#or just random thoughts/questions anything rly

[ozlices]

i have a tummy ache i cannot be brave abt pls distract w asks 🥺

[dovveri]

in my head

synopsis: you're paired with your crush and resident popular girl on campus for a project for the rest of semester

warnings: maybe a swear word or two

w/c: 5.5k

a/n: I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE REQ IM SORRY TO THAT ANON who requested this and also sorry it took me so long to get around to this i just couldn't think of anything to write bcs i alr did the nerd momo x popular reader fic and i fear this trope is too overdone for sana so... there is nothing rly original here LOL i stroogled i lwk wish i did not fill this req bcs i hate this fic HAHHA i gotta learn to say no ><

༺☆༻

“alright class, pair projects for this semester will be randomly assigned.”

there are collective groans from around the room but you only pray that you get a partner who knows what they're doing. you didn't really have a problem doing group assignments all on your own, it was better quality that way anyway, but it'd be nice if someone else could contribute a little every once in a while.

"check your emails for who your partner is. please get acquainted and exchange contact details before next week."

everyone quickly pulls out their phones, laptops, or whatever device they use during class, you follow along, logging in and scrolling to find the correct email.

minatozaki sana.

before you can even conjure up the thought oh shit she's skipping up to your table with a bright smile.

"hi! y/n?"

you sputter, unable to look at her, choosing to fiddle with your screen and panic scroll through random weather predictions and calculator apps. yes, plural, apps.

she's hard to ignore though, bending down and tilting her head so you're forced to look at her. when she catches your eyes she smiles again, "we're working together on the project this semester."

"u-uh y-yeah i s-saw."

"mhmm. wanna exchange numbers now?"

"oh! right yes of course sorry." you fumble, handing your phone to sana. she giggles, taking it from your hand and replacing it with her phone.

"cute background."

"oh that's- i'm not-"

"it's okay y/n. i'm a closet glee fan too." she winks at you, handing back your phone with exceptional speed.

you curse under your breath, quickly typing your number in and handing her phone back, thinking about the brittana wallpaper you have set on your homescreen. why did you have to be such a nerd?

"thanks! i'll text you later and we can meet up sometime this week to talk about the project?"

"y-yep. that sounds g-good."

she smiles that bright, blinding smile again, turning with a flourish and skipping over to her friends.

you were so fucked.

༺☆༻

minatozaki sana was the most popular girl on campus. captain of the cheerleading team, notorious for her ditzy charm and line of admirers. girls like that weren't exactly the type to be top of the class or put much effort into their studies. they were already guaranteed shoo-ins at major marketing or HR firms that liked pretty faces to hike in business, if they weren't already signed to modelling or acting gigs that was.

it also didn't help that you were at the wee end of her long, long line of admirers. you hadn't intended to fall for her. you knew it was completely unrealistic, you'd bet she didn't even know your first name until she got paired with you. so you knew what you were getting into when you first started paying a little more attention to her in class, noticing small things about her like the way she'd scrunch her nose when she was confused or didn't know how to do a question, or the way every time she'd get even remotely excited her left foot would start tapping, like a puppy wagging it's tail when it gets excited. you couldn't help but notice these things and who could you blame? it was minatozaki sana, you certainly weren't the first to fall for her charms, just definitely the most unlikely to actually end up with her.

so it was fine that you were paired up. totally fine. you didn't mind putting in the extra academic work if it meant you didn't have to speak to sana or even mildly interact with her. you were fine doing everything on your own so that she, or god forbid, any of her popular clique would never be able find out about your embarrassingly impossible crush for sana.

santana💜: hi! is this y/n?

you blink down at your phone. this was not who you thought it was. there was no way.

y/n: who's this?

santana💜: im sana! i named myself santana in ur phone bcs of ur brittana wallpaper ;) yk... ur brittany bcs ur a secret genius and im santana bcs... well our names are kinda similar!

y/n: oh... haha right. yeah this is y/n

santana💜: would u be free to come over tmr? to get a headstart on the assignment? or i can go over to urs instead if u want :)

y/n: oh it's fine sana u don't have to pretend to do anything. idm doing the whole thing and submitting for both of us i won't tell the teacher dw

santana💜: what?! who do u think i am y/n?! im not just going to let u do the whole thing on ur own! come to mine 8pm tmr ok? i'll text u the address later

you stare down at your phone. okay so that plan wasn't going to work. you could be cool though. this would be fine. totally fine.

y/n: ok

༺☆༻

you knock on the door of the address sana gave you after her cheer practice. you had spent the past day overthinking exactly what was going to happen, whether or not sana really did want to contribute or if she was still just doing this for show. or if something even more sinister was planned, probably not by sana, but you'd seen some of the people she hung out with, you wouldn't put it past them to go back to their high school bully ways and pull a prank on a nerd like you, even at their adult age.

but when sana opens the door with a beam, her smile is bright and seems devoid of any hidden intentions. you honestly feel a little bad that you had doubted her when she's looking at you like that. but you remind yourself that sana was just that sweet of a person, she looked at everyone like that, you weren't special.

you cough awkwardly, offering a polite smile and stepping in.

"my housemates are out tonight so we have the whole place to ourselves."

"oh cool."

"do you want anything to drink?"

"just water would be great thanks."

"you can go ahead to my room. it's the second door on the right. the bathroom's right opposite it as well if you need to go or anything. i'll be with you in a sec." she smiles at you again, going off towards the kitchen to prepare some snacks and your water.

you tentatively step further into her home, feeling very out of place, but also curious at the pictures and trinkets everywhere, your first glance into sana’s real life.

you follow her directions, walking towards her room and stepping inside, not really surprised at the pink-tone hues that greet you.

sana’s room is cute. she has polaroids and film prints of her and various friends and family hung up next to her bed, a pinboard with small reminders decorated with stickers and more pictures, posters stuck up with and fairy lights strung across various surfaces.

“sorry it’s kinda messy. i haven’t cleaned in a little.”

you turn at the sound of her voice, suddenly finding her much less intimidating in her pink fluffy slippers, suddenly she just seemed like another girl, not the person on the pedestal that you, and most of the campus put her up to be.

you smile, genuinely this time albeit still a little awkward, “it’s fine. i don’t think it’s messy at all, i like it, it’s cute.”

“really? you don’t think it’s childish or anything?” sana pouts slightly as she settles a tray of snacks and water on the table next to her bed and then sits down, shuffling the various amount of japanese plush toys around.

“not at all.”

she grins then, gesturing for you to sit.

you follow suit, crossing your legs and sitting on the floor, taking out your laptop and papers from class. “so have you had a chance to read over the assignment brief yet? it’s okay if you haven’t, i was honestly surprised you asked to meet up so early, technically the only assignment for this week was to exchange contact details.”

sana slides down so she’s on the floor next to you, knees touching, you don’t see it because you’re focused on the fact that your skin was now touching and she was close enough for you to smell her designer perfume, but she pouts before speaking, “do you seriously think i’m just some slacker y/n? i asked to meet up because i wanted to get this assignment out of the way while it’s still early in the semester. before things get busy and we both get swamped with our other classes.”

“o-oh right i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to… well yeah anyway... so i was thinking-"

"you totally thought i was a slacker didn't you?" you can't ignore her when she peeks around to eye you.

"i- well-"

"it's okay. most people think we're all just bandwagoners and yeah i admit i know some of the people i may be... affiliated with are those types of people, but i'm here because i wanted an education and i'm serious about it. so don't try and do all the work on your own okay? we'll split it evenly."

you're more than embarrassed now. you had boxed sana into a stereotype that she was obviously aware of and actively against. “right i’m so sorry oh my god- i didn’t mean to- i-“

she laughs then, hitting your shoulder playfully, your skin burns at the contact, “it’s okay y/n! you’re adorable. thanks for wanting to do everything at first but i can handle my own and i won’t let you down!”

you blush, looking back down to your papers but comprehending none of the words on it. "right. i'm sorry again... and thank you." you manage to mumble out.

sana giggles internally, finding you very cute. and she loved cute things as evidenced all over her room.

༺☆༻

the following weeks you start spending a lot more time at sana's place, to the point where you've met all her roommates and their partners, and it doesn't feel weird for them to see you around the house. it was a pretty rigorous assignment and it involved a lot of hands-on research and time dedicated to it.

you're still complete strangers at school though, sana was still the popular it girl, always surrounded by groups of people, while you were the nerdy nobody.

so it definitely comes as a shock when sana slides into the seat across from you while you're eating your lunch peacefully alone in the cafeteria, mindlessly scrolling through tiktok.

your eyes almost bulge out of your head when you look up and see her bright smile, scrambling to make space for her and take your airpods out, almost knocking your juice popper off the side of the table in the panic.

"s-sana! what are you doing here?!" you're pulling the straps of your bag towards you so it's no longer occupying the table space opposite you, that obviously meant that spot was occupied, a cue sana chose to cheerily ignore.

"just saw you eating alone and wanted to join you!"

"o-oh. you don't have friends waiting for you?"

she shrugs, plucking a fry off your plate, "not really."

you shrink into your seat as you feel the eyes of the cafeteria land on you and sana, whispering and pointing at you. you’ve never wished more for the floor to swallow you up than in this moment.

