#or major disaster :'))
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yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.
phoenix wright
phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright
phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright
phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright
phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright
phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright
phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright
phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright
phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright
phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright
just
phoenix wright
crunchiest man in the world
and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him
#ace attorney#where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white??#i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE#this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw#where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general?#where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle?#the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it?#where is the fic about the week of his disbarment?#the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm?#the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years?#where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic?#where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic?#no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic#where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic?#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?#capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes#but that's not what they're actually showing me#they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that#and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained#his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so#and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person#who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions#i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points#the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it#is his sexiest trait as a character by far#but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes#so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it#my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me#my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man#my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!
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In 5x18, Eddie and Buck patch up the walls that Eddie had previously torn down. Eddie tells Buck "you're the guy who likes to fix things".
By 6x17, Eddie is at the hardware store with Bobby, specifically Bobby, and not Buck, discussing healing and being able to "fix" the broken parts of you (moving forward through grief for a loved one). And he goes on to meets Marisol in said store, and throughout season 7 attempts again to fix this perceived broken part of himself through her.
Significantly, Buck isn't there at the hardware store with Eddie. Even though Buck is always just randomly around Eddie in most of his scenes out of work, even though Buck has already worked on school projects with Chris this season. Buck is separated from this conversation; Eddie doesn't see him as a replacement for Shannon in this way. Eddie doesn't see the space that Buck holds in his heart as a place to be fixed or examined.
But by 7x10, we round back to Buck, there to help Eddie fix things. Marisol was not who Eddie needed and Eddie stumbled when faced with an opportunity to try and fix his own past mistakes, and Buck is there to do "what you always do".
Throughout season 7 Buck and Eddie simply CANNOT separate each other from their romantic lives and their journeys are so massively intertwined, often the only consistency within their messiness, and they keep accidentally colliding with each other at every corner. Wherever they turn, the other is there, ready to try for the other one.
#someone throw another major disaster their way please#they can fix it this time#911 abc#9-1-1#eddie diaz#9 1 1#buddie#jwpyyy#911 show#evan buckley#911 season 7#911 season 8#911 season 6#911 6x17#911 5x18#911 7x10#analysis ones
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when you finish work at 5pm and the cunty vampire flash mob starts at 5:15 🤦
#enhypenet#enhypenedit#kpopedit#enhypen#enha#ni-ki#enhypen ni-ki#userbloomingwarrior#danablr#usergyu#userbibs#userzaynab#tgjelly#pov you show up to the shortest gifs competition and the 2nd gif in this set is ur opponent.. major L FOR YEWWWWWWW#tbh that night scene looks great in the video but what a fucking gifmaking disaster for me honestly.. just tew much.#whatever. it's over. the night scene in the no doubt mv isn't real it can't hurt me.#z.enhypen#z.riki#z.gif
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Hellebores (shattered)
Hey guys, I’ve decided to try something a little new. This is a fic I’ve been working on for the last month now, and I wanted to share a small snippet of the beginning with you guys since it’ll be a bit longer before I’m able to post it on ao3.
This is a Donnie centric story that will take place after the invasion (like my other fanfic), but the beginning kicks off during the end battle.
⚠️Trigger warning for this fic will include: Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, Paralysis, Internalized Ablism, PTSD, Medical Stuff; you know, the works.
Please let me know your thoughts once you’ve read this, I’d love to hear them <3
Word count: 1,845
———
Being apart of the Technodrome was... incredible. Being so wholly welcomed into such vast knowledge and power was thrilling- world changing. He was everything. He was everywhere. Nothing was out of his reach. He could feel the space in his head expand, his senses heightened to new levels, and as long as he ignored the pain in his shell and the prickling in his limbs and the pressure in his head, he would describe this as the best experience of his life. Truly, nothing could ever compare.
And then he was ripped out.
Violently.
Without any care to what it would do to him.
