#or if i had just kept my mouth shut
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i can't be mad at the lack of celebration (and overall energy, really) on my birthday because really, i asked for this. not outright, but literally as i was typing this, my mother asked what i wanted to do and i just.. can't give her an answer. i literally have no idea why i'm so stiff about it — you'd think i would want a little bit of something, but i... i dunno.
but i do feel... eh... melancholy, i suppose. i don't feel happy, that's for damn sure. i can't cry necessarily, but i just... am very sad. don't really know why. i'm trying to stay happy, i am. and it sounds stupid for me, the person who actively avoids any sort of celebration and excitement on their birthday, to be so bummed out by the lack of enthusiasm, but... i guess i feel unimportant? i don't get gifts or anything like that either. not like i have any business feeling that way when i literally did this to myself, but... the feeling's still there.
it's 2:15 now, and i'm still in my pjs just.. playing video games. i ordered some food with the last of my money and... yeah. that's just it. it's just a normal day. nothing special. that's what's getting me, i guess. nothing special happened on this day. i have a lot of growing to do before i consider myself important enough to be excited/hold my birthday in high enough regard that i actually do something.
(update: they canceled my order, lol. so i'm just not gonna bother anymore. i'm emotionally drained.)
#[ 🌱 — blah blah. ]#i really...#i was feeling really good up until today#i tried so hard to stay enthusiastic#i tried so so so goddamn hard#i just can't fucking do it#i hate today#i have for years#if i had just... not been a coward in 2018#or if i had just kept my mouth shut#maybe i'd be doing something fun! or at the very least been obnoxious because hey! i'm worth noticing!#...fucking pathetic dawg
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im literally so sick to death of finding out the person who was telling my friends im into incest with zero proof to make them block me, while telling everyone i accused them of being a pedo to make them block me, literally posted on their blog my fucking name saying if youre friends with fray block me, AND allowed people who dislike me already to misgender me to them without correcting their pronoun usage despite previously being my friend and knowing my pronouns, is constantly posting i am the victim woe is me i isolated myself and no one likes me anymore posts and saying theyre leaving tumblr to come back 5 hours later fucking weekly or straight up remaking over and over, all because you cannot fucking apologise for the shit you did, not even just to me but multiple people you wronged, OFC PEOPLE DONT LIKE YOU youre a chronic fucking liar who runs away when you get caught in your lies, WHOS COOL WITH MISGENDERING TRANS FOLKS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#fray.txt#ive kept my mouth shut on this for MONTHS but i am fucking TIRED#ask me who it is if u want i dont fucking care i am SICK to death#of STILL encountering people who shyly ask me if im into incest- something i am a victim of and intensely triggered by#the amount of people who blocked me but came back cuz they felt guilty for not asking my side first#then saw i have like 20 screenshots of proof that everything u were spreading about me is LIES - and i still have them btw!#and apologises profusely to me cuz u were literally just SAYING SHIT and i screenshotted EVERYTHING#like yeah maybe i would have forgiven u if u had ever once apologised and owned up for it#but i just hear thru the grapevine ur posting shit on tumblr like 'i did this to myself .. im so lonely ... no one likes me..' I WONDER WHY
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
My mom and I got into an argument earlier bc I said I wasn’t voting for trump and ever since she’s been acting kinda distant from me wtf do I do
#I should’ve just kept my mouth shut like always#but like. she was talking abt buying tr*mp merch and talking abt how he’s our ‘savior’ wtf was I supposed to do#when will I learn that saying anything around my family will only get me in trouble and/or made fun of#lady luxo rambles#no arguments pls I’ve had enough of that already
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just posting this so I can delete it on my devices and know where to find this should I ever need it again (unlikely)
#tw suggestive#bendy and the ink machine#sammy lawrence#au#Does this make any sense in my au? No#I just made this for fun and because I was in the mood for some shading and stuff#really liked the outcome too!#but you know how it is#my fucked up little brain decides to be extra nice to me and make me have a whole panic attack over my art and style and anatomy#because of some (harmless) criticism I wouldn’t even have gotten if I had kept my damn mouth shut 👌#gotta love it <3#I wouldn’t have posted this tho if I didn’t want to desperately get it out of my gallery lest I risk making it worse#so a win for anyone who likes it! Have fun with it
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Still baffling to me how somedays I get a physical ticket at the movies and others I don't
I dont think it's based off of when I use my movie credit, bc I didn't get them most of the times I've used it
But I know I got one for Oppenheimer, I think shrek 2? Idr, and I got one today for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Movie was okay. I mean it was good, but I don't think I'd watch it again. I might see if i can find the previous movies and watch them, bc the overall lore seems cool
Got to cut in line for snacks lol bc there was a middle school class there and the kids were weaving in and out back and forth in line and there was like me and 4 other adults that didnt come with the kids in line. So one of the teachers/chaperones escorted us (by slipping under the rope barrier lmao) to the front which was really nice
I mean I was early early to the show today anyway so I could have waited (would've been annoyed but I'd have waited) but it was really nice. I hope the kids enjoyed their movie day though
#marquilla#im gonna put my physical tickets in my scrapbook when i finally get back into that#not that i really did much aside from taping stuff on scrapbook paper and putting it in a scrapbook binder#but i had saved all my ticket stubs from when i went in high school with my friends#anyways while i was annoyed as hell with the kids weaving in and out of line the other adults (not with them) kept our mouths shut#bc we know that's just how middle schoolers are and it was an exciting field trip for them#but god were we relieved when the guy let us go 😭 agdggdgdg#i should write down the movies ive seen this year lol it has to have been like 7? at least? idk i go a lot bc it's something to do and only#$6.00-8.50 per movie since i go at like 10am so im not like dropping $20 a ticket every other week yknow dgdgdgd#plus its exposure therapy bc i had/have anxiety ab movie theaters since what happened in 2012 with that batman premiere and then#the general gun violence here so being trapped in a dark room with only 2 exits and being potentially crowded by strangers is a big stress#but im working past it... trying (meaning i go but that fear is still in my mind)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I was in Bangkok last year, we got a shared bus to the airport. It was just after October 7th and one of the men who got on the bus had his Israeli passport on his lap. An American couple asked him how he was and his face went so fkn dark and he just said ‘I’m going to kill them all’ and I think about him often. I wonder how many children he’s killed or tortured and I wonder if he thinks loosing his humanity has been worth all the suffering…
