#or just Didn't Care bc it reflected badly on them.

[strryhaze]

bobby & david kennedy

“There was some level on which David tapped his father’s sensitivity. You would find him walking with David or with his arm around David. David just seemed to need it.”

— chuck mcdermott.

“If his father’s death hit David harder than the others, it was because there had been a special bond between them—both were the runts of the litter, sandwiched into the middle of a large family. He was the only one in the family who hadn’t been enthusiastic about the run for the presidency. For weeks after his father’s announcement, David had been plagued by recurring nightmares about Bobby’s death. Distraught over episodes that seemed premonitory, and missing the special attention his father had given him, David had gotten in trouble for throwing rocks at cars passing by Hickory Hill. The day of the California primary, he had joined his father in Los Angeles. The two of them had been swimming and he had felt himself being carried out by the undertow when his father grabbed him, scraping his own head on the ocean floor as he reached for David’s slippery arm. With a teenager’s melodrama, David had decided that he owed his father a life and would look for an opportunity to pay him back in the years ahead. That night as he sat in front of the television set in his room in the Ambassador Hotel and watched [his father] bleeding on the floor downstairs, one of the thoughts he had was that the debt would be forever undischarged.”

“As the worst year of their young lives came to a close, they decided to surprise their mother at Christmas with a book comprised of letters about their father. David’s said: ‘Daddy was very funny in church because he would embarrass all of us by singing very loud. Daddy did not have a very good voice. There will be no more football with Daddy, no more swimming with him, no more riding and no more camping with him. But he was the best father there ever was and I would rather have him for a father for the length of time I did than any other father for a million years.”

— the kennedy’s, peter collier & david horowitz.

“David looked at himself in those pictures like they were a strange sort of mirror. He looked at them half a dozen times at least, mesmerized by them, and he kept asking me questions. There was a tremendous desire to know his father, to really know him.”

— john seigenthaler.

“David and Bobby were so close. They were inseparable. David was small, a runt like Bobby had been.” Ethel then explained to Noelle (her secretary) that David had always been a very sensitive youngster, very introverted, "not like the other boys. He and I would go and pick flowers while his brothers were killing each other with their crazy games", Ethel recalled with a smile.

— ethel kennedy.

“I think about death a lot. Time hasn’t erased the death of my father from my mind. My family thinks I’m no good and that I’ll never beat my problem. They’ve written me off. I’m trying to get it together, but it’s so difficult. I’m having a terrible time at it. And the thing I want most in the world is the approval of my family, but they want nothing to do with me. All I want is to be with my father.”

— david kennedy, april 1984.

“Like his family, his friends had all wondered at one time or another if he would kill himself; but when it finally came his death was nonetheless shocking. ‘I keep asking myself why. Why David? Why now? All I can come up with is that maybe his father was looking down from heaven and saw all the hell these people were putting him through and said, ‘Come on, You’ve suffered enough. It’s time you were up here with me.’”

— nancy narleski.

Years after David Kennedy’s death, his cousin, Patrick Kennedy recalled a haunting and heartbreaking recollection he had with his father, Teddy, sitting beside his cousin’s casket: “My father remembered Bobby telling him that, as a father, he needed to spend more time with David. He also recounted a story Uncle Bobby had told him just before his own death. On the day before the California primary, the Robert Kennedys had gone swimming in Malibu, to relax together. David had been knocked over by a wave and got caught in the undertow, and his father had come to his rescue. When Uncle Bobby told my father this story, he talked about ‘the undertow’ in broader terms, how there was an undertow in life and David, who was only then thirteen, already seemed vulnerable to it. And then, just hours later, Uncle Bobby was murdered as David watched the TV coverage in their hotel room upstairs. It was unbelievably poignant to hear my father tell this story. David was in the casket next to us. And I wasn’t that much older than David when his father worried whether he could survive the undertow.”

[rowie264]

For me it's easier to sympathize zaunite characters rather than piltovan ones simply because they have self-awareness

Silco knows he flooded Zaun with drugs, he knows what this shit does to people. He does it anyway to achieve his main goal - Nation of Zaun.

Jinx is aware she is crazy. She basically spells it out in s1 ep9. She knows that she killing ppl is bad. She just doesn't care

Sevika is Silco's right hand man. She does dirty job for him and and understands perfectly well how his methods affect Zaun. She doesn't even question it because his methods work, and as long as they work, she will work with him.

Singed is just the same. He'll do anything for his daughter no matter how horrific his actions are. He doesn't justify it, simply states it was "for love".

And what we have with piltovan characters? You see because s2 is trying to pretend that oppression wasn't such big thing all piltovan characters looks even worse.

Caitlyn gasses people (and not only barons and their goons, gas spreads), using her priveledge as a Sheriff and Councilor's daughter. She never adresses that and never spells out what had she'd done. Like, yeah, she says "we can't erase our mistakes" (s2 ep8) probably not meaning just Jinx's but also her own but that's so… shallow. Like writers couldn't let her really say aloud what she'd done and face consequences bc it would makes bad things too real.

Heimerdinger was one of the founders of Piltover and councilor. He either didn't know, either didn't care to figure out what happens in Undercity for decades. Like, he goes to Zaun after he gets kicked out from Council and finally realises how badly ppl live there but… he just closes his eyes on it? Again?

Jayce killed that kid in s1 and regretted it but once his mother tries to revenge him? Builds weapons immidiately as countermeasure and moves on. He kills dozens of zaunites in Viktor's commune by killing Viktor and doesn't show even a hint of remorse. Like yeah, they were gonna become creepy robots but you know they were still humans when he killed Viktor. Also he (with approval of the Council for sure) places that Hexgates' big core (dont remember how that shit was called) underground and if that thing would blow up Zaun would be left without water and fresh air. Spelled out by Ekko and immediately forgotten.

In the end by removing characters' awareness of their actions and lack of reflection makes piltovan characters either hypocrites, either stupid, either both. And no, i don't want all these characters to be punished for what they did (all chars - except Ekko maybe - would end up in jail lol) I just want characters to realize what they did. I want impact of their actions/inactions. I want real consequences. I want them to face these consequences, not just brush it aside. And then i want them to act according to their personalities, even if i personally wouldn't like what they'd do.

