#or it might work great but not fir me

[david-box]

I'm figuring out cotton spinning on an in-hand/supported spindle and I ***thiiink*** I've figured this out. Normal techniques for in-hand/grasped style don't work like you see online because this fiber (.... Or at least the cotton balls I have....) Does Not Glide Over Itself without force, but you can either spin and draft with two hands with force (which would work better with drop spinning and also not what i want to do) or basically add twist with one hand and *untwist* it with the other while pulling, which is kind of cool!

Problem is is that I don't know if that's actually right. But anyhow, iirc the people who spin this on a wheel pull the fiber out fairly fast which functionally is the same as untwisting it (of rather, distributing the twist down) but I would need to hold the fiber very lightly before I do that and I don't know how yet, so we'll see!

[akilahia]

Thinking about IHNMAIMS in pretty much all of its forms.

Specifically Ted and Ellen. Obviously in the Game their relationship is very different from the short story/comic/radio drama, with Ted being in love with Ellen(although it’s evident it’s because she is the only woman left alive). In the game he shows devotion to her, he is willing to push past his usual methods of flirtation and find other ways to get what he needs.

But in the other adaptions his feelings towards Ellen are mixed. I think his unique backstory with being so dependent on women to live a happier and more lavish life style, significantly effect how he views Ellen beyond AM’s tampering

Throughout the short story Ted constantly thinks ill of Ellen. Even though prior to being placed in this hell, she had only had sex twice before. But she is the last woman alive on earth. The video game(while following a different plot line(still one that is extremely tragic and literally made me cry)) expresses that even before Ellen’s assualr she had little to no interest in sex. She would never have had sex with the four men if it weren’t for

1. AM

2. Being the Last women alive

3. AM’s deliberate tampering

In a world where characters like Benny have been so permanently physically marked as a form of torture by AM, something like sex, is not as extreme in comparison(at least from Ted’s perspective). However to be the last woman alive, with minimal interest in sex, to be tampered with in such a way, is such a horrific form of torture.

I’m going to shift a way from this for a second to talk about Ted’s backstory for the video game. I understand that the videogame makes changes in terms of backstory for some of the characters(like Benny), so we can’t claim Ted’s backstory for the game is even remotely close to whatever it might have been for the short story. However, I still think can provide interesting context to his behavior towards Ellen.

Starting off, he really isn’t the cool rich guy that he played himself off to be when life was still normal. He never came from money, he was poor and he was forced to work and couldn’t go to school. However he was good looking which is resulted in older woman being attracted to him. And when he was NINETEEN, one older woman gave him her husband’s money and offered him the chance to travel and live in luxury.

Now this probably isn’t important, or was even taken into consideration by the game makers, but I was curious as to what the possible age gap between this older woman and Ted could be. The were together for 5 years, then she died

She died specifically of an aneurysm, which according to Google typically happens between the ages of 30 to 60. There is all this stuff with the Cold War and ww3 and I was going to try to do all this math with it but it’s too late for that and not relevant to the point I’m trying to make. But I’m just going to do some simple mental math and estimate that it might have been late 60’s or early 70’s when the older woman and Ted first got into a relationship. As I’m assuming everything went to shit in 1995 since that’s when the game came out, and 25 years had passed after he met the woman. Also this makes sense as Ted’s grandfather sold the farm due to the Great Depression, since most people married and had kids young, I’m going to be generous and say grandpa was 30 in 1929, and Ted’s mother or father was 9, then 10-12 years later Ted was born. Then 19 years later it would be about the 60’s or 70’s.

I am going to presume that the older woman had been married to her husband for at least 15 years. So it might have been 50’s at the earliest possibility. And the average age people married at then was when they were in their 20’s. So when she met Ted she was AT THE EARLIEST 35. Making her at least 16 years older than Ted when the first got together. But also worth noting that they do specifically mention older. So if we look on the higher side of the typical ages for aneurisms she could have been 55 when they first met(as the 5 years would pass making her 60) so she could have been 36 years older than him.

This seriously isn’t relevant to the actual point I’m trying to make with Ellen and Ted but I got sucked in. I guess I just wanted to highlight that Ted did not have the power in this relationship, he was young and poor, while she was old and rich, and I can imagine how that kind of relationship would impact him.

The next thing I want to note is the use of the word ‘lover’.

Though it can be used in a strictly romantic non intimate sense, I think it is used in the sexual way here.

Especially with the provided context of two different definitions of the word ‘lover’ both highlighting it’s connotations with sexual relationships

Furthermore, Ted’s relationship with the older woman is essentially just a sugar baby relationship. She is letting him experience things he never could have without her money. She teaches him how to act as a socialite and gets him used to the high life.

In connection to the sexual elements above, there was a video I wanted to link here but I can’t find it anywhere anymore. It was a YouTube video with a bunch of sugar babies discussing their experiences. And one woman confides that you really won’t make much money if you are in a platonic or non intimate romantic relationship with your sugar parent. If you want to make money and live richly, you have to preform sexual favors.

Now it’s hard to say if this was the only relationship with an older woman that Ted had been in. But regardless of whether it was one woman or a billion, using his body in order to get something that he wants has become an important asset to Ted; As seen in the castle with the maid and the witch. His love for Ellen(in the video game) helps him break past this fatal flaw of his, despite AM’s obvious temptations to make him fail.

Even if this stuff was in anyone’s minds when they wrote Ted’s backstory but I think it’s extremely important to note, especially as we return to my main point.

As stated before, Ted views Ellen negatively due to her promiscuity, despite the desire(felt really gross typing this word in this context) being placed in her as a form of torture by AM. She also is a woman, and Ted’s life has been spent around using and being used by women, so definitely lots of conflicting stuff there. Additionally Ted’s experiences with sexual relations are shown to be based in being transactional.

When he agrees with Ellen to go to the caves to get the food, she rewards him by being intimate with him to show her gratitude. Ted sees it as her ‘using him.’ (From the Radio Drama, I was going to post the clip but I could only post one video in a tumblr post apparently)

In the comic, after this encounter he questions her motivations. What she got out of it, once again thinking transactionally. But her response

“Does there have to be a reason”

Really gets to me. Especially after looking at all this intertextual context. Thinking about video game Ted’s backstory with book Ted’s thoughts and behaviors, he is shown to always think there is some kind of catch. No one is doing something without getting something in return, especially if that thing is kindness.

Ted is so intensely paranoid(as seen in all versions). I think by pairing up the backstory for the game with the short story/comic/radio drama it’s evident to see how heavily affected he is by it.

He thinks he has been tormented less by AM, making him paranoid of the others, contributing towards his behavior towards Ellen. Yet despite everything from the past and all of AM’s tampering, he still finds comfort with Ellen. Her unfaltering kindness manages to reach him even when he dismisses it as a farce. She doesn’t hate him or the others for how they’ve treated her, she still wants to help them. He still cares for her and the others. But he is filled with so much fear. He even apologizes to her.

I feel like at that point in the Radio drama marks a shift. Ted has made a realization about AM and it’s a lot for him, but Ellen is there for him. It’s a genuinely sincere act of kindness from her where she doesn’t ask or expect anything in return. They have some kind of connection. Once again blending the different versions, I think that this moment between them comes together in the end when they kill the other victims together. They don’t speak to each other, they just do it quickly and he kills her. And here he doesn’t refer to her by any degrading names. In the comic he holds her. Like how in the radio drama she held him.

Overall I just wanted to point out how well all these versions really mix to provide so much more behind each character. The backstories for the video game allow the reader to understand book Ted’s actions and relationships from a new angle.

The is was super duper major mess of a ramble. It’s now 3 am and I have a migraine, so I’m done for tonight. I might clean this up another time or make another post about Video game Ted with context to his backstory since I didn’t include the events from the video game in here.

Once again these are just my thoughts and beliefs on how I think the video game backstory for Ted provides interesting context for Book Ted. I know that both stories play out differently and both Ted’s act differently so please don’t get angry if you disagree with the message of stuff I said

mini sequel post about video game Ted

[azu1as]

Hi, Tin! I love your writing and I have a prompt for you, if you are interested) what if Tang family is too afraid of Tang Bo leaving permanently and eloping with Cheong Myeong? So they initiate marriage negotiations with Mount Hua. It can be angst (CM is socially isolated and insecure about his position) or romantic comedy (awkward situations and protective Cheong Mun), up to you). Thank you in advance!

It was a well-established fact that the Dark Saint of the Tang Family was one of their generation's best.

So it came as no surprise when an influx of marriage proposals flooded their family's estate—because rumors started flying around that the Dark Saint was in search of a partner.

The Dark Saint held a reputation for being cold and ruthless. To cultivators and martial artists, he was someone they feared making into an enemy due to his sheer battle prowess and poisonous abilities. To normal civilians, he was a genius who wielded the Tang Family's techniques with cool precision and intent; to them, he was just another mysterious cultivator that they would only ever know of through gossip and stories.

However, in recent years, something shifted. His reputation among common folk was slowly altered. It started off with a supposed battle between him and the Plum Blossom Sword Saint which turned into a sudden and unexpected friendship.

Whereas in the past the Dark Saint would only go around Sichuan and closeby villages, he was now found going around different major cities and unknown ones.

He was often in the company of Mount Hua's Plum Blossom Sword Saint, who worked with him side-by-side to eradicate groups from the Demonic Cult and the occasional bandits and thieves.

For supposed Taoists, the two visited different establishments to drink alcohol and talk cheerily. It was during one of these moments that the first rumor began its spark.

"Ahhhh," The Plum Blossom Sword Saint groans in satisfaction. "That sure hits the spot!"

The Dark Saint chuckles as he tosses back his own drink. "If only I could enjoy everyday like this. Alcohol really is the best."

"What would your future wife think?" The Plum Blossom Sword Saint jokingly and dramatically shakes his head in disappointment. "To have a husband who loves alcohol more than his own wife...!"

The Dark Saint wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Trust me, I would make sure that my wife knows full-well just how much I love them."

The two of them share a silent, private conversation with just their eyes alone, that none of the other restaurant's customers could decipher, before they leave a generous tip and went on their way.

It snowballs from there.

All of a sudden gossip went around about the Dark Saint's interest in finding a wife. And so several people came to the same conclusion.

The reason why the Dark Saint is travelling around more than usual is because he's looking for a prospective wife.

Clearly, the Plum Blossom Sword Saint was there to provide moral support. How truly admirable and strong their brotherhood must be!

On the other hand, the head of the Tang Family was fully aware of their Dark Saint's single-minded interest in Mount Hua's Chung Myung.

Seeing all the stacks of letters that ranged from proposing strategic alliances and general marriage offers brought the current head of the Tang Family to a very different conclusion.

Tang Bo was trying to slowly draw himself away from their family by leaving their estate. He might be on the hunt, jumping from village to village, trying to create a dowry befitting for the hand of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint and scouting out all the best locations to settle down in.

It really wouldn't be too surprising of an idea if one day a letter turns up from the man with an intent of permanently moving to Mount Hua or some backwater village.

The Tang Family head shakes the thought of losing one of their best and genius members to one of the Ten Great Sects. If he wanted to maintain their family's reputation, he'll need to strike the first move.

And so he begins to pen a decisive letter to the Sect Leader of Mount Hua.

%%%

Chung Mun's hands tremble as reads the letter sent to him by the Tang Family.

'Who did they think they were?' He would have bit out if he had any less self-restraint. The paper crumples in his grip and he receives a questioning glance from Chung Myung who was sprawled eating mooncakes on the opposite side of his desk.

"What's got you so worked up?" The subject of the letter askswithout a care.

Chung Mun takes a deep breath. "The Tang Family wishes for you to transfer into their estate."

He refuses to say out loud the marriage proposal that came along with this request. His Chung Myung was too young! The man might be a sixty years old, but that round face, cheeks carelessly bulging with mooncakes with crumbs littered on his chin, screamed too young for marriage!

"Oh." Chung Myung nods in understanding.

Chung Mun is glad that Chung Myung agrees that this was nonsensical. To think, they thought that Chung Myung would even leave Mount Hua for—

"After the war is over, Tang Bo and I were planning to be roommates and travel the world a bit."

—?????

"Roommates?" Chung Mun's voices comes out slightly strangled.

"Yup. It's going to be great."

"No."

"'No'?"

Chung Mun tries to run through his previous conversations with Tang Bo. He knew that the man was capable of being underhanded, but he was also well-aware that Tang Bo respected him enough to not blind-side him with something like this. Especially since it concerned Chung Myung.

...

...Oh no.

"Fuck." Chung Mun says, full of feeling as he recalls Tang Bo off-handedly asking permission to live together with Chung Myung in the future.

"...Sect Leader?"

Chung Mun had thought that was a joke! He thought Tang Bo wasn't being serious! They were talking with alcohol in their systems!

The alarmed look that crosses Chung Myung's face informed Chung Mun that the way he felt his blood drain from his face was a visible, physical reaction.

"He asked for your hand in marriage." Chung Mun says faintly. "I said yes."

Chung Myung blinked at him. "Yeah? He told me?"

Okay. Tang Bo, to his credit, hasn't been leaving Chung Myung in the dark at least.