And suddenly the greatest experience of his life had turned into a living nightmare. He had never felt pain like this before, and not a second too soon, he blacks out.
———
"...nie!"
"Donnie, wake up!"
Donnie's eyes blearily crack open, dizzying colors invade his senses, and he fights the urge to close them again. He can hear himself wheezing, struggling to take in a full breath. He feels his head dipping down towards his chest, and he realizes he's being held up. Blinking to try to clear the haze from his vision, he looks around to his brothers, who are all being held up by the same gooey Krang matter. Donnie almost does a double take when he sees Raph, with the Krang's influence gone, but he doesn't even get a second to revel in this new development, because Leo and Mikey are suddenly yelling for him again.
"Donnie, c'mon, you have to fight it!" Leo shouts from across the room. A flash of blue lights up the room, and Donnie can feel the electricity of his brothers ninpō light up in his chest. And now that he's focusing on it, he can feel Raph's ninpō there too, strong and steady. Feeling that spark ignites something within his own kindling, and when Mikey's ninpō joins the mix, that's all the push Donnie needs before a beam of striking purple joins the cacophony.
There's yelling, but Donnie's ears are ringing, and everything sounds like it's happening behind a wall of cotton. He sees everyone's ninpō burning away the Krang matter that was holding them up, and he assumes the same was happening to him, but he could barely feel it.
Donnie drags in a breath, feeling like he was breathing through a straw, and uses all of his strength to lift up his right arm to pull at the Krang gunk that was pulling at his neck. If I could just get a moment to catch my breath...
And then the Krang matter is gone, and he's falling.
Donnie lands hard on his side, pain flaring through the upper part of his spine and echoing out across his chest, and the impact forces a weak cough out of him that takes away the little bit of air he had managed to gain in his lungs.
"Donnie!" he hears from above, but his eyes are slipping shut again, his energy spent.
There's a soft thud next to him, and a gentle hand on the side of his face. "Donnie, open your eyes man, please. C'mon, just open your eyes."
Leo.
Donnie slowly peels open his eyes again, despite how badly he wanted to just let them remain closed. Because Leo asked nicely.
Donnie drags in another breath.
Why is it still so hard to breathe?
"There you are," Leo sighs, a confusing mix of worry and relief painted on his face.
Donnie hears quick footsteps behind him and a soft gasp, "his shell," "oh Donnie," but when he tries to turn his head to see who's talking, Leo's hand that was still on his face presses down lightly to keep his head in place. "Don't move."
Donnie's head is starting to feel light from the lack of oxygen.
"Oh my god, Leo, what do we do." Mikey. That's Mikey. Donnie's fingers twitch against the ground as he tries once again to turn his head to see his baby brother, but Leo's hand remains firm.
"We have to move." Raph. His big brother is here too. Wait...
Donnie's already unsteady breathing halts, his eyes going wide. "Wait," he croaks out, all eyes turning back on him, "if you're all here... the Krang." Donnie's words slur, and his sentence ends in another wheezing breath.
The others share a confused look above him. Leo looks back down to meet Donnie's eyes, gently taking his hand with the one that wasn't securing the softshell's head. But Donnie could barely feel it. Everything felt so disconnected and muffled. Shock, maybe.
"Donnie," Leo says sharply, like he'd been calling his name a few times. Donnie drags his eyes back up to Leo, blinking through another round of haze. "Donnie, you're holding them off. Or, at least I'm assuming it's you. There's a big purple dome around us, and you're glowing, so..."
Huh?
"Leo," Raph says urgently from wherever he is. Donnie still can't see him or Mikey. If only I could just sit up... "We still need to get the Krang through that portal." There's hesitation in his voice, and Donnie wishes he could see his face.
"I know!" Leo snaps, voice trembling and eyes brimming with overwhelmed tears. It felt so unlike him. He'd only seen Leo make that face a few times in their lifetime, and most of what he could count were from the last 24 hours. Donnie focuses solely on flexing his fingers around Leo's hand, and Leo squeezes back automatically, looking back down at him but still talking to Raph. "I know, but- we can't move him like this."