#also the American couple gave him a $100 note which is just so fkn symbolic#I kept my mouth shut bc it was before it was ok to call out Isr*el without being called antisemitic#I wish I had told him dont loose yourself for a country
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
bitches hate me 'cause im in my no fucks given era, and I'm like, 'stay mad darling'
#ice speaks#irl stuff#rant in the tags#moved into our new place a few weeks back#and had a big ass celebration after blessing the house#when an old family friend who used to babysit me told me that I've grown very big#and thats true#since we haven't seen each other since I was 10 (am 18 now)#but then my aunt just had to go and remark on my weight#keep in mind im a plus sized person and I was wearing a dress that day#and i said 'well as long as I'm healthy and happy who cares' without missing a beat#which shocked everyone because im not usually the confrontational type#i.e i just keep my mouth shut cause i genuinely don't see a reason to grace their taunts with a response#and im respectful to my elders usually#but i said it while smiling and putting on such an innocent face#that she had to agree with me and apologize in front of the 20+ people who were in the room#since she basically insulted one of the stars of the evening#she kept glaring at me after that#like maam look after your dumpster fire of a family before trying to talk shit about ME to MY FACE#you don't know that i remember what you talk about around me thinking I'm not paying attention or I wont understand what you're talking abo#also love how people think that out of everyone in my family I'm the most gullible and easily influenced#just because i dont react to what comes out of your mouth doesn't mean I am not paying attention#i may be quiet but that just means I'm more observant#on a much happier note i got a lot of compliments for my outfit and my hair#and i have a designated writing and reading spot which is making me more efficient and slowly curing my writers block
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's so annoying when people think that their choice of romance in a video game makes them somehow superior
#life#this has been in my head for ages now yet i kept my mouth shut but some people are just absolutely insufferable about it#esp with how the tables have tabled#it's a special flavor of annoying when someone attaches their whole personality to an 'unpopular' romance choice#and then props it up as being 'better' than a popular one#and it used to be the other way around back in the day so it's not like the concept is new#i was in the trenches fighting for kaidan back when mass effect was huge#and half the people acting like the choice to romance him was inferior somehow#now it's all the a*tar*on antis acting all uppity#'i'm not like other girls uwu i don't fall for the bait i'm built different i'm better'#i rarely voice my opinion on fandom meta shenanigans because.. yaknow how it goes#but GOD this grinds my gears i keep running into posts like that every other week and i've HAD IT!! OFFICIALLY!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's this one girl at work who thinks she's the Waitress Supreme literally is convinced the goddess of waitresses shat her out and stuck her in a barely-functioning pub in the arsecrack of england and today i was soooo poorly and sickly and weak and feeble literally on death's door cough coughu oug h etc and still had to do a 12-10 shift bc i need MONEY, so safe to say i was not in the mood for her omd. like this girl is not a manager. she is not even a supervisor. she is a student that, while working full-time, comes and goes in regards to her studies. so tell me WHY she tries to give me orders as if she's not only in a position to do so but also like she's singlehandedly running the fucking military. 'that cutlery hasn't been polished yet' 'why are you making drinks for the chefs when there's tables to clear' 'B2 havent had their menus'. all incredibly valid points when you give each problem at least 2 minutes to naturally resolve itself AND the problem in question is in your section AND you speak to people with a friendly, helpful tone instead of the most patronising bitchy voice you ever heard. i wanted to kill her dead i literally had to just ignore her every time she spoke to me even if it did come across rude like it was either that or lose my job to an ABH charge.
#and bc i was so ill i literally couldn't even control my face in time like normally im actually a very good actress#my skill for being a two-faced bitch is held back only by my pride and morals#so normally id find a way to politely be like 'shut the fuck up and go to your own section you're not in charge here and im HANDLING IT :)'#but today i cannot express the extent of couldn't be arsed radiating from me#had me on a 10 hour shift (6 HOURS OF WHICH WAS RUNNING FOOD) when im SICK#and im one of those people that physically im very healthy never have any problems but when i DO have problems cor blimey do i have them#so like my head was swimming had total brain fog kept getting dizzy and nauseas on top of having a stuffed nose and an awful cough#at WORK. at a WAITRESSING JOB. hell i tell you#so yeah this girl was pushing my last limit and i just knowwww i was so rude to her all day#she'd tell me to do something and id fully not even respond id just give her a LOOK#like imagine me polishing cutlery she comes over tells me to do something in my section (NOT HER BUSINESS)#and i just. pause polishing a second. look at her like she shot my dog. and then continue polishing like she never said anything#AND THAT WAS THE GOOD OUTCOME BC IF I DIDNT JUST TOTALLY BLANK HER I WOULDVE STARTED AN ARGUMENT#I WAS SO FUCKING DONE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#like i feel like a lot of this is dumb waitressing hierarchy/social no-nos so just TRUST ME that the shit she was doing was not on#if you've ever worked the catering industry ESPECIALLY floor staff then you'll get it#like the only right you have to another staff member's section is if you outrank them#if you're just another random fucking waitress let alone a STUDENT JUST LIKE ME#LIKE SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE THE AGE ANGLE TO GET THE HIERARCHY ON ME#then literally just. shut your fucking mouth. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ANOTHER WAITRESS'S SECTION#i have literally ignored tables before bc the waitress on section is one im iffy with and if i 'steal' her table it can genuinely#effect your social life at work#it's so fucked#so yeah i was rude and borderline mean to this girl but WHAT WAS SHE EVEN PLAYING AT TO BEGIN WITH#hella slaves to capitalism
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
cannot relate to anyone who willingly tells authority figures things. or who just...volunteers information to them without being asked?? bitch if they want to know anything, they can come to me. this mouth stays closed unless it's forcibly pried tf open and even then the words are shoved through eight different filters before they come out, perfectly form-fitted to whichever Person With Power Over Me is fucking asking. be smart about it! grow up!
