#or like . . . it's not that i dislike him per se
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right so. can anyone tell me what the ‘bad’ and ‘good’ endings actually entail apart from bad = mean to Solas and good = nice to Solas. cuz if the fate of Thedas truly depends on me being nice to Solas I might actually start biting
#datv spoilers#da spoilers#veilguard spoilers#like what if i dont like him#honestly a game that requires you to emapthise with an antagonist to succeed. is not a bad idea per se#its just like. hey what if i empathise with say the titans more lol#and tbh the game being from such a desperate solasfucker standpoint is what makes me dislike him#‘the goodest bestest ending is my inky and solas living happily ever after<333’ ughhhhhhhh#what if MY good ending was morrigan being her own person. what then
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back on my bullshit. jaycasstalia (all combinations), cassrose × cheshire, deaddove jaydonna, jaytemis × rose, cass × artemis (that one wfa panel), koricass, jaykori dead dove, jay × jessica cruz
hello welcome back i adore the bullshit. i have to admit that i dislike JayKori and tbh i don't like or know Kori well enough to enjoy any ship with her she just. exists outside of my periphery and isn't the sort of character i'd enjoy. so those i fear i am unable to give thoughts there BUT THE OTHERS-
JayCassTalia is !!! so good? i really like Talia and i've been getting more and more into the al Ghuls so i find that fascinating. i think the respect Talia would have for Cass could almost border on a motherly jealousy, wishing *she* had honed her child into such a perfect weapon. i think CassTalia could be such a fun sort of mother/daughter incest ship of Talia promising to take better care of Cass. and then Jason in the mix is so fun bc Talia rlly shaped Jason for who he is today and i do think she loved him. maybe she loved what she saw of Bruce in him or maybe she loved how he existed outside of Bruce. both work so well. Talia being into both of them and them both falling for the attention of an older woman? yes i love it (also i will one up you with this- JayCassTaliaNyssa. fuck with Talia and Nyssa's complex over each other)
CassRoseChesire is so good from the thought of traumatized daddy issues and all of them being raised to be weapons, not ppl. the solidarity in that combined with feeling like being the only ppl who understand what that's like? it's so good. and it also has such fun conflicts in where they all fall on moral issues. very much a "you don't have to be human around me so stop pretending" sort of throuple and man, the potential in that complex in general. i feel like they'd get cannibalism as a metaphor for love shit.
dead dove JayDonna is VERY interesting, oh my god i never would've considered dead doving Donna. i haven't read a *ton* of comics with Donna but something about Jason expecting her to be a safe person on the Titans he can go to during his very brief period on the Titans and it turns out she's not and she takes complete advantage of him is *so* fun. i like if she's maybe projecting a want for Dick onto Jason too, but she sees Jason as a Robin that she can mold into a better partner than Dick is so this is the even better choice. she gets a blank slate she can make whatever she wants and it's so easy to make him obsessed with her if you lean into the "Jason is a Wonder Woman fan" sort of thing, with her telling all sorts of stories about Diana and promising she'll introduce them someday just to keep Jason coming back around to her.
Jaytemis and Rose truly is a ship that is just "Jason Todd deserves to be torn to shreds by strong woman" and ykw, i support that agenda. i do not think he'd be able to walk half the time but i think he'd enjoy it. i personally enjoy 90s Artemis the most and i think that version of Artemis before DC softened her for Jason could be SO fun oh my god. she would not put up with his shit and would drag him around like a leashed dog. and Rose is a great third for them bc she's also absolutely unhinged and fucked up enough to want Jason on a leash. tbh i see this almost very dark in a controlling with, but that's the fun of it for me. <3
i've not read enough of WFA to know what you're referencing BUT i think CassArtemis could be fun. (tho i hate that one Outlaws comic where Artemis oneshots Cass and calls her a child bc wdym Artemis can oneshot Cass but anyway-) typically i like Artemis and Helena as far as shipping her with a Batfam woman, but there's fun in letting a strong woman look down at Cass and just decide to chuck Cass over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. i think she'd enjoy just how strong of a fighter Cass is. freak4freak but it's sapphic and they're arguing most of the time.
Jason/Jessica is SUPER interesting. i don't know if Jason and Jessica have a ton of interactions in canon? i've not read much of Rebirth BUT i will always love sticking Jason with a Lantern. JayKyle is my personal fave but i'd love to see Jason helping Jessica out of her shell and getting her to be more confident after her trauma. they cope with trauma in very different ways so i find the idea of putting them together sort of fun to see where they'd clash and align. would he scare her? yes but that's the fun of it. fear kink core.
also, i offer you some of my Jason and Cass rarepairs bc i think you would Get It anon:
JasonOnyx (i just wish we got more out of their interaction in UTRH and Onyx should hunt Jason down for revenge and they fuck nasty about it idk)
JasonBette (Bette's whole obsession over Dick when he was Robin, but she's obsessed with Jaybin instead and it carries over when he becomes Red Hood and Jason cannot get rid of her)
CassBarda (all i got out of the current BoP run is "mmm. sapphic size kink.")
#necrotic answerings#oh this is so many ships to tag#I do not think I can tag them all#also i'm SO SORRY to kori fans it is NOT personal#idk what it is#some characters just don't click for me?#and if they don't click immediately they never will#and she's one of those so I just. am turned off by content of her#she's not even a character I dislike per se#bc I do have DC characters that cause an inexplicable rage in me#(booster gold. idek why. I can't stand him.)#she's just. not for me and so I respect her by not touching her#besides that tho every character you mentioned was peak#was the Nyssa mention for jaycasstalia biased bc someone in the discord server reccomended me Batman: death and the maidens?#yes. it was. I have no regrets tho that was a good comic.#fun fact I love trying to guess which anons are the same ppl#bc I have no clue how many consistent anons I have rn#but I see a Jason rarepair and i'm like points. it's you. hello you#anyway anons are welcome to sign with emojis if you want#you don't have to tho it's also fun to just keep me guessing#also discarded this post trying to post it. god I cuolda cried.
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The best part about writing emotionally constipated characters actively speak about their emotions with another emotionally constipated character is that the entire conversation smacks of tension and pain and unsaid things and it's delicious.
#the sheepy speaks#im writing cwd (whose title might change)#and its so funny to have like#miles (hates himself) edgeworth talking with maya (hates him) fey during turnabout goodbye#and so she says ''i didnt stay here during the earthqauke for you'' and he says ''i know#edgeworth is so happy someone doesnt expect him to be good or better#hes relieved someone hates him like he hates himself#and maya doesnt hate him per se but she does genuinely dislike him#i dont blame you''#its so much to me to write all this the way i do#this man has the worst fucking self esteem
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I used to have a co-worker that was notorious for immediately disparaging any opinion that was less than outright bigotry as filthy liberal talk and I still take pride in the one time he called me a liberal and I was like excuse me I'm not that conservative
Dude had no idea how to react to the concept that what he considered extreme leftist bs I considered conservative centrist bs
#this was also the same guy who was such an egregious Elon Musk Fanboy that he literally got fired bc he had a violent meltdown over him#(I have another coworker who used to work at the Tesla gigafactory near here and had OSHA violations that literally deafened her in one ear)#(and she's extremely critical about her time there and the kind of people that those workplaces tend to attract)#Dude only lasted a week and a half and ended up getting assault charges filed against him at the end of it#I wasn't there the day it happened but apparently it was REALLY bad#he was widely disliked from day one because he made some very sexist remarks early on and hated that he kept getting talked to by HR#i think he wouldve gotten fired anyways if he didnt have his outburst bc his reaction to being pulled into HR was to try to double down#i dont know how that man ever held a job before if thats how he acted ngl-#(i know i reported him twice in one week for called my manager a bitch)#(like.... you're not wrong about her per se- but you just dont say that shit outloud)#(TWICE. IN ONE AND A HALF WEEKS.)
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haruka :(((
haruka..................
i hate it here nyx i hate it here so much im actually really mad about it punches floor. violently.
#GAHHHHHGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH#I HATE THE MILGRAM EXPERIENCE SOME TIMES#its . GAAAHHHH#truly feeling the full impact of#'getting attached to milgram characters sucks because you will have to watch them undergo a black&white public judgement of their actions#and if they're not forgiven it hits you worse than usual/would they forgive you too ?'#haruka's case is esp bad too.............#rbed a post about it earlier but it has that ableist tint too. sad quiet boy is palatable and ok but let's not get too ahead of ourselves#im guy who goes thru the 'favorite character is disliked' feeling quite often and it still hurts every time orz#'widely disliked' or 'person i like dislikes them' are both so baddd#(i don't think haruka is That disliked per se but people just don't cate about him enough i guess. which is bad too. because it's Him)#if i were to be born again could i be your favorite this time......................#mayoiayasep#preguntas
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I dislike a lot of fanon
But Grusha having anger management issues is definitely my least favourite
#Second is him being trans since i don't really like ftm hc for male characters i get overly attatched to#I like to avoid my irl gender identity issues when consooming not confront them#But lgbt hcs aren't really fanon per se if you ask me#Grusha#Oh third most disliked fanon is anything involving recurring nightmares regarding The Accident lmao God nightmare hcs annoy me some
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how bitter am i that mark is getting the redemption arc and place on the team that len deserved? extremely
#helen watches s9#like please. he's so obviously a cheap len stand-in and it annoys me so much#the thing is that as a character he's actually kinda grown on me and i don't dislike him per se#but i dislike that they have essentially tried to do a leonard snart 2.0 kinda thing with him#not for me
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I know a lot of Tgcf fans greatly dislike the Banyue Arc (and I understand in the sense that it’s early on that all adaptions really mainly include up to that arc in this point in time and it gets repetitive) but I am actually a decent fan of this arc, mainly because of Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin all just wearing obnoxiously obvious disguises.
Xie Lian really humored these three.
Hua Cheng is the least offensive of these three. He’s not really actively trying to hide his identity per se. I imagine that he didn’t want to straight up lie to Xie Lian, which is why he only disguised his appearance and then proceeded to be the weirdest person ever. Like mans lowkey waltzed up to Xie Lian and said “Hey bestie, I’m just a good old normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king or anything like that! Look, I can breathe!“ and then proceeded to info dump a shit ton of information about gods and shit like he’s Wikipedia which a normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king would most positively not know.
However, our other two offenders actually thought they were fooling Xie Lian, whom may I remind you, is legit their childhood friend. They swapped color pallets and called it a day. And not only did they not try to not act like their selfs in the personality sense in their disguises, they also were just so bad at pretending not to be themselves. Like, someone says “General” in the cave where all the travelers were hiding and they both respond like it’s them being addressed. Idiots.
Also, the three of them just bicker half the time. Mu Qing and Feng Xin just kept yelling that this random nepo-baby Xie Lian picked up was so sus and trying to prove it to him while Xie Lian sits there and tells them to go for it while he snickers internally, knowing the identity of every single disguised person in the room.
These three legit had an argument about whether or not this “San Lang” could drink water. That’s just so fucking funny to me.
Honorable mentions in this arc is Feng Xin getting the shit beat out of him by Windmaster because he somehow was unaware that they swapped gendered forms (which btw, how the fuck did he not know this)?! Also, He Xuan and Hua Cheng just seeing each other in disguises because I wish I got their internal monologues for that.
Tldr: Banyue arc isn’t the best arc in the series, but it still stands as a fairly comedic regardless.
#also we meet Banyue too and I love her#we should’ve gotten more of girly#mxtx#tgcf#xie lian#hua cheng#hualian#feng xin#mu qing#shi qingxuan#he xuan#heaven official's blessing
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Do you have not just the exact words, but the exact intonation of one sentence from a show, movie or WHATEVER just STUCK in your head FOR NOR SPECIFIC REASON
… yeah me neither
#short rant#this line - this sentence - it isn‘t eveb remotly important or deep or even memorable#i don‘t remember that line often#but then i rewatch that scene and i know this line comes and my brain just#supplies the exact tonation of that fucking sentence#and i just sit there and watch??#by the way#this is about one (1) line from heartstopper#i love this show dearly#and the scene#it‘s the one where nick tells charlie he told tara about them dating#and nick just asks him almost rethorically whether he‘s heard about tara and darcy being public now#AND THEN CHARLIE ANSWERS#‚yeah she put it on insta‘#THIS#THIS IS THE STUPID LINE#THAT BROUGHT THIS WHOLE ASS RANT UP#and there‘s nothing i per se like or dislike about that line#it‘s really not what‘s central about this scene at all#AND STILL#THE EXACT PRONOUNCIATION#INTONATION#everything#fml#sorry for this#really it‘s nothing about heartstopper or the actor at all#so in the unlikely case that someone read until here and decides to make fun of them#don‘t#i don‘t dislike this line#i just dislike what my brain does with it
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Wants
More ramblings of an insomniac, still not proofread but i wanna throw this out here. We're back on our smut roll as well!
No one really cared what Astarion wanted or didn't want to do. He'd stopped resisting at some point, just letting whomever had higher status overrule him even when it came to his own body. But you, you didn't do that. You never asked him to do something he didn't want. So he asked himself; what did he want? You. He wanted you. Could he have you?
Genre: Smut Pairing: Astarion x (fem)reader Kinks: PiV, little bit of orgasm control, biting, marking, dirty talk Words: 7400+ Need something to listen to? This is what I listened to while writing this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4XkxtmnNB3RI55o414xpdx?si=ef01f7ab913f4a26
Astarion wouldn’t say that you liked him per se, it’s doubtful you even enjoyed his company unlike how you enjoyed the company of say Wyll or Shadowheart. Yet you couldn’t possibly dislike him either, after all; who let’s a vampire drink from them if you didn’t at least tolerate him.
“Is he yours? He’s quite handsome, that can’t be a coincidence, you know how to pick them.” Her eyes scanned him, a smile tugging at her lips as he seemed to evaluate his very existence.
“...You mean Astarion? I didn’t pick him, he’s here ‘cus he wants to be. Besides, if I knew him beforehand it’s doubtful I’d pick him anyways.” You replied, arms crossed over your chest.
“Hah! You’re funny, well he’s clearly under your command anyways. Won’t you let me borrow him? I’ve always wanted to be bitten by a vampire you see…” She drew closer, her eyes still looking him up and down. Nausea grew in his belly, his throat closing up.
Astarion wouldn’t say he liked you either per se, you didn’t make yourself the most personable exactly. You were blunt, which he enjoyed, as long as it wasn’t directed at him. Yet you weren’t afraid to speak your mind when he tried to play with you. Every and all attempts to get under your skin was answered with distinct indifference, not full rejection but without skipping a beat you continued whatever line of thought you had started. The most he could pull from you was the occasional laugh at his antics, mocking his clearly practiced recitals of lines he’d used dozens of times on hundreds of other people. You often replied with your own dry sense of humor. Sometimes though, he could swear that your cheeks flushed ever so slightly, but it was hard to tell since these few times were also those when you promptly turned your face away from him, suddenly a lot more interested in a bird or bush. And if he pushed, you were suddenly convinced you heard Karlach break something or Gale needing help with supper. He considered giving up, treating you with the same distance he kept to the other companions, yet you always seemed to gravitate back to his tent, to the spot next to him or simply to wherever he was. He wouldn’t say he liked you, but he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed your company.
“Well, I’m a spawn technically so you know, not a true vampire.” He managed to keep his voice light and comical, a half-hearted attempt at dissuading her, to keep her hands to herself. “Besides, I think I’d like to keep my teeth to myself this time.”
“Mh… Well no matter, you’re pretty enough to make it an overseeable difference. But I didn’t ask you, spawn.” The word was an insult. “I was talking to your commander here, or is it master? I can make it worth your while.”
The bite in your words and the general lack of give to his pushing and pulling gave him a weird sense of comfort. He could spew whatever lines he’d used before, chewed up and spit back out over and over again and you just… moved past them. You were bored by them, but not by him. He felt comfortable telling you about Cazador, about his scars, both physical and mental. You’d never gone too deep, but you had listened and you hadn’t let it color the way you treated him. There was a certain respect to the way you kept him at a distance, he couldn’t trap you under his thumb even if he tried. Yet you stayed besides him.
“Why in the nine hells are you asking me? I told you, I don’t own him, he can do whatever he wants. Mostly anyways. But he seems to be disinterested in whatever you’re offering so.” You didn’t spare him a glance, instead keeping your eyes on the drow woman. You were cautious too.
“Tsk, well if you’re unwilling to barter, I guess I’ll just have to go directly to the source.” She looked annoyed for a second before putting a face of seduction, temptation. She sensually moved her hair away from her neck, draping it over her opposing shoulder and tilting it towards him. She began to walk closer. Astarion could feel panic rise in him, instinctually taking a step back, unsure of what to do. “Come on, spawn, isn’t this what you were born to do? Feed?”
