#or im just embarrassing myself
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i just had to match italian words to english words and my palms are sweating
#yes sì#london londra#sugar is zuccaro or smth#tea is tè#milk is latte#coffee is caffè#or im just embarrassing myself#im doing duolingo instead of sleeping#kat learns italian#milan milano#rome roma#im not from milan or rome so
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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really cringe but i wanted to test out how to do an animatic again and the only clip i had was this one from pearl
i have not . touched anything moving in so long oh god
#this took like 30 mins dfjkdffd#the other 30 was searching up how the hell the animation timeline worked in csp again#this is definitely way more chibi...stylized than i would like but i also draw way too slow and im not going to do all that just for a test#sighhh#i need to learn how to animate for real this time#it was my promise to myself now that i bought a display tablet lmao#everyone here will be forced to come along the ride of me learning how to animate#yay!!!! totally not embarrassing whatsoever#my art#eydimvs#<- temporary tag until i find a better sounding one
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09.23.24
this is so dumb
#i like to think that fan will observe how men around him act or talk or generally present themselves and mimic it#but people dont expect that from him so whenever he tries to people get confused#and then he gets all sad because he just wants to be MANLY and MASCULINE 💔💔💔#i also think that fan frequently tries to act like others in general but it throws people off and then hes all like#“fuck i embarrassed myself AGAIN i guess ill just KILL MYSELF”#(<- he wouldn’t say that. but he would think it)#im definitely not projecting all of my social insecurities onto him. i have nooo idea where youd get that from.#anyway tag time#ii fan#ii knife#inanimate insanity#fan ii#knife ii#ii
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I know I keep dissing anime!Ciel for not being able to dress himself, like everytime dress up doll scenes come up I keep heckling at the screen, "YOURE 13!!! DRESS YOURSELF" being unable to tie his shoelaces and button his coat and brush his hair properly, sir please
(although I'm heckling to stop myself from delighting in the obvious sebaciel scene pff)
But then at a closer look at his clothes in Yana's art, goddamn I would NOT be able to put all that shit on in under an hour. I'm more empathetic to his plight, alla that needs 2 pairs of hands and an hour at most.
Although his everyday clothes are simpler. I raise my eyebrow at this, watching the video now, Ciel could put on his socks and coat by himself. I like to think Ciel actually knows how to dress himself in his everyday clothes but just indulges Sebastian.
On the more elaborate sets, thank goodness for Sebastian, to be able to do that everyday (I still think Seb just likes dressing Ciel because that coat is too simple). I mean, he can do all that at superhuman speeds but it feeds my heart that he's taking his time to make his master beautiful
He could just do this ☝️ But he doesnt
#i mean#the maids dressed and bathed me only til i was 10 or 11 but then it was embarrassing when i mentioned this to my friends and they were like#'🤨 you dont do that yourself?'#DAMN SORRY THEN#so like mister ciel phantomhive i dont blame you i think im just taking shots at myself#kuroshitsuji#black butler#sebaciel#book of circus#blue revenge arc#bb manga#m'posts
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shenanigans
#pizza tower#peppino#pepperman#the noise#gustavo#spicy hot#suggestive#ONLY A LITTLE#heehee i am FREE from my commission shackles. this is a threat AND warning#gonna post some of the ACTUALLY not sfw stuff soon i think; dont wanna make a twitter for it#they wont be in the main tags but ill put them behind some jokey joke meme pic and then a readmore#bc like even if u put a readmore to cover the images. when its recommended to others from a DIFFERENT post#the first image u used still pops up any way#and i dont want to put peptitties out for everyone to see LMAO#anyway#ive had this idea for ages; peppino getting stuck w pepperman on the their way to a gala#and pepperman is like do not worry my friend; i will simply call in a helicopter to come pick us up :)#and peppino is like WHAT?? dont do that !!!! its just a flat; i can fix that!#but i just now thought of adding the others lol i wanted an excuse to draw them w some fancy hair :)!#noise is like. um. theres no way I can sit here for 20 minutes and NOT embarrass myself. im going to find a rock to sit on#and not look at him#self imposed timeout and naughty shame corner#gustavos comment is from a tag i saw on a post that made me scream laugh#and pepperman watches intently bc that is his muse and he likes committing peppinos form to memory heehee
