#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[northopalshore]

Hello love!!🐉

Would love to see your take on stelliums in solar return charts! Thank you for giving us so much knowledge about astro <3

LOVE YOUR BLOG. PERIOD.

♀ Hello! Thank you for your support ♡

Stelliums in the

Solar Return Chart

Stelliums are always a sign that this year is going to naturally draw you /force you into focusing on that aspect of your life (where the stellium is). There will be a lot of changes, & development which also means this year will be very significant for you growth wise. Usually, also points to a "milestone" being achieved. Though it doesn't have to be that way.

Note: planets or asteroids in retrograde can signify things from the past resurfacing, a time for reevaluations, & revelations to take place. You are going to close a chapter of you life that doesn't serve you anymore.

🍧 In the signs & the houses ࿐

Aries @ the 1st house

A lot of your focus & events surrounding this year will be related to yourself, whether through making more direct decisions, being more stubborn or selfish (whether in a good way or bad). You may feel quicker to react to things, quick to anger, quick to defend yourself. Things around you may seem very hectic and fast paced. Headaches may be quite prominent this year. You may find yourself participating in a lot of competitions as well, or competition in general is a reoccurring theme throughout your year.

Taurus @ the 2nd house

Money, work, aesthetics and your home life will be impactful this year. You may start gaining a lot of income, or focus on gaining said income in the first place. You may be more focused on the things you choose to buy, and more possessive of things that you own. You might be transforming the way you look or even reshape your idea of what you truly value, whether that'd be material or through your connections. Spending a lot of money is very likely as well. You may start writing this year too. Starting a small business, or talking/singing more.

Gemini @ the 3rd house

So, this year is when you will be blessed with a lot of creativity in terms of writing. You may have the urge to communicate more or to express your thoughts, fantasies, creativity and emotions through words; whether that'd be through writing or talking. If Neptune is here, you may start writing fanfiction or even create something like songs or a draft for your books for example. If Pluto is here, you will be transforming they way that you speak or write, or express yourself. Taking a more methodical approach. You could start having a very online presence as well.

Ex: I had a 3rd house Stellium in my 2019 SRC. This was the year I started working on my journals, they were written with the intention to give to my FS one day as a "other side pov". Sort of like the Midnight Sun to Twilight lmao. I definitely yapped a lot (I finished 3 books that year).

Cancer @ the 4th house

There may be something very significant happening in your home life, whether in your house or your parents house. There could be an additional family member for example, or your parents may decide to do a lot of activities together this year. There could also be big fights within the household depending on the sign or planets present (almost guaranteed if Scorpio is here). You may spend a lot of time at home, or with your family this year. You may also get easily sentimental too.

Leo @ the 5th house

This year may be filled with creative endeavors. You could be more extroverted this year, meeting new friends or acquaintances, there may few a few romantic interest for you this year as well, though they may not be that serious i.e crushes, flings.

Ex: I remember the last time I had a 5th house Stellium, I was either in a creative competition or at home drawing all day & night lmaoo it was in Capricorn too. I also met my first and only crush that year (although we never got in a relationship, we only met during the competition and never exchanged numbers). He was a prince charming like boy. He was really nice to me & playful but very gentle. Also, I heard he played the violin damnn. That was a long time ago though. I don't think I'll see him again.

Virgo @ the 6th house

This year, you will be very immersed in your work. It could mean your studies, your career or even a passion project. Whatever it is, this year is the year you'll actually feel "involved" or connected to what you're doing. Taking your work more seriously, trying to reach certain goals you might be itching to obtain. People may look to you for help or guidance quite often this year. You may be the "reference" person of they year. It seems like everything you do it right, or praised for some reason. Especially if Venus is here.

Libra @ the 7th house

There's going to be a lot of things going on within your relationships & close circles but also within business partnerships. It's not just strictly about love. You may be more attached to your friends this year or the people around you i.e spending more time with them or having a significant arc with them for example. You may encounter specific person or company or "muse" that may push you to grow or realize something as well.

Scorpio @ the 8th house

It's likely going to be one of the most painful years of your life (at least until it happens again). Your whole world may feel like it's falling apart and there is nothing you can do. I feel like we all go through this at least once during our adolescent years; a huge shift of perspective happens. Suddenly the world is much gloomier than usual, and now you're able to see the darkness of it all lmao.

In adulthood however, it's likely that you may feel like you have nothing going in your favor. Death after death, failure after failure. This is likely a "rock bottom" stage. Though as they say, the only good thing about hitting rock bottom, is that there is nowhere else to go but up. If you have been putting any "awakenings" or have been in denial of something especially related to you ego, then this year will be especially excruciating for you.

Ex: I had another 8th house Stellium in 2017 & 2018 (two years straight waow). It was in Sagittarius then in pisces . This time, I started really dividing into astrology, a lot of my time was consumed with deeply challenging & introspective thoughts. I began diving into the metaphysical world more. It was also the year I got the most nightmares & dreams about my FS for some reason. I started being "haunted" by his presence. But during this time, I was a massive tsundere lmaoo. I just didn't understand the significance it had, so it drove my logical thinking into a spiral.

Sagittarius @ the 9th house

This is one of those years where education is your tour de force. It may seem like your brain just grew twice its size, I'm kidding lmaooo. You may be keen to start learning something new this year, whether it'd be a language, a course or through religion. Higher studies are highlighted but if you aren't interested in education, then it's likely concerning expansion in general. Look at what sign is here for more context. The core of this SRC placement however, is to challenge the way you have been living before this. Shaking things up by adding new things in your life whether it'd be a new routine, a hobby or even just the way you think.

Ex: I had an 8th house Stellium in 2013. That was when I moved houses & schools for the 3rd - 4th time I think? It was in a different town, closer to my grandmother (mother's side).

Capricorn @ the 10th house

Ding ding ding. You've guessed it! This year is going to be very impactful for your career. You may feel quick to tire this year, and new competition may arise in your work field, you may be working on a passion project, betting all your chips on the table. Fire will be placed under your feet, and you may feel like everything has to happen now. Working and expanding yourself. You will be perfecting your craft, and gaining recognition for your hard work. You may sharpen your strategies for growth or for future plans this year, taking on more responsibility

Aquarius @ the 11th house

There will be a lot of shake ups for you this year, it could be exciting changes; gaining popularity or online recognition. Finally starting that project you've been holding up for months or even years. The one that's been itching your brain. Though, it can also mean that your friends or your peers will have a substantial role this year. You could be gaining more friends, going through many friendships or friend groups, working on team projects for example.

Pisces @ the 12th house

Similar to the 8th house, where it means you're going to be put through a lot of challenges this year, specifically emotional loss and loneliness. You may feel incredibly hopeless this year which could come from your sense of being alienated or just at a different place mentally when compared to your peers. You may feel easily exhausted, hurt and betrayed. Though it might also mean a year of being kept in the dark about something. Usually comes with a few losses that you'll experience, whether it'd be friendships, family members, lovers or even death. Though it also means that you're going to be more aligned with your spiritual side.

It's not all bad however, this year will teach you to let go of the things that have haunted you up to this point, to explore uncharted territory whether that'd be physically, mentally or emotionally. Travel may be prominent this year as well, but moving specifically is more significant.

@northopalshore

@northopalshore SRC 2024 all rights reserved.

[thoughtspresso]

Oshi No Ko was about Arima Kana all along.

And I think there’s a real possibility she may die at the end.

Or be placed in the way of grave danger.

I was reading some AquKane shippers say something about how they don’t understand AquaKana, and why the writers and directors keep clearly pushing Kana towards Aqua when they barely share any chemistry. Whereas, in their belief, his relationship with Akane is more honest, deeper, whatever. I’m not here to argue about that. But I get where they’re coming from. And the simple explanation is this:

It’s because this whole story was written for Arima Kana.

I’ve seen some Youtubers talk about how this whole story was meant to be fulfillment for Ruby/Sarina’s dream to become the next great Idol, something about Amaterasu favoring her.

And that’s near what I thought of it. But I really think if the God of Entertainment wanted to bless a child with cancer a second life as the world’s great idol, they’d also give her a great singing voice, y’know?

Spoilers for the manga, of course as we go along on this explanation. So anime onlies, get caught up before you start reading me ramble.

Here we go:

1. Arima Kana is the embodiment of Amaterasu, not Ruby.

Or at least, Amaterasu’s appointed representative, or her favorite daughter.

To give you a run-down of some of the core Shinto/Japanese Mythology that is important for the story, the Creator God Izanaki had three children:

Amaterasu, Goddess of the Sun.

Tsukuyomi, the Moon.

Susanoo, the Storm.

The story goes that Amaterasu and Susanoo had a competition about who could create better gods. So Amaterasu took Susanoo’s Totsuka-no-Tsurugi* (longsword) and split it into three, from which she birthed the three Munakata goddesses.

And woncha knowit, there are three great actresses born in that year?

*A reminder that Kana plays the character Tsurugi, which literally just means Sword. And Akane’s character Saya-hime just literally means Sheath or Scabbard Princess.

In this bet, Amaterasu got clever with the rules and won on a technicality. Susanoo went on a rampage, destroyed Amaterasu’s ricefield, and flayed Amaterasu’s favorite divine horse*, and then threw its body at her loom.

*The name Arima is spelled with the Kanji of Horse & Exist/Live. 

Amaterasu, in her grief, flees into a cave, believed to be Amano Iwato cave, right in the town of Takachiho, Amamiya Gorou’s hometown, and the death place of  Tendouji Sarina.

The being that draws Amaterasu out of there was the Goddess of the Dawn, known also as the Goddess of the Revelry & Arts, a being that Aqua says he knows well, and believes there’s a grain of truth to:

And how does Ame-no-Uzume draw Amaterasu out of her grief?

By throwing an absolute rager, and dancing really wildly that it catches her attention and makes all the gods around them laugh so hard. Just like:

Ame-no-Uzume will later on marry a diety who tried to block her passage before, Sarutohiko, who in Ise is worshipped as the god who illuminates the world.