“so i was thinking-“

“sana! what are you doing here?”

oh no. you did not need any more attention on you right now. least of all from park jihyo, student council president, and kim dahyun, student council treasurer, both of whom were on the same level of popularity as sana with just as many admirers.

jihyo slides in right next to you while talking across to sana, dahyun happily greeting sana and sliding in next to her with her lunch tray.

“jihyo! dahyunnie! i thought you both had a student council meeting right now?”

“got postponed. our secretary fell sick and we can’t proceed without her so we just decided to wait until she got better.”

they fall into easy conversation while you shrink even further into yourself, squeezing your arms into your sides so you’re not made known to the other two who still haven’t acknowledged your presence.

“ugh practice was such a drag today.” yoo jeongyeon slides in next to you, still in her lacrosse uniform, throwing an arm over your shoulders without seeming to realise who you were. you flinch at the action.

this was so not happening to you right now.

hirai momo slides in next to sana, eyes trained only on her tray as she mumbles a greeting with her mouth full with food already.

oh good lord what did you do to deserve this?

at least you’d met momo before since she was one of sana’s roommates but she still only really knew you as ‘sana’s project partner’. the others you’ve only seen from afar, and until now you were half-convinced they weren’t really real, too far up the social ladder to ever be associated with the likes of you. jeongyeon was the star lacrosse player and team captain of your school, which was renowned for it’s lacrosse team. hirai momo was apparently roped into playing lacrosse but really excelled in the world of dance. apparently she’d already had experience touring as backup dancers for major hit singers.

jihyo wrinkles her nose, speaking over you to jeongyeon, “yoo jeongyeon you stink. didn’t we allocate an extra $3000 to shower renovations last year? we did not do that so you could continue to sweat all over me.”

jeongyeon sticks her tongue out at jihyo, “i was hungry. besides i’m not sweating all over you. and you don’t mind do you- wait- who are you?”

your eyes widen when you realise jeongyeon’s now addressing you, and then suddenly the entire table’s eyes are on you.

you feel your face going bright red, coughing awkwardly and staring down at your plate of food. “u-um-“

“this is y/n! she’s my friend!”

you look up to see sana beaming at you.

“oh… how do you guys know each other?”

“we were paired together for that pair project i was talking about- you know for my class about sustainable engineering? momoring knows!”

momo grunts in acknowledgement, offering you a fleeting smile before returning back to her food, not entirely interested with this conversation.

“wait- how does momo know her and i don’t? momo spends all of her time in the dance studio, and if she’s not she’s only ever focused on food!”

“maybe you should be a better student council president and know all your students then hyo.”

im nayeon, co-head cheerleader along with sana, her title alone demonstrating her popularity status, teases jihyo with a grin, standing at the end of the table in her cheer uniform, commanding all attention from anyone who wasn’t already watching your table in curiosity.

“oh shut up nayeon.” but jihyo quickly turns to face you, offering a hand and a bright smile, “hi y/n! it’s nice to meet you! i hope we haven’t been giving you too much trouble.”

you quickly shake your head, taking her hand gingerly, surprised at the strong grip she has.

“momoring and nayeonnie have already met y/n because she’s been over at ours a lot to work on the project together.” sana perks up again, and then looks at you again, not that her eyes have really left you but you didn’t know that, “sorry for all this by the way. my friends are obviously people blind.”

“speak for yourself sana. the amount of times you’ve called out the wrong name in bed-“

sana flushes bright red, shooting up and slapping a hand over nayeon’s mouth while the others crack up in laughter.

"ignore her y/n. she doesn't mean that."

sana smiles through her teeth while nayeon makes muffled sounds of disagreement, and honestly it is a little funny so you can't help but laugh alongside them.

in the end, you don't mind too much that sana's friends invaded your lunch time. they were a lot less intimidating than you had thought they would be, similar to how you had judged sana prior to actually spending any time with her. it was still awkward to feel the eyes of jealous onlookers but sana stealing food off your plate every few minutes and making sure you were included in the conversation was enough to make you feel welcome and ignore those looks.

༺☆༻

"y/n! i got those projections we were talking about last week." sana bounds up to you outside your lecture hall.

"sana? how did you even know i had class at this time?"

"i asked around." she shrugs as if it wasn't a big deal for her to actively be looking for you and for her to know your schedule, "here- what do you think?" she hands over a few documents and you shuffle to the side so students can continue moving in and out. that also meant you were basically boxing yourself into the small corner next to the door with sana blocking your way out. you can feel a few weird glances look your way, wondering how you of all people knew one of the most popular girls on campus.

"it looks good sana."

"great! are we still on for tomorrow night? coach put nayeon and i in charge of practice this week but i may have bribed nayeon into running it herself so we can spend some more time on the project without her nosy self at home."

you nod, handing back her papers, "yeah, i'll be over around 6?"

"sounds good! see you then!" and then she's kissing your cheek and flying off before you can react, your hand coming up to touch where she had pecked you seconds after she's gone.

"-don't know what she sees in them."

"right- you think y/n's paying sana or something?"

"no way sana would do that though. i bet she's just using y/n for help with study or whatever."

"nah i've seen sana's marks, she doesn't need the extra help. maybe she's just toying with y/n. could be a dare or maybe she just has a nerd kink, or wants to try it out once and drop her."

"oh true hahaha i'd almost feel bad for y/n but it is pretty funny watching her prance around sana like she has a chance."

the sounds of laughter drift down the hallway as you stay rooted to the spot, completely invisible to the rest of the student body.

were they right? was sana just pulling you along? fuck you were so stupid. of course she knew you had a crush on her. everyone had a crush on her. you thought you knew sana but now you were starting to doubt your perceptions of her all over again. ugh you couldn't do this. you felt so embarrassed thinking about the amount of time you've spent with sana. all that for her to just be stringing you along, maybe even laughing behind your back with all her friends, you were so stupid for thinking you'd ever move out of your miserable social status. you were at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and she was at the top, it would always be that way, and people at the top don't want anything to do with people at the bottom unless it's for their own benefit or entertainment. sana was not an exception.

༺☆༻

santana💜: hey u still coming over? i maaaay have tried to cook dinner for us both even tho momo always warns me not to step foot in the kitchen and ig she was right this time... so i'll order takeaway? thai food okay?

santana💜: everything okay? sorry if thai food wasnt ur style >< i can order sth else instead but the foods getting cold :((

santana💜: im guessing ur not coming :( hope everythings okay w u!! ill see u at school soon 🥺

༺☆༻

you’ve been trying your best to avoid sana ever since you overheard what those people thought of your relationship with her. it was difficult when she would send you daily texts asking where you were and how you’ve been, even i miss you texts with the little sad face emoticon that had your fingers aching to text her back but you resisted. this was for the best.

but of course as soon as you started avoiding her you also started seeing her around campus a lot more than you used to. she’d pop up everywhere you were, at the library, in the hallways, on the fields, you’d always manage to shy away from her gaze but you don’t think she was doing this on purpose. maybe it was just the fact that because you were avoiding her, you were a lot more noticeable of her presence.

it was hard to keep this up though, especially when the time of the week came that you shared the class you had been assigned project partners in. you had seriously considered faking sick when you woke up in the morning, thinking she could manage class on her own and you’d just email her your parts of the assignment or something. but you got out of bed reluctantly and trudged to class, coming up with as many excuses as possible for having not responded to any of her messages and ditching your last meetup.

you sigh in relief when you walk into class and see that people are still milling about, slowly trickling in, and sana’s seat is still empty. you slink to the back of the classroom, pulling your hood up and turning on your laptop to tap mindlessly at the keyboard, hiding your face behind the screen.

you can hear when the class starts filling up, sliding down further in your chair and avoiding eye contact with everyone.

you can also hear the moment sana walks in, flanked by her friends with that high-pitched laugh and sunshine energy, the class suddenly seems twice as bright as it was. god you missed her. and that was pathetic of you! she didn’t even care about you! you stay resolute in your avoidance, only allowing yourself a second to bask in her voice before closing yourself off again from the outside world.

it’s only when the teacher walks in and starts reading the roll, that you have to squeak out a small ‘here’ when they read out your name. you avoid her gaze when you speak up but you can see in the corner of your eye, sana whips her head around and stares at you with wide eyes, her mouth open in surprise. you shrink back down but she continues to stare at you for a few more seconds before frowning and facing back forward when her name is called out.

you spend the rest of class hiding behind the screen of your laptop, formulating a plan on the fastest way to get out of class once it's over so you don't have to talk to sana.

unfortunately, the teacher seems to have taken notice of your lack of participation, when usually you're the only one in the class who is able to answer their questions, or even mildly paying attention, so you're pulled back when you try to escape, the rest of the class chattering excitedly while leaving class.

"what's wrong y/n?"

"nothing. sorry, just not feeling the best today."

the teacher eyes you, "is the pair project going alright? you didn't sit with sana today."

you gulp, "it's fine."