"Leo, we can't stay here," Donnie hears Mikey say from somewhere above him.
Donnie watches as a tear rolls down Leo's cheek, catching the purple lighting of Donnie's ninpō. Then Leo squares his shoulders and his face hardens, eyes glancing up to meet the others above him, and Donnie knows that he's come to a decision.
"Raph, in a few minutes I'm going to need you to pick up Dee. As carefully as you possibly can. I'll portal you down to a safe spot. Donnie actually managed to get the ship pretty close to the portal before the Krang grabbed him and Mikey, so all Mikey and I have to do is push the big guy through. I need you to watch Dee, if you can find anything hard and flat to lay him on once you're down there, that would be best. Make sure he doesn't move." Good, Donnie thinks as he listens to his twin slip back into his leader voice, Leo's got this covered. Donnie can feel his eyes slipping shut again right as Leo's eyes shift back over to him. "Dee, look at me, I need you to focus."
Donnie would have rolled his eyes at the slider if he wasn't feeling so sluggish. Instead, he tries to hum to let him know he's listening, but it turned more into a weak groan.
"Before I have Raph pick you up, I'm going to do a quick check to see how you're doing. I need you to keep the shield up, okay? Can you do that for me? No, don't move your head, I got it," Leo adds quickly, pulling their hands apart to stop Donnie from nodding with both of his hands.
"Okay," Leo says, more to himself, as he finally lets go of Donnie's head, throwing a sharp glare in his direction with one more, "don't move," as he picks up Donnie's wrist to take his pulse.
He frowns, clearly not pleased with what he's feeling, but he moves on anyways, carefully shifting his head to lean against Donnie's chest. It was difficult since Donnie was on his side, and Leo seemed to take extra care in making sure not to jostle him. Leo's frown only deepens. This check up clearly wasn't going well. Damn, there goes my perfect test scores...
Then Leo goes to check his eyes, but without a pen light to use and the lighting around them being so dim, he gives up on that, moving to hold Donnie's hands instead.
"Squeeze my hands," Leo instructs.
Donnie has to dig through his energy reserve moving his fingers, and he notices that his right hand reacts before his left. Huh. But either way, he manages to give Leo's hands a weak, lopsided squeeze, which seemed to be good enough for now because Leo nods approvingly.
"Okay, now wiggle your toes for me." The slider sits up a bit straighter to look at the softshell's feet. Or, where Donnie assumes they must be, because he can't feel anything below his chest. Donnie's never been in shock before, and after this experience, he never wants to again. Though, that's a bit redundant. No one ever wants to go into shock, that would be masochistic. But Donnie definitely would rate this experience a zero out of ten, would not recommend-
"Donnie, focus," Leo says, placing a hand on Donnie's arm, bringing Donnie back to the present. "I need you to wiggle your toes." Was Donnie becoming delusional, or was there a hint of desperation in his brother's tone? Probably both.
So Donnie wiggles his toes like Leo has asked of him, if only to ease his brother's concern.
"Donnie, seriously, man. Move your toes so we can finish this up. I know you're feeling kinda out of it right now but-"
What? "I already did," Donnie mumbles out, immediately wishing he hadn't spoken when such a simple task leaves him breathless and dizzy.
"What? No, dude, you didn't. Try again." Leo's tone sharpens, eyes going wide, despite his casual wording.
Donnie furrows his smudged brows. "What're you talkin about?" Donnie tries to get an arm under him to push himself up, turning his head towards his legs, confused, but the second he tries to move, Leo's on top of him again.
"Stop! Stop moving," Leo shouts hurriedly. Donnie can feel the sharp sting of Leo's panic through their interlinked ninpō, and suddenly there's a shift in the air. Ignoring Leo's frantic pleads and shaking hands, Donnie tilts his head up slowly, painfully, and sees the large purple dome he had accidentally created to surround them shudder. A loud pounding followed by muffled rage filled roars could be heard just outside of the shield, as the Krang leader slams his fists into the structure, clearly becoming impatient.