That’s some divinity-level AquaKana shipping right there.

Just like how Aka Akasaka wrote the story of Kaguya-sama: Love Is War about two lovers who couldn’t be together just like in the myth of Kaguya, but having his characters overcome all odds to defy divine fate, I do believe that apart from the parallels to the mythology like he did in Kaguya-sama, there is very literal divine intervention this time in Oshi No Ko.

I think what’s happening is that the gods, particularly Amaterasu and Susanoo are quarelling again about who could create better gods, just like before, but now more of whose favored child will shine the brightest and be worshipped by the most humans. But just like last time, Susanoo may have been enraged, especially at the sexual assault of his chosen Hikaru Kamiki, that he possessed him with a corrupting force that urges him to destroy shining stars before they reach their peak, hence the murders of Himekawa Airi, Hoshino Ai**, and Katayose Yura.

Which by the way, the name Hikaru means Radiant Light!

And Hoshino means Field of Stars!

Whether it’s because Amaterasu is angry that every daughter she sends to earth is slaughtered by Susanoo’s chosen, or just because she wants to win their competition, she appoints Ame-no-Uzume to assist in safeguarding her new favored one from Kamiki’s clutches. Her new favored one being Arima Kana.

And therefore, Ame-no-Uzume takes the souls of two motherless humans who had passed before they could shine and sent them to become Hoshino Ai’s twin children. It was all anyway happening in her territory of Takachiho at the most opportune time.

Ame-no-Uzume is also known as The Goddess of Dance, as well as The Great Pursuader. And wouldn’t you know, that’s exactly the gifts that the Hoshino Twins received.

An energetic performer who takes the stage with dance:

And a deceptive, persuasive, extremely believable actor, who:

fooled his own sister into believing she had been rejected from an audition

pretended to scout an idol from a competing agency to research them

get Director Gotanda to raise him and train him

make Akane not just date him, but follow him down a destructive path

convince Kana and Mem to join IchigoPro

impersonate Pieyon for several days straight

Anyway, I truly, truly believe that unbeknownst to Aqua, his true mission is just to keep drawing Kana out of her darkness until she shines the brightest. Which is what he keeps doing anyway:

2. The Timing of the whole Oshi No Ko plot is aligned with Arima Kana’s rise to unprecedented stardom.

The story of Ai Hoshino’s pregnancy and meeting of Gorou Amamiya in a quaint hospital occurs at the beginning of Arima Kana’s life, just after she is born.

She meets Aqua Hoshino around age 4, already talented, and already extremely arrogant which could have easily been the demise of her career. But meeting Aqua and seeing his acting was a necessary wake-up call for her, that it brings her to tears. She never forgets this experience that she brought that lesson with her to her adulthood: that she can’t be satisfied and keep working harder, and to be a better communicator with her colleagues. At their first point of contact, Aqua already becomes the reason why Arima Kana’s acting career survives the slump.

They meet again in high school, when Arima Kana has one acting job in a lackluster production of Sweet Today. The ratings had plummeted, if not for the fact that Aqua came onto the set to draw out the best acting Arima Kana could deliver. After this, Arima receives much more respect and recognition from her colleagues in the industry beyond just being cast to bring some legitimacy to their production.

It’s because of Aqua and Ruby that Kana joins IchigoPro’s Idol Division, and her career is reborn anew. Such that, even after quitting B-Komachi, Arima states she never regretted the decision to join, because otherwise the career of Arima Kana would have been already over. 

It’s because of Aqua’s presence that Arima trains to become better and better as an idol. Aqua kept drawing out the light from Kana’s eyes, to the point that it catches the attention of the crowd who previously had no interest in her.

It’s because of her experience as an idol that she regains the confidence and sense of greed necessary to grab the attention of the audience when on stage, such that even Akane recognizes this change in her when Arima takes the stage as Tsurugi for the 2.5 Adadptation of Tokyo Blade.

And it’s because of all of these that she captures the attention of award-winning Director Masanori Shima, who lines up some roles for her when her acting schedule had dried up. It’s once again because of Kana’s dedication towards Aqua that Shima D finds her so interesting that he was most willing to promise her the best role possible.

It was as if Ame-no-Uzume-no-Mikoto appointed Aqua and Ruby to come draw Arima Kana out of her Cave, and bring the Sun out again, just like how the deity drew out Amaterasu.

If you think about the title of the show, Oshi No Ko, it literally means The Favorite Child. God’s favored child. Arima Kana had been born chosen by Amaterasu from the very beginning. And Ame-no-Uzume is sending Aqua and Ruby to aid on this quest.

Which explains why it seems like there had been a mission communicated to Aqua from the very beginning. And why Ai was never going to be reincarnated at all.

You would think that if The Crow Girl, which we assume is the divine guide Yatagarasu, was communicating with Aqua about his revenge plan or helping him find Kamiki, that Aqua would hold a more favorable relationship with The Crow whenever it appears to give advice, no?

But it’s exactly the opposite. Because The Crow is guiding him into something that is different from his personal goal that Aqua doesn’t understand.

And this is where I think Arima Kana could be put in danger.

3. Arima Kana is Hikaru Kamiki’s next target.

There were earlier theories that thought Kurokawa Akane was the one to die next, because of what people have now learned of Kamiki’s serial murderer profile targeting big celebrities before their peak, and because Akane had received a bouquet of white roses from him when she won an award.

The chapter when it was expected to happen was a fake-out from Aka Akasaka, and some people think it’s still possible that she’s the target. In fact, I keep seeing recent theory videos who discount Kana and say she’s “the safest”. Hah! If only!

The scenes with Shima D weren’t just a mere plot point to bring scandal to Arima’s name, and threaten her career and life enough that it pushes Aqua to reveal his mother’s secret in exchange. But it’s there because this is the upward path for Arima Kana. So far, the only people who have witnessed her dazzling star power have been fans of the Sweet Today manga, idol otakus, and people who attended Tokyo Blade. That’s not really masterpiece-of-the-century, performing-at-the-dome level. None of these gigs have placed her center stage in what could be Film of the Year, and a Best Actress spot. Now, the chance is here, and it’s real:

I think, The 15-Year-Lie will attempt to draw out Hikaru Kamiki, or that Aqua intends to reveal himself in the movie looking like him, and reveal the identity of his father.

But I also think what would happen is that they would be unsuccessful at taking him down completely. Instead, from the movie, he would be interested in Arima Kana, and target her through the course of her Shima D movie, and plan to kill her before an important awards night.

Alternatively, now that Kana is changing her focus to film, she may consider moving agencies, and ask Frill Shiranui about her agent. And if we’re right, she is likely represented by Kamiki Productions.

Either way, Kamiki will pay attention to her and try to kill her just before she reaches her highest.

But I don’t think Arima Kana will die. I think instead of being saved by Aqua, it’ll be Kana who takes Kamiki down. Echoing back to her getting mad at Aqua for thinking that avoiding her was protecting her, and Aqua believing that Kana doesn’t need help since she’s strong enough to take care of herself.

And then maybe, it’s Arima Kana who draws Aqua out of the darkness too.

And, just like with Kaguya and Shirogane Miyuki, Aka Akasaka is once again writing a story about two people who will defy a fate of divine tragedy, and come out of it being more truthful with each other than they’ve been with themselves all along.

[theresthespark]

Okay Lestat is canonically a Scorpio and Louis a Libra which are both painfully accurate. I wanted to play Estelle and share my astrology headcanons

Claudia:

Leo rising – the hair, the general slayage, her association with yellow aka the sun

Aries sun – she’s so bold plus libra and Aries are sister signs so they share traits that present different which feels right for Louis and her’s kinship

Taurus moon – not prone enough to over emotionality to be a water sign but not overly practical in the way the other earth signs are. Very stubborn and does canonically enjoy beauty and luxury. Also if you know a Taurus I feel like it just makes sense

Madeleine:

Virgo Rising – She just gives demure when we first meet her and yet no bullshit either. Virgos just seems very put together almost unassuming which is funny since every Virgo I know is crazy lol

Aquarius sun – the decisions she’s made in her life feel the best suited for an Aquarian. Also her talking to Armand? That woman stopped giving a fuck about what everyone else is doing years ago

Cancer moon – Almost did Scorpio here but her loyalty and intensity didn’t feel suited there. Cancer still has some of Scorpio’s snap but its homey and soft too. I also can’t see Claudia gravitating towards someone similar to Lestat at all lol

(Bonus: suspected Aries Venus. The intensity of her!! Her directness when she cares! How she chases life and joy!)

Armand:

Pisces Rising – those big ole eyes are a big marker for this one. Also Pisces have big baby energy despite being the oldest sign which feels perfect for him

Gemini Sun – Please what else could he be? There’s the 27 different faces but more so, the love for technology and knowledge, the urge to always strategize. The near inability to ground into his emotions. The perpetual anxiety. Also Geminis are so funny without even trying but that’s just me

Capricorn Moon – Caps are ruled by Saturn which is in short a struggle bus placement. Fits well with the forever 27 thing (stuck in perpetual Saturn return) and his tendency to self flagellate. Also it being represent by the devil card in tarot. Iykyk

Daniel:

Capricorn rising – When you first meet him he comes off quite no bullshit in a way that only makes sense for Capricorn to me. Also fits for the workaholic tendencies (our risings tend to be a truest to self energy aka us at our best). Also feel that may be what draws Armand to him hehehe

Sagittarius sun – If you look up famous Sags all of them are silly goobers (and lowkey problematic 💀). Like him being a Sag makes SO much sense to me for San Francisco. Only a Sag would make that many dumb decisions just bc it was a vibe lmaoo

Aries moon – Thinking about Eric’s comment about Daniel not taking kindly to bullies. Also how similar him and Claudia feel to me I feel they’d share some major signage too

(Bonus: Gemini Mercury bc his got the gift of the gab, the quick wit)

Louis: (i couldn’t resist finishing their big three)

Libra rising – Ruled by Venus, Helen of Troy, Malena coded. What else could he be really?

