#or just fucking crackhead strange

[djbeatz]

Cheese

You know how there was this weird trend where parents would throw cheese at their crying baby and the baby would just shut up?

Chuuya has done this to Dazai and it was very effective.

LIKE LISTEN- Chuuya had seen the videos circulating the internet and he’s just like ‘This is my last resort in a ditch effort to shut that fishy bastard up.’ and one day he was just desperate to have some peace and quiet in his goddamn house so he can do documents and Dazai just wouldn’t be quiet so he got up, went to the kitchen, grabbed a slice of cheese, came back and just chucked it dead centre in his face.

And Dazai shut the fuck up because he could not even begin to process what the fuck just happened. Chuuya has now dubbed him a man-baby.

BEST THING IS HE STILL DOES THIS.

When the ADA and PM have a truce and are just getting things done in Chuuya’s house, everybody just wanted Dazai to be quiet for a minute, so Chuuya snuck away, got a slice of cheese, came back and suddenly it was smack dab in the middle of Dazai’s face. This shut him up instantly because he’s having war flashbacks.

Everyone just looked confused, amused or ready to laugh and then Chuuya said, “There, problem solved.” Which had all of them bursting into hysterics.

Dazai hates it when he has what they call ‘Cheese Days’. Days where it’s just a never ending 24 hours of Chuuya throwing cheese at Dazai and because Chuuya knows Dazai knows him, he tries to do it in ways he normally wouldn’t for maximum success.

It happened in the ADA once. All the members could hear was Dazai irritatedly shouting “CHUUYA!” and Chuuya laughing his ass off. Chuuya can catch him at the most impossible angles, not to mention his ability, it really doesn’t mean much when he’s using his ability to throw things at Dazai for obvious reason.

Dazai hates it, Chuuya loves it and holds onto it like a lifeline.

[perfinn]

you're out of touch, i'm out of time

aegon ii targaryen x reader

wc: 3.3k

summary: you have a tendency to pick up strays, but when you pick up the king of westeros (who was supposed to have died hundreds of years ago), things begin to get a little complicated

cw: NSFW, f!reader, aegon being a creep (shocker), aegon being deeply pathetic (also shocker), aegon is drunk or possibly hung over, attempted sex (aegon begs for a handjob but doesn't get one)

masterlist, read on ao3, divider by saradika

You’ve always been too nice. You’re aware of this unfortunate fact, though you staunchly refuse to admit it’s a weakness. Has this trait left you without necessities from time to time because you gave them to someone who needed them more? Yes, but you sleep better at night knowing that that homeless girl had sturdy new shoes, even if you had to walk home barefoot. You can always handle a bit of discomfort if it means improving someone’s day marginally. It’s not as though you’re without any sense of self preservation– you know when to say no, or when to walk away. When someone is out for their own self interest, or just plain dangerous. 

You’re smart about it. Mostly. Sometimes, though, your sympathy gene takes over, and you approach the danger because you feel there’s more beneath the surface. So far, it hasn’t put you in any troubling positions. Still, first time for everything. And as you stand on the edge of the pavement, toes of your shoes swinging down into the gutter as you sway back and forth, you wonder if you’re about to break your successful streak.

There’s a man in the busy city street, raving and desperately trying to get someone’s attention. Usually, he’s the type you’d regretfully ignore for your own safety, but he seems different. He doesn’t seem like the usual King’s Landing crackheads. He’s dressed too nice, for starters. Strange, yes, but still nice. In fact, it looks to be better quality than anything you own. And he’s young– which isn't uncommon in this situation, but it always makes your heart ache when they’re young. 

He looks desperate, terrified, and as another person ducks their head and walks past him, you feel yourself moving toward him. You don't know why. Maybe because you know if you leave now, you’ll not sleep tonight for the sheer guilt of passing him by. He spots you making your way over and turns to you, seeming to hope against hope that you’re going to acknowledge him. 

“Hi,” you say in a calm, even voice. It's a tone you’ve gotten quite good at. You’re not professionally trained by any means, but these things generally come with the territory. “Let's get you out of the road, okay? You could get hurt.”

“What the fuck are those things?” He demands of you as a car stops to let you take him across. You wave your thanks to the driver, who looks mildly disgruntled, and take the young man gently by the arms to get him onto the pavement. “Where are the horses?”

You know he must be confused, so you’re gentle with him. “There's no horses,” you say, still holding his arms as he finally looks away from the disappearing car and into your eyes. He looks so deeply afraid, but you notice he does take a moment to look you over. You let him, trying to see the best in him and hoping it's just curiosity. It doesn't matter right now anyway, you tell yourself. “Are you okay?”

“No!” He snaps. “Course I’m not bloody okay! Where am I?!”

“You’re in King’s Landing,” you say. “Let's get you somewhere quiet, okay? Are you hungry?”

“This,” he laughs in disbelief, looking around. “Is not King’s Landing, I know what King’s Landing looks like!”

“Okay,” you nod. “I believe you. Let's go sit down, I’ll buy you something to eat.”

The man looks at you with what you think is an offended scowl, but the offer of food does seem to intrigue him. “And wine?”

“No,” you say, and he deflates. 

He scratches at his chin, but nods in agreement. “Yes, fine.”

You smile, a bit of relief easing the worry in your ribs. Sometimes people won't cooperate, or they’ll turn you away when you say you won't buy them booze or give them money outright. This young man seems to be content enough without wine, so you wave your hand and lead him down the road toward the nearest fast food joint. 

He follows behind you, panicked eyes still looking around as though he's never seen the world before. It's not wonder, but something close to anger, indignation maybe. You make it to a diner you like, opening the door for him. He's clearly astounded by the ugly cacophony of colours inside, but you can't blame him. You don't come here for the aesthetics. 

“Go sit down?” You tell him gently, framing it like a suggestion as you point to your favourite booth. He scowls, but does as bid. 

The teen behind the counter takes little notice of your strange company. It's King’s Landing, he's probably seen something ten times as strange already today. Once you’ve paid, you join your new stray, sitting down across from him and folding your hands on the table. 

“So, what's your name?” You ask him, and he looks away from the bustling street outside the window to stare at you in what you assume is disbelief. 

“What’s my name?” He echoes, leaning slightly over the table. “Are you serious?”

You blink. That’s… not a question anyone’s ever been mad at you for. You learned quickly which questions to steer clear of to avoid pissing people off.

He scoffs, leaning back in his seat and tapping a dirtied fingernail against the peeling surface of the table. “Aegon,” he says, almost experimentally. Like he's testing the waters. 

You nod politely, and tell him yours.

He stares at you. “Nothing? Aegon? You’ve not heard the name Aegon?”

“Well, of course I have,” you say, confused smile pulling at your lips. “It's a common enough name. I think I knew a guy in school named Aegon–”

“You have been to school?” Aegon asks, eyebrows shooting up and a laugh spilling from his mouth. He leans back, dragging his hands over his clammy face. “Have I been drugged?!”

You’d put serious money on that being a resounding yes. 

“This is crazy,” he says, leaning forward again. He says your name slowly, glancing around before his eyes land on you. “Can you tell me what's going on?”

You bite your lip, thankful when the cashier calls out your order number. You rush to get up and get it, fearing you may be way out of your depth this time. He talks like he’s never seen the world before, and his comment about you having gone to school… none of it makes any sense. You’ve never even had the thought of dropping someone off with someone who’s better equipped to handle problems of this magnitude, but Aegon has you really considering it. When you return with the tray of food and set it down, Aegon has the specials menu in hand and is squinting at it. 

“I got you what I usually get,” you say, setting the tray down and placing his wrapped burger in front of him, leaving the fries on the tray. “Aegon, I want to help you, but I’m at a bit of a loss.”

“That certainly makes two of us,” Aegon says, unwrapping the burger curiously. “What meat is this?”

“It’s beef,” you tell him, unwrapping your own. He watches as you take a bite of yours, and he nods as though in satisfaction before taking a hefty bite of his. “Aegon, I want to understand what’s going on in your head. Can you just…”

You’re not sure how to say it, really. It’s invasive, and you don’t want him to feel like you believe he’s crazy, or lying.

“What’s your deal?”

He chews slowly on his burger, eyeing you suspiciously. “My deal,” he echoes, lips turned down in a scowl. “Is that I’m the King of Westeros.”

You nod slowly, biting into your burger so you don’t have to answer right away. You hope if you stay silent long enough, he’ll feel compelled to keep talking. 

“King Aegon,” he says slowly, like you’re the deluded one. “Aegon Targaryen, Second of His Name, Protector of the Realm, all the rest. Are you serious?”

You swallow your mouthful and nod. You’re not particularly well versed in history, but the titles ring a bell. It’s some sort of messiah complex, you’d wager. Trying your best not to seem dismissive, you pull out your phone. “Let me see,” you say. 

“What’s that?” He asks, leaning forward and trying to snatch it from you. You move it out of his way, yelping softly in contrition. 

“My phone!” You say. “I’m just looking you up, Aegon.”

“You’re what?” He says, looking horrified. “Give me that!”

“Dude, no! Let me just–” You stand up from your seat to be out of his reach, hurriedly typing the name he’d told you into the search bar. “Look, I know the name Targaryen, that’s the Conqueror's name!”

“Yes! Aegon the Conqueror!” He cries. “You’re finally making sense!”

“What? No, I mean Daenerys!”

“Who!?”

“Aegon, sit back down!” You snap, and he pauses in his pursuit of your phone, stunned into silence by your firm tone. Slowly, he returns to his seat, picking up a fry to eat it. 

“Only because I want to,” he says childishly. 

You frown at him, shaking your head before looking back at your phone as it pulls up the results for your search. 

‘Aegon II Targaryen, also known as Aegon the Elder, was the sixth Targaryen king to sit the Iron Throne, succeeding his father, Viserys I Targaryen, as Lord of the Seven Kingdoms.’

The search pulls up a picture as well, one of those terribly done paintings from the dark ages. It’s hard to say whether the Aegon in front of you looks much like the one in the painting, but he does have the same pale blonde hair and violet eyes. He’s a lot more pathetic than the portrait, too. He has the qualities of a wet cat, and you hate that it’s somewhat endearing. When you keep scrolling, you find a painting that can’t have been contemporary. This is a more detailed portrait, likely from half a century ago, where Aegon is covered in burns and lies dead in a carriage. 

You look up, meeting the wary eyes of the confused but un-burned man before you, and slowly sit back down. You know that he isn’t actually the king from nearly a millennium ago, but there’s an uncanny quality about him that makes you want to doubt the logical truth. His clothes, for one. You don’t know many homeless guys with such fine embroidery on their clothes. And there’s his features… you know them to be Valyrian, but rarely does anyone still pop up with the stark blond and violet irises. You remember well enough from your high school history classes that the Targaryen dynasty had those features.

“What does your little brick do?”

You blink, looking down at it and pulling up the contemporary portrait – part of you tells you not to show him the other. He scowls at it, but nods. “Seven hells, that’s not flattering. Where did you get this miniature? You have this and yet claim not to know me? What game do you play?”

You sigh. He truly doesn’t understand, does he? 

“Aegon, what year do you think it is?”

He rears back and regards you with more suspicion. “129 AC,” he says.

“And what were you doing before this?” 

“I will not tell you that,” he says. “You’re one of Rhaenyra’s spies, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know who Rhaenyra is,” you say softly. “I’m sorry, Aegon, I’m not a history buff.”

“History–” He stops, and goes deathly silent for a long moment, as though the whole situation is finally processing for him. You wonder if it’s the stench of wine that hangs off him explains his slow processing. “What year do you think it is?”

You tell him the year, even tack today’s date on for him. He stares are you, and you can see his brain buffering yet again. 

“Seven hells,” he murmurs. You find you share a similar sentiment. 

He picks up his burger and begins to eat it slowly. He’s silent for a long while, eyes seeming far away as he contemplates. You try not to stare at him, but it's no easy task. 

“This is going to sound crazy,” he says after a long while. “But I believe I may have travelled… through time.”

“I’d say so, yeah,” you respond. At this point, it's the only explanation. You’d usually say something about eliminating all the impossible options, but that just doesn't work here. Time travel is impossible, or it should be. And it's possible Aegon is just suffering from a deeply intense messiah complex. But that doesn't seem right. Your instincts haven't led you wrong before, you’re not about to ignore them now. 

“What am I going to do?” asks Aegon.

You want to tell him you’re going to try to find a way to get him back to his own time, but you’re struck once more with the image of him burned and twisted, dead in a carriage. How can you send him back to his fate knowing his grisly end?

You take in the man in front of you, this historical figure you’d never heard of until five minutes ago, and bite your lip. “We’ll figure it out,” you promise him. “You… can stay with me until we do.”

That’s probably dumb, and you’ll probably regret it. But not more than you would regret leaving him out on the streets.

“I suppose,” sighs Aegon like he’s spoiled for choice. You get up to ask for a bag for your food, glancing back as Aegon chews sadly on his burger. 