When the Krang brings his fists down again, the structure glitches.
Donnie gasps, along with his brothers, and by pure instinct he pushes more energy into the shield. The world starts spinning and the corners of his vision go dim as he uses up the last of his reserves, and when Donnie blinks his eyes back open, his head is laying on the ground again. Leo's shouting something to someone, and there's a flash of bright, neon blue, and there's a large arm shifting under him. The last thing he sees is a burst of purple pixels as the dome shatters before his eyes slip shut.
———
Okay so I really have no idea how to format anything on this app, so if it’s hard to read, I’m so sorry 😭
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#rise donnie#rottmnt donnie#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanfiction#rise fanfic#rise of the tmnt fanfiction#tmnt fanfiction#fanfic#rise donnie fanfic#rottmnt Donnie fanfic#disaster twins#tw major injury#tw paralysis#tcest dni#hellebores
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in another movie they would’ve been enemies to lovers
#absolutely miserable wet cat disaster bi with codependency issues#x#desperate to be loved puppy twink with major mommy issues#the perfect match#renfield#is there a ship name for them yet#renbo#idk#teddy lobo#nicholas hoult#ben schwartz
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Buck coming out but not specifying his sexuality is so important to me. Like, I know they’ve confirmed he’s bi, but he’s not gonna 100% know that after the couple days it’s been since his revelation. His whole view of himself has changed, there’s no way he kissed Tommy and went yep I’m bi always have been always will be. The fact they showed this and had Buck say yeah, look I don’t know what I want BUT I know I want it with a guy is perfect, because he’s still working it out and often times I think queer arcs in tv are very much like here’s a character here’s their sexuality enjoy, but allowing Buck the chance to explore with Tommy without putting any labels/pressure on it is so refreshing and a lot more realistic.
#though I could see Buck pulling a nick nelson and doing all the ‘am I gay?’ quizzes#and a second date at a major family event doesn’t scream no pressure#but it’s another win from bi buck#or is it ally buck now?#911 abc#911 spoilers#evan buckley#118 firefam#eddie diaz#maddie buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#bisexual evan buckley#bisexual disaster evan buckley#911 7x05
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Just bonkers to me that some think we should've missed out entirely on having years of Ncuti Gatwa as the Doctor rather than suffer the minor inconvenience of having to watch two Doctor-lite episodes in one season.
#doctor who#dw#ncuti gatwa#fifteenth doctor#so many of the replies to that tweet are just absurd#people going on as if this is some kind of major disaster the show can't recover from#as if 73 yards wasn't one of the most acclaimed episodes of the season#some are talking as if ncuti has hardly been in the show at all#ruby road to boom is just one long showcase for his doctor#and they were heavily focused on his friendship with ruby#so also don't buy the complaint we've barely seen them together
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some of you ppl need to rewatch episodes with Rob in them bc you're spreading misinformation about the things Rob does... not gonna call anybody out in particular but yeah
#btw major post-void episodes are: the nobody; the nemesis; the bus; the disaster; the rerun; the ex; the spinoffs; the future; the last ep#tawog#rob tawog#tawog rob#the amazing world of gumball#rob wrecker#the amazing world of elmore#dr wrecker#gumball
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Hayes has thought about it at least once and y'all know it
#seriously though they had so much tension it might've eased things a little#disasters. both of them 🥰#i was halfway through a jag episode and this came to me so of course i had to do it#hayes/reed#malcolm reed#major hayes#star trek enterprise#enterprise#star trek#charlesattemptsediting
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When life gives you lemons invent a plaguesona and make it everyone's problem for centuries to come.