Libra sun – Painfully canon

Scorpio moon – With how he talks about himself and his life versus how he moves through the world it makes perfect sense to me. So much emotion but also a lot of passion all bottled unless in the right company. Also he would loooove SZA (plus plus you’re more likely to become heavily attached to people who’s sun is your moon)

Lestat:

Aquarius rising – Leo’s sister sign (perfect for him and Claudia’s dynamic). She’s a rebel she does her own thing she does not give a flying fuck about the rest of yall. Only an Aquarius could be responsible for the events in Queen of the Damned

Scorpio sun – Again debilitatingly canon

Leo moon – Do I even need to explain it? Pull any TVL passage if you want an explanation lmaooo

I hope you enjoyed my analyzes I love astrology and would kill to get a proper birth chart for these characters. The house placements! The Aspects! The CHIRONS!! I need to chill

[mmmmalo]

forgive me if i'm conflating several different things here, but the idea that a cue ball - and by extension doc scratch - represents a cancerous trauma left by sexual assault was one of your earlier analyses wasn't it? the idea seems so ubiquitous to me now but i felt like a lot of people could benefit from revisiting it in the wake of that latest beyond canon update

Mm… like you said, you have my earlier analyses a little mixed up. And honestly my current take on the subject focuses more on how the problem of rape is leveraged towards transphobic ends in political discourse? So... perhaps not what you're looking for.

My old approach was to regard not the cue ball but the Green Sun as an emblem of trauma: for example, Rose talks with Jaspers atop a monolith of the Green Sun, when Jaspers's apparent drowning caused Rose's fear of water. Talking to Jaspers seemed to involve confronting that trauma, and the significance of that interaction transferred upon the Green Sun as a symbol. So later when Jade combines her dreamcorpse with Bec, Jadesprite's tearful inability to turn away from its searing light seemed to imply that fusing with Bec somehow awoke a traumatic memory that Jade was no longer able to suppress.

Various scenes led me to believe this was a memory of sexual assault: the dream sequence where Bec Noir creeps upon WV (who is in Jade's bed) and instigates some distressing fusion of their bodies, as the fire of the Green Sun Burns. The dream where Jade attacks Clubs Deuce (resulting in a DEAD GRANDPA SMACKDOWN in the waking world), only for CD to return later and attack Jade with an explosion of white foam (through which he implicitly continues to embody Grandpa). The point where Jade goes grimbark after spotting Jake's groin (as though it were a distressing trigger) and where Jade is, after again calling attention to the banana hammock, crushed beneath Jake's white hope explosion (which echos CD's shaving cream). I could go on.

But the above is all bait: Jade goes grimbark because the very notion of a man in panties is posed as the violent intrusion of the masculine upon the feminine, posed as rape. The hints of assault function as homophobic scaremongering, feminism of the trans-exclusive strain. Jade is afraid of lightning, which is posed as a masculine pneumatic intrusion into the inert feminine vessel -- which is to say, bringing Frankenstein/Jadesprite to life with a zap comes to represent rape, and the overwhelming urge is to REMOVE THE LIGHTNING, GET IT OUT GET IT OUT (the scene has visual reference to Aradiabot ripping her heart out following Equius's violation), hence Jadesprite's urge to die. Jade earlier displayed distaste for the pneuma via her always-ill-fated reader interactive sections: playing flute, selecting fruit, fighting (and in her own mind conversing with) Grandpa. Though ostensibly early, abstract indications of Jade's sensitivity to violation, these events also just display homophobia: blowing into wind instruments is a cocksucking joke inherited from Problem Sleuth, "fruit" means gay, Jade calls Grandpa a "bag of wind" because his cornball shit is gay (derogatory). It matters that Dirk is a Gay Guy who overwrote Jeanne Betancourt's voice for Pony Pals and now overwrites robot Rose's will on occasion because the story is satirizing a worldview wherein a "boy" adopting feminine characteristics is committing metaphysical rape.

The same goes for Doc Scratch: retroactively, he has the Handmaid locked up in a room because Caliborn got gender envy from the How To Draw Manga girl. Damara speaks in stilted staccato sentences for the same reason, it gives the impression that she is possessed by Lord English, that some insidious masculine force is speaking through her. Which again: transphobia. Or rather dysphoria, in this case, which was a major point of discussion in Openbound -- anxieties about internal and external reproach for expressing yourself abound, the imminent Rufioh/Horuss breakup represents bodily dysmorphia... I've talked about that elsewhere. The main point is illustrated by 583 of Problem Sleuth, where Nervous Broad (essentially a trans woman) looks into the mirror and sees a horrendous beast. This is why the Handmaid cannot escape Lord English: he is how she sees herself. The big bad of Homestuck, the embodiment of all that is foul of patriarchy, is an embodiment of transfeminine self-loathing, or more generally the picture of trans women that transmisogynists like to paint.

Vriska has a conversation with June about how she doesn't actually want to indulge her violent tendencies, how she thinks a life of peace could actually be the way to go. As she says all these, we are treated to a shot of Vriska's red boots crossed in such a way that a huge red X is imposed over her groin: this conversation is about dysphoria! Vriska implicitly declares violence and aggression to be phallic -- an association strengthen by the sexed roles of moirallegiance, in which women must sooth violent men. Elsewhere in the story, Vriska's seemingly inescapable violent tendencies are embodied by Doc Scratch -- therefore he is, in essence, Vriska's phallus, which she resents even as she is compelled to obey its directives.

There's actually a bit with Jake where the cue ball (or rather, a tower orb that resembles a cue ball) is used to represent a dick: "The space in your inventory is mainly hogged up by one incredibly huge thing. You guess you should get rid of it. But you can’t shake the feeling you might need it someday, and you don’t want to risk ditching it and be caught with your pants down later." As Spidergirl shoots her webbing on the floor nearby, Jake briefly considers losing the dick. That Doc Scratch's head is a nuclear bomb makes this motif coincide nicely with Jake's association with the irradiated dick of Doctor Manhattan (and Hulk), which as you've pointed out before was used in Watchmen to illustrate homophobic scaremongering.

Or hey, let's try to establish a new connection between Doc Scratch and Bec: perhaps epilogue!Jade's dog dick, was already present from the moment Jadesprite was born. Perhaps the anger Jade feels toward this newly formed phallic woman (who she calls a pansy) is informed by the contempt she expressed for fursuits, and how the people within them are dumb to think that makes them real animals -- a transphobic barb followed in short order by more slander for Grandpa, a hunter who skins animals and places the pelts by armor and portraits of women. Perhaps all this drama is condensed on page 6630, where Jake's big gay Hope bubble crushes Jade's green fireball, forming a portrait of Doc Scratch.

Perhaps we should pronounce "Doc Scratch" with an English accent, so that it becomes "Dog's Crotch".

[salemontrial]

My (probably unfinished) official list of everything I love about the trailer💫

- "How's it going :))-" SWERVED. ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ GOT FUCKING S W E R V E D-

- Nora looks like she's going to stab Alex with her high heel. Also she's so pretty. Xjakcjd

- "you've done some pretty stupid things in your life, but this-" "Takes the cake? :DD-"

- The way Henry looks at them when they're lying on the floor covered in cake. It's like he's restraining himself from strangling Alex with his own suit jacket for the sole purpose of not worsening the scandal.

- "HENRY. SHOVED. ME.😡🥺" "An urge I currently share."

- Ellen in her pantsuit.. hey Ellen👉👈

- Alex is looking for ways to escape the room when she says the words "damage control" he fucking knows-

- THEY. GOT. LIL NAS X. ON THE FUCKING SOUND TRACK. Oh I p r a y they got the rights to Get Low I p r a y.

- ALEX'S FACE WHILE ZAHRA IS BRIEFING HIM HES SO DRAMATIC

- Im sorry guys henry is so fine alexander isnt going to be the only one thirsting over henry for the entire 2 hours/jjj

- That FUCKING handshake in the park. I can see the veins in their hands they are g r i p p i n g-

- these faces this is a point.

- "My NDA is bigger than yours, I want you to know that." "You're wearing Lifts. I know that too, sweetheart." -H e a d t u r n--- HES SO FLOORED FJSNF-

- HENRY'S LITTLE MOUTH QUIRK AFTER HE SAYS THAT

- I CAN SEE THE KEY NECKLACE. I CAN S E E IT BLESS THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT SHOVING HIM IN A LOWCUT SHIRT-

- "You better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency" ZAHRA HAS THE BEST LINES AND ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES.

- Alex faffing about with his hair via his phone camera before the interview thats my b O Y-

- Henry slides over the box of cornettos so hard like thats the only hostile act hes allowed to parttake in

- To the person who theorized in the comments of one of my posts that Alex was going to do a little shoulder punch in the interview scene i am going to draw you a little firstprince fanart-/hj

- Because that was so funny and so fucking cute henrys fucking face through that whole interaction was just. He looks like he's actively trying to dissociate from the situation fjsjfj-

- The cancer ward🥺🥺

- Alex's u g l y ass suit at the new years gala... its such a gross jacket guys Im sorry this is what happens when you dont have jUNE TO MICROMANAGE HIS WARDROBE-

- Alex putting his arm around Henry and Henry smiling to himself because he's probably got the most insane case of butterflies

- I'm marrying the lighting director of this movie.

- GUYS GUYS SHUT UP ITS THE KISS.