If Chung Myung knows and isn't reacting violently that means that he isn't completely against this. Even if Chung Mun was, he had to reorganize his priorties.

And his number one would be to make sure Chung Myung was happy.

((And to make sure that the Tang Family doesn't think they can step on Chung Mun and pull his little brother away.))

"I'll have to recheck the sect's budget and my own savings to make sure we have enough for the wedding preparations..." Chung Mun mutters as he begins drafting a response to the Tang Family with what he thought were better marriage agreement conditions.

But then, a flash of dread causes Chung Mun to pause writing and leave a dark ink blot on the paper. He suspected, but he really wishes that he was wrong—!

"Huh?" Chung Myung gives Chung Mun a confused look. "We already got married though?"

[idle-daydreams]

goodness. i LOVE all your demon!chuuya works so much? i haven't been seeing this one quite often but is it possible for an angel!reader x demon!chuuya? :0 i'd love to how their dynamic plays out and how demon!chuuya finds it fun to play with an innocent angel!reader <3 (could be enemies to lovers!)

you can nsfw if you'd like, maybe something along the lines of a corruption kink or some sort?

have a great day!! :D

Tw: Spicy/Sexual themes, yandere, violence.

Powerful.

Greedy.

Perverse.

The words echoed in your mind. Demons were vile creatures, full of anger and hatred towards the rest of the world; the person before you, though indeed powerful, did not quite seem to embody that description.

“So you’re an angel,” he mused, circling you slowly, like a predator taking in his prey. “Interesting. First time I’ve seen one up close.”

“I am an angel indeed,” you said, tugging at your bindings uncomfortably. You’d tucked in your wings, but they were still being crushed against the rocky wall to which you’d been restrained. “And what manner of being are you, sir?”

“What manner of being am I?” he chuckled, stopping before you to gaze into your eyes. His own were rather striking; he was, as a whole, inhumanly beautiful, with a bearing reminiscent to the heroes of old, whom the humans liked to elevate to gods. But at the same time, there was a darkness lurking in his eyes, radiating off of him. With a start, you noticed the slivers of red running down his skin, web-fine cracks allowing his power to trickle through.

“Demon,” you hissed, trying to pull away. “You really are a demon, aren’t you?”

He laughed again, louder now. “What, it took you this long to figure out? And here I thought angels knew everything.”

His eyes were bright, his gaze challenging. More power - strong, raw, destructive - radiated off of him, setting your teeth on edge. The cracks seemed to be getting larger, letting more of his might seep into the world. A twinge of terror rose within your thrumming throughout your body. A demon would rip an angel to shreds if it got the upper hand; this one had you at its mercy, and there was no doubt that you were dead.

You tensed as he leaned in closer, closing your eyes and commending your soul to your lord.

Instead, a soft hand brushed your cheek, trailing down your neck. You gasped, eyes flying open, to see him gazing at you with hunger in his eyes.

“You really are beautiful,” he said, his voice low. “You know how long I’ve been watching you? How long I’ve wanted you? How long I’ve needed you with me, [Y/N]?”

His eyes burned with desire, with the hunger of a starving man. A thrill ran down your spine as the realization struck you that he knew your name.

“Who are you?” you said, trying to keep the tremor out of your voice. “How do you know me? I am one of an order of thousands.”

“I have my ways,” he said with another demented giggle. “And for what its worth, my name is Chuuya. You may know me as Arahabaki, but then again, maybe not. I don’t care. After tonight, you’ll know me very well.”

His hands wandered lower, caressing your breasts, your stomach, the curve of your hips. A sudden heat ran through you, making you shudder.

“You like that?” he asked, grinning. “You enjoy it?”

“No,” you lied. “What are you doing?”

“Come on, don’t tell me you don’t know about sex. You don’t know how to have sex.”

“I understand the concept,” you said, flustered by the way he fiddled with the edges of your silken dress. “But I am an angel, I am not made for procreation.”

“Aren’t you?”

With a swift motion he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he moulded his body to yours. “You’re really sure you’re not made for sex?”

“I-I-” Your thoughts floated away as you felt his manhood against you, against that soft, secret part of you that you’d never quite paid attention to. Your body had always been there, a vessel for your duties; but as he pressed himself against you, his body hard and strong, it was as though you’d been reborn for the first time. You could feel everything: the crumbling rock against your back, the grass beneath your feet, Chuuya’s breath against your lips. Heat pooled in your belly, running down your arms and up your chest. You opened your mouth, though for what, you weren’t sure - only for Chuuya to capture your lips in a fervent kiss. The air grew heavier as his power bled into the air; but it was difficult to focus, to care, not with Chuuya’s hands in your hair, caressing your body, tearing your clothes to claim you as his own.

“Mine,” he grunted. “You’re mine.”

“I-” You couldn’t argue. You didn’t want to argue. You were lost, lost in the throes of bliss, the delirium of an exquisite ecstasy you could never have imagined. You moaned, arching your back, throwing your head back to let him have you. His claws raked your skin, sullying your pure flesh, ripping your wings from your back.

“Stop!” you screamed, as pain cut through the haze of pleasure. “Stop it!”

“No,” he growled with a laugh. “No. Once these are off, you are mine!”

“No,” you said, tears running down your face even as your body reached its keening edge. “Wait, please don’t-”

The world went white-hot, drowning you in ripples of fire. Sparks danced in your vision as you clutched at Chuuya, who began to laugh.

“Now you believe me?” he cried out. “Now you know the truth?”

Panting as you came down from your high - that blasted, blessed high - you blinked at the demon, at the fire in his eyes, the blood dripping down his face. White feathers lay scattered around you, a numbness spreading down your back.

“What have you done?” you whispered.

“I’ve made you mine,” he said, lifting you up his arms, pushing aside the now broken restraints. “You’re never going back to heaven again, my little angel. You’re gonna stay with me forever in hell.”

[broomsick]

Self-care & connecting with nature deities during the wintertime

Is it still possible to connect with harvest and nature deities such as Freyr during the cold season?

Long answer short, yes. Obviously, absolutely. But you all saw that answer coming, right? So I’m here to give you some ideas, as the person who’s favorite season is winter and who made it their mission to help everybody like winter just a little more. And since I feel especially close to Yngvi-Freyr when it comes to the Gods, I will use him as an example throughout this post, though a lot of the following could apply to most nature deities.

Let us first examine a common misconception before we get to the bottom of this topic: the fields don’t die when the sun sets on the 31st of October. The earth still lives under thick layers of snow. The process of dormancy is absolutely crucial to the cycles of nature. And if, like me, you find Freyr to be a sort of guardian of these cycles, then you’ll know he manifests himself in so many ways, even where you might not think to look.

Have you heard about the holly and ivy tradition? It was common during the European Medieval times to decorate houses and halls using holly and ivy, because they were the two plants with leaves that stayed green, even in the dark and cold of winter. This type of practice is often referred to as "bringing the outside in", and it's something I'm quite fond of. I've no doubt it could be a great help if you're the type to feel depressed during the winter time. It's a way to remind oneself of how everpresent nature actually is. Lots of greenery remains despite the snow! And to ackowledge this fact and to work with it is such a great way to connect with nature Gods in general! It goes to show that you appreciate their blessings all year round, not just during spring and summer. While it's true that in many cases, the presence of deities such as Freyr may feel somehow "dimmed" during the winter time, I assure you, they don't disappear once the first snow falls! On the contrary, they are every bit as present and active as when spring comes! They simply manifest themselves in a different manner.

When winter comes, I love to work with evergreen spirits. I incorporate spruce, fir and cedar into my practice and in my offerings. I won't go into too much detail for this topic however, because I've written posts that pertained to it in the past (namely, this post on tree work and this one on land spirits). Since I don't have easy access to holly or ivy, I make due with evergreen! Not with any actual branches, except when I'm lucky enough to find some that were torn away by the wind. But rather, using representations of it. In the same manner, and in the spirit of "bringing the outside in", it's also possible to decorate using representations of the sun! Harvest deities such as Freyr are often associated with it due to its crucial role in the cycles of plant growth. Candles also make for great solar symbols, and to place them around the home is like lighting a handful of little suns to bring much needed light and warmth inside. What's more, lighting candles on the winter solstice night is a widespread practice among pagans today! It serves to symbolize the return of the sun, as the days start to grow longer again. Until then however, it can be soothing for one to light a candle every morning before school or work, and to call upon any harvest, nature or solar deity of their choice to ask for strength and motivation throught the day. Even when it's difficult for us to feel their presence, they always hear us.

Now, how to actually feel more connected to nature? Oftentimes, connecting with nature and connecting with Yngvi-Freyr are one and the same. And on a more personal note, a lot of the advice I received from him pertained exactly to that: I believe he's often urged me to go spend more time in nature when I am going through rough patches. I know the cold and the cloudy weather can make it depressing for a lot of people to go out. My advice on this is to take it step by step: no need to go on long, four-hour long hikes right away! After all, there is already much beauty to be seen close to home. And I can't put enough emphasis on that: dress warmly! Also, as a tool for motivation, prepare a treat for yourself to enjoy after you've gone out. Part of what makes me enjoy winter so much is the thought of the warmth and light which await inside after I’ve gone out into the cold. The home is as sacred as the outside world! So why not buy, or prepare a batch of cookies, a cup of hot chocolate or a spicy dinner! It's something I love to do as a way to motivate myself to go out more often. And I like to offer part of these to local land spirits and to the Vanir, to show my appreciation for the beauty of this season. Just as an aside, I find snow water to be a great such offering as well!

I know that I’m not revolutionizing the pagan scene with this post, as there’s only so many ways to connect with nature during winter. I think it’s important to keep in mind that the snow, rain and cold that this season brings is just as much part of nature as the greens and lively colors of spring and summer. For this reason, they are just as much a part of nature deities and what they represent. Deities have so many facets and depth, and it can be so fulfilling to explore these different aspects, and the way we perceive them. While it’s true that spiritually speaking, it often feels to us heathens as if Skaði is somehow “taking” Freyr’s place in the order of things for the time being— much like the Holly King takes the Oak King’s place in Celtic folklore. This doesn’t make it so he disappears! In my experience, he presides over the cycle of seasons as a whole, and he is every bit as present for his followers as he is during the winter. I can connect with Skaði during the summer in a similar manner. And I’m sure that the same can be said for so many other harvest deities.

[perseephoneee]

christmas tree farm (elijah mikaelson x f!reader)

꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ happy day 2 of ficmas!

prompt: you like drawing one of the workers at the local Christmas tree farm

a/n: this took so long and i'm so sorry but also this is my dream. like, yes, let me find elijah at a Christmas tree farm. i love him your honor.

↳ masterlist  ↳ ship exchange ↳ join my taglist ↳ ficmas 2023

There’s never a great reason to go to a Christmas tree farm every day, yet you did it without reason.

Well, one reason.

The Mikaelson Tree Farm was only four blocks from your apartment, and initially you went to help your friend, Bonnie, pick out a tree. It was the day after Thanksgiving, but she was excited since it was her first time getting a tree alone. She convinced you with a promised cup of hot cocoa, and you found yourself at the expansive farm. What made it better than others was that an arborist owned it, so they understood the novelty of trees better than anyone.

You had brought your sketchbook along as well. As the quarter was close to ending, you were working hard on your animation final. Not that you were an art major by any means, but you liked to draw as a hobby, and when an opportunity arose to take an art class, you did so happily. Now, though, you had to do a short animation for your final, which meant lots and lots of panels. 

“Do you think this one is too dense?” Bonnie asked, taking careful steps around a Douglas Fir. You peered at it, continuing to shade out its leaves in your journal. 

“Depends on how many ornaments you want to shove in there,” you mumbled, adding a few people to the background of your illustration. 

“I’ve got a good amount that I inherited from Grams,” Bonnie sighed. 

“Then you might want some more space.”

“You’re probably right,” Bonnie looked around, hands on her hips and breath fogging before her. “Plus, this would shed a lot.”

“You’d probably want a Nordmann then,” a smooth voice said from behind you. Both you and Bonnie turned to the source of the voice, and you felt yourself freeze up as you took in the handsome man behind you. He wore a red flannel with a cargo jacket, and you wondered how he wasn’t cold. “Sorry for bothering you. My family owns the farm; I couldn’t help but overhear.”

“So, you know things about trees,” you said, holding your notebook close to your chest. 

“Yes…I know about trees,” he smiled.

“Like the Lorax,” you blurted out, feeling your eyes widen. You could almost hear the look of disappointment on Bonnie’s face. The man chuckled, though, albeit with little confusion. 

“I’m Elijah,” he said, shaking Bonnie’s hand and yours. 

“Nordmann, why would I want that?” Bonnie inquired, pivoting to your previous conversation. 

“Nordmanns don’t shed,” Elijah explained. “They have a blue tone underneath their leaves and are also pretty.”

“Very nice,” Bonnie nudged you, and you sent her a look of approval. “Show me a Nordmann.”

Bonnie ended up choosing a six-foot-tall Nordmann that she affectionately named “Norman the Nordmann.” Elijah and one of his brothers cut the tree down for her and carried it back to her car. Frankly, the level of attraction you felt watching a man carrying a tree over his shoulder was embarrassing, but you didn’t care. You just said thank you in a meek voice and left with Bonnie to decorate her tree. Still, you couldn’t get Elijah out of your mind. 

