#or maybe barty is just silly

[katakosmos]

sometimes while reading gof i get the impression that jk rowling didn't write moody with the thought that he was supposed to be an undercover death eater

[jamespottersmixtape]

I blinked and now have the beginnings of rosekiller christmas fluff. I didn't see this for myself today

[crescenthistory]

saw ur post about all the angsty requests and i simply cannot let that happen so may i present my request of the lovely barty:

slytherin is throwing a party and barty is already there when reader gets there late but they can’t find each other bc it’s so crowded. but junior being, well him, he’s loud and brash and so some that’s a bad thing but to reader it’s so perfect.

i can imagine him standing on a table, maybe drunk, singing at the top of his lungs for his lovely treasure (reader) and when r does find him, they give him a light hearted scolding but thank him for always finding them in every crowd.

i love barty so much and when i imagine him in love, he’s IN LOVE and he’s so loud about it and it’s just perfect

- 🐈‍⬛

if nobody else has my back, i know komi has my back 🙏👯‍♀️ just a silly little drabble with our best boy

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, alcohol (firewhiskey), reference to smoking, slytherin party, pda, barty pov (so max chaotic energy), romanian!barty, kissing<3, slytherin skittles shenanigans all around

"You know, Junior," Dorcas drawled from where she was leaning against Marlene as one might lean on a wall. "You're supposed to at least pretend to enjoy spending time with your friends."

"Oh, come off it, Cassie," Barty replied while still not looking at her. His face was turned towards the ever-growing crowd in the Slytherin common room, eyes scanning. "You know I'd die for ya."

She mumbled something into her drink that Barty didn't quite catch, but Marlene apparently found hilarious.

"What's got him in a tizzy?" Regulus asked absentmindedly. Barty hadn't even noticed him reappear, but the sounds of liquids swishing revealed it was likely to get a drink and not to spend time with his lovely friends. Dorcas should really be scolding him.

"Y/N's not here yet." Marlene supplied it so matter-of-factly you might not have realised she is a recent addition to the group via Dorcas. Barty did not much care for her yet – but she wasn't wrong.

The two of you always attended parties together. Always had, since the first time Barty all but dragged you along and you found that you actually quite enjoyed them, as long as he was by your side. It had inflated Barty’s ego beyond what it probably needed to – according to Regulus, at least – but more importantly, it was one of the things that first made him feel secure in your relationship. Wanted, needed.

Barty was also at the point where he did not enjoy anything particularly much if you were not there. He could do shots with Evan and rile Dorcas up into picking on Regulus with him, but it didn’t give him that same buzz that ran over his exposed skin. Didn’t make his dead heart beat.

Tonight, though, for the traditional half-term rager thrown sloppily together in Slytherin, you were running late. By some terrible coincidence, you had your prefect rounds the same day, and could not get ready with Barty like you usually did.

He was left standing by the drinks table so that you could easily spot him whenever you returned – but as more and more people streamed in, your face was not among them. And the more crowded the room got, the rowdier it became, and Barty no longer had a clear sight of the entry. 

You could be here and he might not know. That just wouldn’t do.

“Hate to agree with the lion, but she’s right,” he announced then, clapping his hands together as he turned to his audience. Otherwise known as his friends and their mostly uninterested gazes. “My darling sweet angel, light of my life and yours is not here yet, and we need to do something about it.”

Regulus and Dorcas shared a look through bitten-back smiles. “And why is she not here?” Regulus asked, perhaps to avoid the last part of Barty's sentence.

“She has the audacity to follow rules and regulations,” Barty said with a straight face.

Regulus looked back to Dorcas for a translation. “Prefect rounds.” He rolled his eyes at that, a fellow abider of rules and regulations apparently. 

“Being the attentive individual she is, she likely overextended her help and ran late. And now there’s too many people here for me to spot her.” Barty spoke slowly, like he was spelling it out for children. Regulus’ huffing was becoming too frequent and petulant for his current taste. “So. Desperate times?”

He trailed off the end of his sentence, looking to Dorcas to complete it. Instead she asked, “What desperate measures are you aiming at here, B?”

A Cheshire cat grin split Barty’s face in half. “So glad you asked, my dear Dorc.”

Marlene winced and tightened her hold on Dorcas who had already opened her mouth, no doubt to tell him where to shove that nickname, but Barty was already backing away from the trio with his arms spread out wide.

He bodily pushed at a few fifth years standing around a table to make room for him to jump onto it, with no regard for the card game he was disrupting. The table was wobbly, but it carried Barty’s weight with no problem. From this new height, he could see most of the room clearly, eagle-like gaze already working overtime to see if there was a you to locate there yet.

Regulus walked up to stand in front of him on the ground. Barty grinned down at him questioning.

“Joining me, Reggie boy?”

“You wish.” Regulus moved his grip on a flask of firewhiskey to underneath it, so he could most effectively lift it up towards Barty without spilling any. “If you’re on tables already, you ought to have more in your system.”

“What a terrible influence you are, Black. I’m writing straight home to Walburga.” Immediately after his quip, Barty brought the flask to his lips, chugging, while Regulus rolled his eyes in a way that simply must be painful. 

Cheers from around Barty erupted at his very visible drinking, some already pissed students yelling chug, chug, chug. What can he say, Barty’s never one to back down from a challenge.

With an audible pop, he released the bottle from his lips and howled obnoxiously. He could hear Marlene yell a “yeah!” from behind him.

Maybe she wasn’t that bad.

Then, Barty at the top of his burning lungs yelled. “Y/N?! Dragă?!”

No answer. Or, well, no answer from you. Some stupid sods tried to respond, as if he’d ever call them darling.

“Oi! What are you on about?” Some bloke yelled at him from the opposite wall.

“Looking for my bird, you prick!” 

This earned him several wolf-whistles and hollers, which he promptly neglected as he turned around on the table, to no avail. He did not find you – but he had not exhausted the room in his search either. He still could not see every corner.

Using his thumb as a makeshift cap for the bottle, Barty cast a spell to move a table in the middle of the room closer to him while mid-leap towards it. His feet just barely hit the end of it, screech-laughing throughout his entire flight. 

This earned him even more hoots and hollers. Barty would be feeling quite chuffed if it wasn’t for your remaining status as missing. He took a few more swings of the bottle while his hungry eyes swept over all the heads. 

Then, the room must have lit up, because at last he saw you. Standing near the fireplace, squished between several other partiers, trying to gain your own bearings and locate your people.

“Dragă!”

Your head snapped up at Barty’s nickname for you, and the sweetest, most kissable smile spread across your lips. Oh, how Barty needed you to get your arse over here this instant.

He jumped off the table while punching the air in success, manhandling his way through the crowd towards where he now knew you to be. Smartly, you remained put, but your arms were opened for him by the time he got to you.

Swooping in, he abandoned the flask in favour of circling his arms around your waist and spinning you around, relishing in the giggles that escaped you.

“Buburuză, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He spoke into your neck, breathing you in, before pulling away enough to see your face. His smile must be blinding.

“The other prefect didn’t show, so I had double the amount of work,” you said simply, as if that was not an egregious crime against the loveliest prefect there was.

He opened his mouth to say as much, but you cut him off with a kiss, lips curled against his. Barty couldn’t help but sigh happily into you.

“Which can be dealt with later,” you said pointedly once you felt you had mollified him enough with your kisses. “For now, it seems I have to catch up with you. Starting without me?” Whether you had seen the bottle or smelled it on his breath he did not know, he just wanted you to keep talking.

The teasing tone in your voice did something funny to his stomach. “Entirely Reggie’s fault – extensive peer pressure, I tell you. I have Dorcas as my witness.” He nodded solemnly, as if he was presenting his case for a judge.

You shook your head at him and breathed a laughter against his lips as you kissed him again. He surely tasted of firewhiskey and the smoke he had earlier, but you didn’t seem to mind – he loved you all the more for it.

“Come now, there is something we need to do,” he said the second you pulled apart. One of his hands found yours while his other settled around your waist, hooking his thumb in your waistband. 

You furrowed your brows in confused entertainment, but let him lead you through the crowd towards the table in the middle that he abandoned earlier. 

“Barty, what–” you tried to ask, but he tightened his grip around your waist and used it to lift you, abusing a poor chair as a stepping stone to get the two of you on top of the table once more. 

Before you could question him, he spun you around like a trophy and shouted above the music, “I FOUND HER!”, victory evident in his tone.

This time, the wolf-whistles and hollers were even louder, some students stomping their feet to create a drumming sound. You flushed under the attention, melting impossibly further into Barty’s side, but laughter spilled over your lips, albeit nervously. When he looked down, he found you beaming at him. 

He knew himself to look twice as lovestruck as you, but he was happy to report that that was saying something.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” came the chants from the crowd then.

When a brief once-over of you showed no discomfort despite your light embarrassment – you were growing rapidly immune to that through your relationship – he figured, who was he to argue with a drunken room?