#personal#is this a trauma response? probably. but i am adept at the art of keeping things Hushed & Handled so no one even /knows/ to ask questions#which is probably called Deception lmao but hey it means i don't have to lie to get out of things bc there /are/ no things u feel me?#anyways. i have this lovely kind coworker with such an open heart that always wants to do the right thing#so she'll 'follow up' with clients abt situations and then they end up yelling at her or cussing her out#and i wanna be like babe. Babe. just bc you are kind and wonderful it doesn't mean the ppl we work for are too.#they view us like the dirt beneath their feet and they're gonna act accordingly so you gotta.......shut your mouth#'being responsible' is nothing.....let them come to /you/#communication should be kept to a minimum and only consist of what they specifically asked for bc they have power and you don't#please. pleASE.#anyways.#one time i had a Situation at work that i needed to navigate with the best of my 'abused kid who learned to hide everything' skillz#and i'm just...going on my merry way slogging through 73 layers of shit and Angles and cooking up how to get the exact results i want#and the coworker with me at the time is watching me in a mixture of horror and awe like 'i feel like i'm witnessing the zodiac killer rn'#and i wasn't like 'hahaha no this is just years of childhood trauma :)' but it was a close thing#...oh i succeeded at the situation btw#of course. bc i'm a pro.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't with the previous post. It's just so good applied to Levi, Lacie, Oswald and even Jack.
Levi has his hands tied by the Baskerville system that is a sort of scam by the Jurors‚ like every Glen. But he says "let's just create a change" and gives a will to the Core. And he does so with the full intention of changing the narrative, if just to avoid the boredom of spending eternity watching the same thing happen over and over again from a sit in someone else's mind.
Lacie goes along with it because of her desire to ease the Core's loneliness, but in her idea of the children of misfortune being a consequence of this loneliness and her feelings of doubt or reservations, perhaps, revealed even before the tree scene in the scene in which she talks about this with Oswald, we could interpret this as her desire to end the existence of the children of misfortune and thus the cycle.
Jack plays into this in his attempt to take the "real" world to the "Abyss" world, but when he most consciously twists the narrative the Jurors had settled was when he intently made the decision to take the power from the Baskervilles. And I do think it has to do with ending the very system that doomed Lacie and Oswald and he deemed cruel and like torture, but mainly it is so that no one would interfere with him in the future.
Oswald tries to destroy the new narrative Jack has or is creating first by trying to stop him, but later on by trying to stop Levi's schemes before everything happened, resettling the narrative he was controlled and doomed by, serving still as their tool. And then he literally faces the truth, in the most explicitly way no one ever has been told this in that "real" world before, and threatens to kill the instigators of that narrative. And then just renounces, in a lack of action that is him at his most active ("not with a bang but a whimper", how fitting is that?!!!).
Ultimately there is a middle ground but the narrative is changed for good. For better or worse. With uncertain future consequences. But it is changed, and it feels kinder. And as a thank you the source of every narrative, the ink and paper of the narrative, lulls someone who shouldn't have existed but changed the world to sleep by telling him a different story. Because that's it. They're stories, and Oz deserved to go with a kinder one, because the ink and paper of the narrative loves him. And it's so interesting how that works metanarratively too. The author tells the story, but the author tells the reader a story about the stroy telling a softer version of the story, so that the reader too will get it alongside Oz. That works on several levels and it's so so interesting.
#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I was thinking a couple of days ago about how Lacie states that to Oswald in chapter 101 and how it seems to hint towards her choosing#to go through it not just in an attempt to ease the Core's loneliness but also trying to end the cycle if the children of misfortune really#originate from that. Ultimately it doesn't seem to work because even after Vincent there had kept existing new children. It could be argued#that perhaps it's due to the Will's own loneliness and isolation‚ or to the Core now being more sure about what loneliness is‚ or maybe#the author just didn't think of it further. Even after everything that happens the existence of the children of misfortune is necessary to#access the Core‚ that will now speak through Jack's body‚ Jack's mouth. So maybe Lacie's theory is true. And I like to think it is‚#but I'm biased bc I like how it works narratively and I love the concept of the children of misfortune being like emanences of the Core#and the parallelisms drawn from it. Like with Jack. Lacie's attempt to ease the Core's loneliness + chance the cycle works so well with#Jack's own intention and methods but in a twisted way‚ which works so well with how he misinterpreted her desire in his will to keep living#The Core gaining a certain sense of personhood through Lacie works very well with Jack both gaining first and then losing it for the same#The Core having a vague feeling of loneliness that Lacie recognises and knowing to acknowledge it thanks to Lacie works well with Lacie#learning to do the same through Jack‚ and with both Jack and Lacie recognising that loneliness in each other and feeling some kind of#connection and understanding due to that‚ yet not knowing it in themselves until facing the other. How that dooms them both in some ways#And now it's the typical Core/Lacie/Jack parallelisms that get a thousand faces and mirages through the story#of which I always talk and that makes me end up talking about pretty much every character in the manga and Cantor's transfinite numbers#so I will shut up already. I've already talked a lot. And sorry for the post but I couldn't fit everything in the tags#and I don't want to lose the idea‚ I want to keep on thinking about it more thoroughly#Pardon also my denomination of the worlds. Understand the " in the nietzschean sense please#Also that goes to my future self if I forget but I think I'll understand what I mean with that#I'm myself after all‚ if slightly altered‚ and live inside myself#I think there was some other clarification I wanted to make and perhaps some correction but I can't recall right now#It doesn't matter much because this is a draft for future personal pondering‚#but I hope it's not too grave as to confuse my future thoughts or that at least I will catch it later on
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
𓇼 FUCK HER, FLIP HER, BEND HER BACKWARDS !
