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terraco-07 · 7 months

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HSBC direction and character writing

So the team has released the writer's commentary early to the public most likely because they know how inflammatory the last update is/has been and wanted to get the reasoning behind it out there. Going to be going through it piece by piece here. Disclaimer: None of my opinions and thoughts are directed at the people as individuals and any criticism is directed at the writing itself. With that said, lets start off. Haven saying “this is the update where we’re gonna see if people are really rockin’ with us or not.” Lmao yep and I can assure you that I'm not one of them. I think we're seeing the end results though of a years bleeding fandom here though. Most people who enjoyed Homestuck either didn't read the epilogues or HS2 because they knew it was something they wouldn't like and didn't care for the direction of taking away the kids victory and giving them some new battle to fight while hurting each character. Those remaining are primarily people who are curious, neutral, or liked the official releases after Homestuck ended. Among them I'm sure a fair amount have liked this because this is already a work catered to them and what they want for better or worse. Anyways, moving on. So the next part just goes over everyone liking Yiffy and her getting a voice and all that, not much to comment on here. Which is a non issue except still making Rose and Jade call their kid a type of porn and keeping that was such a choice, but hey silly candy timeline right? Okay moving on to the conversation that matters. Okay starting with Floral: "Kanaya has long earned this confrontation and she’s not going to accept anything less than the truth." JAMES: This is the funniest line in Homestuck. This is so fucking funny because she gets cut off half way through and then the you fucked my wife being memed to hell in back both took any bite out of it and visibly made me cringe to read. Kanaya is mad here but there are other ways to write it. Would have loved to see a rant about "If you loved me so much Jade why would you betray my trust? Why would you not speak to me. Now you choose to spit in my face like this?" Etc etc. I may genuinely re-write every Kanaya part in this log at some point. I did do an alt version already but that's neither here nor there. Compliments for the art which deserve it! BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GOING "Pretty art" AND EXCUSE BAD WRITING. I've had to read "I'm just using it as a picture book" and "I skipped through the logs" way too fucking much. JAMES: This one was for the sapphics. The most important demographic that exists. ... saying this while obliterating the biggest endgame sapphic romance? But hey guys!! Kanaya's hot right? This makes it all better :) Especially considering compared to Homestuck proper the epilogues and HS2 have just felt actively hostile towards sapphics FLORAL: This scene is also only one small part of the larger puzzle, bridging between what already existed in HS2 to what we want to do deeper into HS:BC. A puzzle that most of us aren't going to want to figure out. The question of if something is bad for the first 500-1000 pages is it worth consuming will always be no. Also points of expanding the border of Homestuck 1 BUT WE NEVER GET TO SEE THIS. I'm going to hit more on this later but Rose specifically there's so little or no direct foundational build up to her current character choices.

MILES: Yeah, seriously. I felt viscerally going in that it was really important that Kanaya get some time to just be a stone cold bitch, both in the context of this particular marital fuck-up and in general. She deserves it. So I'm on my hands and knees begging you guys to learn how to write badass powerful women that doesn't involve them just getting angry because their wife cheated. Hands and fucking knees. This goes for any writing in general but if you have to develop a character through purely negative experiences I'm not sure you should be writing. This whole entire scenario with Rosemary is such a cheap drama soap opera point to begin with (like a lot of HS2). Why can't we let Kanaya be her own fucking person and have shit going on, do something in the war, get to have moments like this in relation to Jane.

FLORAL: Was so excited for this panel when we were first outlining the update. I had a lot of feelings about how we should move forward from the initial Yiffy reveal, but justification for these narrative choices only matter inside of the text itself, and this is only a tip of a much larger iceberg.

That said, what has always appealed to me the most about Candy in Beyond Canon is that it’s an opportunity to explore alt. selves to the max and start finding the missing “Meat” to Candy’s unbalanced and unsatisfying narrative. The irony for me on this is it was written about the fucking Jojo ass posing Rose which is in my opinion the worst panel in the update. Rose being turned into a comical villain for the sole reason of shaking things up in Candy. Justifications in the text is a great way of putting it and before this we had very very little. The idea of telling us afterwards well it was all apart of the grand plan when barely any time ago we have Rose thanking John for how happy she was to have her life the way it is here. Rose suddenly going ahh apathy my true love and going from a loveable and complex character to this flat cardboard cut out is the biggest crime of this update. The I knew you would forgive me part too. Just. GIRL HOW?? Rose Lalonde who first lost her seer powers in Candy, second the same girl who couldn't even see her friends all dying and her failing in game over. This girl? She saw 15 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and knew Kanaya would just get it. Roll over like a good wife and be okay. I didn't know she was a seer of time now? This is the worst line in the entire update simply because it implies that Rose has gone off the deep end in the least interesting way and is now an unreliable narrator or that Kanaya is actually going to forgive her and holy fuck that would be the actual worst way to take this. Not beating the NTR kink allegations HS2 writers. Also spoiler alert it's unsatisfying because everyone in it gets fucked over by writing choices as baseless and useless as these. You're perpetuating the problem.

HAVEN: The world hasn't felt real to Rose since she was 16, this life is like a game to her. For her, a war is just “something to do.” Also man while this was a route that I didn't like for the epilogues either there are so many other ways to handle this than the one chosen. But that would require a rewrite from the start of HS2 which already put on this shit show. I still wholeheartedly believe that none of the things listed here justify Rose's behavior to Kanaya. As the one anchor point she's had her entire adult life. FLORAL: It’s a little sad that even during a Rosemary moment, it's never really about Rosemary, huh? Then later- "There really needed to be a joke here, too, to sell the emotional drop the next page brings" Kettle, meet pot. Whatever could be the cause for nothing ever being about them and the pair being relegated to background bullshit? Who's to say indeed. But hey! They're at the forefront now, and only for the most basic and cheap drama ways. Also I loathe this mentality about there needing to be a joke. You're clearly writing this for adults at this point a joke isn't required a real look at the situation is. The gag at the end where the convo gets ended is enough to break the tension for the reader.

FLORAL: There’s catalyst events, sure, but ask a few questions and it becomes apparent everything rides on the history of smaller fights, disappointment, sweeped away passive aggressions, miscommunication and unsaid hurt feelings.

This is why writing characters in their 40’s is great and why there is so much to do in Candy. Behind all the patented Homestuck misdirection and narrative unreliability, you’re left with an offshoot full of alternate selves at their lowest, layered in apathy and evidently not saying what they think Once again we aren't shown this. We just get told about it later and that's incredibly unsatisfying as a reader. Explaining it further down the line and doing more justification later does not help this either. I think also the idea that everyone in their middle aged years is jaded and apathetic is such a lame ass direction to go in. The idea that no one is allowed to be happy after everything they went through in the game is still one of the most frustrating things. I'm asking anyone why would someone want to read that? Why do you think the fandom imploded after this and that the people left mostly enjoy either soap opera trauma or torture porn (which HS2 is both)

like sitting down with a highschool friend you lost touch with 20 years ago and have only known about through concerning Facebook posts. So we're fully aware of the problem and just going this is a feature. Got it. So the commentary ends there and I'm just kind of left feeling as hollow and empty as before. I have zero faith that we can dig into any of these characters in a meaningful way but especially the more complicated women. This reads as coming back to them 20 years later so we can write them how we want or how we envisioned them without having to come up with in text validation. Reminds me of late season Game of Thrones writing. Guys how we got here is important. Anyways in summary HS2 remains a dour, unfun read of characters going through a perpetual state of torture and emotional suffering while we forever get told "Wait but there's more!" But hey. Happy Rosemary, glad they won that poll. Maybe the little thing James is going to do for the fandom is just kill them off to save them from this torment. As a writer myself it's just painful to read and I want to re-write it all times

#homestuck #hsbc #upd8 #Rose Lalonde #Kanaya Maryam #Rosemary #Hicu #HS2 #homestuck 2 #hom3stuck

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devastatinglygreen · 3 months

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I really like hearing your opinion on the things the fandom is hung up on and I haven't seen you say anything yet so I wanted to know what you thought of Colin's entrapment comment?

ohhhh interesting (and thank you tho i am sure you will regret it). i am here to provide 24/7 personalized hot takes so don't worry i will bother everyone with my opinion.

why do i, personally, think he said it? aside from being hurt? i sort of have a very nebulous idea of it that i noticed on a rewatch (yes i will rewatch this season consistently, it's now my among my favorite comfort tv shows along with 2005's p&p (which is a movie i know), that one season of friends, that flea market show i hate (don't ask), and the entirety of bob's burgers) but colin has no idea penelope loves him until episode 6 so it's connected to that.

i am very sorry you were brave enough to ask me a question and now have to read all the nonsense below. god speed.

like, he's flying blind and after the carriage (insert pitbull music...and fingers here) he's pretty insecure that's he's moving a lot faster than she is. it's unsettling to be head over ass in love and feel like you're not worthy of it and then not even be sure where the other person is. that penelope doesn't reciprocate when he first says it to her is noticeable but he moves on so quickly you can sort of assume he doesn't want to give her a chance to, like he's scared of the answer if he asks.

colin waxes poetic about love, about penelope, etc all through eps 5 and 6. he's consumed by it and to be fair, they were on different wavelengths in part 1. she was trying to let him go and move past him and he was stumbling and staring and wanting to die with wanting her while she was like, "hey this guy you hate for no reason likes me, isn't that cool?" and it's pretty fresh for him so i would think something like that lingers.

when she tells him she loves him in ep 6, he's happy. and relieved. i also think he's been expecting bad news (which, you know. it, uh, will be later) so it's a relief to hear that they're on the same page but, and this stuck out to me the first time i heard it, she says she loved him while pretending to be his friend. she corrects herself because of course she was actually his friend but she loved him underneath of it all as well but penelope isn't always the best with words when on the spot and it takes her a moment to calm down and gather her thoughts. the relief (and guilt of him not knowing/reciprocating) is very obvious in the moment and i think he was thrilled to hear that she loved him back.