"are you sure? if sana's making you do all the work you'll tell me won't you?"

your eyes widen, "no! no sana's a sweetheart she-" you catch yourself, sana wouldn't really be a sweetheart if she was playing with you would she? "she's been great, she's contributing and pulling all of her own weight and more. to be honest... i'm probably the one who's not doing my part right now..."

the teacher hums, "alright y/n. let me know if there's anything i can do for you. go home and rest."

you nod, adjusting the straps of your backpack and trudging outside.

only to find sana waiting outside the classroom with her arms crossed, tapping her foot in the way she does when she gets annoyed.

as soon as your outside she doesn't spare you a second glance, grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the closest empty classroom and closing the door behind the both of you, standing against it so you have no way of escaping.

"wh- sana! sana what are you doing? i have class!"

"no you don't. the only class you have on wednesdays is the one we share. after that you normally go home or to the library before getting dinner outside."

"what- how do you- have you been stalking me?"

she frowns, "have you been avoiding me?"

"i- what makes you think that?"

"you didn't come last week. and you haven't been answering any of my messages. and i'm not stalking you i just thought we were friends and i like to know my friends' schedules, so when you didn't turn up to any of your usual study spots...i got worried. i thought you were sick or something. but then i saw you at the dessert shop outside the council centre where i volunteer and you didn't look sick at all. in fact, as soon as you saw me you were healthy enough to run off."

you gulp nervously, stepping back, only for sana to step forward. your eyes flit around, looking for any possible exit or distraction, anything would be better than confronting sana right now.

"i just- um- i-"

sana pouts, "did i do something? you'd tell me if i did right?"

"no! you didn't do anything. i just- um-"

she raises an eyebrow. you fiddle with your fingers, unable to look her in the eye.

"w-what do you want with me?"

sana doesn't seem to expect this answer. "what do you mean?"

you sigh in frustration, running a hand through your hair, "it doesn't make sense. why would you want to be friends with me? you're popular and smart and beautiful and you don't hang out with people like me."

"is that what this is about?"

"no- well- yes- i overheard the other day, some people talking about how you were only using me or that you didn't have good intentions with me and i just- i didn't know what to do."

"and what do you think?"

you look up at her then, her gaze is steely, there's no hint of her usual smile. "w-what?"

"is that what you think of me? that that's the kind of person i am? that i'd do that to someone?"

you're taken aback, "i- n-no! i-"

"then why did you listen to them? you're not stupid y/n i know you can form your own opinions on people. you're not like the others, or at least i thought you weren't. i didn't think you'd judge people off of what you've heard about them, i thought we were friends y/n."

"i didn't i- we are- i just-"

you take another step back, needing to create distance between the two of you, needing to think without sana's presence making your head all muddy. but with each step back you take, sana takes one forward.

"was there something else? were you looking for a reason to avoid me?"

another step back, another step forward.

"no! i- i didn't-"

"tell me the truth? please?" you're backed into the wall, nowhere left to go, and sana only steps closer. you can feel your heart rate picking up at her proximity, she's looking up at you, puppy eyes and a pout on her lips, you were so weak.

"n-no i don't- there's nothing else-"

"hmm." she's so close you can see the way her eyelashes flutter when she blinks, can feel her breath on your lips.

you can feel how hot your cheeks are, sweat collecting in your clenched fists. she's studying you, eyes flicking over your face, when your tongue pokes out to wet your lips, purely out of habit and stress, her eyes dart down and watch the movement, snapping back up to your eyes once you were done.

and then suddenly, she blinks and there's a change in the atmosphere. there's a curl of her lips, her eyes conveying something you can't quite decipher.

"do you... like me y/n?"

you blush impossibly brighter, "i-i- well- i-"

then her lips are on yours, just the barest brush of her skin against yours, like a sigh against your lips, but when she pulls away, she doesn't go far, her lips still hovering over yours, looking up at you through her eyelashes.

"it's okay if you do."

you're completely dumbstruck, hand twitching, wanting to reach up and feel your lips, to see if this was really happening.

"because i'd be lying if i said i didn't find you attractive."

your mind goes blank, struggling to catch up. "w-what?"

"i don't kiss just anyone. nayeon may have made that comment about how many people i bring home but none of them compare to you. you're different. you don't want me just because i'm pretty and easy."

"i- i-"

she leans in, pecking you softly again, before leaning back fully to give you space, turning on her heel. "think about it y/n. once you have an answer, stop avoiding me. you know where to find me." and then she's stepping outside the classroom, and you feel like you can finally breathe again, letting your brain catch up to what your body just experienced.

༺☆༻

it takes you a few days to fully come to your senses.

sana stops actively searching for you, but you still see her around campus, only she seems to have decided to give you space, not acknowledging you if you saw her in public or walked past her.

so sana obviously knew you liked her. it just didn't make sense that she could like you too. you took days trying to find any way this could've happened, tracing over every interaction you've had with her in your head over and over, trying to find any clues for her feelings towards you.

it crossed your mind briefly that this was another one of her possible ploys to embarrass you. but she was right when she confronted you, you didn't think she was that kind of person, and none of her actions or the time you've spent with her indicated that she was that kind of person, you needed to trust your own eyes and feelings, sana was being genuine.

it just baffled you how this was possibly genuine, how it was possible for sana to like someone like you. and the only way you'd be able to find out was to talk to her.

you inhale, standing outside sana's apartment. you knew momo had dance practice at this time and nayeon had told you she wouldn't be home because she was meeting up with some friends, so it would just be sana at home.

you knock tentatively, stepping back and collecting your thoughts.

it doesn't help though, because when the door opens, all comprehendible thoughts fly out of your mind, replaced with the mental energy required to memorise sana, her hair up in a messy bun, oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, large glasses on, looking like she just woke up from a nap.

sana's eyes brighten when they see you, leaning against her doorframe and raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"h-hi sana."

"hey yourself. what are you doing here?"

you take a deep breath. you had prepared for this. "why do you like me?" well that was not what you had prepared.

sana smiles amusedly, "i told you. i like that you see me for who i am rather than who i present myself to be. i think you're very cute, you get along well with my friends, you're incredibly smart, and even though you think a little too much over what other people say, we can work on that."

your eyes widen at her answer.

"it's simple y/n. do you want to be with me or not? don't overthink it. we can work out any issues that come up overtime."

"i..." you look down to your feet, blushing, then looking back up to her, "yes. i do want to be with you."

sana grins then, not missing a beat, swooping in and kissing you gently, tasting of berries and sunshine. when she breaks apart, finally welcoming you into her apartment, she teases, "i finished our project by the way. you owe me. but i'll accept kisses as payment."

you whine, finally letting yourself be free around her, no longer hesitating to do what you've wanted to this entire semester, bring her up into a kiss that hopefully makes up for the utter loser you've been in her presence.

[plaidos]

can I ask advice? my friend recently came out to me as a trans girl, but she’s having a really hard time. apart from the everything about being a trans woman in the world, she’s been treated horribly already as a traumatized autistic “boy” and there aren’t any other transfems around us, the only other trans person we know is me and im more or less theyfab. so here’s the question: I know she really wants to make friends as herself, especially with other transfems, and get into a community, but she’s terrified and depression fatigued and doesn’t feel like she’s really worth it bc she’s pre transition. is it inappropriate for me to look for/contact transfem support groups or discords? im not gonna push her into anything but she does very well with more information and if it’s not rude or invasive, I thought I might just ask in a few transfem spaces or contact the mods and sort of what goes on and what they’re about, see if they have any other recs for newly hatched chicks if they’re more insular. and then just like. Send her the rundowns so she’s not going in blind. I don’t want to push and I don’t want to get in random online trans women’s business asking stupid questions. but I also know that even tho we’re friends I don’t quite Get It or Know Stuff and I cant rly be everything she needs nd deserves with this. and after all she’s been through I don’t blame her for being scared to reach out. Also if you have suggestions pls pls pls. Thank u

it is not inappropriate for you to look for/contact transfem support groups or discords!!! well some of the discords might be weird about it because discords are often run weird but that's just a discord thing.

better yet -- you could look for local events and take her! dont feel like you cant go because youre not transfem, if you're taking a trans girl to a transfem event, unless it's for us "only" then you're allowed/encouraged to come with. she'll feel less anxious with a trans friend who will have her back!!

i think this is the biggest advice i have for TME trans people/cis queer people in supporting trans girls -- go with her. be her friend. stand up for her! trans girls are so denied from everything that even when we're explicitly allowed, we function like vampires. you need to offer us a space, and you might need to physically take her to events in/around your area if you can find anything at all -- even if you have to travel

[jinxini]

thoughts while watching episode 2! ☆

summary: necessary amount of love for jinx, unnecessary amount of child hate lmao

oh my baby girl i love u it's ok don't be sad please

jinx focused episode let's gooo

me: omg was that a flash of powder?!

