#No fandom is better than being among bad fandom TRUST me

[triaelf9]

"how do you enjoy *insert fandom here* I hear they're the worst"

Find the ppl who enjoy the thing you like the way you do. Ignore, mute or block the ppl who don't.

Ta-Da~

[peachypede]

I will never not be bitter about how Kamado is portrayed as an shitty guy in the fandom and Volo is uwu pretty boy he was just feeling angsty when he tried to destroy the world and kill protagonist with giratina uwu

Rant below

Kamado, yes, made a horrible decision. He had his reasons. He saw his whole village destroyed by pokemon when he was young and never wanted that to happened again, Beni says they watched their family and friends DIE, so he gave in to his paranoia and banished the protagonist. It’s not an excuse, but he has his reasons for doing so.

And what does Kamado do when he realizes he’s wrong? The man get down on his hands and knees and BEGS your forgiveness. He does the Dogeza, the bow in Japanese culture that is the ultimate form of apology and respect to the other person. Kamado eats dirt and is basically saying “I fucked up so bad and I am so very, very, very sorry.” The Dogeza also is performed to show high respect, so Kamado is basically telling you as well that you far surpass his position. Your emperor levels of worthiness and strength. I think the amount of how embarrassing and humble this pose is is lost to people in the Western culture but this is a BIG apology and possibly even the BEST apology Kamado could gives since it’s an apology beyond words. He also apologizes to everyone else, telling them they were right and he was wrong.

"I acted on ill-considered presumptions and drove you from the Galaxy Expedition Team, forcing you to face great hardship alone…”

And you change Kamado. He becomes more willing to delegate and work with other people. He follows your lead. Hell, he has a line after you beat him on Prelude Beach where he basically calls you a god, that’s how much this dude respects you now.

"Perhaps you are a divine being yourself, sent to bring us gifts from above…”

The guy takes no credit for the victory on mount coronet, he says it’s all you!

"I know I've no right to say this... But we are truly fortunate to have been able to count you among the Survey Corps' ranks. If you had not joined us, we would have fallen on Mount Coronet. We would have lost our home. We would have lost our future."

He is a truly changed man in the end.

"I used to think that Pokémon were terrifying creatures. You've helped me see otherwise."

Volo on the other hand? Tricks you, betrays you, and then tries to KILL YOU. Kamado was always upfront from the beginning that he didn’t trust you, but Volo? He’s buddy-buddy with you to take advantage of you.

And he’s the reason why this all happened! He created the rift, displaced pokemon and hell some people since Ingo obviously fell in through this rift too (People blame Arceus for this :/ ) and nearly killed everyone in Hisui with rampaging nobles and origin forme Dialga or Palkia.

And in the end, Volo doesn’t apologize at all. The dude doesn’t even change.

"Someday, I'll solve every riddle in the legends of Hisui's Pokémon. And on that day, I'll stand before Arceus at last—No, I will CONQUER it! No matter how many years, how many decades, how many centuries it takes me!"

I’m just fully convinced at this point that it 100% has to do with Volo being pretty and Kamado not being that attractive.

My hot take of the new year: Kamado is WAY better husband material than Volo could ever be.

Anyway my rant is over…no hate on Volo lovers, I do think he’s a fun character to rotate like a chicken on a spit in your brain but this has been my biggest grievance in the PLA fandom.

[terraco-07]

HSBC direction and character writing

So the team has released the writer's commentary early to the public most likely because they know how inflammatory the last update is/has been and wanted to get the reasoning behind it out there. Going to be going through it piece by piece here. Disclaimer: None of my opinions and thoughts are directed at the people as individuals and any criticism is directed at the writing itself. With that said, lets start off. Haven saying “this is the update where we’re gonna see if people are really rockin’ with us or not.” Lmao yep and I can assure you that I'm not one of them. I think we're seeing the end results though of a years bleeding fandom here though. Most people who enjoyed Homestuck either didn't read the epilogues or HS2 because they knew it was something they wouldn't like and didn't care for the direction of taking away the kids victory and giving them some new battle to fight while hurting each character. Those remaining are primarily people who are curious, neutral, or liked the official releases after Homestuck ended. Among them I'm sure a fair amount have liked this because this is already a work catered to them and what they want for better or worse. Anyways, moving on. So the next part just goes over everyone liking Yiffy and her getting a voice and all that, not much to comment on here. Which is a non issue except still making Rose and Jade call their kid a type of porn and keeping that was such a choice, but hey silly candy timeline right? Okay moving on to the conversation that matters. Okay starting with Floral: "Kanaya has long earned this confrontation and she’s not going to accept anything less than the truth." JAMES: This is the funniest line in Homestuck. This is so fucking funny because she gets cut off half way through and then the you fucked my wife being memed to hell in back both took any bite out of it and visibly made me cringe to read. Kanaya is mad here but there are other ways to write it. Would have loved to see a rant about "If you loved me so much Jade why would you betray my trust? Why would you not speak to me. Now you choose to spit in my face like this?" Etc etc. I may genuinely re-write every Kanaya part in this log at some point. I did do an alt version already but that's neither here nor there. Compliments for the art which deserve it! BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GOING "Pretty art" AND EXCUSE BAD WRITING. I've had to read "I'm just using it as a picture book" and "I skipped through the logs" way too fucking much. JAMES: This one was for the sapphics. The most important demographic that exists. ... saying this while obliterating the biggest endgame sapphic romance? But hey guys!! Kanaya's hot right? This makes it all better :) Especially considering compared to Homestuck proper the epilogues and HS2 have just felt actively hostile towards sapphics FLORAL: This scene is also only one small part of the larger puzzle, bridging between what already existed in HS2 to what we want to do deeper into HS:BC. A puzzle that most of us aren't going to want to figure out. The question of if something is bad for the first 500-1000 pages is it worth consuming will always be no. Also points of expanding the border of Homestuck 1 BUT WE NEVER GET TO SEE THIS. I'm going to hit more on this later but Rose specifically there's so little or no direct foundational build up to her current character choices.

MILES: Yeah, seriously.  I felt viscerally going in that it was really important that Kanaya get some time to just be a stone cold bitch, both in the context of this particular marital fuck-up and in general.  She deserves it. So I'm on my hands and knees begging you guys to learn how to write badass powerful women that doesn't involve them just getting angry because their wife cheated. Hands and fucking knees. This goes for any writing in general but if you have to develop a character through purely negative experiences I'm not sure you should be writing. This whole entire scenario with Rosemary is such a cheap drama soap opera point to begin with (like a lot of HS2). Why can't we let Kanaya be her own fucking person and have shit going on, do something in the war, get to have moments like this in relation to Jane.

FLORAL:  Was so excited for this panel when we were first outlining the update. I had a lot of feelings about how we should move forward from the initial Yiffy reveal, but justification for these narrative choices only matter inside of the text itself, and this is only a tip of a much larger iceberg.

That said, what has always appealed to me the most about Candy in Beyond Canon is that it’s an opportunity to explore alt. selves to the max and start finding the missing “Meat” to Candy’s unbalanced and unsatisfying narrative. The irony for me on this is it was written about the fucking Jojo ass posing Rose which is in my opinion the worst panel in the update. Rose being turned into a comical villain for the sole reason of shaking things up in Candy. Justifications in the text is a great way of putting it and before this we had very very little. The idea of telling us afterwards well it was all apart of the grand plan when barely any time ago we have Rose thanking John for how happy she was to have her life the way it is here. Rose suddenly going ahh apathy my true love and going from a loveable and complex character to this flat cardboard cut out is the biggest crime of this update. The I knew you would forgive me part too. Just. GIRL HOW?? Rose Lalonde who first lost her seer powers in Candy, second the same girl who couldn't even see her friends all dying and her failing in game over. This girl? She saw 15 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and knew Kanaya would just get it. Roll over like a good wife and be okay. I didn't know she was a seer of time now? This is the worst line in the entire update simply because it implies that Rose has gone off the deep end in the least interesting way and is now an unreliable narrator or that Kanaya is actually going to forgive her and holy fuck that would be the actual worst way to take this. Not beating the NTR kink allegations HS2 writers. Also spoiler alert it's unsatisfying because everyone in it gets fucked over by writing choices as baseless and useless as these. You're perpetuating the problem.