He swept you into a deep and passionate kiss, bending you slightly backward with his wide hands splayed across your back. 

“Now that I’m reunited with my love, what do you say we get the party properly started, yeah?”

[m00nkissedlover]

・｡Cat's First Snow ❄️

You've ordered: cookies and cream ice cream! enjoy!

"Twenty-four to twenty-five, bae. Just stay with me." (partly inspired by "24 to 25" by Stray Kids)

animagus! Regulus Black x reader | word count: 1,492 words

Summary: it snows at hogwarts! but, guess who hates the cold? ❄️ (silly little drabble)

Warnings: a bit of cursing (lighthearted)! not really warnings, but: reader's favorite season is winter, regulus takes the animagus form of a cat.

Note: i swear, i was giggling and kicking my feet writing this 🤭 yes, i'm reusing marauders/ skittles characters. again, i'm still getting caught up on marauders/ harry potter stuff in general. this fic is based on this post i made.

The courtyard grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were blanketed in a pillowy white layer of snow. Excitement emanated through the corridors and hallways of the school as students and faculty alike talked of taking pleasure in the wondrous winter display. Basically, everyone was ready for classes to end so they could go out and play in the snow.

Well...not everyone.

You see, your boyfriend, Regulus Black: he hated the cold. Hated with a capital H. Ever since he was a child, the Slytherin was never fond of the chilly weather of fall and winter, always wrapped to the nines in layers of sweaters and jackets. Not even a single wisp of cold air could touch him without him kicking up a fuss.

Obviously, this was a problem since you lived for the cold weather of winter. Getting to splurge on cute, fluffy sweaters, tins of flavored hot chocolate mix, and jars of various teas made your heart pound with joy. And of course, playing in the snow was just as fun.

"Boys versus girls snowball fight in ten minutes!" Evan yelled, throwing his scarf around his neck as he, Barty, and James made a mad dash down the hallway.

"Losers have to shove snow down their shirts!" Sirius chimed in, he and Remus following after the others.

"They're so immature." Pandora grumbled, rolling her eyes as she watched her brother run down the hallway like an idiot.

"I know right....But, we're winning the fight, right?" Marlene asked, nudging Dorcas in her side.

"Oh definitely." Dorcas responded, Lily giving them a thumbs up before looking around.

"Have any of you seen Y/n? I could've sworn they were just with us." Lily asked, the girls looking around in confusion.

Just where were you?

"Reg, please? It's not even that bad, I swear!" Oh, there you were, currently trying to persuade Regulus to come outside with you guys.

You knew it was a futile effort. He'd never agree.

"I don't care, I said I'm not coming." the stubborn Slytherin refused, tucking himself deeper into the blankets he had piled around him.

"You're being ridiculous."

"And what's so ridiculous about not wanting to freeze to death?" he quipped in a rather dramatic tone that made you bite back a laugh.

"Fine, I'll just go out myself. And have fun with the others..." you said, glancing over at Regulus to see if your words had affected him.

"Alright, have fun."

You frowned, getting up and buttoning up your jacket. "But even though I'll be with them, I'll still be a little...lonely. If only my boyfriend would come and keep me company...." Nothing.

"Y/n, I know what you're doing." he said, not even looking up from his book.

"Fuck you, Regulus Black." you groaned.

"Maybe after your snow day." he smiled to himself, knowing he got under your skin as he heard the door slam shut.

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"Look at him, all warm and cozy, while we're all freezing our asses off." Evan huffed. You were all peering in through the window of the common room, watching a familiar black cat enjoying the comfort of the fireplace.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" barty whispered to you, a sly grin on his pierced lips.

"Absolutely." you nodded, giving him the same grin as the two of you slipped away from the group. Yoi waited in the corridor, peeking through one of the windows.

Barty quietly stepped into the room, the black cat now stretching out on the couch. The Crouch boy carefully tiptoed over to the couch, leaning over it and giving regulus a smile. "Hey Reg...don't hate me too much after this."

The cat equivalent of a scream was heard as Barty swiftly scooped up the poor feline, shoving him into his coat. You had to try your best not to burst into a fit of laughter, your hand slapped over your mouth and body shaking. You watched as Regulus hissed and reached out with clawed paws, trying to scratch at Barty, who was scrambling out the door and over to you.

"Damn, he put up a fight." Barty huffed, handing you the obviously unhappy cat.

"Thanks, Crouchy!" you smiled, now shoving Regulus into your coat. He let out a meow of protest as you ran down the hall and out the large double doors.

You could feel Regulus jerk in your arms as the cold air washed over his fur. You pulled him out of your coat, playfully swinging him in your arms. then he saw it: the pile of snow you were about to fling him into.

"3...2...1!" you yelled, tossing him into the pillowy white snow. A startled "mrow!" left the black cat's throat as he landed into it with a soft thud. He poked his head out, the snow on his head practically melting with how seething he was.

"Oh come on, Reg. Have some fun! Look-? Wait, where's Sirius?" Your question was answered as you saw Padfoot running over to the group and slamming into the pile of snow.

Laughter filled the air as Padfoot popped his head out and shook out his snow covered fur that resulted in Regulus getting covered in snow once again. Padfoot playfully nudged the angry cat, licking over his fur. You knelt down and gently scooped Regulus back up into your coat, planting a soft kiss onto his head, right between his ears. the look on his face said "I hate you" but in a "You're lucky I love you" way.

After hours of snowball fights, snow angels, and building snowmen, the sun was finally beginning to set on your wintertime activities. Yoi all made your way back inside, Regulus snuggly tucked into your coat and poking his head through your scarf. When you two arrived at his dorm, he hopped out of your arms and scurried into his closet. A few moments later, regulus walked out, wrapped in a blanket and shivering rather dramatically.

"Don't ever take me out in the cold again." he said through chittering teeth.

"But, wasn't that fun? At least you were warmer in your cat form, no?" you teased, walking over to him and cupping his face in your hands.

"Cold!" he yelped, jumping back from the frosty touch of your fingers. A smirk formed on your face as you looked at your hands, then back at your boyfriend.

"Y/n, don't-" you stepped closer to him, his eyes darting around the room.

"Y/n- AH!" you immediately charged at him, chasing him around the room as he desperately tried to avoid your freezing cold hands.

"Get over here!" you giggled, cornering him against his bed. you moved to straddle him, your thighs on either side of his waist.

"Wait, Y/n, please!" the poor boy pleaded, trying not to laugh at the determined look in your eyes.

"I can't hear you!" you teased, quickly slipping your hands underneath the blanket and pressing them to his sides.

"GAH!" The yelp that left his throat had you laughing till your throat was sore, Regulus grabbing your wrists to get you off of him.

"Ah! Please, have mercy!" Regulus mumbled weakly, a shiver running through his whole body as you leaned closer to him, that ridiculous smirk still on your face.

"Want me to help you warm up?" you whispered, your warm breath wafting over his lips that twitched in response.

"I guess..." Regulus mumbled, trying to fight the smile forming on his lips.

You smiled at his attempt to seem upset, leaning over and softly kissing his pouty lips. An audible "mmm" rumbled through his chest as he slowly forgot about the icy touch of your hands that were creeping up his bare sides and focused on the warmth emanating from your body and the kiss.

As you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, you felt Regulus sneak his hands underneath your shirt, pressing his semi-cold hands to your skin. You yelped softly into the kiss, pulling away to scold him.

"Mhm, how do you like them apples?" the dark haired male quipped, earning himself a playful pinching of his sides.

"How about we both get changed into more comfortable, warmer clothes and we can cuddle up together in the common room, hm? I'll even make you that tea you like so much." Regulus couldn't pass up that offer.

"I'll think about it." That ultimately meant yes, your lips now pressing to his nose before letting him go.

The rest of the night was spent in the common room, you and the others chatting the night away and laughing over steaming mugs of hot chocolate and freshly brewed tea. Regulus was practically glued to your hip, curled up under a blanket with you and letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

Even though he didn't like the cold, Regulus always felt all warm and fuzzy inside seeing just how happy you were whenever winter rolled around. ❄️

© m00nkissedlover, 2024

[lupiinist]

here in brazil we have a show (it's actually on netflix) that's called 'ilhados com a sogra', that is pretty much a show where mothers-in-law and their sons/daughters-in-law spend like, a week trapped in an island having to work together on some games

and i just started thinking about how the marauders would deal their mothers-in-law, and honestly, here it is:

. regulus and effie would win. that's not even negotiable, effie and reggie would control the entire game, they're the perfect mother-in-law and son-in-law duo

. sirius and hope lupin would be... cute and soft, they get along well, but i don't think they would win, 'cause sirius might be competitive, but i don't feel like hope would? they WOULD be the most gossinp duo, though, they'd hear absolutely all the tea

. on the other hand, james and remus wouldn't participate. walburga would never

. i feel like marlene would be too distracted telling her mother-in-law how much she loves dorcas, and would forget the actual games (she wants to win mrs. meadowes' approval)

. lily and mary would be in second and third place each

. evan wouldn't participate either

. barty would kill his mother-in-law (not literally, but maybe...), they'd hate each other, and they'd have to be expelled from the show

. pandora would be the host actually, or the family therapist

. i hc peter as aroace, so i think he wouldn't have a partner. he'd be watching though (cheering for regulus and effie, but he loves sirius and hope as well)

. alice would be arguing with her mother-in-law every second

. ted wouldn't participate either

. rita would either beat up her mother-in-law or get beaten up by her, no in-between

anyway, the show is awesome and so silly actually, i just think it's funny to think about the marauders and their mothers-in-law

[alwaysanundertone]

What could possibly go wrong?