And when he was desperate, hungry and weak that night in the forest, his first instinct was to feed from you. Not because he hated you, far from it. But because he respected you and because he knew that if you found out; you might not judge. He hadn’t been careful enough when he hovered over you, accidentally waking you from your slumber. He had scrambled, fearing that this was it for him. He had slipped up and now any and all trust he had accumulated, though perhaps unfounded, would be wasted and he’d be banished if not worse. Yet you understood. He doesn’t know why, but it seemed like you did. And that night you let him feed from you, despite the pain it undoubtedly caused. And in the morning, you pretended like nothing had happened, like last night was as peaceful as all the others.
Maybe he did like you, just a little bit. You’d at least earned that much. But he had done nothing to earn that same sentiment.
Yet…
“One step closer to him and I will be the one to spill your blood instead. He said he didn’t want you or whatever it is you’re offering.”
You had taken a single step to place yourself between the woman and Astarion, keeping her from getting any closer to him. It was doubtful that you’d actually do anything against her in the very center of Absolutist territory. But he wasn’t certain, the way you firmly placed your feet on the ground and the way he could see your muscles tense beneath your armor from this far away told him that you just might. There’s the distinct tension of magic in the air, crackling just beneath the surface of the weave but enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand. It lasts only a brief moment before the drow relents.
“Fine, do as you wish. What use do you have for a vampire that won’t even do something as simple and natural as bite a willing victim? Even if he is a spawn.”
“What reasons I have for keeping him around is none of your damn business. Now did you have anything more interesting to say or are we done here?”
There was nothing else you needed from her and as quickly as things had escalated, it had passed. It was still a couple hours before you decided to call it a day and lead them back to the camp to plan your next move and eat dinner. Astarion hadn’t brought up what had happened with Araj the whole time, yet it kept replaying in his head. If he could dream, he would’ve assumed this was the pleasant relief of sleep. But it wasn’t, you had stood up for him. Not only that, you had kept him from doing something he would regret, because he knows that if you hadn’t stepped in or even asked him to do it… He would’ve. Weak willed as he was after all the times he had broken his own boundaries for others.
Night in the Shadowlands was somehow darker than the days, despite the lack of sun no matter the time. And as if the darkness could swallow any sound, silence lingered in the camp. Everyone either occupied with their own issues or idly putting their hands to work managing their gear. Astarion had wandered away from his tent and from the campfire, safe thanks to the pixie’s blessing and comforted in the shadows. It was a sense of familiarity that was bittersweet after todays events.
The air was cold, the breeze rustling the blood red leaves of the few trees that could survive this darkness. The temperature didn’t bother him, he had long ago forgotten how cool the nights got. He could smell the dampness of the earth and of the rotting trees, the smoke of the campfire a vague note beneath it all. He surely smelled of smoke as well, it stuck to his clothes and hair despite how much he tried to cover it. ‘Rugged’ had never been a good look on him, he much preferred the sweet notes of incense and wine. But the worries of everyday issues were forgotten as he let himself fill his lungs with the fresh air.
Crack
The sounds of footsteps brought him back to the moment and he quickly turned around, the thought of a shadow cursed boar or harper still a relevant danger. Instead he was met with a friendly face. A friendly frowning face.
“What are you doing out here? You didn’t even bring a torch or anything, no one knew where you had gone.” You stopped a few meters away from him, half expecting to be able to return to the warmth and glow of the campsite since you had found the lost vampire. A light cantrip had been cast on the crossbow you kept strapped to your back, you always kept it within reach.
“Oh it’s just you, hah I thought I was about to be ambushed for a second. Were you looking for me? Awh you even asked the others where I was, how cute.” He teased, giving you a playful smile before turning his back to you once again. He heard you sigh before your footsteps grew closer.
“You shouldn’t wander off while we’re here.” Your words held no weight, you knew you couldn’t stop him if he was to actually wander away from camp. They were more like an attempt to keep any guilty conscious from getting to you if he did get hurt. But he still liked the thought that you might actually have been worried. “...Are you looking for something to feed on?”
“Around these parts? Gods no, I wouldn’t even touch a dead squirrel with a ten foot pole around here, not after that damned raven. I’ve accepted that I’ll just have to make do until we’re in sunnier parts.” He could feel his stomach writhe at the thought of something to dig his fangs into. He knew you had let him feed from you before but he had never been the one to ask, it’d feel like breaking an unspoken rule.
“Makes sense, those things came out of nowhere. Even the corpses have been cursed…” There's a pause and hesitation to you, an abnormality in your conversations. “Why didn’t you drink from the drow?”
He knew you’d ask, yet his face grimaced at the mere thought of her and her blood.
“Bah, she’s a blood alchemist, who knows what kind of stuff is running through her blood? I’m sure I wouldn’t be allowed to keep anything down if I drank from her.” He quickly recovered from the unintentional show of genuine disgust. “Besides, what’s the fun in a willing victim?” He turned his head to look at your face finally, putting on another playful smile and hoping you’ll take his joke as a response.
You don’t. Instead you cross your arms and raise your eyebrows ever so slightly at him, waiting for the real response. He’s unwilling to give it and instead looks away, gazing down into the valley beneath the cliff you both stood on.
“C’mon, give me a real answer Astarion.” You lightly bounced your shoulder against his, the casual touch a surprise but not an unwelcomed one.
“Ah, you always have to dig your nose into things, don’t you… Fine, I simply didn’t want to. But that’s no reason to turn down whatever aid she might’ve had…”
“It’s as good a reason as any.”
Silence.
You hadn’t judged him. You just… took his choice at face value. Did you really nearly spill blood on the floor of Moonrise towers simply because he didn’t want to bite her?
“That’s it?”
“...What? Is there another reason you didn’t want to? You should’ve just told me from the beginning then, but go on.”
It’s almost funny how seemingly clueless you are. A dry laugh escapes him.
“No, it’s true. I simply didn’t want to. But you’re just so casual about it! Who knows what kind of powers she could’ve given us? But you decided to threaten her instead, it’s highly unlikely she’ll sell us as much as a health potion or even an antidote from now on.” He waves his hands around, frustrated by your seeming lack of care.
“You said no.” You shrugged.
“I-” He pauses, dumbfounded. “I said no… I didn’t want to bite her and you respected that… You even stood up to her for me, even though you don’t like me. I just can’t seem to understand you.”
You suddenly look just as confused as he did a moment ago, turning to fully face him for the first time since you joined him in the dark.
“...Who in the hells said I didn’t like you?”
“Well… Well no one said it, but I mean it’s not like you enjoy my company. It’s obvious everytime we talk. You don’t even give me as much as a smile when I tell you you’re beautiful, and when I try to playfully ask you to bed you just mock me. Yet you always come wandering over to me and so I try again, I mean why else would you want to talk to me? I may not be a mindreader, darling, but you’re sort of sending mixed signals here. I thought we just acted on the basis of respect here.”
Did you want him to try harder? Or stop fully with his advances? He really didn’t know what you wanted.
“I… Well…” In the darkness, with you backlit by your crossbow, he might be mistaken but there seems to be a blush creeping onto your features. “Didn’t you ever think that maybe I just don’t know how to respond?”
Oh.
Oh.
Aren’t you just adorable? Smugness builds in his chest and he opens his mouth, about to speak but you’re quicker.
“Besides, it’s obvious you’re just a flirt and I… I didn’t like being so affected by someone who isn’t serious. It’s embarrassing falling for something that's so fake, so practiced. So I ignored the flirting, I knew it was just lighthearted fun after all. And I still like you outside of the compliments and teasing.” You hold your crossed arms even tighter together, unable to look at him. Instead you watch the slow fog rolling across the barren land. Your face lit by the soft glow of the moon just above Last Light Inn.
Astarion hadn’t even had the thought that you simply hovered around him because you… liked him. It was such a simple answer and yet it would’ve been the last thing he could’ve guessed.
He liked you too.
A lot.
A lot more than he had previously allowed himself to feel. Could he even allow it now? What if he had ruined his chances of something more than… than what already was. The status quo had grown comfortable, predictable.
“I see…”
It’s all he can say. He can see that it wasn’t what you had hoped he’d say even if you weren’t looking at him.
A moment passes in silence.
There’s a look on your face suddenly, it looks almost pained or embarrassed, maybe it was both but just as quickly as it had flashed over your features it was gone. You let out a sigh and let your arms fall to the side, turning away from the outlook, clearly about to leave.
“Well that was… the worst. Anyways, I’m heading back to camp. Take your time, I’ll make sure there's supper left for you when you come back.”
Astarion realizes in a heartbeat that he was allowed to want something more.
You don’t even get one step away from where you stood before a hand grabs your arm with unnatural speed, holding you back from moving any further away. You nearly jump out of your skin by the motion, staring at the rogue. His face and eyes now lit by your crossbow, his eyes are wide as he watches you like prey. A shiver runs up your spine, he’d never looked at you like this before.
“Earlier today, when Araj asked you to let me bite her, you said I could do whatever I wanted.” His eyes don’t leave yours and there's something about their intensity that makes your cheeks heat up.
“Mostly, anyways…” You repeat what you had told Araj.
That seems to have been all the confirmation Astarion needed, suddenly closing the gap between you as he takes a step closer and pulls you into him. You catch yourself on him, the sudden movement taking you by pure surprise. Before you can register what has happened properly, his other hand has grabbed your chin in between his thumb and forefinger with a firm grip and tilted your head up to face his. His unnaturally cool breath hits your lips as he’s leaned in, inches from yours but he stopped there. You’re trapped in his presence, it’s overwhelming in a way you always tried to avoid. But you wouldn’t dare move now, afraid to ruin whatever was happening.
“Then I want to kiss you…” His words are low, soft even.
“...I’d like that…”
In an instant his lips hit yours, soft and velvety. They feel just like you had thought so many times when you’d watched him talk. They’re cool compared to yours, something you hadn’t thought about but it somehow made everything feel so much more alive. Every soft stroke of his lips against yours was vivid as they parted and pushed up against each other, over and over again. The hand that had grabbed your face had smoothly slid to the back of your head, making sure he had you where he wanted you. The other hand had left your arm and was pulling your body against his, keeping you as close as he could physically keep you.
Astarion pushed into your body with a want, a need and a hunger you hadn’t ever seen him exhibit before.
He pulled away from your lips too soon. You didn’t realize how much you needed air before it filled your lungs abruptly in a labored breath.
In the glow of the moon and your makeshift light you could see his face. He was smiling at you, his fangs just barely peeking out from behind his lips. His eyes weren’t as wide anymore, instead crinkled at the edges from his smile but the look of predator remained in them still. He needed you.
“You taste divine, my dear.” You try to scoff, the comment was stupid in relation to simple kisses after all. But you don’t get much of a chance to react to his flirtatious attitude before he’s leaned back in, this time hovering over your neck with his mouth. His nose nudges the underside of your ear as he keeps your head still with the hand still firmly holding the back of your neck.
“But I want to taste your blood, if you’ll let me.”
Goosebumps spread down your arms and your breath catches in your throat. The hidden meaning of what he’s asking of you isn’t lost, not after today’s events. He wants your vulnerability, your submission, your blood. You had always been the one to tell him when he could feed from you, now he’s asking directly to do so. He wants to see your trust in him. That even when he’s a starving animal, he won’t hurt you, won’t take more than he needs.
And he wants to show you how much he wants you.
His teeth graze over the soft skin of your neck, waiting for you to give him the sign. You nod.
His teeth pierce your skin, familiar pain shoots from the bite. You clench your teeth for a second before you relax, letting out a shaky breath. The pain dulls with his hands slowly starting to roam your body, one carefully tangling in your hair as he brings it up. He takes a soft grasp on it, using it to meaningfully guide your head to the side and giving him more space to drink from you. You don’t provide any resistance, all hesitations towards his advances were being washed away with each wave of pleasure and pain.
There’s no rush to him, no tension as he takes his time to enjoy you. Instead of the usual controlled and precise way he usually fed from you, when you both believed it to simply be an act of survival. Now he lets his tongue lap over the wound, the odd feeling of your hot blood and his cool tongue intermingling against your skin. He momentarily leaves the spot to kiss up your neck, intentionally letting your blood drip down and leave a trail as you shudder from the pleasure. His body is still firmly pushed against yours, his free hand carefully sneaking under your shirt to push against your bare skin. He’s pulling you against him and you've realized there's a rhythm to it, a slow and teasing tact to his grinding. It feels good, being so enveloped in him. When he feels ready again, he dips down to lick up the strip of scarlet that had formed, finishing with an open mouth kiss back where he started. The sharp inhale you make is punctuated by a soft moan, giving away your feelings and you realize you’ve been caught enjoying this maybe a little too much.
Embarrassment burns through you as Astarion pulls back to watch your face, a chuckle rumbling in his chest and spilling out between his lips, putting fuel to your fire.
“Now wasn’t that just adorable, I never expected you to make such cute sounds. Why haven’t you let me hear those when I’ve fed from you before?” He’s messing with you, a playfully mean glint to his eyes.
“You know why.” You say defiantly.
“Maybe…” He pretends to think about it, leaning back into you to place soft kisses along your jawline. The hand in your hair keeps you in place as he does. “But I want to hear you say it.”
“It feels good… this time…” You whisper but you know he’s heard you by the way you feel him smile against your skin.
“Is that so? I didn’t know you were such a masochist but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, who else would be so turned on by being bitten by a vampire.” He mocks you, the way he laughs leading to even more embarrassment and frustration coursing through your body. Partially by the way his laugh makes desire shoot right to your core.
He’s mean but it somehow turns you on even more, though you’d never tell him that. This is what you were trying to avoid after all, being so easily wrapped around his finger and put under his control. A part of you is still fighting his control and you try to step on his foot as payback.
Your foot only hits soft dirt as he quickly moves his own. Suddenly the grip in your hair is tightened and he pulls your head back further, forcing you to stare into his eyes directly. You’re scared that you were going to be met with anger or even hurt over your sudden and involuntary rejection. Yet all you’re met with is delight when you look into his eyes, his heavy breathing filling the night air with the smell of blood.
“There it is, I always did enjoy the way you pushed back. I was worried you’d have gone soft on me.” He seemed ecstatic by your actions and you flushed again, he really did like it. “But just to make sure, darling… What do you want?”
For a moment you’re frozen, your head spinning from everything happening and partially from the blood loss. Not to mention the blood that had pooled somewhere further below. Yet worry brewed in the back of your mind and without thinking you blurted something out.
“What do you want, Astarion?”
You needed to know that this was what he wanted, despite him having taken the main lead, you wanted to make sure he had an out and that your own desires wouldn’t shackle him too.
“Oh sweetheart, you’re too considerate. But I strongly believe we want the same thing right now.”
“I want you.” The words spilled out of your mouth before you could think again and Astarion drank them up like wine spilled from the bottle.
“That’s what I thought,” he kisses you again, the taste of iron still fresh on his lips. “I want you too, afterall.”
His kisses distract you as his skillful fingers leave your hair and skin, instead grabbing the buckle of the crossbow holster that was strapped across your chest. He can't seem to keep his mouth quiet while he does it though, not that you should expect Astarion to be able to keep his mouth from running.
“I want you below me, I want to hear you gasp and cry out in pleasure…” He’s breathless, wrangling the strap of leather over your head, mindlessly chucking the crossbow somewhere nearby. The light still reaches you two, if just barely. Darkness claws it’s way closer, you pray it’s enough to keep you hidden away from wandering companions who wonder where you’ve gone. “I want you exposed and naked, darling, I want to dig my teeth into places only you and I will see.”
His fingers dig the rest of your tucked shirt out of your pants, his nails pleasantly scratching against your skin as he grabs bunches of the fabric and pull it up over your head as well. The cold air is suddenly intruding on your warm skin and you gasp. Astarion is quick to place his lips onto the newly exposed skin, placing kisses across your collarbone and to your shoulder.
“I want to feel your warmth against me, I want you to take me as you dig your nails into my back. I want to push you down just to feel you push back.” Your hands find purchase on his shoulders as his own hands grab your behind, using the leverage to once again pull you in close. You can feel the hardness that had grown between his legs. He keeps going, talking in a daze in between the kisses. You don’t know if he’s drunk on your blood or just aroused, maybe it’s a combination of the two. He’s grown warmer to the touch thanks as your blood reinvigorates him. “I want you to feel me, feel every thrust as I ruin you. I want to tease you until you cry, I want to punish you for holding back on me this whole time. I want you to feel what you’ve done to me.”
You don’t get a moment to respond to him, you don’t even know what you could say. He takes your hand in his as he helps you both lower yourselves to the ground, the grass tickling the palm of your hand as you find purchase. He pushes himself over you, his knees firmly placed between your thighs, still holding your hand to push you down until you're laying below him.
“I want you to want me, just as I am.”
There’s a vulnerability to his voice and his eyebrows knit together ever so slightly as he takes a moment to take you in. You look up at him, his white curls a little more messy than when you arrived and his lips a little more flushed. The moon is still high in the sky and though not as bright as usual, it’s enough to shine down on him and he looks… Ethereal.