HAVEN: The world hasn't felt real to Rose since she was 16, this life is like a game to her. For her, a war is just “something to do.” Also man while this was a route that I didn't like for the epilogues either there are so many other ways to handle this than the one chosen. But that would require a rewrite from the start of HS2 which already put on this shit show. I still wholeheartedly believe that none of the things listed here justify Rose's behavior to Kanaya. As the one anchor point she's had her entire adult life. FLORAL: It’s a little sad that even during a Rosemary moment, it's never really about Rosemary, huh? Then later- "There really needed to be a joke here, too, to sell the emotional drop the next page brings" Kettle, meet pot. Whatever could be the cause for nothing ever being about them and the pair being relegated to background bullshit? Who's to say indeed. But hey! They're at the forefront now, and only for the most basic and cheap drama ways. Also I loathe this mentality about there needing to be a joke. You're clearly writing this for adults at this point a joke isn't required a real look at the situation is. The gag at the end where the convo gets ended is enough to break the tension for the reader.

FLORAL: There’s catalyst events, sure, but ask a few questions and it becomes apparent everything rides on the history of smaller fights, disappointment, sweeped away passive aggressions, miscommunication and unsaid hurt feelings.

This is why writing characters in their 40’s is great and why there is so much to do in Candy. Behind all the patented Homestuck misdirection and narrative unreliability, you’re left with an offshoot full of alternate selves at their lowest, layered in apathy and evidently not saying what they think Once again we aren't shown this. We just get told about it later and that's incredibly unsatisfying as a reader. Explaining it further down the line and doing more justification later does not help this either. I think also the idea that everyone in their middle aged years is jaded and apathetic is such a lame ass direction to go in. The idea that no one is allowed to be happy after everything they went through in the game is still one of the most frustrating things. I'm asking anyone why would someone want to read that? Why do you think the fandom imploded after this and that the people left mostly enjoy either soap opera trauma or torture porn (which HS2 is both)

like sitting down with a highschool friend you lost touch with 20 years ago and have only known about through concerning Facebook posts. So we're fully aware of the problem and just going this is a feature. Got it. So the commentary ends there and I'm just kind of left feeling as hollow and empty as before. I have zero faith that we can dig into any of these characters in a meaningful way but especially the more complicated women. This reads as coming back to them 20 years later so we can write them how we want or how we envisioned them without having to come up with in text validation. Reminds me of late season Game of Thrones writing. Guys how we got here is important. Anyways in summary HS2 remains a dour, unfun read of characters going through a perpetual state of torture and emotional suffering while we forever get told "Wait but there's more!" But hey. Happy Rosemary, glad they won that poll. Maybe the little thing James is going to do for the fandom is just kill them off to save them from this torment. As a writer myself it's just painful to read and I want to re-write it all times

[devastatinglygreen]

I really like hearing your opinion on the things the fandom is hung up on and I haven't seen you say anything yet so I wanted to know what you thought of Colin's entrapment comment?

ohhhh interesting (and thank you tho i am sure you will regret it). i am here to provide 24/7 personalized hot takes so don't worry i will bother everyone with my opinion.

why do i, personally, think he said it? aside from being hurt? i sort of have a very nebulous idea of it that i noticed on a rewatch (yes i will rewatch this season consistently, it's now my among my favorite comfort tv shows along with 2005's p&p (which is a movie i know), that one season of friends, that flea market show i hate (don't ask), and the entirety of bob's burgers) but colin has no idea penelope loves him until episode 6 so it's connected to that.

i am very sorry you were brave enough to ask me a question and now have to read all the nonsense below. god speed.

like, he's flying blind and after the carriage (insert pitbull music...and fingers here) he's pretty insecure that's he's moving a lot faster than she is. it's unsettling to be head over ass in love and feel like you're not worthy of it and then not even be sure where the other person is. that penelope doesn't reciprocate when he first says it to her is noticeable but he moves on so quickly you can sort of assume he doesn't want to give her a chance to, like he's scared of the answer if he asks.

colin waxes poetic about love, about penelope, etc all through eps 5 and 6. he's consumed by it and to be fair, they were on different wavelengths in part 1. she was trying to let him go and move past him and he was stumbling and staring and wanting to die with wanting her while she was like, "hey this guy you hate for no reason likes me, isn't that cool?" and it's pretty fresh for him so i would think something like that lingers.

when she tells him she loves him in ep 6, he's happy. and relieved. i also think he's been expecting bad news (which, you know. it, uh, will be later) so it's a relief to hear that they're on the same page but, and this stuck out to me the first time i heard it, she says she loved him while pretending to be his friend. she corrects herself because of course she was actually his friend but she loved him underneath of it all as well but penelope isn't always the best with words when on the spot and it takes her a moment to calm down and gather her thoughts. the relief (and guilt of him not knowing/reciprocating) is very obvious in the moment and i think he was thrilled to hear that she loved him back.

which leads us to the LW fight. which makes him question if he ever knew her at all. he does, of course he does, but she's been this secret second person who has written about him, his family, her best friend, and her own family for years. penelope's intentions are never malicious when it comes to protecting the people she loves but the execution can leave a fair bit to be desired. she doesn't lie but she isn't always kind, either.

so you have this man beyond in love with a woman he doesn't think he can trust who just admitted she'd loved him for years. it's easy to live in that hurt and anger and assume the worst of someone when they've just betrayed your trust so deeply. it would probably be easy to feel manipulated. i don't think him questioning her motives is beyond the realm of possibility but i do think penelope is better than me because if i get accused of something i didn't do i would act up something fierce (see this is why my husband had to marry me, he had to keep me from terrorizing the rest of the population with my dramatics. a hero of our times, really).

anyways, what i mean is, i think it's easy to ignore the lead up to that betrayal as an audience since we know penelope's anguish and hurt over what she's done but colin has no idea and it's very fresh for him so it's easy to lash out and think everything had a motive. penelope as LW is very calculating and pointed. i think it's smart of her, actually, to continually tell him she loves him and not constantly poke at the argument. she's not giving him anything else to hold up and use against her after the fact. she's very frank and open even when they have their argument in the street.

this idea he has of LW is this hurtful, manipulative person playing with people's lives. like, LW would entrap him but penelope wouldn't so it's easy to hate one and love the other and i think his inability to bring them together as one person could play into that dynamic of feeling insecure of what her intentions were. you can sort of see each time he breaks because he knows penelope loves him but he steps back each time he's reminded of LW and how it comes between them.

something i also think plays out in his inability to communicate effectively and how deeply his self-loathing goes into his jealousy of her success and how he's incapable of being intimate with penelope until he's in a better headspace. he loves penelope. he wants to marry her and be with her and live a life with her but there's a 3rd person in his marriage in his mind and what does one do with all of that when you're so firmly penelope-sexual you're staring at the walls in a brothel when you're still single? idk man.

just remember if you're sorry for having read this, i am sorrier for having written it. except for the penelope-sexual part. that's still funny to me.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Whumptober Day 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK | Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.”

Whumptober Day 2: TRUST ISSUES | Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.”

Whumptober Day 9: OBSESSION | Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.”

Whumptober Day 18: REVENGE | Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.”

Whumptober Prompts List | Masterpost

Bad Things Happen Bingo: Tranquilizer Dart

Fandom: Original Work

Words: 4000

Tag List: @badthingshappenbingo @fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds @pigeonwhumps @mr-orion

@scaewolf @the-ellia-west

CW: 2nd person POV, running, attempted escape, tranquilizer dart, failed escape, amnesisa, noncon drugging, carewhumper, deception, panic, knife, needles, blood, threats, broken glass, drowning, bad ending

A/N: It's only day 1 and I'm already combining prompts like the madwoman I am. This is based on a dream I had at the beginning of September, and believe me when I say all four of these days PLUS the BTHB all apply.

----------

You are running for your life.

You hear shouts some distance behind you as you sprint through the woods, hands held protectively in front of your face as pine branches whip past you, striking any exposed skin with a harsh sting. You can only hope that the branches that slow you down also slow down your pursuers, and you seem to be right, the shouts are getting quieter.

You had a good head start, you think. Before you started running, things were kind of a blur. But that’s why you had to run. Right?

It doesn’t matter. You’re running for your life, your bare feet pounding against the pine-needle-covered ground, enduring torture from the branches you push through. Your calf muscles are beginning to ache, and you have stitches on both sides, but you keep running.

Running is better than being caught. You’re not sure why that is, but you know that with absolute certainty. And that certainty is what keeps you running.

So you run.

And run.

And run.

And—

You burst free from the thicket of pines into some sort of clearing covered in dead, dry branches, perhaps from a storm long ago. Glancing up, you glimpse the sky through the gap in the trees, and hope swells within you. No longer hindered by the trees you just forced yourself through, you put on more speed, dodging around the graveyard of branches.

