#or i guess i should say: you can't change the past and the future depends on the present | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sharonisthebettercarter · 1 year ago

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Billy and fucklander had opportunities to change and didn't take them. Ryan will have an opportunity to change and will try to change... only for his deadbeat dad and/or billy to take it from him because billy is at a point of no return and deadbeat is a life ruiner. Will any of this excuse some of Ryan's future involvement/behaviors? No... But it makes him more sympathetic than spermdonor and Billy combined.

goddammit anon. you're killin' me here. seen a couple of these answered by other folks in fandom so i'm guessing you have your thoughts written somewhere and then copy/paste them into people's inboxes?

i mean, i get the havin' thoughts lmao (i do~<3!!) but if you have so much to say/rant on and want specific people to respond, why not make your own posts and tag people about it? don't get me wrong, i don't mind answerin' a ramble or two here and there but sometimes it gets a lil excessive. 6 asks in one go is a lot, *especially* when the topics are *stressful* instead of *fun*.

scratch that, getting *ONE* of these asks can be a lot.

*SIX (6)* at one time is too fucking many, i can be overwhelmed too. i'm not just a place for you to dump these and expect a response, i'm a fucking living breathing entity behind this screen (who instead of being friendly, *can* delete and ignore them, need i remind)

do not abuse my kindness or patience, do not mistake either for weakness.

i'ma need a LONG ass break after this. leik. 666 months long cause holy fuck. gotdamn. gimme a breather. also still queuing shit so asking more shit and or bombarding me with asks *isn't* gonna make it come any faster.

it comes when it comes, i put it in the queue and shuffle.

you know the drill, you don't get 6 separate answers, i'm condensing into one and usin' italics and bold for the asks

anywho~ not true.

yes for billy, he is aware of his actions, his plight, and knows better, but he chooses to do worse. (altho i do recognize first hand how difficult addictions are to deal with, and billy is absolutely an addict.)

literally no for homelander. people who are victims of grooming like homie are kept in a state of childlike dependency/belief so that they *can't* leave their abuser, have no choice or 'oPpOrTuNiTy' to leave them, *OR* will only go from one abuser to the next because they've been *conditioned* to expect the abuse.

i feel like you keep saying that but i'ma be point blank this time. it's ableist, victim blaming, and completely undermines the situation homelander went through/is still going through. repeating it won't make it true, it's wrong, always was and will remain wrong. all you're doing is ignoring what his actual situation is and what has actually happened to make yourself feel better about hating him.

and that's not even to say you can't hate him or that his actions should be excused. literally no one is saying that and i don't think i've ever seen anyone actually say that unironically (not saying it can't happen but i'm guessing it's pretty rare to come across (at least outside of the maga chuds) since most people just hate him) but you should at least be fucking honest/aware about his situation/*NOT DISMISSIVE*.

i'm including another post i added resources to that debunk this gross (and very ignorant) claim. please give legitimate psychology the time of day before you go around repeating ableist/victim blaming talking points.

*even billy* to certain degrees, should get his addiction acknowledged, instead of denied or *enabled*, because addiction in *all forms* is a debilitating, life destroying THING that is fucking difficult to fight. it's like it's own form of battle with an abuser, except the only other person is *you*. becca alone should be example enough that empathy and compassion can *help* in ways people downright *refuse* to give the time of day (even if i do lament billy using her like his 'new' addiction... the cunt--)

seriously. i'm not kidding, take the time to educate yourself instead of just being angry (at fiction i might add) all the time. that stress can't be good for you, *anger is proven to make people dumber*, and otherwise the only response you'll get from me is going to be, 'actually you're wrong, here's why--*linked resources*'.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

you repeat ableism and victim blaming? i'm going to call you out on it (if i don't just delete it, bitch i am TIRED--), you will not get a different response from me, i will always try to correct misinformation or disinformation when i can, however that may come.

*you* have a choice, but you keep *choosing* to ignore the resources i provide because they make you confront your own biases, but i ain't playin' on these subjects.

that is a no go in this court.

ryan will need someone to show him he has a choice and that he is worthy of love no matter where he goes or who he's with. again, this goes back to psychology but ryan is still only a child. his brain is literally not developed enough to make these decisions himself/be immune to influence (which just realistically, absolutely no one is regardless of age)

i feel for ryan, i *worry and hope* for him far more, but the trauma faced here is not a contest. please do not do that, that is super fucked. and even if it were--

homelander. homelander would win and take all the fuckin' prizes, there is literally *no one* in this series that has had shit worse than him (he was literally fucking tortured from the second he was created and then fucking groomed leik wut the fuck--)

honestly, it's kind of a fuckin' miracle he didn't turn out *worse*.

*and even then*, what homelander faced would be neither excuse nor reason to dismiss any of the trauma any of the characters have faced, even and especially as a result of him, and vice versa. sympathy overall is subjective. people generally sympathize most with characters they personally relate to.

i tend to sympathize most with the characters who have been through/currently going through the worst of it. (and obviously all the trauma is valid, but my brain tends to prioritize people in immediate crisis dependent on the crisis, which honestly i do feel we should normalize and apply on a global scale just for humanity's sake but i digress, generally this means it depends on the story and where it is in a given moment. but it doesn't mean my sympathy for the other characters has gone away.)

*you* *sypmathize* most with *ryan*, and i get that. that's valid, but it's also personal and subjective, not objective here. it's also subject to change depending on how ryan turns out i'm guessing...

but you're equating people with their actions when--those are two *separate* things.

UGH okay next ask--

That Billy and starlight getting along scene was rushed, like.....there was no build-up to it nor was is a slow burn. Also, starlight and Billy should've started throwing hands at each other or at least curse each other out. Truce my ass, people who hate each other in real life, do not get along all of a sudden, especially if someone they care about is hospitalized. Also, starlight should've chose violence when she and bitchy butcher met a 2nd time. If I saw the person who needlessly, shot my ass again, I would've started to curse their asses out and have them catch these hands.

... what the fuck, first off.

'getting along' is a stretch to describe what happened and this is kinda fucked anon (i will get to that cause you're making me worry)

things *were* tense when they met again, they were literally hurling insults at each other while hughie had to mediate. butcher literally called her 'chum' for shark infested waters, and starlight called him out on his bullshit bigotry with 'i know a guy just like that, he's got a flag for a cape'. hun, where the hell were you when they *were* literally silently seething and fighting *ON SCREEN*???

what *actually* happened was that they took a moment to *set their differences aside* because someone they *both* loved/cared for was in literal danger of *DYING*.

at that point, it didn't matter how *they* felt. hughie was in *crisis* so *HUGHIE*, NOT THEIR FEELINGS, became *priority*.

*after* the crisis was averted, they had a moment of playful banter about the person they just made sure was *safe* and would *survive*. the tension of the crisis was gone, and they could take a breath. that they happened to be around each other was just a fact of the matter. but *hughie* was still their priority and common ground.

so i guess you could say it's rushed, but the situation was rushed over all (of course it was, time crunch with a fuckin' crisis, hellooooo???) but what the hell were you expecting, for them to fight and argue in the *hospital* and potentially kill hughie with their stress and anger instead of letting him rest easy????????

what happened during those scenes is genuinely, a completely normal and very human reaction for people to have. prioritizing *crisis* over animosity. i.e. being normal ass rational people who don't let their hatred/anger take complete control over them.

annie (very obviously) is *not* one of those people and never has been.

for butcher, it *depends* on how he's feeling i guess, but there's clear implication that he leans on people *like hughie* or becca to *pull him back* from that place. in that moment, his worry for hughie outweighed his hate boner for supes. that happens sometimes.

and i gotta gotta gotta be clean with you on this hun, cause jesus fucking christ was this one loaded.

if you *genuinely* feel that *fighting* and *hatred* with someone you dislike should take *priority* over someone you both *love* fucking *DYING* right next to you?

you *NEED* to seek help, *anger management* (if you have the resources and i hope you do, sincerely)

from a *real* therapist, who can *actually* help you. (NOT ME)

or at least, idk, look up a couple videos maybe??

and listen, i'm not saying this to hurt you.

but i am getting strong STRONG bad *BAD* 'billy butcher'/'homelander' levels of toxic masculinity and irrational aggression from you here (not necessarily towards me i mean, just in general, dial it back, hun)

anger does not make you better, right, or stronger. anger *DOES NOT* solve problems.

*anger* makes you *stupid*, and going with the first knee-jerk angry response that pops into your head is a sign of *weakness*. it is an example of the *lack of impulse control* that many can and often do struggle with (society is fuuuuuuuucked...)

there are *healthy* outlets that can help you let off steam and cope productively, and i guarantee you it will lengthen your life and allow you to live happier the quicker it gets addressed!

shit, you can even try out something as simple as playing harvest moon--any of them! my darling friennnnn~<3 suggested it to me and whoopdi-fuckin'-do, it's actually *HELPING* me~!!

you seem to love to hate butcher and homelander (and i'll be fair, i do too! even if i love them just as much lmao) but i'm starting to get the vibe that it's more so because you see some major parts of *yourself* reflected in them.

it is *okay* to have fight in you. it is *okay* to feel angry. that's *natural*.

it is *not* okay to use that anger as a means to *only* be destructive, whether internally or externally. that is the whole point of what makes butcher and homelander wrong, but you are stuck and determined to commit the same error or see it committed by others, like ryan.

it's okay to have spunk and spirit, be a little assertive, live your life, enjoy yourself.

but giving into your anger at the drop of a hat?

i promise you (from fucking experience) it will only *RUIN* YOU and your life.

at the *very least*, learn to recognize the most obvious factor here.

you are not other people.

other people are not you.

just because *you* would have a certain reaction to something (or believe you would because we never really know until it happens to us), *does not* mean *others* would have the *same* reaction to the same thing.

*OTHER PEOPLE* reserve the right to their own thoughts, feelings, experiences and appropriate *reactions* to whatever the situation may be.

**and regardless of what those may be, they are no less or more valid than you or yours for it**

actually, if i'm being completely real here, choosing *violence* over civility is what *should* be frowned upon. but you are *literally* making a complaint about them choosing to be *civil* instead of violent.

what the fuck.

NEXT--

I think had Becca survived season 2 in it's entirety, Ryan would've grew to be a caring and generous person, but comes from a religious family, which might make him unpleasant at times. It's possible he would be raised with the concept of gender roles (I mean, it's possible that Becca didn't get an abortion is because she's religious, why else would that st. Nick necklace would imply that). Though, I could be reaching because we did see her gouge a nazi's eye out

wut?

