#or if I do get help I have to put myself out there and ask

[jenroses]

It is incredible to me how much My depression was most effectively treated by no longer being gaslit by shitty medical professionals. When I started getting diagnoses that made sense, rather than "we can't find anything wrong." Also "yes, we can help you".

Yes, antidepressants were helpful in specific situations. But invariably for me, the biggest depression trigger has been feeling trapped and unheard.

I do a lot of things for my mental health. I take the tiniest dose of otc lithium... Basically a "people where the drinking water has naturally occurring lithium experience less depression" dose (the pharmaceutical dose starts at 600 mg. I take 5. This seems to put a floor under me, so I don't always feel great but I'm not falling into the pit as easily)

I take a low pharmaceutical dose of duloxetine for nerve pain. It would probably be better if I could take more but I can't risk the drug interactions.

Fish oil seems to help stabilize my ability to cope a lot. Going off it for procedures really fucks up my coping ability.

and choline supplements seem to affect my general capacity for enjoyment of literally anything in life.

Magnesium affects a lot of bodily symptoms for me, mitigating my asthma from chronic to only triggered under extreme circumstances, and affecting my general tension level, as well as easing gut issues.

And by far, the most stabilizing factors involve treating my POTS with hydration and electrolytes and mast cell issues with substantial amounts of various h1 and h2 antihistamines. Because it's hard to get out of bed when you're dizzy and it's hard not to feel anxious when you itch and your heart is racing and you feel like there's nothing you can eat that won't hurt you.

For me, standard doses of one antidepressant or another got me past despair on several occasions but they're not fixing the very real issues making me miserable. The problem isn't my brain, it's my body and the world we live in, the brain is just doing its best and I'm trying to help it along.

Sometimes people need that one antidepressant lifelong, and that's fine. If you can feel substantially better with a single medication, yes, do that!

But for me, the side effects tend to be magnified, and most of my issues with depression are situational and/or treatable by other means. My diagnoses are autism, ptsd, adhd and anxiety, except the anxiety isn't really the thing where you feel anxious for no good reason, but because my life has a lot of things going on that literally if I wasn't worried about them people would be worried that I wasn't responding appropriately to situations that are literally anxiety provoking.

Accepting that, "no, I'm not depressed for no reason, this really just is this shitty" did wonders for my mental health in general. There's nothing wrong with my responses to the world, the world just is that fucked up. It is genuinely difficult to live in my body and anyone would have a hard time with this.

Pacing myself, setting boundaries, asking for help and treating the treatable things has gone a very long way towards helping my mood in general.

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

[wonkizz]

to be or not to be: brat

정원 x older!fmr genre: smut warns: usage of noona, cunnilingus, fellatio, pretty vanilla smut (not great), begging, unprotected sex, cumming inside, fingering wc: 2.3k

Bratty pop stars weren't anything new to you. You’ve dealt with enough to know their type.

They party day and night to escape from the lives that they claim have plagued them.

You don’t fully understand because you’re not famous like them, but you understand the concept.

One minute you’re a regular person, the next you’re a star in the eyes of everyone.

You don’t blame them for acting out the way they do sometimes. You try to be understanding and listen to their frustrations, although you’re not a therapist and some of them definitely need that.

You’ve been assigned as a new manager for pop star Yang Jungwon.

He made his entrance to the entertainment industry 4 years ago and is just now having his “rebellious stage”.

Whatever, again, nothing new to you.

You’re meeting him for the first time today, anticipating the same as you always do.

Rude, closed off, not willing to talk.

So you can only be surprised as Yang Jungwon walks in, greeting you warmly.

“Hi, I’m Jungwon. It’s nice to meet you.”

You’re confused. Where’s the snide remarks? The cold exterior?

“It’s nice to meet you too, Jungwon.”

You both sit in the meeting about you being his new manager, but you’re barely paying attention.

You didn’t realize how attractive he is.

His features are strong but give off a unique softness.

His eyes are especially captivating.

They remind you of boba balls, funnily enough.

You’re soon tasked with driving Jungwon back to his apartment, as the meeting was his only schedule of the day.

The car ride is silent, until you break it with your curiosity.

“Not to be rude, but why aren’t you more…bratty?” You ask Jungwon who soon begins to giggle in his seat.

“The whole rebellious thing is just an act the company wanted to put me on to get attention.”

Oh, that would explain it.

“But you already have millions of fans, why the need for possible bad publicity?”

Jungwon shrugs, “I don’t know, to be honest. I just do what they tell me.”

“Well, you still probably struggle with this life sometimes, no?”

“I do! Like any other celebrity, I do. But I don’t see the point in acting out over it. It was my choice to become this and I have to own it.”

You smile, hoping he catches it, “That’s a very mature mindset to have, Jungwon.”

“Thank you, noona. Is it okay if I call you that?”

“Of course!” You nod, “I want you to be comfortable with me.”

“Can I be honest then?” Jungwon asks.

You nod, waiting.

“The reason you became my manager so suddenly is because.. I saw you at a party a few weeks ago and I thought you were pretty. I wanted to know who you were so I got my team involved.”

Your mind halts for a moment. He found you pretty?

Does he feel some type of way about you?

“I’m flattered, Jungwon. I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I’m sorry, you probably feel weirded out but I couldn’t help it.” Out of the corner of your eye, you swear he’s pouting, like he just got scolded.

“I’m not weirded out, Jungwon. Like I said, I’m flattered. I find you very handsome myself. When they said I’d be working with you, I got excited. Even though I thought you’d be a brat.”

That gets a chuckle out of him and you laugh along.

The conversation flows more easily after that.

When you reach the address that was put into your gps, you’re surprised to see your own complex come into view.

“You live here?” You ask incredulously, “There’s no way! I live here too.”

Jungwon looks just as amazed as you.

“That’s kinda convenient,” he says.

You park in the building's private garage before making your way to the elevator.

You’re both even more shocked when you reach for the same floor.

“Don’t tell me we’ve lived so close and never met?” Jungwon says.

“Maybe it’s fate,” you respond as he smiles at you.

When you reach Jungwon’s door, you point to your own door down the hall, “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

You wait until Jungwon is about to shut his door, when suddenly it opens again.

He looks almost shameful as he asks, “Do you wanna stay for dinner?”

You know you shouldn’t, he’s supposed to be your responsibility, but you can’t help yourself, “Sure.”

He lets you in, checking to make sure no one is present before closing the door.

His apartment is like the word cozy defined.

The furniture is minimal but not so little to feel empty.

It all matches with each other, quite fine taste if you say so yourself.

“I like it,” you praise, “it’s got a nice homey feel.”

You take your shoes off at the door as Jungwon offers you slippers.

“I actually don’t know what we’re having for dinner, I figured I would just take the chance and ask,” Jungwon says sheepishly, blushing.

You excuse him with a wave of your hand, “How about we just order out?”

“Sounds good,” he agrees.

You end up ordering Korean food, your favorites as well as Jungwon’s.

Once you’ve eaten and cleaned up, Jungwon suggests relaxing for a bit.

As you sit on his couch making quiet conversation, you think about the fact that you’ve never done this with other employers you’ve worked for.

Why is Jungwon the exception to that?

Is it because you’re attracted to him?

That’s so unprofessional, you know it is, but…is it that bad?

“What's going on in that pretty head of yours?”

Jungwon’s voice breaks your thoughts, snapping you out of your trance.

You don’t know what’s come over you, but you decide being bold is the way to go.

“I was thinking about you.”

He looks directly into your eyes, his own swarming with something you can’t pinpoint just yet.

“What about me?”

You laugh as you think about it, “I was expecting some angry, cold, closed off person. Yet I got warmth and kindness instead. It’s a nice change.”

“I was thinking about you too,” Jungwon says. “Thinking about how you’d sound, what you’d look like up close. How you’d greet me, what you’d think of me. Then I started thinking about other things once we met.”

“Like what?” You smile as you ask.

“Like what your voice would sound like when you’re moaning my name. Or what you’d feel like wrapped around me. I’m still thinking about it. I can’t stop and I know I shouldn’t but…”

As he trails off, the atmosphere instantly changes.

You would blush, if it weren’t for the fact that your mind was thinking the same things.

Slowly, you lift yourself onto your knees, making your way to where Jungwon sits.

His arms welcome you, wrapping around your waist as your lips slot against his.

Your hands make their way up, gripping the back of his neck as you sit right in his lap.

Lips moving ferociously, your tongues intersect.

You tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, making him groan.

His hands move down your waist, coming to grip your ass.

He kneads it, essentially grinding you back and forth over his lap.

You can feel his cock harden beneath his pants.

Pulling away, you stroke the sides of his face, smiling gently as he pants.

“You want me to make you feel good, Wonnie?”

“Please, noona. Need you so bad.”

You go down on your knees, rubbing Jungwon’s thighs as he waits in anticipation.

You unzip his jeans, pulling them down along with his underwear as he lifts his hips to help you.

His cock is too pretty for this world, at least in your eyes. The tip is shining with precum as you take the tip of your finger to rub it around, releasing even more.

Jungwon throws his head back, groaning pitifully.

You spit into your hand, lathering his cock with it, beginning to jerk him off.

“Please, noona, please.”

“What do you want?” You’re teasing him and he hates it, but he knows you won’t relent.

“Please suck my cock, noona. I’m begging.”

“Whatever my pretty boy wants.”

You take him in your mouth, slowly but surely.

Sucking the tip, you moan at the taste of his precum, becoming addicted to it almost immediately.

You begin to bob your head, taking him deeper until he hits the back of your throat.

He wants to grip your hair so badly, you can tell but he doesn’t want to hurt you. You take his hands, guiding them to your head as he gently grips your hair.

Jungwon uses his hands to gently guide you up and down on his cock.

“Fuck, noona. Feels so good.”

His moans and swears get louder as you continue. You swirl your tongue around his cock, focusing on the tip as his grip lightens, you use your hand to jerk what’s not in your mouth.

“I’m gonna cum, noona. Please let me cum,” Jungwon whines, bucking his hips, forcing you to take him deeper.

You slide him out of your mouth, continuing to jerk him off. “Cum in my mouth, Jungwon.”

Opening your mouth to present your tongue, Jungwon lets out a final huff, cumming in your mouth.

You swallow it eagerly and pump him through his orgasm.

His breathing is heavy as he calms down, but he’s not finished yet.

Jungwon pulls you up, pressing your lips together once more, tasting himself on your lips.

“Can we go to my room?” He asks.

You nod.

He takes your hand, leading you down the hall to his bedroom.

The door is open and unlike the living room, his bedroom is a bit more decorated. But not with furniture. He has figurines galore decorating his room.

You can’t help but find him even cuter than you did before.

Cute when he begs, and cute without even trying.

He lays you down on the bed gently, like you’re fragile and going to break.

“Can I please you, noona?”

“You can do whatever you want to me, Jungwon.”

He takes your words as a chance to discard your clothing as well as his own.

Your naked body is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He begins littering kisses across your neck and chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it while playing with the other.

He swirled his tongue around it until it hardened, then nipped at it, making you moan in delight.

Your hands find his blonde hair, gripping it tightly between your fingers.

He gives attention to the other nipple, doing the same as before, then leading his kisses down your stomach to your cunt.

“You’re soaking wet, noona. All for me?”

It’s his turn to tease you, but you don’t give into it.

“All for you, Won. Are you gonna please me?”

“Yes, noona.”

With that, he dives into your cunt. He licks through your lips, collecting your arousal on his tongue before swallowing it enthusiastically.

He brings his attention to your clit, nipping and sucking at the bud, making you jerk and moan.

As he swirls his tongue around it, a finger makes its way to your hole, entering you hesitantly.

You sigh at the feeling. It’s been a while since you had time to please yourself.

But it feels so much better when it’s someone else.

As Jungwon fingers you and plays with your cunt, your own hands are busy playing with your breasts,

tweaking your nipples to gain even more pleasure.

He adds another finger to the first, fingering you at a moderate pace.

You can feel yourself about to cum, and you warn Jungwon with a tug on his hair.

He continues regardless, wanting nothing more than for you to come in his mouth like he did.

You whine as your body thrashes lightly, the pleasure almost becoming too much.

“I’m gonna cum, Jungwon, please!”

His fingers speed up as well as his tongue and you’re cumming before you can even say something.

Jungwon takes all your come with vigor, the slurping sounds making you blush.

As you come down from your high, Jungwon pulls away from your cunt.

“You ready?” He asks.

You nod, “Give it to me.”

He pumps his cock a few times before rubbing it against your cunt, collecting your arousal on it.

Just when you’re about to find yourself begging, he finally pushes inside you.

You both groan, you at the intrusion and him at the tightness.

“Fuck, you’re sucking me in, noona.”

He lets you adjust for a few moments, before slowly starting to thrust.

In and out, in and out. All you hear is the sound of skin slapping against skin as your sweaty body slides against his.

You pull him down by his hair, connecting your lips in a searing kiss.

“Faster, Wonnie,” you say against his lips.

Jungwon speeds up, fucking you vigorously.

Your moans are getting louder and higher by the second, filling the room along with his grunts.

“‘M gonna cum in this pussy, right noona?”

“Yes Jungwon, yes! Cum inside, I need it!”

His pace is almost animalistic at this point, fucking your so hard your cunt starts to ache.

You hold onto him tightly as both your orgasms wash over you.

Feeling his cum fill you up is exhilarating, and he feels the same as your own orgasm splashes against him.

As he rides you both through your highs, you begin to calm down. That was the best orgasm you’ve had in a long time.

Jungwon leans down to kiss you gently. “Was it okay?”

You hum, “More than okay. I needed that.”

Jungwon lays down beside you as you both breathe somewhat heavily.

“So… how are we gonna explain this to the team?”

wonkizz 2025

[323cutie]

Ok not to give tonal whiplash from the sweetness of Woo and Jongho to absolute freak nasty thoughts buuuuuut… I was rereading the sextape with Wooyoung post you did a while back and it got me thinking… say it is a video call with Sannie… how the hell does he even react to that? And how likely is to end with you in bed with both of them one night because he can’t fucking get the images out of his head? And how encouraging would Wooyoung be about it? And how sweet and hard and comforting and also mean would they be together? -🐍

so uh. Um. yeah. splitting this up into 2 parts i couldnt help myself. nonnie ur killing me.

cw ୨୧ erm. sex tape? phone sex? threesome? kind of dubious consent on san's end so tread with caution but he gets into it, blowjobs, one line abt face slapping, a teeny bit of hair pulling, wooyo is an instigator and a brat, finger sucking, masturbation (male, referenced), dirty talk

18+ mdni!!

"Say hi, baby."

Wooyoung's voice is hazy and disconnected, whiny behind the flash of his phone. It takes a little too long for you to even register what he said, prompting a light slap to your cheek from him, and you pull yourself off of his cock to look at where you're pretty sure the camera actually is.

"H-Hi, Sannie," you say, breathless, swallowing what spit collected in your mouth from sucking Wooyoung off. You don't really know what to say, so you let Wooyoung push your hair out of your face and blink wetly up into the light. There's a muffled sound and then you hear San for the first time since he picked up the phone.

"Fuck," he curses, voice obviously strained even through the speakers. From behind the flash you catch a glimpse of Wooyoung's savage smile. "What is -- Wooyoungie, what are you --"

You guide your mouth back onto Wooyoung's cock and sigh at the weight of it on your tongue. He groans and uses his free hand to hold your hair back, speaking, but not to you: "Thought we'd -- ah, fuck -- put on a little show for you, Sannie," he says. You look past the phone at him and his breath hitches. "Wanted to treat you."