[ilikekidsshows]

Often I see "Any time Adrien feels awful the writers put Marinette through the emotional wringer so he puts his needs aside to help her" used to explain what is happening in the show, but tbh, I wouldn't call that entirely accurate

What happens is that Marinette cries louder and in more destructive ways, that doesn't make what she goes through worse. Marinette by now becomes an emotional wreck any moment she feels discomfort or is challenged in some way.

Just because she always has huge reactions to anything that doesn't go her way doesn't it mean it's actually THAT bad when you put it into perspective with other characters.

That's what I already felt was the case in season 4. The amount of times Marinette lost her mind at any little challenge she faced made her rather seem like a questionable protagonists since her priorities never lead to anything worthwhile. They just have her panic as a cheap way to have her brute force her way through the narrative because that's supposed to excuse all the victims of her actions and behaviour.

But having her 24/7 panic and cry is just not enough to change the fact that most of her "problems" aren't real problems, they just always have her go about everything in the worst possible way and then story blames everyone else for her shit priorities.

Yes, she had no guidance, but 1) Suhan was yet another character girlbossed into submission bc he wasn't allowed to have any point whatsoever cause "how else can Marinette be the true Queen of the Miraculous?". Doesn't mean he wasn't THERE. Adrien in Furious Fu even asked Suhan to fucking HELP them with his experience, that's more willingness to be reasonable about the guardian situation and learn than Marinette EVER was. It was her either entirely HER way or entirely SUHANS way.

And 2) does she need to have her hand held that much that she cant be expected to know that making any kind of effort to FIND Hawkmoth is more important than making her useless team of yes men? but I guess we all know why they had her prioritize the yes men.

If Marinette really is so emotionally instable and confused that she can't possibly be asked to do her job and look for the villain she was chosen to defeat then how is that not clear proof that Marinette is a shit guardian choice. Ironically, if Suhan had actually taken LB's and CN's Miraculous and the Miracle Box and given them to adults, then the new heros might have even CARED to end this fight.

In hindsight, pretty much everything reflects even worse on Marinette when it already didn't look too well for her in season 4. But damn, Marinette is all around a pretty fatal failure. The team was a waste of time, all the privileges Alya got on Adrien's expense proved themselves entirely wasted on her in season 5 too (dgmw, I truly like her, but that's just objectively the case. Everything Alya got that Cat Noir got denied was entirely wasted on her), Marinette never even tried finding Hawkmoth and only did so when Feligami did her entire job and made it possible for her to be present in the finale herself that hurt the entire word's population bc our main character put any little problem in her life before ever caring about the villain she was supposed to defeat.

If Kagami hadn't made Felix tell Marinette, Marinette would have spend the finale crying in her bed bc her boyfriend is gone. I always thought it was too harsh to say that Marinette is a badly chosen protagonist, but the show itself sure made that statement true. She just doesn't care about anything tat ever happens beyond how it affects herself. So we got nowhere.

---

I think this is a case of “how it started” versus “how it's going”, although the underlining theme of “Marinette cries harder over smaller problems than other characters have” has been there since the start. Like, I’m pretty sure I’ve said that almost word-for-word, I started off viewing Marinette’s emotional breakdowns as more justified, until I started to notice how many cases were just her blubbering because she was caught up in her own mistakes. Like, the New York Special and season four finale are understandable, she went through some shit anyone would need a cry over there. The problem was that even then Cat Noir also had justified or even bigger reasons to be upset, but he was forced to be fine for Marinette's sake but the same is never asked from Marinette. In addition, once I actually forced myself to watch the NY special again, I realized that, between “collateral damage in Paris she can't fix” and “Adrien has to leave a school trip early”, the school trip thing is the thing she cries about the hardest. Our heroine cares more about not seeing her crush for a few days than the supposed failure that made her turn her back on her partner.

That made me realize that it really was all about Marinette's own screwed up priorities. It's all about her love quest with only the minimum consideration given to her duties as a superhero and the Guardian of the Miraculous. Like, every time she makes some kind of effort in superheroics, it's way too late into the game and almost always some kind of nonsense that brings her no closer to actually stopping Hawk Moth. Like, she tracks where Akumas show up as late as season 5, when we already know Hawk Moth’s pattern by heart by then. Also the fucking Miraculous trick box she tinkered with and showed off that then ended up being pointless because she made it so convoluted she decided to put the Miraculouses up in cloud to make calling backup heroes easier. Making Alya her confidant led to more time being spent on making sure that Alya doesn't do anything Marinette doesn't approve than doing anything useful in the long term 

Félix and Kagami told her who Hawk Moth was and she did nothing with that info. She wasn't worried about what this would mean for Adrien, she was only worried that Gabriel was against their romantic relationship. Maybe, if Marinette had spared a single thought to her heroic duty outside of what's right in front of her nose, she wouldn't have had to quickly decide what to do and might not have ended up covering for Gabriel and feeling so bad about it. Like, I already know our protagonist can't be arsed to think about others, but she could have made things easier for herself, at least.

The only contest Marinette is winning is the Who Can Cry the Hardest contest. She's a fucking champ at blowing things out of proportion.

[princess-of-the-corner]

I hope you're still okay with such Anon asks about Chloé, I wasn't quite sure who to ask this because of how divisive of a topic this is now and you seemed to be the right person.

I've been rewatching some 2000s Cartoons I grew up with and it really made me realize how badly Chloé's trope is ruined in Miraculous.

Chloé was the regular local bully bitch character. Ain't nothing groundbreaking here.

She's the likes of Bonnie from Kim Possible, Mizzi and Chimera from Winx Club, Dash and Paulina from Danny Phantom, Pacifica from Gravity Falls, and Brit and Tiff Crust from Teenage Robot

Or, you know, 10 billion other cartoon characters that fit this trope

And yet Chloé very obviously stands out as the one who was incorrectly utilized by her show. Bonnie, Dash & Paulina, and Pacifica for example were never given a pass for being the MC's bullies, but the shows still were confident enough in their writing and main characters that they were allowed to have sympathetic and even heroic scenes. Bc the shows understood that the bully characters were meant as side antagonists and minor inconveniences for the main character in comparison to the actual villains. So developing them positively works very well once their bully actions overstepped their welcome in the big picture.