❤︎₊‧⁺...synopsis : the church always says sex for pleasure is a sin, and nanami kento is a man of the lord. but fuck, if his wife isn't worth sinning for. wc: 4.3k
❤₊‧⁺...cw : n. kento x fem!reader, religious themes, traditionalist views on sex and marriage, loss of virginity, missionary to mating press, breeding kink, overstimulation, unprotected sex, nanami loses himself in your pussy, slight cum play, dirty talk
❤₊‧⁺...lunar's note : am i unintentionally coping with religious trauma? possibly but it is fun :33 anyways based of this! forgive me if my writing is a bit rusty, it's been a while but enjoy !!
the two of you have spoken about eventually having children many times, but knowing the steps it took...it kept you both pushing it back, knowing eventually you'd both be ready.
after speaking with doctors, asking for advice from the church, and having you grumble about the neighbors who welcomed a cute baby girl, the two of you figured it was time.
you did your best to act normal all dayl, trying not to seem to nervous or too excited as you went about your chores for the day.
it may just be an act to procreate, but...it's still your first time with nanami. you want it to at least feel special.
there was nothing in the bible that went against that, right?
well, you have plenty of time to overthink since it seems that your dear husband will be at work late. to pass the time, you wait upstairs in your shared bedroom, the TV on as a distraction.
you're so stuck in your own world that you don't even notice him in the doorway before he clears his throat, leaning in the doorway. "oh! hi, honey, welcome home!" you go to stand up, but he holds up a hand, making you stop before you can get up from the bed.
it's silent, aside from the noise from the TV, and you can feel your stomach flip in anticipation.
has...has he always looked that handsome?
he continues to stand by the door, still not making eye contact. "you said it...starts today, correct," nanami questions, focused on undoing the straps of his watch. it shouldn't be attractive, it's such a simple task...yet it has your stomach doing flips as you nod.
"mhm, my, uh...ovulation starts today." it's such a weird thing to say, it just makes everything feel so...clinical. but that's how it's supposed to be, right? those who use sex for pleasure instead of procreation are sinners, or whatever the reverend at the church says.
"mm."
slowly pulling it off, he sets the watch on the dresser before shutting the bedroom door
"good."
dear god in heaven, you think to yourself, struggling to swallow the saliva pooling inside your mouth as he starts to undress. please forgive me for such inappropriate thoughts about my husband.
he removes his suit jacket—black today, it seems—placing it carefully on his desk chair, followed by his cufflinks and tie. his shirt is next, each button popping to reveal his strong, well-maintained physique.
you have to stop yourself from pumping your fist in the air for getting so lucky with such an attractive man as your husband. too busy ogling him like a horny teenager, you miss him undoing his belt before tugging them down and stepping out of his boxers.
once you do realize he's fully undress, you blush hard once he approaches the end of the bed—it took everything out of you not to stare at that...monster hanging between his legs, dear lord—and climbs onto it, making his way to hover over you.
his eyes roam up and down your body, taking in the pretty silky night dress you had on. It’s a soft blue with lacy white trim with little intricate flower designs.
modest, yet sensual.
"this is new," he comments, voice low and sultry. you can't help but wonder if he meant to sound so...so...
you don't find the correct word for it, but this new tone lights a fire in your stomach that has your r thighs squeezing together just a little bit.
"well, i figured it was an important night...you know, finally popping our cherries a-and starting a family?"
it's a weak attempt at humor, your voice clearly giving away your nervousness. you just pray that he ignores it.
a soft hum leaves him, his fingers playing with the intricately designed lace trim. the idea that you want to make this whole ordeal special, that you want to give yourself to him wholly, and that you want to swell with his child...
it pleases him greatly, a small smile touching his lips.
"well, aren't you sweet, my dearest?"
such simple words, yet they relieve so much tension from your shoulders. you can't help but smile back before a little gasp falls from your lips when his hands start to lift the dress up. his hands, they're so big, so hot on your skin.
It's a struggle to remember that this is for the purpose of producing offspring and nothing else, but you try, you try so hard.
but when you hear the hitch in his breath at the realization you didn't have anything else underneath the dress after he pulls it over your head, it's hard to remember.
the thought just about completely leaves your mind at the way nanami, your usually put-together husband, looks so hungrily down at you, a look you've never seen before in those pretty hazel eyes.
his gaze lingers on your body for a moment, mouth opening before shutting instantly, preventing himself from saying something he'd likely regret.
calm down, kento, he reminds himself, taking a second to clear his mind. this is for the purpose of family, not sinful and carnal desires.
even so, he's drinking in the sight of you, unable to stop his hands from rubbing up and down your sides, the soft skin of you, his wife, warming his palms. all his.
"gorgeous," he mumbles, unaware he even said it.
the moment you feel his leaking cock brush against your leg, a thought occurs to you.
neither one of you has a single idea of how to do this.
sure, you both know enough about putting it inside and moving, but that was about it. is there something else you should do? things you should say, places you should touch to aid in the process?
they never explained the actual process of sex in church, and lord knows your mother and father would've keeled over and died instantly if you were to ask them.
'it comes naturally when god deems it your time' the reverend stated once during a sermon. you fight back a frown, realizing that man probably had even less of an idea of how to do it.
however, the feeling of his tip nudging against your slit rips a gasp out of you, bringing you back into the present.
"are you alright? you left me for a bit there," nanami asks, his brow furrowed in worry. if you weren't ready, he was willing to back off. he may want to fulfill this important aspect of marriage, but...not if you don't want it.
"n-no, i'm okay! just...wondering how all of this is going to work out," you softly reassure, giving a weak giggle.
he can't blame you, he isn't very sure either. but as the man of the house and as your husband, he didn't plan on letting you worry. he would do all the work, you just needed to lay there looking so pretty, so soft, so...he realizes he's doing it again, letting his mind wander to places it shouldn't.