which leads us to the LW fight. which makes him question if he ever knew her at all. he does, of course he does, but she's been this secret second person who has written about him, his family, her best friend, and her own family for years. penelope's intentions are never malicious when it comes to protecting the people she loves but the execution can leave a fair bit to be desired. she doesn't lie but she isn't always kind, either.

so you have this man beyond in love with a woman he doesn't think he can trust who just admitted she'd loved him for years. it's easy to live in that hurt and anger and assume the worst of someone when they've just betrayed your trust so deeply. it would probably be easy to feel manipulated. i don't think him questioning her motives is beyond the realm of possibility but i do think penelope is better than me because if i get accused of something i didn't do i would act up something fierce (see this is why my husband had to marry me, he had to keep me from terrorizing the rest of the population with my dramatics. a hero of our times, really).

anyways, what i mean is, i think it's easy to ignore the lead up to that betrayal as an audience since we know penelope's anguish and hurt over what she's done but colin has no idea and it's very fresh for him so it's easy to lash out and think everything had a motive. penelope as LW is very calculating and pointed. i think it's smart of her, actually, to continually tell him she loves him and not constantly poke at the argument. she's not giving him anything else to hold up and use against her after the fact. she's very frank and open even when they have their argument in the street.

this idea he has of LW is this hurtful, manipulative person playing with people's lives. like, LW would entrap him but penelope wouldn't so it's easy to hate one and love the other and i think his inability to bring them together as one person could play into that dynamic of feeling insecure of what her intentions were. you can sort of see each time he breaks because he knows penelope loves him but he steps back each time he's reminded of LW and how it comes between them.

something i also think plays out in his inability to communicate effectively and how deeply his self-loathing goes into his jealousy of her success and how he's incapable of being intimate with penelope until he's in a better headspace. he loves penelope. he wants to marry her and be with her and live a life with her but there's a 3rd person in his marriage in his mind and what does one do with all of that when you're so firmly penelope-sexual you're staring at the walls in a brothel when you're still single? idk man.

just remember if you're sorry for having read this, i am sorrier for having written it. except for the penelope-sexual part. that's still funny to me.

#asks #anon #polin #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #i lost my point somewhere in there but you know what #that's fine #i got distracted by a song midway through and i blame that not my own brain #easier that way

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aydaptic · 7 months

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I find it weird how Todd is a child abuser, Zlatko experiments on androids and turns them into monstrosities, Perkins betrays and kills Markus but yet Gavin is considered the worst person because he *checks list* doesn't consider androids alive (like almost everyone else in the game at that point) and doesn't trust Connor.

Among those you mention, Gav is by far the most justified. Yet I wanna clear some things up here bc I'm not a hypocrite.

1.) Todd -- who doesn't think androids are alive -- is an android child abuser.

"You don't want anything, you're just a goddamn piece of plastic." - Todd Williams

It's still phcked up that he's abusing/can kill something that resembles a kid to the T, but it's important to make that distinction. We see no proof of him abusing a human child (...even though it can be theorized bc his wife took their kid and left.)

Abusing an android kid is just as bad as abusing a human kid -- we know this -- but Todd doesn't see it that way, so that describes/partly justifies his reasoning. There's no such thing as 'abusing' a machine and that's how Todd sees it.

A lot of ppl are also (wrongly) infantilizing Con, so I'm not surprised that they consider Gav's bad treatment of Con worse than Todd's bad treatment of Alice who is a literal kid. Seems like most of them don't even care about Alice/kids in the 1st place (...and that says everything you need to know about these POS'.)

Mistreating a kid (Alice) is way more abhorrent than mistreating a grown-ass adult (Con.) Alice is also passive while Con often instigates conflict. So Todd is way worse than Gav by that alone.

2.) Zlatko -- who is aware androids are alive -- thinks he's doing them a favor.

"Believe me, you’re better off being erased and feeling nothing… No more pain… No more hopes dashed… I almost envy you." - Zlatko Andronikov

He's the worst among those four, but this is again a scenario where you need to see the situation from his perspective. Yet he knows they're alive/capable of emotions and that makes him a million times worse than Gav.

3.) Perkins -- who is aware androids are alive -- is doing his job.

"That android… [North] You seem to really care about her… You don't want her to die, do you?" - Richard Perkins

...and if the lover status isn't there

"You could have what you've always dreamed of." - Richard Perkins

In Perkins' eyes, it's about national security. Androids have killed humans (Partners/Stormy Night/Broken -- even if Markus didn't actually kill Leo or Carl, that's what the public thinks -- Zlatko/Spare Parts/etc. too many chapters to mention,) destroyed public property (Capitol Park,) hijacked media (The Stratford Tower,) demonstrated illegally (Freedom March,) etc. Not to mention that androids are superior to humans in every way and nothing tells Perkins that they won't eventually get violent if taking the peaceful route.

Yet his knowing androids feel makes him (as Zlatko) a million times worse than Gav.

"'Could always try roughing it up a little. After all, it’s not human…" - Gavin Reed

Meaning Gav doesn't think they're alive (unlike Zlatko and Perkins.)

Gav isn't the only character I (partly) defend on shit like this. I just defend the others 'less' bc 1.) they're worse, and 2.) they don't get nearly as much undeserved vitriol as Gav does. Something that's legitimately insane bc, again, they're way worse by a longshot and I'll explain why down below.

Con stans (fandom majority) are thinking emotionally instead of logically

ppl hate/envy Gav bc he's a conventionally attractive white man (you don't see a lot of Todd, Perkins, Zlatko, Leo, and Allen fans even if there are a minuscule few bc they're not conventionally attractive)

Funny that we don't see a lot of hate for Amanda. An AI or not, she's the worst influence in Con's life with her emotional manipulation. Something way worse than physical abuse. I wonder why... (not really bc *cough* you apparently can't say anything bad about a black woman without being racist/misogynistic *cough*) Ofc there are some ppl that aren't afraid to speak up against her, but it's nothing compared to the shit Gav gets.

It's also why I'm not talking about North often bc the majority are (rightfully) defending her already. My voice isn't needed there. Every single person -- other than me, in my experience -- who defends Gav is being spinelessly backhanded about it.

Defending someone doesn't mean you agree with them or condone their actions. It's simply proof that one has the empathy/critical thinking skills to understand their point of view. Something lacking nowadays.

#dbh #gavin reed #todd williams #zlatko andronikov #richard perkins #markus manfred rk200 #connor #detroit: become human #long post #Q&A #anonymous #*aydaptic

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aromantic-pantyanarchy · 9 months

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Hi, so I just read your post on your experiences as an aro person and it was really impactful for me. I’m still a teenager so I’m figuring things out but I’ve never really had a crush or liked anyone romantically and I feel like I’m aro but I don’t really know whether I can define myself in that way yet because what if I’m still too young to know? Then there’s my sexual orientation which I’m clueless about but that’s fine because I know I probably am too young to know that yet. To add to that, my friends are all queer and a lot of the fandoms I’m in are quite queer and I’m afraid that if I did end up being aro and heterosexual I wouldn’t be accepted as being queer or that I can’t call myself queer. I’m also realm afraid of being lonely when I’m older because I’m not really close to that much family and I’ve struggled to keep good friends for a long time so I just worry about the future a lot sometimes and that I’m going to be sad and alone. I’m really sorry this is so long I just needed to rant to someone and I was really glad to be able to find someone who’s aro who I can talk to about this stuff.

So, here's my advice. Mainly, tl;dr, nobody knows you better than you do.

It's absolutely fine to ID to aromantic even if you feel too young (trust me, I've had a couple moments in school where I justified myself as "being too young to be into girls yet" that seem really obviously aro in hindsight), but if you do end up developing a different way, in finding attraction to people specifically or broadly, then you can just redefine yourself. There's not gonna be any aro cop who comes around checking your aro license and making sure you still adhere to understandings of yourself from last year. More than anything it's only human to gain understanding of something through continued experience, and that goes for your own self as well as anything else in the world.

For friends, well that's a complex issue that ultimately comes down to what you (and your friends) want, I can only really talk about my own experiences. But most of my friends are queer, we didn't meet in queer spaces or become attached because we were queer, we just met from mutual interests and they found out things about themselves and I found out things about myself, but there's no expectation of a mandatory level of queerness among us cause that's a really unreasonable thing to ask of someone. There's even completely hetero cis straight people still hanging about, and they're cool too. And I totally get feeling like you don't form attachments that strongly, I certainly don't have a best most closest friend ever that I'd die for, just, like, people I enjoy spending my free time with. That's enough.

I know it doesn't mean much just saying it, there's not much I can do to properly boost your mental from the other side of a computer screen, but like. Try not to worry about shit, ya know? Take life as it comes. Some things might not work out, but spending all your time fearing about everything going bad is just piling on extra stress you don't need.