*rewinds*

me: ...who the fuck is that.

me: oh no. oh no. this kid is important enough to make it to the intro, jinx is going to take care of this child isn't she. that sure is... a choice

oh no the kid is here

ugh for me personally the only thing worse they could have done is make her pregnant or have a baby. i hate storylines like this im so sorry. it's different when the parent-child relationship is like the main focus or the premise of the show/movie (the mandalorian, the last of us, the walking dead game, silco taking care of powder who's the main character), but when a random ass child shows up years late to the party and needs someone to take care of them and the child character has no previous connection to the audience... i really dislike that in stories im so sorry. leave jinx alone

also, in what world is jinx ready to be a mother figure to anyone lmao she's very much stuck in a child-like state herself half the time. this is not what she needs, we both deserve better

i like the child's design though

honestly, i hope arcane makes me take all that i just said back, but we'll see

jinx i love you

her voice is so good, the voice acting is sooo good oh my god

does she kinda have a different vibe or is it just me?

honestly thought she would be doing a lot worse than she is. good for her!

don't get me wrong, i get that from the orphan's point of view jinx just saved her life and she's clearly super strong, what else is she supposed to do than follow

what i'm saying is that i personally do not want jinx to take care of a child right now. i want this to be about the sisters. the fact that i don't like this is on me, the writers can obviously do whatever they want with their story buuut.....

sevika<3

can't wait for her and jinx to team up

wait does sevika even know that jinx was the one who killed silco?

i don't know what's going on with viktor and whatever he's saying here is not helping

did she though?

everything viktor does now is so slow. the way he speaks, the way he moves...

im not a jayvik girlie but i imagine that those who are felt rly sad after this scene

ekko my boy! the biker mouse from mars can speak?

my brother: he really does look like one

i literally facepalmed and my brother groaned

ekko please ditch this creature you're better on your own

shut up. you're not cute, you're not funny.

i should probably clarify that heimer is my least favourite character in the show, i kinda have no patience for anything he does 😂

i literally said DO IT JAYCE out loud

this made me laugh

same, ekko, same.

can we talk about the way he's holding the cup lol

it's also kinda funny and kinda sad at the same time that this is probably his first time tasting tea

SHUT UUUUPPPP

i screamed

vi? nooo, what the hell 😫 i thought it was the bad guys after her but no it's VI? don't hurt jinx like this, don't hurt me like this

the animation is making me feel like i'm the one who can't breathe damn

hasn't my girl been through enough?? stooooppp

this looked really cool though

there's no way those were the only two times he saw her cry

also, she's insane, blinking and getting even closer. i am obsessed with her

YESSSHHHH

after getting her ass kicked by vi and jinx repeatedly in season 1, i have a feeling this is a battle she's finally going to win 😆

the whole-body movement she did here, so cute, i love her so much 😭

GET JINXED OMG!!!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙

holy shit you can always trust arcane with fight scenes

my brother: no one does fight scenes better than arcane.

me: i know right?! that was so good! best scene in season 2 so far!

brother: yep.

oh wow ok. girl, 1st of all, ew. 2nd of all, that thing was like 80% machine what was there left for you to eat? 3rd of all... this begs the question, what do these people eat, exactly? do they draw the line at cannibalism but everyone else is fair game? huh.

i doubt the people in piltover eat like this

no, let's not do that<3

what is he, jesus? this is a bit too much.

[yuukei-yikes]

can you think of anything in kagepro that would work as a tattoo design?? i was just thinking about it because im getting something else rn and seeing as this franchise has shaped me more than is normal to admit i was pondering and.... i cant really think of anything??? the paper crane maybe???

id say it's difficult to find something that represents the Entire franchise. ive thought about it as well because i love tattoos and i came to the conclusion snakes are what would represent the whole thing

otherwise you'd have to go a little more character specific. if you wanted to make the paper crane not as vague, it could be cute if its like, over exam sheets with 100 marks OR the paper crane with ayano's scarf under, idk. maybe a traffic signal with a cat on it (lol), kano's mask from the yobanashi deceive mv, haruka's sketchbook with takane's headphones (there's a cute shot of it in the mekakucity actors opening), etc. idk. some ideas

for a while i wanted to get a red thistle flower with a snake wrapped around it (azami means thistle) but my other tattoos are very cheerful and colorful and i felt like this was a little too dark for my taste. so there's a snake idea if u want it

if anyone cares, im actually a very colorful person so instead I'll get the yuukei yesterday sun with all those colorful shapes in the background heh.... ive had the idea for a while but i still gotta design it and also tattoos are expensive and i cant justify the purchase so i havent gotten a tattoo in a few years LOL. besides my next tattoo will be probably of my recently deceased cat.

i even considered getting the ene icon face from mekakucity actors. actually im not totally against this idea yet. but it might be a little too much bc thats just straight up her face and i try to be a little subtle with my nerd tattoos. ive got a steven universe tattoo and an amphibia tattoo. if asked abt the su one i say oh its from a song which is technically not a lie 🩷 and i dont rly get questions abt the amphibia one because it's just 2 random frogs dancing from a book hop pop reads in an episode and my other tattoos have that silly vibe as well so it doesn't prompt questions. the yuukei yestersay sun would fit in and also since im a harutaka head it's like. yeah. this is the kagepro design for my skin

ANYWAY GOOD LUCK ID LOVE TO SEE WHATEVER U GET ONCE U GET IT IF UR OK WITH IT HEEHEEEE

[tamamatango]

Friendship Power Scaling (normal thing to do)

Hello space frog fans, how’s everyone? Take another random off-the-cuff analysis post while I procrastinate on the more significant things I’m supposed to be doing (including the Project I plan to reveal when I put up the next part of said project) because I feel like my brain is melting like candle wax these days.

Here’s a topic I’m sure people have thought about but not really put a quantification to: I will be ranking the Keroro Platoon and their partners by their mutual closeness, as in which have the most believable Platonic Soulmates dynamic. (Read: strictly platonic we do not ship any of these in this house.) Why? Idk do I look like I know why I do anything?

So first place is Keroro and Fuyuki. Duh. Literal world-saving levels of bestest best besties forever, would be completely devastated without each other, needs very little explanation really. I guess it is sort of funny that in terms of demeanor they are maybe the least similar out of the duos but they adore each other so much it just doesn’t even matter.

Second I would say is Dororo and Koyuki. Koyuki rescued Dororo both physically and emotionally and completely changed his outlook on everything pretty much, and Dororo is Koyuki’s only real constant in her life from the village. Dororo is pretty overtly more loyal to her and their shared duty to the Earth than he is to the platoon lmao. More pronounced in the manga but still. It’s kinda hard to pinpoint their exact relationship (siblings? Dororo is her dad? Koyuki is his emotional support human?) but their bond is definitely Very Special. Even in the new project trailer Koyuki is holding him, they are so friggin sweet dude.

For third I’m gonna be spicy and say it’s Kururu and Saburo yes I am very biased but hear me out. Despite being the only pair that doesn’t live together it is heavily implied that they are near perfectly in sync but just have a really weird indirect communication system that’s sort of obscured from the audience and even more so the rest of the cast. They act nonchalant about it but they will drop whatever they’re doing immediately if the other needs a solid no questions asked. In the manga they’re even more openly buddy-buddy with all the 親友 and マブダチ talk (anime Kururu is tsun af and pretends he’s too cool for friendship) but they get even less screen time together so rip. I’ve spent more than enough time on these two before but yeah they have extreme best bro energy everyone else just isn’t big-brained enough to Get It.

Fourth is Tamama and Momoka. They’re very much cut from the same cloth and are definitely like siblings, helps that they’re the closest in age out of all the pairs (Tamama might even be a little younger than Momoka depending on what exact Keronian age theory you subscribe to). Momoka pampers Tamama like a pet, they occasionally boost each other via training, and Tamama helps with Momoka’s Love Schemes. But despite the fact that they are kindred spirits in several ways I think they put their pursuits of Keroro and Fuyuki a little above their friendship. And Momoka is not afraid to just kinda kick Tama’s ass, sometimes for good reason sometimes for no reason lol. They still love each other they’re just not as deep in each other’s heads as the higher duos.

And finally the take that would get me tarred and feathered in earlier Keroro fandom days which is putting Giroro and Natsumi last. Okay, so we know Giroro is for better or worse extremely dedicated to Natsumi in an arguably unhealthy way (well, it’s not rly arguable lol, but it’s more innocuous if you headcanon father figure theory and not The Other Thing). But does Giroro have the same level of importance to Natsumi? Eh, I mean she sees him as a close family friend and she obviously really cares about him plus certainly favors hanging out with him well over the other little guys (though she is closer with Keroro than it seems), but I think the affection is very lopsided on one end here. They both have a warrior-like disposition and a soft side but idk how much they relate outside that. And they’re not really each other’s clear BFF in the same way the other duos are since Natsumi has Koyuki and Giroro has Keroro (and Dororo as part of the RGB trio but it’s Keroro who is specifically stated to be his Best Friend in the manga). Their friendship is very cute but they just don’t have the same Unbreakable Bond Sauce that the others have yknow. And sadly they kinda Have to be a little less good at reading each other for the Giroro pining over her jokes to land. Sadly.