"just...j-just relax, we will figure it out as we go along."
with your silent nod, nanami starts to push his hips forward, hissing silently when he realizes the wetness that greets him.
you were this aroused just from...talking?
the thought of scolding you for letting your mind wander crossed his own, but...it would be hypocritical when his cockhead is dribbling precum all over your soft mound.
you choke out a noise of pain when his cock finally notches onto you and starts to push inside. sure, your wetness helped get the tip and the few inches after it inside, but just that is already too much for you, and you're expected to take all of it?!
you do your best not to move, not really sure what you should be doing. you'd be a good wife and bear with the pain if you had to, your nails digging into the pillow under your head as you braced yourself for the rest of his cock.
but this is absolutely unbearable, how do other women bear with this and have 6 or more children?!
a flicker of concern flashes through nanami's eyes at the sound you made, and he stops moving forward. he may be a bit mean sometimes, but he wasn't cruel.
if you both are going to go through with this, he is not going to make you suffer and nor is he going to force you to endure a painful experience.
no true man of god would do such a thing.
"breathe, don't hold it in," he instructs, his voice somehow calm and collected. one of his hands laces with yours, hoping to provide some sort of comfort as his lips brush against your forehead. "i've got you, darling, the pain will pass, just...tell me to stop if it gets too bad. don't hold it in."
giving a soft nod, you try to match his breathing, your body relaxing and making it easier for nanami to slip the rest of himself inside, a near silent sigh escaping him. the tightness and initial resistance that greeted him nearly made him moan, his cock twitching violently inside of you.
something about the physical feeling and knowledge that you saved yourself for him like you promised years before you both got married sent a surge of possession and pride, knowing he has such a loving and faithful wife who is so willing to give herself up to him like this...he can only hope you feel the same knowing he saved himself for you and only you.
so, as a 'reward'—and totally not because he fears you'll strangle his cock off with how tight you are—he's so gracious to you, not moving to let you get used to the stretch and feel of him inside, the room silent except for your matching breathing.
a few moments go by, and you should feel embarrassed when you feel slick drip out of you and down your ass. the realization that your dearest husband, one of the most faithful men of the church, is letting his cock soak inside of your hot cunt makes you whine a little, slick walls fluttering around him.
he's so fucked.
"a-ah...i'm going to move now," he warns, taking your sudden noise as a good sign. nanami shifts his legs just a bit before giving an experimental thrust, his brow furrowing as he slowly finds a rhythm.
the feeling of your hot and gummy walls is absolutely intoxicating, divine, nothing he's ever felt before.
this is what it felt like?
this is what he waited for?
fuck, it felt...it felt so good.
too good.
for you, the pain completely melts away, and you silently thank god and the angels above for giving you a merciful husband who is so kind as to wait for you to loosen up around him.
little do you know, he would rather kill himself than start moving when you're still adjusting to the pain and stretch.
his gentle movements make you all but melt under him, your eyes fluttering at the unbelievable pleasure coursing through your veins.
no wonder your parents preached about saving yourself until marriage, and thank the heavens you listened.
the very thought of feeling this way with anyone but your kento puts a bad taste in your mouth.
meanwhile, nanami chants prayers in his head over and over again as he tries his best to focus on the 'true' purpose for this.
the sticky, wet, and gooey sensation of your plump cunt sucking him, practically weeping each time he pulls out is just unfair.
the poor man, he's fighting so hard to maintain his composure, to not succumb to the base instincts that those soft moans of yours are beginning to stir within him.
"s-shush, darling," he grits out, hips still following his slow, deep pace. "don't...don't make such noises," he all but pleads, voice tinged with a huskiness that betrayed his growing need for you.
“i-i’m sorry! just, it...feels good, y-you feel good, feels s-so good,” you whisper, hands coming up to cover your mouth and stifle those sickeningly sweet noises.
but of course, that isn’t enough because each push and pull of his cock stirs your drooling cunt, filling the room with wet, filthy squelching sounds.
nothing about this is holy, nanami thinks as he grits his teeth, hands fisting in the sheets next to your head.
look at her.
those soft, muffled noises are truly music to his ears, his pace morphing from the slow, deep grind into a faster pace as your soft body gives into the pleasure.
so wet, so damn tight around my cock., like she never wants to let me pull out.
"k-kento, y-you're goin' too deep, i-i can't be quiet, s'too much!"
messy little pussy, 's beggin' for cum, needs it, needs to feel my tip kissin' her cervix as i pump load after load into her womb.
he knows what that little voice is, and no matter how much he wants to claim that it’s the sound of demons pouring their sinful words into his mind, he knows that it's his thoughts, fueled by those dirty little noises that she can't hold back.
how pitiful, how sinful, doesn't she know she's going against all the teachings they've heard preached every weekend in their church?
doesn't she know she's giving into lust?
doesn't she know her pretty sounds are making his dick throb, painting her insides with his hot, gooey precum?
"hush, 'm not going to t-tell you again, you...you need to be quiet," he growls, the command lacking its earlier authority.
nanami also knows lying is a sin, and he's doing a damned lot of it right now as he tries to convince himself that you need to stay silent. after all, this—this is just a process of giving you both a child, just like you wanted, and nothing else.
but he's lying to himself.
he needs you to be quiet or else he'll lose it.
the poor man is barely holding onto his restraint, and these sweet noises pouring from your mouth aren't helping at all.
"y-you make this so difficult sometimes, my dear..." his voice is rough with need and desire, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor. "but, by god, you're...you're. absolutely. exquisite."
he punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust, grinding his hips into you in a way that has the coarse hair on his crotch to rub against your clit. the pleasure it gives you is electric, your legs coming up to squeeze his hips as you try to grind with him.
his words, his simple praise only makes you hiccup his name, crying out louder as your watery eyes roll back as your needy cunt squeezed down on his fat cock.
you're such a sweet thing, trying oh-so hard to mute your sounds. each snap of his hips is all but driving you insane.