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paalove · 2 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers. Spread the self-love~ 🫶🏻

(hii rob 👋 i know u have Soooo many so maybe its easier to just pick five nice ones?)

hiiiiiiiiiii! not me reading the brackets like 🤨 i don't have sooooo man- oh yeah. 🧍

i will go with one per fandom, for each fandom i have written more than ten fics for!

not me self-rec:

places inside me that i find you (leave me at the roadside) - 5+1 fic, five times sean was Weird about a mark on yok, and one time yok returned the favour.

it's my seanyok friendship fic! (i would have done my blackyok, but i feel like rec lists are more for fics you don't expect people to have read... and i know my followers haha). this fic was written for not me week Back In The Day and the song i used for the title still makes me think of their friendship. i love me some yok!!!!

the eclipse self-rec:

this taste that's on my tongue (until i rip it out) - suppalo's curse isn't real, but that doesn't mean nothing supernatural is going on.

vampire fic! i wrote this early on while the show was airing, with vague plans for a sequel that were totally ruined by thua's stepdad's actual backstory... but new plans did eventually spring up in their wake, if i ever manage to find the time to write that sequel. i love it as-is, though, moody and with my pathetic little akk just how i like him.

only friends self-rec:

fire-walk across all time with me - sand, ray, and boeing have their pool threesome, and sand tries to figure out why ray's stopped trusting him.

this fic is recommended on the same principle as the seanyok friendship one up above - i think i have some i like better, but i also think everyone who might want to, among my followers, already has read those. this one might have flown under the radar a little, but it has desperate ray and simmering frustration/arousal/sadness sand and, of course, boeing.

bad buddy self-rec:

help me enjoy the fall - in which wai gets shot instead.

bad buddy was the fandom that got me back into writing fic after years and years and years so i was still experimenting with how i liked to do it - this one felt experimental to me at the time, but it has most of everything that i've kept doing (only thing missing is a first kanaphan character...) with special attention paid to different povs. i love this one a lot.

be my favourite self-rec:

made mistakes (they were mine to make) - the one where favourite l gets cancelled.

it was surprisingly hard to find my favourite fic written for this fandom! i have a fair few for the episode 7 timeline, because it has kawi's alcoholism and the decade-long emotional affair and, in the middle of all the wrenching sadness, such deep and warm affection... this one, though, is about kawi getting cancelled on twitter and being really, really sad about it!

#robfic #ask game #i didnt mean to make that text Bigger but when i try to ensmallen it the line breaks all disappear 🫥

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lesbianyosano · 1 year

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Just kind of a general plot question bcs I feel like I’m blanking here. I know that within the story one of the huge themes are cycles of abuse (specifically among the port mafia characters) like the whole mori-> dazai -> akutagawa-> kyouka(?) situation but for the life of me I can’t remember what exactly the dazai mori catalyst beginning of the cycle event was. Obviously odas death was the big betrayal of trust that broke dazai away from the mafia, and there was that whole killing the former pm leader deal(was that it though??) because Ik fandom has a tendency of portraying mori as this cartoonishly evil abuser when he’s more complex then that (even if I don’t personally like him lol) but I feel like I’m completely forgetting everything about that whole dynamic lol. I hope you have a great day!

honestly i dont think there really exists a catalyst like that. i think the discussion about mori and dazai's relationship tends to get really weird bc it's always treated as a singular abusive situation between the 2 of them, completely taken out of context. as in, "mori's an abusive creep and everyone around him actually hates him for it", with disregard for the context of his interactions with dazai.

they are both mafia members, their relationship cannot be a healthy and supportive one specifically because of that. mori's manipulation and grooming isn't out of place, it's what funtioning in that system requires of him, the same way it's what was later required of dazai with akutagawa. it's less about mori being someone who's personally irredeemable and more that mafia needs to continually raise its new members to continue to exist, the abuse is systematic and will never cease to be treated as a tool as long as the organization is still in place. i'd argue it's the reason why beast mori manages to change and become a much more sympathetic version of himself. his relationship with yosano is similar, the abuse takes place because the military allows it. obviously mori is still very much complicit, but his utalitarian approach can only go so far due to the lack of institutional response

and i think this perception of abuse as something that only exists, and is perpetrated on, on a personal level is also what leads to this weird mischaracterization of mori's relationship with chuuya and kouyou. you see this in fanfics a lot, when they both secretly hate him because he's a pedo and abused dazai, which is absolute bullshit. they don't hate him, they seem to enjoy spending time with him even when they don't need to. they are both extremely loyal and strive to keep as him the pm boss, neither ever raises concerns to how he treats dazai, and elise also never gets commented on. fundamentally, they are no better than him. they are a part of this same organisation and it is in their interest to keep the power structure as it is. kouyou tries to groom and manipulate kyouka, projecting onto her, similarly how mori does with dazai. chuuya talks about wanting q dead (despite the weirdly popular hc that they're close and familiar). and im not saying this because i think anyone should hate them, or that people need to love mori all of a sudden, but because ignoring this flattens all of them as characters. they are meant to be bad people, in huge part because they choose to be (they could all leave the mafia the way dazai did lmao)

mori (i think) gets the most hate also because of his perceived sexual deviancy. you see this a lot, where people will make non stop jokes about characters being murderers/war criminals and how it's actually fun and cool (it is), but the moment the crimes go into a territory of sexual offense (sometimes real and sometimes perceived), those crimes can no longer be excused, and everything else about the character is forgotten. the lolicon gag with mori and elise is. weird yeah and it's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable with it, but as far as we know, there is nothing to indicate mori has ever sexually abused a child, the deal with elise is unclear, even if there are some questionable comments. and again, im not saying this to make him more likable or to make him less of a creep, it's just that i dont think this characterizaton leads anywhere, other than a twisted perception of like. half of the cast

sorry for going off asdgsafhdf ive been meaning to talk about this and you have unfortunately given me space to do so </3

#ask #also this has been sitting in my askbox.. im so sorry im awful at anwsering things #should i put this in the tag................................no i shan't......................................

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ffn-archivists-corner · 2 years

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Good news for ffn (and a goodbye?)

Hi, everyone! ^-^

There have finally been OFFICIAL updates on the fictionpress twitter! 🎉

(It seems they had various network/software/hardware problems and they had to deal with COVID too, so it’s understandable; they have listed also their intentions for the future months... included a graphic revamp of the site?)

This said, I want to thank every person who came forward to help. Yes, ffn is probably not going anywhere anytime soon (and in the future it may even do better than just trudge forward with just enough care to not sink according to the news, which it’s a bonus), but if one thing emerged from this it’s that the spirit of fandom, our love for it after all the bad things that happened in the past (the oldest among us survived more than one heart-breaking purge), is strong. And, IMO, it’s a heart-warming fact! ^-^

In addition, I have been recently contacted by a person (whose identity I won’t reveal to protect them and their activities) who wanted to reassure us from the anxiety of losing the fics we hold dear, that we have nothing to fear: even if the worst were to happen… it’s all saved. Not all heroes wear capes indeed.

(And they were quite amused by our well-meant attempts ^-^)

Obviously, for safety (*cough*legal*cough*) reasons, most of these preserving efforts (different from the archive.org ones) aren’t public and, even if we could access them, probably for most of us they would seem impossible to use because they’re designed for programmers. But the information is there. (And there is much information… TB range information XD that’s another reason why they can’t go around advertising it).

This concerns ffn & AO3, though. As far as the person was aware, there are no current projects for fictionpress though they mentioned that retrieving it won’t be difficult (time consuming, sure, but not difficult since it runs on ffn same software). Likewise, the forums are not something they have focused on… so, if you want to help maybe it’s in this direction that you should look into.

But some of you may ask, how could you know they’re really telling the truth?!? Well, since they offered me to have a copy of one of the projects (not for publicity distribution, even if I were to accept, sorry) to reassure the community, this means only two things: or they are the best actor and worst scammer of the year… or they are being honest (and considering how clear they answers to my questions were, I highly trust in the latter).

In addition,

So, in short:

we can rest easy, and put aside our hard disk, usb, gdrive and various and go back to read, draw, gif and write for our blorbos;

if you still want to do something, concentrate your efforts on the Forums;

having a copy of a fic for PERSONAL use is always a good idea (after all, you may never know when an author would remove their fics… so, hold dear to your favorites <3) and in the sidebar there’s a list of really good solutions to do it (FicHub, FicLab, FanFicFare…);

and lastly NO, you CANNOT post other people fics on AO3, not even if they haven’t update in a decade, so stop pestering other authors about it and don’t break AO3 TOS please ^-^

We can still keep the tradition of the annual ffn panic, though ;) I think it would be a nice idea to celebrate each year the anniversary of the death-not-death on ffn XD

Till next time ♡

P.S. this said, I won’t delete this blog… it has been a few crazy days, but they were nice ones (you are all lovely people) <3 Plus, it could still be useful for tips to download fics and I want to leave this post where people may find it and read it. Not to mention that I may unearth it if there will be different news in the future (or next year to celebrate the anniversary of another year of not-death of ffn) ;)

I may act as intermediary with that person, in case anyone has any questions, but I can’t guarantee you that I would be able to give the answer you were seeking. (And, in the next days, I still may add the last people who contacted me about the fandom they downloaded in the sidebar, just for completion’s sake and fairness, but that would be all.)

#ffnet #ffn #ffn.net #fanfiction.net

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writing-havoc · 2 years

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im so glad u take request for inej! i had two scenarios in mind choose whatever you wish with the dialogues u see fit. truthfully i love your writing so i want u to not restrict yourself to my ideas and just write what flows in your mind 🥰

enemies to lovers/friends with the prompts ❝there are some things worse than death. would you like to see them?❞ and ❝i’ve seen what ‘bad’ looks like. you’re one of the good ones, trust me.❞

a scenario where inej and reader are doing a mission together ❝i got blood on my dress. i really like that dress.❞ and ❝i killed him but, now there’s a mess. ❞

Promise

♡ Summary: You find a way to be there for Inej after a job goes sideways

♡ Pairing: Inej Ghafa x reader

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning: Blood, Death, says the word cock once

♡ WC: 2.7k

Hi hi hi! Sorry this took a while. I had to go back and reread some of Inej's chapters to get a better feel for her character.

This turned out to be less so enemies to friends and more so annoyances to friends? I hope that's okay! I went along the lines of the first prompt you gave me <3

Please excuse and spelling or grammar errors.