- HENRY'S FACE BEFORE HE GIVES THE "Christ, you are as thick as it gets" LINE IS SO FUNNY. QUESTIONING WHY HE EVER WENT AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A DUMBASS

- THEY D O N T KISS LIKE THEYD RATHER GO DOWN A RAZOR WATERSLIDE🎉🎉🎉🎉💫💞💞🏳️‍🌈/GEN

- He does Henry's "Oh shit" face so w e l l-

- ALEX'S STETSON EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME

- KARAOKE SCENE KARAOKE SCENE I SEE HENRY AT THE MICROPHONE

- Guys hes g o i n g to do the thing he does with the bottle I just know it oh my god

- "Get O V E R yourself your majesty -p i l l o w-" "It's your royal HIGHNESS -p i l l o w-" "OHoho-"

- The polo match sjsjf. Same alwx-/J

- The little new voters goal thingy poster thats so cute actually-

- The pride flag in the back of the campaign office

- Henry texting while he's getting the royal preening sjcj

- never thought id cry just hearing henry say he misses alex out loud-

- THEYRE NOT SANITIZING IT TO MAKE IT PALATABLE/POS

- HENRY IN THE CLOSET I AM GOING TO SCREAM-

- "If anyone sees you leave this hotel I will brexit your head from your body....... Your royal highness." I LOVE HERRRRRR

- IF YOU FEEL FOREVER ABOUT HIM. AND THE AND THE PANNING TO THEM IN BED WITH THE SOFT LAMP LIGHT. AND THEYRE SO SOFT. AND AND AND AND. UEUE

- "Do you love him?" "What difference would it make if I did?"

- Bea's voice is so pretty sobs..

- It's always the blond autistic boys in the blue hoodies I swear to god/lh

- Theyre just chilling in their robes🥺🥺🥺

- DAVID!!!!!!!😭😭😭💞

- "Prince Henry belongs to Britain" and what if i sobbed.

- THEM HOLDING HANDS SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.

- NO SHUT UP NO GO AWAY HENRY CRYING... I TRUST HIM WITH HENRY'S HEAVIER SCENES NOW

- THEYRE AT THE LAKEHOUSE😭😭😭

- "It's like there's a rope attached to my chest and it keeps pulling me towards you"

- THE ASS GRAB. ALEXANDER GABRIEL CLAREMONT-DIAZ

- "The night is young, ma✨" <- said as if he isn't currently groping the prince of England's ass

- She sees right fucking through him sjcjsj

CONCLUSION: I will eat my hat. The movie looks really really really fucking good, it looks spectacular and I am so excited for it. I trust them. I'm only SLIGHTLY mad they barely had Nora in it and I'm only SLIGHTLY bitter at cutting June and Luna. But I am an optimist and I will focus on the good which is that they're doing the characters incredible justice, and if I see one person try to deny their chemistry I will A Clockwork Orange their ass to this trailer for days. Because That Is Alex and Henry. That's them in front of my eyes and I think they're in very good hands and this is the most coherent thing I can write I'm still crying-/srs

[classiqals]

{thomas doherty, 27, cismale, he/him} we are so glad to see you safe, KING ROLAND STUART of SCOTLAND! it’s dangerous out in the world these days, but i hear that you are RECKLESS and LOYAL TO A FAULT enough to handle it. just don’t let your DEMANDING NATURE bring you down! stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING HAUNTED BY A GHOST AND IT'S GIVEN YOU INSOMNIA.

BASICS;

nicknames: ro

sexuality:  bisexual

relationship: devoutly single

date of birth:  july 22nd

zodiac sign:  cancer/leo cusp baby

moral alignment: chaotic good (?)

hobbies: gardening, writing, hiking, camping under the stars, horse riding, fishing, swimming, anything to do with the outdoors, archery, storytelling, folklore.

dislikes: ghosts, witchcraft, conflict, excessive rain, broken promises.

politics/loyalty: he was not raised to think as a leader, for a nation... so instead, his loyalty, politics, and decisions are most guided by his heart. he is loyal to his loved ones above all else.

inspirations: tba

DETAILS;

as a child, roland clung to his mother's leg and listened to her tales of dark fantasy with wide, dreaming eyes - taking to the moors before lessons, and never able to sit through a full reading. he would take to his journals, inspired by the folklore of the highlands, creating new tales from his own mind, and dabbling in a world of gruesome fantasy.

he was able to get away with such whimsy for a spell; the youngest of four, when was he to ever lead a kingdom? it was not by his parent's urging, but that of his peers, to finally grow up into a young man rather than a boy with his head in the clouds.

so he did; he grew, becoming a fine rider, a fine hunter, a fine dancer. a son that the stuart's were proud of, even if his habit of journaling fantastical thoughts && stories never quite left him. stolen afternoons up a tree could be kept secret, scribbling away in a world far from his own.

there was much to be said for the childhood he lived; he was not unlike his siblings in any way, each one as full of life as he, and he aspired to be like each one of them in different ways. always he felt close to their mother, her beautiful mind, and would trust anything she told him.

even if it involved the mythical. maybe she believed her stories more than she let on - she taught roland of special herbs, of ways to prepare them, secrets for curing illnesses and heartache. she taught him songs to recite when he was afraid, shapes to draw in the dirt for protection. he never told a soul. it was their secret, something for the two of them to have alone.

but now - she is gone, and he is king. it was never meant to go this way; he was never meant to find a seat of power, and he was not trained for this. his mother taught him love, and love oh, how it was a fearful concept now. love could tear apart everything his parents had built; it could be their downfall, but he cannot help it. if the siblings choose to make a vow against love, then he would honor it, for them.

for their safety, roland would do anything. he did not ask for this life, nor did he want it; but he rose to claim it. a promise was made to his mother, and he intends to keep it.... keep them together, roland, no matter what. in this world, all you have is your family. if they work together, everything will be fine. but can they work together?

since his mother's passing, with the sudden pressure of the duties of a king, roland has taken to sleepless nights and sleeping potions when desperate. dreams haunt him; he sees shadows in the corners of rooms; it feels he is watched from afar. his mother taught him to believe in spirits; and now, roland fears they dabbled too deeply in the mythical. perhaps he was being haunted - or hunted - by something int he beyond? perhaps the promises he gave when their hands were in the soil, meant more than he knew.

[groofz]

PART I: "Midlife Crisis for Dummies"

How would I describe a midlife crisis, in a nutshell? Complacency seeps in, slow and silent. Before you know it, you hate your job, your wife, yourself, and your life. The everyday routine that once brought you peace has turned on you. It sneaks into your home, screws your wife, and burns down the house with the kids inside—all in slow motion, right in front of you. And somehow, you've forgotten how to even find words for the feeling—not even to yourself. It's not like anyone would listen, anyway; you don't speak their language anymore, and they can't see you at all.

Halloween just passed, but that's not why I sketched the Invisible Man. I sketched him because I'm living through a three-year midlife crisis that started back in 2021 and hasn't let up. I used to think the "midlife crisis" was a myth. I mean, what could possibly top puberty? Many of us barely survived that as it is! But this feels a lot like puberty, minus the zits and hormone spikes (though there's still confusion, the feeling of being an outsider, and plenty of horniness and depression). After one of the most productive phases of my life, I lost touch with everything | ever believed in.

I drifted away, forgot how to connect with other people, lost my sense of self, my identity, my sense of belonging. Just like that, I was gone.

The first sign? An onslaught of angst and the overpowering urge to reread The Catcher in the Rye for what must have been the 25th time. At first, I wondered if this was puberty all over again-maybe thanks to the COVID vaccine. Once I started becoming aware of it, though, there was still nothing I could do. I got more depressed and suicidal than l'd ever been. Like so many creatives, I left art and comics behind years ago, focusing on a responsible, modest lifestyle, building a career and a family. By 29, I was an ordinary guy-content, or at least settling. Then life came along and sucker-punched me in the balls, stole my powers, and burned it all down. Out of nowhere, though, I felt the spark of something new. It was time to go on a quest.

PART II: "There and Back Again"

I wanted to draw the Invisible Man because that's exactly how I feel. I feel like Gregor Samsa, trying to murmur an "I love you" through my own twisted exoskeleton, only to terrify anyone who matters. I feel like Frankenstein, Godzilla, or Toru Okada in a surreal, postmodern search for meaning, lost in a dark hole. I am body horror-aging itself is body horror. It reminds me of that Cronenberg film Shivers, where an old man opens his trench coat to expose his shriveled body, croaking, "Even old flesh... is erotic flesh." It's grotesque, yet somehow, it's all part of this journey.

PART III: "How to Survive a Midlife Crisis (Or Any Crisis) "

How do you survive a midlife crisis—or any crisis? By diving into the toxic wreckage of this post-apocalyptic, dystopian nightmare we call life and finding the art buried inside. Let it in; let it take over like radiation or cancer. Become someone new-reborn, inspired, creating art and comics, and vomiting pop culture.

During the worst of it, I went back to my old survival strategy. I gorged on every piece of media I could get my hands on-comics, manga, art books, classics, film noir, vintage BDSM movies and magazines. I started drawing again, and fast. Now it's all coming together, fusing into something new. This is what I wanted. More to come?

P.S. Did I mention I might've jerked off 40 times a day and visited a few escorts in all this? Guess that should've been in here too, since I'm drawing hentai late at night.

Feels like this is going somewhere. I'll just have to follow my heart and see where it

[killersfool]

ANATOMY - a snippet of a book I'm writing

a/n: this is literally bridget jones i know!!!!!!!!

I first saw Andrew on Thursday the 14th of October at exactly 8.41am. On the tube. It was one of those busy mornings where time feels like it’s slipping away faster than usual. The train was packed, and I was wedged into a corner, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

I watch him from the opposite seat of the tiny compartment. I watch as his hair curls across his forehead, a dark coat upon his shoulders and engrossed in a tattered copy of Byron. Typical posho, I think to myself, rolling my eyes. I can just imagine him in his teenage years in a private school. I'm betting on Eton. Wearing his pristine uniform waving goodbye to mummy, hanky patting against her tear-stained cheeks.

He sticks out like a sore thumb against the group of fellow tube-takers, opting for an old-fashioned book rather than a phone. My legs are crossed, no phone in my hands because my brain is too fried to have that brightness illuminating my face and my eyes are still glued to this strange man. He flicks the page after a moment and raises an eyebrow in thought. His right hand drifts away from the book and deep into the pocket of his dark brown corduroy trousers and I glance at the belt meticulously strapped through the loops. Out of the pocket emerges a black biro. Then he's annotating in the margins. Or writing some sort of thought that popped into his mind. Maybe he's a writer or a poet himself. Or maybe he just has an adoration for 19th century poetry. In this day and age it seems to be a long-forgotten niche. It's rare to see someone so absorbed in anything beyond their screen. 