“i-i can’t, ken, y-you don’t understand, i-it feels so good, i-i’m so full! you’re pressing against all the good spots, kentoo, i-i love you s' much, b-but i can't!”
be a good fucking husband and do what you were made to, nanami kento.
his teeth dig into his bottom lip, trying to hard to ignore that temptation purring in the back of his mind.
the voice is so much louder now, echoing throughout his mind and muting any prayers or pleads to be mindful of the sanctity of this whole process.
fuck her. give her what she needs, what she deserves.
but it's too fucking hard, he can't his hips are speeding up, his strong hands moving to grip your thighs, unaware of how they start to anchor behind your knees.
breed your pretty little wife and give her a baby like she deserves.
with a deep groan, nanami finally loses all control, fingers digging into your supple thighs to push them to your chest and practically folding you in half.
this new angle has him openly moaning like a dirty whore, allowing him to plunge even deeper into your tight, gummy walls, the head of his cock kissing your cervix with each and every deep thrust.
"k-ken, kenny, k-ken," you sob, tears catching onto your lashes as your entire being is assaulted by the endless pleasure your husband is giving you. he doesn't even look like your kento anymore, his pupils blown so wide that you can barely see the ring of greens and brown of his iris.
"f-fuck. 's all your fault, you know that," he hisses, eyes narrowing as he weakly glares down at you. but you can see the hearts in his eyes as he gives in to the pleasure.
his dark eyes bore down into yours, the wet plap plap plap plap of his hips slamming into yours almost overpowering his voice. "if y-you just stayed quiet like i asked, w-we wouldn't be here."
a little spurt of wet gushes out of you, making his fall forward into the juncture of your neck with a groan at the dirty noise it makes,
"god, i-i can feel it, y'know? can feel this sticky pussy—such a dirty little pussy—makin' such a mess. saved it jus' for me, didn't you, baby? mmhm—fuckin' hell, 's tight—thank you god f' giving me such an angel of a wife." nanami is huffing nonsense against your neck, pounding into you with a force that has the bed creaking loudly.
if you weren't being fucked stupid, you would be worried he was about to break the bed.
"you can keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, b-but you jus' had to have the noisiest little cunt."
he's so mean, but it only serves to make you gush even more, the way juices pour out of you and only make the already filthy noises even nastier.
"she's talkin' to me, baby, y'hear it? i'm...i-i'm gonna breed you," he manages to whine into your ear, pulling away to press his sweaty forehead against yours.
his tongue, so pink and pretty—you want it in your mouth, want to taste it want to feel it against yours—runs over his top lip as he watches drool drip down the corner of your mouth while you nod brainlessly.
nanami's never felt so dirty, so unhinged, but it feels so right, feels so fucking good. he never wants to leave your pussy, never wants to pull out, this is where he belongs, buried deep inside you as his cock pumps load after load right into your tummy, giving you what you need, what you deserve.
"yeah? you want that? i'll give it to you, baby, promise, 'm gonna be a good husband a-and knock you up, gonna make you a mommy."
that has you keening, tears pouring down your cheeks at the pleasure it shoots up your spine. you know you're close, but it's different.
it feels different, feels too much, there's pressure you've never felt before from the few times you'd cave in and play with your puffy, swollen clit in the shower when you waited for nanami to get home from work to kiss you to sleep.
no, you feel like you are about to fucking explode. "ken, i-i can't, 'm gonna—s-something's coming," you try to warn, your hands fisting in his hair as you tug and tug and tug.
the pull of his hair makes him moan like a slut, it sounds so fucking good. his eyes are rolling back before he rushes to comfort you, pressing soft little open-mouthed kisses against your lips.
you don't need to fight it, you just need to give it to him, give him what he needs.
"shh, shh, don' cry, y' look t'pretty, honey. l-let it happen, cum for me, i've got you, angel, cum for me s-so i can fill you up," he coos, his hips growing erratic as he feels your silky walls starting to fluttering around him, feeling you teeter on the edge of release.
he shifts, just barely, just enough to better position himself to fuck deeper into you. but that slight movement has his cock smushing against something soft and spongy that makes you sob, growing softer and more pliant under him, and you know you are done for as all you can do is wail his name.
"please, pretty girl, cum for me, show me how good 'm making you feel, soak my cock, c'mon, you can do it."
with a loud mewl that nearly has nanami soaking your walls in cum, you dig your nails into his biceps as you finally, finally cum. and you're right, it is different, your cute pussy squirting and creaming all over his dick.
the poor man is choking back a whine, eyes wide in shock as your cunt just gushes slick everywhere, clenching around him like a vice as you cum.
your juices are soaking his cock and balls, splattering against his lower abdomen obscenely. the thought of making you do that again crosses his mind for a split moment before the need to fill you up for being so good overpowers any other thought.
not giving you a break, he continues his unforgiving fucking, ignoring your cries and pleads for him to slow down.
"nonono, shh, shh, shush, you can take it," he coos against your lips, no longer caring if this was sinning or not. all he could think about was the constant squeezing and spasming of your poor overstimulated slit that was milking him toward his orgasm.
you try to squirm away, but the way he has you folded in half has you unable to do anything but accept his stupidly deep thrusts that make you swear you can taste his cock in the back of your throat.
"t-tha's it." he's panting, slurring his words, his fingers digging into the fat of your thighs. it’s so wet, so messy now, but he can't find it in himself to care.
no, all he can think about as he looks down at you is how you'll have that angelic glow as you grow round with his baby, and everyone will know you're his, that he knocked you up, he pumped you full of his cum, that you're his you're his you're all fucking his—
"f-fuck, honey, i-i can't..." his hips stutter as he does his best to maintain his rhythm, but his own release is barreling down on him. his heavy balls are drawing up tight as they slap against your ass, your juices still pouring out and soaking all of him.
"'m gonna fill you up, 'm gonna pump this—this sinful little cunt f-full of m'cum, angel, gonna knock you up, gonna have you drippin' with me, g-gonna give you a fuckin' baby, shit—"
with a deep, guttural groan, nanami hisses your name as he buries himself as deep as possible, his hot tip kissing your cervix as thick, hot ropes of his potent cum pour right into your womb, hips grinding into you and giving little thrusts as you milk his cock weakly despite your overstimulation.
it's—it's so much, he's still cumming, how was all of this inside of him? you can practically feel it sloshing around inside of you, and you whimper when you feel it gush out around his now softening cock, dripping down your ass onto the bed.
a moment or two passes, and he sits up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face and looking down at you.
oh.
you sweet thing, you're an absolute mess. you have tear streaks down your cheeks, your lips swollen from him unknowingly biting them between the little kisses he was giving you, a pretty sheen of sweat on you, and...
his eyes trail lower to where his dick is still nestled inside of you, and it takes everything in him to not accidentally thrust his hips a little bit.
it's a creamy, sticky mess, a mixture of his and your cum seeping out your poor, abused pussy.
"o-oh. sorry, my love. i'm...not quiet sure what happened there. i apologize for such...foul language," he mumurs, his hand stroking your hip. "'s okay," you softly coo back to him, your eyes fluttering shut as you try to catch your breath. "i-i liked it..."
but you quickly learn you've married both a man of god and a curious, insatiable bastard who can't help but drag his cum all over your pussy, quickly finding your clit. and the reaction you give him is one he decides he likes, your hips canting up as your soft, oversensitive walls squeeze around his cock again.
"k-kento, that's nasty!"
all you get in response is a grumbling noise in his chest as it takes you weakly slapping your hands against his chest to get his eyes to snap away from your gooey, creamy pussy.
clearing his throat, he looks down at you, that heated look slowly creeping back onto his face. "perhaps we...we should try once more. just to ensure it takes," he states, doing his best to show some semblance of dominance.
but it's impossible when his hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead, his pupils blown as he gazes down at your panting form like he's about to devour you whole.
"after all, a...a big family is what god wants from man and woman, right? so we...shouldn't delay and keep trying." his hand trails up your side before finding its way to your breast, squeezing the soft flesh.
his thumb experimentally rolled your nipple, and the way your body reacted, a soft gasp of his name...how is he supposed to explain the feeling he's getting in the confessional booth?
"y-yeah," he gulps, leaning his head down. you can feel his hot breath against your tit, and you swear you feel drool drip onto your breast. "w-we'll keep trying. jus' to make sure w-we do what the scripture asks."
may god forgive him for being such a fucking liar and a damned bad one at that.
all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami kento smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#˗ˏˋ ★ lxnarworks .ᐟ#[💳] kento .ᐟ
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
the urge to take certain classmates and RIP OFF THEIR STUPID HEADS BESTIE UR HAVING A CATEGORY ONE PISS ON THE POOR MOMENT AND I'M ABOUT TO ATTEMPT TO KUNG POW PENIS YOU IN A CHAT OF NON-TUMBLRITES. SHUT THE HELL UP
#a biscuit's rambles#they want a COFFEE MACHINE#THATS LITERALLY NOT POSSIBLE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE IT HAD BEEN ASKED JUST LAST YEAR#YOUR STUPID WHATSAPP POLL (WHICH UR LOSING!!!!) WONT CHANGE THAT#i should Not have engaged but they kept arguing even after someone who Knows whats up told them no#AND THEN THEY DIDNT STOP#so i did Not keep my mouth shut! yay!#and i told them its literally not possible! someone asked last year! impossible! not allowrd! we cant!#amd they said lets wait for the results of the poll WHICH THEYRE LOSINH BY FAR (whether to get a coffee machine)#and they said they just want to discuss it!#like?? BITXH THERES NOTHING TO DISCUSS#anyway. told them that idc but then they should go n ask themselves Before raising hell abt it#no answer to that one yet. im taking it as a win#bc i may have been slightly aggressive but its late and im STILL MORE RATIONAL#theyre doing such a sharks are smooth impression i needed EIGHT question marks to articulate myself fuckin hell. BUT. idc
1 note
·
View note
Text
worked a whole hour of unpaid overtime on top of the half hour paid overtime I agreed to do all bc one of the directors turned up an hour late to our technical meeting and would not stop yapping...... 🙄😑
#n i had overnight shit to set up after in fact we ALL had shit to do after including him but he just cant shut his mouth#i dont even care that much bc its not like i had anything to do this evening anyway i was prolly just gonna sit and wait until bedtime#and my meds have been working today i havent crashed yet so im calm.. i just like having stuff to complain abt lol#its kind of nice when i have to work unexpected overtime bc ppl see me in the lab out of my usual hours and are rly sympathetic <3#like yessss girl feel sorry for me.... tell me how shit is is!!#was rly funny in the meeting bc he kept saying shit n the rest of us kept making eye contact n trying not to laugh like r u hearing this#we would finish covering smth and move on to a new topic and then he'd circle back again....so glad i didnt have to present cuz i wouldve#been wayyyyy more patronising than my boss n the others were explaining shit to him for the 4th time#anyway. hope this bus is on time at least. i should dm my roommate n ask her to put the hot water on one sec#.diaries
1 note
·
View note
Text
I have a fucking master's degree and I've been beaten by a fucking couch and a coffee table
#And guess who's probably not gonna be getting any fucking help for like 3 weeks#Cause their boyfriend's always busy and when he's not everybody else needs to fucking babysitter or needs help with something#Which makes him so busy that I can maybe only see him for dinner once a week from maybe 30 minutes#So a total of 2 hours and a whole fucking month#The fact that I apparently have the schedule in fucking dinner to see him for 30 fucking minutes and yet these assholes can go and get drunk#I need a fucking babysitter otherwise go and have been fucking jail fucking let them rot#They need to learn consequences and either they learn it in a jail cell or I'm going to end up fucking drowning them#Like seriously I don't like being a bitch I've kept my mouth shut for fucking months and if I start talking now#Everybody's gonna be calling me a bitch and everybody's not gonna like me even fucking more#Whatever I just wanted to get the fucking couch and coffee table set up cause I got him today and I wanted them bill and put together#They didn't have to sit on the fucking floor anymore like I have had for the past oh 3 4 years now#But no no fuck my knees fuck my back fuck me having anything nice for fucking once#Am I overreacting? probably#But I spent 2 fucking hours trying to put together the goddamn couch back with instructions that are so fucking shitty#And that I've seen better instructions from a goddamn toddler and this couch is impossible to put together with one fucking person#And a fucking period started so I think I'm entitled to be a little bit of a fucking bitch right now and a little overreactive#Cause God it's not like any of them are gonna fucking see this this is my little corner of the internet and it's my little fucking diary
0 notes
Text
TL;DR - How would you kick someone out of your house without involving police? and Should you?
