#sukuna x reader crack

[joi-me-hoi-me-noi]

Featuring Sukuna and Itadori as brothers teehee

A/n: I got this wonderful idea from nessieart's artwork of sukuna and megumi... I love nessieart but I'm not tryna bother them by @ing them like a mad woman...anywho enjoy

MODERN-DAY SUKUNA CRUSHING ON READER

You were looking for Yuuji around the building, he told you he wanted to talk to you.

You round a corner and there's 2 of them

Itadori just laughs and introduces his older brother to you

"Uh..nice to meet you. I'm L/n Y/n."

You hold out your hand for him to shake when he walks over to you. He just stares at you, no emotion on his face. Did he not like you or something? All of a sudden, his hand shoots out of his pocket and plops down on your shoulder.

He keeps eye contact with you and then smirks.

"Hey."

You looked in shock and Yuuji couldn't even look at the scene in front of him.

"Bro, you're cringing up the place."

Sukuna had to skedaddle even if he didn't want to but being pushed by Yuuji just reluctantly helped him to leave.

You wanted an explanation after that whole cringe fest.

"Yuuji, I need an explanation. I never knew you had a brother." You place your hands on your hips, staring daggers into your friend.

"Okay Y/n, imma explain now."

He explains that his brother wasn't here, he was in Kyoto for some studies and came back just now. He pulls a picture out of his wallet of them smiling with the words 'happy graduation' above them.

You take the picture from his fingers and look closely at it.

"H-He went to school?"

Yuuji nods, smiling wide.

"He graduated?"

Yuuji nods but looks to the side like 'of course'.

"Impossible."

"What do you mean impossible?"

The way you look at him tells him everything he needs to know.

"Nevermind but you should hang out with us while you can. He might leave again and he can probably answer your questions better than I can."

So with that, you began hanging out with both Yuuji and Sukuna

They had the cutest relationship to you, even though Ryomen would call his brother a brat sometimes which would cause a small quarrel.

During this time, you had a sleepover at their house.

When you awake in the morning, you overhear a conversation between the two siblings...

You press yourself against the wall near the kitchen and listen in on their conversation.

"Aniki [older brother], have you seen my-" Yuuji pauses and then makes a noise. "What are you doing?"

"Making lunch."

You peek around the corner, making sure you aren't seen by Yuuji or Ryo.

Yuuji quickly pads over to his brother's side and peeks over his shoulder.

"Careful. You almost burned down the kitchen last time you cooked."

He looks closely at the counter. "Why are there 3 boxes?"

You hear a small thump against the floor, signaling that Ryo pushed Yuuji back.

"I watched tutorials this time...one's for L/n."

Yuuji opens the bento boxes and lets out a snicker with his hand covering his mouth. The bentos are decorated so it looks like different animals.

"This is so corny but cute as hell. What are you, 5?"

"What's that supposed to be?" He points at one of the bentos.

"It's a F/a!" He slaps Yuuji's hand away from the bento.

Yuuji lets out another laugh and then a long 'aw' while approaching his brother.

"Who would've thought that my big scary brother has a crush~?"

"Fuck off brat!"

Ryomen has a big blush on his face, focusing on finishing up the bento boxes. You blush at the fact that he might have a crush on you. You decided that it's time to stop eavesdropping on their conversation.

You stand and make yourself let out a loud yawn to announce yourself to the both of them.

"I smelt food."

Yuuji is about to say something but Ryo elbows him to quiet him.

"This bento is for you L/n."

You take it from his hands with a smile.

"Thank you Ryo but remember, you don't have to call me L/n. Y/n is fine."

You open the bento box and smile at the animal he created for you.

"Is this a F/a?!" You smile while eating the food on the top of the bento.

He smiled and nods proudly...you sadly, really couldn't tell what it was, thank God for him telling Yuuji.

You and Yuuji were originally supposed to train with Gojo-sensei but now Ryomen is babysitting the both of y'all

Gojo is such a child...

"All you have to do is just help them train, physically."

"So, pretty much beat them up?"