You get Aegon back to your place, and he wanders into the flat ahead of you. You watch him go with a soft huff, rolling your eyes. If everything else hadn’t convinced you, his attitude is proof positive that he’s from the past. He has all the entitlement of a prince and none of the consideration of those around him that modern men have (sometimes) gained. 

Your flat isn't much, two bedrooms and mostly paid for by your university. You had a flatmate for a time, but their sudden withdrawal left you without anyone and the school doesn’t seem to have noticed. Aegon can stay in the empty room until you figure him out. 

Aegon’s standing in your living room, staring in wonder at the decor you’ve collected over the course of your degree, at your television, maybe he’s just looking at all of it. He’s turning in a slow circle, eyes narrowed. 

“This is very nice for a commoner. Very strange, but it is not… disgusting.” He pauses in his assessing, looking between you and the ridiculous tapestry you purchased one night after far too many drinks. “Who is this man?”

“Oh, he’s this guy from a movie,” you say, not really processing that he won’t understand what a movie is. He stands there, dumbstruck, while you go to put your leftover food in the fridge. 

“A what?”

“Just… don’t worry about it. There’s going to be a lot for you to take in, but with any luck you won’t be here too long.” You come back over to him, taking him in. He looks out of place standing here in his king’s threads. “Let me get you something to wear.”

“There’s nothing wrong with this,” he says, shifting and taking in your clothes. “Where is your father? Your husband?”

“My father is in my hometown, and I don’t have a husband.”

“You live without a man?” He eyes you suspiciously. “A whore?”

“Okay,” you say, gently grabbing him by the shoulders and walking him over to the sofa. “Sit here, I have some men’s clothes lying around. Do not move.”

Aegon huffs, rolling his eyes and sitting back with folded arms. You wonder, as you go into your room to find something for him, if he’s heard the word ‘no’ very much in his life. It wouldn’t seem that way, but sometimes the way he reacts to you telling him off leaves you thinking otherwise. He’s a bigger mystery than you’ve ever faced, but something tells you he’s worth it.

You emerge after a while to see him flicking through the book you’d left on your coffee table, frowning. He looks up when you enter, setting the book down. “Your home is peculiar,” he informs you. 

“I know,” you say, handing him the soft clothes you’d found. “Student housing is kind of a lottery. You can get changed in the spare room, if you want. I’m going to go shower. If you get hungry, your leftovers are in that big white box there, okay?”

“Yes, yes, whatever.” 

You watch him enter the near-empty bedroom and shut the door, heaving a heavy sigh before you go off to your own room. You don't shower. Instead, you pull out your computer and set out to learn all that you possibly can about Aegon. 

What you learn twists your stomach into knots so tight you feel that they would trap the nausea that grips your throat from escaping. Aegon was no saint, no, but what you find is that his life is steeped in tragedy. If he believes himself to be king now but remains unburned by his cousin’s dragon, he must be near the end of his life; but the worst of his troubles have yet to begin. 

It is strange to think of the pathetic and bratty man in your flat as growing into the role of a king, if one could say he ever did. He seems nothing but a lost young man, unloved but for the power he afforded his Hightower family. 

The reports on him are so extensive and exhaustive that an hour has passed before you realise you haven’t been disturbed. You get up from your desk, wondering if Aegon has somehow wandered out of your flat and back onto the street.

When you open the door, you’re greeted by the sight of your kitchen cabinets strewn open, and your cheap bottle of vodka now empty on the counter. Aegon is sprawled on your sofa, cradling a novelty ceramic beer mug you won in a pub quiz in your first year. 

“Seven hells,” you mumble, going over to him and snatching the cup from him to be met with his whining protests. You sniff the cup, nose scrunching in disgust at the acetone-y smell. “Not even a mixer…”

Aegon looks up at you, trying to reach for the cup and whining your name. At least he changed into the sweats. The King’s Landing University jumper rather suits him, actually. 

“Please,” he says, looking even more closely akin to a wet cat. He seems on the verge of tears. “You’re pretty, do you know?”

“I’ve heard,” you say, setting the cup down on the coffee table and turning to him.

He grabs your wrist, tugging you closer with surprising strength considering how sloshed he is. “You’re so pretty,” he whispers. He almost sings your name. “Will you get me off?”

“Wh- Aegon!” You snap, tearing your wrist away. “No!”

“Please! Just your hand, you’ve got such soft hands!”

“Aegon,” you hiss. “No. You’re drunk. Even if I wanted to, that wouldn't be okay. You don't know what you're saying.”

Aegon pouts at you, falling back against the sofa and letting out a soft hiccup. “That doesn't make sense.”

“Maybe not in your time,” you say, grabbing him a blanket and laying it over him. “Gods- just- just try to get some sleep, okay? We’ll talk in the morning when you're fully sober.”

“I’ll die before that,” he says, snuggling up to the soft blanket with a ridiculous cartoon of a wolf on it. Another of your decor purchases you thought would be hilarious in the moment. You grab his cup and pour what’s left of the vodka into the sink before gathering up your remaining bottles and vowing to take them to the cabinet in your room with a lock. 

“Maybe. But if you vomit on my carpet, you’ll be paying the cleaning bill, your grace.”

part ii

[gothamite-rambler]

"You slashed his tires?" Dick asked, disappointed at the upcoming answer.

Inspired by Class of 09 mostly cause I imagine Jason would be there for Roy as a friend. I'm aware the characters that most of these lines are connected to are clinically insane, but I wanted to write this because I like their dynamic and it's just my silly headcanon fanfic.

Dick Grayson: Jason, I've been questioning this since you became friends with Roy.

Jason Todd (staring into his coffee): You're jealous he's my friend and not yours.

Dick (sincere): No, you're a good influence on him, I'm not upset about that. I noticed Oliver Queen seems to hate you a lot. Why?

Jason: We... We didn't have the best first meet up when I became friends with Roy.

Dick sat down and waved his hand for Jason to continue.

Dick: I have to hear this.

Jason: Okay... It’s a really funny story, you’re gonna laugh by the end of it.

Dick (sighing): I doubt it, but go on.

---Flashback (inspired by Class of 09)---

Roy and Jason entered Oliver Queen's mansion. Jason looks around, amazed to be in another rich person's house that isn’t his dad’s.

Roy: You think that cop bought our story?

Jason: Yeah, the other guy confirmed it while we ran off... we’re good. I’ll be right back; I have to fix this.

Roy watched as Jason walked over to a tilted painting in Oliver Queen’s house.

Roy: What are you doing?

Jason Todd (examining a framed picture of a flower): I can’t deal with this painting being crooked.

Jason aligned the frame. Roy laughed until he heard footsteps descending the stairs. He realized his father had come home early. Oliver Queen saw Roy and a strange man in his foyer.

Oliver Queen: Where have you been?

Roy Harper: I don’t know, are you a cop now?

Oliver: No note, no text— you could have died!

Roy: With how you handled my drug use, would you have cared?

Oliver: Get over it; you’re fine.

Jason (walking over): Roy, why’s this asshole yelling at you?

Oliver: And who’s this?

Roy: My… new friend.

Jason: We were at the mall, by the way, so you can stop grilling Roy.

Oliver: So I’m supposed to believe you two were at the mall all night?

Roy: What do you mean “all night”? We were there for like, what… two or three hours?

Jason (looking around): Yeah, two and a half. Like the show.

Oliver: It’s 1 in the morning!

Jason: Damn, we hung out with that guy that long?

Oliver: What guy?

Roy (nervous): Nobody.

Oliver: What guy, Roy?

Roy: Nobody!

Oliver: Tell me!

Roy (frustrated): Oh my God.

Oliver: Tell me or your friend has to go home!

Jason (amused): Cool, an ultimatum.

Roy (losing his cool): You really want to know?

Oliver: Yes! What guy was this?

Roy (shouting): The crackhead in front of the mall we sold weed to!

Oliver (shocked): Where did you even get—oh, you’re so stupid!

Roy: Oh, so you hate homeless people too?!

Oliver: My opinions about the homeless community are not the issue here! Dealing drugs in public—dealing drugs in general- it doesn’t matter if you sold them to get rid of them! How can you be so idiotic?!

Jason, irritated at Oliver yelling at his friend, steps in.

Jason: It was actually kind of smart.

Oliver (indignant): Excuse me?

Jason: You better fix your fucking tone with me before I slash your tires!

Oliver (offended): Who are you talking to?!

Jason: I’m talking to you, Green Arrow!

Oliver: How did you—

Roy: Ollie, funny story—

Oliver: Did you sell him crack or heroin? Did you tell him who I was for that smack, Roy?!

Roy, rubbing his arm shamefully, remains silent.

Jason: Who says “smack”? You 1950s gangster! I also love how you didn’t pretend you weren’t him; that’s how stupid you are! We sold weed to a crackhead, because what would a crackhead want with weed? Cops won’t expect that shit! It’s genius!

Oliver (mocking): Genius, really?!

Jason: Yeah! And he’s been sober for a few freaking years! So lay off him! We sold the weed because we had it left over from a mission! A mission you weren’t on! What did you want us to do, keep it? That’s dumb! We did a business deal and got rid of evidence. You should be thankful we don’t have it!

Roy (defiant): Yeah, so... why don’t you shut the fuck up?!

Oliver (smirk): What if I have you arrested? You’ll be able to walk, since your plan is so bulletproof!

Roy: No, wait, don’t do that!

Jason: Go the fuck ahead, asshole. They’ll believe us because we’re young and you’re old and dried up.

Oliver: That’s it, I don’t want you hanging out with him anymore!

Jason (angry): He can hang out with whoever the fuck he wants, bitch! So why don’t you go to your room, pour your little Cognac, watch M.A.S.H, and shut the fuck up or I’ll shove an arrow up your urethra!

Oliver: I can't believe you'd say that!

Oliver busted into tears and runs off.

Jason: God, that felt good. Wish I could say that to my dad.

Roy: Why don’t you?

Jason: He’ll write me out of the will.

Roy: Wow, huh... I think you broke him, so yeah, I get not saying that to Bruce.

Jason: I did break him... Awesome. I’m glad I defended you.

Roy: Honestly, I appreciate that, but we should leave. He’s going to be sobbing for a while.

Jason: And watching M.A.S.H?

Roy: It’s not on tonight.

---End of Flashback---

Jason: Then I stole some stuff from his fridge, slashed his tires, and we’ve had animosity toward each other ever since. Man, those were crazy times. Guess he hasn’t forgotten about it.

Jason sighed contentedly.

Dick (rubbing his forehead, exhausted): You do realize how that wasn’t okay, right?

Jason: Yes, but I helped Roy when he was struggling and got that Oliver prick off his case. I’ve done a lot for Roy, especially in helping him get full custody of his daughter. Oliver should be appreciating what his son has become. I am such a good person, you know that?

Dick (chuckling): I don’t disagree. At least you’re not the only one Oliver dislikes.

Jason: Who else does he hate?

Dick: Bruce. Long story.

[thatoneguydownthestreet]

________________________________

FEM ALIGNED DO NOT INTERACT

This is NOT an apocalypse yuu fic. Sorry if you clicked on this and got disappointed.

Yuus pronouns are he/him

Chacter: Ace

Notes: this is kind of open ended. I have to write in stealth mode now so it would take a while for something more. You guys eat Mexican food in this because Mexican food is the closest thing to heaven on Earth.

____________________

Someone's been stealing your cologne. On another note, your best friend is starting to smell like you.

Someone's been stealing your cologne.

It wasn't really noticeable at first, but after throwing away your second bottle in three months, you began to get suspicious.

The colonge you wore was strong, so it wasn't like you had to spray it a whole bunch of times to get it to stick. Just in the morning when you woke up and after PE.

You knew you weren't doing it any more than that, so where the hell did it all go?

You sighed. You were too tired for this. Morning classes had been currently kicking your ass. Well, they had always been kicking your ass, but it's been worse these past few days.

Grim was being a little shit. That bit hadn't changed, although according to Ace, Grim actually actually acts worse whenever you step out of the room. So Grim was somewhat saving you from annoyance at 8am and a headache. Small mercies.

Oh yeah.

Speaking of Ace. He'd been acting weird lately.

it wasn't strange for Ace, or any of the first years really, to spend the night at Ramshackle. Showing up in your dorm and staying there like a particularly determined cockroach seemed to be your dumbass friends first reaction to any real minor inconvenience.

Want to get away from your overbearing house warden for the night? Ramshackle.

Need a quiet place to study? Ramshackle.

You just spent one whole day without seeing your precious young master and need to stake out the one place he goes to get away from you? Ramshackle.

All in all, you were pretty used to waking up from one of your weird ass dreams about that one time you and your friend ate an entire Little Cesear's pizza in a church parking lot at the crackhead hours of the night, only to sit up and find someone duct taped to your wall, perfectly pasted out. While the perpetrators were peacefully sleeping on the floor under them. Curled up with one of the spare blankets that you keep laid out for this exact reason.