"Treat me?" San breathes, and you take Wooyoung's cock just a little deeper to see what both of them will do. The reaction is immediate, a sharp tug on your hair and a moan from Wooyoung simultaneous with the whimper you hear San let out. "This is..."

You pull back and Wooyoung lets you. "Wanna look good for you, Sannie," you say. Your voice is hoarse but you don't think they care.

Wooyoung jumps in immediately. "Looks so pretty, huh?" He eggs San on, hand squishing your cheeks together then pushing two fingers into your mouth. "Perfect for sucking cock, right?"

The noise San lets out is obscene, something crossed between a bitten back whimper and a gasp. Addicting, and you want to hear it over and over again. After half a second, he says, "fuck, yeah, so pretty. So beautiful."

The praise warms you. "You touchin' yourself, Sannie?" You ask, the first few syllables crowded by Wooyoung's fingers in your mouth until he takes them out. There's panting, then another glimpse of Wooyoung's grin, and San must have nodded. You wish you could see him. Probably looks just as pretty as he says you are, red faced and wrecked, eager to feel.

"Go on, then," Wooyoung says, tapping the tip of his cock against your lips -- a prompt, a reminder. "We said we'd give him a show."

[estranhossonhos]

It's obviously not a requirement I look for, whenever I meet someone (friends, bf/gf, doesn't matter - I mean people I want to keep around and nourish a relationship with); but I would love to have a significant other with this kind of mindset. That cooks with joy, plans every mealtime with ease, and feeds on other people's reactions to their food. In fact, whenever I get invited to eat at someone's house, and they complain that the food didn't turn up how they envisioned, or state that «it's nothing fancy» - oh, you have no idea how moments like this warm my body, heart and soul. And I wish I was writing all of this out of nostalgia, with that magical, slow-motion like remembrance about everyone gathered around a table, enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, ... but for me, it goes beyond that.

tw: mental health + unhealthy eating patterns

I try not to feel ashamed by confessing this, but I can't help but notice how people look at me weird. It's such an automated/basic thing everyone does, and I can't do it? «What do you mean? You need food to live, yet you can't cook nor do the groceries? ». Not quite, but I do need a whole day to do it, and a few days in advance to get myself ready for this mundane task. You see, my brain shuts off whenever I look at what's inside my fridge or pantry - if there's even anything in there to begin. I simply cannot put combine ingredients like you do (and it's not due to lack of knowledge). And whenever I can, it will most likely become my go-to meal for the next few weeks. It's a logistical nightmare to even consider going out to the supermarket. Yes, I could order online - but that's another task on itself. 80% of the times this gets me so overstimulated that, I've ended up (discreetly, I hope) crying in public, on a few occasions.

Don't worry, it's not an everyday occurrence. And for better or for worse, I am too self-conscious and pragmatic for this bad habit to take over. But whenever my neurodivergent brain is going through the slumps (you know: those occasional rough patches that resurface every once in a while, sprinkled with anxiety and depression), I prefer to stay in bed, disassociate and lose track of time, with an empty stomach. Even though I merely switched that moment with another filled with more guilt and shame towards myself. And yes, that also includes going out to eat. That's why I (while trying to play it cool) usually choose what somebody else ordered, or what the waiter recommended. This way nobody suspects anything is wrong with me, right?

Now, if this all seems childish and overly dramatic, congratulations: you are a typical functioning human-being. Believe me when I say this: I feel the same way you do, whenever I hear myself complaining about this «first world problem». But unfortunately, this drains the little energy we have to navigate our daily lives as neurodivergent individuals in a neurotypical world. Especially for those with a very tight monthly budget, who live alone or share a place with people they are not close with. Just like you, I used to find unnecessary and environmentally unfriendly all of those pre-packed, peeled and/or frozen meals, veggies and fruits. Nowadays I am thankful whenever I find them, since they quite literally have saved my life multiple times. Chemicals? Not healthy? Never heard of them. I need fuel to get out of bed and to not rot away. And if that fuel is a frozen lasagne with a weird ingredient list, so be it. I promise I'll compensate in a near future, when I am mentally and physically out of the slump, and I feel capable of asking for help (if needed) or to mask myself again as a typical functioning human-being 💪 So, next time you catch yourself complaining about those «unhealthy and ready to eat meals» or any other «unnacessary invention» that promises to make someone's life easier: take a deep breath, question everything but always try to do it out of pure curiosity. This way you're always reach the correct answer, be apart of less judgemental world, with more acessibility, compassion and solidarity towards one another.

Cooking for you is my love language.

[azrielsdove]

All This Time: Rhys x Reader

Warnings: Short, Little Angst, Little Suggestive

***

“Have you lost your mind?” Rhysand seethed, glaring at you. “Throwing yourself directly in the path of danger?”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and glaring back at him. “I didn’t throw myself into danger. I was trying to help.”

“Help? Help! What you did was not helpful in any way. You acted foolishly and rashly.”

“Well what you rather I done then? Let you be killed?”

“I would not have been killed.”

You scoffed. “Oh, really? From the way I saw it that dagger was seconds from implanting itself into your heart.”

His anger grew, darkness creeping in to the edges of the room. “I am a High Lord. A measly dagger would not end me.”

“Sure,” you agreed, shrugging your shoulders. “But a poisoned one might.”

A great silence encased the space, Rhys’ anger quieting down for a moment. “Poisoned?”

You nodded, holding out your arm and pulling up your sleeve. There lay the cut the dagger had left on your skin.

It was black.

And it was not healing.

Rhys stared at it for a long time before speaking again, voice deadly quiet. “When did you realize?”

“As soon as it happened. No normal cut burns the way this did.”

“And yet you chose to stay silent?”

“You were already angry enough.”

He looked ashamed, his dark anger dissipating. He moved over to you, taking your injured arm carefully in his hands. His fingers traced the wound delicately. He tensed at your small gasp of pain. “Has it gotten worse?”

You shook your head. “Not as far as I can tell. It hurts, but it hasn’t changed.”

He was quiet again, studying your skin as if he would find the cure written there.

“It’s fine, Rhys,” you reassured, trying to get him to look at you.

“It’s not,” he said slowly.

“What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes and you felt the low thrum of his power on your skin. You shifted in discomfort, nervous about what he was going to find. “Rhys,” you whispered as his magic began infiltrating the wound. A slow burning feeling was accompanying his search, getting worse every second he continued. “Rhys,” you said louder, beginning to panic at the pain. He continued what he was doing, as if couldn’t feel your struggle. “Rhys! Stop! Stop!” You cried, trying to pull your arm from him with all your strength. Tears were streaming down your face as you fought against the statue of a man, begging for him to let go.

He finally snapped out of it, dropping your arm in shock. You stumbled, brain fuzzy from the pain. Rhys caught you as you fell, moving the two of you carefully to the ground. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over. “I’m so sorry.”

The burning your arm ceased and you were able to catch your breath, looking at Rhys with concern. “What was that?” You asked warily.

Still staring at the mark on your skin, he responded, “Dark magic. Ancient magic. I haven’t seen anything like this.”

You did not like the sound of that. “Well, did-were you able to, tell, anything?”

His eyes reconnected with yours, worry lining them. “No. As far as I could sense the magic was not any deeper than the skin.” He traced the black line mindlessly with his fingers. “It won’t heal from this, though. The scar will remain as is, until the end of time. Superficial, but ugly.”

“That does not matter to me.”

“And it shouldn’t.” He stood from the floor then, pulling you up with him. He let go of your arm, moving to put his hands on your waist. Your heart stuttered at his closeness, at his eyes looking intently at you. “Yet if you ever, ever, risk your life to save me again, I will lock you in your room.”

You scowled, pushing away from him. “Mother, remind me to not save his life next time.”

“You do not need to play the hero!”

“I wasn’t! I was acting on impulse.”

“Impulse of what? Getting yourself killed?”

“No, Rhys!” You screamed, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “To save you. To help you. Don’t you see? Everything I do is for you!”

He looked you over slowly. “Why?”

Mother, give you strength. “You idiot. I love you, Rhys. I always have. So no, I will never bow away from danger if it means losing you!” The room was silent again. You turned away from him, unable to look at his reaction to your profession. “Just go, okay?”

“No.”

You slowly moved to face him again, shocked when you found he had to moved to right in front of you. “No?” You asked.

“I won’t leave. If I leave, I won’t get to do this.”

You opened your mouth to ask what he meant, but your question was answered before you even spoke by the rough press of his lips against yours. You melted into him instantly, your arms twining around his neck as he held you close. You put all the years of unspoken secrets into the kiss, holding onto Rhys like he was the only light in the world. Everything felt right.

“How long?” He murmured against your lips, refusing to fully break away from you.

“Years. Decades. Centuries,” you whispered, kissing him between each word. “Ever since we met.”

“Since we met,” he repeated, his fingers flexing against your body. He pulled away then, cupping your face in one hand. His thumb ran across your swollen lips, his eyes flashing darkly. “I’ve wanted you for all this time. Needed you. I’ve felt called to you like the stars to night.” He kissed you again, lightning rolling up your spine. “You’re mine.” He began pressing kisses to your face, your jawline, your neck. Anywhere he could get he kissed you like he was starved of it.

“Rhys,” you moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders as he left marks of his teeth along your skin. You had waited forever to feel like this, to have him touch you in such a way. “Rhys, I love you.”

He looked back into your eyes, a small smile on his lips. “And I love you. Risk your life for mine again, and i’ll kill you.” He silenced your argument with his kiss, pulling you down to the bed with him.

Nothing else mattered.

***

this is just a short something, i really wanted to write an argument hahaha. i hope you enjoyed <3

[floweredsoul03]

Hello! I hope I'm sending requests right, because it's rare that I do these. Could you do a Boom!Sonic going on a date with someone who's an introvert and/or has social anxiety? As someone who struggles with this myself, I'm curious to see how that would go; how he'd figure out why they're so quiet and get them out of their shell a bit. I understand if you can't take this request. If you can take your time, no rush! I hope you have a good day/night!💙

Boom!Sonic going on a date with someone who's an introvert / has social anxiety

(Boom!Sonic x Reader)

The first time meeting Sonic:

You decided to stroll around the village to get to know this new place you will now know better as your home. Then you hear screams. Running towards the sound, you see mechanical bees and crabs attacking a burger joint called “Meh Burgers.”

Ready to fight, you unsheathed your katana and used your power to speed it up. One by one, you sliced a crab swiftly with precision.

“What the..!”

You looked up to see a bald, egg-shaped headed man with a mustache way too big not to be considered comical in a floating machine.

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Besides, you’re not even Sonic or his other rodent friends.” The man speaking then put a hand on his chin, thinking. “Or are you? Bah! I can’t remember; who cares anyway. If you want to try and be a hero, you can go ahead and die like one. Attack them!” He pointed towards you.

Looking around, the crabs and bees started surrounding you.

“Not so fast, egghead!” Sonic ran in but then started slipping and looked down. “Ice?” His eyes followed the trail, and it ended with you—someone with a scarf covering half their face and a katana in hand. Before he can do anything, he hears you shout, “Falling snow, adorn my night!”

With a slash in the air with your katana, what looked like a snowstorm surrounded you, leaving you unharmed, unlike the robots that were once surrounding you, now being slashed and beaten around. The storm you created calmed and disappeared once all the robots were destroyed. Unaware that Sonic was stumped in place, he had awe on his face as he was still looking at you.

You just did that all on your own. Sonic has seen other people with powers but hasn’t seen anyone do something quite like what you did.

With a shout of frustration, the man you now knew as Egghead went off, “You’ll pay for that! I hope you’re ready to be paranoid for the rest of your life. Shadows in the corner of your eye, a creak in the floorboard, umm.” He scratches his head, but Sonic spin attacks the eggmobile before he can continue. “Can it already.”

“You just became my new enemy!” Egghead yells as he’s sent flying away.

Once he’s out of sight, you sigh, putting away your katana.

The purpose of going out for a walk was to relax and take a break from spending hours settling into your new home. Not even making it past day one being here, you’ve made an enemy. Granted, you’re confident you can take care of yourself, but just because you know how to fight doesn’t mean you want to go around looking for trouble on purpose.

You tense up when you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turn and see the blue hedgehog that got rid of Egghead. “Those were some sick moves there, and I didn’t even need to step in to help you. Name’s Sonic. And what’s the name of the Ice Prince/Princess.”

In retrospect, you knew off the bat he wasn’t an awful person, and he means well, but your mind shows no mercy. The way he has no problem with direct eye contact with you has you looking anywhere but him. His honest compliment gives a perfect opening to strike up a conversation and possibly make a new friend. Still, experiences of the past haunt you, making you fearful of slipping up and regret saying anything at all. And the way he asked for your name has you panicking. Did Sonic mean to make it sound flirtatious? If he did, that makes the pressure of responding even worse. If he didn’t, you’d feel like an absolute fool and start mentally berating yourself for even thinking of that. What if he called you Ice Prince/Princess because you already came across as a cold individual? You’ve had people tell you that on multiple occasions, more than you would like to admit. Even if he didn’t mean it that way, your mind leads you to these pessimistic thoughts.

He may not think that now, but what if he does later?

You knew you accidentally took too long to respond when you heard Sonic. “Umm. Are you okay?”

Great. Now, he probably thinks that something’s wrong with me.

Panicking, you couldn’t take it anymore.

Sonic is taken aback when suddenly you’re gone, but there is a frozen fog where your feet once stood, running away into an alley.

“Wait!” He tries running after you without stepping on the trail of ice. But then he comes to an intersection where a massive mess of ice and snow is left behind, and the trail has ended. It gave Sonic whiplash how every move you made during the fight looked calculated and confident, ruthless with your attacks, with a steeliness in your eyes. Still, once the fight was over, it was as if you became an entirely different person. Eyes shift anywhere but him, your thumb scratching and rubbing the handle of your blade where your hand was placed, and slight sweat begins forming on your forehead that wasn’t there when you were fighting.

Their powers consist of ice; isn’t that supposed to help with heat? Sonic thought to himself.

Disappointed, he looks around one last time before running off.

You’re grateful for this because not even a moment later, the sneeze you were holding comes out on its own. You knew you couldn't outrun him, so you caused the mess on purpose to make it seem you completely vanished when, in reality, you were hiding behind a dumpster.

How you two become friends:

If Sonic thought it would be a one-time thing, he would have been dead wrong. The few times when there was a moment when it seemed an opponent had the upper hand, you’d show up out of nowhere to help and then disappear. Of course, with this happening, Sonic’s whole gang knew about you now.

Most were convinced you were a good person, just not the best at socializing. Sticks, on the other hand, was still on edge.

But that didn’t stop Amy when she saw you coming out of a store with a bag. She instantly lit up; she and the rest of her friends hardly saw you around when they went… well, anywhere. She had a clue that you probably struggled socially, so maybe she can help you and become friends.

So she walked up to you and said, “Hello there.”

You jumped slightly in surprise before turning around, “Hi.” You felt nerves prick your hands slightly, but it seemed like thanks to the fact that you had an idea of how much of a sweetheart Amy is -as long as you didn’t purposely do or say something rude- you weren’t as skittish around her compared to the day when you first encountered Sonic.

“Thanks for helping me and my friends whenever we’re in a rough situation.”

You shook your head, “It’s no problem.”

They seem nervous yet gentle. Sonic must’ve meant this when he said they’re different when not fighting. Amy thought to herself.

“I’m sorry for always running off.” You carefully chose your following words before Amy beat you to it.

“Interacting with others is hard for you?”

Even though she asked, you can tell it was more of a statement than a question. Some of her warmth and gentleness rubbed off and made it easier to look at her as you nodded.