WUT???

just... honestly wut?? not leik in a bad way. but WUT???

this one is weird. i do think you're reachin' here because *just* because someone is 'religious', doesn't mean they're anal and obnoxious about it.

case in point, *ANNIE*

she's religious (and still religious tho not as strongly/has obviously struggled but accepted the cross from her mom at the end of s2) but she's not a bible-thumper or puritan, and feels uncomfortable about those sects of religion.

you also seem to underestimate the *severe* penchant for violence many *many* religious people have.

do the crusades not ring a bell to you? the nazis cited religion as their justification for their actions more often than not.

but religion itself or being religious is not an inherently bad thing (i'm critical because of how it's used/what i personally went through because of it), overall, it's just a tool that many normal people just use to have hope or make their lives a little easier stomach.

it give the placebo effect, if you will.

it's in the same boat as money. money itself is called the 'root of all evil', but in reality, it's just a tool that holds no moral weight one way or another. (it's the *people* who are moral/immoral or use it in such ways)

morality itself is subjective depending on the time period and the values that society holds at a given time. humankind is still in the process of trying to reconcile and rationalize a globally acceptable form of morality that prioritizes humanity as a whole rather than one specific group, and it's been... not great? very slow going lmao but i digress.

religious *text* is a bit of a different story, most bibles/written stories are fuuuuuuuuuucked one way or the other. but again, then you're looking at who's a bible-thumper and who isn't.

i will say that if becca had survived, things would def probably be a lot better for ryan. but it would be a different tense situation with either them in hiding/trying to find a new safe place (i like to think they'd leave the country) or with her *in* the safe place raising ryan.

and either *begging* billy to come home (cause she always believes in him :((((((((((((((() from his revenge rampage, or billy being there and raising ryan--while seething because 'homelander'...

this is dark, but i get the feeling it would eventually lead to an altercation, either where billy leaves to go after homelander and the above happens, or billy murders the kid in front of becca/finds a way to sell him back to vought (like becca had said he would and both knew he'd try again) to supplement the bottled in rage that had been slowly chipping away at him...

leik. s3 alone gave a perfect example of a seething billy/what his violence withdrawal does to him. and that was with him *still* getting the little bits sprinkled in here and there so--

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Ryan's life has consisted of nothing but hardships. He was isolated and sheltered from the outside world, living in a compound for a good majority of his childhood. He lost his rarely saw her real mother, and Grace served as his primary maternal figure afterwards. Got gaslighted by Billy because billy's connection to underages is too damn weak. Homelander, the only biological parent that he has left, sees him as an extension of himself, and treats Ryan more like a pawn than a son. Shitlander is going excessively control Ryan's life, manipulates, and gaslight him constantly when ryan displeases him. Spermdonor won't even view Ryan as his own person - to him, Ryan is a pawn that's his property to use in any way he wants, so he plays with Ryan's emotions to have the upper hand. Even though Spermdonor will treat him like dirt, Ryan will desperately try to please his deadbeat, and garner any sort of attention from him. If Ryan finally escapes the clutches of spermdonor and Billy to find others who will help him rather than hinder him, he'll be content and genuinely happy. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if his happiness is stripped violently from him when Homelander or billy take that away as punishment for ryan "betrayal". I wouldn't be surprised that down the line, Ryan snaps and becomes a hostile, hateful, bloodthirsty, and vengeful supe at the end of the series because Billy didn't bother to ask Marvin for help in terms of handling children and Homelander is a life ruiner.

some incoherency here, but i mean... that is history repeating itself??

baby, this one coulda been your own post. half time i ain't even really sure what you want me to say with these??? sometimes i feel like you're just throwing shit out to see if you can trigger me?? but that's the general paranoia talkin' (or at least i'd like to think i know myself well enough to say that)

but i gotta be honest, sometimes ya say stupid shit--(which fair enough, we all do at one point or another myself included~), but leik...

i hope this isn't too much to ask but...

maybe *think* before you *act*??

a lot of these read like impulse and like they're not thought out very well, but maybe if you took a moment/step back to make your own post/think about the thoughts you put into them, you could idk, make more sense of them i guess?? better organize it??

what do you mean with the first part??

ryan was in a compound, but he wasn't purely isolated/sheltered or in a lab. yeah, still not great (as no interaction with other children/general city life has given him some anxiety and that much is clear). but that can also happen when kids move from rural areas to cities in general. his real mother (becca) was also his *primary* caretaker, almost *always* with him unless she dropped him off at tutors/had to step away for a moment.

leik what's going on here, are you confusing baby homelander with ryan??? cause the baby they showed us in a lab and the kid getting experimented on was *young homelander*, NOT ryan.

but generally speaking, before homelander showed up, that kid was fuckin' happy, just livin' his life? that's what makes homelander's sudden appearance so fucking traumatic. the kid didn't really want or need saving at the time, but now he legit does.

homelander actually... sees ryan as an obligatory way to gain affection/love. you have to understand, homelander functions almost entirely on the belief that he is unloveable/people will abandon him/call him a monster/hate him/etc.

that's why he defaults on instilling fear to make them 'respect' him or *fear leaving his side* no matter how badly he mistreats them, that's clear enough when his relationship with stormfront starts and he threatens her for lying to him.

homelander has never had real family or love and is very desperate for both. he doesn't have a full understanding of it either. but ryan fits with the 'idea' of both. because blood family is 'supposed' to 'love unconditionally' and ryan is 'blood'.

on the flipside, ryan is very intelligent/quickly learning how to use his powers and what he can/can't get away with--due to who his father is. don't underestimate the kid, because homie is so stunted and ryan is still clearly very *special* to homelander (if for the wrong reasons), i think he can and will use that to his advantage.

ryan already hits all the tickers for *being* what homelander *wants* him to be, mostly by existing.

a boy

has powers

aaaaaaaaaaand that's pretty much the end of homie's list lol. and we can see at the end of s3 that *this* alone is *enough* for homelander to *actually* listen to and be manipulated by his son, not the other way around (ryan gets him to leave rather than killing billy)

you're under the impression that homelander will be a controling parent, and i think in some ways, he *could* be. but most of what we *have* seen is implying something *very* different will happen.

apart from the roof scene, he hasn't really mistreated ryan. he actually did really good with ryan's anxiety/has shown general patience but it's clear he's trying to gain ryan's trust/affection so i guess we could technically interpret this as the love bombing phase?? still, most of what we're shown was him mistreating *becca* or others, but not ryan specifically (he def does set some monumentally shitty examples tho)

either way, homelander *still* wants love and approval, *even* if and *especially* if it comes from *family*/his *son*. he's also a victim of grooming that still hasn't grown from the dependency that made him have on his abusers. believe it or not, that actually leaves him open/vulnerable to *ryan* being the one to control and manipulate him. granted ryan is a child. but 'he knows not what he's done/capable of' and all that jazz.

don't get me wrong, i do picture it's gonna be a fucked dynamic and homie will get 'controlling' to a degree. but don't think the kid is so damn helpless there.

we're more likely to see complete minilander spoiled brat ryan and full blast karen 'my kid can do no wrong/*HE* can do whatever the fuck he wants!' homelander than anything else.

ryan *may* try to desperately please homelander, but homelander *will* try to desperately please ryan. it's likely to create a very toxic and enabling 'we only have each other' dynamic because that is the point both have been driven to.

but again, history repeating itself

anywho~<3

The man who threw a can at Ryan back in season 3, is the same reason why people throw shit like rocks or just plainly spit at offsprings of tyrants.

i think it was a cup/soda?? but that's not really the point.

i'll be blunt here.

**the sins of the father are not the sins of the son**

just because people react like animals and blame innocent kids for what their parents do, doesn't make them right. i'd say it makes them dead wrong and very fucking stupid actually, because the kids *have no choice* of the family/blood they are born into, or even what they're initially taught to believe.

that man was a fucking moron. i won't say he deserved to die for something that didn't actually hurt ryan, they could have pressed charges for assault of a child on him and made a public spectacle of him and ruined his life (*that* would be rightly deserved)

but that was a *WILDLY* stupid thing of him to do, *knowing* homelander's powers, supposedly being a starlight supporter (which means he would believe homelander is evil) and *knowing* that this was his fucking *child*.

only the weak, childish, and stupid take aim at the innocent for the actions of a tyrant.

play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Not only Ryan looks the most like spermdonor and is said spermdonor's son, but a painful reminder of what happened to Becca. Billy is going to despise/resent Ryan more nonetheless. No thanks to Billy's weakass connection to kids either. Besides, Billy already started showing signs of deflection after season 3, episode 3.

billy's been a cunt from before the story began, where have you been lmao?

billy already resents ryan more so for what he is (a supe freak), but i would def say who he's related to probably doesn't help. still, despite it, ryan is also the last remnant of becca that he wants any connection to (since he's absolute dogshit to her other family but still mainly for his promise to her).

the thing is, ryan is still a useful tool/something to hold over homelander's head, and that, albeit fucked up, makes him worth something in billy's fucked up head. if he hadn't made the promise to becca, ryan would probably already be dead.

i do think he will look for excuses to give into his urges/hatred and break his promise to becca (as nearly the whole of s3 was~) if not use ryan as his trojan horse and be the first person infected with that virus and send him back to homelander--

ANYWHO--

next time this ask bug bites you, for the love of satan, take a moment to take a step back and gather your thoughts, and maybe make your own post/rant on your own blog for it instead of sending literal barrages of asks to people (idk if you do this to others or how many/often, but if they don't answer 'em there might be a reason for that.)

or at least compile it neatly enough into *ONE* (SINGULAR) minimally semi-coherent ask.

of course i care about the serious stuff and make psas, i don't even mind answering asks, even the crazy ones~ ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

but i do actually wanna have *fun* in fandom (leik C'MON i obsess over shitty men fucking/impregnating billy butcher!!), not be stressed out all the time or stuck on the hard topics trying to explain things to someone i don't even know is actually willing to listen.

leik i literally had to keep randomizing my queue because it was filled with so much negative shit at one point and *i* was overloaded just by looking at it.

i especially don't wanna be dealin' with fuckin' ableism and victim blaming in my ask box. that shit is rank, and i'm tired of it

get smart or just stop, my answers on that shit ain't gonna change.

but you can even post it private if you want. just

LET ME HAVE A FUCKIN' BREATHER--

preferably... 666 months~<3

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crocomom · 10 months ago

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DW ASK GAME 2 3 4 5 6 10 13 17

