#or if its fixable

[peculiarity]

thinking abt an old friendship at 5am.... burdened with thr urge to reach out to them but knowing that would likely be bad. knowing that it was a toxic relationship and would never have ended well, but rereading our last messages i see that i was too willing to bend over and take 95% of the blame for why it was awful when it was at best 50/50, and at worst they were unbelievably manipulative.

glad they're out of my life but missing the feeling of being wanted as a friend. being seen as someone worth talking to. of being wanted. of having friends that wanted you in multiple ways

i dont know that this makes any sense but i am filled with melancholy and i just want to sleep

[seiwas]

HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33

SAINTTT hello 🥺 thank you for sending a prompty!! 🥹 idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!

help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!

contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives

mattsun + campfire

"i told you we should've brought the spare—"

"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."

"asshole."

lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.

you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?

(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed fun―at least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)

"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.

and you hate it, because―

lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.

you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.

with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.

you sigh.

leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.

you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.

matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.

the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. until―

"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.

"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."

then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."

"what?"

"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."

his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy

you don't know how to feel―

"i can sleep in the car."

―but you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.

so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."

"are you sure?" he stares at you.

you nod.

after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.

it’s much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth you’ve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.

he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.

"issei," you whisper.

he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.

"it's cold."

for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.

but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to be―noses touching and all.

"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.

you nod, your head shifting up and down—which, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.

in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.

"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.

his question settles into the small space you're in.

your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.

when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, because―

lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.

[ratlezbian]

Man the hole left behind after Reneé left the show is just…so obvious.. this season is extremely hard to watch and it feels so icky how leighton was bascially replaced by an annoying as fuck theatre girl roommate and a queer “mean” blonde British girl who is not even part of the main cast. MESS…

[occultradio]

General reminder if you want to play with real aliens

Awhile back when the horse ep came out EA changed code for aliens, so if presets and cc doesn't really show up for them this is why.

You'll need the most up to date sims4studio and run a few batch fixes (however, this can break script/gameplay and some no eyelash mods, so remove them first. you can put them back after)

Also, most people forget to enable things for them, so s4s will quickly become your best friend.

[napo-leo-art]

Not dreams. No.

[a-dragons-journal]

Forgive me for showing my fangs a little here instead of being as delicate in phrasing as I usually am, but. Periodic reminder:

sweeping "humans suck, humans are evil, the world would be better off if humans disappeared/had never evolved" statements may be cathartic but they're thoroughly inaccurate (ie, the vast majority of uniquely bad effects of humans on the planet are a) extremely recent, like within the last couple centuries, b) the fault of an extremely small minority not the entire fucking species, and c) fixable)

hating being human isn't the same as hating humans. I get species dysphoria is a thing. I get that it's often hard to fit in as a nonhuman in human social groups and that can make it easy to slip into hating everyone around you. Please fight that instinct

villainizing people for traits they didn't choose, such as the species they were born into, is neither cute nor fair. No species is inherently good or bad

misanthropy is cathartic in short term vents or whatever but genuinely embracing it wholesale as a philosophy is liable to lead to you hating humans, human society, and being in a human body more and more over time and thus make your life worse by constantly reinforcing a thought pattern that makes you angry and upset

you are not immune to being part of human society (translation: just because you're nonhuman doesn't mean you're not included in statements about the effects of the human population on the world, ie "humans are killing the planet")

related, you are not better than humans for being nonhuman. looking at my fellow dragons in particular on this one. I get it, draconic pride is a thing, dragon brain probably says you're the supreme being and all else is beneath you especially anyone who annoys you. Mine does too. Please recognize that is an instinct you are supposed to FIGHT, not something that's TRUE AND THAT YOU SHOULD EMBRACE. Good fucking gods.

some nonhumans are also human (it's me, I'm some nonhumans) and you are making sweeping "humans suck, why would I ever want to be human, all humans do is kill the planet" statements in the presence of people included in those statements, which is insanely rude (and no, you don't get to "but you're different because you're nonhuman" me! you do not get to decide to ignore half of who I am because you don't like it, you do not get to decide I'm not "really" human, and also see the previous bullet point). this goes doubly if you're in a space like a DIscord server where people have expressly stated they're not comfortable being tacitly included in statements like that

saying "but I don't REALLY mean all humans, I just mean the specific ones at fault!" after the fact does not actually change anything if every other thing you say is constantly "humans humans humans" and not the group you're actually referring to, or at the very least doesn't change how it reads to everyone around you

[goldenstorm0]

New pen practice! Top is just the new Opus 88, bottom is with black extras

I actually like it more without the black, I need to learn to just trust myself to not need to outline everything and figure out other ways to show depth. But whatever ~<3~ still really happy with it <3

[napping-sapphic]

I swear the most hated enemy in this life is your best friend’s self-loathing

[oddberryshortcake]

It's killing me that Lilia has spent a lot of time and money taking Silver to different medical mages/doctors to see exactly what's wrong with him and why he's so sleepy

When Idia was able to do a quick analysis on Grim and discover that he has a 1000 year old curse placed on him

STYX is literally the only place capable of giving him the answer he's been searching for

[sol-consort]

"The dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. My guilt will not purify me"

that qoute lives in my head rent free.

(who said it, btw? I tried to find a source before the tumblr user @/ojibwa posted it and nothing came up)

[kiliinstinct]

Bad News.

Flame's Desire will not be starting back up this month due to me having an accident that's left me on bed rest for a time.

Once I'm physically healthy again, I will try my best to get ACT 3 started for y'all.

[smowyashe]

"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation"

me with about ten personality disorders, most of which no medication exists for and which cannot be cured or fixed and will only get worse over time:

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

My dr self insert is the Ultimate Lucky Student for a reason. I got into a lab position (something ive wanted my entire degree) out of genuine sheer luck but today my gonta phone charms, Tsumugi shaker charm, and my fucking APARTMENT KEY BROKE OFF

[swallowtail-ageha]

Every time a shounen becomes popular and every time when that shounen ends people get extremely mad it isn't a dissertion on societal dynamics and structures and pro communist revolution. Without fail

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

also what youre telling me is that american children movies lied to me and you all agree that pbj is the worst possible sandwich in existence

[ialpiriel]

Car done broke :(