Well that’s it, kind of ironic the explanations got longer the lower down the list but that’s more where I felt I had to justify my positions. Like nobody is going to argue me about Keroro and Fuyuki right. At least I hope not because then I think we might have watched a different show? I mean I guess they win a bit less overwhelmingly in Sgt Frog Abridged maybe you watched that. Fuyuki gives Keroro a speech about how fucked up he is in that one that was surprisingly metal

[littledollll]

🕊️🕊️

More stalking cause I’m quite an emotional wreck today so me and emery are re reading your fics

Another prompt~ r having anxiety and needing luci to come make them feel better. (Self indulgent fic I’m really struggling today )~ very tired shy anon🕊️

#shy anon

Where’s my angel?

(Little angel universe, side fic)

Lucifer Morningstar x little!angel!reader

A/n: ya boy has a 3 hour car ride back home and I fell asleep 4 times writing this, If you see random spams of “jjjjjjjjjj” it’ll be gone tomorrow I’m taking a nap now.

To answer your question: I was in a server where the term “little one” was sooo overused and it tired me out when it was used on me so I figured it maybe did the same to other tinys (I was right) + It was just a special term for me and my tiny ones so it was a little different form the usual and “exclusive” to us:)

I can’t think of any warnings but then again I can’t rly think of anything right now so scream at me in the comments if I should add any.

Requested prompts: selective mute, anxiety and emery

Officially taking duty as hells messenger was your choice, you just wanted to feel useful though Lucifer reminded you time and time again that just your company and love was more than enough, even mazikeen agreed claiming that since you came around everything’s been a lot smoother, happy Lucifer means an (ironically) happy hell. Yet you wanted to do more than just- exist.

So when you insisted to take some role to help around Lucifer assigned you as a messenger, really all you had to do was (as the name suggests) bring and deliver messages across realms, it wasn’t that difficult most of the time. But then came days like this. You woke up small, you didn’t really know why but admittedly you didn’t always need a reason. The problem wasn’t that you slipped, it was the time you did.

You panicked, you had work to do but you couldn’t leave like this.

The more you submerged yourself in your panicked thoughts the less you could actually think, you were already small and your anxiety was making you slip further. You couldn’t even panic anymore, everything just left you. That tingling feeling that ran through your spine making you shrink from inside out. It was enough of an indication that there was no chance you’d slip out, and when you noticed you were alone you felt like crying, you cuddled up to Emery and October, October being the new addition to your piles of stuffies, a gift from Lucifer.

Nuzzling your face into the soft fur, you considered running around the kingdom until you found your Luci, but your anxiety was stronger, convincing you you’ve already used up enough of their time, they have a whole realm to run, you could handle one day alone like you had before. You hid under your mountains of blankets with embery and October, curling up and opting to just sleep the time away.

Lucifer of course noticed your absence, you’d usually be excited to get up and start working, they found your search for a mission unnecessary, but it made you happy, how could they take that away? They went to your little room, guessing that if you wished to be alone you’d be there, yet you weren’t, they made their way to your shared room. “Am I crazy or did the amount of blankets here double?” They asked into the air when they spotted your silhouette under the blankets.

You giggled thinking you were so sneaky and they obviously couldn’t hear you. “Greetings mr. silhouette, im looking for a little angel, very very tiny, I swore I heard an adorable giggle around this area, have you seen them?” They waited a beat and you held your breath so they wouldn’t spot you. “Huh, I guess mr silhouette doesn’t speak. Hmmm. Let’s see.. I checked under the bed, in the closet and behind the furniture, where could my little dove possibly be!” You giggled again, putting your finger over your mouth and very (not) discreetly said “shhhh” to both October and Emery.

“There it is again! I know it’s you tiny, and I’ll find you! If you don’t show yourself this instant I will tickle you for all eternity when I do!” You gasped. Quickly scrambling to pull the mess of blankets and peeking your eyes out while you held the covers over the rest of your face. “No way you’ve been there this whole time” you quickly nodded. “Lies! No way, I don’t believe it.” You pulled Your stuffies up from under the blanket as proof.

They glared at your stuffies and looked back at you. “They are such traitors” you shook your head pointing at them. “Oh only to me? I see how it is.” They moved over to the bed pulling the three of you into their arms. Immediately you relaxed into their hold. “What happened today, little dove? You didn’t tell me you slipped.” “didn wan bother..” Lucifer placed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You could never. You know how much I love you and your company , tiny one.”

[slytherinshua]

IN AN INSTANT

genre. fluff. warnings. none. pairing. daehwi x reader. wc. 722. request. no. a/n. it's 1:27 am (puku puku pow pow) but anyway i wrote this rly randomly and i didn't know who to make the fic abt for a while but i thought daehwi kinda fit :( so first ab6ix fic 🥹

“You know…” You rolled over onto your back, staring up at the dark ceiling of the bedroom, your thoughts racing through your head as sleep continued to evade you. 

“What?” Daehwi’s question came with a long sigh. He was still lying with his back facing you, having to deal with your insomnia disrupting his sleep as well. Not that he minded too much. He didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow, and having you back in his arms this morning after weeks of absence wasn’t quite enough for him to feel sufficiently caught up with you. 

“Just… Have you ever thought about how scary the ocean is?” You completed your original thought with a glance over at his pyjama-ed figure. Your question makes him roll over to face you, and you can just make out his facial features with the limited lighting from nightlight in the room. But instead of answering your questions, he just smiled and let a half-hearted fond chuckle leave his lips.

“I missed your randomness.” He murmured. That’s definitely not the only thing he missed.

Your smile, your laugh, your little inflections in your voice when you started talking about something you were really passionate about; all these things he could capture over video call to an extent, but it was never the same as the real deal. Nothing could ever compare to being face-to-face with you, indulging in your random conversation topics that never failed to make Daehwi ponder things he had never even considered before. Like how old possessions are souvenirs from different times in your life, or whether or not cereal could be counted as a soup.

Like most people, he never realized how much he adored every part of you until you were thousands of miles away from him. As soon as he was back in the same room as you, he was practically mesmerised by everything about you, falling in love with the exact same things that had him smitten three years ago. He barely even took his eyes off of you, too drunk on your presence to be able to even think clearly. 

The excitement from getting back had calmed down by the time you both were getting ready for bed, giggling through your nightly routine and stealing kisses from each other every chance you got like lovesick teenagers. But after you were tucked under the covers together, you had sworn to actually go to sleep, and promised to leave the leftover rush of romance for tomorrow… That was 20 minutes ago.

“You didn’t answer my question.” You pointed out. Daehwi shuffled closer to you until he was easily able to wrap an arm around your waist. 

He hummed in thought, “I think I have…? But I try not to spend too much of my time fearing something that isn’t going to harm me in the current moment.” He reasoned.

“I knew you’d have a practical response to that.” You rolled your eyes fondly and snuggled closer to his chest.

“Why did this even come up?” He asked curiously. 

“On my drive to the airport to pick you up there was this really big billboard sign with the ocean on it. And it just looked so… enormous, you know?” Daehwi nodded along with your thought process, always listening intently to whatever you had to say no matter how forgotten it would be in a few hours.

“And then I thought about how small I was in comparison… Oceans are just so massive, and they could just so easily swallow me and you and everyone on this entire planet in an instant. I mean, scientists have only explored 5% of our oceans. Who knows what’s down there.” 

“You are minuscule in comparison to it, true, but you mean a whole lot more to me than the ocean. And I’d like to think our love is like that… so big it could swallow us in an instant.” Daehwi said with a soft smile, his words dreamy and his body on the verge of sleep as he uttered them. His lips barely brushed the side of your cheek as he spoke, and you sucked in a breath. It was almost impossible to resist moving your head to find his lips and kiss him until you were both breathless. 

Oh, how in love you were with this man…

↳ ab6ix taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @heavenfilm

[celestie0]

Do you have any favourite random traits you've assigned to kickoff gojo (or any other kickoff character) ?? Or like random funny moments that arent in the story that you thought up?? I like doing this for my fics and ocs, was just wondering if you have anything like that too??!

(Hope you're doing well and not overworking yourself btw!!)

