you and kissing you, hard

It's not like the first time (soft kisses between nervous laughter and hesitant hands)

It's hot and hungry and sure and you don't know if the roaring in your ears is the sea or just your own exhiliration

By the time he is back in the car next to you, his cheeks are a burning red and he is hurriedly putting the car hood back up - he is muttering that the heat is getting to him

And then you drive on, changed

The little cabin he finds you is incredibly hot and stuffy

Even though the sun is going down, you have to prop open all the windows in an attempt to get some air in

He eventually gets an old dusty fan working and as night approaches it cools off marginally

However it does nothing to cool you off later in the night

Sticky and breathless and the heat between your bodies inevitable, the hours that night linger, thick like honey

You wouldn't have it any other way

You still don't know what gift it was that allowed that day to stretch on for as long as it did, but you are grateful for it regardless

Later on, knowing everything that happens, you will think back on that time differently, the whole thing coloured with a tinge of horror that you could never have anticipated

But some part of summer will always taste like adrenaline and the dizzying thrill of falling in love

And that is worth so much more

[formulatrash]

(genuine question) what do you think of fe's women test? is it a good opportunity for them?

I don't know, would be the honest answer. in the past the tests have been good opportunities - well, I say "tests," it in fact was just the one in Riyadh.

but being forced to find a woman if you wanted to run a second car, in the first in-season Gen2 test, meant teams actually had an incentive to do it. I honestly don't think any FE teams are ill-intentioned or that they had planned not to have female drivers but well, even from being heavily encouraged at the start, none of them did by Season 3.

so the fact they got forced to go and find a woman and give her sim time to prep and work with her and sign her onto their books suddenly made them think: oh. maybe this is easier than we thought. several of the women at that original Diriyah test came back and a few got formalised roles with teams. Tatiana Caldéron, in particular, was really quite in-demand between teams for a bit. but then a global pandemic happened and teams could barely make contact with their regular drivers and everything turned so survivalist this sort of stuff all disappeared, too hard to work out the tangles of for most contracts.

so I think it's good that those are being re-upped, that teams are being forced to make contact with women and to work with them. every session with the Gen3 EVO counts so, so much so they will have needed to brief the hell out of the drivers to make sure they can get stuff out of it - this isn't a show run, the teams need this data.

given the power of the machinery it does worry me a lot that so many of the drivers are stepping in from F4 (F1A & other equivalent series) but tbf, there have been men who've done that in past tests. it also feels a bit that there's a distancing in that - obviously you would not expect to see a lot of these testers progress to an FE seat any time soon because they are too junior.

(not everyone, obviously. Simona de Silvestro literally used to be a full-time Formula E driver)

I'd like to think there will be follow-up opportunities. Extreme E, FE's weird sister, has shown that not only does equal seat time level the board but that elite women can outmatch elite men when given the same opportunity: in a stacked field of champions, Laia Sanz came out on top as the best driver in the Odyssey-21.

one test session, during which the drivers are mostly under pressure not to bin the car, won't level the field. but if even a handful of the drivers prove they can give useful feedback and run productive test sessions, then that puts them in consideration for more running and that is, unfortunately, more than they would have got otherwise.

so: do I think it is world changing? no. but I think there are opportunities, if teams use this as a chance to assess the drivers for them.

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I understand if this isn’t something you’re interested in but I was wondering if you could write the boys being possessive/protective over the reader. I was just rereading final girl chapter 5 and I’d just love to see her rip them a new one in her own way about boundaries and stuff and seeing them manipulate/grovel there way in to her good graces again or like how she would’ve reacted to the boys scaring away the boy who took her to the party if Billy wasn’t in one of his moods I don’t know if I asked this right I’ve sent asks so many time to you now and I’m all ways worried I don’t convey/explain what I mean properly and it’s just confusing for you but anyway have a good day/night and whether you can or can’t,thank you anyway :)

*set in the same world as the final girl fic series but can be read as a stand alone with little to no context lol

A/n hi!! there's still some manipulative vibes in this bc i just feel like one of them is bound to trauma dump as a way 'in' when y/n's mad at them but i still feel like it's mainly nice! especially bc there's some emotional growth

----

You're still on the phone, moving in and out of their line of sight. The intention was never to watch you from the sprawling tree they use to get to your window, but there was something about your focus on the whatever conversation you're still having that left Billy telling Stu to wait.

Billy's not sure what he's waiting for. Maybe it's a form of masochism, to see how long you'll talk to whoever's on the other end.

"She's still on the phone." Stu's voice has taken on that hollow, detached quality that's never an indicator of self control. Billy says nothing, not in the mood to defend you or deflect the stinging. "He wouldn't call her..."

There's a second part of Stu's sentence that's just implied. He wouldn't call her after what happened in the locker room. "She found out. She might have called him."

The words leave a bitter taste in his mouth. The fact that Jack McCarthy didn't permanently fade back into obscurity after he and Stu made it clear that while you might buy the whole study-buddy act, they can see straight through him is pounding inside his head. Again and again, the start of a headache.

"If you don't want to..." Stu presses his palm into bark, so hard he wouldn't be surprised if he pulled his hand away bloody. "If you're not in the mood to talk to cutie in there, there's always another way to see if she's talking to him."

Even though it's a barely an idea, a soft suggestion, the knot in Stu's chest loosens with the words. Just checking in on Jack could easily turn into calling Jack...which would lead to the most mind clearing thing Stu can imagine. Thoughts of tearing him apart, piece by piece until it's impossible to tell that the mess of red and guts was ever the teenager with the letterman jacket that threw his arm around you during your study period rush to the front of Stu's mind. It's so soothing that he almost moves to the lower branch that lets him reach the ground.

Stu thinks about bringing it up again, a little less subtle and more desperate but he wants it too bad to care. Needs it. You pace back into view as his lips part. You're now holding the phone against your other ear, meaning that the receiver is no longer blocking your face. He pauses, taking the opportunity to watch you more openly than he normally lets himself.

Your lips are slightly parted in a just barely-there pout and your eyes are locked on something in front of you. There's something about the slight, halfhearted irritation in your expression. It takes Stu a second to place why he can't stop staring and then it clicks--it's twistingly cute...and you're...pretty.

Not that Stu doesn't regularly see you as attractive or hot, but pretty's different. At least, different in the way it's sticking out to him now, like a splinter that breaks off beneath the skin before you can pull it out. You're pretty in a way that Stu never thinks about. Pretty in a soft way that reminds him of domestic shit and makes his chest feel tight.

"We uh--" It's not the first time they've popped by with a backpack with a few things to do, but this time it's different. They took their time thinking about what you'd like, what'd work as a sort of peace offering. Now, watching you chat away without a care in the world over your fight, it all feels pathetic.

Everything becomes a soft buzz of background noise as you press you sigh. Billy wishes he knew how to better read lips because you sigh, say something, and then dramatically fall back on your bed.

You shift onto your stomach, propping your head up with an elbow. The oversized T-shirt that you're in slides down your shoulder and your hair's a little fluffier than before due to your movements. There's a softness to your appearance that leaves an odd feeling flaring in Billy's stomach, a sensation that could be considered butterflies if it felt less like being stabbed.

The in-between of too close while still being so far is oddly overwhelming drawn out like this. Billy swallows as you laugh at something from the other line. "We're already here."

It's a different level of sad to get here and then turn around, so Billy shift forward and finally reaches for the window. The move has grown so familiar Billy even knows at what point he needs to push a little harder because of the way the sides stick to the frame. He moves his hand an it doesn't budge. To add salt to the wound, you've locked the window. You never lock the fucking window.

A dangerous wave of flighty rejection coils in his stomach. The part of him that knows how to think in the long term knows that he should leave while he still can. The last thing anyone needs is for Billy to start associating this with you.

The window creeks and your head snaps towards them. Your eyebrows draw together and you sit up fully, even more of your shoulder and collarbone exposing themselves with the motion. You mumble something into the phone, a beat passes, and then you stand. you approach the window begrudgingly, placing a hand on your hip before cradling the phone between your neck and cheek.

Your lips are pressed together in a way that seems to lull the violent mindset of them both. It's the kind of look you get when you're trying not to smile. After a second, you lean down, undo the lock, and open the window.

"You won't belie--" You sigh, moving to hold the phone again, "Stop enjoying this." Whoever's on the other line must really be annoying you, because you shift back enough to let Billy and Stu in through the window. "Seriously, I'll hang up."

Billy and Stu exchange a look. They're here, trying to get you past something only you think is an issue, and you're still on the fucking phone. Who could be that important?

"No! You are so not talking to them."

There's a brief silence as you wander back towards your bed. The growing discomfort in Billy's chest wins his silent, internal argument. "Who wants to talk to us?"

At that, you finally pause, breeziness briefly leaving your eyes as you look at him. That look pinches at Billy's flightiness and soothes a part of him that he doesn't quite get. You're so good at that, at detecting whatever you want in him. The inability to twist and fully control your perception of him is overwhelming sometimes. Too similar to the way that his mom could--

"Hallie." Your normal expression has come back, like it always does. The awareness that Billy doubts you understand outside of a subconscious level never lingers on your face. But your voice delivers the answer so gently it feels like an olive branch. "You've subjected her to a super long rant about your betrayal."

Despite all the aggression you forced into your words, that relaxes something in them both. Hallie--the completely harmless childhood best friend that's still in Texas. States away, way too far to come between the three of you, even if she wanted to.

"Hallie," Stu repeats, and Billy can feel Stu's shift to something much more genuine. "The super hot girl from your vacation pho--"

"Do not start." You hold up a finger in warning and there's something in the reaction. You'd deny it if anyone ever brought it up, but Stu's noticed the way you get when he goes out of the way to hit on anyone. Even Tatum. You're subtle about, but you get a little quieter as you pick at your nails or try to focus on something else. This time, though, there's none of that, just a bit of urging annoyance. "She has a big enough head as is."

There's a sound from the other line and you roll your eyes. "What? It's true." You're listening to whatever's on the other end intently. "Okay--fine--bye, loser." Another wave of chatter from the other line. "Uh--it's--" You glance over at the two boys still lingering in the corner. "Love you, too. Bye."

You hang up, making a point of keeping your back to them as you set the receiver back onto the machine on your nightstand.

Stu breaks, laughing once. You snap your head in his direction. "Shut up."