He looks back at Yuuji with the most fiery expression, showing off his cursed technique.

"Yeah pretty much. Sorry kids, I got a date with destiny!" He kisses the side of his phone and leaves the field as quick as possible.

You and Yuuji's mouths become agape then you both turn toward Ryo. He laughs and removes his top layer to reveal...a tank top. You were really hoping he would be shirtless but whatever, it still works.

Yuuji takes his top layer off as well, revealing his red hoodie. You removed yours as well since everyone else was doing it.

"Well losers, let's fight."

And fight y'all did. FIGHT FOR Y'ALL LIVES THAT IS!! BRO IS GOING CRAZY!!! HE'S GONNA KILL Y'ALL IF HE AIN'T CAREFUL.

You both end the training session breathing heavily on the floor, fistbumping Yuuji. Ryo pulls you both up onto your feet. He pushes Yuuji's jacket into his hands while he gently hands you yours.

"Come on brats, I'm hungry and y'all need to change quickly. We're done for the day."

You tag Yuuji and run back inside of the school before he can catch you. You two change quickly and walk back outside to his brother.

"Let's go, I'm paying for the ramen."

You guys walk through the streets, just conversating with each other. Then Itadori spoke up.

"If Aniki and I were drowning, who would you save?"

You don't think long about your answer, you smile and blurt it out.

"Well because of my cursed technique, I could save you both."

———

Masterlist —> link

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

To the Floor, From the rat

Sukuna x Reader crack

@kmayafk and @ari-tart-3114 helped out with this

By: 3 crackheads (HAHA! YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ONE BUTS ITS ACTUALLY dio- i mean THREE 👹)

Disclaimer: dangerous amounts of crack ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED hehehe 👹. totally scary topics like rats with…penis??

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary: you are Sukuna’s maid and you’re paid to clean his enormous penthouse (and maybe something ELSE enormous but who really knows 👀). 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good god not the floors again!

Why does Master Sukuna always have me clean the floors?! Like, I could be cleaning literally anything else, but it’s always the floors *cries*. 

Maybe he just wants to see my non-existent ass? Who fucking knows at this point.

I rarely see the guy too. It's always a little rear glimpse here and maybe a sliver of hair there

He only tells me these things via text too, like I’ve never heard his voice. The other maids are starting to spread rumors around him. 

Some say he’s like ultra hot but an absolute dick but also that he’s like incredibly smart and doesn’t fuck around (his bedsheets really do beg to differ though, like good god the amount of cum stains on his bedspread)

He’s been having female visitors and it always ends with the woman crying and running away (coward). 

Some of the maids say his female visitors run away purely from seeing how enormous his cock is. Some even say it's because he continues till the visitor faints, even after they say no. 

Another says they run away from his expectations and are only there for their own pleasure

So now he just goes to hotels and such because why bring those women to his house and waste his time

Oh geez, thinking about Master Sukuna made me go toward his room.

Though I know he isn’t home and he didn’t ask me to clean up his room but hey what could be the harm though there’s still flooring in there so technically…

So now I find myself in his room with my jaw hitting the floor with how large it is. I look around more and find a wall full of pictures of women with “x” marks on them. 

Is he “thank you next” ing them?!?!

Before I can process, I see a small stash of pictures of the maids.

Oh no, oh no. He isn't-

“And who gave you permission to enter my room?”

I turn around and see him.

Sukuna.

“The floor gang!” I shouted at the strange unfamiliar man, supposedly the master of this house. It was almost as if a quest to get fired popped up.

Sukuna closed his eyes and sighs. He grabs a cigarette and proceeds to smoke. I look at him, wondering if he is going to fire me, or worse. 

It was then a tiny little furball scampered across the room. It seemed to be a screaming kitten that appears to have fallen into a trashcan as he was covered in trash. 

“QUICK GET THAT RAT” Sukuna screamed, causing me to jolt. 

“But master Sukuna why would you have a cat and not see it as such?”I chased the supposed kitten, now fearing for my life.

 As I tried to pounce on it, the kitten screamed out a weird noise. “SHEEEEEEESHH”

“Jeez you can’t even catch a small cat, what the fuck did I hire you for again?!?!”