My no-note blog is probably not the best place to ask this question, but maybe someone will come along and answer, who knows.
So in the ideal circumstance that we abolish the police, I've been wondering about a specific scenario. Say there is a person in your home, for whatever reason, who has no legal right to be there, and you do not want them there (again, for whatever reason) but they refuse to leave and you want to forcibly remove them from your home.
Most people nowadays would threaten to call the cops on them, and usually that alone is enough to get people to leave. I've never actually had this problem myself, but I've known numerous people who've talked about these kinds of situations (and coincidentally they were all middle class, if that tells you anything...) I, personally, would think twice (or a million times) about calling the cops on someone, especially if the person in question is particularly vulnerable to police brutality. So, even if the police aren't abolished, I still want to know the proper alternative to handle this kind of situation.
I'm a pretty weak, easily overpowered person, so my first instinct would be to like.. call someone I know or go get a strong neighbor or something to help me get this person off of my property.
I know that the specifics of the situation also play a key role here, too, on how to handle it. Like, if the person is reasonable, I would hope that just telling them to leave would get them to go - easy enough. But if they refuse to move.. what do I even do? If it's someone that I know very well, I might think to take a break and just walk away from them and hope we can sort things out once we've calmed down. If it's someone that I don't know very well, though, (not even necessarily an intruder, but just say someone who is overstaying their welcome) and especially if tensions are not even high, I wouldn't really know what to do. Some states even have squatters rights, so like.. sometimes you literally CAN'T do anything about this person being in your home, and in some cases they can even get you kicked out. I think it's kind of obvious that if the person clearly has violent intentions towards me, then I have a right to defend myself, but again, I am not going to be able to do that by myself, and I don't know what the legalities are around asking for help from another citizen, i.e. not a cop, if someone means to do you harm?
And what if you do ask for help and your helper ends up injuring the person in the process of trying to get them out?? I'd imagine it's still better than calling a cop, and risking getting a life-ruining criminal record, or worse, shot and killed. But I'd also imagine there could be grounds for them to sue if they get injured by the helper since the helper is not a professional of any kind and not protected in anyway. Only some states have protections against self defense anyway, and I don't know if it even counts if you invited the person into your home willingly and they weren't being violent to begin with. Like.. if they person is just stubbornly standing there and then your burly neighbor puts hands on them first, I don't think that even counts as self defense for the homeowner? At that point if the person fights back then they have a case for self-defense.
And I don't know what the leftist attitude is towards personal property like that anyway, like should we even have a right to our own home? I don't know the leftist view on that, I get the idea that individualism is not the move, but like.. do we still have our own personal space? Space that we are allowed to bar others from entering? Even if that space extends to the entirety of a 2-bedroom home? I'm asking sincerely, because I really haven't read enough socialist theory, so I don't know what the opinions are on home ownership in general. Like in an ideal society, would we supposedly just allow the person to stay for as long as they like, as long as they aren't hurting anything? That's another part of it, like what if they aren't doing any harm but I still don't want them there? Am I wrong for wanting them to leave, even if I don't know them? Supposing even if they are an intruder, if they haven't stolen anything or hurt me or my animals, but they just... won't leave, should I even be mad about that?
But again, forget an ideal society, let's take it back to reality, assuming that I live in the US and the laws are exactly the same as they are in this moment, police are not abolished, but I am choosing to not involve the police in this matter... what is the right thing to do???? Should I just resolve myself to accept that this person lives with me now?? I don't even live in a state with squatters rights, so I don't legally have to, but.. should I? (more thoughts and anecdotes if the tags if you feel like reading)
#leftism#socialism#communism#abolish police#this is open to debate for anyone it's one half sincere question and one half ethics think piece#like.. there may not be any one 'right' 'good' answer for every situation i just want to hear opinions from people who know more than me#please try to be civil and i know this might sound like a stupid question but I'm asking it in good faith#I feel like a LOT of people (at least US citizens) will just tell me 'well duh you have a right to not want someone in your space'#but like idk i've been thinking over this for a few days now and questioning if I even do have that right??#like obviously i have a right to boundaries but do i have a right to a 784sq ft home?#if i have extra space im not occupying all of the time is it wrong for me to keep someone out of it?#i'm someone who prefers to live alone and i've just recently got my house to myself after having a guest for over a year#he is a friend of mine and it made me miserable having him here sometimes (despite him doing nothing wrong)#but our other friends kept telling me to kick him out and i just couldnt believe they would even suggest that??#like.. just because i want to live by myself doesn't mean it's better to put him out on the street??#i still cant believe they saw no issue with that#and not once while he was here did i ever consider making him leave so this question isn't about him or anything#this anecdote is just an example of like.. differences in opinion on personal space#i have a 2-bd trailer and i've been waiting to turn my second bedroom into an office#but i let him live in the extra room while he was here because i was able to get by just fine without it#but i think i might feel different if someone i didnt know just showed up in my home one day and wanted to live here#or what if my friend (not that he would EVER) did become violent and i DID need to force him to leave? like .. what do??#this question mostly came up because someone i met recently was telling a story about a terrible roommate he had#but his (the person telling the story) parents owned the property or something and this guy's lease was up but he wasn't leaving#so they threw all his stuff out because he had been gone for a couple weeks and they assumed he wasnt coming back#but then he showed up one day looking for his things and was trying to take stuff from the kitchen#and the guy (telling the story) told him that he couldn't take anything and he needed to leave and said he would call the cops if he didn't#and i kept my mouth shut (especially cause the roommate sounded particularly foul) but i would not dream of calling the cops over that#but it was like... just because they owned the property and he didn't want him there calling the cops was a perfectly reasonable response#it sickens me
1 note
·
View note