HIIII

2. Which outfit of the Doctor would you wear yourself?

Probably a bit of a boring answer but I always liked 10's suit-and-Converse fit while I was watching it and that's the outfit I can most realisitically picture myself wearing

3. Which Doctor do you think should had more seasons?

100% Nine. SOCIETY IF (RTD hadn't been awful to work with I guess)

4. Who is your favourite companion?

HMMM genuinely changes depending on which companion I'm watching at the time but probably Donna and Sarah Jane overall? Honorable mention to Amy and Rory because they're the ones I grew up with :]

5. When you could have one trip in the TARDIS where would you go?

I always like the idea of going really far back into the past (like, hundreds of thousands of years) to see how people lived back then, but if I got only one trip then I'd want to go really far into the future instead. Some kind of setting where humans and aliens made contact a long, long time ago and now they're living peacefully, idk I just think it'd be fun to see where we end up

6. Which season do you like the least?

Well. I haven't seen Seasons 10-12 in full since they aired, so I can't really pass judgement on those although I can't exactly say any of them were my faves. As for the rest, I like 1-5 most, 6 and 7 both have some really good episodes but kinda convoluted story arcs, and 8 and 9 have good story arcs but worse individual episodes on average I'd say. So probably s7 or 8 is my least favourite </3 there are parts of both of them that I enjoy though ofc

10. Which romance do you like the most?

Probably the Doctor/River? (Not super fussed about which Doctor although ofc it's 95% 11). Concept of their timelines always being the wrong way round goes hard <3

I also like the Doctor/Master LOL but idk if I can really call that a romance when it's not canon in the show

13. What scene scared you the most?

That bit in Midnight where the mysterious entity is knocking on the walls I think

17. What is your least favourite episode, and why?

Kill the Moon is obviously a bad episode (it's the pro-life moon abortion episode if you haven't seen it), but I really don't like Under the Lake & Before the Flood. Idk why exactly but it was boring when I watched it for the first time and it's boring when I watch it back now

#asks #doctor who

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jodjuya · 11 months ago

Text

Alrighty, bad guy defeated and Time Key Thingy recovered!

Back to the future we go, to hopefully get Masamune reforged with no further complications...

Lucca helping out with reforging the sword while Chrono and Marle stand in the corner making out because they have nothing better to do...

Off we go to find Frog!

I wonder when we'll finally be able to open up those Mysterious Seal chests...

Sweet, Lucia's dad made her some fire-resistant armour. Thanks dad!

Frog is in The Past I think? 🤔

Wait, Frog is a king?!?!????

Also, what, all four of us are supposed to snuggle up on Frog's one little bed while we stay the night? 😅

(who tf is Glenn?)

Ohh, THAT'S the Frog King!

Why did Frog King have the hero badge? I thought we gave that back to Regular Frog??

OH! THIS WHOLE THING IS A FLASHBACK?!

I bet Glenn turns into Frog...

Lucca: "nothing can beat science!"

("Science" is the name of her gun)

All this trouble to obtain Masamune and I can't even equip it????

More tedious flashbacks about how Glenn was a frog the whole time even before he became Frog.

Also, didn't the manual say he was badly beaten and turned into a frog? Looks to me like he got turned into a frog first and then fell off a cliff about it...

Crono, you could have just handed him the sword rather than staking it into the turf and dulling its edge 🙄

Frog unlocked the power of being a simp! He can finally wield the sword sharp enough to cut a mountain in half!

Me during that fight: I should take Froglenn to The End Of Time and learn him some magic!

Crono after the fight: we should go to The End Of Time and learn you some magic!

Off we go on a Magical Detour!

That was quick and easy. :D

Back to our quest to Find and Fuck Up the Fiendlord!

Why is there a little bat following us around?? A spy??!

Froglenn and Marle learnt their Ice Water dual-tech after their very first fight together.

I've been battling with Froglenn and Lucca together through many battles and they ain't learnt shit. What gives?? 🤔

Oh, it depends on Froglenn's single-tech abilities which he hasn't learnt yet...

This castle is creepy AF but nobody's home?? 🤔🤔🤔

I bet that Spy Bat will attack when we try to leave...

Oof, the skeletons ask us to end their misery? Fucking necromancy.

Seems like a pretty bad sign that that little Spy Bat leaves when fighting starts then returns right after...

I knew it! Bat was secretly a bad guy!

Okay, we fucked up Magus in the middle of his ritual, and all got sucked into a time portal, and now Crono is married to Marle and they're living like Common People and also Crono is an unemployed layabout? I think we broke the timeline... 😬

Aaaaand we're also simultaneously 65mya?? Poor timeline 😭

"Red star in sky. See even daytime!" Yep, I knew it. This game is so good at foreshadowing! 😁

Something weird in the lava but we need a pterodactyl to get there. Good thing I know where those guys hang out: with the cowardly tribe!

Oh no! Cowardly tribe! 😭

Time to go exterminate some reptites! >:[

★Lightning II is my best friend.

Jesus, Nizbel, I GET IT! YOU WORK OUT! EVERYBODY ALREADY KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU WORK OUT!

Oh lol he's not going to fight us? He's just going up stand there doing upper body flexes forever? 😂

Oh I guess he changed his mind and/or remembered that he was supposed to be a bouncer and not just eye-candy. Silly himbo dinosaur.

Lmfao! The flexing was textual! 🤣

No, Ayla, don't honour your fallen foe! Yeet that sonofabitch off the side of this castle and into the waiting lava below!

This jackass didn't even know what he was summoning?? He just wanted to apocalypse the planet the old fashioned way with a really big rock for giggles??

No! Ayla! No! Bad cave-woman! Don't rescue that piece of shit who tried to genocide your entire fucking clade! YEET HIM INTO THE LAVA!

Well at least he got vaporised. Small condolence... 😒

Good thinking, Marle! Go coup de gras that sonofabitch space monster while he's still groggy from his encounter with gravity!

Huh, cool. Ice age.

Is that a fucking flying mountain tethered to earth with a giant chain?! Fuck yeah! 🤩

OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY FLYING MOUNTAINS! :D

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FLYING MOUNTAINS???! D:

The books light themselves on fire when you try to read them? Talk about hot secrets lmao

Hey kid, don't prophesize my doom! That's such a rude thing to do!

Valuable loot to the North, magical research secrets to the West. So many quests to undertake! :D

Definitely don't burn the sapling received from the guru of life.

"Discovered the Nu's itchy spot! 🥳" Uhhhh... okay?

This whole dream palace is powered by praying to Lavos?? Seems suss...

That Mammon Machine is the most sinister goddamn contraption I've ever seen in my life

Pretty sure we're not going to see that princess alive again 😬

But her amulet that looks like Marle's amulet unlocked the mysterious door! I wanna unlock the mysterious door too!

Haha! Yes! Charge my amulet you horribly sinister contraption!

Don't prophesy against me you dick! Fucking Chancellors!! All my homies hate Chancellors!!!

Back to 65mya to grind more TP from the Nu at the Hunting Grounds...

Enough of that. Let's go look for all of those sealed chests and doors I think I can open now...

Present Day Chancellor telling Marle that her dad 'killed' her mum. Dude, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?? What the fuck is the problem that all Chancellors in this fucking game have???

God, Marle's dad is such a little bitch. What the fuck do you mean that princesses aren't allowed to have friends??

Oof, just got disowned. Why would that scheming cunt of a Chancellor engineer this situation??

And all he has to say for himself is "oh dear..."

Aaaaand he's right back to threatening to have Crono put to death for no fucking reason. Dude, I am going to marry the princess purely for the sake of becoming prince consort & gaining the authority to have you defenestrated from the castle's tallest spire into a pit of spikes and broken glass.

Then he suggests bribing the king back into a good mood with spiced jerky. That's like the second or third person who's requested that now... I should track some down... 🤔

Kitchen hand doesn't have the recipe but says I can get it in Porre. Hmm.

(oh neat, the castle kitchen has a pair of ordinary domestic refrigerators!)

"Pierre is awaiting you downstairs". Fuck, that's ominous...

Oh, it's just my lawyer lol

He was able to change the king's mind so he no longer believes I kidnapped his daughter

But the Chancellor "has been acting quite strangely." HE'S A FUCKING MONSTER-MAN WEARING A HUMAN SUIT! I KNEW IT! LET'S GO FLAY HIM TO PROVE IT!! HERE MATE BORROW MY SWORD LET'S DO THIS!!!

Oof, the Chancellor hired all the prison guards... Who have creepy inhuman eyes and stares??? This is an insurrectionist plot from the supporters of the Fiendlord!!! REPTITE BODYSNATCHERS ARE INFILTRATING THE GOVERNMENT!

Spiced jerky found. Let's go make the king less hangry...

Lmao!!! Whoops!! It's a lethal amount of spicy?? "This is the last straw! Now I truly know how much you hate me!" - That scheming fucking Chancellor set us up!!!

Can't believe bro has the gall to fuck with time-travellers. Bro I'm going to fucking unmake you! Gunna find your dad and cut his balls off!

Got my very own personal time machine, hurrah!

Going spelunking in that sinkhole that mysteriously opened up in 600AD...

Hell yeah, reverse that desertification! Go robo!

Hell yeah magical hat nun!

Hell yeah camping in the forest that we created!

This is some top tier foreshadowing! Who could be behind it all?!

Oh, I'm Lucca now?

Haha, Froglenn sleeps in his fell-off-a-cliff death pose 😂

Special portal for Lucca?

WHY IS IT RED??!

We've travelled back ten years to when Lucca thought science was stupid? 🤔

Oh shit! Mum's getting sucked into a machine.

Ohhhhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck she got her legs mangled right in front of my eyes a second time

Imma reload my save until I figure out how to save her. Jesus fucking Christ Chrono Trigger what the fuck

The password is his one true love? Lara?

Fuck that was a close call. At least Lucca no longer blames herself for her mother getting crippled. 😬

...how did Robo know what happened, and that Lucca blamed herself???

😭😭😭😭😭

Right, back to the Past, to go kick the ass of that evil prophesizing git of a scheming chancellor...

Climbed up the chain to the tethered floating mountain/s

These omnilock guys are annoying as heck. 😒

Ayla learnt Dino Tail and that is the single goofiest special attack I've ever seen in a video game before. 🤣

Unexpected boss battle because I wasn't paying attention to The Signs And Portents. (aka there being a save point there at the end of the dungeon)

Busted Giga Gaia to bits anyway. I feel sorry for the guy that every time he regrew his arms (a very neat technique for a boss monster to have) I immediately re-disintegrated them with Crono's nuclear bomb special move. 😅

Anyway, we freed Melchior from his prison!