The train jolts. We arrive in Westminster. I thought this would be where Mr-Byron-reader would stop. But no. Alas! We continue along. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed my very obvious staring. He seems oblivious to the entire world around him. Even the child who has just sat next to him who keeps screaming at her mother. He hasn't budged a bit, only pressed the briefcase on the ground a little closer to the seat. The briefcase leads me to the suspicion that he is a lawyer. He looks like one alright. Clean-shaven, black shiny shoes, a furrowed brow.

But then, suddenly, he looks up—at me.

We make eye contact for a moment. He raises the furrowed brow and looks at me with confusion. Then he stands up and leaves. Temple is his final destination. The tube station closest to the Courts of Justice. 

The next time I see him is the week after, give or take. Friday the 22nd of October at the same time. About two minutes after. This time we're both stood up. His hand is clinging to the overhead handrail, mine to the one by the door. He's unable to read this time because both of his hands are occupied so he instead looks up at the ceiling, brown eyes focused intently. He looks tired this time. A little bit scruffy. His tie hasn't been done up properly and his hair is mussed up like he's just pulled himself out of bed. He has grey trousers on this time and a blazer to match. I wonder what his name is. He looks like a Tom or a William. One of those classic english names that everyone seems to have.

Part of me wants him to look at me again. I found the perplexion dancing across his features quite amusing the previous time we were in the same compartment. As the train reaches Temple, he stops looking at the ceiling. Once again, our eyes meet. I smile. He doesn't. He's serious. Then he's gone and I'm rooted in place, resisting the growing urge to follow him.

My stop is covent garden. Each morning I walk down to the lab, and look at cancer cells. I started working for a research agency three years ago after finishing university. I always wanted to make a change. This would get me in the centre of the action. My life consists of staring through light microscopes and drawing what I had discovered. I like my job. I like the study of disease and I hope one day I will discover something that will change the course of cancer treatments. But this time, as I stain the sample and turn the course focus knob, my mind falls back to the man on the tube. His clicky footfalls and rugged confidence that beckoned for me to look at him.

Next week, I will speak to him, I assure myself. Next week.

The 31st of October comes around quickly and I enter the tube with a sneaking suspicion that after all of this preparing, he won't even be in there. However, he is. Halloween luck. Countless people are dressed up already, although morning has hardly even broken. The compartment is completely stuffed with people and I have to suck in my breath to fit into the tiny corner I have lodged myself in. I spot Mr.Lawyer in mere seconds. He is sat down once again, briefcase on his lap and this time he has reading glasses on as he glances through yet another poetry book. It's not Byron this time, it's Keats. My whole plan splits into a million pieces and we reach Temple before I can even attempt to push through and murmur a word.

Instead, I have the bright idea of following him. Very much stalker-like. I move past the crowd and leave the compartment at the last moment, milliseconds before the door decides to crush me. I walk down the platform, already spotting his tall, brooding frame walking at a jaguar's pace towards the exit. I follow him up the stairs and then we're on the pavement. Loud London roads catch me off guard and I almost lose sight of him as I'm overwhelmed by the noise and business. I finally catch sight of him again. I make him my target. He stops at a traffic light. T

This is my chance.

I stop beside him. Glance at him. Step a little closer. "In a rush?" I ask, trying to catch his attention

He looks to the side then down at me in the most arrogant manner one can possibly do. He looks at his watch then scoffs. "They expect me to be there bang on 9." He sighs, I'm struck by a thick Scottish accent. "But they can all fuck themselves."

I bite back a laugh. So much for the composed, elegant lawyer I’d imagined. He is irritated, stressed—human.

"Who's they?" I wonder, curiosity bubbling over.

"The idiots who plan out the court hearings but can't seem to give us a feasible time table," he grumbles. "Once, they booked me for three at the same bloody time."

I laugh this time, unable to help it. The traffic lights turn green. I expect him to dash ahead and leave me to walk on my own. Instead, we fall into step together, his pace matching mine. His long strides gradually slow down to allow me to keep pace. I'm not sure what to say but know I should make some kind of conversation.

"Do you always run late? Or is today special?" I ask, glancing up at him. His eyes flicker down to meet mine, and for a second, I think I may have overstepped.

But then he smirks, just a little. "Today's a disaster. Forgot my laptop at home. Can't find my notes. And I've been awake since five dealing with some idiot client who thinks she can ignore court orders."

"Sounds rough," I reply, surprised he's opening up so easily. "Is that what being a lawyer is like? Constant chaos?"

He raises an eyebrow. "You think I'm a lawyer?"

I falter. "Aren't you? I mean... the briefcase, the suit..."

He laughs, a low sound that sends a shiver through me. "Close. Barrister, actually."

"Oh," I say, feeling a bit embarrassed for not knowing the difference. I didn't expect him to correct me so casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

We continue in silence for a few moments, the sound of the city filling the gaps between us. I keep sneaking glances at him—he had this intense, brooding energy, but now that he's started talking, he seemsalmost relaxed. 

 “Do you always follow strangers off the tube?” he questions suddenly, his tone half-teasing, half-curious.

My face goes red. “I—uh… No, I just… You seemed interesting. I see you on the train a lot.”

 “Interesting, huh?” He shoots me a sideways glance, his lips curling into a smile. It's the first time he’s really smiled, and it makes me feel both exposed and intrigued. “

I mean, not in a weird way,” I backpedal, laughing awkwardly. “You’re just… you’re always reading something, and I guess I wondered what kind of person still reads Byron on the tube.”

 He chuckles again, shaking his head. “You should’ve just asked.”

 “Would you have answered?”

 “Probably not,” he admits , amusement still playing on his face. 

“I don’t usually talk to people on the tube.”

 “Neither do I,” I confess. “But here we are.” 

 “Here we are.” He stops walking, and I realise we are standing in front of a grand stone building. The Royal Courts of Justice loom above us, its gothic architecture sharp and imposing. I hadn’t even noticed where we were headed. 

 “This is me,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I’m already late.”

I want to say something, anything, to keep him there for just a bit longer. There is still so much I don't know about him. “Wait—what’s your name?”

He looks at me for a moment, considering whether to answer. Then he smiles, that brief flicker of amusement returning. “Andrew.”

Andrew. Of course, he is an Andrew. It suits him—serious, stoic, a bit old-fashioned, just like the poetry he carries with him. 

“I’m Mila,” I offer, feeling suddenly small under his gaze. 

“Mila.” He repeats my name like he is testing it out. “I’ll see you on the tube, then.”

And just like that, he turns and walks toward the towering doors of the courthouse. I watch him go, feeling a strange mixture of satisfaction and disappointment. He spoke to me. He has a name. But it isn't enough.

[tahomina30]

Australians urged to practice sun safety this summer, with more than 400,000 people diagnosed with skin cancer each year

Last year, Emily Hayes received a call that she believed signaled the end of her life.

"I felt it was the end," she recounted. "They told me it was melanoma. I didn't see a way out."

Living in Queensland, the skin cancer capital of the world, Emily, a 30-year-old, resides near some of the country's most popular beaches, drawing thousands seeking sun exposure despite the deadly consequences—over 2,000 Australians succumb to UV rays annually.

Until her diagnosis, Emily didn't realize the hazards of neglecting a daily sun safety routine. "If I went to the beach for the day, that was fine, but the everyday activities like hanging out the washing or mowing the lawn for 30 minutes, I wasn't careful at all," she admitted.

Fortunately, the melanoma on her leg hadn't spread to other parts of her body. However, not everyone is as fortunate, with around 18,000 Australians annually diagnosed with invasive melanomas, the deadliest form of skin cancer.

"Melanomas can change within weeks or months, so I'm lucky to be here," Emily emphasized.

Professor Anne Cust noted that while Australians are becoming more aware of tanning risks, the awareness is not increasing rapidly enough. Melanoma is the most common cancer in people aged 20 to 39, making young adults a high-risk group.

"Especially for young people, they're much more likely than adults to seek a tan," Professor Cust remarked.

Despite the known link between UV radiation and melanomas, people continue to choose tanning, often not realizing the damage until years later. Over 430,000 people are diagnosed with non-melanoma skin cancer each year, almost equivalent to the population of the Australian Capital Territory.

Treating skin cancer places a billion-dollar burden on the Australian healthcare system annually, with an estimated $1.7 billion cost for melanoma treatment alone. Treatment can involve lengthy processes and specialized areas such as radiation and immunotherapy, leading to side effects like memory issues, concentration difficulties, nausea, hair loss, and fatigue.

Professor Cust stressed the importance of skin cancer education, stating that it not only saves lives but also saves the government millions of dollars. "For every dollar the government spends on skin cancer prevention campaigns, it returns more than $3," she explained.

To tackle the issue head-on, a $10 million skin cancer awareness campaign, funded by the national government, is underway. Additionally, Queensland recently announced a $1 billion cancer center for innovative cancer treatments.

Following her brush with early death, Emily Hayes urged people not to take the risk of tanning lightly. She emphasized the lack of education on the dangers of sun exposure and suggested government initiatives such as providing free sunscreen in public places.

"It's terrifying when you get told you have a melanoma," she said. "You really need to be sun-safe and do the right things."

[serenityinself]

I just had the urge to write. I don’t know why or where it came from, but I often find it coming to me like like a truck hurling towards you at 80 miles per hour and you can’t help but be struck. I’m sitting in my beautiful apartment, watching my two lovely pups, and my heart is just really full. I love the holidays, but man are they hard. I get sudden flashbacks of when my dad got sick and the grief overrides everything else. It’s like I’m stuck in a loop until I let myself feel. I remember him being misdiagnosed, not being able to eat during thanksgiving and being in extreme pain. And my dad never complained. The doctors often had to adjust his pain scale cause they knew his 2 was really an 8. And they said it was something easy and curable, I had a really bad intuition feeling that it wasn’t. And 3 weeks later, he was diagnosed with an incurable cancer. Those moments changed the rest of my life.