Barty Crouch Jr x fem reader

word count: 900

part 1 , part 2

Except, everything was wrong.

When you arrived at the party, Barty was literally surrounded by people after about two minutes. You tried to keep up with all of his friends, but it got kind of overwhelming.

You decided to leave when one particular Slytherin girl came into view: you tried to introduce yourself, but when she refused to shake your hand, you decided you had enough, so you just left Barty. After all, you’ve been a loner your whole life, and you weren’t about to start begging for people’s attention now.

How dumb of you to think Barty could possibly be into you, he was a manwhore, he flirted with everyone, you weren’t special. Plus, why would he go for someone as boring as you, when he could have everyone? Hell, everyone in Hogwarts seemed to be thirsting over him, you weren’t special. He was a social butterfly, you were a loner, how could it work out?

Now you were sulking at the minibar, wondering why you interrupted your reading session for this, but most of all, why did he bring you here, just to make you feel insecure about yourself. You stared at the glass of whiskey in front of you: might give it a go while you were at your first, and probably last, party.

You instantly regret it: it burned, and you were positive it was way too much.

“Hey, Y/N right?” You jumped. In front of you stood a blonde guy, he towered over you, staring at you with his pale eyes. “Didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart. Just wanted to come say hi, you weren’t looking too happy to be here. I’m Evan”

You furrowed your eyebrows, shaking his hand. “But how do you know my name?”

“Well, it would be strange if I didn’t. Barty talks about you like, 24/7, and I am his roommate, so”

You widened your eyes. “He does?”

“Yes, silly. Don’t you see how he always looks at you? And how he always seems to be around when you seem to be uncomfortable? Like yesterday, during Potions, when you were all alone at a table?”

You blushed. You had felt really pathetic, sitting by yourself while everyone else was chatting with their friends, and then Barty sat next to you, leaving his friends. You instinctively looked at him, you brows furrowed: he was still with that Slytherin girl. Evan followed your gaze.

“Look, sometimes he’s just oblivious of what’s happening around him, but I swear he only has eyes for you. Look at his body language: she’s desperately trying to establish some type of physical connection, while he looks like he is about to leave” In that moment, you saw Barty looking around, when he spotted you he brightened up, excusing himself and making his way to you.

“Hey love, looks like you’re already charming up my friends”

“I wasn’t-“

“You should be careful, Barty, if you won’t start dating her, someone else might take your place” He winked at you, making you blush.

“You’re such a dick, Y/N is already mine and you know that” Barty slung an arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple, making you a blabbering mess.

“Maybe she won’t mind to be shared, don’t you think?” Evan caressed your cheek, now you were sure he could feel you burning, you weren’t sure what was happening, but you knew if they kept this up, you might as well end up in a puddle in the floor. They both chuckled at your reaction.

“Let’s ignore this shithead, love, and go dancing” He lead you to the dancefloor.

“Barty, I don’t know how, I’ve never been to a party before, you know that.”

He smiled softly at you. “Just follow my movements, everything will be alright”

The music was slow and sultry, he had his big hands on your waist, and he started moving slowly, guiding your hips. You had your face in the crook of his neck, trying to inhale subtly the smell of his cologne.

“You’re tickling me here, love, do I smell nice?” You felt his chest vibrate, while you tried to hide your now red face into his chest. “Don’t go shy on me now, love, mh? Let me see those beautiful rosy cheeks”

“You’re not being fair, you know that, right?”

“Who said I wanted to?” He bopped your nose. “Besides, I really enjoy seeing you all flustered because of me. It’s kind of an ego booster”

“Shut up, Crouch”

“Make me”

He stared at you, then gazed at your lips, making you lick them absentmindedly. Were you really about to kiss him? You didn’t know if it was the whiskey giving you the courage, or the fact that he looked good enough to eat, but you decided that yes, you were going to kiss him.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and then you just put your lips on his. He freezed at first, making you regret your choice, but then he shifted his hold on you, so that one of his hands was now grabbing your butt, while the other cradled your head, while deepening the kiss.

Suddenly, your legs were feeling all jelly-like, the hand placement and the fact that he was really a good kisser had you feeling dizzy.

“You don’t know how long I waited for this exact moment.” He pecked your lips. “Since I saw you with that damn hat on, I was praying all of the gods you’d end up in Slytherin, but you didn’t. And now I finally have you in my arms.” Another kiss. “I won’t ever let you go, you know?”

“I think it’s fine by me, but you should take me on a date first”

He was about to reply when you were hit by a bright flash.

“Sorry guys, had to have a picture of this moment”

“Evan when I catch you, you’re dead”

As he was about to chase the poor guy, you just gripped him harshly. “Shut up and kiss me”

He smiled at you. “Whatever you want, love”

[theyrealllesbians]

Imagine pandora insisting that she has to read everyone's palms and them all resisting saying it was silly. She carries on and after 10 minutes they're all sat in the boys room on regulus bed with their palms up.

She goes round them all individually tracing along the lines and humming absent mindedly. At first she doesnt actually pay too much attention to what she's looking at, just mapping out the lines. That's until she gets to Barty, she traces the lines on his palm but falters as she traces his life line. She stops humming and her brows furrow intensely.

"What? What is it?" Barty asks, causing the others to stop their conversations and look at Pandora. "Dora, what is it?"

She doesn't know what to say. His life line ends a third the way across his palm. He was going to die in his 30s. She quickly glanced around everyone else's still upwards facing palms. Every single one had an alarmingly short life line.

Evan's didn't reach to his middle finger. Dorcas's ended so abruptly it looked like it had been cut. But Regulus's caught her eye a second longer. It started to wave a little at the end. Almost as if he was starting a new life, but just as quickly as it started, it had stopped, violently and abruptly again.

Pandora looked down at her own palm and watched it end in the middle of her second knuckle. She felt her heart drop. In 10 years, they'd all be dead. They wouldn't even get a chance to live before they died.

"Pandora, you're freaking us out. What is it?" Evan asked, nudging her arm at the same time.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Maybe you're right, it is silly." She felt sick.

"Why what does it say?" Regulus asked calmly.

"That we all die young, before 50." They didn't need to know the truth. Didn't need to know they may only have a couple of years left.

"Oh well that's obviously a lie." Barty exclaimed. "I told you it was all nonsense. Read my love line though, I wanna know if I marry hot" He wiggles his eyebrows at Evan at this line.

Regulus looked at her though, a questioning gaze that she didn't have the heart to meet. She simply dropped her head and started tracing Barty's love line, trying to find something to distract her. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod solemnly and take a deep breath before closing his eyes. Just as quickly though he opened his eyes back up and started making snarky comments at whatever the others were saying.

[whorediaries-09]

hey hun! how bout a #9 choking and maybe some #6 degradation with the one and only barty crouch jr? im a simp for that man and a sucker for your writing!!!

hell ya, babe.

twisted pleasure;

pairing- landlord!barty crouch jr x reader warning(s)- 18+ content, substances. a/n- the obsession is so strong guys?!

prompt- choking + degradation.

the diner. kinkotober masterlist. kinkotober rules.

the wooden staircase in the corridor creeps into your room. they creak with the heavy steps which you recognize to be your landlord's. cold fear grips you. it's been almost a week after the due date of the month. you still hadn't paid your rent. and you knew he was extremely particular about the dates.

'open the door!' his voice boomed first, then came the obnoxious loud knock. you rushed into your room, trying to put on proper clothes. you were fresh out the shower. in nothing but a faux silk nightdress. you weren't expecting anyone.

especially not him.

'i'm coming!' you scream, but it's covered by the overpowered sound of the door bursting open. barty enters the apartment, and you see him getting overwhelmed by the smell of pot in the living room.

'you filthy bitch!' he says, charging towards you. you back towards the wall, the anger in his voice booming. it's so obvious. and yet you feel more of your oxytocin in your blood rather than just adrenaline. maybe it's because of how insanely attractive he looks with his hair scattered all around his face. or his pupils which are full of spite focused on you.

'i'm sorry,' you manage to whisper out, at least pretending to be scared. you didn't want him to know you were getting turned on. 'i got fired last week. they closed the place-'

'you got the time and money to pay for pot but you ain't got time to pay me my rent? i'll call the fucking cops on you if you don't pay up right now!'