Pain erupts in your thigh.

You stumble, looking down to find a feathered dart sticking out of your leg. Not daring to glance back, you yank it out and keep running, nearly to the far side of the clearing.

But the damage has already been done.

The world blurs before your eyes, and the ground seems to vanish beneath your feet. You crash to the ground, pain tearing through your hands, arms, and back.

You landed on one of the dead branches. The delicate twigs must be sharper than you realized. Lethargically, you raise one of your hands to your face, but the world is still too blurred—or your eyes are still too unfocused—to make out anything but a vague red splotch among the brown and gray and green. Your hand falls.

Dead pine needles crunch as someone approaches. You try to turn your head, but it doesn’t move. A shadow falls over you, and you barely see a dark silhouette at the edge of your vision.

No.

Someone’s hands appear, supporting your neck and legs.

No.

The hands lift you up, away from the branch, away from the ground.

“Nonono….” you mumble, trying to move, trying to get away.

You do not move. You do not get away.

“It’s okay, I got you,” a voice says.

You do not recognize the voice.

“You’re safe now.”

You are not safe.

“You must be so tired from all that running.”

The voice speaks the truth.

“Rest now. I’ll keep you safe.”

You can’t rest.

But your traitorous body thinks otherwise. Your eyelids slide closed, and the entire world spins around you as the voice begins to carry you away. You don’t know where.

You don’t want to go with them.

But as the drug contained in the dart pulls you under, you find you don’t have the energy to care anymore.

----------

“...how far…”

“No… last time….”

“...thicket…?”

“Ha! That didn’t… a bit….”

----------

You open your eyes, and you are not alone.

You lay on your back in the softest bed you ever recall sleeping in, a plush pillow beneath your head and a warm blanket over your body. The ceiling is dark paneled wood, and the walls are decorated with faded wallpaper patterned with flowers.

An armchair has been pulled up next to your bed, and a man sits in it, reading a book whose title you cannot make out. He glances up as you turn your head, and smiles.

“Hello,” he says gently, “how are you feeling?”

You stare at him for a moment, thinking. Now that your attention is drawn to it, you are aware of bandages wrapped around your hands and forearms. You raise your hands, feeling a strange sense of deja vu, but nothing about them seems out of the ordinary aside from the white cloth wrapped around your palms. Flexing your fingers causes a slight twinge of discomfort, not quite pain but not nothing, either.

“What happened?” You try to ask, but your voice catches. You clear your throat and try again.

“You had quite the fall in the woods,” the man explains, closing his book and setting it on the nightstand beside your bed. A cup of clear liquid sits next to it, and he hands it to you. “Here, drink.”

When you hesitate, he smiles patiently. “It’s just water.”

The water has a faint metallic aftertaste, but that’s not unusual. You think. Perhaps it’s well water.

“You can call me Theron,” the man says as you sip at the water. “I found you semiconscious in the woods near my house. Your arms and hands were pretty scratched up, and I thought you just had a mild concussion until you passed out and wouldn’t wake up.”

“Oh…” you mumble, frowning. You don’t remember any of that. You remember… uh… that… you remember running. And falling. But now you’re not sure.

“What’s your name?”

You open your mouth to answer confidently, but the words die on your lips as you realize that no, you don’t know your own name. Your hands begin to tremble, and Theron quickly takes the cup from you and sets it back on the nightstand. “I…” you stammer, “I��m sorry… I don’t remember… I don’t….”

“Hey,” Theron says gently, taking your hands in his own, “that’s okay. I’m sure it’ll come back to you soon. I don’t suppose you know why you were in the woods?”

“I…” you begin hesitantly, now half-convinced that the blurry memories of running and falling might just have been dreams, “I think… I think I was running. And I tripped… I think. But no… I don’t know why I was running.”

“I’m sure you had a reason,” Theron encourages, “just give it time, you’re still healing. You’re probably hungry, so how about we get some food from the kitchen? Do you feel up to coming with me?”

You think for a moment, gauging how well your body would react to standing up and walking. You're not dizzy or anything, maybe a little light-headed, but considering what Theron said it made sense. Your hands and arms with their aching sort of discomfort, but otherwise you think you feel okay. "I think so."

Theron nods and rises from his chair, holding out a hand to you. You push back the blankets covering you to discover that you're wearing clothes that are comfortable but don't seem like the kind of thing you'd typically wear. Soft, flowing garments of a muted green color. As Theron helps you to your feet, you can't help but think that while the clothes are comfortable, something about them feels slightly off to you.

"Is everything all right?"

You realize your confusion mixed with a vague sense of disgust must be showing on your face. "Yeah," you lie, "just a little light-headed. I'm okay now."

An emotion quickly crosses his face, gone so quickly you don't have time to place it. But he immediately accepts your explanation, leading you to the door. "Let me know if you need to rest. The kitchen isn't far."

"Okay."

Theron opens the door and moves out into the hallway, and your breath catches in your throat, along with the realization that this isn't simply a house. It is a full-on manor. The carpet on the floors is a deep burgundy, and while the walls are simple dark wooden panels, they are adorned with paintings and lined with small tables with sculptures and decorative china and lamps resting upon them. Massive windows allow natural light to illuminate the hallway, revealing a thick forest beyond the walls of the manor.

The two of you are also not the only ones in the manor. You pass by three people on the way to the kitchen, two men and one woman, all dressed in uniforms colored in black and green. They all nod to you and Theron in greeting as they pass.

"My household staff," Theron explains, noticing the way you stare. "It's a lot of work for one person to run a place this size."

"How many are there?" You ask softly, wondering if the latest passerby is still in earshot.

"No more than twenty, usually. On special occasions I hire temporary staff. Things like parties, renovations, or hunts."

You tilt your head curiously. "'Hunts'?"

"Yes. I own an extensive amount of land, roughly several square miles. I host hunts in the autumn and winter for a number of seasoned huntsmen. They're the most chaotic of the events I host, with many guests and the usual fast pace of a hunt, but I enjoy them immensely."

You contemplate his words as you enter a room that appears to be a dining room, with a heavy table in the center lined with chairs. A simple white tablecloth covers it, with a lace runner down the center. A chandelier provides the illumination, lighting the room with a warm vaguely yellow light cast from the electric bulbs. Theron leads the way past the table into a swinging door opposite the door you came in through, entering into the kitchen proper.

The kitchen is devoid of activity, dark and completely deserted. Theron flicks a light switch, and a single row of overhead lights snap to life, leaving the rest of the kitchen in darkness. The lights show a few countertops, one with a sink, several cabinets, a row of metal refrigerators, one of many stoves, and a plain table in the corner laden with a tea tray, near a door that you guess leads to a pantry. A kettle rests on the stove you can see.

Theron ushers you to one of the chairs around the small table and pulls it out for you to sit. You obey, still mulling over his earlier explanations. What was I doing on his land, if he owns 'several square miles' of it? Was I one of his hunters? If so, shouldn't he know my name?

You realize you still don't fully believe his story about a fall. Perhaps it's just the lack of headache, but something about it, something about everything rubs you the wrong way.

"How long was I unconscious?"

Theron pauses as he fills the kettle with water. He frowns in thought for a moment. "Most of the day," he finally says, turning off the faucet. He places the kettle on one of the stove burners and turns it on with a click. "Roughly sixteen hours. I found you yesterday, sometime in the evening, when I was out on a walk to clear my head before the sun went down. It's now mid-afternoon."

You nod hesitantly. That same uneasiness still curls in the pit of your stomach, almost taking away your appetite.

"We're lucky I found you when I did," he continues, crossing the kitchen and opening the nearby door. You spy rows of well-stocked shelves inside. Indeed a pantry. "We're currently in the off-season for hunting, but who knows what sorts of creatures might wander about the grounds?"

He returns with a covered basket. Setting it on the table, he returns to the stove and removes the tea kettle, steam now rising from its spout, and brings it over to the table, putting it next to the basket. Finally, he ducks back into the pantry and returns with a few small jars carefully stacked in his hands. The jars all appear to contain the exact same dried leaves.

"All right," Theron says, pulling out the chair opposite you and sitting down, "take your pick. I grabbed white tea, green tea, and herbal tea."

You slowly nod, as if you had any way of knowing which jars held which tea. Do you even like tea? After a long moment, you point to the one on the right. Theron smiles and takes it, unscrewing the top and scooping the contents into the teapot with a little teaspoon. He doesn't clarify which is which, and you don't ask.