I’ve been hearing the word kismet a lot lately. More than usual. What a small word, 6 letters, but it carries so much. Words are crazy like that. Like, almost, 6 letters but it consists of the pinpoints that someone’s fate alters. Things almost could have been one way or another. I think almost provides a safety net for what people are too scared to find out about because they’d have to leave comfort to do it. The almosts don’t have to be almosts. Kismet is controlled by our actions, the Universe gives us options, what we’re ready for and we aren’t, but it lets us decide. Are you willing to leave your comfort zone to find what you’ve always been looking for?

These week has been a lot of emotions. I tend to serve as everyone’s “therapist friend” and it’s because I give a shit. I have pretty good boundaries these days, and I still make the choice to be there for anyone I can, because I know all to well how it feels not to have anyone and it’s so important to me that noone else feels that way. And I balance it to try to make sure it doesn’t effect me. But sometimes you run into situations where you can choose to either be there for someone or save yourself, and it happens quickly.

This week I went to a going away party for work. And I could tell something was off with one of the newer Attorneys who started a year after me. Almost to the day I had a conversation with her a year prior about her partner, and how she just wasn’t happy. But she was comfortable and her partner was nice. My work is hard. It’s harsh, soul-crushing, and you have the opportunity to change someone’s life but also first hand witness how cruelly the world can treat someone. It’s far from easy. The right people who come to this work, come to be of service. It’s their core beliefs and values that draw them there. But it’s a lot. And to deal with other life changes while dealing with this work, especially in the beginning, is extremely challenging. And she had lost her Brother. Her buddy as she said. They were so close and it clearly crushed her soul, but she hasn’t had time to process the grief cause she hasn’t taken the time to. We sat and I wiped her tears for hours while she just cried. It was so fucking heartbreaking. But she literally looked at me grabbed me and asked if we could go outside, and then she just took a deep breath, looked at me and balled. And she shared all these things with me. I’ve had maybe 10 one on one convos with her, but whenever I see her not being recognized at work, I always try to hype her up. A big part of what’s making this all so hard is that she’s with someone who just doesn’t get it and she’s processing having a half fulfilling relationship while dealing with this job and loss. And it really just made me think about how we as humans just get so lost in comfort. We settle because it’s easy, but really we’re just cutting ourself short.

And maybe I’ll end up alone, and searching for the rest of my life, but one thing I’ve decided is that I won’t settle. In any area of my life. I refuse. I will keep growing, loving, saying yes to new experiences. I won’t accept half loves from friends, lovers or anyone else. Life is too short for that.

[twinkinspector]

☽ masterlist ☽ event home ☽

☽ @whinestonecowgirl... ☽

for better or worse... the stars have spoken. read more to find out what they have in store for you!

BETTER: your perfect match is sir nighteye / sasaki mirai and i'm feeling very Normal about it

pisces sun – capricorn sun

scorpio moon – aquarius moon

cancer rising – capricorn rising

pisces mercury – sagittarius mercury

aquarius venus – sagittarius venus

leo mars – leo mars

CANCER RISING – CAPRICORN RISING: your risings are a PERFECT MATCH. his rising is your descendant, and your rising is HIS descendant. the descendant often represents what we look for in a partner – in this case, stability and drive.

PISCES MERCURY – SAGITTARIUS MERCURY: your mercury falls in his third house of conscious skills and intellect. the third house is traditionally ruled by mercury, so it's perfect that this falls in that house! having a water mercury and a fire mercury together can be a bit risky, but i think with his practical capricorn placements and the synastry of that third house, you'd be able to work out effective communication. while his more straightforward way of communicating might hurt your feelings at times, it could be what you need to look at a situation objectively. and while your more emotional way of communicating might get on his nerves, it could remind him to be compassionate.

AQUARIUS VENUS – AQUARIUS MOON: this placement gives you a real sense of familiarity with one another. people with this synastry tend to feel the urge to settle down and start a life together. this falls in nighteye's second house of material things. it makes him want to turn that synastry and venusian energy into something tangible! his moon also falls in your eighth house of taboos and sex 👀 you're super attracted to his inner emotional world. when he opens up about his feelings, it can really get you going iykwim!!!

LEO MARS – LEO MARS: this placement was the only thing that gave me pause in this matchup. having two fire mars people – LEOS EVEN – together is risky too. but like i mentioned above, i think your placements and synastry are enough to help you two push through any issues you might encounter. plus, having mars in the same sign can help you understand each other on a deeper level – specifically why things get under your skin. AAAAAND your leo mars falls in his eighth house of taboos and sex 👀 i could see you two coming to an agreement where you fuck your frustrations out when conflict comes up................. BUT THAT'S JUST MY TAKE

overall, i think you two would balance each other out really well! his practicality could help to ground you and keep you feeling well-taken care of. your emotional side could help him to look at things in a different way. all in all, i love this synastry!! it helps that you think he's hot LMAOOOOO

WORSE: your match is shigaraki tomura!

pisces sun – aries sun

scorpio moon – libra moon

cancer rising – aquarius rising

pisces mercury – aries mercury

aquarius venus – pisces venus

leo mars – leo mars

AQUARIUS RISING: shiggy's aquarius rising falls in your eighth house of taboos and sex, which draws you in. but that's just what he projects – in reality, that's only one of TWO aquarius placements in his entire chart. his other one is his north node, which indicates that aquarius energy is something he needs to learn to grow into.

NO CAPRICORN: your descendant in capricorn shows that you're looking for someone with that capricorn energy. and shigaraki has NONE. in fact, the only earth placement he has is his pluto in taurus, which isn't even a personal planet. he wouldn't be able to take care of you the way you crave.

PISCES MERCURY – ARIES MERCURY: this just looks like a recipe for hurt feelings. aries mercuries often speak without thinking and can come off REALLY aggressive. your water moon makes me think you would internalize it until you explode with your leo mars, and that would NOT be pretty.

LEO MARS – LEO MARS: while this aspect worked well with nighteye, i don't think it would manifest nearly the same way here. the hate sex would be INSANE for sure, but there are no other placements here to ground you. just volatile emotions and conflict. additionally, your mars falls in his seventh house of partnerships. i think he would constantly try to egg you on just to see you angry – because that's one of his favorite things about you.

overall, i think you'd be attracted to the mask he puts on for the world. and i think the sex would be insane crazy nutso bananas....... but once you really get to know him, i think he'd just be too mean. and not in a sexy way skksalj;df he wouldn't be able to take care of you and i think it would end in a screaming match (or 20)

☽ kennie, i hope you liked your matchups! as soon as i saw nighteye i was like "damn it'd be funny if he was a good match," and kinda just brushed him off....... but then he ended up being really good???? sometimes it just be like that. ily!!! <3

[edeneffect]

Awesome horoscopes!!!!!

Cancer: The rot grows within you, it swells the antithesis of your being writhes, you need to let it out. mercy isn’t a sign of weakness. love will find you

Leo: They can smell you, the pussy white spiders scutter onto of the fabric of reality they do not know yet for what they lust but the primal urge does not benefit you, you should use your turn signals more

Virgo: your friends are the key to your success :)  love is in the air!!!!!!

Libra: For whom the bell tolls we do not know, linen and strung with the bodies of the unidentifiable. how it rings we do not know, the accursed primordial chords it bellows hallow time. we dont have coke, would a pepsi be fine?

Scorpiun: Optimism and boundless energy fill your interactions today, GOOD VIBESSSS!!!!!!!!

Sagittarius: Beaten bloody once more the vile, malleable remainders of your hands scrape and grind against the granite on the floor, most draw their breaths but you are no longer like most, the ungodly hallowing whistle as your lungs, scorched though they are, desperately clamber and cling to whatever remains of your soul, the fact you have made it this far shows that whatever deity watching down over you is not what the scriptures made it out to be, GET FLIRTY GIRLLLLLLLL 😂😂😂😏😏🙄🙄🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 IT. IS. MATING SEASON!!!!! GET OUT THEIR!!

Capricorn: Not your lucky day, month or year, but you do have your friends!!! get a mocha!!!! their internal organs are blemishes on this plane, withered and fragile though they are they will be what becomes your downfall, we did not foresee their sentience, that much we can no longer prevent. Just like always, you are alone and will remain to be regardless of those you surround yourself with, it is too late to run. 😘😘😩😩🥶🤪🥴🥴🤮🤮🥵👹

Aquarium: Brush your fucking teeth you troglodyte.

Pisces: After all has succumbed to the rot, be it living, dead or neither it all becomes one, this primordial ooze does not produce new life on this plane, it would not be as cruel as its predecessor, 8 layers deep and a new universe is birthed although, it saw this as an act of mercy, this would only lead to more suffering, although the rot seeping though was inevitable it mattered not, the universe made of a tainted being could never follow though, always doomed to fall short, each new cycle breeds more and more imperfection and lust and in its attempts to communicate with its creations all it did was create war and divided the people of this realm, the illusions of grandeur tempted them so oppression would forever reign supreme but after all that, the latest of the gods would not have the will to continue, all the negativity of all those within. it branded itself unfit to rule and devoted itself to perpetual infighting.

Gemini: GET OUT THEY’RE SLUUUTSSS💅💅💅💅💅 IT IS YOUR TIME TO SHINEEEEEEEEE.... SLAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😎😎😎✨✨✨✨✨ others may try to bring you down but only you will determine your own worth!! hard work and chocolate🤪🤪 are what will lead you to T 👏H👏R👏I👏V👏E👏👏 show them how you #twerkit because YOU ARE WORTH ITTT!!!

