#or his old friendship group to properly integrate him into it

[alaanz]

Struggling to comprehend today’s remember me episode tbh.

Gun’s secret was finally revealed and him and golf are finally together. But honestly I was expecting a lot more hurt feelings and wasn’t expecting them to make up so quickly.

I guess it makes sense since they’ve known each other since they were kids but like still. it’s been YEARS. Surely there’d be more dishonesty felt. Like this is the same amount of time as vice versa, if not longer. But honestly I can’t complain too much, there’re enough emotions going around so I’m happy for their happiness.

FUCK ME. Em, I’ve honestly had it up to HERE with you. That was such a half hearted apology after such neglect as a friend. And then you let your friends speak about Name like that. And don’t tell them off. That really says a lot about how much you actually give a fuck. Because there’s no way they you can convince me that you’ve ‘actually loved him this whole time and it’s all just miscommunication’, which is probably how they’ll take it. If Em actually cared then he’d try harder and wouldn’t constantly go through Name’s mum to speak to him.

Name is constantly breaking my heart. I was about to start sobbing seeing him pick up the pill bottle. The fact that the feels so lonely and isolated that he’d rather kill himself than continue to live like this. Nobody understands him and then continue to belittle what he’s going through into him just making a choice. If they let him talk to them for a minute without interrupting him then they’d learn that this isn’t something he’s choosing to have.

He wants to speak, but his body won’t let him. And Name’s mum just doesn’t understand this. Him being mute gives everyone around him the opportunity to just walk all over him. It doesn’t have to be in big ways, but even small things are enough to make him feel unheard. His mum telling him to just speak when he was trying to write his thoughts onto paper is such a blow to his self worth. He’s communicating in the only way he can and then he’s being told it’s not good enough. That’s going to destroy him and it is.

Granted Em hasn’t really ever had any issues with Name being mute and just treats him like the rest of his friends. But he also doesn’t really stick up for him either. He’s, purposefully or not, taken Names mums side between them by going to her instead of him. And when his friend talks about him in a degrading way, he just lets it slide. Like this is how they always talk about Name and so it’s fine. It’s the fact that Em just keeps stringing him along and keeps Name in this sort of limbo, constantly wondering if Em actually wants to be his friend or not. Whether he actually likes him or not.

Name doesn’t see any hope of it getting better really. His mum says the same things over and over again, which continue to just belittle his emotions. And his closest friend doesn’t even rely try to contact anymore. He feels like Em is giving up on him and constantly letting him down. Name really needs someone in his life to actually listen to him and remind him of how amazing he is. That and probably therapy. He doesn’t have this right now and it’s honestly heartbreaking to see.

Then we get the fact that his mum has just collapsed in the hallway. He has no idea what’s wrong or what to do. And the thing you’re supposed to do, call the emergency services, isn’t something he’s really able to do. He’s just kind of frozen and not knowing what to do. I really hope that it’s not fatal because Name really can’t lose the only kind of support structure he has in his life.

The preview really gave us nothing on what’s going to happen and to hell with them for that. Name really will need friends and support right now, I just hope they don’t turn Em into the saviour character who finally comes and saves Name now that something big is happening. Because he doesn’t get to neglect him this whole time and then show up like a knight in shining armour. I want the whole friend group to come and support him. I know they’ve lost touch over the years but there isn’t any bad blood between them really and they were friends once, so them coming together again would be nice to see.

So many worries about what’s going to go down and if they’re going to try and save Name and Ems relationship or not.

[toomuchracket]

Flatmate!Matty lore suggestion: meeting the boys on the set of Waterloo Road (you’re also an extra). That way, you’re there for every moment of their career.

FUCKING INCREDIBLE IDEA I BLOODY LOVED WATERLOO ROAD (me and my mum rewatched it recently and when i tell you she was clocking matty in the background every time... honestly it was impressive). anyway, 🚨🚨 flatmate!matty LORE ALERT!! ORIGIN STORY ALERT 🚨🚨

but yeah like say you end up sitting next to matty in a classroom scene and obviously you end up chatting, and he's kind of cute (i say kind of because... the hair lmao) and really funny and he's sweet and you're properly impressed with him both as a person and the fact he's in a band (because that was literally the second thing he told you about himself after his name). i can't remember how old they were when it would have been filmed, but maybe as like "fake classwork" you're actually filling out a university application (you'll still stay in manchester, though!) and matty's totally in awe of how smart you are (and how pretty) and he thinks you're just the coolest person ever. and like for continuity reasons you guys have to sit next to each other from that point on, and you quickly become friends with him and the rest of the boys (like matty insists you hang out with them between scenes/on breaks). then i imagine matty quite shyly invites you to one of the band's gigs and gets SO excited when you show up (aww), and then it's just a blanket invite to every show and to hang out before and after, and pretty soon you're an integral part of the friend group and you and matty are considering each other best friends. i also think you guys develop crushes on each other fairly quickly, but with you being busy with uni and the band getting more successful (and also the constant fear of ruining your close friendship), it just goes unaddressed and you see other people (but just constantly yearn for each other). i also believe that you guys becoming flatmates happens when you both end up moving to london around the same time - matty for music obv, you to do a master's degree after doing your undergrad in manchester (you might've taken a year out between the two courses idk bro i can't do maths for shit to work out ages and years!). matty stays in the flat himself for a couple of months before you confirm the plan to move to london, and as soon as you tell him he's like "move in with me!" and you're kind of conflicted because although you love being around him you worry how much it might hurt to be so close and it not be romantic, and also that you'll be a nuisance and annoy him (which matty says is impossible). but he's your best friend and you trust him and the flat is in a really good location for you getting to uni, so you move in and get a little part-time job in a bar nearby alongside your studies and the rest is history <3

also you being on waterloo road is also good because it means you're quickly introduced to denise (and tim, when he was in it for a few eps!), who loves you and makes it absolutely no secret to matty that she thinks he should ask you out - it's the only thing she does that really embarrasses him, and she does it several times over the course of your friendship lol. when you do finally get together, she loses her shit and cries with excitement lmaooo

[novantinuum]

Crack the Paragon, Chapter 11

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (I have upped the rating in consideration of sensitive topics I aim to depict later on.)

Words: 3000~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which Lapis is a flight risk, and Steven begins to doubt himself.

You can find the AO3 link in the reblogs! (I have to omit them from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well.

-

Chapter 10: Beta, Part 2

When your life has become a continually evolving string of heart pounding adventures linked together by the odd few days off, you quickly learn to fixate on the fine details no matter what the circumstance, as you never know when one of those details could be used to save everyone’s butts. Sure, it’s not like this outlook did him any favors back in the forge, but his point still stands: a Steven who isn’t constantly paying close attention to his surroundings is a Steven who can’t properly help his friends. If he’s not innately aware of everything around him, he can’t raise his shield in time. He won’t be able to pull the right tool out of his cheeseburger backpack. He can’t give a perfectly worded response to a soul in need. This is a non-negotiable fact, and the reality of what happened with Bismuth merely cements it ever more solid. Which is why— deep beyond the wandering disorientation of his current surface thoughts— he can’t help but wonder why he’s unable to pay attention to the details that actually matter right now. The individual threads of all his friends’ panic, confusion, and attempted explanation overlap and intertwine, weaving an audible tapestry of emotions. Their precise words, however, may as well have died in the wind. Mentally, he is not here. Instead, the fragmented remains of his focus choose to zero in on the wood grain pattern spread across every beam and board of the barn’s rustic infrastructure. Wholly enamored, his eyes trace a path between the dark ridges as if traversing a maze. Tree rings are super pretty, huh. He absolutely doesn’t give them the love and admiration they deserve. But as is evident from the slight musty smell and the dainty mushrooms beginning to sprout by the floor in one of the corners, some of the boards are beginning to rot. His mouth falls slightly ajar, and he stares at these fruiting bodies with such stubborn commitment that for a moment he forgets anything else was ever a priority. Have Peridot and Lapis noticed? Do they even know what wood rot is? Upon that thought, he frowns pensively, balling his fist at his chin. Hmm. Given their relative inexperience with Earth stuff, the most likely answer to that is no. He’ll have to call Dad about fixing the boards before this grows into an even bigger problem. It’d be awful if their home became unsafe to live in because he didn’t do his part to help. But then again... “What do you mean, none of you know why she did it? That just makes it worse!” “Lapis! Lapis, wait! They said she’s—“ “Let go of me!” she says, struggling in Peridot’s grasp, her water wings flaring outwards at the ready. “Don’t you get it? I can’t live here on Earth anymore, it’s not safe! None of us are safe!” Is he already too late?

Lapis’s impassioned cries continue to echo at the edge of his awareness— something paranoid about shapeshifted disguises, about the Diamonds— but his feet are still anchored to the boards below, his body all but stagnant in shock of the current maelstrom of emotions. And yet, it’s strange... while a sum of him dimly recognizes he’s still attached to reality, it’s almost as if he’s watching all of this from above himself, stuck as a passive observer to his failure. Helpless. ( C-cracked, I’m- I’m cracked, I’m split I, I can’t... feel... need... I-I need to —) Slimy tendrils of guilt slither around his heart. He wasn’t paying close enough attention to the mood. He wasn’t careful. He wasn’t convincing. He was scared that everyone would devolve into petty argument, and look what happened! He ran his mouth when he should’ve stayed silent. He caused his own nightmare. His family’s splintering apart once more, and it’s all his fault. “But it’s not like that,” Ruby hastily interjects, “I’m sure it’s not like that!” “Really? You’re seriously jumping to defend Rose, after all the lies she fed us?” Amethyst spits back. “N- no! I’m just saying, why would—“ The constant chirping chorus emanating from the birds of the nearby woods steals his fragmented focus next, and he can’t help the sense of relief that bubbles up from within as he willfully sinks into the distraction. The birds, their songs are beautiful. He wonders what they’re saying to each other... if they’re arguing about territory, warning friends about predators, or simply having a friendly conversation. Maybe his dad might be able to distinguish the difference. When he was still living in the van, they used to lay on that ratty old mattress side-by-side late at night, listening to the crashing tides and the distant squalls of birds picking at trashed food on the boardwalk. Because one of his relatives was big into birding when they were kids, Dad was always able to stake a reasonable guess on the species class based on call alone. And honestly, that’s a pretty amazing power to have. As he related earlier, it’s important to fixate on the fine details. Attention to detail can save lives. It can soften hearts. It can make or break friendships. But as he’s grown to fear, it can’t fix everything. He can’t fix everything. The blue Gem’s features twist with simmering fury. “Peridot, I told you to let me go!” she hollers, and in a single jerk rips herself away from the shorter Gem’s desperate embrace. Her wings swing like a whip behind her as her body follows the motion through. It’s enough of a shock to the system that his sense of awareness comes rushing back. He ducks, the water swishing right over his head. Something behind him snaps and clatters to the ground. Ruby presses a bejeweled hand to her face, muttering something he can’t distinguish. “‘Kay, I’m out,” Amethyst cuts in through the chaos, throwing her hands up. “Y’all are whack, this whole convo is whack, and I can’t deal with any of this right now.” Not wasting a single second, she tucks herself into a ball and super-speeds it out of the barn. Mouth caught in a tiny, helpless ‘o,’ Steven whisks around, only barely catching a glimpse of her retreat before he spots the damage. It’s one of Lapis’s morps, that wooden hanger displaying all the baseball paraphernalia. Now it lies rejected on the floorboards, one of the strings broken and the bat rolling towards Peridot’s feet. He watches, feeling lambasted with regret for his role in sparking this argument, as the green Gem’s face cripples much like the structural integrity of that meep-morp. She blinks away the threat of tears and quickly averts her gaze from the group, bending to pick up the bat before clutching it to her chest in a protective manner. The water Gem huffs and storms out of the barn as well, fists unyielding at her side. Heart pounding amidst all the uncertainty of this fraught situation, Steven scuttles after her. Come on, think! he snaps at himself, chewing pensively at his lip. There has to be a way he can still save this, a way he can stop his family from splintering apart yet again... “Lapis,” Ruby begins, delicately edging towards her. “No, stop,” she holds up a hand. Her expression— as nebulous and hard to ascertain as always— is caught at some weird nexus between blinding anger, terror, and... is that guilt he spies? “Stop talking! I’m not asking any of you to change my mind. I’m leaving, and all of you should be too!” Turning on her heels, she squares her stance and flares her wings to their full width in preparation for her flight. Just before those watery wings can beat downwards, propelling her lithe form away from his world forever, he leaps forward. Dares to grab her wrist. She sharply inhales, briefly tugging against him before she notices who the hand belongs to and falls slack in his hold. Static assails his mind as he assesses every angle of this jerk-moment decision. What on earth is he doing? (He can practically feel Ruby and Peridot’s anxious, curious gaze drilling into him from behind, and they’re not even in his line of sight. No matter what happens, this is all on him. No one else.) “I-I, um,” he stammers at first, desperately scouring his brain for the right words to say. “Please, I’m... You don’t have to be scared like this. I may have her gem, but I’m not her!” Lapis gives a shaky sigh. Her wings droop right along with her shoulders, the persistent burden of thousands of years of captivity evident within her posture. Waiting in the shadow of her silence, his focus falls on the gemstone adoring her back, that smooth, glossy teardrop. Golly, somehow it doesn’t feel that long ago at all that her gem was cracked, and— scared, angered, and confused— she lashed out in much a similar way. “I’ve always known you’re not your mom, Steven,” she says lowly, still not meeting his gaze. “This- this isn’t about that!” “Then... what is it about?” She growls in frustration, clenching her fists as she yanks her wrist away from his grip. “Have none of you been listening to me?” “Have you been listening to us?” Peridot mutters flatly from behind him.

Lapis shoots her a sour look, but continues, pacing across the grass as she speaks. “If one diamond was able to fool an entire empire into thinking she was a quartz for thousands of years,” she says, gesticulating to emphasize her words, “then- then how do we know the other Diamonds aren’t already here doing the same, already watching from a distance, just waiting to shatter us for everything we’ve done??” The sharpened words echo across the fields, familiar bird calls cut short as even nature falls silent in their sway. Steven stands motionless, her paranoia-tinted prophecy sinking in through his flesh despite all efforts otherwise, sowing roots in the darkest corners of his mind that he dare not peep into. When no one responds, the blue Gem exhales, lowering her face to the ground. “I’ve let my guard down too much here, I’ve let myself grow soft. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” He swears he hears a note of disappointment laced between the layers of her uneven breath, or perhaps it’s heartbreak. He can’t tell. Despite his usual aptitude at interpreting others’ feelings, Lapis is consistently hard to read. And it’s this very thought, this subtle dissonance from the expected in her intentions, that encourages him to reach out one last time. Her wings flare out again. Blood and hard light thrum at an almost dizzying pace through his parallel veins. It’s now or never.

“Lapis, wait!” he calls, palm open wide. “Please, please don’t leave! Not now, not like this.” Their world crystallizes into ice as he vies to meet her fears head on. There’s no sunlight, no bird calls, no wind, no Ruby and Peridot behind him. No more untimely distractions. Only Lapis, desperate and hurting amid the heart of the storm she created. She holds her wings taut, ready for flight, hovering at the edge of her metaphoric tower. Breath trembling, she glances behind. The sheer complexity of emotion Steven discovers in those sea blue irises almost makes his eyes water. Cautiously, he steps forward.

“Maybe you’re right,” he begins, fidgeting with his shirt’s bottom hemline. His fingers briefly brush against the edge of his gem as he does so, and he jerks them away in blind rebellion of this reminder. “Maybe this planet never will be completely safe. Maybe nothing ever goes to plan. But the Crystal Gems have survived this long because they stood together instead of breaking apart. A-and... I know you don’t think of yourself as a Crystal Gem,” he cuts in quickly with a placating gesture, noticing the question forming on her lips, “but please-! With everything else that’s happening, I really, really still want you in my life.”

Tightly, she wrings her fingers around her opposite arm, face dipping dolefully towards the soft soil squishing up between her bare toes. “Steven, I...” “I can’t promise you’ll be safe on Earth, but I can promise you won’t have to be alone,” he says, voice thick. “Please.” Stay, he mouths, his body nearly shaking in fear of how she’ll respond, of all the inner thoughts flooding through her mind he’ll never wholly decipher. Their gaze locks, souls laid bare to each other as they engage in a rapid-fire dialogue no other creature of this world will ever be privy to.

If you can't stay for yourself, he cries silently, can’t you stay for me?

The seconds are punctuated only by the reverberant tremor of his heartbeat, as he stands upon a precipice in wait of her pivotal, defining answer.

Eventually, her expression softens. She folds her wings, standing down.

“Fine,” she spits. “I’ll wait and see what happens... for now. But if I ever find out any of the Diamonds are inbound, or worse? I’m out of here.”

A stiff gust of wind rushes past, threading through her hair and causing her dress to undulate like mid-ocean waves. Shadow obscures her face.

“I’m not getting pulled into another war.” Giving no further explanation, she turns tail and storms past the tent, past the rickety fence bordering her and Peridot’s barn, and into the overgrown wildflower field beyond. Once she’s reached a far enough distance, she extends her wings and begins to fly, hastily disappearing beyond the tree-line. Everyone stares at the thick swath of forest she escaped to with dumbfounded shock at first, no one quite sure how to proceed after that bomb of a conversation stopper. Ruby mutters something under her breath, clear frustration coloring her voice. Behind him, he hears Peridot reverently set the bat down on the barn’s floor.

“I’m... gonna go find her, and help her calm down,” she says. Clutching her hands close to her chest, she passes him and Ruby and begins her long, flightless trek into the Beach City woods. Steven himself migrates towards the grassy patch beyond the pool, and falls to his knees amongst the dandelions growing there. Most of them are still flowering, their lithe golden yellow petals fanning out from the head. A few on a separate plant are white and puffy, though, ready to disperse seeds. He’s drawn to one in particular, a seedhead that’s already missing half of its progeny. Biologically, he knows it’s a good thing that those seeds have flown away and might get a chance to germinate elsewhere, but regardless the sight of this lonely, barren dandelion strikes a dour note. Was he wrong, asking Lapis to stay? Could she eventually heal and become happier, leaving the burden of this place? He swallows hard, gripping the balding seedhead between two fingers and decisively plucking it off the stem. A few more seeds blow off with the disturbance, their feathery parachutes falling into the arms of the wind.

Lapis...

What if his selfishness is only holding her back?

And then there’s Amethyst to worry about. There’s no point overextending the sad dandelion metaphor to fit her situation, because hers is something entirely unique. She’s still in his life, just emotionally closed-off. Bitter. Avoidant. Unfairly antagonistic to others. By inviting her out here he hoped she might take the opportunity to kick back and blow off some steam, but now, after watching her abruptly leave the group a few minutes ago, he’s worried this trip only succeeded in further stressing her out.

A gem adorned hand falls upon his shoulder then, pulling him to the present. With a startled yelp, he tosses the dandelion into the grass as he flinches away. His heart drums uncontrollably, so much so that his cheeks burn with embarrassment when it dawns on him who this hand belongs to. He sucks in a shaky breath to calm himself down before allowing himself to sink into her comfort, glancing behind to meet Ruby’s tired, kind eyes. “Hey. Are you okay?” she asks. His tongue suddenly feeling as limp and dry as all the fallen leaves beginning to sprinkle the ground, he nods his head yes. In an overt betrayal of his response, his big, stupid, puffy eyes begin to water. Hurriedly, he wipes the burgeoning tears away with the butt of his palm. Frustration bubbles at his core. Since when was he such a crybaby? He’s cried far too much lately, and he’s sick of it. He rubs harder as the tears begin to fall anyways, his bottom lip quivering as he vies with every last ounce of control he still has to not look entirely pathetic. The skin around his eyes, sensitive and raw, begins to sting from the friction. Wordlessly, Ruby wraps her hands around his wrists and leads them away from his face. His chest tightens. He fails to choke back a sob as she pulls him into her embrace, his own arms trapped between them. She buries her face into the crook of his neck, and it’s then that he realizes with a shock of surprise that she’s crying too. Her quiet tears dampen his collar; her fingers clutch at the back of his shirt. “You don’t have to pretend to be strong for us all the time,” she says softly. “I wanna be here for you too, okay? It’s just like you said... no matter what, we stand together.” “But I- I have to go find her,” he chokes out, the words sticking in his throat in the most pathetic manner. “Who, Lapis? Peridot‘s prolly fine handling her on her own.” “No, I mean Amethyst. I saw her run off, an, and she’s been so upset today, and...” “Steven,” she says, leaning away and gently lifting his chin so he can’t avoid her compassionate gaze. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and honestly? A lot of it’s been our fault. You should take a moment to rest, okay?” Grinning, she ruffles his hair. “Enjoy the breeze! Climb a tree! Kick back for once. I’ll check on Amethyst this time.”

He hoarsely whispers an ‘okay’ as he sits back on his heels in the sun and watches her run off, allowing the wind to whip through his curls. Sighing, he splays his fingers just above the grass, allowing their tips to gently tickle his palm as they brush back and forth, and futilely tries to convince himself he’s cultivated enough good into the world today to deserve this break.