“To make vegan eggs”

“Oh yes. You do make a pretty bussin vegan omlette”

Sukuna laughs, but then realizes something.  “Wait…What even the fuck is a vegan omlette?”

“A spicy version of connect 4” I answered snarkily.

“i-I what?”

Sukuna begins to look at me confused, but proceeds to keep his composure. 

“Don’t change the subject. Why were you in my room?”

“Well you see…” I looked around the room for an excuse and for a moment I didn’t have one

But catching sight of a statue on the floor that was clearly soiled. “That. I had to clean that, it’s clearly a biohazard.” “This?” Sukuna picks up the statue, showing some sort of mythical creature, a groundhog perhaps? No. A rat. Some will say it is a rat penis. 

“Y-yes sir it looked like it made a mess everywhere sir” 

“There is no need.” He quickly pocketed the questionable statue. “But since you’re here, I have a favor to ask of you…”

Ooooooh is it finally happening?!?! The moment all of us maids have been waiting for?!?!

“Can you draw what exactly a rat penis is??”

OH WHAT THE HECK??

Before I can even say anything, the world around me begins to fade away. My eyes start to feel exhausted. 

“Why am I feeling so… sleepy?”

“I see the drug is finally taking its effect on you”

I look at him, and gasp in shock. No way, how in tarnation was he able to drug me while we talked about the rat penis?

“WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO DRUG ME WHAT THE FUCK?”

“By the very statue that led you here. It was diffusing sleep powder into the air that only works on scrubs like yourself.” Sukuna grinned over my collapsed form on the ground. 

I start to feel very dizzy. The last thing i see is Sukuna’s smirking face. 

“You shouldn’t have come in here naughty pet”

“Now put these on” He held out a headband with some strange animal ears along with a long pink tail clip thing. 

Funny how he thinks I have the strength to do so

LE TIMESKIP

I wake up, for some reason, very sore, 

My neck.

My back.

WHY AM I SORE. AND WAIT A MINUTE….

AM I WEARING A RAT COSTUME??

AND TIED UP TO THE BED?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

AM I A RAT OR AM I A LADY?!? 

I notice a piece of paper next to the bed lamp. The paper said. 

Once a rat, always a rat.

I fume in anger. 

“Ah, it seems you’ve finally awakened” The monster I've come to know as Sukuna walks in, with the most punchable look on his face. If only I wasn’t tied up like this, I’d send this jerk flying. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. I WAS DRUGGED AND YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WHY IS MY BACK SORE?”

“It’s not my fault you hit the ground too hard.” {hehe you thought us 3 did something there} He walks over with an intense stare especially at the rat costume. 

I close my eyes. I look at the handcuffs, and rip it from the bed. 

“You really thought this was going to contain me?” mistake number 1 as I would later find out

“This is what it means to go even further beyond!” I charge at Sukuna, not caring for the consequences. “PLUS ULTRA” I swung as hard as I could, but at the last second my back gave out and I became like a worm on the floor writhing in pain. And he dodged it 

“Pathetic. Did you expect me to praise you?”

I look at him and give him a matching grin

“No, but look what I have”

I grab the same drug he used on me. His eyes go wide

“Wait-”

I spray it on him and he immediately goes to sleep. 

I make sure that he is asleep and immediately run out of the room. I grab my things from the servant quarters and run for it. Various maids looked on as I ran, I realized that I am still wearing the rat costume (AHHH SHIIIIIT).  

I then realize that I am like all those other women he fucks with, except dressed like a rat. I cannot be in a room with that… monster.

But is it cowardly to quit? Maybe. Is it the best option for the time being? Yes.

It truly is a shame he’s hot. During our encounter I noticed many MMA awards on his walls on that luscious deep red paint coat.

“I see the rat has found my awards” It was as if Sukuna had teleported behind me. 

I jump. HOW THE FUCK WAS HE AWAKE AND I HAD CRASHED?!

