#or just straight up arguing with him about. how Harvey CARES but he just doesn’t know how to show it (a la the entire Donna trial arc)

[katierosefun]

deranged thought of the day is that each of harvey specter’s exes reflect mike ross somehow. anyways

[imkylotrash]

On The Edge

Pairing: Riven x reader

Request: Reader is a water fairy & gets infected by a burned one and riven’s scared that the reader dies. Anonymous

“You know what? I’m done.” People lie when they tell you heartbreak doesn’t kill. You lift your hand to your chest convinced there’ll be a hole from where he ripped your heart out but somehow there’s no injury. 

“You’re done?” It’s masochistic to ask him to repeat it but you just don’t understand how an argument turned into a breakup. You’d mentioned that you were worried about his day drinking which you still are and he’d just lost it. Accused you of wanting to change him and being like everyone else. Clearly, you’d touched a nerve, but you never thought he’d break up with you. 

“I’m just over you always trying to change me. I am who I am.” He grabs his stuff before running out the door. Your feet seem glued to the floor because every time you try to follow him, your feet refuses to move. Maybe it’s the shock holding you in place. 

“What just happened?” Sky asks. Of course, he heard everything. He’s probably been waiting out in the hallway waiting for the fight to be over with. 

“We should get going.” You’re not ready to say it out loud. 

“I thought you said it was a bad idea?” 

“I changed my mind.” You grab his sword and hands it to him. Yesterday, Sky asked you if you were up for a little hunting in the woods to help Silva. You’d told him it was a bad idea and to let the adults handle it, but now you’d do anything to just get out of here. 

“Hey,” he says grabbing your arm, “no distractions. We have to focus when we go out there.” You squash the small voice in your head telling you not to go. 

“I’m fine, really.” You even plaster on a smile to convince him and poor Sky, who is desperate to help Silva, believes you. As you head out, you leave a note for Riven in case he comes back to tell him where you’ve gone and that you want to talk when you get back. It’s just that you don’t return in any condition to talk to him. You don’t remember Sky carrying you back to school or Mr. Harvey treating your wounds. For a while all you feel is pain. Your body is on fire and you’re screaming for someone to help you but it’s no use.

“Baby, I’m right here.” You try to locate the voice but it seems so far away. He keeps talking but you’re in and out of consciousness. 

“Please just open your eyes. I’m so sorry.” He keeps talking but you can’t hear him. The next time you’re conscious, you manage to open your eyes. Even in his sleep, Riven is clutching your hand. You try to feel out in the room but you can’t get a sense of water anywhere. Panic settles in your body. You’ve never been without water in your entire life, even just a glass of water would be enough for you to feel calm. Being in touch with your element keeps you calm but now you can’t feel it at all. 

Riven,” you croak trying to move despite the pain. Immediately, he’s awake asking what you need. 

“Water.” He runs out the door and returns with a glass of water. Just the feeling of it entering the room calms you down. 

“We had to remove everything with water in it while Ben treated the wounds. Your powers were all over the place,” Riven explains grabbing your hand once again. Silence settles in the small room as you drink the water but you don’t need Riven to say it out loud for you to know; you’re not healing. 

“Is Sky okay?” you ask and Riven nods. 

“He brought you back to school. He saved your life,” Riven says in a bitter tone.

“I’m so sorry for what I said,” he whispers finally looking at you. He’s seconds from crying and miles from how he normally acts in situations like these. 

“I didn’t mean any of it. I was angry and I took it out on you. When I came back, you were gone. I kept thinking if something happened to you, it’d be my fault.” 

“Riven, no one is at fault here except me. It was my decision to go out there. I’m sorry I scared you but I’ll be fine.” He keeps quiet and you realise there’s something he’s not telling you. 

“What is it?” you ask wondering if you’re even ready to hear what he’s about to say. Judging by the grim look on his face, it’s not going to be pleasant. 

“They were hunting in groups. Sky managed to kill one but the other got you. Silva’s out hunting for the one who hurt you.” 

“But that’s good news. Sky got the one who injured Silva,” you say not understanding why Riven looks ready to cry. If anyone can find the Burned One, Silva is the one for the job. He used to hunt these during the dark years. 

“We’re running out of time,” Riven says and it hits you like a brick. Sure, Silva is good at hunting these things - maybe even the best - but there’s only so much time before Mr. Harvey can’t keep the infection from spreading. You might die and all you can think about is how much it’ll destroy Riven. 

“There’s hope until the very end, Riven. If you don’t give up, I won’t.”

“Never.” He leans in and kisses your forehead. He’s being as gentle as possible but your entire skin is on fire. You smile promising yourself that as soon as you get a second alone, you’ll get to shed a tear. But right now you remain strong as you look at Riven who’s turned into a complete mess. Your heart breaks for the boy he truly is at heart and how scared he is of people leaving him. 

“Hey,” you say grabbing his chin to make him look at you, “I’m not going anywhere. We have to trust that Silva knows what he’s doing.” You take a deep breath signalling for Riven to do the same. Every breath adds to your pain but it’s worth it if it helps Riven cheer up. What hurts you more than anything is the pain in his eyes. For a moment, it looks like it actually helps then Sky enters. 

“You’re awake,” he states in a surprised tone. 

“I hear you saved my ass out there,” you say hoping to keep the conversation light, “thank you.” 

“Wasn’t easy. Had to drag your ass all the way through the forest. I’ll send you the check from my chiropractor.” You start laughing but it turns into a cough and immediately Riven’s frown makes a return. 

“You should take a shower, handsome. You smell.” Sky laughs locking eyes with you for a brief moment before helping Riven to his feet. 

“I’ll help you to our room, but you gotta handle the shower part on your own,” Sky teases and you’re forever thankful that your hunting partner knows you this well. Although, Riven protests it only takes Sky minutes to drag him out of the room. You finally allow yourself to feel the pain from your wounds. Trying to seem fine is taking its toll on you. Five minutes of self-pity and you’re done. You tell yourself over and over as you try to face the fact that you might not make it through this time. When Sky returns, you’re not quick enough to dry away the tears. 

“He’s showering, you still have a few minutes,” he says quickly and you fall back against the pillows. 

“I don’t want to die,” you whisper admitting the one thing you’ll never be able to admit to Riven. He needs you to be strong but there’s no shame in falling apart in front of Sky. 

“Don’t talk like that. Silva will find the Burned One and kill it.” Ever the fixer trying to see the positive. 

“He doesn’t have much time. I feel it in my bones. It’s spreading and soon Harvey won’t be able to stop it.” Sky tugs a strand of hair behind your ear with a pitiful look in his eyes. He knows you’re right and he knows it’ll destroy Riven. 

“There’s still time. Saul sent word that they were tracking one up North. It might be the one,” Sky offers with a smile. He’s giving you hope when there is none. You know you won’t make it through another night with these wounds. Your fever is too high for your body to keep up. 

“There’s a letter in a shoebox under my bed in case I don’t make it. Please give it to Riven.” You’ve always known that being a fairy comes with certain dangers so you didn’t want to leave unprepared. 

“What are you talking about?” Riven is standing by the door looking like he might break something. “What letter?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you say trying to sit up straight. 

“Give us a minute, Sky.” He sends you an apologetic look as he leaves the room. Riven sits down next to you awfully calm. It’s the calm right before he explodes and you’re not sure you’re ready for it. 

“What letter?” he asks again making it clear that he’s not going to drop this. 

“I wrote you a letter in case I was ever injured and didn’t...” 

“In case you didn’t make it? But you said there was hope!” His voice is shaking but you’re not sure if it’s from anger or heartbreak. 

“Sweetheart, I’m just trying to prepare for every outcome. I-” 

“There’s one outcome and that’s you staying alive. Do you hear me?” You bite your tongue and nod. The last thing you need is for the two of you to argue when you might not wake up tomorrow. Instead you pat the empty space next to you and smile. 

“Just be careful,” you whisper as he gently crawls into bed with you. He falls asleep there and at some point, even you fall asleep despite the pain getting worse. You don’t expect to wake up the next day but you do. The fever broke at some point during the night and the foul smell of your wounds have gone away. Not daring to hope you slowly lift up your shirt to find beautiful, pink skin rather than ugly slashes. 

“Riven!” you yell out in excitement. 

“What?” He’s awake in seconds looking for the danger. 

“Saul did it. He found the right one,” you exclaim lifting up your shirt to show him the healing wounds. Your hands are shaking as you cup his cheeks and kiss him. You’re going to be alright. 

“As soon as Mr. Harvey clears you, we’re burning that letter. You don’t get do die on me, alright? Not before we’re old and grey.” You can’t help but smile at the thought of growing old with Riven. 

“Okay.”

[inkedwarrior]

Prompt #1

AN: So, I have had this prompt forever and never gotten around to writing it. But now it's done. I did change some things because they fit easier with how I write. It got way longer than I intended and I'm still not super happy with the ending, but still, I hope you guys like it. Thank you @silvafox for the inspiration. Prompt: You've always hated your power to reveal people true opinions of each other, it got your parents divorced, after all. But after jokingly using the power at a work party while drunk, you realize your partner/spouse loathes you. But your worst enemy, an asshole coworker, loves you. Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

In general, being a mind fairy wasn’t the easiest. When you were younger, you had a hard time coping with your gifts. Your mother, being a mind fairy herself, tried her best to help you, but while she mainly focused on dreams, you strayed between the mind, dreams and thoughts. But it all paled in comparison when you discovered another part your gifts around your twelfth birthday. It was a normal morning, you and your parents eating breakfast together before the start of the day. Noticing a weird aura around them, you closed your eyes to delve deeper. You wish you never had.

What followed were the worst minutes of your life and from that moment on, you hated that part. You hated the fact the their divorce was your fault, because if you hadn’t delved deeper into their bond, they never would have revealed their true opinions of each other. You couldn’t stand to know that your parents loathed each other and the fact that they found out was your fault. Over the years you’ve tried to find other fairies with the same ability but so far you’ve come up short. There wasn’t much information in books either, so you could never put a name to ability. It didn’t matter, because after what happened to your parents, you vowed to never use it again. So you secluded the part deep within yourself and tried to live your life as best as you could.

You went to school, met your partner, who would later become your spouse and eventually got a job offer to teach at Alfea, a very prestigious school for fairies and specialists. You jumped at the chance when Headmistress Dowling contacted you with the offer and since your partner could work from anywhere, you packed up your things and moved to Alfea. The pain and guilt of what you’ve had done as a child was always there but you learned to live with it. You had told your partner of what had happened but asked them no never speak of it, and noticing what a discomfort the subject brought you, had dropped it.

Teaching at Alfea was everything you’ve ever dreamed of except for one thing. Or rather one person. Saul Silva. The headmaster of the specialist had made it his personal mission to make your days a living hell. He was always getting on your nerves, complaining about this or that, making comments under his breath when he thought you weren’t listening. If the two of you ever had to work together, you spent more time arguing than anything else. Farah quickly noticed and tried to keep the two of you apart as much as possible.

“Hey Y/N, wait up,” looking behind you, you notice Ben Harvey juggling several plants at the same time. Laughing, you offer to take some of them off his hands. He generously accepts and the two of you continue to stroll towards the greenhouses. Arriving there, the smile on your face disappears quickly, seeing Saul leaning against the wall with that cocky smirk of his.

“Ben, I need advice on a couple of things, do you have time?”, he follows the two of you inside. Wanting to get as far away from him as possible, you put down the plants on a bench and noticing Ben doesn’t need any help, you hurry away, pushing past Saul and closing the door behind you. You would never admit it out loud, but despite getting on your nerves most days and just in general being an asshole towards you, you couldn’t help but to notice the fact that Saul Silva was attractive. You hated yourself for even looking at him like that, but there was something that stirred a feeling deep in your gut every time you looked at him. You always shook those feelings away, reminding yourself that you were in a loving relationship, with a partner who loved you.

The thought of your partner halted your steps. How long had it been since the two of you slept in the same bed? Shared a kiss? Thinking back, you couldn’t remember. Lately you had been working late with Farah, planning a new lesson plan for next year, and more often than not, you had opted to stay in you overnight suite that you vacated at Alfea. And your partner was constantly working, traveling. But had it really been that long since the two of you saw each other. Checking your phone, you noticed that your last phone call was over 2 months ago. Arriving at your door, you went inside and sat down. Staring at the phone, your finger hovering over the call button. Despite the feeling telling you to not call them, you pressed down and held the phone to you ear. Several dials tones pass by before they pick up, sounding slightly out of breath. They almost sound surprised to hear from you and the feeling grows worse. Not wanting to argue you nicely ask them is they’re still coming to the annual Alfea Christmas party, hosted for the teachers each year. Agreeing to a time and date, you quickly hang up, neither of you uttering any words of love or comfort. Curling up under the covers, you close your eyes hoping that sleep will come soon.

Two weeks later

You were drunk. Or maybe tipsy. Either way, you had consumed far too much alcohol and decided to maybe switch to water for the rest of the night. Your partner was chatting up someone on the other side of the room, and even though there’s a lot of people around, you see them flirting. Somehow, it doesn’t bother you. It should bother you that the person promising you the future, forever and always, is flirting openly, but it don’t. When did this happen? When did you fall out of love with each other. Noticing you watching them, they make their way over to you. Sitting down, they take your hand, asking if everything is alright. Looking at them, you decide that no, everything is not alright.

And that’s when you notice it. The orange aura surrounding them, the same aura that once had surrounded your parents. Through the haze induced by the alcohol, you stare at them, unconsciously delving deeper into their mind. What you find should leave you in tears, but it doesn’t. The feeling of anger, loathe and tired is spreading throughout their body, and it is all directed at you. You let go of their hand.

“So, where you ever going to tell me?”, you stand, looking them in the eyes. You’re just tired now, and you want straight answers. You pull them to a quiet corner, out of prying eyes.

“Tell you what?”, they look confused for a moment, but you see the understanding slowly dawning in their eyes. Anger quickly surfaces and you don’t even have the strength to defend yourself.

“You said you never wanted to talk about this, and I never thought you would ever read me like that,” they’re upset and you understand. But you don’t care. Exhaling slowly through your nose, you take their hand.

“If you want out of this marriage, you should have told me,” they look down at your joined hands. Eyes meeting, you know this is the end. They take a few steps back, fiddling with their ring. Making the decision for them, you slid your ring off, handing it over. Sharing one last look, they turn on their heel, walking away.

“Hrm,” a quiet cough startles you and turning around, you see Saul watching you with a look you can’t quite understand. But it isn’t what catches your focus the most. It’s the warm red aura surrounding him, all while watching you. You choke on air and he steps towards you, a hand stretched out.

“Are you alright?”, gone is the usually cocky facade he sports around you, instead a genuine concern etched onto his face. You try to utter something but it gets caught in your throat. Spluttering you sit down, trying to make sense of what you’re seeing. You know what the red aura means, granted you haven’t seen it much, but you remember it surrounding both you and your partner, former partner, in the early days of your relationship. It doesn’t make sense. Saul hates you, of that you’re pretty sure. He’s always an asshole and he never gives you a break. He should not be surrounded by the warm red light around you. Not knowing what to feel, you do the only thing you can. You bolt.

“Y/N, wait up,” you can hear his footsteps behind you and you turn around so quickly the two of you almost collide.

“Why do you care Saul?”, you don’t intend for it to sound so harsh, but you’re tired and confused. A lot has happened in the span of a very short time tonight. You stare him down, waiting for an answer.

“Why do I care? I know I haven’t exactly been very nice towards you and Ben told me off a couple of weeks for it,” feeling even more confused you continue to look at him. A blush is rising on his cheeks and he’s claps his hands together, so far from the person you’re used to him being.

“I’m not good at this, and I know you have no reason to believe what I’m about to say,” he takes a step towards you and the look in his eyes have you standing still.

“Good at what?”, you cock your head, and then the red around him glows even brighter than before. He seems nervous all of a sudden and clears his throat.

“Talking about this, eh, talking about feelings,” you gape at him, feeling speechless.

“What feelings?”, you remember that he doesn’t know about your ability, so you ask the question, despite that fact that his aura says everything. He cares for you, no he loves you.

“I care about you. I know that I haven’t exactly shown it, but emotions isn’t my strong suit and when I felt this way about you, I panicked. You’re married and I didn’t want to ruin anything so I thought the best way was to act like an asshole,” he speaks clearly and you want to laugh out loud. This situation is more messed up than you would like it to be but the feeling you usually get around him stirs in your gut once again.

“My partner just left. I gave them my ring back,” holding up your hand, you show him the blank spot where your wedding ring used to be. Explaining that your marriage has been over for quite some time and this was only waiting to happen, you see him smile, and you can’t help but to smile back. Feeling that this conversation is far away from being over, but something tells you that it can wait. Taking a step forward, you grab his collar before he can react and rise on your toes to press your lips against his. The red swirls around the both of you and for once in your life, you don’t hate your ability.

[masterthespianduchovny]

As much as I understand the need for queer representation, queer shipping around mlm ships tend to be misogynistic as fuck. Doubly so if one of the male characters has a canon female love interest. They have to shit on her and "punish" her for interfering with a ship that isn't canon and was never going to be canon.

And that's important to note because, within the last few years, fans of these ships frame these relationships as barriers to their preferred ship or they get mad that there isn't an open ended to pretend these two characters ended up together.

As if this is somehow the fault of the female characters and not the writers. Most importantly, it overlooks the fact that, more times than not, these character sexualities were considered and there is a vague outline of where they might end up. It's unfortunate that queerness isn't often considered, actually very little, but it's not okay to engage in misogynistic rhetoric all because your mlm ship didn't happen.

From my own personal experience, a prime example is Steggy.

Steve is framed as straight. Maybe there's a chance that his bi--idk. But the MCU has always positioned him as being into women with the subtext that he'll end up with a woman. Yet, because he ended up with Peggy, she's constantly attacked and doesn't "deserve" him because she didn't know him as long as Bucky. She's been called all sorts of derogatory things, slandered, criticized for random bullshit, etc. Reduced to just her reproductive parts, having ageist remarks leveled at her, and so forth.

Most of this didn't exist before Endgame, but after Endgame, the attacks are non stop. People are triggered whenever she comes her. All because Cap chose her over someone he wasn't even interested in. All because fans shipped him and Bucky together and the MCU didn't bend to their will.

Another example: Darvey. Harvey and Donna from Suits.

No one has to like a character, but usually, the way certain fans rip into Donna usually ends up with it being a Marvey shipper. They'll contort truth, ignore details, and color her in the worst possible light to prove how she's bad for Harvey, yet ignore all of Harvey's bullshit to prove how he and Mike are MFEO.

Let's be clear: I don't fucking care if people ship non canon ships or think two other characters, whether or not they're the same gender, are better together. However, When you're being misogynistic and sexist to upload your OTP, you can rightly fuck off. It's so easy to ship what you like without bringing that bullshit into it.

Tragically, many of these critics are women who have massive internalized misogyny, but believe they are being progressive, inclusive, and ship without prejudice. If you're tearing women down to uplift any ship, even if it's queer, that's not progressive and feeds into the patriarchy.

It's okay to prefer something else, it's not okay to feed into a pre-existing, harmful, and sexist narrative.

And it's really bothersome because these same people call themselves trying to validate the LBGTQ community, many of these shippers are straight (which this opinion is based on various discourses and criticisms of how gay characters are written in these stories and dialogue surrounding them) and ironically end up invalidating Bi, Pan, and NB people.

Some of these ships are due to these characters being hot, which is fine.

Other times it's due to chemistry, which is also fine.

But as another person argued years ago, one of the reasons why mlm shipping is so popular and prevalent is because male dynamics are actually fleshed out and explored meaningfully. This leads to wanting to ship characters who have real relationships, conflicts, and history with each other no matter how small or large.

However, the issue comes in for some because it's not canon. These meaningful relationships aren't romantic and many women tend to want some romance included, which isn't a bad thing. But when you know the romance will never happen, it's easy to get upset about that. And they know people who ship canon pairings have that over them, which is infuriating.

Which is understandable.

Regardless, diminishing, trivializing, and insulting women is not okay, esp when some of these women have the relationships with men that are usually reserved for male dynamics.

Donna and Harvey have a long, complicated relationship that is based on a professional dynamic, friendship, and romantic yearning. This was established in the first season and didn't come out of nowhere, yet people either ignore that, play it as one sided, go on and on about why they couldn't be just friends (they never were), and hilariously, refer to it as fan service.