[greenjudy]

Inquisitor Ask Meme

Reposting this for fun.

Anyone else want to take a crack? What kind of Inky would you be?

@allsortsoflicorice? @tyramir ? Bueller?

1. Race:

Human.

2. Class/Specialization:

Rift mage.

3. Your homeland?

The Free Marches. Wycome, to be precise. 

4. Your family?

Keep my family out of this; they have things to do besides die.

5. Who were you before?

A Circle Mage of some skill and much fear. Given my personality, the Circle would probably not cater to my strengths. It would make me more nervous and paranoid than I already am. The Inquisition would force me out of my comfort zone and give me some resilience I would never otherwise develop. Left to my own devices, I’d fall prey to obsession, and possibly possession by a Pride demon.  

6. Would you be religious?

I’ve read a lot of books by Brother Genitivi and Philliam! A Bard; I’m actually using my clout as Inquisitor to gather whatever is known about the Black City. You might say I’m an originist, I want to know where we came from; Andraste is kind of late on the scene for my interests. 

Post-Trespasser, this quest will more or less eat my brain.

Short answer: obsessed with “religious” subject matter, not religious per se. 

7. Do you have a mabari?

Nope. But I spoil Cullen’s baby. 

8. Your opinion on other races?

Raised to “not be racist” (as far as that goes) in cosmopolitan, edgy, free-wheeling Wycome; family with a ton of Dwarven trading connections. Angry about the elves. Knew loads of elven enchanters in the Circle, but I have awkward awareness of human privilege around the Dalish. 

Fascinated by the Shaperate. Wish all Thedas had those. Can you imagine? 

Worried about the Qun, but deeply impressed with the handful of Qunari I’ve met in person. Not mindless drones at all. Disciplined. Community first has some virtues, must say. 

9. What would Varric’s nickname for you be?

Baffler.

10. What would your tarot card look like?

The High Priestess: an older, abbess-looking chick standing at a scriptorium, surrounded by magical paraphrenalia and a gorgeous view out my high window. Raven (with message) standing on the windowsill.

11. Where would you hang out in Skyhold?

My bespoke mage tower, if I’m not in the Undercroft picking Dagna’s brain. Do a little weeding in the herb garden from time to time; we’re growing some fascinating things in there. 

After Solas leaves, I’d go spend time in the destroyed holding cells, watching the water fall.  

12. What would you do for fun?

Study. Knit. Paint. Visit my horses; the smell of horses is very comforting. 

I’d have highly technical arguments with Dorian and spend a lot, a lot, a lot of time talking to Solas.

13. What armor would you wear?

Cutting-edge tactical enchanted fabric. Light, layered, tweedy, enchanted.

I’d probably get sucked into magical materials research, specifically, making improvements to armor base-layers. I’m obsessed with armor. I have a whole research group (headed by Dagna, Cullen consulting) devoted to armor improvement.

14. What would your room look like?

Given the state of my current room, a chaotic mess of books, papers, research tools, letters from colleagues, blueprints, schematics, dirty dishes, orchids, and automata (Josie and I would be doll-geeks together).

15. Who would be your friends at Skyhold?

I try to make sure that the Inner Circle understands how much I appreciate them as a general rule. 

As for friends: 

Cassandra is one of the great ones. Just about the best person I know. Never met anyone so ready to acknowledge her mistakes. I’d trust her to be the next Divine. 

Dorian is a dear. One of the best sounding-boards. Somebody peel that man a grape. 

Cullen and Josephine are terrific advisors, couldn’t ask for better, their own problems of course, we’re all doing our best. I’d like to know Cullen better—suspect we have things, Circle things, to talk about. In another life, maybe. 

I’d get on with Varric—everyone gets on with Varric, come on—but I find him ultimately very armored, hard to know. Hid his best friend, didn’t he? Never talks about the lady he loves. 

Sera is actually easy to understand. Raw genius with a bow, one of the best to have along, out in the field. Not exactly my friend. So down on the Dalish. It’s her business, though. She and Dagna are adorable together. She makes Dagna happy, that’s good enough for me. 

I have a bit of a GP for the Iron Bull. (He had me at “front-line bodyguard.”) Never acted on it, though.

Solas is my… see… well, see below. 

16. Would you have any friends outside of the Inquisition?

I’d have the Thedas version of LinkedIn comrades in Antiva, Nevarra, and Orlais—researchers all. Plus one brilliant friend who’s a materials mage based out of Denerim, working with Sandal on woven metal enchantments; call her my “knitting buddy.”

17. Who wouldn’t you get along with?

Leliana would trouble me. Don’t like having someone this emotional and vindictive managing our intel networks. It’s bad juju, Ambassador; can’t trust her judgment, can you? And that feels like a loose end. Put us in a tight spot someday. Couldn’t we ask Varric…? No, I quite see that. Still. 

I’d understand Vivienne, and try to maintain a cordial relationship because I think most of her head is in the right place, even though she is entirely too power-oriented for a real friendship. 

Blackwall’s “find Darkspawn, kill them, repeat” approach would bother me. When I found out the truth about him, it would confirm my feeling that you need to lie to yourself, a lot, to just have enemies and kill them without compunction. I would also find myself highly influenced by Solas’s take on the Wardens. 

18. Who would you romance?

I’m a Circle mage who’s watched close friends be tormented by romantic love. Demonic possession and Tranquility. Babies taken away. This is not the kind of conditioning that disappears just because you take me out of a Circle. In my youth I worked it out by restricting myself to impossible love objects—there was this one Templar, very stern, very disciplined…he’d barely speak to me… Well. That was many years ago. 

That said, the best impossible love object I’ve ever encountered in my life is Solas. 

What does it matter, really? Bonds of friendship, don’t you know; romantic love leads to envy demons. I’m old now, at any rate. Inquisigeezer not exactly a romanceable character. 

19. Would you do pranks with Sera?

Probably not. Too busy. Too tired. Feel too much sympathy for her innocent victims. 

But I would do operations with Sera, with pleasure. 

20. Would you sleep with the Iron Bull (casually if not romance)?

My front-line bodyguard? Get on with you. It would get too complicated—for me, I mean, not him. 

21. Would you keep Cole around?

Yes. And I’d agonize about what would be the best path for him to take, and probably make him a spirit.

22. Can you play the game (politics)?

Yes. I’m better at it the more distant it is. If you’re talking about what to say at a party, I’ve developed a persona for that sort of thing. Stakes are high. Can’t be fooling around. A mage, remember? This guard drops, I get possessed; lose my temper, might incinerate you, can’t have that. 

23. What would be on your tombstone in the fade (What are you afraid of)?

“The world fell apart on my watch.”

24. Who would you recruit to seal the breach?

Mages. I understand mages. Their leadership’s been simply awful. Not sure what Fiona did with her spine. Without decent leadership, it’s mages running amok, trying to protect themselves, doing awful things out of fear; can’t have that, they’ll pull their own house down. Get them out of the weeds, stick ‘em in the Inquisition, give them a chance to show what they can do for the right cause. 

25. Opinion on Mages versus Templars?

It’s all about training, though, isn’t it? Templars and mages both need much, much better training. Without training, without a penetrating education with a solid grasp of magical theory, history, ethics—co-train the mages and templars, make ‘em take core courses together. Make them work together in strike teams; I’ve been doing that since we recruited ‘em, they actually partner well, as long as you’re not, you know, mad.

I would become obsessed (do you see the recurrence of this word) with the idea that mages could be Seeker-trained to resist possession and mind control, obviating the need for Tranquility. These disciplined (another key word) and trustworthy mages could be placed in a position of joint authority with properly educated Templars to create a College of Magi with research cells all over Thedas…

Yeah. We’ll see how that works out.

26. Who would be put in charge of Orlais and why?

Celine and Briala. Celine is the one with the right temperament, and for some reason I viscerally understand Briala. I’m all about reparations and integrating elven populations and something something protect the Dalish (can’t we actually give them the Dirth?).

27. Would you sacrifice the Chargers?

I couldn’t.

28. Would you go after Blackwall?

Oh, yes. And I’d keep him on, as Thom Rainier. 

29. Would you drink from the well?

Knowing me? Not knowing the implications except for those vague warnings? Yes, I would, and it would affect me for the rest of my life. 

I’d spend what’s left of myself using whatever insight and connections the Well gave me to work on Solas. 

30. Where would you go if the Inquisition was disbanded?

Under ordinary circumstances, the College. Daresay they’d want me to do something draining and administrative because of my being the (ex)Inquisitor; I’d look for a research niche but probably not get to keep it. 

Solas is not ordinary circumstances. I’d dedicate the rest of my life to that problem. 

31. How do you react to the egg telling you he is an elven god? 

I’d naively and arrogantly imagine that I could—if we could just get enough time to sit down together—he must understand what he’s likely to bring about, he needs people to talk to, dammit—

He would be the death of me, I’m afraid.

[9r7g5h]

I have come to the conclusion that none of this happened. Liam properly hid his magic, Amethar was crowned Emperor and quickly set up a council to run the country, and everyone's alive and dandy. Caramellinda was called to come join her husband, and she's able to get over her mistrust of the outside world to join up with Primbalina to become an awesome duo ruling the country, with Amethar as their front and hype man.

Jet and Ruby stay in the capital with their parents for a bit longer, during which Jet and Anabelle begin a whirlwind romance. It doesnt start that way, it starts as just hero worship from Jet and Anabelle agreeing to train her, but they spend more time together and become closer and closer until one day Anabelle pins Jet against the wall with her sword, and one second they're trading barbs about how the other fought, and the next they're making out in the otherwise empty room. They make no promises, come to no agreements, and dont even talk about things for a long while, only having fantastic make out sessions after each training.

Ruby spends her time secretly learning magic from Theo and Lapin and even Liam, soaking up everything she can. When her sister goes off for her "training sessions" (which she totally knows is just code for making out with Anabelle. She's slightly jealous, because she did technically see Anabelle first, but overall she's just glad her sister is happy), she wanders around the capital with the Tart Guard in tow, looking for something to keep herself entertained. She eventually finds a performance troupe, and finds herself falling into her own kind of love. Both with the physics defying stunts the performers are doing, and with a young fructarian, a non-binary peach. The two of them become close friends, the romance that will blossom between them on the slower side, especially because of their differences in status. But Ruby is second in line, and she's happy with taking her time, just excited to see their smile and feel the warmth of their hand in her own.

Liam is always so confused about what he's supposed to be doing on the council, and half the time he just accidently offends people. It doesnt help that he gets another letter from his brothers, claiming that he's fully turned against the family by joining their enemies. But he like Amethar and Jet and Ruby more then his father and brothers, so he just shrugs and waits for someone to tell him what to do. And after a long talk with Caramellinda, they figure out the perfect position for him - Master of the Harvest. Usually a position that goes towards one of the more plant based people, its agreed upon that his knowledge of seeds, of all types, greatly surpasses those of many others, especially for his young age. So he's given a group of guards who understand the magic of druidcraft (which Brennan did say was allowed) and sent off on missions to inspect the crops from each region, returning frequently with reports and his bag full of seeds to show off to his favorite cousins. He has a brief engagement with Primsey, but she's too in love with her lost beu, and he's honest with the fact that he doesnt want to have sex and so wont be able to give her kids. She fully accepts that, and they still stay great, amazing friends. He's always welcomed in her home in the Dairy Islands. Eventually, while it's just him and Preston and his guards for a long while, he does find a kindred spirit in a meat person, a Turkey druid who also doesnt want romance or sex but would love to be held and loves seeds. They strike up a very quick friendship, and soon become the closest either will ever be to a couple. Best friends, traveling the world to look at seeds, holding hands cause they're both aro ace and dont care if people think they're gay.

Lapin manages to keep his secrets from the world at large, though his companions all know the truth, eventually. He works in secret to undermine the Bulb, and allow other religions to sneak their way into being acceptable again. It takes a long time, but eventually he succeeds, in a fashion. The Bulb is still seen as the supreme god, but the Sugarplum Fairy and the Carnivorous Creatures and all the others we dont know about are more seen messengers of the Bulb. Holy in their own right, fighting against The Hungry One in their own right, made of and from the Bulb, if not the Bulb themselves. The true believers of these other religions just roll their eyes and nod, but hey - its progress, and the magic granted by these other beings slowly beings to sink back in and return to Calorum. Lapin is able to eventually relax into his true passion - arguing with that dumb brute of a body guard and teach the future children.

Speaking of the brute, Theo continues to enjoy his job. He loves being a guard, loves training other guards, and when they're still at the capital, he loves training Ruby and Jet. When they're gone, he throws himself into training everyone else, and honestly enjoys himself. He is a war guy, though he's fully adapted to peace, and is just happy to see how the word continues to prosper. When he's not working, he fight with Lapin, drinks and plays games with Amethar, and goes on long walks with Sprinkle. He's an old man, gets to be Lapin's age, though their advanced ages doent stop either of them from constantly going at each other, and just enjoys his life in the capital. He sometimes regrets not having his own family, but the remembers that he does, they're just named the Rocks.

Going back to where we left off the Rocks, rules of Candia, soon enough ways must be parted. Liam's gotten used to saying goodbye to Ruby and Jet, so when its decided that Jet must return home and take up the mantal of Queen, its not hard for him. It is for everyone else, though. Theo is torn about letting this little spitfire go home alone, and Lapin is sure she needs at least another decade of schooling before she'll be ready. Caramelinda is of the same mind, and would go back to continue ruling instead if she wasnt so integral to ruling the rest of the world. Amethar is sure Jet will do fine, she's great, but this is his little girl. He's had to leave a few times, yes, but she's never had to leave him. It's hard.

And Ruby. The two talk for a long, long time, but eventually decide to part ways. Just for now, of course, nonetheless, they have different paths to walk. Ruby is starting a life here in the capital, with their parents and her peach datemate, and it really seems like the circus thing is going to stick. And in court, the few times she's sat in on a meeting, she's been able to provide the common point of view, which has been severely lacking. She likes being helpful, in a non-stressful kind of way. And so, even though she knows Jet needs to go take her place as Queen of Candia, she wants to stay.

And Jet is hurt, because she's the only one in the family who has to leave, and she at least thought Ruby would come with her. But, instead of trying to force her, or find a way to stay, Jet, instead, hits the books. She begins searching through everything she can, putting off her return one more week ("I guess Cal has a decent hold on things for the moment," Emperor Amethar agreed when she told him her plans) to find what she needed. And what she needed was a long distance messaging spell, that Lapin helped to modify. A tether between the two, one they could open at any time, to allow them to speak to each other whenever they wanted. A twin messager, if you would, that allowed them to always be with each other.

That done, Jet said her goodbyes to her family, and went to say her lost goodbye to the woman who has stolen her heart. Only to find her gone, Captain Anabelle Cheddar's ship having set sail in the middle of the night. She kept a straight face, though the moment she was on the road, alone besides the Tart Guarda and the Imperial Soliders her dad had sent with her, Jet opened the channel with Ruby and cried.

It was a rough week of traveling. Not because of any danger, no, it was smooth on that front. But because for the first time in her life, she was going to be alone. It was easier, having Ruby to still talk to, to pass along messages to their parents and friends, but still, it hurt to not have an actual hug when her heart was breaking.

It hurt so bad, she didnt notice the strange ship at port when they passed through their one town that accessed the ocean, only a day's meep ride away from the castle. She didnt notice the strange visitors who joined the crowds there to welcome her home – she was so focused on keeping an excited face.

She only noticed when she entered the throne room, calling for Cal, the only adult figure currently in her life who could give her a hug and promise everything was going to be ok.

Only then did she notice Captain Anabelle Cheddar, playing with a knife as she sat on her throne, ignoring the guards who were trying to scold her. Anabelle, who looked up as Jet entered, and greeted her with a giant smile, welcoming and excited to see her. Anabelle who stood, walked over, and pulled her into a long, deep kiss.

Both of them would soon come to reconsider their positions on marriage, if they could marry the woman next to them. Lapin would get to work, poking and prodding the church to make it allowed, and with Amethar blessing this union, they made it work.

And Amethar? Being Emperor was hard, though less so with support. He learned how to show Caramelinda that he appreciated her, learned how to be a better husband and kind, learned what his actual duties were to the people under his command. Something he should have done a long time ago, but just hadn’t had the will to do so. But now everything was in his court, literally, and he had to do what was right.

And he fell back in love with Caramelinda, all over again. They had been in love before, back when he was fifth in line, before the war. But then time and distance had parted them for so long, and he had fallen for another, a young woman from the Dairy Islands. They had met, married, had their wedding night before war had once again parted them. He finally sat down with Jack, and got the full story – a bit over a year later, the young dairy woman had married a young farmer, they had had children of their own, and a decade ago she had passed from some cheese illness Amethar couldn’t even pretend to understand. He was sad, but was glad that she had had a good life, since he had loved her, in the way that death and violence and needing someone to be there grew a kind of love.

But that was done now. Not gone, but like a closed book, and with that closure, the part of Amethar that had been resisting the life he now had felt a little bit more settled. He still hated every bit of being king, still played hooky with Cal when he visited from being Candia’s advisor or Theo whenever he could, but he tried. He showed Caramelinda how much he appreciated her, and actually finally learned how to read, and figured out names and stations so he could help make the world a better place, and it was worth it.

It was worth it to fall back in love with Caramelinda, to actually feel the flips in his stomach that she used to give him, back before when he was young and before war had broken something inside of him. It was worth it to see that smile of hers, and know that she was feeling it too, the love they had both wanted and struggled for for the last twenty years. It was worth it to kiss his wife and actually be happy.

And damn it, if Gustav’s last prank was to make him responsible for the entire world, then at least he was by the side of the best of wives and best of women, Caramelinda of the house of Rocks.

And it was worth it, in the end. It was worth it to help Lapin out whenever he could, slowly reshaping the church so it better fit the world they were making. It was worth it to watch Theo train the next generation of guards into a fighting force that almost surpassed himself, guards loyal and loving and just as kind and as great a friend as Theo was himself.  It was worth it to see Liam grow into a confident young man, sure of himself, instrumental in helping to ensure the continent was properly fed. It was worth it to watch Ruby become a master performer and spy, passing on the commoner’s thoughts of him and his empire so adjustments could be made, so the masses could be protected and cared for and satisfied without fear. In fact, many sought out Ruby, knowing she had the Emperor’s ear, and could pass on what they were scared to say to his face, for even though he was a good, kind ruler, a fear of rulers still existed. It was worth it to see Queen Jet and Queen Consort Anabelle rule his old home with kindness and love, their union having strengthened the Candian alliance with the Dairy Islands.

It was worth it, as age crept in, to sit there, holding hands with the love of his life, watching as a chocolate milk girl wrestled with a cobbler boy, all while two little cheesecake children slept in their laps. It was worth it to lean over and kiss Caramelinda’s cheek, to see the love pouring from her as they watched over their grandchildren, knowing that soon their friends and the rest of their family would be in one room again, and that none of them would ever have to be war people. It was worth it to know that, because of their efforts, all they would know was peace, and if the most these children ever became was a ruler, or a performer, or a knight, or a warlock, or a seed guy, all because of their efforts?

It was enough.

Except for poor Thad who, as far as they knew, was still in the alley.

[barnesandco]

Comfort Food

The Avengers catch Bucky indulging in a questionable snack. They are intrigued. Sam is horrified.

Pairing: None. SamBucky if you squint really hard.

Warnings: Swearing. Love Island hate, none of which is personal. I'm sorry! I needed something to ridicule and this particular reality show drew the short straw for my fic.

A/N: This is a crackpot of an idea I had when I thought about Bucky eating P.B. and chocolate like Seb does, after having a conversation with @buckyreaderrecs . Hope it brings a smile to your day because I don't know what else it's good for.

“What the actual fuck, man?” Sam gapes at Bucky from the doorway to the common room. He's sitting on the floor, legs splayed out under the coffee table, back against the couch, but that isn't what's bothering Sam. Or the other, less mouthy, but just as awestruck Avengers standing behind him, still covered with dirt and dried blood (little of which is theirs) from the mission they have just returned from. No, Sam's expletive-laden surprise is aimed at two things.

One, he is wondering exactly why Bucky is watching what he is. Reality television. And it's not just any old reality TV show. Not at all. Sam thinks he could have tolerated, say, something like Real Housewives, or the Bachelor, or even Keeping up with the Kardashians. But no, it had to be Love Island. The horror. Needless to say, Sam hates Love Island. Avoids it like the plague, claims it disgusts him to no end. Nat tells him it's his innate phobia of romantic commitment speaking. He argues that this particular dating serial promotes the opposite of commitment. But that's not the point here.

The point is that Bucky, for a reason Lord only knows, is watching that literal shitshow. Sam momentarily fears he's been possessed. More realistically, he considers the injury and subsequent orders to sit their latest mission out hit him too hard, and he's desperate for a distraction. That's the only reason anyone would turn to that godawful excuse for a TV series, right? Right. 