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kitty kitty kitty
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#listen ok hear me out ok there is a wonderful duo i know online#who have a lovely orange cat named ferdinand and i love him and this is ONLY a problem#because i now have a funky lil orange kitten boy myself and his name is Caramel Latte and i keep#almost calling him the wrong name and im so embarrassed w myself#but after spending a year looking at someone elses cat via photo spams when i can its like#aha thats the name of a Cat#anyway i love my lil fella my lil guy#and we adopted him and his mama and they were basically living upstairs in the guest room to be Safe and Sound#bc i am the only resident upstairs and so its quieter#and so for a week the mom would come to my room and just MEOW at 4am#and id be like ope my turn#and then i would leave my room and go to the guest room and play with Caramel Latte and his 4am zoomies#im designated other parent and its truly an honor ok#my dad would be like oh no cant find the lil guy and im like ohyeah ? bet? and he would RUN ON OUT and sit on my foot#Latte loves me a lot...te.....#and i showed a lil video of him to someone on discord and her response was#his ears are too big for his lil head#and its true he has huge ears and i wuv him and he will grow into them eventually its fine he is hardly just over a month old#anyway kittens my beloved
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(i made these back in Dec 2023 but forgot to post them. but i still like them so here they go)
anyway these are character sketches/concepts for a fic As the incense burns, which is basically Misadventures of PIDW late-game Mu Qingfang
((pardon the scrap paper, most of them were just side doodles from next to my notes lol))
some more scraps under cut ↓
these are silly goofy doodles which do not correlate with the overall vibe of the fic (with some exceptions) but i am not making fun of the fic dont worry the author gave me explicit permission to make these :) (lol)
#mu qingfang#as the incense burns#these were laying around in my sketchbooks for so long hdshk#well i figured nows good time as any to put em somewhere so that they stop gathering dust lol#hm? whats that? how come this is from last year if the new SJ update got released this month?#well you could say me and the author are......tight#hfdskjhfks yes i think im being very funny#for anyone confused its me im the author im just embarrassed by it slightly cuz im not a writer so its not really up to par#to what i would want it to be#but its whatever its just a fun thing for me it doesnt need to be good#but that is also a big reason why this gathered dust for so long i didnt know if i should post it with the link or not#eh whatever#i decided to stop being a coward and post this as a little treat to myself cuz i passed my anatomy exam today yayyy#(ironically still wayy too many exams to go so no update for this fic for quite a while still lol. maybe in january if we're lucky)
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Send me every little selfie you take so that i can look at them whenever i miss you
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#hate how much im having a picture locket of my beloveds face coded#embarrassing tbh#like pls let me look at pictures of you when i miss you and i can’t sleep pls pls pls pls#when i dont have time to text or call you but i miss you#when i just sort of need to stare at you but we aren’t together#ughhhhh#i like pictures SO much#but also i would rather die than have a picture of myself exist i hate those things smh#few experiences as mortifying to me as having my picture taken horrible and awful#my brain is itchy just thinking about it#im gay and i like sleeping#also also i am. So tired.#i tried to grammar check all this but god i cannot focus on it lol#so apologies if there’s nonsense😅#time to SLEEP even though i have absolutely NO pictures to stare at longingly smh😒
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you ever meet a person who is so radiant, you are struck dumb and unable to speak coherently?