Stu takes a tentative step towards you, already liking how quickly you're easing. Maybe all you needed was to feel a little more in control by ranting to someone that isn't here. "Why don't you ever tell me you love me?"

You glare at Stu's exaggerated pout. "You do not get to make fun of me while I'm mad at you." You stand a little straighter. "Why are you guys even here?"

"Not making fun of you." Stu reaches your bed, flopping onto your mattress like he lives with you. He casually picks up a fluffy pillow and squeezes it to his chest. "Genuinely hurt that you don't love us."

Confusion cracks at your annoyance, "Us?"

"If you said 'I love you' to grumpy before me, I don't wanna know." He squeezes the pillow a little tighter, turning his head and squeezing his eyes shut like he can't take the agony. "Too painful, bug."

You cross your arms again, eyes awkwardly falling to the ground. It's not Stu's dramatics that get to you, but you never like it when anyone reduces Billy into something negative and angsty. "He's not grumpy."

"Oh, defensive." Stu absentmindedly weaves his fingers through the pillow's layer of fluff. "Didn't think you'd still care."

You sigh, annoyed at his passive aggressiveness as if they didn't come to your room while fully aware of how mad you are. "That's dramatic, even for you."

"Is it?" Billy mumbles the question, low and almost unsure. "We--we weren't sure if you'd talk to us again."

The comment leaves you feeling like the intruding force. Something about their somber mood makes it seem like you're what's unfitting even though they came to your room. "Just because I'm mad right now doesn't mean I'll be mad forever."

You're not sure you could be. Sure, you have other friends you really care about, but they're all linked to Billy and Stu. They're dating Sid and Tatum and Randy's usually with the group. It's not that you think the three of them would cut you off, but it wouldn't be the same. And even if everything without Billy and Stu could be perfect, you still wouldn't be happy. Not fully.

You'd miss them, miss the way that Stu can always make you laugh no matter how you're feeling and how comforting Billy's presence can be. They might really push boundaries sometimes, but they're still your best friends.

"I get that you--" Sighing, you scratch the back of your wrist. "Hallie and I were talking about it and she reminded me that you guys have good intentions, and I get that, but this is the second time I have to find out that you threatened someone behind my back."

Stu's moved onto his side, head propped up on an elbow as he watches you. Billy's still lingering near the window. Both of them are quiet and that's getting to you. "I'm not a little kid and I don't need you guys to approve of everyone I'm friends with."

"They didn't want to be friends with you." There's no argument in Stu's voice or aggression, just a factual flatness that leaves your face hot.

You shift your weight from one foot to the other. Noel wanting more than friendship's something that makes sense. He was flirty, you went out on a date, and he's known for being an insensitive player. But Jack didn't seem like that at all. Sure, he's a quarterback and hangs out with the guys that never shut up during class, but he had a reason to study with you. Your english teacher assigned him to be tutored by you because his grades were dropping to the point where his coach was threatening to bench him. Sure, he was nice to you, but that's probably because he was worried about his grade. No star player wants to be benched during recruiting season.

The implication also leaves a hard feeling in your stomach. It picks at an insecurity that rooted itself into you around that time in middle school where kids pair up and start dating. Naivety is a weak spot when it comes to teenagers and your inexperience translates into that. Part of it is your mom, the way she's been open about what it meant to become a mom at 17. The rest of it is genuine interest and practicality. You want to go to Princeton, dating is distracting and you haven't really met anyone you like enough to sacrifice studying or time with your friends.

And it doesn't bother you. Not usually. You know life is long and eventually the whole relationship thing will click and work its way to you, probably with some college guy that's majoring in something artsy, but then things like this come up and it makes you feel so stupid.

"Doesn't matter what they want." That feels like a mature enough answer, and it's not a lie. Teenage boys want sex. You're not so out of the loop that that's some kind of revelation. But what they want or think they're getting doesn't change you. "I'm not an idiot and I'm not that naive."

Even if you were, it's not their business to get involved without you asking. For all they know, maybe you want to hook up with someone. That's your choice, not theirs. "And even if I was, it's still my choice."

Billy angles his head downwards, eyes a little darker than you remember them being. "So our big crime is not wanting you to get hurt?"

Ugh. That's more or less the argument Hallie made while playing the devil's advocate. It must have taken a lot for Hallie to defend anyone that isn't you, but she knew that blowing up your friendship with Billy and Stu over a guy you barely knew would only hurt you more in the long run.

"It's--" Trying to explain your issue with the situation is getting exhausting. They're not capable of focusing on anything besides their intentions. "It's a boundaries thing. You can't threaten anyone you don't like into not talking to me behind my back."

Stu's sitting up now, the plush pillow on his lap. "We didn't think of it that way, angel. We just--we know those guys and know what they're like and what you're like, and--" He's fidgeting, fingers tangling into the synthetic hairs of the pillow. "We don't want anything happening to you."

The sentiment's there, forced out almost shyly. It's almost enough to distract you from the weird intensity there. Something happening to you. Over some guy. You get that heartbreak can be a pretty intense thing, but it can't be that bad.

"Nothing's--" You cut yourself off with a sigh. At this rate, they'll eventually be more protective than your mom. They're both weirdly quiet. "What's the big deal if I'm 'hurt' by some stupid guy? It's not like I'd lose it and stop talking to my friends or like it'd effect us or...anything."

Billy lets out a low scoff. The sound is so cold and unlike him you don't know how to react. "Really?"

You hesitate before reminding yourself that it's still just Billy. "...Yeah?" The single syllable falls flat. "I mean...why would it?"

Billy steps forward. "All it took for me to lose--" The sudden movement makes you stiffen until he sits at the foot of your bed, next to Stu. "My mom was her being hurt by some 'stupid guy'.'

Stu freezes. There are a lot of ways this could have gone, but he didn't think that Billy would drop that. Not tonight, with the way Billy tiptoes around his mom's absence and the reason behind it. It's not the kind of thing he'd throw away just to get you to make up with them a little faster...and the rawness in Billy's voice...

Jack might have to end up on their call list anyway.

You're silent as you study them with an expression that would be completely unreadable if it wasn't for the tiny crease between your eyebrows. Billy's hinted at stuff with his mom before, but the way he talked about her always framed her in a way that made it seem like she had passed. You also didn't think he'd ever say anything about what happened so bluntly...or that something that seemed so small to you could have been forcing him to think about those things.

Billy's eyes are focused on nothing in particular, one of his knees pressed against Stu's. His insides feel like they're at war with each other. That bleeding honesty took over with no warning and it's blinding him to everything else. The reminder of the abandonment gnaws at him.

The mattress dips. You don't know what the right way to react is. While this makes their behavior make a little more sense, that doesn't make your point wrong. They did overstep. But that's nowhere near as heavy as Billy's thing. And it couldn't have been easy for Stu to watch his best friend's life fall apart over something like that.

There's something you should say, you're almost sure of it, but nothing feels good enough. Pointing out the differences in the situation feels callous and any promises you could make would likely make it seem like you blame his mom. You might not know much about their relationship, but the way Billy talks about her, like her memory's this fragile thing, you know better than to risk it. An apology also doesn't feel like the right answer, you haven't done anything wrong and you don't want to risk bringing up the fight.

You stretch out a hand silently, letting your fingertips brush against the back of his palm. He briefly tenses, but doesn't move away, so you take it as an okay to rest your hand over his.

Your touch is warm and unexpected, an anchor Billy's torn between latching onto and running away from. It's overwhelming, the amount of influence you have over him. Sometimes if he thinks too much about how that uncertainty feels he has to fight to not hold it against you.

"I know it's..." Billy speaks slowly, trying to force himself to believe what he's saying, or at least, focus on it enough to act like he does. "Different, it just..."

You brush your pointer finger across his knuckles. "I know." A warmth that's hard to accept burns through his chest. Billy turns his hand over before loosely linking your fingers together. "Just boundaries, okay?"

Billy nods, a bit more color returning to his face. You straighten your spine to look past Billy's shoulder and at Stu. "That goes for you, too."

"You've got it, babe."

"That means no more threatening guys just because they talked to me." You keep your expression serious in an attempt to stare down Stu. It's probably no where near as menacing as you want it to be. "I'm serious."

He lifts an arm to his chest, drawing an uneven cross over his heart. "Scout's Honor."

You roll your eyes. "You were never a boy scout."

Stu frowns, "How would you know?"

It's not so much information as it is his vibe. Stu seems way too active and focused on what he'd find fun to have wanted to stick to boy scouting and you doubt his parents have ever been around enough to make him. But that's way too much to answer his question with. "Were you?"

"Ye--"

"He got kicked out," Billy interjects, "After terrorizing a camping trip."

You laugh before you can stop yourself. It's easy to picture Stu a little younger and a lot more impulsive. "That tracks."

"Fuck off," he mumbles before slumping down until he's flat on his back.

Billy turns his head, giving you a look that seems to ask why you two put up with him. The expression is so familiar you can't help your relief. You're still a little rightfully annoyed at them, but the desire to keep them lighter beats that irritation out by an inch. "What'd he do?"

The real answer isn't anything too traumatic, but it involved newly learned pocket knife skills, a frog, and a pathetically squirmish tent mate. But that's not the kind story of you'd be particularly into. It might even make you a little more closed off. They learned early on that while you might be able to handle most scary movies and gore like a champ, you draw a line at anything happening to an animal.

"Imagine that at age 10." Billy vaguely gestures in Stu's direction, Stu lifts an arm to shove Billy. "What didn't he do?" You smile, a little more amused than you want to be. "And you've seen his house...the way he lives..."

Another wave of laughter rises up your throat before you can help it. The implication that Stu was too spoiled to get through a camping trip is a little too fitting.

Stu groans, reaching back for the fluffy pillow. He smacks Billy's arm with it, a passive display of aggression. "It was not like that." Stu turns his neck, "Don't listen to him."

You laugh again, briefly forgetting that you're still supposed to be annoyed with them as you lay down. "I've been to your house, your bathroom has more amenities than a hotel, so I believe him."

He twists his neck to glare at you. It's more of a pout than anything else. "You have a hundred things in your bathroom."

Stu's technically right, but it's different. He's counting in your perfectly reasonable--and reasonably(ish)--priced makeup, skin care, and hair stuff. Not all things you use everyday or necessarily need, but it's different. He has fancy hand soap that leaves skin extra soft and lotion for guests that's nicer than anything you own for yourself. "You're deflecting."