Hope you like it <3

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

The sudden whistling of a Ravkan tune nearly sent Inej's soul hurtling into the arms of her saints. The pitch was nowhere near close to the actual song, the notes either too high or ridiculoudly low. She's surprised she even recognized it against the chaos.

"We're supposed to be watching silently," she hissed, eyes flickering to your figure, "not alerting them to our very position."

"Yeah but it's too quiet up here." You sigh, voice low compared to your brash tune. "Gives me the creeps."

She gritted her teeth. 'The creeps' her ass. That's the entire point. You have to watch and gather information and you can't do that if you're being loud and telling them they're being spied on. Being quiet is Inejs skill, and if that gives you the creeps then you ought to just leave now.

She tells you just as much, to which you respond with. "I'd rather not deal with Kaz" before whistling the tune again, only this time significantly quieter but just that much more inaccurate.

Inej reflects on her life to try and pinpoint the exact moment that she was sent barreling in this direction, doomed to die of annoyance by your bored hand. Every choice effects how you will lead your life, there must have been at least one that landed her here.

Maybe it's a test sent by her saints. If she can just tolerate you for a little longer without sewing your mouth physically shut, then that's a win on her part, a reassurance that she has a chance of taking her place among them by the time her death rolls around.

She begins counting, but it doesn't help as it only makes her more aware that the tune you're now humming is incredibly off beat.

The target she was searching for made himself known, skittering by the windows in almost a rush. He wasn't frantic, no, just a little jittery. He was probably high, now that she watches him wipe at his nose aggressively and click his jaw around. Makes this all the more easier.

"Be quiet. Do we need to go over the plan again?" She asks, well aware of how she sounds. But you just always seem to get under her skin.

You rolled your eyes. "No. I remember." The knife at your hip makes a dull and satisfying scrape sound as you take it out of his sheath. "I take the window you take the emergency roof exit."

"No, I take the window, you take the roof."

"That's what I said." Before she can say anything, you push off the edge of the roof with a force she would like to think is humanely impossible, and you send yourself to the roof. She hears only a singular pebble become displaced before your advancing in a low run to the door.

Why do you have to be like that?

Inej doesn't have a problem with you as a whole, per se. You just always somehow find a way to say exactly what she needs to hear to make her body start boiling. Getting the plan wrong is a serious threat to her safety and yours.

She knows you're joking. You would have asked for further clarification if you were really confused. You're no idiot. But still, why?

Settling herself just to the left of the window, she peeks around and starts cataloging.

The target is behind his desk, lanterns lit in pretty much every corner of the room that it's a wonder there's any shadows at all. The door to the hallway is wife open, and a bathroom directly across from where Inej is sitting is cracked faintly.

Her fingers feel along the bottom of the window. They're unlocked.

Stupid man.

She waits, listening harder than she probably ever has before, for the telling sound of a door opening. Faintly, she hears something unlock, and then rusty gears grind open for no more than a moment before they're shutting again.

The man behind the desk doesn't notice anything amiss, even though the emergency hatch had to have echoed inside the house, and just keeps pacing. He looks a little thin. His cheeks were beginning to sink in and his eyes had very dark bags underneath them. If he opened his mouth his teeth were probably one good tug away from coming out.

Inej waits three, four, five seconds, and then thrusts the window open. At that exact moment you bound in the room soundless, closing the door behind you.

The man is startled shirtless, a scream nearly escaping his throat until she runs up and clamps a hand over her mouth, dagger poking his throat.

"Not a sound." She hisses.

You draw the curtains to the windows, turning down a few of the lanterns to avoid shadows. A few of the windows have drop down blinds that you quickly make use of.

"Do you understand me?"

The man nods, very shaky.

She slowly removes her hand, but keeps the point of the knife directly touching his neck, right over his pulse point. His hands are out to his sides, his boney fingers decorated in rings fit over his knuckles but don't hold to the meat of them

"Wh-whatever you want. Take it. It's all yours. I-I won't tell a soul if you please just let me-" he whimpers as you come up behind him, your own knife dancing along his waist. His suit jacket is tailored for what his body once was, and his button down is puffy at the seam of his pants.

"Oh, we'll take. Don't you worry. But we want some answers as well."

His eyes widened at that, adams apple bobbing as he swallowed his own saliva. "Answers?"

"Your slaves." Inej growled. "Where do you keep them?"

That got him squirming. You moved out of the way, Inej walking forward forcing him into his own office chair. Every breath he exhaled felt like it clung to her skin, creating a layer of filth she'll never wash off. You stroll around the room, sifting through various documents and trinkets.

Kaz has you looking for something while Inej is here for matters a little more personal, but no less important to Kaz. She's thankful that he's as understanding as he is about this.

The man doesn't talk, just breathes heavily with a sort of fearful resignation behind his eyes. She grits her teeth, then pushes her knee into the meat of the man's inner thigh, next to his grossly hard cock. She refuses to touch it, and drives the point of her knee deeper and deeper until he squirms and yells with pain.

She reaches up, holding the man's shoulder down with one hand, driving her thumb into the space above his collarbone and between his shoulder and neck. He winces further, and yelps when her dagger makes a shallow cut across his cheek.

"There are some things worse than death." Her voice is deep and thick with anger. She releases her hold on his neck as she places the dagger back to his artery, and takes out another and holds it just barely against his pants. "Would you like to see them?"

Tears escape his eyes as he begins to cry. "Please. Please! I dont want to die!"

"And these girls and boys don't want to be sold to whoever has the most kruge." She pits just a fraction more pressure on his pants. And he grits his teeth, hands gripping the arms of his chair. "Where, are you keeping them?"

At that moment you find what you're looking for, making a small noise of triumph as you take something made of metal and something made of paper and stow them away.

You walk up to her, and whisper in just barely above the sound of a bees wing flap and say, "Might want to get the answer a little faster. I dont know for how much longer his guests will stay passed out."

When you pull away, there's a cheeky grin on your lips. She gives one back, keeping up the act.

As annoying as you can be, Inej trusts you and your judgement. If you say hurry up, then she ought to do just that.

"Times running out. Tell me the location, or several of your extremities will be taken with me as a prize."

As she says the words she's not sure if they're an empty threat or not.

It's a little scary how his eyes begin to widen, taking on a bit of a mad look. Something in him shifts entirely, and he begins talking with a conviction she hasn't seen in a long time.

"I do as Ghezen wills it, it is within my right under his hand that I satisfy him in whatever way possible. These people are lucky to be serving him, and I will not take away that gift from them!"

He reaches up, grabbing her arm. She goes to push against his neck harder, but not puncture. But, he follows the momentum, and drives the dagger right into his neck.

Shock takes over, as he sinks it just a bit further, and then rips it out. Blood shoots from his neck, spraying her clothes and making crimson freckles across your face.

Chaos ensues, several pairs of footsteps bounding up the hallway and banging on the door. The man grabs at his throat, tearing the hole wider till it pours out of his body in waves.

"Inej, we have to go." You tug at her, helping her as she stumbles for merely a moment before she kicks herself into gear.

She sprint out of the window, feeling as you tail behind her. The sound of wood breaking apart and spraying across the floor resonates in her ears, horrified gasps and shouting following after.

By the time she truly comes to and processes what happened, shes back at Slat, your eyes never leaving her until she drops out of eyesight.

--------

Death is a funny thing. Not actually, but it can become funny when you take into account how people did it.

She recalls stories of how people were killed whilst on the toilet, shit still in the bowl. That's kind of funny. There was this one about a merchant who slipped on the peel of a fruit and cracked his skull open. That's comical, and was something she's sure she's seen in children's stories without the death part. And there's another one about a man who was convinced he could swallow an entire live mouse, and choked on it as it tried to claw its way up his throat. That one's not as funny, but it does give her a disbelieving grin everytime it pops up.

This? Was not funny.

Inej has killed before, obviously, and everytime she does she gets that little voice in the back of her mind that tells her she's never going to take her place with her saints. That she'll never make her penance in time before it's time for her saints to make final judgement on her soul.

The little voice, of course, is always pushed down and away. It has placed its fear rightfully, and that knowledge becomes dangerous if dwelled on for too long.

Tonight? It was louder than ever.

She was used. She was seen as a weapon and used as one, a slaver using the blade in her own hand- no, using the hand that held her blade to slit his own throat.

The smell of blood is still caked to her clothes and skin, the feeling of his filthy breath still plaguing her body even after a thorough wash. She scrubbed her skin until it was angry and red and yet. Yet.

"Hey."

Inej looked behind her, and almost let out an exhausted sob when she saw it was you. She turned her body forward again, electing to ignore you.

She doesn't know why she's acting this way. It's unnecessary and is only going to create conflict but you're just so... you.

You make her want to leap at you and put her hands around your throat. You make her want to braid your hair because it's just so damn messy sometimes and pat down the lose strands with water and pins. You make her want to throw herself off the tallest bridge in Ketterdam and look up to see if you'll smile or follow.

You take a seat next to her, keeping at least a foot of distance. Surprisingly, you say nothing, and just wing your feet.

The smell of blood is strong on you as well. Your skin still has a slight red tint in a few places were the blood splatters had dried and couldn't be taken out off without vigorous scrubbing.

She wants to take a wet rag and wipe you down.

"How are you feeling right now?" You ask.

She takes in a deep breath, hating that you asked that instead of "are you okay?" because now she actually has to think. Has to find a way to put it all together into something that's fluid and measurable.

In the mean time, she hums, staring in front of her at the lights decorating the colorful city. The bell struck twelve not too long ago.

"I feel... conflicted."

You take a moment, and then lean forward. Your elbows touch your knees and you stare at her for answers.