“How about we become friends, and I’ll slowly introduce you to everyone else?”

You’ve made some friends in the past, but sometimes life happens, and you part ways. You’ve met people in the past who you called friends, but as time passed, you noticed it seemed like they invited you into their already tight-knit group out of pity. And you’ve had people you thought were friends but made you feel small in your life.

However, for some reason, it didn’t feel like Amy was asking you out of pity. You knew she was a good person, and you couldn’t help but feel like once you said yes, there was no way she would let you drift away so easily. So you took the leap of faith and said yes.

The day you were forced to have to face Sonic was an accident. You and Amy were sitting on the couch talking about who she should introduce you to when Sonic just barged in, and his sight landed on you, forgetting what he was initially there for.

“It’s you!” He ran and sat next to you. “Talk about a cold shoulder. You’re hanging out with Amy but don’t have enough time to spare for me? I’m hurt.” He says dramatically, his hands clutching the area where his heart is.

“Sonic.” Amy chides. Annoyed already that things aren’t going the way she hoped. She wanted to talk to her friends about your social anxiety and introvert tendencies before they talk to you.

“It’s fine, Amy.” You assured her. If Sonic is still making jokes with you, then maybe that means he didn’t take you running off multiple times as an offense. “I’m sorry for always running away. I’m not the best at talking to people, so please don’t think it’s something personal.”

Sonic waves you off as he lays back with his arms behind his head and his feet propped up on the table. “It’s fine, I get it. You couldn’t look at or talk to me; you started fidgeting with your sword, sweating, and running away. So that means despite being able to produce ice at will, you just couldn’t stay cool enough not to have the hots for me. Am I right, or am I right?”

You swear you felt yourself malfunctioning at that moment, “What?”

Amy smacked Sonic’s feet off the table so hard he almost fell off from where he was sitting.

“Sonic.” Her tone of warning.

“Yes, I heard you the first time; I don’t have amnesia; I know my name, Amy.”

You thank whatever gods are up there that you wear a scarf.

Sonic helping you out of your comfort zone:

Amy would inform him about what she’s learned from you about your social anxiety. He does like you. Even though he tends to be blunt, rude, and shortsighted about others' feelings, being around you might help him become more considerate of others' emotions.

But he is not perfect, so don’t expect him to be 100% a saint.

Sonic decided to take over introductions as his duty as a hero of the people. Or so he says.

Did Amy agree? No.

Does Sonic care? No.

When the day came, you decided you were ready to meet the next person in their group; Sonic was ecstatic for you to meet his best friend, Tails. He told you to wait home, and he’d bring him over. He did not tell you that they were both coming over on hoverboards.

You couldn’t help but notice how much fun they looked.

“You’re (Y/n), yes? Sonic said you’ll be joining us today.” The fox you assume is Tails comes up next to you with a hoverboard in one arm before handing it over to you.

Before you can say that you don’t know how to ride one, Tails continues, “Don’t think that just because you never knew before means you still can’t learn now. I’ll teach you.”

As silly as it may sound, you can’t help but feel like you just gained a younger brother.

And that’s how Sonic was getting you comfortable with meeting more of his friends, making these outings fun enough for you to forget about society and live in the moment.

The moment he knew he was in love with you:

Shadow was attacking you and your friends. Well, now, only you since he knocked out the rest. Amy already sent a request for backup from Sonic before she passed out. You were doing the best you could to hold out. You can parry some attacks and sense when he teleports, but the problem is his speed. You can cloak yourself into a frozen fog when he runs at you, but he can still get a few hits. You’ve only been able to do more defense moves than offense. You can use your ability to go faster, but it’s not super speed like Sonic.

When you were wondering if you might fail your friends, Sonic arrived. And when the battle was over, you stood in silence for a moment when, for some reason, a giggle left your lips. Which then turned into laughter.

Sonic asked if you were okay when he saw how you looked.

Your scarf had fallen off from your fight with Shadow, showing your face for the first time. Your smile was big yet still held a gentleness like your voice.

And your laughter.

Whenever you laughed before, it was usually just a closed-mouth giggle. The most Sonic could get out of you was when you placed your hand over your scarf where your mouth was to keep yourself from bursting out. But now here you are. Laughing out loud unapologetically without holding back.

You looked beautiful even with a messy hairstyle, dirtied clothes, and bruises. There was a sunset with a chaotic mess of ice surrounding you.

An ice-ability user with a warm heart.

“After everything we’ve been through, I have no idea how we’re still alive; it makes no sense!” You laughed. Your laughter started feeling contagious to Sonic, and he joined in.

How he would confess to you:

As much as Sonic makes it seem like he’s not a sappy person when he puts in the work, he’s exposed as actually being a softy. He wants to make this special, and he does.

You feel drained and desperately need to recharge. You care and love your friends, but if you don’t care for yourself when you feel this way, you start getting irritated and feel a bit snappy. You’ve done a good job holding back from doing or saying anything you know you don’t mean, but it still scares you now and then that it might happen one day. Yes, arguments have happened amongst your friends, but you try your best to be the neutral side.

Saying your goodbyes, you head home. However, once you are away from your friends, Sonic runs beside you. “I made plans today for just the two of us.”

“I’m sorry, Sonic, but I’m not in the mood for anything hectic right now.”

Sonic panicked, “You’re going home to rest up, right? Well, it just so happens that my plans involve both of us just slowing down for once.”

You blinked. “Did I hear that correctly? Sonic T. Hedgehog, ‘the fastest being alive,’ Mr. ‘can’t be tamed,’ Mr. ‘can’t slow down’ has made plans to take it easy for once? Is it the end of the world?” You then poked his shoulder. “Is this secretly Metal Sonic with a new upgrade from Dr. Eggman? A new ploy to let our guard down and destroy everything on Seaside Island?”

“Ha ha, very funny. You know, you’re starting to sound like Sticks,” He took your hand to hold in his and started leading you away. “Don’t underestimate me. I can be unpredictable when I want to be—slowing down? No problem. We’ll start by just walking down to Meh Burgers. No running.”

“I look forward to seeing if you can back up your words.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Sure enough, you and Sonic walked to Meh Burgers hand in hand without running. Before you mentally prepare to speak to the cashier, Sonic says, “You can go ahead and find us a table; I’ll order.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s not a problem for me.” He waved, reassuring you before he walked away.

You find a table to sit at and wait for Sonic. Unfortunately, your mind starts to take a cynical path. You chose a table that you hoped seemed inconspicuous, but it still doesn’t change the fact that there’s not really a hiding spot in an open area like this.

Did you stand out negatively? Why does it feel like a giant neon light is pointing at you? Is there someone here talking about how weird you stick out? Are some of them pitying you, thinking you’re eating here alone?

Distracted by your overwhelming thoughts, you don’t sense Sonic arriving with the food. “Everybody else is busy in their own world.” You jump slightly, hearing his voice. “If you listen closely, you can hear them talking about something they got going on.” He says as he places down the tray.

When you listen, you hear conversations about visiting family, going to a theatre, and shopping. Your thoughts and emotions slow, and you feel like you can breathe properly. You miss Sonic's gentle smile before he changes the subject to something he knows makes you happy and allows your mind to drift away from negative thoughts.

You and Sonic are walking hands together to the beach. Sonic has seen more than enough sunsets, but this time, he needs it now more than ever to help ease his nerves and confess to you.

Sitting down, you noticed that something was off with him, but instead of asking immediately, you decided to watch the sunset and wait awhile for him to hopefully feel comfortable enough to talk about it—emphasis on hopefully.

He takes a breath before taking out a Starfruit, “Do you want to share?”

Others may think it's a small gesture; however, you recall reading a story and telling Sonic about a scene where a character mentions that if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They will remain a part of each other's lives no matter what.

Your heartbeat quickens, and your face warms up, but not because of anxiety.

He knew you needed to rest and recharge, so the fastest person alive slowed down for you. He also knew how nice-looking restaurants make you paranoid about whether you're overdressed or underdressed and whether you're showing proper etiquette, so he took you to a burger joint. He knows how you rehearse every interaction with a cashier multiple times in your head so you don't screw up and make a fool out of yourself, so he went and did it for you. He noticed that your mind had taken over and nearly drowned you with your thoughts, and he helped pull you out. And right now, in this moment, he remembered a small detail in a story you’ve only talked about once.

“I’m not the best at talking about my feelings, but I hope you know what I’m trying to say.”

For once, without a doubt, you hold Sonic’s free hand by the wrist to gently pull it towards you and use an index finger to draw a heart.

Sonic lets out a breath of relief before whispering, “That’s good.” He had a big smile on his face.

A/N: Did I give the reader similar powers of Kazuha and Ayaka from Genshin Impact? Yes, I did. Did I make reference to The Case Study of Vanitas? Yes, I did. Did I also make a reference to Kingdom Hearts? Yes, I did. Do I regret any of it? No 😈😂

[moody-alcoholic]

On a Wing and a Prayer

Part 11 - Epilogue

CW: nightmares.

AN: I have had so much fun writing this. It was such a breath of fresh air to take a break from my main series and write a quick 'mini fic'. I have other ideas for more 'mini fic's' in the future. For now I thought I should wrap this up. Thank you for everyone who liked commented and shared this around, even for people who just read it and enjoyed it, thank you so much and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

Previous parts - masterlist

As soon as Simon is discharged you all fly back to the UK.

You end up at the house with Simon on bed rest. Not that he listens, he’s worse than Johnny was. You stay in the house with them, sleeping in the bed with Simon so you can help him when he needs to pee in the middle of the night. 

John has been busy cleaning up the mess from the base as well as making sure Simon doesn’t get discharged. Him and Kyle usually spend their days out at a base somewhere leaving you Johnny and Simon at the house. You don’t mind, you’ll spend as much time as you can with them. 

Johnny cooks and cleans, Simon jokes he’s turning into a housewife. When you offer to help none of them will have it, doting on you almost as much as Simon. 

“You don’t have to feel guilty. I can do things for myself.” You remind them. 

“Don’t even think about it. What did you want? A sandwich?” Johnny asks and sticks his head out from round the kitchen. 

“Cheese and pickle.” You smile. Simon’s hands grip your waist pulling you back up against him.

“And a packet of quavers.” He whispers in your ear.

“And a packet of quavers.” You call. You lay back against him and he kisses your head. 

“You’re one tough cookie, you know that.” He says after a few minutes of silence. You turn to look up at him, frowning. 

“What Graves put you through. What I-” He chokes on the words. You break away from his embrace. 

“Stop. We don’t have to talk about this.” You say bringing your hand up to stroke his cheek. You sigh watching his eyes drop. 

“Simon.” You stop, you're not sure what you want to say. You pick up one of his hands. “It’s okay, I spent months in therapy, It’s part of the job. You were just doing your job.” 

He hangs his head and sighs. “It’s not fair, we shoulda waited, you deserve better.” You lean over and kiss him. Deep pressing your tongue in his mouth, you wrap one of your hands round the back of his neck. You pull away from the kiss put keep your forehead on his. 

“You don’t get to feel guilty Simon Riley. I forgive you. I love you.” You sit back on your knees looking at him, squeezing his hand, you smile. 

“I love you too.” He says. You rub his cheek again then turn to lay back in his arms. As soon as his arm has come round your chest, he plants a kiss on your head and Johnny comes in with a plate of food. Simon leans over picking up the packet of quavers. 

“Nothing else till later you’ll spoil yer tea, John’s bringing fish n' chips.” Johnny says walking out the room. You smile and reach over for your plate.

…

You must have fallen asleep in Simon’s arms because the slamming of the front door jumps you out of what was starting to feel like an overly realistic dream. The smell of fish and chip fat fills your nose as John and Kyle walk into the living room. 

“Have you two been sat their all day?” Kyle asks, kicking his shoes off. 

“Mother won’t let us leave.” You say, your voice grumbles with sleep. Simon starts to sit up and you do the same yawning and stretching your arms and legs. John has gone out into the kitchen while Kyle opens the bags of food on the coffee table. 

“Got cod, chips, peas and scraps. What do you want?” Kyle asks, John comes back with plates. Kyle serves Simon as John comes over to kiss the top of your head. You look up at him smiling.

“Busy day?” You ask as he strokes your chin with his thumb. 

“Always busy when we’re around.” John says going over to the other sofa. As Kyle piles a plate high with chips and fish for him, then passes it to him with a fork. 

“Heard back from the medical board yet?” Johnny asks as he comes into the room with a bottle of pop and glasses. 

“As a matter of fact-” John starts as he rests the plate on his lap reaching over to his bag next to the sofa. He rummages through muttering to himself until he pulls out a piece of paper. He hands it out to Simon. “Expect to see you back for duty in a month, Lieutenant.” John smiles. Johnny’s giddy snatching the paper out John's hand and reading it like he almost doesn’t believe it. 

“Fuck you got a whole 2 months off. I only got a month.” He says reaching over to hand it to Simon. “I even had one of those lung things.” He says, shaking his head, clicking his fingers at you. 

“A lung resection.” You say leaning over Simon's shoulder to look at the letter. 

“Took half me bloody lung out! I’ll never smoke again.” He says sitting down on the sofa next to John. You look at Kyle chuckling and scooting back on the floor to sit between John's legs. 

“You don’t smoke Johnny.” You say looking back over at him. John is fishing through his bag for something else. He reaches out to you. It’s folded up in an envelope. 

“Transfer papers. For you to sign. That is if you really do want to come back.” There’s silence in the room, the only noise coming from the low volume of the TV, everyone is looking at you as you reach out to take the papers. You smile nodding then sit back on the sofa opening them up. 

You hear Johnny and Kyle start up a conversation as you read over the standard legal jargon of the contract. You do want to join 141 again, you just hope nothing has changed.

…

You dream a lot about your torture, thats normal thats to be expected. When it’s a good day it’s Graves and his faceless shadows. When it’s a bad day its John and Simon, Simon never has his mask on unlike your actual torture. 

He didn’t do it, Ghost did. That's what you tell yourself when you wake in a pool of sweat panting, feeling like someone is sitting on your chest. Your legs and arms tingle. 

Yesterday was a good day, but you dreamt it was John. You look over in the bed trying to slow your breathing. Simon’s back is turned to you, you can hear him snoring softly. You turn over in bed sitting up. Your transfer papers sit on your bedside table, illuminated by the crack in the curtains. 

You get up and sneak out the room trying to be as quiet as you can so you don’t wake Simon. You step over the hall to John’s room. When you push the door open you see him and Kyle lying in bed. Suddenly you want to go back, leave them be. 

You can’t, you want to be with them. You slowly crawl on the bottom of the bed, Kyle has his back pressed up against John, as soon as he feels you start to wiggle between him he snaps awake. 

“Hey love, you okay?” Kyle asks making room so you can crawl in. 

“Yeah.” You whisper shuffling under the sheets. John turns around in the bed his arm coming over you to reach Kyle. A second later he seems to notice you in the bed, his hand comes up to brush your face.

“Something wrong, you’ve been crying love?” He says his voice deep from sleep. You didn’t even realise that. 

“I just missed you,” You say, turning to face him. His thumb brushes your cheeks, your eyes have adjusted to the light and you can see his eyes shining in the dark. 

“We’re all here.” Kyle says shifting up behind you pulling your shoulder slightly so you lay against him. You smile. 

“I know, I know you are.” You say, closing your eyes. Kyle kisses the top of your head and John moves closer to you pulling the duvet up to your neck. He kisses you, a soft peck on your lips, you feel the tickle of his beard. His arm rests on your waist, rubbing your side as he breaks away from the kiss. 

You close your eyes letting them hold you in their arms, the sound of their breathing lulls you back to sleep. 