“Using my very own rat penis against me… Perhaps you are the one I’ve always been searching for.” With a swift grasp, he grabbed me like a potato sack, but more like a rat sack…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN” I fought against him, pulling his hair like a child.

He pulled me into an embrace, not letting me go. 

“You really gotta tone down the rat fetish man”

Sukuna’s grin only widened. “You sure are feisty. I think I’ll keep you, my little rat.” He isn’t fazed in the slightest by my attacks. 

I try to think of a smart remark to say back, but I can’t. This weird feeling I am having cannot be described in words. 

“You can keep me, but the rats gotta go,” I blurted out without thinking.

“...”

“So you’re saying I can keep you?” Sukuna’s eyes glistened mischievously. Surely he was plotting something to get his way, after all he firmly believed in his favorite quote: “Once a rat, always a rat”.

“NO GET YOUR STUPID RAT PENIS OUT OF MY FACE”

He grabs me by the waist and carries me bridal style (insert wedding music)

Afraid of falling, I instinctively clutched onto him, which caused Sukuna to have the most annoying grin on his face. At this point, I’d much rather be dropped. Afterall the floor is basically my home in this accursed place. 

“So my little rat…” Sukuna looked down at me, “Where to next?”

I look at Sukuna.

“The Floor, you dumb rat”

“Who’s the rat now?” I cackle.

The end fool.

Or not 👀.

69 likes and it could happen.

The retuuuuurn of the raaat

[paranoiddreams]

prev⟺next

Being Sukuna’s girlfriend is not always easy. He’s the type to show his love rarely, but when he does, it’s aggressive, to say the least.

You’ll often wake up with his large hand wrapped around your neck, his warm fingers just long enough to reach around your entire throat. At first, it was startling—a demon man you just started dating who shows basically no affection is choking you in your sleep? Was he trying to kill you and just got tired half way through??

All of your questions cease although, the moment you find out why he does this. You decided to pretend to be asleep one night as you were lying in his royal chambers, covered in love bites from moments before when he decided to suckle and nip at your skin—another strange way he shows his love for you. Your eyes flutter shut as soon as you hear him walk out of the bathroom, knowing he’s just finished brushing his teeth and is now ready for bed.

The mattress dips when he lies down next to you, inches away at first, but when you feel his large frame hover over your face to make sure you’re asleep, he moves right up against your back. You’re surprised to feel one of his muscular arms wrap tightly around your waist, the other reaching under your head so that you’re essentially using him as a pillow. His chest rumbles lowly when his hand moves below your chin, fingers carefully wrapping around your throat as usual.

You’re waiting for a squeeze, the tip of one of his nails jutting into your skin, or even a few harsh words in your ear. But all you feel next is his fingers tightening slowly, the tip of his index hovering just above your pulse point, before pressing into your soft, pliant skin. You feel your heart race against the pad of his finger, then another rumble from his chest against your back.

“Mine,” he whispers gently, before running his thumb over the soft edge of your jawline. He then presses one last kiss to the top of your head before lying his head down and closing his eyes.

Let’s just say, you never question his weird, sometimes animalistic, possession over you; because in reality, he’s just a big guy who doesn’t know how to express his unyielding love for you.

It’s givinggggggg tiger!sukuna. Should I…explore the waters of that concept more? I probably will despite the reaction to this💪🏻🫡

[kashverse]

the first time it happens, sukuna doesn't even react.

your daughter, a tiny little thing with a head full of wild hair that looks just like his but with your color, storms up to him while he's adjusting his tie. she's got a determined look on her face, a plastic figurine clutched in her tiny hands—a sonny angel doll, of all things.

"papa, hold," she demands, her chubby fingers working to shove it into the breast pocket of his pristine, custom-made suit. he looks down at her, red eyes blinking slowly. then he looks at you, standing off to the side, barely holding back your laughter.

"what is this?" he asks flatly.

"sonny angel," your daughter says like it's obvious. "he's cute. for you."

you make a choked noise behind your hand, and sukuna exhales through his nose. his baby girl, his tiny menace, is standing there with all the confidence of someone who has never been told 'no' in her life. because, well. she hasn't. so what does he do? he lets her shove the damn thing in his pocket. adjusts it a little so it's sitting neatly, because if he's going to have a tiny cherub-faced baby figurine sticking out of his suit, it's at least going to look intentional.