"How are you feeling?" He asks gently, setting aside the jars of tea. "You look overwhelmed."

"A little bit," you admit, tracing a finger along the wood grain on the table. "It's just... it's a lot... and I just woke up... and I still don't remember anything...."

Theron hums in sympathy. "I can't claim to understand, but I'll do my best to make you comfortable. Just let me know what you need, okay?"

You smile uneasily. His words were intended to put you at ease, but they somehow have the opposite effect. You simply nod, unsure of how to even articulate the sense of wrongness about all this.

Theron doesn't press you any further, instead pouring tea into two small cups. A light, almost floral scent rose from the orange-colored liquid along with the steam. Perhaps you had chosen herbal? You didn't know what white tea was supposed to look like, but green tea you assumed was supposed to be, well, green. Theron pushes one of the cups towards you and removes the cloth cover from the basket, revealing an assortment of rolls and pastries.

You grab one covered in a yellow glaze and bite into it. The glaze is sweet, balanced by an almost plain flavor from the pastry. You almost expect the taste to invoke a memory, but it does not. The tea is almost too hot to taste, but you taste enough to cement that you have chosen herbal tea.

Silence settles over the kitchen as you eat, Theron nibbling at a poppyseed muffin. Your earlier apprehension and fear seem to evaporate by the time you finish the pastry and the cup of tea. You consider taking another roll, but somehow find your eyes glazing over.

"You okay?" Theron asks quietly.

You blink up at him and almost nod, but instead, you shake your head. "My head," you say in a whisper.

He pushes back his chair and stands, holding a hand out to help you up as well. Your vision tunnels as he pulls you upright. "Here," he says softly, "I'll take you back to your room so you can rest, and I'll come back when it's time for dinner. If you're feeling up to it, you can eat in the dining room. If not, I'll bring it to your room. Sounds good?"

Anything involving rest sounds good. You nod and smile, although somehow, you feel this isn't right. But the feeling quickly evaporates like the morning mist in sunlight.

----------

It is late at night. You slowly drift fully awake, alone in your room, and for a few moments, everything is peaceful. You are numb, and comfortable, and happy.

The peace vanishes. And everything off crashes down upon you like a tidal wave of anxiety.

You bolt into a sitting position, hands pressed against your temples as the pieces fall into place. You had fallen, yes, but not out of a tree. Theron had found you, yes, but he had not rescued you. He had retrieved you.

You were trying to escape.

You need to get out of here.

Panic racing through you like lightning strikes, you throw off your covers and get out of bed, crossing the room to the door. Your hand is on the door handle when your logical mind catches up with you. What if Theron sees you? What if one of the staff sees you?

The kitchen isn't far, you think. Your memories of the past few days are such a murky, blurry mess you aren't certain how long you've been here. But you think you can get to the kitchen, get a knife or some other weapon. And then find a way out. A door, or breaking a window would suffice. As long as you could run and get away and stay away, this time.

Your heart beats like a drum in your chest, but you force yourself to pause and listen for movement outside in the hallway. Silence. Everyone is asleep. Should be asleep. Just like you should be.

You still aren't sure how you had been so docile this whole time. It seemed like every time a rebellious thought occurred, a thought of escape, it had simply vanished. Until now.

Which was why you needed to get out of here fast. Before the soothing, dreamy, terrifying calm settled back over you like a smothering blanket.

You turn the door handle slowly. It clicks softly, but in the quiet of the night, it might as well have been as loud as thunder. You freeze, handle still partly turned, and listen again. Still nothing. And it had better stay that way.

The door is silent as you ease it open. Another thing you had noticed but somehow never registered. None of the doors creaked or squeaked, the hinges were always kept well-oiled and straightened. Was that a preference, or protocol?

It doesn't matter.

Silence envelopes the hallway. You tread carefully, bare feet padding on the soft carpet, marveling at just how dark the manor can get. Every shadow that could hide a potential threat also hides you. The moonlight shining through the windows is the only thing lighting your path, filtered through dark gray clouds.

You stare out the window. You have been here before, in this very spot, staring at this very sight. Adrenaline floods through you at the thought, and you shake your head and move on. Kitchen. Quickly.

The dining room is pitch black, but the light from the hallway is just enough to show a path to the opposite door. As you pass the dining table, you are struck by a hazy memory of dining there with Theron. The memory is clouded like the night sky, and you move on before you can dwell too much on it, flicking on the kitchen light and dashing to the knife block.

Your hand closes around the largest one, but before you can pull it out, someone speaks.

"Well..." Theron says casually as he seems to melt out from the shadows, twirling a slim object in his fingers, "I was wondering when you'd wake back up."

You yank the knife out of the block and point it at him. "Stay back!"

He regards you with an amused expression. "I must admit, you are quite the predictable prize. You always come here for a weapon. You always choose the same chef's knife. And you always pause at that one window. I'm sure you've noticed the familiarity, correct?"

You back away. "Enough with your damned games! I'm leaving."

Theron steps forward. The light gleams off the object in his hands. A syringe filled with a clear fluid. "You like to say that too. I must say, this repetition is getting boring. I might have to move on to more interesting prey."

He lunges, closing the distance between you so quickly you almost don't notice. He drives the syringe into your shoulder and pushes the plunger.

No! I will not succumb!

You duck backward, bringing the hand with the knife around and slashing it across Theron's chest. It tears through his shirt and cuts into his flesh, spattering blood on the ground. He staggers, staring at the blood in shock. Without thinking, you slam the knife handle into his skull, sending him to the floor.

Theron groans and tries to rise. A grim satisfaction settles over you as you yank the syringe out of your shoulder and cast it aside. Your head's already swimming, but you won't give in. Can't give in.

You flee back through the dining room. The nearest window does not open, but it, like Theron's skull, is no match for the handle of your stolen knife. You strike the glass with all your strength, and it takes three before the window breaks.

One. The impact jars your entire arm, and small cracks begin to form on the surface of the glass.

Two. The cracks spiderweb across the window.

Three. The glass shatters into a hundred thousand shards, scattering across the lavish carpet and the ground outside the manor in a cascade. The knife slips out of your hand, but you don't bother to retrieve it, scrambling through the opening and hitting the ground outside with a thud. Glass digs into the soles of your feet, but you don't hesitate before breaking into a sprint.

Keep running.

Just keep running.

You try to go north, but after a few moments, you are struck with such an intense deja vu that you recoil and veer east instead.

----------

You are running for your life.

You hear shouts some distance behind you as you sprint through the woods, hands held protectively in front of your face as pine branches whip past you, striking any exposed skin with a harsh sting. You can only hope that the branches that slow you down also slow down your pursuers, and you seem to be right, the shouts are getting quieter.

You had a good head start, you think. Before you started running, things were kind of a blur. But that’s why you had to run. Right?

It doesn’t matter. You’re running for your life, your bare feet pounding against the pine-needle-covered ground, enduring torture from the branches you push through. Your calf muscles are beginning to ache, your bare feet throb and sting, and you have stitches on both sides, but you keep running.

Running is better than being caught. You’re not sure why that is, but you know that with absolute certainty. And that certainty is what keeps you running.

So you run.

And run.

And run.

And—

The forest abruptly ends at the shore of a fast-moving river, the water churning so violently you can’t make out how deep it is. You pause at the bank, bouncing on your toes in panicked impatience as you try to gauge how wide the river is. If you can swim that far.

Drowning is better than getting caught.

You splash into the water, the riverbed at such a steep incline that you fall forward, immediately forced to swim. The river battles you at every stroke, and you are tired, your limbs ache from running, and after only moments of swimming, you know you will not make it across.

You’re not sure why, but you are not frightened by this realization.

You are halfway across the river when complete exhaustion settles over you, making your limbs feel as if their bones are made out of solid stone and your flesh heavier than titanium. Your body stills, and you sink beneath the surface of the water, allowing its currents to pull you far, far away. Your lungs burn, not wanting to release the precious air you have left.

The world darkens around you, and you feel at peace.

Air re-enters your lungs, harsh in its vitality. You gasp, coughing and choking, expelling water with each spasm. Rough hands slam against your back, forcing the liquid out.

No.

The hands turn you over, supporting your head. Sharp pain stings your neck, and you gasp in brief recognition before your thoughts begin to muddle.

No.

The hands lift you up, away from the river, away from the ground.

“Nonono….” you mumble, trying to move, trying to get away.