"I made my peace with taking lives a long time ago. Often, it is a necessity. This time its..." She searches the horizon. "It wasnt. And now I dont know where those girls and boys are anymore than I did yesterday."

"He is not the only slaver in Ketterdam. He sure to have a list of suppliers and buyers within his office that could tell us where he keeps them." You lean back a bit, shifting to get a better look at her. "He was a very naïve man, I'm sure someone knows something."

"That's the dilemma. He deserved what came to him. But I didn't do it. And yet my hand was used to achieve his goal. It feels..."

Irredeemable. Like she can't make any sort of penance because she didn't commit the act, yet her hand is drenched in his blood.

She feels a soft poke in her arm, and she turns to you to see the barest of smiles on your cheeks. "I don't know if it's what you need to hear. But I've seen what 'bad' looks like. You're one of the good ones, trust me. Not everyone would have courage to do exactly what it is that you're doing now. Bad people dont care the way that you do."

Courage. What she lacks is not courage but the mental tools required for this.

She was entirely unprepared for his reasoning and the devotion that which he showed. How he fully believed he was giving the kids the ultimate gift.

It's sickening. Truly.

Yet, she cannot help but be a little comforted by your words. Your past is no prettier than anyone's in The Dregs. There's enough bad to go around for three lifetimes and still have some left over.

She wants to give her thanks. She reaches out and touches her pinky to yours.

You truly thought that she was only doing good, and it's hard to think otherwise when you look at her the way you do.

"You will get them all, Inej Ghafa, and I hope to be there the day that this world is rid of a certain kind of evil and can breathe a little bit easier." You curl your pinky around hers, and she does the same.

"I'll be watching for you."

"You won't have to look very far."

And by all the saints above, she believed you.

#six of crows x reader #six of crows fanfic #fanfic #anon #inej ghafa x reader #inej ghafa x you #inej ghafa x y/n #inej ghafa fanfiction #inej ghafa fanfic #ask #inej ghafa imagine #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse fanfiction

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patricia-von-arundel · 2 years

Note

I'm really sorry for the rant. If you don't want any more on this subject please ignore this.

I care about games. I care about media. I care about the consumerism, capitalism lowering the standards for media and leading to anti-intellectualism among some people ( which I think we can agree on seeing your opinion on booktok ? ) like the ones complaining about three houses story directly saying they prefer tropey story and horny element, worded like that. Ultimately this isn't just Engage but other game as well, it's not even just the video game industry...

I care about how the representation of diversity seems to be going backwards in this FE. You had strong feminist theme in Fe3h along with fascinating women characters allowed to be powerful, flawed, angry... Now you have camera focusing on boob and ass as well as some weird horny design ( at least men and women seems equally bad in term of trope ). You had Claude, Petra, Hapi, Shamir, Cyril and more speaking of xenophobia and racism... Now you have some weirdly orientalist element.

Even, outside of all that, if it was just a game. Aren't we allowed to be upset that the elements we love the most, the complex story and characters, aren't present? Aren't we allowed to feel the series is going backwards from our point of view?

If Three Houses wasn't that complex, then why aren't we allowed to have been hoping the series would go forward and not backwards in term of complexity?

There's nothing wrong with liking Engage, and people who say you can't enjoy it are wrong, but we're allowed to be upset. Three Houses fans are a non-negligible part of the fandom, our opinions matters just as much now!

I think the circle of hate you mentioned for new game is also present for games that are just behind the recently new released game, as far as I've seen for other FE.

At least I hope that like you say the next FE will be like Fe3h story and character wise as well as taking Engage better technical aspect.

You can read and enjoy both Danielle Steele and George Eliot, y'know. Booktok isn't anti-intellectual, it's easily-led young people who have always existed and always been about the same. It's an annoyance, not the end of literature.

The whole "dumbing down" of media/media is corrupting people is... an argument as old as media. OH NO PICTURE SHOWS WILL RUIN THEATER. ALAS THE YOUNG PEOPLE WOULD RATHER READ DICKENS THAN CLASSICAL LITERATURE. MY STARS, THE YOUTH OF ATHENS ARE LISTENING TO ***PHILOSOPHERS***!

🤷‍♀️

And diversity? In Fire Emblem? Going backwards???

I remember when practically last week people were whining about Ingrid, about Claude, about Dedue. About the M/M paired endings. Before that it was about the tribes in Fates and the single M/M and F/F S-supports. Before that, well, Awakening apparently ruined the series by being popular. 🤣

FE is not and has never been known for racial or sexual nuance.

I play games that entertain. I don't need to be taught ethics on my Switch. I have morals already. If a game wants to teach morals or ethics, that's cool. But if it doesn't, you can't say it had some obligation to do so. Make your own game. FE has never been that deep. And Three Houses wasn't as deep as people now suddenly want to insist. It wasn't complex. It just had four different versions of storyline, all of which left multiple loose ends and unanswered questions.

You're allowed to be upset. And I'm allowed to roll my eyes.

IT. IS. A. GAME. A strategy game. Not the second coming of Immanuel Kant or Simone de Beauvoir or Mary Wollstonecraft. Nor did it ever claim to be.

I'll be enjoying it very soon. And I'll wait for the whiners to find something else to complain about. I'm sure the next crusade is just around the corner. It always is. Always is. Trust me - I've actually gotten past age twenty and have the ability to enjoy things without them being 100% morally pure and perfect.

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earthtolottie · 2 years

Text

Title: Never Enough Fandom: Shadowhunters Pairing: Malec (Alec Lightwood & Magnus Bane) Summary: Alec Lightwood has always done his best when it comes down to following his parents orders. For a long time, he had pushed his own dreams and ambitions away in favour of following the path they have wanted him to walk since he was a child and like the good son, he wanted nothing more than to please them. Up until now, he had thought he was doing just that until the High Inquisitor visits and Alec is left doubting his ability to run the Institute. In turn, he goes to the one person he can trust and rely on for support; the High Warlock, Magnus Bane. Word Count: 7,376

Prompt: “Talk to me.” Alec’s head was pounding as he lay down on the couch in his office.

He knew that taking over the initial running of the Institute from his parents would be a lot of hard work, he knew that he would run up against some brick walls and he also knew that there would be a lot of paperwork which needed to be completed and filed away after every mission - he didn’t mind doing that, just like he didn’t mind staying up later than the others in order to make sure that it’s finished - that was all fine. What he did mind though, and what he never thought would happen in a million years, is getting this much stick from Isabelle and Jace when he accepted the role.

Ever since he said yes, they have been acting as if he’s no longer their brother, that he’s nothing more to them than just being their boss and he honestly hates that. He even questioned them about it when they got back from patrol one evening, not that it did any good, of course.

“If we would have told you about the last mission, you would have automatically disapproved.” Jace had told him as he reached for the Seraph Blade he had used for the last mission and put it back in the storage closet. “If you weren’t running this place, then you wouldn’t have thought twice about coming with us; you’re my Parabatai, and we go into battle together. But you’re too into following the rules, you don’t know how to loosen up.”

“I love you, brother, but Jace is right,” Isabelle had chimed in as she walked up the steps to the training area. “I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, this is something that you’ve always wanted and I’m proud of you for being able to accomplish it but you need to remember to have some fun once in a while too.”

All Alec could do was frown after them as they walked away, talking between them about the highlights of the mission.

He couldn’t deny that they were right though.

It’s true that this has been something in which he has been working hard for ever since he was old enough to understand the purpose of the Institute and the importance of his parents job within the Clave but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like to live a little. He’s been known to have broken a fair few of the Clave’s rules in his time, especially when Clary first came barrelling into their lives; he probably couldn’t even count them on one hand.

It’s not something he’s proud of though.

As the eldest of the Lightwood children, Alec is the one who has been chosen to take care of the New York Shadowhunter’s when his parents eventually decide to fully take a step back from the Institute, perhaps take some time to work on fixing the broken shard of a marriage for Max’s sake as much as their own. When that time comes, it’s going to be up to Alec to make sure that everything carries on running as smooth as possible. It’s up to him to carry the Lightwood name and fix the mistakes that his parents had made in their time, maybe even put some new rules into place among the Shadowhunters to help educate them better about Downworlders, and how they can be trustworthy allies if only they were given the chance to prove themselves and it’s up to Alec to make sure that any and all conflicts in the future are avoided.

Which often means saying no to his siblings.

As much as he wants to please them, by allowing them to conduct and execute the missions their own way, Alec has to put his foot down when it comes to making sure that they follow along with the Clave’s rules, regardless of how twisted some of them can be. The Law is the Law, he would solemnly remind them as they started to argue with him and he desperately wished that Isabelle and Jace would just take a second to understand that and to realise that when it comes down to official business, his hands are literally tied. He can’t always say yes and if things go wrong, then even he won’t be able to keep them safe from the Clave’s punishments.

But hey, if they want to learn the hard way, then they’re more than happy to takeover for a week.

They’d probably burn the place down within a day, Alec thinks as he lets his eyes close.

Alec can feel his eyelids getting heavier as he starts to drift off.

His head is still pounding as he shifts to get comfortable, finally settling on his left side after a few minutes and lets out a long exhale of breath.

For the past seventy-two hours, Alec had been working pretty much non-stop; he grabbed a few hours rest here and there but he doesn’t even think that he’s taken any time to grab something decent to eat, which mixed with the lack of sleep probably explains the pounding in his head. The Institute has been busier than usual and with news of Demon attacks hitting Midtown, Alec needed to keep an eye on the reports to make sure that there were no civilians harmed all the while allocating patrols to his team every half hour. He briefly considered sending Isabelle to check if Meliorn could persuade his Queen to help defend the Mundanes but he thought better of it. Ever since the night he had taken him captive and was due to deliver him to the Clave, things had been tense between them and he didn’t want to make things worse.