HIII my love im so sorry i answer this so late 😭 i did have a bunch of little traits i kept in my notes app that i collected gradually but i lost access to those notes recently 💀 otherwise i wouldve done rly well in answering this question 🤣 but yes foshooo i do

for kickoff gojo specifically, i have a random one where he likes to wear really stupid underwear (i mean we know he has worn spongebob underwear lmfaooo) but just really ridiculous shit like one that says “choking hazard 🤪” over his dick or underwear w john cena’s “are u sure about that 🤨” memeface all over it just cuz it gets a rise out of his teammates whenever they’re changing in the locker rooms n he’s just waltzing around in his tighty whities w red hearts across em like “yo has anyone seen my other shoe” LMFAO

hmm for other kickoff characters, i believe i’ve hc this before but even though geto is gojo’s best friend (in kickoff au they’ve been friends since i wanna say middle school) i think gojo n choso are the ones that get into the most shit together and they’re the ones that coach yaga is constantly losing years off of his lifespan for LMFAO mostly cuz choso is the only one that actually gives gojo the reactions hes looking for w all his stupid shenanigans 💀💀

these are a couple i can think of rn LOL i could probably think up a million more tbh it’s sm fun to speculate these things 🤣 but i hope it answers well!! n its so cool to know you do similarly for your characters as well :”) idk if it’s weird to say this but i almost feel like it helps me bond w them n write better for them?? there’s definitely some creative merit to it

[kafus]

sorry to randomly ask u this Q but ur the only person i could think of thats knowledgeable abt pkmn tech stuff. le-pokerus posted abt a giveaway bc nintendo’s shutting down 3ds online servers but i thought they already did that years ago? do you know anything about that

no worries i love random questions like this but also it’s not rly complicated, i think ur just misinformed? original DS and wii servers got shut down a long time ago yeah but not the 3DS/wii u which is what’s happening this year. this means gen 4 and 5 of pokemon do not have their original wifi services unless you use fanmade servers, but up until early april this year the services for gens 6-7 (so like XY/ORAS/SM/USUM) have been functional for trading battling etc.

to be clear the wifi shutdown in april does not include pokemon bank and poke transporter, but those will probably shut down sometime too and that’s why le-pokerus is doing that giveaway, to trade pokemon out before the ability to do so is taken away and get people some cool mons before bank is shut down one day too

[amyyythestarry]

TSUMITSU LITTLE MERMAID AU!

——

| The Little Merman |

——

[ Character Roles ]

Eric - Mitsuba

Ariel - Tsukasa

Ariel’s sister(s) ( Tsu’s not rly gonna have multiple siblings ) - Amane

Flounder - Olive ( an oc )

Sebastian - Natsuhiko 

Scuttle - Sumire

Ursula - Sakura

Flotsam and Jetsam - Nene and Aoi

Triton - Mr. Yugi

Max - Mokke

Chef Louis - Teru

Carlotta - Mei

Notes: 

Mitsuba is going to have two moms, except they're not married, and one is his nobel mother and the other one is just mother Mitsuba, who is not a royal nobel. Also his big brother Karasu is also a prince.

Nene and Aoi are sirens and not conjoined.

Max is a pink ( actual ) bunny named Mokke.

Carlotta/Mei is Mitsuba’s best friend.

This oneshot is inspired by ‘Kiss the Girl’ by ‘MusicalMoritz’ on AO3.

Strange Tides

✩︎

As soon as Mitsuba lays his eyes on the curly black haired blasian boy with cat-like but clueless amber eyes, the first thing he thinks is ‘poor guy’. The knights reported to him and his Nobel mother, Fuku/Mitsuba Yumi, that the boy must have lost his memory, and is not able to speak.

The nameless boy wore a button up black pocket patched shirt with black jeans, and Mitsuba wore a long sleeve red shitagi and pink hakama pants. With additional jewelry, like his blue whale right earring and charm bracelet.

Mitsuba couldn’t help but think for a second that those eyes were the same ones he saw the day he was saved by an unknown male. The one with a singing voice dripping honey and flowers, a magnificent sound. The unknown male he’s been trying to find ever since. 

His savior.

But, the boy sitting in front of him couldn’t even speak, nevertheless sing. So his wishes for them to be the same people were dispelled.

It’s such a shame though, and it makes Mitsuba feel a little less hopeful than before and sends him out of the room. Everything matched up, the same hair, eye color, skin color. If he were to see his teeth, maybe the same fangs as well?

He can see his face, but he can’t hear his voice.

And that’s the key memory. His key memory.

So Mitsuba puts that aside, and tries to see what to make out of the boy himself.

The boy in question acted like a newborn child, or just a baby coming outside for the first time. So curious and excited and new. He looks at his food, something given to him by the servants, like it’s something he’s never seen before. Like it was a stinky rat they just fried and threw on a plate. Because he scrunched up his nose, inspected it, and instead of even touching it with the utensils, he looked much more interested in a spoon, fork and chopsticks.

Mitsuba thinks that it was much more logical if the boy was just a ‘tall’ 2 year old. 

He continues to be fascinated by music boxes and fire and even his own two legs and feet, he walks like he doesn’t know how to use his own two legs and feet.

He’s always smiling and excited, the only thing that seems to make him drop the cheerful demeanor is seeing sea animals get cooked in an open restaurant window.

Maybe he’s vegan?

Mitsuba wishes to be just as happy as the boy is all the time. Instead, Mitsuba’s life is filled with royalty. The only thing that’s intriguing about him is his good looks and status.

He wished he knew what the boy thought of him. He hopes it has nothing to do with him being a prince.

What if the boy was much more interested in princesses instead?

The whole thing made Mitsuba’s head spiral, it made him frustrated with himself. He’s supposed to be thinking about his savior, not a random boy with amnesia and overly cute, well, everything..

Maybe not as cute as himself.. But, he still can’t help but look at him in an adoring way.

If there is anything that Mitsuba will admit about himself ( Except that he’s good looking ) is that he’s a pretty bad prince.

He doesn’t care about finding a spouse or ascending to his throne or producing an heir or any royal responsibilities. He never even dreamed of being a prince, not even as a kid. He dreamed of being anything that had anything to do with anything in the sea.

He wanted to be a marine scientist ( Even though he’s not that good at science, he would work his a** off ), but mostly a sailor, a captain, a pirate even. He wanted to be involved with the sea world, he wanted the sea animals and plants and water to acknowledge him. 

Because that seemed more exciting than boring politics and crowns and paperwork.

When people dream of being king, queens, princes, princesses and any royal Nobel, they dream of ballrooms, respect, wealth, spouses, status. Not politics, or  paperwork. Maybe crowns, but definitely not having to be responsible for everything that goes wrong in your life, and in other people’s life.

The girls Mitsuba met weren’t so bad, but they weren’t interesting, and he couldn’t imagine himself falling in love with any of them. Or anyone for that matter. His mothers tried suitors, he didn’t like them either. The people he met were dull, fake-fancy, and had expensive personalities. In his book, they weren’t worth a dime. Maybe a penny cut in half.

They could have been good people, good suitors or suitresses. But again, he wasn’t interested in ‘people-love’, he wanted the earth to love him. Again, not people.

Pretty selfish, right?

He wanted animals to love him, plants, even air. A little bit more like Snow White. Because to him that meant that he was truly important, truly loved. People only loved him because of his status, even his Nobel mother. Maybe except for his real mother and brother.

At least he has his own pirate crew, but they even respect him because he’s Prince Sousuke. 

Mitsuba wants to be known as Mitsuba. Too many people call him Prince Sousuke. It holds no meaning anymore.

But whatever, he can’t drop out or anything. He’ll continue to be pretty good at politics and crowns and paperwork. 

He’s not one of those angsty teens in indie movies, and even if he may be one at least he’s the prettiest angsty teen in an indie movie.

He’s grateful though, of course. He’s grateful that his family was taken out of poverty after their father left them in the dust. He’s grateful that his mother still loves him. He’s grateful that his brother still loves him, even though Karasu claims he’s gay and emo. He’s grateful that people respect him, and that he’s not picked on or bullied like other kids, he may have been if he hadn’t turned into a Prince and exerted into royalty.

But sometimes he wished he was a normal boy.

Mitsuba didn’t notice that he rambled to the boy about cons of royalty and his dreams, including how he wanted to be earth and marine. Like a merman. The boy giggled, but no actual giggles were heard.

Mitsuba didn’t think he could admire the boy anymore than he already did.

His eyes shone in the sun in a way that added teal and gold and gray into his irises, they looked even prettier than before ( Mitsuba dare say prettier than his own ). 

His eyes looked like the most beautiful blocks of gold, and even citrine crystals.

Mitsuba loved crystals.

This boy was much more interesting, than even himself and anyone he’s ever met. Nature, air and sea right in front of him with the glory of Mother Earth.

He realizes he’s staring too much so he looks away sheepishly, he’s never looked someone in the eye that much before.

Despite spending the very few days together, Mitsuba still doesn’t know much about him. It’s difficult to learn anything about the boy because he can’t speak to him, can’t tell him anything about himself. But still, it wouldn’t hurt to try a little, right..?

“I feel bad for not knowing your name..” He says, still not looking the boy in the eye.

He perks up at that.

Mitsuba doesn’t know what to do after that, how would he try to figure out his name?

He looks up from the sea and gets an idea.

“What if I try to guess it?”

The boy thinks, then nods eagerly.

Mitsuba turns to face him again, looking at his face to see what name would suit him.

“Is it Akira?”

He shakes his head, still smiling brightly.

“How about,” he ponders some more, “Tsu…..”

He gasps and leans in, that must mean he’s close…

“Tsu…. Basa..?”

He shakes his head again, but looks at him even more expectedly.

Then he writes something in the air with his finger slowly two times, something that looks like a ‘K’.

“Tsu.. Ki.. Tsuki!”

He indicates another ‘no’.

Mitsuba thought that was so close.

But he was getting closer.

What other name started with ‘TSUK’..?

Suddenly, the name hits him upside the head like a strong wind. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was sung to him. The same singing voice he heard the time he was saved. 

Tsukasa.

“Tsukasa?” He says with much more confidence this time. ‘That has to be it-‘

The boy lights up, nodding so fast Mitsuba worries he’ll hurt his neck.