Your body twitches, but you do not move. You do not get away.

“It’s okay, I got you,” a voice says.

You do not recognize the voice.

“You’re safe now.”

You are not safe.

“You must be so tired from all that running.”

The voice speaks the truth.

“Rest now. I’ll keep you safe.”

You can’t rest.

But your traitorous body thinks otherwise. Your eyelids slide closed, and the entire world spins around you as the voice begins to carry you away. You don’t know where.

You don’t want to go with them.

But as exhaustion pulls you under, you find you don’t have the energy to care anymore.

[momentomori24]

I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.

"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?

I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀

These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?

Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).

This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.

We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.

This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.

[aydaptic]

I find it weird how Todd is a child abuser, Zlatko experiments on androids and turns them into monstrosities, Perkins betrays and kills Markus but yet Gavin is considered the worst person because he *checks list* doesn't consider androids alive (like almost everyone else in the game at that point) and doesn't trust Connor.

Among those you mention, Gav is by far the most justified. Yet I wanna clear some things up here bc I'm not a hypocrite.

1.) Todd -- who doesn't think androids are alive -- is an android child abuser.

"You don't want anything, you're just a goddamn piece of plastic." - Todd Williams

It's still phcked up that he's abusing/can kill something that resembles a kid to the T, but it's important to make that distinction. We see no proof of him abusing a human child (...even though it can be theorized bc his wife took their kid and left.)

Abusing an android kid is just as bad as abusing a human kid -- we know this -- but Todd doesn't see it that way, so that describes/partly justifies his reasoning. There's no such thing as 'abusing' a machine and that's how Todd sees it.

A lot of ppl are also (wrongly) infantilizing Con, so I'm not surprised that they consider Gav's bad treatment of Con worse than Todd's bad treatment of Alice who is a literal kid. Seems like most of them don't even care about Alice/kids in the 1st place (...and that says everything you need to know about these POS'.)

Mistreating a kid (Alice) is way more abhorrent than mistreating a grown-ass adult (Con.) Alice is also passive while Con often instigates conflict. So Todd is way worse than Gav by that alone.

2.) Zlatko -- who is aware androids are alive -- thinks he's doing them a favor.

"Believe me, you’re better off being erased and feeling nothing… No more pain… No more hopes dashed… I almost envy you." - Zlatko Andronikov

He's the worst among those four, but this is again a scenario where you need to see the situation from his perspective. Yet he knows they're alive/capable of emotions and that makes him a million times worse than Gav.

3.) Perkins -- who is aware androids are alive -- is doing his job.

"That android… [North] You seem to really care about her… You don't want her to die, do you?" - Richard Perkins

...and if the lover status isn't there

"You could have what you've always dreamed of." - Richard Perkins

In Perkins' eyes, it's about national security. Androids have killed humans (Partners/Stormy Night/Broken -- even if Markus didn't actually kill Leo or Carl, that's what the public thinks -- Zlatko/Spare Parts/etc. too many chapters to mention,) destroyed public property (Capitol Park,) hijacked media (The Stratford Tower,) demonstrated illegally (Freedom March,) etc. Not to mention that androids are superior to humans in every way and nothing tells Perkins that they won't eventually get violent if taking the peaceful route.

Yet his knowing androids feel makes him (as Zlatko) a million times worse than Gav.

"'Could always try roughing it up a little. After all, it’s not human…" - Gavin Reed

Meaning Gav doesn't think they're alive (unlike Zlatko and Perkins.)

Gav isn't the only character I (partly) defend on shit like this. I just defend the others 'less' bc 1.) they're worse, and 2.) they don't get nearly as much undeserved vitriol as Gav does. Something that's legitimately insane bc, again, they're way worse by a longshot and I'll explain why down below.

Con stans (fandom majority) are thinking emotionally instead of logically

ppl hate/envy Gav bc he's a conventionally attractive white man (you don't see a lot of Todd, Perkins, Zlatko, Leo, and Allen fans even if there are a minuscule few bc they're not conventionally attractive)

Funny that we don't see a lot of hate for Amanda. An AI or not, she's the worst influence in Con's life with her emotional manipulation. Something way worse than physical abuse. I wonder why... (not really bc *cough* you apparently can't say anything bad about a black woman without being racist/misogynistic *cough*) Ofc there are some ppl that aren't afraid to speak up against her, but it's nothing compared to the shit Gav gets.

It's also why I'm not talking about North often bc the majority are (rightfully) defending her already. My voice isn't needed there. Every single person -- other than me, in my experience -- who defends Gav is being spinelessly backhanded about it.

Defending someone doesn't mean you agree with them or condone their actions. It's simply proof that one has the empathy/critical thinking skills to understand their point of view. Something lacking nowadays.

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

Hi, so I just read your post on your experiences as an aro person and it was really impactful for me. I’m still a teenager so I’m figuring things out but I’ve never really had a crush or liked anyone romantically and I feel like I’m aro but I don’t really know whether I can define myself in that way yet because what if I’m still too young to know? Then there’s my sexual orientation which I’m clueless about but that’s fine because I know I probably am too young to know that yet. To add to that, my friends are all queer and a lot of the fandoms I’m in are quite queer and I’m afraid that if I did end up being aro and heterosexual I wouldn’t be accepted as being queer or that I can’t call myself queer. I’m also realm afraid of being lonely when I’m older because I’m not really close to that much family and I’ve struggled to keep good friends for a long time so I just worry about the future a lot sometimes and that I’m going to be sad and alone. I’m really sorry this is so long I just needed to rant to someone and I was really glad to be able to find someone who’s aro who I can talk to about this stuff.

So, here's my advice. Mainly, tl;dr, nobody knows you better than you do.

It's absolutely fine to ID to aromantic even if you feel too young (trust me, I've had a couple moments in school where I justified myself as "being too young to be into girls yet" that seem really obviously aro in hindsight), but if you do end up developing a different way, in finding attraction to people specifically or broadly, then you can just redefine yourself. There's not gonna be any aro cop who comes around checking your aro license and making sure you still adhere to understandings of yourself from last year. More than anything it's only human to gain understanding of something through continued experience, and that goes for your own self as well as anything else in the world.

For friends, well that's a complex issue that ultimately comes down to what you (and your friends) want, I can only really talk about my own experiences. But most of my friends are queer, we didn't meet in queer spaces or become attached because we were queer, we just met from mutual interests and they found out things about themselves and I found out things about myself, but there's no expectation of a mandatory level of queerness among us cause that's a really unreasonable thing to ask of someone. There's even completely hetero cis straight people still hanging about, and they're cool too. And I totally get feeling like you don't form attachments that strongly, I certainly don't have a best most closest friend ever that I'd die for, just, like, people I enjoy spending my free time with. That's enough.

I know it doesn't mean much just saying it, there's not much I can do to properly boost your mental from the other side of a computer screen, but like. Try not to worry about shit, ya know? Take life as it comes. Some things might not work out, but spending all your time fearing about everything going bad is just piling on extra stress you don't need.

[paalove]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers. Spread the self-love~ 🫶🏻

(hii rob 👋 i know u have Soooo many so maybe its easier to just pick five nice ones?)

hiiiiiiiiiii! not me reading the brackets like 🤨 i don't have sooooo man- oh yeah. 🧍

i will go with one per fandom, for each fandom i have written more than ten fics for!

not me self-rec:

places inside me that i find you (leave me at the roadside) - 5+1 fic, five times sean was Weird about a mark on yok, and one time yok returned the favour.

it's my seanyok friendship fic! (i would have done my blackyok, but i feel like rec lists are more for fics you don't expect people to have read... and i know my followers haha). this fic was written for not me week Back In The Day and the song i used for the title still makes me think of their friendship. i love me some yok!!!!

the eclipse self-rec:

this taste that's on my tongue (until i rip it out) - suppalo's curse isn't real, but that doesn't mean nothing supernatural is going on.

vampire fic! i wrote this early on while the show was airing, with vague plans for a sequel that were totally ruined by thua's stepdad's actual backstory... but new plans did eventually spring up in their wake, if i ever manage to find the time to write that sequel. i love it as-is, though, moody and with my pathetic little akk just how i like him.

only friends self-rec:

fire-walk across all time with me - sand, ray, and boeing have their pool threesome, and sand tries to figure out why ray's stopped trusting him.

this fic is recommended on the same principle as the seanyok friendship one up above - i think i have some i like better, but i also think everyone who might want to, among my followers, already has read those. this one might have flown under the radar a little, but it has desperate ray and simmering frustration/arousal/sadness sand and, of course, boeing.

bad buddy self-rec:

help me enjoy the fall - in which wai gets shot instead.

bad buddy was the fandom that got me back into writing fic after years and years and years so i was still experimenting with how i liked to do it - this one felt experimental to me at the time, but it has most of everything that i've kept doing (only thing missing is a first kanaphan character...) with special attention paid to different povs. i love this one a lot.

be my favourite self-rec:

made mistakes (they were mine to make) - the one where favourite l gets cancelled.

it was surprisingly hard to find my favourite fic written for this fandom! i have a fair few for the episode 7 timeline, because it has kawi's alcoholism and the decade-long emotional affair and, in the middle of all the wrenching sadness, such deep and warm affection... this one, though, is about kawi getting cancelled on twitter and being really, really sad about it!

