#or if youre going tonight and you see me
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seriously debated whether or not i was gonna say anything about this but i use this blog like a diary anyways so. whatever
chat i think i may be hyperfixated on rocky horror picture show. okay let me provide some background because that might seem kinda out of nowhere
for those of you who may not be aware: i am a theater kid. yes i know i can hear you booing through the screen. my college's theater group does a rhps shadow cast every year, and i am on the makeup crew for it this year. id seen the movie once years ago and liked it but also found it deeply uncomfortable (because i was in like eighth grade or something and people were all but fucking and sucking on screen).
i was front center in the audience last night and HOLY SHIT yeah that was cool (guy who played frank sat on my lap, i completed the herculean task of not passing out crying because a hot guy sat on my lap and was also yknow doing frank n furter things DIRECTLY IN FRONT ME like a for a big part of the show MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT its a miracle im not dead this guy almost killed me he looked back at me a few times while he was sitting on my lap and i was making the biggest dumbest nervous smile ever and im 99% he could feel me shaking we made eye contact at some point guys please send an ambulance)
guys please i know rhps is. deeply deeply questionable. but the movie is so stupid and the music is good i love it so much. also shadow casts are so epic THE CALLOUTS HELP. i have the callouts rattling around in my brain theyre all so funny.
im coming out as a faggot, a pathetic faggot, a rhps fan, AND a theater kid in the same post. i think one of you just needs to kill me
#mick just yaps#im making a tag for posts like this because they are becoming increasingly common#does anyone ever read these. do any of you look at these#also if any of the people who know me in real life see this and also happened to be at the show and i just missed you. um#you didnt see this#i was never there i lied im not gay youre gay whats gay i dont know what that is#or if youre going tonight and you see me#because i am going again#because A. im doing makeup B. unfortunate hyperfixation and C. um. uh. normal reasons#i will not be able to be in the front row again because the is the virgin section (aka people whove never seen the show before) BUT#i can be anywhere else there arent reserved seats#so maybe the sides if the people im going with (my friend whos also on the makeup crew + her boyfriend) are cool with it#and they arent all reserved again
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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happy pride month. i did not make this up for th ememe
#knight rider#kr#michael knight#kitt#art#doodles#comic#gay#knight rider fanart#mk2000#this has happened in at least.... 2 or 3 episodes i think#that's kinda gay michael#kitt was either going to say he's not an infant or something about how that's a word he only hears directed at attractive women#and michael is not. going to deal with one of those answers. doesn't even wanna know which he was going to ask#im going downtown tonight if i die and this was the last post on my blog it would be so so so so so funny#anyway my mom and my aunt both follow my instagram and watched knight rider in the 80s. so. i embrace whatever happens ;;#im still thinking about ''why dont You ever get me flowers'' or however that line went.#likE YEAH MICHAEL YOUR CAR HAS SAVED YOUR LIFE *NUMEROUS* TIMES. GET HIM SOME FLOWERS.#SCREAMS. why is this show so fruity i feel insane#gio if you see this when you build your kitt you need to take him to pride parades with little rainbow flags stuck off the windows#FLAG is only one letter away from F-
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its been a while since my last summer mochi 🌺🏖️
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#mochi#art#ocs#original#shy and pouty because coco coerced her into beach time and she cant go swimming#never wears anything so revealing ever#(a treat for lime he he)#i feel like i dont do a lot of solo character art anymore#but i wanted to doodle something tonight...#during the beach ep she stays on the sand under the umbrella the whole time#coco quietly to mochi: look fine you dont have to swim but the whole point is to let lime see you like *~this~*#anyway. lime stays there with her#mochi: if its too hot you should go swimming!! you dont have to keep me company!!#lime: nah im good (id rather die than be away from you wearing that swimsuit)#lime: (the hottest mochi ive ever seen and im gonna waste my time in the water????? hell no)#lime: if youre sweating why dont you uhh......take off the sweater#mochi shy af#its fine if she doesnt. he still has the lower body views
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Hi I have caught up to you on having feelings about Zhuzhi-Lang. He's a good boy! 🥺 Good snake boy! 🥺 I had the thought, after Zhuzhi let SQQ leave after SQQ yelled at him... what if they Stole Him. What if.
(Also have you read/been recommended anything by corduroyserpent yet? Big writer of Zhuzhi-Lang fics, including a very cute de-aged Zhuzhi-Lang and some zhushen)
Justifications of bride-stealing!
(AND HE'S THE BEST BOY 😭 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, SO MUCH!! have some further au thoughts because this has contaminated my brain...)
What I think would actually happen if they stole SQQ? Absolutely nothing good for anyone, LBH would Lose His Fucking Mind xD as a more interesting answer though, I like the idea that Shen "Pedantic Nitpicky Asshole" Qingqiu's primary point of argument is that he is not a bride so he cannot be "bridenapped" regardless of demonic tradition or intention!