Bullying is horrible, no shit, but cartoons normally are very much aware that the bully characters have little to no business overshadowing the real villains the way Miraculous insists on doing it.

Even the characters like Mizzi & Chimera or Tiff and Brit Crust, that weren't shown in any more sympathetic light, the shows knew how to properly utilize them. Either by mostly keeping them as minor antagonistic that don't need more focus, or they were only in the story for a limited period of time or specific usages.

Miraculous on the other hand has the main character(s) ignore all the ACTUAL adult villains she should be looking for and taking care of because instead the show made it its job to portray two school bullies as evil incarnated. As if that doesn't reflect increasingly worse on the main characters. Like in Revolution where everybody collectively ignored that Chloé obviously needed POWERS to pull off what she did, but the characters couldn't look past the "she's a bully grrrr 😠" which lead to Paris slowly being imprisoned and physically enslaved in front of the heros' eyes and Hawkmoth almost winning!

The local bully is supposed to be a level 1 antagonist the story and MCs normally grow out of because very clearly there are much bigger fishes to fry. But Miraculous deemed Marinette having been bullied as the biggest injustice and display of suffering in the plot, so naturally our heros end up being nothing but incompetent when it comes to their actual JOBS.

Who cares that Ladybug (with Cat's quiet support) basically victim blamed all of Paris into going on a suicide mission to stop an almost allmighty Monarch for the defeated Ladybug and Cat Noir, because Ladybug just said that they never needed heros in the first place (which, yes Marinette, THEY DID.) Lets ignore that the only reason why Ladybug's words didn't result in a mass slaughter of the vulnerable civilians she was supposed to protect is because GABRIEL made Chloe the weakest Akuma to date and gave her robots nothing but the safest powers. So nothing Marinette had any hand in or even knew of before she as good as attempted to send the civilians into the final battle without any help of Ladynoir...

But I guess its fine bc Marinette was looking at her bully. Of course the innocent civilians had to be hyped up to go on a potential suicide mission to save Ladynoir from Chloe and MONARCH (who should have showed up there literally any second but didn't because Gabriel is stupid for Marinette's sake)

Our main characters were apparently so overwhelmed by Chloé's meanness that needed to be put in place, who could possibly think and acts heroric anymore? 😒

And this entire mess we could have easily avoided if the show just had it done NORMALLY by not forcing Chloe into a role her trope doesn't fucking belong in in the big picture.

Yeah exactly like

In those other examples, even with the bullies staying in an antagonistic role, they're never anywhere near a Main Threat.

Yeah in Season 1 the protagonist is having a hard time with them because hey the protag is /just now/ a Hero and gaining confidence. But my later seasons? The bully is an annoyance ofc but the protag literally does not care they've handled so much worse and the bully only ever becomes a problem when a legit big bad decides to use them against them.

And then yeah letting the bullies be more well-rounded characters even if they don't get a proper 'redemption arc' per say.

Let's take Dash because he's actually the closest example to how Chloé was in Season 1-3: Yes he was a bully and that was bad. The show didn't go too much into his home life, but it did make it clear how much the school enabled him/ignored his actions because he was a football player. Though he was someone Danny was scared of early on, he quickly became something Danny just rolled his eyes at or even fought back. But Dash also very much looked up to the local Hero and saw him as an inspiration(unknowing the Hero was someone he bullied), and had several episodes where he teamed up with Danny(both Phantom /and/ Fenton) to save the day.

And yeah that- that's pretty much how Chloé was! If you didn't want to give her a full Redemption, just keep her in that weird spot!

[roobylavender]

do you think bruce is abusive? i don't mean in the physical way they've been writing his as recently but emotionally.

it's very clear that he does love his children but some abusers do genuinely love the people they hurt and just think they are in the right (thinking of my own dad who somehow couldn't understand why we didn't want to talk to him because he always took care of us but treated our mother. badly. and in front of us when we were little kids.)

and i'm not sure whether i count bruce in that because while it doesn't look like what i'm familiar with i thought i'd ask because only recently i've actually come across people who see him as abusive but do actually see the character as he is and love it and i was wondering what you thought

sorry if i'm dumping too much on you or it isn't something you want to answer, feel free to delete/ignore, i just think the answer is more interesting from people who genuinely love and understand bruce as a character as you seem to and i've only seen it from two other people so i wondered what you thought

i don't mind answering! this is one of those asks where i wish i tagged my stuff bc i've talked about it before but my outbox tag is so populated that it takes way too long to search through lol (and unfortunately as we all know tumblr's in-blog search function is broken beyond repair). but tldr i would say bruce as he's existed for the past thirty years or so is abusive. my divergence in opinion is simply that i don't think he ever should have been made so. his more modern characterization as someone reactive and prone to lashing out at others, particularly his children, has never made sense to me and i don't think it's heavily supported by pre-crisis canon. the extent of bruce's failings as a parent should reflect his inability to communicate and his growing tendency to be a shut-in. which i know some people take to be comparable to neglect but ig i don't think it should ever go that far.. like when i say inability to communicate i don't mean him failing to take care of his kids or giving them their due attention when he's raising them but moreso falling into a pit of despair and guilt once they've reached adulthood bc he feels like he's signed their death note by enabling their lives as vigilantes. i do think parentification can potentially come into it but ideally i would want it to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later if that makes sense. like we should've been over bruce's depressive "i'm a terrible parent and everyone i love dies so i should just do everything on my own and slowly k*ll myself in the process" episode by the early 00s at latest. and it should've been acknowledged that a large part of what drove him into that depressive episode was jason's death, so realistically being given the time and space to process jason's death and its implications properly would have allowed for bruce to seek closure and move forward and be less.. whatever he is now. to me the successive whammies of identity crisis and war games and under the hood deliberately thwarted that

[zukkaoru]

do you have any thoughts on time skipped knkdz? ada president kunikida has my heart so much i need content of him. also parent kunikidazai has my heart they’re girl dads to me :,)