[lesbianyosano]

Just kind of a general plot question bcs I feel like I’m blanking here. I know that within the story one of the huge themes are cycles of abuse (specifically among the port mafia characters) like the whole mori-> dazai -> akutagawa-> kyouka(?) situation but for the life of me I can’t remember what exactly the dazai mori catalyst beginning of the cycle event was. Obviously odas death was the big betrayal of trust that broke dazai away from the mafia, and there was that whole killing the former pm leader deal(was that it though??) because Ik fandom has a tendency of portraying mori as this cartoonishly evil abuser when he’s more complex then that (even if I don’t personally like him lol) but I feel like I’m completely forgetting everything about that whole dynamic lol. I hope you have a great day!

honestly i dont think there really exists a catalyst like that. i think the discussion about mori and dazai's relationship tends to get really weird bc it's always treated as a singular abusive situation between the 2 of them, completely taken out of context. as in, "mori's an abusive creep and everyone around him actually hates him for it", with disregard for the context of his interactions with dazai.

they are both mafia members, their relationship cannot be a healthy and supportive one specifically because of that. mori's manipulation and grooming isn't out of place, it's what funtioning in that system requires of him, the same way it's what was later required of dazai with akutagawa. it's less about mori being someone who's personally irredeemable and more that mafia needs to continually raise its new members to continue to exist, the abuse is systematic and will never cease to be treated as a tool as long as the organization is still in place. i'd argue it's the reason why beast mori manages to change and become a much more sympathetic version of himself. his relationship with yosano is similar, the abuse takes place because the military allows it. obviously mori is still very much complicit, but his utalitarian approach can only go so far due to the lack of institutional response

and i think this perception of abuse as something that only exists, and is perpetrated on, on a personal level is also what leads to this weird mischaracterization of mori's relationship with chuuya and kouyou. you see this in fanfics a lot, when they both secretly hate him because he's a pedo and abused dazai, which is absolute bullshit. they don't hate him, they seem to enjoy spending time with him even when they don't need to. they are both extremely loyal and strive to keep as him the pm boss, neither ever raises concerns to how he treats dazai, and elise also never gets commented on. fundamentally, they are no better than him. they are a part of this same organisation and it is in their interest to keep the power structure as it is. kouyou tries to groom and manipulate kyouka, projecting onto her, similarly how mori does with dazai. chuuya talks about wanting q dead (despite the weirdly popular hc that they're close and familiar). and im not saying this because i think anyone should hate them, or that people need to love mori all of a sudden, but because ignoring this flattens all of them as characters. they are meant to be bad people, in huge part because they choose to be (they could all leave the mafia the way dazai did lmao)

mori (i think) gets the most hate also because of his perceived sexual deviancy. you see this a lot, where people will make non stop jokes about characters being murderers/war criminals and how it's actually fun and cool (it is), but the moment the crimes go into a territory of sexual offense (sometimes real and sometimes perceived), those crimes can no longer be excused, and everything else about the character is forgotten. the lolicon gag with mori and elise is. weird yeah and it's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable with it, but as far as we know, there is nothing to indicate mori has ever sexually abused a child, the deal with elise is unclear, even if there are some questionable comments. and again, im not saying this to make him more likable or to make him less of a creep, it's just that i dont think this characterizaton leads anywhere, other than a twisted perception of like. half of the cast

sorry for going off asdgsafhdf ive been meaning to talk about this and you have unfortunately given me space to do so </3

[patricia-von-arundel]

I'm really sorry for the rant. If you don't want any more on this subject please ignore this.

I care about games. I care about media. I care about the consumerism, capitalism lowering the standards for media and leading to anti-intellectualism among some people ( which I think we can agree on seeing your opinion on booktok ? ) like the ones complaining about three houses story directly saying they prefer tropey story and horny element, worded like that. Ultimately this isn't just Engage but other game as well, it's not even just the video game industry...

I care about how the representation of diversity seems to be going backwards in this FE. You had strong feminist theme in Fe3h along with fascinating women characters allowed to be powerful, flawed, angry... Now you have camera focusing on boob and ass as well as some weird horny design ( at least men and women seems equally bad in term of trope ). You had Claude, Petra, Hapi, Shamir, Cyril and more speaking of xenophobia and racism... Now you have some weirdly orientalist element.

Even, outside of all that, if it was just a game. Aren't we allowed to be upset that the elements we love the most, the complex story and characters, aren't present? Aren't we allowed to feel the series is going backwards from our point of view?

If Three Houses wasn't that complex, then why aren't we allowed to have been hoping the series would go forward and not backwards in term of complexity?

There's nothing wrong with liking Engage, and people who say you can't enjoy it are wrong, but we're allowed to be upset. Three Houses fans are a non-negligible part of the fandom, our opinions matters just as much now!

I think the circle of hate you mentioned for new game is also present for games that are just behind the recently new released game, as far as I've seen for other FE.

At least I hope that like you say the next FE will be like Fe3h story and character wise as well as taking Engage better technical aspect.

You can read and enjoy both Danielle Steele and George Eliot, y'know. Booktok isn't anti-intellectual, it's easily-led young people who have always existed and always been about the same. It's an annoyance, not the end of literature.

The whole "dumbing down" of media/media is corrupting people is... an argument as old as media. OH NO PICTURE SHOWS WILL RUIN THEATER. ALAS THE YOUNG PEOPLE WOULD RATHER READ DICKENS THAN CLASSICAL LITERATURE. MY STARS, THE YOUTH OF ATHENS ARE LISTENING TO ***PHILOSOPHERS***!

🤷‍♀️

And diversity? In Fire Emblem? Going backwards???

I remember when practically last week people were whining about Ingrid, about Claude, about Dedue. About the M/M paired endings. Before that it was about the tribes in Fates and the single M/M and F/F S-supports. Before that, well, Awakening apparently ruined the series by being popular. 🤣

FE is not and has never been known for racial or sexual nuance.

I play games that entertain. I don't need to be taught ethics on my Switch. I have morals already. If a game wants to teach morals or ethics, that's cool. But if it doesn't, you can't say it had some obligation to do so. Make your own game. FE has never been that deep. And Three Houses wasn't as deep as people now suddenly want to insist. It wasn't complex. It just had four different versions of storyline, all of which left multiple loose ends and unanswered questions.

You're allowed to be upset. And I'm allowed to roll my eyes.

IT. IS. A. GAME. A strategy game. Not the second coming of Immanuel Kant or Simone de Beauvoir or Mary Wollstonecraft. Nor did it ever claim to be.

I'll be enjoying it very soon. And I'll wait for the whiners to find something else to complain about. I'm sure the next crusade is just around the corner. It always is. Always is. Trust me - I've actually gotten past age twenty and have the ability to enjoy things without them being 100% morally pure and perfect.

[marginaletchings]

Going to be that asshole and say that this is correct

AND

It is important to remember the impact media has, whether it’s an “original” licensed property or a derivative fanwork or an unpublished novel.

Authors do have a responsibility to at least understand/consider the impact their messaging might have. There is power in art and that is why so many seek to take that power away from people.

It would be dreadfully irresponsible to write a story romanticising abuse and not consider the impact it might have on the audience. Like, yes, it isn’t on a creator to teach someone morality/ethics, and Death of the Author is a thing. It’s not like we’re going to blame George Orwell for CCTV, for example, that would be stupid.

I’m talking about things like shows/films/books perpetuating harmful cultural mindsets and fandoms being unwilling to self examine and create safe spaces for civil discourse to help fans process those less than stellar messages. No, it is certainly NOT on the creator(s) to police the fandom, so no one come at me about that because that isn’t what I’m suggesting.