Peggy and Steve develop a friendship of sorts, are supportive of one another, genuinely are in love with each other, and have worked alongside each other is criticized because Peggy didn't know Steve as long as Bucky. Appalling things are said about her.

Thing is: these aren't the only fandoms that do this. Trust and believe, whenever there is a major male pairing, if any woman is canonically paired with ether one of them, she's being attacked and called gross things. That's not okay even in the name of representation. If you genuinely hate this female character because of who she is and not because of her gender, I get that. However, a lot of it is gender based and it's quite obvious when reading these criticisms.

Wanting better and more representation doesn't excuse or justify shitty behavior.

Lastly, people factor in compulsive heterosexuality regarding their criticisms of various straight pairings. That's a validate take, however, we need to be honest about our issues with certain pairings rather than piling on undeserved hate towards female characters, and then have nuanced conversations about what this means in context to that specific series.

No. You're not going to have these conversations with show runners, writers, and actors. I get this. But some of you need to stop harassing others and acting like assholes because they don't support your pairing (which they don't have to). If you believe Steve is bisexual, then stop fucking harassing people who ship him with Peggy. If deep, meaningful relationships are important, then stop undermining them to push a ship. And stop turning women into fucking mascots in your fanfic and fan art to prop up your ship--that shit is so dehumanizing. Often times, when these shippers don't hate the women, they only exist to say, "when will these two silly kids get together?" OR "I'mg lad you two silly kids finally got together."

Turning a woman into a mascot isn't any better than harming her or killing her to fuel a man's story--even if the man is gay.

Ironically, I'm less likely to see this from wlw ships or ships that has more queer support and than het support.

Quite interesting.

[petersasteria]

Rumor Has It - Tom Holland (High School AU)

Pairing:  Jock!Tom x Musical!Reader, BFF!Haz x Reader

This is my entry for @t-holland2080‘s writing challenge, but since I took a writing break from here, I didn't write it. The prompt was an Adele related quote and tbf, I've had this idea for about a month. So, I thought of mixing them up together. I've been re-watching Glee. Hence, the high school au and the Glee inspired stuff throughout this one shot.

Prompt: "You're so dramatic." "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

Add yourself to my taglist if you’re cool x

5.3k words omg lmao hope y’all enjoy I guess

Part 2

* * * *

Rumors. No one liked them, but every day there seemed to be a rumor made up by someone. Rumors tear other people down in a lot of ways. The idea of lies spreading everywhere wasn't ideal for everyone, yet people seem to really believe them. No one knows who starts a new rumor and no one knows how they come up with it. Rumors are basically the outcome of a person's creativity put into terrible, terrible use.

Last week, someone spread a rumor about you getting your lips fixed even though you didn't. Whoever said it was clearly false, because you wouldn't want to put your talent at risk even though it wouldn't really affect your voice.

The rumors had different themes every week. Last week, it was all about someone getting any part of their body changed. This week, however, was all about break ups. Of course, your relationship with Tom wasn't spared by that rumor.

You were dating a popular guy. Of course they'll be rumors about you two breaking up. Only this time, it felt real.

Everyday you felt like Tom was slipping away from you and you didn't want that. You didn't want your favorite person out of your life yet. You've only been dating for a year and a half and you actually planned to have a future with him. You were sure.

You already had everything planned out. You were moving to New York to pursue your Broadway dreams and Tom would move with you. Both of you were applying for colleges there and you were so excited.

You were settling with him. The only question you asked yourself every night was: 'Is Tom settling for me too?' You weren't stupid, though. You knew you were losing him to the captain of the cheer leading squad. How cliché, right? He would always talk about her, he would talk to her, walk her to class and go as far as comparing her to you. It hurt. What hurt most was that he didn't even notice he was doing all of those things.

"So what'll you do with the whole Tom and what's-her-name thing?" Harrison asked you when you both entered the glee club's classroom. "I know this week's rumor is all about break ups and shit. I don't even know why rumors have themes but it is what it is, I guess. But anyway, I heard from Lauren who heard from Samantha who heard from Dylan who heard from Adam that Tom was leaving you for her."

You sighed and shook your head, "Let's not talk about it, okay? But I'm expecting that he'll break up with me soon. I mean, I won't be surprised because the rumors of our break up are beginning to come true."

"Just know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you." Harrison smiled as both of you took your seat. You looked at him and smiled as you took his hand in yours and squeezed it. It was your way of saying thank you.

This week's glee club assignment was to sing an Adele song and you loved it. You loved Adele. Her songs held so much angst and you live for it. Sometimes, you thought that Adele was taking over your life because some of her songs matched every situation in your life.

Out of all of Adele's songs, you didn't know what to sing. Thankfully, Tom helped you out by breaking up with you the next day over the phone.

"Tom, we had plans for New York!" You pleaded.

Tom rolled his eyes and huffed, "Those are YOUR plans! If you want to move to New York so much, then move there with your loser best friend, Harvey!"

"His name is Harrison-"

"I don't fucking care. Move there with him if you want to move there so much. I want to move to L.A. I don't fit in at New York, Y/N." Tom sighed. "We both want different things and with her, it's different in a good way. We both want the same things and I can see myself having a great future with her."

"What about me?" You asked softly.

"What about you?" Tom furrowed his eyebrows. He just wanted to end the conversation already because he was preparing to get ready for a date.

"A-At some point, " You started. "Did you ever see yourself having a great future with me?"

Tom paused for a second and thought about it. Did he? Sure, he loved you at some point and he cared about you. He didn't know when he stopped. But he knew that he still cared about you. You were his first real girlfriend.

"I, uh, honestly? Of course I did. We've been together for a year and a half and I loved you and cared about you. Please don't doubt that." Tom answered.

"Well, what does she have that I don't?" You questioned even though you wished he wouldn't answer it because it would hurt you.

"She's all the things you're not, Y/N." Tom said. "She's not too focused on her career. She's not too competitive and she doesn't sing show tunes all the fucking time."

You stayed quiet as tears streamed down your face. 'So that's what he thinks of me.' You thought to yourself.

"Look, Y/N. I'm really really sorry." Tom said through the phone as you cried your eyes out. "I loved you. I really did, but I don't love you anymore. There's someone-"

"There's someone else. I know. It's the cheer leading captain." You cried. "I get it, though. She has everything that I don't have and it makes sense how you'd go after a girl like her because both of you are perfect for each other. But just remember that there's one thing I can do that she can't."

"What's that?"

"She can't love you like I can. But you're willing to throw that away so goodbye, Thomas." You sniffed and wiped your tears away with your free hand.

"Bye, Y/N. Don't be a stra-"

You quickly hung up and cried. You hastily called Harrison and he went to your house as soon as he could with post-break up items. When he arrived, he ran straight to your room and you pulled him in for a hug.

"He's an asshole, I swear!" Harrison said as he pulled away and put the stuff he brought on your bed. You wiped your tears and looked at it, "What the hell is that?"

"It's a post-break up kit that I made." Harrison proudly said. "I know it's a little big than a usual kit but I don't know what else to call it. Inside, there's a bottle of wine, some popcorn, chips and a ton of flyers from different pizza places all stapled together for when you want to buy some pizza."

"That's so thoughtful of you." You chuckled. "What made you do this?"

"Well, my sister had her first ever heartbreak a few months back and as her older brother, it's my job to make sure she gets treated the way men should treat her. Then my cousin got heartbroken and I gave her a post-break up kit too. She told me it works." Harrison smiled. "You're my third customer, y'know. I refuse to let my favorite girl get heartbroken over some guy."

"Hey, he's not just some guy." You argued as you peeked inside the post-break up kit.

"Fine. He's not." Harrison said as he got the stapled flyers from the kit. "He may not be just some guy for you, but you're just some girl for him. I don't want my best friend to be just some girl. In fact, I don't want the girls in my life; my mum, my sister, my cousin, my niece when she grows up or who else, become just 'some girl' to some guy who can't appreciate what they have. All of you are special and you all deserve to feel special because all of you are amazing." He looked at you as you sat down on your bed. He sat next to you.

"I'm sorry if it sounded harsh, but you deserve the truth and the truth always hurts. I'm just keeping it real with you." He added.

You sighed, "I just- I miss being his, y'know? I miss being his girl, his everything and all that."

Harrison scoffed and shook his head, "In case you didn't know, you haven't been his girl ever since he started looking at what's-her-name's way. You haven't been his girl ever since he didn't walk you home. You haven't been his girl when he didn't pick you up after glee club meetings and you haven't been his girl when when started comparing her to you."

"You deserve better than that, Y/N. I know it's not my place to say anything at all, but you should've left him when he started slipping away because that's when it usually starts." Harrison said and suddenly the wall started to look interesting to him. "They start slipping away but you stay because you believe that they'll come to their senses and come back. But they don't. Then you blame yourself for not being good enough when they leave you. It's always like that. So, if you ever feel like someone's slipping away from you, just leave and make your life easier."

"I don't know what to say except you're right." You nodded. "Also, you're so dramatic." You chuckled as you looked at each other.

Harrison playfully rolled his eyes and smiled, "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

"Speaking of Adele, I know what to sing for the glee club assignment." You said as you took out the bottle of wine from the kit Harrison gave you.

"And what song would that be?" Harrison asked.

"Someone Like You." You said as you stood up and walked out of your room to get two glasses for your wine.

When you left, Harrison said to himself, "Huh. Queen shit right there. I love that fucking song. Now, I don't know what to fucking sing for the assignment."

You came back in the room and Harrison said, "I'll order us pizza."

"Okay. Thanks." You smiled.

When Monday came, it was hard to look at Tom because he was with that girl he left you for. Lucky for you, Harrison was there and never left your side. When the time for glee club came, you told your teacher that you were ready to sing your song.

"I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now." You sang beautifully and everyone was in awe. Especially Harrison. It was at that moment that he knew he liked you and that he'll do anything for you.

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." You ended the song and smiled as everyone clapped. You went back to your seat next to Harrison and he smiled at you.

"You were great." Harrison grinned. "I think you'll do just fine without Tom."

You smiled at him and didn't say anything. Eventually, he was right. You were able to move on from Tom after two weeks of moping around for him. You realized you didn't want to waste your time in moping around for some guy who left you for someone else. Great stars became great stars when they were single.

Rumors. Rumors spread everywhere and they spread all the time. This week's theme of rumors were about new couples. Of course, Tom and that other girl were being talked about. They were the new 'it couple'. Rumors about you and Harrison dating were being surfaced. Of course, you didn't confirm nor deny them. No one should really care whether you two were together or not.

The truth was, you only went out on a couple of dates which you both enjoyed. You and Harrison weren't official yet, though. You were taking it slow.

On the flip side, Tom was bothered that you seemed to have forgotten all about him. He thought you would beg for him and he was kind of hurt that you didn't beg for him. It hurt his ego.

So when you were alone one day, Tom approached you when he saw you putting your things in your locker. "Hey Y/N." Tom smiled at you.

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow at him. It was weird that he spoke to you at all after the break up. He was the one who broke up with you over the phone and it confused you that he was talking to you. "Um, what do you want?" You asked.

"Ouch. Is that how you talk to the love of your life?" Tom put a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

You rolled your eyes and closed your locker as you clutched your book tighter, "You haven't been the love of my life for, like, two weeks now. Get over yourself, Holland. If you're to ask help in studying, I won't help you. That's what your girlfriend is for. You told me that she's all the things I'm not. So, I assume that she's smarter than me."

Tom was about to talk when Harrison interrupted and looked between you and Tom, "What's going on here?"

You've never been more relieved in your life. You smiled at Harrison and shook your head, "Nothing important."

Harrison nodded and turned to you, "C'mon! I promised I'd take you out for lunch today."

You grinned, "Oh, right!"

"You'd love the place, I swear!" He offered his hand to you and you happily grabbed it.

"Bye, Thomas." You smiled politely before Harrison dragged you out of school. You laughed causing Harrison to laugh too.

Tom watched both of you leave the school premises and frowned. You've never rejected him before. He kind of always expected you to choose him all the time above all circumstances and he was surprised that you didn't. What did Harrison have that he didn't? He knew it was kind of silly to react this way, but he wasn't used to it. Right now, he hated Harrison for changing you. He never really had a problem with Harrison before, but right now Harrison was his enemy because he stole you away from him.

Tom had been acting weird around you lately and you wanted to file a restraining order, but Harrison said it was too much. At this point, you've been going out on dates with Harrison two months now. Both of you wanted to make it official, but both of you didn't know that.

"I'm sorry I can't attend glee club today and walk you home." Harrison said guiltily. You shook your head and said, "Haz, it's alright. Your family is important and tell Charlotte I said good luck."

Harrison smiled, "I will. Don't enjoy glee club too much without me."

"Trust me when I tell you that I won't enjoy it all without you. You make my glee club experience easier and more fun." You looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear.

Harrison laughed and shook his head, "Oh, I could just kiss you right now!"

Your jaw dropped and his eyes widened in realization. You looked at each other and he spoke up, "Uh, forget I said anything."

"Did you mean it?" You asked. Harrison sighed and nodded. You smiled and said, "Kiss me, then."

"But I thought we were taking it slow? I don't want to force you in any-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Haz! We've been going on dates for two months now. I think it's time we make it official." You chuckled. "So if you want to kiss me so bad, go ahead, Osterfield. I dare you."

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Fuck yeah!”

He smirked and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on your lips. You kissed back and smiled through the kiss. Both of you pulled away and blushed.

"Okay, Charlotte will kill me if I'm late to watch her performance. I'll text you, okay?" Harrison held your hand and placed a kiss on it. "See you tomorrow!"

"Okay. Tell me all about it." You grinned as you watched him leave the school. You turned around to walk to the glee club's room and bumped into Tom.

"Where's your best friend? I don't see him around." Tom said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"My BOYFRIEND just left. He had to leave to watch his sister's performance at school." You told him and went around him to leave. Tom grabbed your wrist and you sighed, "What now, Thomas? Isn't Madison going to be jealous or something? I really don't have time for drama in my life."

"Leave Harrison. I want to be with you again." Tom blurted out and you laughed, "Sure, you do. Bye now." He let go of your wrist and you walked away and went to glee club.

It's been three days since that encounter with Tom and Harrison wasn't pleased with what happened. You assured him that you wouldn't leave him for Tom no matter what happens. You and Harrison have been rehearsing non-stop for sectionals with the rest of your glee club and today's the day that you'll perform.

All of you were backstage getting ready and Tom made his way to you. He huffed and he saw you kissing Harrison so he cleared his throat causing both of you to pull away. Harrison glared at Tom, but he didn't want to start a fight. He was better than that.

Harrison pecked your lips and said, "I'll check with Mike, okay?"

You smiled and nodded. He left and you looked at Tom with your arms crossed, "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you perform. It's a big crowd out there." Tom chuckled as he handed you a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

You took them and set it on the vanity, "Thanks. You never came to any of my performances so why are you really here?"

"I came to watch you perform. I realized that I haven't really been supportive of you when we were dating and I wanted that to change. And if you liked New York so much, I'm willing to do long distance and I could visit you whenever I can." Tom explained.

"It's too late for that, don't you think?" You laughed. "Besides, we don't match. L.A. screams your name and New York screams mine. New York also screams Harrison's name and we already agreed that we'd move there together. You have Madison now and you're the one who broke up with me, Tom. Not the other way around."

"I know, but I'm leaving her for you. I'm planning to." Tom said.

"What the hell is your goal here? You came all this way to tell me this?" You asked. You were annoyed and kind of pissed. You just wanted to perform now, but the fifteen minute intermission was taking too long to end.

He shrugged, "Well, yeah. I know that once you leave him for me, you'll be all over me and we could be happy again. Then maybe I could convince you to move to L.A. instead of New York. Broadway is dead, anyway. You could audition for tv or movie roles and-"

"No, Tom!" You hissed. "Broadway is my calling. I've been preparing my whole life for Broadway and you can't take that away from me. If you want to move to L.A., that's on you. Don't drag me into it and I won't leave him for you. If leaving your partner for someone else is your cup of tea, then leave me out of it. I can't do that to Harrison. He's amazing and we're moving to New York together and that’s final."

"Show time, everyone!" a voice called out. You looked at Tom and said, "You're welcome to stay and watch, but don't bother me and Haz anymore. You don't get to do that after you've made up your mind on leaving me for Madison."

You walked to your glee club members and put on a smile. You refuse to let Tom's presence distract you. After all, you were performing with Harrison and you were finally getting the solo you deserved. It was your time to shine indeed. Nothing can ruin it for you.

Tom left and went back to his seat. As soon as he sat down, a familiar tune started to play and your clear and beautiful voice was heard in the whole venue. Tom was glad that his seat was on the third row from the stage and he was able to watch you properly. This was his first time seeing you perform and he wanted to make the most of it.

"Times have changed and we've often rewound the clock. Since the Puritans got a shock when they landed on Plymouth Rock." You sang as you stood on the center of the stage with your other glee club members still standing on the side of the stage, waiting for their cue to enter.

"If today," Your eyes met Tom and he gave you a smile and a small thumbs up. You stayed in character, though and paid no mind to him which he didn't take personally. The rest of the club marched on stage and went to their positions.

"Any shock they should try to stem 'stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them." You pointed at the audience with a smile.

You glanced at Harrison and you both shared a small smile before you looked back at the audience for all of you to sing, "In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now, God knows... Anything goes!"

"Good authors, too, who once knew better words, now only use four letter words writing prose... Anything goes!" You sang and dance with Harrison as your partner, of course. As part of the choreography, you slightly pushed Harrison away and pointed at him, "Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you."

You stood at the side as everyone sang the "no, you're not" part while you sang the "yes, I am" part of the song. All of you danced beautifully when the instrumental part of the song came and everyone clapped and cheered. You were preparing yourself for the high note as everyone sang the ensemble part.

"I can hold any note longer than you." You sang as you walked to the center of the stage while everyone still danced behind you.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can. Yes, I..." You sang and held the note. You've been practicing it for weeks and you were glad that you pulled it off really well. Your voice was loud, clear, and powerful and it overpowered your fellow glee club members' voices.

You took a deep breath for the climax of the song, "Yes, I can!"

Tom was the first one to stand up and cheer as soon as the song ended. The rest of the audience followed. All of them sat down when all the girls left the stage for the boys to do their performance. You sneakily kissed Harrison on the cheek for good luck and Tom saw it and he was admittedly jealous. He couldn't believe that he thought leaving you for Madison was a good idea.

He wanted to leave then and there, but he wanted to see what you saw in Harrison that made you choose him. The music began and Tom sat comfortably on his seat.

"Boy, boy, crazy boy, Get cool, boy! Got a rocket in your pocket. Keep coolly cool, boy!" Harrison sang as he moved around on stage with the rest of the boys just standing behind him like they rehearsed.

"Don't get hot, 'Cause man, you got some high times ahead. Take it slow and Daddy-O," Harrison looked at Tom and continued, "You can live it up and die in bed!"

Tom glared at him as Harrison continued to sing and dance with the rest of the boys. "That bastard, I swear." Tom mumbled under his breath.

Harrison finished the song with a cool pose. Everyone clapped as Tom rolled his eyes. All the boys ran off the to the side of the stage.

"Good luck." Harrison whispered in your ear before you went out there. All of you girls went on stage to sing 'It's All Over' from Dream Girls. You didn't have the main solo for this one, but you still had a solo. You were singing Beyonce's lines and you were excited. Besides, this was your time to put your acting skills into use.

Mercedes, your main soloist for this song, was doing so well and you were really glad that she got the solo she deserved.

"She ain't better than anybody. She ain't nothing but common!" She sang. You got into character and walked towards her, "Now, who you callin' common you self-indulgent, self-absorbed and unprofessional?"

"You! I'm calling you, I'm calling you, the common piece is knocking off!" Mercedes sang with a raised eyebrow and walked past you. You turned around and walked after her, "Now you listen to me, Miss Blame-It-On-The-World; see I put up with you for much too long."

"I have put up with your bitchin'." You pushed her.

"I've put up with your naggin'." You pushed her again. "And all your screamin' too!"

After a few more lines, it was your solo again, "She had nothing to do with this change. It was you! It was you always thinking of you. Always thinking of you!"

When the song ended, the boys joined the rest of you as all of you formed one straight line on stage with you and Harrison in the middle which annoyed Tom so much, but he didn't react.