#shoutout to bai wuxiang for coming up with a coping mechanism of truly unmatched caliber#nr 1 weirdest man in this whole series and that is saying something#we have a fertility god living a life of phobia induced celibacy and a bipolar disaster cannibal father figure ex-prince demon lord and yet#i feel for him but at you have to draw the sympathy line somewhere after the third annihilated civilisation#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#tgcf spoilers#major spoilers#jun wu#bai wuxiang#white no face
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I've seen people talk about what course kabru would be in a collage, and Im tired of it. Guys. He'd be an environmental social science major.
#text#dungeon meshi#kabru of utaya#delicious in dungeon#We as a collective should agree thay he would be in some form of humanities major. any form of rebuttal out be futile.#why did i pick environmental social science?#well utaya is very much a natural disaster. and we know that one of kabrus all time goals is to prevent another utaya from happening#he also wants to know the secret of the dungeon and also prevent the elves from claiming the land.#and in the narrative he does prevent it from happening but he does so in a very political way (lol#very in character for him)#so by that logic the real world equalv would be him advocating for environmental rights and policies for disaster mitigation#which is! enviromental social science.#HE WOULD NOT BE IN BUISNESSSSSSSSSS HES A NEPO BABY CMON.
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They get bigger | Next
#ts4#indya#black simblr#Indya has had major FOGO for quite some time#if you're familiar you'll know why#we should talk about how looks fade and for some women#that spells disaster#but are we ready to have that discussion?#anyway..... this made me feel some kinda way#when shit is relatable even to the author lol#ts4 story#sims 4 story#simblr#ch22
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clone wars war crime compilations are hillarious and im tired of pretending they are not
#i wonder who has a bigher war crime count#the bad batch or obiwan-anakin-ahsoka trio#the disaster lineage goes around trolling the whole war#vader: you are a war criminal like your mother before you#leia: i am not a war criminal. and neither was my mother!#meanwhile padme#guilty of terrorism and major fucking bank fraud#yall remember that episode where she staged and attack on the banks to manipulate the owners and steal data#i love her#star wars#clone wars#obiwan kenobi#star wars clone wars#ahsoka tano#anakin skywalker#captain rex#padme amidala
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Final Veilguard Thoughts
I just completed Veilguard 100% platinum (though honestly it is one of the easiest platinums so not much accomplishment there). I have to say again it is not a bad GAME just bad Dragon Age. It reeks of multiplayer and loses everything that made DA unique because of it. And the epilogue is a slap in the face with their “we honor past stories and stories are about change” fourth wall bs and lack of closure. But below the cut is a massive amount of spoilers.
The TL;DR is it’s just a massive missed opportunity and a reboot.
The game up until Weisshaupt is sub par. Boring. It is like they knew the middle and end and then realized they’d have to do a beginning. And then just catered to the newbies and halfassed everything or didn’t do more than one draft. Again the repeating, the handholding the lore while also spoiling everything unnecessarily.
Ghil’s introduction is clownish. Treviso and Minrathous was just fucking blah especially compared to the later missions. It’s just a single fight. And the dialogue Ghil gets? It just makes her a joke. It’s not until Weisshaupt that you see oh she’s crazy and a goddess. It actually felt big while the stupid binary choice was just “eh pick who to fuck I guess”. Maybe if there were other choices like that, it wouldn’t feel so…thrown in there for the sake of supposed stakes.
But the first forty hours (if you are like me and refuse to do main story stuff until everything else is done) is just bad build up. I did not want to push forward until after Weisshaupt. It should NOT take half the game to actually get good. Blood of Arlathan was amazing. It actually felt like I was against a god. It was DIFFERENT than all the other running around quests the game had been up to that point.