Plus, as you spent time working on your animation final, you realized that one of your characters started to look more and more like Elijah. 

Which is how you kept ending up at the Christmas tree farm. 

You couldn’t just show up and sit around waiting to see Elijah walk by. That would be incredibly humiliating for you. So, instead, after your third time going to the farm and lurking in the trees like a creeper, you decided to buy a wreath. The farm had a tiny little hut selling wreaths, ornaments, hot cocoa, and more. They even had a photo album full of pictures of their customers from over the years. One of the sisters always sat in the hut, reading a new book each day, and finally pointed out that you always came in but never bought anything, which is how you ended up with a beautiful wreath you hung up in your apartment. Feeling guilty, you came back the next day and bought another wreath. You always bought a wreath and free hot cocoa after you finished sketching the farm (and Elijah). You realized at some point you should probably buy a tree and move on from your infatuation, but that would involve confronting your wiles, which would simply be unacceptable. 

Today was week three, thirteen wreaths later. You curled up in the corner of the farm with your journal, burrowing into your scarf to fight off the chill. You already had several panels drawn of the day in and day out of the farm, but now you were debating tearing yourself away and drawing Freya (your hot cocoa provider and sister who reads inside the wreath hut) through the acts of reading. Something blocked your light though, as you were drawing, and you looked up to see Elijah hovering over you. Your eyes widened. 

“You have come in every day, you realize that?” he asked, hands in his pockets and a slight smirk on his lips. You likely looked like a deer in the headlights. 

“I like trees,” you answered, immediately looking down at your hands as your brain screamed WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 

“Like the Lorax?” Elijah smirked, and you felt your jaw drop as he recalled your first day. 

“I can go,” you said, starting to get up, but Elijah put a hand on your shoulder, stopping you. The heat from his hand spread throughout your arm like fire to a forest. 

“You don’t have to leave,” he dropped his hand, fiddling with the cuffs of his flannel. “I just noticed that you have never gotten a tree.”

“I haven’t.”

“Do you want one?” He gestured towards the plethora of Christmas trees around you, and you started feeling like a mouse cornered by a cat. A very attractive cat. 

“I could…get a tree,” you crossed your arms, hugging yourself. Putting your journal back in your bag, you gave Elijah your name and followed him deeper into the tree line. He showed you several different variants, explaining their pros and cons, but you stopped at a four-foot Noble that was more sparse on one side and slightly crooked. “I like him.”

Elijah looked at the tree you were pointing at and raised an eyebrow as if to ask seriously? You had a small smile as you circled your crooked, kind of terrible, tree. It was imperfect, and it’s why you liked it. Elijah sighed but agreed to give you the tree. He cut it down himself (it was small enough), and you checked out with Freya, who laughed at you finally buying a tree. 

“Where’s your car?” Elijah asked, tree propped up against him. 

“Oh, uh, I don’t have one,” you stammered. You realize you can’t get a tree home without a car. “I walked.”

“You walked,” Elijah said plainly. You were thinking that he probably thought you were an idiot. 

“I live four blocks away.”

“Alright… let's go,” Elijah sighed, hoisting the tree over his shoulder. 

“Uh, excuse me?” You held out your hands to stop him. 

“To take your tree home.”

“I can take my own tree home, thank you very much.” Elijah stared at you with a blank expression. He would’ve made an excellent diplomat if he wasn’t busy cutting down trees. You stared right back, trying your best to assert dominance. His eyes stared into yours deeply, and finally you relented. “Fine, you can take my tree home,” you mumbled, feeling frustrated as a smile broke across his face. 

“Lead the way,” he gestured. You stalk a guy for weeks, and now he’s coming to your apartment with a tree you didn’t intend to buy. You thought that Bonnie would’ve gotten a kick out of this. He follows you out of the lot and onto the street, keeping quiet as he carries the tree with no complaints. You wonder how much he could bench press if he lifted the tree like it was nothing. You got to your building, a little four-story brick apartment, and let him in. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to the plethora of wreaths lining the doors in the hall. “Are these all…?”

“Yes,” you answered quickly. “I’m the building manager, so I gave everyone a wreath.” Elijah still looked surprised but didn’t say anything else as he followed you to your apartment door tucked into the corner of the first floor. You wiggled your lock before slamming your shoulder into the door to open it. “It gets stuck sometimes,” you explained, opening the door further for Elijah to enter. 

With Elijah peering around your place, you suddenly felt very self-conscious. It was a small place. The layout was straightforward. Your front door opened into your small kitchen, with the bathroom to the right. Your living room was just a couch, a TV you got from your aunt, and a coffee table. You didn’t have a dining room, just a tiny breakfast nook you haggled off Facebook Marketplace. Your bedroom was off the living room, just a bed and a desk. The thing that sold you on the apartment, though was the beautiful circular window behind the couch and the fact you got cheap rent in a city as long as you acted as building manager. 

“Where would you like to put your tree?” Elijah inquired. 

“I guess over here is fine,” you walked over to the space between the wall and your couch, currently inhabited by your basket of yarn that you use for knit projects. 

“Do you have a tree stand?” He put the tree down against the wall. You kept your mouth shut as you watched realization flash across his face. “You bought a tree without a tree stand?”

“I didn’t intend to buy a tree,” you defend yourself. Elijah lets out a small sigh of exasperation, fidgeting with the tree so it can lean on its own. 

“I’ll be right back,” Elijah exits before you can say anything. You glare at the tree, internally blaming it for your current predicament. Keeping busy, you started a pot of coffee in your kitchen while you hunted around for something to decorate the tree with. You came back with a basket of crochet stars and some twine. Maybe you could make a garland and then harass Bonnie for some twinkle lights. You know she had them; she covered her entire place in them like it was Tinkerbell’s house. As you were stringing stars onto your twine, you heard a knock on your door before Elijah entered, box in hand. “Alright, I got you a tree stand, and Freya sent me with ornaments.”

“She’s a good egg,” you smiled, helping him with the box as he started fitting the tree into the stand. 

“That she is,” he laughed, sending you a grin that made your stomach perform cartwheels. You laid out the ornaments Freya sent on your counter, smiling at the cute little animals. She even sent along a glitter-covered mushroom. Your coffee machine dinged, and you moved to pour yourself a cup. 

“Do you want coffee? I got vanilla syrup,” you offered, holding up a reindeer mug. 

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Elijah smiled. You made him a small latte, as you enjoyed any chance to perfect your latte art. You went to a Korean cafe once and watched them craft a bear, and since then have forced yourself to learn how to do the same. You added a little heart, and handed the latte to Elijah who looked at it fondly. “You’re very creative.” He looked at the star garland you had discarded from earlier. “Did you make this?”

“Yeah…it’s the only decor I have,” you shrugged, taking a sip of your coffee and enjoying the warmth seeping into your bones. Elijah picked up the garland and started wrapping it around the tree, making sure each branch was evenly spaced and that the stars were visible. 

“Do all customers get you decorating their tree?” you asked, the corner of your mouth lifting up in a smile. 

“Just the ones I like,” Elijah responded, his back still towards you. You felt your cheeks flush at his comment. He was likely just flattering you. He stepped away from the tree when he was done, and your eyes lit up as you took in his careful work. 

“Well, thank you,” you coughed, putting your coffee down on the counter and shuffling on your feet. You expected Elijah to make a move to leave, but he stayed there, staring at you with thoughtful eyes. He really had very kind eyes, the type you felt at ease under. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Elijah’s brows furrowed, his fingers dancing over the buttons of his cuffs as he looked at you inquisitively. You nodded to let him continue. “Why did you come to the farm everyday?”

“Honestly?” you laughed, glancing away. “I liked to draw you.”

“Draw me?”

“Yeah…it’s silly, isn’t it?” you rubbed the back of your neck, your arms wrapping around to curl more into yourself. 

“May I see?”

“See what?”

“The drawings,” Elijah dared a step closer to you. He smelled like the trees he cultivated, rich and earthy. You felt that if someone were to be personified as a rainy forest, he would be that person. You walked over to your bag, nervously pulling out your sketchbook and handing it to him. His fingers brushed yours, but you quickly pulled away. You hated people looking at your work, so you kept yourself busy by cleaning up the kitchen. You could hear the flipping of the pages, and with each turn the coil in your stomach grew tighter. You were so nervous, you felt like you could break at any moment. What if he hated the drawings? You could never recover. When you heard the thud of the book closing, you dared turning towards Elijah and felt your heart clench as you met his gaze. 

“My brother would hate you,” Elijah said, putting your sketchbook carefully on the kitchen counter. “You’re a much better artist than him.”

“Oh,” you responded, some pressure alleviating in your chest. 

“You captured me very kindly,” Elijah smiled, stepping around the kitchen island to get closer to you. You instinctively took a step back. 

“I see you very kindly,” you whispered, your voice soft on his ears. “It was for a class animation, I…hope I didn’t offend you.”

“You couldn’t offend me,” Elijah reassured. “You make me feel appreciated.”

“Are you not?” 

“A family as large as mine,” Elijah sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s easy to lose sight of things.”

“Well, I see you…if that matters,” you said. Your heart was running a race with how fast it was beating. Elijah grabbed your hand, his thumb running over your knuckles like you were a precious artifact. 

“Y/N,” Elijah started, biting his lip in thought. “I’m glad that you kept coming back.” You noticed that his fingers were calloused and rough, likely from all the work of the farm. “I would like to take you out, if that’s alright.”

“Yes,” you answered quickly, earning a smile from the man in front of you. “I would like that a lot.” Elijah tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before glancing back at your sketchbook. 

“May I see the animation, when its done?”

“Of course.”

“Can I give you something?” Elijah questioned, turning back to look at you. You nodded slowly, unsure of what he was thinking. Elijah leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. His hands came up to cup your head, his fingers brushing through the strands of your hair. He was gentle, but firm, and you found yourself tugging him closer by the front of his shirt. Kissing him felt like first snowfall, or when you learned you had a day off from school. He pulled away, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth and the top of your head. 

“That was a good gift,” you whispered, enjoying the deep chuckle that emanated from Elijah. “Does this mean I can stop buying Christmas wreaths?” That earned an even bigger laugh. 

“You really are an enigma,” Elijah smiled, kissing you again on your lips. 

Oh yes, you guess there is a very good reason to go to a Christmas Tree Farm every day

[wayfayrr]

Hello!

If it's alright with you, can I get a spiked Latte and some Christmas pudding to eat in please?

I absolutely love your writings and all of your works! You're definitely one of my favorite authors (*´꒳`*)

I hope you have a great day/night and a Happy Holiday!

- 𐂂 anon (if that's okay with you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ)

it's more than alright!! welcome to this little corner of our hellsite elk!! (if you don't mind me calling you that ofc) I've seen you over on fir's blog assuming this is the same 𐂂 and it's lovely to meet you myself, I hope you're having a lovely day too <3

I wrote this one as a continuation to the other first request seeing as it flowed well and felt like the most natural thing to do. I hope you'll enjoy your order and your time here <3

[event masterlist]

“My deity? Is this not to your taste, did - did I do something wrong?”

What am I supposed to say to that? I feel like I’m about to throw up or pass out, not to mention the countless things in between. He’s standing in front of me with a bloody heart, all the while looking at me like a puppy begging for approval. 

“You - wh- where-”

don’tpassoutdon’tpassoutdon’tpassoutDON’TPASSOUT

[name] if you pass out here then none of the links will be able to help you, you cannot pass out. Just - just ask him to get rid of it, but he looked so proud of it. 

“Ple- please can you just… I don’t need that, can you… just - please get rid of it.”

He seemed dejected when I said that but he -thankfully- didn’t question it. Just left without another word with a defeated look on his face now leaving me all alone to settle myself enough to try get some sleep. Just - just have to get the image of that out of my head,  else I might never be able to sleep till I do. Maybe the others wouldn’t mind me going to share a room with one of them for the night but there’s always the chance they won’t let me live this down they have gone through worse than I have after all. No, it’s not worth the chance of embarrassing yourself infront of them like that, you’re fine in here on your own all you need to do is get changed and get into bed it’s easy; what chance will you have to get in a normal bed again anyway?

Going through the familiar motions of getting changed is grounding, calming even, throwing myself onto the bed and wrapping myself up in the plush blanket just helps even more. Falling asleep really won’t be hard. 

Mhpm why am I up? It’s not that much darker so I can’t have been asleep for much more than half an hour or so and I’ve never been a light sleeper like this. Who’s in the bed with me?

There’s a hand around you - look at that and then panic. Why is it cove-

“...First?”

“My deity? I thought you were sleeping?”

“And I - I - you… I - didn’t you say - didn’t I ask you to get rid of the blood?”

Oh fuck. Why is he holding me tighter now and… he’s sobbing. My back’s getting wet but it's not blood I hope, he’s just using me as a - a pillow. What did hylia do to him to mess him up this badly? From what he said before…she had to have something to do with why he’s like this. He can’t even breathe through his tears right now…

“Firs- link. Can we talk about - you know - all of this?”