You and Harrison looked at each other before looking at the audience. Both of you started the song without music, "Do you hear the people sing lost in the valley of the night? It is the music of the people who are climbing to the light. For the wretched of the earth, there is a flame that never dies. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."

The music started and the rest joined in for the next lines. When all of you harmonized together, you could've sworn you saw someone crying on the first row.

"Tomorrow comes!" You all sang and it gave the audience goosebumps.

When your group was announced as the champion, you were really happy. Tom cheered too. He now understood why you loved glee club. He saw your passion for performing and you were right; New York was screaming your name. Broadway really was for you. He could picture you in two different places, on stage and in his arms. It was cheesy and probably corny, but it was true.

-

Today was the day you and Harrison were moving to New York and you were excited. Both of you got accepted into NYADA and you already bought an apartment together using both of your savings and with some additional help from both of your parents.

Tom knew you were leaving today that’s why he rushed to the airport to catch up with you. He looked around and saw you hugging your parents goodbye with Harrison next to you. He smiled to himself when he was able to get to you on time.

“Y/N!” Tom called out as he ran towards you.

You pulled away from your mom and furrowed your eyebrows when you saw Tom. Harrison wasn’t pleased to see him at all and you were tired of seeing Tom after he tried to get you back multiple times since sectionals.

“Tom, what’re you doing here? I’m leaving.” You frowned at him.

Harrison looked at your parents and his parents and said, “Um, let’s leave them to talk.” He gave you a small smile before walking away with your families. You sighed and crossed your arms as you stared at Tom.

“I know you’re leaving that’s why I’m here.” Tom said. “I wanted to tell you that I won’t stop until I get you back.”

“Tom, I’m with Harrison and I love him too much to leave him. We’ve already planned our future together and you’ll have that too, Tom. Just not with me.” You told him.

“Then I’ll move to New York too and- and I’ll look for jobs there and I’ll study there too. I just- I really, really want to be with you again.” Tom begged. “What do you want me to do?”

“Why are you doing this, anyway? You’ve been like this ever since Harrison and I started going out. What’s your deal?!” You said angrily. “Okay so, what if we got back together again and the same thing happens? I don’t want to go through that, Thomas.”

“It won’t happen again, I swear!”

“How do I know that? Because you said so?! Geez, how fucking assuring!” You scoffed.

“I thought I was the only one you loved. How come you love Harrison all of a sudden?” Tom said sadly.

You rubbed your face and sighed, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Tom Holland. Trust me. Maybe someday, we can be friends but not now; not when you’re fucking insane. You’re my first love, yes. First loves never really go away, but we do move on from them. I’d really want us to be friends, I really do. I want you and Haz to be friends too, but you’re making it difficult.”

Suddenly, it was announced that your flight was already boarding. You looked at Tom and held both of you hands, “On behalf of me and Harrison, I forgive you for all the times you tried to sabotage our relationship. If only you used all that energy in trying to be friends with me and Haz, then none of this wouldn’t happen and maybe I’d visit you in L.A.”

You pulled him in for a hug and Tom immediately hugged back tighter, “I’ll miss you, Y/N. I really will. I especially missed you when you weren’t with me.”

You lightly chuckled and pulled away, “No matter how much you claim to miss me, you can’t keep coming back to me whenever it’s convenient for you. Goodbye, Tom.”

Harrison walked towards both of you and he nodded at Tom, acknowledging his presence. You waved to your family before leaving with Harrison. Tom looked around and called out, “Hey Y/N!”

You looked at him and waited for him to say something.

“Don’t be a stranger!” Tom shouted and waved goodbye. You smiled at him and waved back. “I won’t!” You shouted back before you and Harrison boarded the plane.

“So, what did he say?” Harrison asked.

“We just said goodbye.” You responded. Harrison pursed his lips and nodded.

“Hey,” You grabbed Harrison’s hand and he looked at you. “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you too. New York, here we come!”

You giggled as you went to your respective seats. You couldn’t wait to spend your time in New York with Harrison. Your dreams were finally coming true... with the right guy this time.

* * * *

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​​​​​​ @poguesholland​​​​​ @superheroesaremytea​​  @marshxx​​​ @ella-whyte @buckys-little-hoe @harryismysunflower

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​ @petersholland​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​ @miraclesoflove​​​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing

+ @greenorangevioletgrass bc musicals x

[penwieldingdreamer]

Caring Makes You Weak - Part 2

Summary: Harvey Specter, best closer in New York City and Senior Partner at Pearson Hardman, the man most females in the city want, yet he himself doesn’t want commitment, because caring makes one weak. Enter Elle Howard, a woman he met a long time ago. Will she be the one to break down his walls and make him care?

Thanks again for beta'ing @fortheloveoffanfic

Warnings: Light cursing, an evil stepmother(?)

Words: 1544

Hardman was gone, the merger with Zane pushed away again but now Jessica wanted to merge with Edward Darby and Harvey wanted - needed to stop it one way or another.

And now the one person he'd had worked very hard to forget about waltzed back into his life because his associate had taken her case. He was never the committing type and he should have never agreed to help Mike with that pro Bono. It wasn't even his case to begin with, so what had changed?

Staring out his windows he thought back to the first time he had met her. How could one woman rattle his brain like that? First Dana Scott, then Zoe Lawford and now…now there was Elle Howard.

Harvey had met her while out celebrating a big win with Jessica and Louis. When he walked up to the bar, she stood there, the fabric of her dress tight around her curves as she waited for her drink.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, leaning one arm onto the bar while he looked the redhead up and down.

She turned a smile on her lips and a drink in her hand. "I believe I'm still good, thank you."

"Well, why don't we move on to the next one?" Harvey smirked at her, holding out his hand for introductions. "I'm Harvey Specter."

Rolling her eyes, she emptied her drink and grabbed the clutch laying on the bar top. "And I'm not interested." The redhead nodded her head and moved to walk around him.

The warmth in his belly was replaced by a coldness as if someone had doused him with ice water. It had been some time since a woman had brushed him off with not being interested but he clearly was and he needed to get to know her. "Please, just let me buy you a drink." he said, his hand lightly holding onto her arm.

Sighing, the redhead turned, her blue-green eyes narrowing in on the lawyer. "You don't like a woman saying no, do you?"

"I always win them over, so I'd say you should take my offer." Harvey told her, nodding at Louis and Jessica, who just left the bar.

Moving closer to him, the woman smiled, her eyes shining with mirth. "Well in that case, I expect you to work your magic to win this case Mister Lawyer."

"How did you know I'm a lawyer?" Harvey asked astonished, not that he could have hidden his job in a bar full of businessmen.

The redhead smirked, leaning over to whisper in his ear. "It's not so hard to figure out, to be honest. So I'm looking forward to when you've won that case, too."

"Harvey!"

Blinking, the dark haired lawyer turned to face his associate. "What you got, Mike?"

"I've been calling you five minutes straight." the dark blond said, a smile on his face as Donna laughed at her cubicle. "What's got you so occupied?"

Shaking his head, Harvey held out his hand to look over the files. "Did you find some dirt on Tanner we can use?"

"Ah, not yet." Mike scratched the back of his neck, watching his boss carefully. "I wanted to ask Louis to help me with the financials, something doesn't seem right."

"Then get to it, I got something else to take care of." he got up from his chair, buttoning his jacket before he left his office. "I'll be back later, keep my schedule clear."

Donna and Mike looked after their boss before they faced each other. "What just happened?"

"I have no idea Junior, but he's been in a mood ever since you got back from Elle Howard last Friday." the secretary said, taking a sip from the latte Mike had brought her at lunch.

Once outside on the street level, Harvey waited for Ray to drive up. He needed to get a clear answer to the questions circling around his head. The black Lexus stopped in front of him and his driver got out, opening the door for him. "Where to, Harvey?"

"To the past." he sighed, giving his driver the address. The Indian man nodded his head, started the music and drove off.

"You want to talk about it, boss?" Ray had known his employer for nearly three years now and in all that time nothing had rattled him like the case he took on with Mike Ross. Harvey shook his head, watching the city fly by as the car made its way out of Manhattan and over to Williamsburg.

"Elle!"

Elle had to get the cries of her kids out of her head, so she decided to go grocery shopping and enjoy the walk over to the store not far from her apartment. Just when she got back, the redhead saw a black car parked on the street in front of her door. Sighing, she tightened her grip on the bags and ignored the sound of a car door opening.

She would recognize that voice anywhere. "What can I help you with, Harvey? Is there something good happening with the case?"

"Mike is still looking into it, but actually I'm here because I need to ask you something." the lawyer said moving closer to her. "Why did you really leave those years ago?"

Elle knew what he was getting into and she still had her secrets, things she couldn't have told him then and would definitely not tell him now. "You know it didn't work out for us."

"You still believe that?" he argued, pushing one hand into the pockets of his suit pants, clenching it with all his might. "I know that isn't the reason why, so stop that bullshit and tell me what made you rethink everything."

Shaking her head, the redhead walked around him, moving swiftly to the entrance of the apartment building she shared with Mike, but Harvey was faster. His hand held onto her arm, tight enough to stop her, but loose enough to not hurt her. Elle blinked her light eyes at the lawyer as she tried to form words without spilling what she had longed to tell him all those years ago. "We both wanted different things and you know it."

"Is that why you suddenly up and left New York? I asked Lucille and she told me you went to Boston. You didn't even think that you could have talked to me?"

Pulling away from him, she opened her mouth to answer him, but there was no sound coming out. Elle needed to get her head straightened out before she could really talk to Harvey and just when she knew what she would tell him, her phone rang again. The redhead pulled it out of her jeans' back pocket showing Charlie's name on the display. "I'm sorry, I have to take this."

"Mum" he sniffled and Elle immediately felt tears come to her own eyes. "Please come and get us. I hate it here."

She could hear his cries and the lawyer in front of her was totally forgotten. "Charlie, baby, what's going on?"

"I want to come back to you. I hate Sarah and she doesn't even want us there. She's mean to Izzy and me. Please, mommy, come and take us home."

Clasping a hand to her lips, Elle fought the urge to break down when she listened to her sweet boy cry because of her ex husband's new wife. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't come and take you home. You know that we still have to wait a bit."

"No! I wanna go home now. Izzy doesn't like it here, too." the young mother could hear her youngest crying next to her son and she knew she had to put an end to it.

Closing her eyes, Elle took a deep breath. "Charlie listen to me, I'm going to come over and we'll talk, okay."

"Okay, I guess." She knew her son wasn't satisfied with her answer, but there was no way she was giving Travis more power over her, than he already had.

Harvey had listened to the conversation and was trying to come up with possible scenarios to fight against Tanner, just so he didn't have to listen to the kids crying for their mother. "I'm coming with you, Tanner isn't going to be happy with you showing up at his house."

"I can do that on my own, I know Travis." Elle tried to argue with the lawyer but from the look he shot her, she knew she'd have to fight him tooth and nails. "I don't need your help to make sure my kids are fine."

Shaking his head, he took a step back from her. "It's either me or I'm sending Mike to Tanner's house and you know it's not going to be pretty." Harvey held up his phone, ready to dial his associate so he could make sure nothing was going wrong and would destroy the case.

"Okay." the redhead muttered, lowering her head in defeat, she trusted Mike, but not around her ex-husband, he could be petty and it would end up in bloodshed if something went wrong. Rolling her blue eyes, she nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Fine. But at least let me get the shopping inside."

[megalony]

Serendipity- Part 2

Here is the second part in my new murderer! Ben Hardy series which I hope you will all enjoy, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh​

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is trying to keep moving on with her life after her affair with Joe’s brother, Ben who is in and out of prison. But Ben won’t let her go so easily even after the torment he imposes on her. He wants to be in their sons life but things aren’t easy when everyone believes Harvey is Joe’s son, not Ben’s.

Enjoy.

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"Will Benny be here?"

"I don't know baby, he's pretty busy right now." (Y/n) tried hard to keep the irritation from her voice because she knew it wasn't Harvey's fault. He didn't know or understand that Ben was a difficult person to be around and that most of his family didn't want to be in his presence. Harvey seemed to be the sole person who wanted to be around Ben right now and that made things ten times worse because he was the one person who (Y/n) wanted to shield away from Ben.

When the three of them entered Joe's parent's house, (Y/n) let go of Harvey's hand, knowing that he was going to find Lucy and run straight to her.

(Y/n) found herself watching after him for a few moments as a feeling of dread crept into her stomach and chest. Ben was right last week, people were going to tell in a few years to come that Harvey wasn't Joe's boy. If his looks weren't enough to make people think of Ben then his interests were, he was sporty like Ben and he was infatuated with any stories that Ben told him about fighting and boxing. Ben was becoming a role model to him and (Y/n) couldn't do anything but watch as karma came to bite her in the ass.

"It's bad enough that he idolises Ben, but you let him take Harvey out last week. What if something happened? What do we do when he eventually finds out what Ben's like?"

Joe slipped his jacket from his shoulders but his eyes stayed solely focused on (Y/n), waiting for her response and her reaction to his words. He wasn't intending to rile her up but he couldn't help how it was already annoying him. His little brother was dangerous and if it wasn't enough that Harvey was so fond of Ben it was worse that he had been out with Ben when he had only just come out of prison. Joe didn't trust his brother as far as he could throw him even if he was trying to make amends and stop the bridges from burning between them.

"For God's sake Joe it wasn't like Ben stole him, I went with them and nothing would have happened anyway because Ben adores him. And as far as I'm concerned he doesn't find out unless you want to be the one to break it to him."

(Y/n) found herself debating whether to say that Ben loved Harvey but she quickly decided against it. Even if it seemed true, Ben's kind of love was twisted and corrupted and she couldn't bare to think that Ben felt that kind of love for Harvey. It was better to think he adored him rather than loved him.

It was clear that Ben wouldn't hurt Harvey, he won't put him in danger or scare him or get violent towards him in any way and that was clear to everyone. But because Ben was dangerous no one wanted him around Harvey and (Y/n) especially didn't because Ben was a lethal weapon and he could ruin Harvey's life. He could tell him he was his dad and when Harvey eventually found out what Ben was like it would confuse, scare and torment him until all he could think of was that he was going to turn out like Ben. (Y/n) wanted her son safe and protected and thinking Joe was his dad and keeping him as far away from Ben as possible was the best way she could think to do that.

"We both know what Ben's like, sorry for wanting Harvey away from that."

(Y/n)'s eyes followed Joe but her body went in a different direction until she was walking into the kitchen to get herself a drink. They were here for a family dinner since it was Sunday and they hadn't all been together for a while but (Y/n) had a distinct feeling that Ben was going to turn up. He was always invited no matter what crime he had committed or how badly he was bruised and beaten up. Coming out of prison meant nothing to his parents because they were simply too afraid to lose their youngest son.

Cutting Ben out of the family wasn't an option, everyone loved him too much to do that. Even when (Y/n) tried to cut her ties with him he just kept crawling back out of the shadows until it was impossible not to think about him, let alone go without seeing him for a day or a week.

"Hey... Harvey said you've seen Ben, how is he?"

The drink in (Y/n)'s hand was set down after she'd downed half of it when Lucy's voice flooded her ears. When she turned her head to look over at Lucy (Y/n) felt her stomach constricting at the worried look on her face. Joe and Ben had never been the closest of siblings but Lucy and Ben had always been close in a way that reminded (Y/n) of twins. It didn't matter what Ben did or how cruel and twisted he became, Lucy still cared about him and it gave Ben an advantage and something to play on whenever he felt like it.

Lucy leaned her side against the kitchen counter as her lips curved into a soft but concerned smile. Her short platinum hair was crimped into small waves and curls which framed sweetly around her face and the black eyeliner and eyeshadow she had on framed her blue eyes.

Even though she had no idea just how close Ben was to (Y/n), Lucy did know that her brother was rather close to (Y/n), almost like he had an infatuation with her.

"He's... how he normally is. You'd think he was back from a holiday rather than prison, put it that way." There were no words in (Y/n)'s vocabulary right now to explain just how Ben had acted and how he seemed when he visited her last week. Cheeky didn't cover it at all and even though he put (Y/n) on edge, he wasn't on edge himself, he was right where he wanted to be in terms of his comfort zone.

"I suppose that's better, considering how he was when he was released a few years ago." Lucy's words were spoken as she had a faraway look in her eyes causing her to miss the way (Y/n) shivered, knowing exactly what time Lucy was referring to.

It did seem better that Ben was happy and his usual self when he was released rather than bearing a grudge for something because he could be ruthless when he wanted and no one got spared when he was like that. The time Lucy was referring to was when Ben had done six months in prison and came out like Lucifer being released from Hell because he'd been away when Harvey was born. He had wanted to be there when his son was born and it had put him on the warpath that everyone was congratulating Joe and singing his praises when it wasn't even his child.

"Oh, thank you, by the way."

"What for?" A feeling of dread started to slowly build up in the pit of (Y/n)'s stomach because even though Lucy's words and her smile were genuine, she had the same look about her that Ben did. Ben smiled and played innocent when he was about to unleash Hell onto (Y/n) and that shared look made her fear that one day Lucy was going to turn around and shatter her world with a few simple words just like her brother.

"For letting Ben see Harvey. Joe and dad are adamant that he shouldn't but Ben loves spending time with him, it means a lot to him that you let him see Harvey and you never turn him away."

(Y/n) knew she was overthinking what Lucy was saying, but she couldn't help but feel like Lucy knew more than she was letting on. It felt like she was hinting at the truth which no one else should know and it made (Y/n)'s skin crawl and her heart beat faster in her chest. She knew that if Lucy did know the sordid truth, she would never be able to stay quiet about it because her conscience would never allow her to. She was being nice and understanding right now but (Y/n) couldn't help but read more into what she was saying because she was always on edge.

Ben made her anxious and nervous and she knew the catastrophe that would occur if people found out she'd had an affair with Ben and that he was Harvey's dad.

"Harvey adores him, I can't really say no."

(Y/n) couldn't turn Ben away either, he never let her.

Sweat started to prickle on (Y/n)'s skin when Lucy rested her hand on her arm for a second before she left the kitchen, presumably to go and talk to Joe or their parents. It would have been so much easier if Ben wasn't Joe's brother, if he was a stranger to them all so that (Y/n) never had to feel like whenever she saw their family she worried she would be caught out. She felt like a criminal, as if she had committed a crime with Ben and he was going to expose her because he didn't care if they knew or not.

Ben would rather the whole world know that Harvey was his boy and that he had (Y/n) under his spell, wrapped around his little finger. But he didn't say anything because of (Y/n) and what it would do to Harvey if he found out.

It felt like a lifetime had passed where (Y/n) stood drowning in her thoughts and the glass of juice that was almost empty. She knew soon enough that she would have to go and talk to Joe's parents and make her presence known, she also had to find out what Harvey was up to. But (Y/n) didn't get a chance to dwell on the thought of mingling with relatives before an arm suddenly curled around her waist.

For a split second, (Y/n) thought Joe was trying to cling to her like he did whenever they argued to get back into her good books. But when she felt the arm tighten and press into her hips, her eyes darted down to look at the hand. When she saw the roman numerals on each knuckle she knew it wasn't Joe standing behind her and as soon as a tall frame pressed up to her back it was as clear as day who was behind her.

"You look surprised, did you think I wouldn't turn up to see my family?"

When Ben's words were whispered in her ear (Y/n) shivered as her eyes darted around the kitchen to double check that no one was hovering in the doorway bearing witness to their infidelity. It wasn't like (Y/n) wanted to do this, Ben knew how anxious he made her and he knew that trying to be affectionate to her where they could get caught was only going to make her have a panic attack.

All the words got caught in (Y/n)'s throat and then swallowed down when she felt Ben pressing butterfly kisses to her neck until she tensed her shoulders and didn't tilt her head to give him more access. But her denial didn't bother him one bit for he simply leaned his temple against her cheek causing his hair to tickle her skin before he nudged her head until he has as much access to her neck as he wanted. He was like a vampire getting ready to strike.

"Someone will see." (Y/n) hissed the words like a snake but her tone made no difference because Ben only smiled against her skin.

"I'm counting on it, maybe then I don't have to sneak around you. Where's Harvey, I wanna see him." Ben sounded so authoritiative and demanding because he expected to get what he wanted and he knew (Y/n) would always give in to him.