I think it would’ve benefitted from more diversity overall. Like gameplay diversity. I think the combat especially needed more. It fucking sucks. It’s just a button masher with no thought. And every boss and big enemy is the same: shield, find the things to pop to break shield, rinse and repeat two-four more times. On storyteller difficulty it’s a joke. And every mission is just fight forward. No puzzle or interesting quests except Blood of Arlathan. Maybe Weisshaupt from the “everything is fucked” thing (it really felt like there should’ve been another REAL everything is fucked, dodging shit that fucked up Treviso/Minrathous to really introduce Ghil) The ending is a bit of a slog too but I enjoyed the cutscenes and war council stuff (again because it was different and interesting and felt like Rook actually had a reason to do it). The end boss battle was cool though not a big fan of the kaiju battles. I called the plot twists at the beginning of the game. Not sure if that's a mark for or against the writing. And the more interesting bits about regret weren’t given enough time to really sink in.
So I think it’s a pacing issue as well as a dialogue issue. I feel like they missed an opportunity to really do something with Rook’s regrets. They are just optimistic and driven all the fucking time that by the time we get trapped in the prison, that’s the first time we see Rook has self doubts and whatnot. There’s this one dialogue line that hit with the masc 1 voice, talking with Solas afterwards that’s “I liked working with you” and it just hits. Where was that emotion before? That level of feeling in the dialogue? If the game is about regrets why didn’t they lean into it??? Instead they leave it blank and deprive Rook of anything interesting, of the thing that made them UNIQUE among the DA protags.
I mean the Inquisitor could be "idk what's going on and why I'm here", but they didn't really have the option to doubt themselves. Hawke was our "everything falls apart around me and I'm just pure chaos" protag. And the Warden was the "Guess I'm in charge now, everyone deal with it" protag. Rook could've been really interesting, to show the different kinds of doubts and regrets. Maybe they are just a scared kid trying to hold it together because they've fucked up everything else in their life. Or maybe they are just pissed that they are the one stepping up. (I also think they could've added depth to the whole elf god thing. Could've also been a nice reason to "fix" the DA racism instead of pastel paint it over). They could’ve utilized the companions to show they cared about Rook that they see what they are going through.
But nope! Bland nothing you have to headcanon your way out of. And Rook is still blander than Origins because everyone knows who they are but the player. They should’ve done something about the backgrounds to set the scene for each Rook. Like resolve them in the game too, not just introductory scenes. Like Aldwir could've had a special mission where them and Strife hash it out (with probably more yelling) cause I kinda felt Strife was Rook's father figure and it would hurt to be constantly told they fucked up by him. Mercar could've had scenes with their family, talking about what it is to lead. SOMETHING to tie Rook to the story and flesh them out beyond headcanons (any developer who relies on headcanons to make their stories interesting, unless the protag is meant to be a Dovahkiin blank space, is fucking lazy, rushed or bad at their job. I don't want to be told "this is the correct Rook", I want enough personality and story to sink my teeth into and Rook is a paper thin vanilla wafer) And they are fucking contradictory? You choose the elf option for tattoos in the beginning and Rook states they were not raised Dalish. They tell Taash they were raised in a city. Then you can say you are Dalish??? And have all the knowledge of a Dalish about the culture. When canonically that’s doubtful. But nope rainbows and sunshine no problems here.
Then the companions are the biggest missed opportunity. I can forgive shitty gameplay (Andromeda) if the companions are good. And this is where the multiplayer starts really showing up. The fact that 90% of their bonding is completely missable and requires you to go into their rooms, stand there, and then just leave without a word from Rook is bullshit (and weird as fuck). Even Andromeda let you have conversations outside cutscenes.
And there’s a lack of balance between the characters. Fucking Taash has like 20 cutscene things and everyone else gets a quarter of that. Why isn’t Lucanis’ healing as important as Taash’s gender journey??? Or Bellara’s grief?? I like Taash don’t get me wrong (at least when they aren’t acting like a moody edgy teenager. That’s just bad writing) but they feel like the favorite child and everyone else is just there. Even NB Rook gets shafted for Taash’s story. I feel I know Taash and have missed everything with the other characters.