Just more tears and half-hearted breaths. Is he forcing himself to be like this? Maybe if I can hold him it’ll help comfort him somehow. He- he has surprisingly strong arms considering, you shouldn’t be surprised, he probably beat that man to death with his bare hands, the fact that he was tortured and starved in a dungeon for who knows how long. 

“If not now… In the morning at least? Please?” 

A pout and a wet sniffle while he wipes his eyes to calm himself. 

“You know acting like this - it isn’t healthy. I - you can’t go around gifting me peoples hearts - that - that is not normal.”

“... if you say I must my deity.”

I’ll take it. 

Even with the puppy dog eyes he’s making at me.

[evelhak]

I’m curious about a few: Propinquity, Anem and Bitchberg (a great name, lol)

Well, you've already read about Bitchberg by now from the previous ask. :D

Lol, I actually winced a little when I saw you asked about "Propinquity" since it's the current working title of my Akashi centric fic, and I know you don't find him that interesting. It's still just a bunch of "notes" (=bits of monologue and dialogue that come to me and I have to write down so I won't forget). I haven't actively started this fic yet, since I can't really write multiple projects at the same time. I will probably have to finish another shorter fic after The Luminous Things, before I get to this one.

I know the opening lines, though:

Winning is like breathing. Sometimes I wake up, gasping for air, but my lungs seem to have fallen into a partial state of paralysis.

Or something fairly close to that. The idea has been in my head for a long time, because I really enjoy digging up ignored dimensions that kind of naturally follow from whatever is going on in canon.

There is of course one thing in this fic that could interest you: The main love interest is an OC. :) You know some things about Azumi already. Here's a snippet that will probably serve as her introduction in the fic:

I absolutely pretended to be the empress of this micro-utopia, growing up. Not because it was mine to conquer, or control. Because it was mine to know. To pick apart. Explore, taste, and merge with. A little pocket of wonder in this huge city, a bubble with its own rules. That's what I came to realise pretty soon, anyway. About the world. How different, how illogical and ultimately unsatisfying it was, compared to my shrine, my home, my own ecosystem, my island of undisturbed ground. It frustrates me that the rest of the world doesn't know how to do it. Live and let live. Give and take. Circle of life. A system that works. Because I was born into it. An heir to it. Happiness.

Micro-utopias are a huge element in my whole fic series as it progresses, and there are several kinds of them, Azumi's home life being its own example. Utopia is generally something I'm really interested to write about, especially because a lot of people claim you can't write interesting utopia without making it dystopia in the end, and I very much disagree with that, as people are always imperfect, so you don't need to add any intentionally awful circumstances for a story to have conflict, if you're writing believable people. For me, the key to what makes the most out of utopia is to centre it around whose utopia it is and why. This got slightly off topic, these are just themes I really like exploring and since my fics are my playground, I definitely use them for exploration of things I might want to write later in a more polished form in my original fiction.

The working title "Propinquity" came while I was writing a chapter in The Luminous Things where Kagami ends up lost in Kyoto (it's complicated) and spends the night in Azumi's place, where he has many enlightening conversations with Akashi. (Azumi and Akashi are already together in my main fic timeline, their own fic will cover how they got together, among other things.)

Here's a snippet from the chapter also titled "Propinquity", which I haven't yet posted anywhere, so things might still change a little, but for now, Akashi muses something like this in it:

"[Propinquity] is the central theme of this shrine. Things develop, and change, and prosper in propinquity. It rings true, doesn’t it? Right things, wrong things… so it really matters what you surround yourself with. It’s not enough to know and think. You have to see, and taste, and touch… A plant wouldn’t grow from the understanding that it needs water, if it never got it. It would still die from poison, no matter how informed it was. Azumi knew all of this, so bone deep. That’s why she was disappointed with the world. That’s why she retreated back to her paradise. I think that’s what caught my attention at first. How she had a physical place to go to when she needed to get away."

I probably would not have developed any need to write a story about Akashi's love life on my own. (Well, it's not all there is to it, but it is a how-they-get-together type of story). It was the influence of my ex, who's a big Akashi fan, and as I have probably said before, Azumi was originally her OC that we worked on together a lot. Eventually I grew attached to Akashi and Azumi together, and now I have my own version of the story.

I don't think I actually read any Akashi x OC fics myself, but my ex read them and complained about them, usually, and I picked up on two pretty common patterns, which I didn't want to do: I didn't want the OC to be 1) poor, or 2) have a similar family dynamic and childhood trauma as Akashi. This is because I wasn't interested in dealing with the power imbalance that tends to come with very different socioeconomic standing, and I also didn't want to write a relationship where people get stuck in validating each other's trauma, and it takes them a long time to grow beyond that phase because their relationship is centred around how similar their experiences are. I wanted to hit that sweet spot which I like the most, a relationship that centres around growth, having enough common ground, and being inspired by things about the other that you've never experienced before, or even believed really exists in the world. The kind of relationship that makes you feel that you want to fill your own gaps, and a key factor in that is the proximity, or, propinquity to a person you can rely on, because they don't have the same weaknesses as you. I just really love writing about people who are good influences to each other.

A lot of this fic will also be about dissociation and trauma. Yay.

Anem, then, is another original novel I've started multiple times without being completely satisfied. The premise is pretty classic religious cult + good girl/bad girl dynamic, or at least would seem like that in the beginning.

Here's how I seem to have described it on my website at some point:

Dina is a good girl. She picks up flowers every morning, to put on the altar of her family’s home. She’s chaste, she’s beautiful. She fears God. Semira is a “Wild One”, she rarely goes to church, she speaks out of turn. She could be beautiful, if her hair wasn’t so short. Dina doesn’t think it’s her job to save Semira. After all, if the Fathers don’t know how to help the girl, how could she? But Dina keeps ending up spending time with Semira anyway, and the more she does, the stronger the big black swirling something grows in her stomach. There’s clearly something very wrong about Semira. And there’s something wrong about the woods surrounding their isolated village. Dina knows she’s supposed to stay away, but Semira keeps going into the woods.

It has a lot bigger world and anything but clear-cut themes and dynamics, even though it may seem like that in the beginning... and it's one of those early projects that are sort of everything, because you're not good at narrowing it down yet. It's like a dystopian supernatural medieval fantasy horror philosophical cult story I wrote just to barf out everything I was thinking in my early years of studying theology. It's certainly a cult story, but is the cult the big bad or the world around it? It's certainly a queer story, but is it a love story or a hate story? It's certainly trying to say something, but what? No one knows, not even me. It's a big mess.

I'm also starting to feel like I'm dealing with every element and theme I have in this story, in some other story too, and coincidentally someone from my writing group actually just got a book published this year that has a strikingly similar setting and themes, (we both wrote them without knowing about each other) and even though it shouldn't, it does kind of add to my confusion to what to do with this story. I do still want to write it at some point, but it's a big question mark that sort of just pops up from below the surface every time I'm not actively thinking or writing about another project.

Some angsty pictures of Dina, also drawn in my early university years (Oh Lord how obvious my Arina Tanemura influences still were in the way I draw):

Yeah... at least they are accurately dramatic to the story.

Thanks for the ask. I hope there was something entertaining. <3

For anyone curious, here's the WIP list.

[songmingisthighs]

Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lxxxviii - 2 month mark

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

You hate to admit to your uncle but you love your job to bits. It's not like he had to twist your arm for you to accept the job anyways but you hated to admit that you kind of resent not working at the academy when he first offered you the position a couple years back. Every day you only experience good stuff and despite the work stress and pressure, there would always be something to make up for it. And surprisingly, it's not always your friends.

It was easy to fall into the rhythm but it was even easier to find the joy in the work. Compared to working corporate pharnaceutical, the academy was heaven. You didn't realize that the work load could be so diverse, one day you're working in your office, the next you're pitching classes to talent agencies and entertainment companies, then somehow you find yourself meeting actual professional dancers who are friends with the current trainers and even meeting trainees who are set to debut in a year or less. Sure, it might be because of your role and rank but it's still fun and amazing nevertheless. The students were awesome as well and while you didn't get the chance to know them personally, you love seeing how happy they are after class, simply enjoying youth.

From time to time, whenever you passed classes or students inside and outside the academy, you'd get reminded of your own youth. Particularly how hou spent the most important time of your life with San.

It had been a while since you talked to him and while you were glad that San seemed to be getting on with his life so easily, not even bothering to contact you again. Sure, you told him that you both needed time apart, but to completely cut you off after what he said? That's rich. You expected a bit of a struggle, him texting you fir at least the next several days and you having the joyous experience of leaving him on read. But of course, fate has been nothing but the equivalent of testicular torture on your emotion and soul.

With the slight (humongous) bitterness you were feeling, you could only hope that the package Seonghwa mentioned could cheer you up tremendously. Maybe one of your recent business acquaintances sucking up on you to get better deals, or maybe one of your friends playing dumb and later on would surprise you. So many possibilities and even the thought made you giddy.

Then a knock came to your door before the sound of it being pulled open and your heart began racing.

"I can see why you didn't hesitate to come work in your uncle's academy,"

Then your heart dropped to your stomach and your head snapped up so quick you could've sworn you heard a record scratch from inside your brain. Your body shot straight up and you stepped away from your desk when you realized who was standing just in your doorway.

San stood with the gentlest smile on his face and a bouquet in his hands, very reminiscent to the San you dated in high school specifically from your graduation day. Years passed and pressure building but that smile never changed.

Still, you were surprised to see him there, you might even thought that he was an illusion. So you did the first thing you can think of.

It was fortunate for San (and unfortunate for your petty side) that he has great reflex. Because just in the nick of time, San managed to dodge the mug filled with hot coffee that shattered upon impact on the wall behind him. It wasn't like you were trying to hurt him (that way), you just wanted to make sure you hadn't gone crazy.

For a moment, both of you could only stared at each other in disbelief; you not believing your own eyes, and San thinking that he may had almost lost brain function merely seconds ago. It was a miracle that San still had his grip on the flowers although he was afraid that the harsh grip might've crushed the stems. Just like how you almost crushed his skull. Not even the commotion of people peeking in to see what was going on and the sound of Hongjoong loudly asking what was going on and later on muffled and dragged away by who you can only assume is Jongho.

"What are you doing here?" You managed out.

Hearing your voice again made the tips of San's fingers tingle and ears burn slightly. It had been too long since he was able to clearly hear your voice without any animosity between you two. He was both glad and anxious to see you, but he was more terrified over the fact that his resolve falters quick just from being in the same room as you. But he couldn't give up just yet, he had a mission to accomplish and he was not about to let himself down. Again.

"I..." San stepped forward, warily looking at you in case you decide to throw something at him again. But when he realized that you were not tensed, he stood straighter and his shoulders relaxed. He carefully approached your desk and placed the bouquet of flowers on it gently. "I just wanted to see you to give you this, I... Haven't gotten the chance to congratulate you on your new job," he smiled. Your eyes automatically fell onto the flowers and you couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of purple hyacinths with leaves and white daisies peeking in and five white roses framing the bouquet like a border. Looking back into his eyes, you acted as if you were indiferent, "Oh yeah, thanks. I't's been... Two months already? So you're kinda late." Though the word 'late' stung, San did agree that his congratulatory expression was rather overdue. But he shrugged his shoulders, confident in himself and action, "Better late than never, right?" He wasn't hoping much, but he didn't expect you to look so guarded with him. Of course, for obvious reasons that he himself had personally provided in the past. "Really San, we haven't talked in a month and a half so why are you suddenly dropping into my office?" You crossed your arms at him.

It was now or never for San.

"(y/n), I've changed," he stated. You didn't say anything but you raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue wordlessly. "The last time we spoke... You were right, I was merely the shell of a man that I was before which was ironic since the 'man' you meant was a post pubescent teenager. I... Guess I didn't want to admit that I can actually get better because I was so used to in a state where my action and behaviour were easily excusable as hormonal imbalance, God knows how many people I need to apologize to and that's why I'm starting with you, the first person I ever hurt unintentionally, the person I swore would never hurt but in recent times, I've done nothing but. That's why... After our last chat, I started therapu and the moment I felt something was wrong, I slowly got myself back on meds. You were right, I wasn't in the right state of mind and it never occurred to me that before this, I've only been receiving help not because I wanted to but it's because people expected me too. I was so busy doing what people expect me to that I didn't even care that I was becoming such a mess which ended up burdening people more. I'm done living for other people, I'm done fixing myself for other people, (y/n). I want to start going after what I want." Your breath hitched at the mention of him hurting you and everything else. His words alone was enough to make you clutch on your own arms. It wasn't like you were desperately holding onto the fact that San had hurt you back then and several more times after that and even almost to the point of killing you. Again. But you have let go of the pain and though not completely, you didn't even think about it much anymore. Heck, you had managed to overcome the trauma and turn it into a lesson learnt through self-reflection. You had taken steps to grow in the past month and a half but you hadn't considered that San may have as well. But has he really?

With a your eyebrows scrunching in a frown of scrutiny, your hands dropped from your front to your sides, "What are you trying to say, San?"