…

You’re up early the next morning slipping out the bed before anyone else is up. You’re sat at the kitchen island with a cup of tea in your hands when John makes his way over to the coffee machine. 

“Mornin’” he says, turning it on. 

“You going to the base today?” You ask taking a sip as he takes a mug down from the cupboard.

“Yeah, still got a bunch of intel to go through on the Makarov leads.” he says, turning to look at you while the coffee machine warms up. You slide the envelope over to him. 

“Think I can help?” You ask, smiling. He comes round to you, throwing his arms around you before you have a chance to stop him. He buries his nose into your neck and you hug him back. 

“You know for a second I was worried you changed your mind.” He breaks from the hug cupping your cheeks. 

“I love you.” You say. He kisses you.

“I love you too.” You smile the biggest smile at him as you hear the coffee machine beep.  

“Mornin’ lass sleep well?” Johnny asks, his hand landing on your back. John gets up going back to the coffee machine. 

“Yeah. I did.” You smile going to take another sip of your tea. 

You sleep well that night too, squished between Johnny and Simon. There are no more bad day or good day dreams. Nightmares come sometimes but it’s always Graves and his faceless shadows, and when you do wake in a panic someone is always there. John or Simon, Kyle or Johnny. They’re always by your side.  

You stick by their side too, besides someone has to pull the bullets out of them.

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[lady0mandy]

TL;DR: Fatshaming did not motivate me to lose weight, it programmed me to always hate my body, no matter the size.

Just wanted to weigh in with my personal experience with this matter. I was fat shamed, primarily by my mother, from the time I hit puberty. I was borderline underweight at this time, but my mother would still get on me about losing weight so I didn't get "bloatus of the toadus" or whatever the fuck she used to call it. In highschool it got a lot worse, with her criticizing my stomach every time she saw it and openly making comments about my body around family, friends, etc. I stopped letting her visit the doctor with me because I didn't want to hear her giving me shit every time they weighed me. She even asked the photographer who took my senior photos to edit them to make me skinnier (he was very uncomfortable and luckily did not do that). I repeatedly tried to explain to her why this behavior is inappropriate, and I would always get the same responses: "I'm just worrying about you" "I just care about you" "I just want you to be healthy" etc.

When I was 19 I broke my spine. As a result I put on about 15-20lbs and let me tell ya, all hell broke loose. The guy I was seeing at the time was fatphobic and would fatshame me on a daily basis while also trying to control what I ate and what I did in my spare time. I repeatedly tried to explain to him why what he was doing was hurting me, and all he could say was "it hurts because it is true" Eventually I had enough and kicked him to the curb. I remember trying to confide in my family about his cruel behavior and each time my mom couldn't help but chime in "he's right, you know!".

Do you know what over a decade of fatshaming did for me? Well, first of all it gave me a pretty messy eating disorder. Some days I wouldn't eat anything. Some days I would eat everything. Some days I would purge until nothing was left. However, it wasn't until I developed thyroid cancer that I saw a genuine change in my weight. I put on 50lbs fairly quickly and it had a detrimental impact on my self esteem. My entire life I had been told my worth was dependent on how skinny I was, and now I was rapidly gaining weight. I started hearing the same things my mother and ex used to tell me, but from a lot of other people as well. I quit making my silly little tiktoks and sharing my silly little opinions on the Internet because I couldn't handle the waves of trolls coming at me for my weight. I quit wearing makeup because I felt that I didn't deserve it. I quit dressing up because I felt I didn't deserve it. I couldn't look at photos of myself without wanting to cry. I couldn't eat a meal without feeling guilt and shame. I didn't feel motivated by their cruelty, I felt defeated. I felt helpless. I felt like a disgusting waste of space that didn't deserve to live.

I have made some major improvements over the past year or so. I have been working with a therapist on the ED for a couple years now and this past year I have done really well. I still have days where I don't eat, but I can't remember the last time I purged or over ate. I got my thyroid out, and my weight is returning to where it was. People have been complimenting me, telling me how great I look, how noticeable it is, how hard I must be working, etc and instead of making me feel happy or proud it just makes me feel like shit. I still hate who I see in the mirror. I still hate my stomach and my chin and the fat around my arms. I bought some new makeup and I'm trying to put more effort into my appearance, but all I see in the mirror is a clown. Fatshaming did not motivate me to lose weight, it programmed me to always hate my body, no matter the size.

Anyways, I doubt anybody is going to read all this but it felt good to type it out. Don't fatshame. It never helps.

The number of times I've earnestly seen the take "but it's good for fat people to be mean to them! It motivates them to lose weight!"

Also whenever you provide even light pushback that maybe bullying people does not magically make them skinny but instead makes them depressed, they immediately demand scientific sources as if "bullying fat people is good for them" is scientific concensus and you therefore owe them a peer reviewed paper.

No babe I'm so sorry you're not actually doing people a service by being an asshole to them you just want an acceptable target and have decided that fat people are one. You don't get to be a bad person until you've produced 3 peer reviewed meta analyses that being a dick to random fat people improves their health, OK? I'm sure people will thank you for your invaluable service of being an asshole.

[demonic0angel]

By some plot twist, Danny has also become a borrower and Cass is looking after him, maybe Cass and Jason put them in the same doll house lol

Part 1

“No! No! Absolutely not!” Jazz said, stomping her feet. “Jason made this house for me! I don’t have room for you!”

“Ancients, Jazz, I can just sleep on the couch or something!” Danny protested, gesturing to the couch that Jason had also made, stuffed into the tiny living room. “You have plenty of room!”

Jazz was fuming, glaring at Danny before looking at Jason pleadingly.

Jason inwardly clenched his fists and sobbed from happiness, but on the outside, he had a simple and reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Princess. I’ll make him something and he can sleep in the living room, if that’s okay? You’ll still have everything else.”

Jazz scowled but nodded. She kicked at the ground and mumbled, “I’m already useless and can’t do anything, can’t I just have one thing to myself…?”

Now even Danny looked guilty, while Cass, who was nearby, also paused. Jason cooed and reached over to brush a finger against Jazz’s cheek. “You’re not useless. You’re just small, so things will be harder, but you’ll be back to normal in a jiffy, I promise you. The house is still yours and I’ll get you new stuff, alright?”

Jazz nodded again, looking appeased before she sighed and waved over Danny. “C’mon, I guess you can try on my clothes or something. Jason got me sweatpants, so those will probably fit.”

“Change your outfit too?” Jason asked pleadingly at Jazz, who huffed but agreed. He just loved seeing her all dolled up. She was usually dressed so formally, but since she was smaller now, he got to see her in a wider variety of fashion.

He turned to Cass when Danny and Jazz disappeared into the dollhouse’s bedroom. “So… what’re you going to do now?”

She shrugged. “Can I help with anything?” She asked softly, and Jason returned the shrug with one arm.

“We might need some more food, but I think there’s enough for both of them. I asked one of my men who makes doll stuff to make a lot of clothes for Jazz, so there should be something that Danny can fit into as well. There’s not much they need, so I can take care of them for now.”

Cass wilted. “… okay. I just want to help.”

Oh right, she had been there when Danny was cursed too. Jason reached over to rub her shoulder. “I know. How about this? You can stay and watch over them both and get them anything they need if they ask for it, alright? I need to get more stuff done so I can also spend time with Jazz.”

Cass nodded firmly. Then they were both completely distracted as Jazz and Danny came out of the room with new outfits all made by Jason’s goon.

‘That guy is definitely getting a raise,’ Jason thought, as he and Cass lifted their phones and started taking a crazy amount of pictures.

[heartilywrites]

je t'aime, je t'attends ; c. hyunju

request guide | masterlist

summary: where you found your girlfriend participating in a series of deadly games.

cw: angst ; a bit suggestive ; a shit ton of narration and little dialogs, cho hyunju x fem!reader ; reader is a triangle guard 🗣 ; no use of y/n

wc: 2.3k

a/n: i love joining new fandoms, HI GUYS i've been simping for hyunju ever since i saw her and i needed to write for her or i'd die. hope y'all like it <33 feel free to request if you want, i'm a bit behind my rqs now bc of work but i'll do my best to write more for hyunju !!

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ Player 450

The robotic voice order, with your scope you looked for the poor soul, shooting without a second thought. When looking at the rest of the players, a familiar face was recognized by your orbs.

You knew that profile like the palm of your hand, you’ve spent way too many hours looking at it that it was burnt into your memory like your life depended on it. You had to be dreaming, licking your lips after a shaky sigh made the only sound in the small room you focused again on the woman. The number 120 was distinguishable on the back of her sweater as you made sure to memorize it, she was covering people behind her and a small sour smile painted on your lips, Hyunju didn’t change.

Your mind couldn’t concentrate anymore, what was she doing there? You’ve asked her time to get the money she needed, did you take too long? Did the salesman find her after you left? You were sure that was the case, if you knew she had been invited you’d done everything in your power to stop her from participating. A last gunshot was heard, you were quick to look over your scope; your heart stopped for a moment when you saw blood staining Hyunju’s face, but when your eyes concentrated on her and the kill was confirmed to be another player, you allowed yourself to relax a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ Soldiers who have completed your mission, please line up outside the sniper rooms.

As if your own hearts were able to feel the presence of the other blindly, while you were putting away the gun given to you, your body began to tremble just like Hyunju was down at the play arena. Both scared for the woman’s life now, you didn’t know what to do moving forward.

You thought back to when the Masked Officer had recruited you offering a generous sum of money that could solve all your problems if you did a couple of tasks and your first thought was your girlfriend, on the future that could be forged for the two of you after receiving the money, you had imagined the two of you living a quiet life in Thailand as per request from Hyunju, you didn’t care what the job could be about or if it meant blotch your hands in blood. You’ve done it before, you were a very well trained defense guard who was struggling to find a stable job, most people didn’t care about your time in the korean military force or if you were one of the best snipers from your battalion they all ‘needed a man for the job’. You couldn’t rely on Hyunju either as she had been facing unemployment too for quite some time now, you had reassured her that you’d take care of the bills however you could.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I’ll go back to being a guard for clubs if I have to,” you said to the woman while preparing dinner, a small sigh was heard from her that made you turn. You walked over to where she was sitting and took her face in your warm hands thanks to the fire of the stove. “It’s okay, Hyune, I got this. We’ll make it out of here, trust me.”

One of her hands looked to rest on your wrist, a sad grimace painted on her face. “You shouldn’t have to do this alone. I should be able to help you, to help myself… I want to contribute too.”

‍Your lips left a small kiss on her forehead. “We’ll be fine, my love, I promise.”

The mere memory made your heart ache with anguish, you had to get her out of there, you had to make sure she wins these games. You had to… You had to let her know you were there, didn't you? Maybe in that way she could feel more protected… Or maybe she would hate you for being there, maybe she’d break up with you, call you a monster, question how could you do that to innocent people?

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey, twenty-three, can you believe what eleven is doing?” a distorted voice asked behind you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Couldn’t care less,” you said back, your voice sounded completely different too. After leaving the briefcase you were carrying back into place and taking a different gun you walked over the entrance. “I’m not part of the business and I don’t care what happens with it, I told you.”

‘I have more important things to worry about’ you thought to yourself while following one of the square soldiers and accommodating the strap of the gun on your shoulders.

You saw all the players grouped at the back of the big bedroom, you thanked the gods you were wearing a mask as your eyes looked desperately for Hyunju while the soldier was speaking, you didn’t care what was being discussed at all. Even when the so famous player 456 was talking you couldn’t force yourself to pay attention until a specific line that came from his mouth caught your thoughts.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Let us take our vote right now.” your eyes looked at the man with hope, your heart filled with gratitude, at least someone was sane enough.

Without turning your head upwards, you saw the prize being announced and a sigh left your mouth, your full attention was now on the room and each player as well as your superior.

You were asked to be beside the podium, you walked a little too quick for your taste. You positioned yourself while looking forward at each player and counting on your head the x’s, hoping they would win. And then Hyunju was called over, when you noticed your hands shaking you held tighter to your gun, you noticed she doubted for a second and then voted the circle. Your eyes shut and a shaky breath came out your mouth, you had to stay composed, you couldn’t break down there.

And when the circles won the poll, the players were told they needed to rest and feast for tomorrow’s games. The group walked out leaving a couple of triangles and the circle soldiers who were handing the food. After being instructed to leave for the night, you walked over to your small room and allowed yourself to break down once the door closed behind you. Leaning against the door you let your tears roll down on your face, how could life be so cruel to you? You just wanted to make your girlfriend happy and now she was condemned to die on an island away from home, you wouldn’t be able to even take her home with you.

No, you couldn’t think like that, you wouldn’t release that energy into the universe, you had to take care of her now. It didn’t matter if it cost you your own life, you would ensure Hyunju won the games. You would be like a hawk, watching over her as much as you could. The officer was more than pleased to see you ask for more responsibility, you tried to be where the players were at all times. Behind the triangle mask you were constantly watching Hyunju, following her discreetly on the six-legs game arena and cursing people who looked at her bad under your breath. You found yourself almost celebrating your girlfriend’s win with her group, thankfully you stopped before. After seeing Hyunju win, hope began to occupy your heart fully, convincing yourself there was a chance she could win this games, that she would be free.

At night you stayed to cover for a little, after all, you weren’t that sleepy now. Leaning your back on the wall you saw your colleague deny a permission to go to the bathroom and at first you weren’t against it, you knew the rules too, but when the older woman began to ramble about her bladder issues, you stood up again.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I got this, I’ll take them.” you said to your company before they opened the door, a small thank you was said from the other guard.

When the door was opened and you saw the woman smile a giggle almost escaped your mouth, but any trace of a smile faded when Hyunju let herself show asking to go too. Your breath got stuck on your lungs as you watched closer now, forcing yourself to guide them to the bathroom, that was your time, you had to talk to her now.

You stayed outside for a few minutes to allow them to do their business and after a couple of minutes you turned to look everywhere hoping not to see anyone approaching, you knew the bathrooms didn’t have cameras so you took advantage of it to walk in.

Hyunju was watching her own reflection, it made your heart pound hard against your chest, she was as beautiful as ever. Brown eyes turned to look at you with a confused frown on her.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Do we need to-” she began to speak, being interrupted by your distorted voice.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “At ease, sergeant.” you said making her freeze on the spot, blinking a couple of times, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

You two had met back when she was in the military forces, before she came out as the Hyunju you’ve been loving for some time now. At first you were just really good friends, but as time passed you couldn’t help falling in love with each other. You were there for her at every step, inviting her to live with you when everything was just going from bad to worse for her, losing her job, gaining debts one after the other, having everyone turn on her… But you, oh you were her rock, her place to rest from the crude world and now there you were, in a pink suit with that horrible symbol on your face that has been taunting her dreams for the last couple of nights.

Your name fell from her lips on a small whisper that could almost go unnoticed if you weren’t paying your full attention to her, you released your gun and took the mask from your face, tears wetting your cheeks and she held the bathroom sink tighter under her hands.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hyunju…” you whispered back, breathing in deep to calm yourself.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What are you doing here?” the two of you asked at the same time, she shook her head. “You shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be in that suit… What are you doing?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Trying to get the money to flee this shitty place.” you answered, taking a step towards her that she took back. “Hyunju, please.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Why would you accept to do this?” she asked now, you bit your lower lip for a moment.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Because I want you to be happy, I want us to start from zero, to have the life we deserve.” you started to answer, walking slowly her way to not scare her away. “We deserve to be happy, don’t you think, my love?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You shouldn’t have come here, you shouldn’t have accepted it, we shouldn’t be here.” she began to speak a little faster and when you let your hands rest on her face she looked directly into your eyes.