Wait, why was Melchior imprisoned in a crystal? And why doesn't he recognise us? We've already seen him hanging out free in his house plus he reforged Masamune for us. Oh, of course, time-travel shenanigans!

"Oh dear, the queen is going Evil and Insane? Don't worry, Melchior, we know how to fix that!! [Crono cocks his sword like a pump-action shotgun. It makes the noise and everything. Ayla and Robo do the same with their forearms but Ayla clearly just made the sound effect with her own mouth. It sounded weird and cute way because she has no clue what sound she's supposed to be imitating.]"

Oh shit, the entire mountain is exploding because we freed Melchior? RIP those poor magicless folks living underneath it.

Oh 'good', that princess is here to help, and her brat of a brother.

Oh, the princess controls the machine, and is going to cut off her mother from the juice? I bet her life expectancy can be counted in minutes...

Dalton, we beat your ass already, don't make us do it a second time!

Ooh, he punched the brat across the room. That's kitten-kicking villainy right there.

"don't attack me or I'll kill the princess (whom I need to capture alive for this scheme to actually work)" bro I'm not sure you thought that one through. Killing her will achieve our goals and thwart yours.

Ooh, new chopper! Is it a weapon I can equip or just a mcguffin to lug around?

Boo, mcguffin.

Get wrecked, Dalton, you chump. Down we go to the ocean palace!

#chrono trigger #jodjuyas video game reviews #this post is long enough I'll start a new one

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thewertsearch · 2 years ago

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Asks Comp 13/4

I think he's behind that door. The platform bears his symbol, and it's his final chance to show up in-game.

The best theory I have is that Bilious Slick is the god of Sgrub, and he only appears to a party of Players who have truly proven themselves. Given that Sgrub's endgame involves the creation of a universe, his role probably relates to this in some way.

Maybe he's the one who grants the Players the 'seed' - or whatever else is mechanically required to alchemize a universe.

The thought has occurred to me, too! I've been skimming some old posts while writing asks, and a couple of things have stood out to me.

We still don't know who the pen pal is. I'm still convinced he has something to do with Grandpa Harley, and my best guess is that he's someone who contains Grandpa as an alchemical component.

The session monitor in Skaianet's lab has a new meaning now. Every single one of those sessions could spawn a universe. And it's been implied that every planet with intelligent life will eventually spawn Sburb sessions. If you do the maths, it's clear that each universe should spawn billions of sessions. Just how many 'children' does each universe produce?

Ooh, yes, let's think about the implications of all this on my 'sonas!

If we assume that the kidsona was on comic-canon Earth, then she's in the universe created by the Zodiac trolls. The universe that she and the trollsona could create could be a completely new one!

...that is, if they create a universe at all. There's nothing saying you have to use that grist on a universe, and they might have other plans...

I was actually thinking about Tinkers when I made that post!

I read Worm a couple of years ago. In retrospect, it would also have made pretty good liveblogging material, although probably not quite as good as Homestuck. There's some great stuff in Worm, but a lot of what I really like about it doesn't show up until close to the end.

I initially assumed that the Psychic Double Reacharound was a contingency plan that she'd prepared earlier, since she couldn't possibly have come up with something so elaborate in the heat of the moment, while bleeding out on the ground.

But then I remembered she came up with the Sollux/Mind Honey plan seemingly on the spot, and now I'm not so sure. God damn, Vriska.

This is genuinely super flattering. I hope the inconsistency isn't too much of an issue - and, yes, I note the irony of saying this immediately after a four-month hiatus!

If was clear from early on that things in Homestuck weren't always what they seemed. Hell, sometimes they're not even what we're shown.

We have to assume some of what we're being told is true, or else we wouldn't have a story - but we always have to remember who's telling the story.

[Lol I love this fic. lots of **GIANT** spoilers tho, just because of the nature of the fic. For example, big ones starting at 16, 55 and 57 - C]

Recommended, and does apparently contain spoilers - but this is one I'm particularly looking forward to.

It's kind of a funny question, isn't it?

From Davesprite's perspective, he did change the future - his future. John died, but he 'changed things' - and now John's alive, even though he was dead 'before'.

But if you zoom out a little, you can see that this change was predetermined by the Alpha Timeline, which always depended on these events. Davesprite changed the first-order future - but the meta-future was always set in stone.

The Medium's timeline is so weird, isn't it? Its retroactive existence is difficult to puzzle out.

I don't think you could see the history of your Land by travelling back before you entered. All physical evidence of that history is there, but it's generated in a single instance when you Enter, and can't be accessed. It's analogous to read-only-memory.

After all, John, Rose and Dave are in the past with respect to LOJADE, but they're never going to see its 'history' - and Jade's Entry isn't going to insert it into the Medium retroactively. It won't have been 'there all along' when John was flying around earlier on his jetpack - it'll only ever have been there from Jade's Entry onwards.

As for getting into Earth's past, I think Karkat had it right, when he described the kids' original universe as 'a set of points to choose from'. You can't get into Earth's past by time-travelling around the Medium, but that doesn't really matter, since you can open portals into any point in its history, as long as you have the gear.

They're fascinating questions, aren't they?

Pre-Exile, she was the Tradition Wrangler - a Prospitian lawyer who struggled to interpret the Medium's archaic laws!

DD is a man of action, and I'm sure he approves of any Player who acts decisively themselves.

Plus, I'm sure he can emphasize with Aradia's situation. After all, it sucks to be bossed around by someone whose motivations make no goddamn sense half the time.

Common Terezi W.

True - she didn't need to hold her there for long. The laser pointer thing is a better analogy, blinding her almost instantly. I don't think it's any less fucked-up - it's more like a different flavor of fucked-up.

That's a pretty impressive robotics feat for Equius, actually. I wonder what Aradiabot is actually made of?

Tracing the source of alchemy gear is one of my favorite Homestuck 'minigames'.

Hivebent's art is fantastic! I really see why the comic blew up around this time. It's really coming into its own, stylistically. Of particular note is the art of Make Her Pay, and the art accompanying Aradia's final monologue. I can't wait to see more!

Gamzee is just too high to be rendered in a less symbolic manner.

Sollux is broken, and probably another mutant. The Sgrub trolls don't seem surprised by his level of power - but considering their circle includes other absurd espers like Aradia and Vriska, they probably aren't the best people to ask about what's normal.

Damn, I wish we could have seen more of Alternia. I know some of the spin-offs dig into this, but I hope we get more in canon, too.

Terezi's dream self is blind, because that's the version of herself she identifies most with. There's very little doubt in my mind that your dream self would reflect your self-perception in other ways, too. Skaia is clearly an ally - thank you, king.

You could imagine a Player whose dream self changes after they realize - or conversely, a Player whose dream self cracked their eggy loking thign. I'd be surprised if there weren't many fanfictions where this is a plot point - and depending on how things shake out in the comic itself, I'm not ruling it out.

In asking about magic, Kanaya really does start to sound like the young child that she is. It's easy to forget, but heartbreaking when you remember.

A few people have talked about this, so I added all of my 'immediate reaction' posts to the liveblog tag! I think it got them all - other than LOLCAT, which I missed and will add now - but if there are others, let me know!

I guess Matespritship isn't explicitly described in terms of romantic love. It's described as a close analogue of human romance, which is 'rooted in strongly positive emotions'. I've been assuming, based on that, that Red Romance is effectively interchangeable with the human concept of romantic love - but I suppose that's not necessarily the case.

I do think you're hitting on a very good point, here, too, which is that the quadrant system itself is described as something that trolls need. I think the 'need' for these categories is enforced, artificially, for the benefit of the Empire. It wouldn't be the first institution to pull something like this.

Either way, it'll be interesting to see how the troll/human ships end up shaking out. It's going to be a challenge to merge their respective relationship frameworks. The best solution, of course, is for them to experience their own relationships without any cultural baggage, but I don't think I'm just speaking for myself when I say that that's easier said than done!

#asks #full liveblog #act 5

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alatismeni-theitsa · 3 years ago

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hi aunty!! i’m an american student and have recently gotten the opportunity to study abroad in Greece for 4 months next year, which is of course incredibly exciting. since following your blog i’ve learned so much over the past few months, but i’d like to ask a bit of advice: what are some cultural faux pas i should avoid while in Greece? (side note: thanks for all the lovely greek language resource tips!! i will surely use them!)

Hello! Thanks a lot for your good words ❤️❤️ I am so happy this blog was useful to you! It's great that you'll visit us and stay here and I hope you have a wonderful time!

I will make a general list down below but please don't consider that I judge you personally or your character! I just want to cover all possible scenarios and make this post fit for referral in the future. Also many of these things are practical things but useful all the same!

Please learn as much Greek as you can because not only your whole native friend group must change their conversation language to include you but possibly a whole class of 100+ people as well (and sometimes the professors have such bad English that most Greeks in the class don't understand the course 😂). So you knowing decent Greek will help.

Most Greeks can speak decent English but don't assume everybody knows. Actually, when asking for directions or something critical to your safety/health/well-being, I advise you to not start the conversation in Greek if you don't have the skills to continue it and understand what the other person will answer in Greek. Do it only if you don't have a choice. Otherwise, ask if they can give you the formation in English and if they can't, go to someone else. In such situation you can use Greek words if you know them but don't say anything you are not sure about.

Speaking of directions, Google and Google maps and the commute apps are your friends. If you want to go somewhere it helps greatly to speak the name of the place in Greek or at least have it written in Greek on a piece of paper. E.g. say "I want to go to Monastiraki square" not "I want to go to Monastiraki" (because there's also a metro / bus stop called this way) or not "I want to go to the Little Monastery" or not "I want to go to that place with the square and the church and the Parthenon in the background and the flea market". And in general, don't assume there's only one of everything. Many places and streets have the same name. So always specify the area. Or show people the map on your phone. If you know where you will go beforehand practice the Greek place names as much as you can so others can understand you clearly.

Another annoying thing Americans do abroad is not saying "I am from the US" but "I am from X state". Just say the country.

Oh, you may already know this but, please don't use the translated words in Greek for "race", "biracial", "Brown" (and even "Black" depending on the occasion because some prefer "Afro-Greek") when referring to people. It's viewed as outright racist. If you have some of these identities, you will of course have the freedom to refer to yourself as you wish, but the wrong wording in Greek will be viewed as somewhat awkward. For ease you may want to say "my father is from the US and my mother from Bangladesh" (aka it's good to refer to the ethnicity, not the phenotype).