Or they're, you know, under your bed.

(Seriously Epel what the fuck)

So Ace being there? not suprising.

Ace being there alone, without at least Deuce there to babysit his ginger ass? Weird, but bound to happen sooner or later.

But Ace being there almost every day? Even after Riddle himself came knocking on your door once to drag him back to Heartslabyul? Yeah. No sorry, something was up.

Your mind races as it tried to come up with possibility after possibility, only to wind up with answers that didn't hold much substance to them, and could easily be disproved.

Riddle was being more overbearing lately?

Nah, if he was then deuce would've mentioned it. Also, you can't remember Ace showing up on your doorstep wearing an iconic heart-shaped collar recently. So that was a no.

Ace finally got fed up with all the weird noises Deuce makes in his sleep?

Possibly. But Deuce had spent the night over at Ramshackle just last week, and Ace made no obvious signs that he was having trouble sleeping right through the absolute wild shit Deuce was saying while unconscious.

He just slept better over here?

Your eyes immediately darted towards Grim and the ghosts.

Yeah, that idea was out.

So, with a little too much resolve, you took a deep breath and buried your face in your gloved hands as you sighed.

You could feel yourself sink down into the couch that took you what felt like forever to build. Oh yeah, and overpriced fabric you bought at the school store. Can't forget about that.

The fire crackled and Grim stopped his argument with the ghosts to look at you as you ran your fingers through your hair. Whoops.

You looked over at them with a face that you just knew showed exactly how tired you were with this.

Don't get the wrong idea here. Ace was certainly a handful but he wasn't really exhausting, he was quite the pleasure to be around actually.

When he wanted to be that was.

You don't know why you started thinking so hard about this. Maybe because exams were coming up and you needed a distraction.

Or maybe it was because he was being rather sweet on you lately. Well, as sweet as Ace could get.

You sighed again, and flopped your head against the back of the chair.

You should probably go to sleep.

.

.

.

Listen. Ace didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It just did and he doesn't know why.

He thinks it started when he woke up at Ramshackle after he stayed over dor the weekend and realized he forgot to bring his uniform shirt.

No big deal really. He could just grab one of your and return it the next day.

He thought.

Seriously, you didn't even notice! He'd probably have it returned by tomorrow morning!

He thought.

He thought until the compliments started rolling in.

The first one came from Cater, when he leaned in and asked if there was a new trend going around with sandlewood.

He was confused to day the least.

Then came Epel. Who asked to borrow whatever scent he was wearing to cover the flowery perfume he was wearing while still staying on Vils good side, since he would still smell nice.

Ace was getting a little creeped out at this point.

Then Jack of all people came up to him, sniffed the air like the dog he was, and nodded approvingly before walking away.

Ok. What the hell is going on?

He knew damn well he didn't wear sandalwood. And although the compliments were nice, save for the occasional passive aggressive ones from some upperclassmen with a stick up their ass, he still didn't know what to do with them.

So he did the only thing he could think of, and went to a mostly private area and started smelling his clothes like a weirdo.

Waistcoat, blazer, tie, they were all fine.

His shirt however, was what made him pause.

Oh yeah. This wasn't his.

...

If he stayed there for a minute longer with his friends shirt up against his nose like some sort of serial killer, then that was between him and the seven.

No one else needed to know.

True to his silent promise, he put in the request to riddle to saty another night at Ramshackle and all but ran over there.

He needed to return this ASAP.

But when he actually gets to your little run down dorm, he immediately stumbles on what to do. He didn't bring another shirt with him, so he would be taking your clothes either way.

Ace briefly considers turning back.

Ace then remembers its almost curfew and he'd have to face the wrath of one riddle rosehearts if he actually went back to the dorm.

Deuce can cover for him.

He better cover for him or ace was gonna snitch on him for eating an entire tart after he smoked weed with that epel kid.

Oh look, more blackmail! Nice.

And so, mind officially made up, he walked (strutted) up to the front door and knocked on it three times.

Inside, he could he the who knows how old staircase creak as you rushed down, and he could smell the savory scent of those weird sandwich things that you liked cooking.

("Perfect, what the hell is that?")

"..."

"You don't know what a taco is?")

Ace could feel himself smile.

Yeah, he made the right choice coming here.

The door swung open and that belief solidified.

That food smelled glorious.

Ace swears, whoever invented those taco sandwich thing is a damn genius.

And you looked ok he guessed.

You were still in your school pants, always eing a little too lazy to switch those out for regular ones when the last bell rang, but you did replace your shirt and blazer with a soft, expensive looking sweater that probably came from Crewel.

Crewel had taken pity on you in the first week of school and agreed to tutor you after class. And then you ended up teaching him about one of your friends dogs, whose specific breed didn't exist here.

From that point on, it was pretty clear that everyone's number one nightmare teacher had a favorite. Although you swore up and down you never got any special treatment.

Ace looked at the sweater again.

Yeah. Ok yuu. Ok.

You gave a little lazy smile and waved him in, not bothering to make sure he followed as you made your way towards the kitchens.

Judging from the lack of noise in there, Grim not included, you were alone tonight, which Ace could only sigh in relief about.

Sometimes, at least once a week, he would see Jade and Ruggie either walking around the dorm one second and then somehow seeing him in the kitchen the next (Jade), or rummaging through your spice drawer as you pretended not to notice the few extra jars of chili powder that mysteriously went missing afterwards (Ruggie).

He never knew why you never stopped him. You had less money than he did for sevens sake!

Ace never dared to ask these questions to you out loud though, just accepted that you were disgustingly nice and moved on with his day.

Now, he was grateful that you were so disgustingly nice, because this food was amazing.

There were plates and bowls in the middle of the table, all filled with some type of food.

A big plate of tacos that were stuffed to the brim with different kinds of meats and vegetables and cheese.

A bowl of tomato rice, which ace watched grim barely hold back from lunging at.

A bowl of mashed beans with melted cheese on top, which ace didn't touch, he was sure they were good! But he just didn't eat them that night.

And all kinds of other foods that he didn't try to pronounce. It was in some language that the schools translation spell didn't work on.

Aces plate was loaded, and you sat right across from him, Grim eating on the other side of the table. The room was warm. Everything smelled nice. He could see the garden you and Jack were attempting to grow just outside the window that was once broken in.

It all felt so...nice.

He think this is where it started.

Because you never did get that shirt back.

Ace knows what's going on. It took him a minute to come to terms with the fact that you were a boy, the fact he liked boys, but he knew what was going on.

He'd had a girlfriend once, he knew what he was feeling.

And he didn't know what to do with it.

Ace didn't want romance right now. He wanted to run wild, as wild as he could with Riddle around every corner. He wanted to pull pranks, he wanted to puss off deuce, he wanted to learn how to use his magic, and he wanted to make friends.

He wanted you to be friends. You don't even have a guaranteed time left here. So why, why was he catching feelings?

...it fine. It's all fine. He can shove this down and ignore it.

He tells himself he'll just ignore it.

Ignore it while he sleeps just beside your bed.

Ignore it while you (even rarely) get to have dinner alone.

Ignore it while he steals a sweater or two, sweaters you didn't get from Crewel.

Ignore it while he riffles in your drawers looking for that bottle of cologne that got him so many compliments, the cologne that you also wore.

...Ace sighed.

He really sucked at lying to himself like this.

.

.

.

"I just don't know where it's going. I don't use that much, do I?", you weren't really desperate for an answer, you were just getting confused.

You only used that cologne on your wristes and your neck, with a occasional sprits one a shirt if you were trying to make an impression, which, you never really were.

So where the hell was it all going?

Vil just pursed his lips and leaned back from where he sat across from you. Sighing like he always did when he didn't have an answer but could just feel it on the tip of his tongue.

"I don't know what to tell you, I'd be happy to lend you some of mine, for a few favors, of don't look at me like that, just look after epel for a few hours while I'm not there and we're good"

You sighed.

"I don't need to borrow any, thanks, it's not that big of a deal, I just want to know if Grim is dumping it or one of the guys is using it or something"

Vil blinked. Like something in his brain just clicked into place.

"I could...ask Rook to look into it.."

"...Did you just make a pun?"

[jammerskrik]

honestly I’ll never have a job as funny and wild as old 1950s cumbies. I think that’s probably the top silliest stupid job I’ve ever had. I had a coworker named kilfeather who was a late thirties obese literal fedora’d neckbeard, who unfailingly made the various (East Asian) women of Boston uncomfortable by being on brand to the point of addressing them as ‘M’lady,’ and split his time between manga and atheist reddit boards and masturbation. He gave his entire savings to The Occupy Movement, then rebuilt it only to then give it all to Bernie Sanders… he was Irish white trash from one of the most depressed towns in western mass, his parents were farmer-descended biker gang ppl that he dropped out of nineth grade to caretake once the cigarette genocide got them. He used to give me impassioned speeches about how the most important issue of our time is centering black and brown voices, and then, without fail, partially magic and partially because our boss was a black lady from Cali that hated most other African Americans, something beautiful and so fucking ironic and hilarious would happen.

Best was when we had to run down inventory to shut the gas station down around January 2019, our boss interrupted one of Kilfeather’s woke speeches about worshipping ppl darker than him to tell him to go clean out the little cup shed with me and Rokon, a banglandeshi indo-muzzy immigrant who at the time didn’t speak any English yet. Rokon began tossing all the spare foam coffee cup rolls out of the shed to me so I could bag them up, as Kilfeather waddled up through snowfall that was beginning to accumulate to watch us and, perhaps if the opportunity presented itself, resume his anti-racist speech.

About a minute later, Rokon had run out of cups and was suddenly madly pulling up endless flattened layers of shipping cardboard that had formed the flooring beneath the cup rolls, and I mean like decades of layers of flattened cardboard, the station was original from 1951 and the bottom decade or two had become dust and dirt. I stopped helping at my disgust threshold and just stood beside kilfeather in the snow watching R manically pry out every layer and heave it into a comically large pile as if his life depended on it until he suddenly froze. He stood there for a few moments, turned and looked at me n kilfeather, then smiled wide, disappearing into the small old shed like laughing, but a strange rare laugh to hear from a man like that; he squealed with absolute delight then vanished. Kilfeather looked at me like, what? does this mean??

But I didn’t get to reply because Rokon had emerged from the shed holding some kind of giant frozen tangled black disk about a meter in diameter. Kilfeather and I were both immediately instinctually repulsed though neither of us could really process what the disk was in that moment, as Rokon stood there dusted in snow and beaming… but we realised right as he spun around like a discus thrower, launching a massive frozen-solid City of Boston Real Life Rat King into Kilfeather’s face and chest.

There were two black crackheads from Kentucky who would stand outside the gas station like Jay and Silent Bob -style and by this point they were watching in the background, as was our boss. The Crackheads began heckling/roasting the fuck out of Kilfeather and calling him a faggot, and he let out a whine to our boss lady, to see if she could please make the addicts of colour stop calling him the f-slur. she was super Christian and super racist and she gracefully walked to Kilfeather through the snow and was like ‘well baby, I am worried that you never stand up for yourself, if Rokon hadda thrown that at me I wouldda whooped his ass to Death on the spot!’

idk cumbies was super funny

[peanutbutter-doodles]

Dirty little Secret 18+ Mdni

Character : Neo cortex

⚠️ Warnings : Masturbation , Sex toys, Fingering , Dirty talk, pining (sort of?), fantasies, Vaginal, Ask to tag.

Summary :

''What the?'' Cortex quietly whispered, A little bewildered on how the same ad popped up now when he was just going to get off the computer. Ad always popped up but they were always different this was new, even for him.

Netherless, He read the ad over and it was the same thing but however something was different now. It gave Cortex a strange feeling. A feeling he usually ignores and never does anything for it. Feelings he feels for someone when he actually wants them.

A feeling that makes his cun.....

Cortex slowly sunk down onto the slick dildo, Quivering. instantly feeling his walls stretch around it, filling him.

''Fuck....'' He Hissed, gripping the pillow below him. It was too big for him, He should've check the size before he started this but was too distracted to do so due to it being a package he'd been waiting for months now.

He seen the object on a website late one night, when he was trying to get some research done and trying to finally figure out how to get rid of the pesky bandicoot. While he was doing some research, going from site to site. Tons of articles that can fill a room and enough coffee to go through to become a crackhead.

He stumbled upon a ad.

A shady but promising ad that can catch anyone's attention if they're willing to click on it that's all. A ad that can fulfil Anyone's needs if they were desperate enough. One that would appear in there time of need, and one hopefully with the right words that would reel the clicker in there grasps.

The words from what cortex can remember were....

Stressed out? Can't complete your work due to inconspicuous actions in your life? A partner that's not satisfying you at all? Or no partner at all? Lonely, discourage or probably even titillated?

Perhaps, this will help you if you just click right here and now~

Just. One. Click. Away.

The ad sounded promising but Cortex knew from experience that clicking on a ad and buying stuff from it was never a good idea. No Matter how they sounded or look they never come out like they actually are from the ad and always have to cost a lot of money.