(not a fic request just a thought)

sorry anon i am a firm believer in dazai not wanting kids 🙏 however i do enjoy ada president kunikida and will happily offer you some other time skip kunidazai thoughts:

kunikida.. struggles at first when he takes over as president. he wants so badly to make sure he's living up to fukuzawa's legacy and doing everything perfect - but exactly how fukuzawa did it instead of doing what works best for him.

all of the ada tries their best to help kunikida realize that they like him as he is and they don't need him to be fukuzawa 2.0; they just want him to be kunikida. but dazai especially, because they all know dazai is the one kunikida will listen to and believe most

they do have a Talk about kids at one point. dazai is convinced that him not wanting them will be a dealbreaker so he avoids that conversation like the plague until he literally can't anymore. but kunikida would rather have dazai, even if that means their family doesn't look like the Ideal Family he planned out

aya stays over sometimes, which dazai likes better as she gets older

aya and dazai had a.. strained relationship at first. because dazai doesn't know how to interact with kids and doesn't trust himself around them. but eventually, once he got over himself and actually had one normal conversation with her, he realized that she's actually okay

when aya is in high school, she comes over to visit and gossips with dazai while kunikida makes dinner

and kunikida helps her with her math homework ofc

back to the ada.. as president, kunikida finds himself turning to dazai for advice and help quite a bit. at first, dazai is put off by this because he does Not want to be the leader himself. he didn't want that with the mafia and he doesn't want it with the ada either

after a few months of dazai pulling away and telling kunikida to go ask ranpo instead, kunikida confronts him about it. and dazai realizes kunikida goes to him for help first because they're partners, not because he's expecting dazai to help him lead

dazai is more than happy to help when needed after that. but kunikida also tries to go to ranpo and yosano for advice when it's something that fits their expertise more than dazai's

of course of courseeee we still have canezai. by this point, dazai has grown used to his cane but he still has bad pain days - especially on days when it rains. kunikida is always more lenient towards him on those days

likewise, kunikida has bad days with his hand tremors, and dazai will force him to take breaks or go home if it's really bad

they're both good at telling when the other is having a bad day with just one look

i absolutely love the idea of them adopting a cat as well,, i've lowkey adopted lena's hc of them finding a cat that is blind in one eye and missing a leg to reflect dazai's disabilities

dazai and the cat take naps in the sun together <3 (kunikida has a photo album on his phone full of pictures of them napping together)

kunikida & dazai's apartment is always always a safe place for any of the agency members to come if they ever need anything. dazai doesn't like having other people in his space but after kyouka comes to them on the brink of a panic attack after being chased by a dog, dazai remembers he does actually like helping the people he cares about. and he accepts kunikida's "always open door" policy

they can't get married and dazai is too wary of commitment for that anyway, so instead of rings they get complementary necklaces. they both typically tuck the necklaces beneath their shirts so few people know they're their and even fewer realize what they mean, but it's less of a "showing off that i'm in a relationship" thing and more of a private agreement between them. they don't need anyone else to know

i'll stop there bc this is longer than i expected but. yeah <3 they <3

[namtanlovesfilm]

now that the krusty elements concert is over, i'm cackling while thinking about that one anon who said that gun doesn't like krusty anymore, only for them to do a whole ass romantic skit/act and krusty slapping gun's ass and then gun doing a kissy face to krusty ...💀 yeah as much as the fans like to think that their faves pick and choose their peers based on saint-o-meter, i think most of the people/actors in the thai BL industry (not only gmmtv, there are problematic people in other companies who are doing just fine today) simply do not care about these problematic behaviour as much as their fans/we do. i even saw pp krit and gun hugging and kissing f*ei during an event. 💀💀💀💀

I think it's bc they still have to act professional with everyone bc it's their colleagues, so even if you don't agree with someone you can't really ignore them or publicly call them out or it will reflect badly on you, ESPECIALLY if everyone involved is in the same company like the examples you gave. there's also a huge difference between thai fans & inter fans, and often times an actor gets cancelled solely by inter fans so they get to keep all of their benefits since all of their revenue from projects, ads, fanmeets, etc. are in thailand. that's why krist is hated in the inter fandom but could sell out two concerts in like a day in thailand, and why foei is also hated but still is the ambassador for chang, the biggest beer company in thailand, alongside bright. especially for foei, I think thai fans genuinely didn't realize that him reblogging that video was lgbtq-phobic bc it was in english and can be very hard to miss if you're not already politicized enough to understand the implications of it. so yes, very rarely is there true consequences for a thai actor, and their colleague keep interacting normally bc most of the time they don't know any better.

xxx

[webslingingslasher]

hi! sleepover anon here. thank you so much for taking your time to read and to respond to it :’)

ur absolutely right, that night showed me who they really are deep down... in fact, it made me realize that they haven't changed since high school which is actually rly sad... i've had my own faults too from high school, but at least i did change and i changed a lot to know now that what they did was completely wrong. high school me would have tolerated that and talked shit for fun too, but now? no. i only talk shit when i actually have an issue with the person i'm talking about, and rightfully so (which is actually why we were talking abt the guy i liked a few months ago but that didn't age so well in our conversation...). but they were just straight up talking badly abt our friends who did nothing wrong to them and basically did that for fun and made fun of them behind their backs...

and to the person who said "people who misuse information between 'friends' are not friends" - you're absolutely right. and they rly are people i once knew back in the day and they haven't changed a bit. it's crazy bc we had the entire pandemic to do all the self-reflection and self-care shit and i rly took advantage of that. idk what they did... i'm not saying i'm perfect, i still have my own flaws, but at least i'm working on them. like, the fact that i'm actually willing to confront my bffs abt it is a huge step bc if not, i would have ghosted n completely cut them off already 😭 that's my red flag i fear... still working on it. i need to communicate properly and i rly do need to bc these people have been my friends for a long time, and i know better now to know i can't just cut them off like how high school me would. i need to face them and the problem.

but anw... i thought about it, and i'm still giving them a chance. i'm still giving us a chance. but i'm gonna tell them that things won't be the same and they shouldn't expect me to come to them about anything as often. they violated my trust, and they're never going to earn it back bc i won't let them. i could never trust them after *that*... but i don't want to cut them off completely. we can still be friends and hangout if they want to, but i'll just never tell them anything and i'll never trust them with anything again.

thank you again for reading/listening and responding to it, and to that person who gave their two cents. it rly helped and i appreciate it very much<333

good on your for sticking to your boundaries!!!!