He’s now on his feet, looking at them as if he hasn't decided what his strategy for tackling the situation will be. Should he cross his arms, raise his chin, and defiantly act as if there is nothing out of the ordinary here? As if it is perfectly normal for super-powered, super-lethal, broody ex-assassins to sit around watching terrible reality TV that exists only to kill the traditional sentiment of love and relationships? Or should he look sheepish, shuffle his feet, and avert his eyes in the hope that his apparent shame will make them take pity on him so they don't question his actions? 

It’s highly unlikely that either option will lead to them leaving him alone, because it's going to take a lot to stifle their curiosity towards the family-sized Kit-Kat wrappers, and two empty jars of peanut-butter that are currently lying on the otherwise pristine coffee table. Not to mention the half-empty jar in Bucky's hand, which he doesn't quite know what to do with at the moment. And this is Sam's second concern, the one that made him greet one of his comrades with swear-words upon seeing him after a fortnight-long mission, despite their budding friendship. A friendship they both vehemently deny, provided the opportunity, but one that exists regardless.

“Have you been eating peanut-butter out of the jar?” Clint voices the question that's on everybody's minds, and is answered with nothing but a wry smile from Bucky. Not that it needs to be; the evidence speaks for itself.

“We go away for two weeks and you lose it completely? What the hell, dude? Did you hit your head on that mission?” Sam rants, eventually breaking the absolute silence. 

Perhaps it's the frantic expression of genuine panic in Sam's tired, bloodshot eyes. Perhaps it's Clint's dad-like tone, like he's caught one of his own kids red-handed doing something they shouldn't be. Perhaps it's the sight of the Avengers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes, still in uniform, exhausted beyond belief, standing in their everyday common room with amusement and mild confusion on their faces. Perhaps it's a combination of the aforementioned, that causes Bucky to burst into laughter. Pure, unadulterated laughter. The kind that bursts from your lungs and makes you double over, and leaves your stomach aching when it's over. It's a wonderful, booming sound, and it increases exponentially every time he glances back at his teammates to see them looking back at him like he's grown another head, arm, and leg. Eventually, the laughter fades, and he straightens back up again, next to the others.

He wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, and addresses them properly.

“Peanut-butter and chocolate's my… comfort food.” Bucky says slowly, composing himself, struggling to remember the exact term Shuri used to explain the mountain of junk food piled up in her living room when he FaceTimed her the other day. It was her way of coping with the increase in demand from Wakanda's science division due to T'Challa's efforts to integrate Wakanda internationally.

“Since when? And no it’s not. No, man, no. Just no. Pizza is comfort food. Taco is comfort food. KFC is comfort food. Hell, I'll accept club sandwiches. Anything but this.” Sam insists, gesturing wildly at the carnage on the coffee table, almost stomping his feet. Bucky doesn’t seem to have fully grasped the concept of comfort food, and this puts a serious dent in Sam’s impatient plans for helping Bucky catch up to the 21st century.

“What is it?” Vision muses, coming closer to see what's sticking out of the jar Bucky just put down. It's a piece of Kit-Kat. Wanda's face lights up, and she walks up to him.

“Oh my God. You put Kit-Kat in the peanut-butter and eat it? That's genius!” She exclaims, and promptly removes a piece of the chocolate covered in peanut-butter and eats it. “This is delicious.” Wanda moans, reaching for the jar, but Bucky yanks it out of her reach. 

“Go make your own, Wanda. This one's mine.” He says, reestablishing his claim on the unfinished "snack". 

“Delicious? It's disgusting. And you stay away from that shit unless you can handle the sugar-rush, because I can't deal with teenagers high on P.B. and Kit-Kat.” Sam warns, rubbing the bridge of his nose, seemingly still struggling to process what's occurring before his very eyes.

“Um, speaking of teenagers, where did Peter go?” Nat says, looking around. She is undoubtedly worried that he's gone to make his own variant of Bucky's treat. Sugar-rush isn't a strong enough word to describe what happens when that kid gets some sweets in him, and nobody wants to be around when he does.

“I'm up here, Agent Romanoff! There was some more peanut butter and chocolate in the pantry, and this really is delicious.” Peter says from the ceiling, holding his own jar, in which chunks of chocolate are visible. 

“Is there more left?” Scott asks him, craning his sore neck to look up at him, simultaneously rubbing it to ease the ache. 

“Not you too, Scott.” Sam groans, rubbing his hand down his face. He captains a group of children. Total children. 

“What?! I want to try some. Can I share with you, Peter?” Scott continues, face lighting up when Peter nods, holding the jar out for him to take from. 

“Sure. Just a bit, though. I'm starving.” The rest of the team, who had managed to disappear unnoticed, return with a few jars of peanut-butter to share between them, each clutching their own spoons. Sam rolls his eyes, and thinks that if he has to do so one more time, they’ll disappear into the back of his head. Better than having to witness more of these crimes against food, he supposes. Crimes that are being endorsed by his Avengers, who look all too comfortable as they plop down on the sofa around Bucky, in full mission-gear, unbothered by his disbelieving glare. Some people have no taste.

“Come on, Sam, try it. It's good.” Bucky teases, but actually offers the sparse remains of his own jar to Sam, contradicting his earlier statement in favor of dragging Sam to the dark side. He stands his ground.

“Crazy. Every last one of you. I'm going to shower and then sleep, and hopefully not remember any of this tomorrow.” Sam declares, turning on his heel to do precisely what he said, and looks forward to writing off tonight as a bad, bad dream. 

[hobi-gang]

community | knj/ot7

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 – an unlikely group of people at a Greendale Community College form an unlikely Spanish study group. One thing Kim Namjoon wants to know about the standoffish girl from Spanish class is; "What's her deal?".

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 – pure crack, humor, community college au, angst if you squint, they’re all 100% stupid

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 – knj x reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 – 9.5k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 – mentions of aspergers, mentions of past drug abuse, namjoon is a bit of a dick oops, smoking (cigarettes)

𝐚/𝐧 – this is like... a straight up copy of the pilot to the tv show ‘community’, but i desperately wanted to see bts in that hilarious enivornment. i do not own the show ‘community’ nor do i own bts. this is just straight up crack. mcthank you.

"What is 'community college'?" A voice blared through the speakers around the quad, causing many students to pause and look at Dean Bang on his small podium with his microphone at the center of the busy square, the stupidly bright sun shining a light on him and all his khaki and white button-up glory. "Oh, wait, that's... That's the wrong card, let me start over."

After an awkward moment had passed and Dean Bang had properly sorted his notes, he spoke up into the microphone again, "Okay, good morning! Many of you are halfway through your first week here at Greendale Community College and as your dean, I thought I'd share some thoughts of wisdom and inspiration," he smiles then continues, "What is 'community college'? I know most of you have heard that it's loser college for remedial teens."

At the mention of remedial teens, Jeon Jungkook, a young boy with dark brown hair and jock attire, stopped scanning the campus map for his English class and looked around himself to find the source of the voice behind the speakers, tugging on his Letterman jacket nervously.

"They say it's for 20-something dropouts."

____ looked up from her Spanish study book and her eyes fell on the Dean and his pathetically small podium, rolling her eyes at him and feeling somewhat attacked and embarrassed by his accurate but harmful words.

"Or middle-aged divorcees."

Kim Seokjin, a tall and straight-back young man with kind eyes, plump lips, and short brown hair stops reading the pamphlet in his hand given to him by a member of the Chess Club that passed him by, looking around to find who's voice was blaring from the quad speakers. I'm not middle-aged... am I? he asked himself thoughtfully.

"And old people keeping their minds active as they circle the drain of eternity."

Min Yoongi's ears perked up at the mention of that, sitting up on the bench that he was slowly falling asleep on. His light violet hair making him stand out, he pulled his hoodie over his head so only his face was visible through the opening, scowling at the words 'old people', being reminded of how often he gets called a grandpa by his classmates for his somewhat lazy demeanor. I'm not middle-aged... am I? he asked himself thoughtfully.

"That's what you've heard, however," the Dean grins excitedly, "I wish you luck!" He thrusts his arm into the air in a victory pose.

He looks around at the small number of students that had bothered to stay in the quad in front of his small podium, looking at them expectantly before realizing and looking at his cue cards, "Oh, okay. Uh-oh. There's actually more to this speech. Can you all look around your immediate areas," He asks the students awkwardly, "There's a middle card missing, I actually really wanted to finish that properly-"

"I'm actually fully Korean, the son of immigrants. My parents are U.S citizens now, but they're not threats to national security. A lot of people wanna know that because my dad has an angry energy but he's not angry at America, he's just angry at my mom for leaving him. Although she did leave him because he was angry and he was angry because she wasn't. My name's Taehyung by the way."

"Well, Taehyung," Namjoon says wearily, glancing next to him at the younger, slightly shorter boy with ridiculously bright blue hair and a boxy smile following him like an eager puppy around the quad, he shakes his hand, "It was nice to know you and then meet you, in that order," he says to him with raised brows, "Now, about that question that I asked?"

"Oh, it was," Taehyung checks his watch, "11:05 when you asked-"

"Taehyung," Namjoon says abruptly, raising his hand to stop the younger boy from walking beside him, nodding towards the young girl across the quad with her face stuffed in a book. "What's the deal with the hot girl from Spanish class?"

"I only talked to her once when she borrowed a pencil," Taehyung says monotonously which makes Namjoon deflate a bit but he is quickly impressed by what the younger boy says next.

"But her name's ____, she's 23, birthday in September. She has two older sisters and one of them teaches a dance class that I might wanna lookup. Oh, and she thinks she's gonna fail tomorrow's Spanish test so she really needs to focus and she's sorry if that makes her seem cold," Taehyung finishes his gesturing and his confident spewing of words, looking up at the older, pink-haired boy with no indication of emotion.

Namjoon's mouth hangs agape for a moment, "Holy crap, Taehyung," he says in awe, "I see your value now." He pats Taehyung on the shoulder and gives him a meaningful look before he turns to walk into the school, leaving the younger boy behind.

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!" Taehyung shouts to his older classmate as he's walking away, his finger pointed in the air as if for exclamation.

"Kim Namjoon, genius at law!"

"You gotta stop saying that, Lee Hyun... I'm kidding, keep going," Namjoon grins widely, closing the door behind him and stepping forward into his former client's cramped office to shake his hand across his wide, messy desk littered with papers and tools of all sorts.

"So," Hyun leans his arms atop the slew of papers on his desk and tilts his head slightly to look up at his much taller friend, "Tell me. What is my lawyer doing here?"

"Actually, I'm... a student now," Namjoon says with a timid smile, taking a seat on the couch of Hyun's office.

Hyun raises his eyebrows in surprise, "Well, that can't be an inspiring story."

"I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm in a bit of a kerfuffle... The state bar has suspended my license and they found out that my college degree was... less than legitimate." Namjoon confesses with as much confidence as he could muster, finding it difficult to spill the beans to his former client turned friend.

"I thought you had a degree from Columbia?" Hyun questions him, brows knit in confusion.

"Now I have to get one from America," Namjoon chuckles then sighs longingly, "And it can't be an email attachment."

"Well, you've picked a fine school," Hyun smiles, leaning back in his office chair with his arms crossed behind his head.

Namjoon snaps his fingers and agrees, "Yes! And I'm hoping that our friendship will yield certain advantages. You're the psychology professor, y'know, so I could really do with some academic guidance, maybe some moral support and... every answer to every test for every one of the classes that I'm taking this semester," Namjoon pulls a piece of paper from the breast pocket of his sport's jacket. "This is my schedule-" "Okay, Namjoon, just by asking that you are insulting the very integrity of this entire institution," Hyun chastises his friend, abruptly standing up which mildly alarms Namjoon but he is surprised to see Hyun grabbing a cane next to his desk and knocking on the window behind him. Through the open blinds and dirty windows, Namjoon can see the shape of a person that appeared to be urinating on a garbage skip. "Oi! Not a bathroom. Not. A. Bathroom." Hyun shouts out the window and then he scowls when the assailant quickly tucks their business away and runs off.

Namjoon exhaled noisily through his nose, "Hyun, you seemed less into integrity the day I convinced a dozen of your peers that when you made that U-turn on the freeway and tried to order hot wings from the emergency call box that your only real crime was loving America." He said with the hope that Hyun was finally going to turn over for him and help him cheat his way through college.

A moment passed and Hyun sighed, "I'll look into it."

"Thank you," Namjoon immediately took to his feet and reached over his friend's desk to shake his hand one last time. "Hyun, you are a good man." he smiled, going to the door.

Hyun rolled his eyes, "Namjoon, are you familiar with the adage 'cheaters never prosper'?"

The taller of the two scoffed and opened the door, "No, and if I wanted to learn something, I wouldn't have come to community college."

Hyun sighed and gave his friend a concerned look before waving him out of his office.

Namjoon found himself wandering the maze-like corridors of the school and ultimately ended up in the cafeteria. After purchasing a bottle of water and a suspiciously cheap packet of apple slices, Namjoon was lucky to spot a familiar head of soft brown hair. Walking over quietly, he steps closer to the girl from his Spanish class and spoke to her with an expression of surprise, "Oh, hey, Spanish?"

"Don't hit on me, okay?" the brown-haired girl answered with an annoyed tone, too engrossed in her work to even look up at the person speaking to her.

"I... wouldn't dream of it," he saved face, chuckling nervously. "I just wanted to let you know about... my Spanish study group!"

At the mention of a Spanish study group, she finally looked up and couldn't hold back the snicker bubbling inside of her at the prospect of who was standing right in front of her. Though his ego was a little hurt, he put on his charming smile paired with his signature dimples, almost as if he were modeling for her.

"Woah, the guy sitting in the back of class playing on his phone all day has a Spanish study group?" she gasps with faux excitement, raising a brow of suspicion at him. "Can I sign up twice?"

"Ha-ha," he precedes, "I'm taking the class for an easy credit, I'm actually a board-certified Spanish tutor," he says in a matter of factly manner to sound as convincing as possible.

"Can you say that in Spanish?" the brunette girl quickly responded.

Namjoon was stumped for a second but said the first few Spanish sentences that first came to his head. "Duermo tarde español, una hora más, no rasque mi coche," he said as smoothly as possible with a smirk. He didn't know it, but what he actually said was "I sleep late Spanish, one more hour, do not scratch my car," and he was praying that she didn't know either.

The look she was giving him was making him nervous, it was as if she knew he was lying and he was just about to tell her that he was lying until she slammed her book shut and leaned closer to him with wide, desperate eyes. "I really need help with Spanish," she confessed in a low voice.

"Yeah, I was willing to bet," Namjoon chuckled, extending his hand to her as a sign of goodwill. "I'm Namjoon by the way, or... Jefe," he smiled as she took his larger hand in her much smaller one. The comparison alone made his heart just a little bit more tender.

"The, uh, group meets in the library at four."

"I'm ____, and thanks." She smiles up at him, letting go of their handshake. She gathers her things and shoves them into her well-used canvas side bag and she stood up to leave.

"You're gonna be there, right?" he asks her and she just smirks at him one last time before turning her back on him and walking away.

"Un poquito más!" he shouted after her. "That means 'see you there'!"

Nope. It really meant 'a little more', but he could care less as long as she believed that he was right.

Namjoon sat alone at an eight-seater table in one of the library's study rooms, repeating the phrase for 'good afternoon' to himself in solitary, the library's population lowering as the minutes went by.

"Buenos tardes, buenos tardes, buenos tardes..." he repeated under his breath while tapping his pencil against the table, making sure he was right. With such a simple phrase, he couldn't get it wrong otherwise the hot girl from Spanish class would finally figure him out and he just can't let that happen.

"Hey," she enters the study room with a cheeky grin, her heavy bag slapping against her hip as she walked.

"Buenos tardes!" he says to her with pride, immediately straightening his posture and giving himself an internal high-five for getting it right, "Welcome to my Spanish study... uh, group. I've got the whole table."

"You've got the whole room," she adds with raised brows, taking the seat closest to him.

Namjoon digs around in his pocket for a piece of paper and he brings forth a crumpled chess club pamphlet that he remembers getting from the quad earlier that day. He flattens out the paper as best as he can before thrusting it towards her on the table along with his pencil. "Here's the, uh, contact sheet. Just put your number down there," he asks her and she snickers before accepting his pencil and jotting down her number.

Namjoon pretends to look around the room and out the doors to the rest of the library with exasperation, "Man, where's the rest of the group? They must be running late... But you and I can get acquainted in the meantime."

She finishes her jotting and puts the pencil on top of the paper before pushing it back towards Namjoon, "You might have noticed earlier in the cafeteria, I'm not that great at small talk."

"That's actually kinda great, I like big talk. What's your deal?" he smirks, leaning an elbow onto the table and raising his brows at her.

"That's not small talk?" she tilts her head to the side with a tight smile.

"What's your deal and is God dead?" he quickly adds to his previous question to make it fit her requirements.

She inwardly scoffs and lays her hands flat onto the table, "Okay, you wanna know my deal?" she asks him and he nods in response, "My deal is, above all else, honesty."

"Honesty..." Namjoon repeats, biting his cheek nervously.

"Yeah, if you're honest with me, I will like you. If you lie to me, I will never talk to you again. That's my deal."

With it all laid out in front of him, he felt compelled to tell her the truth. Sure, he may have lied to her before but he won't just lie to her now that she had just asked the truth of him so... He'd give her the truth. Well, an incomplete truth. It wasn't entirely lying but it wasn't entirely telling the truth either. It was a gray area, and as much as he liked this girl in front of him, he also liked having a smidge of integrity.

From the first day, he saw her in Spanish class and his attention was mostly on her throughout the entirety of each lesson. He'd look above the screen of his phone to watch her soft brown shoulder-length hair moving against her slender neck, he'd observe how her back was always straight and her shoulders were always pulled back. He also observed her unique and incredible fashion. He liked the bold, solid-colored sweaters and t-shirts and her high-waisted, wide-leg pants paired with stylish shoes of all kinds, all of it just made her hard to ignore, though she always carried the same, tattered canvas bag. Her sense of style clearly indicated that she preferred comfort over the other hundred pleasantries that women's fashion often offered, such as heels and skinny jeans. He liked that about her.

Today, her bright orange shirt and beige high-waisted, wide-leg pants only managed to highlight her feminine features more, making his focus and his breathing stray by just the smallest bit. The smallest. He didn't want to admit just how breathtaking she was, and she tended to take his breath away a lot without even trying and that's what was driving him to do whatever it took to keep her there in that study room with him, within reason of course.

"That's a pretty good deal," he told her honestly, irony aside.

"So," she crossed her arms over her chest, "what's your deal?"

"My deal?" Namjoon repeated, and she nodded in return.

The incomplete truth.

"I..." he looked at her and gulped, "I would, um, I would have to say... Uh, honesty. Because... I, uh, would say anything to get what I want and I-I want you to... To like me," for the first time since he had known her, and that hasn't exactly been a long time, he looked away in embarrassment and didn't look back up at her until she spoke up.

With a reluctant hmph, she says "That was a very honest answer. Okay, I like you now." And that makes his eyes widen in surprise.

"Really? Wow, you're easy," he says with disbelief, his heart slowing down just an ebb.

"Hey, guys!" someone spoke up behind Namjoon, making him turn in his chair to see that familiar head of bright blue.

The young brunette squealed with joy, "Taehyung in the house! Woo, yeah!" waving the blue-haired boy over excitedly.

"Woo!" Namjoon unenthusiastically whoops, brows knit in confusion watching as the boy grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and bringing it over to the table. "Woo! Woo-why?" he laughs confusedly.

Taehyung places his chair in the middle of both of their chairs, seating himself between the brunette girl and Namjoon. "Oh, ____ invited me! Is that cool?" he smiled, looking at the older boy with an oblivious smile.

"I can't think of a single logical reason why not!" Namjoon says through gritted teeth, a faux smile gracing his features. His eyes fall on the sheet of paper on the table, he immediately thrusts it towards the blue-haired boy, urging him to put his information on the paper.

"Cool... Cool, cool, cool," Taehyung murmured to himself as he slowly wrote his number down onto the paper. "This is kind of like Breakfast Club, huh?" Taehyung quips randomly.

"We are in a library," the brunette girl points out, patting Taehyung on the knee. Namjoon spotted that gesture out of the corner of his eye and felt the jealousy growing in his chest. Jealousy aside, he looks at Taehyung's number on the paper and he pulls his phone out, drafting a text to send to the blue-haired boy seated between him and the girl of his dreams.

"Yeah, I'm sure we've all got an issue balled up deep inside us that would make us cry if we talked about it," Taehyung says to his peers nonchalantly, but the worry etched on the brunette girl's features were all too serious.

She places a hand on his forearm and earnestly asks him, "Do you have something balled up inside of you?"

Taehyung looks up to the ceiling as if in thought and he responds, "Well, I do have a little doozy in the chamber if thing's get a little emotional."