He didn't want to spend money on something worthless that would not work for him. It would be dumb of him to do so.

Besides that, Yes he was lonely. Haven't never gotten close with anyone in his life or even formed healthy relationship with anyone. It wouldn't be good for him. Sure, he had crushes but never worked out especially if it's someone that he works with and sometime hates. it would never happen.

Stressed out? Everyone's stressed out not just him. Never had the time to just relax or destress with a quick session. Too preoccupied with world domination to even vacation.

Titillated? Fuck yeah, all the time. But it ain't always satisfying when it's just your hand or when it's fantasies. Fantasies that are often boring or too out there that you probably don't want to do when there's people nearby.

Cortex thought a little about it, didn't seem to care. So, he just closed the ad and continued on with his work till 3 am.

3 Am where things happen. Strange occurrences and probably even....

Naughty ones.

After he finished with everything and finally going to get some shut eye, the same ad from before popped up.

''What the?'' Cortex quietly whispered, A little bewildered on how the same ad popped up now when he was just going to get off the computer. Ad always popped up but they were always different this was new, even for him.

Netherless, He read the ad over and it was the same thing but however something was different now. It gave Cortex a strange feeling. A feeling he usually ignores and never does anything for it. Feelings he feels for someone when he actually wants them.

A feeling that makes his cunt soaking wet with need.

it was called concupiscent or in simple terms

Horny.

Cortex thought it was strange, usually it was hard for him. But as of now, it's just appeared easily and it was stirring little by little. He wanted to just touch himself but was too tired to do so maybe next ti-

FOR FREE TODAY!

When those words appeared, it got Cortex curious. What could it be when the same ad came back the same except it has the words free now. In Bright green.

He looked at it while it glows brightly from the screen, it was like he was in a weird trance. it captivated him, what could it be then?

Secrets to finally beating crash?

World domination?

Eternal happiness?

A New world?

Who knows except for cortex of course, only one click and it'll all be revealed.

In slow motion as time stood still, Cortex made a decision.

''Click''

Clicking the ad, brought him to a website. A website he never been on or heard of before.

It was called, Bad dragon.

''Bad dragon? Cortex said, ''What could be so bad about it?'' Cortex wondered, Looking at the site. He seen the words.

Making Fantasies Real.

The words leaving a strange taste in his mouth, as he read it. Strange taste he never had before but it made him salivate a little, He wiped a little drool off him using a tissue nearby.

Going thru the site was a experience to say the least, from pillows to shirts till the sex toys and my god. the sex toys.

from human like to whatever, It Shocked Cortex. He didn't know a site like this existed and how much dirty things were on there, pages to pages. It never stopped.

Things like this kind of was making Cortex feel like he had to go church to cleanse himself from the debauchery he was seeing, Too bad there was none around on the island.

After spending few minutes of searching and...Browsing, He found a really Realistic toy that look too real. Complete with veins, Smooth texture, Big balls and can be customizable if ya want a special one.

He looked at it and the longer he looked it, He drooled and Blushed at the sight of it becoming hot.

It looked so tantalizing to him. Tantalizing enough that he even wanted to suck on it.

Just the thought of it, Made Cortex slid his hand down into his pants. Pulling down his boxers between his thighs. Fixing his position and leaning back onto the chair.

He started to finger himself, biting his lip. His vagina was sensitive to the texture of his gloves he wearing and it was making it better and worse. Going against the skin gave Cortex a static shock feel of sort.

His finger going in and out, as he became wet. Making him moan.

He wanted a whole fist in him but he wasn't that brave enough to do it, it would hurt him.

Focusing on himself, It starting to get extremely good.

Bucking his hips up, Gripping the arm chair, Squeezing his legs together. Fingering himself more going up to three fingers instead of just being one.

Teeth going into his lip making him actually bleed.

Everything was Perfect!

''Yes..Yes...Yes..Ho-''

Till it wasn't.

''KNOCK!!!''

A loud knock was heard banging on his door as well a voice instantly catching him off guard and stopping his session.

''Master, You Busy in there?!?!'' The Voice said.

It sounded like N gin.

''Damn it!'' Cortex Grunted, Pissed off and annoyed now.

''I'm Coming in Now!''

''SHIT!!!'' Cortex pulled his pants up as the door began to open. He forgot to lock it! Fast as a speeding cheetah, He managed to clean his hands, fix the chair, his clothing and fix himself in a nick of time.

N Gin's foot came in as he stepped inside the room.

Cortex took a small breath before he turned facing N Gin.

''What do you need Gin? He asked, trying his best to not sound irritated.

N Gin stood there in silence with a blank stare, not saying anything.

Standing in silence for a few minutes aggravated Cortex, He was about to say something till Gin spoke Up.

''What website are you on? Doctor?'' He asked, Seeing bits of the website behind Cortex's head.

''Web-Website? What are you Ta-'' Stammering, He turned around. Not realizing he was still on that site. He Quickly exited out.

Clicking Twice.

Sweating profusely, turning around. Seeing N gin smile weirdly. It Freaked Cortex out.

''You saw Nothing Now, You Hear me? Nothing!''

N Gin shrugged his shoulders.

''Gin? Listen to me. Nothing!''

N Gin looked around giggling creepily.

''Gin, You listening to me?''

''As always Master.''

''Good...'' Cortex sighed, relieved.

''Now what did you want from me?''

And Just Like That, N Gin walked out.

''You got to be fucking kidding me.'''

The Rest was history after that.

XxXxXxX

Where were we now? Ah Yes.

Cortex was now laying against the pillow he was gripping harshly with the dildo half way in filling him up already.

Quivering as he just laid there taking in the sensation and trying to catch his breath while panting and whimpering. Laying there like a bitch in heat.

''S-s-So Full...Already..'' He stammered, Realizing he should've just checked the size once again but was too distracted. Distracted by the thick, girthy and veiny cock in him that stretched and rubbed against his walls effortlessly without even moving it himself. A cock that can give him a good night of pleasure if he just moved. A Cock with nothing attach to it.

One he's in complete control of.

And can grant him a good orgasm as well.

He was in control, no one can stop or humiliate him. or destroy anything. He actually has a goal, one that can be completed with no worries at all. This peaked him.

Realizing this, he sat up. Sinking onto the cock more now, grunting. Letting out a few whines too.

The Cock was now fully in him in all of it's glory.

Sweating, Eyes heavy, Shaking even Drooling.

He took a deep small breath and then....

Started to ride.

Viscously.

Slowly at first to fully savor the lovely sensations the cock was giving him. Clutching the pillow, lifting his hips up making the cock come out halfway then going back down pushing it all the way in.

Cortex did it a few more times feeling his Pussy starting to swell with heat and get wet the more he did it. Establishing a rhythm, that was making his face grow hot and burn.

The slow rhythm was making him melt.

He shook and whined, the tip going at his g spot lightly each time he went down.

It was working for him, but not enough.

Stopping his motions, he tried fantasizing. hard.

About who?

N.gin? Nah he probably be too annoying and won't get it up if he tried. N. Brio? Would be somethin...but definitely no. Uka uka?

Fuck no, How would that be possible. Cortex chuckled.

He was lost in thought till he looked around and saw a clock on the wall and that's when it hit.

The man he worked with all these years, the one he doesn't like sometimes due to differences, The man who rescued him a couple of times when he was defeated in battle. The man who could turn back time.

the one and only,

Dr. N tropy.

Who sometimes leave cortex feeling a bit flushed afterwards when they are working together.

''Tropy...'' Cortex blushed, embarassed by even thinking and grow hot cause of him. He hated it.

Hated how that man set him off at times.

A secret he wished hopefully no one would ever find out, His dirty little secret.

He started moving again, closing his eyes. thinking of N Tropy.

XxXxXxX

''Have You ever suck a dick before?'' Tropy smirked, chuckling a little at Cortex who was on his knees licking and sucking his cock. Cortex ignored him, trying to keep focus.

''I Guess that's a no then. Who knew your also bad at satisfying people, Do i need to become your master to teach you~?'' He sang, going on and on taunting cortex not knowing it's turning Cortex on.

His Pussy leaked, Good thing he was wearing black pants. Otherwise, it would've been a lot worse.

Cortex stroked and sucked him harder, hollowing his cheeks out.

Tropy groaned, Cortex going little by little down on him. Bobbing his head up and down.

Scene changes in Cortex head.

''Am i your first?'' Tropy softly asked, pressing cortex up against the shower glass. lightly stroking his back.

''Y-Yes-no-it's been a while...'' Cortex stammered, Feeling his walls stretched from the fleshy appendage. Shaking, His legs almost giving out on him.

''Do you want me to go slow?''

Tears peaking out, cortex answers.

''Please.''

N Tropy says nothing, only giving cortex kiss on his neck and phantom touches on his body as he starts to thrust.

He held cortex hips steady in his grip, so he wouldn't slip.

The moment between is pure bliss as Tropy and Cortex make love, The water racing from the shower head only making the moment between them better.

Tropy grunts while Cortex whines.

''Can i please look at you?'' See your face when i fill you with my seed? Making sure i give you the best fuck of your life?'' Tropy said, brushing his hand through cortex's hair and caressing him.

The Scene changes again.

Tropy Pounds into Cortex's ass, Slapping him leaving a big red handprint on him.

Cortex grips the table as Tropy goes ham on him.

''Dr!!! Cortex cried.

''What's Wrong, Pet? Cumming already? I'm not done with you yet!'' Tropy Yanked on Cortex's leash, Almost choking him.

Cortex coughed, trying to catch his breath.

The moment between them was intense, Tropy leaving marks and bruises all over. Calling him names and such.

''You've been a bad boy haven't you? Pleasuring yourself during a meeting, you thought i wouldn't noticed? Neo, i thought you knew better than that.''

''I Wasn't--AH--!!!''

''I was Right behind you, You forget i was there? Was your hand better than my cock!'' Tropy slammed in him, Hips meeting ass.

''Was it better than my hand? He slammed again.

''NO IT WASN'T!!! Cortex yelled.

A few more violent thrusts in, Tropy yanked Cortex completely to him. Holding him by his thighs.

''I wanna look at you when i come in you! You whore!''

One More Thrust in and Then....

XxXxXxX

Tears streamed from his face, as Cortex cried out.

Slamming his hips down faster at the his fantasy of N tropy fucking him, degrading and humiliating him plus much more. He didn't stop at all, The fire in his abdomen became stronger.

He became louder, he didn't care at this point. He only cared what's happening right now and how it's effecting him.

Would the real N. tropy be even gentle to him? Treat him nicely and take care of him after? or would he just fuck him raw?

Touch him or Choke him out?

Pet him or Yank his hair?

or even call him....

A Good boy?

Who knows, but the thought of it entices him more.

Fluids seep onto the bed, pussy becoming so moist. Gripping onto the pillow more, It's tearing a little he doesn't even notice. Doesn't even a strange noise when he moans loudly into the air like a slut.

He falls onto the bed clinging to it, Rapidly thrusting that sweet and delicious fat cock into him. Clenching around it, brought him closer to his goal.

He rode and rode, flicking and pinching his clit Eventually fingering himself. ''Oooooh this feels amazing'', He cried. Finger feeling like another cock in him, going against the dildo.

It was like heaven.

Sweat ran off his body, Hair disheveled, Leaking so much like a waterfall. Whimpering so much, anyone could hear.

A Filthy mess, he was.

Nearing his climax, he wanted it so badly. To Cum, Make a bigger mess.

He started to chant, words he never thought he say outload yet he was saying with no shame or embarassment.

''Tropy please.....let me cum....''

''Faster....'''

''I'm your whore....use me more please....''

''Cum in me.....''

'''Let me feel you release into me!''

''On my face please!''

''Tropy.....''

Cortex chanted more till he got stuck on one that urged him.

''I'm a good boy.''

''I'm a good boy.''

''i'm a good boy.'' He repeated over and over again, fucking like a rabbit in heat and then it happened.

''I'M YOUR GOOD BOY!'' Cortex Howled, Muscles tightening as he clenched finally Cumming and squirting at the same time, Mumbling out inaudible words that he doesn't even know what's he saying. Eyes rolling back.

He fell onto the back of the bed, panting. Shaking like a leaf, rubbing his thighs together feeling the total wetness between them. Fluids coming out more.

''That....was....'' Cortex trailed, didn't even have the words to describe what he experienced.

All he does know, is that he reached his goal and he was joyous about it.

Also, it was a explosive orgasm. the best one he had in decades.

Tired and sated, he wanted to go to sleep immediately but he has to take the cock out but he doesn't want to cause it's too good and probably he'll get overstimulated if he does. Then Again, it would be uncomfortable to just leave it in and just fall asleep. What if it gets stuck and has to go to the hospital? It would be embarrassing and a story to tell.

However, he could imagine someone cockwarming him and so he did.

Cortex went to bed completely covering himself with a new batch of blankets.