A shiver ran down (Y/n)'s spine at Ben's words that made her stomach twist itself into knots. He didn't sound like he was asking (Y/n) if he could see Harvey, he was giving her a demand that he wanted to and therefore he was going to get what he wanted. Ben knew well enough to know that (Y/n) barely ever managed to go against him, she could always say no to him but her actions never followed through with her words. Ben got his own way and everyone else allowed it because going against him was too hard.

She didn't want him to see Harvey. She didn't want her son getting even more attached to someone who was known to break people. But (Y/n) couldn't stop Ben from seeing Harvey or he would have no problem making things a Hell of a lot worse for (Y/n).

"H-he's here somewhere-" (Y/n) barely got three words out before a gasp left her breathless lungs and she froze in place when she felt Ben's teeth grazing against her neck just below her jaw. "Ben no!" She kept her words quiet in case someone heard when passing the kitchen and she was already surprised no one had walked in yet. She couldn't have Ben trying to leave marks on her skin because everyone would see and Joe would know he didn't leave those marks there.

"Worried your little hubby will know these are my marks, not his?"

"Please." (Y/n) dug her nails into the counter when Ben bit her neck before leaning back up, a sign that he wasn't going to tease her anymore, at least not by leaving any marks on her.

"Oh baby, don't worry I won't leave any marks until I've got you alone." He could feel how his words made (Y/n) shiver and they both knew it wasn't in a bad way. "Now, where's my boy?"

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Anxiety pummelled through (Y/n) to the point her body was shaking and she was coming over in a cold sweat. The phone call she received two days ago made her blood run cold and scared the flesh from her bones to the point she really didn't want to come here, but she didn't have a choice.

(Y/n) had no idea what Ben had called her about but it sounded serious and the dark tone of his voice told her that when he called her his face was one she was thankful not to see. He had been in prison for just over a month now and (Y/n) hadn't heard a thing from him until two days ago, not that she was really expecting to hear anything from him. He had been in prison before and never called her, but they'd never had an affair the last time he was behind bars.

He rang her at eight at night and shouted down the phone until she was in tears, demanding she come and see him within three days or he'd be calling Joe and telling him about their affair. (Y/n) had no idea what had rattled Ben so much but she knew his threat was real which was why she was waiting now to be taken to see him.

The moment Ben came into sight (Y/n) felt herself shaking worse and she was surprised the guard on her left hadn't pulled her to one side and asked if she was okay.

When Ben noticed her (Y/n) could see the anger in his eyes directed at her in a way she had never seen before. He had been cheeky, snide, dark and sometimes worrying around her but he was never frightening like he seemed right now. (Y/n) felt her heartbeat drumming in her ears as she slowly sat down opposite Ben who looked like he didn't know whether to sit or stand. He had his arms leaning on the reflective table, his hands gripped so tightly together that his knuckles were white despite the tattoos.

"Is it true?"

Ben's eyes were darker than (Y/n) had ever seen them before and she was sure his jaw was going to snap with how tight it was held in place. He leaned over the table until he was sneering at her like a rabid dog that was about to snap and bite her.

"What... Ben I- I don't know what you mean, I don't know why you called me or threatened me like that. What do you think I've done?"

(Y/n) didn't know what she was expecting today but she didn't think he would dive right into accusing her of something. She felt compelled to ask if he was okay, how he was coping, what he actually did this time to land himself back into the place that was becoming his second home. But he had no bruises or broken bones or marks so she guessed he wasn't fighting and was therefore doing okay. And he never told anyone why he got arrested, usually no one wanted to know.

"I talked to Lucy the other day, and she told me your pregnant. Tell me it's not true." His words were quiet but there was no missing the cold tone to his voice or the venom that was on his tongue as he spoke.

There was a burning intensity in Ben's eyes as he watched the emotions flood through (Y/n)'s eyes. She tried hard to stop her eyes from glossing over as her arms wrapped around her chest like she was trying to cut off her breathing and her circulation. She didn't think her and Joe were going to be telling anyone right now but he had clearly confided in Lucy that they were having a baby and she thought it was common knowledge. And with how close she was to Ben it was only natural she was going to talk to him about it because she knew he was friends with (Y/n).

"You want me to lie to you?" (Y/n) curled in on herself when Ben's upper lip curled and he snarled as his eyes narrowed darkly.

"We're you going to tell me?"

"We would have told you when we told everyone else, I didn't know Joe told Lucy-"

"That's not what I asked. I said, when were you going to tell me?" Ben curled his left hand into a fist barring his index finger which he tapped against the table like he was making a point or demanding something from her, which essentially he was.

But (Y/n) couldn't give him an answer because she didn't have one. Ben would have been told by Joe or Lucy or their parents soon enough just like he already had been but (Y/n) wouldn't have told him herself. She couldn't have pushed herself to tell him and she didn't even think she would ever get a phone call off him, let alone come to prison and actually visit him. Never before had she stepped inside a prison and she didn't know if she ever would again. But (Y/n) wondered deep down that if Ben ever got put back in prison and he called, maybe she would come running. She came today because he put the fear of God into her over the phone, but if he was kind and determined like he normally was with her she might have visited him then too.

"You're shitting me, right? You've slept with me for the last year and you don't think to mention you're now pregnant? You think I don't deserve to know you're having my kid?"

"Did Lucy say it was yours?" (Y/n) didn't know where the sudden bolt of courage came from that allowed her to use her voice properly and sit up straight in her chair but the courage disappeared the moment Ben's expression changed. He knew his sister clearly assumed it was (Y/n) and Joe expecting a baby but Ben just knew this was his child. He was the one (Y/n) had been sneaking around and sleeping with for near on a year now so it went without saying that there was a ninety percent chance this was his baby.

"I don't believe that after all the times I fucked you, you went straight home to my inferior brother and slept with him too, or else why would you keep coming back to me? Now you tell me the fucking truth and stop lying to both of us. How many months gone are you and do you honestly believe that's his kid and not mine?"

"I came here because at eight at night you blackmailed me and scared the shit out of me. Who threatens someone down the phone and then shouts at them when they go out of their way to see you? You're in prison Ben, do you get that? You're supposed to be here for the next two years and you think you should have a baby?"

"If you don't answer my questions I will walk away from you right now and the next phone call I make will tell my brother each and every time, place and date where I fucked you behind his back. I have no problem with him finding out that he's so useless, tiring and inferior that you turned to me and still can't help yourself. You want him to know everything we've done behind his tiny little back?"

(Y/n) couldn't hold back the tears that fell from her eyes at his cruel, sadistic words.

There was no fear, remorse or pain in his voice. He was deathly serious that if (Y/n) didn't tell him what he wanted to hear then he would use his threats against her to break his big brother's world into shattered pieces and crush (Y/n) in the process without a second thought.

Ben didn't even care how badly he was upsetting and hurting (Y/n) right now. He had never been like this with her and it was frightening, even with the guards dotted around the large room to protect everyone, (Y/n) still didn't feel safe. Ben had never hurt her before but she knew how cruel he could be and right now she wouldn't put it past him that he might turn to violence with how cruel he was being and how tormented he seemed.

"I'm four months along, and it doesn't matter that I... I know it's your baby. You're in prison, you kill people and frankly sometimes you can be a monster, no child should have someone like you as their dad. As far as everyone knows, this is Joe's baby and you will keep it that way because you are stuck in here. No one will believe you if you tell them and if you do then I can promise your sadistic ass you will not see me or this baby for as long as you live."

(Y/n) knew this was Ben's baby and that thought scared her to the bone because she didn't want her child to grow up with the same sadistic tendencies and gruesome thoughts and actions that Ben did. If her child turned out like the man sitting in front of her (Y/n) would go beside herself and her mind would shatter.

But if her baby grew up with someone like Joe as their dad then those tendencies might never come about and they could have a childhood where they were never afraid of their dad or bullied for who their dad was.

She almost lost herself in thought until Ben slammed his fist down on the table so suddenly and forcefully that (Y/n) jumped back in her seat and recoiled into herself. Her eyes were blown wide with fear as she watched Ben hold his hands up in defence so the guard didn't come over and restrain him for showing an inch of the anger he felt inside of him.

"You have the nerve to call me sadistic? You sleep with me, you sneak around behind my brother's back and then go home to him and pretend that he's enough for you. And now you're telling me you plan to pretend my child his his?"

"You had an affair with your brother's girlfriend and you murder people like you're killing a spider. You fucked me, that doesn't make you a dad which is something you should never be."

(Y/n) watched the way Ben's eyes darted from her eyes down to her stomach that was visibly round beneath her shirt that did nothing to hide it. The more he looked at her stomach, the faster his finger started to tap against the table until he was hitting out a brutal beat that got harder and harder until it felt like he was hammering a nail right through her stomach. She had riled him up, something (Y/n) never wanted to do and she knew if she said one more damning thing to him he would explode.

"Lying to Joe doesn't make him a dad either. Trick yourself all you want but I'm not hiding the fact that you're having my baby, not his. That's my child."

"Too bad no one will ever know that. Goodbye Ben."

(Y/n) pushed herself up from her seat and placed her bag on her shoulder, watching with burning intensity in her eyes as Ben stood up but looked like he wanted to grab her or even shout at her for this. He wasn't finished talking but she wasn't going to continue this pointless conversation any longer. Ben was going to be here for months and (Y/n) wasn't waiting around for him or ruining the life she had just because Ben was too obsessive to let her go. She was going to do something cruel to Joe by lying to him but it was for her baby, not for herself. She couldn't let her baby have Ben as their father and she knew Ben wasn't going to tell because he risked never seeing his child and losing (Y/n).

"You fucking bitch!"

The way Ben almost screamed his tormenting words made (Y/n) stumble back into her chair. She had never seen such rage in someone's eyes before that was directed fully and completely towards her. He looked like she had just told him she had cheated on him with his brother and was having his brother's baby rather than it being the mirrored way around.

There was no time for (Y/n) to back away or scream or even to try and ask Ben to calm down before he grasped the edge of the table and flung it on its side out of rage. (Y/n) half expected him to turn into the hulk at any moment and crush her in the palm of his hand. The tears that fell from her eyes and the shaking in her system didn't impact on him one bit when usually he would have broken down for seeing how he was petrifying her. Ben liked to tease and make her anxious and he didn't normally back down but he had never made her feel afraid for any reason and she had never been scared of him before now.

Guards were alerted from Ben's harsh outburst but they didn't get to him before he took two steps and got to (Y/n). His hands clamped down on her upper arms and pulled her until she stumbled over her uncoordinated feet and into his chest.

"You're fucking lucky your pregnant right now. That's my baby and you can't change that, lying to yourself doesn't make it his child it makes it a murderer's baby and you'll never live that down."

(Y/n) couldn't tell if Ben was shaking her or if she was trembling but either way she felt like she was going to be sick and when Ben's hand held her chin bruisingly she sobbed until someone ripped him off her and another guard pulled her a safe distance away.

She watched in terror and pain as three guards had to pull Ben away and pin him down to the ground when he kicked out at a chair, forcefully and precisely smashed his foot into a guard's chest and then clamped his arm around the poor guard's neck to choke him. Ben flung his head back into a guard's head until he heard the man's nose snap but he didn't manage to do more than push himself onto all fours before he was forced back onto his chest with his arms held behind his back.

(Y/n) didn't know how long Ben would actually spend in prison but she knew it was never going to be long enough for her to cope with what he had just said and done.

She didn't want him in her child's life.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Oh I didn't realize you'd seen Suits! I'm curious about what you thought of the final season if you're caught up? I couldn't get into it. They caved to Faye Richardson way too easily

It's been a while since I last watched it, but yes I have!

In general, I like the show and I like the concept of all the characters being arguably terrible people who carry out the will of the mega-corporations and make ungodly amounts of money in the process, all just to "kick some ass." But like...they're still so human. I adore Louis, he's easily my favorite. Especially his character growth in Season 8. Jessica is a boss, and she went out like a boss. Harvey is compelling, and I like the whole storyline between him and his mother. "The Painting" is probably my favorite episode for that reason. Mike is...annoying sometimes, but still someone I grew to care about. He wants to do the right thing, but he loves to say that he's a good person more than he actually is one. Rachel's importance seemed to decline after a while, but I am glad they kept the relationship drama to a minimum. She had neat storylines. Donna...oh god. Donna is likeable to me...at first. But the show keeps trying to portray her as this flawless superwoman that she just isn't, and never holds her accountable. Don't get me started on Donna, I have a whole rant about her.

Season 9 is...an interesting beast. I'll fully admit that I am not well versed in New York law, but I agree with you - I have my doubts about the realism of everything that happened. Can the New York Bar really just assume total control of an independent firm whenever they want? Do they have that much power? I can't find anything in my research that suggests they do, but if there are any lawyers out there in real life who are reading this, by all means correct me. I just find it hard to believe that they can order a firm to change who's name is on the wall, and if the firm refuses, they can appoint a new managing partner? They can threaten to fire every single employee of the firm if Louis doesn't sign over absolute control? How does that work, why don't the other named partners have to sign? Why can't all of them outvote her, when that's how the firms have always worked? Here's my question. If the Bar can do all of this, why haven't they yet? Why did it take nine seasons?

Faye Richardson is frustrating because I believe she's meant to be a case of reality ensues, the real world catching up to the shady lead characters. Trouble is, she's not a straight shooter herself. In the very first episode, she uses Mike's fraud cause as one of the examples, and flat out ignores the point that there's no proof Harvey or Louis knew. (Alex and Samantha weren't even there when this happened.) She just says "Where there's smoke, there's fire." Okay, great line. But it's not proof. Later on in the season, they find leverage on her, and opt to not use it because "it would destroy her image of her father" to which I say...really? The daughter is an adult, and it's not like her father killed someone. She'll get over it. Meanwhile Faye tries to keep the moral high ground by saying "I crossed one line in my career, for my family. That's not the same thing as what you do." Like...that doesn't matter, Faye. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to argue that what you did is justifiable, then you are admitting that crossing lines can be justifiable in the right circumstances, which kills your entire premise for being at the firm. Everyone could argue that their case is "different."

Why is this a problem? Because they make her so unlikeable, such a frustrating antagonist, that whatever lesson she's supposed to be teaching? I don't want the characters to learn. Watching this season, I want them to defeat her using the same shady tactics they always have. Am I supposed to root for the idea that they'll learn better, and stop crossing lines? Because if so, they created a pretty terrible representative of that argument. And if I'm supposed to root for Faye being defeated so the firm can carry on being shady...then what's the point of any of this? Faye even demands that Harvey and Louis represent her and if they get her acquitted for wrongfully terminating Samantha (which she did) then she'll "consider her job done" and tell the Bar that the firm has passed the test. Like, oh my god. You are every bit as corrupt as Harvey. Just admit it. And in the end, Harvey has to leave the firm to make her go away, even though they've got her dead to rights and she just wont' accept it? Why does she have to accept it? They already won! I know it's what he wants, to go work with Mike...but still. Faye is an annoying character.

Other than the main storyline, Season 9 was pretty solid. I'm glad Mike came back, and I am so glad that it lasted more than just the one episode, that he was there for the finale. They managed to wrap it up rather decently. I am so glad Louis got to be a father, and bonus points for his daughter not being named for an existing character (I hate that trope and I was so expecting it from someone like Louis.) Harvey is at his most mature this season and I'm glad he gets to be happy with Donna, I'm glad they gave us a full season of the two of them without the drama, even though I stopped shipping them at around like, Season 5. (Donna going back to work for Harvey was just one reset button too many.) Louis leading the firm when all is said and done makes me happy, as does Katrina getting her name on the wall. I also appreciate the lampshading that holy shit, they need to stop changing the name of this place. The death of Lily was something I didn't see coming but damn did it hit me hard. That probably remains the greatest story this show ever told, that of Harvey and his mother.

[statusquoergo]

Harvey gets arrested! And might lose his license! And Samantha is working on something special! And Katrina wants in! And everyone’s up against Andrew Malik! Boy, that’s a lot of stuff, this is going to be one jam-packed episode!

I mean, yeah, it is, but we’ll get to that later.

Continuing our merry cavalcade of returning guest stars, Harvey arrives at his condo, bottle of wine in hand, to find Sean Cahill loitering out front, having been arrested by Andrew Malik for “[conspiring with Harvey] to swap Mike Ross for William Sutter.” He’s shown up now to “get their stories straight.” Harvey responds by…demanding that he’s now Sean’s attorney of record so that they “can talk about anything and it’s not admissible,” and Sean agrees despite the fact that the optics will be downright awful. And very suspicious. These guys are idiots.

Looks like this week’s spin of the Wheel of Exploitable Social Justice Issues landed on the #MeToo movement; Esther Litt, appearing for the first time since Season 5 (“Hitting Home” [s05e07]), with zero lead-in, interrupts Louis’s dictaphone rant about his and Sheila’s attempts to choose a baby name to ask Louis to help her tank a merger which is apparently “solid as a rock,” on account of the fact that the company her company is planning to merge with employs her former mentor, Paul Richmond, who sexually assaulted her fifteen years ago. She doesn’t want to go public with the accusation because “women who come forward get put through a meat grinder,” but she does want Louis to “make this deal go away.” Anyone want to put a bet down on Louis being able to keep his head and not out his sister to this piece of shit? I believe the odds in Vegas are sixty-five to one against.

Based on the fact that Harvey “[doesn’t] give a shit about wine,” Donna quickly deduces that something serious must have happened to hold him up; Harvey confesses that Malik is after Cahill for conspiring with Harvey, which Donna and Harvey both know perfectly well is bullshit because Malik doesn’t care about Cahill (and how dare anyone other than Harvey be the target of some pointless personal vendetta). Long story short, they’re both worried, but they don’t have any other choice than to trust Cahill, so that’s what they’re gonna do.

I’m starting to think Suits is pulling out its courtroom set at every possible opportunity in an effort to maintain its credibility as a legal drama, since ninety percent of the buffoonery that goes on at the firm itself is just everybody’s torrid social affairs occasionally gilded with the odd misuse of legal terminology. So here we are again in court for some distinctly not-a-trial activity as Malik argues that Harvey should be removed as Cahill’s attorney based on the fact that he’s the one Cahill allegedly conspired with, and they’re trying to use attorney-client privilege to get away with the crime.

Couple things; Malik’s case might’ve been strengthened by bringing up Aranson v. Schroeder, 671 A.2d 1023 (N.H. 1995), wherein a “malicious defense” liability was created for “counsel who engages in the fostering of an unfounded defense or pursues a defense for an improper purpose”; also I hate to break it to…all of them, but Harvey’s only been Cahill’s attorney for about a day, and the subject of their alleged conspiracy wasn’t regarding legal advice or representation, so it’s not covered by privilege.

Harvey asks how this is any different from a joint defense agreement, the answer being that a JDA refers to communications between a client and attorney being conveyed to another of that attorney’s clients, not communication between an attorney and one of his clients (even if the attorney is also his own client), but Malik instead accuses Harvey of setting the case up for a mistrial (how) so Harvey offers to resign if Malik wants to hand it over to someone else. Malik refuses to “[walk] away from a case [he’s] been building for eight months,” Harvey claims that Malik isn’t charging Harvey directly because it’ll look like a vendetta, and the judge interrupts their little cat fight to decide that Cahill’s willingness to waive his right to a mistrial grants him the “right to his counsel of choice,” because those things are related, and “[he wants] discovery documents in [Harvey’s] office in an hour,” so I guess one hour of Suits time equals six months in the real world, if any mathematicians in the audience want to do the calculations.

Louis shows up in Katrina’s office to make a delightful hypocrite of himself in light of this episode’s “women’s rights of autonomy” theme to declare that whatever she’s doing isn’t as important as what he needs her to do, although I guess it’s fine since she caves immediately? Anyway he shows her the terms of the merger and she reasons that the thirty percent premium (the what now?) means that the company must be covering for something, so all Louis needs to do to tank the deal is figure out what that is.