Much to your surprise, San reached into his pocket and produced a box that you immediately recognized was from Tiffany and Co. He placed it on your desk, next to the flowers and before he could even say anything, the shock took over you and you rushed to smack San upside the head, producing a loud "OW" and a whine from him. Before he could recover, you rushed to close your office door before rushing back to glare at him. "That better not be what I think it is," you warned, glaring harshly at the puppy who has his bottom lip jutted out while rubbing at the impacted spot. "San, what were you thinking bringing that here!?" "Relax! It's an engagement ring, not a bomb!" He defended. Your eyes widened as large as it could go and your hand smacked his shoulder harshly, making him yelp again. "You idiot! I thought it was a promise ring or a damn bribe necklace! What were you thinking!" To say that you were dumbfounded was an understatement because you were... Bewildered, astounded, confused, and other big sounding words that just means "what in the actual fuck?". Still pouting, San slumped to the seat on the seat across your work chair and sighed, "I... I wanted to give you the option of coming back to me. Obviously, I don't want to force you to make a choice this big right now, but I just want to know where I'm committing to you. I've always wanted you to be the end game of my romance life and I still do. I didn't mean it as a way to pressure or burden you or something, (y/n), I'm stupid, not crazy," you couldn't help but crack a smile at his dumb self-depreciating joke that he took notice of. "Clearly, I took things the wrong way when my therapist said 'you need to start thinking of yourself for yourself'," San dejectedly said.

You could see that he was dejected, disappointed in himself and it helped pushing the wave of anger slightly away. With a long exhale, you leaned on your desk and tilted your head slightly to take in how San looked. Here, you have in your office that is much shabbier than his, a big time CEO whom people fear and respect, bowing his head in shame and regret like a child who just got caught stealing a cookie before dinner. This San is far closer to the old San that you loved, the San that you dated and was able to share everything with and it was like your high school self came back, reminding you that despite everything, his shortcomings are stemmed from the fact that there is a child inside him that wasn't being tended to.

Frequently, you question your decision and motives, but as you pulled San's head to your stomach and began rubbing his back, you didn't find the need to ask why you even did that. You did that because he looked like he needed it. It wasn't immediate, but San slowly inched forward to wrap his arms around your knees, closing his eyes to calm himself down. "I don't know why I keep messing up, (y/n). I just don't want to burden anyone anymore," he confessed, sounding very sincere. You chuckled and shook your head at his admission, "That's your problem San, you did everything right but one. You're taking on this journey alone when you should've relied on the people around you. You have four stupidly loyal friends, an older sister who'd risk her career for you, and parents who love you to bits but you still think you are all alone. You're still not able to differentiate between burdening and shouldering each other's burdens because... You were not wired that way. You were wired for seclusion and independence and while that turned you into a very successful businessman, it also turned you into the most coddled loner in this world." You pulled away slightly which prompted San to do the same to look up at you. "As much as I hate to admit, you're on the right track of becoming better and I commend that. But knowing your record, you need to start filling people in on your plans because not even I can justify you coming here hot on your heels with a damn proposal," the both of you couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Try harder, do better, okay?"

San shook his head in disbelief, not quite comprehending how he came in to show you how much he has changed, how much improvements he has made, only for you to swoop in and save him once again. He trully was like a puppy at your feet, he need to admit that to his therapist who had been telling him that all along.

"I don't know what I would do without you, (y/n)," you rolled your eyes and smirked at him, agreeing to the notion, "If you'd allow me, I'll do whatever you want to start making up for the past six years even if it takes me six decades. I know you wanted space and I have tried to give it to you, but let's face it, there are forces here that made sure that we kept going back to each other." As much as you'd like to contradict him, you have to agree that it was ridiculous how you both kept going back to each other. The first couple times could probably be blamed on both of your stupidity, but the times after that... Truly idiopathic. "I hate that you're making a point. Stop it," you joked which cracked a smile on San's face.

"Because of that... I actually have a plan on meeting someone, a relative my sister talked about who might give me a fresh idea of what's going on. Since you know my history and even have been part of some of the most crucial parts, do you think you can come accompany me? Help give your brutal honest opinion and rendition of what happened and what you think happened to me?"

You should've wanted to say no. You should've told him that you don't want to be part of his decision making until he can make his own damn sound decisions without involving you. But you yourself were curious about what exactly was going on and it wouldn't hurt getting some answer for your own sake. Helping yourself while helping others.

"I can't promise I'll hold your hand, but you can expect me detailing all your questionable lude choices and action."

And though you were being sarcastic, San could tell you were being honest and you were setting a boundary for yourself. And he was glad you did.

taglist :

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[ottpopfic]

Prologue

[prev]

-

It's been two and a half weeks since Leo died last

Jason is positive he's not handling it well. He's never handled any of them well, but the fact that he heard Leo die this time makes it different

Every other death there had been no sign of the other, just Piper and whatever bullshit they have gotten themselves into. But the last time, standing at the exit of the Sphinx's maze listening to Leo get crushed to death just out of his sight line had been horrible . Piper had had to hold him back from running in after him

So Jason taking off right after he had his sob fest might have been an asshole move to Piper on his part, but he couldn't stay there. They are getting closer, he can feel it. The spacing of the deaths is getting shorter, and that little window where they are both alive at the same time allows them to get closer to each other each time. Jason can feel that they are in the last push, that it's any day now and he might actually see Leo

Can he handle that, he doesn't know. It doesn't matter anyway, he's still going to keep trying

Currently, Jason is trying to reverse tree the other man. Zuse has turned so many people into plants that Jason is pretty sure it can be done in reverse. He spent over a week in research and flying about, finding the original trees people have been turned into and taking cuttings. He's hoping that he can draw energy from them and have Leo detreed back to life somehow

He's made a home base at the Baucis and Philemon shrine to his father. The place is set in a lovely grove of Oak and Linden, with the two lovers' trees twinned together behind the temple. The temple is guarded by what feels like half a million Canadian Geese, and Jason once again hates that he speaks bird

Like there's nothing wrong with birds per se, but they are loud, and opinionated, and rude. And also most of what they talk about is food and fucking, at great length and volume, which is not the most fun to listen too

Jason is down in the wildflower patch under the temple, a big clearing made by a long-ago flood. He's carefully flatted down the Jewelweed and Forget-me-nots like that one documentary on crop circles he watched with Will forever ago, bending the plants but not breaking the stems, it's a holy site after all 

Around him are the cuttings of the people plants he's been arranging into piles. Hyathsenth, Fig, Apple, Myrtle, Olive, Fir, Weeping Myrrh, Cypress, Walnut, Laurel, Popular, and of course Oak and Linden

“Godling, that bad place for nest,” a goose says as it toddles up to Jason through the wildflowers “Gramcracker can show you water if you need. Gramcracker built good nest with Cheerio by water, hatch many eggs”

“It's not a nest,” Jason tells the waterfowl

“Look like nest” Gramcracker observes, tilting his head “Sticks in circle. Not good nest, need better structure, try layering sticks not in piles”

“It's not a nest,” Jason explains “I'm trying to bring someone back”

“Back from where?”

“The dead”

“That fool errand”

“I've done it before” Jason sighs “I just gotta try something new this time”

“Ah” the goose nods “Lucky mate then”

“He's not my mate”

“Don’t, understand “ Gramcracker questions “Why build nest if not for mate?”

“It's not about him being my mate,” he sighs again “He can go have a life with someone else if he wants to, I just want him by my side”

“As mate?”

“Yeah,” Jason looks over at the goose “But he doesn’t have to be if he doesn’t want to”

“Make no sense then,” Gramcracker questions “Why build nest not for mate, no do dance yet?”

“Yeah, we haven't done a dance yet,” Jason snorts out a chuckle “But I'm making this so maybe he can come back and we can do the dance”

“Nest first then dance smart move,” the goose complements, sitting down next to him and tucking his little bird legs away “Did same with Cheerio worked very well”

“Are you happy with your Cheerio?” Jason asks him

“Very much!” Gramcracker flufflels himself out in contentedness “She's good mate, we hatch many eggs”

The goose sits with Jason as he works, simply watching his apparently atrocious nest-building 

“Why this one as mate” Gramcracker eventually asks “Many other birds on lake, less crazy godling work”

“Because he's, everything at this point,” Jason says back “We have been doing this for so long, I don't think I can stop now”

“Sunk fowllacy” 

“It's not just that, it's that he does it back. We haven't known each other for so long , but every time I go he calls me back again. He doesn't have to, but he does. It makes me want to do the same in return”

“Because love him?”

“Yeah” Jason smiles to himself “Because I love him”

“how long since been with mate”

“Three years”

“Three years ” Gramcracker squawks “That too long”

“You don't get it, you're just a bird” Jason twirls the cutting of Apple in his fingers “I heard him the last time, in the maze as it collapsed. He was there ”

“Gramcracker may be just bird,” the waterfowl ruffles himself in discontent at his answer “But Gramcracker know how to be good mate. If mate is in there you go to them”

“This is me going to him,” Jason tells the bird “If my ‘nest’ works I'll be closer this time. This time maybe I can actually see him”

“All this just to see ?!“

“We get closer each time,” Jason says, looking down at an intertwined twig of Oak and Linden “And the deaths are getting sooner. If we keep at it we might make it”

Gramcracker gives a contemplative honk “Strange curse on your mate godling”

“Yeah” Jason checks his notes again “but we'll break it eventually, we have to”

“Here idea,” the goose tells him ”Gramcracker know where good berries are, good roots. When break curse, come to Gramcracker. You two hatch many eggs then”

“Thank you friend,” Jason says laying out the last of the twigs “I might take you up on that”

-

@queenjunothegreat

[fr-wiwiw]

I miss talking about Gahan. so imma just ramble here instead.

i've been thinking again about who would say I love you first between them. The first time I know Gahan, it's an automatic to think "oh this lovely bratty twink would be the one to say those 3 words first". But then the more i dive into their characters, it would make more sense if Yohan is the one to say those words first.

Here's why, according to me, also warning this is gonna be long:

Yohan never heard those words spoken genuinely to or for him. Perhaps the ones who say it to him would be Isaac (of course), his wife (Cecilia is her canon name for me 😂), and little Elijah. What child wouldn't say I love you or I like you to their favorite person. While on the other hand, Yohan has the most experience in tragic relationships (romantic or platonic or with himself) in regards to feelings. That's why he's the sociopath we all know and love and thirst for. That's why he has a stark and clear difference between genuine ILY or not. He will rarely or perhaps never say those words to anyone unworthy of his true feelings. Elijah will of course have the VIP pass despite their relationship straying away bcs of the things Yohan does to protect his child (yes, Elijah is pretty much his niece & child, you can't take that away from me). His act of service for Elijah speaks greatly how much he loves her, he literally has done and will do everything in his power to protect her or his loved ones (that includes ridiculously pretty and hot headed Bambi that almost stabbed him with tears in those doe eyes).

Now, Gaon I'm sure grew up in a very loving family. He had healthy relationships with his friends and family too I'm sure, before fate decides to take his family and his sanity away from his life. Thankfully he has Soohyun, —no matter how much hatred we have for her, let's be real Gaon survived his days bcs of her too— both he and Yohan are big empathetic too hence why they do what they do albeit unhealthy & reckless most of the times. Remember Gaon also has a lot of fear to control him, the opposite of Yohan who reigns his fear wonderfully that's why people believe in him to do great things, and he does! He's unbeatable and always comes back on top if he's defeated. There's a reason Gaon turns to him too to do dirty things despite his disliking towards this particular decision of Yohan. There's a reason why Yohan is a beacon of light burn so bright and blinding whilst Gaon is the gentle light of hope. But again, Gaon is controlled by fear. He might and possibly fall in love first unknowingly towards Yohan once he does realize it, his first instinct is to hide it ESPECIALLY from Yohan. Why? His empathy is working towards guilt and fear. Now I won't dive into the guilt, it would be hard admittedly, bcs the guilt and fear is woven tightly together, but Gaon knows and is able to connect the dots Yohan doesn't have healthy & great childhood experiences. We know Gaon is great with strays, strays love him, they gravitate close to him. You know why else something or some people might gravitate towards an individual? They either resonate the same bad energy or they resonate positive energy. And what is Gaon? A broken stray with a warm heart. He's in-between. That's why he's confused. That's why Soohyun protects him, so protectively it becomes suffocating in a different way than Yohan's. How many people have approached him with good intentions, wanting to protect him but also ruin him at the same time? He doesn't know this. But he is besties with fear. The traumas he went through is not something a soft hearted person can overcome in a short amount of time. Yohan is built different, as we are all aware. The areas that makes Gaon weak and tumbles are the areas where Yohan will thrive and become much stronger.

So does the opposite thing. If softness and vulnerability makes Gaon strong, it will be Yohan's downfall. The proof is crystal clear the moment he realizes Gaon is his liability the first few episodes.

To me, all this is because they're not familiar with the unfamiliar emotions. Yohan with vulnerability and Gaon with reality. But both roots in the same topic, pain.

I'm sure Yohan has his fair share of vulnerable moments he's aware of but I think he never really has time to sit to mull over and accept it within safe space or reasonable time, he's always racing against time, therefore very little window of chance for him to actually be friends with his vulnerability. It's more like something he needs to protect behind his back while not noticing the innerchild he protects is bleeding behind him. The intention is good but it's not the best way.