This lack of development hits mostly in the romance. Lucanis’ is nonexistent it seems with the majority of flirts doing nothing. One almost kiss and then the companion quest doesn’t change and boom can be in a relationship with nothing new added. It feels like they got the okay to do single player and went “oh shit now we have to do romance…uh just throw the same formula and they’ll be fine”. Like the companions have better chemistry with each other. Rook is just...nothing (no one can convince me they are supposed to be like Shephard because there's having a predefined character and having a blank doll that talks like it has personality) This is a step down from even fucking Origins and DA2. At least those were unique with their own plot lines and themes. At this point I’d take the cringey sex montage of Origins over this nothing burger. Those had more depth than a classic Disney film.
And who’s bright idea was it to put the kiss/make out scene right after you just found out your mentor is dead and you’ve been played with by a god (and why wasn’t that given more room to breathe??? I would feel fucking violated as fuck! But given that one of the writers once wanted you to have sex with a demon masquerading as Leliana I'm also not fucking surprised the idea of consent got thrown out the window) and watched your friend die???? How is that okay???? And didn’t one of the directors say “this is the most romantic da game to date” or something??? Seriously? You call this more romantic than having a literal Princess Bride moment with Josie? Or Dorian learning to want more that he can have more? Be for fucking real.
The lack of all of this gives me serious doubt about Mass Effect 5. I expect a full reboot like this where they just nuke everything off screen so they don’t have to deal with it and call it something like “necessary to avoid pointless one liners” again. I can think of several decisions I made that could’ve aided the South. You know like the schism between the Grey Wardens. But nope. Apparently the only things that matter are: did you want to fuck Solas (as Dorian gets one line and everyone else gets nothing), did you want fucking kill Solas, and how would you like to fucking do that. They made it where there’s only one answer that’s given the care to feel correct/complete. And even then Solas’ sudden "k I’ll bind myself" feels rushed or just cobbled together cause that ending needed more. I don’t care if it’s supposed to be vague that’s an excuse for shitty writing. I should feel like I got closure and I don’t. I just feel insulted given how little care they gave for the previous stories and how little they cared about this one apparently. I shouldn’t have to rely on fanfics to fix your damn story BioWare. Fanfics should build upon what’s there not do your job for you. They could’ve done something interesting but instead we get an indistinguishable multiplayer clone trying to masquerade as a Dragon Age with piss poor pacing, dialogue and direction.
I’m out. It felt like them killing Varric was a metaphor for them killing the older games. A nice fuck you to the player base
#dragon age 4#bioware#talking to the void#pay no attention to the bird behind the curtain#the veilguard#bioware critical#This was fucking ridiculous#not again bioware#major spoilers#To say I'm disappointed is an understatement#Hire fanfic writers Bioware#They'd at least do better at development than this#I don't think I'm going to finish Nothing after this#Dragon Age has left a bad taste in my mouth#Plus there's no point since nothing in Inquisition matters if you aren't Solavellan#Varric wasn't even worth the bare minimum apparently#I felt more grief than Rook#And Honestly I feel bad for Rook. They got shafted by poor writing#They could've been great and interesting and lovable#But they are just a disaster#mega long thread
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#disaster#chaoscore#der untergang#grote brand#netherlands#burn#burning#fire#destruction#flame#firecore#major flame#night#black and orange#dangerous#fire and smoke
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You should have to pass a test about a book before you’re allowed to adapt it. I’m so sick of lazy, poorly written adaptations when you had a blueprint right there. Don’t @ me I know you have to make changes for the screen. Camelot (1967) is a masterpiece. Merlin of The Crystal Cave (1991) is delightful. The Winter King (2023) is an affront to book fans intelligence.
#it’s so fucking bad yall omg#aside from a handful of characters I like the majority of casting#but my god what the fuck was that story & pacing & costuming & the everything else#Jesus fucking Christ just bought the rights to shit on em huh#nightmare show what a disaster#can’t believe they didn’t consult me before finalizing the script#maybe it’s for the best there isn’t a Prose Tristan adaptation…….#they would do my buddies so dirty#my post
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