You can use their ethnicity or region ("South Asian" / "sub-Saharan African" etc) to refer to them to third parties if you can guess the region. (My tags #race in Europe and #race in Greece might help)

Also be a bit patient with Greeks in social issues and don't expect them to be as aware of "racial" issues as people in the US. Greece is the tenth least diverse country on the planet if I recall correctly, so the opportunities for learning are significantly fewer compared to the US. I am not saying you should accept harmful rhetoric if you hear it (!!). But if the person has good intentions be polite because the person might not have even considered that they have a bias. Conversation in good faith will be the most productive. I am saying this because lots of USians have the tendency to spend much time merely arguing and then nothing happens to improve the situation they are trying to fix.

In general, some US terms may have a bit of a different meaning in Greek so if you hear them in a weird context ask for clarification first on why this word exists in this context. Don't haste to correct the person if you hear something odd. But if anything makes you uncomfortable, clarify the reason why, and it's very likely that people will accommodate you.

If you are a POC and you see people staring, it's 99% likely they admire your features because they don't see "POC" as often. This depends on the area but even in Athens, Black Americans said that people in Greece approached then and told them they stared because the Black person was beautiful and had amazing/unique hair. I have uploaded such videos on the blog but I can't remember which tag I used (apologies, it was at least one year ago and I have 10.000 posts here 😔). But it may be in my tags I'll mention in this post!

Additionally, you may want to keep in mind, if you dine out with Greek friends, that you are here to hang out with them and not just eat. Meals and coffees outside must take 2-3 hours, it's common here.

Don't ask or press your local friends to tip. Tipping is not a custom here because the staff is actually paid by the restaurant owner. But you can tip if you want to, and it helps. It's worth noting that in some places in Greece tipping can be seen as a derogatory act on behalf of the customer.

Be very aware of the fact that this is a different country and the hours when restaurants, shops, museums etc are open probably differ from your country. Everything (even the city itself) has a site. Go there and see their working hours if they don't appear on Google.

Finally, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T THROW ANY PAPER IN THE TOILET! Please be very careful of that because our sewers will block and then the whole building will have a leakage issue of because of you 😂

See my tag #tourism for more details! If you have trouble finding the posts there let me know and I will help! Also don't hesitate to ask for more details either in anon ask or in a direct message.

If someone has anything else to add please do! I didn't remember many cultural things for this post but you can comment and reblog if you have thought of anything.

#answered #tourism #tourism advice

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quarthly · 4 years ago

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Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

#twilight saga #the twilight saga #twilight au #bella swan #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #jasper hale #jasper cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #emmett cullen #the cullens #the volturi #honestly look at the muscle definition on that thing #jesus chriiiist

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syubub · 4 years ago

Text

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #yoongi #bts imagines #bts readings #yoongi imagine #bts suga #min suga #suga #min yoongi

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rainplaysswtor · 4 years ago

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SWTOR: New player help: Contending with bugs

It's not a bug, it's a feature! It's working as intended! As you play SWTOR, you will notice that...things don't always go as expected. Here are some helpful tips for new players (and more long term players too) to try to help handle some of the most common bugs you will find in the game.

First thing: report the bugs you encounter. If nobody knows something's going wrong, it can't be fixed.

Everyone including free to play players can now use the in-game bug reporting system. How?

1. Go into your chat box (usually at the upper left of your screen and type /bug)

2. This should open a window that will allow you to type a short description of the bug you are seeing. Describe the bug. Make sure you mention 1) exactly what you were doing and 2) what was not working. For example:

"During the introduction scene for the flashpoint "This is Way Too Long," the character "I Don't Like You" does not have a head."

3. Press ' submit.'

Keep in mind that you will not get a response or any direct help from a bug report. This is to let the developers know what is not working in the game, so they can hopefully fix it.

2. Wait a little while after there's a new patch or game update

When there's a new game update or patch (you will know because you have new files that will automatically download when you launch the game), don't jump right into the new content with your favorite best character. Wait. It's hard, I know, but wait. The general trend over the past few years has been that new patches and updates always have bugs, and sometimes they're doozies.

It helps to have a "me first" character or two - perhaps a clone of your main - to wade into new content on the first day or week if you really want to see it. That way you can see the new content without being completely angry that it's messed something up for your characters or isn't running quite right.

3. Keep an eye on the Bug Reports section of SWTOR.com and the SWTOR Twitter account.

Even if you are not a subscriber you can still read the Bug Reports forum (I would not recommend the rest of the forums, though). There's usually a running list of known bugs for each patch listed at the top of the page. Also keep an eye on the SWTOR Twitter account. You can read it without being a registered Twitter user, and it will let you know when the game is going down for maintenance or an update.

4. If you are facing a bug that is making it impossible to complete a quest you need for story progression, you can reach out to SWTOR customer service for assistance. If you are a subscriber, press the little gears icon at the top of your screen, choose "customer service" and then "request help." If you are not subscriber, you can reach support at [email protected].

SPECIFIC STRATEGIES FOR COMMON BUGS

1. Help! My abilities bar got unlocked and I cannot get it to lock again!

When this happens, all your abilities will 'float' or move from their placements, which understandably makes it hard to fight. How to get around this:

1. When you are NOT IN COMBAT, press CTRL+U. All of your abilities bars/maps/etc. will vanish. Don't panic. This is the way.

2. Press CTRL+U again. Everything should come back. It may take a moment. Wait.

2. Oh no! My character's stuck in a rock!

Or on a cliff, or under a box, or up a tree. We've all been there. Go to your chat box (upper left, usually).

1. Write /stuck in the chat. This will either move your character to a place where they aren't stuck, or it will kill them and put them back at the nearest medical base.

2. What's that? Stuck isn't working, or you just used it and it needs to cool down? You can try using Quick Travel to travel to a nearby medical base.

3. Still nothing? Try porting to a stronghold, your ship or the Fleet.

4. Try logging out and logging back in.

3. What? I can't click the blue thing.

This bug has shown up all over the place, where an objective will be lit blue, but unclickable. I've found a few places where nothing I do makes this work.

1. Try changing instances.

2. Try logging out and back in.

4. This is a great cut scene...why is it freezing?!

Several years ago this bug was so severe in the Sith Warrior and Imperial Agent stories that only customer service could resolve it. It seems better now, but here are some ideas.

1. ESC out of the scene. Now try to start the scene again by clicking on the NPC /objective/whatever is the scene starter.

2. Can you guess? Log out and back in.

3. Close the game and try re-launching.

4. Try lowering your graphics settings in the game. Don't know why this works, but it did sometimes.

5. My character is frozen in a weird pose.

Just laugh at it, take a screenshot and share it with your friends so they can laugh. Typically this will not affect actual combat and will go away on its own eventually.

6. I want to romance Lana Beniko, Koth Vortena or Theron Shan in KOTFE...but I've heard things about the romance vanishing.

There are two general ways the romances in KOTFE get borked:

1. A patch happens before the romance is locked in (chapter 9) and all the player's flirts from chapters 3-8 are reset. The game thus forgets you were trying to romance Lana and you don't get the romance dialogue option in chapter 9. I've also heard of Koth and Theron romances vanishing, but not as often. The solution is to NOT play through chapters 3-9 of KOTFE when there's a patch happening. My general tactic is to play those chapters straight through, and not stop until I get to chapter 10, to make sure the romance is locked and won't be interrupted by a patch.

2. The player misunderstands the really poorly framed dialogue wheel in chapter 9. There's a moment, pictured below, where the camera faces Theron Shan, and there are choices that say "I need to see one of you" and "I need to see one of you" [flirt]. IT IS NOT JUST REFERRING TO THERON. If you are flirting with Lana or Koth and want to lock in their romance, DO NOT CLICK ON THE FIRST CHOICE (which is helpfully lit up here for your reference). YOU NEED TO CHOOSE THE [FLIRT] HERE, as well as the [flirt] in the conversation when you are alone with your companion of choice.

When your actions or conversation choice will start or end a romance, from KOTFE onward, you will receive a pop up warning that looks something like this.

Caption: This choice will begin a romance with Lana Beniko. Are you sure you wish to proceed? CONTINUE - CANCEL Once you have this scene, MAKE SURE you finish chapter 9 entirely so your choices don't get wiped out in a future patch!

7. My companion is stuck in place and won't move.

There you go, charging into the fray...there's your companion, lingering awkwardly at the threshold and not participating. Oops. You can usually wake them up by sending them away and then bringing them back. Easy ways to do this include:

1) Send them to sell junk (press N. Go to your companion who is with you. Press the little icon near their name to get them to sell the junk. Depending on the legacy perks you have purchased they will be gone for between 5 and 30 seconds)

2) Summon another companion, any of them, and then summon back the one you want.

3) It didn't work? Sometimes companions do seem to go on strike and you will probably just want to summon another to continue playing. This is a good reason to remember to have more than one companion at high influence, if you can, so you can switch as needed.

8. My companion keeps falling over.

Sternly tell your companion it's not time for a nap. Kidding. They really don't care. Any time is nap time. The steps in #7 should work to wake them up again.

9. I'm trying to loot something and it's telling me "out of range."

First, are you sure it's your loot and not some other player's? If it's yours, you can sometimes pick it up by walking away and then returning. Other times, look for someone else nearby to loot. I've on occasion found things unlootable, which is frustrating.