[zodiacrant]

🍩My experiences with each Moon sign🍩

(Cause yall are messy)

I have done this a few times before but for Sun signs and did rank placements but never shared my thoughts and experiences with the Moon signs.

Now I know how this goes, so if you get mad or sad then go off I guess. Aint the first time I get cursed out or attacked in this bitch. Plus, I am a Cap moon so naturally I won’t do well with some Moons and I will be nitpicking everything about everyone.

🍩Aries Moon🍩

My dad’s moon. Yup, that tells you alot without me even starting. Having our Moons in Square shit was hard to say the least. It took a long time for us to be on middle grounds and because I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems here I will continue on. The Aries Moon that I really like and can think of is Rihanna, so I would say it’s unfair to make a whole judgment but from what I saw and heard they’re not exactly the best to be around. So I give them a 3/10 for being bold and having nerve.

🍩Taurus Moon🍩

Now this Moon right here I know people from ( a close friend and my sister, plus some others) and I don’t have many strong opinions about it. As a Taurus Sun, it can be a challenge to work with a Taurus Moon. I am stubborn at my core and they’re stubborn with their heart, so everytime we disagree it’s like a rope pulling contest. Way too stagnant for me but I think that’s because of my other placements and they don’t take any advice or open up no matter what. On to the good, I never disliked someone with this placement. No matter how much of an asshole they can be, to me it is difficult to hate them or stay mad at them. They’re warm, kind, and sweet but a bit aloof and naive, also they don’t like to touch and hug as some people might think. I will give them a 8/10

🍩Gemini Moon🍩

(⚠️TW⚠️ mention of rape and erratic behavior)

I only had one best friend with this placement and I don’t I want to meet any more, and I am at peace with that if they resemble her in any way. She was a maniac. She loved to lie, create drama, blow shit up, act crazy and basically be shocking. I do find similarities with Gemini Sun where they do shit for reactions but with her, she will take it to the next level. Lie about being raped, act possessed, or pretend that she is being followed. It’s not fair to associate her with people who share the same Moon as her but that was y’all’s representation in my life. She was erratic so it’s difficult to see where her Moon was in effect and where she was just off. I’ll give them a 1/10, would not recommend until proven otherwise.

🍩Cancer Moon🍩

The first that comes to my mind is Taylor Swift and to me she is the ultimate Cancer Moon. It juat makes sense how fast she takes it to the next level with people. Whether getting serious quickly with someone or throwing down and feuding. She just always at a 100. Personally, I never got close with someone who has this placement, maybe it’s because I am a Capricorn Moon myself, but I would say the ones that I have met were nice. I’ll give them a 5/10

🍩Leo Moon🍩

I only had one best friend with this placement but the people I have met with this Moon I still remember. They all had one thing in common and that was being emotionally traumatized and have lost one parent. My best friend was super loyal, very confident in what they believed in and represented, were always there for me and had an amazing ability in motivating others. But they were also super prideful and there’s no coming back with them. Fight once and it’s over. (Yes I am looking at you Jonnie). One of the other people was with me in uni and always had the to urge won up me and my friend. He had scars all over and he doesn’t remember how he got them. But he was super proud of himself and his home country, which I respect and admire. I’ll give them a 6/10

🍩Virgo Moon🍩

I know two people with this placement, my mom and a professor at uni, and oh boy it makes sense that they’re a Virgo Moon. Me and my mom are too alike that we clash strongly at times. She thinks she can do it better and I think I can do it better and we just have like a competition on who done it better basically. From cooking, to how you light the stove, to how you put on clothes, to how you lay down on bed. Both my mom and my professor are super critical and precise, althogh my professor is a double Virgo (Sun and Moon) so she will go even further. They have to do everything as it arises and act like there’s no time and everything is about to go wrong. Like damn sis chill the fuck out for a sec and this is coming from a Cap moon so you know it’s bad. But I really like Virgo Moon, even though people might hate such a personality but I can relate to them in some ways. I’ll give them 7/10

🍩Libra Moon🍩

My only online friend that I talk to all the time got this Moon. Other than her I met only two people and they were something. Okay so for my friend, because I never actually have seen her physically with my own eyes I can’t say how she acts all the time, but she is one of the best listeners I had in my life. She likes to hear me ramble for an hour about a dumb encounter that lasted a second, talking about astrology and some nerdy things and then not so nerdy things. I believe that it’s a Libra Moon quality to be emotionally versatile and attentive. I think because she is a Leo dominant she acts much fiery and fiercely than a Libra would. As for the other people I just thought they were fake. One acted as a friend but then would just disappear so I was over it quickly and the other was super passive and pretentious that I think she shits out plastic. All in all I think it’s a great Moon. I’ll give them a 7/10

🍩Scorpio Moon🍩

One of the hardest Moons I ever delt with but I find that I love them too. My oldest sister had this Moon and she is such a mystery. Because I am a Taurus Sun, it is only natural for me to have a hard time with a Scorpio Moon. Even though she is an extrovert, she rarely talks about herself and her feelings, you will never catch her slipping or show vulnerability. I can see how difficult it may be for her being a Cancer with a Scorpio Moon and have Gemini dominance. But she’s a bitch at heart and I am cool with it. I’ll give them 5/10 cause I am not a big fan of paradoxical people

🍩Sagittarius Moon🍩

A moon that I always babysat. I had two best friends with this Moon and if I was born a second earlier, it would mine too. I don’t know if it’s because of my Gemini Venus or my 0 degree Capricorn Moon but I love Sagittarius Moons. I was fortunate to see some of their weaknesses and for them to trust me enough to be vulnerable. But boy do they get themselves into the dumbest situation because they wanted to see what would happen. I had to babysit them and help them do everything like shopping, cooking, cleaning, assembling furniture, be their body guard when buying weed. (Shhhh it’s a secret). They’re in many ways immature cause they run from things and everytime you try to be real with them, they say “stop being negative”. I’ll give them a 9/10

🍩Capricorn Moon🍩

The grande dame of the Moon signs, sitting at it’s opposite planet. I have met many Cap Moons and honestly we are bitches 😂. The energy of sitting next to a Capricorn Moon is too fucking much like I never knew it’s like that. I noticed the way they stare, talk, walk and sit can be so aggressive and intimidating. I see why people might label us as bullies, cause the energy is definitely there and I myself was such a cunt (still a little but I am more aware of myself now) that I get where both are coming from. Life as a Capricorn Moon is emotionally flat. If wasn’t for my other placements you will never see me even flinch. I think we just take everything and let it process in our head before we let it into our hearts. So to me, we’re not mean, we just don’t see how something might be hurtful. But also that tone and that blank face, goddam! That’s why I try to smile cause bitch no, I didn’t know I was walking with a death stare this whole time. Anyways, I will give us 10/10 cause I am self appreciative like that 😂✌️

🍩Aquarius Moon🍩

I have always tried to understand Aquarius Moon and it was only a month ago that I have realized they themselves are not sure of who they’re. I had one best friend with this placement and three cousins (all siblings). First, my cousins are super competitive with each other on who gets to do what and if it happens that they’re similar in something they will get pissed. The person that was my best friend was like that as well. Only he would drop a an entire hobby, interest, something close to his heart, shit even a personality trait. I find them to be constantly changing and trying, so they shift between one end of extreme to the other until they center themselves. I’ll give them a 4/10

🍩Pisces Moon🍩

Now let’s talk about a depressing placement, in my opinion of course 😅. I don’t know if it’s the influence of Neptune on the Moon or is it the just the demeanor of Pisces, but good god girl get a grip (they call this the five G’s). My youngest sister is a Pisces Moon, and as creative as she is, she is pessimistic and overly cynical. I mean I am all for being critical and real but looking at everything with jacked up black sprayed glasses is just too much for me. Other than my sister I don’t know any Pisces Moon very well but I had a few acquaintances. I noticed that they talked about a specific thing and that’s it. I have found them to be amazing at drawing, painting and have an incredible artistic sense. At times twisted and dark, but I love the art that comes with it. I’ll give them a 5/10

Here’s the tea. It’s Pisces season so remember I am sensitive right now, and also it’s my life and I wish I met someone as amazing as you might think you’re. (Maybe that was a little too aggressive)

Okay love you ❤️

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 31

prompt: terminal/chronic

fandoms: bnha, dn, fma, hq, svsss, tua, yoi

bnha

Anidiotropia by Kizimba

(graphic depictions of violence)

“Are you having an episode?” Aizawa asked carefully and inclined his head at Midoriya’s hand. He’d been pawing at his chest since shortly after the hero’s arrival. Keenly aware that further stress would worsen his condition, Eraserhead had kept quiet about it until it looked like he was improving.

“Mm,” he answered after a long while, blinking slowly. ---- Less than 1% of Japan’s population was quirkless and their numbers were thinning due to an unexplained increase of heart failure.

An abandoned stray living off the scraps his last foster family sends him, Midoriya Izuku is forced to take the reins on his own finances and becomes a notorious online quirk analyst. It's more than just the public that takes an interest in Japan's enigmatic QA, though, and a failing heart soon becomes the least of Izuku's problems.

blue by aworus

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

The sole purpose of Izuku’s quirk is to keep him alive.

So it’s pretty ironic that it’s also slowly killing him.

Or: Izuku’s quirk has an unforeseen side effect

More Than Just a Burden by ghosteyes

Izuku's injuries catch up to him just as they're making the move into the dorms. Not only does he decide the best way to deal with them is to ignore it as much as physically possible, but he also does his best to hide it from his friends. Until he can't.

They seem to think it's a 'big deal' his hands sometimes hurt so much that he can't use them. Izuku doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to need special treatment. He doesn't want to have this problem, but it's getting harder and harder to do anything else.

death note

Sickness by BlueberryValentine

Stunning what sickness can draw out of people. L + Light + brain cancer.

haikyuu

the galaxies were endless (i thought we were too) by cosmogony

(major character death)

soulmate /ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun A person who was made from the same star as you.

// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives

fma

a terrifying clamour of trumpets by ShanaStoryteller

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?”

The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?”