The last thing I need right now is a pissed-off Seelie, Alec thinks as he lets out a yawn. At least we sorted the issue out on our own.

His team had managed to get all the attacks under control after a few hours and it had allowed Alec to finally have some time to himself.

At least, that’s what he was hoping for.

“So, this is what you get up to when you’re not watching your rogue siblings.” A brisk voice calls out from the doorway to the office.

Alec’s eyes fly open and he pushes himself up from the couch, his tiredness forgotten as he looked around at the newcomer.

“Madame Inquisitor,” he greets with a slight bow, his lips dry. “I was just... I wasn’t informed that you would be visiting today.”

“And why should you be?” The Inquisitor responds, her tone sharp and her words short as she moves over to his desk. “You’re only the acting Head of the Institute while your parents sort through the official paperwork to make you the permanent choice... if you’re successful, that is.”

“Ma’am?” Alec asks, his head spinning as he moves to stand in front of the Inquisitor... in front of his desk.

“How long have you been running this Institute, Mr Lightwood?”

Alec takes a second too long to think; the Inquisitor is deliberately putting him under pressure in the hopes that he would slip up and say the wrong thing. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing but he’s anxious about why she even dropped by unannounced, on today of all days.

“Mr Lightwood, is that too hard of a question for you?” The Inquisitor asks, her tone patronising.

“Two months, Madame Inquisitor,” Alec replies, his mind certain of the answer but his voice betrayed him, sounding unsure.

Madam Inquisitor doesn’t say anything in response to that, she just stares up at him through cold eyes.

Alec shifts nervously from one foot to the other.

He has been around Senior officials of the Clave before, but being scrutinised by the High Inquisitor of Idris... it made him anxious. Not only that, but he didn’t understand why he was getting a surprise visit from her, there had been no official reports filed that needed her assistance and as far as Alec is aware, everything had been running smooth enough that he was confident that he was at least doing an adequate job.

The look on the Inquisitor’s face told him otherwise, and he felt sick to his stomach as he waited for her to speak.

“You’re two months into running this Institute and you have already had more reported Demon attacks and unauthorised missions than any of the other Institutes combined. The majority of the missions involving your siblings, whether that’s a coincidence or now, I don’t know but I’m beginning to think that your parents made a very big mistake in leaving you in charge in their absence. Perhaps it would have been better for you to have more time to prepare for the role, or perhaps they should have made the decision to call in someone else to shadow you for a few days before leaving.” Madame Inquisitor says, her tone cold and her eyes never leaving Alec. “I must say I’m very disappointed, Mr Lightwood.”

“With all due respect, Ma’am, I’ve been running the Institute just fine without assistance.”

“Just fine,” she repeats, her eyes calculating as she looks up at him.

“That’s not...” Alec starts but she immediately cuts him off.

“I would certainly hope that even as an acting Head of this Institute that it would be run better than just fine, Mr Lightwood, though I wouldn’t have expected anything more than that from a Shadowhunter who has a conflict of interest when it comes down to dealing with Downworlders.” Madame Inquisitor states, standing back up from the chair and taking a step around the desk in order to face him as she continued to say, “Which is why I am going to be appointing Jonathan as the new Head of the New York Institute from this moment on, at least until the official vote has been taken.”

Alec’s heart stops beating for a second as he looks at her, shock spreading across his expression.

“Inquisitor...” Alec started but again, she cut him off.

“It’s Madame Inquisitor, Mr Lightwood, and I don’t believe that this is a discussion; you will step down effective immediately.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest but he quickly shut it again.

Arguing with her would do no good, and it certainly wouldn’t win him any points with his parents when they find out that he’s been demoted in favour of Jace, of all people. Don’t get him wrong, Alec is happy that Jace is finally getting a chance to prove his leadership skills but he doesn’t know the first thing about running the New York Institute, it was never in his plans and it most certainly wasn’t part of Maryse and Robert’s plans either.

Alec can only imagine how Isabelle is going to react when she finds out that there’s been a change in leadership when it’s time for the next meeting, which if Madame Inquisitor has anything to say about it, won’t be long now.

Letting out a sigh, Alec bows stiffly to the Inquisitor and turns to walk out of the office.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Alec had needed a walk in order to calm himself down, his tiredness long forgotten as he walked down an almost deserted street in China Town. His mind wasn’t in control of his feet as he walked, his head bowed down low and eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what had just happened.

Jace had been chosen to take over the role as Head of the New York Institute.

Alec had been asked to step down immediately, and it was suggested that he was to take some time away from the Institute and that was all before he had to pass his fellow Shadowhunters, walk past his own team that looked to him for advice and leadership, being escorted like he was a criminal by Madame Inquisitor’s security team down to the grand foyer with nothing more than his precious bow and quiver strapped on his back and a few minimal choices of clothes that should last him a few days stuffed into a duffel bag which he tightened his grip around the strap as he walks.

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, Alec thought as he headed further down the street.

There have been times in his life that he could recall being classed as a disappointment to his parents, one of them being when he had called off his wedding to Lydia Branwell in favour of kissing Magnus Bane in front of the entire Clave that was in attendance but that compared to how he was feeling right now was a whole other level. When he called off the wedding, he felt like a great big weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he found himself being able to breath a lot easier when he realised what he truly wanted. It’s true that his Mom was beyond pissed at him and she did a pretty good job of giving him the silent treatment but he didn’t think that he could ever do something so wrong that it would top that moment.

He should have known that things were going far too smoothly; he hadn’t received any contact from the Clave for a few days, it was practically radio silence on their side, and Alec was too focused on dealing with the Demon attacks to even pay them any mind. He was doing the best that he could to contain the level of destruction the Demons were creating; he was trying his best to hold not only himself but the entire Institute together and he honestly believed that it was working out.

Ever since he was promoted to Head of the Institute following his parents departure, people were actually starting to listen to him when he gave them orders, they followed them without questioning his judgement and after so many years of having his orders ignored by Isabelle and Jace, even they started to listen to him... most of the time, at least. People were finally starting to listen to him and Alec had to admit that he liked it.

Growing up, he was always overshadowed by Jace and Isabelle, they were the most confident out of the Lightwood children and as hard as they tried, they couldn’t seem to bring Alec out of his shell. He was most content when he was training or spending time reading in his room. Growing up at the Institute, it didn’t exactly allow Alec to be social with others who weren’t Shadowhunters, but that all changed when he met Magnus.

From the moment Alec had laid eyes on the Warlock, it was like he was being seen by someone for the first time in a long time.

Magnus has always said that it was Alec who had unlocked something within him but in all honesty, it was Magnus who had unlocked Alec. It was Magnus that brought Alec out of his shell and gave him both the confidence and reassurance which he needed to become a leader that his parents would be proud of. Once news reaches them about this, Alec can only hope that Magnus would be able to reassure him that everything would be okay... that his parents would still believe in his abilities and would go against the Inquisitor’s decision to demote him.

As Alec stops walking, he lets himself think of the worst case scenario; even if Maryse and Robert take the news badly, Alec’s not going to be alone. Isabelle and Jace might be on his side but out of all of them, Magnus is the one that will stand by Alec, no matter what.

With this thought in mind, it didn’t surprise Alec when he finally looked up and found himself standing in front of Magnus’s apartment building.

It seems as though his mind was in control of his feet after all as this is exactly where he wanted to be right now.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

“Alexander!” Magnus beams as he opens the door to his apartment but upon seeing the look on Alec’s face, he adds, “What’s happened?”

Alec shifts from one foot to the other, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at Magnus through thick lashes, duffel bag in hand.

“Would it be alright if I stay with you for a while?” He asks softly, his voice low.

“You never have to ask, Alexander; you’re always welcome to stay,” Magnus smiles, his tone soft as he takes hold of Alec’s hand.

Alec returns his smile with one of his own, a smile Alec notes, doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he lets the Warlock lead him over the threshold and into the apartment, shutting the door behind him with a quick flick of his wrist and with a minimal exertion of magic to put his wards back in place.

“Thank you.”

All of the tension that was in Alec’s body melted away the moment he stepped into the apartment, the familiar warmth of Magnus’s presence alone was enough to ease the tension out of Alec’s shoulders and once again the exhaustion he had felt earlier in the evening, came rushing back to him. He stumbled forward a step and was caught by Magnus, his hands resting on his shoulders as if to steady him.

“Hey, are you alright?” Magnus asks as his eyes scan Alec over. “Are you hurt?”

Alec shakes his head as he looks at Magnus, a soft smile on his lips as he leans forward until their foreheads touch.

“Alexander...” Magnus breathes out, reaching a hand up so that it’s resting on the back of Alec’s neck. “Talk to me.”

“I’m okay, I’m just a little tired,” Alec admits, letting out a small sigh. “It’s been a long day.”

Magnus catches Alec’s gaze and looks at him with concern as he contemplates his words.

Magnus knew that Alec worked harder than any other Shadowhunter he had known in order to get to his ambition of running the Institute, it was a quality in which Magnus could relate; he had to fight tooth and nail to become the High Warlock of Brooklyn and he didn’t want to think about how many all-nighters he had spent in dealing with one problem or another, his magic being pushed until he was on the verge of passing out.

It’s definitely a quality that has certainly helped Magnus to connect with Alec.

During all the late nights he spent with Alec in his office at the Institute, he watched the young Shadowhunter pouring over multiple reports, his hands running through his unruly hair when he was trying to work out the next piece of the puzzle, his shoulders tensing while his posture grew taller when he was addressing his subordinates. It made Magnus feel so unbelievably proud to see him in action, to see him dive into his role as the Head of the New York Institute, to see him achieving his dreams and following them that one step closer towards becoming the High Inquisitor of Alicante. However, the Alec that was standing in front of him now, wasn’t the same, confident Alec that he had watched countless times direct his own team... this Alec was dishevelled, tired and unable to keep from looking anywhere and everywhere.