Gaon on the other hand. His people pleasing trait is what drives him forward yet at the same time, he forgot that giving yourself too much to people will only hurt him just as much. The amount you give yourself to others is how much pain you will get. He recoils everytime this happens, giving mixed signals to people involved. His father figure (i forgot the bastard's name) experienced this. Gaon is supposed to be an enemy to Yohan but then when he's given the reality he thinks is the truth, he turns his back to the professor and into the sugar daddy's lap willingly (with manipulation involved from Yohan ngl who am I joking).

Now I just remember the professor's name, Min Jungho, you bastard of a skinny leech, kudos to the actor to make me feel angry.

Anyway— See Gaon is familiar with bad things that come with truth in reality. He's skeptical of his own reality while sprinkles positive truths to other's reality. He's so positive about Yohan, the Kang-abyss-Yohan. He even stood up for Yohan, quite literally, when Soohyun and Min Jungho said bad (facts) things about our resident devilish handsome gremlin. Even he defended Yohan when Elijah is so negative to her uncle (dad). There's few times I'm aware where Gaon is positive about his life, his future, that also is accompanied with anxiety in his part. The moment he does embrace what he think as positive, such as kissing Soohyun (sigh), she died.. in his arms no less.

This is why, it makes sense to me if Gaon locks his confession and swallows it down. Even tho his actions speak much, much louder. To me, Yohan would have the biggest probability to confess his feelings first (should the time & conditions align) and if his ego doesn't get in the way. It would help Gaon to open up, albeit with denial at first and Yohan would still be patient with this clumsy Bambi.

This, admittedly is the simple version, imo, of their miscommunication and suppressed feelings. I will tell you, these things I just wrote don't involve much of any variant of things that can make them go sideways or upside down. Such as, if they're faced with a certain problem, will my analysis stay true? What if they're in an alternate universe? Surely somethings will change and certain things will stay, but what? What if Gaon decides to be brave (or stupid and never learn) and confess anyway? What if, it will always lead to "disaster" the moment he's brave enough to take action? Or what if he decides to be brave, in means to throw his feeling away and not look back anymore yet Yohan reciprocates? Will he still be in denial or would he embrace it gladly albeit with fear when the other shoe is gonna drop? When will Yohan die? "Yohan is going to die the moment I confess, idk when, but I want to have a chance with him no matter how little time we have. I don't care anymore". Would he thought of that?

There's a lot of probability that can happen if I take out my feelings from these characters we all love dearly. Hence why we have fanfiction at our disposal for writers, artists, creators, readers, to enjoy whichever alternate or canon we can consume to satisfy our hunger. We need more domestic shit and porn of them if I may be bold— ahem. I am an artist who can draw these but I'm also an enjoyer, feed me pls I beg you. Give me more fuel, I'm greedy for them 🥲 The joy and pain being in a small community hahahah I love it all the same. I love all your edits, your analysis, the gifs, the fanfics, the drabbles, the delulu posts, everything!

I think this is one of the reasons why @amethystina story, Who Holds The Devil, is such a delicious treat for me. In some parts, most parts so far, her portrayals of Gahan's characteristics are similar to what I have in mind. And it's wonderful to see the different perspectives too from her take on their characters, it gives me more insight and more "out of my mind plot". I'm glad either way.

I have a few fanfic wips stored in my phone, 1 of them has this specific scenario where Yohan would be the one who's gonna confess first. And of course I'm making them explore their sexual experiences like a teenager and a deranged man. The perks of me never experienced any of those sexual things myself is that I can fantasize all I want and not get disappointed (yet, hopefully not) by reality lmao. TMI, my apologies.

Will these fics ever go into the light? I hope so, I just haven't invested my time into writing again as I've been investing them into my main hobby & job as an artist. I hope I can go back writing again when I'm able to set separate time for it. I want to share you some hot sexy and angsty love with this GaHan ship. There's always gonna be smut and giggling delivered by me to your screen if not tears and heartbreak like my previous Gahan break up fic ehe.

But anyway, I will stop my rambles here as I have to go back into my art commission. I need to proceed with the sketch revision before I dive into playing Monster Hunter World again

As always, thankyou if the lot of you are reading all this. If not have a great day anyways! 💖

[scotianostra]

12th July 1834 saw the death in Hawaii of Botanist, David Douglas.

As promised last month a more detailed account of this not so well known Scot.

David Douglas was born in the village of Scone on June 25, 1799, just north of Perth he is much better known in the US state of Oregon, where their state tree “The Douglas Fir” is named after him Douglas was the son of stonemason John Douglas and Jean Drummond. He attended local schools, and by the time he was eleven, he was working as a gardener for local landowners, the Earl of Mansfield and Sir Robert Preston.

While working at the Botanical Garden in Glasgow, he became acquainted with the garden’s curator, Stewart Murray, and British botanist Sir William Jackson Hooker. Douglas attended Hooker’s lectures and had access to private libraries. Hooker later described him as a person of “great activity, singular abstemiousness, and energetic zeal.”

In 1823, on Hooker’s recommendation, the Royal Horticultural Society chose Douglas as a botanical collector. The Society intended to send Douglas to China, but arrangements fell through so he ended up going to eastern North America. In 1824, he found passage on a Hudson’s Bay Company vessel, the William and Ann, and arrived in Fort Vancouver on the Columbia River on April 7, 1825. Among his duties were keeping a journal of his activities and collecting seeds and plant specimens that might be useful as horticultural plants in England. Douglas visited North America four times, three times to the Pacific Northwest and California to look for plants, particularly fruit trees, forest trees, and oaks.

On his 1826 trip to present-day Oregon, Douglas took careful notes on the local vegetation as he traveled up the Willamette Valley. On September 30, he recorded one of the earliest descriptions of the Indian use of fire: “Most parts of the country burned; only on little patches in the valleys and on the flats near low hills that verdure is to be seen. Some of the natives tell me it is done for the purpose of urging the deer to frequent certain parts, to feed, which they leave unburned, and of course they are easily killed. Others say it is done in order that they might the better find wild honey and grasshoppers, which both serve as articles of winter food.“

In October, he traveled farther south to near present-day Roseburg on the Umpqua River, primarily to collect the cones of the sugar pine . On October 26, he described an encounter with a local man who led him to the “long-wished-for pines.” While shooting the cones out of a tall tree, which Douglas described as hanging at the tips of branches “like small sugar-loaves in a grocer’s shop,” he attracted several Natives who seemed “anything but friendly.” After a tense standoff, one man indicated that they wanted tobacco, and Douglas responded that he would oblige them if they brought him more cones. The men went in one direction, and Douglas with three cones and a twig went in another.

Douglas was interested in all aspects of the landscape, including animals. Those named in his honour range from the pigmy short-horned lizard to the Douglas squirrel ( . He shipped a number of specimens home for examination by leading scientists. Some species, such as the mountain beaver , were new to science. Douglas also reported seeing—and shooting—California condors on the Columbia River.

In 1827, Douglas traveled through the Northern Rockies and then to York Factory on Hudson Bay before returning to London. He worked on his collections until October 1829, when he again traveled to Fort Vancouver. He spent time on the California coast in 1831-1832, collecting plants and animals and making geographic observations. In 1832, on his return to the Columbia River, he made his first visit to the Hawaiian Islands. He explored the Fraser River district in 1833 and left the Northwest on October 18, 1833, for a return trip to the Hawaiian Islands and a planned return to London.

Douglas had been intrigued by Hawaii and wanted to continue collecting. Unable to get prompt transportation to England, he spent extra time in the islands. It was there, on July 12, 1834, that he met his end,apparently trampled by a bullock in a deep pit designed to capture cattle, although foul play has been suspected.

Douglas introduced more than two hundred Pacific Northwest plants home, many of them important in our gardens today, including Oregon’s red-flowering currant.

At Scone Palace, near Douglas’s birthplace, stands a magnificent Douglas-fir, grown from seed that he sent back from western North America in 1826. His introduction of Sitka spruce to Britain forms the basis of that country’s modern conifer forestry.

Douglas was a tireless botanist and natural historian whose name is honoured in more than eighty species of plants and animals. David Douglas High School in Portland is named for him, a peak in the Rockies as well as numerous plants, are also named after him.

Pics are of Douglas, his memorials at Scone, in Hawaii and Vancouver.

Read more on his life and death here https://keolamagazine.com/.../the-mysterious-death-of.../

[bonefall]

Hey Bonefall! Got a wide and weird variety of Clanmew things to share/ask about! Spent some time translating a mix of straight OCs and also clangen cats, and thus I’ve got some names to show off and also a varied list of words I ran into a lack of.

Cherryclaw - Obeorussyskat

Cherry leaves who will unsheathe claws

Also known as Sookie, this is the warrior name I’ve given to my cat. Name is coming from cherry, making it specifically the leaves of the cherry tree since she’s a beautiful tortie, and then yskat from the term for unsheathing claws, as I wanted a more active term than just referring to the body part. If I’m getting how nicknames work right, I think a suitable nickname would be Obekat, but you might notice a better one.

This also turned up a word I think would be helpful - what would be the term for specifically leaves which have fallen to the ground in leaffall? Like, piles of rustling leaves on the ground. I think that’d fall a lot closer to what I was getting at.

Cranestar - Bwabwashai

Egret star / Cranelight / Egret who shines

Previously known as Bwabwashemi, this one is using the egret as a reasonably similar bird which had a word in the lexicon.

Oakbranch - Byochchobyrr

Oak tree branch

This one was a big chunk of time and turned up a decent chunk of words desired, as Oakbranch is a cleric and fathers a litter of kittens with Cranestar and thus I decided to dabble in dishonour names with him, though it would be given by a different leader likely.

I ended up wanting the general meaning of “tree branch dead from breaking a vow”, so using Babechok in place of the prefix and using a term for a broken vow as the suffix - ideally a term for specifically the cleric vow, but a general promise would work too. Thus, under this I was wondering what the words for promise/vow, honourable, broken vow, forbidden, and dishonourable would be. (Don’t worry I’m gonna add a bullet list at the end)

Nightfall - Mebwynfe

Vesper fall

Nickname attempt Mebfe? This is one of my oldest cats created, along with her sister following.

Moonamber - Shomaogi

Moon resin

Nickname attempt Shogi? She’s a cleric and sisters with Nightfall.

Batwing - Shi’poafafa

Noctule (biggest bat named) who fluttered

Nickname attempt Shifa? This one also turned up a word request- the Lexicon has a word for specifically a feathered wing, but not the skin wings of bats - what would that be? I’m actually really happy with what I ended up with, but it feels like a gap which should be considered.

Following are more rapid-fire clangen names, and then a list of words from above and this list which I couldn’t find.

Blizzardhare - Os’hauooyywaya - blizzard hare

Cressmark - Shushchafakonpen - stream plant patch fur patch

Fawnstripe - Myaaseek - baby deer long thick stripe

Ghostdazzle - Kooskepshayu - ghost lights source

Riversong - Ssbassoowamew - River lullaby

Spruceneedle - Fiffnyyp - Douglass fir pine needle

Streakstar - Seekshai - long thick stripe star

Swampdusk - Kolpfawmun - swamp dusk

Talonrump - Kachswash - claw tail

Beavertuft - Morfafaofa - general mustelids (otter) tuft of hair

Missing words which I think are plausible for the base region from this set - Watercress, Mark, Rump, Talon

Final List of Words I was Missing

A bat’s wing

Leaflitter / fallen leaves on the ground in fall

Honourable

Dishonourable

Vow / promise

Broken vow / promise

Watercress

Mark

Rump

Talon

Thanks for making up such an interesting conlang, I had a great time poking through the lexicon and naming cats.

Oh my god you even made a list organizing all your requests I love you so much you have no idea

I need to update Yet Another masterpost (And we just got the Lexicon up to date!) so let me hook you up to all the terms you need;

Types of Wings

There are a LOT of words for specific types of wing in Clanmew, related to the fact Clanmew is a language of obligate carnivores and active hunters. There isn't just "Flying," there are a LOT of types of "flight" and each wing produces a very different kind of rapid movement.

Someday I will also expand on the types of Beof, feathered wings.

Bat wing, has a bit of a "tragic" connotation if not used in the context of a living bat, as dead "songbirds" are a very sad thing to Clan cats = Pafr

Hard, outside wing of some insects, such as beetles, "Shield" = Bakbur

Clear, iridescent flight wing of insects, "Elytra" = Kaskr

Beautiful, patterned wing of a butterfly or moth, "painted" by StarClan. Has a holy connotation = Wesk

Pectoral fin of a fish, NOT the tail-fin, the "arm" wing = Sseo

Values

Here's honor-related terms, in order of least insulting to most insulting.

Honor = Kurruar To say something is honorable (good thing), the suffix -wang is appended. Kurruarwang. Honorness. To negate, the prefix Nyar is applied. Nyarkurruarwang, Not-Honor-Ness. You can come back from dishonor, it's the politest way to phrase that someone has not been acting in line with the value of Honor.

Beastliness, gauchness, lacking in good taste = Ragywar This is usually applied to taste, meaning a cat who will eat raw meat or bite through their tunnelbuns, but it could also be used in a context meaning that the cat acts like an "animal." Driven by lesser instincts.