You take the pause in the flow to heave yourself forwards, pushing back and he lets himself fall back to sit on his knees as you kiss him again, slightly surprised.
“I do, Astarion, gods be damned I do.”
You can’t take it anymore, he’s still fully dressed and you're desperate to see more of him and tired of being the only one exposed. Your hands grab at his shirt, messily working it out of his pants with a furrowed brow. A smile grows on his face and he laughs at your clumsiness before deciding to help you out. It only takes a moment for his own shirt to be discarded in the grass somewhere nearby.
“You’re so forwards, did I really rile you up so much? I thought you didn’t like it when I ran my mou-” You interrupt him with a forceful kiss and he doesn’t hesitate to lean into it. Your hands finally touch his bare chest, letting your nails lightly scratch his skin as you run them further down. You feel him shudder.
“I like hearing you talk and you can run your mouth for hours but…” Your breaths are heavy as your hands reach his thighs, softly grabbing his legs. “I need you to touch me while you do it…” You’re trying to be bold but the desperation seeps through your voice and you look up at him through your eyelashes, unable to fully face him.
“Shit… Aren’t you just perfect? Who am I to deny you what you need…” He gives in to you, pushing you back enough to let him untie the lacing on your pants. It only takes a moment of shuffling until he’s rather expertly slid your pants off of you, leaving you in your undergarments. His hands grab your knees and part them enough for him to settle back inbtween them before they slide up your thighs. You're already working on the lacing at the front of your bra, pulling and tugging on the ribbons hurriedly. It gets even harder when Astarion decides he wants to taste you again, his lips finding your neck and hungrily licking for the taste your blood as left. He’s sucking hard enough that you’re rather certain there will be a bruise in the morning but you don’t care enough to reprimand him now.
“Having some issues there, darling?” He teases as he feels you continue to loosen your bra, his thumb brushing against the sensitive skin on the inside of your thigh.
“No, it’s fine, ah! There, I got it!” You finally get it loose enough to pull over your head but Astarion doesn’t waste any time. As soon as you’ve managed to get it above your chest, his mouth has found your breast and taken a nipple inbetween his lips. Your reaction is instantaneous as you arch your back into him with a loud gasp, your arms freezing above your head with the bra still tangled between them.
His cold tongue swirls around the bud skillfully and you're sure you can almost feel his fangs grazing against the sensitive skin. You're unable to keep quiet and even when you purse your lips together, the sounds betray you. But Astarion prides himself on his multitasking, one hand finally reaching below the edge of your panties. You’re already drenched thanks to his previous actions.
“My-my, you’re soaked. How often have you imagined this? Everytime you’ve let me feed from you? Everytime we’ve been alone together? Or just when I’ve put the thought in your head, hm?” His fingers slide between your wet lips, slowly spreading them as a finger found and began to circle your clit, not quite touching it.
“It’s not like tha- ah!” He doesn’t let you finish, instead taking the moment you opened your mouth to slide two fingers into you, curling them ever so slightly.
“What did you say?” He mocked confusion, continuing to slowly thrust his fingers into you.
“I… I haven’t…” You manage to get out between moans and heavy breaths, your brain going into overdrive trying to focus on what you’re saying. Astarion clicks his tongue and suddenly his free hand has pinched your nipple inbetween two fingers and his thrusting has gotten quicker.
“Lying is a sin, didn’t you know that my dear? Are you afraid of hurting me? Here I was, hoping you’d think of me daily. The thought of you touching yourself just because of my bite would simply delight me.” He rolls your nipple inbetween his fingers and you can’t think anymore, all you can do is roll your hips against his hand and writhe underneath him. “Come on, confess to me, beautiful.”
“I…” You struggle to formulate any sentence but his attention doesn’t falter, instead he looks like a cat whose playing with a mouse. He shifts his body so your leg hooks over his thigh, pushing further up as he keeps pumping his finger into you. The new angle lets him hit that spot you can never quite reach yourself. The closer you get to formulating words, the quicker he goes until the lewd sound of his hand hitting your soaked pussy is all that can be heard. You’re getting so close. “Fuck- I have, I-I’m sorry-”
Suddenly he laughs, loudly and with a sharp edge of ridicule. His hand slows to a near stop, simply pushing and curling his finger as he grinds the palm of his hand into your clit, keeping you close to that edge of cumming. You’re dazed and confused when you look at him, why is he laughing?
“Oh you are simply a riot, you sweet thing.” He smiles too kindly as he pulls his fingers from you, leaving you clenching around nothing. He leans back as he sucks your juices from his fingers and push yourself up on your hands.
“Did I say something wrong?” You’re nearly panicked, worried you messed up and told him too much.
“No, no, not at all. The opposite actually.” He gives you a grin that clearly shows off his fangs.
“T-then why..?”
“You were close to cumming on my fingers, right?”
You nod, dumbfounded.
“I don’t want you to.”
“Huh? W-what, why?” Your brain is still hazy and you can’t think straight, his confusing answer didn’t make it easier for you either.
“Simply didn’t want you to.” You consider that maybe you did this to yourself, teaching him the power of simply refusing. You wanted him to have agency, but in this very moment you also wanted to cum. You wanted him to want you to cum. You can only guess that you looked especially conflicted because you were pulled from your thoughts by Astarions laugh again. When you look over to him, he’s untying the lace of his own pants. “Okay, no, I didn’t want you to cum on my hand because I want you to cum on my dick, simple as that actually.”
“Oh you’re such an asshole…” You mutter under your breath but his grin tells you he heard you as he pushes his pants and underwear down his legs. You take the moment to pull your own panties off.
“Ah, did you want to cum at all tonight, pet?” He threatens playfully as he finds his place between your legs but whatever reply you had died in your throat as your eyes land on his cock. You had imagined it before yet embarrassment had kept you from thinking of any details, yet there it was. Hovering over you, Astarion used one hand to hold himself up, the other softly tracing up your thigh as he took in your reaction and in turn observed your beauty. You laid beneath him, bare and vulnerable. Trusting and turned on. Just like he had wanted you. “Hm? Cat’s got your tongue? Come on now…”
He leaned in, kissing your lips once before once again lavishing the skin of your neck in open mouth kisses and playful nips that had you jolting under him. His cock just barely rested on your pussy lips as he slowly and softly moved back and forth.
“Fuck… Ah…” You sigh in pleasure but it’s not enough to satisfy Astarions ever growing need to embarrass you.
“Words, darling, use them. What do you want?” he whispered against your skin, pressing his cock further into the softness of your cunt with the base of his thumb, slowly fucking the space between you and his hand. Your slick coats him and he can’t help but sigh in relief. “Tell me, or I’ll just use you like this until I cum and leave you as you are.” It’s a threat without any truth, but it’s enough to push you to speak up.
“Maybe you should just… Shut up and fuck me, Astarion.” Your hand grips his hair, pulling it enough to guide his head back up to meet your eyes. The spark of your rebellion to his teasing thrills him to no end. “I want you to fuck me, is what I’m saying.”
Lips and teeth and tongue suddenly clash as he presses his mouth to yours. It’s messy and rough, you bite his lip and he moans. Your arms wrap around his neck. He finally guides himself to your opening and pushes the tip in. You both shiver, momentarily pulling away to whimper. And then all at once, Astarion pushes the rest of himself into your heat and you feel divine. You're forced to pull away and the feeling makes you drop your head back as you take a sudden, sharp inhale. Pleasure crashes over you and just as you feel like you can recover, Astarion is already ahead of you and starts to thrust. Whatever recovery you thought you could get is quickly washed away as moans and whimpers are all the things you can utter in that moment. His desire and desperation can be felt in the pace he quickly falls into, his mouth finding your breast once again but this time his earlier control seems to be gone. He bites into the soft flesh, his fangs sinking into your skin and you gasp. The pain and pleasure is overwhelming, the signals getting mixed up and all you know is that he feels good.
You lost count after the first three bite marks Astarion leaves on your body, you weren’t even sure if all of them broke skin or would leave any marks but surely some were. The thought crossed you, of meeting your companions when morning light comes and the view of the marks up and down your neck. And you, who had worked so hard to keep your attraction to Astarion pushed so far down, suddenly it’d be obvious you’d become his plaything. And yet the thought made you clench around Astarions cock, ecstasy taking over whatever shame you had just felt.
Your peak was quickly building back up, and you repositioned your arms to grab around his shoulders and up his back. Letting your nails dig into his marble skin just like he had wanted.
“Hah, to believe you’d take me so well… Especially after all that grandstanding about- hah, fuck… not falling for the sweet things I say.” The smugness in his voice was annoying yet you felt your core tighten even harder at them. You dug your nails even harder into his back in response and you felt him stutter in his pace, a pleasured whimper slipping out from under his breath. “Shit, yeah just like that, sweet girl.”
Of course he’d like it. You hide your face in his neck, unable to do anything else. You’re getting so close again.
A hand pushes inbetween you two as Astarion slips his thumb where you two are connected. He quickly finds your clit and presses down.
“Come on, I want you to cum on my cock… I want to push you over the edge, watch you cry out in pleasure…” You’re both dazed as he starts to rub your clit. Your back curves and you gasp, letting go of Astarion as you push your hands into the grass over your head, gripping it. “That’s it, cum for me, beautiful.”
The last thing you register is his smile and his fangs glinting in the moonlight as you finally tip over the edge. You're flooded with white, hot pleasure as you screw your eyes close and arch your back off of the ground. Astarion doesn’t stop, his thumb relentless as he rubs you through your orgasm. He’s pounding into you, fast and rough but as you keep clenching around him he can feel how he’s losing himself. You’re still riding your high when his hands hit the ground on either side of your head and you can barely register his face as it hovers above you. He’s breathtaking, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows scrunched together. You see his white eyelashes as he closes his eyes, fully focusing on how good you feel around him. His pace becomes an uneven mess fueled by a frenzy and his feral need for you. Each hit of his cock against your inside sends another intense wave of pleasure bordering on pain and you take it, whimpering.
And as he pushes into you as far as he can the scales finally tip and he cums, flooding your insides with his cum. You can feel the pulsing inside you as he collapses over you, you both breathing heavy and slowly coming back down from your highs.
It takes a minute before you're both in any condition to move, using the little energy you had gathered to roll over to your sides, facing one another. There's a comfortable silence as you let whatever happened to tonight soak in. Astarion is carefully watching your face, looking at the myriad of marks he’d left on your neck without even thinking. He never left marks usually, the proof of the nights spent with others made him nauseous. But his brain had been telling him that he should… that he needed to. He wanted you, after all. Reaching out with his hand, he carefully traced one of the bite marks. Your eyes suddenly widened.
“By the gods- What in the hells am I going to tell Shadowheart…” You groaned and hid your face in your hands. Astarion raised an eyebrow.
“...Was there something between you two I had just missed? Cus in that case I might not be able to come back to camp for a while.” He joked.
“No, no not that. I had just… mentioned to her that I wasn’t falling for your stupid flirting and how it was obvious you liked to fuck around and I just… Didn’t want that to be me. I’m pretty sure I called you annoying as well.”
Astarion once again laughed at you, the fact that you would both be facing a very judgemental Shadowheart was very amusing to him. He’d rub it in her face if he could, but the hickeys and bitemarks on your neck was probably enough.
“But now that is me… Ugh.”
“... You know I didn’t bed you just because I could, right?” Astarion spoke up, awkward in his approach.
“Well yeah the whole ‘I want you’ thing was pretty consistent. But what do you want with me?” And there was that straightforwardness he always found a little intimidating.
“I… I don’t know, but I want you. That’s all I know.” He studied your face before turning to lay on his back and look into the starless night. “Do I have to choose what that means now?”
“...No. Just… Tell me when you know I guess.” You shrug and turn to look at the sky as well.
“Can I want you to come closer?” Astarion spoke into the night, his voice barely heard over the breeze in the trees.
You don’t answer, just shuffle closer to him, putting your head on his shoulder. He smiles, it felt nice having someone close even after you were… done.
“Though we shouldn’t stay here too long, I’m pretty sure I have grass up my ass crack and it’s colder than the hells out here. Sorry but you don’t exactly help either.”
“Oh aren’t you just charming, didn’t you ever learn some manners?” You both laugh and the shadowlands feel a little less… bleak, at least for tonight.
#astarion x y/n#astarion x you#astarion x reader#astarion#baldurs gate astarion#astarion acunin#smut#bg3 smut#bg3 fanfiction#astarion smut#astarion x female tav#astarion x tav#astarion x female reader#bg3#baldurs gate 3
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The Stages of Grief
Lorenzo Berkshire x Reader
Prompt 5 of @thatdammchickennugget ‘s Hogmarch challenge🫶🏽
Summary: They say that when you experience grief, you go through five stages. And after being partnered with Lorenzo Berkshire for your latest potions assignment, rest be assured, you were experiencing all five.
word count: 6.2k
©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
Denial
“Oh you’re kidding,” you groan as you finally spot your name on the list of assigned pairings for your next potions assignment.
You loved potions; in fact it was one of your favorite classes at Hogwarts, despite its demanding course work. You ironically found its rigid, methodical nature to be quite relaxing as moving step by step through the different recipes seemed to practically be second nature. It was a rhythmic dance that you followed religiously, finding thrill in the ever changing contents of your cauldron.
What you did not love however, or who you did not love to be more precise, was Lorenzo Berkshire. Flirtatious, carefree, and devilishly handsome, you were fairly certain that that boy could chat up a corpse. Or he could if he or his friends ever bothered showing up to class. It’s not that you disliked the boy per se, but to allow him onto your sacred ground? Into your sanctuary? You’d rather not.
Yet, there his name was, scrawled neatly next to yours on the board. It was like the universe had it out for you. Or your professor more likely.
“Tell me I read it wrong,” you complain turning to Daphne who was sat beside you.
The two of you had made an unlikely pairing in second year herbology and been inseparable ever since.
The girl just rolls her eyes at you.
“Oh come on, he’s really not as bad as you make him out be,” she sighs, scribbling notes from the board onto her parchment.
“Maybe not to you, but you’ve known him your whole life,” you grumble.
Personally, you’d always found the boy to be a bit of a prick. He was a pretty boy and he knew it, giving him a rather inflated ego you thought.
“Yeah, so don’t you think I might know him a bit better and perhaps be a better judge of character?” She asks.
“Maybe the professor will let me work alone.”
“Oh honestly, y/n. Look, at least he’s in class today. You’ll be fine, promise. And if he annoys you, even a little, I’ll owl his mother,” Daphne replies, not even bothering to look up from her notes. She was used to your dramatics by now.
“Alright, alright, everyone settle down,” your professor calls out, moving to stand at the front of the room before you can complain any further. “This next assignment will take course over the span of the next month or so, as you will be expected to collect some of your ingredients outside of class. So. Who can tell me a little bit about what this next potion that we’re brewing is?”
Your hand shoots into the air as soon as the question leaves your professor’s lips.
“Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in existence. It doesn’t really create love though, but rather infatuation which makes it one of the most dangerous potions in the world,” you recite.
“Yes, yes! Very good, y/n! Five points!”
“Really if it’s so dangerous, I don’t see why they’re teaching a bunch of sixth years how to brew it,” Daphne mumbles to you under her breath.
You let out a snicker. She had a point.
You turn back to the front of the classroom, tuning back into the lesson as your professor begins scratching away on the chalkboard once more.
“The ingredients that you’ll need to gather are as follows. Two ashwinder eggs, rose thorns, peppermint, powdered moonstone, pearl dust, and rose petals. You’ll have the next two weeks to gather your ingredients with your partners, so I suggest you begin,” your professor announces.
You feel your shoulders wilt at the thought of purposely seeking out Lorenzo, but you can already feel his eyes on you from across the room.
“Do you think if I ignore him long enough he’ll get the idea and just go away?” You whisper to your friend.
Daphne just rolls her eyes at you once more, shaking her head.
“Go,” she sighs, giving you a light shove in his direction before moving to join Theodore Nott at a different station.
With one last sigh of despair, you make your way over to the station where Enzo sits waiting for you, silently mourning your potions grade. And your mental and emotional stability.
“Mornin’ love,” he greets giving you a bright lopsided grin as you approach.
“Hi,” you respond dryly with a tight lipped smile.
“So, what’s our game plan going to be, darlin? I reckon we’ll want to get the hardest ingredients to come by first yeah?” He pushes on, ignoring your clear disinterest.
You nod your head in response.
“The peppermint, rose petals and thorns will be easy. We can get all of those in the greenhouse. The pearl dust- I assume we’ll need fresh pearls, we can probably get from the Black Lake.”
“Great. I think I have a moonstone in my ingredient collection. We can crush it down for the powdered moonstone,” Enzo offers.
You raise your brows at this. Moonstone wasn’t necessarily rare by any means, but you weren’t really expecting Enzo to offer up ingredients from his personal collection.
“That would work. We can also find them in the dark forest,” you reply.
“Nah, save us the hassle. Pretty girl like you doesn’t have any business in that musty old forest anyway,” he responds with a charming grin.
Ignoring his comment, you continue on to the last item on the list.
“I’m really not sure where we’re going to find those eggs. I don’t think we can find ashwinders on the school grounds, and they’re quite risky to breed.”
Enzo stares at you blankly.
“Remind me what an ashwinder is again love?” He says sheepishly.
“Magic serpent. Born from the embers of magic flames that are left to burn. You’re a Slytherin, shouldn’t you know all about snakes and such?”
“Yeah, let me recite to you the alphabetical list of all known magical serpent species that us Slytherins actually use as the password to our common room.”
You purse your lips at the boy’s obvious sarcasm.
“Fair enough. Still don’t know how we’ll get the eggs though.”
“I can see if we have any in our stores at the manor. Probably our best bet if we don’t want to risk burning down the school.” Enzo replies.
“Are you sure? We’re already using your moonstone,” you say, beginning to feel a bit bad about raiding the boy for supplies.
“It’s the least I can do really. I’m useless at potions, so least I can do is provide you with the ingredients that we need,” he says honestly with a light laugh.
“Well alright. Shall we meet up on Friday then to collect the pearls?” You ask, scribbling down your plans in your notebook.
“Sounds good, six o’clock? By the dock?”
You nod in agreement.
“Well alright then. See you then, love.” And with a grin and a cheeky wink thrown your way, Enzo is off.
At least he was pulling his weight in gathering ingredients you supposed.
Anger
“Y/n! Are you headed down to the docs?” Daphne asks slightly out of breath as she runs up to you from across the court yard.
“Yeah. Enzo tell you?”
Daphne nods her head in response as you two begin to make the short trek down to the lake.
“Hope you don’t mind if Theo and I join you?”
“Course not. Probably better that I’m not alone with Enzo by the lake anyway. Wouldn’t want him to try and drown me.” You say lightly, only slightly joking.
“Oh piss off. He’s a nice bloke once you get to know him.” Daphne laughs.
As the two of you arrive at the edge of the lake, you can already see Enzo, Theodore, and Mattheo splashing about in the water. Draco and Pansy are watching disdainfully from the shore.
You hadn’t realized this was going to be a whole party.
“Daph, please get these boys under control!” Pansy shouts when she sees the two of you approaching.
“I’m not their mum, they won’t listen to me,” Daphne replies dryly.
“Sure they will. Or at least Theo will, and the other two dimwits will follow whatever he does.” Pansy replies.
“Theodore!” Daphne shouts, turning to the three boys who were waist deep in the water by this point.
“Bella?” He calls back, visibly perking up at the sight of your friend.
You watch with amusement as Daphne points a finger at the boy and then again at the ground next to her. Theo slowly sulks over to the four of you, Mattheo and Enzo following in his wake.
“Really Theodore? You’re sopping wet,” Daphne sighs, only to be met with a sheepish grin.
“Hey love,” Enzo greets, prancing over to stand beside you.
It takes everything in you to focus anywhere but Enzo’s soaking wet shirt as it clung to his chest and abdomen like a second, very see-through skin. Bloody hell.
“Hi Enzo,” you say through gritted teeth.
“Are you sure we’ll even find pearls here? I thought pearls were from the ocean, and I don’t want to risk getting wet for nothing,” Draco says, eyeing the lake warily.
“Hogwarts a History says that fresh water pearls are common in the Black Lake,” you reply.
“What’s the difference?”
“Saltwater pearls are generally rarer, more expensive.” Pansy replies easily.
“Fresh water mussels can produce multiple pearls at a time, but oysters generally only produce a single pearl in their entire lifetime,” you explain.
“So how exactly are we going to collect these mussels?” Theo asks.
“Accio.” Daphne responds, as if it should’ve been obvious. Which it was.
Your now rather large group makes it way onto the dock, squinting into the murky water for any trace of mussels in the sand below.
Daphne finds the first one, and after that, they slowly start pouring in. Eventually, there’s a sort of system in place with you, Daphne, Pansy, and Draco scanning the dark waves for the elusive mussels, while Theo, Mattheo, and Enzo crack them open to retrieve the pearls.
It’s all going swimmingly until the boys begin to get rowdy once more, with Mattheo sending a small wave of water at Enzo when his back is turned. Daphne gives the boys several warning glares as the waves gradually grow larger, only for them to start up again the moment your backs are turned.
Eventually it turns into an all out water war between the three of them once more, and you scowl as you feel a splash of water hit your leg.
Could they not cause a ruckus for one afternoon? You thought bitterly as another mussel flew into your hand. You go to place it in the pile with the others when you feel a weight hit you like a ton of bricks. Then cold. Everything is cold as you feel yourself hit the water.
“What the fuck!” You exclaim once your head breaks the surface and you frantically wipe water from your eyes.
You look over to see Lorenzo in the water near you, a grin plastered across his face. His smile quickly fades however when he sees the pure murderous intent in your eyes.
“What is wrong with you?” You shout, swimming over to him, and shoving him under the waves.
“Y/n! You can’t drown him!” Daphne yells from the dock.
“Watch me!”
“It was an accident, swear!” Enzo gasps when his head re-emerges once more.
With one last scream of rage, you make your way to land as Daphne runs to catch up with you.
“Seriously Daphne? What is wrong with him?” You rage as you storm up the hill back to the castle.
“I really don’t think he meant for you to get shoved into the lake. The boys can get pretty tunnel visioned,” Daphne offers as she follows behind.
“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one who went for a swim,” you mutter between chattering teeth, the cold really beginning to sink in.
“Oh I’m not defending him. Not completely I mean. He was totally acting like a right git. The other boys too. I don’t blame you for being upset, I would be too. I’m just saying, maybe don’t be too hard on him? It was an accident after all, and he really did look sorry.”
When you only shrug in response, Daphne sighs.
“Look. Give him one last chance, and if you still think he’s the worst person on earth, at least exploit the fact that he really does feel bad, and milk it for all he’s worth. Okay?”
You let out a smile at this.
“Spoken like a true Slytherin, Daph.”
Bargaining
The following Monday when you take your seat next to Lorenzo in potions, he immediately turns his head, almost like he’s surprised you hadn’t demanded to be reassigned partners.
“I’m so sorry, y/n. I really didn’t mean for you to end up in the lake, Theo just shoved me and I grabbed on the closest thing which happened to be you. I really am sorry,” he rambles, fiddling with the quill in his hand nervously.
“It’s okay. I know it was an accident, so let’s just move on, alright?” You say with a sigh.
Maybe if the both of you just moved on, this nightmare of a pairing would be over sooner.
“Really?” Lorenzo asks, his bright personality snapping back into place.
“Sure Enzo.”
“Excellent. Because I was able to get us these,” he says proudly, carefully pulling two little eggs and a medium sized moonstone out of his bag. “Oh, and the pearls.” He adds, placing the eggs, stone, and glass container filled with pearls on the table in front of you.
You eye the ingredients carefully before determining that they were in fact all up to standard.
“Perfect. I’ll begin crushing up the pearls, if you take care of the moonstone?” You say, already pouring the shiny orbs into your mortar and pestle.
The two of you work surprisingly well together for the rest of the class period, almost as if you’d been working together for years. It takes you by surprise how easy the brown haired boy is to work with. You hadn’t been expecting much, knowing that potions wasn’t Enzo’s strong suit. But he made up for it by making sure you never wanted for anything. Needed a vial for your pearl dust? It was in your hands before you even had to ask. A fire needed to be lit beneath the ashwinder eggs to keep them from spoiling? Enzo’s wand was pointed in their direction before you had the chance to open your mouth.
As class winds down and you go to make your exit, you feel a hand on your wrist.
“Y/n?” Enzo says, stopping you. You turn to look at the boy.
“Look uh, I know that you’re not my biggest fan, or at least that’s what I gathered from Daph,” he begins to ramble, scratching the back of his neck, “but, could we maybe like, just start over?”
You’re a bit skeptical at first, but seeing his nervous smile melts something in you. Being friendly couldn’t hurt, you reasoned. And it would certainly make working with the boy easier.
“Alright, Enzo, we can start over.”
“Wicked.” He says with a grin. “Don’t suppose you’d like to meet in the greenhouse later then to gather the rest of our ingredients? Promise I won’t drag Theo and Matt along this time.”
“Sounds lovely.”
The both of you agree to meet right after classes are released that day, and as you make your way down the cobblestone path to the greenhouse, you can’t seem to push the memories of wet hair and an infectious smile from your thoughts.
“Hi love!” Enzo calls out as soon as you push open the doors of the greenhouse. The boy is elbows deep in soil, pulling at the roots of a suspiciously pink colored plant.
“How’d you get here so fast?” you ask, glancing at the clock to see that classes had ended not even ten minutes ago.
“Herbology is my last class of the day,” he explains, brushing some of the dirt off his gloves.
“Ah. So you wanted to meet right after classes ended so you wouldn’t have to make the trek back out here?” You ask, fingertips brushing the soft petals of one of the many flowering plants growing within the greenhouse.
“Well, and I wanted to see you again sooner,” he replies with a shrug and a cheeky grin.
You roll you eyes as you feel your cheeks heat up, turning quickly and hoping he hadn’t seen.
“So where are the rose bushes?” You ask, looking around at the distinct lack of roses within the building.
Enzo gives a nervous chuckle. “About that. Apparently Professor Sprout didn’t think that the common rose was, ah, dangerous enough, for her plant collection,” Enzo says, gesturing towards the various plants, “so, uh, there are none. But! We can grow them pretty easily. It might take a week or two to grow a full bush to peak maturity, but it should be fine.”
You let out a sigh. Of course Hogwarts wouldn’t grow something as simple and common as a rose.
“Alright, well. Let’s begin I suppose.”
Enzo immediately perks up as he goes to fetch a large pot and a bag of soil and you begin to rifle through the cabinets to find rose seeds. After several minutes with no success, you feel a warm presence behind you as Enzo leans over your shoulder and plucks a packet off the top shelf.
“You certainly know your way around,” you murmur, looking up to find the boy’s face much closer than anticipated. You feel heat rise to your cheeks once more and you duck under is elbow, making your escape.
“Herbology is my best subject,” Enzo says, trailing behind you.
“Ah, so you’re the Slytherin version of Neville Longbottom then eh?” You say with a grin as you watch him fill the pot with soil.
Enzo grimaces, making a face.
“No, I’m much better looking,” he says with a smirk.
Bloody self-aware bastard.
It only takes a few minutes for Enzo to bury the seeds in the soil and place several incantations over the dirt before he looks up at you with a triumphant grin.
“All good to go,” he says happily. “Though we should probably check back in daily to refresh the enchantments and such.”
You nod your head at the boy.
Over the course of the next few days, Enzo uses your time spent together to pick your brain for any morsel of information he could get out of you. He really was determined to be your friend apparently.
“What’s your favorite plant?” He asks you on the third day of your little meetings.
You tilt your head a bit in consideration.
“No, no, wait, I bet I can guess. Is it peonies? Your perfume is peony scented right?” He asks.
“Yeah, it is. Peony and vanilla,” you say, eyeing the boy suspiciously.
“Knew it,” he says, looking rather self satisfied.
“And yours?” You ask, leaning against the table to look up at him.
“Hmm?”
“What’s your favorite flower? Or plant that is.”
Enzo pauses for a moment, eyes flickering around the greenhouse for a moment before landing on you.
“I like roses.”
“Really?” You say, scrunching your nose a bit.
“I’m a romantic, what can I say?”
“Gross. That’s so cliche.” You tease, a small smile gracing your face.
As the days go on, your time spent in the greenhouse becomes longer and longer as you and Lorenzo banter about the ridiculous questions he’d come up with. Did owls have knees? Which house would win in hand to hand combat? Were Theodore and Daphne secretly hooking up in the fifth floor prefect’s bathroom? (The answer was yes.)
You were shocked to find that, while still a bit of a prat, Enzo really was rather smart and witty. As the days went on, it became easier and easier to open up to the boy until the two of you were talking like old friends.
It happened slowly. You really didn’t even notice at first. But by the second week, you found yourself looking forward to your daily meetings, and found yourself thinking of the handsome brunette when he wasn’t around, and you caught yourself staring at the boy a bit too long after he’d already looked away.
Over the years of being friends with Daph, you’d often been forced into the proximity of the boy. Always noting the way he’d easily move from one witch to the next, his charm never seeming to fail him. You had been so determined to make sure that you would never be one of those witches. Just another tally on Lorenzo’s ever growing list of conquests.
But it had happened. The unimaginable. The impossible. You were falling for Lorenzo Berkshire. No, this simply wouldn’t do you thought to yourself as you made the familiar trek to the greenhouse.
Your mind raced as you thought of ways to stop this madness. Maybe if you went back to pushing the boy away. Or if you just ignored him. Yes. If you just shut him out, these feelings would go away.
Sarcasm
The next several days for Lorenzo were miserable. And that was putting it nicely.
“She hates me!” Enzo wailed dramatically, hanging upside down off the edge of his bed.
It had been three days since your terrifying revelation in the green house, and Enzo was very convinced that he was going insane.
He could still remember clearly the day that Daphne had introduced him to her new friend after one fateful day in herbology. You had been so wicked smart, and kind, and funny, and your smile had melted his heart. He was pretty sure he’d been in love with you ever since. But he was lucky if you even acknowledged his presence most days.
“Can you blame her? Didn’t you send a flock of peacocks after her when we were all visiting Draco’s last year?” Mattheo asks, squinting at his friend.
“I thought it’d be romantic! How was I supposed to know they weren’t friendly?”
“There’s also that time in third year, you knocked her off her broom playing quidditch.” Draco adds, scowling at the memory of Enzo harassing the birds on his family’s property.
“I caught her after!” Enzo protests.
“She still sprained her wrist.”
“Oh yea. And then you tried to give her a kiss as an apology, but ended up with a nice bruise on your jaw instead,” Mattheo laughs.
Lorenzo wasn't going to lie, that was a particular sore spot for him.
“And let’s of course not forget the most recent offense. Trying to drown her in the lake. Thank Salazar I wasn’t there for that scene.” Blaise mutters.
Enzo winces.
After the incident at the lake, Enzo was sure he was done for. The look of pure rage in your eyes had felt as though you had stomped on his heart, and then cruciod it for good measure. But then you had accepted his apology and even agreed to start things over. Enzo had felt the first real burst of hope after four pitiful years of pining.
Sure he’d made some missteps over the years. As his friends so graciously enjoyed reminding him, but he meant well!
The two of you had talked. Laughed. He’d even allowed his hand to brush up against yours a time or two, delighted when you didn’t flinch away.
And then, as if the switch had flipped, it was back how it had been before. Enzo felt like he had whiplash with the way you had turned right back around to treating him like a total stranger.
Theo eyed his roommate with concern.
“Bloody hell, he’s worse than you pining over Daphne,” Mattheo mutters, jabbing an elbow into Theo’s rib cage, earning him a sharp glare.
“I don’t understand! Things were going so well! She was actually talking to me and everything, and now it’s like I’m right back at square one,” Enzo sighs, ignoring his bickering roommates.
“I don’t know what you’re expecting from us mate. You’re supposed to be the romantic one of the group. Though with your track record, I’m not sure why we’ve been taking your advice all these years. You’re a wreck.” Blaise says, matter of factly.
“You tried talking to Daph bout it?” Theo asks, not quite sure how to help his slightly delirious friend.
“Ask me about what?” Daphne asks, seemingly materializing in the doorway of the boys’ shared dormitory.
She makes her way into the room, face morphing into one of both concern and disgust as she takes in Enzo's distraught state.
Theo eyes his friend, as if to say “good luck mate.”
Dragging himself into an upright position, Enzo considers the girl in front of him. How had he not thought of it before? Y/n’s best friend had been at his disposal this entire time, and he’d never thought to simply ask her.
Lorenzo turns to look at Daphne.
“Daph?”
“Yes Enz?”
“Does y/n fancy anyone?” He asks, trying to sound as casual and nonchalant as possible.
Daphne raises a brow.
“If you’re trying to subtly ask if I happened to know of her feelings towards you, you’re doing a lousy job."
Enzo pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and honestly looking quite pathetic.
"For Salazar's sake, what happened?" Daphne huffs, making herself comfortable on Theo's bed, much to his delight.
“Enzo is down bad. Obviously.” Mattheo states.
Daphne shoots the boy a glare, rolling her eyes at the curly haired boy.
"We've been working in the green house together, and I thought things were going so well. She was talking to me, and laughing and everything.” Enzo says, falling back into his bed dramatically.
“Well then what’s the problem? You like her I thought.” Daphne replies with an annoyed huff.
“That’s just it isn’t it? It wasn’t a problem. But then suddenly, a few days ago, she went completely cold again. Like the last couple weeks never happened." he laments.
Daphne opens her mouth. Then closes it, shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath. For the love of- she loved you. Truly she did. But you were going to be the end of her.