This eventually leads to them all completely avoiding the Maigu Ridge incident because TLJ realizes that, somehow, SQQ doesn't realize the depths of his son's feelings for him and decides to put all his efforts into being a wingman for his nephew instead because he finds the entire thing absolutely hilarious and rather satisfying after his own sad romance. Obviously someone like SQQ would do much better with his good, loyal nephew than the disappointing offspring of that disastrous relationship!
As for ZZL he just has to assume that LBH must not be treating SQQ anywhere near the way he should be (and like... he isn't wrong at this point, there is a non-zero amount of torture and terror going on here) if SQQ doesn't see himself as being tied to LBH in any way. And if he's not attached to LBH then there's absolutely no reason he shouldn't make his own efforts to seduce SQQ! After all, if LBH isn't valuing SQQ properly then obviously ZZL has to step up because someone as kind as SQQ deserves the best!!!
#svsss#zhushen#zhuzhi lang#tianlang jun#shen qingqiu#sqq#zzl#tlj#my art#if this is incoherent please pardon me orz the timeline is all jumbled up in my head i read this series way too fast#but this is the rabbit hole your ask sent me down#listen i love zhuzhi-lang SO much#he is SO good and also so stupid bless his scaly heart#and tianlang-jun does NOT help matters#i want to see their combined efforts to woo sqq away from lbh i think it'd be hilarious#...however considering this would take place before getting ride of xin mo i can't imagine things. uh. go well if dragged out too long#lbh is not in like a super duber place mentally at this point in the story#on the other hand can you imagine shang qinghua witnessing this and doing his ABSOLUTE best to nope out of that nightmare#LBH'S FATHER AND COUSIN ARE TRYING TO STEAL THE PERSON LBH'S DECIDED TO ROMANCE?? WHEN HAS THAT EVER WORKED OUT WELL IN PIDW????#KEEP SQH OUT OF IT!!!! (he's not going to be allowed to stay out of it)#sqq's mental gymnastics over this romantic offensive would be very impressive#well you've given me a nice thing to think about while falling asleep tonight#EDIT: oh and as far as corduroyserpent i know i've at least read their ''i shine only with the light you gave me''#that one was absolutely WONDERFUL i was very emotional about it - i don't know whether or not i've stumbled across any of their others tho#i'll have to dive into their ao3 profile and search it more intentionally though if they come with praise like this 👀
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"If it helps, one of the many scenarios my brain likes to twist around is imagining Sonic's perspective of No Cracks In A Closed Loop (and I adore Tails getting to be a badass and pulling off the impossible, too- my brain just likes to spin on the angst sometimes)" - @manynerdthings
A/N: So I was inspired...
I think it's safe to say this helped a lot xD Thank you, manynerdthings!
This is a continuation of my fic "No Cracks in a Closed Loop"
No Cracks in a Closed Loop — Sonic's Side
"Sonic."
That single word—no, just the voice alone—was enough to cut through the adrenaline rush as pure chaos energy sang through his veins and ignited every nerve with its spark. In a flash of light and sound, Super Sonic punched a hole through the Starfall-titan-wanna-be by using his own body as a projectile. A cocky grin cut across his muzzle as it wobbled in place, setting its sights on him instead of the city it had been about to level; its laser cannons aimed directly at the fault line.
This fight wouldn't last twenty seconds. They'd already won.
"What's up, partner?" Sonic said into the comm as he shot skyward.
The streak of gold drew the mech's cannon higher, until it cleared the tips of skyscrapers and nearby mountaintops by the time it shot at him. The laser's heat didn't even singe his fur, firing at full power into the stratosphere instead of drilling deep into the crust of the planet. It zinged past the satellite Tails was communicating from, but Super Sonic's gaze didn't linger on it for more than half a second—already more than certain it was out of the laser's range. Speeding through the air, he whirled around towards the mech for his next move. He was going to cyloop Eggman's newest addition to his junk pile right off its feet.
Swerving down in a sharp arc, Super Sonic avoided the next blast while he swung around to try and circle it. It's clawed hand swiped at him before he could complete his first circuit. He shot straight up before it could catch him, homing attacking it in the face instead.
The comm was still quiet. Tails must've swapped to their own channel. Super Sonic flew backwards, putting both the titan and the distant satellite in his line of sight. Whatever he had to say, he didn't want anyone else to hear it.
Super Sonic's brow furrowed as a barrage of bullets opened up on him. He weaved between the hundreds of projectiles glinting dangerously in the sunlight, but his chaos energy and speed worked in tandem, as fluidly as a dance, while he searched for another opening to try the cyloop again.
He could beat this thing without it, sure, but it was the fastest way to take it down.
"Tails? Still with me, bud?" Super or not, Sonic still spared a second to check in, static ringing in his ears as he burst through the center of the mech's chest plate for a shortcut.