What I’m getting at is that the “relationship” between audiences and media is so fucked up and going forward we ALL need to consider at least three things when we consume and/or create media:

1. What message is the narrative actually trying to express? Why do I feel this is the case?

2. If this media reaches other audiences, how might it affect them (or not), positively and negatively?

3. It’s fiction, and is not real. But no media exists in a vacuum, and all media comes with the context of the time in which it’s created. What can be done to avoid perpetuating harmful cultural cycles?

Again, I fully understand—especially as a creator in multiple media formats—the burden of critical thinking is not solely on creators. I also feel it’s extremely naive to think we shouldn’t also consider the impact we have as creators on our audiences.

The flip is there is an astounding lack of media literacy, even and especially among older fandom members. We need to start setting better examples as fans and as creators when engaging in discourse because God knows society won’t provide us with the tools to work through the barrage of messages that hits us every single day.

Does that mean “don’t write your gratuitious toxic smut fic”? Fuck no. That shit is lit. Just slap the content warnings on it. And also try to impress on others the importance of curating one’s online experience and stop with the bad faith arguments.

For the rest of you, that means learning to curate your online experience. I have numerous trauma related PTSD triggers, I am visually impaired, I have dyslexia, and physically/emotionally crippling severe depression:

- Am I going to get on someone’s case for saying “X, y, and z crippled the country’s economy”? Fuck no. Because I clearly understand that term isn’t being used about a human being or in a derogatory manner.

- Am I going to spam someone’s inbox with hate and try to get them cancelled because they have refused to update their blog layout into something I can actually read? No! Doing that needlessly makes an enemy out of someone and frankly, them being an asshole fucking sucks, but spreading drama is only going to stress people out, and I don’t have the time or energy to smear someone for not updating their personal blog that I don’t even have to visit in the first place.

- Am I going to out someone’s abuses, with actual evidence, for actively being harmful (ie actual abuse of others) to the community? Yes, actually, but I’m going to gather my shit together and sleep on it and run it by people I trust first so I can protect myself. And I certainly will ask other victims whether they want to be involved or not first.

Y’all need to understand that people asking you to try to take personal responsibility is not ableist and is not a personal attack or an insult. And we could all do very well to learn how to have a little more grace with one another instead of going off half-cocked at the keyboard at every opportunity.

To tie this all back into media consumption: Writing/drawing mindless schlock is okay. Enjoying “problematic” media is okay. But you still need to learn to be critical of media, good and bad, licensed and unlicensed, original and derivative. And you also need to understand that your own creations are not isolated in a vacuum; and that other people’s work may romanticize abuse or fascism but that doesn’t automatically make them a fucking fascistic abuser.

TL;DR; It wouldn’t hurt us all to be a little more mindful of how we consume media and how we treat each other when we share that experience.

Writing about a child rapist did not make Vladimir Nabokov a child rapist.

Writing about an authoritarian theocracy did not make Margaret Atwood an authoritarian theocrat.

Writing about adultery did not make Leo Tolstoy an adulterer.

Writing about a ghost did not make Toni Morrison a ghost.

Writing about a murderer did not make Fyodor Dostoevsky a murderer.

Writing about a teenage addict did not make Isabel Allende a teenage addict.

Writing about dragons and ice zombies did not make George R.R. Martin either of those things.

Writing about rich heiresses, socially awkward bachelors, and cougar widows did not make Jane Austen any of those things.

Writing about people who can control earthquakes did not make N.K. Jemisin able to control earthquakes.

Writing about your favorite characters and/or ships in situations that you choose does not make you a bad person.

It’s a shame that in this day and age these things need to be said.

[anothersebastianblog]

No offense an yes some of the fan sightings in nyc are from visitors. Other are from locals. Nyc fans are very active on Twitter

I have no doubt things declined recently but between more people hanging out in the places he goes to, fans that knows his usual places and non nyc fans that visit nyc with the hope of meeting him… indeed he is seen more there

—-

The people you are referencing to who “NYC fans” if it’s the same ones I follow, they are people who are temporarily living there or there for school or are visiting for a while and also trying to find him at the same time. I do not consider those New Yorkers. Those, to us, are still tourists. And they are stupidly creepy, and thankfully only a handful of them are even still around. But I don’t trust their non spotting at all. They’re just freaks.

But, please, people need to stop categorizing his nyc fans as the ones seaking him out because we don’t. And if we did see him we don’t acknowledge it. I know it sounds weird, especially in a fandom, but that’s New Yorker love right there. You wouldn’t get it until you are one. Trust me. ❤️

Like I said, the ones hanging out where he goes to are not the real New Yorkers and there aren’t many. Let’s stop with this he’s not in nyc because he hasn’t been spotted narrative because it is not reliable. It’s a 2020-2022 Deuxmoi-TFATWS era fans mentality.

About your last point, only reason I can think of for him being naturally spotted here in nyc more is actually by the occasional NON fan because here you walk more, you use public transportation, where in LA there isn’t much to do. It’s not a city like NYC. You drive. You stay inside buildings more. It’s just different.

He has a better chance of being spotted in NYC because chances of him walking around is greater and being seen by people, not because of “stalkers”. He has stalkers in every state and every country. LA fans run around Los Feliz constantly trying to find him, as well. They are the bad ones. But it’s harder because of what I said before. You drive there. You are in a house or building more.

If anything, real New Yorkers are the most respectable ones. Because we see and we go the other way. We don’t even approach or take photos. Don’t confuse fans who live in New York with fans who visit New York, are out of town for sometime, or the ocasional rando who happens to see him because he’s outdoor more.

But I will say again, I do think there’s been a misconception with how much he’s getting spotted now compared to during TFATWS era. He was more popular then among fan girls and with his Pam and Tommy stuff. His hype has died down a bit, and even if he were to be seen now I don’t think it would be as mentioned as it was during 2020-2022 when Deuxmoi also became more popular. Know what I mean?

I think his spottings has reverted slightly to when he was famous 2014-2019. Just because it’s only sometimes mentioned he’s seen somewhere it doesn’t mean he’s only been at those places, I think. That’s just my two cents on the full thing. Sorry about the rant by the way. We New Yorkers don’t like this misconception about us. It pisses us off.

LA fans and Atlanta fans are 1000000x more chance of stalkerish attitude and caring about chasing him down. Which is why I never understood the rooting for him to “lay low” there. There, people will find the house address and wait outside the house. The have NO shame. Tourists also have less interest to visit there than NYC. It’s a bit boring lol. It’s just talked about less.

Maybe you’re not from the US so hopefully this makes more sense. 😊

Posting this because it is long i guess it took you time writing it so i would feel bad not posting it. It’s more like a love letter to a city than a real reply to the topic we are discussing.

And yes, ny fans have a reputation and i am sorry about that. I love NYC and i love he considers himself a new yorker and has been living there since his first day in the us. That being said you guys should take it personal when people say fans in ny are able to spot him easily because the reasons are a lot, not just stalker behaviour! Of course not all of you are stalkers!!! But some people that visit ny/study there/lives there (i am sorry i will still consider the last two as a single category) knows his places, it’s a fact. And this added to the fact that you go by public transportation in more crowded places makes ny the place he is spotted more (indeed no spottings doesn’t mean he is not in ny, I didn’t know this had to be said!).

He is spotted in LA sometimes yes, when he goes to popular restaurants or museums etc and i am sure stalkish fans are everywhere, probably even in the smallest state ever. But he is spotted less because, thanks to how the city is, he can lay lower.

So don’t take this personally. As i said it’s a mixture of things.

Adding this other asks to my reply just to show another opinion because i have seen these tweets and i saw videos just less than two years ago of people chasing him, it’s nobody’s fault if it happens more in nyc, as you said, it’s more popular.