Suddenly, Taehyung's phone pings and Namjoon puts his phone away, looking at the blue-haired boy expectantly, watching as the boy brings his phone out from his pocket and his eyebrows are raised in surprise, "Ooh, it's a text message! Let's give this bad boy a read," he says cheerily.

Namjoon panics, realizing that if he reads the text aloud, then the brunette girl sitting across from him would find out that it was him. "Oh, Taehyung," Namjoon says nervously, "I think it might be private."

"I've never gotten one of these before," Taehyung continues, ignoring the older boy's urgencies. Namjoon would've felt a little bit of pity in his chest at the sound of how sad that sentence actually was if it weren't for the fact that he was very close to being exposed.

"Say you have to pee, I need to talk to you." The blue-haired boy reads aloud with a confused tone. "Say you have to pee," he repeats, holding his phone screen towards the brunette girl so she could read it and she looked just as confused as he did. Her confusion quickly turned to suspicion, looking at the two boys sitting next to her.

"That is weird," she commented. "What does that even mean?" Taehyung questions both of them and Namjoon quickly shrugged.

"I don't know man, that sounds strange. Do you even have to pee?" Namjoon asks and Taehyung shakes his head 'no'.

"Hmm," Namjoon murmurs, "I'm stumped, that sounds very creepy."

"That makes two of us," Taehyung concurs with a shrug. In the corner of his eye, Namjoon can see the brunette girl eyeing him and he knows that she knows that it was him.

Namjoon's phone chimes and he looks to make sure that it wasn't Taehyung messaging him back and further making him fall into a pit of mortification. He reads the text that was sent to him and realizes it's Lee Hyun, his former client and now his possible conspirator and hero.

'con-4-s-8-tion on football field now!!! - Hyun"

"What's that?" The brunette girl asks him and he is brought out of his bubble.

"Does it say 'you have to pee'?" Taehyung asks.

"Oh, no, it's just someone with an impossibly bad grasp on abbreviations. I've gotta step out for a bit," he says, getting out of his chair and shoving his phone into his pocket, "I'll be back in like five minutes but, uh, go ahead and start studying verbs... In, uh, Spanish," he concludes, waving to his peers before stepping out of the study room.

Once he's out of ear-shot, the brunette girl smiles and nudges Taehyung on the knee, "What's your read on that guy, Taehyung?"

Taehyung looks at her and tilts his head to the side, appearing as though he were analyzing her.

"You look like my interpretation of God," he says randomly, making her raise a brow in confusion.

"Ethnically ambiguous," he adds, and she forms an 'o' with her mouth and nods at his words.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the school, Namjoon's light jogging has turned into a brisk walk as he finally spots his friend standing at the edge of the school's football field, the football team on the field practicing on a variety of equipment in the heat.

"Suppose I say to you 'it's possible to get those test answers'?" Hyun says aloud once he realizes Namjoon is next to him.

"I would say 'go with that' and 'you could've put that in a text'," Namjoon responds frustratedly. "I'm asking you if you know the difference between right and wrong," Hyun eggs on.

"I discovered at a very early age that if I talk long enough, I can make anything right and wrong. So, either I'm God or truth is relative. In either case, booyah."

"Oh, interesting! It's just that the average person finds it difficult to say 'booyah' to moral relativism."

"Hyun, you don't have to play the shrink to protect your pride. I accept. You're chicken," Namjoon smirks at his friend, expecting a reaction that came faster than he anticipated.

"I'm a professor, you can't talk to me that way!" Hyun huffs loudly.

"A six-year-old girl could talk to you that way!" Namjoon retorts with a scoff, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, because that would be adorable!" Hyun thrusts his arms into the air in exclamation.

"No, because you're a five-year-old girl and there's a pecking order!" Namjoon bites back.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Hyun argues back with his hands flapping about.

"Thank you," Namjoon smiles, patting Hyun on the shoulder before walking away and leaving Hyun to stand in the field by himself with a look of shock etched into his face.

Namjoon found himself getting closer to the entrance of the library study room and began reciting his prepared excuse aloud from memory, "You guys aren't going to believe this but the rest of the study group-"

The words were snatched right out of his mouth when he finally came to the doorway and found that all but 2 seats were full. 2 empty seats remaining for him and... for the brunette girl from Spanish class.

"Is here..." Namjoon finishes under his breath, looking at each of the new faces in the room, except they weren't very new. He recognized them from somewhere, he just couldn't pinpoint where.

"Are you the 'board-certified' tutor?" One of the new faces asked, his light violet hair peeking out from beneath his hoodie and both hands tucked into his pocket, a bored expression on his face.

"That means you'll do my homework, right?" A rather young boy with a letterman jacket spoke arrogantly, a cheeky grin on his face and his hand already extending out towards Namjoon, a thin stack of papers gripped between his fingers.

"I'll need to call my babysitter if we're gonna be staying later than 10," Another young man spoke up from the table, his proper attitude shining with his posture and articulate words, his plump lips pulled into a gentle smile.

"What board certifies a tutor?" A rather small and slender boy speaks up from the side of the table, his eyes examining Namjoon beneath his clementine bangs with a speculative gaze, both arms crossed over his chest tightly.

"Aren't you the guy that plays games on their phone in the back of the class?" A giddy boy chirps from the other side of the table, his round cheeks and light brown, gleaming eyes drawing his attention.

Namjoon raised his brows at the group of rather attractive young men gathered at the table. His gaze falls on Taehyung's bright blue head. "Where's ____?"

"Not sure, but I invited more people from Spanish class. Is that cool?" Taehyung says. Ah, so that's where he can recognize them from.

"That's the... coolest," Namjoon manages to squeeze out from between his teeth with as enthusiastic a tone as possible, trying his best to hide his frustration. Taehyung gives the older man a thumbs up and a smile. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Namjoon begins to say, collecting his things that he had left on the table previously, "and I'm gonna bring my jacket, wallet and my keys with me... In case there's a fire."

Namjoon tucks his items in his arms and leaves the study room.

Exiting the library, Namjoon bumped into someone and almost chastised them until he realized who it is.

"Busted," she says with a smirk, making Namjoon's heart pound in his chest. "Uh, listen-"

"Now you know. I'm a smoker," she says shamefully, lifting a lit cigarette into view and putting it back down to her side so the smoke doesn't get in their way.

"Yeah, but... They're filtered so that makes them safe," his chest rumbles with a chuckle, making her smile after she had made quite the admission.

"You ready to get started? Looks like the rest of your group showed up," she asks him, teasing him with a gentle bump of her shoe on his shin.

Namjoon hisses in faux pain and laughs, "Yeah, that's not my group. I think maybe Taehyung took out an ad on Craigslist," he says with uncertainty, "and I was trained never to say this but... I think that group may be untutorable."

"Oh really?" she says in a sing-song fashion, only egging him on.

"So, why don't you and I study verbs over-"

"Dinner?" she says in an attempt to finish his sentence.

"Or, uh, drinks..." he shrugs carelessly.

"I think we should actually prioritize here and study first and then go to dinner," she offers, "And if they really prove to be untutorable, we'll slip out early."

Discarding her finished cigarette butt to the ground and stomping out the heat with her chunky sole, she slipped into the library and the look she gave him before slinking away behind the closing door made Namjoon bite his cheek to contain his excitement. "Oh they'll be untutorable, alright," he says to himself, his minding already running with ideas on how to make or ruin the fastest study session in history.

Namjoon wanders into the study room and finds everyone in their seats, looking up at him with anticipation. He finds himself at the head of the table and he musters up the energy to try and turn this night into a disaster or into the fastest study session anyone has ever seen.

"All right," he begins with a tight smile, "Look at this group, ready to study all night."

"Well, I can stay at least till ten," The proper young man says amongst the quiet murmurs coming from around the table.

"But," Namjoon interjects, "Who studies with strangers, right? My name is Namjoon."

"Namjoon, it's a pleasure. My name is Min Yoongi," the man at the end of the table stands up to reach over the table at an attempt to shake Namjoon's hand, "And yes that is Min as in Min's Mics," Yoongi stops his reach for the handshake, making Namjoon awkwardly slink back into his chair, "The award-winning microphone production company."

"I was just about to ask..." Namjoon bumped his eyebrows up in annoyance.

"I'm also a toastmaster, so perhaps I should do the introductions!" Yoongi insists with a lazy grin.

"Definitely!" Namjoon encourages, already sensing that Yoongi's loose and unbothered energy was bound to mess things up in the room.

Yoongi claps his hands again and immediately gestures to the brunette sitting beside Namjoon, "You already know ____,"

The brunette girl immediately corrects him and Namjoon can't help but snicker at the incredibly fast screw-up.

"Hockey sock," Yoongi points toward the boy sitting to Namjoon's right side.

"It's Hoseok," the brown-haired boy spoke up, pausing his sketching to correct the man at the other end of the table with an amused look.

"Tater tot."

"My name is Taehyung," the blue-haired boy chided.

"Junk food."

The boy sitting beside Yoongi gave him a look of confusion, "I literally just told you my name like four minutes ago, dude, it's Jungkook."

Yoongi then gestures to the orange-haired person on the other side of the table, "That's Prince Jam."

"Jimin," the young boy narrowed his eyes at the self-proclaimed toastmaster.

"And finally, this is Seokjin," Yoongi smiled gently, staring for just a second too long at the man sitting right next to him.

"Is that even close?" Namjoon asks the supposed 'Seokjin', and he receives a timid nod in return, the young man squirming uncomfortably under Yoongi's continued gaze.

"Can you teach us how to say curse words in Spanish?" Hoseok asks, tapping his pencil against the table. "Unfortunately, no," Namjoon answers with a sigh.

"How do I become board-certified? And I actually agree with Jimin, what board certifies a tutor?" Hoseok persists, Jimin agreeing with his questions with a curt nod.

"That's actually a really great question. Next?" Namjoon smiles innocently, turning his attention elsewhere to avoid any more questions about his faux tutoring origins.

"Yeah, well, I'd like to know why I had to find out about this group on accident," Jimin sits up, raising his chin in a show of confidence.

Taehyung's brows are knit in anticipation, "Oh this is getting way more like Breakfast Club now."

"There's breakfast?" Yoongi asks confusedly.

"Okay, um, maybe we should-" the brunette girl began to speak up in an attempt to break the tension.

"You know," Namjoon interrupts her and he receives a glare in return, "I've been a part of a lot of study groups that fell apart because of unresolved tension. Shouldn't we address Jimin's concern? Did we not invite him?"

"Oh, Jimin, honey, it's not behind your back. We just didn't want to-" Seokjin tries to comfort the younger boy sitting next to him but is immediately interrupted. The brunette girl was starting to notice that interrupting each other was becoming a trend, and she didn't like it at all.

"Can we stop with the 'honeys' and the 'sweeties'? Being younger does not make me inferior, if anything, your age indicates that you made bad life decisions!" Jimin responds sharply, almost shaking with equal amounts of nervousness and irritation.

Seokjin inhales quickly and starts shaking his head, making noises of disagreement, as though he were trying to hold back the hurtful words that wanted to slip off his tongue by instinct.

"Seokjin has a reply to that," Namjoon says, making the brunette girl's head snap in his direction, utterly confused as to why he would try to stoke the flames of this argument.

Everyone around the table except for the brunette girl murmurs their agreements, seeing Seokjin narrow his eyes at the smaller, younger boy sitting beside him. "Okay, okay. I'm sure... I've made s-some bad life decisions, I am a single, divorced father of two after all but maybe Jimin's life decisions will be better! But I think he needs to decide whether he wants to be considered a child or an adult because children get pity but not respect, and adults, they get respect! They also get the back of their heads grabbed and their faces pushed through jukeboxes!" Seokjin quickly says at the end of his sentence, his eyes wide, fierce and full of unsubtle rage.

"Why don't we try learning 'jukebox" in Spanish?' The brunette girl speaks up, trying to divert everyone's attention but it doesn't appear to work.

"What are you doing? Are you seriously falling asleep right now?" Seokjin says aloud, everyone's eyes falling upon the purple-haired Yoongi at the end of the table, who is dozing off on the spot.

Jungkook snorts, "Really, grandpa?" he says jokingly to his older classmate, Hoseok unable to hold in his laughter at the teasing going on in front of him.

"Hey. I am a prominent business leader and a highly sought-after dinner guest and I will not be made fun of by some- some teenage boy," Yoongi responds with a sloppy snarl.

"Well, this teenage boy is a quarterback and a prom king," Jungkook retorts, adding a flourish to his argument with a tug of his collar.

Jimin scoffs amusedly, "You're not prom king anymore, Jungkook. This isn't Riverside High."

"How'd you know I went there?" Jungkook asks Jimin with a confused expression.

The orange-haired boy's smile falters from his face but he straightens his back nonetheless, "Because you're still wearing your stupid letter jacket, and more importantly... I sat behind you in Algebra!" Jimin scans Jungkook's face for any sign of realization and he feels a bit better once he sees it flash across Jungkook's features, but his stomach drops with what he hears next.

"Wait, aren't you the guy that got hooked on pills and dropped out? You're little Jammy Jimin," Jungkook laughs, clapping his hands and doubling over.

Jimin gasps, "Oh yeah? And you're a stupid jock who lost his scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand!"

"Keg flip! They are very hard to pull off! No-" Jungkook corrects him, then everyone erupts into overlapping arguments. As everyone begins shouting at each other, the brunette girl's face is that of a witness to absolute horror, especially once she sees Namjoon looking at all the drama unfold with an amused look. Suddenly, Taehyung slams his hand down on the table, garnering everyone's attention and effectively shutting them up.

"You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner year at the Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me. He said, 'Hey, smoke up, Johnny.'," Taehyung says animatedly, "No, dad! What about you?" he ends with one last shout, leaning back in his chair, the satisfied smile on his face indicating that he had completed his bit.

"Well, that actually was from Breakfast Club," Namjoon points out and everyone finally understands what Taehyung was talking about, their mouths forming 'o's.

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner," Taehyung murmurs again. "Dirty Dancing," Namjoon responds and he receives a smile and an excited 'yeah' from the blue-haired boy in return.

In the midst of everyone looking at each other with confused expressions, Namjooon's phone buzzes once again and sees that someone is trying to call him.

Namjoon answers his phone and is greeted by Hyun talking in a deep, unusually gravelly voice. "It's Professor Lee Hyun, come to the parking lot now."

"What's wrong with your voice?" Namjoon scrunches his nose at the unpleasant sound coming through the receiver. "I'm... disguising it." Namjoon was about to smugly inform his friend that there was no point in trying to disguise his voice if he was going to tell him his name in the first place, but Hyun hung up on him before he had the chance.

Tucking his phone back into his pocket, he announces to the group that he is leaving for a bit, "but while I'm gone, you guys need to hash this stuff out. No stone unturned... Go!" he declares, quickly escaping once more. Before he even laid a step outside the study room, he could already hear the sounds of their bickering - a sign of their very close and very eventual turmoil and his very inevitable date with the hot brunette from Spanish class.

As soon as Namjoon stepped outside the school gates, he spotted Lee Hyun in a comically small blue smart car right in the front of the school. After managing to squeeze his gangly limbs into the passenger seat, he slammed the car door shut and reached out for the large and thick manila folder that was resting in his much smaller friend's hands.

"Every answer to every test in your curriculum this semester," Lee Hyun said proudly. "I knew you could do it, buddy. Thank you," Namjoon sighed thankfully but Hyun was snatching the folder away before he managed to grab a hold of it. "Woah there, cowboy. What do I get out of all this?"

"Uh, the satisfaction of being even?" Namjoon says as if it's the most obvious thing that there was. "Even, fairness, right, wrong, there is no God, booyah, booyah," Hyun listed off in an annoying tone that made Namjoon cringe.

"What do you want from me?" Namjoon asked reluctantly.

"Your Lexus."

"My car? For a semester's worth of answers?" Namjoon scoffed in disbelief.

"Will it be just a semester though, Namjoon? Won't you be taking the easy way out for the next four years? I want payment in advance. I want leather seats with built-in butt warmers," Hyun grinned mischievously.

"What am I supposed to drive?" Namjoon asks through gritted teeth, "You should take this car! It's good for the earth," Hyun smiled at him.

"So is wiping your butt with a leaf but it's not how a man gets around!" Namjoon shouted in frustration. Hyun visibly deflated, shoulders slumped and manila folder waiting patiently for the taking from the palm of his hand. Namjoon eyed the folder in his friend's hand and weighed the options in his head. With a groan, Namjoon snatched the folder out of his hand and hopped out of the impossibly cramped blue smart car as quickly as possible.

____ spots Namjoon weaving through the library entrance and she darts out of the study room to leave the arguing mess of a study group to confront its creator. "It is a disaster in there!"

"Yeah, untutorable. Do you like Thai food? I love Thai food."

"Wait, so... This is a game to you?" the young brunette girl asked with arms crossed over her chest and resting her weight on her right leg. "You put a group of human beings into a state of emotional shambles just for a shot at getting in my pants?"

"Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?" Namjoon stressed.

"Unbelievable," she sneered, clenching her fists against her chest in anger. Namjoon didn't mean to look at her chest at that time, it was just where her hands were and the sight of them clenching and unclenching somehow made his heart race. It wasn't fear or disbelief, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what the emotion was. As he noticed that her brown eyes were intensely watching him, he quickly averted his gaze and pretended to submit to her to see what she wanted and if he felt like he was bothered enough to keep jumping through these high hoops for her.

"What do you want me to do?" he asks her, tilting his head to look down at her. "Oh, maybe one decent thing you can do is go in there and clean up your mess," she tells him, looking at him expectantly.

Namjoon pursed his lips and looked into the "Okay, if I do that, then dinner... Right?" he questions her with a perked brow.

The young brunette's mouth hung agape in disbelief and she laughed quietly, her eyes unable to leave the sight of the unbelievable man she'd ever seen. As selfish and egotistical as he was, there was an underlying part of her that felt flattered by his drive and want for her. It was a very small part and the group's needs very clearly trumped that.

"Yeah, fine, whatever," she said with a shrug, stepping back into the study room. "As if there's a dinner on earth that can make me forget that you are a shallow douchebag."

Watching her walk away was something he had the pleasure of doing a handful of times already, and each time felt better than the last but this time, he couldn't quite find the appeal when she was very clearly mad at him. "Oh, you are gonna eat those words when you see my new car!" His face falls when he remembers the trade he had just made with the psychology professor just moments ago.

"Alright, everybody!" Namjoon shouted above everyone else, slamming his Spanish textbook onto the table, everyone's attention now on him. "I wanna say something. Everybody, sit down." "You don't have to yell," Seokjin muttered under his breath, situating himself back into his chair, the others following suit.

"You know what makes humans different from other animals?" Namjoon asks rhetorically, but Jungkook immediately answers, "Feet."

"No, no. Come on, beers have feet," Yoongi said smugly but by the look on Seokjin and Jimin's faces, it was clear he was wrong.

Namjoon quickly put them back on topic, "We are the only species on earth that observes 'Shark Week'. Sharks don't even observe 'Shark Week' but we do, for the same reason I can pick up this pencil, tell you it's name is Steve and go like this," Namjoon picks up his pencil from the table and snaps it in half, earning a quiet chorus of gasps and pained groans.

"And part of you dies just a little bit on the inside because people can connect with anything. We can sympathize with pencils, we can forgive a shark and we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting."

Yoongi cringes at the mention of Ben Affleck and Taehyung agrees with him, everyone at the table nodding their agreements.

"People can find the good in just about anything but themselves. Look at me, it's clear to all of you that I am awesome but I can never admit that because that would make me an ass but what I can do is see what makes Jimin awesome," everyone turns to look at Jimin who is fighting the rush of blood that is desperate to get to his cheeks and the pull of a smile against his lips, "Jimin is driven. We need driven people or the lights go out and the ice-cream melts," Namjoon says.

"And Yoongi. We need guys like Yoongi. This guy has wisdom to offer," Yoongi scrunches his nose. "Is this part of the grandpa joke? Come on-"

"We should listen to him sometime! We wouldn't regret it. And Seokjin," Namjoon gestures to Seokjin with a pointed finger, "Seokjin has earned our respect. Not as a husband, not as a father, but as a man. And don't test him on that because the thing about the jukebox was way too specific to be improvised," Seokjin's eyes widened a little bit at Namjoon's speculation but he gave no indication as to whether he thinks Namjoon had stumbled upon the truth or not.

"And Hoseok, the guy that keeps asking questions. We need intuitive people like that, we need people that keep asking questions otherwise people we will never find the answers, Hoseok is the answer," he points at Hoseok who is giving him a shy smile in return.

"And Jungkook. Who cares if Jungkook thinks he's all that? Maybe he is," Jungkook looked nervous from the moment Namjoon started giving his opinions on each of the group members but a small smile fell on his face after hearing the caring words that the older boy had for him.

"And Taehyung. Taehyung is a shaman. You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup. Because you know what? Soup is better. Taehyung is better. You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself," Namjoon tells them, his gestures becoming wilder to continue to be engaging as his speech went on.