He scoffs, "Can't hear you over the beauty store in your bathroom."

It's said so seriously it circles back to kind of ridiculous. Especially because of how pointless it is. You wrinkle your nose, fighting down a grin. "That doesn't make sense."

Stu's lips part like he's going to instinctually jump to defend himself. Your smile stops him. "It doesn't."

After a beat, the two of you exchange a look and laugh. Billy sighs, shoving Stu's leg and your arm. "You two aren't funny."

"Maybe you're just boring."

Billy looks over at you, glaring. "Really?"

You nod, a little too smug. "Really."

"Don't listen to him." Stu halfheartedly pushes Billy. In retaliation, Billy extends an arm without looking, grabbing Stu's forearm in a way that, to you, looks surprisingly gentle. "He's jealous."

You smile as Stu sits up. "I can so see that."

Billy's eyebrows draw together. "Jealous of what?"

"Our not-boringness." You push yourself so that you're sitting again.

"Yeah, you two are super cool and not weird."

Scoffing, you pull your legs onto the bed and cross them beneath you. "I'm not weird."

Billy tilts his head in the direction of your desk. "How many sticky notes are in--"

"You promised not to use that against me." You cut him off, not overly thrilled at the mention of sticky notes. Early on in your friendship, he found you going through your locker while you were sorting through sticky note and highlighter combos for homework.

His eyebrows pull together, his nose wrinkling a little in a way that's painfully endearing and surprisingly casual. "I promised not to tell anyone." He angles himself towards you, tilting his head downwards. The movements were subtle, but something about the shift makes him feel a lot closer than before. "That's different."

Your breath tangles itself in your throat at his lower tone. You need to say something, because if you don't you'd just be staring and that's--You force out the first thing you can think of, "Technicality."

"Still counts." There's nothing else you can think of and he still feels closer than normal. Before your thoughts can turn into total panic, Billy turns towards Stu, who's digging through his backpack. "What are you doing?"

"Almost forgot." Stu finds what he's looking for. It's small from where you're sitting. He reaches behind Billy's bag to extend whatever he's holding towards you. "Here."

A bag of gummy candies. You take it skeptically, because it's been twisted shut oddly. Smoothing out the wrinkled plastic, you open the bag and look at the contents. A part of you is surprised that it actually does have gummies...only they all look the same. Confused, you shake the bag once and the candies move, confirming it is what it looks like. They're all your favorite.

"I don't like the red ones," he mumbles, not quite looking at you, "But you do, right?"

You grin, pulling a gummy bear out of the bag and biting off its head to put it out of its misery humanely. "The red ones are the best, you're weird for that."

He scoffs, "The cute ones always have bad taste."

"I think you're complimenting yourself with that one." You pop the rest of the gummy into your mouth. "Orange lover."

"The orange ones are objectively--"

"They're all the acidic parts of a real orange without the orangey-ness."

Billy looks over at you. "Orangey-ness?" He's convinced he's heard this argument more times than anyone else alive, but your points are usually a little better.

You glare, pulling another gummy out of your bag. "You're not a part of this, you like the pineapple ones."

Stu laughs, "He also likes grape flavored stuff."

You gasp like Stu just outed Billy as a criminal. "No way."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles, already tired, "Make fun of me."

And after a second, he realizes that he really means it. If you're not mad at them, he can handle it.

----

A/n i never know if i should use the final girl tag list for fics that are set in the final girl world (if that makes sense), bc it's an update technically but also not bc it's not the main fic??

idk i've seen other writers on here tag for more than just the main fic and i'm always happy to be tagged in stuff but idk if that's for everyone lol,, lmk if you have any thought!

[jayz4dayz]

RWBY Volume 9 Was A Total Missed Opportunity:

Putting this out there right now. Volume 9 is by far my favorite volume of RWBY for many reasons which I will not be addressing in this post, but there are a few things that have been on my mind since it's been released where I feel the storyline went wrong and could have been something so much more meaningful for the character's story arcs and development.

Starting off with our main man or should I say our old man Jaune Arc. His presence throughout Vol. 9 felt out of place not just for his character, but also the way his development was handled didn't feel right in the slightest. Becoming a crazy old crackpot because he foolishly made bad decision after bad decision, completely altering and undoing a lot of his character's timeline, and turning into this sort of secondary antagonist for Team RWBY made no sense to me. The way he said so many out of pocket things throughout the different episodes, including completely crossing a line with Ruby and being insensitive towards her mental and emotional condition instead of showing genuine concern like he normally would have, made me cringe to where I wasn't enjoying what I was watching anymore. Not in a good way!

Here's how I would have done it:

Going back to the very end of volume 8 where we see Jaune running towards the portal and barely missing it by mere inches, followed by seeing him fall into the dark abyss and joining the same fate as Team RWBY and Neo. Instead of that, we see him jumping through the portal at the very last second and making it to Vacuo by the skin of his teeth. The others see him and question why he's alone and where Team RWBY was, only for him to go "Uh..." and then the screen cuts to black and the credits start rolling.

We're gonna skip the three year hiatus and jump right into the beginning of Vol. 9 where only Team RWBY and Neo have fallen into the Ever After. For the first few episodes leading up to the reveal of the Rusted Knight, I don't think much needs to change except for the fact that they won't ever encounter Jaune, but they will still encounter the Rusted Knight who, in this version, is someone that would have had the entire fandom shook to their core when the big reveal of the Rusted Knight's identity happened: Pyrrha.

Now, how would she get to this point, you might ask? Well, remember when she got pierced by Cinder's Arrow and her body seemed to disintegrate? This scene:

This death compared to all the other characters who were killed off was unique in the fact that there was no body left behind and it almost appeared her energy was transported to another place. Hmm, perhaps another realm such as the In Between or the Ever After? Why this happened, in my opinion, was because of the use of someone else's semblance. We know very little about Pyrrha's family and have only seen her mother on screen once, so we don't know much about her backstory or semblance either. However, if her semblance worked anything like Raven's to where she needed to be attached to someone in order for her semblance to work and transfer her loved ones to a safer location to escape a deadly threat, now we have something. What if her mom's semblance transported the body to another realm of her choice right before the moment of death? (I like to call it a "divine intervention" semblance.) If that's the case, then why wouldn't it make sense for a mother's love to send her daughter somewhere familiar and (relatively) safe and still accessible to Remnant? The Ever After was based on a children's tale that everyone knew growing up and Pyrrha being as smart as she is would instantly recognize where she was transported to. Maybe she had knowledge of her mother's semblance and knew this might have happened one day, or maybe not. I find the one scene her mother is in to be very interesting because while she was talking to Jaune, she had a very bitter-sweet attitude about it and almost talked as if she knew more than she let on, but I digress.

In the story's timeline, when Team RWBY arrives in the Ever After, Pyrrha would have been there already for a couple of years. That would have given her enough time to establish herself and explore the different acres because let's be real here, Pyrrha wouldn't have stumbled upon the time travel fruit and messed around with it like Jaune did, nor would she have focused all her energy into the people of the land even though she would protect them with her life if she had to, but at the end of the day, she was just trying to figure out a way home. Once she stumbles across Team RWBY, it would all make sense why the Tree didn't let her return to Remnant yet. By this point, I'm sure she would have encountered Alyx, Lewis, and the Curious cat, probably handled the situation a lot better than Jaune did, and give Team RWBY a cautionary tale about the Curious Cat in a way that wasn't bitter or vengeful. The bee's having their special moment still would have happened, the team's fallout with the Curious Cat still would have gone down, and then we get to the scene with Neo's Jabber Walker clones and Ruby has her mental breakdown and identity crisis. I don't see Pyrrha blaming Ruby for what happened to the Paper Pleasers despite her immense sorrow for the loss of her only friends she had during her time in the Ever After. Her experiences with the Paper Pleasers would have been way different too because there's no way she'd be a gold-hearted tyrant like Jaune was painted out to be. I do see Ruby blaming herself and still running off anyway because she feels like a burden and a failure as a leader. I didn't enjoy the way Jaune was the center of focus when Ruby was very clearly in a dangerous state of mind and I'm positive Pyrrha would have picked up on it right away and address it to Ruby's team after the fact and not go off on her for not doing enough.

Team RWPY would go on the search for Ruby and still find her in Neo's torture dungeon, which would have been just as painful to watch, especially from Pyrrha's point of view. Ruby having to watch Pyrrha die in Vol.3 and now she had to witness Ruby "die" in Vol. 9 is kind of a trippy coincidence that fits so well. The only difference being Pyrrha immediately taking the initiative to find Ruby before the cat does and the final battle being way more epic. Jaune certainly gained a lot of battle experience throughout the series, but Pyrrha was always ahead of him in that respect and without a doubt would have sharpened her skills to perfection while she was on her own in the Ever After. Ruby emerges as a new version of herself, they defeat the Curious Cat, Neo ascends, and all of the girls finally get to go home together, hand in hand.

I can even go as far as to say this would have made Vol. 9 Beyond so much better too. Picture it, Team RWBY and Pyrrha leaving the portal and the first person to see them is Jaune. The potential for Arkos here is so strong it kills me inside! They'd have a raw moment between each other, there'd be lots of crying on Jaune and maybe even Pyrrha's part too, a long hug, and most definitely a romantic kiss that would have tied their relationship arc together in such a perfect way. It would have brought Pyrrha back and that's honestly all I want.

Of course, this is all just for shits and giggles, but I'd love to hear what y'all think or if you have something else to add! ^-^

[dyns33]

The PA

Since I don't have Netflix I never watched The Bubble but I heard of Dieter Bravo, and I have to say I like Dieter Bravo, he's a fool, I had to write about him.

In life, there were some things that were mysterious and that no one could understand, like evolution, string theory, or how the relationship between Dieter Bravo and Y/N worked.

When she had been hired as his new PA, more than ten people had already left the position in less than a year, no longer able to stand the actor's eccentricities.

It hadn't always been easy for Y/N at first. She could see perfectly why the others had fled. This man was truly unique, for good reasons as well as for many bad ones.

Totally addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, Dieter Bravo could be ridiculous, stupid, selfish, loud, invasive, rude, unbearable. And at the same time, he was incredibly kind, with his lost and innocent look, agreeing to apologize even when he absolutely did not understand what he had done wrong.

"No, Mr. Bravo."

"Why ?"