#swtor #rain plays swtor #new player help #it's a feature not a bug

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miqojak · 4 years ago

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Layers Upon Layers

one: outside layer

[Name:] "Jak." [Hair Style & colour:] "Black and orange. I wear it pulled back and braided." [Eye Color:] "Gold and jade green." [Height:] "Fuck if I know exactly. Under five fulms." (4'9") [Style:] "Depends on the day. Maybe the hour. Leather and mini-skirts are always a good bet, though. Sometimes a nice suit, sometimes my bike gear, sometimes a little something more form-fitting, elegant and gilded - 'desert chic', I suppose." [Best Physical Feature:] "Definitely my ass...though my legs cut it close, on that one. What do you think?"

two: inner layer

[Fears:] "You ask that and actually expect people to tell you?" (Small/enclosed spaces with no readily available exit, levin, Garleans, people getting too close to her/seeing who she really is) [Guilty Pleasure:] "People feel guilty for what they like? Who's going to judge me, the sheep who can't come up with a single original thought of their own, and feel guilty if they do?" [Biggest Pet Peeve:] "Biggest...that's tough, actually. Probably blithe optimism, or naivete. People too ignorant, or unwilling to ask questions and look deeper - or those simply unwilling to face hard truths. There can never be any growth if you aren't honest with yourself, after all. Unmotivated slackers. If you have no goals, why are you wasting this star's air?" [Ambition for the Future:] "To be feared and respected in equal measure. I've been pushed around for a long time, and now it's my turn."

three: thoughts

[First Thought When Waking Up:] "Probably...my to-do list for the day? That or wondering what the weather is like, and whether or not I'll be going on my usual morning run or be stuck working out indoors. That or 'Huh, they haven't killed us all yet.'" [What You Think About the Most:] "What my next step is in life - how I want to pursue that power I'm after without compromising who I am...and how the fuck I ended up with someone who actually cares about me in my life while distinctly trying to avoid that type of thing...and why he stuck around. I wonder about the 'why' a lot." [What You Think About Before Bed:] "Depends on the day, and what's happened, and if I'm headed there alone. If I'm not alone, it's probably something to the effect of 'I still can't believe he wants to be here/wants me to be here'. And whether or not I'm alone...there's always the nagging, ugly reminder that Garlemald's towers sit hunched in the sky, ready to end everything for everyone - predator and prey alike. It could be the last night for any of us." [Your Best Quality Is:] "My ass. But other than that...well, I'm honest, and my loyalty can't be bought. I'm not a good person, but I have my own...'code', in a sense, I guess."

four: what’s better

[Single or Group Dates?] "Group dates sound like a punishment. I can barely stand the slack-jawed idiots around me as it is. Though undoubtedly the punishment would be upon the others, considering who my date would be, and the fact that we'd probably spend the time verbally destroying the other couple." [To be Loved or to be Respected?] "Respected. Love without respect is horrifying. I've been there, I've suffered it, and I'm still recovering. But I still...don't know that I believe in love. At least not how most people do, I guess. Love makes people do stupid shit when they believe in it. Respect doesn't. Respect can stand alone, without needing love. Respect has to be earned. There's no claims of 'respect at first sight.' But like I said...love without respect is...ugly. Scary, even." [Beauty or Brains?] "Both, or no deal. Brains are essential, but I can't have a walking pile of dogshit on my arm, now can I?" [Cats or Dogs?] "Neither, I don't do pets - animals are food. But...I suppose I'd say dogs, though you'd probably incorrectly assume cats, based on the fact that I resemble one. But...there's been more 'canines' in my life in the last year or two than I care to recall."

four: do you…

[Lie?] "No. Not unless the situation is dire - my morals don't matter if my life is on the line. Survival comes first always." [Believe in Yourself?] "Much more than I used to. I've accomplished, and survived, more than most could even begin to imagine." [Believe in Love?] "Not...really? Maybe? Though I'll admit that for all my vehement denial in the past, someone has made me re-examine my emotions in the last half a year or so. I don't think I believe in the sort of 'love' that the general public believes in. I had someone force his fairy tale romance down my throat and do me a lot of harm both physical and mental with those ideals, as he forced me to be someone I wasn't. If adhering to what society expects of love is all that someone cares about - hitting the expected gestures as told in fairy tales? That's about as real as a fever dream. I don't like the word 'love'. Not what it's come to be associated with, and what's expected of you along with it." [Want Someone?] "For the first time in my life...yes. Not that I don't 'have' him as much as I can claim such, but when he's not around, I find that I want him to be. So...yes?"

six: have you ever…

[Been on Stage?] "No? I mean, my organization does run a jazz club, and it's been various theaters before that, and I've...sat on the stage, basked in the spotlight of an empty theater? I prefer to be...less in the actual spotlight, however." [Done Drugs?] "I've only been clean and sober for...maybe a year now? So yeah. I've...done a lot of drugs." [Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] "I've been a con-artist to put food on the table, but I don't believe in changing who you are to 'fit in.' If you don't fit in...you don't fit in. You are who you are. Being anything else is a lie, and does you a disservice. It's also a pathetic cry for attention - for the other bleating sheep to accept you into their herd. I won't debase myself to 'fit in' with my lessers."

seven: favorite

[Favorite Color:] "Black, white, gold, and red. I don't have just one." [Favorite Food:] "Once more, I don't have just one. I like red meat, I like seafood, and I enjoy rolanberries quite a bit. Of late, I think my current favorite snack is takoyaki though - this fried dough ball with octopus inside...just thinking about it makes my mouth water." [Favorite Game:] "Breaking and entering."

eight: age

[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] "No idea." [How Old Will You Be?] "No clue. I'm...twenty and four summers, roughly...give or take a couple." [Age You Lost Your Virginity:] "Care to lose yours to one of my knives, here?" [Does Age Matter?] "Should it? I suppose I'd be a bit baffled to see an old geezer with a hot young thing, but even so...who cares? I haven't exactly had a lot of lovers, but I don't think I ever asked any of them their age. So long as people stay the fuck away from kids, it's a non-issue in my opinion."

nine: in a partner

[Best Personality:] "An unflinching realist who not only faces the truth, but deals it out themselves. Ambition, and the ability to be honest with themselves about who they are." [Best Eye Colour:] "Who gives a shit? If I find them worthwhile, I'll like their eyes, I assure you." [Best Hair Colour:] "Who's out here checking people off a list because their hair is the wrong color? I mean, after some shit I went through, I might not want to ever see another red-head again, but realistically...who gives a single fuck? I think you're asking the wrong questions here. People often do - too busy dwelling on lust at first sight." [Best Thing to do With a Partner:] "Murder? Crime in general? ...Or a hot bath."

ten: finish the sentence

[I Love…] ...I just told you I don't do love. But...I do love the sun." [I Feel…] everything at once, or nothing at all, it seems." [I Hide…] who I am." [I Miss…] my family." [I Wish…] ...wishes are for simpletons. Actions achieve what you want." Thanks for the tag: @eligos-venator @placesyoucallhome @bek-sc @sundered-souls (I think I found you all who tagged me!)

I am late to this party! Tag yourselves if you want to do it, so I can read your stuff! I feel like most folks have done it, and I'm too brain-dead atm to root around in the bowels of Tumblr to see who hasn't, since I'm many days late! XD

#thanks for the tags!#layers #when she has an opinion #she has an OPINION #sorry if she rambles at times #layers upon layers #she's touchy about some inquiries too

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keith-claes · 4 years ago

Text

Again my writing skills airnt that great this will possibly be more than one chapter too depending how well it does.

(Girl from the future)

*Chapter 1*

_____________________________

One week before Katarina started work at Ministry of Magic with Maria, Katarina walks around her family gardens alone wanting alittle time to her self, once she starts her new job she wasnt going to be at home that often and wanted to visit some of her favourite hang outs, before checking her veggie garden she took a trip to her favourite tree she likes to climb, she walks over and spots something or someone passed out up in the tree.

Katarina: "is that a girl? She doesnt seem to be moving, I better check if shes okay"

She runs over to the tree as she climbs up, shes gets a good look of her, she appeared to be breathing still which was a good sign, she takes her hand as she checks her over, she looked awfully familiar to her, she has the same blond hair as her brother, so she wondered if perhaps this is a relative of Keith's possible cousin maybe that's why shes at the Claes mansion.

Katarina: "hey are you okay, you shouldn't sleep here, you might fall"

The girl slowly opens her blue eyes same shade of blue as Katarina's, luckily she was sat up in the tree, she places he hand behind her head as she winces out in pain"

Katarina: "hey are you okay"

???: "my head hurts... where am I, last I remember I was kidnapped and dark magic was casted on me by one of my uncles"

Katarina: "dark magic?, where are you from?, maybe I can help what's your name?"

Alice: " my name its Alice Claes, but um its werid now I look at you cause you look alot like my mom"

Katarina: "Claes? I never meet you before, oh you must be one of my cousins.... wait I look like your mom?"

Alice: "yeah my mom is Katarina Claes"

Katarina: "oh my name is katarina claes too, that's pretty cool"

Alice: "that can't be right... if your Katarina and you look like my mom..... what year is this?"

Katarina: "2021?"

Alice: "Wait what! But how, it can't be unless..... I was sent back to the past.... which means...."

Her body starts to tremble with fear, katarina holds onto her stopping her from falling.

Katarina: "time travel! Wait I think I studied about that in class, theres black magic that can send someone to the past or future, if that's the case then...."

Alice: "I have to go back home, I can't say anymore with out changeing the future I've said enough"

Katarina: "from what you said does that mean your my future daughter!"

Katarina wasnt expecting this, she was in shock, but remained strong for Alice who was scared, thoughts ran threw her head, if this really is her future daughter then who is her father and who sent her to the past like this, was this part of her future doom flags. Was someone going to target her threw her future child.

Alice remained silent not wanting to talk anymore about where she came from, one wrong word or move she makes could change the future.

A voice calls out to Katarina taking her away from her thoughts it had also pulled Alice away from her thoughts too. They both looked down the tree and see Keith calling.

Keith: "hey sister we've all been looking for you, Anne has tea and sweets prepared"

Alice: "I know him to he looks alot like someone I know...."

Katarina places her hand on her shoulder.

Katarina: "why don't you join us, are you able to climb down?"

Alice: "I don't have much of a choice do I?"

Katarina: "nope, your eatting sweets with me and Keith, I guess that would be your uncle Keith right"

She teases her as she Pat's her shoulder.

Alice: "I can't say anymore, I've gave too much away already telling you your my mom"

Katarina: "wait so he might not be your uncle?, hmmmm well I will stop asking, let's go down shall we?"

Alice nods and gives her a sweet smile, she follows Katarina down the tree, Keith watches both girls coming down but was curious who this other girl is.

Katarina: "wow you really can climb trees"

Alice: "yeah my mom taught me, through my father doesn't like me doing it he thinks it's to dangerous so I get into trouble alot.... hes pretty stricken and to over protective of me"

Katarina: "sounds alot like someone I know, my mom scolds me too for climbing trees"

She giggles as Keith runs over to her.

Keith: "sister dont tell me you've seduced another one!"

Katarina: "oh no it's nothing like that Keith! Shes lost right Alice"

Alice: "yeah...."

Katarina: "hey you know, now that I look at you both you guys could be twins"

She couldn't help but laugh at there reactions as Keith and Alice look at each as there faces flush red.