[bi-mirandalawson]

okay so i just finished veilguard

endgame spoilers

okay i KNEW that bitch was dead. i KNEW 'take care of the team for me' was something a dead man would say. i also love that solas ??? blood magicked us into forgetting it ?????? absolutely insane.

sucks that harding died. but like. i dont know for sure but i think the alternative was davrin dying ? and like. no offense to harding but that would have really sucked if davrin died ?? narratively it would have been worse than harding dying.

davrin's whole everything already feels like it was so overshadowed by the griffon stuff. especially at the end !!!!! his end card didn't even mention him and what he's doing, it was about the griffon choice that HE DIDNT EVEN MAKE.

and THAT fucking sucked. it felt like. with each of the companions, there was a path you were guiding/pushing them on. ESPECIALLY with davrin ! i didn't mind how closely his personal stuff was tied in with the griffons, bc it was reflections of the same thing. a warrior deciding if that's all he will ever be. and i was very consistent in how i reacted to all of his conversations and quests and stuff. but then at the end its like. none of it made any difference bc he just turned the choice over to me. and That was the final deciding factor. i don't like that !!

also. allow me to be petty for a moment. i didn't feel anything when harding died. i dont think i even felt anything when varric was revealed dead. idk if it is about the actual game and writing or if something is different with Me. (i am medicated now lmao)

but a lot of the time i was playing da:v i was like. this wants so badly to be mass effect. specifically 2 and/or 3. but it isn't. nobody's death got me like mordin's did.

but here's the other thing: idk if rook will live in my head like the warden or hawke or inquisitor. i loved making rook in the cc. i am excited to get back into the cc and see what else i can do. but i am not rotating him in my mind like i have done for others. i'm not trying to connect him to my worldstate or other ocs. i'm not even concerned with his post-game life.

oh my god and speaking of the inquisitor. that was NOT my fucking inquisitor. mellona was a fucking bitch who hated solas and would not have sympathy towards him in any way. and would Not be trying to get my rook to just Talk to him. i hated every moment she showed up actually. i dont think it was necessary and i dont think it added anything. it would probably be different with a solasmancing inq ??? i'll load romelos in next time and see.

did i enjoy it ? yes. if nothing else, the combat was fun. the only annoying parts of the gameplay were the fucking crystals. and how INCREDIBLY EASY it is to fall to your death. dear god i fell off the edge so many times.

last thought: even though i said i want to get into the cc, i dont want to dive back in to the game immediately. which is probably the most damning thing i've said about it. knowing me and knowing how many games i have finished and then Immediately started again bc i didn't want to leave yet.

[sparring-spirals]

Do you think Laudna would hold some resentment when she heard about how it went down? I saw some people saying she would have done anything to make them choose Imogen and I can see her begging them to choose her, if not doing more, but Imogen didn't even plead. Laudna is very kind and puts oother people before herself, so I don't think Laudna would be mean to anyone because of that, but deep down, do you think it would sting? As in "I would do it all for her, but she wouldn't do half for me?"

Okay, so, I think this question is kind of doubled, because there's the direct question of "How would Laudna feel about how her death went down with everyone else & Imogen's role in it", but I also think there's a secondary implicit question of. "Did Imogen really try everything she could/if Imogen cares so much why didn't she try harder or offer more pushback/ reacted More or done something more in the moment" which I. Would like to address. Perhaps a bit defensively. So. Sorry.

tl:dr: I really do not jibe with the reading of "Imogen not fighting harder was bc she didn't care enough" interpretation, and while i could maybe see Laudna taking in the series of events as a sort of awful condemnation/indicator about how important/valued she is. I think its more likely for that to reflect in a negative self estimation/affirmation rather than resentment towards the others.

But to focus on the first q, first:

I don't know if Laudna would hold resentment, per se. I think that whole situation was an absolute nightmare and there were no good choices, and I don't see a world where Laudna comes back and doesn't see that, or try to understand that. Could hearing about it drive home some personal fears and bad feelings and questions for Laudna? Yeah, defs. But i feel like that negativity has a higher chance of going in than out. I think it could sting, sure. But I'm not sure Laudna, at least the Laudna we knew as she died, would have the mindset to view it as a "Well I would have, so why didn't she?". Rather than a, say: "Well. Of course. Of course." (And tbh, Laudna's opinion of Imogen is such that I'd be surprised if she heard ANY eval of the sitch and went "Well why didn't Imogen do more" instead of "Well I'm sure my beloved light and Target of Many Projections And Hopes did everything she could AND she brought me back, so-". I am saying this with the requisite levels of exasperation and affection.)

Also along those lines- I don't know yet what the Bells are going to do to try to get her back. But i think that would influence it as well. Bc i don't think they're going to make small swings.

And for the second, implicit question, which tbh I- really don't agree with. At least 40% of it might be personal read on Imogen and just Personal Beliefs, so I'm going to lay out as much of it as possible and we can go from there. If this is knee-jerk and off topic, my apologies.

Okay first, can we just- all agree that the entire situation was a clusterfuck from top to bottom? it was dire as hell, folks. Three of them died. It must have felt like a miracle it wasn't more. Everyone rattled and still trying to act. Fearne, freshly not dead, had never even done a revivify, and they were looking at. An impossible choice. Two are down. You can only choose one.

How do you choose which of your friends to kill?

(Let's be real. In that situation, that's what you're choosing.)

I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart read Imogen as the kind of character who is very used to pressing down her comforts and her wants to get things done. In regular situations.

So what happens when you want something, you want it so badly it feels like it could kill you if you lose it, when you need something, and you also know, you know with zero doubt, that pursuing that want means you kill your other friend.

What happens when this whole shitshow feels like it is your fault, your memory is still fresh with these friends dying to send a message to you, personally. What the fuck kind of right do you have to demand, your other friend die for this, for her, (for you, for your wants).