'i'm so sorry, mr. crouch,'

before anymore words were spoken, his hand was around your throat.

'sorry? i gotta pay my bills you know? you fucking whore! you'll pay up, or i'll do unimaginable things to do. bet you would like that wouldn't ya? silly little thing.'

he huffed, his mouth so close to your nose. his hand, touch so hot on your skin. unconsciously, you bucked your hips towards his crotch.

'oh look at the dumb slut. she likes it when i degrade her. don't you?' he mocked you, increasing the pressure of his thumbs on your arteries.

'god, i'll do anything if you will give me a few more days,' you manage to gurgle out. he smiles, running his tongue over his teeth.

'you bitch. i'll make you do anything i want, if that's what it takes me to get you to pay the fuck up.' and it's hell broken loose. he's tearing your nightdress down, exposing your chest to his hungry gaze. he spits between the valley of your breasts, pushing your head further into the wall-if that was even possible. with this other hand, he teases your clit.

'look at you, whore. no panties. and so wet for me, already. you like this huh?'

you stand speechless, letting his rough fingers scissor you open.

'look at you, so turned on for your landlord's cock. ever touched yourself thinking about me, slut?'

it happens so fast, as if in a flash. he's pulling his pants down, wrapping his legs around your waist.

'fuck,' you whimper. he pushes himself into you. it's a fast, burning yet delicious stretch and it makes you lose the strength of your knees. you bite your lip as his hips ruts into yours, profanities and his name falling off your lips like a chant. he's breathing heavy into your ears, cutting off the oxygen flow to your brain.

'dumb, cumslut, for my cock,' your walls pulsate around him at his words, and he smirks. he takes out his phone from his shirt pocket, and opens his camera.

'i'll film us. touch your dumb little cunt when you need me. then call me, i'll fuck you even better than those little fingers of yours can.'

he's relentless, scandalous while he abuses your pussy. your eyes roll backwards with each thrust, his cock hitting your spot perfectly. it's a rhythm and a roll of his hips, along with the force of his hand against your neck that makes you loose your decency and you're begging for him.

'barty, please,' he muffles his growl against your hair, destroying in the name of exploring your guts, and you're letting out breathy moans with the furious orgasm that coils within you.

'beg, beg for my cock,' whore, he croons, and your back scratches against wall he holds you against.

'please, please-barty-shit...' you moan. you feel dizzy, and your orgasm so on the edge consumes you from within and you babble incoherent words. he laughs, and there's a cruel mirth behind his voice.

your pussy walls, flutter around his cock, and he pounds into you, rocks into you and with each thrust, your slickness welcomes him, and it consumes you and him both. your clit rubs deliciously on his torso and simultaneously, his cock hits your sweet spot. your throat rips out a fetishized moan and you're breaking apart on his cock, while he's chasing his own release. your orgasm clutches his cock so tight, he resents the force on your own throat, and menacingly you wonder how he's not suffocated you to death yet.

'st-stop-' you beg, but he doesn't acknowledge you. he's chasing his own release, and the way you grip him drives him into a high of insanity.

'oh? is this too much for this poor cunt?' he mocks-and before the either of you know it, he's painting the walls of your abused cunt with his cum. it's filthy, his cum dripping onto the floor of his apartment from your used hole. you unwrap your shaking legs from his waist, and he lets go off your throat. you cough and splutter, taking in heavy breaths as he makes you kneel on the floor. he sits beside you, holding your hair while you struggle with your breathes.

[lexithwrites]

moonwater but its (trans) regulus frist time

so in the moonwater fic i wanna write regulus is a virgin so i wont write an entire scene as fingers crossed i'll write it in that haha but i do have headcanons i wanna share okay okay (nsfw below):

regulus isn't really a dating person, like he has crushes and likes being the mysterious hot guy but he's too chicken shit to actually flirt with anybody lmao so he's never slept with anyone, only kissed people (mostly his friends aka mostly barty) at parties or for dares and stuff

remus on the other hand is the guy who wants to find the love of his life, he's a secret romantic and loves with his whole heart, but he's only dated maybe four people so far, so that's his experiance, he becomes a master at one person then has to relearn another and he just wants to be with one person forever ya know

i can picture them both talking about their experiances in the way of remus telling reg that he hasn't really been with someone that's wanted him to feel pleasure, like people tried but no one really bothered too hard compared to him who always put in 110% every time

reg wants that BAD

he wants someone obsessed with him, that makes him feel comfortable and wants him to want them back, he wants to touch and learn and taste and feel and he wants it with remus

so when they do eventually get together he's excited but then he's like oh fuck we're a couple i have to DO things he gets nervous

remus doesn't expect sex,,,,ever, he isn't asexual exactly but sex isn't that big of a deal to him, he's used to the other person wanting it more so he's just happy to be with reg whilst poor regulus is having a crisis over when they need to have sex

it starts slow, touching each other's skin and just exploring, they're sweet and giggly and just taking in the fact they're together and it's sparks flying and they've both never felt this kind of connection before

basically, not only are they deeply in love, but they are so desperatley horny for each other and neither of them know how to express it

remus makes the first move and knows reg is trans, he truly doesn't care because he's had experiance with both kinds of genitals, he just wants to make reg feel as good as possible, and the first time he goes down on him it's in his bed at night and regulus has to desperatley cover his mouth because it feels so fucking good he's shaking

like no amount of touching himself will compare to remus' tongue and fingers on and inside him like,,,it's pure ecstasy

and reg is addicted after that he's dragging remus off to the black family library to make out and grind against each other and he touches remus but remus is still really nervous about finally being touched but one night they're out in the garden and regulus asks if he can just jerk him off, blowing is a lot for him since he's never done it, and remus is a MESS bro he's had handjobs before but regulus is curious and watching his every reaction and using it to learn and remus cums so hard he almost passes out

once again, both become obsessed with touch

their actual first time is silly and sweet, they're alone for once, no family or friends to possibly walk in on them, and they take their fucking time

it's hours of foreplay and smiles and nervous breathes and then remus is putting a condom on and regulus is clenching his fists but remus kisses him so softly that he melts, he tells him they can stop at any time, that if it hurts they wont do it again until regulus is ready, and so he pushes in and of course it feels weird, it kinda hurts a little as the stretch is a lot, but then remus is moaning in his ear and kissing his neck and telling him how gorgeous he is in the moonlight and regulus starts to feel it

remus goes DEEP and thats what reg figures out he likes, not girth but depth (and he's correct) so he starts begging remus to go deeper and just rock inside him and he's hiccuping out these noises that drive remus insane

then reg gets confident and asks to go on top and they're both done for basically, it gets them both off from just staring into the others eyes and panting and moaning together and when they both cum they just laugh and smile together because all of those nerves for this amazing moment????

so fucking worth it

[saintsenara]

You mentioned fanon turning barty crouch jr. into an uninteresting character. I don't know much about what the new fanon characterisation has really done with him, but I'm curious for your thoughts on why he's a canonically interesting character. I agree that he is, but it sounds like you might have some interesting thoughts on it that are already fleshed out.

thank you for the ask, @jamesunderwater, and i'm sorry for taking so long to drag myself around to answering this.

as you may have gathered if you’ve read my views on jegulus or wolfstar, the common fanon interpretation of marauders-era characters and i don’t really get on.

this is not a new development - me and goofy fanon sirius have been beefing for over a decade at this point, i fear - but our enmity has taken on a new form since [roughly] 2020, when the emergence of what we might call the modern marauders subfandom brought with it a whole series of expectations about characters, ships, personalities, and appearances in first war stories which - let me state my position immediately - have absolutely nothing to do with the characters as they are in canon.

i could talk about sirius or regulus or james or snape or lupin until the cows come home - as, i’m sure, could many of us - but i also dislike the expectations the marauders subfandom has around its supporting cast. these characters - who largely fall under the categories of women, slytherins, or both - have names that we might recognise from canon, but they are - to all intents and purposes - original characters.

to do some marauders fan defending, i do understand the rationale behind this. hogwarts is a school, and it needs to be filled with the sort of incidental characters that lightning-era writers can pull from the canon text [shoutout to ernie macmillan, the mvp]. if you’re writing about lily, then she needs friends - why not have them be alice, marlene, dorcas, emmeline, pandora etc.?