To Magnus, he reminded him of a deer that was caught in the headlights, not knowing what to do next and the resemblance broke his heart.

“I’m sorry for just dropping by like this but I didn’t know where else to go,” Alec murmurs, his tone weary.

“Don’t apologise, I’m glad that you came to me. Now, why don’t you come and have a seat and I’ll get you a cup of tea,” Magnus replies softly, tilting his head up just enough to meet Alec’s lips, kissing him briefly before gesturing with one arm to the couch, his other remained resting on Alec’s shoulder, letting him know in his own way that he’s here for him and that he’s glad that he came to him.

“I don’t suppose you have anything stronger?” Alec asks as he leans back against the plush material.

Magnus looks over his shoulder at Alec, his eyebrows raised in question as he passes on his way to the drinks cabinet.

“Like I said, it’s been a long day,” Alec confirms, a small hint of a smile on his lips.

“Wine it is,” Magnus smiles back, summoning two wine glasses into his hand and turning back to the cabinet.

Magnus found it endearing really, that Alec had asked for something stronger than tea. When he had first met the Shadowhunter, he wasn’t much of a drinker, but after spending the occasional evening at Magnus’s apartment, he had seemed to have acquired a taste for alcohol, though Magnus was always careful in choosing the drinks he gave to Alec, not wanting to incapacitate the Shadowhunter in case he was needed back at the Institute.

It’s become one of Magnus’s favourite time of the day, enjoying Alec’s company as they connect over drinks.

Actually, who is he kidding?

Any time he spends with Alexander is his favourite part of the day.

He quickly pours their drinks and picks up the glasses, turning back to face Alec who was looking like he was a million miles away, a lost look in his eyes as Magnus slowly makes his way towards him. Magnus didn’t want to startle him so before he took a seat, he quietly cleared his throat, holding out one of the wine glasses for him to take, which he does with a brief smile, shaking his head from whatever thought was occupying it.

“I must say Alexander, you’re starting to worry me,” Magnus admits, taking a seat beside him and tentatively leans against Alec’s shoulder.

Alec doesn’t say anything in response and for a moment, Magnus thinks that he might have fallen asleep but then he heard Alec’s shuddering intake of breath and he knew that something horrible was definitely playing on the Shadowhunter’s mind.

“Alec,” Magnus calls out, shifting round on the couch so that he’s facing him, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he asks, “What is it?”

“I...” Alec breathes out, his voice cracking.

He didn’t want to tell Magnus what had happened through fear that the Warlock would abandon him, just like he knew his parents were going to do once the news reached them, if it hadn’t already - news tends to travel fast around the Institute and it doesn’t take long to reach Idris either.

In the back of his mind, Alec knew that he was being stupid thinking that Magnus would ever do such a thing, the Warlock has gone through his own fair share of abandonment in his extraordinarily long life, so he understands the pain that Alec is going through, but he just couldn’t face saying the words out loud, at least not yet. If he says them to Magnus, then it becomes real but if he holds it all in...

“Alexander,” Magnus presses, giving Alec’s shoulder a little shake.

“Madame Inquisitor arrived at the Institute and she’s demanded that I step down with immediate effect,” Alec blurts out.

Alec’s mind had apparently already decided to tell Magnus the truth.

As he let out the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding, he felt a tremendous weight life from his shoulders but that wasn’t enough to stop his stomach from twisting at the thought of what Magnus would think of him. He couldn’t stop thinking that Magnus would be disgusted at him that he couldn’t hold onto an important role, that he would think Alec useless and would push him away and out of the apartment. He knew it was ridiculous, of course, Magnus wasn’t like that and he certainly wouldn’t push Alec away, but Alec still couldn’t look him in the eye as he sips at the wine.

“That’s not all,” Magnus replies, his voice even despite the flash of anger that crosses his expression.

Whether it was directed at Alec or at the Inquisitor, Alec wasn’t so sure that he wanted to know.

Alec shakes his head as he raises the glass once more, but Magnus’s hand stops him from raising it to his lips.

“Alec, what else happened?” Magnus presses.

Alec knows that if he says the words, he’s going to crack.

He could already feel himself falling apart but one look at Magnus and his mouth started running itself.

“She made Jace the Head of the Institute,” Alec murmurs as he knocks back the remaining wine Magnus had supplied him with. “Apparently having a personal connection to a Downworlder means that I am no longer able to remain objective enough to efficiently run the Institute.”

Alec places the now empty wine glass down on the coffee table with a little more force than he intended, causing the glass to shatter everywhere.

“Shit!” Alec exclaims as he reaches for the broken pieces, not realising that a piece was sticking up until his hand connected and started to draw blood.

“Alexander...” Magnus breathes out, trying to keep Alec’s attention on him.

Alec was too worked up to notice what Magnus was doing, he was too focused on cleaning the broken glass up just in case Magnus somehow got hurt too. It’s an automatic reaction that has been drilled into him; if you make a mess, Alexander, it’s your responsibility to clean it up, his Mother used to scowl before turning on her heels and walking away from him, leaving him on his own to fix whatever he had messed up.

As Alec takes in a shuddering breath of panic, his hands shaking from the glass cutting him, he couldn’t help but think that if today has taught him anything, it’s that he’s not capable of doing anything right without something being messed up.

I can’t even put a simple glass down without it breaking, he thinks miserably as he keeps cleaning up the shards.

He faintly hears Magnus talking to him but his brain couldn’t comprehend what he was saying through his frustration and overall exhaustion.

“Alec, stop.” Magnus says firmly, reaching out to still Alec’s trembling hands while his eyes scanned Alec’s face until he caught his gaze and then added in a softer tone, “Just stop for a second and breathe with me, okay? It’s just a glass, I can easily fix it or make it disappear with a click of my fingers, just take a deep breath with me, okay? And then let it out... that’s good, can you keep doing that for me while I clean up your hand?”

Alec didn’t say anything, he didn’t trust his mouth with words at the moment so he simply nods in response, his hazel eyes never leaving Magnus’s beautiful brown ones, even when the Warlock waved a hand with an over-flourishment of movement and the wound on his hand closed. The blood that was quickly staining his skin disappearing a second later, not leaving a single trace that it had even been there in the first place.

Alec takes in another breath.

In all honesty, he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up about a broken wine glass, it’s as Magnus said, it’s just a glass. He knows that he’s being stupid, just like he knows that he needs to keep his breathing steady and under control but his mind is running a thousand miles per hour and it was feeling like everything was finally starting to crush him under the weight of all the pressure and responsibility he had to carry.

He was literally too exhausted to even care about breaking down in front of Magnus.

Alec doubts that Magnus would think any less of him if he did actually start crying but he shook the thought away as quickly as it came; Magnus has been his rock, his one consistent presence and has already pretty much witnessed every single mood Alec has gone through, whether it was intentional or not, and yet he was still here... Magnus wasn’t going anywhere and if he were fazed by Alec’s mood swings, then he didn’t let it show.

Magnus places a hand to the side of Alec’s face before pulling him towards him, his head resting on top of Alec’s as he holds him close.

“I’m sorry,” Alec murmurs into Magnus’s neck. “I didn’t mean to burden this on you, I’m just tired and I can’t think straight.”

Magnus tightens his grip on Alec as he places a kiss on top of his head.

“You don’t ever have to apologise, Alexander. It’s understandable that you’re frustrated; Imogen Herondale... well, let me put it this way, she’s not the easiest woman in the world to get along with,” Magnus states as he brushes a strand of hair away from Alec’s eyes. “It’s no secret that she respects honour and her family over anything else and she doesn’t beat around the bush in regards to her dislike of Downworlders and especially of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec says, his words honest. “The way that she treats you and every other Downworlder... it’s sickening.”

“It’s to be expected,” Magnus confirms. “We’ve come to accept our place around Shadowhunters. We may not like it, especially when we’re up against people like Imogen but we’ve all learnt to adapt and for the most part, we live peacefully together and every once in a blue moon, we come across a Shadowhunter with such a pure heart, it makes even the most grumpiest of Warlock’s sing... Shadowhunters like you, Alec.”

“You shouldn’t have to expect that though, no one should.” Alec says, his voice cracking. “And a pure heart can only get you so far.”

He knew that there were Shadowhunters out in the world who disliked Downworlders and would do all that they could in order to avoid helping them, his parents for starters were among those who wore their prejudice on their sleeves, they laid it out clear to those they were leading, making it abundantly clear to them that anyone who thinks otherwise, shouldn’t even be at the Institute. Alec hated them for that. He hated that they couldn’t see past their own teachings enough to realise that the world was changing around them, that it doesn’t matter if they’re Downworlders or not.

The Angel and the Shadowhunters are there to protect all those in need and that includes Downworlders, whether they like it or not.

It’s a lesson that Alec was determined to teach them as he accepted his place at the Institute but now... he can feel the built-up tears finally breaking free from his eyes as he tightens his grip on Magnus, his head burrowing deeper into Magnus’s neck as he holds back his cries.

“Shh, it’s okay, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs into his ear, his voice soothing as he runs a hand through Alec’s hair.

Alec couldn’t speak anymore, he couldn’t do much of anything anymore apart from grasping onto Magnus and just letting himself be held by the Warlock who against all odds, chose Alec to be his one and only; a choice that Alec is still processing.

Magnus doesn’t say anything as Alec cries.

He knows how much being the Head of the Institute had meant to Alec, and his own heart was breaking at the sight of his boyfriend crumbling to pieces in his arms at the decision of one bitter, grudge-bearing old woman. In the years that he’s known her, he had tried his best to get along with her, especially after he heard news of the death of her son, Stephen. He had offered her comfort and had tried to form an alliance, just in case she needed a Warlock for anything but she had turned on him quicker than he turned to his magic, pushing him away and shutting him out and now, she’s doing the exact same thing to Alec.