"I'm here," Tails answered, but his voice sounded faint, like the feedback was drowning him out. "Sorry, I…" Super Sonic started his cyloop. "I just wanted to—" He was halfway around. "I'm sorry—"
Sonic closed the loop. A burst of chaos energy swelled up with a deafening boom. The air rippled with the force of it in great gusts of wind that rocked the trees and the grass of the nearby hills. Waves rose up in the bay, their white caps scraping the bottom of the golden bridge that marked the edge of the sea. The fake titan lifted into the air, sparks crackling off its metal casing as its system overloaded. Super Sonic didn't give it a second to recalibrate itself.
Faster than anyone could see, he smashed into it on all sides. A tiny mote of golden light against the towering behemoth, but it struck every weak point, fried every circuit, as the chaos energy pressed in on it from the outside. Metal crunched and caved it on itself, contorting into a twisted configuration until it no longer resembled a machine.
A cheap imitation of the ancients' attempts to defend themselves, designed only to destroy instead of protect.
Super Sonic grabbed onto mech's arm—or maybe its leg, it was hard to tell at this point—as the cyloop's effect faded, catching it before it crushed Westopolis. He swung it around and around, gritting his teeth as he built up momentum and set his sights on the ocean out ahead of them. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—
Super Sonic let go.
The mech's remains were flung through the air, over the coastline and beyond the bridge that cut off the bay from the sea. It crashed into the water, the ocean spray shooting up into the air in a tower of mist once it hit the surface. The waves rolled aggressively towards the coastline, but ultimately broke apart in the bay before they could do too much damage. Some millionaires might have to replace a yacht or two, but that wasn't Sonic's problem.
As he dusted his hands off, he could finally acknowledge the warning bells Tails's last words to him had set off. "Hey, what was that, bud? I didn't catch—"
Super Sonic turned towards the satellite, addressing it like he would Tails, but it was gone. Instead a cloud of smoke filled the space where the satellite had been not ten seconds ago. Metal shards and fire rained upon the bay. Everything in pieces. Everything gone.
His comm was in chaos. Unintelligible voices shouted over one another in a cacophony of white noise that was already fighting a losing battle to the ringing in his ears. But he still noticed one voice was missing. He couldn't hear it.
He hadn't heard any of it.
Over the sonic boom of his cyloop and the screeching of metal as he demolished the titan, Sonic hadn't heard the satellite explode.
The satellite his little brother was on.
He'd been trying to tell him something.
He'd been trying to tell him something before a satellite exploded with him on it.
"I'm sorry."
Tails.
Super Sonic shot off like a bullet, speeding towards the black cloud of smoke and smoldering debris like there was even a chance—
No. There had to be a chance—
"I just wanted to—I'm sorry—"
Why? What happened? What did you do, Tails?
He hadn't even properly seen him off before he left. Tails had been trying to hack into Eggman's satellite remotely while Sonic was out chasing after the faux titans. He told them all about his plan to board the satellite and everyone agreed it sounded like the right call, so long as he could do it quickly. They needed to disrupt the signal, after all, and Tails was their best shot.
That was what he'd said, wasn't it? "You're our best shot, Tails. I believe in you, partner."
Their best shot, but not the only one. Not if it meant this.
Nothing was worth this.
Sonic didn't need to breathe while super, but his lungs still burned twin holes in his chest as his own nervous system caught fire. Golden sparks flicked off his quills as he raced through the air. Fiery eyes frantically scanned each scrap of metal that fell, but they must've already been irritated from the smoke because they burned and blurred with the rest of the world around him—
"—onic, wait! Come back! Sonic!"
One voice.
Super Sonic stopped. He stopped so fast and so suddenly, it felt like his own soul completely missed the memo. Like everything inside him continued to hightails it towards where Tails had been without him, leaving him empty. Hollow. Cold.
A vacuous space in the center of himself where there'd once been something.
The chaos energy inside him didn't know what to do with that.
With so much… nothing.
Stunned, he could only float in place for a stupid second until he remembered he'd stopped for a reason. With a sharp turn, his stare locked onto a splash of orange amidst the blotchy colors of the rest of the world bleeding into one another. Like he was still moving too fast to see clearly. Like he couldn't catch up to himself.
"Sonic…" Tails's voice broke like it had on the comm, but it wasn't with pain guilt fear regret static.
Vision clearing, Sonic could see him now. At the edge of one of the hills overlooking Westopolis and the bay. Tails just rubbed at his nose with a sheepish sort of grin, like the explosion was a minor miscalculation. A hiccup. My bad, he could hear him saying, like he was standing in the middle of his workshop, covered in soot and singed fur, one hand on his hip and a fire extinguisher at his feet.
Like he was fine.
Like he hadn't been incinerated in the fiery inferno smoldering above them.