Surprise! Malik called Faye to get Harvey kicked off Cahill’s case. Harvey continues Louis’s beautifully unaware misogyny theme by telling Faye that she’s “not a real attorney” (uh, yeah, she absolutely is) and refusing to drop Cahill, which Faye counters by informing Harvey that she’ll represent Cahill instead (I told you she’s a real attorney) because Harvey’s involvement is a conflict of interest, which she knows for a fact because—wait for it—she read Malik’s affidavit from Kevin Miller “swearing that [Harvey] conspired with Sean Cahill to get Mike Ross out of prison.” Harvey blows her off by claiming that he has “actual work to do,” as though the affidavit doesn’t implicate Cahill exactly as much as it implicates Harvey, and at this point it’s really inarguable that Harvey deserves to be arrested for something, I don’t even particularly care what it is anymore. Maybe someone’ll frame him for murder, that’d be a fun change of pace.

So I hope no one took that bet that Louis would hold his tongue during his meeting with Richmond, because after a brief back-and-forth that ends with Richmond declaring that Esther’s company is his now, Louis absolutely loses it, yelling that Richmond is a “piece of shit” and that he knows what he did, threatening to “come right after [him]” if he doesn’t give up on the merger deal. Richmond basically admits to having assaulted Esther but says he’ll charge her with slander if Louis doesn’t drop the issue, and I know this isn’t Law & Order: SVU or anything, but seriously, this plotline is being handled with all the tact and deftness of a baked potato.

Reviewing the massive trove of documents they received during that magical one-hour discovery, Cahill makes what in hindsight is an excellent point when he asks if “Mike Ross [was] really dumb enough to straight up tell his cellmate what he did.” Harvey defends Mike by saying that they needed Kevin to trust them, and Cahill complains that if Kevin doesn’t recant, he’s going to “slap him with a parole violation and he’s going back to prison” (what?), although Harvey points out that would make Cahill guilty of witness tampering, so maybe let’s not. Alex, who’s helping them out because how’s he supposed to earn his pay this week if he’s not on camera, suggests using the power of the SEC to put pressure on Malik, because “this is a vendetta, and when it goes south, it’s gonna look as bad for Malik’s superiors as it does for him.” Assuming it does go south, of course, but I’ve certainly never accused any of these guys of any sort of modesty before and now seems a terrible time to start. Meanwhile Alex will keep investigating why Malik is doing all this now, being that “the Sutter case was in the public record and so was Mike’s release,” and that was like…three years ago. I think. Point is, it’s been awhile.

To answer Alex’s totally legitimate question about the suspicious timing of all this, Harvey arranges a meeting with Kevin Miller, who explains that he was given immunity (I guess for his nonexistent role in the conspiracy), contingent upon his not warning Harvey what Malik was up to, in exchange for his testimony, because “if [Malik] convicted Cahill and [Kevin and his wife Jill] didn’t cooperate, he’d void the deal [they] made, Jill would go to prison, and [Kevin would] go with her.”

Okay so first of all, this threat relies on Malik convicting Cahill, but without Kevin’s testimony, he basically has no case, so that means nothing. Second, if he’s talking about the immunity deal he offered at the start of that conversation, what the hell does he have to offer Kevin immunity for, and if he’s talking about the deal Harvey made with Cahill acting on behalf of the SEC, the SEC is definitely not under the purview of the judiciary of New York, so Malik really doesn’t have the authority to go around overturning it in the first place. And I mean I get Kevin not knowing that before he gave his testimony, but why wouldn’t Harvey mention it? Like, right now?

Then Kevin smugly confides that “[Malik has his] affidavit, but he doesn’t have proof,” referring to Harvey’s recording of Sutter, but, dude, an affidavit is proof. Either that, or Kevin committed perjury, in which case he’s probably going back to prison no matter what deal Malik does or doesn’t have the authority to overturn. The one useful hint Kevin has to offer is that whoever set Malik off on the warpath after all this time, it wasn’t Sutter, because Sutter died eight months ago, so I guess this wasn’t a total waste of time after all. The big problem now is that Malik couldn’t have gotten this information from anyone but Sutter, but there’s no record of them ever having spoken; never fear, though, because Donna’s on the case! Turns out the information was a deathbed confession to another inmate. But who?

Pause on that one while Esther rips into Louis for breaking his promise not to tell anyone about the assault. Louis wants her to go public, she doesn’t want to do that to her kids, there’s a lot of yelling, and she tells him to leave both her and the issue alone.

So who heard the deathbed confession? Returning guest star and resident creeper Charles Forstman! Forstman admits that he arranged all of this specifically to spite Harvey, of course, and refuses Harvey’s offer to maybe get Cahill to possibly cut his remaining sentence in half in exchange for giving up the goods because “the side [he’s] on is always gonna be the side that’s against [Harvey].” Side note, he is easily my favorite character in this episode, and this is very much my favorite scene.

Part II

[thegreenfairy13]

Dog Sitter Part 15 - Epilogue

A Gobblepot fanfic. When Oswald loses his dog Ed, Jim Gordon finds it and does an excellent job when it comes to taking care of the mobster’s furry friend. Read it on Ao3 here. Thank you @mexican-texican for the beta <3!

For a while, he and Jim work perfectly together. They’ve arrived in a safe little bubble where nothing hurts and nothing is real.  

Jim comes to the mansion almost every day, whether to play with the dogs or care for Martin. Some mornings they wake up entangled in each other's arms, feeling warm and safe before their days start anew. They don’t talk much about the past, ignore it as if it has almost never existed. Of course, it has led them to where they are now, but neither of them is willing to admit that.

Oswald pretends to still be a gangster, Jim pretends to still be an incorruptible cop while they take down the Penguin’s opponents one by one. They are playing house, acting as if they’re normal people, before turning around, gritting their teeth, and pulling their weapons.

Oswald isn’t delusional, knows their bubble will burst rather sooner than later but it’s nice for now. It’s nice coming home and finding Jim standing in his kitchen, arguing with Martin whether to remove the crust from the bread or not. At one point, he has simply moved in with them but they’d be both hard pressed to pinpoint when and how it exactly happened. Jim still keeps his apartment, though.

The gangster knows their arrangement won’t magically heal the cop’s depressions or lift the guilt from his shoulders; It’s simply a patch distracting them both from reality.

But for now, Jim has given in - entirely. He dove into their relationship with the same vigor he does anything and everything.

Once committed to Oswald, it seems there’s no turning back or any second thoughts on the cop’s part. He’s dedicated to the mobster and his little family as much as he’s dedicated to his job. The little kiss pressed to his temple every night right before he falls asleep is proof of that.

Maybe it is because Oswald has truly given him everything he always desired, right down to Gotham’s twisted version of a home complete with white picket fences and a son to care for. Never mind the fact the little boy in question is astonishingly well versed when it comes to guns and knives.

How shocked the Captain had been when first walking in on Oswald giving his kid a lesson on gun safety. But soon he had adapted to the facts, had taken the weapon from the child’s hands, and corrected his stance. Jim Gordon has fallen for a mobster and is too weak to fight it any longer.  

Oswald thinks their fairytale will end when the Gazette finds out about their affair. They depict Jim as the worst kind of hypocrite, the fallen hero-cop who would now team up with Gotham’s enemy number one.  

To his surprise, Jim merely shrugs it off. “I’ve been a monster in the eyes of the public before - and a saint,” he added. “Nothing new about that.”

At this point, Jim is already accustomed to his colleagues despising and even outright hating him. Of course, they make jokes about him, call him names for not only being with a man, but with the man he has hunted for so long. His quest to arrest Cobblepot had endangered the members of the GCPD more than once and now he openly shares a bed with the enemy? The sheer audacity! But in the end, the cops breathe a sigh of relief through their noses and thank whatever deity they believed in for the peace and quiet now blessing the precinct. They don’t know he and Jim are fighting their own, lonely war against the other criminals populating Gotham.

To the gangsters, the Penguin is a wizard, a being equipped with almost superhuman powers to get James Gordon to bend his knee and accept how the city is run. To the GCPD, James Gordon had finally seen the light.

It’s exactly that kind of credulity that makes their job somewhat manageable, and it reminds Oswald of his first years in Gotham. He’s back to doing what he’s best at: scheming and manipulating people, playing them like his personal puppets. Only one thing is different now, he’s got Jim Gordon watching his back. It makes him feel alive, powerful, giddy.

Yet their arrangement is bound to end, Oswald knows, and he dreads the day this false idyll will come crashing down and shatter his heart and soul. He’s absolutely certain that after everything he has done, being happy and in love will only be a fleeting experience, a footnote in his existence, a gift given to heighten the pain about to follow.

Still, he’ll enjoy each and every second right until the end, hoping he’ll be prepared when their final day together comes.

The end comes in the shape of Bruce Wayne.  

One day, the boy turns up on their doorstep, demanding to talk in private to the Captain of the GCPD. He isn’t afraid of either of them, knowing full well Gordon would never allow for the desperate orphan he once promised to find the murderer of his parents to get hurt.

Oswald knows the Wayne boy is here to pass his judgment, and unlike Harvey, who is too corrupted himself to properly speak up against their relationship, the boy is morally superior to them all. Bruce Wayne has come to take Gordon back home and fight crime properly, sincerely, and not by merely fooling the world.

The mobster turns on his heel, leaves them alone as requested, wondering how long it will take for Jim to storm upstairs, pack his bags and flee the mansion. It doesn’t take long, though. Only moments later, the Captain comes after him.

Jim unlaces his shoes and settles down on the bed beside him. They don’t talk, just lie close to each other like so many times since that day on the pier when Gordon finally decided to rather work with and not against Cobblepot. The cop takes the gangster’s hand, entwines their fingers and places the Penguin’s hand above his heart.

“Bruce Wayne believes I have broken my promise to protect Gotham.” In the stillness of the room, his voice is louder than an explosion and Oswald tenses beside him. Of course, the boy wouldn’t understand, but his verdict on Gordon is everything. Should Jim have lost the kid’s trust, chances are good he’ll turn his back on Oswald.  

“I told him you and I are now doing everything in our power to change this city,” he carries on. “I told him what you have given me. That day on the pier, when you demanded me to arrest those dealers, no blood was spilled, no one got injured and maybe hundreds were saved. I told him we didn’t stop there, that we carried on and on.”

“Isn’t that right, Oswald?” Jim turns onto his side, faces him as if seeing him for the first time. It’s different how he says his name now. It doesn’t any longer sound like an insult but like a prayer, an endearment, a love confession.

“It is,” Oswald confirms, slowly allowing himself to breathe again.

“We’re truly making a difference now,” he carries on, eyes still trained intently on his mobster. “And we’re not caring whether our reputation is about to get damaged in the process.”

At this point, Oswald isn’t certain Jim is talking to him or just reassuring himself he made the right decision but it doesn’t matter anyway.

“I told Bruce that we’re, despite everything, lost causes.” Jim snorts self-deprecatingly. “But at least we’ve admitted to being what we are. Maybe one day, he’ll become what I could have never been. The hero this city deserves and a symbol of hope. But as long as that doesn’t happen, we’ll protect Gotham as best as we can.”

Oswald hums in agreement. There’s nothing he can say. Not after he’s been so certain Bruce Wayne would set the cop’s head straight and drag him away from him, tossing him into solitude again in the process.  

Shifting closer, Jim’s fingers start dancing up and down Oswald’s spine. Those big blue eyes burnt their way into his soul the very first time they met. How could it happen that Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot has given a single human being so much power over him? Jim is counting each bone leading up to his head, cradling it carefully in his hands once he arrives.

They have both seen the malevolent darkness that is a part of each other’s being and somehow learned to live with it, accept it, even.

Jim pulls him into his arm, bestows a kind of safety upon him not even his mother was ever able to give him and closes his eyes as he presses a tender kiss against his mouth. This is what coming home means. All those years, Oswald had been missing exactly that . He can’t truly describe what that means. He simply feels like finally calming down, no longer longing or yearning for the missing piece of a puzzle. Thiswon’t be taken from him, not any more and finally, the Penguin is at ease.

For Oswald, it had always been Jim. Only Jim. Solely Jim.

“I never thanked you,” the cop breathes against his lips.

“What for?” he asks back, too distracted to figure out what his man might mean.

“For giving me back hope when I had none left.”

Whatever Oswald wants to say in response get swallowed by an insistent kiss as Jim rolls him unto his back and nimble fingers start undoing buttons.

Maybe he’ll never get a proper declaration of love, the mobster thinks, when reaching for his man in return. But then Jim had never been especially good with words either. He’s only good with actions and with pursuing his goals and never taking a step beside his chosen road.

Lucky for him, Jim has chosen him to be his fate now.  

[brattywriters-anonymous]

Spectacle III.2

Inspired by our favorite hip hop couple, Offset and Cardi.

I was arguing with my best friend about what he did on her rolling loud set. I’m just gonna write this with Erik x OC (Black! OC);

@chaneajoyyy @theunsweetenedtruth

Erik is a rapper as OC is a rising star. They recently married and his indiscretions have been publicly known via social media, Erik makes multiple attempts to make up for it.

June, 2018:

Erik Stevens, Stage Name: E. Kill. 31 years old. Married to Raelynn Stevens (Maiden, Johnson) They share one child, a 4 month-old Named Kire (Pronouced KYE-REE) Stephens.

Raelynn Stevens, Stage Name: Rae. 29 years old. Married to Erik Stevens. She and Erik share a daughter, 4 month-old Kire Stevens.

December 17, 2017

“I’m Dr. King. Great to finally meet you Raelynn and Erik. I’d like both of you to understand that therapy will either bring you closer together, or it will help you conclude that you’re not meant to be together. Either way, I am here to simply mediate. So where do you wanna start?”

E and Rae looked at each other, hesitant to speak. Dr. King giggles, “It’s normal to feel nervous at your first session. Let’s just start at the beginning. When did you two fall in love?”

April 7, 2015

Paramount Recording Studios

“Hey deej, can you run that back for me?”

The bass heavy beat played back

Yeah, Rarri swervin’ lane to lane

Name not Erika, I keep the Kane

Be careful speakin on my name

Me & Kill’s bitches ain’t the same

I’ll change the nigga whole life

On one knee not thinkin’ twice

Lay it on em real nice

Hella bad, I’m sorta like his vice

Deej, Rae’s in house producer stopped the beat as Erik walked in. They were working on Rae’s second mixtape and her collaboration with E. Kill was the last song she had to finish before submitting it.

“Well, about time you joined us E. I was beginning to think I was gonna have to find someone else to do the track with.” he scoffed and side eyed his co star, “Girl please, they can’t kill it like me!” She shot him the same side eye, knowing that his statement was a double entendre, “Deej, excuse us for a moment please?” She rose out of her swivel seat, “I need a 10 anyway. I gotta call my girl and let her know I’ma be late, again!” “I’m sorry girl, tell Nonnie I’m sorry!” She waved Rae off making her exit.

“Why are you late?” Erik looked up as if he was in deep thought, “If I recall correctly, I went out on a date with a lovely woman. You may know her, Raelynn? Yeah. She finally let me wine and dine her fine ass after three months of begging and pleading!” He tugged at Rae’s sweat strings until she closed their distance by the switchboard before he continued, “And after one too many glasses of Rose, Raelynn and I went back to my place and made love all..night..long.” Rae laughed at Erik’s silly rendition of humping his last three words. “She wore me out. I woke up about a hour ago.” Rae finally rested her arms on his chest, “Oh so I wear that ass out, huh?” “That, you do. Damn girl, what am I gon do witchu?” They rested their foreheads together, “I’m sure you’ll think of a thing or two.. or a few.”

Erik tilted Rae’s chin up and kissed her, slowly yet with intent. He reached in her pocket, “Call Deej. Tell her she can go home. I know she missin’ her wifey and I need some time with mine.” “Wait, but I’m not your wi--” “Shh. You don’t know what you are to me. I told you I love you last night. I meant that shit.” They stared at each other for a few minutes, for Rae memories shot through her body of the night before. How all of the rumors she heard about E being a rough and ruthless lover in bed fell through when he laid her down gently and stroked her body delicately, covering every inch of her body in kisses before doing so. His voice echoed in his brain, “I love you Rae.”

“Deej, hey. Take the night off. Yeah, we got it. We may even finish both of our verses tonight. I got the studio time, don’t worry about it. Thanks for the beat though. Yeah, come back tomorrow so we can mix and master it. Alright. Bye.”

They spent the first half on that night making love all over the studio. Tagging each area with their bodies, they fucked up all of the levels on the switchboard, they smeared the glass in the recording booth, they finally finished on the couch and love seat where he said it again, “I love you Rae” her storm washed over her hearing him say it exactly how he did the night before, “I love you too E!” He grinned at her, “I told you last night baby, call me N’jadaka.” Her body was still going into refractory when she asked,  “I thought your name was Erik?” He wiped the sweat off her brow, “It is. For people who don’t know me.” She held his body tightly and close, “Okay Rae bae, we been going for two hours! We gotta finish this song. When we get done, we can go again.”

Dr. King stared at the couple, talking hand in hand, “Wow. You two had a whirlwind kind of love. It happened sort of fast!” Rae nodded her head, holding her belly with her free hand, “Without that, we wouldn’t have her so, I don’t care how fast it happened.” Erik kissed her forehead, “Me either.” Dr King wrote in her pad, slightly grinning, “I think there’s some hope for you two..”

June, 2018

This is TMZ news, the show with the latest in celebrity news.

Just five months after reconciling, E. Kill was caught cheating.. once again. Text messages surfaced after a rap beef between two women, Kyleene and Jae Doe went south. One of Jae’s friends outed Kyleene and claimed that Ky and her now former friend Xena tried to set up a threesome with E. Kill. After Ky denied the allegations, Xena came forward and leaked screenshots of messages between E. Kill and her, as well as messages between her and Ky, trying to confirm dates for the meet up. Although Xena never confirmed if they met up or not, it’s clear that E was trying to set that up.

Just a couple of hours ago, Rae went on her live and set the record straight for her fans:

“Hey faves, how ya’ll doing out there? First and foremost I’d like to thank all of you for supporting me and my music.  (Pauses) I’m sorry if you all hear Kire in the background, she’s a baby so..you know she’s gonna be cooing and whatnot. Anyway, as all of you know, my relationship has been in the public eye for about 6 months now. I’ve played everything about it real close to the chest since we got together because I thought it was the only thing I should keep to myself. For the past 6 months, N-Erik and I have been trying to reconcile our marriage for the sake of Kire and the love our relationship was built on. But now, I just think it’s time for us to go our separate ways. My husband and I love each other so much and we’re family, always and forever, but I think this separation and ultimate divorce is what’s right for us. I just ask for the fans who love us, continue loving us, continue supporting us in our future endevors. Love ya’ll! Bye.”

After Rae’s statement she finally posted adorable 4 month old Kire Genevieve Stevens

The employees awed at Kire’s cute little face, “She looks like a baby doll! Aww! E and Rae did that! E may not be sh*t, but they did that!” Raquel Harper clutched her heart, marveling at the baby. Harvey Levin smiled at the screen displaying her picture, “She is adorable. Which leads the question to E, with a hardworking and fine young woman at home like Rae and an adorable baby to go home to, why go back to your old ways that almost lost you your wife, again? I don’t get it!” Van Lathan stood up from his desk, “I hope he gets Rae back man..” “You think he can, Van?” Van scratched his head, “I don’t know Harvey but if he can, I say he goes for it. He made a beautiful family I hope he doesn’t let Rae go because every guy’s gonna try to scoop that up. I’m team love and he really loves her.”

“Once again, our well wishes are with the Stevens’ family in this difficult time.”

July, 2018

New Orleans

Essence Music Festival

Rae was set to co-headline the Saturday night set at the Dome with Mary J. Blige, this was her first major headline at any music festival. The only time her and N’jadaka spoke was when he’d facetime, and that was barely speaking, she’d only say hello to make sure he was connected before panning the phone to Kire’s face to babble to her father. It had been like that for over a month. Rae was halfway through her set before her DJ stopped, she looked around, “DJ, What the fuck?” Next thing she knew, E came out with a huge bouquet of flowers and a Mic. 

Rae was fuming, and she couldn’t hide the look on her face. She was shaking her head before he could even get to her. By the time he did get to her, he looked confused, covering the mic, “Baby, I’m sorry! Just hear me out!” Rae responded, “No! I have a show to do! What are you doing?” “You not talking to me! What else was I supposed to do?” She folded her arms, completely mortified at his public display. He got on the mic, “Rae, I love you baby. I’m sorry!” He hands her the flowers she was still not on the mic, “How did you even get up here?” Shawna walked on stage and retrieved the flowers, “Shawna..” “I’m sorry love, he was desperate.”