"Why don't I want to sleep with you ?" Y/N sighed, keeping her cool even though she had known him for barely an hour. "I'm your employee, it's not professional."

"Why ?"

"Because it involves power relations that mean you could abuse your position to force me to sleep with you or I'll be paid less or fired, I could sue you for harassment, and even if it worked well, there would necessarily be a time when it would disrupt the smooth running of our work together."

"… Why ?" Dieter continued to ask, staring at her chest like a child staring at a cake he wasn't allowed to eat.

"I just explained why, Mr. Bravo."

"Yeah, but you don't like me ? We're hot, you seem smart, and I'm not going to do what you said about abusing the position or whatever."

"Still no, thanks."

"Oh. Okay."

He didn't insist, that day anyway, because he asked her the question several times a week, like asking someone if they wanted a coffee, taking each refusal in stride and looking for someone else to ask.

Y/N eventually got used to it, after understanding that he really wasn't going to try to force her, just trying his luck whenever he had the opportunity or the desire. This behavior, strange for others, was normal for Bravo.

What wasn't normal for him was obeying. The first time Y/N had asked him to learn his lines instead of having fun and he had taken the script mumbling to go sit in a corner, it had surprised a few people.

Then, after several months, when it had appeared that the simple mention of her name could calm the actor down, even when he was having a bad trip, she had been seen by everyone as a miracle.

"I refuse to touch this little human !"

"This baby, Dieter…" the director mumbled. "And you have to, it's important for the movie."

"Never !"

"Where's Y/N ?"

"It's her day off !"

"Ah. Well, I called her and she wants you to take the baby."

"… Y/N said that ?"

"Yes."

"Really ?"

"Yes."

"… I'll call her to check."

Except in these cases of extreme emergencies, Dieter didn't bother her during her free time, but he couldn't do without her the rest of the time, clinging to her like a koala and insisting that she follow him everywhere, in Europe, in Vegas, at his aunt's.

For many, they had been married for over 3 years now. This might seem true to Y/N, who had absolutely no time to think about finding someone with all the work she had, but it was known that Dieter Bravo slept with everyone.

Maybe it was the fact that he liked her so much without her having slept with him that proved that he cared for her.

So it took everyone a little while, her first, to realize what was happening in the middle of an interview for his latest film. When the journalist had asked him about his romantic life, Dieter's answer had made his colleagues laugh.

"Oh, you know, since I got married, I'm the happiest man alive."

"Married ? Really ? I didn't know ! Can we know who the lucky one is ?"

"Of course !" Dieter said happily with a huge smile. "She's right here ! Y/N ! She's my PA, I can't do anything without her. Hey, Y/N, do you want to come on set with me, on my lap ? No ? No, she doesn't want to, she's shy."

When he returned to his dressing room, Y/N didn't mention it, thinking he was joking. But something inside her was screaming at her to ask, because the actor looked way too serious sharing this information.

Showing her disinterest as best she could, she asked him about the date of their supposed wedding, and he still stated with as much joy that it had been seven months.

"Seven months, one week, two days, and… five hours ! I look at our pictures and the certificate whenever I'm sad."

"Of course, Dieter. You know, there's a difference between dreams and rea… Seven months ? Wait, seven months ?"

"Yes. Vegas is really wonderful."

Y/N had always refused to lose her composure around Dieter. He could drink, smoke, do drugs, party as much as he wanted, she remained sober and ready to take him back to his hotel room safe and sound.

The only time she hadn't followed this rule was during their trip to Vegas. Very persuasive, the actor had almost begged her to have some fun, because he was all alone and if a man drank alone, it meant he had a problem.

She had woken up alone in her bed, still dressed, with a terrible hangover, while Dieter slept in the bathtub. Logically, she had thought that nothing had happened.

"Nothing happened !" he reassured her immediately, seeing her shocked expression. "You were drunk. I don't sleep with drunk people, even when I'm drunk myself. Months, this is the longest wedding night in the world, right ?"

"Why didn't you tell me ?!" Y/N said indignantly, not finding the situation funny at all.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't think… Well, yes, I knew you'd panic and be ashamed. It was just a paper, so I figured it wasn't that bad as long as one of us didn't want to marry someone else."

For once in his life, Dieter Bravo wasn't completely wrong, even if it was on a completely crazy and delicate subject. They would have to deal with this problem at some point but it wasn't a priority issue.

Y/N didn't panic too much, and most importantly she wasn't ashamed. There were thousands of drunken idiots getting married by mistake in Vegas, it was more fun than anything else. The media and fans would laugh about it for a few weeks and then they would find something else to talk about.

Except that after three months, people were still talking about it. She could feel the looks on her, she could hear the whispers, and the worst part was that they weren't laughing, not at all. They felt sorry.

"Poor thing…" a makeup artist was saying. "She's so beautiful, so smart. Do you think he's making her drink on purpose to trap her in a relationship ?"

"No, he's not smart enough for that. But telling everyone like that ? That's terrible."

"She'll probably file for divorce and get loads of money, she deserves it. She's put up with him for so long, I don't know how she does it. I'll be long gone."

Not once since she started as his PA had Y/N thought about leaving Dieter. He was special, but that made her job much more exciting and fun than it would have been with another actor. He could be exhausting sometimes, but so adorable that it wasn't so bad.

If he hadn't been her boss, she could have fallen under his spell. If she was honest, she had never thought about that kind of thing with him, because it was really unprofessional. And now they were married.

"He's panicking again…" the director mumbled as he walked behind her. "We're going to spend hours on a single scene. Can someone go get him some coke ?"

"Hasn't he done any yet ?"

"No. The mister is careful now, the mister has changed since he got the ring on his finger. As usual, he's talking nonsense."

She had noticed it, but now that she was really paying attention, it was true that Dieter had been drinking less in the last few months, he was taking fewer drugs and he was trying to behave himself during filming and interviews. On the private side, it had also been a while since he had been on the front page of gossip magazines alongside a new lover or for having participated in an orgiastic party. In fact, about since Vegas.

When she entered the dressing room, Dieter was rereading his text while tapping his foot and biting his nails, repeating the same sentences over and over again without conviction. Looking up in the mirror, he gave a sad smile without turning around.

It was quite pathetic. But he really wanted to do well, she knew that, and knowing that others were criticizing him didn't please her at all.

"I'm going to fail. I'm not going to succeed, Y/N. It's going to be a disaster, they're all going to make fun of me, because I'm a loser."

"Dieter, breathe."

"But what if I forget my lines ? What if I'm ridiculous ? What if I…"

Like in the stupid romantic movies he had starred in to pay his bills before his Oscar, he stopped talking when Y/N kissed him. She tried not to think about how nice it was or how she had butterflies in her stomach, to focus on her goal.

"You're going to be great, like always." she said, patting his shoulders. "Stop stressing."

Frozen, looking at her as if she were a mirage or crazy, Dieter watched her leave without moving from his chair.

He came back to life as he walked past the camera, knowing his lines by heart and achieving a perfect scene from the first take, which surprised everyone, him first if you could read his expressions.

Receiving the perplexed congratulations from the director, he jumped for joy and skipped over to Y/N to hug her.

"I did it, I did it ! Did you see ?!"

"Yes, I saw Dieter, you were perfect."

"It's thanks to you, I… You know, since we got married, I do everything not to embarrass you. Even if no one knew we were married before, not even you. So I decided no more parties, no more alcohol, only soft drugs when things are really bad…"

"And no more orgies ?" joked Y/N, knowing how much he loved sex.

"Of course not, I'm faithful ! I love you… Well, I mean ! I like you ! You're cool, and patient, and pretty… Pretty good at your job ! Okay, I admit, even if I'm talented and have lots of toys, being single is hard. I understand better why the priest I played in that series was the bad guy. But the abuse of the position and allt that, I know. I'll find something."

"I'm free tomorrow night."

"… Why ?" he asked like the sweet idiot he was.

"For a date, Dieter. And possibly end the longest wedding night in the world."

"… You're the best PA/wife in the galaxy !"

When they still weren't divorced after a year of marriage, everyone considered that the only way to explain Dieter Bravo and Y/N's relationship was that they were both a little crazy.

But since they looked happy, and the actor had calmed down a bit, it must have been an inexplicable good thing.

[giggly-squiggily]

A Monstrous Craving: First Selection (Blue Lock)

Such an intense gif oh my-

Hey y'all! Happy April Fools Day! I don't really have any strong feelings about the day, but since today is one of hi-jinks and shenanigans, I figured why not make the most mischievous Blue Lock character of all a fic to celebrate?

This is part 1 of 2 fics I'm writing: This one takes place during the First Selection with Team Z, while the second one will take place during Second Selection (No spoilers in either, just lots of Bachira tickle-related shenanigans) I hope you like it!

CW: Swearing, gang tickles

Summary: Bachira wakes up with only one goal in mind; become the Ultimate Blue Lock Tickle Monster.

Bachira Meguru was a simple, if not whimsical boy.

He loved taking naps throughout the day. He enjoyed canned pineapple and a warm bowl of rice in the morning. He likes drawing dolphins on his things and adores Soccer with every thread in his body.

Oh, and he loved messing with his teammates.

How could he not? 11 different personalities essentially locked in the same room- it was bound to happen, this sudden craving of messing with them. Bachira hadn’t planned it- he simply woke up one morning with a single thought in mind.

“Today- I’m gonna get them all.”

~~~

Fingers worked meticulously through silky red strands. Chigiri was half out of it- despite a shower and leg care that morning, his brain wasn’t quite on yet. The good thing about his current hairstyle was he did it so many times these days it became muscle memory, so there was no need to fight for a spot in the bathroom mirror.

Bachira sat behind him, mesmerized as he worked. He loved watching hair braiding- he used to watch his mom do the same thing to her own hair before gathering her paints, his little boy brain blown as she smoothed it down into a single neat rope. Even now, he couldn’t help but be amazed by how effortless Chigiri made it look.

But right now wasn’t the time to gawk. He had a small window of opportunity.

This hairstyle required both arms up and out of the way, giving Bachria the perfect place to attack. He waited until Chigiri was tucking the last bobby pin against the base before shooting his hands out, going straight for the armpits.

“AH!” Chigiri squealed, falling backwards with a high-pitched yelp. Then he was laughing, squirming to and from against Bachira’s chest as he tried blocking out the mischievous fingers. “Gehahahahahaha! Noooo! Nohoohoho, don’t you dahhahahhare!”

“Good morning, ChiChi! How are you today? Aww, are you ticklish?” Bachria cooed, watching his cheeks go red as he covered his face in mirth, feet kicking. “What lovely hair- is it secure? Just testing out the endurance of it!”

“Bahhahahahchira, cohoohohome ohoohohohon!” Chigiri cried out, all but squeaking when those hands lowered to his ribs. “Plehhahahahhahahse!”

“Hehe, okay~” Bachira retreated, standing up and leaving a now exhausted Chigiri gasping for air against the floor. His hair- to Bachira’s satisfaction- remained the same. “Test complete- that’s a strong braid you got going on! Okay- bye bye!” He turned to leave, barely hearing Chigiri’s muffled curse as he went to find his next victim.

~~~

“Hm?” Gagamaru blinked when he felt a tap on his arm, turning to find-

Nothing. There was no one there.

“Is that you, Naruhaya?” He asked casually, figuring the tiny player was hiding in his blind spot. Another tap, this one on his elbow. He turned, and still- there was no one. “I’m not giving you food. I don’t even have any on me right now.”

Silence. Maybe he was being haunted?

Wouldn’t be the first time.

Another tap, this one on his lower back. Twisting- he found Naruhaya sitting by. “Found you!” He ran up, missing the fact the younger boy was sitting way too far to be the culprit, and grabbed his sides- squeezing gently. “What are you up to, you food thief?”

“Aheheahhahahaha! Whahahhahait, I dihihihiidn’t ehehehehven mohohohohove!” Naruhaya cried, cheeks flushing an adorable shade of pink as he squirmed and giggled in Gagamaru’s clutches. “I prohohoohoohmise!”

“Yeah right- you keep tapping me and running. I know your tricks.” Gagamaru moved a hand to his belly, making him squeal. “Confess, and I’ll let you be.”

“BUUHUHUHUT I DHIIHIHIHN’T DOOHOOHOH IT!”

“Keep on saying that-” Something brushed his shoulders, making the bigger boy shoot up. Forgetting to tickle, he turned- finding nothing once more. Okay- he was definitely haunted.

“What’s going on? Are you bullying Naruhaya, Gaga-chan?” Bachira tsked, walking up with a secret smile. Ah- there’s his ghost. “That’s not very nice of you. Naru-chan? Wanna get him back?”

“Yehehahhahah!” Naruhaya didn’t need to be told twice, already standing.

“Wait…don’t do it…” Gagamaru held up his hands, but the pair were already on him, fingers flying over his torso. He tried fighting back, but then Bachira found that same spot against his shoulder blades and it was all over. “Oh nohohohoohohooho!”

“Oh yes!” Bachira giggled, stepping back as Naruhaya took over, giggling along with him. Good luck, Gaga-chan! Now, who's next…?”

~~~

“X”

“Oh come ON!”

“What? ‘X’ is a fair guess!”

“Just how many words do you know that have an ‘X’ in them?”

“Xenomorph, X-Ray, Excalibur-”

“IT’S SIX LETTERS!”

“Guys, calm down.” Kuon sighed from his spot, shaking his head as he drew a foot on the hanging stick figure. “Unfortunately, ‘X’ is not on the list. Wanna buy a vowel?”

“Told you.” Raichi rolled his eyes at Iemon, crossing his arms across his chest as he glared at the notepad. So far, the six spaces contained a “O”, a “T” and a “R”. “Eh..sure. Give me a- “YEE!”

“‘YE’ is two letters.” Kuon raised a brow. “Which one?”

Raichi twisted around, rubbing his sides. He swore someone just poked him in the ribs. “Hang on- What the hell, Iemon? Why are you trying to sabotage?”

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” The goalie squawked in shock, eyes widening at the accusation. “Tell him, Kuon!”

“Really- he didn’t move.” Kuon nodded, tilting his head. “What’s up?”

“...Nothing- forget it. I’m guessing ‘E’” Raichi waved it off, a pinch of smugness in his chest when Kuon wrote it in. “See? I’m good at guessing!”

“If you're so good, why not go for the word then?” Iemon asked, turning to the paper. “Actually- I’ll do it. I know the answer!”

“Take a shot!” Kuon got ready. Iemon opened his mouth to speak-

And what came out was a string of giggles.

“...What?” Raichi blinked when the other settled, face on fire.

“I-something- that was…” Iemon stammered. “Nevermind. I’m guessing..’P’?”

“Close, but no.” Kuon popped the marker cap, going to draw a leg. “Not a bad gue-AHH!” His hand slipped, cutting across the paper when he felt two fingers drill into the center of his ribs. Now the little stick man had an elongated broken leg. “What the-”

“Ah! Fuhuhuhuck! No dohoohohn’t!” Raichi hooted when hands attacked his hips, squeezing from behind. Iemon blinked, catching a blur of brown-blond hair.

“Bachi-Gahahhahahaha!” Iemon spasmed when his ribs were once again attacked, this time lingering. “Whahahhahahht?”

“Huh? What-Ehehehehehehhe! Kuon arched with a giggle, notepad flying out of his hands as he tried guarding his armpits, feeling them prodded at.

It went as quickly as it came, leaving the three to stare at one another in wide eyed shock.

What the hell just happened?

~~~

Kunigami let out a slow breath as he positioned himself parallel to the mats. His muscles pulsed, sweat dripping off his bare chest as he began his one armed pushups. The gym was uncharacteristically quiet- usually one or two people would wander in at this hour to get a quick run or lift some weights. Today- Kunigami figured- everyone else was simply too tired to do it.

“KUNI!”

“SHIT-”

Nevermind then.

Bachira laughed gleefully as he watched Kunigami faceplant, groaning softly against the worn-in mats. “Wow- look at you, using one arm! Trying to show off?” He waltzed over and grabbed a nearby towel, tossing it across Kunigami’s back before taking a seat. “Why not wait until he comes in?”

Kunigami didn’t ask who “he” was, nor did he complain about the additional weight against his back. Instead, he adjusted himself so he was pushing with both hands, resuming his workout. “I don’t just do this for attention, Meguru. I do it because I love it.” Kunigami grunted some as Bachira adjusted, lying across his back and evening out the weight distribution.

“But you like it though? ChiChi watching you?” He teased, grinning when Kunigami’s neck flushed.

“...Maybe.”

“Admit it!” Bachira giggled, dropping his hands down and clawing at the softer parts of Kunigami’s belly. “You like ChiChi watching you!”

“Ah!” Kunigami yelped as he hit the mat again, catching himself on his elbows so he didn’t break Bachira’s fingers. “Stahahhap! Stop thahahhahat! Bahahhachiraahhahaha!”

“Admit it first! You like Chigiri! Say it! Say it!” Bachira cooed at him, hanging on as the other tried twisting this way and out of his grip. “Say it or I won’t stop tickling you!”

“Ahehahha! Fihiihihne! Pfft- Geahhaha! Fihiihihine, you wihiihhiihn!” Kunigami cried, tapping the mat repeatedly. “I like hiihihim, now stahhahap!”

Bachira did as promised, pulling his hands back and standing. “Knew it. Don’t wait too long to tell him now. He just might like you back.”

“Like who back?” As if the devil himself had been called. Bachira grinned at Chigiri’s confused expression, winking at Kunigami as he made his way towards the door.

~~~

“Want some?”

“No way.”

“Come on!” Igarashi groaned, bowing his head in plea as he presented his pickled radish. “One trade? I won’t ask again!”

“Dude, no way! Pickled Radish makes my breath stink. How the hell am I to pick up girls like that?” Yudai shook his head, leaning away from the dish. “Besides- it’s not like I’ve got anything better.” On his own tray were two soft boiled eggs. “I’m starting to hate eggs…”

“It’s not like we’re going to be meeting any girls while we’re here! Plus it taste’s alright!” Igarashi gave him his best big eyes. “I haven’t had soft boiled eggs on rice in so long! I’m craving them!”

“Move up in rank and you’ll have them then.” Yudai rolled his eyes, breaking a yolk over his rice. His stomach turned at the sight. “Nevermind. Here.” He traded.

“Yes! Thank you so much, Yudai! I’ll never forget you after you eventually lose!” Igarashi cheered, taking his eggy rice.

“What the hell does that even mean?” He rolled his eyes before taking the radish. Well- at least it was new.

“Hey guys!” Bachira bounced over, leaning in so he was between them. “Whatcha doing?”

“Making ourselves like this stuff.” Yudai poked at his tray, nose twitching as Igarashi devoured his rice. “Hey, do you like pickled Radish?”

“Mm..nah.” Bachira shook his head. “But you know what I do like?”

“What?” Yudai raised a brow, Igarashi putting down his bowl in equal curiosity.

No warning was given. Bachira simply put his arms around both their waists and attacked.

“AH! Ahehahahahhahaha, nohohohohoho come ohohohohn mahahhahahan!” Yudai cried out, nearly drowned out by Igagauri’s own wails of mirth.

“Gheahhahahahahahha! Nohohoohooho! Dohoohohohohn’t I’m tihiihihhicklish!”

“Are you now? Man, you two are so quiet- I nearly forgot you were here!” Bachira cooed sweetly, moving his hands to their bellies and earning even more squeals and laughs. “I need to do this more often, he he he~”

He pulled away, not before reaching out and stealing an egg. Smiling at the taste, he turned to his own tray, placing his plate of abandoned udon between them. “Thanks boys!”

Igarashi’s complaints about the egg were quickly forgotten as he and Yudai thanked him relentlessly, spitting the dish. Bachria grinned as he headed out.

Only one more person to go.

~~~ “So what do you wanna work on?” Isagi asked as they walked out to the field, stretching his arms. “Speed? Dribbling? Scoring?”

“Actually- I wanna work on something new.” Bachira walked up, an easy grin on his lips. The lack of a soccer ball should have been Isagi’s warning. “I wanna work on blocking.”

“Blocking? Alright.” Isagi shrugged, figuring they really didn’t need one then. “Like, blocking an approach or pushing past one?”

Bachira didn’t respond, only continued to smile. Isagi felt himself twitch, suddenly unsure of himself. “Erm..Bachira?”

“Hey, Isagi.”

“...Yeah?”

There was a flash, and suddenly the world was upside down. Isagi smelled the grass before he hit it, barely registering the feeling before he was dragged under again with waves of ticklishness.

“Ah! Aheahhahahahhahaha! Whahahahhait, whahahahhahait- Bahhhahachira!” Isagi cried, kicking his feet and twisting about as Bachira’s fingers flew against his ribs, focusing towards the center as he slowly began his descent towards his lower set. “Whahhahahaht the heheheheheehell?”

“I saved you for last, Isagi-chan~ I wanted to hear you laugh the most today!” Bachira cooed sweetly at him, going right for that awful spot on the lowest rib. Isagi arched with a shriek, laughter blossoming out of his lips as his squirms increased. “I wanna hear you squeal like a pig!”

“BAHAHHAHAHCHIRA, STAHHAHAHAHAHAP!” Isagi wailed, cheeks on fire and eyes wet with mirth. He pushed with his heels, trying in vain to get away. His hands circled Bachria’s wrists, gently tugging. “OHOOOHKAY STAHHAHAHP!”

Giggling, Bachira pulled back, resting his hands gently against Isagi’s belly as the other gasped for air, smiling warmly at him. “Hehe, you’re adorable, Isagi-chan.”

“Heh…hehehe…” Isagi rolled his eyes, moving his own hands up from Bachria’s wrists to his hands, holding them within his own. “Tehehhell me…dihiihd you actually wahahhant to train?”

“Nope!” Bachira popped the “P”, grinning. “But since we’re here, we can do something else~”

Isagi raised a brow, sitting up. “And that is…?”

Bachira’s lips silenced any questions he had as they pressed gently into his own. Not that he was complaining.

~~~

The day was long but rewarding, and Bachira giggled himself silly as he tugged on his sweats, fresh out of the shower. The entire time, he kept replaying the highlights in his head, his lips still tingling from Isagi’s kiss. The perfect ending to a fairly mischievous day.

And yet…he couldn’t shake the feeling something was missing. The smallest detail to make the day even greater than it was.

As he walked into the main room, watching the boys set up for bed, it hit him.

Quite literally.

“Grab him!” Raichi called, and Bachira turned on his heels, running for the door. Just a few more steps- “Nope! Chigiri was before him, his speed proving useful beyond the soccer field. A second of hesitation proved all that the other’s needed; Bachria squeaked when arms came around his waist, hiking him up and off the floor.

“Sorry, Bachira- but not really.” Gagamaru sounded deeply amused as he unceremoniously dropped him into a pile of futons. “You brought this on yourself.”

Bachira went to mock-argue, but all that came out were giggles of anticipation as the rest of the team came around him, Kunigami’s hands gathering his wrists in a gentle but firm hold as Isagi took his rightful seat across his lap. At least his back was protected. For now.

“Ready?” Isagi asked, raising his hands with wiggling fingers. On each side of him, Raichi cracked his knuckles while Chigiri giggled softly in his hands. Behind them, someone grabbed his ankle-possible Kuon, maybe Iemon? It really didn’t matter in a minute.

“Ahehehe- hohohold on! Wahhahait, wahhahit.” Bachira giggled out, willing his heart to slow. It didn’t- the pause only made his anticipation worse. “Neehhehevermind, just doohohoho it!”

“Eager, aren’t we?” Kunigami teased as they looked to Isagi to make the call. With an unfairly long pause, Isagi smirked.

“Get’em!” He shouted, and Bachira burst into howls of mirth as multiple hands attacked at once. Isagi took the lead going right for the ribs while Rachi drilled into his hips. Chigiri- oh that devil- he slipped his hands beneath him so he could claw at his back! His legs weren’t any better- someone’s hand danced along his sole while the other squeezed his knee and calf like they were playing guitar. Kunigami, much to his credit, didn’t attack- instead opting to keep Bachria’s arms up and out of the way. That, however, didn’t stop Naruhaya from slipping under his arm so he could give his neck and ears a few playful scribbles.

“GHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!”

Teases and jeers were thrown at him, but he could barely think beyond just how ticklish it all was. He didn’t know if he was pleading for mercy or simply laughing- everything was a bit of a blur. Had it been a minute or ten? Was he still in this universe or had he transcended into a new one?

“Okay- STOP!” Isagi called, and instantly the hands retracted. Noise returned- he could hear the others laughing around him, cooing at him sweetly or jeering about how he had it coming. In the corner of his eye, he could see Kunigami gently prod at Chigiri earning a swat and a halfhearted glare.

It was all nice, but nothing beat seeing Isagi above him, blue eyes like the sky he so rarely saw since coming to Blue Lock. A smile played on his face as he reached out, cool fingers gently brushing sweaty bangs off his face. A pair of even softer lips followed, pressing gently along his brow before he climbed off, mumbling something about getting the dribbler some water.

“Best day EVER!” Igarashi cheered, earning a chorus of both “Hell Yeah!”s and “Shut the hell up!”s. Bachira giggled breathlessly as he curled beneath the futon he laid upon, watching the rest of them find their own. He felt light and dizzy and giggly and warm. So comfortably warm, like he was lying in his favorite spot at his Mom’s art studio. Isagi reappeared, water in hand, crawling beneath the blankets and pulling the smaller boy close.

“You okay?” Isagi asked in his hair, his hand brushing his back in a soothing gesture. “We didn’t go too far, did we?”

Too tired to talk, Bachira shook his head, feeling Isagi relax against him. His mind was halfway to dreamland, the rest of Team Z fading away until he could only hear Isagi’s heartbeat. “Thanks for making my day better, Yoiichi.”

Maybe he said it out loud. Maybe he dreamed about it. Bachira would never know. All he remembered was the sound of Isagi’s heart racing faster, the arms around him tightening some with such care.

He dreamed of endless blue skies that night.

Thanks for reading!

[cherryys]

I keep turning 268 in my head over and over and reading multiple prespectives but something with it is just not settling right with me. I can't explain it, but the way certain plot points have been resolved about megumi's character is so sloppy and rushed.

right now I'm trying to make sense of the letter. I've already said before that it was supposed to resolve the plot point of megumi being told about toji but it's badly done because of the setup, but I'm also realizing now that this letter is a bad (presumed) send-off and resolution for gojo and megumi's relationship, too. why would gojo's last words to megumi be about toji only? I still don't get it. sure he always wanted to tell megumi about toji it was a thing that had always bothered him, but. these are gojo's last words to megumi, and out of all the unsaid between them, he chooses to go on about his dad instead? how about telling him about what you thought of him this entire time? your dreams and expectations of him beyond just mastering his technique? anything about how you actually felt towards megumi not as just someone who could reach his potential, but someone who you've seen grow right before your eyes and even choose to want to save people because he's a good person? anything???? please???? it was bad enough that in 236 instead of literally saying anything about megumi, he just went "I never got to tell him about his dad"????? who fucking cares about his dad now???? why don't you instead take this character moment of self reflection and tell us what you actually thought of megumi????? it's driving me fucking nuts at how many missed opportunities gege had to elaborate on their relationship at ALL.

and megumi's reaction is pissing me off, too. not only were we robbed of any moment where megumi actually reacts and processes his mentors death by his hands, he never even acknowledges it. it's like it never even happened. and what does a laugh tell me??? this could've been the perfect excuse for gege to shift the focus onto megumi's thoughts on gojo as a whole beyond just a "benefactor". could've had a monologue or ANYTHING. but a laugh????? what??? and this is the last thing about gojo and megumi's relationship or dynamic in general I'm assuming, unless seeing yuuta in gojo's body is going to trigger something within megumi (though I highly doubt it). and we still get. nothing. it's such a disservice to what was built up and shown before, however minimal it was. the implicit trust they had in each other even if they weren't emotionally connected, megumi's complete trust in gojo's abilities and how he'll be able to fulfill his requests if need be (trusting gojo by telling him he wanted to save yuuji in CH.1 even though it goes against regulations), gojo's complete trust in megumi and his decisions (saving yuuji in CH.1). the fact that these are the only examples we have of their relationship should tell you how terrible it was done and barely given screentime, and how worse it was capped off by that stupid letter. maybe I was asking for too much but we got too little in terms of their relationship and it sucks

[fachefaucheux]

2025 goals! WriteFest wrap up!

So! An arbitrary turning of the calendar page means it's time for recaps and new goals, right?

Not necessarily, but the fact that we're still (just barely) within that liminal holiday space where many people are doing the mental equivalent of standing around on the platform with their hands in their pockets waiting for the next train full of responsibilities and obligations to hit the station is as good of an opportunity as ever to evaluate and regroup.

First things first -- what happened with that whole WriteFest thing? A mixed bag, really. I managed to write 100k in 44 days easy peasy. 250k, though, was a bridge too far, at least when coupled with my dissertation proverbially looming over my shoulder every time I sit down to write. I'm hoping that next year the awesome folks over at 4thewords might consider adding another goal somewhere in between 250k and 100k -- 150k, maybe? Or even 200k might work -- that would still "feel" like a stretch/ambitious target, but not be as insane as nearly 6k a day for a month and a half. I am blessed/cursed to be a quick writer; once I'm locked in on a scene or a chapter, I can draft at a truly horrifying rate. (Horrifying for Editor Memento off nursing her fifth bottle of the week off in the corner, that is.) I started doing 100k challenges a few years back whenever a word count based challenge came up, just because the usual 50-60k target is...basically my usual monthly output without putting in any coordinated effort. 

Looking back at my stats for 2024, the numbers bear that out. I had three months this year that I was in the 40k range (the months surrounding moving, which is a trial I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy), but the rest were all over 50k. In some cases, well over. I tapped out on the 31st having written 713k this year -- not too shabby, even if half those words rightly should be deleted in the editing process.

Rather than focusing on more short-term word count goals in 2025, I'm going to mainly be keeping my eyes on a year long goal of finally having a one million word year. Of course, I'll still happily snap up any monthly/weekly challenge that comes my way, because my brain functions slightly better with a timer running, but the yearly goal is going to be the big one. I'll check back in at the midpoint of the year to see if this is still feasible, since heaping failure on yourself isn't real great, but it seems fairly doable, provided I don't die in the climate wars in September or something, lol.

But I've also got some non-word count goals. Those being:

- Finish the first full draft of Canticle vol 1 (the siren song of the editing loop is screaming at me at the moment, but I will not give in!)

-Finish the remaining handful of short stories and final volume of the Niv/Yule story arc

-Give More Whiskey Than Blood a proper edit and attempt to hunt down some beta readers for it

-Start those edits on the first volume of Canticle, depending on if I find a good drafting vs. editing balance

-Begin research on/start drafting Canticle vol 2

-If I stall out on any of these projects, I am allowed to start drafting one (1) new character/pairing story, as a treat. (Thinking it will be the Country Thief vs. City Thief romance, since that one, like the Niv/Yule arc, is way more "romance-y" and easier to write than any of the stories I have kicking around that will involve a lot of non-romance plot shenanigans and research. But the djinn revolution story will one day come! Probably when I'm not working on another lore/plot heavy arc.)

-Also finally make my Patreon page look halfway decent, as I might be using it as a place to dump side-stories (not behind a paywall, just as a place where it won't clutter up another story index), but not sure yet.

In short, although this year will still involve a lot of drafting, it will also be the first time in a long while that I've set my mind on doing Serious Amounts of Editing. I hate editing with a fiery passion. It is painful. It is tedious. I hate the story more and more with every page I go over. Half of it is because I just don't like being forcibly exposed to the worst parts of my own writing, but the other half is forcing myself to Think Like A Reader and not succumb to all of my self-indulgent whims/preferences. And making compromises, judgement calls, sort of -- what elements of the story are likely not going to be most readers' cuppa, but are crucial to what I'm trying to do, and which ones are just me being stubborn about my collection of trifling annoyances that I avoid in writing out of sheer spite.

I'll give you an example. I have a petty, unreasonable, knee-jerk dislike of having information presented to me in fiction in a straightforward fashion. It makes me feel like I'm being talked down to. "Oh, you don't think I could have figured out Jumbo Maximus is the ruler of The Wasteful Wastes myself if I'd just kept going? Or that I didn't pick up on him having some ancient beef with Slim Minimus that makes him act like an ass all the time??? Fuck you, I'm not dumb! I'm quitting!" 

Yes. It is that petty and stupid. To give it a more positive slant, though, the more bewildering and strange a first chapter is, the more I'll want to read more. I draw the line at total, incomprehensible word salad, but it takes a lot for me to be put off rather than intrigued. The more questions a first chapter leaves open, the more excited I'll be to keep going. The end result of this knee-jerk dislike of mine is that I have a tendency to produce bewildering first chapters myself, convoluted chonkers that don't make sense for another 50 pages. This is not conducive to getting someone who doesn't run wholly on white monsters, nicotine, and spite to read a book. Thus, I must edit.

Which leaves the question of why I'm putting myself through the hell of editing...but I'll save my thoughts on why self-pub is a boon for people writing niche stories like mine for another day.

Anyway! Those are my goals. Do ya'll have any goals? Stay tuned later this week for another non-self-serving-promo-post in the vein of "Why I Love (and Write) Romance". Only this time...it's gonna be "In Defense of the Shadow Daddy".

[alarrytale]

Since there´s this new O on the scene whenever she´s about to become H´s new stunt or he´s just giving her some PR as the walking billboard as he his, I came across an opinion that he´s always giving his platform for women only. Of course, mostly because he got into business agreement to stunt with them but even if it isn´t about pr relationships, he barely gives this opportunity to male artists (except artists who play in his band). This past month was the only exception as he´s been seen with so many artists and attended many shows but that´s maybe because he finally got time to attend shows imo. Do you think it might be related to the fact that he´s closeted and showing too much support to male artists would be suspicious? Anyway I still can´t sort out my feeling toward if new stunt is coming. People are saying that she´s got long term bf (and they say he was at that festival as well) and you wrote that hshq friendzoned her but idk, still weird that he was spotted with her the same way as they launched h*ssell last year, she was immediately recognized by literally only her silhouette (= obvious set up outing) and now from all festivals across Europe he chose the one she played. When it comes to H´s stunts it doesn´t matter how long that woman was in relationship or if she literally has a family with her man (OW), she´s suddenly single when she´s around H and I´m sick of it but also I am preparing for the worst.

Some think Olivia Dean is going to be Harry’s new stunt-but it seems like her career is just fine, why would she need to? Also If it does happen there’s nothing we can do about it so why panic?

Hi, anons!

First of all, nobody is panicking, we're all just discussing possibilities and the probability of a new stunt happening, based on the information we have. It's stunt number 698 or something, so we're used to it. So please don't say we're panicking when we're not.

Her career is not "fine", because nobody knows who she is (until now). If nobody knows who she is she won't sell albums, get headlines and chart. She isn't known outside the UK and i think she's working on that by playing festivals etc. She absolutely needs the connection to H and the name recognition that comes with it.

Harry is stunting with women, because they act as a beard AND give him attention. A romantic narrative will also give him more attention and PR than if he were to fake a friendship with a man for PR. Harry's a womaniser and he picks up and coming women, because that's the only one willing to stunt with someone who a good part of his fanbase knows is queer. He's not helping them from the goodness of his heart. It's a you scratch my back and i'll scratch yours kind of situation. He needs a service they provide (straight alibi).

[crownedwille]

I'd love to hear about number 7, 15 and 21 from Secondary Character Ask 💙

07. Character you didn’t initially like/love but have now warmed up to

There's not one I can directly think of but August kind of... He was so infuriating to me in s1 specifically but his presence didn't annoy me as much in s2 and he even has some pleasant moments in it and I found him and his storyline even more interesting and intriguing in s3. I wouldn't say I like him as a person but I like him as a character and he has grown on me in a way.

15. Adult character whose teenage backstory would make the best spin-off series

This isn't anything new but Kristina. It would be sooo interesting to see her as a young girl (I can imagine her being pretty similar to Wille) and what her life was like as Crown Princess at Hillerska. I always wonder about her experience growing up and what her relationship with her parents was, especially her father, who was king and what the monarchy was like back then and what has changed since then and what her feelings and thoughts about it were. I can see her as resolute and goal-oriented but also soft and warm in ways that has slowly disappeared over the years. And she used to have fun canonically lol (maybe she even was known as a bit of a party princess in her days).

Also imagine young Pernilla August in this, it would be amazing! Oh, I wish we could go back in time so this spin off series could actually happen with her.