And at this point maybe we get a: Okay but this isn't about Imogen, this is about LAUDNA, who is the one who actually needs to be brought back to life, this is about Orym, whose life hangs in the balance as well.

And you're right. You're so right and I have so many feelings about it here have this excellent meta by @professorthaddeus about it so i don't add 8 more paragraphs here but yes. It's not about Imogen, right? it shouldn't be.

that's the point. that's the problem. i really, really think the depth of that want played right into why Imogen wouldn't have pushed back more, why Imogen was desperately trying to figure out an option that wouldn't kill one for the other- threatening Delilah, mentioning Laudna having been dead before. This wasn't about Imogen. This couldn't be, not with Orym lifeless looking up and Fearne's voice shaking and Laudna dead, Laudna dead-

(Imogen had also tried pleading, she had just pleaded, she had begged and tried to give in and- it hadn't done anything. It had accomplished literally nothing, her begging and desperation had done nothing but expose her friends as weak spots for Otohan to target and oh god that is so. so fucked up.)

(Also none of this even takes into account the whole "Imogen was probably still extremely shell shocked and disoriented after being a human shockwave and probably in some level of denial", but know I'm counting that too).

(ALSO the way Imogen yelled at Ashton after to treat Laudna's body with dignity, more than once. Those outbursts and insistences are just so. just so.)

And okay one last thing is this, which is this meta about Imogen and how she deals with Problems vs how Laudna does and I think its maybe relevant again.

god im getting off track a bit here maybe but like- i really think Imogen's reaction was heartbreaking and so fueled by love and fear and shock and panic and- understandable given a nightmare of a situation.

and i definitely think the details of this might impact Laudna, if she were to hear about it, although in what ways, as always, remain to be seen. But my guess is- not good for her self esteem. Everything else is a bit more up in the air.

[sick-ada]

OKAY SO HERE'S THE OVERVIEW:

marie and callie swap, classic. marie still wins the final fest but she's the one who gets kidnapped and hypnoshaded

flora and bola swap. for those who i havent brainrotted about these guys at, flora is my agent 4 and bola is his roomie/squadmate/platonic bestie/whatever who's unassociated with the NSS. the swap in this context means that bola becomes agent 4 and flora is unassociated with the NSS

(flora on the left, bola on the right)

in my normal canon, flora goes along with marie bc he's hard of hearing so he literally doesn't hear her "rescue my cousin from the octarians" explanation, but he's willing to go with the flow when someone hands him a military-grade weapon

bola, on the other hand, is a lot less compliant. callie actually seeks them out, since her approach is to recruit the scariest person she can find rather than recruit the first person she finds.

bola is also less willing to "go with the flow." they dont agree out of the goodness of their heart, they make a deal: they'll help callie with this if callie agrees to help them out after (their goal being to fuck with squidforce as much as physically possible)

also in my canon marie and callie are field agents while agent 3 stays at the back and gives commands, so callie and bola go through the kettles as a two-person team

while bola is an octoling, they're not an octarian, and they react very badly when callie is like "man you sure must be glad you deserted these guys they suck"

cue callie having to beg bola to come back when they storm off for like 4 days

over the course of the campaign, they have to learn to work together and cooperate and shit, and callie is kinda forced to examine the biases she inherited from capn cuttlefish because she's working with an octoling and they're nothing like she expected

this continues post-campaign where bola cashes in their side of the deal and gets callie to help cause problems for squidforce. this means even more self-reflection for callie since now she's hanging with the Leftovers Squad (bola, flora, CB-808 and bubbles (my agent 8s)) and they're so different from what she's used to

especially since CB and bubbles are actually octarian, now that i think abt it. huh. oh and also cause theyre close with marina

meanwhile, marie is feeling abandoned/betrayed, since from her POV callie has ditched her for a group of people that marie absolutely does Not get along with or fit in with

marie does not get along with bola at all. i love bola but God they're such a bitch. callie gets along with them because she was forced to get along with them by circumstance and has spent a lot of time with them, marie has not and so marie feels like she's been abandoned for someone who hates her guts

bola doesnt even hate her they just dont care. they hate agent three though. fuck that guy

the distance between callie and marie grows and grows until the breaking point; when CB and bubbles get all their mem cakes back and are like "hey why did you cause a famine" and callie is like "we did What" and they all confront three who reveals they knew that their actions in splat1 caused a famine but didn't tell either of the others

callie quits the NSS along with bola (the eights were never really in it to begin with, since they met cuttlefish + 3 after pearl and marina in the metro) but marie, who feels like she's already lost callie and not wanting to lose anymore family, refuses to quit

callie can't really forgive that because holy shit we caused a famine how can you just ignore that so then they sort of become estranged! this is usually the bit where pops yells at me /silly

the squid sisters disband, and callie makes a new moniker! "odd1out" cause it's a combination of agent 1 and the leftovers

im so insane about this

do people wanna know abt the odd1out au

[eggtqrt]

I feel like I've talked about this a lot BUT SPARROW AND DUCHESS AMIRIGHT

I don't ship them romantically tbh but their relationship is so INTERESTING

Like clearly duchess treats him pretty badly but he for the most part sticks around and is still her friend

I think he genuinely really has a grasp on her struggles and understands her motivations (wanting to take other ppls places in stories bc she doesn't want the inevitable death of her story) so he sticks around because she's really a victim of circumstance

But what we didn't get in the show that I think we deserve is him seriously getting upset with her for treating him and other people badly and her actually reflecting on it

Like I really think that because he's one of her only friends (who we see her interacting with) that he'd been one of the only ppl capable of making her develop as a character - he's one of the only ppl who actually cares for her like I don't think everyone hates her but I really don't think many people would do much for her unless it was just bc they're nice or they have a common motive

I would love some delicious angst where sparrow gets angry at her and then she realizes everyone has turned their back on her bc of her behavior and she realizes she actually does care for sparrow but she's really hurt him but even though she does something she'd never normally do and apologizes he still doesn't forgive her and it's not until she truly comes to terms with how scared she is of her destiny and admits to her fears and how much she cares about her friends that they become friends again but this time they do it right and duchess realizes she actually did miss his stupid singing and jokes and she can still enjoy his company without using him at ever turn

[jeweled-blue-eyes]

hey, may i ask, why do you dislike lucas! just wanna know i’m pretty curious bc everyone loves him lol. also, what about luc//athy? i wanna know your thought process. i’m not on either side, really. i don’t ship stuff but i’m invested in the drama of this fandom lmao

1. he calls Athy an idiot

2. the way he disrespects Jennette and refuses to treat her as a human being by calling her chimera

3. how the narrative tries to make me care for him so badly that it almost feels manipulative (he had abusive parents, then got adopted by another abusive parental figure after his parents abandoned him). In the 200+ years he lived there was no one who cared about him.