Laying there all comfortably now, He imagined someone probably even N Tropy holding or sleeping while there cock was in him as he twitch and let out a few breaths.

He was getting all hot and bothered, Feeling Himself, wanting to go again. Yet he didn't, he has dreams. Dreams he hopes will give him more.

His eyes fell, almost slumbering but not before saying.....

''N tropy....'' He muttered.

Eventually Falling asleep in peace.

And not Noticing or Hearing his door close as he slept. Behind the door, outside his room stood a figure.

A tall figure, with a shocked and heated look on his face.

Dr. N tropy.

______________

it is kind of true that cortex is hard to write XD, well anyway~

Comments and Reblogs are appreciated~

If wish to be tagged, message or inbox me.

Also On A03!

I Hope you guys enjoyed this!

[huh-1260]

doublebattleshipping but PLA

I have been consumed by the brainrot that is doublebattleshipping and PLA AUs that I make at night with my other crackhead ideas. Okay so like after Ingo gets Hisu'ed, Emmet gets a therapy/emotional support Walking wake because fuck yes thank you @bottle-of-harpoons for this Crack head of an idea, because I love me some good mental health (He was in Paldea for Teracrystallisation not because of time travel Boogaloo dang it. Also to see if Emmet can make battle strategy with it or ban it from the subway because it's to big SAFEY FIRST) Most of the paradox forms are ban from the subway because too big or will fuck up the train in battle. A year pass and Evelyn and Emmet start dating in secret from the media because the media always ruins a good relationship. They marry. ( Ingo now has been gone for 4 years they been dating for 2) the media catches on, they have twins named Rei and Akari ( it was suppose to be Akira it means Ideal but Emmet was verry tired and it was Akari but it could mean like the lights in gearstation or as in "up" because one of Rei's meaning is "return, resume, go backwards" :) I'm so funny. The reason why Akari looks like Dawn is because she is her Idol much to Iris disappointment. Rei is just a coincidence. Either way Dawn is in Hisui just doing Galaxy team thing and oh look two children fall from the sky, they both look like Survey corps members Rei and Akari (dawn and Lucas) but they also look a bit like Warden Ingo? Dawn takes them to Jubilife village because what kind of sicko leaves two kids that are like 5 or 6 in the wilds. Ingo is there at Jubilife this time when Dawn kicks down the doors ( not really) going " Holy Helix! Ingo I found kids!" Lucas looks at the kids then to warden Ingo then to the two unconscious kids in Dawn's arms. " Ingo did you spawn kids?" Ingo give a face of confusion. Akari awakens and says it very bluntly that her father would be proud, " I am Akari what the heck am I." Ingo's fragments of memories are screaming because she acts like Emmet. Rei wakes up and the first thing he does is cry, because he is in a strange place that guy looks like his dad and he just got kidnapped by some look a likes. Akari bites Dawn and Dawn yelps and drops them both, the siblings run Ingo, Dawn, and Lucas chase after them they are on the pokemon battle field, Akari pulls out her Pokeball which Rei does too, Lucas is so confused right now. Dawn is hesitant about fighting two little children. Akari screams "Fight me coward!" She smells the her hesitation. " I am Akari. And this is my little brother Rei, I like to win more than anything else!" " I am Rei, w-will your tracks line up towards v-victory or will you be crushed in defeat." Both children yelled, " ALL ABOARD!" Akari sends out a strange Zorua, and Rei sends out Axew. Ingo is getting flashs, Akari sends out her Decidueye, Rei sends out Pikachu. " Zorua use sludge bomb on the bird!" " Pikachu use Iron tail." " Axew make sure it doesn't hit you!" " It has sludge bomb!!?'

_____________________________________

(Akari and Rei lost their pokemon are Level sixteen to 20 they couldn't beat 62 level pokemon. Not even with enough plot armor)

" I am Akari, I lost." She mumbled. " F-fair play," her brother said, " You were very strong trainers." Ingo was having flashbacks where have he heard scripts, (scripts?) Similar to those children.

Meanwhile: Emmet

When his kids went missing, and team Neo Plasma was trying to gain power, his first instinct was to destroy them, which he did, Rosa live streamed it. Then future Volo tries to convince Emmet to his side saying I know where his kids are at, which lead to Evelyn and Emmet beating the living crap out of him. I mean Volo it sounds like you kidnapped them or work with the person who kidnapped them. And then Arceus because he needs to get to Hisui to protect his kids. And now they in Hisui. Emmet has Chandelure out to track their soul energy, and Evelyn grabs him to check the sky for higher ground with her Latios, remember Latios pokedex says it can go to Mach 4 so it's really fast so imagine your Sabi, you are flying with Lord Braviary and your vision says hey something fast and blue is going to pass you and you turn and a streak of blue flys by and then you see in your vision that was a Ingo in white and a women in blue. Wait what.

They end up in Jubilife village, so people panic because Emmet wears white and red, you know who else is white and red, Hisuian Zoroark. Akari and Rei sees them, and scream, " Mama! Papa!" While running to them. " Rei! Akari!" They hug, family reunion. (Looks at Ingo)

" Kids" Evelyn said.

" Yes mom?" Both their children replied.

" Your grounded."

" Whyyyyyyy?" Akari

" You uncoupled your trains from ours." Their father said.

" Emmet?"

Emmet turns around to only stare at his missing brother, and is that the Chamion of Sinnoh??

"Ingo?!"

"Your married???"

"You look like you got ran over by a train?"

Cue akward family reunion Between brothers.

[brave-symphonia]

A little bit of bookending on the end of the kaido fight. Kaido leaves the story the same way he entered it: falling a million miles an hour into the ground head first.

I would also like to point out in a Jump Festa letter 2-3 years ago, Oda stated that kaido was an enemy that "needed more than just a giant punch to defeat" Luffy beats Kaido with an absolutely giant punch.

Also can we talk about how crazy all of onigashima was from Kaido's perspective?

Like man thought he would throw and absolute keg busting rager, before he would ally with his former superior/rival/potential baby mama to create an anarchist state and begin his plan to get the one piece only for these 9 samurai who he thought had dealt with to show up bearing a 20 year long grudge and 15000 guys with swords, along with 3 of the most notorious pirate crews in recent history. They drag him up to the roof of your house where he proceeds to get jumped Jujutsu Kaisen style. He gets to watch as a literal army of furries manhandle his giant mammoth pet. After dealing with that he then teams up with his former shipmate to fight a punk rock wannabee, daft punk dual weilding chainsaws, a egde lord with a certified PhD, a guy with more swords than brain cells and a crackhead. Kaido then spends a good portion of the night dealing with that until the crackhead says, "nah, I'd win" and sends everyone else back down stares. He then proceeds to fight the now coked up crackhead for the majority of the night. And when kaido finally kills this crackhead, he realized he done fucked up by somehow triggering an ancient prophecy from the before times that heralded the second coming of literal Pirate Jesus. Crackhead Pirate Jesus proceeds to then whoop Kaido's ass using the power of God, anime and Saturday morning cartoons.

I had not considered that he left the story the same way he entered, that's actually a really cool parallel.

And I had heard about that quote, that Kaido needed more than just a giant punch to defeat. I've heard people say it's evidence that Oda doesn't know what he's doing, because he said Kaido wouldn't lose to a punch, but he said he wouldn't lose to "just" a punch.

I'd say Luffy awakening his devil fruit on his 3rd attempt at Kaido, after taking him on with two other Supernovas, ending in an absolutely giant punch, I'd say that's more than just a giant punch.

And yeah, fair enough, from Kaido's perspective, that must have been very strange. Not to mention the fact his own son showed up to personally fight him in the middle of all that.

Kaido having to beat Luffy multiple times is very funny. I think just that night, he knocked him down off Onigashima once, knocked him out a second time, only for him to awaken his devil fruit.

Just imagining Kaido be like "you have got to be fucking kidding me, again?" as Luffy gets back up yet again with new cartoon powers, that's just very funny.

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

To the Floor, From the rat

Sukuna x Reader crack

@kmayafk and @ari-tart-3114 helped out with this

By: 3 crackheads (HAHA! YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ONE BUTS ITS ACTUALLY dio- i mean THREE 👹)

Disclaimer: dangerous amounts of crack ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED hehehe 👹. totally scary topics like rats with…penis??

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary: you are Sukuna’s maid and you’re paid to clean his enormous penthouse (and maybe something ELSE enormous but who really knows 👀). 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good god not the floors again!

Why does Master Sukuna always have me clean the floors?! Like, I could be cleaning literally anything else, but it’s always the floors *cries*. 

Maybe he just wants to see my non-existent ass? Who fucking knows at this point.

I rarely see the guy too. It's always a little rear glimpse here and maybe a sliver of hair there

He only tells me these things via text too, like I’ve never heard his voice. The other maids are starting to spread rumors around him. 

Some say he’s like ultra hot but an absolute dick but also that he’s like incredibly smart and doesn’t fuck around (his bedsheets really do beg to differ though, like good god the amount of cum stains on his bedspread)

He’s been having female visitors and it always ends with the woman crying and running away (coward). 

Some of the maids say his female visitors run away purely from seeing how enormous his cock is. Some even say it's because he continues till the visitor faints, even after they say no. 

Another says they run away from his expectations and are only there for their own pleasure

So now he just goes to hotels and such because why bring those women to his house and waste his time

Oh geez, thinking about Master Sukuna made me go toward his room.

Though I know he isn’t home and he didn’t ask me to clean up his room but hey what could be the harm though there’s still flooring in there so technically…

So now I find myself in his room with my jaw hitting the floor with how large it is. I look around more and find a wall full of pictures of women with “x” marks on them. 

Is he “thank you next” ing them?!?!

Before I can process, I see a small stash of pictures of the maids.

Oh no, oh no. He isn't-

“And who gave you permission to enter my room?”

I turn around and see him.

Sukuna.

“The floor gang!” I shouted at the strange unfamiliar man, supposedly the master of this house. It was almost as if a quest to get fired popped up.

Sukuna closed his eyes and sighs. He grabs a cigarette and proceeds to smoke. I look at him, wondering if he is going to fire me, or worse. 

It was then a tiny little furball scampered across the room. It seemed to be a screaming kitten that appears to have fallen into a trashcan as he was covered in trash. 

“QUICK GET THAT RAT” Sukuna screamed, causing me to jolt. 

“But master Sukuna why would you have a cat and not see it as such?”I chased the supposed kitten, now fearing for my life.

 As I tried to pounce on it, the kitten screamed out a weird noise. “SHEEEEEEESHH”

“Jeez you can’t even catch a small cat, what the fuck did I hire you for again?!?!”

“To make vegan eggs”

“Oh yes. You do make a pretty bussin vegan omlette”

Sukuna laughs, but then realizes something.  “Wait…What even the fuck is a vegan omlette?”

“A spicy version of connect 4” I answered snarkily.

“i-I what?”

Sukuna begins to look at me confused, but proceeds to keep his composure. 

“Don’t change the subject. Why were you in my room?”

“Well you see…” I looked around the room for an excuse and for a moment I didn’t have one

But catching sight of a statue on the floor that was clearly soiled. “That. I had to clean that, it’s clearly a biohazard.” “This?” Sukuna picks up the statue, showing some sort of mythical creature, a groundhog perhaps? No. A rat. Some will say it is a rat penis. 

“Y-yes sir it looked like it made a mess everywhere sir” 

“There is no need.” He quickly pocketed the questionable statue. “But since you’re here, I have a favor to ask of you…”

Ooooooh is it finally happening?!?! The moment all of us maids have been waiting for?!?!

“Can you draw what exactly a rat penis is??”

OH WHAT THE HECK??

Before I can even say anything, the world around me begins to fade away. My eyes start to feel exhausted. 

“Why am I feeling so… sleepy?”

“I see the drug is finally taking its effect on you”

I look at him, and gasp in shock. No way, how in tarnation was he able to drug me while we talked about the rat penis?

“WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO DRUG ME WHAT THE FUCK?”

“By the very statue that led you here. It was diffusing sleep powder into the air that only works on scrubs like yourself.” Sukuna grinned over my collapsed form on the ground. 

I start to feel very dizzy. The last thing i see is Sukuna’s smirking face. 

“You shouldn’t have come in here naughty pet”

“Now put these on” He held out a headband with some strange animal ears along with a long pink tail clip thing. 

Funny how he thinks I have the strength to do so

LE TIMESKIP

I wake up, for some reason, very sore, 

My neck.

My back.

WHY AM I SORE. AND WAIT A MINUTE….

AM I WEARING A RAT COSTUME??

AND TIED UP TO THE BED?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

AM I A RAT OR AM I A LADY?!? 

I notice a piece of paper next to the bed lamp. The paper said. 

Once a rat, always a rat.

I fume in anger. 

“Ah, it seems you’ve finally awakened” The monster I've come to know as Sukuna walks in, with the most punchable look on his face. If only I wasn’t tied up like this, I’d send this jerk flying. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. I WAS DRUGGED AND YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WHY IS MY BACK SORE?”