"happy?" he asks.

his daughter beams at him, gives his pant leg a firm pat like he's done a good job, then scurries off to continue whatever other toddler nonsense she was up to before this. you’re wheezing in the corner.

"don't say a word," he warns, fixing his cuffs.

you grin. "i didn't say anything."

cut to his meeting later that day. sukuna walks in like he owns the place (because he does), radiating his usual aura of dominance and unrelenting authority. his executives are already seated, tense and ready, knowing full well that sukuna does not entertain idiocy. but today? today there is something new. today, nestled neatly in the breast pocket of his three-piece suit, is a tiny, plastic baby figurine wearing a duck hat.

the entire room freezes.

one poor soul, likely new and unaware of how the corporate hierarchy works under sukuna, makes the grave mistake of letting out the faintest, almost imperceptible snort.

sukuna turns his head very slowly.

"who the fuck just laughed?"

silence. absolute, suffocating silence. the man looks down at his notes as if they might save him from impending doom.

sukuna leans back in his chair, tapping a clawed finger against the conference table.

"anyone else got something to say about my sonny angel?"

no one breathes.

good.

he conducts the rest of the meeting as if nothing is out of place, occasionally adjusting the little doll in his pocket like it's just another part of his attire.

by the end of the week, rumors have spread. no one dares to question the sonny angel. entire powerpoint presentations are given with the utmost professionalism while a tiny, smiling cherub peeks out of sukuna’s suit.

by the end of the month, it becomes an unofficial rule of the office. mock the sonny angel? fired. make a comment? fired. even looking at it for too long earns you a pointed glare.

and by the end of the quarter, the entire upper management team has started discreetly wearing their own sonny angels in solidarity. your daughter, completely oblivious to the corporate chaos she has caused, simply continues her toddler life, happy and content in the knowledge that her papa always carries her gift with him.

and sukuna? well. if having a tiny plastic baby in his pocket means seeing his little girl’s delighted grin every morning, then so be it.

[sluturu]

#SMAU ──★ texting the jjk men “i need you to come f—— me right now” to see their reaction !! ݁ ˖

featuring. g. satoru, g. suguru, n. kento, k. choso, f. toji, r. sukuna h. hiromi, k. shiu, i. takuma

cw. very suggestive (obvi), crass language & humor, very unserious, one (1) km$ joke, one (1) use of mommy MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

kit’s note. omg hello 🥹 this is my first smau (and post in general and im not nonchalant at all, i am very nervous), please be kind if u see any mistakes or if u dont like the content! i had a lot of fun making this so i’m open to requests/suggestions for more <3 likes, reblogs & comments are always appreciated !!

© all works belong to SLUTURU 2025. do not copy or repost.

[retiredteabag]

"The line is breaking up"

Including: Gojo, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna, Toji, Yuuji, Megumi, and special guests… Suguru and Ino !!

Synopsis: In which you end a phone call with them because of reception issues but they misunderstand…

my smau masterlists one and two

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

[nanaslutt]

“can your boyfriend fight?”

ʚ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, higuruma, shiu, ino, shoko, uraume

ʚ cont: suggestiveness, crack, fluff

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Not telling the JJK men you love them back over the phone

Tags: smau, fluff, crack, suggestive (only on Toji’s and Nanami’s slides)

An: I saw this prank being done on TikTok by a girl and her boyfriend, so I tried to replicate it in smau format with the JJK men so enjoy :) alsoooo how are we feeling about the new contact photos 🤭

Incl: Satoru, Suguru, Nanami, Choso, Toji, Sukuna, Yuji, Megumi, Inumaki

[sqtorux]

ˋ°•*⁀➷ · towel please!

⤿ you ask them to bring you a towel because you forgot one while you showered. these things happen :]

♥︎ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna, yuji, megumi, yuta and toge.