"Soup?" Yoongi says confusedly.

"Turn to the person next to you," Namjoon tells them. He watches as Jimin turns to Seokjin, Yoongi turns to Jungkook, Taehyung turns to Hoseok, as the young brunette girl turns to him and looks up at him with her wide, gleaming eyes.

"I want you to extend to the person the same compassion that you extend to sharks, pencils and Ben Affleck. I want you to say to that person 'I forgive you'."

He watches Jimin, Seokjin, Taehyung, and Hoseok express their forgiveness to each other, inwardly smiling to himself at the warming sight but his attention is piqued when he sees that Yoongi is being reluctant.

"I forgive you," Jungkook says to his partner earnestly. Yoongi rolls his eyes and calls him a little twerp. "Yoongi," Namjoon urges, "I'd like you to say 'I forgive you'."

Yoongi exhales slowly through his nose, his features tense as he quickly and quietly mumbles out an "I forgive you" to Jungkook who grins in return.

"You've just stopped being a study group, you have become something unstoppable. I hereby pronounce you a community," Namjoon proclaims proudly.

Seokjin awe's, "Oh, that's nice," he shares with a gentle smile, joining the rest of the people on the table in applauding Namjoon for his powerful speech.

"This isn't like Breakfast Club anymore, now it's like Stripes or Meatballs, anything with Bill Murray really," Taehyung adds with a pointed finger. "I agree with Taehyung here, tonight has been very special. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with ____," Namjoon says, looking down at the brunette girl with a grin and an extended hand.

She looks up to him sweetly before saying, "I lied. Thanks for calming everyone down but since you're not a Spanish tutor, just a lying creep who purposely upset everyone in an attempt to get with me, I'd appreciate it if you left and stopped wasting all of our time."

Namjoon quickly digested his shock and muttered out, "Fine, and I'm happy to report that one of the benefits of being a lying creep is having all the answers to tomorrow's test," he gestures to the thick manila folder on the table in front of him. "And I'm happy to share them with anyone who's time I've wasted more than they've wasted mine," his eyes glance over to the young brunette beside him, noting the way she is glaring at him with, somehow, adorably flared nostrils.

"Uh, Namjoon. If you have all the answers, why the hell did you start this study group?" Yoongi asks with an appropriate amount of confusion.

"I don't have a study group, I made it up," Namjoon stated frankly.

Jimin's brows knit in dejection, a small but noticeable pout becoming more obvious as his bottom lip starts to tremble just by the slightest, "But... What about your speech?"

"I made it up! That's what I do, I make things up and I got paid a lot of money to do it before I came to this school shaped toilet, I was a lawyer."

Everybody moans and groans at the mention of the fact that Namjoon was a lawyer, eyes rolling and noses scrunching.

"I thought you were Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films," Taehyung tells Namjoon with the same monotonous tone he'd been using all day, though this time it seemed to be tinged with a bit of disappointment.

"Oh yeah? Well, you have Asperger's." Namjoon says bluntly before gathering his things in his arms and slamming the study room door behind him. The young brunette girl's gaze falls to the vacant spot at the doorway left by his vacuous presence, horrified at his change in attitude. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that this dude was sketchy, from the moment she laid her eyes on him at the back of Spanish class, sitting uninterestedly in each lesson with his phone in his hand paying attention to nobody, not even the teacher which she considered to be quite the feat since the Spanish teacher was... an inconceivable character, to say the least.

What was scary was that she had also doubted that he was telling the truth about his deal with her earlier. Maybe he really is honest. The real difficulty in this was deciding whether that was a good thing or not.

"Did he just say 'ass burger'?" Jungkook snorted, slapping the table.

"It's a serious disorder," Jimin tells Jungkook, "It really is," Seokjin concurs, becoming upset that Jungkook, and now Yoongi, appear to be making fun of the name.

"If it's so serious, why don't they call it 'professional burger'?" Yoongi wheezes, lightly slapping Jungkook on the arm as they quietly laugh with each other.

Taehyung didn't seem to mind one bit. If he did, he didn't show it which helped to settle the brunette girl's worries by a smidge.

Namjoon stepped outside the library building with a huff, exasperated from being in such a draining situation. In the back of his mind, he couldn't believe that he had done what he did to these strangers. Well, they were his classmates and that made it worse, him realizing that he would have to see these people again in the future. Pushing those thoughts to the very darkest depths of his mind, he inhaled the cold air of the outside, staying under the light of the library veranda so he could actually get a good look at those papers that Hyun had given him. At least one good thing came out of this day, or so he thought.

Opening the seal at the top of the large manila, he proceeded to pull out a thick pile of papers, the first of which appeared to be blank. Namjoon's heart began to race as he flipped through the hundreds of papers in his hands to find that they were all blank on both sides except for the last paper which had the word 'booyah' written in all caps in Sharpie.

"Hyun," Namjoon growled under his breath, shoving the papers back into the manila folder angrily and making his way to the professor's office.

There sat Hyun with his feet crossed on top of his desk, leaning back in his office chair and sipping on a glass of brandy when Namjoon slammed his office door open.

"Okay, now before you say anything, I want you to think about the gift you've been given," Hyun hummed happily, raising his glass to Namjoon leaning against his office doorway.

"An excuse to punch a pathetic professor at a community college?" Namjoon tilts his head with a far too serious expression.

Hyun coughs, "Erm, no, not that. An important lesson, my friend. You see, the tools you acquired to survive out there will not help you here at Greendale. What you have here my friend is a second chance at an honest life."

"Give me my keys," Namjoon demands from him, clearly ignoring his friend's pitiful attempt to teach him a lesson about integrity, honesty or what have you.

"W-what? No, I have to keep your car for the lesson- Okay, don't hit me!" Hyun shrieks and tosses the car keys to Namjoon once he begins to storm over to his friend's desk with rage-filled eyes.

Namjoon walks away quickly, desperate to be anywhere but at that school at the moment. "Are we cool!?" Hyun shouts out the door as soon as he's gone, pausing for a moment to wait for a response. When he gets nothing in return, he just shrugs and sips his brandy, "We cool.".

"I like you, Namjoon," Yoongi says to the younger man as he spots him walking briskly past the entrance to the library, "You remind me of myself when I was your age."

Namjoon pauses and sighs, hanging his head low at the prospect of being similar to this older and, from what he's seen so far, a horribly awkward but entitled individual. "I deserve that."

He walks up the stairs to sit next to the older boy, seating himself one step down on the stairs so they were equal in height. "Y'know, I've been called grandpa nine times now? I mean, there are literal grandpas here on campus but even they don't called grandpa. They get called by their first names, like normal grandpas. Sometimes I think I'm doing something wrong."

Namjoon put his hand on Yoongi's shoulder and said to him, "Maybe it's because of the way you act. You fall asleep everywhere, you always ask the most random questions and you scowl at everyone and you say stuff like 'when I was your age' to people that aren't that much younger than you. You've gotta stop doing that, man."

Yoongi sighed, "I've never looked at it that way..."

"Hey guys," Hoseok spoke up, coming up from behind them.

"Oh, hey," Namjoon said to him. "Aren't you guys supposed to be studying right now?"

Jungkook emerged from around the corner and shrugged, "It kinda got boring after you left," he admitted. Following him out of the entrance of the library was the rest of the group, Seokjin, Taehyung, Jimin and the brunette girl.

"Shouldn't you be rolling around on a bed covered in test answers," the brunette girl smirked down at him, her hands holding the strap of her bag.

"I don't have any of the answers," he said with a tight smile, abandoning the manila folder on to the steps below him, "I'm just gonna fail the test."

"If you just study for like an hour, it's not that hard," Hoseok told him, "Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "You seem pretty smart, you have a sports coat," Jungkook told him, gesturing to Namjoon's jacket.

"Well, the funny thing about being smart is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work. So, uh, I'm not really... Sure how to do that," Namjoon confessed with solace, hanging his head low.

Behind him, the group began silently gesturing to each other. Jimin mouthed to the brunette girl, "Please? he's so sad." In return, the brunette girl mimed, pointing at Namjoon and then putting a finger in her mouth and pretend-puking. Seokjin expressed saddened shock, clasping his hands together as if he were begging the brunette girl into agreeing with them.

Taehyung looked at the scene with confusion and he spoke up, "What's going on? Can you guys hear me right now? Am I deaf, can you guys hear me talking? Can you guys hear me talking right now?" the group all said "Yes" in response. "Ah, okay, good," Taehyung said, giving them a thumbs up.

"Y'know what? Namjoon, we actually didn't get that far without you so if you wanna come back inside..." the brunette girl said to him.

"Really?" Namjoon asked with an uncertain tone.

"Well, it is your study group." The brunette girl said with a lopsided grin, turning around and stepping back into the library.

"Come on, let's study," Seokjin said to him sweetly, following the brunette girl back into the building. "Sounds good," Yoongi replied, patting Namjoon on the shoulder and going back inside with Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin trailing behind him.

"I'm sorry I called you Michael Douglas and I see your value now," Taehyung said to him, stepping past Namjoon and entering the library.

"Well, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," Namjoon said to himself, pushing himself off the steps and walking back into the library to join the unlikely group that he had just created, a group that he somehow feels he will be close with. Sure, they had gotten off to a rocky and deceitful start, but he can tell that some of them are already warming up to each other despite having argued for hours both in and out of his absence. That's gotta say something.

Perhaps it's saying that they really are a community now.

[system-of-a-feather]

I should sleep but instead I’ll share a bit more about myself

Sleep is for loosers anyways jk for real sleep is important to your mental health you really should try to get decent sleep if you can

Anyways, I had asked about it earlier cause I was reminiscing back to the old days a bit so I figured I would just go on an old man’s tales of the old days. Don’t worry this shouldn’t have much of any potentially triggering content. Its just kinda a look back on where I started and where I’ve come since I split off or at least a bit of a general one. So if you like, grab some marshmellows, pick up some chocolate and lets enjoy some smores by the fire. (Keep reading below if interested; ps its kinda really long XD)

Honestly, its been mentioned a bit around here that I am, in fact, not the original host of the system and while I have taken very strongly to my role as host and my system has come to respect me (at least for the most part) as the host and “leader / commander” in the alternative role descriptions our system likes to use from time to time, I honestly have only been in this role for like... the past three or so years of the like... ten or twelve (depends on if you count when I split off or when I actually began interacting actively with the world) years.

Like for some background, I split off originally in order to help the previous host and trauma holder (who weren’t in communication) handle and adjust to life while we moved schools twice in a single year. From what I know prior to my split, our system was very dependent on hanging out with our friends as a way to keep trauma from surfacing to the host or something similar to that and the host before I split off was a bit of a shy child. My family made a really bad decision with a move that sent everyone in my family into various bad mental states and to cut the unpleasant info out of it, the host at the time couldn’t handle or adapt to the new school that had a horrifically different atmosphere from our old one. None of the ways she was able to have fun or connect with others were capable and with a even worse condition house and a lack of friends, it essentially caused two splits. One was Lucille and one was me, almost around the same time for similar, related, but different reasons.

For me, I know my main role was to be able to make friends, maintain friends, and to make sure school life wasn’t a problem and that we could constantly have someone to be around when we were younger. Back in the day my main job was to be charismatic, make friends, and create stable and sturdy social connections with everyone so that one of the largest important coping mechanisms could be saved.

Admittedly though, even though I did fill the role needed and did create wonderful webs of connections and friends, even though I did make friends by taking outcasts of each school I went to in order to make stable relationships, honestly a mix of our family’s toxicity and a lot of bad luck with friends moving made it so few friendships lasted more than a year. It made it rather hard for anyone to hold host and I believe for the longest many years no one was a consistent host - something that was considerably concerning given we wouldn’t start communicating or being actively aware of each other for another six years.

Anyways, a lot of the repetitive failures honestly made me loose a bit of faith in people and humanity for a few years and I kind of retreated to online where I became an edgelord and went under the idea of “I really don’t care about the real world and my real life anyways, we aren’t gonna live that long anyways and my life will figure itself out” and engrossed myself solely into being an “online social” personality for a long while from the ages of like twelve until like... sixteen. 

It was honestly a mistake I suppose as me abandoning the real life wasn’t abandoning my life like I thought it was as much as it turned out I was abandoning an important duty in a system I didn’t know I was part of and such action not only led me into being put into a lot of abusive relationships with online people, but also left our life horrifically unnurtured, barren and dry. During the time I popped in from time to time to help with club activities, but for the most part managing our real life was left to Aderis (who scared everyone away out of defense), Lucille (pre-integrated being an introverted know it all), and a trauma holder that avoided everyone. Our club life flourished and we had a group of friends in our band activities as it was the only part of the real world I would end up being out in and caring about enough to foster, but outside of that our life was barren. Sometime in that period, Aderis had made contact with me and everyone vaguely got to know each other, but considering a lot of denial and other abuse and trauma was going on then, we never properly established an understanding of DID or our system or even full recognition of each other - or at least I didn’t.

In a sorts, it lead to the point where apparently the trauma holder that was vaguely taking host was getting so sick of existing and was so envious of the beautiful life I was hosting online that it became a huge problem that apparently was the driving force to get us into therapy. I don’t really know too much of the specifics but it had caused a massive internal war over if we should destroy my online life as to force me to actually come back and try to help fix the mess our real life was at, or if we should just give up on having a real life and foster in the one I was building online. It was a internal conflict that actually had Lucille and I worried that it might end up to self harm or rash decisions and it was enough to get us to push for therapy which we eventually got.

Through the first few months of therapy it was noted by a not-dissociation specialist that what I was going through sounded a lot like DID but that wasn’t addressed further than him attempting to integrate what he identified to be “the online personality” and the “offline personality” by bringing someone who can bridge the two worlds and assist in integrating the two parts. Of course, being he wasn’t a professional in DID or dissociation, it didn’t quite work out properly, but it did get me actually focused on our real life a bit more. I was put in a position where I had to try to transfer what I did online to the real world and I did so by bringing a somewhat trusted individual into communication with me online. 

At that point I had kind of forgotten how to be super charismatic irl and so I kept a lot of the more personal conversations online and rather than bridging me and the semi-host (as we didn’t really have a host), it rather got me somewhat interested in the real world again - or at least gave me something beyond my online world that meant something to me. I fostered a strong relationship with this individual and I took it upon myself to try to keep this relationship working as it was the first time in ages that someone in the real not-online world that seemed to intend to stay around us and it gave me some hope to my otherwise jaded view on the world.

It was honestly a lot of work being in therapy and trying to find this middle ground of managing online and offline and trying to get both domains to work in our system’s life, especially when I took the initiative to consider dating that person that really seemed to stick around and have enough faith and patience with me and our system to work with us, especially since the system wasn’t entirely on board, and especially sicne even then, we had no clearly defined host.

A lot of back and forth happened, a lot of alters trying to sabotage each other, a lot of really poor mental health and poor adjustment, and then two or three things too many happened and the trauma holder that was semi-host seemed to fall entirely dormant leaving the host position completely open and with the system a bit shook.

In a sense, due to the fact that Aderis was going through things at the time, Lucille was insecure on his existence, and the other active known member was a child, I was kind of kicked out to fill the role - especially considering the person we were in a relationship was considered to be my partner and my decision and my responsibility at the time. Plus, of all the alters in the pool that could have picked up host at the time, the most socially capable for managing a life was of course the alter that was MADE to be social and to create friendships and reach out to individuals.

I suppose in a sense it was natural that I was the one that got kicked out. Honestly, I don’t see myself to be as socially capable or charismatic as I am told I am and honestly I personally struggle a lot from time to time with friendships and relationships due to a lot of the personal things I as Riku have been through and how being online almost exclusively for three or four years messed with my understanding of social rules and interactions and all that, but honestly, it was generally at that moment that the system kinda just forced me to handle a heccin lot.

And like... talking about adjusting from being an alter formed primarily to establish and maintain friendships to being the host and person in charge of a lot in the system, I could go on about that on its own for ages. It is honestly something I both gripe and grumble and am really critical on myself for not doing “good enough” but it is also something I am pretty proud to say I feel I have been managing pretty good all things considered.

I do wonder how the trauma holder that stood in as a kinda-host after the original host refused to be host is doing, and I really hope she is alright and I honestly know she isn’t but I hope one of these days I can build this life to be healthy enough, stable enough, and safe enough that she can come out of dormancy and recover as she deserves to. 

Currently, she is honestly in a really unstable state to the point keeping her dormant is one of the highest priorities of our system as she is honestly really dangerous to us and we aren’t in an environment that can support and safely provide a place for her to recover, so honestly, if nothing else, I hope that one of these days I can make this life a life she can be safe in.

I do deal with some of the thoughts of “I stole this life from an individual” or at least I used to struggle with them a lot, but I like to think of it more as me saving and rescuing this life for someone who couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And in the end, we are all the same individual. We are all working towards the same thing, and if there is anything I can do with the honor it is to be the host of the system and to get this much time out and to have this much direction over how we drive this life, I want to make my system happy and safe.

I dunno. Its just some sentimental thinking I was going on about to myself before since I was thinking back to when I was a protector and when all I had to worry about were social issues and picking the most reliable trust worthy people to add to our lives and replacing them as fast as possible when they left to maintain stability. Back when all I cared about and had to worry about was building social circles, and now I gotta do that among all sorts of other things.

It was a simpler time, but I am happy of where I am now. I suppose when I was “just a social protector” one of the largest hobbies I had was finding people that were less fortunate, rejected by the cliquey social groups of our school, and creating a bit of a safe place and a friend to have so they wouldn’t be lonely, and from time to time I would get them involved with other more popular individuals and it was great to watch them grow and succeed socially after being the social rejects for being blind or “fat” or awkward or shy. When I went online, I took a strong liking to helping people out and helping people feel a little better about themselves and letting people have a person they can talk to.

I suppose upon becoming a host, I just expanded my external duty inward and now I have a team that I love dearly that I want to make happy and to give them the best life possible.

I suppose in a sense, even as a host, I still strongly come from my roots as a social protector and thats nice to think about from time to time.

Anyways, thanks for joining me at my campfire and roasting some marshmellows. I dunno if any of you guys got anything of substance from my old man stories reflecting on my old duties and how thats changed some over time, but thanks for listening in.

-Riku (Host)

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Week 6

Overall Plot

Holy shit, what a fucking week. Lots of interpersonal developments (read: dhamakas!) Shashank ousted Juhi all those years ago (on the request of Rahul) because he was in love with her?!?!? Shashank is also possibly Sid's father, or somehow personally associated with him?????? Rishabh's background is revealed too!!!!! Phew. I am dizzy.

The Medical Stuff

Not that much focus on the medical stuff this week. Neil's dad is quickly diagnosed with Legionnaire's disease and I assume cured (since we didn't see him after that, and Neil happily went along to Sid's for Ganpati.) There's an old friend of Shashank's whose wife had a nasty fall and is showing some pretty bad effects of concussion. Sid's injuries seem to be the priority right now.

The Acting

Dude. Sayantani, what a stellar actress. I could not take my eyes off her in the the scenes where she's at Juhi's house. Her eyes glittering with a strange sort of determination, almost like a suicide bomber, as she presses the button to detonate life as Shashank and Juhi know it. Fucking amazing. She blew (pun unintended!) even Mohnish outta the water, with her ice-cool, unperturbed performance, standing up to him so ably! Gurdeep too, had a nice couple of scenes, alternating between Juhi being disturbed at what she found out, as well as having to take charge of one crisis after the other, and she played it with such grace and poise. Surbhi had a more toned-down week (other than the scenes when Sid gets injured.) I particularly liked the apology scene and the scene where she's praying for Sid. I'm watching YPNTKH rn, and find Namit to be waaaay more polished in that than he is here? How did his dialogue delivery and acting regress a level or two, when he’s so damn steady there? Now I'm legit suspicious of the director(s) of this show, coz if they're not extracting the best out of their two leads, who have proven to be much better performers than they’re exhibiting in this show.... What are they even there for?  

The Characters

Sid: Watching YPNTKH has given me a new appreciation for Sanjivani!Sid (he's called Siddhant in that show too!) because he's a much better character here. He's a soft boi who isn't hyped up on ego and toxic masculinity, and I really really love and appreciate that. His admonishment of Ishani (during her apology) underscores his true character; he glossed over her poor behaviour towards him in public and even the fact that she slapped him, to focus on how she was ready to blow up her own career and throw it all away over a past she had nothing to do with. He's an excellent mentor who truly cares for his team and wants to make them the best doctors that they can be. Also, I'm so, so heartened to see how accommodating he is of Ishani's germophobia. Everyone else treats it as a quirk or inconvenience, but he truly takes it into consideration, asking for consent before coming in contact with her (at almost every instance they're close by - not just once for effect and done - I hope they maintain this aspect for good), or protecting her from unwanted contact from others. His crush on her is just so adorable - checking if she’s okay while he’s carrying her, remarking he’s glad that he didn’t punish her for her insubordination because he likes seeing her all soft and contrite; his bashful glee when she gives him a flower, the (mischievously) proud grin as he watches Ishani walk off to give Rishabh what he deserves; gently guiding her to where the best views of the Ganpati fest are, all the while shielding her from unwanted contact from strangers; semi-consciously dragging himself on top of her, to protect her from the gunde!!!!!! What a good, good bean he is. He's truly so beloved that seeing him brought in injured paralyses the whole hospital in shock, and they all unite in both dawa-and-dua ways to ensure he pulls through. Please show, I am fucking begging you; do not ever ruin this character by making him a typical Tellywood hero. Keep him soft and respectful and lovable forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I deserve a male character like this after all the fuckery I’ve been through the years!