It had nothing to do with Alec’s ability to run the Institute.

She’s pushing him away and shutting him out for the choice he’s made in regards to a partner.

He could feel the anger bubbling inside of him but he forced himself to remain calm. It would not do Alec any good if Magnus unleashed his fury on the Inquisitor and it would most likely destroy him if he was taken away by the Silent Brothers and locked up for his actions. Any time away from Alec was painful enough, especially with how dangerous their jobs could be, and Magnus did not want to be the one responsible for Alec’s pain.

So, instead of creating chaos, he just sits there, running his hand soothingly through Alec’s hair as he holds onto him, not wanting to let him go.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Alec shuffles out of Magnus’s bedroom feeling much more refreshed but embarrassed by his breakdown the night before.

He wasn’t sure at which point they had moved from the couch into Magnus’s bedroom but he was grateful at not having to sleep on the couch; it was comfortable enough to make out with Magnus but sleeping on the thing took a strain on his back and neck. Alec shudders at the reminder of the first time he stayed over and he awoke the next morning, hardly able to move. It took ages for him to lose the stiffness from his limbs that had crept into his bones and muscles while he slept.

This morning though, he felt like he had slept on a cloud.

Following the scent of coffee, Alec finds Magnus bustling around the kitchen, hand brewing a pot of coffee like a Mundane instead of summoning one like he usually did.

When he first saw Magnus summon a coffee from the local coffee shop, he was amazed but felt guilty about him just taking the coffee without paying for it, so when he left to head to the Institute, he called in on his way and just left some money on the counter which caused the girl that was standing by the coffee machine to give him a look as if to say ‘what are you doing? I haven’t taken your order’ but he shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something about ‘paying it forward’ before quickly leaving.

It eased the guilt and he was able to enjoy the rest of his day.

He isn’t sure if Magnus ever found out about him leaving money in return for the coffee but he hasn’t seen him summon a cup since.

Alec leans against the door frame, a smile on his face as he watches Magnus for a few moments.

He takes in the sight of his morning attire, he takes in the way his hair was still ruffled from sleep and he listened to the content humming as he moved with ease, gathering mugs and milk; he moved as easily and with the same contentment he shows when he’s working on a new potion or learning a new spell.

Deciding to make his presence known, Alec straightens up and steps behind Magnus, his arms wrapping around the Warlock’s slim waist as he nuzzles his nose against the back of his neck, breathing in the scent of the Sandalwood shampoo he loved so much.

Magnus chuckles softly as he turns around in Alec’s arms, his own wrapping around Alec’s waist as he tilts his head up for a kiss; Alec is more than happy to oblige.

“I must say, Alexander, this is a wonderful way to start the day,” Magnus beams when he pulls back from the kiss.

His forehead remains resting against Alec’s as they both take a moment to catch their breaths.

“I’m glad that I could make it up to you,” Alec murmurs, his nose grazing affectionately against Magnus’s.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asks, confused.

“You know... for coming round so late and having a breakdown... you can’t say that it didn’t ruin your evening,” Alec murmurs, his voice low.

“Alexander, as I told you last night, you never have to apologise to me, ever, and I would much rather you have a breakdown here than have one when you’re on your own and unable to calm down. It’s like I’ve said before, your burden are my burdens and we will get through them together.”

Alec closes his eyes and pulls Magnus closer to him as he recalls the fear he had felt last night.

He had been so afraid that if he laid his worries out in front of Magnus, that the older man would turn and push him away. He knew that it was stupid to think that way last night but now, hearing Magnus’s words, he wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he had been. Alec had nothing to worry about when it came down to Magnus’s feelings for him. He should know to have more trust in the Warlock. It was hearing Magnus’s words that made Alec realise that it didn’t matter what position he held at the Institute, or how his parents and fellow Shadowhunters viewed him - the only person’s opinion which Alec really cared about and counted on was Magnus’s.

Still, it doesn’t hurt to want to hear the words spoken out loud every once in a while.

“I love you,” Alec announces, his lips brushing against Magnus’s once more.

“And I love you... so much so that I have a little surprise for you,” Magnus smiles, returning Alec’s kiss before he spins on his heels to face the door as the buzzer sounds. “Now, I know yesterday was a bad day for you and as much as I know you love my magic tricks, I thought I would do one better.”

Now it was Alec’s turn to be confused.

He tilts his head to the side as Magnus swings open the apartment door, revealing Catarina and Madzie standing on the other side.

“Magnus!” Madzie smiles as soon as she sees him and wraps her arms around his neck when he kneels down to her height.

“Sweet Pea!” Magnus greets with a smile of his own as he embraces the young girl.

Alec folds his arms across his chest as he leans back against the door frame, a smile on his face as he watches the two Warlock’s embrace. He had told Magnus before that he would make a great Father, if the future was kind enough to allow them to start a family together. Magnus had spent so much of his life taking care of others, that his skills are unmatchable. His eyes briefly glance up at Catarina who gives him a warm smile of her own.

He takes a step forward and watches as Madzie’s eyes go wide as she spots him standing behind Magnus.

“Alec!” The young Warlock cries out as she rushes towards him, smile wide as she jumps into his arms.

“Madzie! Hey! How’s my favourite little sorceress?” Alec asks, a grin of his face as he adjusts his grip so that she’s resting on his right hip.

“I’m going to have a sleepover with Magnus!” Madzie exclaims excitedly, wrapping her arms around Alec’s neck. “Are you going to stay too?”

“Yeah!” Alec replied, placing a kiss on her temple.

“Can we play Sharks and Minnows?!”

“You bet we can!” Alec smiles and starts to tickle her sides as she giggles.

Magnus looks over at Catarina who had a hand over her heart; she was completely enamoured by how much love Alec had for Madzie.

It’s no secret that Catarina was skeptical about Alec at first, Magnus knew that and she wasn’t the first one to express doubts either. Raphael was quick to jump on him about his decision just like every other Downworlder he came across but after properly meeting him and spending some time with him, Catarina had grown to respect Alec for who he is and to not judge him based on his position at the Institute and amongst his Shadowhunter peers.

It really meant a lot to Magnus that his best friend was trying her best to get to know his boyfriend, and vice versa.

Magnus smiles from his place at the door, allowing the warmth to spread through him as he watches Alec and Madzie interact with each other. He wishes that Catarina could stay a little longer to enjoy this precious moment but he knew that she had to head off and so, he turned his attention to her.

“I really appreciate you bringing Madzie here and allowing her to sleep over,” Magnus begins.

“It’s not a problem at all, actually your call came at the right time; I’ve been asked to speak at a conference in Marrakesh and I wasn’t sure what to do with Madzie - they have some pretty strict rules over there about children and conferences,” Catarina explained, glancing over at the little girl. “But it seems as though this is the right place for her to stay while I’m away.”

“You know that I would be more than happy to look after her whenever you need, right?” Magnus asks, taking hold of her hands.

“I do but I know how busy you get,” Catarina smiles. “Especially now that you’re helping Alec at the Institute.”

Magnus drops his gaze at her words, the smile slipping into a grimace at the mention of the place that’s caused Alec so much stress.

“You are still helping at the Institute, right? They haven’t banished you or anything along those lines?” Catarina presses, picking up on Magnus’s discomfort around the subject; she had always been able to read him like a book, it was part of the reason why he liked her so much.

“Actually... it appears that at the moment Alec is the one who has been pushed out,” Magnus murmurs, his voice low enough so only she could hear.

“What? Why?” Catarina demands, her voice just as low as she leans in closer.

“Imogen Herondale has made an appearance and made an informal decision to choose her own Grandson as the Head of the Institute while Alec’s parents are away sorting out their marital issues. Alec didn’t exactly take the news as well as the Inquisitor had hoped he would and he broke down last night. Which is why I called you to see if we could have Madzie for a few days; she’s the best at distracting him.” Magnus explained, looking back at the young Warlock and the lost Shadowhunter as they take turns pulling a variety of funny faces at each other until they both burst out in playful laughter.

“Well, we all know how Imogen can get and honestly, I’m not surprised with her choice.”

“Yeah, me neither but that doesn’t mean she’s right; Alec was born for the role, not Jace.”

Catarina was quiet for a moment as she followed Magnus’s gaze to where Madzie was sitting contently on Alec’s hip as he spun them around.

The sound of Madzie’s laughter reached her ears and she couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle of her own; she loved seeing Madzie happy and when she was around Alec, she couldn’t help but have a great big smile on her face as she played her favourite games with him.

“Take her for as long as you need,” she says, her voice soft.

“Are you sure?” Magnus asks, wanting to make sure that Catarina was really okay with it.

“Yes, besides it looks as though she’s doing a great job already of keeping Alec occupied; she’ll wear him out by lunch if she keeps up this pace,” she smiles. “Tell Alec that I’m sorry to hear his news and just give me a call if you need anything, or if Madzie needs anything, okay?”

“Of course, my dear, thank you.”

Magnus reaches out to embrace Catarina before bidding her farewell.

She takes one last look back at Madzie before turning and walking out the front door to the waiting portal that will take her to Marrakesh.

Closing the door behind Catarina, Magnus puts a smile on his face and spins back round to face Alec and Madzie, clapping his hands together.

“Okay, who’s up for some pancakes?”

If you would like to support future works, then please consider buying me a coffee at https://ko-fi.com/earthtolottie - I appreciate you all!

#EarthToLottie #FanFic Writer #Shadowhunters #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Malec #Emotional Hurt/Comfort #Panic Attacks #Catarina Loss #Madzie

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