“I’ll take care of this.” She announces, promptly rising from the bed just as Theo was about to sneak an arm around her.
He glowers at Enzo who gives him an apologetic grin.
Daphne had been your best friend for years at this point, and most of the time, she was convinced that she knew you better than you knew yourself. She wasn't blind. Or dumb for that matter. She knew that there were some strong feelings between you and Enzo, though she had never really bothered to figure out if they were positive or negative. Clearly she should've and all of this could have been avoided she thought wistfully to herself. At least this explained the strange tension between the two of you as of late.
“Y/n.” Daphne huffs, sitting next to you on a bench in the court yard.
“Daph,” you greet, looking up from your book.
“So, when were you going to tell me that you fancy Lorenzo?” She asks, staring you dead in the eye.
You feel your mouth gape like a fish out of water.
“Right Daph. Like I’d ever fancy that peacock.” You reply, doing your best to appear disdainful.
“Don’t you get an attitude with me.” Daphne responds. She’d always been able to see right through you. “Enzo told me everything. The chatting. The giggling. The immediate turn around as if nothing had happened. Textbook case of realizing you like someone while being emotionally constipated!” Daphne announces.
“Shhh!” You hush your friend, glancing around to make sure no one had noticed the scene. “You know that being mean and sarcastic is my only defense mechanism!” You hiss.
“Oh honestly y/n. We both know you won't be able to use that excuse forever.” Daphne says with a dramatic eye roll. “Besides, he likes you too. Why do you think he’s always preening when you’re around. He’s trying to impress you, you dolt.”
“Fantastic. He’s only a prat when I’m around. How romantic,” you mutter.
“Well you certainly didn’t think he was being a prat when you were spending all that time in the green house together. Don’t think I didn’t notice you two disappearing for several hours. No one is spending that much time every day looking at flowers.”
“We were just talking,” you defend.
“Mmhm. And then you stopped talking because you got scared and now Enzo is a wreck.”
You feel a pang of guilt. You hadn’t meant to hurt Enzo. You hadn’t thought that he actually might like you too.
“I’ll apologize tomorrow in class, I guess,” you mutter.
Daphne sighs.
“Look. I’m not saying that you have to date him, or even tell him you like him. But you’re both my friends, and I don’t like seeing either of you upset.”
“I know Daph. I’m just confused is all. I thought I hated him.”
“Well, I’ve always been told that the line between love and hate is fine.” Daphne replies.
Bloody hell, when had your friend become this philosophic?
“I’ll get it sorted tomorrow. Promise.” You tell her.
Daphne nods, giving you a comforting smile.
“Good. And word of advice. Drop the sarcasm, Enz might cry if you put him through anymore emotional whiplash.”
Acceptance
You sat nervously in the potions classroom having arrived close to fifteen minutes early as you couldn’t shake away your nerves. Glancing at the clock on the wall, your classmates should start filing in at any moment.
You’d finally managed to gather all the need ingredients for your potion, so today would be the day that you and Enzo would be able to brew your amortentia.
Your fingers twirled the stems of the roses you’d collected mindlessly as your thoughts buzzed between your conversation yesterday with Daphne, and the fluffy haired brunette boy that had taken up permanent residency in your every thought.
Remembering the silly game one of your roommates had played years ago, you began plucking the rose petals off of the stem, one by one. You were going to have to do it eventually anyway. He loves me, he loves me not, the phrase repeats in your mind.
“Look nervous,” A voice comments from behind you.
Startled out of your thoughts, you look up just in time to see Enzo take his seat beside you.
Clearing your throat, you give the boy a small smile.
“Just thinking about the potion. Not going to be an easy one to brew today, and I’d like to get a good mark,” you reply.
“Of course.” Enzo replies, a strained look on his face. “Wouldn’t want to waste any more of your time then.”
You open your mouth to reply, but close it again when no words come to mind. Instead, you opt to sweep your rose petals into a small pile and begin shaving off the rose thorns as Enzo wordlessly takes out the gold cauldron, lighting a fire beneath.
“So,” you say awkwardly, the deafening silence finally getting to you. “How bout that weather?”
You hear a clatter as Enzo drops pestle he was holding to look at you incredulously.
“I know some of my conversation attempts were bad, but that was downright criminal.” He says with a snort.
Unable to hold back your laughter, you let out a giggle. “Yeah, I’ll see myself to Azkaban for that one.”
And just like that, the two of you fall back into your comfortable rhythm of idle chatter, jokes, bickering as you work seamlessly together.
You can’t help but watch with silent admiration as Enzo dutifully stirs the cauldron, careful to keep even counter clockwise strokes. A few tendrils of soft brown hair fall in front of the boy’s face and he gently blows them to the side with an annoyed puff.
“Pearl dust?” He asks, reaching his hand out.
As you hand him the vial, your fingertips brush softly, and you feel heat rush to your cheeks. The heat from the cauldron must be really getting to you.
“If you just want to add the powdered moonstone, we should be all done,” Enzo says after a moment, taking a step back to allow you to complete the final step.
Slowly, you approach the boiling cauldron, carefully sprinkling in your meticulously measured moonstone powder. You stir the concoction a bit longer until you see a familiar pearlescent sheen and swirling tendrils of steam.
“Think we’ve done it,” you say with a smile, looking over at your partner.
He grins back, joining you in leaning over the steaming cauldron.
“Well? What do you smell?” He asks cheekily.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“We both take a wiff? On three?” Enzo asks.
You nod in agreement, watching the swirling colors within the cauldron. They say that amortentia smells like the things you’re most attracted to, and you’d always been curious what scents the potion would elicit for you.
“One, two, three.”
You lean in, and immediately you’re hit with the earthy scent of fresh soil, a soft hint of rose, and something else- oh. Oh. You feel your eyes widen.
��Peony. And vanilla.” Enzo murmurs, head still hovering above the cauldron before he turns to look at you.
The moment your eyes meet, you both know.
“I need a moment,” you mumble, hurrying out of the classroom.
As you rush past Daphne’s table, you hear the girl run after you into the corridor.
“What happened? Are you alright?” Daphne asks as the two of you come to a stop in a small alcove that’s somewhat hidden behind one of the many large stone statues that decorate the halls.
“It’s Lorenzo. My potion- it smells like Lorenzo. Or, it smells like fresh soil, and roses, and that stupid expensive cologne that he always wears,” you gasp, out of breath.
“Oh? And what did he smell?”
“Me. My perfume. Peonies and vanilla.”
“Well, that’s good then isn’t it? That you both smelled each other? I know when we talked yesterday I said you don’t necessarily have to tell the boy you fancy him, but, if you both really like each other that much. What’s the harm?” Daphne tries to reason.
“I don’t know! I just didn’t realize I liked him that much and it freaked me out. And I’ve been icing him out these past couple days, so he’s probably so cross with me. But he’s been so nice today, I don’t know what to do Daph. I’m not good with feelings. I was never going to act on anything!”
“Is that why you did all that? Back there?” A voice asks. “And why you’ve been acting strange the past several days?”
The two of you whip around to see Enzo staring wide eyed at the both of you, mouth slightly agape.
“I think I’d best let the two of you sort this out,” Daphne says, slipping out of the alcove and back into the classroom.
“I’m sorry, you weren’t meant to hear any of that,” you start as Enzo wordlessly approaches.
“You like me?” He asks once he’s close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He looks genuinely surprised at the notion as he stares down at you intensely.
You nod slowly. “Smelled you in that bloody potion,” you mumble.
Enzo’s smile falls.
“Is it that bad? Liking me?” He asks, hurt written across his face.
“No! No it’s not! I just thought I didn’t like you- no, that’s not what I meant. I was surprised that I fancied you is all, and didn’t know what to do. Because we’ve know each other so long, and we haven’t necessarily always gotten along. And I didn’t really realize I liked you at first, and I got all freaked out and then I panicked, and-“
“Y/n, can I kiss you?” Enzo asks, interrupting your rambling.
You freeze, looking up at the boy in front of you.
“Yes please,” you murmur.
Without wasting another moment, Enzo’s lips meet yours with a hunger and passion you didn’t realize the boy had in him.
Any last trace of doubt or worry you had disappears as his soft lips move against yours, melting you into him like putty in his hands.
Right as you’re about to run out of air, you feel Enzo’s lips trail off to your cheek, placing gentle kisses as he trails down to your jaw, and then your neck.
“Enz,” you mumble softly as you feel the warm, sucking sensation against your skin in the crook of your neck.
“Shh,” he whispers, lips meeting yours once more.
You feel yourself getting lost in the sensation as he moves against you until Daphne’s voice brings you back to reality once more.
“Just so you’re both aware, we are still in class,” she calls from around the corner.
You feel your cheeks heat up as Enzo lets out a soft laugh above you.
“Rest assured love, we will be coming back to this later,” he says before placing a kiss on your forehead and leading you back into the classroom.
If there’s one thing about me, it’s that I’ll take any excuse to write a cheesy amortentia fic🤪
Special thanks to @finalgirllx and @pizzaapeteer for editing and rvwing🫶🏽
#hogmarch challenge#slytherin boys#harry potter universe#slytherin#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#matteo riddle#draco malfoy#enzo berkshire x reader#enzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x you#lorenzo berkshire x reader#Enzo Berkshire x y/n#daphne greengrass#pansy parkinson#amortentia#mattheo riddle#theo nott
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The Us That Could Have Been
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female BAU Reader
Requested: yes - role reversal of the player!Spencer fic I posted here!
W/C: 5.7k
Summary: They say if you want to get over one man, you have to get under another. Spencer isn't so sure why he dislikes the idea of you doing that quite so much.
Warnings: Mentions of Maeve, spoilers for S8, mentions of minor character deaths, smut, unprotected sex, creampie, angst.
A/N: I'm not going to apologise for this one... Have fun.
Find the rest of my masterlist here.
If you were a genius, you’d know that it took you three hours, twenty-three minutes, and six seconds to fall in love with Spencer Reid. If you were a genius, you’d also know that it took him five years, seven months, twenty-seven days, and two hours to the second for him to break your heart. The thing you were learning about geniuses though, is that they were the most oblivious people on the planet.
Her name was Maeve, he had told all of you. And he needed your help to save her because he was in love with her. And of course, you went along with it, you tried your best even while your heart was cracked in two because at this point, you couldn’t stand the desperation on his face. The day he told you about her, only days before he died, you cried in the arms of Penelope Garcia for hours, letting her console you as you felt your world get flipped upside down.
“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, god, Penelope. Five years, and I knew, I knew that if he liked me like that something would have happened already, but I just…” She rubbed your back as you laid your head on her shoulder, letting your tears fall freely as the sobs wracked through your body.
“I’ve been in love with him for five years and he never even noticed, and… Penelope he hasn’t seen this girl before and he’s desperate for her. What about me is so unlovable?” Your voice cracked as you broke down again, burying your head in your friend's arms as you let all the emotions hit you at once.
“Y/N you listen to me right now. You are not unlovable, you have never been unlovable. If Spencer cannot see what is right in front of him, then he is an idiot. You are the most amazing thing that has happened to him, you’re a great friend, you’re smart, you’re beautiful-”
“I’m not her. Penelope, I… I want to be her-” She held you as you emptied yourself for hours, crying until you were so physically exhausted that you just couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t say that you stopped crying per se, just that your body ran out of emotions to sustain you.
“Okay, Y/N, here’s what you’re going to do now,” Penelope said. She’d heard you out for long enough, but she wasn’t going to let you be miserable for long.
“You’re going to pick yourself up, take care of yourself. Get a haircut, dye your hair, whatever you need to do to get some change. And then you’re going to do your goddamn best to forget him, because if he’s too stupid to realize how special and amazing you are then he really doesn’t deserve you.” You sniffled a bit and nodded at her words.
“And then, you’re going to get back out there. Y/N, when was the last time you went on a date?”
“I don’t know it’s been… The last one I can remember was before I entered the BAU. I’ve just been so busy-”
“Bullshit. You’re going to put yourself back out there and find a man, or multiple men, who actually value you and want you. A wise scholar once said the best way to get over a man is to get under another.”
–X–
A year later and you’d probably taken Penelope’s words to heart a little bit too much. Maeve had died at the hands of her stalker not even a day later, and you felt terrible for Spencer, but he’d pushed you away, he’d pushed everyone away, so you’d decided she was right.
Your first date had been a few weeks later, and you’d have liked the fact that you’d taken him back to your place and then immediately kicked him out and never seen him again after that to stay a secret. But the BAU copycat didn’t let any of your business stay within the team for long. He had pictures of you with the first guy, the guy from a week later, and the guy after him as well. By the time you’d figured out who the copycat murderer who’d sent you all Zugzwang-themed threats was, he’d got pictures of you locking lips with five separate one-night stands.
The team had said nothing about it, of course, except Hotch’s private aside asking if any of the men in the pictures needed informing about the situation. You’d had to admit to them that you’d not seen any of them since, and, with no reaction from Spencer, you’d felt almost vindicated in taking this step.
If he didn’t care then, in those tense months where you were all leaning on each other for support, reeling from the death of Erin Strauss and the attacks on the team, closer than you’d really ever been before, then he wouldn’t ever care.
The thought was freeing. So you’d kept up with your constant stream of men, not letting them get close enough to hurt you in the way that Spencer had, using them and discarding them like broken toys, ignoring that maybe it was you that was the broken one.
It took a year for him to notice it. A year of you coming in with suspicious bruises on your neck that you laughed off, a year of your newfound confidence, a year of your conscious distance for him to notice that he missed you. It was slow at first. In those first few months, he just accepted that of course, you’d been seeing people. He’d assumed from the photographs everyone had seen that you’d been dating the entire time he’d known you, the feeling unsettling him a little, but he thought that was only because he’d never noticed.
Now it was all he could notice. The way you’d walk in sometimes smelling unfamiliar, having showered at a hookup's place before taking off, the way you were suddenly open to the flirting by the local PDs on your cases. The way a sadness seeped into his chest every time he saw you with someone else. Envy wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, so it took him stupidly long to name the emotion.
You were back at O’Keefe’s after a local case successfully closed, and if you were drinking a lot, no one mentioned it. No one except Spencer, who’d made it his objective to keep you safe and by his side the entire night, for reasons he couldn’t even name. It was stifling, having him constantly hovering over you.
“Spencer, lighten up a bit, have a drink.” You smiled up at him, trying to get him to loosen up so you could escape the way his sudden care was making you feel. The bartender was eyeing you up from his place behind the bar, and while you were usually careful not to get involved with men whom you’d likely run across again, you were throwing caution to the wind that day.
“I’ll have a drink if you drink some water and slow down a bit, Y/N.” He handed you the glass he’d retrieved earlier and you sipped it slowly, squirming under the care in his gaze. He ordered a drink, and you eyed up the bartender as he did so, pushing Spencer’s hand off your hip as he approached, offering him a smile. He looked between you and the unfamiliar man, and felt a cold flash in his veins, waiting for his drink and then pulling you away back to the table with the rest of your friends, tangling your hand with his.
You pulled out of his grip but followed him dutifully. He guided you into your seat quickly, brushing your hair out of your eyes before falling back into conversation with the rest of the team. You hated the way he could still make your heart stutter, still have you feeling hot all over from a single touch, and you felt trapped in the booth, screaming for a way out.
Your chance came an hour later, when he excused himself to the bathroom, and you excused yourself as well, running back up to the bar. When he came back, you were gone.
“Where is Y/N?” He asked with a scowl, cursing himself for letting his eyes off you for even a second when you’d drank so much that night, having come back to suggest you turn in for the night, getting ready to offer you a ride home.
“Y/N? By now, she’s either in the back room with the bartender or she’s convinced him to get off early and head back to hers,” Morgan chuckled, taking a swig of his drink. “Took her only two minutes of conversation to have him inviting her out the back entrance, she’s been gone for like five minutes now.
The constricted feeling settled in his chest again, as his scowl deepened. Not knowing why he was feeling so goddamn destroyed by that statement, he let his head hang and left the bar himself, taking himself outside to get in his car and go home. Unbeknownst to him, you watched him leave from the alley behind the bar, the bartender placing open-mouthed kisses on your exposed neck as you buried your worryingly consistent feelings in the scent of bourbon and lust.
The next week is rough for both of you. You laugh and play along with Morgan’s jokes about your game, keeping an eye out for him the entire time and ending all the conversations as you feel him enter the room or step closer. It doesn’t stop him from hearing it all, though, all the details about your sex life tormenting him, as he boils with anger at how wreckless you’re being with your constant stream of guys.
“Mama, you were on fire last week. Took you only two minutes to disappear with that guy, you’re going to have to let me in on your secrets,” Morgan laughed from his perch on your desk.
“Sorry, a magician never reveals her secrets, and what I do is definitely magic.” Your tone was suggestive and set the man off in a booming laugh, but with your back to the door, you hadn’t heard Spencer’s entrance.