Warm hands thanks to the gloves you were required to use made her feel at ease, made her feel like home. Troubled eyes were looking at each other, but you can sense the love and strong connection in them. Even in such a dangerous place with death itself roaming in every room, the love Hyunju and you shared had such power that could make any other emotion drown.

A silent discussion was held and not even a second later, your lips met each other with such hunger like you’ve been starving for so long, like you were far from the other for years. Without distancing from Hyunju you pushed the gun to your back so you could get as close as humanly possible with her, your right hand pulled her closer by the neck making Hyunju whimper for a small second, you smiled over her lips.

Aching hands looked to sneak under her shirt while her own hands clumsily tried to undo your suit, it was the sound of a flushing toilet that made the both of you jump and stopped grudgingly. Hungry eyes just looked at her as she was composing herself, Hyunju left a small sigh sound before looking again your way.

 ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We have to get out of here,” she whispered, now Hyunju was the one holding your face in her own hands, you closed your eyes for a moment. “The two of us, safe and sound.”

 ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You need to win the games.” you said back, opening your eyes again. “Do you remember our signal?”

Hyunju thought for a moment before taking away one of her hands to show you the sign you two had come up with back in your military days, you giggled and nodded.

 ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I’ll be in every game watching over you, okay? When you see a guard doing it, know it’s me.” you whispered, she nodded too and stole another kiss from you. “We need to go back before the other guard comes to check, tell them, I’ll wait outside.”

The woman nodded again and as you were rearranging your suit, Hyunju pulled you in for a last kiss making you giggle like a teenager, almost giving in, but lastly stepping away and pulling your mask back on. You didn’t know how you’d make her win, but you had to go back home with her alive, you’ll figure it out in the way, but for now the only thing you could do was protect her.

[mercury2venus]

CHAPTER 3

BACK 2 BACK

Warnings : straight SMUT, dirty talk. Real nasty y’all. MDNI.

We fucked. I mean he had me hanging halfway off the balcony screaming to the entire city of New York just how good Kyle Alexander was fucking me. 

It was New Year's Day and I needed to get my story typed up as soon as possible. I creeped out of the bed picking up the articles of clothing I was stripped from. I looked around the room, drinking in its appearance. God...we did some freaky shit. After getting dressed and getting lost in his big ass penthouse I bid adieu to the maid. And slipped out of the place. 

Then I realized I didn't drive here. Shit. I ran back in and dialed the only person I could trust to keep this to themselves. 

" Hello Who is this ? " she answered.  Monica was my best friend and held me down through it all but I know this shit was going to be a topic with her for days. 

'It's Mecca." I mumbled. “Look I just need you to come pick me up I'm at a friend house and I'm honestly not trying to overstay my welcome.” I gave her the address and begged her to hurry. 

I heard Monica laugh and agreed to be on her way. 

I watched her cherry red Porsche pull up, bumping some Jodeci. She just had to draw attention while I tried to make a quiet escape. I got in the car and seen the smug look on her face. " So.." Monica held back a laugh. Who fuckin house is that ? " 

" Just drive Mo." 

That was 2 months ago. Kyle called and called. Sent roses, left voicemails. Wrote me letters. All asking what did he do wrong ? And Why am I avoiding him. The answer was guilt. I never slept with someone I interviewed. It was classless and I hate myself for it but the dick was so good I found myself in perpetual daydreams.

 

Today I was a guest speaker at NY Fashion institute the article I did on Kyle got the attention of well everyone. I was proud of it, it truly was my best one to date.

I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear hoping my updo would stay in tact at least till I get back home.  

Speaking to the students was a dream come true, They were so engaged and really has alot of commentary.  

" Hi Ms. Ali , I'm Fallon Brooks, Junior. i just wanted to tell you that seeing a Black Woman in journalism owning her own magazine. calling the shots, showing the world that we are more than what the media shows is inspiring to this little Black girl from Atlanta, Georgia. You mean the world to us and i just really wanted to say Thank you so much. she laughed. 

I wanted to cry this is why I do it, for all my little Black girls who felt unheard, went unseen, their well deserved opportunities given to white mediocre counterparts. 

" Thank you...God I'm gonna cry." I laughed. I wiped my tears and smiled. 

After speaking to the students, I walked towards the bathroom I had somewhere to be in a bit and I wanted to make sure I looked great. 

" Mecca." 

Damn. So much for avoidance. I turned around with a small smile. His eyebrows raised as if he's waiting for an explanation. " Mr. Alexander ...Hi." I spoke. 

He tilted his head and walked towards me. He got close to my ear," After making you cum 5 times I'd think you'd refer to me as what I told you to call me." He said softly.

Cocky much ? 

" Having sex with you was a mistake I let my judgment get clouded. Thank you for granting me access to your mind and for doing the interview. I really appreciate that. Mr. Alexander ." I smiled. I had to set boundaries. 

Kyle looked at me. Those intense eyes of his narrowed. Just stared at me. 

" Mecca. I don't care about the other bullshit okay ? We had a great time, what's the real reason you've been avoiding me hm ? He said lowly. 

I looked him in the eye. 

" Young black woman on the come up from Harlem meets rich, playboy fashion designer.. I don't know I just don't need the world thinking some knight in shining armor came and helped me or I fucked my way to the top. I put in time and effort for this, I didn't grind the way I did back at Spelman just for someone to look at me and say it was because of You" I vented. 

Kyle's eyes were soft.  " Mecca — I, I'm sorry I didn't even think about that. Fuck. I just really like you love. I have a tendency of moving really fast. I apologize sincerely. "

I looked into his eyes.

Fuck it.

                                  ••••••

"Shit, you messing up my hair K."I moaned.  Shameless I was. Here I am butt naked back at his house getting fucked from the back  Kyle had my discombobulated my French roll and was now gripping my hair as he grinds into me 

" this shit is amazing Mecca. I was being nice earlier you keep this away from me next time I'm going to your house. Understand? "

I hated him. Everything about him irritates my fuckin soul. But God the way he was talking sent shockwaves to my core.  He put a leg and and got deeper 

" I said do you understand ?" He barked. 

My response was caught in my throat the only thing I was able to muster up was some incoherent sound. 

" yes baby, fuck I hear you." 

He pulled my head back to give me a sloppy French kiss. " good fuckin girl " he mumbled.

"Ky, I'm about to cum daddy. " I moaned

" hold it, not yet. Fuck this pussy is too good " 

Confidence filled me at that moment 

" careful this good ass pussy will have you acting crazy "

" too late Mecca " he laughed.

I let out a pornographic moan. He was saying all the shit I loved to hear. " mm yea this your pussy now " I whispered. He must have heard me because next thing I knew I was on my back with my legs at my ears.  " keep saying shit like that and I'll nut in you Mecca" Kyle warned.

" then do it baby nut in me " I egged him on

" you so fuckin nasty .." Kyle threw his head back, he pushed my legs further to my head and began to pound mercilessly. 

" what's my fuckin name Mecca, tell them who this good ass pussy belongs to."

“it’s yours daddy, it’s forever yours baby I swear “ I yelped. My eyes began to roll to the back of my head as he thrusted into me deeply.

“ it better be, that’s the shit I like to hear Mec. Tell me you love it here and you’ll never leave again” he spoke into my ear.

I won’t , Kyle..I won’t.” I whispered as I became undone.

At that moment I signed a deal with the devil.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Eyes on the Mirror - part 1

Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Rating: +18, NSFW Words count: 2631 Summary: You're at a turning point in your relationship with Frankie, he tells you that his mother insists on meeting you. Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, reader wears dresses, heels and uses make-up, no other description of her is given, no mention of her skin tone and she doesn't blush, no description of her hair, Frankie can lift her but he’s a hunk of a men you know, mention of food, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, kissing, mention of unprotected p in v, nipples play (f receiving), oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), panties in mouth (don't know how it's called in English, I just know that I like it lol), Frankie is our canon PEK and also the perfect boyfriend okay, mention of being caught (well, to be more specific, to be heard lol), pet names. Let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: This has been a long journey and I think it took me longer than expected. Second part is coming tomorrow. It's an emotional work, it's smut, but it's smut with feelings and I think I put a lot of myself into it. So I ask you to be especially delicate. This Frankie is the same guy from You look like a fun place to sit and Give me more Anyway, let me say a few thanks because I can't believe I had two people volunteer to be my beta, I'm very lucky. Kate @aurorawritestoescape and Ally @arcanefox207 The fact alone that you took some time to read and proofread my stuff is so important to me and you have given me so many helpful suggestions and advice, I am very grateful ❤️ Thank you Odi @joelmillerisapunk , to let me blather, to cheer me up, to always have the right words, I don't know how you do it, you're literally a gem ❤️ We’re going back to the emotional unavailable men agenda asap but for the moment I hope you’ll enjoy my lover boy neighbor!Frankie who is crazy about his girl 🥰  English is not my first language, any mistake is still on me, so if you come across one I’m very sorry. Frankie Masterlist I Masterlist

You and Frankie have been together for four months now, and you’re incredibly happy. Your neighbor, the man you spent a year hating, revealed himself as the best man you’ve ever been in a relationship with. 

You haven't said “I love you” to each other yet, you're taking it slow and you're perfectly fine with that, you know you have strong feelings for him but you don't know if he's ready to say it and the last thing you want is to ruin the best relationship you've had because of words said too soon. 

So you respect his timing without forcing his hand. And still you often think you don't even really need to say it, all you really want is to keep being with him, the man who can make you laugh in a second, with whom you like to do everything from the most mundane things like grocery shopping and running errands, to talking for hours and sharing everything with him, cooking, going to parties and concerts, even bickering. 

And sex. 

Oh, Frankie is a fucking magician. 

The most shockingly fiery and at the same time sweet lover you've ever had. 

You feel you can be yourself at all times with him, he knows your flaws and frailties and accepts them. And from where you were starting out it already feels like a considerable accomplishment. You never thought that the man who used to spend time judging you, once you penetrated his armor, was actually such a tolerant and nonjudgmental person.

You haven't moved in together, but you spend almost every night together, and yet, you are still trying to navigate your relationship without making the other one run off before taking the next step.

So when Frankie tells you that his mother would love to meet you, you get a little scared but you try to put on a good face.

"You really don't mind?" he prods you. 

You can never hide anything from him; Frankie has an ability to read your mind, the talent that you had never found in a man. 

His eyes scan you and he has a cunning little smile as he’s standing on the other side of the table, eating the eggs you prepared for him. 

“Yeah, don't worry, it's okay,” you nod, your movement a little forced, and Frankie notices it. 

“You're nervous, huh? Look it's normal,” he tries to reassure you, his hand slides across the table until it meets yours. 

He squeezes it gently and then intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“I'm sorry, she's been nagging me for at least a month now, I've managed to keep her at bay until now but she grilled me yesterday and told me that she was expecting us for dinner on Friday.”

“Yeah...I just feel a little pressure, you know, but it's okay,” you admit.

“Babe, she will like you very much, I'm sure.”

You look into his eyes, those big eyes the color of coffee and chocolate, and the comfortable glow they give off immediately takes away part of the weight you feel on your chest. 

“Are you sure?” you murmur.

“Of course!” he smiles at you, ”Well, you're a little sassy but...”

You slap his hand “Frankie! You're not helping me!” you complain. 

“Come on, I'm kidding. She’s going to adore you, I have no doubt about it,” he chuckles.

“Mmmm we’ll see” you still mumble with uncertainty.

"Come here," he says softly. 

You get up and walk over to him before he welcomes you on his lap and you wrap your arms around his neck. He rests his forehead on yours looking into your eyes and repeats softly, “she will adore you…not as much as I do but she sure will”

The thing is this with him, he's been circling around that word for weeks, so you're pretty sure he's going to confess sooner or later.

"What if she doesn't like me?" you ask him and bite your lip, looking at him expectantly.

“Uh, I don't want to stop fucking you, you know... so, you'll have to stay in a clandestine relationship while I'm dating a woman, personally chosen by my mom.” 

You kiss him, muttering “god, you're so...” 

He giggles and asks "what am I like?" tightening his grip on your waist a little tighter and pulling you closer to his chest, your tits pressed against him. 

“An incredibly lovely fucking bastard.”

________________________________________

You are in the kitchen preparing dinner, which in your case means putting take-out pizza on plates, as you hear Frankie come in. 

“Hey, are you here?” 

He gave you his keys a few weeks ago to make it easier for you to get around.

“In the kitchen!” you shout to him. 

You hear his footsteps approaching from the hallway until he comes in with a bag. 

“Hey, baby.” 

You walk up to him to give him a kiss, he immediately puts down the bag and hugs you tightly. “mmm I missed you. What's for dinner?” 

“Pizza,” you tell him smiling through your eyelashes and stealing another kiss, his beard tickling your cupid's bow pleasantly “And I was thinking about…uhm…your cock for dessert.”

He squeezes your butt, chuckling, “So eager, huh?”

“For you? Always,” you purr, looking into his eyes, veiled with desire.

His stomach grumbles slightly making you giggle, “Do you want to eat first?” 

“Uh, no,” he whispers, and as he does so he slips two fingers under the straps of your dress and pulls it off, letting it slide to the floor. 

You're in your panties in front of him, no bra, he looks at you spellbound with a smirk that unknowingly puckers his lips, "do you know how beautiful you are?" 

His eyes move from your face down to the crease of your neck, your cleavage, your breasts, your stomach, slowly, as if he is drinking from your body, the source that keeps him alive. 

He takes his time, still hasn't touched you but you'd swear you've never felt more caressed than now, nurtured, sensed, accepted in your body's every disheveled and flawed manifestation.

You could swear you could moan from that alone.

When his hands approach your hips you want them so badly that you instinctively lean into them to meet his palms, the warmth of his skin welcoming you.

You cling to his broad shoulders, bringing his body closer to yours.

He lifts you up as if you weighed nothing and lays you on the kitchen countertop, next to the sink. 

Your legs hang over the edge as he commands, “open wide, baby,” and settles in between, still fully clothed. 

“Frankie, please.” 

“You know what I like?” he asks with a smirk, ”the way you light up as soon as I touch you. God, it drives me crazy the way you instantly become a needy little animal, you know that?" 

You feel your eyes heavy and your voice shaky as you repeat his question, “You know what I like? The way you know exactly what I need.”

He smiles, leaning down to your neck to bite the soft skin over your pulse point and soothing it right after with his warm tongue. 

He lowers himself onto you, leaving a trail of kisses on your beating chest, pausing on your tits and spreading his lips over your nipples, first one and then the other, caressing them with his tongue, swirling it around. You moan with each touch, tilting your head back as he sucks them harder, his beard pinching you gently, his warm lips enveloping them.

You pull his cap off and sink a hand into his dark curls. 

He knows you so well, it is as if he has memorized your every little reaction and in his mind has written himself a manual on how to make you completely lose control. 

He continues to work on your nipples, grazing them with his teeth, licking them up and down with his tongue, sucking them between his lips, hard and covering them with his saliva. His tongue goes around your areola, returning to your little pebble every time you pull his hair a little harder and mewl.

He suddenly leaves your tits and returns to your neck, you groan in disappointment but his tongue immediately soothes you trailing up to your jaw and licking over your lips, inviting them to open for him and dragging you in a sloppy, feral kiss that leaves you breathless.

His hips are rocking into you, brushing over your damp underwear while you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him against your core.

His eyes are dark with lust as he moves one of his hands over your soaked underwear, brushing your folds with his knuckles, “I’m going to make you scream my name so loudly, baby”

“That’s exactly what I want,” you prod him, biting down softly on his lower lip. “Do your magic, Morales.” 