21. Most underrated character/ship/actor overall

Character: Sara. She is in the main cast but she is still underrated. And hated more than some other side characters so Sara it is.

Ship: Sara/August. Again, they are one of the main characters and main pairings but for that fact they are barely acknowledged and disproportionately hated. I don't really ship them strongly either but they are honestly such an interesting and kinda sweet pairing that I think deserves to be talked about and explored in depth more.

Actor: I don't wanna name another person from the main cast but maybe Nikita? I feel like we don't talk about her enough, she's so good.

Every one of the side characters actors is so good as well but I can't think of one I find specifically underrated. They all deserve recognition and many great acting opportunities in the future.

[dalmascan-requiem]

Lente's Hymn: Resistance - Chapter 5

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Things don't go as planned.

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Read on AO3 or keep reading after the jump

content warnings: none

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

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We're finally pushing more into the Bozja story. Lots of tension overall as Mikoto gets kidnapped... but for a change it's not the boys at each other's throats. Maybe the hurt feelings are cooling down a bit? (If they are they won't admit it)

"We're simply spread too thin as it is, we don't have the forces to launch an operation to save Mikoto…"

Kris's eyes narrow as he crosses his arms, the displeasure clear on his face. "Would you say the same if it was one of your countrymen, Marsak? Or do you leave them to the whims of traitors and Garleans as well?"

"How dare you…!" Marsak slams the table, his lips curling back as he regards the Warrior of Light. "You do not think we've had to leave our soldiers behind? That this is somehow different!? You would never underst–"

"I do understand." Kris's expression doesn't change, but his tone takes a sharp turn that brokers no further argument. 

"Enough." Bajsaljen shakes his head. "I understand your feelings, Blade Kris, but we cannot change facts. Our troops are too far split, and we're fighting the Garleans on too many fronts. We don't have the manpower to lay siege to the Castrum."

"At least we know where Mikoto is–and Misija clearly needs her for something, else she wouldn't be alive." But how are we to even make ground…? Laurent leaves the question unsaid–he knows he didn't need to voice it.

Kris stands silently for a moment, eyes closed, before speaking. "Fine. I'll resolve these other conflicts. Then, we can storm the Castrum."

The others in the command tent stare at him before Bajsaljen breaks the silence. "You… you mean to fight all these battles… alone?"

"Not alone, of course. I will need a partner." Kris's gaze lingers on Laurent shortly, then he shakes his head. "But I need Blade Elja to rest."

Laurent scoffs at the suggestion. "Ready to be rid of me at the first opportunity?"

He notices Kris's expression softens slightly–ever so slightly–but after he shakes his head again, the hard expression returns. "No, we'll need every man we can at the siege, and you've barely had time to sleep. I'll not have you falling over when I have need of you."

Kris taps a finger against his arm for a moment before continuing. "Blade Azetina suffered an injury recently, so Blade Slanasch has been idle. I'll take him in your stead." He nods, not waiting for any affirmation before turning to exit the tent.

"Wait." So frustrating… Laurent bites back the retort. "And what of you? You need rest, as well."

"I do not need rest. I simply need us to storm the Castrum as quickly as possible."

Kris leaves the tent before anyone has a chance to respond, and Marsak growls as he walks off. "Who does he think he is? Ordering people around–"

"He's the Warrior of Light, Marsak. Just let him do what he needs to do." Marsak stomps off after Bajsaljen's comment, and the Hrothgar sighs before turning to Laurent. "Can you tell me what exactly happened? Kris wasn't keen on giving the details…"

"Right…" Laurent lets a slow breath out, then begins recounting the day.

**~**

"Laurent."

"What is it?"

"Come here." Kris roughly grabs Laurent's arm and pulls him behind the tent, and he resists the urge to wrestle it back. What is he doing…?

Once they're away from the main area, Kris drops Laurent's arm and remains silent for a moment, concern evident on his face. Laurent crosses his arms, waiting for Kris to work out whatever he was going to say. 

"Makoto has found… I don't know how to describe it. I don't understand the technology." Kris waves a hand in frustration before continuing. "... She found some way to recharge the focus we used earlier to delve into Cid's memories. Misija is insistent on coming with us onto the battleground."

Laurent shakes his head. "...I don't see the issue, Kris. Misija is a soldier, even if she has spent most of her time at camp."

"It's just…" Kris frowned, taking another moment before continuing. "I don't have a good feeling about this. Misija isn't telling us something." His expression softens a bit as he looks away, staring at a spot on the ground. "I don't… want to ignore this feeling. I don't want something bad to happen again."

Again? Laurent didn't press it–now didn't seem to be the time to bring up painful memories. "What do you need me to do?"

Kris looks back at him, a faint look of shock on his face. "It didn't take much to convince you."

"Seems unwise to ignore the Warrior of Light's hunches."

"...Right. Of course." Kris's expression becomes unreadable. …Is he upset? Was he expecting something else…? "I need you to follow behind us. Make sure we're not walking into a trap, or be backup if I need it. I know you can do it… discreetly."

Laurent nods. "Fine. I'll make preparations."

He turns to leave but stops when he hears Kris speak again.

"Thank you, Laurent."

"Mm." As much as he wants to, he doesn't turn back around.

**~**

"But obviously, the plan didn't work. We underestimated Misija, and what she was willing to do to get that focus." Laurent sighs angrily. "I was waylaid by some Garleans meant to… ensure Misija did her job. Not that they needed to be there. You know the rest."

"I see…" Bajsaljen falls silent, processing the story. "It is undoubtedly a frustrating situation… we all trusted Misija. I don't know why she threw her lot in with the Garleans. But… if this is what spurs Kris and the other Blades to make ground, then we can take back the Castrum and save Makoto all the same."

"Perhaps you should fight your own battles instead of getting Kris to do it for you."

"...What was that, Blade Elja?" Bajsaljen bristled. …I did not mean to speak that out loud… but…

"Hells, you seem happy Mikoto was kidnapped, as if she's something to dangle in front of him so he'll do what you want. I just hope your inaction doesn't get them killed."

Laurent turns and leaves the tent. He hears Bajsaljen say something as he leaves, but he doesn't bother to stop to hear it.

[kyndaris]

An Introspective Lull in the Pursuit of Love

I have often found that it is quite easy for me to fall into new routines. Take this blog, for example. In the past, it would contain impressions of the games I'd played and finished, along with the occasional anecdotes I'd come up with that had been on my mind. As I started to date, many of my posts soon changed to revolve around my attempts to find love. But despite going at it for nigh on two years, I haven't felt closer to cracking the mystery that is romance even as I've flooded my weekly entries about my adventures.

As my love life dwindles though, I've been scrambling to find something fun and lighthearted to share with the dear readers I've accrued on my blog. Not that there's many.

Still, at least I now have the opportunity to opine about the state of the world or properly allow my errant thoughts some breathing room.

Of course, if you've read the title of this blog, you'll know that in this instance, my thoughts haven't strayed too far from the familiar.

Since I've started chronicling the dates I've gone on, it has come as no surprise that I don't regard myself as straight. There have been many a time wherein I've asserted that I sit somewhere on the asexual spectrum. But recent revelations on who I might be attracted to has had me scrambling on what it means to be in a relationship and the sacrifices one needs to make.

Although I've opened my preferences for all genders on Hinge, I've found it extremely hard to date or chat with people from unique backgrounds. Invariably, most of the people that tend to like my profile or who I actually respond are cisgender heterosexual men. Probably because they're the ones most active on the dating apps. And while conversations can start off strong, it almost always seems to fail. Whether it's because they're a bad texter and I find it hard to continue a conversation or they just stop responding altogether.

The only person I've kept up a steady communication with is Dikottir. And in fact, we might be venturing out to VIVID Sydney for a fifth date (at time of writing, VIVID has only just begun). But while this may seem promising, it comes with the caveat that we've technically met in person since August 2023, with our initial chat on Hinge back in July of that same year.

If ever there was a relationship that was the epitome of a slow burn, this would be it.

Perhaps it comes from the fact both of us have our own individual lives and interests. Or maybe neither of us know how to navigate the quagmire encapsulating relationships.

I know I certainly don't lead a very riveting life that requires constant chronicling/ updating to a third party I barely even know. Heck, not even my own mother asks me how my day has gone even after absconding to China and leaving me to care for my grandmother (although, if I'm being honest, there's not much to say on a daily basis anyways. I wake up, I work, I cook and then I go to bed after playing some video games).

Besides, it's not like I consider Dikottir my Roman Empire. There are just so many other things to preoccupy me: books, video games, shows, road trip planning...

To be fair, Dikottir has been nothing but a gentleman. But after years of having romance novels and films harp about a 'spark' or the 'chemistry' between two people, the word I'd use to describe my 'relationship' with Dikottir would be torpid. At best.

Still, I persist. Wondering if this 'thing' between us will ever work out. Although, if I was being truly honest with myself, I think it'll just end up being a friendship.

Hinge, and many other dating apps, simply aren't very conducive for me in building up a connection. Constant interactions in a shared environment or a neutral setting are some of the best places for me to slowly build up the foundation to a strong friendship.

And yet, there have been people I've met that I've felt an odd compulsive pull where I want to learn more about them. Alas, it's only happened with women. As I've detailed before in an earlier post, there have been women I've been drawn to, believing we could be the best of friends. Is that love? Or is it the makings of a crush?

I wish I knew. I wish there was a definitive definition of what it means to fall in love with someone so I could tick off the symptoms and diagnose myself with it instead of having people tell me: "you'll know it when it happens to you."

A part of me does want to believe this is me like-liking someone but discussions with Sorrengail, a fellow ace, has described these instances of obsession as a 'squish.' And, in almost all instances, my swift and sudden obsessive curiosity does fade.

But it is in those rare moments that I do wonder if there might be something more beyond the platonic.

These last few days, I've posited the theory to myself that maybe I'm questioning these 'squishes' as something more because my mind has been focused on trying to build relationships and finding a romantic partner. But the more I do, the more I fear what might become of an actual committed relationship.

How much of myself will I need to compromise? Will it have all been a waste of time if nothing eventuates? How do I know if someone likes me or not? What are the 'signals' that I should be looking out for?

I think for most people the start of a relationship is always fraught with a mixture of emotions: the desire to make a good impression and the fear the other person might not like the 'real' you. Especially if you immediately lean into the chaos gremlin dwelling inside the human exoskeleton.

It's certainly something I've thought about because even as a neurotypical person, I've often found myself portraying a heightened version of myself to different social circles. For example, I know I can't go into a deep dive about Kingdom Hearts lore at work because no-one else would appreciate the collision of Disney and Japanese role-playing games. And I don't talk about the books I read to many of my non-reader friends.

While these aren't exactly separate personas, these images of me that I project are tailored to the audience I'm with.

Yes, they are all me but they are me in different situations.

And there aren't many social circles where I feel comfortable enough to unleash the nose-booping, terrible picture-taking chaos gremlin menace that I really am on the inside. At least, I'm not comfortable with showing off that side of me.

Although, yes, there are people at work who know I'm a big massive nerd. And who are a little frightened of my ability to memorise addresses.

I also have a tendency of phrasing things terribly. So, there might be a subset of people I know who fear for their lives (looking at you Chinchilla) even though I wouldn't hurt a fly (that's a lie. I kill a lot of insects).

Jokes aside, I'm also worried I've entered this race for all the wrong reasons. Love isn't something to be pursued. You can't force it. It either comes naturally or it doesn't. But maybe, too, I need to stop being oh so cautious and just jump in with both feet if I do feel something.

As Ellie Chu, from the film The Half of It put it: love isn't patient and kind and humble. Love is messy and horrible and selfish and bold. It's not finding your perfect half. It's the trying and the reaching and failing. Love is being willing to ruin your good painting for the chance at a great one."

Maybe that's what I need to do. Instead of comparing and contrasting Hinge profiles to see who might be a good fit and letting my executive functioning do most of the work, I should lean into my instincts. Instead of fearing that a relationship won't work out, I need to fight in the trenches for it.

And whether or not love will hit me over the head with a hammer or sneak up on me like an assassin, I need to be open to it.

Easier said than done!

But hey, that's life, isn't it?

[edgepunk]

Okay so, some of the SM2 dust settled and I'm not gonna do a full breakdown of the story, I just wanna express some general feelings I've had.

I think, and call me crazy, that there was a lot more corporate meddling hence some of the very questionable choices - Miles' suit with Adidas shoes. Like. I saw someone call the suit a "walking billboard" and I couldn't agree more. Not to mention they introduced it at the most inappropriate time during a fucking apocalypse. And he called it a "Miles Morales original" even tho the entirety of his standalone game was all about stepping out of Peter's shadow. I get they were most likely working on the games at the same time, but do the writing teams not communicate with each other? Now SM:MM feels almost obsolete because of that line. This whole scene was an advertisement and it almost ruins the moment when Peter opens up to Miles. What the hell was the point?

The whole game feels...off. And that's mainly because most of the writers were different people, you can check it on IMBD. The first game felt like a passion project, this game felt more like they were going through a checklist of "big things" that needed to happen. Like, I'm not saying it's bad, because the game has a lot of great moments, but it's not on the same level as the first one. Like I said, it feels more corporate while the first game was clearly more of "okay we're gonna give you the IP and see what happens" and since the first game was such a success, they've had more suits breathing down their necks. I wouldn't put it past Sony that they've had them on a tighter leash. Because that's how it happens in the entertainment industry - a passion project becomes successful, the suits/investors see an opportunity to earn more money, give the creatives less freedom, and that's how we usually get the generic Hollywood slop.

I don't hate the game's story, it just feels clunky and less heartfelt compared to the first game. You can especially feel it during the third act, there was barely any breathing room and the player kept getting bombarded by big moments that were difficult to digest. The story needed to be a couple of hours longer, it felt undercooked and things kept happening too fast. It's still hard for me to believe that the events of the game happened in the span of a few days. Peter's corruption felt too fast too. Compare it to Otto's slow descent into villainy. Yeah. Why not make the events in the span of two-three weeks? Why days? To me, it's such an odd choice.

And a lot of relationships felt underdeveloped too - especially Harry and Norman's, which was supposed to be important to the story. Then, Norman suddenly calls Peter his son even though they barely interacted? And maybe I missed it (or forgot), but I haven't seen MJ and Peter talk about the fact that he almost killed her when he was out of control? < you can dispute this, because I genuinely can't recall them having a conversation about this. In fact, I forgot a lot of things, because too many things happened in this game.

tl;dr - story isn't bad, it needed more time in the oven and less Adidas advertisement