Keith: "sister what are you talking about, I dont have a twin, we look nothing alike either"

Katarina: "oh that's right Keith, this is Alice Claes, shes been sent from the future and she needs help to get back home, isn't she so adorable!"

Keith: "wait what.....future! Is that really possible, I didn't think time travel was possible"

Katarina: "yeah, someone casted dark magic on her and she ended up here, oh shes also my future daughter, how cool is that Keith!"

Keith: "wait did you say daughter? Shes your future daughter?"

Alice remains silent not wanting to interrupt them. As Keith looks at her.

Keith: "if that's true then how do we send her back to her own timeline, and who's her father?"

Katarina: "who knows she won't tell me, something about changing the future?"

Alice: "if I say anything about the future it may change things..... as for who my father is, I thought maybe you might of worked that out by now based on who I resemble most"

Katarina: "hold on not twins you guys ain't twins, woah hold up, for real! I know who it is, it has to be you keith! She has my eyes, and she's clearly resembles you in looks and same hair colour too!"

Keith's faces flush red as she points at him.

Keith: "wait what!"

Alice nods as they both look at her.

Alice: "yeah he's my father, I cant say anything else about the future, enough has come out as it is, I may of damaged the future enough as it is coming face to face with you both...... I just want to go home to my mom and dad"

She clings to Keith as she cries into his chest, Keith really didnt know what to do at this point, he was shocked, but yet happy too, hearing he will one day win Katarina's heart.

Keith: "dddddd daughter, I have a daughter with........"

Katarina: "I'm shocked, Keith! I know you confessed lately but this, I never expected"

Keith: "I think we should talk about this later sister, shes really clinging onto me in tears, we should do something"

Katarina: "I know what to do!"

She goes over placing her hands on her shoulder .

Katarina: "hey, it's going to be okay, let's eat some sweets then we can go and see a friend of mine, he knows alot about dark magic, maybe he will, know how to send you home"

Alice: "uncle Raphael and uncle Sora?"

Katarina: "yeah, through maybe you shouldn't call them uncle when we see them"

Alice: "yeah your right, I don't want to mess anything up, dad will be super annoyed with me if I mess the future up, I call all my mom's friends aunt and uncle, it's a habit I have, I will try and not say it if I see them"

She let's go of Keith as she wipes her tears.

Keith: "makes sense I'd be annoyed if you messed up the future, what's been said today stays between us three for now, lord and madam can't know about this either, for now we tell them your a guest staying for a few days till we can find away to get you home"

Katarina: "oh man, wish I could tell everyone I have a really cute furure daughter"

Keith: "no sister, bad idea if Geordo and the others find out, don't you think they'd end up hurt? That could most definitely change the future, they can not know about her"

Alice: "he's right, they can't know, if they ask just tell them I'm a distant cousin, its okay to tell sora and Raphael, the rest is to stay between us, through I'm finding it real hard to call you both by your names, I mean your both going to be my parents one day"

Katarina: "hm then why dont you just call us what ever makes you feel comfortable, but only when where alone? I don't mind if you call me mom"

Keith: "Sister!"

His face turns red with embrassment from hearing her say that,this was all a shock to him still, he never expected to run into his future daughter and here's Katarina acting all normal with this situation.

Alice: "sure if you don't mind me calling you mom"

Alice smiles at her, causing Katarina's heart to flutter she has that same cute innocent smile as Keith did as a child.

Katarina: "your so cute! Hey how old are you"

Alice: "I just turned 15, so um i dont want to sound rude but, I'm getting pretty hungry"

Katarina: "yeah me too, hey Keith or should I say dad"

She nudges him in his side with her elbow as she teases him.

Keith: "hey! Sister don't call me that, its embrassing!"

Katarina and Alice both giggle at his reaction.

Alice: "he hasn't changed a bit, he even calls you big sis still"

Katarina: "what for real?"

Alice: "yeah, I asked him about it once and he said it's a bad habbit of his"

Keith: "you really are from the future huh? Which means you weren't making it all up, your really my daughter?"

Alice: "sure am, I have two younger twin brothers and another sibling on the way, you will have your hands full future dad"

She playfully winks at him as she links onto Katarina's arm. Keith's face couldn't go any redder than what it was already.

Keith: "that many, lots of kids? With sister!"

His heart was racing in his chest to the point he felt like he was gonna pass out. What struck him the hardest was being called dad, it felt kinda nice to him but also made him feel weird.

Katarina: "hey hurry up Keith, or we will eat all the sweets with out you"

Alice: "yeah hurry up dad!!!"

Keith: "ah! I'm coming sister..."

He mumbles alittle something to him self not wanting them to hear.

Keith: "does she have to call me that, I'm not prepared to be called such things...."

To be continued.

#keith claes #the my next life as a villainess #hamefura #katarina claes #fanfic

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thirstofgames · 4 years ago

Text

kitty and the jailbird

#️⃣2️⃣

-IT'S A MATCH-

A blank chat popped open and Damien stared at it for a second. He had honestly not expected it. The girl actually swiped him right. He looked at the clock impatiently; he did not have much time left in the library. There was a loud shout from the hallway, his muscles tensing, ready to hide the phone and bolt at any second.

He regretted that last question right as he pushed send. It sounded so bitter in his head now. It was a dating app after all and she was a good looking young woman.

you there?

...

hello?

busy flirting with your other matches, huh?

And there it was all about to end, the hot topic of his whereabouts. And the swift and cruel rejection that followed. It had already happened one too many times! Could he go through his again? Was it worth it? His palms were sweaty, but he never felt so cold. If the ground could just open up and swallow him whole before she finished asking...

No, sorry

Just a little surprised we matched

you can unmatch if you want

Well, what I want is to talk with you 😊

Your profile caught my eye

what part?

Your profile pic at first.

Most guys can't pull off the broken, deep and scowling thing

But... looks good on you.

you don't look so bad yourself-

but then I read your description...

and I have to know something

shoot 🙄

It was a simple Yes/No question, but it took Kate way to long to answer. She bit her lip, thinking hard on the possibilities. It was such an unfair question though. She was not going to leave, but was not going to pursue anything with him until she knew what he was in for and how long he was going to be locked up. She'd wasted enough years waiting up on others...

I'm just a little confused 🤔

Are you really in jail?

you gonna leave if I say yes?

It really depends...

A bittersweet smile spread on his lips. What was he expecting from a girl like her? She probably had a nice job, a supporting family and tons of friends and... an actual future. Why would she even consider wasting her time with him? The little time he had left... Better to just pull off the band aid!

She felt to bad! She hadn't meant to disregard his feelings, but wasn't it fair to let her know what she was getting into? She didn't even know what he was expecting from the conversation they were having... She was curious, but she didn’t want to lead him on.

okay, let's just say...

the orange pants and barbed wire are real

OMG

I have so mane questions 😱

here we go...

What did you do?

Wait, where do you even hide your phone?

STOP!

enough with the interrogation, alright?

I'm just curious...

sure, but i'm more than just a prisoner

a little respect goes a long way

Kate’s heart sank. He was hot, but the prison was a serious issue... She supposed people were not lining up to get to know him. He seemed pretty well rounded and mannered, but he was very defensive about his crime. Did that mean it was something really bad? But he was on a dating app... so maybe he was getting out soon?

You're right!

I'm so sorry 😓

Let's change the subject

Why don't you tell me what you're looking for

hmmm

What?

i'm thinking...

nobody's really asked me that before

Seriously?

most people stop talking to me when they find out i'm locked up

i don't really blame them. i'm rough around the edges.

She didn't say anything for a while and Damien started wondering if he should just close the damn phone and leave. He should also probably take a break from Lovelink after this... it clearly wasn't doing him any good. Dark thoughts swarmed his mind and he had to close his eyes and head his head back against the bookshelf to get rid of the harrowing feeling. Like he was falling in an endless pit...

The screen showed him typing and deleting several responses. Kate pursed her lips, impatient. Had she said anything wrong? She’d never spoken to someone who’d been locked up, she was still unsure what could trigger painful memories, or just remind him that he was... not free. But he said he just wanted to chat and his profile mentioned 'deep conversations'...

Okay, I'm not running away, for now

but...

But I can't really make up my mind

If I don't know anything about you

So...

alright

honestly I'm just looking to talk to someone from the outside

it can get pretty boring in here, just waiting around the clock

Let's be friends then 😊

I'll be your window to the outside world

If that's alright with you...?

Damien sighed on the other end. Beggars can’t be choosers. It was a step in the right direction though. Maybe he was not going to find the love of his life at the very fucking end of said life. He was not living in some fairytale! He was still going to die, alone and forgotten.

But maybe... just a little less alone at the very end of his road. One friend meant more than none and maybe, just maybe... he could tell her his side of the story. Eventually. She seemed patient and understanding enough. Let at least one person out there know he did not murder his own father.

sure

that's more than most

Of course a pretty thing like her got a lot on attention... She was only chatting up with him because the others were offline-

but it must have been pretty bad to be such a long sentence

you still can't tell me what the crime was?

look, i've been making my own rules my whole life

you better ask what crimes I DIDN'T do

wow...

i'm no bragging or anything, just letting you know where I'm at

anyways, I'm more interested in what you're all about

what are you doing on an app like this?

Honestly...

I was about to uninstall it right before we matched 😅

you already found the one?

or no luck at all?

Well, I went on a few nice dates...

i see

Suddenly his experience on the app seemed less awful. Maybe it was not the right place. Or perhaps it was just the place for a misfit like him, here with all the weirdoes and con artists.

And then they ditched me for their exes

Just my luck 😂

Oh and I swear to god if I see one more vampire 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

vampires?

Yeees

You wouldn't believe some of the things I saw...

OMG, one dude was actually dresses up as a centaur

I...

don't even want to ask

There's also the 'prince' scam going around

Dudes claiming to be the heirs of some

Made up countries and asking you for money

It wasn't quite a rejection, but it still hurt a little. She already mentioned twice she was only interested in him as friends. She didn't need to spell it out every few minutes! But she was the only one...

Met some nice people too ☺️

Actually became good friends with some

Which is nice since I just moved here

were did you come from?

Pallay 💜

you're a long way from home

I know 😢

I suppose it was getting kinda lonely

My friends and family come visit when they can

But that's not a lot...

what brought you here?

Got a really good job opportunity

But I didn't quite realize how far away I'd be

So yeah, to answer your question from before...

I'm kinda just chatting with new people

Made more friends than anything else lol

Hope that's aright with you 🤗

A smile crept on his lips. An actual, genuine smile. How long had it been since he had any reason to? God, it felt good to talk to someone! Someone who didn't know him, who didn't shout 'walking corpse' after him, didn't judge him. He almost felt like his old self. Almost.

i'm cool with that

Great!