[rissouu]

they bond with your pet!

pairings: gojo satoru, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, megumi fushiguro, ryomen sukuna, yuji itadori, nanami kento, + choso kamo!

warnings: fluff fluff fluff :)

authors note: some random shit i was thinking abt guys so enjoyyy!

©rissouu 2024

masterlist

[loves4ge]

sending them nudes in the middle of an argument !

incl. nanami kento, sukuna ryomen, toji fushiguro

mdni ❌😔

[velvetcrimsonkisses]

SMAU- YOU ARE THE DESSERT !

Asking the guys to put whipped cream on them...

(Gojo, Geto, Toji, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna, Higuruma, Ino)

Masterlist Discord

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

To the Floor, From the rat

Sukuna x Reader crack

By: 3 crackheads (HAHA! YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ONE BUTS ITS ACTUALLY dio- i mean THREE 👹)

Disclaimer: dangerous amounts of crack ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED hehehe 👹. totally scary topics like rats with…penis??

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary: you are Sukuna’s maid and you’re paid to clean his enormous penthouse (and maybe something ELSE enormous but who really knows 👀). 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good god not the floors again!

Why does Master Sukuna always have me clean the floors?! Like, I could be cleaning literally anything else, but it’s always the floors *cries*. 

Maybe he just wants to see my non-existent ass? Who fucking knows at this point.

I rarely see the guy too. It's always a little rear glimpse here and maybe a sliver of hair there

He only tells me these things via text too, like I’ve never heard his voice. The other maids are starting to spread rumors around him. 

Some say he’s like ultra hot but an absolute dick but also that he’s like incredibly smart and doesn’t fuck around (his bedsheets really do beg to differ though, like good god the amount of cum stains on his bedspread)

He’s been having female visitors and it always ends with the woman crying and running away (coward). 

Some of the maids say his female visitors run away purely from seeing how enormous his cock is. Some even say it's because he continues till the visitor faints, even after they say no. 

Another says they run away from his expectations and are only there for their own pleasure

So now he just goes to hotels and such because why bring those women to his house and waste his time

Oh geez, thinking about Master Sukuna made me go toward his room.

Though I know he isn’t home and he didn’t ask me to clean up his room but hey what could be the harm though there’s still flooring in there so technically…

So now I find myself in his room with my jaw hitting the floor with how large it is. I look around more and find a wall full of pictures of women with “x” marks on them. 

Is he “thank you next” ing them?!?!

Before I can process, I see a small stash of pictures of the maids.

Oh no, oh no. He isn't-

“And who gave you permission to enter my room?”

I turn around and see him.

Sukuna.

“The floor gang!” I shouted at the strange unfamiliar man, supposedly the master of this house. It was almost as if a quest to get fired popped up.

Sukuna closed his eyes and sighs. He grabs a cigarette and proceeds to smoke. I look at him, wondering if he is going to fire me, or worse. 

It was then a tiny little furball scampered across the room. It seemed to be a screaming kitten that appears to have fallen into a trashcan as he was covered in trash. 

“QUICK GET THAT RAT” Sukuna screamed, causing me to jolt. 

“But master Sukuna why would you have a cat and not see it as such?”I chased the supposed kitten, now fearing for my life.

 As I tried to pounce on it, the kitten screamed out a weird noise. “SHEEEEEEESHH”

“Jeez you can’t even catch a small cat, what the fuck did I hire you for again?!?!”

“To make vegan eggs”

“Oh yes. You do make a pretty bussin vegan omlette”

Sukuna laughs, but then realizes something.  “Wait…What even the fuck is a vegan omlette?”

“A spicy version of connect 4” I answered snarkily.

“i-I what?”

Sukuna begins to look at me confused, but proceeds to keep his composure. 

“Don’t change the subject. Why were you in my room?”

“Well you see…” I looked around the room for an excuse and for a moment I didn’t have one

But catching sight of a statue on the floor that was clearly soiled. “That. I had to clean that, it’s clearly a biohazard.” “This?” Sukuna picks up the statue, showing some sort of mythical creature, a groundhog perhaps? No. A rat. Some will say it is a rat penis. 