--

Rae finished her set in a blast of applause, “Thank you NOLA! I LOVE YOU!” She rushed to her green room where her entire team met her with congratulations. When Erik entered the room, it went completely silent, “Ya’ll go out and enjoy Mary! Ya’ll are off for the rest of the weekend!” Her make up, hair and wardrobe team cheered as they exited the room. Leaving Rae with Erik and Kire. Erik remained at the door until the last person walked out. He locked the door behind them.

“Rae, I’m sorry baby.” “You’re sorry for what? Getting caught?” Erik strutted over to her vanity, “I’m sorry for entertaining them, for embarrassing you and betraying you again.” “N’jadaka, we were supposed to be working on us. What the fuck! Is this my fault? Is it because I’ve been working since I got cleared after the baby?” “No baby please don’t go thinking this is your fault. It’s all me. This industry is tempting as fuck bae. I’m turning down bitches from left to right. Kyleene slipped through the cracks, claiming she wanted to do a collaboration. I mean, maybe she really did.. I don’t know. We really didn’t talk much. Her friend got my number through her and told me that Ky wanted a threesome.. I didn’t go through with it but I shouldn’t have entertained it.” Rae held her index finger up to his face, “That’s the most honest thing you’ve said in a month-- You shouldn’t have. You’re supposed to be my husband. What happened to talking through our shit like we learned at the beginning of our relationship? Like we re learned in therapy?” He opened his mouth to speak, yet Rae continued.

“What happened to us maintaining our family front, for Kire.. For us?” “Rae I can count on my hand how many times I’ve seen you in the past four months since your six week check up after having Kire. Five. I get it baby, we’re artists. We have to work to get paid. We’ve both been busy since then. We both lost sight of that. I can take my accountability for it. I am here trying to salvage our relationship.” “No, you’re here because you wanted people to feel sorry for you.” “Rae that’s bullshit!” “NO, N’jadaka that’s real shit!” Their bickering match was interrupted by Kire crying at their outburst. Rae pushed Erik out of her way to pick up their child, “We’re not about to yell in front of my child--” “Our child, Rae.” Kire reached for her daddy, he grabbed her. “You right though. We’re not. But that’s BS, you know it. I went up on stage to publicly apologize because my shit came out publically.” Rae still marveled at Erik and Kire’s blooming relationship. She rubbed his face as he was poking his daughter’s belly tickling her, “N’jadaka, you wanna know why I really forgave you the last time?” “Why?” Rae puckered her lips to the side, “Because, you came to me. You didn’t respond to anyone asking you every question under the sun about what I was gonna do or even about when I beat your ass.” They both chuckled at the memory of her destroying half of their old home.

“Even that bad time of our relationship, our friendship. It was just us. What you did out there, was for you. You were seeking validation from me, after betraying my trust, again. Thinking that some flowers and another apology was gonna win me back. It’s not. Like I told you and Dr. King, I’m not tolerating disrespect. You’ve disrespected me yet again. I don’t know if I can recover from that. I damn sure don’t know if you’ll do it again.” “Baby, I’ll never dishonor you or Kire ever again. I swear. I’ll retire if I need to.” Rae giggled at the suggestion, “Nigga, you’ll still be E. Killapussy to these hoes. Retired or not. Them bitches don’t even know what the whole Kill is in your name.” “Nobody does baby, only you.” She rolled her eyes, “Yeah yeah. Whatever.” “Babe, let’s take some time off. Let’s just enjoy each other as a family.” Erik’s puppy dog eyes were just irresistible, “That’s a start, Stevens.” They spent the remainder of the concert in the green room cuddling and coddling with Kire more cordial than they’ve been since before Kire arrived.

-- 

I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO BLACK PANTHER/MCU NOR THEIR CHARACTERS BEING USED IN MY FICS!

ALSO, I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE BABY PICTURE! I USED IT STRICTLY FOR REFERENCE PURPOSES! 

[imkylotrash]

Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Requests: Reader and her friends do something stupid and reckless like exit the barrier and get drunk outside or go swimming in the river or anything kinda dangerous like that and then they get caught by Silva and he is angry. Anonymous And Could you do a of age student reader secretly dating silva oneshot where: instead of Bloom, its the reader that goes to Aster Dell with beatrix and learns what happened and confronts silva when they get captured on their way back?  Anonymous

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quuenofblacks @quarterback-5 @estelmei @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @artsyle​ @baueoud @glowingatdawn @shadowhuntyi 

A/N It’s currently 3:30 am and I’m trying to stay awake to watch the Oscars but I can very much feel that I’m getting older 😂👵🏻

“It was just a joy ride. Nothing to worry about,” you say making sure to keep your face neutral. You watch as they put the runic handcuffs on Beatrix trying not to vomit.

“Those are barbaric,” you burst out not understanding how they could treat a student like that no matter what they think she’s done. Saul pulls you aside in the middle of the drama giving him the perfect cover to talk to you on his own. 

“What happened?” You try to swallow but a lump in your throat is preventing you from doing anything other than keeping quiet. You stare right into his eyes with all the defiance you can muster. 

“I already told you it was a joy ride. You’re going to handcuff me to?” you ask holding out your arms. He pushes them away with a hushed “of course not!” but you don’t see the difference between you and Beatrix. 

“I’ll drive Y/N back,” Saul informs Dowling and you’re positive it’s because he’s thinking he can get you to talk once you’re alone but you clam up like a seashell refusing to say another word. 

“You have to talk to me. It’s better than Dowling searching through your mind,” Saul says appalling you further. He’d let Dowling tear through your mind just to find out what you and Beatrix talked about?

“Nice to know you’ll protect me,” you mumble picking at a thread in your shirt. You’re beyond upset that he so willingly allows Dowling to take this over and follow her around like a lost puppy. 

“I am trying to protect you. But I need you to help me if I’m going to succeed.” You don’t utter another word impatiently waiting for you to reach the school. Saul sighs knowing this isn’t the time to push you. But it’s the threat of everything that convinces you to join the party held by the students and a promise of alcohol. You sneak out as soon as Saul has dropped you off at your room. It’s just on the other side of the border which definitely should scare you considering the amount of problems there’s been with Burned Ones lately but several beers drown your worries. 

“You up for cliff jumping?” a random guy yells and it sounds like the perfect idea. It’s straight into a lake and the thrill of jumping is like nothing you can describe. It’s the part about breaking through the water surface and looking eyes with him immediately because how could you ever be close to him without noticing him? 

“Shit.” You turn sober in seconds watching him yell at the top of his lungs as everyone to go back to school. He keeps staring at you with fire in his eyes. Normally, you’d be sheepish but right now you’re staring back with as much fire as him. You’re not backing down on this one and he knows that too. He doesn’t speak as he leads you back to school but he keeps a very tight grip on your arm that kind of hurts but you refuse to let him know that. 

“What the hell were you thinking!” he yells once you’re finally back in private. But he hasn’t got a leg to stand on. You’re just as pissed as he is. 

“I’m not doing this. You want to talk then bring Dowling so she can go through my head.” The threat of her invasion of your mind is still living inside of you. She doesn’t stand a chance to enter your mind seeing as you’re a mind fairy yourself but even the idea of this invasion of privacy is enough to make you cry. You’re not the enemy. 

“You’re acting like a child,” he accuses you but you see the hurt in his eyes. 

“I’m acting like someone who just found out that their mentors are ruthless killers!” you yell. The cat is out the bag now. 

“What did you just say?” He deflates turning into a tiny man rather than the overpowering force of anger he was just seconds ago. 

“You heard me. Aster Dell. You killed all those people. And then you made a victory round,” you cry feeling the pain of losing the parents you never knew all over again. 

“We- I di- H-how do you know that?” he stammers already proving to you that Beatrix wasn’t lying. 

“Please, you have to believe me. I tried to stop it. Dowling and Harvey had no idea what they were doing. They thought...” You act as though you don’t care but you’re hanging on to every word he says. You want to believe that he’s telling the truth but how can you ever trust him again? 

“I killed my best friend in an attempt to stop Rosalind.” You could drop a needle and you’d hear it hit the floor in the silence that follows. Saul explains the fight between him and Andreas as he tried to stop it and you’re thinking just how sick he’d have to be to make this up. 

“I lost him that day and I’ve living with the guilt ever since. But I promise you, we didn’t kill them because we were careless or ruthless. Rosalind lied to us.” 

“Why weren’t you honest with me?” you whisper feeling torn between what story to believe. 

“I wasn’t exactly keen on reliving my worst moment in life. I had no idea you were one of the babies from Aster Dell. I swear on my life that I would’ve told you if I ever suspected even the slightest.” You want to believe him. Your heart is begging you to give in and believe his version because it’s a much better reality to live in than the one Beatrix has created.

“Let’s say I believe you. Where does that leave me? I’m nowhere closer to finding out who my parents were. Rosalind is the only one with the answers,” you argue. 

“I promise you, I will do whatever I can to help you find out the truth. I'll go talk to Farah right now and figure out how to proceed. I’ll go anywhere with you to find the truth,” he promises and you decide he’s being earnest. You know those beautiful eyes and you see nothing but the truth in them. 

“But in return, you have to promise me not to put yourself in danger like that. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt out there. The barrier is there to protect you,” he adds and you get him. It was stupid and impulsive to go out there. You’d been driven by anger and hurt when you decided to join that party. 

“Okay.” He’s standing in front of you as soon as he hears you agree. He cups your cheeks crashing his lips against yours. There’s no time to breath or think. You kiss him back feeling the events of today hit you like a ton of bricks. It’ll be a long walk to establish the trust between you and Saul but you know it’s possible. You believe him when he says they didn’t know but you hate that you had to find out this way. 

“No more secrets. Honesty is the key to get through this, okay?” you ask when you break apart at last. 

“No secrets.” He kisses you again. This time you believe him. 

[starkerdayss]

SHIPPING Q&A

Pick your top 10 ships without reading the questions. [or if you’re a one ship dedicated blog, feel free to answer all of them for just that one, or do all the ships from one fandom, this is just for fun]

Guys, these are not in any specific way. 

1. Starker

2. Destiel (Dean and Castiel from Supernatural)

3. Malec (Magnus and Alec from Shadow Hunters)

4. Stucky 

5. Delena (Damon and Elena from Vampire Diaries)

6. Drarry (Harry and Draco from Harry Potter) 

7. Marvey (Mike and Harvey from Suits)

8. Deckerstar (Lucifer Morningstar and Chloe Decker from Lucifer)

9. Coliver (Connor and Oliver from How to get away with murder)

10. Britin (Justin and Brian from Queer as Folk)

Now answer the questions fo your followers can learn a bit more about your ships

————————

Do you remember the episode/chapter/scene where you first started shipping 6? - [Drarry] - I think it was actually because I ended up reading a fanfiction about them where they had very filthy sex and after that I just couldn’t unsee it. Either book or movie, they’re just... together in my head lol. 

What’s your favourite fanfiction for 4? - [Stucky] - I can’t remember the name but it was one where Steve was a prince and he had a harem of sexual partners and Bucky was one but he had been sent as a spy for the bad guy and his name was Winter but obviously they end up falling in love and Winter tells everything to Steve and they end up together and the harem I think is disolved because Bucky’s the main bitch now. 

What’s your favourite fan art/picture for 2? - [Destiel] - God, there are just too many. Destiel is an incredibly famous ship and it has been going around for ten years now. I just- everything made for Destiel is my fav. Specially one where they draw them as two women, so they’re a lesbian couple. 

What’s your favourite headcanon for 1? - [Starker] - High School AU’s will always be the reason of my sluttyness. 

What do you like most about the dynamic between the people of 7? - [Marvey] - They complete each other because they’re complete opposites. I also like the fact that they not only protect each other, but leave aside their differences and their fights to go save the other if needed. Always have the other’s back, and Mike’s just a child that Harvey needs. Am I right, @infinity-worried

When 9 have sex is it more giggly or more serious? - [Coliver] - I think it goes on both ways. Connor is very serious and sexy, and then Oliver is very shy and giggly and probably self-consious and ashamed so they go from being blushy and cute to Connor pushing Oliver against the wall and telling him the games are over. 

Out of all the ships who do you think have the best chemistry? - I think probably Britin or Deckerstar. They’re both cannon as fuck, so their chemistry is very shown on TV. I don’t know, Britin has to be the very first ship I started shipping, and Deckerstar is one of the few straight ships that I’ve managed to follow. they’re cute help. 

Which ship has the strongest bond? - I’m pretty sure the answer to that is Malec. But beyond the sex, they’re just really bonded through magic and the entirety of their world. 

Which ship to you spend the most time reading fanfiction for/talking/writing about? - Starker and Britin. 

Which one was your first ship? - Britin, definitely. Probably started it out when I was 13. The show was only on YouTube, I remember everything perfectly. 

If 6 were to break up, how would it happen? - [Drarry] - It would be in the most childish way. Probably Draco would say something horrible and Harry would be done with his shit once and for all and he’d break up with him and then Draco would be following him everywhere because that boy’s pride left his natural body the moment Harry took his hand for the first time. His boyfriend is just way too valuable to be a dick about it. 

Between 3 and 8, who would last the longest if they were in a zombie apocalypse? - [Malec, Deckerstar] - I would put my hands in the fire for Deckerstar. I mean, Malec has magic, and Alec is a nephilim and Magnus a warlock, but... Lucifer is the devil. 

Does 7 hide their relationship, and if so, why? - [Marvey] - At first, yes. It starts off as a sexual thing and you know that you can’t be sleeping around with your boss, so it’s necessarily a secret, but then, they start falling in love with each other and Mike starts to believe that Harvey will never love him and he becomes distant and feels disposable and Harvey knows he has to put an end to it so he just... announces it to literally everybody. 

What is 9′s favourite date to go on? - [Coliver] - Probably really nerdy stuff. Connor has gone through some shit and one of the things that makes him the happiest in this world is seeing Oliver happy, and sci-fi makes Oli happy and probably just science fairs, really geeky movies and all. 

What’s your favourite canon moment between 10? - [Britin] - I mean. Fuck. Probably the first I love you, or when after the prom situation, Brian takes Justin to the scene of the crime to make him try to remember something of his abuser and he whispers (because he’s telling the story): “and that’s when I understood why they called you sunshine”)

What do 5 argue most about? - [Delena] - Damon has a real trouble being a good person (vampire?) and Elena is just- she has a good heart (that’s how the tv show makes it look anyway) and she struggles to mantain Damon as a caring individual. 

If you had to pick an OTP which would you chose? - Britin. Fuck, I hate myself for that because Starker is now my main on everything, but Britin is really special to me, and it opened the doors to the gay world in my eyes. That’s the first representation I was ever familiar with. 

What’s the biggest kink that 1 shares? - [Starker] - Femenization. God, Peter in a skirt, lashes, lipstick, high-thighs and heels? Fuck me the fuck up. 

Do 8 want children? - [Deckerstar] - I don’t know. Chloe already has a kid and she could potentially want another one but then again, Lucifer is the devil and I don’t think he’s allowed to have children with humans, especially considering the fact that they haven’t discussed Chloe dying (she’s mortal)

Between 10 and 4, which would you rather became canon? - [Britin and Stucky] - Britin is cannon, so please just give Stucky a go. 

Does 2 do much PDA? And does it annoy their friends? - [Destiel] - Not really, mostly because they don’t have time. Sometimes Castiel kisses Dean’s cheek or something and every once in a while Dean says some corny shit that he didn’t want to say but usually, they keep to themselves (or under the table), and no, it doesn’t bother Sam. Sam’s the biggest Destiel shipper among us. 

Which of the ships would you say is the most romantic with each other? - Deckerstar. Lucifer probably would do some hell things that nobody considers romantic mostly because they’re satanic, but the gesture is what counts. Plus, imagine Lucifer just bringing a vase of human eyes bc that’s romantic in hell and he’s with his grin... I would take it honestly. 

How would the proposal between 5 go? - [Delena] - I don’t think marriage is an option. They’re both inmortal (towards the end of the show) and they have all their lives. They don’t need a piece of paper that tells them how much their relationship is worth, specially if they’re going to trascend that. 

Who cooks more often in 3? - [Malec] - Magnus. Without a shadow of a doubt. He makes potions all the time, and Alec is always working on the institute. I think Magnus would be more than happy to cook (or summon) a meal for his boyfriend. 

——————

Now tag!!

@im-a-goner-foryou @insatiable-spider @starker1975 @starker-garbage @peterscherry @peterparkerisaslut-x

Consider yourself tagged if you want to do this! Also, sorry for the lenght of this. I got a bit carried away. 

[fadefromthelight]

chapter 2 - choking

Summary: Street Racing AU. Harvey will stop Julian’s winning streak through any means necessary.

Read on: Ao3

Julian leans against his car, a cigarette between his fingers. He doesn’t usually smoke them, having to quit quite brutally after Blaze caught him smoking after a track meet. It was by far one of the hardest things he’s done and he still feels that deep set ache in his bones. Hence, the single cigarette. 

He bought an entire pack but tossed all but one. He could’ve bummed one off one of the guys miller around a few hours ago, but that was part of the statement. He had enough self control to buy an entire pack but only smoke one of them. He doubts that Blaze would agree. But what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.

He flicks at the end, watching it glow in the night. Adrenaline hums in his veins, votiale and electric. He craves a race, one far less legitimate than what he does with Blaze on the track. The highways here are perfect, long straights and shallow curves with just enough of an angle to drift. He’s run it a few times, crushing the locals and looking for the elusive silver car. 

There are rumors of an unbeatable Mustang, despite it being a few years old. Julian hasn’t seen it or it’s driver before, he would’ve known who’s faster by now if he had, despite him driving the highway every day for the past week.

He’s garnered himself a reputation, one that he grins and sneers at. But he can’t argue against the truth in it. He’s looking to tear that silver Mustang from the pedestal it’s been placed on. And he’s mocked and ridiculed for using an overpowered car to do so, so be it. He rebuilt the Camaro from the ground up himself. 

He drops his cigarette to the ground at the sound of approaching cars. He grinds it out with the toes of his boot, watching the street with interest. A pair of headlights breach the darkness, followed by another two sets. 

Three cars pull up across from him, parking and cutting off their headlights. The small parking lot is plunged into darkness, with the exception of the lowlights Julian left on in his Camaro. It casts thin, light shadows along the asphalt.

From the first car, Harvey climbs out. Julian gives him a tight smile, sharpened by the glare sent his way. Julian has to admit that beating Harvey was far more pleasing than it should’ve been. 

“What are you doing here?” Harvey asks, his voice flat and bitter.

“Why are you asking me that?” Julian crosses his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes when Harvey takes a step forward. “I beat you. You don’t even have the right to tell me where I should or shouldn’t be.”

The muscles in Harvey’s jaw tighten and he grinds his teeth together. “That is my road. I have the right to tell you where you should be.”

Julian shrugs. “But it isn’t your road anymore, is it?”

Harvey pounces, grabbing onto the front of Julian’s shirt before he can stop him. “Listen here, you piece of shit. You might be new ‘round here, but you don’t get to go pretending you know how everything works.”

Julian wraps his hands around Harvey’s wrists, digging his nails into his skin. “I mean, there’s really only one rule. Be faster than everyone else.”

“It isn’t that simple.” Harvey grins, sharp and condescending, like he’s speaking to an ignorant child. “There are loyalties at play that I know you couldn’t understand.”

“Like what? That this is your course?” Julian can’t understand Harvey and his obsession with their little groups. So what a gang owns this road, why should that stop him from driving it? “That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

“Like how outsiders don’t get to challenge the Mustang.” Harvey narrows his eyes, tightening his grip on Julian’s shirt. “Don’t think I can’t figure out what you’re trying to do.”

Julian huffs. “I’m not going to let that stop me. I don’t care. I’m going to race that Mustang whether you want me to or not.”

“And that’s why I hate newbies.” Harvey shakes his head, like Julian’s some pitiful creature. “I’m always stuck teaching them.”

Harvey twists and throws Julian to the ground. Julian barely has enough time to twist around and catch himself, his hands scraping against the ground. He lashes out with his leg but meets empty air.

Pain explodes across his chest as the toe of Harvey’s boot connects with his ribs. He coughs, reaching to his waist with one hand. His hand brushes against the hilt of his gun but he can’t pull it from its holster.

Harvey presses his foot against Julian’s chest with just enough pressure to be a warning. “I wouldn’t grab that if I were you. A gunshot would draw far too much unwanted attention.”