Looking forward to getting to know you, Damien 😄

so let's get to it

tell me about yourself

hobbies, favorite food, anything

my hobbies are always changing 🤔

I start something new every month or so

Oh, and I started volunteering at a vet lately

🐱🐶💕

With a friend I made on this app

it suits you

Hmmmmm how would you know?

We've only just met

just a hunch

I could secretly be evil 😈

you couldn't hurt a fly

besides, I've seen evil and believe me

you're not it

I'm guessing you're not going to elaborate on that

Are you?

see, you know me so well already

Smartass 😝

At lest until she finds out.

And I love food 🤤

Who doesn't? lol

But picking a favorite is like... impossible

I do have one hell of a sweet tooth 🍫🍬🍦

I'm soooo jealous

I miss making my own meals

That's right! You probably just have a cafeteria.

I'm so sorry 😓

it's cool

i'm glad we have something in common

Is there any food you miss?

Wait... was there even steak in that picture? Kate felt her ears burning, the fluffy pajamas studently itching at her skin.

just makin my own in general, being in charge in the kitchen

Damien scrolled quickly through his phone, the memories leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He nearly didn’t send the photo. It felt like so long ago, a different time...a different person. But it felt so good to remember! To be reminded of the more happier moments when he had all his life ahead of him! And showing her a piece of his past may make her curious enough to stick around for a while longer.

He hit Send.

-Tap to download photo-

Looks... delicious

you like steak?

Oh yeah, the food 😳

Wish I could have a bite of that hahaha

So not so shy and innocent as she claimed. Good to know. Even if it didn’t lead anywhere, which he had to be realistic about - he was on death row after all - it was still fun. The most fun he’d had in a long while. It felt...nice.

HA!

i wish you could too 😏

The door of the library swung open hitting the opposite wall. The guard in charge could be heard arguing with someone. At least four voices. He had to move fast.

I'm really hungry now 😅

good

Kate stared at the screen, the little green light besides his profile picture going grey. She scrolled through the conversation as if to make sure she hadn’t just imagined it. She tapped the picture he’d sent, a small smile creeping on her lips. He looked so... normal. Well, more like smoking hot, but she expected some kind of dump, or some greasy repair shop, not Greek sculpture level abs. The boy should come with a warning! She was a sucker for bad boys, but had she gotten so bad that she was now considering a fucking convict? What if he was a murderer or something??

shit!

???

someone's coming

gotta hide my phone

talk soon

Be careful! 🙏🏻

Her ice cream, forgotten on the coffee table, had turned to soup.

What had she gotten herself into?

#lovelink #damien jones #kitty and the jailbird #austin russo #counterpart

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monchikyun · 4 years ago

Text

XIX. never let me go

Connor would love nothing more than to just initiate stasis and enjoy the current moment, the same way Gavin does. Seemingly at peace, the man clings to his body like the android is his favourite teddy-bear. His heart-rate is steady, breathing is even. No nightmares are raging behind those closed eyes, and Connor can’t help but feel a bit jealous. Not of Gavin, specifically, but people in general. People who have the ability to sleep and let themselves be carried to a world of their mind’s own creation. Sure, it might not always be a pleasant experience, but no matter what one’s brain decides to show its owner, they still have the ability to escape the reality of their waking life. Connor’s version of a shut-eye is nothing like the one in which humans get to lose themselves. When he enters his so-called sleep-mode, everything just… stops existing to him. It’s more like a small, temporary death. He can’t believe that several months ago he wished to never leave that state, to be allowed to interrupt himself from living, permanently.

Not just then, though. It’s not like he didn’t hold his gun close to his then active LED only days before the start of December. It’s not like he still doesn’t fantasise about the sweet embrace of the eternal void at times when there's nothing or no one to distract him.

Like now. Although he technically has a company right next to him, accumulating their mutual heat, he senses he’s missing out on something important. Due to Connor being a machine, there are many things they won’t be able to do together, and he thinks that it’s fine, that he doesn’t have to try and force himself to adapt his being to that of his partner’s. Gavin wouldn’t most likely appreciate it if Connor went ahead and got himself some of the new updates that have been designed to make android appear more organic anyway.

He quite likes his own body, likes that he doesn’t have to waste money that he doesn’t have on food and other necessities he can function without.

Gavin shifts, though almost imperceivably, still, he strokes the side of his face, relishing in the warm tickling of his breath against his bare neck. As he’s now, all safe and almost tranquil, all he can contemplate about is their possible future. His own demise hasn’t even crossed his mind. It hasn’t done so in a while, maybe not since their first proper hug. Having a close, nurturing relationship is one of the healthiest things one can do for themselves, he is well aware of this fact, but that doesn’t mean that all his previous doubts are suddenly gone.

They haven’t even talked about what they wanted to call each other. To Connor, the title of a best friend is more than enough. He doesn’t need anything else. Maybe he’d like it, but it’s far from being a priority. Things are near perfect as they are. As long as they’re together… a condition which presents the biggest issue. The ugly truth that he’s been trying to hide from.

His entire mental stability depends on the presence of one person. He realises that’s wrong and probably dangerous, still, he doesn’t care. Why shouldn’t he rely on someone for happiness, isn’t that what humans have done since the beginning of their time on Earth? Seek out company and with that, reassurance?

Connor is no different. He just needs someone to stay close, and the right person just happens to be his irritable partner.

He wants to say that he’s certain that Gavin won’t ever let him go, but how can he be, really. Anything can happen. The man can die tomorrow and then what would Connor do. Look for another company like a dog that has lost its master? No, he thinks himself pathetic enough that he would just give up on everything, including any and all socialisation. The pathway towards leaving this bane of existence would be wide open to him, and he would be more than willing to step on it. It has been terrifying enough seeing the possible funereal of his soulmate and now he’s back on a similar track of thoughts. He should be used to it by now, to his inner unrest and all the gunk that comes with it, but he still can’t keep calm, not even a semblance of it. He lets himself spiral down to the horror-infested basement of his mind too easily, and getting himself out is all but simple.

Luckily, there is help available right beside him, currently beginning to stir lightly in his arms. Maybe he could make it into a valid excuse for waking him up.

“Gavin.” He starts with a quiet whisper, not enough to disturb even the lightest of sleepers.

The man mumbles something that has little to do with any words known to men and takes a breath through his nose, a sign that his first attempt might have been successful after all.

“Are you still asleep?” Connor dares to increase the volume of his voice, hoping to make his awakening as pleasant as could be, while not appearing to be the selfish one who would interrupt his well-needed rest just because he feels a bit sad. Or scared. Panicked, perhaps. He can’t really tell, emotions are not really his area of expertise. He just knows that he can’t focus on anything but the turmoil of bleak images overwhelming his entire self. There are tears forming in his eyes, his first natural response to everything that reminds him of the finality of death. He really is weak, isn’t he. A weak little robot not coming to terms with the concept that is the circle of life.

“You tryin’ to suffocate me?” comes a small, breathless question, bringing him back to the grungy motel room that has become their safe haven for these past several days.

He can’t relate the words to anything that’s presently happening, at least not for a couple of seconds. Then he notices that he has been clutching Gavin to his own body using too much strength without a conscious choice to do so. He immediately releases the struggling man, giving him a needed space to catch his breath. The loss of direct contact makes him almost shiver with something unidentifiable, like there’s ice forming on those places that were being warmed by human touch. His eyes are darting everywhere but his friend, hands gripping the sheets like he needs to hold onto something lest he floats away. The unspoken apology stuck in his throat, stubbornly refusing to get out of there.

It's not the first time he goes through something like this, though there is usually no one around to witness this inconvenient state of mind. He isn’t sure what to call this, not sure if it really matters.

Right now, he's just immensely grateful that there is someone with him. He loathes having to deal with it on his own.

"What's wrong?" the man in question asks, careful gentleness embedded in his voice. He places his palm on Connor's shoulder ever so tentatively, like the android has suddenly lost his integral structure. If he has, he'd need every bit of support to rebuild it back. A small touch like that is not nearly enough. But he takes what he can get.

"More visions?"

"I… I don't know. Just… I think telling you about the accident broke something in me. I can't… I can't stop picturing all the worst scenarios and… it hurts. I keep preconstructing both mine and your death and it’s making me go crazy."

Gavin puts his arm around his shoulders before he finishes talking. He immediately leans into the contact, being glad that for once he is able to abstain from crying.

"Maybe you weren't ready to-"

"No, no I'm glad I told you. It's not that."

He assumes time has little to do with his current situation. It's been almost a year and the pain still drowns him. Not always, but as soon as he's about to forget, something grabs his leg and pulls him deep under.

He gathers his courage and pulls Gavin into yet another embrace. He really must have been touch-starved, only now getting his supply of what would be the android equivalent of oxytocin.

"I'm sorry to say this but I came to the conclusion that…" he pauses to second guess his confession, only to decide that revealing this part of himself would only be advantageous to his healing process in the long run.

"I need you."

It surprises him how easily those words have come out. How it doesn't make Gavin's body flinch in the slightest.

"I realise that it's not right nor fair, but-"

"Shhhh," he places his hand on Connor's mouth, like that would stop him from vocalising his sentiments. Still, it takes him off guard and he obliges, "Shut up, Con."

This time it's Gavin who does the squeezing.

"I get it, I get it." His reassurance strokes his soul and drapes it in budding calmness.

“I’m never letting you go, I promise.” He isn’t sure what exactly Gavin means by that, but it still turns the unsightly pain inside of him into something less so. Something he would dare call beautiful.

“Hell, you’re only a one-year-old, of course you need someone to look after you.” That manages to elicit a chuckle out of him, which in turns makes Gavin place a sweet kiss on his cheek.

Connor thought that he’s given the man all the love that he has before he finds out that feelings aren’t a constant.

Love always changes, always shifts around. In his case, it’s growing like a garden blessed by spring’s good weather. He’s one of the lucky ones, ones who are able to keep its light-source near.

It’s hard not to smile now when he finally understands. And why wouldn't he, really, when the world sits within his arms.

-----

it seems this fic is 50% two broken idiots in bed thinking, occasionally talking, and when we’re lucky, snuggling

#convin #aconvinnewyear #low-temperature burn #another late night thoughts chapter #i don't think I can ever write something else :D #sorry if you're getting tired of these #connie has a panic attack >:{

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