“The secret is that men are more accepting of casual hook-ups with strangers than women,” he snapped at you both, beginning to ramble as you both looked up at him in shock.
“Okay, kid, I was just joking-”
“When surveyed over 75% of men said they would be willing to have sex with a complete stranger, vs. 0% of women, and while that’s just one study, there are multiple others that I could quote that have similar results.”
“Spencer,” you chastised him, but he didn’t stop.
“What? Did you want to know when posing the question of an affair to people in a relationship that 18% of men reacted positively to having casual sex with a stranger, and surprisingly 4% of women also reacted in the affirmative? Did you ask that guy if he had a girlfriend before you fell into his bed, Y/N?”
“Okay, that’s enough, Spencer, take a walk. I don’t know what’s up with you today, but that was out of line. Hotch is looking for you in his office.” The words came from Morgan, but he kept his eyes locked with yours as he was scolded, memorizing the look of pain in your eyes as he finally backed away.
He didn’t know why he did it. He knew it would hurt you, and yet he continued anyway, even after you’d begged him to stop. He was hurt, and he didn’t know why, and he didn’t think he had any reason to be hurt, and somehow it was all because you’d been in the back of his mind constantly for as long as he could remember.
–X–
“Okay, girl’s night, my place, tomorrow night. There are no cases, and I managed to get Hotch to agree to let us put our phones on silent for the night, so it’s just me, you, JJ, and Blake, a bottle of wine and some good old-fashioned girl talk, what do you say?” Penelope asked you gleefully in the break room one day as you both prepared your drinks for a busy day of paperwork ahead.
“I’m sorry, Pen, I have plans already.” You grinned up at her as she pouted, promising to make it up to her another time. You didn’t offer an explanation though, just excusing yourself back to your desk and letting her know that you’d make it up to her another time.
Reid took your place as soon as you vacated it. Almost obsessively, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy since he’d exploded on you the other day.
“I know you said girls’ night but… Could... Could I come? I think I need some uh, girl talk?” He asked Penelope, an awkward, embarrassed look on his face as he smiled tensely. If anyone knew what was wrong with him, recently, it would be them.
Last year, he’d have said it was you, but the distance he’d felt recently, combined with the fact that he was almost 90% sure you were the root of his problems had him desperate for other opinions.
“Oh. Are you sure, Spencer, we’ll be talking about all kinds of gross women stuff?”
“I was raised by a single mother. I’m sure nothing you say could gross me out. Please?” She nodded her approval telling him what time to get there and to bring his beverage of choice, knowing he didn’t really drink wine all that much if he could help it.
He turned up twenty minutes late, after spending a great deal of time pacing outside of Penelope’s apartment building wondering if he had any right to unburden himself on them like this. Pacing he wondered whether you’d actually showed up despite your mysterious plans and whether this had been all for naught anyway.
When he eventually knocked on the door, Penelope opened it and greeted him with a warm hug. “We were wondering when you were going to knock on the door, one more minute and we were going to come out to get you.”
JJ stood up to hug him, wine glass in her hand, and Blake offered him a wave from her perch on the couch. He took off his scarf and coat and accepted the glass of water Penelope offered him, settling into a chair opposite the three women.
“Penelope said you wanted advice about something?” Blake was the first to enquire, the three of them getting straight into it, not letting him chicken out of it.
“Yeah, I think so. Lately, I’ve been having these, I don’t know, weird feelings…”
“Oh god, I thought I was a few years out from having the talk with someone,” JJ joked, but Penelope shushed her quickly after a quick snicker, letting him continue.
“I’ve been… I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been acting really weird around Y/N, and I can’t figure out why.” He finally pushed the words out, feeling a weight off his chest at the confession.
“You can’t?” The room was silent for a minute as they looked at each other, and he looked at them looking at each other, wondering what it was exactly that he’d missed.
“Yeah? I don’t know, every time I see her I just want to, I don’t know, have her attention on me, even if I have to say something a little mean to get it. And in the bar that time, I was so, I don’t know hurt, I guess, when she disappeared without saying goodbye.”
They just listened to him go on, not stopping to interrupt him, so he continued.
“And there’s been this weird distance between us lately, and I guess it’s been there for a while, but I miss her, but she’s still there. I can still talk to her, and I can still spend time with her but I miss her all the time.”
“Spencer,” Blake said with a soft voice. “Since when have you been feeling like this?”
“I don’t know, I guess it started after everything happened with Strauss and the copycat in New York. But she’s always been… I don’t know, closer than most people? But every time I think we’re getting back to normal recently, she pulls away again and there’s this… void where she should be.”
JJ put her drink down and leaned a little closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Spencer, I think you might be in love with her.” He considered the words for a moment, before getting ready to dismiss them.
“No, love is a good emotion, this doesn’t feel good, it feels… ugly.” Blake stared at him sympathetically, calmly talking him around.
“Spencer, think about it. You’re protective over her, you don’t like seeing her with other people, this all started right around the time the copycat sent those pictures of her with other people. It is love, and it’s jealousy, too.”
The words hit him like a tonne of bricks as he suddenly felt the full force of his words. He was in love with you.
“Oh god, what do I do?” He held his head in his hands, and Penelope scoffed a little from her seat, the rest of them turning to look at him.
“I’m sorry, you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own genius.” She said with a slightly sharp tone, and even the girls sent her questioning stares as she continued.
“You don’t just get to decide that you want her after all this time, not after how you’ve been treating her these last few months.” She turns her head away a little bit and sips her drink, her tough-love approach leaving him slightly defeated.
“Penelope, do you know something?” Blake asks firmly, trying to coax some answers out of her.
“If I did, I’d be under a strict oath not to tell anyone. And I wouldn’t want to considering how much pain she was in when she made me swear never to tell anyone.” It was clear from the tone of her voice that she really wanted to say something though, the words desperate to spill out.
“Penelope, your loyalty is commendable, but don’t you think what you have to say could help both of them?” JJ quietly coaxed out of her, and she finally gave in.
“Okay, but if you hurt her, Spencer Reid, I will never forgive you ever again.” He nodded quickly, hanging onto her every word.
“Think about what else happened a year ago.” She encouraged him, and for a moment, he was coming up blank.
“A year ago? We were in the middle of the copycat case. Strauss had just been killed. We were close to being pulled off the case-”
“You got a girlfriend, Spencer. You came in one day out of the blue and just announced that you were in love with someone you hadn’t met, and you didn’t realize that you were torturing her.” Penelope tried really hard not to snap at him, but his ignorance of your feelings was frustrating, to say the least.
“What Penelope is trying to say, Spencer, is that we think Y/N was in love with you, too,” JJ added, softening the blow. “And finding out you didn’t feel the same way so suddenly was, well it was a shock to all of us really.”
“What Penelope is trying to say is that she spent six hours with me crying into this couch, and then picked herself up and helped you try to save the woman you had chosen over her. So yeah, she’s been a bit distant, but can you really blame her?”
“She… She was in love with me?” His heart stopped for a second, dropping to the pit of his stomach as he thought back to those days, how you’d acted around him, the smiles that hadn’t reached your eyes, the reassurances that he’d brushed off, so desperate to help Maeve.
“Honestly, until you told us about Maeve, I thought you two had something going on,” Blake added.
“We used to have an office bet when Emily was around about which of the two of you would confess first,” JJ admitted shyly.
“Oh, god.” He let his head hang a little in shame. “Do you… do you think she still feels the same?”
They shared another glance at each other again, and he panicked trying desperately to decode whatever it was that had just passed between them.
“Look, we shouldn’t profile each other but… It’s not a coincidence that all of her hookups tend to happen after you pay her some attention.” Blake observed, letting Reid fill in the blanks of her statement.
“That might be my fault actually, I told her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else.”
“I don’t want her under someone else,” he stated then, cutting himself off before he could say anything else too damning.
“She’s not here tonight, why isn’t she here?” He panicked looking frantically around the room for answers, but none of them knew really.
“She said she had plans, but she didn’t tell me what they are.”
“Do you think she’s… do you think she’s with…” He couldn’t finish the thought, instead bolting upright and gathering his things.
“I need to go.” He let out, as the women cheered behind him, finally happy that he was taking action. Penelope shouted your address at him as he left as if he didn’t already have it memorized, running out in the rain, his feet carrying him to your apartment.
He saw the light on when he approached, thankful that you were still there, and bounded up the stairs to your floor, not giving himself time to second guess this before he pounded on your door.
You pulled the door open, a confused look on your face as you greeted him, his chest heaving, water dripping down his face. He looked like a mess.
“Are you alone?” He gasped out, having to pause between each word to catch his breath.
“Spencer, what are you doing-” The breath left your body as he leaned into you, catching you around the hips and walking you back into your apartment, your back hitting the wall behind you as he rested his forehead against your own, chest still desperately drawing in oxygen.
“Please, please tell me right now if there’s someone here with you. If there is, I’ll leave, if there isn’t…” His gaze fell to your lips and your entire body lit up, the haze of your confusion finally lifting as you took in each of his words. His lips moved forward, seconds from connecting with your own when his question was finally answered.
“Y/N? Who is it?” The voice was male, and it was coming from your living room, but it was all Spencer needed to know as he detangled himself from you, pushing his wet hair out of his face and putting some distance between you two, muttering apologies as he backed out of the door again.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I’m sorry,” he said, quickly turning away from you and leaving your apartment quickly.
“Spencer, wait-” You tried to yell after him, but it was too late. He had disappeared into the night, as quickly as he came.
You returned to the living room, cursing yourself for not answering quickly enough as you crawled back into the seat you’d just left.
“What was all that?” Your brother asked from his perch, shoveling popcorn into his mouth in a way that had you somehow even more pissed at him for the simple fact of his existence.
“That was Spencer. He… God, I think he thinks I’m in here with a guy.”
–X–
The next few days at work were tense, as you desperately tried everything to catch his eye. But you weren’t sure why you were putting in so much effort. He was the one who had burst into your apartment and practically begged you for your attention, why were you now the one chasing him?
Needless to say, you took your frustrations straight to Penelope Monday morning.
“And then he left without letting me explain that it was my brother, and he hasn’t talked to me once this morning, he keeps running away from me and I don’t even know what the fuck it was he was trying to gain from all that and- ughh he is so dense.”
Penelope had sensed the oncoming disaster the moment she’d seen your social media post about your brother’s visit Saturday morning, and you only confirmed all her fears as you unloaded onto her. She silently cursed Spencer as well, and once she’d given you some reassurance and reminded you that you had some case files on your desk that were urgent and distracting enough to calm you down, she practically lept from her seat to hunt Reid down.
“Spencer Reid, you get your ass in my office right this second,” she whisper screamed at him in the breakroom, his sunken eyes showing that his jump to conclusions had left him in a poor emotional state. He jolted at her words, as she watched to see if you noticed the two of them before practically frog-marching him off down the hall.
“What the hell happened? We sent you off to confess your feelings, and you what? Pin her to the wall and breathe down her neck before running off with your tail between your legs?”
He looked down guiltily before replying. “She had a guy there, Penelope, I didn’t want to… I didn’t want to get rejected like that.”
“She did not have a guy there, Spencer, she had her brother there.” She pulled up your post on her phone and thrust it in his face as she watched his eyes go wide at his own stupidity, clutching the phone as he read your words.
“And if you weren’t a coward, you’d have stayed and told her even if she did actually have someone over.”
He’d since tuned out her words though, the crushing weight of his almost-confession that had been stuck to him since the weekend dissipating slowly.
“This is her brother?” He looked up at you again, desperate to confirm the words she’d already said.
“Yes. You’d know that if you weren’t such a technophobic freak. I love you but this is the 21st Century and you’re an idiot.”
“Yeah, I am.” He handed her the phone back and slunk out of the office, and back to his desk. He had a chance to try again, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time.
–X–
You didn’t know how you knew that night, but when you heard the knock at your door, you knew it was him.
You hesitated before reaching for the door handle, pulling it open, and confirming your suspicions.
“Hi.” You said, and he returned the greeting with a mumble of his own before the two of you fell into silence again. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but couldn’t, instead letting his gaze fall to your lips. You heard the hidden question in his look and opened the door a little wider.
It took only a moment for him to come crashing into you, hands holding your face as his lips met yours in a passionate embrace, drinking you in as again walked you back into your apartment, not even breaking away as he closed the door behind you.
You wrapped your arms up and around his neck, as you let his hands fall to your hips, your chest, your ass, exploring every part of your body he could reach as you stood caught up in each other. In your desperation for each other, you hit walls, and bumped into tables, finally stopping at your kitchen island as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he started pressing kisses down the hollow of your neck.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered between kisses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was your brother and I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, and I’m sorry I’ve been so weird recently.” You pulled his face back up to your own claiming his lips in yours once again, swallowing each of his other apologies.
He pulled away again, looking at you tenderly as he lifted you into his arms and gently carried you into your room, laying you down on your bed.
“I love you,” he whispered, and the words broke you. You’d spent five years practically begging him to say them, and another year since trying to bury even the very idea of him feeling the same way deep inside you. Tears fell from your eyes and he kissed each one of them away, muttering confessions into your skin.
“I love you, please don’t cry.”
“I love you, you’re so beautiful.”
“I love you and I’m so so sorry.” You pushed him away again slightly, regaining enough of your composure to finally talk again.
“I need to know that you’re serious, Spencer. I can’t… I can’t do this if you’re not totally sure, because it will destroy me.” Your voice broke as the words stumbled over the knot in your throat, your hands balled into his shirt, legs still wrapped around him.
“I’m serious. I don’t want to hurt you ever again.” He pressed his lips back into yours again, and you let the kiss deepen, lips slanting over each other in desperation as the need to be joined overtook your body.
He lifted your skirt, trailing a hand between the two of you as he checked your arousal. You could feel his cock pressing into your thigh, desperate to be freed from it’s restraints. He began kissing his way down your naval, but you pulled him back up.
“No, I need you now. There will be time for that later, but if you don’t do this now I think I’ll drive myself mad with wanting.” His lips reconnected with yours again as you began divesting yourselves of clothing, and within another two minutes, he was pressing into you, muttering more adoring serenades into your skin as he began catching the tears escaping your eyes again.
“Yes, Spencer, more please,” you moaned underneath him, legs tight around him as he began thrusting into you with a ferocity you hadn’t felt from him before. It was tender, but you were both desperate, after months of separation, to come back into one another.
Your lips and teeth clashed together as you let the room echo with your moans, his moans, and the sound of your skin slapping against each other. His forehead came to rest against your own as he grew closer to his release, lips disconnecting as you just stared into each other's eyes in that moment, seeing each other truly for the very first time.
“Y/N, I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum.” He pressed down into you harder, looking down to the place where you were joined and letting out a whispered curse as he watched you take every inch of him. His hips stuttered then, and you felt your own climax reach you as you felt him release into you, his lips softly tracing your own as you breathed each other in again.
He pulled out and immediately went to work making sure you were comfortable, propping you up on the bed, making sure the pillows behind you were plump and soft, and running off to find something to clean yourself up with. You watched him silently, again brushing some of the tears from your eyes.
“How do you feel?” He said shyly as he returned, having pulled his pants back on at least as he bought you a glass of water. You offered him a small smile and a thank you as you replied.
“I think… I think we need to talk, Spencer.” You said, not meeting his eyes as he looked down at you attentively.
“Why did you come tonight, Spencer?” You asked, voice so quiet you resisted the urge to repeat the question, knowing that he heard you perfectly clearly,
“I needed to tell you how I feel. It’s been staring me in the face for six years, and I somehow didn’t know, but once I did I just… I needed you to know.” You nodded at his words, standing still in front of you on the bed as you swung your legs off and asked him to pass you your nightdress back. You pulled it on over your head as you asked him your next question.
“Why did you run away the other day?”
“I didn’t know it was your brother, Y/N, I should’ve-”
“It shouldn’t have mattered who it was. If you love me, you should fight for me, right? The way you fought for Maeve.” Your tears start falling again as you open the wound that brought you this far.
“Y/N, that was… That was different-” You can hear the panic in his voice as he tries to come up with the words to explain himself.
“Spencer, if.. If it’s different then I think you should leave. If you don’t love me the same way you loved her, then there’s no point starting something.”
“Y/N, please.”
“No, Spencer. I have spent six years of my life filled with nothing but love for you. I wake up and think about you, I go to bed and you’re still there in the back of my mind. My every action is informed by your presence and I am so, so tired. So if you do not feel the same way, you need to turn around and leave this apartment.”
The silence between you is thick, as you stare up at him through your tears, face stern as you push him away.
He gathers his things. Moves towards the door and doesn’t say anything, and just as you’re about to break down, to let the sob burst from your chest in an agonized wail, you hear your front door close behind him, and you’re left alone in the empty apartment, stuck in the purgatory of your love for him, unable to move an inch.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid smut#mgg#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x you#maeve donovan#maturereiding
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Hello! I wanna send a req if u don't mind! Separate hcs/headcanons for Blade & Jing Yuan with gn!reader where the reader is being dense when another man tries to flirt with them. That's all & thx!