Ishani: Ishani finally comes around to seeing Sid for what he is. Even before she learns that he wasn’t the one to blame for the poster drama, she opens up about her emotional issues to him, perhaps the first person she's let in for over 20 years now. Not only him, we see she lets in his mom as well; letting her smear colours on her face, hug her, and feed her sweets from her hand, even asking for more. Really sweet and shows the willingness to make progress on her part, for people who really matter. We also see the side of Ishani that's fiercely protective of those she considers her own; lambasting Rishabh for trying to play with Asha's career, and taking on a whole group of rowdy men who were harassing her, but as per usual, her impulsive side creates more problems than she ever accounts for. Couple that with her tendency to self-blame to a destructive degree, and our girl has a lottttt of work to do, mentally. I really liked the scene where she's praying for Sid, and she says that Sid is her friend, he's everyone's friend here, and they all really need him in Sanjivani. That's all the emotional development that's appropriate for now; what the fuck is this sudden realization of "love" that's coming outta nowhere acc. to the promo for next week???? Please! It's too fucking early for love and all. Friendship, maybe a confusing infatuation of sorts because he’s been her saviour multiple times now, that's it. Not CAPITAL L waala LOVE and all. Also not a fan of how she was just paralyzed and clutching at Sid and weeping after he got injured, instead of doing something helpful. Like, it's hard to believe she's a good doctor when she reacts so emotionally in scenarios like these. I think her skills extend only to diagnosis and she should maybe focus on that, instead of the surgical part.

Asha & Aman: Asha's woes against the patriarchy continue. First with Rishabh threatening to derail her career by bringing her family into the picture, and then those random drunkards at Ganpati. She does pull together nicely though while Ishani is panicking tf out, and manages to insert a chest tube for Sid to alleviate the internal bleeding. I’m glad that she finally opened up to Ishani about why she’s so competitive and bullheaded at work, which in turn leads Ishani standing up for her against Rishabh. A solid girl!love bond growing there and I am thrilled! Aman toh... Lol, continues being Aman. He offers to beat Rishabh up for Asha, roams around the hospital like an errant 10 year old, just generally having a gala time, unlike the others who are there to focus on work. I really cannot read the vibe between these two; are they just really good bro-sis type friends, or is there a romantic undercurrent? I can't tell. Either way, they're good together, and I don't mind whichever way it develops.

Dialogue(s) of the Week:

Asha [when Ishani freaks out that she threw away the literal white flag she was carrying to make up with Sid]: Ab ke ho gaya???? Wapas se teri overacting; dekh, sahi dustbin mein daala hai (iss baar.)

Aman [literally rolling into the scene on a razor scooter, seeing the yellow rose that Asha suggests Ishani give Sid]: Chee, chee, chee chee; itni gareebi aa gayi, ki yo peela phool dene laage tum log? Arre, manne bol diya hota, english waala phool mangwa deta, phoren se. Lekin [scoffs disdainfully] tumhari marzi... [scoots away]

Rishabh: We finally conclusively know who the worst fucking person in this show is so far. Ding ding ding! Winner winner, chicken dinner! This dude is just something fucking else. He threatens to fuck up Asha’s career if she tells anyone about the poster drama. He is a classist fucker who puts down Asha’s background to Ishani, saying she has “gaon waali harkatein.” He doesn’t give a shit if Sid dies of his injuries, to the point that even Vardhan is taken aback with how vitriolic he is. A truly vile creature, this one. We finally find out that he’s the son of the canteen waale chachaji, which explains the confrontation on the day Sid was called in for his investigation (Sid says that only he knows Rishabh’s “asli aukaat”, before Rishabh rudely pushes past him and the canteen chacha who came to offer them both chai.) All his LV belts and fancy car and show-shaa is just to hide his actual economic background and as such, he prevents his father from interacting with him while in Sanjivani. He’s terribly rude and dismissive of him, to the point where the dad wishes it was Rishabh who was battling for his life instead of Sid, who’s always been more of a son to him. Yiiiiikes. Anyway for all his bluster, I am happy that he’s properly terrified of Ishani, who threatened to fuck. him. up. if he steps out of line as far as she and her friends are concerned.

Neil: I was hoping we’d see more of the Neil-struggles-with-medicine-and-his-father’s-expectations plot, but it was done away with for this Ganpati wala track. Maybe next week? Shout out to him for his adorable wardrobe filled with cartoon characters, even a Tweety Bird waala kurta that he wore to Ganpati!

Rahil: Ride or die for Sid, and I’m so glad these two soft boys are best bros. They deserve each other. He seems to be pretty close with Sid’s mom too, which makes me wonder what his family situation is? It was nice to finally see Rahil integrated into the group of residents, teaming up with Asha and Aman to get the truth out of Rishabh. I also like that despite his own terrible injuries, he takes charge of the situation when Sid is injured and gets him the first aid he requires at the moment by instructing Asha/Aman/Neil what to do. Nice progress from that first case where he was panicking and Ishani had to step in. He’s inconsolable when they reach the hospital though, and unwilling to leave Sid’s side to get his own injuries looked at. Best boy, all the love for him!!!!!!!! 

Shashank: Lord above, what a week for poor Dr. Shashank. All his children are spontaneously combusting and giving this poor man the worst week of his life (probably.) Anjali unrepentantly blew up his personal and professional relationship with Juhi, Juhi is freezing him the fuck out (I refuse to believe that he has any romantic feelings for her unless he says so himself, out loud), Sid has been brought in at the brink of death, and Ishani is on the verge of a breakdown blaming herself for what happened with Sid. For godssake, this poor man is still recovering from a VERY MAJOR BRAIN SURGERY! Could y’all cut him some damn slack, you terrible little brats!?! He’s trying his best to manage; diplomatically addressing the issue with Anjali, trying to engage in conversation with Juhi, comforting Ishani and friends about Sid, but gosh, he’s really struggling to keep his head above water. Also, the overwrought reaction about Sid......... We’re supposed to think he’s Sid’s father right? But would they really do that to this character???? Make him romantically involved with Juhi AND have an illegitimate child with another woman? Very unlikely that they’d make him such a horndog. So one of these plotlines has to give up, and I really hope that it’s the Juhi one. I can begrudgingly tolerate him being Sid’s dad, but being in romantic love with a woman who was canonically a daughter-figure to him for all these years? Un-fucking-acceptable.

Sid’s mom: We don’t have a name yet, but Aarti Bahl (aka Ekta Sohini) also played Nurse Padma Bansal Gupta (Shashank’s second wife) in DMG after Shilpa Tulaskar left. So is she Padma here too, or a whole new character with the same face? As for why the previous actress was replaced, I have a feeling it was because she didn’t look age-appropriate and/or conventionally “attractive” to be paired against Mohnish for this “is Shashank Sid’s father?” plotline. I’m not sure what to make of Aarti’s acting, she seemed very stiff with that forced smile throughout the Ganpati function; and wasn’t too impressive in the scenes where she was panicking and hiding from Shashank either. The scenes I really liked her in were when she was lovingly fussing over Ishani, and later in the hospital when she remarked how proud she was of Sid for standing up to protect the honour of a woman. She has a very soft and calming voice, and her dialogue delivery is really pleasant and soothing, so I’m hoping I grow to like her in this character.

Juhi: Juhi’s not really having a great week either, but she’s a boss bitch who has everything (mostly) in control and I am so fucking happy to see that. I’m glad she didn’t fall apart over the “truth” or try to leave Sanjivani over it - curtly stating to Shashank that she’s signed a contract and intends to honour it, unless he fires her again. She has a brief confusing moment with him while conducting a motor function assessment to determine his fitness to do surgery again, but other than that, she’s all pulled together. She’s mostly brusque with Shashank, trying to prove that she deserves to be here because of her capabilities, and trying to break out from under his shadow to be a proficient COS in her own right; but she’s also gently firm with him when he emotionally barges in trying to help with Sid, insisting that she has it under control and assuring that she will not let anything happen to him. It’s so great to see her balance both her medical/admin skills as well as the firm-yet-empathizing demeanor so ably.

Anjali: Oh Anjali. I love you but you have some serious daddy issues that you need heavy-duty therapy for. On one hand, I understand why she is so resentful and passive-aggressive the way she is (Sayantani’s portrayal compels us to peek beneath the layers!) but on the other, she really had no right to throw Shashank under the bus like that. But I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the way she did it - so bloody spectacularly; unfazed at getting slapped by her father in front of her “rival”, chugging down a whole glass of wine and insulting Juhi’s cooking before she left for the night. So tragic, yet so fucking hilarious. On a professional front, I’m predicting that she’s gonna tire of this Luxury Ward COS post real soon, since it only seems to have her stand around kowtowing to rich assholes like a receptionist of some sort. I can only hope that she wises up to Vardhan’s BS soon enough, instead of serving as collateral damage and falling into the quagmire he’s planning with Rahul to target Shashank/Juhi.

Vardhan: Not much of Vardhan this week other than him entering that secret room he’s built for Rahul in the Luxury Ward. Good. I prefer him in small, controlled doses. And at least we have some clarification that even with all his shady crap, he’s not as horrible a human being as Rishabh - stating that even though he doesn’t like the way Sid operates within Sanjivani, he hopes he pulls through in surgery.

Overall Rating: 4/5

[fictionalnormalcy]

Sinister Future

Okay, honestly I am loving the concept of Sword Art Online: Project Alicization. Let me first say this. I called it!!! I always had the theory that someone from Laughing Coffin who had survived the game would come back and attack Kirito! I’ll admit that I forgot a third perpetrator had escaped from the Gun Gale attack. However, I did not imagine that they would try to get revenge on Kirito. I still wonder for what reason Johnny Black attacked Kirito. Was it because he caught his partners, or that he was part of the group that eliminated his guild in Sword Art Online?

I tried to give a little evidence to my theory, to try to lean toward a side. I haven’t caught up on all of the episodes, I still have about four episodes left to catch up. So these questions may yet to be answered. Okay, so we know that Black knew Kirito personally, in that knowing that the young sword-fighter seriously kicked his ass and got him imprisoned. In the midst of attacking Asuna, when Kirito rushed in and defended her. But for sure, Black remembered those faces. Now, from what we saw of the Gun Gale attack, the people who were attacked alongside Sinon, were not SAO survivors. Just people that they did not approve of. But I wondered, two of the three perpetrators were SAO survivors, while the other was a heavy GGO player. It made me wonder, did the Laughing Coffin members ever actually consider SAO players to be targets as well? We saw that Death Gun had a personal drive to kill Kirito in Bullet of Bullets, but since Kazuto’s body was actually protected unlike the other targets, maybe they just couldn’t make him one as well. 

When we saw Shinkawa declare his love for Asada, yet still threatening her, it was in the nick of time that Kazuto came to save her. But because he interfered in Shinkawa’s intended actions, the syringe was buried into him instead of Asada. Incidentally missing him because an electrode had been left behind. I guessed that he would be attacked in the same way at some point in the future. There were SAO survivors who carried their grudge from the virtual world into the physical world. But we saw Kirito being targeted more often than Asuna, who was there at the same time that they acquired that grudge against the Black Swordsman. 

Just want to put this out there, but I feel that Johnny Black looks like Shigaraki Tomura from My Hero Academia, with a few differences lol. Okay moving on. It also brings me to wonder why it took a year (it seems a year because Asada is enlisting Kirito’s and Asuna’s help for the next BoB, and then with Eugeo saying he was eleven when Alice was taken, suggesting that both he and Kirito are 17), for Black to find Kirito. And he could clearly see that it was both the people he harbored hatred for, and the same thing occurred. Black dove forward, and Kirito shoved Asuna aside to take on the full brunt of the attack. 

We can also see that a Death Gun still existed from the first episode, when we see that the group of friends are fighting off player killers in GGO. Those few scenes, when a man looks through the drone’s camera, and sees two kids who are unmistakably Kirito and Asuna, and asks his boss if he can join his comrades in the field. He’s refused, but when we see him pull up his hood, we see the distinct appearance of Death Gun. 

Interestingly, the injection came to play in with the other side of the plot. In the first episode I was confused, because seeing a younger Kirito made my eyes widen. When I was introduced to Alice, I instantly thought, Alice in Wonderland. And she’s dressed really similar to her! We were also given an almost immediate sign that it was a virtual world of sorts, and you could tell that Kirito had really bonded with Eugeo and Alice. Also something that was crystal clear was the fact that you could tell Kirito was different than the others. I mean, he was the one to push them into exploring the cave. He was the one who tried to fight the Integrity Knight so they wouldn’t take Alice. He was the anomaly. 

Yet when Kazuto talked about it in the real life, you could tell that he didn’t recall his actions, or have access to his real life memories when inside the virtual world. When watching the Project Alicization episode, I did get some answers and evidence, but some questions still lingered. At the moment that Black injected Kazuto, it was in the same area where he had said earlier that there was an electrode. So for a while I thought that it was a repeated event, just like with Shinkawa, that maybe Black had miraculously missed. However, when we see him collapse to the ground, unconscious and clutching his shoulder, we see that unfortunately, Black struck true. 

My mind makes me think something else happened. That Black injected right next to the electrode, and somehow it caused him to enter the virtual world once again, but this time maintain his memories of the real life and not be the boy who had been only eleven. Kirito himself said he didn’t remember anything from when he dived into the virtual world at his job. Who knows how many times they had Kirito dive and maintain that same Kirito persona, the boy who had grown up with Eugeo and Alice. They also don’t mention just how long Kirito had been at this part-time job. From what I can predict, as well as blocking Kirito’s own memories, the ones in the virtual world had their memories altered as well. So that history had passed, like Kirito had never existed. The memory block went both ways. Affecting Kirito as well as those in the virtual world. 

Let’s add the new input of information. Kikuoka confesses to Asuna how Kirito was actually being used in the experiment. One of the three crucial people needed for the AI experiment. Kirito was effectively put into a world as a corruption, where he would be the one who would change things. But when he was pulled out of that world after he caused Alice to be taken away, history was changed like he had never existed. Eugeo never says it, only says that he and Alice had ventured to the caves and that she’d placed the tips of her fingers into the Dark Territory. But he didn’t know, that if he had remembered properly, it was Kirito’s fault for what happened to Alice. Eugeo could come to hate Kirito for what he had done. 

Things have changed now. A 17-year-old Kirito has now stepped back into the world, with no one knowing who he was. He is effectively, the Kirito from another reality, not the one Eugeo had grown up with. Yet still the corruption he had once been. He’s still inspiring a spur of movement. Kirito once again gained a friendship with Eugeo, and made the other boy look at Kirito in awe. Even though Eugeo did not remember Kirito, you could see that some of the younger Kirito’s influence still lingered subconsciously. The fact that Eugeo returned to get the Blue Rose sword, that he remembered the story of the hero Bercouli, and that Kirito was still the drive that pushed him to fight. 

Kirito is still a corruption, because he hastened a Calling that had been in place since the beginning of time. Using the sword instead of the axe, and chopping the demon tree that had been there and chopped at for over 300 hundred years. The goblin attack had changed both Kirito and Eugeo, made them stronger so they now had authority over the Blue Rose sword. The reason why they had to undergo the attack, was because they went looking for Selka. Another sign of corruption, no one had ever told Selka what had happened to her older sister, and hence Kirito did, having no idea of what would come of the consequence. She went to the cave, and almost got herself kidnapped. Eugeo was almost killed, because of a newcomer who was an anomaly. 

The idea with the injection is just a theory. The episode Project Alicization did provide some insight in what the virtual world actually is and what role Kiritio plays in it. The fact that he’s the anomaly that will bring the AI’s to commit murder so they can be put to military use. Think about it though. Kikuoka confesses that they had to lie to Kirito so they could employ him. Rath is a straight-up sinister organization. For me, it’s still not crystal clear whether or not Kirito was incidentally placed into the virtual world, or as part of the “treatment program”. Because at the same time, there is evidence to support either option. Kikuoka admits that Kirito was put into Underworld as a young child, of the anomaly to be raised as a young child. So that covers the first time around, what we see in the first episode, and how Rath sees that Alice is someone they could get to deviate from the system. But Kikuoka doesn’t mention the second time, where Kirito is as of that moment. 

I also believe, that if they did place him in the virtual world for a second time, why leave him with his real life memories this time around? They took complete advantage of the injection. I’m going to say it again, Rath is STRAIGHT-UP SINISTER. They employed a 17 year old boy, one who has several years of experience with VRMMO worlds, and who is an SAO survivor. A boy who was completely ideal, because aside from him and his other friends, we aren’t given the implication that other SAO players are still playing video games. However, they recruited a boy whose past still haunts him even after all those years. Lying to him in the process, because if he knew Rath’s true intentions he would never have agreed to take on the job in the first place.

I mean, but look at the other side of this. The reality. Asuna found Kirito, and she told the other girls. But what about Mrs. Kirigaya? She receives a call that her nephew, the boy she practically raised, was attacked and injected with a killing poison. She arrives to the hospital, to discover that they managed to save him in time, but there’s a high probability that he will never awaken, and that he requires further treatment that the hospital cannot provide. She is then approached by a man who has worked with Kirito, told that her nephew can be transferred to another facility that had the proper treatment needed. Give him a more likely chance of awakening from a poison that was supposed to leave the victim for dead, their heart stopped and damage irreversible. She consents, and then arrives at that facility to see the condition of Kirito, only to be turned away. Lied to, when in truth her son was transferred to a remote island, in the middle of the sea. Maybe Suguha told her after she found out from Asuna, but that still doesn’t make matters better. It’s basically a repeat of the Sword Art Online incident, a long period of Kirito asleep, unknown if he would ever awake, but at least at that time his family had access to him. 

Rath places Kirito back into the Underworld simulation, so that even while he’s unconscious yet still receiving treatment and staying alive, he’s fulfilling what they recruited him for in the first place. So his role as a corruption would bring the concept of murder into the simulation. They aren’t giving the treatment as a benefit for Kirito, it’s for themselves. It’s like,” Hey this kid was injected with a really lethal drug, his brain was damaged, and he might never wake up. Let’s put him back into the Underworld, but he can have his memories this time. It won’t matter, probably won’t wake up anyway, and he still won’t know what we’re using him for. How convenient for us, that the boy we’re using for this operation was attacked.”

Sword Art Online: Project Alicization is following this basic timeline. Kirito is given a part-time job for an organization that is seeking to use beings with Artificial Intelligence for military use, but to do that they must be willing to commit murder, and not have to worry about facing a consequence. The first trial is proving to be successful, but then a real-life event occurs that takes away any restrictions the trials previously had. Kirito stands almost to no chance of ever awakening because of the lethal injection, and is trapped in a virtual world. And the biggest problem is, there is no ending to this. I mean sure, we could get the happy ending where Kirito does wake up in his reality, but it doesn’t seem likely. The world he’s placed into only has one ending, should Kirito not achieve what he was placed in for. (which he most definitely will, judging by the later episodes) Kirito can’t log out, he can only grow old, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that once he’s killed or dies naturally he’ll wake up in the real world. 

The events of Season 3 weigh on Kirito being exploited and his friends not being able to do anything to stop it. All because a man hell-bent on revenge succeeded in injecting his final victim with a lethal injection.

But hey at least Kirito is being paid for his service for the malicious organization of Rath. Or wait, the treatment could be his “payment”.

[lbibliophile-mcu]

Written for @star-spangled-bingo​ (Crack fic) @buckybarnesbingo​ (B5 - Fix-it Fic)

Pairings Steve/Peggy, Steve/Bucky

Rating G

Tags Time Travel, Canon compliant, Fix-it, Headcanon/outline format

Word Count 795

Summary Steve’s ending in Endgame had many logic flaws, in both plot and characterisation but this focuses on answering one in particular: where did the shield Steve gives Sam come from? Because there is one Captain America shield per Captain America Steve Rogers, and his was destroyed. That means that Sam’s shield must have belonged to the younger/alternate Steve. So what happened to him? or My attempt to fill in plot holes, and make Steve’s canon ‘happy ending’ actually work.

[Full fic also below the cut]

The final battle against Thanos leaves a ruined shield but a living Captain America.

Steve goes gallivanting off through time returning the Stones, and along the way decides to take a detour and have a life with Peggy. He shows up in the 40s (either just after he crashed or some years later, both have complications with how to explain his presence), finds Peggy, and tells her at least some of the time travel shenanigans he’s been involved with.

