#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?

[psqqa]

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

[camalyng]

psqqa:

#where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white?? #i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE #this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw #where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general? #where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle? #the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it? #where is the fic about the week of his disbarment? #the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm? #the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years? #where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic? #where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic? #no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic #where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic? #where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic? #capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes #but that's not what they're actually showing me #they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that #and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained #his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so #and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person #who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions #i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points #the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it #is his sexiest trait as a character by far #but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes #so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it #my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me #my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man #my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him