A victorious smile spreads across Mitsuba’s face, trying to suppress the urge to stomp his feet and flap his hands to release the energy.

“Tsukasa,” he tries. “I like it.”

Tsukasa's smile turns smaller, and Mitsuba thinks he must have said something wrong once Tsukasa turns away so he doesn’t see his face.

But then he sees his cheeks turn a mulberry pink, and starts blushing himself.

Mitsuba doesn’t know what to do now. He had a goal, did he not? An original one, one that came before wanting to get to know Tsukasa’s name. He had a mission before meeting Tsukasa, and he has no plans on giving that mission up.

He has to find the guy who saved him. He has to see him, hear his voice again, thank him with everything he’s got. Sure, now he really wished Tsukasa and the guy were the same people, but life wasn’t that simple, he learned that even before becoming a prince.

He had to hold his pride and put aside meaningless flirting. 

But god would he be lying if he said Tsukasa didn’t make his stomach upset, fizzy and nervous. Maybe it felt like that because he was trying to swallow the words wanting to call him pretty, good looking. That’s Mitsuba’s thing, being pretty. He was the prettiest boy in this town! Tsukasa couldn’t come a close to that, he wouldn’t let him.

Though Mitsuba was a man, a man with eyes, that couldn’t deny Tsukasa’s attractiveness for the life of him. Not even just his physical appearance, everything about Tsukasa seemed attractive. His attitude, personality.. Mitsuba didn’t think he even had a bad trait.

But everyone did, so that was unrealistic.

And one thing about falling in love is the delusion that someone couldn’t be bad in any way.

And now Mitsuba thought this was horrible, the urge to kiss Tsukasa was overwhelming. He doubted for a second he would get turned down, but fear of rejection took place.

People all over his town ( Around his age of course ) would send him heartfelt love letters and flowers just to be with him, to either be royal or because they ‘loved’ him. He could hardly walk around his palace without someone confessing their undying adoration for him. He’s never, ever been the one confessing, even when it comes to saying his appreciating love for his family. He couldn’t do it, it would break his pride and make him uncomfortable.

So imagine how he’s feeling right now with the most lovable person in front of him.

This was more risky. A guy he’s only spent a day with kissing him sounded rushed if he were to tell his mother, or his brother, or his maid. It was rushed, and desired. That was horrible.

Looking at Tsukasa another time, who’s just recovered from the compliment and is now looking at the water, he knows he wants him. He wants Tsukasa more than anything right now. He’s unlike any person he’s ever met, as a prince who met half the whole town, that’s saying a lot. 

It’s possible Tsukasa wants him too, right? Those gold eyes have been lingering on him all day, he could say with all his confidence. Tsukasa would invade his space like he couldn’t be separated from him for a moment. 

Mitsuba can tell when someone is interested in him, Tsukasa checks every box.

Little did he know the boy himself was just as nervous, maybe by five times.

He had suppressed bouncing his leg or fidgeting with his hands  in front of the prince so he wouldn’t look unstable, but really he didn’t know what to do either.

What do you do when you're on a boat with a human in silence? The prettiest human you’ve ever seen, the first human you’ve seen ever since coming up to the surface?

Prince Sousuke was exactly how Tsukasa imagined a human would be. Gorgeous, humble and elegant. Even more than merpeople. Even more capable and interesting.

Tsukasa wasn’t so clueless, he’d read romance books, he’s seen romance, he’s known about it ever since he was a kid. It was written on his father’s face when facing his mother, it smudged off of it when their mother left, it floated in bubble hearts around people giving romantic tension. 

He wondered, if Mitsuba and him were under sea, would they have a bubble heart too..?

He doubted it like he’s never doubted anything before.

But there was so much tension.

And the timing was perfect. On a boat, sea creatures and birds all around them, no one else. The lighting and atmosphere was something out of a romance movie, and they both heard a soft melody coming from the distance where fishermen were playing music on the dock, far from them of course.

The moment is subtly ruined by the squawking of a seagull. Mitsuba jumps at the noise, while Tsukasa laughs, a little too quietly. 

Tsukasa takes Mitsuba’s hand unwantedly and takes him back to his previous concern.

He does want to kiss the boy.

Now’s their moment, the nature was urging them, the wind pushed them in close proximity and out of the corner of Tsukasa’s eye he sees leaves flowing along loopy lines all around the boat.

No time could be better, they’d lose the chance if they didn’t take it now. 

Fish were circling around them, they’ve made it under a willow tree and the leaves continued dancing. The sight might have been strange to Mitsuba, all the sea creatures now beside their boat, all of the Earth focusing on this one moment if he weren’t so focused on Tsukasa.

Everything was set up so perfectly, like the universe wants this to happen. Mitsuba wasn’t so big on fate, since the coming out of poverty with a royal request felt like nonsense to him when he was younger, but he could roll with this one.

His hands reach out to find Tsukasa’s. He could no longer hide it. 

At that moment he wanted to kiss Tsukasa more than anything.

Tsukasa smiles, more like an attempt to pull himself together because he would never be ready for a kiss, by a human, by anyone. Not ever. His heart was still beating hard in his chest, loud enough for Prince Sousuke to hear it, his ears were ringing and his eyes fluttered to shut close to not see what comes next.

Mitsuba smiles, no longer shy like Tsukasa, but flirty, like he’s daring Tsukasa to follow his plan in making them as close as possible.

Tsukasa’s hands are shaking, his legs are shaking, his whole body is now. He’s never been more nervous in his life. Maybe.

But he shakingly accepts the challenge.

Tsukasa and Mitsuba inch closer and closer toward each other. The distance in their faces is closing in, and Mitsuba can feel the overwhelming warmth of Tsukasa’s body heat. Their lips brush against each other, and then-

In an instant, the boat flips over.

It happens so fast that it gives Mitsuba whiplash. He’s not able to process what just happened, but surely he will not be admiring the water engulfing him after ruining the chance he had with Tsukasa.

His immediate response was to find Tsukasa, reaching out to him under the water and then pulling them both up to the surface ( Ever the gentleman ).

Once they both come up, they breath in air through their mouth, it almost gives Mitsuba flashbacks of almost drowning.

A black and purple fish is swimming frantically around Tsukasa, looking comically panicked. Mitsuba can’t help but stifle a laugh at the sight, deciding to question everything later.

“Looks like you have a friend,” he points out.

Tsukasa’s eyes dart everywhere but Mitsuba’s, all memories of the moment they were about to share coming back to him like a speedy truck, and then hastily swats away the flounder.

“Hey,” Mitsuba teases, “Don’t be mean to it.”

He takes Tsukasa’s hand, giving him a dreamy look to try cheering him up. It takes a while for Tsukasa to register it before blushing profusely and looking away again, hand still quaking.

A feeling of disappointment sweeps over Mitsuba as he realizes he missed the chance to kiss Tsukasa. Although, this situation was just hugely ridiculous and he does nothing but laugh and encourages Tsukasa to flip the canoe back over.

It’s an easy task, and Mitsuba starts rowing them back to shore.

He wants to kick himself for not kissing the boy sooner, when will an opportunity like that come again?!

He tries convincing himself that it’s fine, he’ll take Tsukasa somewhere nice next time, and go to a cafe to apologize, maybe. Hopefully royalty didn’t take up all his time again, because the only thing he wanted to be occupied with now is Tsukasa.

And finding his savior..

Yes, of course.

Mitsuba doesn’t notice Tsukasa fuming, thoughts running wild with questions and everything above while steering the boat.

Tsukasa hides his face in his hands as a seagull lands on the boat and tilts its head at him.

Sumire smirks, amused by an overly flustered Tsukasa she’s never seen before. Also thinking it was a shame the sirens working for Sakura had to ruin the romance between Tsukasa and the boy she thinks, she knows, he likes a lot.

Mitsuba and Tsukasa will hopefully get a chance in the future.

✩︎

[boy-above]

tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here

[caatws]

I can't speak for the merchandising but when it comes to gotg rides Mission Breakout is set just after vol 2 so there would be no need to change anything about it because of vol 3. Not that I think they would change the ride anyway. The newer ride is Cosmic Rewind and it's supposed to be taking place during or around vol 1. Gamora is of course included. This ride came out last year and I don't know when or how it was decided but I have been wondering if the whole rewind to vol 1 theme was picked so Gamora could be included.

