#or if i had just kept my mouth shut

[kopivie]

i can't be mad at the lack of celebration (and overall energy, really) on my birthday because really, i asked for this. not outright, but literally as i was typing this, my mother asked what i wanted to do and i just.. can't give her an answer. i literally have no idea why i'm so stiff about it — you'd think i would want a little bit of something, but i... i dunno.

but i do feel... eh... melancholy, i suppose. i don't feel happy, that's for damn sure. i can't cry necessarily, but i just... am very sad. don't really know why. i'm trying to stay happy, i am. and it sounds stupid for me, the person who actively avoids any sort of celebration and excitement on their birthday, to be so bummed out by the lack of enthusiasm, but... i guess i feel unimportant? i don't get gifts or anything like that either. not like i have any business feeling that way when i literally did this to myself, but... the feeling's still there.

it's 2:15 now, and i'm still in my pjs just.. playing video games. i ordered some food with the last of my money and... yeah. that's just it. it's just a normal day. nothing special. that's what's getting me, i guess. nothing special happened on this day. i have a lot of growing to do before i consider myself important enough to be excited/hold my birthday in high enough regard that i actually do something.

(update: they canceled my order, lol. so i'm just not gonna bother anymore. i'm emotionally drained.)

[dekarios]

im literally so sick to death of finding out the person who was telling my friends im into incest with zero proof to make them block me, while telling everyone i accused them of being a pedo to make them block me, literally posted on their blog my fucking name saying if youre friends with fray block me, AND allowed people who dislike me already to misgender me to them without correcting their pronoun usage despite previously being my friend and knowing my pronouns, is constantly posting i am the victim woe is me i isolated myself and no one likes me anymore posts and saying theyre leaving tumblr to come back 5 hours later fucking weekly or straight up remaking over and over, all because you cannot fucking apologise for the shit you did, not even just to me but multiple people you wronged, OFC PEOPLE DONT LIKE YOU youre a chronic fucking liar who runs away when you get caught in your lies, WHOS COOL WITH MISGENDERING TRANS FOLKS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zootopiathingz]

My mom and I got into an argument earlier bc I said I wasn’t voting for trump and ever since she’s been acting kinda distant from me wtf do I do

[piplupod]

are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me

[art-from-the-pantry]

Just posting this so I can delete it on my devices and know where to find this should I ever need it again (unlikely)

[bunnyb34r]

Still baffling to me how somedays I get a physical ticket at the movies and others I don't

I dont think it's based off of when I use my movie credit, bc I didn't get them most of the times I've used it

But I know I got one for Oppenheimer, I think shrek 2? Idr, and I got one today for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Movie was okay. I mean it was good, but I don't think I'd watch it again. I might see if i can find the previous movies and watch them, bc the overall lore seems cool

Got to cut in line for snacks lol bc there was a middle school class there and the kids were weaving in and out back and forth in line and there was like me and 4 other adults that didnt come with the kids in line. So one of the teachers/chaperones escorted us (by slipping under the rope barrier lmao) to the front which was really nice

I mean I was early early to the show today anyway so I could have waited (would've been annoyed but I'd have waited) but it was really nice. I hope the kids enjoyed their movie day though

[eggplantemoji420]

When I was in Bangkok last year, we got a shared bus to the airport. It was just after October 7th and one of the men who got on the bus had his Israeli passport on his lap. An American couple asked him how he was and his face went so fkn dark and he just said ‘I’m going to kill them all’ and I think about him often. I wonder how many children he’s killed or tortured and I wonder if he thinks loosing his humanity has been worth all the suffering…

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

bitches hate me 'cause im in my no fucks given era, and I'm like, 'stay mad darling'

[mercymaker]

it's so annoying when people think that their choice of romance in a video game makes them somehow superior

[hella1975]

there's this one girl at work who thinks she's the Waitress Supreme literally is convinced the goddess of waitresses shat her out and stuck her in a barely-functioning pub in the arsecrack of england and today i was soooo poorly and sickly and weak and feeble literally on death's door cough coughu oug h etc and still had to do a 12-10 shift bc i need MONEY, so safe to say i was not in the mood for her omd. like this girl is not a manager. she is not even a supervisor. she is a student that, while working full-time, comes and goes in regards to her studies. so tell me WHY she tries to give me orders as if she's not only in a position to do so but also like she's singlehandedly running the fucking military. 'that cutlery hasn't been polished yet' 'why are you making drinks for the chefs when there's tables to clear' 'B2 havent had their menus'. all incredibly valid points when you give each problem at least 2 minutes to naturally resolve itself AND the problem in question is in your section AND you speak to people with a friendly, helpful tone instead of the most patronising bitchy voice you ever heard. i wanted to kill her dead i literally had to just ignore her every time she spoke to me even if it did come across rude like it was either that or lose my job to an ABH charge.