You loosen the grip of your legs, gently pushing his shoulders to invite him to lower himself, and Frankie grumbles jokingly, "bossy". 

He kneels in front of you holding his hands down on your back, just above your butt and pushes you toward him, you falter for a moment balancing on the edge of the counter but his grip is strong and secure.

You run a hand through his curls, tugging slightly.

He licks a strip over your panties, taking the fabric between his teeth, without stopping to look at you. 

A fucking tease. 

He stills for a moment and then kisses your clit. 

Then he moves his flat tongue flat down, almost to your tight hole and then back up, again and again, lingering on your clit with quick flicks of his tongue.

The fabric of your panties is wet with his saliva as a new stream of pleasure floods you, soaking them even more.

“Oh fuck, yes,” you holler.

He looks at you mischievously. “Thinking about it… we should take some measures to make sure you stay quiet, honey, you know?” he nods to the half opened window right behind you. 

You glance back and then blurt out, “oh, whatever, let them hear us.”

Frankie chuckles at your impatience. “Do you really want to put on a show for the whole neighborhood?” 

“There are curtains, they can't see us,” you frown

“But do they need to hear us?” he says as he pulls off your panties, sliding them down your legs.

He sniffs them for a moment- “fucking sweet, darling” - while you wonder what he's going to do, then rolls them and stands back up, sneaking his hand behind your neck and looking at you authoritatively, his lips pursed in a smirk. 

He runs his thumb over your mouth, stops in the center and pushes gently, silently commanding you to open it. The moment your lips part he thrusts your panties into your mouth. “That's it, good girl” he coos.

It’s so wrong, keeping your panties in your mouth like that, your tongue numbed with the taste of it and your body tense under Frankie’s gaze. But also fucking right. 

He graciously holds his power over you, always considerate of your need while he plays with your mind in a delicious nasty way. 

He caresses your cheek, moving down to the column of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it, “Don't try to take them out or you won't get what you want,” he gently orders.  “Can you behave for me?” 

You nod.

He gives you a smirk and gets back on his knees and admires your glistening pussy for a moment. “Always so fucking wet for me,” he whispers before sinking into you again, licking and sucking on your clit and down on your folds, his nose hitting your most sensitive part. 

When you’re basically dripping on your inner thighs, he slides two fingers inside you, so easily moving over the spot he knows makes you see double.

His fingers are inside you up to his knuckles when he curls them, pushing and grasping.

You are thrown into a frenzy almost immediately as he gently hits you with his fingertips again and again, sucking avidly on your clit as you’re stifling your moans by clenching your teeth on your panties.

He laps at your folds so thoroughly, then goes back on your bundle of nerves, sloppy wet noises fill the air mixing with your gasps as he scissors and pushes into you.

He hums against you, whines evenly, you watch him through your eyelashes as he palms himself from above his jeans, seeking some relief.

He doesn’t stop until he feels your legs shake and your stifled mewls trying desperately to get out of your throat. 

Your orgasm crushes over you like a wave, leaving you quivering and breathless.

He gets back up and removes the panties from your mouth, kissing you with his mouth still smeared with your essence. 

 “You’ve been so good, baby.”

You pull him by his shirt protesting, "You haven't got anything yet, though.”

“That’s not a problem, hun, we can eat something and then you’ll eat me. Dessert, remember?” 

You giggle “deal.” 

You steal another kiss from him before slipping your dress back on and setting the table. 

As you eat you notice the bag he left in a corner by the kitchen door.

“What is that?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I almost forgot, it's a gift for you." 

You squint your eyes “For me? You didn't have to!”

Frankie smiles “I saw it in a store and thought of you. Open it.” 

You get up and go for the bag, not before giving him a kiss.

When you open the bag you find a dress. 

Very simple, black, not too low-cut, with a tulip skirt. 

As you're looking at it, leaning it over your body to see the length, Frankie suggests that you could wear it to his mother's. 

____________________________________________

“Are you ready, honey?” 

Frankie's voice is muffled by the bathroom door as you're finishing putting on your lipstick.

“Almost, you just need to help me with the zipper.”

Frankie opens the door and peeps into the bathroom.

He stops behind you, admiring you in the mirror as you stand there with your lips parted, leaning slightly over the sink, your legs slender from your heels, you wear the dress he bought you, unzipped at the back.

“Jesus, you’re a vision,” he breathes. “Maybe we should skip dinner at my mom’s.” 

He approaches you and settles his big hands firmly on your hips. 

“Come on, Frankie, be serious,” you giggle.

“I'm serious,” he replies in a rough, deep voice.

He leans down to leave a trail of kisses down the exposed skin on your back, his soft lips send shivers down your spine and you are almost on the verge of giving in. 

You set your lipstick down on the sink countertop and turn to look at him pouting

"You can't do this to me now, you know we can't skip it.” 

“Well, it might help you relax though,” he continues to flirt, his lips curved into a little smile.

You’d fall for it any other day but not now that you’re trying to figure out how to impress someone you don’t even know. 

Frankie told you something about his mom, how protective she is and overall pretty conservative, you’re the exact opposite. 

You don’t know why he stays so positive about the dinner, you’re pretty sure she will hate you.

One look from you is enough to let him know how nervous you are.

Frankie leaves a light kiss on your shoulders and says. "Okay, I'll behave, turn around." 

He pulls up his zipper looking at you in the mirror, “Anyway, I wasn’t lying, you look really beautiful.” 

You smile softly, feeling your heart fluttering.

general tag list: @baronessvonglitter , @milla-frenchy , @thundermartini , @harriedandharassed , @almostempty let me know if you want to be added or removed and I’ll do it right away. Thank you so much for reading!

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Accident on Set

Plot: During a Buzzfeed interview stories of accidents on set happen to come up.

Word Count: 1.7K

Pairing: Paul Mescal x Reader, Pedro Pascal x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: blood/injury, sweet "father-daughter" moments, laughter giggles, just general fluff

—————

Doing a cute little BuzzFeed interview with Paul and some puppies was fun. The baby pitbulls play around between you, a gray one rests on your lap as you scratch its head, Paul using toys to keep their attention focused.

“Have you ever gotten an injury on set?” the interviewer asks, and Paul hums, letting one of the puppies gnaw at his hand as he plays with it.

“On Gladiator 2 during one of the fight sequences I pulled a muscle in my leg badly and was constantly on icy hots for a week straight, I strained something but it was not fun,” he says rubbing his muscle over his pantleg, “They had to work around shooting other scenes earlier while I was put on bed rest. I felt so bad.”

“I remember that call,” You pull another puppy onto your lap and it joins the sleeping one, “Luckily you had nurse Pedro to help with the healing process.”

Paul laughs, “He was just as banged up with his arm. What do they say misery loves company. And you?”

You give a sheepish look stroking the puppies’ fur, “I got my shit rocked by Giancarlo Esposito.”

The people behind the camera react with gasps and laugh at the normalcy of your words, while Paul looks shocked. “I don’t think I ever told you this, " you say honestly to him.

“I feel like I wouldn’t know if my girlfriend told me about getting assaulted,” he says.

“I wasn’t assaulted it was a complete accident,” you defend yourself and Giancarlo, “So it was during Season Three of Mandalorian in the finale there’s a portion where I’m taunting Moff Gideon and he punches me to shut me up.” you grimace already seeing the gears turn in Paul’s head.

You hear the doors open behind you as Gideon stands before a large hologram map, “Sir, the fighters and bombers have launched,” A commando says, “Their capital ship will soon be destroyed.”

Gideon is silent before speaking up, “But the Mandalorian has escaped.” Your heavy head perks up slightly upon hearing the news. Din had escaped. He was moving through this base. The whirring of Gideon’s armor as the Commando looks at him waiting for orders,

“Shall we engage?” The helmet is put on Gideon and you hear his modulated “No, I'll take care of him myself.” A hoarse chuckle comes fills the room and the commando stiffens Gideon is silent as it starts soft until it’s the only thing he can hear seeing your head shake. You look up at him the blood mouth and chin dried the hollow look in your eyes having a spark of malice.

“You’re dead…he’s gonna kill you.” You rasp a huff of laughter in your tone and you hear the whirring of his armor as it curls into a fist, “You won’t even last a minut-”

What was meant to be a faux punch you hadn’t realized you were too leaned forward until his fist, which was dressed in a decently heavy material that created the ‘beskar’ armor collides against your temple. If the scene was done correctly you would’ve ‘hit’ the ground before they paused to add the effect of a split eyebrow and a quickly growing bruise. What the crew hadn’t expected was the loud cry to come for you and with Tiya chained with her arms behind her back you hit the ground hard.

“Holy Shit!” Giancarlo shouts and it’s utter chaos. You can say you blacked out for just a second when he hit you, immediately feeling the pounding headache. You heard someone shout for a medic someone on the crew undoing the restraints so you could properly lay on your back.

“You’re alright Y/n,” Rick, your director calls out from beside you blinking back tears and seeing this crowd around you, Jon Favreau, Dave Filoni, and Giancarlo who has his helmet off a shellshock look on his face.

“Y/n I’m so sorry.” he pleads and you wave him off.

“It’s fine.” You reassure him though wince as your headache grows worse. The medic finally pulls up and the crew makes space for them to work. It didn’t help that you were already covered in fake blood.

“Y/n I need you to focus and follow this light,” one of them says before a tiny flashlight is shined and you follow his directions as he moves it from side to side.

“Pupil reaction looks good,” he says and you hiss as something is pressed against your brow, “You have a laceration across your brow we’re gonna get you to the hospital.”

It seemed almost unreal hearing laceration and hospital in the same sentence directed at you. It was hard to stop the waterworks, you’ve never been to the hospital before. You were going to be in one all by yourself, your family was across the fucking country and here you were crying getting put on a stretcher. Your assistant has to practically talk you down a panic attack during the ambulance ride to the hospital.

“I think I felt worse ‘cause I forgot I still had Pedro as my emergency contact for when he was on set for filming,” you pick at a hangnail, “I probably gave him a heart attack when he got that phone call.”

And a heart attack you gave him. Your assistant was on the phone with your parents informing them of your injury. Give them constant updates of being admitted, the concussion tests issued, and needing stitches. Then having to speak with your team while getting stitches put in to assure them, no you didn’t want to sue or press charges.

“Like I said for the fifth time Jeanine I don’t want to do anything. It was an accident. I just want to get back to set and finish today,” you say holding your phone on speaker.

“Are you sure you’re alright returning to set?” you hear her ask a bit frustrated but mainly concerned. No manager wants to receive a call that their client had an accident at work and was in the hospital.

“I passed all their tests and they are stitching me up as we speak. I just need to take antibiotics and I’ll be good. I wouldn’t be adamant if I didn’t believe I was truly alright.” you hear her sigh on the other end.

“Alright, I’ll have Cathy come to check on you after you finish filming today,” Jeanine says, “I hope you feel better.” The phone call ends as the doctor finishes with the last stitches. You were grateful for all the work they did, but you felt bad when they quickly rushed you seeing you covered in fake blood believing it was real.

Signing and giving any information needed to the hospital you had your team call head to the set that you would be returning to finish filming the sequence. Giancarlo gave you the biggest hug and apology on the planet with you constantly reassuring him it was an accident.

“If it makes you feel better we don’t need your coverage for that shot,” Rick says, “It’s a good take.” That makes you laugh loudly begging to watch playback to the crew’s horror to watch your accident. The scene was pretty sick and you took that punch like a champ. You all kept up with the rest of the filming schedule with a few scenes needing to get pushed to the next day given your hospital visit. Cleaned up and pampered by the makeup team when cleaning you up being extra wary of the stitches across your browbone. Like your manager said your agent Cathy arrived with a shocking guest.

“Pedro, what the fuck are you doing here?” your question is muffled in his chest as he draws you into a fierce hug before he pulls back. You can see the immediate concern on his face grimacing at the stitches.

“I got a call from a hospital saying you got hurt as your emergency contact, christ kid are you trying to kill me.” he pulls you back into another hug.

“Fuck I’m so sorry I completely forgot to remove you when you left,” you say before immediately pulling back it looked like he threw on the first thing and rushed here, “Did you fly from Calgary!” The wave of guilt crashes over you and he soothes you.

“Kid I’d drop anything to make sure you’re alright. I checked in with your parents before I boarded to tell them I’d make sure you’re alright,” he says resting his hands on your shoulders and rubbing circles to calm you. Your assistant never mentioned Pedro coming over but you were on such an adrenaline high and crash that the hospital seemed like such a blur.

“Now let’s get you home and get you all cozy,” he wraps an arm around your shoulder guiding you to your car, “I’m pulling out all the stops, Tex-Mex, true crime documentaries, and wine.” You and Cathy give him a look at suggesting you drink following your injury.

“The wine’s for me since you’re stressing me the hell out.” he says and you give a slight ‘oh’ as he keeps guiding you.

“Maybe it’s a sign for us to work on this project,” you say out of the blue as you climb into the passenger seat and he starts up the car, “I mean we both have given a blood sacrifice to Star Wars now.”

Pedro lets out a loud laugh at the realization you both have. Yours was a more serious scenario regarding getting injured while back in Season one broke his nose when he walked into a piece of plywood not paying attention.

“So this little scar I got,” you point right above your left browbone and Paul leans in close and hidden beneath the makeup you wear now he can see the shift in slightly raised skin from the scar. “Pedro and I are forever bonded to this show. Funny enough if you watch the finale they ended up using that take.” This makes the crew laugh at the comment. You see Paul’s slightly pouty face poking him until he scrunches it pulling away from your attack.

“I’m fine Paul. I handled it like a champ,” you say brushing fake dirt off your shoulder and he smirks.

“Didn’t you just say you cried the entire way to the hospital?” That only makes the crew laugh louder and you smack his shoulder drawing a chuckle from him.

“Shut up!” The laughter only gets louder before dying down allowing the interview to continue.

[zshiftsrealties]

HOW I APPROACH SHIFTING/MANIFESTING AS A RELIGIOUS PERSON

this post was inspired by @st4rg1rl-1nterlude's blog.

I haven't put any personal information about myself out here yet, so this is going to be the first time I do anything of the like. I am a Muslim, and why I didn't really make a post like this before, is because I didn't find anyone who was also a Muslim and active in this community (or so I thought). only yesterday did I find out that there actually ARE other Muslims out here, and so I thought that maybe, if I share my pov on shifting/manifesting, it could help out someone else too. that's the intention behind this post.

just a quick note before I start, I am absolutely not bashing anyone for what they believe, and how they perceive shifting/manifesting/anything else. this is just my view that I wanted to share with other Muslims. and for people who follow me, and may believe differently than me; this is absolutely a safe place, and I totally respect each of your respective views.

there's going to be religious references (ayahs, etc), so if you're uncomfortable/uninterested, you can stop reading here.

okay now onto the topic.