Tails lowered his hand, eyes shining as they looked up at him, reflecting the very sky Super Sonic was caught in as the satellite's remains fell all around him. He'd been on that satellite. Just seconds ago, Sonic had been so sure of it.
He'd been so sure he'd lost him…
Then Tails opened his arms to him and laughed.
All at once Sonic crashed back into himself, chest heaving with a sharp inhale as his heart lurched forward.
Faster than a blink, Super Sonic barrelled into Tails and sent them toppling down the hillside. They smacked hard against the ground, but Sonic took the brunt of the fall even with the world spinning around them. His arms encircled Tails tightly, one hand protecting the back of his head while the other braced the small of his back as they tumbled and whooped like a pair of idiots. Pure joy radiated through him, burning brighter than the chaos energy coursing through his quills. It knocked the emeralds right out of him. The seven gems fell into the grass around them as the two mobians eventually rolled to a stop.
Sonic clutched Tails to him, shaking with breathless laughter as he felt his little brother hug him back just as tightly. "I'm here," Tails was saying, and it took a minute to realize he'd been repeating the words while Sonic's hands were trembling. "I'm here. It's okay, big bro. I'm here. I’m here."
"And you say I'm the one that's gonna give you a heart attack," Sonic wheezed, not bothering to give himself room to breathe if it meant letting go for even a second.
"Can't let you have all the fun." Tails smoothed his hands over Sonic's spines to try and settle him, his touch purposeful and grounding. "Deep breaths, big bro. You're gonna pass out."
"Nuh-uh," he argued, but filled his lungs with his next inhale anyway, then let all the air ease out of him.
"That's it. There ya go," Tails encouraged, but Sonic couldn't help his snort of indignation at being coddled and pushed away from him.
Except Tails just tightened his grip; fingers curling in his fur like they'd be forced apart if he didn't. He hid his face in the crook of Sonic's neck, his breaths coming only a little too fast. But his hands were shaking, too, and his twin tails wound around them both as if they were enough to protect them from the next threat.
Sonic didn't pull away. He just sat back, the eleven-year-old practically in his lap, and rested his hand atop Tails's head.
"Gave me a real scare there, pal," he said, voice low and gentle as he smoothed out his fur, picking at the grass and brambles they were both covered in.
"…Scared me, too."
Sonic's heart clenched, the open admission like a bludgeon to his protective instincts, even if his pride assured him Tails could handle it. After all, the proof had all but climbed into his lap. But now that he was looking at him—really looking at him—he could see his fur was mussed up from more than just a tumble at supersonic speed. A streak of blood stained his fur on his shoulder and there was a lump near the center of his back that filled Sonic with an angry fire hot enough to burn through the atmosphere when he so much as brushed against it with his fingers.
Tails didn't flinch when he grazed it, but his muscles gave an involuntary spasm that rippled beneath his fur and his hold on Sonic tightened. It was enough to quell the roiling rage to a simmer. Something he could stick a lid on without worrying it would boil over if left unchecked. It wasn't what Tails needed from him right now.
But Sonic still wanted some answers.
"What happened up there?" he asked.
Tails shook his head. "Just a bit of a closer call than I thought it'd be. But I'll be okay. I am okay."
Sonic instinctively bristled, prepared to be shut out of whatever it was he'd gone through. "Tails—"
"I'll tell you someday," he promised, pressing his paw over Sonic's heart. "I mean it. But right now we've got a lot of Eggman's mess to clean up. There's still six other titans out there and I'm sure everyone else is worried."
Sonic sighed, as exasperated as he could manage when he was still just glad this kid was alive. "Gonna hold you to that," he threatened, ruffling his fur to muss it up on purpose. "You owe me. Nearly shocked the Chaos Emeralds right outta my system."
"Says Mr. Guy-Who-Loves-Adventure," Tails teased as he pushed himself up to stand. "You should be used to it by now."
Sonic snorted when he was offered a hand up, but he took it nonetheless. "When I go gray early, I'll know exactly who to blame."
"Don't worry. I'll help you dye your quills, old man," Tails snickered, but it broke off with a wince as a sharp twinge ran through his back.
Sonic was quick to lay a supportive hand at his hip to steady him. "Look who's talking. At this rate, you're gonna be right there with me setting the record for the world's youngest old timers."
Tails sent him a look, but accepted the help nonetheless as he leaned his weight against him. "Did you really have to knock us all the way down the hill like that?"
"Heh. Well, in my defense, wasn't exactly thinking straight." Sonic scratched at his nose, giving him a not-so-subtle onceover. "Didn't bang ya up too bad, did I?"
"Nah. I'll bounce back," Tails assured him, giving him a pat on the back.
"You always do," Sonic agreed warmly as they took a few steps in tandem so they could start collecting the Chaos Emeralds on their way back up the hill while Tails alerted everyone to their status on his comm and checked in on everyone else as well.