Contents: fluff, gn reader, hope you enjoy! Sorry for the long wait
Jing Yuan:
-The General of the Luofu and his lover are what people see as an example of a stable relationship, considering just how long you’ve been together, and not just as romantic partners either. Jing Yuan trusts you without a doubt, and you trust him all the same in equal measure, if not even more.
-Trust is not something either of you debate, and you are both happy to know of one another’s ability to trust and rely on the other, but that same trust can, in no way, be applied to the people outside of the relationship - strangers especially.
-From this, there were a few instances where a stranger might have tried to approach the General, even if you were nearby, sputtering flowery words or playing with the locks of their hair. Jing Yuan never entertained such actions, brushing them aside and making clear mention how he “had to return to his beloved” before leaving the person aside. He knows how many people swoon over him and makes it a point to give you even more love to reassure you that he’d never look at any of them as fondly as he looks at you. You’re the only one that has a place in his heart.
-But what Jing Yuan is not exactly fond of experiencing is you going through the same thing. Even from afar he can see how your lips press into a thin uncomfortable line, your eyes gazing at this stranger in caution, unblinking with unease. He sees you try, and vaguely hears as he approaches, how you try and get out of the conversation without making much of a fuss, and although you are firm too - the other is way too stubborn to back off
-The large hands of Jing Yuan find their way onto your sides, and he’s now peering at the person over your shoulder with that coy smile on his face. He doesn’t look threatening per se, but one would have to be a fool to not understand the mistake of their doings now
-He greets the person just as amiably, asking you what is going on, a curious little cat he is, he wants to know. But he doesn’t linger, he knows you want to get away, just as much as he wants to remove you from this situation. He tells the person something rather cryptic, rather poisoned honey for words, and the person understands - that much he makes sure off before he politely excuses you both away
-The General isn’t someone people fear and he doesn’t ever feel the need to present himself as a figure that needs to herald any unease of fear. He only dislikes his partner being put in such an unfavorable position and he will use his vast vocabulary to hide little threats for such behavior skillfully. His partner’s comfort is up on his priority list and he doesn’t play around with that
Blade:
-Blade is not one to beat around the bush or pray for forgiveness from anyone he might offend with his bluntness, and he certainly keeps this demeanor even after forgetting certain things due to Mara or Kafka’s Spirit Whisper
-As a lover he is rather distant and although he cares somewhere deep down in his old, scarred heart, a stranger wouldn’t be able to guess you’re even friends out in the open world. He doesn’t like standing in one place for too long, and if there’s intel that needs to be gathered or something that needs to be done, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you as well, safety reasons mainly come to mind, but a part of him doesn’t want you to be involved in this business anyway so subconsciously he is trying to distance you from the operations as a whole. He tries and he fails, but he tries again next time and fails again.
-He always has an eye out for you, like a sixth sense ingrained into his mind.
-Along the lines of his work he vaguely does remember a few bold individuals that have tried to “hit on him”, but they were either not completely sober or were easily ignored. He wasn’t the person to entertain any flirtatious remarks and he isn’t the easiest person to approach. He scares people easily, so he doesn’t have much of a problem with people getting in his way just to say his eyes are pretty or something else.
-You, on the other hand, are not nearly as blunt or scary as he is, everyone’s aware of that.
-He doesn’t waste time either. Once he senses you may be uncomfortable by another person’s approach to you, he’s already stepping in and making the person scurry off with a few rash choice of words that definitely sting at best.
-Similarly to Jing Yuan, he values the peace your own peace of mind brings, and he doesn’t play around when it comes to your comfort. If someone disturbs you, he will make sure they stop and never do so again.
-He’s rather protective of you, even in those moments where he seems to forget the connection you two share.
-Just imagine: You’re talking to this unpleasant stranger, alcohol is clinging to them like perfume and they’re talking about how they’d love to invite you over for dinner, but suddenly they look over your shoulder where Blade is now taking a step towards you. He seemingly appeared out of thin air, merged from the crowd and he’s wearing the darkest of expressions, but he is unbothered truly. You don’t have to look behind you to know it is him either, he radiates that certain atmosphere that is hard to mistake. “Is there something wrong here?” he asks plainly, stiffly even, the question more pointed to you as he glares the stranger down. The stranger, unsure if this was alcohol's doing or reality is quick to scurry away with plenty of excuses bubbling up to their lips and farewells.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
#-dragon.treasure#blade#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#jing yuan x gender neutral reader#jing yuan headcanons#jing yuan imagine#jing yuan fluff#blade hsr#blade x reader#blade x you#blade x y/n#honkai star rail blade#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star raill fluff#honkai star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr imagine
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What a drag...going shopping with his pretty girl
feat. Shikamaru Nara
Poor Guy, for some occasion you need a new dress, even when his lazy ass wouldn't move, but seeing his girlfriend in a stunning dress could be worth it..
warnings: fluff
Wordcount: 1,4k
Hello world, so since I do my little stuff, here a short glimpse of what it would be like to go shopping with our genius Shikamaru 🤌
English is not my first language and I suck in proof reading lol 👁️👄👁️
Oh he already groaned in frustration when he heard you wanted to go shopping because you was invited to the wedding of your sister.
Shikamaru was already aware that he not only needed to attend the wedding but also going shopping with you. He sat there looking at you with tired dark eyes while he had a toothpick between his lips, watching how you paced around the room while talking to your mom.
With his oh so smart thoughts he tried to get ready like morally to go shopping with you. Not that he disliked it per se but alone the fact that it was a store full of clothes, hours would go byfor you to look for the "perfect" dress, and he just wanted to chill under the clouds.
But as your boyfriend he knew his duties, aware he needed to do it with you after all why should he pass the option to "decide" what dress suits you the best. When you then hung up on the phone you looked at him, your gaze loving and excited because of the news.
"Not even a little glimpse of motivation huh." You mused out loud when your eyes locked with his. He took out the toothpick from his lips before he stretched his back.
"We both know I won't even stand a chance against the shopping thing or the whole wedding thing." Shikamaru yawned before you stepped closer to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and you placed yourself between his manspread legs. Laying your hands on top of his shoulders gazing down at him.
"You know when it's really thaaaat bad for you I can-" you wanted to tell him when je really would dislike the idea of going to a wedding ceremony or even shopping, he wouldn't have to, after all you was indeed really understanding. One of the things je loved about you. But the clever shinobi interupted you placing his hands on your waist, pulling you just a little closer and looking up into your pretty face, what showed him how concerned you was. You was could smell the faint scent of cigarettes. He wasn't uncomfortable to go, he was just an lazy ass and he knew that. So Shikamaru would do it, for your sake.
"Nah, even I am aware that this is one of those boyfriend duties I need to attend. And I love you even more than my holy sleep or watching clouds. I will get over it." Shika spoke maybe a little grumbly but that was his decision to accompany you in this. You chuckled then and laid a hand on his cheek marvleing at his skin and you found it endearing how knee he just an lazy ass. A handsome and smart lazy ass to be honest.
"Boyfriend duties hm? But fine I won't complain so get ready, baby. We go shopping this weekend. After all I need a new dress." You Said with that little wicked smile and your sarcastic tone. Why you was just an evil but so pretty temptress? Why does he sacraficed his sleep and lazy afternoons just for you? A mircale he probably would never solve.
And the minute you two stepped into a store he straight wanted to go to the dress section, although you seemed to have other plans, you wanted to browse a little through the store, not just to look at what you need but to see what you might want.
"Babe, you look at this clothes, eyeing saying 'this is cute' just to not even take it to the changing room. So where is the point in that?" Shikamaru asked with that irritaed voice, watching you browse through the section. A small smile tugged at your lips before you turned your head around.
"Not everything has to be logical right? I just want to see what I probably would like but mostly can't afford or don't really need. But I still want to look." You tried to explain that, although it was just typical behaviour for you. He shurgged his shoulders continued to walk behind you.
After you was done and took a few dresses to the changing room, Shikamaru sat down on this armchair in front of it, like the typical boyfriend should do. Just waiting for you to present him the dress you tried on. After all it should be fitting for a wedding.
You took some minutes as you stepped out of the cabin. This dress was indeed really good but you kinda looked not really convinced. His eyes ranked you up and down before they settled on your unsatisfyed face. "Whats wrong, babe?" He asked then, before he would give his opinion. The shinobi was a smart man, not saying something wrong before he would clearly knew what was disturbing you.
"Don't know kinda looks...cheap on me like with those rhinestones...I thought it would be cute but it isn't at all." You sighted and then he cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows pulled together before he rested his chin on his oalm. Yeah he wasn't the one for shopping but he would give you feedback when you really wanted it.
"Well cheap is the wrong word, it's not cheap. It just not bringing out the best. You have better dresses at home." His voice collective as he eyed you. Even when this dress wasn't ideal you still was a sight to behold.
After some more dresses were he always looked up and said something to it. Shikamaru sat there looking down to his fingers that fidget with the hem of his vest. Before you stepped out again. And this time it was the perfect dress. Black and long, flattering your figure and curves. Your waist snatched with a slit in the right thigh. Gorgeous. It was just absolutly gorgeous. When he looked at you he runned a hand through his hair, cleared his throat. Just observing you before he made a move with his finger, what means that you should turn around for him.
Even your backside, he indeed liked it really much in general was breathtaking. The usually so composed and lazy shinobi gluped hard, so his adam apple bobbed in his throat.
"What you say? It's a little bold maybe, usually I don't wear this but-" you wanted to start your explanation but before this could get iut of hand he stopped you. Besides the fact that this was indeed stunning on you this was the opportunity to go out of this shop, you found the dress you would need.
"Take it. You Look good, actually more than good. Flattering even." He replied, still his eyes roamed over you. Such a pretty girlfirend, the young man thought to himself.
After you paid for the dress you and Shikamaru walked out. Indeed it had been a while but it was not so long, as what he thought it would be. A small smile tugged at his lips, a smirk perhaps, a smart smirk. As soon as you two were outside again he lit on a cigarette took a drag before looking at you. "You know probably this wedding we need to attend won't be too bad, then I can oggle you the entire time." Hlhe Snickers at his own words. Before you have him, quiet a playful nudge. "Oggle me huh? I will oggle you too, after all we still need to get something you can wear too, Shika." You spoke and he could swear for a moment he saw a devilish grin. But then the realization kicked in he took the cigarette with two fingers out of his mouth.
"What do you mean with for me?" Poor hoy thinking shopping was over, you still needed fitting shoes and besides that he would need a suit. And Shika probably would look so good in it.
"Like how I said it, clever boy. We need a suit or something like that for you. Oh don't give me that look." You teased, patted his cheek.
"For someone who always knows every move I could make and has like battle strategy plans...you should have known that we are not done yet." You said to him with a small giggle. Then you leaned forward placed a cheeky kiss on his lips before you walked further.
"You will be the death of me." Shikamaru meant before he literally didn't have a choice and continued the shopping spree
#anime and manga#anime#fanfiction#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#shikamaru nara#shikamaru x reader#imagine#image#fluff#drabble#naruto fanfiction#naruto x you#shikamaru x you#naruto shippuden x reader#anime x reader#fem reader#naruto fluff#anime fluff#anime imagines#new blog#cute fanfic#fanfic#naruto fanfic
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Hello~ Hello~
I saw your Nu: Carnival - Bliss masterlist and I couldn't help but want to send you a request for it. May I have Eiden find another clan member (male reader), an ancient gem dragon alive long before Huey was? He doesn't like humans and prefers to stay up in his mountain cave and when he talks about Huey he calls him ""that foolish bastard"". I don't think the male reader would be a tsundere, but a lonely person with a lot of pain and loneliness from the past; so, a much more mature Edmond. This post doesn't have to have smut or be suggestive if you want it to be.
🍁Maple Anon
Eiden (+ Aster, Morvay, Quincy & Kuya) - Cold Gem Dragon Male Reader
🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.
Hey 🍁Maple Anon, I don't know how, but this turned into a lesson in dragon anatomy around the halfway point and is probably not what you wanted, but I added extra bullet points as well as a few more characters to remedy that! The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Gold” by Jeff Williams. —Benny🐰
Warnings –> Dragon Dong Anatomy, Eiden, Kuya & Morvay Are Warnings In Themselves, Sexual Situations, [Name] Is Lowkey Prejudiced Against Humanity, Eiden is Horny as Usual, Quincy is Now a Unit of Measurement, Benny forgot how headcanons work
💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎
❝𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖞 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖚𝖕 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒~❞
. . .
First, lets do some exposition!
𖢻 I imagine that [Name] was a part of the original clan members of Huey's; except the dragon wasn't exactly an official member per se. Maybe Huey wanted him to join, but he's literally an ancient dragon, and if said ancient dragon says ‘no’, it's best to just leave it at that. Also, with the mention of [Name] being a gem dragon; it made me think of a scenario where Huey actually got his neon gemstone from [Name]. Maybe Huey wanted to test his strength against a legendary dragon and ended up only being able to knock loose a tiny sliver of the reptile's gem claw.
𖢻 I would think that Huey pulling up to [Name]’s humble mountain cave and trying to run the hands with him would probably add to the dislike of humans too. But, most likely, after the ‘fight', Huey would get tired and rest outside of the cave for a few days, conversing with [Name], and the dragon began to get used to his presence. Huey would probably flaunt his ‘victory’ in the form of making a necklace of the sliver of [Name]’s claw, which would annoy the ancient reptile, but the dragon would teach his newfound companion how to harness the gem's essence. But eventually… Huey's visits to his mountain cave would abruptly stop.
Now, onto the present, when Eiden arrives!
𖢻 Eiden probably met [Name] after everyone else, since the dragon isn't an official clan member. It'd probably be on their way back to Aster's mansion that someone, likely Morvay, would ask the vampire how [Name] had been. To which Eiden would then ask them who that was since he hadn't heard of anyone by that name during the entirety of his stay in Klein. This, the group, consisting of Eiden, Aster, Morvay, Quincy, and Kuya –since the rest declined to go with in favor of heading back to rest after a long journey– took a detour and scaled up the great mountain of Chalcedony (I couldn't think of anything else) to visit the dragon.
𖢻 Eiden's first meeting with [Name] wouldn't be all that positive, with the dragon both disliking humans and having grown some resentment toward Huey. However, with Eiden being himself, he'd probably just catch on that the dragon was lonely and was pushing people away to protect himself, so Eiden convinced the others to allow him to stay in the dragon's care for a little while to soften the reptile's walls.
𖢻 The relationship between both of them from that point on can be described as a confused and exasperated husband with his headstrong and prideful wife who's a bit mean. [Name] taught Eiden to harness and control the essence in the neon gemstone (which is probably just tourmaline, if I'm being honest); the poor guy got a good handful of glares and head smacks whenever he fooled around too much. [Name] probably calls Eiden a fool or ‘young human’ most times, only rarely calling him by his actual name, as he saves that for more intimate situations.
Speaking of intimate situations...
𖢻 Let's get into [Name]’s assets~ The ancient dragon has two very large horns that curved behind his head in almost a horizontal ‘S’ shape. They are made of the same glowing rainbow gemstone as the one hanging from Eiden's neck and make for a very good stabilizer if you reach out and grab them like handles. While they aren't an erogenous zone, if you tug on them, they do hurt a bit and I imagine that [Name] is probably a masochist. Going a bit farther down we have his thick tail and two dicks– yes, that's right, we're following that trope on this one. [Name]'s tail is quite long and incredibly strong as well. It can support several heavy objects and 15 Quincys, even more than that if he's in his true form.
𖢻 Onto the pp! [Name]’s members both rest inside of a somewhat small internal sleeve when they're not at full mast. The inside of the sleeve is incredibly sensitive, with the walls being made of thin and smooth, spongy flesh, with an organ located near the back that secretes a sticky, lubricating slick that makes it easier for both members to slide in and out. The sleeve's entrance– or rather, the exit, is a simple vertical slit situated just a few inches above where a human man's schlong would be. When flaccid, [Name]’s dicks are about 2-3 inches long with a circumference of 1 inch, allowing them to rest in the sleeve without issue. But when aroused they grow to about 9-10 inches long with a circumference of 4.5 inches. They have a thin and tapered tip and various bumps and ridges along the underside and are a nice reddish pink in color.
Anyway–! Let's get back on track!
𖢻 Eiden, of course, finds [Name] super hot, but also incredibly intimidating; considering the dragon tried to kill him when he first noticed the gemstone hanging from the brunette's neck. But, after a week of spending time together in [Name]’s cave, Eiden managed to soften the ancient reptile up. Now, the world hopper sets aside a day every week to visit his favorite handsome dragon; letting the horned man train him to be stronger so that he doesn't have to rely so heavily on everyone else. That's not to say that the two don't spend time together doing other things as well though. Oftentimes, Eiden will pester [Name] about giving him a ride on his back because ‘he's never ridden a dragon before’; the audacity.