Cannibalism/Eats its own young/Acting in extreme self-interest = Mwyrgna This is the lowest kind of NATURAL evil... but still natural. It's the evil of cuckoo birds, frightened animals that eat their own young, killing out of self-interest. VERY serious insult.

Unnatural Evil/Cruelty/Sadism = Yaonyyw This is not something that cuckoo birds are even capable of. It's unnatural evil. It's pleasure at seeing another thing suffer, for no other reason than to see it in pain. It's what Clan cats think humans do when they cut the claws off their kittypets. It's unspeakable, but rare.

And on vows,

Promise = Minki NOT a holy vow. Just one you make between people. Also can be used to mean "reliable," "Capable of keeping promises."

Vow/Oath = Shemiyyo A sacred promise, one you make on authority of your holy name. VERY few things are vows of this level-- the most common vow to make is the one you do during your Warrior Name Ceremony, making an oath to uphold the code.

ONES I HAVE ON-HAND

I answered this ask a while back which includes the word for "talon," Chuag, the unretractable claw of a non-feline animal.

I also answered this one for beavers after you'd already sent this, beavers are actually England-compliant, surprisingly

Fallenleaf's name is over here, step-by-step walking through its etymology even! Her name in Clanmew, Wowaruss is basically "Leaf Litter," but literally "Beneathleaf," the fallen layer of leaves in a forest.

CRESS

THREE types of Cress. As a treat. Any of these can translate to cress if you'd like, or the alternate translations I'm including.

Watercress (Nasturtium officinale) = Qwerru From Duck + Leaf, because this is a favorite fodder of ducks and geese. VERY unhealthy for cats, doesn't cause instant poisoning but WILL lead to kidney stones if eaten a lot. Thankfully, it also tastes Bad.

Stune (Cardamine hirsuta) = Berrsha Also called "Hairy Bittercress" in English, used as a medicinal herb. Widespread, very common, and seen in early Spring which can make it very useful for Clerics running low on other medicines. "Stune" comes from Old English btw. it's an archaic name for this plant but I do what i want. Language is an illusion and so are pants.

Rocket (Barbarea vulgaris) = Eberr Called "Bitter Wintercress" or "Yellow Rocket" in English, a much better version of stune. Pops up in abundant, cheerful flowers, hence the English name. NOT EATEN; used as a poultice for treating wounds.

Everything Else

Just a couple more things of assorted flavors;

Mark = Neb A scent marker, DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO SPRAYING but, yes, that is also a neb. A kitty "kiss" is also a mark being applied.

Anointed/Anointing/Will Anoint = Kembaneb/Kembane/Kemban To intentionally leave a mark, usually of a substance that smells nice, on a living thing. Has a spiritual connotation, used in some rituals. Can be used for a metaphorical kitty kiss, if your feelings are being returned, you're being brought into a family, etc. When Frostfur taught Cloudtail how to apply makeup to his dull, white pelt, teaching him how to look 'beautiful' as if she was officially accepting him as her son-in-law, THAT can also be considered an Anointing.

Border-Marked/Border-Marking/Will Border Mark = Ssognassa/Ssognass/Ssogna There's no way to get around this. This is spraying. It is urine. They are Cats. This is specifically when you are setting a scent mark, such as that for a border.

Glyph/Written Word/Character = Karm Like a letter! It's something written down. See the Glyphs.

And... rump. Honestly I'm always super confused by this one when I see it in Clangen? Like... My brain's always trying to place what that means.

Is it like, a tuft on the lower spine? Is it the "butt button" that makes a kitty stretch their booty up when you scratch it? Is it the flank of the upper leg? Does it just mean butt cheek?? Who wants to be named BUTTCHEEK?

SO HERE. HERE'S EVERY ONE OF THOSE THINGS, YOU PICK

Spine (the entire back) = Chabak

Rump-tuft, could also apply to "pantaloon" tufts as seen on some longhaired breeds = Chaofa

Rump/Butt Zone/sensitive spot on the lower back of a cat = Chawka (Also used to describe something they have a "soft spot" or passion for)

Belly Zone/Spot that cats don't like having touched on their belly = Bowka (Also used to describe "weak point")

Upper leg/Haunch = Pwaio Sometimes translated as the "foot" suffix. When used in a name, means quick to spring or a good runner, usually outside of WindClan.

Buttcheek = Soopen Also the present-tense of "Sitting." The butt, the thing you use to sit down with.

[inchidentally]

@watehry asked for me to a carlando zodiac analysis like my landoscar one <3 (reminder I am not Lando levels of expert at astrology so this is me taking from a bunch of sources)

this one got kind of weird for me though bc the astrology is crazy black and white simple and gave maybe a little too much insight for comfort?? anyway proceed if you still want but also skip past if the parasocial stuff is too weird (it rly kind of was for me in places)

Scorpio and Virgo are a slam dunk as a match in friendship. simple as. Scorpio is ambitious with highly changeable super-charged moods and pretty damn needy. Virgo is all about "optimization" of themselves but extremely forgiving towards other and so self-reliant that it's easy for others to rely on them (sometimes more than they should).

this worked out perfectly for them bc Lando has had so many different needs throughout his career: an extremely young rookie needing a strong leader, a struggling teammate who needed someone to provide all the fun and reassurance, then no longer a teammate who needs a friendship that fits around his crazy schedule and existing friends, and a competitor who would honestly be a lil devastated if Carlos didn't still try and look out for him on the track. Carlos has been able to cater to all of those different things without ever losing himself. he finds Lando fascinating and fun no matter what.

honestly with Scorpio being a Fire sign and Virgo being an Earth sign there doesn't need to be much digging beyond that. their equal passions balance out beautifully and has strong enduring power.

Scorpio's birthstone is Topaz and gemstone is Citrine. Virgo's are Blue Sapphire and Topaz respectively.

a lot of the usual Virgo traits don't uhhh rly apply to Carlos as a beautiful cis man born of extraordinary privilege who has a rarefied hyper masculine sport as his job (he is never 'in his own head' and never over-intellectualizes lmao) he wants? he gets.

Carlos is a solid extrovert with a seemingly undrainable social battery which also counteracts more stereotypical Virgo qualities. but he is also an extremely hard worker who shows intense focus and mastery over whatever he pursues. very very Virgo.

he's also endlessly curious which makes him a great people person as well as a student of his sport and nothing is more attractive to him than someone who is fully open and vulnerable. he would have absolutely no idea what to do with an Oscar for example. they'd both be very happy and respectful in each other's company but only if someone else provides a common topic. otherwise it would be radio silence.

but little rookie Lando Norris who has been starved of the superstar attention he had in his junior career while he toddled around after Fernando? he and Carlos fit together like chicken and breading.

"Virgo wants order while Scorpio wants power" says a whole lot about how compatible they are. they want the same things but in completely different ways. it's why Carlos can factor in helping Lando get a podium and Lando has no problem admitting that Carlos helped him get there.

pitfalls of their relationship are down to the fact that they are so complimentary yet both are strong-willed. Virgo thinks far more logically and doesn't want to compromise by factoring in Scorpio's ever-shifting ambitions and emotions. it's honestly a very good thing that they've chosen friendship/bromance over anything else. they can keep that sweet aspect of romance but without having to suffer the restrictions and complications of a romantic relationship.

and um it might also explain why Carlos was the one to push Lando into finally having a girlfriend. from what I vaguely know Carlos himself had a longtermish gf ? for his McLaren years ?? and he'll have found it easier to deal with Lando's neediness with a gf for Lando to focus on.

not to get too parasocial about real life stuff here but we can all kind of agree that Max F's girlfriends have to accept that his friendship with Lando comes first. or at least equal to them. that's because once Leos find someone happy under their control and protection it's an absolute lock for life. Scorpio Lando wants attention and reassurance, Leo Max wants to be the leader and the rock. Scorpio needs to be in their feelings at will and Leo loves living in the moment. they sort of already found their person in each other oops. but since cis straight people relationships already center around ferda culture it works just fine.

by contrast, Carlos as a Virgo would have his own strict ideas of what his relationships should look like and I'm gonna take a wild guess that his family have inscribed ideals of wives and babies and being a provider into his DNA. when Carlos gets married it's going to have to be Lando who works around the schedule and makes good friends with Carlos' wife. fortunately he seems to be able to do that just fine with Max's partners so I don't see any issue there. (this is what I mean when I said this got very weirdly intuitive about real people)

as long as the Scorpio/Virgo friendship is free and easy for each party to come and go as they need to, they'll literally be bonded as family til they die. I can't read Lando's actual feelings well enough bc he uses so much deflective sarcasm but Carlos and his family absolutely adopted him as one of their own. Lando might take a little bit more of Carlos' generosity than he gives back but that's just their way. I'd say Max F is the bff who will always be there and Carlos is the bff that Lando can meet after months apart and it'll be as if it was just yesterday.

as Lando said they're much better off not being on the same team because they were juuuust on the cusp of the teammate rivalry not being fun anymore. I miss the challenges together but we'll always get carlando content anyway and won't have to see their relationship erode, fail and then heal but never be quite the same again (sorry but like w Daniel). it's also why the landoscar astrology reinforced everything we feel about Oscar being tailor made for Lando as a teammate.

ship/fic-centric stuff

let's get the rough stuff out of the way first: long term romance between Scorpio and Virgo is… tricky. especially both of them being men. I'll go ahead and say that they're much better off having a steamy hot affair for a while but then letting it settle into platonic but extremely deep friendship. you could easily have Lando's main love interest having to accept that Carlos has the same role w Lando that Lando does w Max F.

that being said! the sex is fire. Virgo Carlos would be a confirmed masc top (literally wants to do "power play") bc a feeling of control is so fundamental for him. Scorpio Lando would be raw arousal and want someone he could fully trust. he'd be over the moon to do anything and get as kinky as Virgo wanted.

Carlos would want to shower Lando with gifts and big expressions of love and adoration. while Lando would eat all of that up he wouldn't see it as the same as spending quality time together and sharing the same bed etc. definitely would need to be a chapter dedicated to communicating of needs etc.

Carlos would break very quickly in a secret relationship. it would sap him of everything he wants to bring and receive in a relationship. Lando wouldn't last much longer because his partner denying him romantic love in public would eat away at him. it would either end them or be a catalyst for deciding to be open and damn the consequences.

carlando angst is a whole other level because of how much they both want to remain bonded together. but there's also plenty of juicy fodder: miscommunication (Carlos' fault) jealousy (Lando's) possessiveness (Lando's) a need to be in charge (Carlos) lying for the other's protection (Carlos) wanting more freedom (Lando) caving to societal/familial pressure (Carlos) cheating born of passion or dissatisfaction (Lando) silent treatment (Lando) dismissal of feelings (Carlos) angry words that they wish they could unsay (both)

or the most complicated of all which would be Carlos VERY likely assigning Lando the "woman" role and being unable to have a romantic relationship not based on heterosexuality. don't worry he'd gay sex it up bc sex is His Thing but there'd be specific no-go things for him in bed. this is because of the whole rules obsession and occasional lack of emotional connection problems. this could go really sweet and involve negotiation and self-exploration or it could just be super kinky or it could be really angsty and lead to Carlos almost losing Lando entirely. just know that it'll need solid work shown to bring Carlos out of mainstream gender norms if he even does. he will resist efforts made to rattle the world he's built for himself. if it's dark fic that features social homophobia/internalized homophobia then it could be left as is rather than trying to fix it (as in, they're fighting for their lives or live in constant peril so their relationship doesn't get the attention it needs)

the power balance will always be in favor of Carlos so you'll need to take very good care of Lando and stay in his head most of the time for him not to lose himself completely. think of how Lando always mirrors the vibes of the men he is with at the moment and that a lot of carlando is Lando following Carlos like a puppy.

Carlos will never back down and won't have the capability to deal with fights but he will never EVER reject Lando. if he needs to walk away from a fight he'll state the fact first and do it as a way to clear his head. but he'll always come back. literally Lando could have walked away from him and married someone else but it would just take Carlos seeing his number calling for him to drop everything and be there for Lando like nothing had happened.

Carlos may need to hold all the cards but life without Lando is impossible for him. they'll either be intensely loyal friends in a multiship fic or on a steady track to Carlos putting a ring worth the gross national product of a small country on Lando's finger.

[bananahoneycomb]

My humble 1st contribution to Steddie

Title: Funny Little Things

Rated T

Words: 605

fluff, flirting, established relationship, ficlet

First published on Ao3, I lock my work there but I included a link.

Summary: Steve has a few suggestions for songs Corroded Coffin could cover.

It was his own fault really for making bets with Steve when they were both high. Now Eddie sat in Gareth’s basement looking at his boyfriend in exasperation.

“No. nonononono. Absolutely not. There is no waaaay we are going to play that shit,” Eddie said as he looked up from his guitar.

“You’re the one who offered it in the bet. Come on man, it would be fun. Lighten up a little”, Steve said. He smiled up from his Sports Illustrated Magazine.

“Fun he says! Trying to make Tears for Fears metal is not my idea of fun,” Eddie said.

“What? You saying you couldn’t make it metal?” Steve said as he tilted his head and smirked.

“That’s not-, Didn’t say that. Guys back me up here”, Eddie gestured vaguely at his bandmates.

“It is hard to imagine it, but you’re the one who said we should try doing something like this in the first place so…” Jeff didn’t even look up from the character sheet he was working on.

“Next time I have a bright idea talk me out of it”, Eddie said.

“You just can’t handle it?,” Steve teased.

“I’m going to handle something in a minute”, Eddie said.

“Promises promises,” Steve smiled as Eddie flushed.

“Guys. Come on”, Gareth said. He didn’t have a problem with Eddie being with guys, just generally had to give him a hard time the way Eddie imagined a brother would.

“Sorry man, he just makes it too easy”, Steve said.

“Isn’t there any other song you'd like? Something you think might actually sound better or at least good?” Eddie beseeched.

“Well…”, Steve said as he pressed a knuckle to his chin in exaggerated contemplation. “There is this one song…”

“Yes?” Eddie prompted. What the fuck is he up too now?

“It’s a funny little song from a book…”, Steve’s eyes twinkled.

“Come on man,” Eddie said.

“Something about ‘15 Birds’?”, Steve said with a smile but he bit his lip as he watched Eddie's reaction. Eddie froze. No way

“15 Birds…” Jeff said and actually looked up and over with wide eyes.

“In 5 Fir trees?” Gareth added, like he couldn’t quite believe it.

“That’s the one,” Steve said but his eyes never left Eddie’s.

Eddie just stared at him a moment until Steve’s cheeks started to flush.

“You read it?”Eddie said.

“Actually I really think that would work. I could…” Jeff started talking and Gareth joined in but Eddie was only half listening. It was a great song for metal. Brutal lyrics. And Steve had…

Suddenly Eddie clapped his hands together dramatically to gather the room's attention.

“It’s perfect,” he said and lept over to loom over Steve.

“Guys, close your eyes. Steve read Tolkien. I can’t contain myself”, Eddie said before he pushed Steve back against the couch.

“Goddamnit!”, Gareth yelled while Jeff laughed at him.

Eddie kissed Steve’s smile and loved how the smile turned to eagerly returned kisses.

"Hmm, I like the book, but those three follow up ones are thick. I might need some convincing," Steve said.

"Sorry guys, we're gonna take off", Eddie added breathlessly.

"Gotta go handle something?" Jeff said.

"Christ, shut up Jeff!" Gareth said.

"Got it in one Jeff", Eddie said and pulled his boyfriend to his feet, "Come on you".

Steve laughed and his warm breath made Eddie's loose hair tickle his throat, made goose bumps rise and spread as he whispered in Eddie's ear, "That's one way you could handle it."

Eddie felt the blood rush to his face and his pants grow tight.

"Fuuuuck," Eddie said and pulled his boyfriend out the door.

[nadineof30s]

Mary Who?

Peculiar Reader/Miss Peregrine (Platonic)

A Christmas imagine/fanfiction to celebrate Christmas coming up in a few days! Lots of innocent fluff. I hope it's not too cringy lol.

Warnings: Very subtle implications of neglect

Today everybody was buzzing around the house, excited that it was finally winter. We kept track of the days on a little calendar Miss Peregrine hung in the kitchen. Technically the first day of winter wasn’t for a few weeks, but since it was December, everybody said that it counts anyway. I was embarrassed to find out just how much about the world I didn’t know. I knew about months, just not all of their names, and I had previously noticed the changing weather throughout the year, just not the logistics of it. Living in a poor, neglectful household doesn’t exactly encourage a well-rounded education. Luckily Miss Peregrine was able to privately catch me up, for the most part, so I wouldn’t have to humiliate myself around the others.

It was mid afternoon, just after tea time, and I was sitting in the parlor reading a book I was behind on for one of Miss Peregrine’s book discussions she makes us do, when I heard laughing and the sound of something being dragged across the wood floor. I furrowed my brow and looked up to see Bronwyn dragging a huge fir tree into the house, with a proud Fiona skipping in behind her. My eyes widened in surprise. 

“Woah, why are you dragging a tree into the house? Miss Peregrine will have a fit!” I stood up and pointed to the trail of pine needles leading to the still open front door. 

“Don’t worry, she knows! We always put up a tree on the first of December. I did a pretty great job on this one, eh Bronwyn?” Fiona asked, face full of pride. 

“Sure. It might not fit in the parlor, though. I think it’s going to touch the ceiling!” Bronwyn grunted before sighing in relief as she let the tree fall to the floor. 

“I don’t understand. Why would we have a tree in the house? It’ll die and drop needles everywhere,” I thought out loud, puzzled. 

“It’s December silly. There’s only twenty-four more days until Christmas! Merry Christmas!” Fiona yells, clearly very excited about the thought of it. My face scrunches up with confusion. 

“Who’s Mary…Chris…mass?” I attempted to repeat the word Fiona had just said. She laughed and shook her head at me.

“Nice one, Y/N,” she giggled. I laughed with her, realizing this was probably another obvious thing about life I failed to learn. 

“Help us decorate the tree. It’ll be fun!” Fiona practically shouted. I wasn’t exactly sure why or how you would even decorate a tree, much less bring it inside.

“Sure! Just give me a minute…” I trailed off before leaving the room and running up the stairs to Miss Peregrine’s study. I would ask her who Mary was, since she knows absolutely everything. I stopped outside her door and paused before knocking lightly. I heard a quiet “come in!” from behind the door, then entered the room. I walked in to find Miss Peregrine sitting behind her desk looking frustrated with whatever she was working on. Her fingers rubbed her temples while her hair looked slightly disheveled. I suddenly felt like this may not be a good time to ask her about this mystery person.

“Hi, Miss Peregrine!” I greeted her with the most cheery voice I could muster, hoping to put her mind at ease. She leaned back in her chair and smiled at me.

“Hello, Miss Y/N. You seem rather cheerful this afternoon.” 

“Well, yes it is a beautiful day, Miss P.” I gestured to the window, the sun streaming through it creating a nice, natural light. 

“Yes…it’s always a nice day?” She half asked, looking a bit perplexed. She of course was referring to the fact that it was always warm and sunny in our loop. That much I knew.

I nodded  my head at her, the same, probably slightly unnerving, smile on my face and my hands clasped behind my back. She let out a light giggle at my strange behavior. 

“Is there something you need, Y/N?” she asked after a moment. 

“Oh, yes Miss P. I was only wondering who Mary is,” I asked her before plopping down in the chair across from her. She furrowed her brow at me and thought for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, I think I will need more context.” She looked at me with confusion. 

“Well I saw Bronwyn carrying a tree into the parlor and Fiona kept talking about somebody named Mary…Chris-Mass?” I was pretty sure I wasn’t saying her last name correctly. A big smile covered her face and it was clear she was holding back a laugh by the way her shoulders shook. 

“Yes, Y/N, what she was referring to was the winter holiday, Christmas,” she said knowingly, “you remember when we talked about holidays, don’t you?” 

“Oh yes! I do, I just don’t remember talking about…Christ…mas?” I paused before attempting to pronounce Christmas. 

“I’m afraid I may have forgotten to actually go through them all with you. Christmas is a wonderful holiday, known to many religions as the celebration of the birth of Christ,” she explained. 

“Oh. Well, what does that have to do with bringing a huge tree inside?” I asked, still confused.

“That is an age-old tradition, usually observed by normals. But a few of the children loved the idea so we started to recognize it ourselves. You bring a fir tree inside your house and then decorate it with all kinds of colorful ornaments.”

“But…why?” I still didn’t quite get it. 

“It connects to another tradition practiced by normals. There’s a large man dressed in red who uses a sleigh driven by reindeer to deliver presents to all the children of the world. He supposedly puts them underneath the fir tree. It is just a fable that is decidedly untrue, but still a fun thing to think about, isn’t it? His name is Santa Claus. It’s usually something parents do for their children to make the season even more magical,” she clarified. I laughed slightly at her description of this strange person. And also the thought of anyone’s parents making up something so silly.

“Hm that’s so weird! He breaks into people’s houses,” I giggled. She grinned and nodded her head. 

“Well, yes, I suppose you could think of it that way. We do usually give each other gifts on the twenty fifth for Christmas, but I think Santa Claus is just a bit much.”

I nodded in agreement. We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute or two.  

“Why don’t you go back downstairs and help the others decorate the tree. It’s more fun than it sounds, I promise!” Miss Peregrine suggested. 

“Okay. Thanks, Miss Peregrine!” I exclaimed before I got up from the chair and raced back down to the parlor. 

She shook her head endearingly, and continued her work with a huge grin on her face.

—

It was almost Christmas which meant I only had two more days to come up with a gift for Miss Peregrine. I already had gifts together for everyone else, but was struggling to think of something for Miss P. I was sitting at the desk in my room, staring at the blank piece of parchment in front of me. It was meant to be full of present ideas, but remained empty. I tapped my pencil against my chin, beginning to lose complete focus. I looked around my room, desperate for inspiration. All I saw was the framed pressed flowers and art on my walls. I perked up abruptly. I finally had an idea.

It was Christmas Eve and everyone was getting ready for bed, excited for Christmas to come. I clutched the sloppily wrapped box to my chest and tip toed down the hallway to Miss Peregrine’s room. I wanted to give the gift to her away from everyone else in case she hated it or it wasn’t as good as I thought. I knocked on the door, and heard shuffling footsteps a moment after. She opened the door a few seconds later. She was wearing a robe over her nightgown and her raven hair was thrown in a loose braid that reached just above her waist. 

“Hello, Y/N. Is something the matter?” She asked, looking worried. 

“Oh, no, everything is fine! I just wanted to give you this really quick.” I abruptly handed her the box. “Goodnight!” I whisper-yelled so as to not disturb the others. I walked fast to my room down the hallway, leaving Miss Peregrine standing in her doorway with an amused look on her face. It was very obvious I had no idea how this whole “gift-giving” thing worked. 

The next day, everyone awoke early, running downstairs to sit in the parlor to begin exchanging gifts. Miss Peregrine stood at the doorway of her study, waiting for her horde of children to run by before descending the stairs herself, leaving the study door half open. I caught a glance of the gift I gave her hanging up in the study just behind her desk. It was a watercolor painting of a peregrine falcon sitting on a girl’s shoulder. It was a picture of all of us children with our backs facing whoever looked at it. I was in the middle and the falcon sat peacefully on my shoulder, only the falcon was facing the opposite direction. Its facial expression dared anyone to come near. It was a symbol of our protection. A symbol of Miss Peregrine. It was the closest to a family portrait I ever had. I just recently picked up this new hobby of painting, so I wasn’t sure that I could pull it off. I had to admit that it looked amazing in the beautiful, gold frame Miss Peregrine put it in, to hang above her desk for everyone to look at. After a moment I tore my gaze away from the painting and leapt down the stairs to join the others.

After a successful day of gift giving, we all separated to use or decorate with our new things. I got beautiful pressed flowers from Bronwyn to add to my collection and a lovely blue shawl crocheted by Olive. I was standing on my desk chair, carefully taking down my framed flowers so that I could add the new ones I was given when I heard a knock at my door. 

“Come in!” I exclaimed, before sitting on my bed and beginning to remove the glass from the frame. Miss Peregrine walks in the room holding a small, wrapped box. 

“Y/N I wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me. It’s absolutely beautiful,” she said smiling. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you like it! I’ve never done anything so difficult so I was nervous it wasn’t good,” I told her, somewhat distracted by the task at hand. 

“It is breathtaking, Y/N. I had no idea you could paint like that!” Miss Peregrine cried in admiration. 

“It’s kind of a newly discovered talent, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Lovely. Well I also wanted to take the opportunity to give you something.” She held out the box. I took it and smiled widely. 

“Thank you Miss Peregrine!” I shouted. I hadn’t received many gifts in my life, so getting one from the person I looked up to the most meant the world to me. I could hardly hold back my excitement.

“Shh you’re welcome. Open it!” She hushed, though she was still unable to drop the huge smile on her face. I nodded my head and gingerly began to tear at the wrapping paper to reveal a little black box. I looked up at her with excitement in my eyes. She gestured for me to open the box. I slowly pulled the top off of it to reveal a bronze locket with a raven etched on the front. I gasped and pulled the necklace out of the box. I stared at it in awe while Miss Peregrine sat beside me. 

“Here, let me put it on you,” she offered, taking the necklace from me and gesturing for me to turn around. I grinned and pulled my hair to the side while she clasped it behind my neck. 

“Wow, it’s amazing!” I admired the locket even more when it was around my neck. Miss Peregrine giggled and put my hair back where it was. 

“Yes, it has been with me for many years. It came from a friend of mine before we…lost touch.” She looked down. There was a somber tone in her voice, but I chose not to pry. 

“I’m giving this to you because you both share many of the same qualities. To me, this locket represents bravery and strength. Maybe a touch of stubbornness as well.” She chuckled slightly and nudged by shoulder playfully as she mentioned the last part. I smiled and held the locket in my hand. 

“Thank you, Miss Peregrine. This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” I spoke softly. Leaning my head against her shoulder while she stroked my hair. 

“You’re quite welcome, my dear. Just don’t tell the others I gave it to you. I wouldn’t want to cause a squabble!” She jested.

“Yes, Miss P,” I snickered.