4. threatened to kill her (I think?), threatened to kill Blackie even though he knew it was basically her soul animal and the loss would wound her deeply

5. how he kind of enjoyed the power he had over her because he saved her and blackie and how he acted all innocent in front of others and Athy didn't dare to tell her father (did she fear that he wouldn't believe her?)

6. "Your father cares alot about you." Said father is a mass murderer who considered to murder her multiple times. Their relationship is toxic to the max, how Claude sees her mother in her till the day of her debutante ball, their images literally overlapping (it's not cute), how he doesn't want her to meet other people or ever leave the palace, how she has created a fake persona to please him. How does Lucas not realize that this is a toxic relationship when he is over 200+ years old and has likely seen stuff like this before? Lucas knows that Athy is/was deep down fucking terrified of her father since their first encounter where he pointed out that Blackie always runs away, because her divine beast reflects her inner desire to escape the palace. And despite all that he says that Claude cares about her, which might have influenced Athy in her decision to go back to Claude after the murder attempt and forgive him.

5. he ate LP Athy's mana beast and then fucked off to work with the Imperial Wizards and didn't even intervene when LP Athy got executed. He was possibly indirectly responsible for her death since she couldn't use her mana to escape and got killed.

6. so ready to commit genocide on innocents if Athy had died (I only like stuff like this if it's yanderes doing it)

7. appears in her bedroom at night when she is sleeping and touches her her and stuff. I think he also put her to sleep without asking for consens, which is something Claude also did.

8. everyone worships him and treats him like a god. if you don't worship him you are evil.

9. interrupts Athykiel scenes all the time and copied Ijekiel's handkiss in the library. After he saw Ijekiel kiss her hand he did the same. Made himself taller than Ijekiel. Stole Ijekiel's title as soft charisma prince at the tea party.

10. some of his fans

This scene made me dislike him alot:

I can't really explain why but when he destroyed the effort Athy had put into braiding his hair and adorning them with flowers, and how he acted rudely afterwards...this is the scene where I came to realize how much I disliked him. Idk why it's something so minor and insignificant.

11. I'm biased af, but in my opinion Lucathy is detrimental to Athy's character. Once I saw someone argue that the reason why Lucas is so perfect for Athy is, because she has daddy issues and Lucas is similar to her father and...well they are not wrong but this is actually a reason why I think they should never be together. (Unless you want to make it a toxic relationship.) She'll never get rid of her role as a living emotional crutch and morality chain. The way she seeks out a romantic relationship with boy who has a similar personality to her father, reminds me how some abusive victims have a tendency to latch onto toxic people, because this kind of behaviour feels familiar and comforting. They are used to it, they know how to deal with that.

[gingerwolfsart]

Sooo, I wrote it some time ago

TW/CW: mentions of trauma bc of child abuse, Remus's trauma (yk, werewolf stuff), scars

words: ~1k

"When the world leaves a scar"

Both of them utterly despised each and every scar on their own bodies. Each one reflecting traumatic experiences that, even though they hated to admit it, made them who they were. Remus couldn’t even look in the mirror for the longest time. Every single time he tried, he would look away in disgust. He hated how horribly scarred his face was, his arms, his whole body. If only injuries caused by werewolves didn't scar as badly... It took years before he dared to try to glance at the mirror and even more time before he realised that those scars didn’t define him. Yes, they were a big part of his past – without them, he didn’t know who he would have been. No matter how hard he tried, he could never imagine his life without that little furry problem, without old wounds marking his face and soul. Yet it wasn’t the only thing he was, he was way more than a scarred werewolf hated by his family. He was his own person, his own story, life, decisions, love. He was Remus. 

And then there was Sirius, who no matter how many scars littered his skin, would spend hours in front of the mirror. Lupin could never understand what took him so long. How could he spend so much time taking care of his hair or whatever? What shocked him even more though, was how casual about it Sirius was. Maybe as a kid, when he was still scared, terrified what people would think if they knew... maybe then he cared. But now he rolled up his sleeves, changed in the locker-room with the rest of the Quidditch team, he just didn’t mind if people saw. That’s what Remus thought – that's what Sirius wanted to think – but that wasn’t true at all. He still had that scared kid inside him, asking “what if mum finds out that someone knows?”. Not only that, the scars he got from her abuse made him feel ashamed, weak... and Remus understood that. He too felt ashamed of his own scars, of who he was. How could he not, when the society depicted him as a mindless beast? It was all for different reasons but they both knew the feeling and sharing it with someone helped a lot. Yeah, Sirius could talk about it with James, Remus could tell Lily, but it was different. Others didn’t understand like they did.

Some nights, when Remus’ nightmares awakened him in the middle of the night – and he got those a lot, dreams of sharp teeth and claws slicing his skin, painful and burning, until he jolted awake with a scream – he'd crawl into Sirius’ bed and shake him slightly, so that the other would stay up with him for a while. Black did the same on the nights he couldn’t sleep, when the memories of his home and the fear he felt were too much. Those nights were painful, sad, but hopeful in a way. Oh how much they hoped for all the terrible feelings to go away. How much they hoped and begged for the ability to sleep peacefully.