I have mostly loved Gunn's work when it comes to gotg. I think he's typically thoughtful and nuanced when dealing with the abuse and trauma plots. However I don't think he had the ability to deal with Thanos killing Gamora. Gamora needed way more attention and her death should have been one of the most serious issues gotg ever had. I don't know what the perfect solution would have been but part of me wishes they would have given Gamora a solo movie or show handled by someone more willing to do the work needed to give Gamora's murder closure and Gamora an arc that was about finding a way to give back to her rather than take away. The mcu wanting to deal with hard and complicated issues is great. Being unprepared to see them through to the end or research what those situations are really like, isn't so great and honestly can send out a bad message. Vol 3 treats everything Thanos did with nonchalance. Gunn also uses the time and space since Endgame mostly in a negative way for Gamora. Vol 3 has Rocket and Nebula as much better friends and the entire basis for this is Endgame. At the same time it only lightly touches on Gamora and Nebula's relationship even though Endgame showed that was the most important thing for both of them and the entire catalyst for Gamora having confidence that her arrival to the future might be okay and they could win against Thanos. He ignores that 5 years working and being friends with other people could pose an issue for Rocket and Nebula when the guardians came back from the snap. Especially Nebula who hadn't been on the team before. It's like none of that time mattered at all. Then with Gamora he treats her time after Endgame as if it's created a permanent wall where she can't connect with these characters or be part of the guardians. And now here we are with Gamora being excluded and her value as a character being questioned which is the exact opposite of what you should want for a film about abuse survivors.

you're so right on all fronts here! i think gunn is extremely talented and everything else has been generally handled well and beautifully; for me personally it mostly only starts to all unravel when i consider the gamora situation, but looking past that, i think most of the characters got pretty solid arcs/moments/etc across the 3 films, especially considering the chaotic context of trying to fit into the greater mcu.

i'm glad rocket got the attention and care he did in this film, esp knowing how much it meant to gunn, but like i mentioned yesterday, i think it would've made more sense to put this particular story between vol 2 and iw, since the effects of iw/eg are hardly even explored in the film beyond peter grieving, the ravager gamora storyline, nebula's presence, and just other random details.

and i'm not just making up reasons to sound like a hater here lol like i've LITERALLY been saying since 2021 when mcu content resumed post-covid that, in general, one of my biggest gripes with post-eg mcu is the lack of rly going into the effects of 1) the 5-year time skip, and 2) the snap itself on most of the characters/stories, and unfortunately vol 3 ended up falling into the majority of films/shows that didn't rly deal with it much.

and my issue isn't necessarily gunn not wanting to deal with all that on top of the rocket story he wanted to do, but just like...we didn't have to make it a post-eg story then lol

in my ideal world we'd get like a vol 4 that is post-eg where it's just the gotg grieving gamora and searching for the new one, or perhaps even rectifying the whole original issue by bringing original gamora back or merging her with 2014!gamora etc. but either way, i think gamora's circumstances in her life and death warranted her getting a story just as much centered around her and driven by how much the other characters love her just as much as rocket did.

but yeah like you said anon, i just don't think gunn - or markus, mcfeely, or the russos bros for that matter - were equipped to handle this kind of storyline. and that isn't a bad thing! that isn't even a criticism of their work. it's just a literal fact that not all storytellers are equipped to handle every kind of story. and i don't think it should be A Big Deal to simply say that a white male storyteller may not be the best choice to tell the story of the consequences of a woc abuse survivor getting murdered by her abuser like lol. (bc when white male storytellers did tell that story, it was to show how the abuser actually Loved her and how there are parts of thanos we can still sympathize with UWU)

this is not even a radical opinion. this is quite literally the whole point of movements like #ownvoices and giving bipoc/queer/etc creatives jobs in directing and/or writing films/shows that center their identities.

like it literally is not that deep to suggest that local middle-aged white man james gunn (who's already made it clear that rocket was His Guy from the beginning, so we already know which character he'd prefer to focus on) was maybe not The Best Choice to write a story abt a woc surviving and escaping her abuser only to end up murdered by him in the end. he had his chance to show he was equipped to tell that story and he didn't, the end, case closed. it's as simple as that, and i don't wanna hear any dissenting opinions from white ppl, honestly!

[webslingingslasher]

hello i’m a new anon, just recently became obsessed w frat peter and trouble 🫶 but OMG do i have a story for you and ur followers this happened today

so for reference i’m a 21 yr old girly girl college student okay and i was on campus today by myself getting food from a truck and i was just waiting for my order yknow and this RANDOM ASS GUY comes up to me like “…hey 👀 are u single?” and i was like 🧍‍♀️ yes and hes like oh okay i just thought u were rly cute i wanted to know if you’d want to go on a date (like this has never happened to me before)

so i gave him my number okay he texts me rigt after saying let’s have lunch on monday i said ok maybe and we’re texting i’m like so wait whats ur major how old are u blah blah blah and he doesnt answer for a bit then he CALLS ME….

he’s like yeah sry i’m a bad texter and i was just in a class presentation he’s a music major btw like giving soundcloud rapper but anyways i was like wait u never answered my question how old are u

…….BESTIE 😭😭😭😭 HE’S 32…………..

i was so awkward on the phone after he said that he was like do u still wanna have lunch? and i said i’ll think abt it… then i texted him saying sry it’s not gonna work 💔💔 HE SEEMED RLY NICE AND HE WAS KINDA CUTE (like just 🤏 a little) BUT 11 YRS??? IN THEORY YES LIKE TRUST ME I LIVE FOR A DILF ON SCREEN OR WHATEVER BUT REAL LIFE…… i don’t think i could

SO SORRY that was so long i just thought this was hilarious me and my friends were DYINGGGG on the phone ab this it feels like a cruel prank i wish he was 21 and hot 💔💔💔

(can i be 🚭 anon? it’s funny bc i vape HAHAHAH) (if that’s taken feel free to give me anything else i’m not picky!!)

'bad texter' my brother in christ, you're the generation of e-mails.

nah i'm sorry, cause even if he's attractive, he suddenly becomes gross and creepy when i think about how he's in his 30/40's hitting on me... like sir, what is wrong with you women your own age don't want you?

*backwards cap* fellow vaper, how do u do?

[kawhump]

🍏🔮🩸🎀💧🧠!!!

🍏 - How do you get inspiration for whump?

hmmm. I think my whump thoughts tend to be pretty self-referencial. its just finding new ways to combine a collection of blorbos and a collection of fucked up situations and emotions. but! scrolling through whump tags or my dashboard is probably one of the main sources of new ideas into my brain's little ecosystem. usually it's the actual fics but sometimes a prompt will hit me hard.

and of course sometimes random things in completely unwhumpy life or media will stick in my head as having potential.

🔮 - What's a favorite whump trope of yours?

I'm fine with repeating this question bc I've got more answers! I've been thinking lately about begging when its not necessary. mistaking friend for foe in a state of delirium is a classic example. but! I am picky. I don't think it hits the same if its a result of Conditioning™ or meant to show that a character is Completely Broken™. I like it best when its a character that you wouldn't expect to beg, having a little lapse that shows just how fucked up of a state they're in. and ESPECIALLY if its somewhat reasonable; if there's some genuine reason they'd think this person would hurt them. it makes the other person's guilt so much more potent 😈

🩸 - What's a least favorite whump trope of yours?

EHEHEH, TEA TIME. lets seeeee. honestly I'd have to say conditioning. specifically conditioning played completely straight. it's very fun to deconstruct as a concept, but I just find it so bland when it's done in the classic fantasy of Torturer Kidnaps And Trains Whumpee Into Obedient Slave narrative. it's just so disconnected from any real psychology that I find it really hard to get into.

🎀 - Do you know any good songs for whump?

honestly? yes. emo music is really good for whump. so is a lot of dark country, honestly. from a quick glance at one of my favorite whumpee's playlists, I can recommend Grave Digger by Blues Saraceno, honestly almost anything from Everyone Loves A Villain, (warning, too hard for you if you're categorically opposed to metal music) and also anything from Citizen Soldier. (warning, they're basically all about depression and almost all about suicidal thoughts, so tread with caution if you're sensitive to that.)

💧 - What's your favorite type of whumpee?

I already answered this one, but it'll do it again. I'm rly partial to slimy little bastards. real "woah hey I'm just a little guy. just a little fella. and it's my birthday, you wouldn't hit a guy on his birthday? I'm just a little birthday boy" energy

🧠 - What's your favorite type of whumper?

honestly I think whumpers are the part of whump that I care about the least. I had to look through my writing folder to remember my own whumpers lmao. they're a plot device to explore the characters I actually care about. but if I had to take a stance I'd say I've been enjoying lab whump recently, and I find scientist-type whumpers very fun.

[everythingsinred]

Okay I have a random question I thought of after finishing reading atrad: Where is it set? Like, do you have a specific country in mind? It doesn't really change anything about the story, I was just curious. (And if you mentioned in the fic itself I'm sorry, my observation skills are not stellar ;-; )

thank u for asking abt atrad!

sometimes when writing a story i love to sink into setting enough to make it its own character (i LOVE doing this hhh) but w atrad it was a little tricky bc i didnt wanna distract from the plot. so in the end it ended up being kinda nondescript. natsume's apartment, the convenience store, and the house were more vital than the city or country itself.

but yeah. its in japan (kinda). where in japan? god knows. ive also never been to japan (yet) so i didnt explore too much for that reason too. i did some minimal research whenever id ask myself "is [insert thing i wrote] a custom in japan?" or "instead of hot dogs or nachos what do japanese convenience stores offer?" but bc i wanted to focus on the cult as id imagined it i didnt rly flesh out the japan part of it as much. i think i mentioned "japan" a few times, but if that didnt rly sink in or stand out, thats okay. it wasnt rly supposed to.