#or maybe a hysterectomy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

switchytransboy · 5 months ago

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damn bottom surgery would be so dope if it didn’t involve an entire life savings, a list of potential risks of things that could go wrong or not work after, and was more perfected and safe

it’s like i want it until i research again more and get so discouraged at the process, the pain, the money, the time it takes, the risks.

i don’t even feel the strongest need to have a dick for sex, i just have a squirrel bladder and it would be incredible to pee wherever whenever without troubles LMAO

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bredforloyalty · 5 months ago

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you ever go out in public and feel like an alien

#i am so bad at pretending to be human holy shit. jesus fucking christ #the galactic council is going to subpoena me and shoot me back into space. because my behavior is threatening to expose alien activity on #earth #or the men in black will get me.#because Jesus Christ.#plus i felt like everyone was staring and couldn't stop ruminating like is it my dyed hair is it my hairy limbs is it my #FUCKASS shoes does my bra not fit what is it. what is it why can't i be like those other women #no one will ever love me romantically btw and i'm lucky to have trapped the friends i do have. and there's the bad bitch i pulled by #being born 19 months earlier to the same parents #anyway i'm home i will crawl back into my hole now. my hole in the ground #this is probably half pms. i wish i could have a hysterectomy because this for decades more is. well #suicide-inducing. or maybe that's just me. both are bad #it's whatever<3 #kata.txt

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orcelito · 2 months ago

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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.

And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...

And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!

I shall simply write fanfic about it.

#speculation nation #pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died #and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What #but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman #and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state #but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it #thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.

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dracolizardlars · 2 months ago

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Actually so fucked up being a trans person who sincerely and genuinely doesn't want to transition. Like, not for practical reasons, I mean that if I could magically transition instantly and everyone would be 100% accepting about it I would still not want to. Isn't that fucked? I don't even have issues with "what if I'm just cis" much, I'm nonbinary as hell and HATE thinking about the fact that I'm generally perceived as female.

But all the fucking masc stuff sucks and I don't want it!!!

#draco speaks #I've literally had at least 4 friends including very close friends go through transmasc transition #So it's not like internalised transphobia or misandry lmfao and I know exactly what it entails I just Do Not Want It #google how to make everyone stop perceiving me as female and gender me correctly without changing anything #banging my head against the wall #all I want is a hysterectomy and maybe a slight breast reduction #and to just be able to like. fucking exist in peace ungendered #i mean what I really want is to be a hawk or perhaps a wolf instead of a human person but yknow realistic goals

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re-velogs · 3 months ago

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so fucking busy the rest of the year. being alive is awesome :]

#i have 4 classes this semester and 2 of them r music relateddd i love my major #my financial aid package FINALLY PROCESSED after like 7 months lol #so i just have to figure out disbursement #i have surgery in october to have a hysterectomy and oophorectomy #and then i am gonna be out of work for 4 weeks (but still doing classes lol...)#and i have 2 more cohorts to facilitate #and a training video and some projects to pull together #and a brainstorm session tomorrow #and im going to a baseball game for work on thursday!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!#and if my finaid is as much as theyre saying it will be my rent for the rest of the year is paid #which would mean all my paychecks can go directly to #medical costs and other bills n savings #which puts me so fucking closer to moving out next year #if i play my cards right i can pay all my debts between now and march/april of next yesr #and then i will be able to fucking!!!!!!! move!!!!!!!#wait guys im emotional i had a shitty medical procedure i had to endure as part of pre op a d #literally in the last hour im back to feeling so fucking energized #ohhh my gd i love being alive please please please lef this work out #im gonna stART PLANNING W MY FRIENDS FOR A SPRING TRRIP NEXT YEAR?#AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! maybe even planning another trip w 19 bc i saw a cool cabin to stay in LMAO #just. yells. oh my gd #please please let this work out even 50% of the way of what it looks like it could be

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renlyslittlerose · 11 months ago

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Pray for me that my migraine lifts sometime today so I can write a fluffy obikin drabble and feel a little less like I got kicked down a mountainside

#i know migraine frequencies change and develope or recede as you age #but i went through a good two years where they werent bothering me quite as much and i thought maybe id turned a corner #but my mum told me she got worse in her 30s and im so so tired u guys #if my upcoming hysterectomy doesnt change things for the better im gonna go see the doc about botox

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dreamlogic · 6 months ago

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musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"

#meatsuit renno #chronic blogging #ctxt #at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache #and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right #after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen #nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws #about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site #it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip #this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully #this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now #i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly #about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar #couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep #finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me #finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy #started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately #i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature #but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws #the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement #then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening #it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept #that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside #but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT #the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin #it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble #as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence #my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal #i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long #i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.