[well, because dumbledore isn’t running a child army. it makes no sense for the entire order of the phoenix to be in the same school year - and the idea that alice is probably around ten years older than lily, that pandora is around the same age as narcissa malfoy and isn’t a pureblood, and that marlene, dorcas, and emmeline are hard-nosed ministry bitches in their fifties who can have mad-eye moody quaking with just a look is something which can be prised from my cold, dead hands.]

and if you’re writing about the epic highs and lows of high-school football going to school during a sectarian conflict, then you need some antagonists. which is to say, you need some slytherins.

the issue i have is that the three key slytherins who seem to have been elevated to principal cast in the marauders pantheon - regulus black, barty crouch jr., and evan rosier - get what can only be called the smol bean treatment. that is, that three teenagers who all canonically join a terror organisation are turned into soft and tiny babies who thought lord voldemort was just feeling silly when he said, "my aim is the eradication of the muggleborn population through violent means."

and even fics which do acknowledge that the three willingly become terrorists often go out of their way to provide justifications for this which don’t contextualise their decision [something which is important - you can’t write about snape becoming a death eater without acknowledging the way that poverty, loneliness, and a sense of hopelessness make someone an easy target of radicalisation] but which minimise it. sometimes, their violence is turned into romantic vengeance - i’ve seen a fair amount of suggestions that barty goes to torture the longbottoms because frank was the auror who killed evan. sometimes, authors imply - or even outright state - that there’s no need to see these boys as aspiring villains: voldemort is right; the class system is good and should be maintained; and purebloods [usually james, sirius, regulus, barty, evan and maybe a token woman or two] should stick together while the half-breeds and the mudbloods go hang.

this - like all aristocracy wank in this fandom - annoys me enough with regulus and evan. but it’s particularly grating when it comes to barty crouch jr. because - unlike evan, who is literally just a name in the text, and regulus, who isn’t much more - he actually has a canon personality.

and it’s fascinating. indeed, i would even go so far as to say that barty crouch jr. is the greatest villain in the harry potter series.

[my apologies to lord voldemort.]

after all, even though he’s been imprisoned under the imperius curse for over a decade, barty is still so lucid and powerful that he is able to:

produce magic capable of tricking the goblet of fire, which is treated by all the adult characters involved as unprecedented.

pull off a year-long impersonation of a man whom dumbledore evidently knows extremely well without being clocked until his mission has been successful, even though his opportunities to observe the real moody can have been virtually non-existent. he is in character within seconds of his ambush on moody’s home - after the intruder-alert dustbins are set off - and is able to persuade ministry personnel who can be presumed to have met moody personally [including both amos diggory and arthur weasley, who appear to know him not only personally, but well] that he is the real deal. he maintains his performance even under close scrutiny from the teaching colleagues he has to interact with daily at hogwarts, despite the fact that he presumably can’t get a great deal out of the real moody, since he’s having to be kept deliberately weak and docile under the imperius curse.

manipulate multiple people into become accessories to his crimes, without ever being suspected of doing so. with the hindsight of knowing who he is, the first defence against the dark arts lesson in goblet of fire, in which "moody" deliberately distresses neville by using the cruciatus curse directly in front of him, before swooping in to be the person to cheer him up so that he can plant information which will help harry win the triwizard tournament and deliver him to voldemort, is chilling. he just gets unlucky that harry has the biggest martyr complex in human history.

commit murder on hogwarts’ grounds without ever being suspected of wrongdoing.

execute lord voldemort’s plan to kidnap harry and use him in his resurrection ritual flawlessly. the plan itself may be convoluted - but dark lords are allowed to have a flair for the dramatic, as a treat - but, crucially, it works, and barty succeeds in every respect.

but, i concede, we’re talking about the adult barty here. perhaps he was once a sweetheart who went unfortunately off the rails after his father sent him to prison and then - in effect - drugged him for years. that wouldn’t be a ridiculous suggestion.

except for the fact that - canonically - the teen barty was just as clever, sly, manipulative, and - above all - ardent in his support for voldemort as his adult self.

at his trial in the early 1980s, young barty gives the performance of a lifetime. he screams, he shakes, he looks terrified of the dementors, he is pale and weak and harmless-looking, he begs his mother to help him, he pleads with his father for mercy, he maintains his innocence as he's dragged off to his cell. he gives off the impression of simply having been in the wrong place at the wrong time so well that harry is almost certain that his conviction is illegitimate. so too, it is implied, is dumbledore.

indeed, barty plays the part of the wrongfully imprisoned so well that - as canon tells us - he not only influences public opinion to be broadly in favour of his probable innocence [or, at least, his diminished culpability - sirius suggests that the widespread view was that he was probably there, but that he only ended up involved in what was clearly bellatrix’s idea because of his father’s failure to relate to him properly], but also changes public opinion against the government’s anti-death-eater strategy entirely.

following his imprisonment, his father - a man who never met an extrajudicial punishment he didn’t like, and whose ruthless approach to dealing with the death eaters in the first war [such as his use of internment for suspected terrorists and his order to aurors to shoot to kill] was, we are told, enormously popular with the wizarding public - is forced to resign in disgrace from his role as head of the department of magical law enforcement. crouch sr. is quietly shuffled off into a boring bureaucratic position, his ambitions to be minister in tatters, and his only way forward to free his son from the prison cell where he is languishing for the crime he very literally did.

[as an aside, i do think that we are supposed to read bellatrix as the ringleader of the torture of the longbottoms. but, all too often, that gets reduced to her doing everything while rodolphus, rabastan, and barty just stand there gormlessly. they were clearly performing the curses too!]

now, barty’s unusual cunning can - of course - be explained by narrative reasons. the text needs to conceal that he’s the villain [since, as with philosopher’s stone, it wants to imply that the dark lord’s faithful servant at hogwarts is snape] until the very end - and this naturally requires dumbledore to not think too hard about whether his good judy alastor is behaving even more strangely than usual.

the text also needs to suggest that he's innocent in order to properly stick the landing on the narrative role of his father - barty crouch sr. as with dolores umbridge in order of the phoenix, crouch sr. exists to show harry [and the reader] that the rot in the wizarding world was not caused by - and will not stop with the defeat of - voldemort. his ruthlessness and inflexibility, his lack of respect for due process, his astonishingly cruel treatment of winky [brutal beyond even the standard way in which wizards abuse their enslaved elves] all serve to teach harry that the anti-voldemort cause can become just as easily corrupted as the disillusioned young men in voldemort’s orbit. the suggestion that crouch sent his own son to azkaban without good reason, simply because he would not deviate from his beliefs, is an important lesson to harry about what "justice" actually means.

but, despite this, barty is also able to pull off his deception because he’s spectacularly talented. it’s not all just narrative.

and his talents are caused by characteristics which aren’t good or bad in and of themselves. he’s clearly very intelligent [he got twelve owls, the series’ benchmark for genius]. he’s hyper-observant, creative, adaptable, good under pressure, and possessed of nerves of steel. he shares these traits with other villains in the series - voldemort above all - but he also shares them with plenty of the heroes. harry, for one.

which is to say that all of his personality traits could be put to non-criminal uses. but - as with harry, who is capable of being quite sinister when he wants to be [for example, when he manipulates slughorn into giving up the horcrux memory] - they would give a non-criminal barty an edge. and this doesn’t seem to be present in his standard fanon persona - as sweet and goofy as all marauders-era men - to any great extent.

finally, there is another aspect of barty’s character which is absent from his fanon version - that he clearly has some sort of childhood trauma, but that this does not excuse any of what he does.

even though crouch sr. is right to send him to azkaban, he was clearly also a cold and distant father, who had absolutely no idea how to relate to his son.

[as another aside, this emotional negligence is bad enough without it needing to be written as having been accompanied by extreme physical and/or sexual abuse. there seems to be a real tendency in fanfiction - not only in marauders-era stuff, although the exaggeration of orion and walburga black into despotic villains is one example of this - to make childhood misery "worse", in order to justify a character’s later actions.]

voldemort demonstrably uses barty’s terrible relationship with crouch sr. [and his absolutely flagrant daddy kink] to groom him into taking the dark mark [not least because there’s otherwise no explanation for why he cheerfully informs him that he too is named after his dad], which he may very well end up taking when he’s still at school. my reading is that he’s recruited to inform on his father - since voldemort would undoubtedly wish to keep the head of the department of magical law enforcement under constant surveillance - and that this is why the dark lord pays him the attention he is so obviously lacking.

but, as with snape and regulus and draco malfoy and all the other young death eaters, barty also colludes in his own radicalisation. voldemort is a master at ensnaring recruits, sure, but he’s also a busy man. he only bothers to make the effort because the clever, creative, cunning, manipulative young man - who wishes to avenge himself on the father who never paid him attention [sound familiar?] - he finds before him is very much determined to become a spectacular part of his terrorist organisation. and stories which feature him owe it to him to give him that dark complexity of character

show the series’ best villain some respect.