Julian grits his teeth, frustration and anger curling in his stomach. One of the other men, who were previously watching the exchange, reaches down and removes Julian’s gun. “What should I do with it?”

Harvey gestures with one hand. “Just throw it over there. We’ll pick it up when we’re done.”

Julian winces as he hears the sound of the metal clattering against the concrete. It’s going to be scratched to hell after that. 

The other man holds Julians arms down while Harvey removes his foot. As much as Julian wants to, he doesn’t flail. He watches Harvey with a calculated gaze, knowing the other man thrives on any perceived vulnerability.

Harvey crouches on the ground, a knee pressed against either side of Julian’s chest. “Now I want you to listen closely. I’m only going to tell you this once. You listen to me.”

Julian sneers. “You’re insane.”

Harvey sighs. “This could’ve been so much easier.” The faux exasperation can’t hide the manic excitement in his voice.

He wraps his hands around Julian’s neck and starts squeezing.

Stars burst across Julian’s vision. He flails, digging his fingers into the asphalt. It hurts and he can’t breathe and he can’t do anything. 

He….he’s going to die here if Harvey doesn’t stop.

Seconds, or minutes, or hours later Harvey eases the pressure. He doesn’t remove his hands from Julian’s neck, his touch feather light. Julian coughs and it grates against his throat. 

“See, that’s why you need to listen.” Harvey runs his thumb against Julian’s neck, the movement tracing pain along his skin. “You’re only hurting yourself.”

“I….” Julian forces out, his voice strained and rough. “Don’t care.”

Harvey shrugs and looks at the man holding down Julian’s arms. He gives him one curt nod.

The man tightens his grip on Julian’s arm, his right one, the one that never healed right after the accident (how could he know about that?), and twists. Julian’s entire arm goes limp and pain shoots up to his shoulder.

He’s panting when the man releases his grip, and he doesn’t have to see it to know it’s at least bruised. If not broken.

Julian glares at Harvey. Harvey returns it with a flat look of his own. “So, are you ready to stop?”

“No.” Julian bites out. “Do your worst.”

Harvey shrugs like he wasn’t already planning on it. “Suit yourself.”

Julian grits his teeth and braces for what’s to come.

[bamby0304]

Season’s Special: Chapter 5

Summer: July

Summary: Life was simple. You worked at the local cafe, starting your days baking some pies before setting off to serve customers. Everything was routine, all year round. Nothing changed. As a creature of habit you were quite content living your life the way it was. But when a flannel wearing flirt walks into the cafe one morning you begin to wonder if maybe you’re missing something…

Over the next twelve months things start to change. Over four seasons your world is turned upside down… only question is, is it for better or for worse?

Masterlist

Warnings: Nope :):)

Bamby

A large bouquet of sunflowers were in your face, the yellow as cheerful as the person who’d bought the flowers.

“I saw these and thought of you.” Susie beamed.

Smiling lightly back at her, you took the flowers and headed over to place them in a vase on front counter. “Thank you. They’re lovely.”

The response was somewhat automatic. The flowers really were nice, but the reason why they’d been bought stung a little. You knew Susie only meant well, but the constant reminders of your rejection were seriously getting tiresome.

It had been weeks since you’d seen Dean. On the Saturday you’d had lunch with him the two of you had made plans to go out the following Friday. You’d gotten dressed up, making sure to look nice while also trying not to look like you’ve put so much effort in your appearance. You’d organised to have Tom stay behind at work, even though you usually worked Friday night. You’d worked up your courage and beat down your nerves. You’d been standing outside, ready and waiting… and waiting… and waiting…

When Dean was two hours late, you left.

The next day you got up early to bake whatever desserts were needed in the shop, and then you went straight back to your apartment. You’d stayed there all day, just in case he might show up at the store with some ridiculous excuse.

He never showed up.

Sunday rolled by, and nothing. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. A whole week and he hadn’t showed up. Then another week. And another. And another. Still, no sign of him.

At first, you’d been mad. How dare he flirt with you, agree to a date, stand you up, and not come by with a reason or apology.

Then you were worried. What if something had happened? What if he was hurt? Or sick? What if something was wrong with his brother? Or another family member? What if he was actually busy taking care of someone, and the whole time you’d been hating him?

Then you hurt. When he didn’t come by, not even for his usual coffees and pies, you couldn’t help but feel like it was all your fault. You scared him off. You came on too strong. You were too hard to get. You weren’t pretty enough. You worked too hard. No matter the reason, you were sure it was your fault.

Now? Now you were just trying to move on and get back to work.

But people weren’t making it easy. Tom would throw in some comment here and there about how you didn’t need ‘a guy like that douche’- his words, not yours. Susie was adamant that there were plenty of fish in the sea, and you’d find a good guy eventually. Even some customers were throwing in their two cents.

Mr Jeffers would ramble about how you deserved a gentleman, and how in his day ladies were treated with respect. Karen went on and on about how she’d be burnt plenty of times, which led to her turning away from dating and instead making a family of animals. Harvey had been offering to set you up with someone else, while constantly reminding you that you were a catch and Dean was missing out.

They all meant well, and you respected their opinions and loved their efforts at comforting you. But honestly, you just wanted to forget it all. You just wanted to get back to focusing on the store, and not fussing over some guy.

You were in the kitchen, making a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies. The day had gone by pretty smoothly. The afternoon rush had been and gone, leaving the store quieter than it had been in a few hours. Tom and Susie were still working, but with only a few customers the two moved at a leisurely pace, chatting away as they worked.

With the golden setting sun shining through the windows of the front room and into the kitchen, you couldn’t help but smile at the serenity of it all.

The sound of the bell on the front door ringing caught your attention, but you didn’t look up. Instead you focused on the task at hand, mixing the ingredients together in your large bowl. A moment later you heard Susie speak. But she didn’t use her usual friendly customer voice, instead she spoke with a cold and short tone.

“What do you want?”

Your head shot up out of shock. Dusting your hands off, you started around the corner, ready to scold Susie for being so rude. But as soon as you stepped out of the kitchen you came to a stop, your heart turning to ice as walls quickly built themselves inside you.

Dean looked away from Susie, his eyes turning to you. “I can explain.”

Taking a deep breath, you plastered on the biggest and fakest smile you could muster as you moved over to the dessert display. “Two coffees, a whole pie and a slice of the special. Right?”

“Please, just-”

“Susie, can you go make the coffees for me, please?” you asked, having cut Dean off.

She just nodded and walked off, shooting a glare in his direction on the way.

Dean opened his mouth to talk again, but you beat him to the punch. “Today we have rhubarb and raspberry, or apricot. Personally, I’d go with the apricot. It’s got a tang to it.” You smiled, reaching in to grab the pie without waiting for him to respond.

He sighed. “Y/N, please.”

Turning away, you moved to place the pie in a large box, and a slice of the special in a small one. Grabbing both boxes, you turned again, placing them on the counter by the till before running the numbers through.

Dean slid his money on the counter as you read the amount out. When you reached for the cash he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling back.

Your smile slipped as your eyes shot up to glare into his. “Let go.”

“Just, please.” He took a breath, desperate eyes holding yours. “Let me explain.”

Wrenching your hand from his, you grabbed the pies and pushed them towards him. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“You heard her,” Tom spoke up from where he now stood behind you, arms folded over his chest. “I think you should get going.”

Susie- who was beside Tom- reached over to place the coffees on the counter. “Have a lovely day,” she said, voice cold.

Pulling back from the counter, you turned on your heels and started for the kitchen. But Dean wasn’t letting it go. He wasn’t letting you go. Instead of leaving like he probably should have, he followed you, staying on the other side of the counter.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to stand you up. I wanted to call, but it’s not like we exchanged details or anything. And I would have come by earlier, but I’ve been busy. And I know that doesn’t make it okay, but you don’t understand.”

Coming to a stop in the door way of the kitchen, your back still too him, you took yet another deep breath before turning. “I don’t understand? You’re right, I don’t. I don’t understand how someone can spend months flirting with another human being, only to fall off the face off the Earth for five weeks. I don’t understand how someone could leave another person waiting for two hours. I don’t understand how that same person could think the excuse that they were ‘busy’ is good enough. And I certainly don’t understand why they’d think anything would warrant forgiveness.”

His mouth snapped shut as he watched the fire in your eyes grow.

Neither of you said another word as you both stood there, looking at each other. He knew no matter what he’d say you wouldn’t listen. You wouldn’t care. You were too hurt. Any chance of a friendship, or anything else, was long gone now. As far as you were concerned, he was just a faceless customer.

Giving a short nod, he walked over to the counter and grabbed this drinks and food before walking out the door, leaving without a word.

It was dark. You stepped out of the store and closed the door behind you, locking it up for the night. After having such a lovely afternoon you’d been left with chaos as soon as Dean left. Word had quickly spread around town, and within twenty minutes the whole town knew about the scene that had played out in your store.

Everyone had been concerned about you. People had come by just to make sure you were okay. Some brought flowers. Others offered to sit and talk. Hugs and smiles were given. There’d been so many people it was all a blur now.

Sighing, you turned on your heels, heading for the front door to the foyer of your apartment… only to come to a complete stop as you spotted a car parked across the street.

The car was beautiful. Black. Sleek. A classic. You’d seen it around town and had once asked Harvey about it, because it was so beautiful. He hadn’t known who owned it, but he could at least tell you what kind of car it was. A 1967 Chevy Impala.

Appreciating it from a distance, you’d never spotted a driver. You’d never seen a single person in the vehicle. But you could see them now.

“Seriously.” You shook you head, glaring at Dean as he leaned against the side of the car’s hood. “Can’t you take a hint?”

Pushing off the car, he crossed the road, not having to wait for any traffic because it was late enough that most of the town was already asleep. “I’m not the kind that gives up easily.”

“Clearly you are.” You shrugged, folding your hands across your chest. “With the way you stood me up you made it quite clearly how easily you give up.”

“It’s not like I had much of a choice,” he argued, coming to a stop a step or so away from you.

You had to crane you neck slightly to look up at him, but that didn’t make you feel smaller. In fact, it just made you feel angrier. “Right. Because you were busy,” you scoffed. “I’ve heard some pretty lame excuses in my day, but that has got to be the worst.”

“It’s true,” he insisted with a short and simple shrug.

“What could keep you so busy for five weeks that you couldn’t even come by to explain yourself?” you countered.

“Work,” was his simple answer.

You raised an unconvinced eyebrow. “Work?”

“Yes. Work.” He nodded. “My brother and I work together. It’s kinda hard to explain what we do, but we’re kinda like… bounty hunters. The job takes us all over the country. Sometimes we can be gone for days. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes months.”

At first you didn’t believe him. Bounty hunters? Come on. But the longer you looked him up and down, you couldn’t help but wonder.

He did look like a tough guy. You were sure he could handle himself in a fight. His car certainly made you think he might live an exciting life. It would explain why you didn’t see him as frequently as your other customers. Plus, you’d seen him wearing a few suits, which he might need if he had to be a witness at court or something…

“Bounty hunters?”

“I know it’s hard to believe, but yes.” He nodded again. “Bounty hunters.”

Giving him one more scrutinising look over, you contemplated the idea for a moment longer before eventually nodding yourself. “Fine. I’ll buy it.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, he relaxed a little. “So, you forgive me?”

“Not by a long shot.” You laughed shortly. “But I don’t hate you anymore.”

Slowly, the grin you hadn’t seen in so long made its way onto his lips. “I can work with that.”

Bamby

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[darveyfics]

Harvey finds Donna drunk and emotional at his apartment door when he comes back from work one night. Love your fics! xo

“Turning Back to Sad”

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine,You’ve ruined my life, by not being mine

Harvey shuffles his feet as he makes his way out of the elevator, head cast downward, counting his steps in a futile attempt to distract himself from his thoughts.

It had been a slow day at work, a rarity these days. He would’ve welcomed that some odd years ago, taking advantage of any moment he had to take a breather and enjoy the silence within the walls of the firm. He would’ve found himself in an extended bickering match with Donna, an already everyday occurrence, seeming just a tad more special for the mere fact they could exchange some shop talk. But this year….

He knows he’s screwed up… for an array of reasons. One whole week since she had kissed him and he doesn’t know what was worse- their moments of awkward and tense-filled silence, or the ones that ended with them arguing, spitting out words that cut just a little too deep. In today’s case, considering it was a slower one, he had barely seen her. Their eyes had met briefly walking down the halls of the soon to be Specter Litt a couple of times, but no words had been exchanged. They hadn’t needed to consult on any pressing matters, although the two had resorted to using Louis as a buffer lately- the other name partner knowing something had happened between them, yet uncharacteristically choosing not to question it.

No one knew what had happened, except maybe Rachel and Mike. Harvey had an inkling Donna had told her best friend and thus, had shared the news with her fiancé, but he couldn’t be sure. Mike had asked him if Donna had talked to him, causing Harvey to snap at him, telling him to mind your own goddamn business. Despite it, the younger man had informed Harvey that Donna had left for an early dinner with Rachel that day, after noticing the way Harvey looked wistfully at Donna’s empty office.

Now it was nearing eleven o’clock at night, and if at all possible, he felt even more like shit than he had when he woke up that morning. Dragging his feet the last couple of steps before reaching his door, he stops short when his eyes meet a pair of familiar black Louis Vuittons. He slowly scans over the long pair of legs attached to the heels, throat going dry when he sees the black dress he’d seen on her earlier that day, eyes finally landing on red hair and a look on her face that nearly makes his knees buckle.

“Donna.” He hates the way her name sounds foreign on his lips, noticing the way her tired eyes meet his in her current seated position, right outside his door.

“Har-vey.” She drawls out his name into two long syllables, almost like she’s testing out the word for the first time.

“What- what the hell are you doing here?” Harvey manages to ask despite his mind going completely blank in that moment.

Donna turns her head to the side, then the other, studying her surroundings for a while with furrowed eyebrows before she settles her eyes on his again. “I’m sitting down,” a low laugh escapes her before she scrunches up her nose, “you know, you walk kinda funny.”

Harvey’s forehead creases, a realization hitting him, “Are you drunk?”

“I’m-“ a hiccup escapes her, “possibly not sober.” She gives him a lazy smile.

Great. Of all the things Harvey expected to encounter when he woke up that morning- another fight with his former assistant making the top of that list- seeing said woman right in front of his door, drunk, didn’t even make the cut.

Harvey sighs, eyes closing momentarily to gather his thoughts, trying to fathom what the hell he was supposed to do in that moment.

“I thought- you were out with Rachel?” Harvey finally questions, wondering where her best friend currently was.

It takes Donna a moment to decipher his words, “I was.” she finally speaks, voice a tad less chipper than when he had first approached her.

“And she just- left you here?” He tries to understand the situation at hand, mind running a mile a minute. He knew Rachel wouldn’t leave her drunk friend alone, even if it was just outside of his apartment, and especially not if she knew what their current situation was. Not unless Rachel had been more or so equally intoxicated….

“I told her to leave me here, Harvey,” her eyes narrow at him, appearing darker suddenly in the dimly lit hallway, “besides,” she tries to stand up then, hands grasping at air as she fails to stand up, “why the hell do you care?” Her words start to slur as she stumbles when she reaches for the doorknob behind her. When her heels slip on the floor beneath her, making her lose her balance, Harvey is there in an instant, arms grabbing hold of her waist, steadying her against him.

“Let go of me!” Donna swats his hands away, stepping back from him as if suddenly caught on fire.

Harvey instantly feels a cold shock go through him, brows furrowed as he watches the woman he’s considered his best friend for over a decade look at him like a total stranger.

“Donna,” he tries to reach for her, hoping to steady her again, lest she fall.

She shakes her head, eyes reddening with the force of not letting herself cry. “Don’t,” she grits her teeth, “you don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?” He asks softly, concern written in his features as he watches her struggling.

“Don’t touch me, don’t act like you care when you don’t.” Donna spits out, eyes piercing straight through his, glossed over with unshed tears.

He swallows back a sharpened pain in the back of his throat. He’s never seen her this- broken. He’s seen her cry over the years, for different reasons, each time hurting him more than the last. And if there was one thing Harvey knew he couldn’t handle, was a crying Donna. It always broke him, but right now, seeing her like this, it was killing him.

“Donna, let’s get you inside.” He tries again, his voice somehow remaining steady against the rapid beating of his heart.

She snorts, the noise making him lose track of the situation again. “I almost went inside when I got here,” she takes a moment to steady her gaze on him, a sudden dizziness looming over her, “until I realized I didn’t have my- your- keys anymore because you gave them to her,” she lets out a dry laugh, “but I was the one to give them back to you first, so you know, maybe it is my fault.”

Harvey watches her in half curiosity and half horror, her words sinking in him. How could she possibly know that he had given her keys to Paula? She’s Donna, she knows everything, a little voice reminds him. But instead of addressing that, he decides to ask her about something that was now gnawing at him.

“What was your fault?” He asks her softly.

“Everything.” She laughs again, another hiccup following. Despite the few feet of distance that now separated them, he could smell the alcohol on her breath. He takes her in then, hair loose in messy waves, face flushed and eyes dilated with anger and adrenaline coursing through her.

“I mean, I just had to kiss you, didn’t I?” She shakes her head, “and you-” she pokes his chest with her index finger, “had to kiss me back, even though you said you didn’t feel anything, so, maybe I don’t know everything.”

Harvey watches her shrugging, a defeat in her demeanor as she stares at him with saddened eyes. A vile taste meets his tongue then, seeing her mental struggle behind dark hazel eyes.

“Donna, let’s go inside, we’ll talk about this in the morning, okay?” He tries again, voice low, hoping it would coax her into agreeing with him. Despite all their arguments in the last week, they hadn’t actually talked about everything that had happened. He had barked at her nine out of ten times, watching as she refused to back down and threw his words and actions back at him full throttle. They’d held a blame game that week, or more-so he had kept the blame going. Because that was somehow easier facing his own damn emotions.

She shakes her head again, slipping slightly as she takes another step back. “I screwed up, okay?” Her voice shakes when she speaks again, “I thought… God, I’m such an idiot!” She lets out a humorless laugh, “I though you could finally see what the hell it was that I wanted, that I wanted you.”

Harvey stays rooted to the spot, a piano sized weight on his shoulders numbing his entire body. He notices her eyes glazing more over time, swallowing back knives when she finally lets a few tears escape.

“I mean, maybe I wasn’t clear enough the first time, when I told you I wanted more,” her hand meets his doorknob, trying to remain balanced without any help from him, “but you missed the signal and then you went ahead and started fucking your therapist.”

“Donna,” In truth, he doesn’t know he can find the words in that moment, doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say when he can’t even mentally string along a good reason for anything he’s done in the last week, in the last couple of months. Plus, she’s drunk, he doesn’t doubt she means everything she’s saying, but he still feels like he’s witnessing something he shouldn’t.

“I wanted you to be happy,” she stands up straighter now, taking a moment to steady herself before walking two steps in his direction, “but I was selfish for once, Harvey, once in thirteen goddamn years and all I wanted was for you to be happy with me.”

His throat is completely dry now, continuously swallowing back the tears the threaten to overcome him. He nearly flinches when he feels her hands on him, palms flat against his suit- he wouldn’t have been surprised if she had slapped him across the face. It’s what you deserve, a little voice tells him.

Her eyes search his through her near blurred vision, her voice a mere whisper when she speaks. “I hate that I love you.”

He feels himself sinking then, deeper into the ground to the point he can no longer breathe. The only thing he can do is stare at her dumbly, a daze clouding his ability to speak, to think.

“I hate that I love you, because it hurts,” her hands grip the lapels of his coat, pulling him slightly toward her. It causes him to lose his footing and he holds onto her waist to steady himself.

Instead of flinching and backing up like she did earlier, Donna lets the rest of her tears fall, closing her eyes as the emotions start spilling out of her. “Goddamnit, Harvey. I fucking hate that I fell in love with you. I tried so damn hard not to, but you’re you,” she shoves her hands into his chest, the motion barely physically phasing him, considering her current state, “and I’m Donna, I’m supposed to know everything, so I should’ve know better,” her laugh is watery against him, trying her best to keep herself afloat, “I just- I thought maybe you could feel the same, for me, but now I know you don’t so,” she attempts to move then, pulling apart from him so she could head out. Her heel gets caught on the strap of her purse that’s on the floor, making her nearly fall.