Sonic just listened, taking in the rise and fall of his voice, his steady assurances and sighs of relief to hear that the world hadn't fallen apart in his absence. Even if it very nearly did. As far as Sonic was concerned, anyway.
But he was okay now. That was what mattered. And whatever it was that happened on that satellite—whatever reason Tails had for calling him seconds before disaster—he would trust that his little brother would come to him when he was ready. Because he'd be there for him. No matter what.
Keeping his arm looped around Tails’s waist even after they made it back up the hill, Sonic looked up at the smoke still fading from the sky. He tightened his hold on him. It felt like another lifetime, like another him had first seen the explosion and feared the worst. Tails followed his gaze, quiet again with all the calls taken care of and winded from the uphill climb. Through his labored breaths, there was the slightest tremor that traveled from his chest to where he stood pressed against his brother.
"…Scared me, too."
"Hey, whatever happened up there," Sonic broke the silence, his voice drawing Tails back down beside him. "Whatever you did, I'll bet it was seriously way past cool." He glanced over at him, waiting to catch his eye before giving him a wink.
All too easily, Tails grinned up at him, the shape of his smile the spitting image of his brother's. "Way past is definitely one way to put it."
———
Five years later…
———
"You've been quiet all day, partner. Something going on in that big brain of yours?"
Everyone else had split off for the night. Team Dark vanished sometime after lunch, after Rouge once again tricked Shadow into accompanying her, and Team Chaotix had an appointment for their next case. Amy took Cream back home to Vanilla while Tangle and Whisper left to help Jewel out with some Restoration business.
Which left just Sonic and Tails lounging on the couch; the former picking up where Vector had left off in the game he'd been playing, tapping away at the controller while the latter watched.
Tails hummed in acknowledgement, so Sonic let him have a minute of quiet to collect his thoughts. He picked at one of Whisper's cinnamon muffins, crumbs scattering across the coffee table, but he didn't eat any of it. He hadn't had much of an appetite since slinking out of his lab earlier that afternoon.
It probably had something to do with the quiet and the way he'd been kinda clingy. Sonic had planned on going for a run as soon as Tails retreated back to his lab to tinker with whatever gadgets he had tucked away back there, but he seemed pretty content to stay curled up on the couch beside him. Still, Sonic could adapt. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and slumped back into the cushions as he wandered aimlessly around in a game he couldn't remember owning.
"Do you remember that time you went up against Eggman's seven fake titans?"
Sonic let out a low whistle. "Boy, is that a blast from the past. What about it?"
When Tails didn't immediately continue, Sonic pressed the pause button, then shifted against the cushion to sit up and face his not-so-little-anymore bro. The sixteen-year-old fox tore his gaze from the screen to watch him instead, eyes bright from television's glow. Looking at him like that, for a split second, Sonic could still see the insecure, little fox kit he used to be in the way his shoulders hunched up as if to make himself smaller. To take up less space in the world.
Sonic draped one arm along the back of the couch, leaving space for him to lean into if he wanted it. No matter how big he got, there'd always be space for him.
Tails scooted closer and rested his head against Sonic's arm. "I needed to disrupt the satellite signal powering the Chaos Emerald vaults, but Eggman locked me out of the remote connection so I had to access it directly—"
"On the actual satellite," Sonic interjected, fingers drumming against the back of the couch. "I remember."
Tails released a long exhale. "Well, he set a trap. A way to slow me down so I wouldn't be able to unlock the emeralds for you in time. The same code that would disrupt the satellite's signal would also cause it to self-destruct. Eggman banked on me having enough self-preservation that I wouldn't engage it without trying to disable that function first."
"But you set it off anyway."
"I set it off anyway," Tails confirmed with a decisive nod. "It was the outcome with the highest percentage of saving people. The fastest way to help you guys. I thought I could get out in time. I should've gotten out in time," his voice lowered, eyes distant as if he was reliving the moment right there on their couch. "But I couldn't. Not on my own. I needed… help."
Sonic tried to follow him there, even if he didn't much like to relive that day in his waking hours. "So you called me."
"Not… exactly." Tails sat up straighter so he could look him in the eye. "I knew you'd come get me if I asked, but then countless lives would've been lost if the titans had gone on unchecked, even if just for a couple of seconds. Sometimes that's all it takes…" Tails's fist clenched as he dropped his hardened gaze to his lap. "I made the call to initiate the self-destruct in order to save people. I couldn't take that back. I couldn't take you away from them. Not again."
A younger Sonic would've snapped at him—would've argued over the value of his life with him until he wasn't the only one blue in the face. But at twenty-three, Sonic had fought more of these battles than he cared to count and never once walked away a winner. So he sat back, held his tongue, and let Tails explain himself.
"I called you to say goodbye," his voice lowered to a whisper, "I wanted to give you that, at least.”
He'd had a feeling. It wasn't one he dwelled on freely, but sometimes the thought wandered in uninvited. Moreso during the first couple of months after the incident, when everything was still fresh and closer to their present.