• how I approach shifting?

as Muslims, we know that our bodies are not ours, and have instead been trusted onto us by Allah. we are the soul, not the body. and the body is only given to us so we can experience the 3D world. right?

that's exactly how I approach shifting too. since I am not the body, but the soul (or pure consciousness), i'm not bound to it. and souls, do not have any identity attached to them. and since we are souls, then — ultimately, everything that is true for the soul is true for us too. meaning we also do not have any identity attached to us. we aren't defined by gender, race or anything as such. we are just energy (soul). that's all. and energy doesn't feel happiness, sadness — any emotion, as humans do. not claiming that souls don't feel anything at all, but they're more at peace — taken separately — as compared to the vessel.

now onto the topic of "shifting is haram", so, personally — no. not to me. "haram" refers to something that will inevitably hurt you, or put you in harm's way (whether physically, or emotionally). that's the only reason why Allah has made many things haram. but shifting is literally just being aware of another you out there. it's like switching from one channel to another. and before you ask "but if we do something that's haram there, will we get sin for it?", so also, no. because in this moment, there are a billion yous in different universes, that are maybe commiting crimes, arson, whatnot. will your scale be filled with all of that? no. your scale is only going to be filled with what you do HERE. in this body. the body that you were first put in. what your soul — which is just you — does here. also your soul doesn't shift, your awareness does. (keep in mind, this is my view, and you're not liable to taking my word for anything).

now,

• how I approach manifesting?

manifesting is much more simpler. it's like making a dua, and knowing you'll get an answer 100% because of who you're asking. it's literally the EXACT same.

the only things you have to be mindful of is your self-concept, and your concept of who Allah is. if you absolutely believe that Allah can do anything for you, but you don't think you deserve it, then you'll probably not get it. why? because ultimately, your view of self will be reflected in your belief in Allah. if you think "I asked Allah for a car, but I don't think I'll get it because I don't deserve it" then even though you did ask, you won't get it, because you think you're not worthy of getting an answer back from Allah.

similarly, if your self-concept is absolutely perfect, but your view of Allah is, "he won't give it to me" or "Muslims don't get what they want in this life" or "everything comes after struggling", then do you see what you're doing here? assuming, and your assumptions always come true. also, your belief in you — or anything for that matter — cannot ever be more than your belief in Allah. so you won't get what you want, again.

why? see this.

"Allah the Exalted said, `I am as My servant thinks of Me.'" — Hadith 15, 40 Hadith Qudsi.

how you view Allah is exactly how you'll see Him be with you. so only think good of Allah, that is exactly what He is worthy of.

"Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship," — Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 185.

so, when Allah intends ease for you, you don't have to struggle to finally have what you want. Allah doesn't take any enjoyment in making you wait. He does not. so when making dua/manifesting, think beforehand about your view of your Creator.

you're not selfish for wanting the world and the akhirah. you can have both. your Lord will give you both. so, in your relation with your Lord, keep a good view on both you and Allah. that's how everything will work out.

and I know there are many posts and views that state that "you are the creator" or "you are the God" and "there's no higher being", and honestly, that's just their view, and it's valid, for them.

but for us, Muslims (or anyone who believes in God), we know that God takes care of everything 24/7.

"Not a leaf falls but that He knows it” — Surah Al-An'am, verse 59.

so, if even something so mundane is controlled by Him, it's almost absurd to read the notion that "we are the creator", much less believe it, right? and you don't have to. because you know your Creator will never ever leave you without giving you something that He has set your heart upon. so you don't have to control anything in the first place. just say what you want, tell Him and believe you'll get it, and without a doubt, you will.

incase that I skipped over anything, or if you have any questions, anything — feel free to ask.

[admirationandromantics]

A Little Tipsy

Ugh, I can't contain myself. I loved writing this. Gaming turning to sex? Fucking hell, that's what I live for (ps, also see my fic named "Video Games...", and you'll understand)

Word count: 2,9k (Unedited)

thinking about tipsy chris losing all his nerves and being really straightforward and flirty with reader when she invites him over for drinks and gaming.. jesus.. christ.. the sex would be INSANE -@nerd-space

I put the wine in the fridge, hoping that it’ll turn cold before Chris arrives. It is our weekly game night, but this time, we were bringing alcohol into the equation. I’ve had a long week, and Chris had no protests, so I went out and got some. Not only wine, but a couple of beers and the star of all, vodka. It’s disgusting, but at least it’ll make me relax. 

I figured out that since we would be drinking, an online game is not the best. My progress and rank can be harmed, so therefore we would be playing a series of nintendo games. I have it all set up, mario kart, party, even the bros games. So the get together was still going to be a gaming night. 

A loud knock on the door pulls my attention away from the popcorn. Instead of leaving it in the microwave and opening the door for him, I simply shout. 

“It’s open, just walk straight inside”

The door opens, a pair of heavy footsteps coming inside, the howling of the wind sounding through the space, an ice cold breeze brushing against my face. It really is cold outside today. 

“You know, you’ve been here so many times that knocking seems a bit too formal” I comment, taking out the popcorn and pouring it in a bowl. 

“Just trying to be a gentleman” Chris says, walking into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He’s wearing an oversized hoodie, a nerdy print on the front. I don’t know what game it’s from, but it seems old. 

“If you were a gentleman, you would have come picked me up and drove me to you place” 

“Hm, so I guess I’m not” 

“Not really” I laugh, giving him the bowl. Instead of taking it, he grabs a big handful of the content, stuffing his mouth. 

“And that” I point at him. “Is another reason you’re not a gentleman” 

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. Here, let me take the bowl” He states, walking by my side, mouth still full. His hand is reached out, but I hold the item away from him, making sure he can’t reach it. 

“You lost your chance at chivalry, Hartley” I joke, walking even faster to make him catch up. He doesn’t do much, swallowing and letting out a small laugh. 

“Well, okay then. Have you prepared the switch?” 

“You mean me? Don’t you think asking me that is a bit direct?” 

His cheeks flush a light pink, eyes diverting my gaze just for a moment. I love teasing him like this, he always gets so embarrassed, and cannot handle it. I give him a small nudge with my hand, getting him back to reality. 

“I’m messing with you, of course I have” 

“Y-yeah, that’s good” 

We continue the evening, getting a couple of glasses of wine down before starting to feel the effects. My cheeks are red, but the alcohol is the imposter in that area. Mostly. His thigh continuously keeps pressing against mine, his body swaying to direct the race car on screen. He wins again, and again, and again. It’s almost boring playing with him, always winning these types of games. 

“Who even sweat-games Mario Kart? That’s a bit much don’t you think?” I punch his arm, unaware if I do it too hard. He doesn’t seem bothered by it, just laughing and finishing the race once again. I keep going, the speed unbelievable. Gosh, it’s embarrassing how bad I turn when tipsy. 

“Here, let me help you” He states, scooting up halfway behind me, hands going around my body. 

“You don’t think I’m gonna make it?” I say, sighing loudly. 

“Absolutely not” 

“I’m just one lap behind the others, it’s not that bad considering we’re on the hardest difficulty” I lean back against him, letting his hands go over mine on the controller. 

“Speaking of laps” He says, and before I can comprehend what’s happening, his arms grab my hips, pulling me upon him, arms going around me once again. I don’t think my face can turn redder than it already is, and my mind is fighting my body from starting to grind on him, old fantasies roaming through me. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice, eyes on the screen as he presses my fingers down on several buttons, occasionally leaning a bit to the side, which makes me stop several sounds from escaping my throat. 

“And, there!” he exclaims, and I reach the finish line, not last at least. He grabs my hips again, lifting me up and down beside him. I almost whine from the lack of him, almost. 

“I guess I’m not the best at Mario Kart in my state” I laugh, leaving the controller on my side and leaning back on the couch. He watches me intently, eyes going over my body. I take a stretch, shifting my gaze away. He lifts one of his legs up, resting the ankle on his other knee, completely spread out. Fucking hell, he’s hot. 

“Okay, so do you want to play something else?” he asks, a small smirk on his lips. I turn to him again, the arms of his hoodie dragged up, making his muscular lower arms visible, veins showing. I follow them, reaching all the way down to his hands, his long fingers which just a minute ago were on mine, putting pressure down and guiding me. 

“You know, if you’re just gonna stare, we might sit like this all night” 

I look up, mouth a bit open, trying to find a comeback. He caught me. Fucking hell. I’m usually the one who makes fun of him, and now, my head won’t let me fight back. My mouth keeps opening as if to say something, but ultimately fails me, nothing coming to mind. 

“And that mouth might be put to better use than just opening and closing like that” he smirks, before turning his attention back to the game, starting another round. I watch him in silence, taking a deep, quiet breath, composing myself a little. Who was this, and where is Chris? I’ve met him drunk before at parties, but his goody comments and funny nature is usually what’s shining. Now, he’s so forward, even more than I am at times. 

I shift back to the game, thighs rubbing hard against each other, making it difficult to find a comfortable position. The game starts, and I try to keep my attention on it, but my gaze continuously goes back to him, watching as he calmly relaxes. His back against the couch, fingers moving fastly unbothered. 

“You’re going the wrong way” he whispers, nudging my thighs. I gasp, so weakly I pray he didn’t hear it. Or if he did, he hopefully thought it was a surprise because of my bad driving skills. 

“You’re usually much better than this” he comments, and I nod in agreement. Maybe alcohol just makes me way more horny and turned on than usual? Especially when he sits like that, nonchalant and confident. A way I’ve never noticed before. The game pauses, and I look over at him, a bit confused. 

“What, I was doing better” 

“No, you weren’t” 

I sigh, throwing my head back in defeat. This was not a usual gaming night where I won at least thirty percent of the races. Now, even the bots are better than me. 

“Hey, lesson, come here” his fingers guide me, and I scoot over, sitting tightly beside him. 

“No, not like that” he shakes his head, grabbing my thighs once again, lifting me on his lap and letting me straddle him. I bite my lips, unsure what he’s about to do. Oh gosh. His belt buckle is perfectly placed underneath me, and I have to fight my instinct to move. This is torture. 

“No need to get so flustered, I have seen you worse” he smiles, disconnecting his own controller, and fastening mine on my wrist. 

“Wait what?” I ask, wondering what he means. He’s seen me worse? 

“Yeah, you know, when I walked in on you” he says, casually as if that’s something to be expected. I shake my head, wondering what he means. 

“When was this?” 

“When you got yourself off in the shower” he says, clicking a few buttons. Does he not understand the gravity of his words? What has he heard? Or seen? Every single time I do that, I think of him, so what if he’s heard. 

“Wait, Chris, I can explain” I try, but he interrupts me. 

“No, no. I didn’t know you were in there, my fault for coming in. You screamed my name so loud I took the hint to go” 

“No, I just mean, you weren’t meant to hear that, I’m sorry, I understand if you find it weird and just want to go and stuff…” 

He looks back to me, confused eyes and furrowed brows, as if trying to figure out something. I look pleadingly back, please don’t let this ruin our relationship. A few seconds go by, painfully slow as he realisation washes over him. I get a bit confused, not understanding what’s so difficult to understand. 

“Wait, you didn’t know I was in there?” he asks, voice low and tone serious. His mouth is a bit open, his chest falling quicker up and down under my hands than before. 

“No, but-” I start, but then it hits me. He thought I screamed his name because he walked in, not realising it was because I was thinking of him. And now…

“And you screamed my name not because I was in there but because you were-”

“No, no, no, no, no” I shake my head. I’ve buried myself, I never meant for him to find out, I should’ve just shut my mouth before, listening before drawing conclusions. Shit, shit, shit. I’m about to get off him, but his grip tightens on my thighs, pressing me further down on his buckle, causing a small moan to escape my lips. 

“Fucking hell. You were pleasuring yourself by the thought of me” he says, more of a conclusion than a question. I can’t even look at him. Mouth wide open trying to conjure anything in my defence, but alas, my words fail me. 

“Have you been doing that every time before these types of nights? Before we meet?” 

I don’t know what to answer, a small “uh” leaving my lips. The corner of his lips slowly drags upwards, a small chuckle coming from deep within. 

“L-listen, Chris” 

“No, you listen here” he counters, dragging me down and closer to him, the buckle giving that extra bit of friction to me. I give a small hum, which makes him look down for a split second, wondering what the fuss is about. His eyes find mine again, mouth opening, biting his lip with his head tilting. 

“Okay, wait a second now” he smirks, finally understanding. 

“So, you’ve been struggling with yourself since we began? All those small movements that I only figured was because you were sitting uncomfortably…” 

“Chris-”

“No, no, no”

My breathing gets heavier, struggling to contain myself as his hands grip harder, starting to slowly make me grind on him. The extreme friction, after being left unnoticed all night, all these balled up feelings, emotions all over the place. Confusion, heat, desire, and passion. Everything comes up at once as I tightly grab his shoulders for support, much-needing pleasure shooting through me. 

“Chris!” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s it” he whispers, one hand coming up behind my neck and pulling me closer. I can’t help it, the urge, the need, the craving. I want him badly, and this confident person I’m sitting on, is making it much more difficult to keep myself in control. I meet his lips with mine, moaning into the kiss as he keeps up the rhythm underneath us. His teeth capture my lower lip, biting down until a whimper escapes me, making him smirk even more. 

He changes our position, working on the controller in my hand, letting loose the ribbon around my wrist. I’m about to take hold of him when both my hands are grabbed with one of his. My wrists against each other as he lifts them over my head, laying me down horizontally on the couch, body towering over me. 

His other hand goes to the hem of my sweatpants, feeling around the area before moving underneath. I gasp at the sensation, his fingers warm as they trace the hem of my underwear. 

“All the time when you wear this type of clothing… I always wonder how easy they can come off” he whispers, breath hot against my ear. Lips go to kiss down under it, moving to my neck, leaving painful suck marks all over. 

“C-Chris” I whimper, his name coming out as more of a pleading. 

“Mhm, yeah. You want me so bad, don’t you?” 

I hum in response, nodding my head weakly as his fingers go down to my folds, feeling the soaked fabric. My hips buckle up, needly craving his touch. The action makes him let out a small laugh. 

“And for so long too” 

“W-When did you turn so cocky?” I ask, finally managing to conjure something else than mere sounds. 

“What, you’ve never noticed before?” 

“No” 

“Well, then you’re in for an experience” 

He moves the fabric to the side, fingers coated by my wetness, moving slowly up and down. A melody of sounds escape me, back curling as he reaches my clit, fingertips moving teasingly. 

“So incredibly needy. I should’ve just joined you in the shower when I heard you screaming my name” 

“Chris…”

“Now let us see if I can make you scream it even louder” 

His fingers go to my entrance, pushing two of them in, knuckle deep, testing how much I can take. I give a loud moan, and he captures my lips in his again, swallowing every single sound I make. His hips lowers down on me, letting me feel his hard boner underneath his pants. 

Fingers start pumping, all while I try to break my hands free from his grasp, wanting to touch him. He goes almost all out before slamming them back in, his thumb rubbing my clit softly at the same time. His lips leave mine, going to my jaw and neck, kissing and biting. My pulse skyrocketing, all my oxygen going straight to the wave of sounds coming from my mouth as he keeps going. My core starts building up, tension collecting as I ride his fingers, feeling his hair on my chin as his lips move down to my collar. 

“Chris!” 

“And no bra? You really wanted this to happen” he whispers, making shivers run down my spine. He caresses me with his mouth, my clothing so thin he can feel my nipples harden underneath him. I can’t muster words as he keeps up his pace, legs giving out and all my energy going to my hands, wanting to touch him again. 

He takes me over the edge, moaning loudly as pleasure runs through my body, letting me ride out the high on his fingers before pulling them out. I breathe out heavily, trying to steady myself as his head comes up to mine again, making me watch as his hands go into his mouth, sucking his fingers dry. 

“Now, how about we go to the bedroom?” 

***

I wake up, not having a hangover. We didn’t drink much after all, none of us being drunk, just tipsy. It flusters me how he acted last night, his cocky self being something I’ve never noticed before. I turn to him, naked beside me, chest going up and down in a steady rhythm. My hand carefully makes its way to his messy hair, fingers combing through it. His own goes to grab my wrist, giving me flashbacks to last night’s activities. He drags me over to him, capturing my naked body in his arms. 

“Are you staring at me while I’m sleeping?” he whispers, voice hoarse and sexy. 