These nights their scars seemed to burn as if they were still fresh. It wasn’t the same pain of werewolf bites, or cigarette burns, or a belt. The pain was much duller, barely a sting in the same places that their scars layed. Yet they could feel it and that made all the memories much more vibrant. Sirius absolutely hated it and he wasn’t the type to keep quiet about things that irritated him. So he talked while Remus layed there in silence, dwelling on his past. Sometimes Padfoot even managed to make him laugh and he treasured those moments. He loved Moony’s smile, especially in those tough moments. If Remus smiled, he often did too. It wasn’t like he didn’t have his own emotions, oh no. But seeing his loved ones in a little bit better mood made him feel better. It made him feel just slightly more worthy of all the attention he always called for, of all the love. 

Sirius would sometimes trace over Remus’ scars, his fingertips slowly trailing markings on his boyfriend’s skin. It seemed to soothe the stinging a little bit. It calmed both of them down. Remus could forget about the burning, his thoughts trailing off somewhere else. Whether it was a book he recently read, or a prank he pulled off with the rest of the Marauders or something else entirely, he could finally think of something other than the scars all over his body, who left them and what it did to him, how much it affected his life. 

For Sirius these moments were calming, but they didn’t turn his thoughts in a different direction. He still thought of his own scars, at that moment likely hidden under his warm clothes. It allowed him to think of it in a much calmer manner though, without tears immidiately pricking at his eyes and screams getting caught in his throat.  He still didn’t see the point of overthinking what his own parents did to him and his little brother, but it felt somewhat good to be able to think about it without involving emotions. Though he still kept asking himself that one question he knew he’d never know the answer to - “why”?

They would wake up in the morning, everything so much more peaceful then than during the night. Their fears and conflicted emotions far, far away until the next time they would catch up to them. Remus would look at Sirius with that tired but relaxed smile, push his long, dark hair out of his face and whisper nothing more than “hello”. That wouldn’t be such a bad start of a day.

[my-mt-heart]

I know you've been receiving an absolute influx of asks, so feel free to ignore this if you need/want bc I know it'll be long. I just need to get some things out of my head. adding a post-written warning bc I swear a lot.

1) carol has become the fan favorite for so many ppl and for them to throw her to the side this last season + now no spinoff feels so disgusting. mmb is being so disrespected. Like is this how you treat one of the top grossing actors on a show — one that has rallied fans, caused some of the best rated eps, and whose character has been a key figure to the successes of the group and show as a whole in so many seasons?! like her/Caryl are the reason so many of us have stayed w this shitstorm of a fucking show even after gimple slammed it into the ground repeatedly, so why in the hell they've chosen to treat her so badly is absolutely beyond me

2) I don't think nr is strong enough to carry a show by himself. There, i said it. I love his character and I think nr is a good actor, but Daryl is stoic and quiet and just not that interesting when he's doing his own thing imo. he's gained courage these last 2 seasons, and definitely grown since his introduction, but I truly don't think he alone is a strong enough character to pull off a solo show. like, the scenes where he was more or less just wandering on his own or out in the woods were so...dull. I know some are gonna disagree, but I just don't see this working out.

3) I literally don't understand why they think the spinoff will get views at this point. 80-90% of the ppl excited for it were carylers, and since now it's confirmed Not Happening, they should have seen this coming. and the fact that they either didn't or did and don't care, should really reflect the amount of care they have for their fanbase. not to mention stringing us all along for 9 seasons w their relationship only to get either no canon or such a small ending that it doesn't even feel worth it in the slightest.

Agree wholeheartedly

I love Daryl, but having him go off on his own to chase clues about Rick feels like character regression to me. It kills me to think he's going to end up alone without his best friend just like all those years in the woods.

My guess is AMC is going to draw people in by dangling a Daryl and Rick reunion in front of their faces. Will it work? I don't know. The fact that they are throwing away a built-in audience for the original spinoff makes me feel so small as a Caryler. Like have we become that irrelevant? And the fact that this ruins the story for two characters who deserve to be with each other in the end is so nauseating.

[teacup-tai]

Hate comments on fics

So today I received my very first hate comment on a fic. I'm so angry. I'm angry because it wasn't a concrit that I didn't ask for, I'm angry because I wrote a non-magical AU about HIV positive characters for the 25 days of Drarry and developed a 50k plot about managing illness and falling in love and finding acceptance from a lovely queer community and the motherfucker of the anonymous commenter said:

"This is disgusting."

I will tell you what is disgusting: YOUR FUCKING PREJUDICE IS DISGUSTING! Your bigotry is disgusting, your lack of empathy is disgusting, your balls to come to a fic that is tagged with HIV+ warning and saying it to my face is disgusting. The fact that you did not use your account to comment is disgusting.

Prejudice is what keep marginalizing people who are HIV positive, so people like this bloody anonymous commenter are the ones who keep spatting a fuck ton of hate speech and wrong information and lack of love towards folks that are already struggling with their condition.

HIV is not disgusting. It is NEVER disgusting. The amount of myths and misinformation is disgusting. The fact that we are in 2021 and people think badly of HIV positive folk just pains me beyond belief.

I'm really upset and disappointed to know even in our lovely Drarry bubble, that is often very accepting and caring, there are bigoted little shits that think themselves better than others. I know this one person is not representative of our drarry squad. We are much better than this!

I obviously deleted the comment bc I don't want to give space to hate speech in my fic. But I needed to make this post and say that if anyone also thinks HIV is disgusting, please get informed, give yourself time to reflect on this topic, look into information and Check out your myths and deconstruct them.

The only way we can build a better world is doing our part. Our part consists in getting informed, making sure our words are not hurting others, being empathetic and LISTENING to those who don't get their voices heard often.

I'm not going to shut up about giving voice to silenced folk, to marginalized realities, to parts of our queer community that are still kept on the corner of the movement. No one is getting me down on raising awareness! So I'm going to use this ugly experience to do a bloody well deserved marketing of my fic:

DRAGONS DON'T KNOW PARADISE (50k, E)

Summary: In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

This is a story about falling in love online and about facing the reality of death, but above all, this is a story about hope, finding love and acceptance.

(Non-magical AU, drarry & wolfstar)

{Read on AO3}

If you want help getting more info on HIV or where to go to get tested please my DM is open. I am here to talk and discuss whatever can help you. Also if you need spoilers before reading, just let me know!

With love, queerness and fierce representation. Tai 💜