Before Sonic could respond, Tails pressed forward. "But then an older version of myself traveled through time with two Chaos Emeralds to save me. He said it was the only way. Because at the time, only the two of us knew what transpired on the satellite. We created a temporal paradox, a loop without a proper origin, but as long as it was contained between the two versions of me, nothing could disrupt it. That's why I couldn't tell you before. I wasn't sure… I didn't know if the future version of myself had told you what happened and if that would open up possibilities in the time stream that would botch the encounter entirely." Tails lifted his gaze to seek out Sonic's again, and he could see the eleven-year-old sitting in front of him like it was that very same day. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."
"Nothing to apologize for, bud. I get it. I wouldn't want to mess up the time stream for that particular moment either." Sonic shifted the arm draped along the couch so he could cup the back of Tails's head, idly ruffling the fur there. "But if you're telling me all this now…" he drawled, moving to scritch behind Tails's ear. "Charmy wasn't the one who swiped Shadow's Chaos Emerald earlier, was he?"
Tails shrugged, muzzle quirking up on one side. "When he showed up with it today, I just had this feeling that it was time to make my move…" Tails explained. "I've been feeling it for a couple weeks now, to be honest. I had all the equipment I'd had on me that day and I looked close enough to how I remembered. I knew I probably had to go back soon. Just needed everything to align so no one would interfere. Today seemed good…"
Sonic tilted his head as Tails trailed off, his eyes still a little distant. "Well, you made it back in one piece, didn't you? Mission accomplished."
"Yeah. Mission accomplished," he echoed, but whatever was on his mind continued to fester. "I thought I made a mistake."
"Hm?"
"There were only three seconds left," Tails whispered. "I thought I messed it all up. I thought I killed us both—"
"You—"
"I was so sure it would work because it already had, but there was still the possibility I could've gotten it wrong. I could've caused a split in our realities. Created two timelines where I ceased to exist, except in this one no one would've known what happened to me and two of the Chaos Emeralds would be lost to time. How would any of you have known where to look?" Tails rambled, pressing his hands over his face. "I estimated the time of day with a standard deviation of a couple of seconds, but those seconds could've been what killed us—"
"Hey, hey, hey," Sonic hushed, shifting to wrap both arms around his little brother as he slumped against him. "You didn't. You're here. You're right here with me, see?" He gave him a firm squeeze, smile tugging at his muzzle as Tails hugged him back tightly. "Atta boy."
"Stupid…" he mumbled into Sonic's shoulder. "Why does this still work so well?"
"Heh. What're big brothers for?" Sonic huffed out a chuckle. "Listen, you can't live a life of what-ifs, bud. It'll drive you outta your mind. I should know. And I know you know that, too." He felt Tails's nod against his cheek. "You did exactly what you set out to do. And heck, you used the Chaos Emeralds to travel through time! When did you learn how to do that, huh? Holding out on your big bro?"
Tails snorted, but it got him to relax enough to pull back. "Figured if I could use Chaos Control, time travel was just an added boost. Like adding a supercharger to the Tornado's engine."
"Tch. You figured." Sonic rolled his eyes, but the warmth in them was nothing but fond. "Give yourself a little more credit. You did something incredible today, Tails. You defied time and space to save yourself. And not only that, you gave yourself a future to look forward to. Because who wouldn't want to turn out to be like you?"
It was Tails's turn to roll his eyes, though it was his own chuckle that betrayed him. "That's what I told me."
"And wiser words were never spoken," Sonic assured him as he gave his knee a firm pat.
"I dunno. Could make a case for the consequences of rewriting timelines and creating unsustainable permutations of past and future events." Tails grinned.
"Now you’re just being smart," Sonic snorted.
"Well, I am a genius." Tails bumped his shoulder to Sonics. "But I also learned from the best. Even eleven-year-old me picked up on that."
"Well, he's a genius, too. He knows what's up." Sonic slung his arm around Tails’s shoulder, this time his turn to watch as his brother picked up the video game controller to continue where Sonic left off.
He let him, taking his turn to be content as he watched Tails figure out the game faster than he did and go farther than Sonic could. They said nothing for a few minutes, Tails working out the rest of his pent up feelings through the game while Sonic quietly processed what he'd just been told. He wasn't a stranger to time travel, not by a long shot, but even so, it wasn't what he thought the answer to that day had been. As much faith he had in his best friend, his self-sacrificial tendencies were something he couldn't help but take notice of. After all, he'd learned from the best, hadn't he?
But it wasn't with bitterness or disdain when he set his gaze on the teen beside him. That wasn't possible; not when he saw every age at once. Not when he was in absolute awe of how far his kid had come.
"Tails."
"Sonic," Tails answered instinctively, matching his tone with the hint of a crooked smile.
"Thanks for saving him."