[t1oui]

soft jarty. just

barty being the only one who can get james to sleep in bc james can’t say no to cuddles

lots of forehead & nose kisses

barty wearing james’s jumpers, especially during quidditch matches

going on double dates w/ lily and evan (i love them and they need more attention)

doing piercings for each other

on that note, tattooing each other as well

james is taller than barty!! i will die on this hill

being completely able to fill each others' needs if yk what i mean...

holding hands when studying together, even if they're not talking

(james is right-handed and barty is ambidextrous which means they can hold hands when they're doing homework too :))

playing seeker's games together

making blanket forts in the gryffindor/slytherin common rooms

they're both loud, obnoxious people, but when they're together they're pretty quiet. they can just rest w each other

barty and marlene are a terrifying duo but james is so lovesick he somehow doesn't realize (all his friends are losing it)

something about james having a crystal collection and leaving barty crystals for good luck

barty insisting on james giving him piggyback rides all over the castle

resting their chins on each others' shoulders whenever they're close enough to do so

barty doesn't like falling asleep anywhere but his dorm room, but he can always take a nap on james

james, barty, evan, and lily getting together to do makeovers (this is when barty gets his hair dyed)

(maybe genderqueer james exploring himself/themself more during these)

probably some form of a t4t couple

(combination of trans & genderqueer, i just know these two aren't cis4cis)

sleepovers almost every night, their roommates are used to it atp

insecure barty + body worshiper james

james's parents love barty

they like making silly little crafts for each other... they both have like 30 different bracelets with things like "i love you" and "you're cute" written on them in beads

they like to draw on each other. not a day goes by without james having "property of barty crouch jr" written somewhere on him (barty has "property of jfp" written on him somewhere too, but it's not somewhere most people can see)

(they eventually get the phrases tattooed in each others' handwriting)

i'm going to end it here but SOFT JARTY

[itsjaywalkers]

for the prompt game: ROSEKILLER 57 WITH BOXER AU IVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT……….. (also i hope you’re having a fun day off laurie hi hi 🥺🤍)

HI HI SAINTS BELOVED <333 i actually didn't get the day off bc i'm an idiot and i couldn't say no when my coworker asked me to change shifts.. but at least i got home before 10pm which . is unusual for me lmao . and today's shift was actually kinda fun so !!

anyways, hope you're having a lovely day and that u enjoy this silly lil thing <3 first peek into boxer au rosekiller <3 (i went a bit overboard but they've been plaguing my mind and u don't deserve less)

57. "Teach me to fight."

It's been more than half an hour of hitting the punching bag nonstop when Barty finally decides to take a break. It's not even because he's actually tired, despite the sweat he can already feel dripping down his back and his face. It's because his bad shoulder—the right one—dislocated during the last combination he tried, and after Barty puts it back in place, he's gotta wait a little bit before going back to training.

This happens way too often for comfort, but it's not really painful anymore—it never really was, or maybe Barty has simply dealt with much worse. Besides, the longer he ignores it, the more serious it'll get, which means he'll have an excuse to go get another check-up.

His manager already warned him when he first got the injury after that stupid fight with stupid Potter. Barty began to grow restless during recovery time, and then decided his shoulder was fine when it stopped hurting.

Obviously, he was wrong. Except, it only dislocates when he goes too hard, and he's learnt how to put it back in place without issue, so really, technically, he was sort of right. What does his manager know, anyway? As long as Barty continues winning and putting money in that fucker's pocket, there shouldn't be any complaints.

He pulls up his tank top and dries off some of the sweat on his neck and the side of his face, while rolling his shoulder gently, testing the waters before he goes back to punching, when the hairs at his nape begin to stand up.

There's no noise, no sudden sounds. Barty doesn't hear the door opening, or closing, and yet, when he turns around, smirk already pulling at his lips, he isn't surprised to find someone standing right behind him.

"Hey, Rosie," he greets the other man, who blinks at him, completely deadpan. "I didn't know you were still around. Long shift today?"

"Yes, you did," Evan responds, that cool tone of his sending a pleasing chill down Barty's spine. "Know, that is. I'm pretty sure you've got my schedule memorised."

Barty takes a few moments to drop the hem of his shirt, because he notices the way in which Evan's gaze drops to his stomach and stays there for a handful of seconds. His expression doesn't change, there isn't even a flicker of something in his face, but the attention is more than enough for him.

"Well, you left your email open and your laptop in my near vicinity." Barty shrugs, eyes running up and down Evan's body. He's still wearing that sexy white coat of his, the shirt underneath it perfectly buttoned and tucked inside his jeans.

There's barely any skin showing, because Evan is a little weirdo, but there's some ankle peeking, since the pants are ridiculously tight on him and the legs keep riding up slightly.

Honestly, it's like he's doing it on purpose. Barty can't be blamed if he ends up hard under his sweats. He can already feel some blood rushing south just at the sight of that tiny sliver of soft brown skin.

"And you downloaded my rotas?" Evan guesses, tilting his head to the side.

"Nah," Barty says, crossing his arms over his chest, flexing a little. "Didn't have to. I've got a damn good memory. I read over them for a couple of minutes until they stuck."

Evan nods, not fazed in the slightest.

"That's why you only come in when I'm on shift," Evan states, and it's not a question. He doesn't seem surprised, or freaked out, but then again, he barely shows any emotions. Apart from irritation, that is, and that one's reserved for when Barty is being especially pushy. Or especially horny.

"I don't think I've ever seen any of the other nurses a single time in my life," Barty tells him with a chuckle.

"You have," Evan retorts, and his eyes narrow the tiniest bit. Barty feels a pull in his stomach. "You were talking to Betty three weeks ago, after your match against Black. The bad one. You let her check your shoulder."

Barty lets out an incredulous laugh, not sure on where to focus first, going dizzy with how badly he wants this freak of a man.

He's obsessed with the way in which Evan always seems to get the urge to clarify which Black he's talking about, as if it's not obvious, considering only one of them fights. How he's always so precise, never allowing any ambiguity into his sentences. How almost nothing seems to hold his focus apart from his experiments and medicine and his patients' injuries, and yet, here he is, remembering when Barty talked to someone else momentarily.

"Did I?" Barty asks innocently, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his shit-eating grin at bay.

"Yes," Evan responds, a little furrow appearing between his eyebrows. "She was touching you."

"Was she?" The corners of Barty's mouth are twitching so much he's sure he must look like an absolute maniac.

"Yes," Evan repeats, some exasperation slipping into his voice. "She wasn't even doing it right. She kept kneading the muscle in the same place, instead of checking the ligament, and she did this for more than five minutes, even though it takes seconds to find out about a dislocation—"

"Rosie," Barty cuts him off gently, watching, with no little amount of delight, how Evan's frown worsens. "I didn't even know her fucking name. I couldn't give less of a fuck about stupid Betty, or whatever the hell she's called."

Evan blinks slowly. "But you—"

"I was tired and sore after that match, my shoulder was bothering me, and she was there. My manager told her to check my shoulder, just in case I had fucked it up beyond solution, but if I had known you were around she wouldn't have laid a single finger on me."

There's a beat of silence, Evan's dead eyes searching all over Barty's face, assessing and determined. He smirks at him, which results in Evan huffing and looking away.

"Don't do it again," it's what he ends up mumbling, and if Barty didn't know any better, he'd dare to say Evan is close to pouting. "You're my patient."

Barty raises both eyebrows, a deranged smile splitting his face while he perks up like a goddamn dog. "Is that jealousy I'm hearing, Rosie?"

"No," Evan drawls, straightening up. "It's just the truth. You're not my only patient, you know? But if you're getting treated by me, then you're not allowed to see any other nurses."

"Damn, way to make a man feel special," Barty scoffs, but he does actually kind of mean it. Which he's aware might be a bit pathetic, but, well, he'll be whatever the fuck Evan wants him to. "Wasn't interested in seeing any other nurses, anyway."

"Good." Evan nods, almost to himself, and Barty has to make an active effort not to coo. "Are you done training?"

Barty blinks a couple of times, slightly taken aback, both by the sudden change of topic and by Evan entertaining conversation. Normally, talking to the other boy feels like pulling teeth—oh, man, Rosie would fucking love this comparison—which Barty doesn't mind because he finds it incredibly fun. Unless Evan is going on one of his medical rants, and yeah, Barty shouldn't find it as attractive as he does, but it's not like he's ever worked like he's supposed to.

But this? This is new.

"Not really," Barty answers, still feeling off-kilter. He shakes his head, forcibly pulling himself out of his mind. "Why? You wanna join me, Rosie?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Barty snorts, assuming that it's a joke, even though he's more than aware that Evan doesn't do jokes, because his humour is way too dark, and rarely finds funny what others do. But Evan's expression doesn't change, and Barty nearly chokes on his own spit.

"Wait, you're serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've never been interested in boxing," Barty points out.

"That's a lie. I watch every match," Evan argues, lips pursed.

"Because you're job kind of forces you to."

"Also a lie. I need to be there when I'm on shift, in case they call for me, but I'm not required to actually watch."

"Yeah, but you still do, because your pretty little morbid head goes absolutely feral at the prospect of seeing some blood."

Evan scrunches his nose, as if disgusted.

"You're wrong," Evan lies, expression giving absolutely nothing away. Really, if Barty didn't already know the truth, he'd be inclined to believe him. "It's got nothing to do with that. I like boxing."

Barty huffs, the noise filled with amusement. "Sure you do, Rosie."

"I really do," Evan insists, always so ridiculously stubborn.

"I don't know who you're trying to convince, but—"

"Teach me to fight."