𖢻 Though… that request for 'a ride’ usually devolves into a steamy session of the sexy dragon hopping up and down on his favorite human's dick. He won't let poor Eiden cum for hours on end; stopping whenever the man gets close to punish him for his insolence. Rest in peace to Eiden's pp. We'll be holding a candlelight vigil later today in its honor.
𖢻 Aster, bless his greedy heart, always tries to convince [Name] to come to his mansion and stay for a while. The vampire both wants to brag to other nobles that he knows the great tyrant of the mountain and also just wants an old friend to visit his home and stay for a bit so that they can catch up. The two had been ‘apart’ for some time –despite Aster hypnotizing a few people to send [Name] letters every month– and the little vampire had missed him dearly. He also just wanted his favorite mannequin to come back…
𖢻 Morvay and [Name] have a strange relationship. Oftentimes, when the incubus had grown to find his regular meals less filling, he would pay a visit to his favorite dragon for a full-course meal that'd last him a whole week! However, when the insatiable familiar has had his fill, the two just cuddle and talk about how they have been since they saw each other last. Morvay fills the ancient beast in on all the details his empty little head can remember, and [Name] says the same thing as he usually did: ‘It was uneventful’. It's a nice little routine the two have and they prefer it that way.
𖢻 Quincy is surprisingly not despised by [Name] despite his status as a human. The two have only interacted twice in the past; the first being when Huey brought him by the horned man's cave after weeks of begging and the second being when [Name] made the spontaneous decision to leave his cave and take a walk around the forest for a while. Both meetings weren't too bad; the two men really just stared at each other in silence the entire time; not being bothered to talk at all. [Name] finds the tall blonde to be a comforting presence– Topper's cuteness helps as well.
𖢻 Kuya… is himself. He and the old man in the mountain had actually never met before Eiden brought him and the others with him to meet [Name]. However, the sly fox was incredibly intrigued by the dragon and paid several visits to the cave after the initial one. Kuya loves reclining against a boulder and listening as the other recounts memories of a time that the yokai hadn't even been alive for. It was quite relaxing and even more interesting than those illusion cards that the young master had tricked him with.
. . .
❝𝕷𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖒𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖗'𝖘 𝖉𝖆𝖞; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞-- 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉~❞
💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎
🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.
Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘
Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!
#hunn1e bunn1e's ask box#male reader#nu carnival#nu carnival eiden#nu carnival aster#nu carnival morvay#nu carnival quincy#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival x reader#nu carnival x male reader#nu: carnival#nu: carnival eiden#nu: carnival aster#nu: carnival morvay#nu: carnival quincy#nu: carnival kuya#nu: carnival x reader#nu: carnival x male reader#eiden x reader#eiden x male reader#aster x reader#aster x male reader#morvay x reader#morvay x male reader#quincy x reader#quincy x male reader#kuya x reader#kuya x male reader
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The Perfect Cocktail
Synopsis: You and San get into a fight that leads to Seonghwa and Siyeon having to mix up the perfect cocktail to get the both of you to make up. Pairings: Bff!San x fem!reader ; Renjun from NCT dream is also mentioned in the fic but not as a love interest per se; Siyeon from Dreamcatcher is Seonghwa's fraternal twin in this because I said so genre: crack, fluff, angst if u squint and look really hard Warnings: alcohol drinking and going to a club, oc jokes about offing herself once because of school, Siyeon jokes about a dilf professor WC: 2.8k (I got way too carried away this was supposed to be a blurb 😭); flashbacks are in italics a/n: this is fiction, so anything that is written in this piece does not portray these people's character irl. Please always read the warnings carefully. I got way too carried away with this one, but I hope you guys enjoy it! HIMYM is one of my favorite TV shows and I was inspired to write this fic because I rewatched a couple episodes. I also have no clue why I keep writing about clubs and sports, I have like 0 background in that so if there are any inaccuracies then you'll just have to deal with it lmao. I highkey think the formatting of this fic is off but as always, your feedbacks are always deeply appreciated. Hope you enjoy the fic!
“You know, if it bothers you so much, you should just go and talk to him.” Siyeon points out, taking you out of your train of thought.
“I mean, I could…” But you wouldn’t. Siyeon shakes her head.
You and San had a lot in common. You met at the age of six when you both decided you wanted to learn taekwondo. You shared a love for mint chocolate chip ice cream, a dislike for vegetables, and a deep passion for cats. But above all, you were both painfully in love with each other and too afraid to admit it. In your years of friendship, this was one of the biggest fights you’ve had to date.
[ 1 week ago ]
“I can’t believe you, San. You know how much this club means to me!” You point at San, your eyes are filled with disbelief. The arts club was something that you had joined on a whim during the first week of freshman year, but as time lapsed you grew to love the small group of artists in it.
“It was only a suggestion, I swear. I didn’t know they meant the arts club. C’mon, y/n, you gotta believe me.” He massages the bridge of his nose, then looks at you.
“God, you jocks never fucking think about anyone else but yourselves.” You mumble. A hurt expression quickly flashes on San’s face but he quickly regains his composure. You shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. The lunch in front of the both of you is forgotten as the atmosphere gets more heated.
“Look, when I suggested getting funding from somewhere else, I had no idea they’d take it from the arts club. Hell, I didn’t even think they’d take my idea seriously. Y/n, we need the money to get better equipment. You know this. We might actually have a fighting chance against SMU this year!” San argues with you.
“We had to fight tooth and nail for that money, San. You know those funds were going to help renovate the studio.” You bite back.
Siyeon and Seonghwa exchanged concerned glances. As fraternal twins, they were extremely good at communicating with each other, almost to the point of telepathy. They shared a look that they knew meant one thing.
We need to do something about this.
[ 5 days later ]
You groan as you plop yourself on your bed. Today was a long day. You woke up late to your first lecture of the day, scraped your knee because you tripped while running to said class, and had to skip lunch for an emergency meeting with your groupmates for your health ethics class. You silently cursed at your professor for thinking that an impromptu group project was a good idea.
“I despise that man.” You mumble into your pillow, still laying face down on it.
“I don’t know, if it wasn’t unethical I’d probably tap that.” You lift your head off of your pillow just to throw Siyeon a disgusted look.
“Mr. Kyle?! Gross.”
“What? He’s tall and cute. He gives me Carlisle Cullen vibes” Siyeon reasons out.
“He’s also 33, Siyeon.” She just chuckles at my words.
“Well, enough about your professor. You need a break. You aren’t looking too good.” Siyeon looks at me with genuine concern.
I probably looked worse than I felt. It was midterms week and deadlines were piling up. To make matters worse, you and San had not talked to each other for the whole week. But both of you were too stubborn to apologize to each other.
“God, tell me about it. I’m one minor inconvenience away from becoming a statistic.” You joke.
“Well….” Siyeon starts, I look over at her. “Midterms week ends this week, we could go clubbing this Saturday?” I groan at this suggestion.
“Siyeon, you did not just suggest that. Remember the last time we went out clubbing?”
“One more martini, kind sir!” Siyeon giggled at the bartender. He handed her the nth martini of the night, and she waddled her way back to the booth where you, San, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s friend, were stationed.
“You know what would be stupid? If you guys dared us to make out. Wouldn’t that be so stupid?” Siyeon giggles again, while nursing her martini. Your eyes widen as you shake your head. She leans into you, making heart eyes at you then looking over to the boys.
“I dare you guys to dare us to make out.”
Needless to say, you were adamant to get her to sober up quickly that night.
“Every. Time.” You deadpan at Siyeon.
“What?! We had a great timeeeee.” She whines out her sentence. She gives me her best set of puppy eyes and looks at me with a pout.
“Pretty please.”
“Fine. But no martinis. I mean it.” You could never say no to her puppy eyes.
“I only suggested that because it would be so stupid…. So stupid.” she mumbles. But she grins inwardly, the plan had to work.
She sends Seonghwa a text.
SY: she folded, going clubbing tom SH: san just agreed to tomorrow too SH: operation perfect cocktail is a go SY: i did not agree to calling it that SY: nerd 🫵
[ Earlier that morning ]
The twins are sitting at their apartment table munching on some stale cereal. They clearly had a lot on their mind. It had been 4 days and you and San were still actively trying to avoid each other. This fight had been going on too long for comfort. Usually, you and San resolved fights within 2 days of starting them. You guys were whipped for each other, but too stupid to actually realize it.
“We need to interfere.” Seonghwa breaks the silence.
“Yeah, but they clearly won’t talk to each other. At least, not sober.” Siyeon reasons out.
“Wait no, that’s actually a great idea. We need to get those bitches drunk!” He suggests, pointing his spoon around.
“But, we can’t just get them any kind of drunk. We need a plan, Hwa.”
“Right, right. We need to get them the right kind of drunk. How about something mellow, red wine?” He suggests.
“I don’t know, red wine has a weird effect on y/n. She reaches like, a sad point of clarity.”
The room was buzzing with excitement as the countdown for the new year was about to start. Siyeon was sitting across y/n, at a college bar sipping on some red wine.
“B+. All my life I just wanted to be an A, but I’m a B+. And I just have to live with that?” she stares at her glass with a forlorn expression.
Happy New Year!
“If we want them to open up, I say we go straight up gin.” Siyeon gets a piece of paper to write down their ideas.
“Hmmm, last time San got gin drunk it was at that trashy sports bar. He almost got into a fight that night” Seonghwa shakes his head.
San was trudging through the dimly lit hallway trying to find the men’s room. He turns left and notices another guy walking towards him.
“Look at this dude. Who does he think he is? Walking to me, showing me no respect. I’ll show this chump what I’m made of.” San thinks to himself.
He continues walking down the hallway, taking large strides trying to size up his opponent. Just as he is about to make contact with his newly sworn enemy– thump.
What the?
Oh. It was a mirror.
“How about cocktails… Pina Coladas?” Seonghwa suggests.
“Well, when san has one of those he gets really into himself.” Seonghwa recalls.
It was a halloween tradition for the five of you to hang out at the twin’s apartment and have cocktails. And as the night progressed everyone was getting buzzed with the “pina ghoul-adas” made by Hongjoong. Everyone was gathered at the front of the television watching Gonjiam– all except San who was too scared to even look at the TV. Instead, he was stationed at the front of a full-length mirror nursing the yellow drink in his hand and swaying to the sounds of the movie. He was looking at his own reflection with sensual feline eyes. Clearly he was feeling himself.
“Hey guys. I dare you to dare us to make out.” San playfully winks at his own reflection.
“Sannie, you know that’s another mirror right?” Hongjoong points out. But San is too busy flirting with his own reflection.
“They’re idiots.” Seonghwa sighs.
“Agreed.” Siyeon nods.
“This better work. I can’t have another lunch with the both of them going at each other. They ruined taco tuesday.” Seonghwa says solemnly.
“We got this.” Siyeon smirks.
If there was one thing the Park twins were great at, it was meddling in other people’s lives. To this day, you still shudder at what they did to Chris after he stole and reformatted Hongjoong’s laptop. You never wanted to get on either of their bad sides.
[ Saturday night ]
Dolled up and ready to finally let loose, you and Siyeon book an uber going to the club that you guys usually frequent. But when you get there, you aren’t too thrilled to see San standing near the entrance with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. You look over to Soyeon with an unimpressed look.
“Really?” You deadpan at her.
“The boys wanted to come with, okay? And I knew you would cancel on me if you knew….” She smiles sheepishly at you. But you know what? You were not going to let some stupid boy get in between you and a fun time.
“God, I need to get drunk.” You sigh to yourself. This night better be a fun one.
You guys walk into the club after lining up to get in. The place is teeming with sweaty bodies dancing and grinding on the dancefloor. Usually, you would have cringed at the sight of so many people. But with the 3 shots of tequila you and Siyeon drank as pre-game, the positive buzz was humming through your body and your inhibitions were starting to melt away. You guys make it to the bar but there is a line to get drinks. Hongjoong leaves for the men’s room, and the twins volunteer to get the first round of drinks, leaving you and San to awkwardly sit in silence as you wait for the twins to come back.
Lining up at the bar, the twins look over to you and San basically ignoring each other. Sitting across from each other at the booth, it looks like the both of you haven’t even said anything to each other.
“Okay, we’ve cross-referenced every alcoholic drink with their reactions. What’s the right drink for this situation?” Siyeon she eyes the both of you sitting at the booth.
“They aren’t even looking at each other…. Hmm, we need a drink that will start a fight.” Seonghwa says.
Gin.
-----
“God and we’re back to this again. You can’t honestly believe that I would suggest something like that and be serious about it y/n.” San’s eyebrows furrow at your unimpressed expression.
“I don’t know, San. Can I? I knew you didn’t like me hanging out with Renjun but this would be taking it way too far.” You roll your eyes at him. Maybe it was the alcohol buzzing in you. Or maybe it was the over stimulating environment. But whatever it was, you were getting fired up. In fact, you both were.
“What does this have to do with me not liking Renjun?! I don’t like the bitch but I wouldn’t backstab you like that like some crazy psycho!” Bringing up Renjun clearly bothered San a lot. Of course, he didn’t like him. He could tell that he also had a crush on you. It takes one to know one, you could say. But he would rather manscape coach Liu before he admitted that out loud. Deep down, he knew that some sick part of him was a little happy that you would spend a little less time with the boba-eyed boy. But, he didn’t want to tear down something that he knew meant a lot to you.
“Well if you really were my friend, you should’ve fought for me!” You point at him.
“Okay, now that we have them where we want them. We need a drink that will make them emotionally vulnerable. I’m talking full on Kim Kardashian ugly crying.” Seonghwa says.
“Right. Right. We need something that will turn subtext into text.”Siyeon scans through the handy notes that she took down.
Whisky.
-----
“I just felt like I was never good enough to be your friend. I’m not talented in drawing like you are. I could never really relate to how you and Renjun banter over your arts and stuff. It felt like I was being replaced!” He tears up. His pout and his red face was melting your heart.
“Oh Sannie, I could never replace you. I was just so hurt when the club’s funds were going to be used for something else. I was so upset that I took it out on you. I just wanted something to be involved in, you know? To feel important.” You slur out your heartfelt words.
“y/n, you are so important to me. Like super duper atomic bomb important.” San hiccups.
“It just felt like you were getting so involved with soccer that you would forget about me…” You pout, tears starting to gather in your eyes.
“Oh god, I never thought about how you would feel.” San cries out.
“I never thought about how YOU would feel. I’m such a dingus.” You wipe away your tears and frown. You see a bit of your mascara in your finger. But you felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulder.
“Man that got depressing real fast.” Siyeon looks over at both of your forms drunkenly leaning on one another after that heart-to-heart conversation.
“We need them to let loose a little. I mean, that’s what we came here for anyway. Might as well give them a little of what they actually came here for.” Seonghwa points out.
Pina Colada.
-----
You and San are slowly swaying your hips to the tunes of Charli XCX’s top hits. The strobe lights are bouncing off the walls, the bass of the songs vibrating throughout the club so hard they make your heart hurt. The both of you were finally having some fun after midterms week fried your brain.
“Wooooo! Fuck health ethics, fuck my professor, and fuck midterms week!” You nod to the beat of the song.
San was dancing in front of a mirror placed on the corner of the club, just having a great time twirling the little umbrella that came with his drink. He was making the same sensual look at himself in the mirror, biting his lip even.
“God I missed this feeling.” Seonghwa sighs in satisfaction, looking over at the two of you breaking it down to Guess by Charli XCX.
“I know right. Now I know why we love meddling in people’s lives so much. Dance my puppets, dance!” Siyeon rubs her hands together like a villain in a disney movie.
“Okay, let’s end the night before they black out and forget everything. We need to end it with a bang.” Seonghwa says.
Beer.
-----
“I love you.” San slurs while stumbling across the pavement with his one arm wrapped around your waist.
“No, I love YOU.” You giggle and boop his nose. You are swayed by his unsteady walking.
“God, we are just so loving. Nobody is doing it like us, y/nie.” San smiles thoughtfully.
The both of you are a giggling mess as the twins try and haul you into Hongjoong’s car. The drive to the twins’ apartments was riddled with a bunch more “I love you”s being drunkenly slurred between the both of you. Hongjoong, who was the drunk driver, was nervously looking at the backseat every now and then, hoping and praying that neither of you vomit in his car. But the real challenge was getting the both of you up 3 flights of stairs.
After successfully hauling the both of you into the apartment, you and San lay a tangled mess on their pull-out couch. The both of you are out cold once the twins managed to change most of your soiled clothes. Sleeping like babies while cuddling each other, the twins look exhausted but satisfied at their work.
“Mission Perfect Cocktail: Success!” Seonghwa whisper-shouts while pumping his fist in the air.
“I never agreed to call it that.” Siyeon repeats herself.
“Whatever, you donkey. You just hate that I’m more creative than you.” Seonghwa snaps back at Siyeon.
“Oh please, like I could ever be jealous of your virginity corner.” Siyeon claps back.
“Hey!”
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