Tails blinked and paused the game so he could look at Sonic. In the light from the television screen, green eyes glimmered with a depth that took him back to a younger version of his big bro, who was trying to do everything in his power to be there for him. Because he wanted to be. Because he needed to be.
One tail curled around Sonic's back and draped over his lap, giving back the same reassurance he always gave so freely.
"Anytime, big bro."
#manynerdthings#don't know if this is anything like how you envision - but the idea possessed me and I wanted to try and see how it'd go!#love an excuse to make sonic suffer~#sorry not sorry sonic#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#sonic and tails#they're brothers your honor#unbreakable bond#sonic fanfiction#the picket fence timeline#skimmilk stories#super sonic#hurt/comfort#light angst#brothers bonding#brotherly love#found family#time travel#long post#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday#because it's wednesday and I'm feeling wholesome in this chili's tonight#~4500 words#this thing's almost as long as the original wtf happened
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i doodled The Guy™
i want to make my own little designs for the sonic characters but mobians are still so hard to drawww 💔
#my art#sth#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic fanart#sth fanart#yes youre seeing it right im actually posting a drawing. are you proud of me#i wanted to do more (and better) but im still going through every horror so this is all i have to offer tonight#i didnt even want to post this but ive come around to it. he looks very cutes 🫶
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Daisy: You know after having spent 25 years alone and unloved I really thought searching for my birth parents would be the only way I could find a family but you know what this team is kind of-
Daisy: OK so at least one of my team is a traitor and my birth parents are alive they're just evil monsters. Cool cool cool I am once again not feeling very safe and secure
Daisy: Oh actually wait my bio parents love me? They want me? I can make a home here mayb-
Daisy: Oh never mind my mom just tried to murder me. And my dad is still a monster but he's agreed to have his memory wiped. At least he's still breathing I guess?
Daisy: Good news is I still have my found family parents so at least-
Daisy: Aaaaand found family dad is dead. You know what this is fine as long as I just have-
Daisy:
Daisy: Universe. Universe listen to me very closely. You bring back my found family mom right fucking now. If I have all four of my parents die on me I will destroy this world just like you all said I would
Daisy: OK good. We found a nice compromise. I get to keep one parent and don't have to watch four of them die. Oh hey it's my bio mom from another timeline where she didn't get tortured into insanity and could actually love-
Daisy: Are you fucking KIDDING me.
#aos#aos spoilers#aos rambles#daisy johnson#thinking about the universe's favourite chewtoy of tragedy tonight#The narrative said losing your parents twice isn't enough we're going to have all four of them die at least once.#Your bio mom dies twice as compensation for keeping may and robot coulson#No but for real if I was her I would be convinced fate had it out for me. I would fist fight it in a parking lot#and not just for the parents deaths for the little things#the first time a parental figure tries to tell her she loves her Daisy is 27. Her mom gets knocked out before she can actually say it#it takes two more years for her to get that first i love you from coulson#the amount of tragedy and grief this one character has survived is so crazy I want to sit in on just one therapy session#just to see how deeply out of his depth the therapist is#marvel
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rewatching night at the museum for the first time in a while and wow. i missed this film.
#JEDTAVIUS#MY BELOVEDS#got into a heated argument w my brother on jedediah's name#cause no he isnt called JEREMY#thats bmc#thx robin williams for teaching me what teddy roosevelt did since my history teacher sure didnt#as much as i love this movie sadly i can ignore the plot holes#how did larry manage to learn enough things about the majority of the stuff at the museum#in a day#teach me your ways#Opinions on the animals?#the t rex is a treasure#fuck dexter tho#i dont wanna see that primate ever again in my life#btw its so funny how teddy talking to ahkmenrah is like#HA! YOU DIDNT GO OUT FOR 54 YEARS SURE AS HELL IM NOT FREEING YOU TONIGHT#meanwhile 2 nights later#idk how y'all watched the film but in the italian dub ahkmenrah has the most OUTRAGEOUS british accent#and while he probably has it even in english in italian it sounds very weird and very funny#a new thing crossed my mind this rewatch tho#wow those are civil war fighters. would have been cool to have the founding fathers too.#soooooo did anyone write a night at the museum au for hamilton#asking for a friend#and if someone is actually reading this.#Idk how much ive written but people dont you have anything better to do than to read my thoughts on this 2006 film#(thank you for reading my thoughts on this 2006 film)#lastquickthought#rebecca fangirling over sakagawea is me at convention w cosplayers#thanks for coming to the impromptu ted talk#ig???
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im never forgetting when i beat sv for the first time and got ed sheeran jumpscared
#you see tonight could go either way#hearts balanced on a razor blade#we are designed to love and break and to#rinse and repeat it all again#i get stuck when the worlds too loud and#things dont look up when youre going down#know your arms are reachin out from#somewhere beyond the clouds#you make me feel#like my troubled heart is a million miles away#you make me feel...#like im drunk on stars and we're dancing out into space#celestial#celestialllllllll#we were made to be#nothing more than this#finding magic in#all the smallest things#and we notice that#what really matters lets#make tonight go on and on and on#just for clarification: i dont like the song that much its just catchy
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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.