First she tells him off; and it takes a while. There’s the whole plane-crash ‘heroic sacrifice’ thing – but look, he’s fine now. Then there’s the fact that he abandoned his friends in the future (especially Bucky!) – but he just couldn’t do it anymore; Tony is gone, and Nat is gone, and he never really fitted anyway. Then there’s his attitude towards meddling with time and alternate realities, selfishly chasing his own ‘happy ending’ (and didn’t he just say she died old and happy, how does he know that getting back together with her wartime fling is better?) – which… fair point, but he had the opportunity and he had to try.

Properly chastened (and bribing her with future knowledge), they start working together and actually get to know each other; eventually ending up dating properly. Using Steve’s fore‑knowledge they manage to find alt!Steve – and the shield – after only months or years instead of decades.

Alt!Steve is surprised to be alive, but meeting Endgame!Steve is far more disconcerting than the comparatively minor time skip. The group dynamics are awkward for a bit, but things get at least a bit easier when alt!Steve quickly realises that what he had with Peggy was actually just respect, admiration and a bit of a crush (E!Steve is honestly rather embarrassed by how fast alt!Steve is able to get over it. Given his obsession with returning to the past and Peggy, and her telling off when he arrived… so much for a love for the ages).

At the same time as looking for alt!Steve, they’ve also been trying to find and rescue Bucky. With alt!Steve’s assistance, they finally succeed. Bucky is hurt and traumatised and armless, but still mostly himself; not yet the Winter Soldier. (And, for the second time, E!Steve is thrown for a loop. He hadn’t realised just how much his memories of Bucky had been altered by nostalgia and his strained friendship with E!Bucky; this is still not his Bucky that he’s longed for.) Alt!Steve however, has no problems with supporting Bucky and picks up their friendship right where it left off - and apparently, part of the force behind his crush on Peggy had been denial over his feelings for his best friend. Well then. E!Steve isn’t quite sure what to think about that.

So, now they have one shield, two Captain Americas and two significant others.

Alt!Steve decides to retire. He became Captain America to fight in the war, and now the war is over. He defeated the Red Skull and sacrificed himself to save America; his role is done. Yes, Hydra was only driven underground, but he doesn’t have the skills to chase them out. Besides, Bucky needs him. Bucky, who suffered so much, and only fought for as long as he did because he was following his friend. And what he needs now is Steve’s support, not his vengeance. So Steve drops the shield and the name, and finds other ways to save the world.

E!Steve takes up the shield once more. Captain America is much more integral to his sense of identity; it was all he had to cling to when he woke from the ice, and he’s lived it all the years since then. For all his daydreams of retirement, he doesn’t know how to live without the fight. And it’s not like Peggy would be willing to retire with him, not after all the effort she put into getting where she is. Instead she is spearheading the transition from the SSR to SHIELD; it is easy enough to fold Captain America into the new structure (and he makes very sure that this SHIELD does not become a breeding ground for HYDRA remnants).

They now have one shield, two couples and two happy endings.

Decades later, E!Steve decides that the world is such that the alt!reality no longer needs a Captain America. Following an old promise he made to himself, he travels (temporarily!) back to the Endgame!reality. He lets them know about the successful completion of all three of his missions—returning the Stones, being Captain America, and getting a life—and passes the shield on to Sam.

One shield, one Captain America, and two Steves enjoying retirement.

[rhodesmystery]

what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely

HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?

this got long so under the cut

they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school

natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places. 

this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley

second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.

third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly

OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.

except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.

sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.

they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.

seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol

same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.

theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that. 

i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol

and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.

in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.

early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.

natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.

idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.

in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)

in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed. 

they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development. 

DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH

also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY

[arabellaflynn]

So the confusing unexpected birthday party went pretty okay. And by 'pretty okay' I mean the room as a whole achieved a level of drunkenness that inspired everyone to share reminiscences of previous instances of drunkenness. It turns out that several of the old guard went to college together, so I got to hear tales of shit-faced shenanigans that occurred while I was still learning to walk. One of them brought his sister, with whom I had a thoughtful discussion about how tequila is a series of terrible decisions in a bottle. Helpful hint: When someone starts out their story with a trick question like, "Okay, if you were completely hammered, would you rather crawl naked into bed with [dude who is standing RIGHT THERE, participating in the conversation], or crawl naked into bed with a total stranger?" the only reasonable response is to pause thoughtfully for half a second and say, "Well, what does this total stranger look like?" I didn't get to hear the rest of the story, as they were both doubled over laughing, but it did keep me out of worse trouble. All of which is to say that I am now apparently part of this social circle, which is a difficult thing to wrap my head around, as one of the centerpieces of it is the Executive Artistic Director here at the studio. While there is no real separation between the volunteer corps and the clientele who teach and dance here -- which is lovely and a complete 180 from all the things that irked me about the church-based groups I encountered in Arizona -- there is a definite hierarchy that emerges in the people who run the place. The volunteers are at the bottom, mainly because they are almost all new kids and most of them vanish before a year is up; then the event staff and stage crew, who get contracts and are paid actual money; then the semi-permanent office staff, who have weekly meetings to which the lower ranks are not invited; then the EAD, who answers mainly if not solely to the board. The facilities manager is pretty integral, but also pre-dates literally everything except the physical building, cannot be forced into staff meetings if she doesn't feel like going, and is not argued with when she puts her foot down about the budget. And then there is me. I have been convinced for a while that I am the only person here who talks to all of the other departments, and have yet to see any evidence to suggest otherwise.  They like to put me in charge of things when someone else has an emergency and can't be here. Which is fine, until I point out that I need something in order to do that properly, at which time they remind me of my place in the world. Nobody is irreplaceable, and I do try to stay in my lane enough to make life easier on all of us, but if I got hit by a bus they would definitely notice. None of this is any particular secret, although for the sake of my sanity I've decided it's probably best to not mention any birthday parties to the randos at the desk with me. Explaining the whole thing would be stupidly complicated, especially to people who don't know who Mr. New York Producer is, why he's a VIP here, or what kind of God-given obliviousness prompted him to invite crew to the EAD's birthday bash. It genuinely is obliviousness, I've decided, plus for whatever reason he likes me. This is the third year running that someone has come barrelling out of the woodwork going HELLO, FRIEND! and I'm left going hello, er, what? When did this happen? Why do you know who I am? Once is a miracle, twice is a coincidence, three times is enemy action my annual springtime tradition, apparently. He has started hugging me on a regular basis, which is pretty normal around here, and also developed a habit of catching my hand briefly on his way out, which is less so. For those of you not in theater, hugging is a common form of communication. Most people use it for 'hello' and 'goodbye', much like the cheek-kiss common in Europe; many also use it for 'thanks' and 'congrats' and 'sympathy'; and some pretty much just default to 'we appear to be existing in the same room, and I don't particularly dislike you'. Theater people are a huggy bunch, is my point. It's not an especially cosmic sign, but it does mean I've transitioned from the Geselleschaft 'person who works at the venue' to the Gemeinschaft 'person I know'. The hand-catch is not common, and in fact I've been operating on the assumption that it's a bit of ballroom dialect, as the only people who do it regularly are Ye Ballroom Instructor and the Eccentric. It's a generalized acknowledgement whose exact significance depends on context, but one of its most common meanings is 'thanks for the dance', when the room is too noisy for speaking. How cosmic -- or not -- that sign is, I've no idea. The Eccentric does things like that a lot because he is very invested in his friendships, and I know that because we've had that discussion in so many words. Ye Ballroom Instructor is harder to get a bead on, since he'd really rather gnaw his own arm off than talk about any of this. (It's worth noting that the most overtly panicked I've ever seen him was when he was about to say something he was afraid would make me think he didn't want me hanging around, and the only time I've ever heard him raise his voice was when he was worried he hadn't gotten across that that WAS. NOT. TRUE.) I make most of my friends the normal way, by having conversations with them over time, but those two are the main examples I have for people who woke up one morning and decided to write my name on their list of Favorite People, and forgot to send me a notification. I find the English language fails here. This is yet another case of, "would definitely be flirting if it were not you," and there is no good way to talk about that. We have eighty million ways to describe the things you do to try to charm your way into someone's pants, but nothing fit for purpose when talking about someone who is just trying very, very, very earnestly to make friends. I also find it disconcerting when the people I pay attention to pay attention back. Were it not for the embargo I keep on the real names of people I have to interact with in person, I would post video of some of his performances. They are in many ways of a kind with the things I post about people like Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett, or Stephen Colbert and John Stewart -- one of his specialties, whether or not he is aware of it, is just to connect with whoever he's dancing with, and make that connection part of the piece. His group comes through 2-3 times a year, and I used to sneak off to the balcony to watch whatever bits he was doing. Things on stage are fair game for me to gawk at. Couldn't tell you how much of it is intentional acting and how much is just what happens when he performs, but given how he's behaving with me now, I'm guessing this is just sort of a running theme in his life. from Blogger http://bit.ly/2Wg6ock via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

[one-ishmael]

Chapter 13: Wheelbarrow

Today we’ve got another nice little chunk of narrative, after those low-key backstory and religious chapters. But, it also finds plenty of time for fun little asides and bits of philosophy here and there, so it ends up being quite long.

I’m trying to get out of the mode of going through the whole chapter point by point. There’s just too much in this book, and its very existence warns against that kind of close analysis as a sisyphean task. So, I will try to restrict myself to the points and observations I find most interesting.

SUMMARY: Ishmael and Queequeg have breakfast at the Spouter-Inn and then set off with all their luggage in a borrowed wheelbarrow to find the ferry over to Nantucket. They ramble through town and chat some more, exchanging anecdotes as they go. They board the ferry, a schooner called “the Moss”, and are revived by the sight and smell of the sea. On the trip to Nantucket, Queequeg is mocked by a couple of green country bumpkins, causing him to throw one into the air, flip him around, and land him on his feet. The bumpkin complains to the captain, who warns Queequeg against further mischief. That very same bumpkin falls in the water when a boom flies loose, and Queequeg then not only secures the boom but rescues the bumpkin, saving his life.

As I said, quite a bit going on here. Let’s hit some notable points.

There is a running theme in this chapter of people reacting to the close friendship of Ishmael and Queequeg, an ordinary New Yorker and a cannibal from the other side of the world. Even the other whalers in the Spouter-Inn mock them, and they really ought to be worldly enough to accept such things. They get stares on the streets of New Bedford, and then endure mockery at the hands of bumpkins aboard “the Moss”.

You can see a couple of interesting things here. One is that while we’ve been assured that the presence of strange folks from all over the world is considered No Big Deal in the whale fishery or on the streets of noted whaling town New Bedford, the friendship between one of them and a white sailor makes everyone look twice. It’s okay for “savages” to be around as long as they act and are treated properly, as outsiders. It is necessary to have them around, but they are not to be brought in and integrated into the social fabric. They must keep their own counsel, any actual mixing between races, even in friendship, is shocking and forbidden.

You can see where I’m going with this, it’s the old colonial/slave trade fear of miscegenation. It’s always struck me as very strange, something really “of the past”, but there are people still living who are violently opposed to it. It’s an ancient idea, really, the whole separation of in-groups and out-groups and whatnot, but the way it was applied to the scheme of racism in the colonial Americas is really particularly vile.

Ah, but I shouldn’t get too far off track. The purpose of these passages in this particular chapter is a little different. This mockery is there so that Queequeg can respond to it, and thus again prove his superiority.

You see, Queequeg doesn’t really care. He is above such petty concerns as what other people think of him. He is stoic in the face of this mockery, and takes a longer and wider view. After relating a story of not knowing how to use a wheelbarrow when he first arrived in America, he tells a story about some visiting traders in his own homeland were ignorant of dining customs. Everyone has something they can laugh at other people about. No need to get all riled up about it, it’s all in good fun.

Which is not to say that he will allow himself to be mocked, as we see on “the Moss” when he tosses that bumpkin into the air, but again it’s just teasing back and forth. The general rule, again, is to just take things in stride. Queequeg knows that he can rely on his physical power to make up for any social shortcomings. He walks around town with a razor sharp harpoon in his hand, those New Bedford townies can say whatever they like behind his back but they’re not going to disrespect him to his face.

Ishmael follows his lead, but instead of an inner confidence he’s simply too distracted by internal philosophizing and the joy of his new friendship to really care. When they arrive at the docks, both Ishmael and Queequeg are revived:

Gaining the more open water, the bracing breeze waxed fresh; the little Moss tossed the quick foam from her bows, as a young colt his snortings. How I snuffed that Tartar air!—how I spurned that turnpike earth!—that common highway all over dented with the marks of slavish heels and hoofs; and turned me to admire the magnanimity of the sea which will permit no records.

And we see here again that disdain for the land and love of the sea. The land is common and pedestrian, set in its ways, but the sea is mysterious and ever-changing. It allows escape from the boring everyday life, and even toil upon it is more exciting and inspiring. Remember that this book began with a description of the way that all humanity is drawn to water.

Anyway, this chapter also has one of my favorite bits of prose:

But there were some boobies and bumpkins there, who, by their intense greenness, must have come from the heart and centre of all verdure.

Ishmael really has no patience for country bumpkins whatsoever. It is his one prejudice.

Ah, another long chapter down. Next time, we’ll finally get to Nantucket! And hoo boy does Ishmael have some things to say about that venerable speck of an island.

Until next time, shipmates!

Image credits:

A beggar carrying his wife in a wheelbarrow (1470-1490), by B x G

September (1638), by Paulus Furst

[youreader-aus]

This is a long post with me rambling about a Spider-Man AU where Peter never was Spider man but instead Miles Morales is the og spiderman and they’re friends, so let’s get to it:

Miles was bitten by a random radioactive spider when he was like 20 years old and just got his powers when he saved 15 yo Peter Parker and his uncle Ben from a mugging (that in another universe would have killed Ben)

Miles was scrapped by a bullet and accidentally used his electric powers to subdue the guy

Miles was very scared of going to the hospital for the same reason he was struggling alone with his power despite having trustful friends and that was: he was scared

The x-men are a thing in this universe (like a known superhero group) but mutants still suffer a lot with discrimination so Miles knows powers are a thing that exists but doesn’t really know how to contact a mutant that could help him

Back to Miles meeting Ben and Peter:

Ben can’t convince him to go to a hospital and doesn’t press cause he’s a understanding and perceptive guy. He and Peter get him to their house so May can help him, tho

So this three strangers knows miles secret and he is very sus (politely ofc) about them but they promise him that his secret is safe and insists to show their gratitude someway (like a dinner or something), may also wants to makes sure the wound is healing properly so he kinda has to visit them again

They become friends, maybe the Parkers and Miles’ parents get to meet cause I love me some good friendship

Miles is a college student but I really don’t know enough about science to know which major he has but I know it has to do with robotics??? I know his best friend Ganke (also in college) studies software stuff and Peter’s major will have to do with biochem

Miles will start his vigilantism and Ganke will be the only one who knows that

I never read any comic but if I’m not mistaken Miles mother’s death is what motivated him? Just wanted you to know this didn’t happen here. I think of his parents pretty much as the ones in the spider verse movie (except his dad being a cop cause that makes me uncomfy)

I’ll put an almost death on his mother tho, when he was little or not even existed and she might have a scar or disability that makes Miles conscious about how even surviving violence can continue affecting people even after years

That, plus Ben stuff and knowing about heroes and the mutants inspires him to want to help people

Gorke, like in the comics(or at least is what wiki says) will help him with designing his spider suit and work with him in tech he uses

They’re making improvements as they go

Miles and Ganke are interns at Stark industries and there they occasionally work with Gwen Stacy who is a good friend and is very sus of them, she knows they’re hiding something

The internet, of course, is aware of the new vigilant that does lots of parkour, has cool powers and calls himself Spider-Man

And that’s how Peter finds about Spider-Man, he is very amazed by him and seeing videos he recognizes Miles because of the the way he talks (he uses a voice modifier) but also because he recognizes the powers

I didn’t mention Miles or Ganke making web fluid and that’s because it’s Peter’s creation

He’s in the final stages of creating it, like it’s mostly functional but smells bad and he’s correcting it? Idk shit tbh

He was going to use it as a registration for a stark program that pays for education or something (again, idk shit) but instead he gives it to Miles

He talks to him like “I know ur secret identity and if I conected the dots that easily it means that the moment ben and may know about Spider-Man they’ll know it you so you better tell them yourself on your own terms” which he does and helps a lot cause Ganke was helping him in the hero business but he’s not qualified to treat injuries like May is.

After giving Spider-Man his iconic webs and therefore the ability to swing around he is integrated as a tech support, he and Ganke get along very well

I love mcu Ned and my Peter is basically a mcu Peter with a twist so I want him to have a Ned (and MJ) and I know they pretty much made Ned based on Ganke but I’ll just close my eyes about it and they’ll both exist. Since i don’t know Ganke in the comics I’ll just use the little appearances he has in the spider verse movie as a guide for his personality (I like his design in the comics so I’m keeping it)

So Ganke is very focused, has really bad sleep habits (aka he doesn’t sleep), is very chill and has a dry sense of humor. He also has a resting bitch face.

He will be the introvert for Miles Extrovert and it’s pretty much that couple of friends that everyone thinks is very cool and kinda wish they could be friends with.

Miles and Peter banter a lot and have a kind of a siblings dynamics where Miles acts like an embarrassing big brother and Peter acts like he doesn’t like it (he also wanted siblings tho so he lives for it)

Peter was a bit scared of Ganke at first because he thought Ganke didn’t like him (cause of rbf) but after they start talking science and working on Spider-Man stuff together they get closer. They even find the Lego interest they have in common and he, Ned and Ganke start to hang out to construct their things (I also don’t know shut about legos lol)

Ned pretty much sees Ganke and Miles as ‘cool college people that are kinda my best friends older brothers?’ And likes them a lot

Ned has no idea Miles is Spider-Man BUT he knew Peter was working on the web fluid and even helped occasionally with brainstorming.

It’s because of Ned that Miles finds out peter was going to use the web fluid project to get a scholarship and feels bad about it, Peter insists it’s ok and that saving lives and stopping violence is more important

Back to Ned:

When Peter stopped giving him updates about his project and not long after Spider-Man started to swing Ned connected the dots and was like “Peter u have a secret to tell me? U can trust me I would never judge u for having superpowers and I can keep your secret identity a secret” to which Peter was so surprised he blurted something about giving the web fluid for Spider-Man

He convinces Ned that he just thought it would be perfect and wandered at night till he met Spider-Man and gave it to him, Ned is only half convinced Peter is not Spider-Man

He doesn’t tell Ned he knows Spider-Man identity but Ned knows for sure Peter is the one to make Spider-Man’s web fluid

Peter feels very guilty about lying to Ned and also feels guilty for saying anything at all about Miles secret, he tells him and while Miles is concerned he is also very amused (he knows Ned can’t be discreet, he’s worse then Peter who is already awful at lying but the situation where Ned was convinced Peter was Spider-Man is pretty funny, Peter is ofc too clumsy to be Spider-Man)

Spider-Man works with some of the Avengers a couple of times before Bruce (or Tony? or both) ask about his tech and webs

He tells them he works on his tech but has help of some people and that the web fluid is a creation of a high schooler that gives it to him (he says the same story Peter told Ned)

He is very impulsive when he says it and almost regrets it immediately (cause it could compromise his secret identity) but when Banner is impressed Miles goes on about how the kid would use it for the science money program thing Bruce is like “give me his name, I’ll make Tony sponsor him”

Miles does, he’s aware of how much this might compromise his identity but he knows Tony stark probably already knows his identity (or could know if he wanted) and is only being polite about not mentioning it.

He does ask Tony when they talk about it to not officially put Peter as the web creator cause he doesn’t want Peter to be focus of any of his enemies.

Tony hires Peter as an intern, not the first high school intern but it’s very rare but he also convinces Miles to say who more helps him with the tech, he reasons that hiring them and making they work on it in a professional place will give them more resources

Them Miles gives his own name and Ganke’s too.

Miles identity is like a secret the avengers (or at least Bruce and Tony) knows about but no ones talks about how they know.