His arms are around her in an instant again, holding up upright. It takes her less than a full second to shove him away again, the movements weak with the alcohol coursing through her bloodstream.

“Stop, stop it!” She yells at him, the words messy yet loud on her lips, “Stop touching me, stop looking at me, that way,” her eyes meet his for a split second, noticing how they’re wide with concern, “stop pretending you give a shit about me when you don’t.” Her face crumples completely, her shoves becoming weaker with each new sob that reverberates through her.

Harvey never loses his hold on her, keeping her upright with his hands on her arms. He feels like someone just ran him over with a steam roller, his chest tight with too many emotions- anger at himself being at the forefront.

“Donna,” her name is a plead and an apology all in one, voice hoarse with the tears he fails to keep at bay, “Donna, hey, hey,” he pulls her toward him, surprised when she stops fighting him and her head meets his chest on a loud sob, “Hey, it’s okay,” he tries to believe his own words when he voices them, yet knows it does nothing to dull her current pain.

“No, it’s not,” she cries back, hands fisting the material of his coat, her tears staining it in the process.

Harvey tries to breathe through the sharp pain currently piercing through his chest, right into his heart. He hasn’t had a panic attack in a while, and he thinks the only reason he’s not having one now is because there’s no way he can let go of Donna in that moment. So he bites through the the pain and holds her tighter against him, his left hand caught in her messy copper waves as he tries his to soothe her.

He was never good with words, not outside the courtroom or firm walls, at least. He doesn’t even think he’s ever held her like this before, his best friend, and he immediately feels a hundred times more guilty. He knows he screwed up, knows he told her things in the past week that he would much rather forget about. But he had just been so angry after she had kissed him… angry because he was confused. He had spent the better part of the last few months living in denial, and when she had kissed him, when he had kissed her back, reality had struck him hard and fast, making him lose conscious and sanity and any semblance of civility. Angry and hurtful words had left his lips, all directed at her,

“…turning me into a cheater…”

He didn’t know what the worst of it was, he just knows he won’t ever forget the look she had given him when he blamed her, practically throwing her under the bus in the presence of being forced to face the emotions and feelings he wasn’t anywhere near ready to confront. She had called him an asshole, a goddamn imbecile, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt those words ring true then they did in that very moment, with her body draped over him, sobs echoing through his ears in a way he doubts he will ever not let those sounds prevent him from sleeping again. It was all his goddamn fault.

“Donna,” he clears his throat when he hears the rasp in his voice, “hey, listen to me,” her sobs had only barely subsided, body shaking- or shivering- against him. It only makes him wrap his arms around her, a mere attempt to keep her warm and safe. “It is not your fault,” He doesn’t think now is the best time to tell her this, considering there’s a good chance she may not remember, but still, he tries because he can’t not tell her, “You did nothing wrong, okay? I’m the idiot here. I don’t- I don’t deserve you.” He whispers into her ear.

The tears he had been trying to hold back break free in an instant and he shuffles his feet just slightly, trying to gain any semblance of control.

“I fucked up, I royally screwed things up, and I am so so sorry.” Just as he was never good with words, Harvey was never good at apologies either. As soon as he utters the words against her, he knows they sound lame and flat, realizing that no matter how many times he may tell her, they won’t ever be enough.

He waits for a reaction from her, and when he doesn’t get one in return he shifts her body against him, immediately noticing how she was practically dead weight now.

“Donna?” His voice is all concern, eyes furrowed as worry seeps deeper into him. As carefully as he could in his position, he places his hand under her chin, turning her face toward him.

A sigh escapes his lips when he notices her eyes are closed. She fell asleep crying in his arms. He realizes the exhaustion from the day, along with God knows how many drinks of alcohol she consumed that night, had finally seeped deep enough into her.

He curses under his breath as he looks around, trying to form a feasible plan without jostling her too much.

“Donna? Donna, can you wake up for me?” When he gets no response he sighs, shifting her against him as best he could in order to fish out the keys from his pocket. He’s thankful that they were a mere two feet from his door, and it only takes him three attempts before he unlocks it.

“Okay, I know you’re probably going to want to murder me for this, but,” he sucks in some air before he uses all his strength to pick her up, his right arm finding their place under his knees as his other one supports her back. Her head automatically finds its place against his chest, mouth parted slightly, staining his coat with her red lipstick.

Ignoring the pain in his lower back, he guides her to his couch, carefully making sure she’s situation enough that she won’t be able to roll over and fall.

He heads back to the hallway outside his door in a flash, collecting her purse before returning inside. He sets the black Marni bag on the counter before making his way to her again.

“Shit, Donna.” His eyes skim over her pale form, cheeks stained with dry tears, hair mussed and slightly tangled. For as long as he’s known her, he always knew she was able to handle her liquor, could easily drink him under the table, so for her to be passed out drunk, he knows she must’ve consumed more than her usual fair share. The thought alone makes his knees nearly buckle in place, knowing she had to have been in a great deal of pain for it to get that bad.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he lifts her limp body again, settling her against him before heading into his bedroom. He navigates his way through the darkened room, depositing her on his unmade bed. She curls into his silk sheets on reflex, a low sigh leaving her lips. Careful not to disturb her, he removes her heels as carefully as possible, pulling up the sheet that had accumulated at the foot of his bed over her slim form.

He moves a strand of hair that had fallen on her face, locking it gently behind her ear in a slow caress.

“Why don’t you love me?” He nearly jumps out of his skin when she speaks suddenly, voice low and slurred, eyes still closed shut. “Why don’t you love me the way I love you?” Her last words are a mumble and he doesn’t know how he didn’t miss them.

Harvey finds himself frozen in place for what felt like the hundredth time that night, unable to gather oxygen into his lungs. He swallows back another giant lump that formed in the back of throat, taking a trembling hand to caress he cheek, absentmindedly wiping away her dried tears. “You have no idea, how much I do love you.” He whispers the words into the still of the night, watching as her body remains immobile and her breathing fully deepens, signaling that she finally succumbed to sleep.

Sighing, he hesitates for a split second before he places a lingering kiss on her cheek, tears immediately springing in his own eyes.

He steps back to watch her for a moment, taking in her slim form curled under his covers. He hates how fragile she looks, how upset and exhausted she appears. But more than anything, he hates that he’s the one who caused it.

Turning around with one last sigh, he exists his bedroom and heads to the living room, debating whether or not to pour himself a glass of something hard and numbing. He foregoes that decision to sit on the couch instead, knowing only one of them should be sober and attentive that night. Settling deeper into the furniture, he slips off his shoes and waits for sleep to come.

It never does.

The first thing Donna notices- feels- is the pounding in her head, something akin to a sledgehammer. She winces against the light that meets her suddenly through her still closed eyes, and curls deeper into the bed. She frowns when the soft cotton she expects to feel is softer under her hands. Silk. Her frown deepens when she tries to take a deep breath. This doesn’t smell like my room, this smells like- her eyes shoot open then, cringing when the sun’s rays protrude through the floor to ceiling windows and meets her.

She takes a moment to let the dizziness pass her as much as possible, allowing her eyes to adjust to the annoyingly bright room. It takes her less than a second for the realization to hit her in full, nausea bubbling into her at the same time. Hand covering her mouth, she rushes into his ensuite, falling to the cold tilled-floor before emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet at her feet.

Donna barely notices his presence then, voice dulled by her own wretching. She feels his hands gathering up her hair, pulling it back while he continues talking to her, trying to soothe her as best as he could.

When she feels like there’s nothing else to throw up, her stomach cramping in pain and throat burning, she settles back against his glass-enclosed shower, eyes closed and breathing heavy. She faintly hears the faucet in the background, his feet shuffling before settling near her again.

“Donna?” His voice makes her forehead knit in pain, the throbbing from her headache returning ten-fold, “Donna, how are you feeling?” She feels a cold cloth meet her skin then, gently wiping the area around her lips before he’s standing up again. He comes back with what feels like another wet cloth, this time it meets her forehead and and temple, “Hey, you in there?” He asks again.

She manages a low hum in response, her body feeling numb and clammy. She can’t remember the last time she felt like this, hungover and then some. A sudden memory of her late college years flashes before her, making her cringe again, the sensation of falling ill washing over her in waves.

“Are you going to be sick again?” Harvey asks her, touching her arm gently.

Donna only shakes her head, “‘m fine.” She mumbles, eyes finally opening to meet his.

He’s staring at her in a way she’s certain he can see right through her. His forehead is creased, brown eyes darker than usual as they bore into her own. “Do you need anything?” He asks her softly.

She shakes her head, “No, I-” Suddenly reality dawns on her, flashes from the night before falling in short and fast increments, worsening her headache.

“Shit.” She curses, standing up in a flash. The sudden move makes her vision swim, and he’s on her in a split second, hands shocking her when they touch her skin.

“Whoa, hey, slow down.” Harvey starts, making sure he has a good hold on her lest she stumble in place.

He tries to ignore the stabbing he feels when she shakes him off, moving swiftly past him. He’s more than a little surprised by her movements that it takes him a couple of seconds to move his own feet and follow her out.

“Donna, wait.” He yells after her, jogging the short distance to his living room.

He finds her looking around in confusion, eyes furrowed as she swivels her head around the room. “Where are my shoes?”

“Donna, can we talk-”

“Where are my shoes?” She all but barks out.

Harvey sighs, “They’re in my room, but-” He curses under his breath when she moves past him again, walking into his bedroom to gather her heels.

“Donna, we need to-”

“No we don’t.” She tells him in a voice too steady for seven in the morning with a hangover looming over her.

“The hell we don’t!” Her head shoots up at him at his raised voice, eyes wide when she sees his chest heaving.

“Harvey, don’t.” She seethes, voice dangerously low.

“Donna,” he begins quieter this time, “last night-”

“I was drunk, Harvey. I made a stupid decision, and wound up here, that’s it.” She bites out, eyes starting to gloss over with tears.

“So, you remember what happened?” He asks her calmly.

“And I’d much rather forget it ever did, so if you’ll just let me-” She moves to cross his path again, but he blocks her, anticipating her move this time around.

Donna closes her eyes, taking in a breath before she speaks, “Harvey, move.”

“No.” He stubbornly states.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because we need to talk!”

“Don’t you mean yell? Because that’s all you’ve been able to do the last week, so excuse me if I’m not in the mood to hear about how I screwed up your relationship-”

“Donna,”

“-and how I’m to blame for every damn thing in your life-“

“Donna-”

“-and how it’s all my goddamn fault that things got so messed up between us-”


“It’s not!”

His words are like ice water on her, hazel eyes widening in the process. If she didn’t already have a killer headache, one would’ve started to form in that moment.

“Harvey-“

“It’s all my own goddamn fault, okay? I screwed us up. Not you.” His eyes are like saucers as he stares at her, shock-faced and flushed with too many days without proper sleep. The last time she remembers him looking this distressed, Mike was going to prison and he was in her apartment throwing blame at himself for getting all of them in that situation.

“I never should’ve blamed you,” he continues, breathing through his words that bubble up in him in a way that makes it hard to properly breathe, “I- I fucked up, okay?”

There had been very few moments in her life where words failed her, and she was able to count them all in one hand. She quickly realizes she had to add this moment to her list.

“Things got- so messed up,” he shakes his head, staring into her shocked expression, “You showing up last night- it shouldn’t have come to that, I shouldn’t have needed to see you like that for me to realize what a goddamn idiot I’ve been. I treated my best friend like shit and I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for that.”

When she sees the tears in his eyes begin to fall, she closes her own as tightly as she could, trying to keep herself from breaking down in that moment. Before she opens them again, she hears his feet shuffling closer to her.

He’s a blurred image when her eyes meet his again. Blinking past the tears, she feels his hand tentatively reaching up to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, “I am so so sorry, Donna.”

She can only nod in response, not trusting herself to speak.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect us to be-” he swallows past a sob that accumulates in him, “to be anything more than- what we are now or to go back to the way we were, but I just need you to know,” he moves closer to her now, hands finding a place on her arms, holding her gaze to him, “I love you.”

Donna mentally curses the way her eyes well up more in that moment, the way her lips tremble merely at his words.

“Harvey, please-” she whispers, words shaky and broken.

“Just- hear me out, okay?” He waits for her to nod, before he continues, “I love you, completely.”

Her tears are free falling now, the saltiness meeting her lips in increments.

“I was too damn blind and scared to lose you, that I failed to realize that I already had. When you kissed me- I didn’t want to feel what I felt, because I was with someone else, and I kissed you back because I enjoyed it. I wanted more. I wanted everything with you, but I couldn’t because I was in a committed relationship and I vowed that I’d never be that person-”

“To cheat.” Donna finishes for him quietly, sniffling back.

Harvey shakes his head. “Truth is, I was cheating on you by being with her,” when she gives him a confused look he quickly explains, “You came to me, months ago, asking for more. I was confused and scared, I didn’t know whether that ‘more’ included me, and before I could grow a pair and ask you about it I-” she nods in understanding before he could finish his thought, “-and I tried to tell myself that it was right, she was right, but she wasn’t, none of it was. You were all I wanted, but I went to her because that was easier than facing the truth, than taking a risk with you because if I ever lost you…” he shakes his head again, the words trapped in his throat, “I took the feelings I had for you and transferred them onto her.” He finishes quietly, face full of shame.

“I don’t deserve you, Donna,” he repeats the words he told her last night, feeling the need to re-emphasize them, “You deserve someone who’s not blind to what he has right in front of him, who doesn’t blame you for their own shit, and who doesn’t take thirteen goddamn years to tell his best that he’s in love with her.” He waits to gauge her reaction, watching as she studies his every feature.

Finally, she takes a breath, giving him her best composed expression with fresh tears still on her cheeks. “You’re right,” she states simply, making his brow furrow in confusion, “you did wait too damn long,” she sees his face fall for a split second before she grabs hold of his now wrinkled dress shirt that he slept in, ironing out the creases in it, “You’re wrong about one thing, though,” she meets his eyes again, “you do deserve me.”

His lips thin then, a futile attempt to keep some of his emotions at bay. “I’m not so sure about that.” he tells her quietly.

“Listen, Specter, you are a goddamn idiot, and you did screw things up, a lot, and it’s going to take me possibly a hell of a long time before I can trust you won’t freak out on me, or us, but,” her face softens before she continues, “if you really mean what you said-”

“I do.” He tells her with all the confidence he could muster, moving his hands to her lower back, holding her closer against him.

Donna sighs, “Then- there may be hope for you yet, and you can realize you do deserve me. Because I sure as hell deserve to be with someone who loves me and makes me happier than anyone else could, and so help me God, but that person just so happens to be you.” She finishes with a raised eyebrow and a look that nearly makes him fall to his knees.

His lips twitch slightly at her words before sobering up again, “I really am sorry, Donna.”

She brings her hand up to his cheek, thumb caressing his skin gently, “I know you are.”

“Doesn’t feel like it’s enough.” He mumbles against her.

Donna hums response, eyes staring at his lips. “Maybe it’s not,” She meets his eyes again, “but it’s enough for now.”

A semi-awkward silence fills the room, each trying to simultaneously bask in the comfort of being this close to the other, trying to come up with the perfect set of words.

“So…” Harvey is the one to speak first, eyes darting between her own.

“So…” She echoes, head tilting to the side slightly, a twinkle in her eyes.

“Are you feeling any better?” He finally decides to go for a middle ground, plus he really was worried about her.

Realization dawns on her then and she scrunches up her face in disgust, head falling onto his chest with a groan. “I can’t believe I showed up drunk at your door last night.”

Harvey chuckles despite himself, hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. “That makes two of us.” He tells her softly.

Her head lifts from his chest then, weary eyes meeting his, “It wasn’t one of my finest moments.” She mumbles, a sudden shyness appearing on her face.

“Hey, you had every right to be upset with me.” He tells her gently.

“I know that, I just wish I didn’t have to spew all of my emotions with alcohol on my breath and an inevitable hangover to boot.” She rolls her eyes at herself, wincing when it only makes her headache throb even more.

“I hated seeing you that upset,” he whispers, guilt written all over his demeanor, “I never wanted- I just wasn’t thinking-”

“No, you really weren’t.” She agrees softly.

“I don’t know where we go from here.” His voice is all worry and fear, just low enough for her to hear in the short distance between them.

“We- take it one day at a time,” she shrugs with a shadow of a smile on her face.

“Do you think we could- I mean, I’m not expecting us to be- you know, right away, or maybe ever if you don’t think we can-”

“Harvey?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you quit the word vomit and just spit it out already?” She tells him with a half amused and half frustrated tilt to her voice.

He lets out a sigh, trying to gather his thoughts before he could speak again. “I want to be with you. I want us to be- an us.” His eyes search her face for a reaction, for any kind of answer he may find beneath dark hazel eyes.

She purses her lips, “You do, do you?”

Harvey nods, “I do.”

Donna debates making the situation harder on him, knowing how much he had screwed up, had hurt her in the past week. But in her heart of hearts, she knows he is sorry, knows that it took a hell of a lot of courage for him to confess what he did that morning. At this point, she’s too damn exhausted to fight through this anymore with him. And dammit, if he wanted to be with her when she wanted to be with him too- after a week’s worth of doubtful thoughts- she wasn’t going to torture herself as well.

“Well then, I think for the first time in a long ass time we may be on the same page, mister.” She mutters, nails slightly raking through his hair at the nape of his neck.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and she refrains from laughing at his reaction. “You’re- sure?”

“I’m sure that I love you,” her words melt him then, and she feels oddly pleased at the way she can affect him so damn much, “and I’m sure that I want to give this a try.”

His forehead meets her as a sigh escapes his lips, “I love you, in case I hadn’t already told you that.”

She softly chuckles, continuing her caress against him, “You did.”

His head lifts, eyes landing on her own to see them crinkling in the corners. He feels like he could die happily in that moment for making her smile for the first time in a too long of a time. He brings his hand up to her cheek, watching as her eyes drift softly in time with his caress, leaning into her slowly….

“Whoa, hold up.” He frowns when her hand meets his chest, eyes narrowed when he finds her giving him a scowl.

“What’s wrong?” He questions in concern.

“You are not kissing me right now.” Donna tells him firmly.

She almost laughs at the way he pouts, “Why the hell not?”

“I literally just threw up in your bathroom not a full five minutes ago, Harvey.” She scolds him.

His face lights up again, a slight humor in his features. “You can borrow one of my toothbrushes.”

She lifts a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.

“No, it’s new,” he quickly clarifies, “I just have about a couple dozen new toothbrushes.”

“For what? To have have them at the ready for your next conquest?” She quips at him.

Okay, he deserved that. Harvey sighs, “No, you’re the one who told me that I should change my toothbrush every three months the last time I had a cavity and complained-”

“Whined.” She corrects with a smirk.

“Okay, fine, whined, when I was in pain, so…”

“Well that’s- sweet, I think.” She muses.

“Really?”

“No, it’s weird.” She quirks at him.

He tilts his head at her tease, a smile widening when they ease back into that familiar rhythm of them. “Why don’t you go and make yourself at home, change if you want to get more comfortable, and I’ll go and make you a bonafide Harvey Specter hangover breakfast?” He softly suggests.

Donna bites her lip, eyes light as she stares at her- boyfriend? Yeah, that’s going to take a while to get used to.

A witty response is on the tip of her tongue when she notices the genuine look on his face- a mixture of pure unadulterated love and concern dripping in them.

“Okay.” She says instead, her smile widening when his face lights up.

“So, you’ll stay?”

She nods, her stomach fluttering at the hope and disbelief in his words, “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

His face can only soften then, bringing his lips down to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“I’m just going to-” he points in the direction of the kitchen, backing away from her slowly, a shy boyish grin on his lips.

Donna only nods in response, watching him disappearing into the living area in amusement, shaking her head before heading to the bathroom to bring some semblance of normality back in her morning. That is, if showering and brushing her teeth, and changing into his clothes is the new norm….

When she returns to the living room half an hour later- his shirt and sweatpants draped over her, body wash scent etched into her skin- she sees him flipping pancakes and scrambling some eggs.

And while the familiar aroma of coffee brewing is calling her name, one good look at the way his whole face lights up when he sees her, and she’s all but rushing to him, pulling his lips down to hers in a bruising kiss, the temptation of having him dulling the rest of her desires.

You make me so happy it turns back to sad,There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have,You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad