#or it at least isn't as bad as i thought
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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"how do you enjoy *insert fandom here* I hear they're the worst"
Find the ppl who enjoy the thing you like the way you do. Ignore, mute or block the ppl who don't.
Ta-Da~
#literally just unfollowed someone posting petty snark about choices ppl made in game#their good taste in fanart isn't worth their superiority complex that THEY made BETTER CHOICES or whatever#been doing this since I was in Sailor Moon way back when#It helps a ton for Dragon age as well#and a MILLION PERCENT what I do for CR lol#I just thought adding the veil here was funny#b/c you do lose some of the magic#but at least your life isn't MISERABLE#No fandom is better than being among bad fandom TRUST me#and much like me in my own fandom space this probably will give me and 5 other ppl a chuckle XD
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mentioned Ibe in the previous post so in case anyone doesn't know him he is a doctor who makes medical illustrations showing black people.
and my personal favourite:
#dengue one is personal yeah I got comments on how at least it doesn't look so bad on my skin#because lighskin as I am rash still looks more brown than bright pink on me. but we associate it with the bright pink spots#even if it's mainly pardas and black women catching it so yeah it changed something in me seeing a black man in the drawing#it's not by him I think the illustrator is a woman doctor even but his association does have a drawing of a black woman bit by a mosquito#which isn't something I expected myself to be so excited and emotional about but. yeah#my first contact with him was in one of my classes in college about publishing school materials#and fuck if it didn't solidify a lot of reflection about the images that go on textbooks#which yes. includes women only appearing if the condition is exclusively of the female sex in this#but fuck if his work didn't make me cry. I'm an educator and the daughter of a black healthcare professional. and I never thought about it#how every single anatomical drawing I had seen in my life and even photographs of medical conditions. had been of white people#I come from a predominantly black family with a history of skin cancer dammit. I had never questioned it. part of me was embarrassed of me
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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Something that really helped me get over Being Different was the "There Are Eight Billion People on Earth" principle. Basically, there are eight billion people currently on earth, so I am not the first person to do something, and everything I do will have at least one person who would love it.
And, in the history of the world, there have been about a hundred billion people who have lived. Can I really be the first to fuck up, to create weird or fucked-up experimental art? And is it even possible to make something or exist in a way that literally nobody ever would like?
#positivity#gentle reminder#ESPECIALLY the thought that if i create something at least ONE person - statistically-speaking - would like it#and part of the reason i embraced at least somewhat body positivity was knowing my body isn't Uniquely Bad
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Bachelor ARG is real, it seems
(link to the ARG discussion thread on Reddit)
A physical train ticket for Bachelor Dankovsky, received among Kickstarter rewards and machine translated by u/DerpForceAlpha (who is to credit for everything discussed in this post!).
The Morse code shown on the ticket leads to the Reddit account u/FyodorVitin, who currently has a single post titled "The Beginning" - it's a picture of a handwritten letter:
The letter's text, transcribed/machine translated by DerpForceAlpha and very slightly edited by me:
I received a letter from a certain Isidor Burakh, who, they say, is personally acquainted with an unnaturally long-lived man. This man is the ruler of an unknown provincial town that stands at the very end of the North-Eastern Railway. If what he says is at least half true, then this long-liver will become the missing proof. We will finally wipe the nose of the damned Telman, and when that bastard is silent - we will be able to convince the Authorities to spare the "Thanatica". If I don't find anything there, well…science from the corral will go straight to the slaughterhouse. P.S. It is not calm in the steppe regions now, so I am taking the prototype of the Plaguefinder with me. I leave the current work on you all the records in my office. I will contact you as soon as I can. I hope they at least have a telegraph there. Daniil
It looks possible that this letter might be addressed to someone whose name starts with A. I don't think there's transcription of the other text in the image yet, but the top document is attributed to one I. I. Mechnikov. The pocket watch in the lower left appears to show the time 1:30.
No idea how this connects to the mysterious letters that backers have been receiving yet :-)
#pathologic#p2bach#arg#BLOWS THE HELL UP AND EXPLODES FOREVER. I thought the top document might be the KRI plague certificate from 2005 but it isn't- the font and#text do not match... hoping so bad they at least reference thanaticalabs
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xie lian: oh no he killed my best friends but damn he looked hot doing it 😳🥰
#he's so insane#they're both insane ngl#the real freak 4 freak couple#tgcf#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#i love how they're both so down bad for each other#okay look. i know he probably knows at this point but that isn't really mu qing and feng xin.#he should have been at least a little bit alarmed by the turn of events#but instead he's like ''tragic‚ anyways so have u seen how he looked so hot doing it?''#xie lian i love u so much#wait a minute i've reread further and it's possible that xie lian only knew they were fakes when hua cheng told him 😭😭😭😭😭#so he really could've thought hua cheng actually killed fx and mq but his mind was still ''damn that's hot'' 😭😭😭😭😭#girl stand up this is low-key embarrassing 😭#they really DO match each other's freak
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There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭
#so many fic ideas! i thought about a zuri x farah one with zuri doing her hair#and them talking about their experiences regarding their hair and how its perceived#i wrote my general thoughts down on it and it would be !!!#so interesting!!#(especially since things concerning race aren't really... there in game ig - and idk if i want it to be for a variety of reasons)#(but exploring it with them could be !!!!!!!)#i thought of a mini series of zuri and adam going on drives together as their relationship progresses#i also wanna write something with zuri and bobby after the events of book 3#with bobby seeking her out with more genuine intentions than he does in book 2 and contrasting the two#i wanna write a few scene rewrites just for just#and there are so many fics i wanna read! i've missed so many of them and they all seem so interesting and fun#but i am suffering💀#i'm in a different country for an extended period of time (for me at least) when i really didn't want to be#(travelling in general isn't really for me - not when my parents 'plan' it)#i'm struggling to sleep because it's not my bed and i am constantly aware that its not my bed#all my energy is going into being as okay as i can be while counting the days until i can go home#(and i know as soon as i'm on the plane i'm gonna feel like this wasn't so bad so i dislike that it still mostly feels like it is)#and i forgot to take the pill for days now so my period just started for the second time this month💀💀#make it stop PLEASE#this ended up being a more personal rant but like UAUSGSH#i just need it to be over#chichi.txt
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hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
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when you think about it Vivid Bad Squad was the first time any of them truly had people outside of family and not just classmates or family acquaintances. it's no wonder they got so ride or die for each other despite the rocky start they understand each other in ways no one else has before
#thinking again about how an's dream was doubted by everyone except akito at first#how it's akito specifically to find toya (two kids who ran away once. two kids who want to sing more than anything else)#how it's kohane that an chooses as her partner (an's loneliness from living in vivid street kohane's from never knowing anything like it)#akito testing kohane's resolve (he knows how this goes does she really want to continue)#kohane being the one to say toya looked like he was having fun (it is a new feeling but she loves it and knows he is the same)#more recently toya being the one to speak to an in wtwg (he's been here before after all)#loneliness in vivid bad squad and how it isn't that they didn't necessarily have anyone before#but rather it wasn't anyone who understood them the way they all do#sorry i thought about loneliness in the sekai mcs again and thought of how vbs are all implied to not have proper friends before the story#(an has haruka and toya the tenmas but haruka has been gone a while and the tenmas came from his link to classical)#i mean it can be said for each unit how they understand each other in ways no one else can#but with vbs especially it's. despite being in the welcoming space of vivid street they're all they really have#correction i know kohane has minori (and shiho) and akito has a few not named classmates i think? but they weren't until high school#(at least 1-a trio weren't. and again akito's classmates probably aren't that involved with vivid street or it would likely be a thing)#(so idk why i'm adding this since it sort of just proves the point further that vbs just get each other)
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Honestly... milgram project is fun bc you get to analyze the characters (and try to work out their "murder" + the circumstances surrounding it) AND you get to analyze the fandom as a bonus too
#milgram#i'm actually still really salty that ppl voted Amane Unforgiven/Guilty with the reasoning that it's for her own good#like i get it. both choices were bad#but you're honestly telling me that ppl thought telling a little girl she's not forgiven#when she showed willingness to at least hear different viewpoints in her voice drama#is BETTER than forgiving her???#and when she doubled down on her cult beliefs as a result of us telling her she'll find no forgiveness from us#THEN we tell her she's forgiven??? after she brought into the kool-aid more than ever???#like if you're voting so she'd distance herself from the cult then isn't it more important to reject her devotion to her cult now???#anyway. she should've been forgiven from the start#and i honestly think we've locked her into a 'bad' ending ever since we tried to 'save' her in T1#with our holier-than-thou smug attitude ('it's for her own good!' bro that's nothing but paternalism the thing she hates most)#to tell her we don't forgive her for what she did after years of being abused by a cult#(i say 'we' as if i didn't only find out about milgram a week before Kotoko's T2 vote closed)
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk not fully satisfied w this but it's 1:30am where i live and i have work#just had some Thoughts. if you're curious this isn't intended to bash any character#i'm not putting character tags on it bc i don't feel like throwing it to those specific wolves idk how this is gonna go over#just it bothers me how people are acting. wanted to throw some cents in the ring#i feel like people are focusing hard onto their fav's lore and missing the other side so.#tbh was a half attempt at throwing what i got out of it which is hopefully close to both#or at the very least it's Equally Neither Option :)#anyway goodnight from me sweet dreams#if you hated this don't tell me lmao#((yes i tire of angst; woe hope be upon ye))#((me: i'm tired grandpa; the qsmp angsting further: THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!'))#((maybe i LIKE hope qsmp maybe i LIKE defiance))#((catch me hoping all over the place smh))
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sorry for being edgy on main but i still genuinely don't get how most people aren't suicidal??? is it denial. ik my mom isn't suicidal bc she just constantly escapes reality however she can and ik my brother has an abundance of distractions going on at all times (also he's like stoned 24/7). is that how everyone does this. is it even possible to be present and not want to die
#gave these two as an example bc ik the rest of my immediate family has at least had suicidal thoughts in their life 😭#after her first birth my sister did this evaluation thingie and she was asked if she has suicidal thoughts#and she replied 'sometimes? like everyone has' and the nurse did Not like that 😭#and she is like seemingly the happiest or most chill of us which says a lot lol#my brother says his kids are more or less the only reason he isn't killing himself. so.#like you can probably see. why my view may be skewed. which i assume it is bc if everyone on earth was suicidal things would've been. well-#but genuinely HOWWWWWWW the world is always so shitty and everything is hopeless??? there isn't enough good to justify all the bad#genuine question idgi!!!! i truly do not 😭😭😭 this feels like the only emotional reaction that makes sense in a situation like this#suicide //#negative //#i GUESS#sorry for all the edge. i should probably go to sleep lol
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once again feeling mentally closer to my lecturer than my peers. the pure joy in our eyes when 💫physiology💫. i am the loneliest creature in the world.
#i did have a fun thought. it isn't about the age group. it's about being a teacher.#if i manage to get a job at the university there will be at least one person like that there#like this lecturer was recently an assistant so. it isn't about being old it's about caring about the subject in that particular way#that makes you want to teach it#it was fun! i even managed to put my bad experiences with neurological tests aside#because we did a couple of them it was so fun to be involved and ask questions. like it always is.#i honestly really love neurology. and anything that has to do with the senses... it's so beautiful#letters from stephanie*
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I think another aspect of conservative thought people need to understand is the idea that it's all about dominance.
The reason why sayings like "we don't want to trans your kids, we want trans kids to live" is because, in the conservative mind, you are replacing their dominance with your own. It can never be about what is best for others, it is always about expressing absolute power and control.
Natural selection, at its ideal, will weed out the people who "shouldn't live." If their existence is a threat to the already-established hierarchy, then it's obvious that they shouldn't exist in order to challenge hierarchy.
While this certainly isn't a "conservative-only" mindset, it's a trend I have noticed more in conservative spaces. This is why I don't always think it's helpful to go on about how, "Oh, we don't want to threaten your worldview. We just want people to live 😊". You will fundamentally be threatening their power in their minds. Therefore, nothing you say can truly take away from the anxiety, fear, and anger at losing control that may be instilled.
#politics#transphobia#transphobia tw#used the whole 'we want trans kids to live' because i personally think it's a good example..#...but isn't the sole example of such...#...take for instance the gay marriage debates from the early 2010s...#...'if we legalize gay marriage it's ONE STEP CLOSER to them taking OVER america and legalizing [horrible thing]!'...#...that is the anxiety of Losing Control and Losing The Divine Hierarchical Power Bestowed To You Personally By Gd Himself...#...i'm not saying all of this to dissuade people from educating people. but i want people to be aware of this dynamic...#...and to decide if they can (or should) personally go up to bat for others to educate people...#...i don't think you will go very far if you try to educate people without understanding on SOME level how their thought process will be...#...because it is likely that you are educating somebody who is going to see the world VERY differently...#...and they will often interpret what you are saying VERY differently than how you intended it to be interpreted...#...again while this isn't solely a conservative issue (believe me i KNOW) i notice it much more in those spaces...#...and since i am in spaces that WANT to educate people about this i think it is apt...#...it isn't a bad thing to want to educate. but again it's not helpful to just assume others are going to interpret you the way you want...#...it's definitely why i stopped making so many posts about educating others. i just don't think i can do it well...#...or at least in a way that doesn't Feel Threatening (even if it Isn't A Threat)
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its past midnight and time to yap about Mouthwashing. Anyway obviously we don't see the Specific Events only how the characters react but with Anya... Okay I'm going to talk about the Sexual Assault not with Specific Details but that's what the post is about so
Anyways she reads to me as very like... trying to downplay the severity to herself. Like thinking through it (not having the exact quotes but) I feel like it'd be an unfortunately natural reaction- if you were stuck with 4 guys and the guy with the second highest position on the ship assaulted you depending on the situation. I feel like its not hard to imagine you'd try and reframe it as Less Bad to cope because let me be honest if I had to confront the implications of that, mainly the fact he could do it again and I wouldn't have any real way of dealing with it without complicating things even further bc he doesn't just have a close relationship with the guy with the Most Power on the ship, he also is in charge of keeping Me and The Other People On The Ship Safe, i would be in deep denial just to not lose my god damn mind like thats so fucking scary. And then the implication you tried to talk to the captain and even if he wasn't cruel he didn't Understand the Severity of what you were suggesting is like. Besides feeling afraid it could genuinely really fuck with my own perception bc like "if this guy who I trust says he's not a bad person maybe I'm just overreacting?" is. Again unfortunately understandable.
And again I'll say that Anya fully breaks down when the news breaks that pony express is fucked and like. 1. I think that's related to her own finances (and also. Literally just realized the way an abortion could interact badly with "no savings" like I Just Processed that fact. Like I knew "oh if she couldn't abort having to support a child wouldn't just be traumatic but also fucking nightmarish finance wise" but even having an abortion could make things so much harder.) 2. Jimmy LASHES OUT at Curly OPENLY. again based on my interpretation of Mildly In Denial To Cope this would. Like. Really fuck with that because it goes from "I trust the captain and I don't want to be afraid of my crewmate for a year" to "oh he is willing to verbally abuse the captain, who is his friend" and realizing I wasn't overreacting.
I also wanna point to the dead pixel conversation and obv it's symbolic but idk if it's meant as "there's a dead pixel that Anya noticed and she's using the topic to like test the waters" or if it's "anya is literally just trying to figure out Curly's thought process" which isn't like super important but like. Focusing on the way she starts the conversation by saying that she "Likes the illusion the screen has". (I don't remember the exact words sorry) But that's really interesting to me bc obviously you can read into Curly not seeing the dead pixel and instead focusing on the bigger picture (and how the dead pixel "doesn't ruin the illusion") but I think it's really interesting that Anya starts by talking Positively about the screen even though the dead pixel is there (and she can't stop thinking about it)
Like thinking through implications option 1: she's talking about the screen and uses the dead pixel to get a feel for how Curly responds to her bringing up issues
2: she's being entirely metaphorical and still trying to sort of self soothe- seeking external validation that the dead pixel Isn't Actually That Big A Deal (and therefore she's just overthinking)
3: idk how to phrase this exactly but ppl have talked Abt the way she talks to Jimmy, how it indicates a sort of "Fawn" response where she tries to keep him calm with compliments and stuff, and her talking about "enjoying the illusion" is her trying to do something similar with Curly- essentially starting the metaphor by downplaying the issue
Anyway. I don't know if I have a full conclusion but another thing is I think ppl need to acknowledge that while Curly fucked up and harmed Anya (mainly thru inaction). He's not uniquely shitty. Most people will be in a situation where they act similarly, and that DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS. I AM NOT SAYING CURLY IS ANY BETTER. I am saying that you need to be able to recognize your capacity for harm thru inaction and understand that like. He's not uniquely terrible he's just Normal Levels Of Unhelpful, which in a situation like Anya's is Dangerous
Like. Basically you can say "fuck jimmy fuck curly" all you want but you need to be able to understand that everyone including yourself has the same capacity for harm
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#SA ment#Ask to tag#Idk I will say with the Anya thing: I'm a little bit speaking from personal experience#Of. There are things that I think about like ''ppl say These Things (that I experienced) are Very Bad but I don't think that's the case#For me'' like. Not consciously ''oh I'm over reacting'' but more ''well maybe my situation is different'' and it's really hard to figure ou#How much of that is genuinely the case and how much is denial y'know. 👍#Also Curly is a trans guy to me bc I'm hungry for characters who are trans men and just as culpable of willful ignorance and harm#As cis men. Anyway if anyone has a diff take on Anya's situation and)or mindset I'm open to hear it this is just my thoughts#Based on how the scenes read to me.#Also like the situation is delicate and this isn't like A Perfect Fix but genuinely Curly should've given Anya the gun#I don't think she would've shot it but it works as a Defensive Threat in a way that would give her security and also deter jimmy from being#A fucking problem because he doesn't experience consequences for his actions due to a mix of Captain's Friend and#''we can't really do shit to him or we lose our co-pilot'' (even tho he fucking sucks at his job they don't learn that until he#Is The Captain so they likely assume he's at least fucking. Functional and they would be worse off with him out of commission. Y'know)#But then again Jimmy's allergic to responsibility and consequences to the point of murder suicide so maybe Anya wouldve had to shoot him#Idk. Imagine me pacing full of rage. Imagining a universe where Anya can just fucking go to med school and doesn't have to deal with#The pony express. FUCK THE PONY EXPRESS
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