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blind-radio-waves · 1 year ago

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The amount of surgeries I have to go through to make this body not physically disgusting for me to exist in is some fucking bullshit

#at least two #maybe three #thats some bullshit !!#the host ask blog #sorry researching fuckin full hysterectomies rn cause the best I can do alone is just #stall it until it hurts and then die for three days #and i dont wanna do that anymore!!#still bullshit #bleaugh

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vamptits · 9 months ago

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quick we're having surgery tomorrow let's get our period early to make the whole thing more unpleasant. like okay?

#and its not even a hysterectomy or anything :( maybe i can bribe a doctor to do a 3 for one

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tiny-tokunaga · 9 months ago

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Today I finally had the appointment I've been waiting for since December and it went better than I imagined. The doctors were SO nice and listened and so knowledgeable?? They answered my questions easily and then some, and were even familiar with my other conditions???? It's been hours and I'm still in shock over how smooth everything was??? Anyway, I'll be getting surgery this year and while it won't cure me (impossible, unfortunately) it should improve my quality of life tremendously and I'm so excited 😭

#it's a little scary and kinda sad though because in another life i think I'd be a good mom #and I'd love to have children but i think it would just be irresponsible at best and deadly at worst for me tbh #but my endometriosis is just so bad that I'm getting a hysterectomy #maybe someday I'll be in a place where i can adopt kids but that would be way down the road #if at all #is this tmi? sorry i have zero shame talking about my shitty body LMFAO #becca babbles

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theuniversalharvester · 3 months ago

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i'd like to breastfeed a man in a non-sexual way. like i have to nourish him so he doesn't die of starvation

#do you see what im saying here #i think maybe this is the hysterectomy talking #delete later

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lilnasxvevo · 3 months ago

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So I’ve been on T for about 3 and a half years and my periods stopped almost immediately, but I really fucked up on getting my T refilled in a timely manner recently so my period is back—the first one I’ve had in a couple years, which is the last time I fucked up my T refills this bad.

Me: So I think I might have endometriosis? Because this is the first time it’s really occurred to me that it’s probably not actually normal to have cramps in places that aren’t your uterus…

My mom: Oh yeah, I used to have endometriosis and your sister has it too.

Me: EXCUSE ME?

#I have no idea why my mom said ‘used to’ except that I think she’s post menopausal so I guess she wouldn’t get symptoms anymore?#or maybe she got a hysterectomy? that sounds like the kind of thing she wouldn’t tell me

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thefandomlesbian · 24 days ago

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Tackling the very real possibility that I feel like I'm dying and healthcare in America has decided my life isn't worth the time expenditure of what it would take to save me

#personal #maybe its not that deep but i feel like it is #my problem was diagnosed five days ago with the only treatment being a hysterectomy #and i still dont have surgery scheduled yet #they have dubbed it as a routine need #but i have an active infection in my uterus #that cant escape #so i am carrying it around with me and the oral antibiotics are not helping my discomfort #and this is not an issue for anyone but me

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anarchypumpkincowboy · 1 month ago

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my mom just walked up to me and said “I found a lesbian” and then waited like a good few moments to where i almost said “good for you” before she finished that thought with “obgyn so i’m making an appt for you with her since all your others try to blame your trans stuff for your problems”

#so everyone wish me luck #hey maybe i can get her to sign off on T since planned parenthood isn’t currently an option #or!!! maybe she’ll be more accepting of the fact that i want a fucking hysterectomy since my ovaries and uterus hate me

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coquelicoq · 1 year ago

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just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.

#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus #highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol #also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding #plus i was anemic before that also #plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway #as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something #and i'm still sick lolllll #so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot #and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other #anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on #not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on #do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider #i would sooner get a hysterectomy #so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now #if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3

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dreamlogic · 9 months ago

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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

#ctxt #i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections #to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh #going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long #while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time #but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed #to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach #and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me #and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually #i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever #i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it #money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out #but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now #genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year #and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough #to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last #in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was #bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive #and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there #but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety #it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it #i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults #i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed #instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things #and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need #chronic blogging

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