#omfg i just WANT ED TO SPEKA TO KEYAN CARLILE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING#I WAS STRUCK DUMB#I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING SMART. HE WAS BLINDING ME#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#I COULD SPEAK TO EVERYONE ELSE JUST FINE BUT AS SOON AS KEYAN COMES OUT ITS LIKE ERRRR UMMM HIII UMM THANK YOU HEE THANK YOU FOR COMPLIMENT#AAAAAAAAAAA#WHYYYYYY#IM SO EMBARRASSED#i'm still beating myself up over it#literally cried in the hotel room cuz i had so much to say thankful for but i was breathless. so disappointed in myself#HOW CAN A HUMAN LITERALLY TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY WHAT THE FRAG#lmaooooo whyyyyyyyy#wtf#people who are so good to this world interacting with monster like me#he made me like transformers again#there is nothing i can do that would amount to that favour returned#Translators Note: do you people understand how difficult it is to translate this shit for her. It's nonsensical at points. rofl.#TN: She has all this shit in her drafts of “Maybe publish maybe dont”. GIRL.#TN: shokkie if you read this ilu no cap no cap
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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hi I went down a musical filled path recently
#tumblr is the indulgence website tumblr is the crige website tumblr is the#<chanting this to myself so that i muster up the courage to post this#idk why im so embarrassed i just never considered myself much of a musical enjoyer but starkid has quite literally taken over my life#it all happened so fast#anyways.. i wanted to draw SOMETHING and this is what came out#thank you for coming to my ramble#team starkid#starkid#starkid fanart#hatchetfield#hatchetfield universe#tgwdlm#npmd#my art#im realizing idk what to tag this as#the guy who didn't like musicals#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetverse
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2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso
#SORRY. I AM GOING THROUGH IT.#this is why i had to put vettonso merchant in my bio bcs if i dont post them at least 5x a week ill die#their dynamic in this race is like actually indecipherable to me#cause this is the race where fernando 'allegedly' said fuck you my boy#but their dynamic is so odd????#like they have that happen in the cooldown room#and then generally ignore each other on the podium#and then we randomly get this cute moment and then they INSTANTLY go back to being awkward#but then in the press con they keep talking about each other and looking at each other???? okay :)#sometimes im just like. yeah no i give up on trying to understand them#not rly noticeable in these buts its so funny how seb pats him to get his attention#and then immediately goes to cheer as if to be like 'huh what i didnt touch uou'#to ref that one post about this race said: he didnt wanna embarrass himself again by getting turned on#stealing this from c cough cough but hes like 'oh no!! if he looks at me im gonna embrass myself on broadcast again!!'#anyways i love this moment and the pics from this are like my fav ever 2010s pics of them so yeah <3#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#*its so odd i completely remember finishing this and scheduling it last night#*but when i woke up it was only half done??? im still confused#2011 italian gp
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It’s just… it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his “SO OBVIOUS” exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.
Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Like… Ur super mean and hot, I can’t blame her.) Anyway.. it’s SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.
Jude thought Cardan’s (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: “Im trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,” trick.
I’m fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.
#IM JUST NOW REALIZING I SPELT THEIR WRONG AND IM SO EMBARRASSED#at least it was the right their😭😭#THEYRE SO REAL LMFAOOOOOO#like they both were so hot ofc they constantly questioned the validity of each others feelings#if the last part didn’t make sense I’ll explain#she knew he had tricked her into exile and when Jude was like ‘can I pardon myself?’ she thought it was another trick to humiliate her#like girl it was to do THE OPPOSITE of humiliation#HE WAS SENDING YOU TO SAFETY UNTIL YOU COULD COME BACK AND FLAUNT UR NEW POSITION#but basically it revealed that he loved like Jude loves#that they have the same heart#(he’s not like the reg folk. he grew up around so many mortals as she did the folk)#but he’s a faerie so he doesn’t take caution to being unpredictable#Jude even knew: the folk could be humanlike but they (the folk) inevitably would do something to remind her that they STILL ARE folk#though she had too easily assumed that the folk acting like the folk meant betrayal#he thought the whole marriage thing had meant she fully trusted him#because he knew how hard it would be for her to give up her power over him#and he thought because that she had given up her ability to command him(comma) that she couldn’t doubt trusting him any longer#queen of nothing#the cruel prince#the wicked king#Jude Duarte#jurdan#cardan greenbriar#tfota#I’ve known them since I was 13 they’re much older in my stubborn pov#also me using the semi colon as if I’m sure that it’s proper grammar LMAOOOOO#confidence is key
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By the time i post this it won’t be international Lesbian day anymore, but just know i finished drawing these while it was still lesbian day. So in honor of lesbian day i doodled my favorite sapphic ship in Saw <3
#shotgunshipping#lynn denlon#amanda young#cant believe i didnt draw them sooner#actually the reason why i didnt is kinda embarrassing#i just really suck at drawing long hair#because since i have short hair im so used to drawing myself and other characters with short hair#so…yeah#lesbian#theyre lesbians your honor#or sapphics at least#idk#saw#saw 3#fanart#doodle#shitty doodles
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onto something i think...
#junpei/luna narrative parallels perhaps...perhaps....#i would elaborate. but i just finished room q in my replay. and am therefore quite emotionally tender at the moment.#i feel like this one is more self explanatory though#playing with my friend as well and i was BAWLING 2day by myself and ive seen this shit three times imgoing to embarrass myself.#junepei#junpei tenmyouji#akane kurashiki#luna vlr#sigma klim#endless devotion to the one person in the world who could never love you back...im vomiting blood#zero escape#myne
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