“It’s not my fault you hit the ground too hard.” {hehe you thought us 3 did something there} He walks over with an intense stare especially at the rat costume. 

I close my eyes. I look at the handcuffs, and rip it from the bed. 

“You really thought this was going to contain me?” mistake number 1 as I would later find out

“This is what it means to go even further beyond!” I charge at Sukuna, not caring for the consequences. “PLUS ULTRA” I swung as hard as I could, but at the last second my back gave out and I became like a worm on the floor writhing in pain. And he dodged it 

“Pathetic. Did you expect me to praise you?”

I look at him and give him a matching grin

“No, but look what I have”

I grab the same drug he used on me. His eyes go wide

“Wait-”

I spray it on him and he immediately goes to sleep. 

I make sure that he is asleep and immediately run out of the room. I grab my things from the servant quarters and run for it. Various maids looked on as I ran, I realized that I am still wearing the rat costume (AHHH SHIIIIIT).  

I then realize that I am like all those other women he fucks with, except dressed like a rat. I cannot be in a room with that… monster.

But is it cowardly to quit? Maybe. Is it the best option for the time being? Yes.

It truly is a shame he’s hot. During our encounter I noticed many MMA awards on his walls on that luscious deep red paint coat.

“I see the rat has found my awards” It was as if Sukuna had teleported behind me. 

I jump. HOW THE FUCK WAS HE AWAKE AND I HAD CRASHED?!

“Using my very own rat penis against me… Perhaps you are the one I’ve always been searching for.” With a swift grasp, he grabbed me like a potato sack, but more like a rat sack…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN” I fought against him, pulling his hair like a child.

He pulled me into an embrace, not letting me go. 

“You really gotta tone down the rat fetish man”

Sukuna’s grin only widened. “You sure are feisty. I think I’ll keep you, my little rat.” He isn’t fazed in the slightest by my attacks. 

I try to think of a smart remark to say back, but I can’t. This weird feeling I am having cannot be described in words. 

“You can keep me, but the rats gotta go,” I blurted out without thinking.

“...”

“So you’re saying I can keep you?” Sukuna’s eyes glistened mischievously. Surely he was plotting something to get his way, after all he firmly believed in his favorite quote: “Once a rat, always a rat”.

“NO GET YOUR STUPID RAT PENIS OUT OF MY FACE”

He grabs me by the waist and carries me bridal style (insert wedding music)

Afraid of falling, I instinctively clutched onto him, which caused Sukuna to have the most annoying grin on his face. At this point, I’d much rather be dropped. Afterall the floor is basically my home in this accursed place. 

“So my little rat…” Sukuna looked down at me, “Where to next?”

I look at Sukuna.

“The Floor, you dumb rat”

“Who’s the rat now?” I cackle.

The end fool.

Or not 👀.

69 likes and it could happen.

The retuuuuurn of the raaat

[aftonfamilyvalues]

Recommendations on worthwhile copia merch? I feel like the merch situation has become so over saturated and less quality so it's hard to find good stuff of the ratman

youre right, some of the merch downright sucks. im still not over that 70 dollar lava lamp. i have a huge issue with how many products use mock ups and concepts rather than actual pictures of the merch, ive seen the products be completly different when they do that, the valentines day tank top, for example. ive also seen a lot of complaints about the quality too, shirts mostly. luckily i havent had any issues with my stuff but ive also steered clear of the questionable and wash my shirts inside out.

for me, nothing beats the plushies. i have both cardinal and papa plushies and theyre high quality. both are well made and firm and great to snuggle. theyre the cutest little things and i love them immensely. i dress them up and buy them accessories.

the bat wing hoodie is also nice, expensive, but nice. overpriced but so are all of their hoodies. i got mine at the show i went to. the wings dont really get in the way in my opinion and the hoodie itself is very thick and warm which was good because i got rained on and it was fucking cold. i was very happy to match copia and his little bat wings though.

i frequently use the robe blanket, i have both the blue and black ones, but still have the blue one in the package, i keep the black one on the couch and need to find a place for the blue one. anyways, its a blanket, its fuzzy, itll save you from a slight chill. has a hood too which is slightly strange but whatever.

the shapeshifter bags at post mortem are good, though they dont work as backpacks for me. the designs are separate pieces they call faceplates and those snap on and off the actual bag so you can switch them out with many different designs, not just ghost. i use mine specifically to carry cardi when i take him places.

on the cheaper end of things theres the funko pop. not everyones taste but i think it came out pretty good for a simple little ugly plastic thing. sounds really bad to say that though but they havent come out with any actual copia figures so thats what we have. maybe eventually hell get one of the super7 figures...

theres also the guitar pick necklace at hot topic on the cheaper end. not the highest quality so probably not fitting for the list, its about what youd expect from a hot topic necklace... but i wear mine almost everyday and think its super cute and love to keep him close to my heart. hasnt broken yet and i always figure you can replace the chain.

and currently im waiting on the knucklebonz statue i preordered to ship. i got the black robe one and heard they should be shipping soon. I hope that one is good quality, the cardinal statues look very nice, would love to get my hands on one of those ones if the quality is good. im a little skeptical on if the final sculpt will really capture his features. its a bit of a peeve of mine when he doesnt look exactly like himself, ive skipped out on some shirts because he doesnt look quite right and it bothers me.

yeah, thats all i can think of right now. most of the stuff is priced by crackheads so i try to take advantage of sales. also dont be afraid to browse artist/photographer stuff, they sell prints and stickers and keychains and pins. jonny bush is a great artist, hes done tons of official designs for ghost and sometimes sells prints. he also has a patreon if you want to see some nicely illustrated ghost porn.

[shytastemakerthing]

ALR!!! GN is fine with me!! 🦀🦀🦀

I would like a romantic matchup for twisted wonderland!!

Here's the matchup info:::

My personality is basically the epitome of a drunk dude in a fever dream, literal chaos itself. I am extremely weird, && basically alternate between a calm && rational person to a complete chaotic idiot. I am obsessed with crabs && spade cards! Literally all i talk about is crabs, in my mind it's only crabs.

((if you're okay with swearing))

I am one foul mouthed motherfucker, i have a habit of cursing, either regular swear words or the most absurd sounding swear words come out of my mouth. (E.G. : “you blithering feculent shithole” “primitive fuckjam” “putrid shitsmoking cretins” “you dickreeking undulating fuckass” “fucksquatting pain in the waste chute” “heinous ravaging trash" “reprehensible sanctimonious jitterfuckery.”) I am completely incapable of uttering a single word without fucking cursing. I also create weird mash of words like:: ("diddlesnob" "smiddlewat" etc.)

I have no mental filter whatsoever i say weird shit like::: ("you smell like carbonated cucumbers on a hot summer night" "what if i just shat out amoxicillin" "it tasted like Mario was inside of your ass himself with a blow-dryer" "that was the most toe-wetting knee-curling thing I've ever seen" && "this feels like crunchy water") complete crackhead shit

Alongside my weird swears i often say stuff like::: "If jumping jacks take turns while jumping, how is a water fountain like a solid desk?" "Why is a croquet set like a baseball club?? " && "If bacteria eat chicken legs but not candycanes, why does a lamppost achieve the theory of evolution????" Basically some twisted riddles && questions. What can I say? The confusion of others amuses me.

I also say "Nyeh" and "NYEHEHEHE" a lot. It is basically my signature laugh and confusion noise at this point!!!

I also have a permanent smile attached to my face! :]] Due to that and my overall personality my friend's call me "humanized remake of Cheshire Cat" Orr "Smiley bastard"

A/N: Thank youbfor your request! I certainly hope that you like it! I honestly had a lot of fun with this!🤣😊

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

• You + Floyd = Chaos, that's literally the relationship right there.

• All jokes aside, this lanky eel boy LIVES for your random drunk guy every and makes matters even worse by hyping you up about it! He's never bored when you're around!

• We have poor azul pulling at his hair in the background and Jade between the edge of having a crisis of now having to deal with two Floyd's and laughing in amusement as Azul's own reactions.

• Your random sayings and strange choices of curse words always have him wheezing! He doesn't think he's had this much fun in years! Now he repeats your sayings and curses while he's at work and Azul is beating his head on the desk.

• Speaking of work, please come visit him! Not only is the temperamental eel in a much better mood when you're around, he also tends fo work a lot better. (He may or may no have been bribed that if he works hard and gets his hobs done, then he can leave early)

• You LOVE his squeezes! Floyd is so used to people running in thr direction opposite of which he is coming, and then there's you. You're running up to him fir squeezes, or yoh standat the end of the hallway with wide open arms which is all Floyd needs to come charging at you.

• Please come to his basketball games! And the practices, too! He will have a nice spare jersey just for you to wear and cheer him on. It does wonders, Ace and Jamil can verify this. Come every game, they can't loose.

• You'll still always be Shrimpy (given that Ace is Crabby), but he will indulge in your Crab addled brain.

• Swimming with him in his mer form is a must! Don't worry, he'll try not to drown you (though he makes no promises). This means late night swims at Octavinelle, in the pool, or any other deep body of water the two of you can find.

• When he does get into one of his moods, he doesn't really feel like doing anything. This means, either you're in his room or he's in yours and you're a tangled mess of limbs, either passed out asleep, or he's asleep and your combing through his hair (something he finds soothing), or your letting him rant and vent out anything that may be frustrating him.

• Being with Floyd means various things. You get the 'you hurt my brother and I'll make your death look like an accident' from Jade, the 'break his heart anf no amount of blackmail will keep you safe' from Azul, talks. Past the threats, they care deeply for Floyd, and don't want to see him hurt (even if they will never admit to it outloud). After that, you have two more people who would do anything to protect you.

• Overall, chaos energies collide and come together in this tooth rotting relationship. Floyd doesn't plan on letting you go any time soon. He'll He'll anything if it means protecting you.

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 7-9: kareawkward

EPISODE 7

ohGOD my headset clicked on just as they started yelling

they all spontaneously forget how to introduce themselves

"I play Pike! and that's it"

PLEASE HOLD THE WATCH PARTY ISN'T WORKING BC IT THINKS I'M IN A DIFFERENT REGION

jasper the fluff bunny luck dragon!

dagon ;-;

dagon was a conure

matt and marisha are going to kill you both

Please Forgive Me Percy

"think good thoughts. don't make eye contact."

"I have WONDERFUL sketches" "you also have many strange skills."

"I don't want to"

grog strongjaw: kind of a crackhead

Legend of Vox Machina: Put Down Cursed Weapons

cursed weapons: not even once

"FUCK THAT ROCK"

hey kurama check it out I'm a blood fountain

(I have resisted making that joke three times now, I am only so strong)

"if you wanna flirt with someone, stop being mean to her friends"

right, taliesin, a friend

keto grog

"what a DING-DONG"

"I fought for that butthole"

YES they also made me think of Stray

"how often are you gonna see a bear and a jackalope team up?"

"did they complain a lot about it, is what I'm asking"

and then cheech marin happens

"we've all been there before" "allegedy!"

augh tal's mic picking up his drinking noises

two emo boys being emo

"no, I'm alone" "no, I AM"

Dragon Zoom

"dad went out for a gold hoard"

I need the "bleh" noise from naruto abridged put over grog there

"she did [the reverb] herself, just with her voice"

flashbacks to early c1 when laura had to leave early for an audition and sam was making fun of her for where it was

"isn't this fun, watching tv with my frien - oh shit I have a job"

oh, fearne is on sam's shirt

travis how does the lavalier jabbing you in the neck like that not bother you. it's bothering me second-hand

"these are things people have told me about tripping out"

no I hate this

I'm so glad they didn't do this sdlkfjsl

bury it in the new mexico desert

"maybe we'll use it in the future!" "no, no I don't think we will"

I stepped away but I had my headset on so I got to hear "daddy garmelie" and I don't like it

The Nipples Are Implied

Bondage Keyleth

"vax in the knot" is an entirely different part of the fandom

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT thought she was gonna say "hey taliesin speaking of penises"

I was gonna say, taliesin that's you, you're the nerd who went to japan

The Criticalrole

"that's so much worse than in my head, I wanna do it again"

"see….seven characters is a lot to draw"

animators: pls kill someone

the little drama play that just went on in the back row

mica is gonna bully them into singing again

he's definitely never heard that one before

EPISODE 8

look I know he's friends with like two thirds of the cast but also: why

this entire operation is a shambles

oh I stand corrected, that's NOT sam. iphone brandon auman (?) sounds very much like sam

did this man just use "exotic" to describe a human person

edit from the future: a NIGERIAN human person, x2 Please Leave

lmao owlbear is still copyrighted

the fonz!