Barty sputters, brows almost reaching his hairline, and he gapes at Evan, who's still staring at him. He seems unaffacted by Barty's dramatics, but then again, he's unaffected by almost everything.

"The fuck?" he manages to spit out at some point.

"Teach me to fight," Evan says again, a lot slower, as if Barty is some kind of idiot. God, he wans to fucking devour him.

Barty isn't sure of what's going on right now. Evan barely interacts with him outside of their appointments, it's always him reaching out, so he doesn't understand what prompted this. What Evan is hoping to achieve.

"Why?"

"I told you, I like boxing."

"Yeah, okay. And the real reason?"

Evan's tongue pushes against the inside of his cheek, and it's so, so hard for Barty, not to make a very inappropriate joke.

"I'm testing something," he admits, albeit bedgrugingly.

"Ah, so you want me to be your guinea pig," Barty sighs a bit dreamily. "That sounds more like it."

"Sure," Evan agrees with unsurprising ease. "Will you?"

"All you had to do was ask, Rosie."

They get to work right after that. Barty doesn't even bother with suggesting a change of clothes, because he's aware of how well that'd be received. The fact that Evan chooses to take the white coat off is already more than Barty expected.

He tries to show him how to stand, how to do a basic punch. Evan knows most of the basic theory, mostly due to how often he deals with boxing injuries, but he's absolutely helpless when he has to act it out himself.

It doesn't matter how often Barty corrects him; he keeps slouching, stance all wonky. He lacks strength, and he takes a bit too long to protect his face after doing a jab.

The main issue, though, is his obvious lack of interest.

Evan seems to be distracted by something, too inside his own head, and when Barty is about to point this out, poke some fun at him in hopes of getting Evan to snap, the other man speaks again.

"That's enough," he declares, tone leaving no place for argument. "Let's spar."

Barty chuckles, disbelieving, but then Evan is sending a glare his way, and he raises both hands in mock surrender, giving in immediately.

He'll do pretty much whatever the fuck Evan wants him to, really.

They both get into position, and regardless of how much Barty is holding back, trying to give the other man a chance, is actually kind of laughable, how easily he overcomes him.

One moment they're exchanging soft blows, and the next Barty has Evan pinned to the floor, his legs and arms completely immobilised as Barty grins maniacally from above.

"Happy now, Rosie?" he teases.

Evan presses his mouth in a tight line. "Not quite."

"Oh, really? Because I'm starting to think this was all a ruse to get me on top of you."

Evan rolls his eyes so hard Barty worries they might get stuck inside his skull. "I'm afraid that's more your style. And anyway, I don't think it's wise to understimate your opponent like this."

"It's nothing personal, Rosie, but when victory is already mine, I—"

Barty never gets to finish. Evan raises his head so quickly his brain barely registers it, and then he's sinking his teeth hard where Barty's neck meets his shoulder. Until he breaks skin, until he draws blood, until Barty lets out a pained groan and his body goes slack, more in surprise than actual hurt.

A moment later, their positions are reversed. Evan is straddling him, mouth still attached to his skin, and Barty is lying on the cold ground, dizzy and a little bit breathless.

He doesn't know how long they stay like this—definitely not enough—but after a while, Evan lets go and sits up a little, lips stained red. It's dripping down his chin, and when he parts his mouth a little, panting softly, Barty finds out that his teeth are also crimson with blood. With his blood.

Barty groans again.

"You're hard," Evan comments, painfully nonchalant. It's that same casualness he used the first time Barty had an erection during an appointment, after Evan had pulled at the stitches on his leg and stuck his fingers inside Barty's wound.

"Yeah," he breathes out, half-delirious. "Yeah, no shit."

Evan hums, cocking his head to the side, analytical gaze running up and down Barty's body and making him twitch in his pants. The fact that Evan can feel it right under him, between his legs, forces Barty to swallow down a moan.

Barty is about to say something incredibly stupid to maybe, hopefully, alleviate the tension, when Evan leans down once more; this time, slower, more careful.

He's prepared to feel the sting of a bite again, toes curling in excitement, but it never comes. Instead, there's something wet and tentative and soft lapping at the open wound, gathering all the blood there that is still coming out.

It takes Barty a moment to realise it's Evan's tongue.

The knowledge hits Barty like a motherfucking bus. He can't stop a low moan from coming out now, or his hips from thrusting up, searching for something, anything, that Evan might give him.

Surprisingly, and instead of pulling away, the other man makes an odd noise against his skin, and Barty thinks he's imagining it when Evan presses down on him.

He freezes up after that, but only for a second, Evan's licking never stopping. But then Barty moves again, more purposefully, rubbing his erection against the apex of Evan's thighs.

The response is immediate, although definitely unconscious. Evan grinds back experimentally, with no coordination or finesse, dropping another sound into Barty's bleeding wound.

His eyes widen when his brain finally catches up properly, hands coming up to grab at Evan's hips and halt his movements.

"Rosie, are you..." Barty stops, swallows harshly. "Are you turned on right now?"

Evan laps at the blood a few more times before straightening up again, staring down at Barty with unblinking eyes and red all over his face.

"Fuck, are you—?" A laugh, strained and bordering on hysterical. "Are you wet?" He doesn't even need to check to know the answer.

Evans nods, almost imperceptibly. "Apparently so."

He has half a mind to turn them over and fuck Evan into the floor. Until Evan is a whimpering mess. Until he's crying, begging, unable to do anything but fucking take it. Until he's sore, and hurt, and full, but still asking for more. Until he can't say anything else apart from Barty's name, until he's—

"Bloody hell," Barty whispers, shutting his eyes tight and letting out another cackle.

Oh, he's going to die. He's absolutely going to fucking die.

[theheartofthestar]

Prompt 20 - Florist AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 20th - 837 words

Remus looks up when he hears the door bell chime. It's a slow Tuesday, so he's just been sitting behind the counter catching up on some reading. The four men carry themselves as if they are still school boys, pushing each other and talking above one another, but by their looks Remus can tell they must be around his own age.

One of the men is finally pushed forward, all long, silky black curls framing a handsome face. Sharp nose above a perfect bow of pale lips. Remus eyes trace the man's face up to his eyes, the most beautiful set of grey eyes, unnerving yet appealing. The man clears his throat and Remus lifts his eyebrows, hoping to mask the attraction he feels behind what he hopes comes off as justified annoyance at four grown men acting like boys in a tiny flower shop on a Tuesday afternoon.

"Hi, uhm, you're handsome" the man says, and Remus smirks even through he knows his face is coloring. The other three snort.

"Subtle, Sirius, very subtle" the man with face piercings laughs.

"I mean, have you got, uhm-" Sirius pauses, as if they had walked in without a clear plan on what exactly they wanted to buy from a flower shop. "-flowers?"

"Oh my god"

"Pads!"

"Zero rizz, I swear"

"Yeah, we've got flowers" Remus feels his heart doing acrobatics on his chest. "What type are you looking for?"

"Uhm, eh, I don't know, maybe something like that?" Sirius scrambles to find something around the shop that might look like something that's ready to be sold. He ends up pointing at the flower crowns Remus made this morning, now sitting on a shelf and waiting to be delivered tomorrow morning.

"Flower crowns." Remus says, to confirm. Never mind he feels he'll probably melt if he sees this gorgeous being in a flower crown of all things.

"Yes" Sirius looks awkward, but Remus catches the very clear way his smile also carries a certain flirt. And they say the love of your life will never knock on your door.

"Oh, those are commissioned, they aren't for sale. But how about-" Remus tries to think of a way to keep them in the shop a bit longer. Maybe he'll get lucky and manage to get a phone number. "-how about I teach you how to make them? You pay for the flowers, and I'll just show you how to wave them"

It's a silly idea, but one that Lily has been pestering him about ever since they went together to that sip-and-paint some weeks ago. The dark skinned man immediately perks up.

"Like a workshop?" He says excitedly, and the man who looks just like Sirius groans. Remus thinks maybe they are brothers. "I love workshops! Yes, absolutely! Where do we sit?"

And so starts an afternoon Remus didn't plan on having, stealing glances and sharing small smiles with this handsome angel that happened to walk into his shop. Remus learns their names, listens to their friendly bickering and tries to keep his blush and his breathing under control when Sirius' calf presses against his under the table.

When they are done, the four of them wear their flower crowns proudly. The flowers in James' crown have lost half their petals, rough hands as his are. Barty refused to remove the thorns from his rose's stems, and Remus wonders idly what's up with that. Regulus' crown is by far the prettiest, and blushes brightly when James says as much. But it is Sirius' crown that looks the loveliest, because the loveliest pair of hands wove it.

The group dawdles by the door for a bit before they go, and James very obviously gives Sirius a shove towards the counter behind which Remus is trying to keep his hands busy to avoid staring at the most beautiful being he's ever laid eyes upon. But Sirius says nothing, just smiles a bit awkwardly and so Remus says nothing, just blushes and crinkles his eyes. The friends clearly feel some help is needed, because James comes forward and slings an arm around Sirius' shoulders

"So how long do these last, Remus?" James says, vaguely pointing at his and Sirius' flower crowns. Remus has to clear his throat before answering.