“Y-yes sir it looked like it made a mess everywhere sir” 

“There is no need.” He quickly pocketed the questionable statue. “But since you’re here, I have a favor to ask of you…”

Ooooooh is it finally happening?!?! The moment all of us maids have been waiting for?!?!

“Can you draw what exactly a rat penis is??”

OH WHAT THE HECK??

Before I can even say anything, the world around me begins to fade away. My eyes start to feel exhausted. 

“Why am I feeling so… sleepy?”

“I see the drug is finally taking its effect on you”

I look at him, and gasp in shock. No way, how in tarnation was he able to drug me while we talked about the rat penis?

“WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO DRUG ME WHAT THE FUCK?”

“By the very statue that led you here. It was diffusing sleep powder into the air that only works on scrubs like yourself.” Sukuna grinned over my collapsed form on the ground. 

I start to feel very dizzy. The last thing i see is Sukuna’s smirking face. 

“You shouldn’t have come in here naughty pet”

“Now put these on” He held out a headband with some strange animal ears along with a long pink tail clip thing. 

Funny how he thinks I have the strength to do so

LE TIMESKIP

I wake up, for some reason, very sore, 

My neck.

My back.

WHY AM I SORE. AND WAIT A MINUTE….

AM I WEARING A RAT COSTUME??

AND TIED UP TO THE BED?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

AM I A RAT OR AM I A LADY?!? 

I notice a piece of paper next to the bed lamp. The paper said. 

Once a rat, always a rat.

I fume in anger. 

“Ah, it seems you’ve finally awakened” The monster I've come to know as Sukuna walks in, with the most punchable look on his face. If only I wasn’t tied up like this, I’d send this jerk flying. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. I WAS DRUGGED AND YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WHY IS MY BACK SORE?”

“It’s not my fault you hit the ground too hard.” {hehe you thought us 3 did something there} He walks over with an intense stare especially at the rat costume. 

I close my eyes. I look at the handcuffs, and rip it from the bed. 

“You really thought this was going to contain me?” mistake number 1 as I would later find out

“This is what it means to go even further beyond!” I charge at Sukuna, not caring for the consequences. “PLUS ULTRA” I swung as hard as I could, but at the last second my back gave out and I became like a worm on the floor writhing in pain. And he dodged it 

“Pathetic. Did you expect me to praise you?”

I look at him and give him a matching grin

“No, but look what I have”

I grab the same drug he used on me. His eyes go wide

“Wait-”

I spray it on him and he immediately goes to sleep. 

I make sure that he is asleep and immediately run out of the room. I grab my things from the servant quarters and run for it. Various maids looked on as I ran, I realized that I am still wearing the rat costume (AHHH SHIIIIIT).  

I then realize that I am like all those other women he fucks with, except dressed like a rat. I cannot be in a room with that… monster.

But is it cowardly to quit? Maybe. Is it the best option for the time being? Yes.

It truly is a shame he’s hot. During our encounter I noticed many MMA awards on his walls on that luscious deep red paint coat.

“I see the rat has found my awards” It was as if Sukuna had teleported behind me. 

I jump. HOW THE FUCK WAS HE AWAKE AND I HAD CRASHED?!

“Using my very own rat penis against me… Perhaps you are the one I’ve always been searching for.” With a swift grasp, he grabbed me like a potato sack, but more like a rat sack…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN” I fought against him, pulling his hair like a child.

He pulled me into an embrace, not letting me go. 

“You really gotta tone down the rat fetish man”

Sukuna’s grin only widened. “You sure are feisty. I think I’ll keep you, my little rat.” He isn’t fazed in the slightest by my attacks. 

I try to think of a smart remark to say back, but I can’t. This weird feeling I am having cannot be described in words. 

“You can keep me, but the rats gotta go,” I blurted out without thinking.

“...”

“So you’re saying I can keep you?” Sukuna’s eyes glistened mischievously. Surely he was plotting something to get his way, after all he firmly believed in his favorite quote: “Once a rat, always a rat”.