“Well, you don’t seem to be sleeping” I tease, leaning into him. 

“Fucking hell, that was a long night” 

“You don’t say. I’ve never seen you so cocky before” 

“Cocky, or confident” he tries to defend, and I roll my eyes and lean over to grab my phone, showing him a couple of messages from Josh. 

Josh: Yeah, he gets like that. Careful though, he might be cocky as shit, but he’s also too honest for his own good, so I at least hope you got fucked good

“Wait what! You told him we fucked?” he asks, eyes widening and body suddenly completely awake. I laugh, giving him the phone and letting him see the previous messages. 

“No, he figured that out himself. I just had to check if you behaved like this every time you drank, and if this was a one-time-thing” 

“Judging by how often you’ve screamed my name the last 12 hours, I don’t think you want it to be that” 

“And judging by what you said last night, I think you’ve been thinking about this way more than I have” I shoot back while he keeps laughing. He throws the phone away, capturing my lips once again. 

“You know, about that shower…”

[winchesterwild78]

Unspoken Words pt 7

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, other characters

Warnings: fluff, a little angst, David’s court date, more fluff

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but he’s such an amazing kid. 

*One more chapter after this. Features a time jump or two. *

This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story. 

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated. 

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 3 months*

After coming back from California  I decided to move Lily and I in with Jensen. He was excited I agreed to it. Living with him in California felt perfect, like we were exactly where we were meant to be. 

Lily began talking more, and Jensen insisted on paying for a private speech therapist. I told him I was fine with the one she had been going to, but he wanted the best for her. 

I quickly realized it was pointless to argue with him about her wellbeing. He stepped into the role of dad without missing a beat. We were a united front when it came to Lily, but he also used his status and money to help fill in gaps. 

*Flash Back to the month after we left*

We flew back for the court date for David’s attempted kidnapping. Sarah watched Lily so Jensen and I could go. He was found guilty and sentenced to jail time. There was also a lifetime protective order put in place that prevented him from any contact with Lily, myself or Jensen. 

When we came home for the court date I was sick for days. Chalking it up to nerves, I did my best to ignore it. After a few days and heading back to California Jensen started to get more concerned.

“Baby, you’ve been sick since before we went to court. Maybe you should go to the doctor.” He was right, I knew he was. I was just being stubborn. 

“I can’t just drop what I’m doing and go to the doctor for a little bug. It’ll pass. It always does.”

Jensen just looked at me, “Baby, please. I’m worried about you. I’ll keep Lily and you go see Dr. Pickard. Please.” I sighed, “Okay. I’ll make an appointment.” 

The next day I was sitting in the doctor’s office. I checked in and sat in the lobby. A young woman was sitting to the left of me and kept looking at me. I just wanted to get in and out without issues or being recognized. 

The young woman leaned forward. I knew what was coming. “Excuse me, ma’am?” I turned and smiled, “Yes?” “I’m sorry to bother you, but are you dating Jensen Ackles?” I nodded, “Yes I am.” She grinned, “I thought that was you. It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Mary. Are you two getting married?” “It’s nice to meet you too, Mary, and I don’t know. He hasn’t asked, so I’m going to say no. Not right now.” “Oh, okay. Well maybe he will soon.” I smiled as my name was called, “Maybe. We haven’t been dating long, so we have time. You have a great day, Mary.” 

I walked to the back with the nurse and explained why I was there. She told me the doctor would be in soon and would let me know if any tests would be needed. I nodded and she left. 

Sitting in the room I felt really dizzy and sick. Dr Pickard came in and noticed I was sweating and was pale. “Ms Y/L/N, are you okay?” “No, I feel really dizzy and sick to my stomach.” 

She checked me over and asked some questions. “Okay, let me run some tests. The nurse will be in soon and take some blood, do some swabs for the flu and other illnesses, and we need to check for pregnancy.” 

I chuckled, “Wow, just checking everything, huh?” Dr Pickard looked at me, “Just trying to be thorough.” She left the room and the nurse came back in a few minutes later. They took my blood, she swabbed my nose and throat and had me pee in a cup. 

“I’m gonna run all this to the lab, we should have the results for everything except the blood work before you leave today. The doctor will be back shortly.” I nodded and thanked her. I pulled out my phone and sent Jensen a text. 

Me: I’ve been poked, prodded and swabbed. Waiting on some of the results. I’m being checked for flu or other things. I’ll keep you updated. How are you and Lily?

Jensen: Okay, hopefully they figure it out soon. I’m really worried about you, and we are fine. *1 image sent*

Jensen sent a picture of him with a princess tiara on and Lily in her princess dress. I laughed.

Me: aww look at the pretty princesses. I love you two

Jensen: We love you too, mommy. Come home soon.

Me: I will. TTYS

After about twenty minutes Dr Pickard came back in. “Well, Ms Y/L/N, you don’t have the flu or strep, your iron is a bit low and you're a little dehydrated, and you’re pregnant.” 

“I’m sorry, what? I’m pregnant? How did that happen?” She chuckled, “Um, I’m assuming you and your partner had sex. Maybe unprotected?” I sat thinking, no, Jensen and I were always so… “Oh, yeah. That one time over a month ago.” She chuckled, “That’s all it takes. So I’m prescribing some prenatal vitamins and I want you to schedule an appointment to get the baby checked.” 

“Okay. Thank you for everything.” My heart beat fast in my chest. I was pregnant. Jensen was the father. Would he be okay with this? We never really talked about children. How would Lily handle this?

My head was spinning by the time I got home. Jensen greeted me at the door with a hug and a smile. He saw the bag from the pharmacy and smiled. “So I see you have some medicine. I’m assuming the doctor found something?” 

I took a deep breath, “Yeah she did. Jensen, we need to talk.” He sat down beside me and took my hands in his, “Okay baby. Is everything okay?” 

With a shaky breath I looked at him, “Jensen, I’m okay. She didn’t find anything devastating, but what she did find is going to change our lives.” 

Jensen looked at me, eyes so full of love, “Okay, now you’re scaring me. Y/N, please just tell me.” 

Tears pricked my eyes, I was so scared. “Jensen, I’m pregnant.” He softly gasped. Silence filled the room and I didn’t know what to say or do. 

The longer the silence stretched on, the more anxious I got. I swallowed hard, and the tears started to fall.

“Jensen, please say something.” His voice barely above a whisper, “You’re pregnant?” I nodded. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get pregnant. I know this isn’t something we talked about and I understand if you’re not ready. Lily and I can stay at our place and I won’t keep the baby from you if that’s what you want. I think Lily and I should go home. I’m so sorry Jensen.” 

I stood up quickly and walked towards the bedroom. The tears fell fast as I felt the bile rise in my throat. I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my suitcase. Jensen was hot on my heels. He grabbed my hand and spun me around. His lips crashed on mine in a heated kiss. 

I was shocked. When he pulled back he was smiling. “You’re pregnant. We’re having a baby!.” “Jensen, you’re not mad?” “What?! Why would I be mad? The love of my life is pregnant with our baby. Lily’s going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh sweetheart, please don’t leave. I want to be with you every step of the way.” 

I cried harder. I wasn’t expecting his reaction. He pulled me in his arms, “Shh baby. Don’t cry, please. I love you and I can’t wait to have this baby with you. I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but I promise I’m not going anywhere. You, Lily and this baby have me forever.” He wiped my tears away and placed a soft kiss on my lips. 

His hand rested on my stomach and he smiled. “I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.” I took a shaky breath in and out, letting go of all the anxiety I was feeling. 

*Current Time*

I was heading to my doctor's appointment to check on the baby and Jensen was going with me. We had been back home in Texas for about a month and Lily and I were adjusting to living with Jensen. 

I was worried she would have a hard time adjusting to the new house, but she loved it. Jensen made sure he put a gate around the pool, and a safety cover on the pool just in case. He also had her a swing set built in the backyard. They both spent a lot of time outside in the backyard playing. I couldn’t wait for the baby to be old enough to play with Lily and Jensen. 

I stood at the full-length mirror in our bedroom and placed a hand on my belly. I was just starting to show more and I knew we couldn’t hide the pregnancy much longer. My biggest worry was telling Lily. I wasn’t sure how she’d react. 

Sarah and Steve knew I was pregnant. They were excited for us. The two of them were coming over to watch Lily while Jensen and I went to the doctor. 

I was too busy looking at my growing bump to notice Jensen standing at the door. He leaned against the doorframe and watched me with a smile on his face. 

He walked up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my belly. He kissed my cheek, “How’s my babies today?” I smiled and leaned into him, “We’re okay. I’m hungry, but what else is new.” He laughed, “We’ll get you a snack before we head out. What do you want?” 

“Hmm, pickles, peanut butter and apples sound delicious.” He chuckled, “Okay. I’ll get it and you finish getting ready.” I kissed his lips, “Thanks baby.” He nodded and smiled.

Lily knew something was different, but we hadn’t told her yet I was pregnant. We wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby before we told her. The appointment today was going to include an ultrasound and measurement of the baby. I was about 3 months pregnant and so far the pregnancy was going well. 

Jensen was by my side through it all. He was in between filming schedules at the moment, so he was home. I knew he was leaving in about 3 weeks to head to Toronto for filming. We weren’t sure if Lily and I were going or staying home, honestly it depends on what the doctor told us. 

Sarah and Steve arrived to watch Lily and Jensen and I were about to leave to go to the appointment. I was nervous but excited. This would be the first ultrasound and I was happy Jensen was going to be there for it. 

Sarah gave me a hug and told me she couldn’t wait to see the baby when we got back. Lily looked at me and Sarah and whispered, “baby?”

I looked at Sarah and she mouthed, “sorry”. I just nodded. 

I took a deep breath and sat Lily down. Jensen sat beside her. “Lily, sweetheart. Mommy and Jensen have something we want to tell you. You know how mommy has been sick and going to the doctor a lot? Well, mommy has a baby in her tummy. You’re going to be a big sister.” 

Lily sat beside Jensen and I very still. She looked up at me, then down to my stomach, then up at Jensen. Tears filled her little eyes and she started to cry. I pulled her on my lap but she wiggled free and went to her room. 

I started to follow her, but Sarah told me she’d go so we weren’t late. I wanted to go and see her, but I had to get to the appointment too. 

“Y/N, honey. I’ll take care of her. You go check on the little bean.” I nodded and Jensen and I left. 

The ride to the doctor’s office was quiet. I was worried about Lily and felt a pang of guilt for leaving like I did. Jensen sensed my uneasiness and took my hand in his. 

“Hey, she’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath.” “I know Jensen, she was just so upset and I left. What kind of mother does that?”

“Y/N, don’t do that. You’re an amazing mother. Lily is safe with Sarah, and we had to get to this appointment. I know you’re upset, but she’s going to be okay, I promise.”

I nodded and wiped the tears that started to fall away. We arrived at the doctor’s office and got checked in. 

The nurse checked my vitals and everything she needed to do. She asked how I’d been and told me the doctor would be in soon. Jensen stood beside the exam table and held my hand. 

The doctor came in, did their exam and got me ready for the ultrasound.

I was so excited and nervous to see the baby. She put the gel on my belly and commented that she was surprised I was showing as much as I was. I thought it was an odd statement to make, but brushed it off as my eyes were glued to the monitor. 

The doctor had a puzzled look on their face and kept looking at the monitor with an unreadable look on their face. I started to get nervous. “Hmm, that’s interesting.” 

I looked at her and then at Jensen. He saw my distress, “What’s interesting?” He asked her. “One second, let me just check one more thing. Hmm, yep. Okay.” 

Jensen looked at the screen, at her and then at me, “Is everything okay with the baby?” I started to panic a little because I wasn’t hearing a heartbeat. “Why don’t I hear a heartbeat?! Jensen, what’s wrong with the baby?!”

The doctor turned to us and offered a soft smile. I felt the bile rising in my throat. She flipped a switch on the machine and I heard the heartbeat. I let out the breath I was holding. 

“Everything looks great. The heartbeats are strong and it looks like growth is on target. You both can relax. It looks like both of them are perfectly healthy.” 

Jensen leaned down and kissed me and I turned back to the doctor to thank her, then it hit both of us. “Wait, what?! Heartbeats? Both?” She chuckled, “Congratulations, you’re having twins, and from the looks of it they are fraternal.” 

Jensen chuckled, “Wow, we’re adding two babies to the family.” He kissed me again. I was filled with joy and then a wave of anxiety hit me. I was worried how Lily would handle the news of twins. 

The doctor gave us pictures and we made our next appointment. I couldn’t take my eyes off the pictures. I clearly saw two babies in the pictures. 

On the way home my hand rested on my stomach as my mind drifted to what life would be like with three children. 

“Whatcha thinking about darlin’?” Jensen asked, breaking the silence in the car. “Just the babies and Lily. I don’t know how she’s going to feel about two babies. I’m just worried about her.” 

He took my hand, “Hey, I get it. It might be hard for her at first, but she’s going to be a great big sister. When Mackenzie was born I wasn’t thrilled at first, but after a bit I loved her and protected her. Lily is going to be the same way.” “I hope so.”

When we got home We shared the news with Sarah and Steve and they both were excited. I asked Sarah where Lily was and she said in her room. “I talked to her, but I don’t know if it did any good. I’m sorry Y/N.” 

I touched her arm, “No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. We will talk to her. Thank you both for watching her.” 

Sarah nodded, hugged me goodbye and she and Steve left. I walked to Lily’s bedroom door and found her sitting on her bed holding her squirrel stuffy. 

I walked in and sat on the bed, “Lily, honey, we’re home. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She turned her back to me. It broke my heart. I touched her arm, “Baby, look at mommy, please.” 

She turned away and grunted at me. Jensen walked in and saw it. He walked up to me, touched my shoulder and motioned for me to come on. I looked at Lily and then back at him. I got up and left her room.

I started crying, “She’s so mad at me, Jensen. What am I going to do?” He pulled me in his arms and held me, “Hey, it’s okay. You get a snack and rest, I’ll talk to her.” I nodded and walked downstairs.

Jensen walked in her room and sat on the bed, “Hey baby girl. Will you look at me?” She turned further away. He put his hand on her shoulder, “Hey, Lily girl. Please look at me.” 

She slowly rolled over and looked at him. Her big beautiful eyes red from crying. “No love Lily.” Jensen’s heart broke. He immediately pulled her in his lap and held her tight, “Oh sweet girl, no. Just because mommy is having a baby doesn’t mean we don’t love you anymore. We will always love our Lily girl. You’re our first baby, our first princess. We love you and love the new baby too. Just like you can love mommy and love me.” 

She looked up at him and he wiped her tears away. “Love Lily?” “Of course we do. Forever and always. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She cautiously nodded. Jensen pulled out the ultrasound picture he had and showed Lily. “So, Lily, mommy has two babies in her belly. We don’t know if they are boys or girls, but there are two of them.” She smiled and held the picture looking it over. “Babies?” Jensen chuckled, “Yes, babies.” 

She climbed out of his lap and ran to her closet. When she came back over she had a duck toy and handed it to Jensen, “For baby.” Jensen smiled and kissed the top of her head, “Come on sweet girl, let’s give it to mommy.” 

Jensen carried Lily downstairs and to me. She hugged me and handed me the duck. I was a little confused. “She said it’s for the babies.” I smiled and nodded. 

Lily sat beside me and looked at my belly. “Babies?” I placed my hand on my stomach, “Yes, mommy has two babies in her belly.” Lily looked at Jensen and then back at me. She slid closer to me, placed her hand softly on my stomach and then leaned down and kissed my belly. 

My breath hitched and I looked at Jensen. He smiled and said, “See I told you, best big sister ever.” 

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