There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

svsss

Who had you was? I yes you would by technorat

(explicit) (graphic depictions of violence)

Shen Qingqiu struggles against migraines and his own exhaustion. Liu Qingge knows something is wrong but doesn't know what.

Or, Shen Yuan transmigrates into a tumor in Shen Qingqiu's head.

fuel the embers with the flames of your soul by MissParasol

(mature)

Trapped in Huan Hua’s Water Prison, Shen Yuan’s illness from his previous life relapses.

tua

Counting Down The Days To Go by siriuspiggyback

(major character death)

It started off small. Easy to explain away. That was his downfall, in the end. By the time they diagnosed him, it was too late; the cancer had gotten a tight hold on his body.

Klaus wouldn't tell his siblings, not yet, no matter how much Ben begged him. He wanted to feel as normal as he could, for as long as he could.

Bruise Easily, Bad in the Blood by siriuspiggyback

His chest aches with the force of his heart beating, and he gasps for air like a drowning man. At Ben's urging, barely audible over the ringing of his ears, he sits and puts his head between his knees. He feels like he might be floating, or rocking; the sensation is unsettling close to being blackout drunk.

After a long minute, he falls back down to earth.

Ben admits, "I don't think that was a panic attack."

"Told you so," Klaus whines weakly, too exhausted for true smugness.

yoi

don't worry by JMonCheri

(major character death)

Time seemed to slow to a stop, at first Viktor seemed to falter as he slowed alongside with time, his flush obvious on his cheeks. Viktor stopped skating, his form stayed frozen on the rink, before promptly dropping to the ice like a ragdoll.

Yuuri gasps alongside with the crowd. Viktor did not do any jumps, spins, or anything. Viktor Nikiforov, his undefeatable champion, his naive Fiancé, his love, his everything, has simply fainted.

Viktor did not look like he was going to get up anytime soon.

For the first time that night, Yuuri allowed himself to listen to the announcer’s booming voices.

“Viktor Nikiforov has fainted! Where are the medics? I repeat, Viktor Nikiforov has fainted!”

[viking-goat-420]

Alucard (smut) form my old account not edited

They say that everyone has a mate, and once you find your mate nothing and no one can take you away from them. I was not a normal human being I was a feral muntin of the cat kind and with my power, I can change into a large cat or a small one it really depended on what I needed.

" (Y/N) I have a need for you to take the wild geese and go and track down the vampire who is draining a town full of people" I looked over at my boss who just so happens to be the one who was the master or monsters and I fit right in with that. I was a monster and I had no problem with that.

"Of course, my Master," I said bowing down to her before walking out of the door It was about 30 years since the blitz in London and they were still waiting for this Alucard guy to show up. I had come to Sir Integra just after that day having saved her life back then and I was the one who helped run things after. I did just about anything she needed me to and with the power I had I could go days without sleep and would be just fine.

"Let's go Pip grab the guys, we got a job to do," I said looking over at my best guy friend as he lit up a cancer stick. In the acatke, on the manner, Pip was wounded so badly and almost died only to bring himself back from death by drinking the blood and becoming a vampire.

"Oi (Y/N) where are we headed?" he said as the guys got into the jeeps

"We're going to cheddar to kill a vampire" I said grinning my fangs on full show Pip smiled back.

(Later)

I walked into the manner after writing up a report and headed down to my room I knew my master was asleep and would give it to her in the morning. I heard the sound of gunshots and ran as fast as my legs would carry me to my master's room where I came face to face with sears and her big ass gun. She kicked open the door flashing everyone when I heard her gasp.

"Master!" She yelled out before lowering her gun I, on the other hand, kept my tense stance.

"What the hell is going on? Master are you alright?" I asked coming to stand close to her as I walked more into the room the scent of this man made me purr out before I could stop myself making My master looked at me with a raised brow.

"Yes, I'm sure you would like to know who this is (Y/N) this is Alucard the one who we have all been waiting to return," she said while sitting on the bed I felt a pull towards this man and was hoping like hell he was not my mate.

"Well if there is no danger than I shall take my leave, good night master," I said not looking over Alucard and walked out of the room. I had no clue what was going to happen now but I had a feeling I was being followed and just as I opened my door Alucard was sitting in my chair.

"So you took my place while I was gone?" he asked with a bored tone I had to give it to him he sure was sexy.

"Somewhat, I'm not really human so I can do things other can't trust me though it's been really boring," I said thinking all of the times I went on hunts only to come up with someone who was not worth even my time to fight.

"Tell me how old are you?" I looked over at him finding that he looked like someone I had met before only I could not put my finger on where i had seen him before.

"Eh, about 300 years old give or take," I said sitting down on my bed he was nice to talk to even if he is prying into my life. Even though I know this I find myself unable to hold back when he asks me things. "If you have nothing else to say I'm gonna get some sleep," I said as I pulled the blankets back so I could get into bed I felt the air around me heat back up and knew that Alucard had left.

(One Month Later)

"You was reckless! If I didn't step in you would have been killed" Alucard growled form everything I knew about him the only one he truly cared about was our master and the police girl.

"Oh please, I can't be killed, trust me I would have been dead a long time ago," I said stripping off my top to show him I was healed I felt his cool body get closer to mine and felt him run his fingers down my back.

"Tell me when do you plan to stop fighting this and give in?" he growled out his face close to my neck inhaling my scent.

"I have no clue what you mean," I said turning around to face him and felt my knees go weak at the look on his face.

"You are my mate, my queen, my fourth bride," he said with each kiss to my lips before deepening the kiss and stealing my breath away. I was lost to his touch and the taste of him I knew what he was saying was true but I was still going to make him fight for it. I was not the type to lay down and give in, I was a fighter.

"Oh really? You think that? Hmm, how about you prove it then" I said holding him close to my body his cool hard body felt wonderful against my hotter body with what I am I ran a little hotter than normal.

"I plan on it" Before I knew it I was laying on my back naked with a very sexy powerful vampire laying on top of me kissing sucking on my neck. I could feel his fangs scrape my neck and turned my head a little more giving him more room to work with. I had a plan to fight him but I didn't say I would not enjoy what he was doing.

While Alucard was working on my neck I tightened the hold on his hips and flipping us over so I was on top and I leaned down to crash his mouth to mine our fangs clashing and our tastes mingled together making me moan. I could feel how hard he was and wanted to taste him badly so I started to kiss down his neck leaving little bites as I went until I was face to face with his manhood. He was the biggest I had ever seen and couldn't wait till he was inside of me.

"Who said you could be on top? I heard him growl out as I licked the tip tasting him I locked my eyes with his before taking him fully into my mouth and down my throat making myself gag on him. I felt him grab onto my hair and held me in place before thrusting up and fucking my mouth while he was doing that I started to rub on his balls making him lose his pace and thrust up into me a little harder.

"Fuck, You suck my cock so well, take all of me I plan to cum down you pretty little throat" Alucard growled out before fucking my throat how he wanted I loved how he was using me even though I was on top he was very much in control and I loved a man who knew what he wanted and could take control of me in the bedroom. I knew he was close and sucked extra hard on him making him jump over the edge and cumming down my throat. I slowly sat up keeping his cock in my mouth as long as I could before I let him go with a loud pop and licked my lips. Before I knew it I was back on my back and he was raging hard again.

Alucard kissed me biting my lip till I opened my mouth to him and our tongues dueled for dominance. He won in the end only because he cheated by playing with my clit. I was dripping wet and was close to begging him to fuck me. I don't even remember the last time I had been fucked good and hard.

"Your dripping already and I have barely even touched you, my queen," he said while speeding up his pace I was a moaning mess by the time I felt his long as fuck tongue plunge into my hot wet cunt fucking me. I arched up and grabbed a fist full of his hair and was pulling him closer to me my claws starching his scalp making him groan.

"Fuck! Please don't stop, make me cum on your tongue" I begged while I started to thrust into wet needy cunt on his warm tongue I heard him growl and throw my head back at the feeling, it sent me on my clit. I was so close to coming that when he pinched my clit it sent me over the edge Alucard was making a happy sucking sound as if I was the best thing he has ever tasted in his life.

"Are you ready for me?" Alucard said as he moved his body back up was he was nestled in between my legs I was more than ready for him. I wanted him to fuck me tell I could not move anymore.

"Fuck me, Make me your, Make me forget about anyone else but you" I moaned out while thrusting my hips up into his feeling his hard manhood rubbing on my clit.

"As you wish" was the last thing I heard before my world was crashing down when he plunged into my cunt fucking me right off the bat. Alucard didn't wait to let me adjust he fucked me like he was a man possessed. My nails were digging down into his back drawing blood making him growl out his fangs got longer. I could feel I was losing control of my animal side and flipped us over where I was on top of him. Alucard grabbing my hips and started to thrust upon me as I took control of the speed and rode him how I wanted. I was so fucking close to cumming that I had nothing else On my mind but finding my peak.

"Fuck, Yes, Fuck me just like that! You feel so good inside me" I moaned out I was flipped back onto my back with him on top of me the whole time we were fighting for who was going to be on top. Our fucking was more like a fuck and fight only this time no one would die.

"Who do you belong to" I heard him growl in my neck but I was too far gone to speak and was only able to moan for him. The feeling of his hand around my neck choking me brought me back to myself and I could understand what he had asked me.

"You! I belong to you!" with my words I felt him sink his fangs into my neck drinking my blood I had this uncontrollable urge to bite him as well and did just that. Marking him as my mate for the rest of his undead life. The feeling of him sucking my blood pushed me over the edge and I came screaming his name my nails going down his back drawing blood.

When I finally came back to myself I realized that he was no longer on top of me and that a blanket was over us both. I rolled over and laid my head on his chest where his heart should be beating only to find it wasn't. Alucard's cool body helped to cool me down after our mating.

"Well, That was fun," I said yawning my eyes were getting heavy and knew sleep was not far off

"Agreed" was the last thing I heard before I was pulled into the darkness of the dreamworld.