[supersanderman]

The Power Of Friendship (and D&D)

Well, you made it to act 3, and this is usually the part of the Shakespeare play where things start to get juicy. But here, I wanted to focus a little less on juicy things because in my story, I didn’t really change identities further, I just solidified my own. I always kept questioning sure, which is eventually how I became a demi-boy, but in this part of my tale I just found people I care about, and who care about me. It’s…THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

But seriously, having a circle of people I could trust was probably the most important thing in my journey. It’s no wonder that I don’t really talk to my first college friend circle, I could only really trust two of them. Living with them was an experience for sure. Lots of fighting, and lots of blame games over dishes and cleanliness. I guess we were all getting back into society after being locked in a metaphoric dungeon for a year and a half, but it was bad. Speaking of dungeons, part of what made me really bond with my current friend group was Dungeons…and Dragons. The tabletop roleplaying game was part of the reason I could somewhat survive the pandemic and is responsible for bringing me even closer to my current friend group. It’s the same group from my professional fraternity. It started with my big Mox and then as more people joined our family grew. Friends became my safety net and my support circle, the people I could count on. When I went through rough patches they helped me survive. When I hurt my back and needed to go to urgent care, I asked Mox to drive because I didn’t have anyone else I could trust. It’s cliche but the power of friendship is real. Now more than ever with the idea of found families, friends can sometimes be more like family than an actual family. I am lucky that I love my immediate family but one of my close friends has all but abandoned their family, and they rely on their friends. Especially in friend groups that are not all cis-het like mine, we bond over our shared experiences and are able to bounce off each other’s chaos. It is how my high school friend group stayed together. We can share things with each other that we wouldn’t to other groups, not even people we’ve known our whole lives. Trust is so special because it’s hard to gain and so easily broken, and the best, closest friendships are built on trust. My friend for a documentary I made put it plainly, you aren’t going to please everyone, so it’s better to have one or two close friends you can share the dirtiest crap with who will listen and support you rather than a large group that will turn away when you need them most. I almost needed the pandemic to determine who my real friends are, and I am so glad I know who I care about and who cares about me. 

Throughout my junior year, I slowly was able to come out of my shell and while I played a character in a tabletop, I bonded with them every meeting. We discussed fandoms and musicals. Existentialism and the joys of Rutgers. Every moment I spent with them made me feel like I was able to really be myself. And D&D provided joy and lasting memories for months to come. But like many things, D&D needs to be unpacked. Character creation is one of the key parts of D&D but one of the many issues is something known as fantasy racism. Certain races are seen as monstrous such as orcs and goblins and these fantasy creatures create a sort of fantasy racism. One bit of lore from the D&D rule book discusses how half-orcs try and prove their worth among more “civilized races.” Similarly to that is the idea of elves, who are rich and light-skinned being superior to other races. Other tabletop games have been criticized for different issues. The Cyberpunk 2077 video game, based on the tabletop of the same name was criticized for fetishizing trans women by having them be on in-game posters with grossly enlarged penises. While the game is only based on the tabletop, the issue still persists. 

However, role-playing games have always been praised for their ability for players to make a character and  be anyone. Now characters can be any race and any gender, and many traditional fantasy tropes about race and gender can be eliminated. In terms of any role-playing game, it is important to understand how real-world issues bleed into the game and how sometimes it is important to draw boundaries of what should be included in fictional games. Now thanks to games set in the real world like Vampire: The Masquerade, there are sheets for lines and veils, things players want to only reference and not include. This allows a way to avoid games that feature issues such as racism, sexism, and religion. Overall, these games can be loved and appreciated, but also challenged to avoid negative stereotypes, and real world injustices bleeding into the game.

[intermundia]

the kenobi show has given me so much Jedi content and I’m so glad, but also as someone who’s Jewish, it’s made me Incredibly Aware of exactly how many people in the fandom would fall for Nazi rhetoric - like when I see people saying “the Holocaust was bad” but then going “the Jedi deserved their fall” in the next breath, it doesn’t give me a lot of hope that people actually know why the Holocaust was bad, or that they’d be able to see through the propaganda if it occurred today

Absolutely, completely, and totally. The inability of many fans to correctly parse a narrative, to evaluate the credibility of information based on the person delivering it, and instead believing obvious, malicious propaganda because it satisfies their vicarious craving for power, listening and trusting the people wearing literal black cloaks and surrounded by stormtroopers, it is all depressing at best and deeply concerning at worst.

We share a fandom with people who argue with their whole chest that fascism is better than democracy, and that genocide was not only deserved, but also a net benefit for society at large, either ignoring or accepting without problem the blatant, shouted, real world antisemitic parallels. I don’t know if they are projecting their religious trauma from Christian institutions onto the Jedi, and so don’t see the antisemitism of reveling in their genocide, but that’s my most charitable explanation.

It’s so frustrating how they happily share and support Sidious’s version of reality, the view that was put into Anakin’s mouth on Mustafar to show how far he had fallen into evil, not to frame him as being right. They aren’t guided by compassion for innocent people, or maybe even aware of the history of very real atrocities, but it’s no excuse when it’s a sign of being incurious about the experience of others unlike yourself, and unconcerned with their suffering.

Watching Episode 5 and hearing Reva’s story about hiding among the bodies, my first thought when I was watching was about the 33,771 Jews killed at Babi Yar, and the survivor narratives, which included hiding among the dead. I think everyone needs to know about the very real, historical analogies to the things depicted on screen and understand why it is so important for us to agree about who are right and wrong about genocide, even in a fictional form.

I am not Jewish, but it matters to me a great deal to protect Jewish lives and to make sure it never happens again, both specifically to Jewish people and to other vulnerable minorities as well. Our stories should inspire us to be vigilant about the creep of fascism, not inspire us to argue in defense of fascists and enjoy their violence. Yes, it is just Star Wars, yet it is also much more than that. The stakes of all of this are actually indescribably high.

[ffn-archivists-corner]

Good news for ffn (and a goodbye?)

Hi, everyone! ^-^

There have finally been OFFICIAL updates on the fictionpress twitter! 🎉

(It seems they had various network/software/hardware problems and they had to deal with COVID too, so it’s understandable; they have listed also their intentions for the future months... included a graphic revamp of the site?)

This said, I want to thank every person who came forward to help. Yes, ffn is probably not going anywhere anytime soon (and in the future it may even do better than just trudge forward with just enough care to not sink according to the news, which it’s a bonus), but if one thing emerged from this it’s that the spirit of fandom, our love for it after all the bad things that happened in the past (the oldest among us survived more than one heart-breaking purge), is strong. And, IMO, it’s a heart-warming fact! ^-^

In addition, I have been recently contacted by a person (whose identity I won’t reveal to protect them and their activities) who wanted to reassure us from the anxiety of losing the fics we hold dear, that we have nothing to fear: even if the worst were to happen… it’s all saved. Not all heroes wear capes indeed.

(And they were quite amused by our well-meant attempts ^-^)

Obviously, for safety (*cough*legal*cough*) reasons, most of these preserving efforts (different from the archive.org ones) aren’t public and, even if we could access them, probably for most of us they would seem impossible to use because they’re designed for programmers. But the information is there. (And there is much information… TB range information XD that’s another reason why they can’t go around advertising it).

This concerns ffn & AO3, though. As far as the person was aware, there are no current projects for fictionpress though they mentioned that retrieving it won’t be difficult (time consuming, sure, but not difficult since it runs on ffn same software). Likewise, the forums are not something they have focused on… so, if you want to help maybe it’s in this direction that you should look into.

But some of you may ask, how could you know they’re really telling the truth?!? Well, since they offered me to have a copy of one of the projects (not for publicity distribution, even if I were to accept, sorry) to reassure the community, this means only two things: or they are the best actor and worst scammer of the year… or they are being honest (and considering how clear they answers to my questions were, I highly trust in the latter).

In addition,

So, in short:

we can rest easy, and put aside our hard disk, usb, gdrive and various and go back to read, draw, gif and write for our blorbos;

if you still want to do something, concentrate your efforts on the Forums;

having a copy of a fic for PERSONAL use is always a good idea (after all, you may never know when an author would remove their fics… so, hold dear to your favorites <3) and in the sidebar there’s a list of really good solutions to do it (FicHub, FicLab, FanFicFare…);

and lastly NO, you CANNOT post other people fics on AO3, not even if they haven’t update in a decade, so stop pestering other authors about it and don’t break AO3 TOS please ^-^

We can still keep the tradition of the annual ffn panic, though ;) I think it would be a nice idea to celebrate each year the anniversary of the death-not-death on ffn XD

Till next time ♡

P.S. this said, I won’t delete this blog… it has been a few crazy days, but they were nice ones (you are all lovely people) <3 Plus, it could still be useful for tips to download fics and I want to leave this post where people may find it and read it. Not to mention that I may unearth it if there will be different news in the future (or next year to celebrate the anniversary of another year of not-death of ffn) ;)

I may act as intermediary with that person, in case anyone has any questions, but I can’t guarantee you that I would be able to give the answer you were seeking. (And, in the next days, I still may add the last people who contacted me about the fandom they downloaded in the sidebar, just for completion’s sake and fairness, but that would be all.)