#You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from#zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us outta here I#been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into#the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living See my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle#that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working His body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted#more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car Is it#fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision Leave tonight or live and die this way So I remember when we were driving#driving in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder#And I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car We go cruising#entertain ourselves You still ain't got a job And I work in the market as a checkout girl I know things will get better You'll find work and#I'll get promoted We'll move out of the shelter Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs So I remember when we were driving driving in#your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I had#a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car I got a job that pays all our bills#You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together#you and me'd find it I got no plans I ain't going nowhere Take your fast car and keep on driving So I remember when we were driving driving#in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And#I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone be someone be someone You got a fast car Is it fast enough so you can#fly away?You gotta make a decisionLeave tonight or live and die this way#le song shouting
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thinking about older women
#hey auntie 👉🏾👈🏾#some of them b dancing on that line and i am looking respectfully (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#many such cases... giggling at how often w how many ppl aksjak family friends.. or it be ur own family 💀💕#someone's mom would joke about snatching me up like 😭😶🌫️ ma'am first of all .. would#and the touchy prima (〒﹏〒) ♡ yes please put ur hands on me i am so comfortable with physical contact ( ꈍᴗꈍ) let me hold ur hand ♡#🚶🏾♀️ being hot is nice sometimes#the forbidden fruit... hey tía (´ . .̫ . `) 👉🏾👈🏾💕#some of the exchanges I've had were so 😵💫😵💫 ma'am.. i got a lil crush on u.#← not my actual family. i do not have one. engaging in one from this perspective is a lil different yfm 🚶🏾♀️u don't have to get it#or maybe u do idk im zooted rn and feeling rly gay abt aunties and older women in general okay 😩💕#i need to go sweet talk someone's tía i know she's looking beautiful tonight 🚶🏾♀️ i see u girl. i love ur hair your nails are beautiful#i love your color coordination you have such good fashion sense ( ꈍᴗꈍ) ♡#ur earrings are so pretty i love your necklace i love your bracelets (。ノω\。) lemme go help y'all cook or I'll make the drinks whateve#let's talk.. ♡#Lupe... what are you up to these days 😩💕 my favorite. a family friend#i kinda see family friends as family too sorta bc my fam was p small when i did have one so a friend would be a basically auntie#but also not.. technically. so ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭ idk. they r tías 2 me though and i love them.#they r so nicey 2 me 。:゚(;´∩`;)゚:。 ♡#she wanted me to say her name n talk to her in Spanish a lil bit and she ate it up 😵💫 (。ノω\。) ♡ she loved the way i say her name#i had such a crush on her omfg. low-key but not but yeah but respectfully..
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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.
#just a little food for thought#I'm thinking bc I'm high af#I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain#I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit#but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms#and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia#like I 100% definitively know what it is#I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month#so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently#things to look forward to with the new job#anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company#it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever#no they don't give full time by merit in my company#I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires#and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw#anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog#fibromyalgia#>.>#kudos to those who read this far#your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude#🐦⬛ a friend for you
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I'm sure one or perhaps even two people have wondered where my horror thinking comes from, and well, you see, I'm really fucking good at scaring the shit out of myself with only my thoughts
#Also very frequent nightmares but that's less important#If you're alone just think to yourself Hey what's the Worst thing I could see or hear right now#And there you go#For example I thought to myself Huh it Almost looked like someone was sitting at the kitchen table as I walked past#Now how would I feel if I walked back and there was in fact. Someone sitting there that shouldn't be? What would I do?#There ya go#If you're anything like me you've now spooked yourself#Tonight's slightly spooky comic idea is#What if you were talking to your friend with their back turned and they say something that makes you doubt its them#Not an art#Talky Talky Tuesday
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3 Will Be Free - Circus
Last July I said I would let people choose the next video edit I made and here it is! Thank you for your patience as the polls said I had to make this drunk and I do not drink that often. But I hope everyone enjoys this drunken mess of a video.
#3 will be free#3 will be free the series#rae makes video edits#but rae i can hear you say you didn't include THE kiss#i know i know but here's the thing is i couldn't break up the kiss scene#and i only had like 3 minutes to work with so in order to include literally any other show that kiss did not make it into this video#anyway i made this based solely on vibes#i feel like you can really see where my drunk brain took over#though i don't feel very drunk right now#but based on how much alcohol i've had tonight i am actually wasted#do not trust me when i say i feel completely sober#i am most definitely not#anyway this was an interesting project that i will probably not do again#at least not drunk because hoooooo boy this was hard to make#i'm gonna stop rambling in the tags now and go to bed i think#good night everyone i love you *kisses your forehead*
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