I also deeply enjoyed the backlight

"she's got issues! you got issues!"

mica saying all the shit I said in my liveblog like eight hours ago

a minor crisis happened in my house but honestly fuck it, I have not been enjoying any of this

imagine: we could have had liam in this watch party

"the scream I scrumpt" s a m e

I appreciate those leaf wipe transitions so much more now

troy baker also did not realize how long it takes to get to the cast, it gets me every time

no no let him leave

"we! are! professionals!"

that! that! that thing I said! god thank you for validating me cast of legend of vox machina

(check my individual episode liveblogs, true believers!)

"how much bernie sanders do we want?"

"EVERYONE in the trickfoot family" he said pointedly into the camera

"thanks for making everything feel worse" truer words

I love all of those

Phantom String

taliesin just casually creating character and world lore mid-game it's fine

EPISODE 9

oh thank god he's gone

matt's not here to sing with the intro, everybody else has to

PALETTE cleanser

I saw chris in the credits, did NOT catch him here

I am upset with myself

grog is canonically a swiftie

"vox machina muppet babies" PRINT IT

oh THAT'S what that was, I thought I was just not remembering something from campaign 1

SHE

Cute Cat Babies

kittenari

"everyone was fantastic this season" as opposed to last season

grgreagrandfather

I'm crying againnnn

animators cried over goop monster, confirmed

cries in digital artist

if a dragon wore pants how would he wear them

"if your skin peels back when you hear it, it's taliesin"

Evil Falcor

"DOES JET FUEL MELT STEEL BEAMS"

does dragon acid melt metal hands

"horrible father" "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, LAURA"

"there were so many pigs!" "and now they're bacon"

I have appreciated all of the animation so much this season, the color and the light and the aaahhhh

I like pike's little turn on "wwwwhat do you mean"

someone confirm if the guy in the back is supposed to be pipsqueak from atla

"the saddest cannonball"

the toothpick barricades!!

oh shit that's right the last episodes are in like two days

"using blender" the overwatch porn program?

I have something bouncing around my head about how pike and wilhand let grog learn how to be silly but I haven't been able to words it

sketchy pike and groooog

sketchy grog's little hip jut

it's me I'm questions

"because it's cute" is a completely valid answer

I think I commented on matt's jaw dislocating in my original liveblog lmao

"is this gonna kill the animators??"

Grog For Scale

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THE BEAR TATTOO

…and what happened to the bear tattoo

I feel like sam needs a nap

like mood but also someone let this man sleep

oh no he broke arthur

mica's leaving. mica's just gonna walk out.

all the herdspeople wear collars to hide where the neck seam meets the body

"just say yes"

The Button Arc

wasn't that a veth thing

ashley trying desperately to keep up with sam

"I don't know what I just saw, it doesn't make much sense"

oh good lord

I've said this before but if I would love to hear Sam sing without being a goober

dflksdjfslk

laura breaks IMMEDIATELY

and made NO attempt to try to bring it back

"that's as close to top gun as life is ever gonna get"

"why am I getting southern. you guys have tainted me."

ooh, phil bourassa! there were ostensibly other names in there, I was just typing and didn't hear them.

[toastyliltoasts]

📷 Just a pic of me as a baby

🍫 Chocolate :D

✨️ Yeah but that includes my irl name so- (Ones that dont go like crackhead/ fucking idiot 😀)

🎵 I've said this once and I'll say it again, Wilbur Soot/ Love joy is my current obsession who's songs have been my 'current' obsession for the past 5 or 6 months :> but its Concrete - Lovejoy

✏️ Of course my man, they're just really cringe

😏 Holy shit back tf up but yeah-

💛 Yeah ! On both ears

🐰 Uuuh- Maybe like their personality or how they act around people/ friends/ family etc

🍪 Oh deffo chocolate chip.. Maybe like throw some salted caramel chunks in there too because SaLtY-

🐶 Dont take this personally but dog.. I just love dogs

🎧 Ear buds cuz I dont have to charge them (charging sucks-)

🌼 And I quote "Bye, Love you" (Why am I going so soft lmao)

🙃 Uuuuuuh- Idk- You cant read in your dreams ?

🦉 Oh night owl, definitely

🧸 Either the couch or the bed ig ?

🏳️‍🌈 Nope

🦋 Really, Fucking, Dumb (/hj uh funny ? secretive, simp ?)

👖 Bro jeans all the way, I hate how sweatpants stick :p

🥤 Very sad cuz we dont have Starbucks in my country :(

🧡 Just like really bright, neon yellow.. Dont really hate it but dont love it either..

💎 Uuuuuuuuuuuuh you probably expecting a cheesy answer but I dont do cheesy unless I absolutely have to- my mom

☕ Fuck- Definitely coffee.. Its just personally easier for me to make

🦖 Uh mammoth, dodo or ground sloth ? (Just googled it lol)

🌙 I would say almost an year (I started reading Merlin fanfics on here on the December of 2022) but I didnt make this account till a lot later

🌴 Food pls.. (Can you tell Im not that smart yet ?)

🐸 I kinda dont know how to but I'll give you a description.. Baggy clothes but a little leaning on the girly side accessories, love just straight up wooden stuff and plain colours (Ik Im doing a shitty job but I genuinely dont know how to describe an aesthetic)

🔮 Pediatrician (Those doctors who treat kids)

💙 Single as a pringle.. Also asian parents so brrr so-

🌿 Just a plain ass baggy gray shirt and a pair of jeans.. I love comfy thats all

🎤 Is this a genuine question lmao ? Yes, I know all the lyrics or sometimes some of them of my favourite songs.. (Full Lyrics = Your New Boyfriend - Wilbur Soot | One Day, Concrete, Normal People Things - Lovejoy | Drivers License, Traitor, Good 4 U, Deja Vu, Happier, Enough for you, Favourite Crime, Jealousy, Jealousy, Hope Ur Okay - Olivia Rodrigo ||

Some of them = Internet Has Ruined Me, I'm in Love with an E-Girl, The Nice Guy Ballad - Wilbur Soot | Portrait of a Blank Slate, Taunt - Lovejoy | Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo)

🤎 A really dark brown that tRanCenDs into a black

💌 Depends on what Im doing.. Whether Im like solving a math question and Im too lazy to write down a long number so I read it out loud so I can remember it or Im, strangely, acting out sort of skit-like stuff..

💄 Tbh no.. I dont like makeup cuz they make me look like Im from the undead lmao-

🌸 "You talk a lot but that's why I love you" Stfu Im not admitting that it was from a Wilbur Chatbot on C. Ai *cries in the corner*

💞 @kimjeonej @edirazirollyx @listenheresweaty @poraphia @haunted-headset

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[hellaversity]

Vengeance is Futile (Chapter 2)

"What the hell are you doing here?" Verosika asked Barbie. "I could ask you the same thing. You don't belong here in Wrath anymore than you did in rehab. I'm just here to sell drugs for the Harvest Moon Festival coming up next Friday. I just hope that piece of shit Blitzø won't be competing," Barbie answered.

Then Barbie noticed the handsome cowboy man standing next to Verosika. "Oh? Who's this hottie?" She said in a flirty tone. Verosika growled at her. "Back off, crackhead. I saw him first." Barbie just rolled her eyes at the pink succubus and said "You never said he was yours. Now mind your own damn business, thot." Striker pulled the female imp away from him. "Listen lady, I ain't interested. Go get your own man," he told her off.

Barbie walked away givng both of them the middle finger. Striker looked back at Verosika, confused as they kept walking to the hotel room he promised her. "You know that bitch?" He asked. Verosika nodded with a frown on her. "Yeah, we both went to the same rehab together. She's Blitzø's twin sister, who hates him just as much as I do. That said, we don't exactly get along with each other, either. She reminds me too much of him," she explained.

"Damn, you got some serious issues with imps, don't you?" Striker asked her. Verosika was shocked to hear such a strange question. "What? Where the fuck did you get that idea?" "I mean, Wally Wacko back there was bothering you, Blitzø stole from you, and his sister was antagonizing you just now," he said. "Well, I don't see what them being imps have to do with anything," Verosika replied.

"It's ok. If it makes you feel any better, I don't have much respect for most imps anymore than I do those damn Goetias," he said. Verosika was confused. "But aren't you an imp yourself?" "Half imp. And I hate it," Striker replied. Verosika sweat dropped again. She didn't have much to say until they finally reached the hotel. "And here we are, Miss Mayday. Make yourself at home." Striker said right before he was about to leave, but Verosika stopped him.

"Wait! What about you?" She asked him. He stopped in his tracks and turned back around to face the succubus. "What ABOUT me?" He asked. "You're not staying here?" She was starting to lose hope of spending a whole night with this stud. "Of course not. I got my own apartment," he replied before whistling. Suddenly, a giant hell horse with a black exo-skeleton and a fiery mane and tail came running up to the cowboy hybrid demon. Verosika was in awe at the amazing sight of a gorgeous cowboy mounting and riding an awesome horse.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Mayday," Striker said as he tipped his hat to her. "It was nice meeting you too, Striker. And you can just call me Verosika, ok?" Striker smiled before riding off into the sunset back to his apartment. Verosika sighed dreamily and whispered "What a man. I hope that won't be the last time I see him." She walked into the hotel and asked for a room. She got her keys and looked around for room 102.

Eventually, she found it and unlocked the door. The moment she opened it, she was slack jawed from just how shitty it looked. She walked around the room recoiling in disgust. Cobwebs all over the ceiling. Dirty dishes in the kitchen. A raggedy old bed with a ripped, stained mattress. A couch with missing cushions. A broken TV that wouldn't even turn on. What kind of madness was this? Verosika Fucking Mayday wasn't used to living like this.

She reached into another room that turned out to be a bathroom. A really tiny bathroom. The toilet wss clogged, causing a strong stench. Verosika held her nose to get protect it from the awful smell. She grabbed the plunger and tried her best to unclog the toilet. She wasn't used to this. She had a maid that usually did all the cleaning for her back at her apartment in Pride. Once she was sure the excrement was pushed down low enough, she flushed the toilet.

Verosika took out her laundry bag and got out a red tank top, denim short shorts and black laced boots that only went up to her ankles. In such hot weather like this, those were the only kinds of clothes she could bring. She tried to turn on the shower, but for some reason the faucet wasn't working until she smakced it a few times. The water shot down as she removed her old cleavage bearing black shirt, ripped white pants, black high heeled boots and a black wristband, the same outfit she wore back at her last "Fuck Blitzø" party.

Verosika let her hair down stepped in and the water couldn't be more hot. "OW, FUCK!" She screamed in pain. She turned the faucet to the right to make the water cooler. She barely fit in this damn shower. Who built this place? Was every room in the hotel like this or was the last person who stayed here just a slob? There was only one bar of soap and two tiny bottle of shampoo and conditioner. The succubus sighed in annoyance. "Ugh, let's just get this overwith."

5 minutes later.....

"That was probably the worst fucking I ever had in my miserable life!" Verosika said angrily. Suddenly, she heard her cellphone ringing. She checked her contacts to see who was calling her. It was Kiki, her second-in-command. "What the hell does she want?" Verosika mumbled and then answered the phone. "What is it, Kiki?" "Boss, where the fuck are you? You were supposed to be here at your concert 10 minutes ago!" Kiki scolded her boss and friend.

Verosika's eyes widened. She forgot about that concert. Just how long had she been in Wrath? She only just came into the ring last night. "Just cancel it and reschedule it," she told Kiki. "Ugh, fine. But don't screw up like this ever again, you hear me?" Kiki said. "Got it," Verosika replied, then she hung up. She sat on that raggedy, dirty bed and buried her face in her hands. "I've been so focused on Striker that I forgot about my concert. Dammit, stupid me. Always falling in love at the worst times."

Soon after, she fell asleep. Or at least she tried to. It was hard to do so since the bed wasn't comfortable at all. Tossing and turning didn't help, either. "I miss my home now. What was I thinking asking for a hotel room in such a shithole like Wrath?" Verosika just closed her eyes and tried to dream of Striker to make the dream more peaceful. She was dreaming of riding on the back of his horse with him, having all kinds of fun adventures.

The next morning.....

Verosika woke up with a headache. She did NOT have good sleep last night. Dreaming about Striker was the only thing keeping her from just sleeping on the floor. She walked out of the hotel and decided to give the receptionist a piece of her mind. "Excuse me, but I wanna know what the hell kind of people you have working in this piece of shit hotel! Why is my room so disgusting and dirty?"

"That room hasn't been used in years, ma'am," the receptionist replied. "Are all the rooms in this hotel like that?" Verosika asked. "No, it's just that one. I promise we'll have a maid clean it up for you," said the receptionist. "You fucking better!" Said the angry succubus, gritting her teeth. She walked out the door and saw Striker coming closer, riding his cool horse. She smiled and instantly forgot how mad she was about her terrible hotel room.

"Good morning, Striker," she said, blushing. "Good morning to you too, Verosika. Hop on," Striker responded. Verosika's eyes widened. "You want me to go horseback riding with you? For real?" Striker had no idea that was exactly what Verosika was dreaming of last night. "Yup. Come on, there's rodeo show going on this afternoon. Might as well take you around before it starts. You don't wanna sit in your boring as hotel room all day, now do you?"