“NO GET YOUR STUPID RAT PENIS OUT OF MY FACE”

He grabs me by the waist and carries me bridal style (insert wedding music)

Afraid of falling, I instinctively clutched onto him, which caused Sukuna to have the most annoying grin on his face. At this point, I’d much rather be dropped. Afterall the floor is basically my home in this accursed place. 

“So my little rat…” Sukuna looked down at me, “Where to next?”

I look at Sukuna.

“The Floor, you dumb rat”

“Who’s the rat now?” I cackle.

The end fool.

Or not 👀.

69 likes and it could happen.

The retuuuuurn of the raaat

[obsesssedblerd]

Smau: "She just left. You can come over now." 😏

- the jjk guys pranking you by texting you "she just left, come over"

nanami, shiu, sukuna, choso, gojo, geto, and toji

contains: crack lol

a/n: something fun while we wait for pt. 4 of the anniversary series 💓

[kashverse]

imagine the horror on sukunas face when his daughter starts saying the slangs he uses 😭

it was bound to happen. sukuna’s vocabulary was always going to come back to bite him in the ass. you just didn’t think it would be your sweet, precious angel who would be the one to scream—

"FUCK!"

—in the unusually quiet sukuna household.

you froze. sukuna froze. the houseplants probably froze. there was a pin-drop silence as you slowly turned to look at your sweet baby girl, standing in the middle of the living room with her tiny fists clenched, an identical scowl to her father’s on her face.

"…baby," you said carefully, "what did you just say?"

"FUCK!" she repeated, as if testing out the weight of the word, her face scrunching in concentration. you gasped. 

"sukuna."

"why the fuck are you looking at me?" sukuna hissed, then immediately winced. "shit—fuck—damn it!"

"papa said a bad word!" babykuna pointed, looking gleeful.

"you just said it first!" sukuna yelled, looking personally betrayed. you rubbed your temples, already feeling a headache coming on. “where did you even learn that word?” 

your baby girl blinked at you. "from papa."

you turned your head so slowly towards your husband that you swore you heard your neck crack.

"of course she did."

sukuna was silent.

"baby," you knelt down in front of your daughter, taking her tiny hands in yours. "we don’t say that word, okay?"

her little face fell, eyes glistening with tears as she realized you weren’t pleased. "did i…" she sniffled, voice wobbling, "did i dis’point mama?"

oh. oh no. you felt actual heartbreak rip through your chest as you scooped her up, hugging her tight. "no, no, no, baby, you could never disappoint me—"

but before you could fully reassure her, she burst into tears, wailing, "i don’t wanna make mama sad—!"

"shit," sukuna muttered, running a hand down his face. "now look what you did."

"what i did?!" you shot back, eyes blazing. "you're the reason she knows that word in the first place!"

"it's a normal word!" sukuna argued, throwing his arms up. "people say it everyday!"

"SHE'S FIVE!"

as you continued to yell, sukuna slowly retreating into the corner of the room, crouching down, his arms wrapped around his knees. he was silent. too silent. you paused mid-rant, suddenly aware of the existential crisis happening behind you.

"…sukuna?"

he didn’t respond. just stared into the abyss, eyes vacant. "i failed as a parent," he muttered to himself, voice hollow. "my baby girl… my princess… she swore before she even learned to spell properly. i—i’ve corrupted her—"

you blinked. "sukuna, what the hell—"

"don't cuss in front of her!" he snapped, looking devastated.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!"

"mama said a bad word!" babykuna gasped.

"oh my god." you wanted to scream.

[sluturu]

#SMAU ──★ they're jealous!

featuring. g. satoru, g. suguru, n. kento, k. choso, f. toji, r. sukuna h. hiromi, k. shiu, i. takuma

cw. suggestive in some, mentions of violence, jealousy MINORS DNI 18+

kit's note. not my finest work... i felt like i was being repetitive so i'm sorry this isn't perfect! i hope you enjoy nonetheless! likes, comments & reblogs are always appreciated <3

smau m.list — send a request

© all works belong to SLUTURU 2025. do not copy or repost.