"About four days, I would say-" whatever he was going to continue with is interrupted by James.

"Great! So you can expect Pads here to come by to pick up another one." James pats Sirius on his chest as he says so.

"I can?

"Prongs-"

"Same time next week? Yes? Awesome, he'll bring some coffee too. It's a date, tá!" And with that, James drags a mortified looking Sirius and his other two very amused friends out of the store. Before they slide out of sight, Sirius catches his eye and smiles.

Remus smiles looking at the flower crown in his hands. Next Tuesday can't come fast enough.

(you can read more of my work here)

[sugarsnappeases]

WAIT!!!! i’ve changed my mind!!!! it was actually boyfriend by big time rush

barty seduced evan by serenading him with everyone’s fave romantic love song - boyfriend by justin bieber

[l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft]

Marauders Arcane AU Idea Dump Part 2

@taleofapart-timepoet I have more lol But only cos @cheekyboybeth was enabling my madness in the comments of one of our posts

Starting off strong with the rest of my episode 2 ideas:

“Nobody wins in war, Sirius.” That whole conversation is very Alphard to me so we need that I think

Idk if i feel like doing the ‘Jayce almost slip n sliding’ thing so we gotta come up with another way Lily and Panda meet

“What makes you different makes you strong” - use this bit maybe? Idk we’ll see how the rest of the ep plays out for them

Episode 3:

The Silco flashback in the beginning can tie into Riddle’s backstory??? Something something with Alphard

“You’ve got a good heart, never lose it.” - Alphard, Sirius content is WINNING

Possibly do ^^this chapter from Alphard’s POV and then have an interlude that’s Sirius’ POV

Make all that^^ the end of a chapter to leave everyone on a miserable cliffhanger after Alphard gets captured

Start with some pandalilly content the chapter after :)

Have a nice but angsty lil James and Sirius moment when they debrief about Monty dying and Alphard getting caught

Silly goofy scene of mary catching pandalily while they’re trying to break in and get lilly’s research

The whole “you’re not ready” scene needs to HURT

“Crank it” joke required

And then ofc the scene with the hex cores and powder’s freak out moment are ALSO important but we’ll probably tone it down just a little bit to fit regulus’ character a bit better (A/N: okay for this one I imagine a sort of pacing, regulus falling into a bit of an inferiority spiral thinking of all the ways he feels like he's failed Sirius up until then. More of a panic attack then a breakdown cos i feel like that's more his forte)

The entire bit from when vi and crew make it to rescue vander up until the end of the episode will possibly be its own chapter? At least a VERY sizeable chunk of the chapter

^^alternate sirius and regulus POV

We DO have to include the oogly moogly scientist bits with pandora and lily cos that is important

Use the monkey clanging or the individual bomb explosions as a sort of measurement for how fast things happened after regulus throws in the bomb (A/N: OKAY THIS??? Let me see if I can paint a picture properly. I'd love to start the scene with a "As (description of whatever happens and regulus throws in the bomb), (insert number here) things happened all at once." and then describe how the bomb rolls in and bounces. And each time it bounces, do a description of one of the aforementioned things happens. I dunno how to fully describe it, I may have to write out a snippet and make a post on that to fully describe but AGH! it is SO good in my head)

Random Ideas I've Had:

I want to focus a bit more on James and Regulus' relationship in the first few chapters before it all goes to hell so that the scene on the bridge when the two of them will fight hurts as much as it should

not plot related, but it would be LOT to have one fic for season 1 and one fic for season 2. like a sequel. cos pitfighter sirius???? are you fucking KIDDING ME?? I will die

obviously the prison Vi is in is gonna be Azkaban for this AU, so that's super cool

I would LOVE to pay homage to the horcruxes in the way that Silco has his who creepy stuff on his face (idk I don't play league so i don't know the lore

I am THRILLED to have Mary as Mel cos agh! her character arc is going to be FANTASTIC and i love that I get to let Mary commit crimes

OH MY GOSH- I just had the idea to have Barty and Evan as Clagger and Milo and it's going to be FANTASTIC having the two of them haunting the narrative (and regulus' conscience) the way milo and clagger do for jinx

uhhhhhh that's all I have? for now? I think? but I'm certain I'll have more. Thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 46

chapter 70:

1. “And now the furniture is covered in dust, the books haven't been touched, the flowers are dead, the food has spoiled, and all the little pieces of himself from before feel foreign to him, like they're from a complete stranger.”

why did i blindly hope that crimson rivers couldn’t get more sad??

2. “Regulus couldn't have imagined it, then. Barty dying. Being dead. He was safe, aged out from reapings, and he would have made it if the war hadn't taken him.”

i want to gnaw on something. this is driving me crazy. i need to go eat dirt oh my god

3. every time i briefly forget about evan in this fic, his name is name dropped like a fucking bomb from the sky and i literally want to break a window

4. “And then there's Sirius, who barely knows what to do with his own pain, struggling to balance it, like he's not allowed to have it, feeling like an imposter for simply daring to grieve a man who wasn't his father as a father, as if that man didn't love him as a son.” the monty and sirius bond are still making me cry, actually

5. “I know I will be dead long before you read this,”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

once again, had to voice memo my freind

6. welcome back to another round of lily vs the fridge

7. mary: you love dorcas

lily: NOOO!!! only you babes 😘

mary: fucking dumbass

8. idk how to explain it, but i’m glad that mary and lily (and dorcas and marlene) had such complex relationships. they weren’t just the badass lesbians who had it all together and had a perfect relationship that scoffed at the silly boys. they love just as hard and fumble just as hard. their relationships are far from perfect and are very messy. i love it

9. “His dad watched these flowers bloom.

His dad never saw them die.”

*eye twitch*

10. maybe i shouldn’t blame dorcas, but i’m kinda pissed at her for not showing up to marlene’s funeral

11. “Barty got a funeral, too. Regulus planned that one, and you could tell, because it was done so delicately.”

screaming crying throwing up

what if i never spoke again? as like some sort of stupid protest? as like a statement to show how upset i am over bartys death? huh?? what would you do then bizzarestars????? huh?????????

12. “Vanity got honored as a war hero in the Hallow, a statue raised in her honor on the castle grounds, replacing Riddle's legacy.” i’m actually losing my mind. i want to shovel grass in my mouth and chew stained glass. idk or drink a latte or something

13. bro i’m so mad that sirius was 100% right about how james wouldn’t grieve around him, always wanting to take care of sirius, which is why he has to leave. i’m so mad. i’m so mad. this is gonna hurt

14. “”Fucking hell, James, we're still in love, so calm down. It's—it's not an actual breakup, you know."” -sirius

😭😭😭 they’re such soulmates omg

15. oh god it hurt more than i thought. james thought sirius was about to break the news about remus leaving. not sirius leaving. james never once considered that sirius would leave

16. SNSKDNJSNSMSKSM THEYRE KISSING YAY OMG JEGULUS KISSS OMGGG AFTER LITERALLY TWO MONTHS THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

chapter 71:

1. “[Regulus] is such a sweet boy, and yes, yes, [Effie] has seen him murder, but that matters very little to her, overall” me talking about my favorite characters 🥰

2. wolfstar

currently wanting to gnaw through concrete and plywood over them

3. “Remus also calls Lily every day. They're more discreet about it, not practically confessing their love and trying to make out through the screen the way James and Sirius do”

remus: this is my boyfreind sirius, and that’s my boyfreind’s boyfreind, james ♥️

4. remus thinking of sirius as a helicopter parent towards regulus has me in fucking tears omg that’s so funny

5. “That's the first time they have sex after the war, when Remus tells Sirius how he made Riddle pay for all that he'd done.”

idk, but that’s not the sentence i was expecting

6. 😭😭😭 remus realizing that lyall never liked any of his ex boyfreinds, and the fact that he approves of sirius, the murderer, is laughable

7. jealous sirius kissing remus within an inch of his life 😭😭😭

8. “It's no secret that Sirius likes the hickies, but it's not just him; the truth is, the only thing Remus likes more than getting to put them there is getting to see them there.”

uhhh um uhhhhh hot

9. 👀 they getting nasty

10. james being a teacher >>>>>>>>>>>

11. what are sirius and regulus gonna get up to?

12. it’s heartbreaking that lily and mary have to raise bingley. on one hand, it’s domestic and it’s their little family. on the other hand, they never should have had to do this. lily cooks and tucks him into bed and raises him. but she’s not his mom. and mary raises bingley. but she’s not his mom. and it’s so scary to navigate this

13. THE BAGELS

14. james’ knife kink >>>>>>>>>

15. omg i’m a blubbering mess. they have a home together!!!

16. hello!???? they’re dancing together????? in their home?????? what if i burst into tears?????

17. AWWWWW JAMES PROPOSED AGAIN

18. please please please please tell me we get a marriage chapter