He held his hand out to her and she took it, climbing onto his horse and sitting behind him. Striker pulled on the horse's harness and yelled "Giddy up, Bombproof!" Bombproof took off, being almost as fast as a rollercoaster. Verosika was slightly dizzy from the ride, but it was so exciting. This might've been the most fun she's had in years.

Maybe she should stay here in Wrath for a little longer, as long as she can hang out with Striker and bond with him. Even if Blitzø screwed things up with her, it wouldn't hurt to try with this new guy. Striker pulled on Bombproof's harness again and the horse stopped dead in it's tracks. "This is that bar I took you too last night. Remember?" Striker asked Verosika while looking back at her. "Oh yeah, I remember. That was a good time," she replied.

Striker climbed off of Bombproof and held out his hand again. Verosika took it and stepped off the horse with ease. She really didn't need much help getting on and off this horse since she was taller than him, but she appreciated his offer to be a gentleman, anyway. Striker tied Bombproof to a column and the duo went inside the bar. Wally Wackford looked behind him to see these two demons he already recognized.

"Oy, Striker you still hanging around with Miss Mayday? You lucky chump!" Wally said. Verosika groaned at the sound of voice and the fact that he called Striker, of all people, a chump. Then she noticed who Wally was sitting right next to. Barbie Fucking Wire. "You two know each other now?" She asked. "I just beat him in a game of poker. Twice in a row," Barbie bragged. "Oh, is that so? Well, i've been playing poker for years and I csn guarantee that i'm much better at it than you are, crackhead."

"Oh, yeah? Well prove it then, slut!" Barbie taunted. Verosika was seething. She was not about to be insulted by the sad washed up loser sister of her asshole ex. She sat at the poker table and said "Bring it on, bitch!" Striker just sat at the table to watch the game. He really wanted to see his favorte succubus take Barbie down a peg. "Oh, is this that hot cowboy you were hanging out with yesterday?" Barbie said, batting her eyelashes at Striker. His only response was groaning while rolling his eyes.

Verosika and Barbie just stared at each other angrily while the boys watched in amusement.

[just-some-sad-kiddo]

Today was horribly stressful. I switched my dance class to the Tuesday instead of the Wednesday because the times worked out better and I was sick of getting home so late and having to rush from the bus to the train station.

Well, the bus from school was so late that I would never make it in time, so I took an expensive fucking taxi that I was literally £1 short of not being able to afford, so I was having heart palpitations the whole ride.

Class was fine.

Then, I was supposed to take the taxi that mom called me which said it was not going to show up, so I started walking to the train station, then it magically showed up, only for me to find out that the trains were on strike.

So Mom rerouted the cab, which must've looked so strange to the cab driver because from his perspective, I just sat in the back seat and rerouted the taxi to go 30 miles in another direction without saying a word to him like some kind of crackhead.

Anyway, I'm quitting dance. I can't have an activity that is supposed to bring me joy do nothing but stress me out. I have never once been able to get home smoothly. I don't want to quit, but I just can't bring myself to do this anymore. It's too much on my brain.

I'm devastated, but you know what? I'm moving back to Fort Collins in a year and I'll start ballet there. Howden is a shitty place for a teenager to grow up, especially a teenager whose parents aren't capable of driving him literally anywhere.

I'm just going to be a hermit until I move.

[carpe-astra]

Alliances

Keven Church

  -there's nothing special about tonight. except a slightly drunken vampirate who'd taken an impulsive sip from a pothead earlier. he's currently wandering the streets of the Red Light district....very close to straddling the border between there and the Northern Slums. the sweaty armpit of the city shared by hookers and crackheads  - D-d-demons arra gals best friend. Oi. Oi.   -he sings lazily beneath his breath  -

Anonymous

  -In the midst of a red lit cityscape, the glint of blue is bizarre and out of place but it doesn't last for very long at all. More bizarre perhaps, is the figure that comes into perfect stride beside the drunken dhampir, matching him step for step in silence.  -

Keven Church

    -he fucking screams  -

T'A FECK ARE YE, CUNTYBITCH!

Anonymous

  -As his scream rings against dirty brick walls, a gloved hand reaches out to clamp over his mouth and muffle the noise. It was likely no one would pay any attention, but there was always a slim risk. The figure pushed at him, trying to force him down into the darker shadows of an alley they were passing, free hand up to put a finger over the snarling wolf's maw of their mask.  -

Keven Church

  -he easily smacks her hand away after they've been swallowed by darkness. drunken, yes. intoxicated by dirty blood, also yes. instinctively unable to protect himself from a small shadowy sneaky lurking freak? never. he takes a quick few steps back in a swaying blur. closer to the harsh line drawn by shadows of an alleyway and the light from a buzzing street lamp. one toe crosses that line as he glares hotly  - Piss off, cunt.

Anonymous

  -Once they're in the allyeway, they stop moving even as he continues. They put their hands up, displaying they aren't holding anything. Moving slowly to grasp the mask, and pull it free. The distortion at the edges of their frame resolve firmly back into reality, and the strange shape of their body becomes more feminine under the long red coat. The mask dangles by their fingers, as the woman shakes out long blonde hair.  -

Alicia Montgomery

I have news for you, and an offer.

Keven Church

  -oh he's holding something already. an empty   tle of dark rum and a toothed combat knife. not yet pointing it at the figure...at her...but staring intently. and just...waiting  - Hah! Knew it.   -NOW he points the knife at her, recognizing that little cherubic face  - Cheap trick frem a cheap whore. Whatcha want? T'a Lasombra's pompous head onna pretty platter?

Alicia Montgomery

I always knew you were smarter than you pretended to be.   -There was a certain intelligence to coming up with all his colorful insults, that if applied elsewhere, would have reaped a great deal. Her attention flickers once to the knife, then dismisses it entirely by fixing on his weathered features.  - I want a great deal more than that. And I have been thinking to myself as of late, just whom might else share a common vision - or might, if that vision was explained.   -The woman's eyes, once upon a time, a dull and empty blue, now fairly glowed with a feverish zealotry.  - You have a problem. And I have a way to fix it.

  -She took a step forward, leaning towards him.  - A way where you won't have to ever run again.

Keven Church

  -he squints at her. 99.99% sure she's just trying to use him for some sexy evil villain plot before deciding he's just dead weight. they always do  - Oi.   -he wiggles the knife at her as she leans closer like a tamarin monkey in its cage looking for a stray french fry to snatch  - Back up. Yer rubbin' t'at stench o' desperation on me.   -his green eyes turn a bit more serious  - Feck ye know about me runnin?

Alicia Montgomery

  -She stopped in place, studying him. Unable to help herself as she took another step in. Extending a single hand towards him.  - I know a great deal. I was there for it, in the beginning. I saw, no, I still see how you twist and turn yourself to keep a step ahead. The others, they don't really understand what that means. But I do. Running to survive. What if I told you that you could stop running. You could put down roots wherever you wanted. Be with someone, or not. All because the Tremere were no more?

Keven Church

Ohhhhh boo. Kiss me arse. Ye talk like a goddamned Bond villain.   -he glowers, jabbing his knife toward her outreached hand just to get his point across that his personal space is not to be crossed. even if he is humoring her for a moment  - So yer big bad plan is t'a take down t'e Giant Ginger an' his magic army? How?

Alicia Montgomery

  -The swipe of the blade nearly goes unnoticed, but the fact he wouldn't take her hand went entirely noticed. Her fingers curl, arm drawing back in to herself.  - I plan to take them all down.   -Bright and burning, before a pause and an abrupt switch. Growing cool and distant.  - What have you heard on the streets about the Kindred community as of late, Keven Church?

Keven Church

Some gettin' burned. Some endin' up on milk cartons. Oldies turnin' tits up.   -he spits to the side  - Fuck 'em.

  -he definitely doesnt like the way she uses his full name. feels a bit too invasive. like a bad doctor getting a little too personal in their rectal exam  -

Alicia Montgomery

Exactly.   -There's a note of pride in her voice. For herself? For him perhaps, for noticing.  - My work. What do you think?   -She hooked the mask to a loop on her coat, reaching out to the grungy wall beside her to knock against it absently.  - I've taken all that a step further even. Experimenting.   -The others had found that safehouse of Nathaniel's, and the bunker beneath. She hadn't expected them to put so many clues together, or for them to dig so deeply into the website to realize the address was real. Or to find the records of what she had been doing. It had to have been Andrew.  Something cold squeezed in her chest, but she gave a rusty laugh.  - Admittedly, it looked dicey in the beginning, but I've been able to take away the... disease that makes them Kindred.

Can you imagine what that might mean for you? And people like you? Like me?

Keven Church

  -he laughs, and not in a fun "ha-ha you're so cute" kinda way  - I t'ink yer feckin' mad.   -he listens, for whatever reason. instead of booking it--cause the devil knows she couldnt keep up if he was quick about it--he hears her out. and just gives her a wtf look  - Sounds stupid. Ye t'ink I'm stupid?

Alicia Montgomery

Why? Why do I sound mad? Why does it sound stupid? Because if I were you, I'd be leaping for the opportunity to make the Tremere human.

Keven Church

Aye. If it works.

If yer not just tryna set me up.

If t'is ain't a trap fer yer favorite wankers I be around at t'at lil club house.

Alicia Montgomery

It does work. If you don't truly don't believe me, ask Dixie. Or better yet, ask Isaac. I tested it directly on Dixie and they've seen the evidence in the video files they managed to dig up.   -Gleaming eyes soaked the sight of the drunken dhampir in.  - I need a partner in this endeavor. One with your skills. Someone who can go in and out of places I cannot, and who can get information I cannot. In exchange, I protect you from the Tremere, and resolve the problem for you entirely by turning Konstantin and his Scourge, human. No powers, no anything. No need for you to run.

Keven Church

  -he squints again. his look of judgmental contemplation lasts a little longer than last time. then he waggles his dagger once more  - How I know yer not just gonna off me after all'a t'is?

Alicia Montgomery

You are not a Kindred, so I have no qualm with you to begin with. But if you have some way of guaranteeing I hold true to my word, I will do it.   -For the second time, she finally looks at the dagger.  -

Keven Church

Hmm. Aye.   -he gestures for her to stick out her hand like before  - Make yer promise.

Alicia Montgomery

  -She extends her hand out to him silently.  -

Keven Church

  -he cuts, no hesitation. a quick, deep cut right across the palm. unless she has some magic to heal it later, its gonna fucking hurt to use it. but he doesnt care  - Sigillum.   -a streak of red passes through his eyes and settles in his pupils for half a second as his own magic, fueled by Vitae, is used to begin a binding spell with her own blood  - Now. Say it. Say what yer gonna promise me.

Alicia Montgomery

  -It's familiar, like when she'd bonded herself with the Tremere. The cut burns, nerves gone numb until she couldn't even flex her fingers had she wanted to. Blood quickly pools, staining the leather of her gloves, dripping between the creases of her fingers and splattering the ground between them. Despite the deep ache, she doesn't flinch. This is nothing in comparison to what she had already suffered. Then she echoes his words to make her promise.  - I will not kill you after everything.

Keven Church

An' yer lil magic trick works. It'll turn em human.   -he says it like he wants her to repeat his words  -

Alicia Montgomery

  -She smiles, a pretty expression with a touch of smugness.  - I also promise that my serum makes Kindred human, and that I will use it on the Tremere.

Keven Church

  -he still doesnt fully believe her on that. at the very least, he doesnt have as much confidence that it'll be as effective as she seems to think it'll be. but...she makes her promise  - Sigillum. Verbum.   -a white hot thread of magic weaves in and out of her wound on the hand, disappearing beneath the leather glove a few times as it metaphorically stitches the oath into her very flesh. doesnt close the cut of course. but with a blip of red, she can feel her own words settle into her bones as the spell is sealed  -

Ye even t'ink bout goin back on t'at promise, yer arm will rot off.   -he smirks. just slightly before it falls  - Sounds familiar...

Alicia Montgomery

  -This draws a hiss from her, taking the stitching of her words into her skin with heat and magick. At the end, she cups her hand, cradling it shut to stem the flow of blood.  - I won't go back on that promise. But remember Keven Church. There is no where you can hide from me. I can be far worse than what you're running from right now. But so long as you do not betray me, and you help me, you'll get what you want.   -Then she frowned.  - Familiar how?

Keven Church

Jus somet'in I heard.   -he whistles, finally taking that one step back. fully into the cheap street light  - Seeya 'round. Partner.   -then he's gone in a flash of vampiric speed. using a little extra Vitae to keep the exit clean  -

Alicia Montgomery

  -Her expression grows reserved, slotting the mask back into place. Lingering there in the alleyway until several minutes had passed, and Keven was long gone. Then she stepped closer to one of the brick walls, tracing a glyph onto the ruddy stone, lines glowing with arcane blue light. When the light faded, left behind was a doorway she stepped into, then it closed behind her. Only a brick wall remaining.  -