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

at least everyone has that instead of wondering why

cause i'm never a bridesmaid, never will be a bride

and i've sat on my floor and cried

i can't figure it out, why i'm never enough

can't walk down the aisle in white or maroon

and i can't even gather up the courage to ask the tough stuff

like why did you change your mind, why leave me on the outside, why never even tell me why?

cause i sit here thinking that i'm not enough

enough times without you changing your mind

saying that i can't walk behind you as a bridesmaid while you are a bride

and i'm not trying to damper this joyous occasion

maybe that's why I've bit my tongue and tried self persuasion

cause every single one of your friends is involved - except for me

and i can't help but drown in my misery

i feel like i failed some kind of test

cause everyone's a bridesmaid

everyone's a bride

and i'm stuck on the sidelines

wondering why

[littlepetbee]

cannot relate to anyone who willingly tells authority figures things. or who just...volunteers information to them without being asked?? bitch if they want to know anything, they can come to me. this mouth stays closed unless it's forcibly pried tf open and even then the words are shoved through eight different filters before they come out, perfectly form-fitted to whichever Person With Power Over Me is fucking asking. be smart about it! grow up!

[jacksintention]

I can't with the previous post. It's just so good applied to Levi, Lacie, Oswald and even Jack.

Levi has his hands tied by the Baskerville system that is a sort of scam by the Jurors‚ like every Glen. But he says "let's just create a change" and gives a will to the Core. And he does so with the full intention of changing the narrative, if just to avoid the boredom of spending eternity watching the same thing happen over and over again from a sit in someone else's mind.

Lacie goes along with it because of her desire to ease the Core's loneliness, but in her idea of the children of misfortune being a consequence of this loneliness and her feelings of doubt or reservations, perhaps, revealed even before the tree scene in the scene in which she talks about this with Oswald, we could interpret this as her desire to end the existence of the children of misfortune and thus the cycle.

Jack plays into this in his attempt to take the "real" world to the "Abyss" world, but when he most consciously twists the narrative the Jurors had settled was when he intently made the decision to take the power from the Baskervilles. And I do think it has to do with ending the very system that doomed Lacie and Oswald and he deemed cruel and like torture, but mainly it is so that no one would interfere with him in the future.

Oswald tries to destroy the new narrative Jack has or is creating first by trying to stop him, but later on by trying to stop Levi's schemes before everything happened, resettling the narrative he was controlled and doomed by, serving still as their tool. And then he literally faces the truth, in the most explicitly way no one ever has been told this in that "real" world before, and threatens to kill the instigators of that narrative. And then just renounces, in a lack of action that is him at his most active ("not with a bang but a whimper", how fitting is that?!!!).

Ultimately there is a middle ground but the narrative is changed for good. For better or worse. With uncertain future consequences. But it is changed, and it feels kinder. And as a thank you the source of every narrative, the ink and paper of the narrative, lulls someone who shouldn't have existed but changed the world to sleep by telling him a different story. Because that's it. They're stories, and Oz deserved to go with a kinder one, because the ink and paper of the narrative loves him. And it's so interesting how that works metanarratively too. The author tells the story, but the author tells the reader a story about the stroy telling a softer version of the story, so that the reader too will get it alongside Oz. That works on several levels and it's so so interesting.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

the urge to take certain classmates and RIP OFF THEIR STUPID HEADS BESTIE UR HAVING A CATEGORY ONE PISS ON THE POOR MOMENT AND I'M ABOUT TO ATTEMPT TO KUNG POW PENIS YOU IN A CHAT OF NON-TUMBLRITES. SHUT THE HELL UP

[toastsnaffler]

worked a whole hour of unpaid overtime on top of the half hour paid overtime I agreed to do all bc one of the directors turned up an hour late to our technical meeting and would not stop yapping...... 🙄😑

[drewbydrewbydrew]

I have a fucking master's degree and I've been beaten by a fucking couch and a coffee table