I’m not sure I want to go deep into the ‘is ilegal to be a vigilant’ thing so let’s just say: Spider-Man is Avenger-adjacent, he’s affiliated to them but is not an official Avenger and has permission from shield to work as a hero (I like to think Tony helps hide Miles identity from shield)

That’s all I have about this AU for now, I’m gonna call it Earth 222 because I like the number ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so anything I write about it will be tagged as Earth 222

I’m not sure about writing more but I might, I really like Aaron (Miles uncle) in the spider verse movie and might want to integrate him to this somehow? I also could expand on Gwen and MJ and Wade Wilson (deadpool) but lets see

[dontmindmedear]

Rare Pair Dragon Rider AU

Notes:

pairings may be changed to one’s liking, but keeping them rare pairs would be preferable

individual stories and story development is free for interpretation and changeable

Seriously, this is all just a raw draft. Change it as you like

tbh I just thought this up bc I wanted Bokuto to fuck Oikawa with golden glowing Dragon eyes. Sue me

Dragons:

females:

wild ones live away from humans, in peace. humans don’t hurt them, they stay away from what belongs to humans. occasionally one of them brings an egg to a breeder station on the outskirts as a present and sign of friendship. in exchange, the baby will be brought back to its wild flock if they can't seem to be integrated

living in the breeder station: most of them were born here. by the time they were able to decide whether to get paired with a rider or stay, they developed the desire to breed or take care of young ones. others didn’t want to leave their breeders side, as the breeders have a closer Relationship with them as they have with the male dragons (after all they need their absolute trust for when their instincts run wild during pregnancy)

a female that chose the rider way mostly ends up in the teaching area after obligatory military service, since they calm the young once easier, or are in the spy area.

males:

wild ones protect their flocks. do not fight. do not tease. do not underestimate. do not walk too close. they will fight to death if they feel threatened. they rarely go close to human areas.

breeded ones need to go to the academy. mostly to get their instincts under control, away from all the females, and to have a way to get rid if their energy.

since ‘protect’ is part of their instincts, most of them stay in the military or teach younger ones how to protect. a grown a male Dragon has no problems keeping a younger one under control, especially once they earnt their respect with behaviour or actions.

the calmer ones might help out in the town with house building or street safety or work within the city.

A bonded Dragon:

loses interest in breeding. (another reason why not many bonded Dragons are female) therefore they might help to protect the breeding stations and give the females a sense of safety. (some breeding stations see it as mandatory for their breeders to have a bonded Dragon).

they can communicate telepathically with their human and can find them wherever they are. (their mark is like a gps)

their rider is the most important thing for them. nothing, neither Dragon nor human nor lovers nor hobby nor obligation, is of higher importance

Pairings: (D = Dragon, R = Rider)

OiBoku Iwa D + Noya Daichi D + Aka (due to DaiSugas Relationship, Daichi often flies with Suga and Akaashi has to change his style to match Daichi better, which leaves him hesitant and uncertain (when he and daichi fly alone, and Akaashi trusts him enough, he would often let go and spread his arms, enjoying the wind and trusting Daichi completely) SugaKuro (DaiSugas Relationship wasnt a problem for Kuroo, until their telepathy started and he got literal smutty hc. he kinda short circuited, growled and called Suga ‘HIS’ before leaving utterly embarrassed. DaiSuga talked and decided it might be better to break up after all) Kags D + Yahaba (Kags is from Oiks ranch/breeding farm and initiating class. Oiks wants to teach Yaba in managing kags, but Yahaba only smiles) Kai +Asahi D (first AsaOiBoku, but then Kai 'loses' his old dragon, so he’s given Asahi since A rider cannot get bounded to two Dragons) Tsukki + Lev D (Tsukki was really annoyed by him at first, but after seeing him failing and failing again without giving up and finally getting results, he got interested/felt himself being happy with him and somehow got motivated to train and get better as well) KyouKen D + Shirabu (know each other from the initiating classes. are like bitch besties. both have a tough image but a sweet core)

Goshiki D + Kunimi Tendou D + Daishou (‘Monster Duo’. Don't underestimate. Don't anger. Don't provoke.)

Kenma + Yamamoto D (kenma can sharpen his eyesight to "zoom in") Hinata + Tanaka D (hinata can breath fire)

the flock troublemakers refused to let the flock babies out of their sight

both Hinata and Kenma are humans with Dragon blood due to their ancestors. they are cousins

Semi + Aone D; shiba + Yams D; Inuoka D + Sakunami (shiba’s twin)

Fukunaga + Kuguri D (people assume they use telepathy since they both rarely talk)

Yaku + Kindaichi D (yaku is mothering him a lot. since Lev was too young and troublesome, the leader refused to let go of Lev yet and Yaku needed a new Dragon partner. he was switched to Aoba in the meanwhile, and eventually chose Kinchi for the next test. kinkuni wanted to stay a pair, but already realised that wouldnt be possible, so they held their eyes open for other options)

Free/without partners:

Terushima R (initially enemy)

Sakusa (veteran Dragon)

hoshiumi D

Miya Atsumu

Miya Osamu

yamagata R

kawanishi D Flock Leaders: Ennoshita+Futakuchi Makki+Konoha Ushiwaka+Mattsun (Ushiwaka would love to fly with Oiks and takes Mattsun's humour seriously. Mattsun likes that) Watari+Komi Enemies: Wakunan Johzenji (spies)

Higher-Ups/Elders: Ukai (d) got hurt in the last mission while protecting the new teachers and flock leaders,  flew down bc his rider got hurt and got himself hurt in the process. reason why this year a tight relationship between rider and dragon is seen as a bad thing Takeda (r) he limps and cannot fly for a long time anymore Nekomata (d) Ukai senior (d)   Mizoguchi (d) Irihata (r) Washijou (r) at fault for proposing the new system after UkaTake incident happened Teachers: Moniwa (raising Dragons, socialising w/ dragons, has the problem class) Kamazaki (flight training) D Washio  (Fighting, Swords) D Saeko (flame useage/control) D Narita (d, spionage) the supermarket dude (R, spionage) the tech shop dude (fighting Martial Arts) = R Sarukui (transformation) = D Kiyoko (in charge of the Dragons and their caves. no one is allowed into the restricted area without her seal) = magic seal (D) teaches them inside the caves sometimes (has crystal blue shimmering scales) Managers (general education as well as taking care of their students) Michimiya (d, general education for Dragons) Yachi is a teacher (teaches Dragon health) and doctor for Dragons/healer

Flocks:

people in the Kitagawa Daiichi School: (within the group they often switch partners) the groups are parted due to age (age gap up to one year) Group 1: Daichi (d) Oiks (r) Iwa (d) Suga (r) Kuroo (d) Yaku (r) Boku (d) (Akaashi is from Bo's ranch. as long as he's there, bo's fine. that's why he isn't in group 4) Akaashi (r) Group 2: Tendou (d) Aone (d) Daishou (r) Semi (r) Kyou (d) (will join group 4 later) Kenma (r) Yahaba (r) Kuguri (d) Group 3: Goshiki (d) Tsukki (r) Yams (d) Kageyama (d) Kunimi (r) Kindaichi (d) Inuoka(d) Fukunaga (r) Shibayama (r)

Sakunami (r)

Group 4: they all joined a year later due to their 'mental age' (too aggro, too shy or simply unable to sit still and listen properly) Tana (d) Tora (d) Asahi (d) Noya (r) shirabu (r) too salty (dragon rider family. refuses to listen to people of a lower rank than his parents) Hinata (r) Lev (d) they had a 4th R, but he got very very ill soon and had to stop (dragophobie) every 'flock' is made up of people who applied within a certain time frame, are of similar age and who live close to each other. (the dragon mother decides who will take care of her baby, as she abondons it after laying the egg. these mothers can be wild, but friendly dragons, active dragons from active riders or breeding dragons (voluntarily. like to be pregnant or to help out))

Kuroo, Daichi, Iwa, Kags and Kuni are Dragons from Oiks ranch. Suga and Yaku are childhood friends who lived nearby, same for Kindaichi. Kuroo&Daichi are twins. they like to compete and yaku/suga have to stop them. (active Dragonrider parents) Kags and Iwa have the same Dragon mother (wild Dragon. thus if they dont get along with the others they will be sent back into the wilderness. The Dragon Rider School Licence is absolutely necessary for them), but their eggs were taken care of by different people (Oiks parents had their hands full, so they could only take in Iwa). TanaTora are also twins. Kyou’s 'father' was TanaTake's father’s brother or maybe even the same Dragon, but he was hatched on another farm. (at least that's what the breeders assumed since their mothers were wild; similar features and behaviour but no one is sure whether they were really the same Dragon) first real flock (till final exam): (there are tests to determine whether you join a flock, which one, or whether you have to wait half a year. depending on your behaviour you might lose your spot too. over the stretch of the following year, new people can join until all 10 spots are full) AOBA The Allrounder Senior Pair: Makki+Konoha Juniors: Iwa d Oik r Kuni r Kinchi d Yaba r Kyou d + 4 others KARASUNO The hotblooded/energetic ones/creativity Senior pair: Ennoshita+Futakuchi Juniors: Dai D Suga r Tana d Noya r Asa d Hina r Kags d Tsukki r Yams d Kinoshita r NEKOMA The collected ones Senior Pair: Watari+Komi Juniors: Kuroo D Kenma R Tora D Inu D Shiba R Fukunaga R Lev D Yaku R Daishou R

Kuguri D SHIRATORIZAWA The tricky ones (one main attribute) Senior Pair: Ushiwaka+Mattsun Juniors: Tendou d Semi r Shirabu r Goshiki d Aone d Bokuto d Akaashi r Hoshiumi d

Sakunami r +1 rider kai (r) different School/group and older. close to official partnership with his dragon

Story: (story starts from ~first flock to the final exams)

the senior pairs talk about which group they get, with which members, during breakfast/lunch. everyone pities enno. (no one pities futakuchi) most envy ushimatsu. they have the calm ones. (they also have Bo, but he's 'controlled' by Akaashi. Tendou isn’t really a problem. Mattsun actually is really happy about him. 'he'll make sure no one gets too serious') they talk about how lucky they are that 'the old guys' don’t get involved this year. last year's group were kinda forced into partnering with a dragon just bc they were free/thought they suited each other. WataKomi get Nekoma (aka the collected ones). Komi is thrilled to see whether they are really always collected. "But don’t overdo it, okay? we dont wanna scare them off." Watari glances at Komi and just chuckles at his motivated posture. MakkiKono get the Allrounder. everyone makes jokes of Konoha as 'the jack of all trades but master of none'. "the most important thing is to make them see it's ok not to be the best in sth. I think there are some guys though who won’t like this" *dirty grin* "we'll make sure they won’t get too serious"

Every member of the new flocks thinks they’ll get partnered up with the ones they had been partnering with since they got sorted into flocks, but then the incident with Ukai and Takeda happens and they’re informed that they have to switch. Obviously none of them is pleased about that, their mentors even try to argue against it, but order is order. Most are hesitant at first but eventually give in. Only Oikawa and Iwaizumi still refuse, bc they grew up together, Oikawa had even watched Iwaizumi hatching, and they had sworn at a young age that they would do this together. So now not being allowed to do that hurts them both deeply and they try to fight the order, which brings Iwaizumi in trouble since he might be expelled and sent into the wilderness if he keeps acting like that. Therefore, out of worry for his friend, Daichi and Iwa have a talk about what it means to switch Riders. Daichi and Iwaizumi: "You dont wanna fly with Sugawara anymore?" "Oh, I still do! I do want to fly with him." "then why do you allow someone else to ride you? why do you consider to replace him?" Daichi chuckles. "replacing? is that how it seems to you? no, iwaizumi, no. that is wrong! Im not 'replacing' Suga or anything. No one can replace Suga! He's been my best friend and partner ever since I entered this school. and nothing and no one will ever change that." "then why-" "because! taking another rider doesnt diminish or change my feelings for Suga. It wont diminish or destroy anything. Choosing a different Rider, simply means that there will be someone who will mean even more to me someday than Suga does now. and Akaashi is totally worth to be that one." "... I cannot believe that could ever happen to me. there is no way that anyone could ever mean more to me than Oikawa does to me now." More chuckling. "bc you're stubborn! you both are. you're so concentrated, focused, centered on each other that there is no way anyone could ever reach that same level of synchronized trust and compatibility. You and Oikawa have spend YEARS to create the bond you share now. you cannot expect a bond, that is as deep and strong as yours, to appear over night. you have to give it time. if you don’t allow others to come near you, if you don’t allow yourself to feel close to others, if you don’t even consider to give them a choice, then it'll never happen anyway. that's just the way it is." "..." after Iwa finally gives in he still has a hard time to adapt to others but noya breaks into his heart like a lil whirlwind (he fights with dragons and wins lmao) oiks feels betrayed and refuses to talk with Iwa, which upsets Iwa and therefore Noya. Noya has a 'talk' with Oiks during a time frame where he doesn’t have a potential partner yet (the teachers don’t know what to do with him), so he practices with Ushi who would love to have him as a 2nd rider (Mattsun is a bit miffed, but as that would mean more free time for him and more time with makki and konoha and he's really sure oiks would never accept that offer, so he's all chill about it) and helps out with the hatchlings as he's a really skilled rider. Oiks gets another view on the situation and takes some time off to go home to calm down. when he comes back he's offered to train with Asahi and Boku, as they complement each other, kinda. he's a bit confused at first, only one of them would have been ok, until he realises, that they are the only ones without a partner since both are problematic and their preferred partners are already in a partnership.   

Oikawa: Grew up on a Ranch for breeding Dragons, wants to take it over one day. therefore he needs a Dragon Rider License which he can only get after completing the Dragon Rider school.

He was 6~10 (probably 8?) when Iwa hatched and sees in him a younger brother who tries to act more mature than he is. They went to the school together and were in the same initiating class. theoretic riding classes, fighting lessons and later classes like taking care of the dragons they might group up with. Plus basic classes like math and writing. Then they both join the Aoba Jousai flock.

After their "final exam" they were forced into different groups, bc they care about e.o. too much (= possible disobeying of orders in case of injury or panics or loss of concentration and Coolness). Oikawa already interacted with Kags and Daichi during their time at Kitagawa and with Kindaichi at Aoba, so they didn’t try to match him up with them, but tried other setups, which he obviously hindered by refusing to cooperate properly. (OiKuni, OiYaba, OiHina as mentor!Oiks and oiakasuga friendship) 1.OiKuro (shortly, would have lasted longer if Oiks weren't so focused on Iwa) 2.OiTen (Oiks dislikes him and kinda manipulates their work together, but tendou surprisingly manages to guess their moves anyway and they work surprisingly good together. Oiks refuses to work with him after a while though)

3.(OiTana/OiTora) shortly mentioned, doesn't end well bc they can't deal with his attitude 4.OiBoku (was supposed to be a matter of showing Oikawa who holds the reign in the school hierarchy, kinda, but they end up working surprisingly very well together. Oiks is annoyed and sees this as punishment, yet makes the best out of it to prevent further provocations.) 5.OiLev (the coaches wanted to see if he can get along with all problem children. He can. He does. He refuses anyone but iwa. Iwa's talk with Daichi happens.) 6.OiAsa (Oiks is the only one who can bring his potential out, besides Noya and a few others from Karasuno. Iwa sees Noya fights with dragons and IwaNoya gets serious.) 7.Oikawa finds out about IwaNoya and he's kind of pissed at Iwa. Oiks then refuses anymore dragon pairings and starts working with the nearby hatchlings 8.OiUshi (shortly, Oikawa talks with Noya) - Oiks time out - feat. Oikawa flashback of Iwaizumi's birth OiBoku (end pair) = he looks like a starry night sky (Black scales with white dots) At first in a combo with OiAsa, like, Asahi is scared of flying mostly blind at night. (at least Oiks is mostly blind) or Boku cannot fly during the day (bc he’s too easy to notice, same as Kuroo and Daichi) Iwaizumi: Needs to attend the School for Dragons to be allowed to stay in the city and vicinity. otherwise he would be thrown out. Sees Oiks as a baby that cries when he gets a scratch (on his face) and who always needs to be protected bc he cannot do anything on his own. Oiks might have been born first, but Dragons grow faster, so he sees himself as the older one. is threatened to be thrown out of school after being separated from Oiks, which would have greater disadvantages for him than pros. they still meet at night to fly together though, until their Noya disagreement. (tho their nightly adventures lessen before the argument, bc Iwa starts to take Noya serious and Oiks ... Iwa doesn’t know how to tell him)

Dragons learn in the initial classes how to use and control their fire, how to change to human form and to get used to all kinds of smells and being touched and so on. (after they learn to use their human form they attend general education classes with the younger human classes.) During the initial lasses, Iwa interacts with Suga often and during Aoba often with Kunimi, when he isn’t paired up with Oikawa which is really rare IwaKuni (Aoba), SugaIwa (kitagawa) 1.IwaAka (Shortly) 2.IwaKen or IwaShirabu 3.SemiIwa 4.IwaNoya (final combo) = Iwa feels the need to protect him, but Noya is always so full of energy and often gets hurt by fighting dragons in human forms so Iwa kinda gets used to it (actual uses a leash on him sometimes.)

AsaBokuOi:

Bo is really clingy and cuddly, always all over Oiks, bc Oikawa is his last chance on not being seen as a failure, who after being startled and surprised at first (“he wasn't that clingy when i was paired with him the first time”) doesn't mind so much after a while. (occasionally it's Oiks who surprises Bo and slings his arms around Bo's neck or waist from behind or scratches soft spots under his scales (esp when they are still 3 and Oiks returns from a long ride with Asahi, leaving Bo bored with the other riders/dragons) Bo is more than happy to have a rider who returns his cuddles/signs of affection) Bo loves flying at night, but he has problems with the day (the sun hurts his eyes, “owls also fly only at night and they are perfect hunters”, someone told him its annoying how obvious his pattern is on the daysky ...) Asahi is more hesitant and always jumps and flinches when Oiks (and Bo) surprise him or cuddle with him suddenly (cuddly AsaBoku in Dragon form when Oiks is busy and returns late. Oiks still helps out with the new hatchlings at times) he enjoys the affection though and returns them (though never in public) he loves flying during the day, but is scared of the night (his rider doesn't have his night vision afterall so it's dangerous and he's afraid he could miss out on stuff) People often look down on Oiks bc he doesn't have a real partner yet (his favourite had rejected him too) and just the 2 problem children who seem more like kindergarten children when Oiks is with them (always needy of/searching for attention and approval).

No one knew that AsaBoku could get so scary after they overheard them. even as dragons they never were actively acting scary or threatening. In that case though everyone thought they would kill the poor guys. Oikawa’s the one who accepted them/took them in when nobody wanted the, even if he was kinda forced, but he still always praises them and showers them with his affection and they really appreciate everything he does for them. (Oiks is really surprised by their actions and forgets almost to call them back before sth bad happens. he's really ... happy? relieved? afterwards though and calms the 2 dragons who are suddenly scared they overdid it and Oiks hates them now) OiBoku make a lot of 'Riding the Dragon' jokes once they started to cross the line. it starts while Asa is still with them. It wasn’t uncommon for them to kiss e.o.’s cheeks or their hair but then Boku kisses Oiks on his mouth while Asa isn't there, to both of their surprise (he doesn't do it again, but he often finds himself wishing to do so. Oiks notices and allows him to do it, but only when they are alone, and blushes as he says so) and starts to mark him with his scent stronger than before (he actually started before that unconsciously as well, since it’s an instinct thing) Asahi is confused at first, bc the smell gets stronger only over time, but he gets the signal and wants to back off, but he also doesn't want to let go of his rider. Usually they can live with it quite well, but sometimes Bo suddenly snarls when Asahi gets too touchy-feely (matter of personal definition of “too touchy-feely”) and it's getting tense and Oiks soon realises it could become dangerous when they get too riled up. He talks with Akaashi and Noya, but none of them are familiar with their current territorial behaviour, since they never were in a situation where losing their rider was an actual option. Not like this at least. Oikawa decides it might be the best to settle down, to make his final decision… to let one of them go. He can't let the chance of things escalating and them being expelled become reality. While he's gone to talk with the seniors and leaders, Iwaizumi makes AsaBoku 'talk' about it themselves(Noya told him about Oiks predicament). Together they figure out Bo's true feelings for Oiks, which aren't the same as Asahi's. Asa is allowed to ride with him, but only during the day. At night he's Bokuto’s Rider. Cuddling and other signs of affections are allowed. (But Bo always makes sure his scent is the strongest).

[There is a cliffhanger with Oiks in front of the rider building, hesitating to enter, when Takeda walks up to him. “can i help you with sth?” Oiks only stares. Chapter end.] After a while Iwa mentions it to Oiks, he's worried, and they talk about it and Oiks feelings. he tells him to do what his feelings tell him to, but he has to make his feelings clear to the others and be true to them. Iwa promises to go back to their breeder station with him and Noya when their obligatory military time is over, which was one of Oiks greatest fears and wishes. (Iwa would then work in the area of calming wild Dragons down to let someone heal them or to calm a nervous pregnant Dragon down that doesn't trust humans during pregnancy) (Akaashi has quite a few of these talks with Bo himself, but Akaashi never tells him the meaning of his feelings bc he thought Bokuto knew already. 'he always was aware he liked me when he spoke to me or talked about me like that'. the first time it happened he was shocked and perplexed. daichi would tease him about watching the baby leave the nest. akaashi tells him to shut up and actually sniffles a bit to Daichi's amusement.) they find a new routine and when the call comes that their seniors have found a new potential rider (kai) they are shocked (Oiks forgot about it), but then they are kinda relieved yet disappointed and sad. they haven't decided who it would be, so both of them ride with the new one. Bo first, who actually behaves well (Oiks made sure he would. also, Bokuto doesn’t want to be a bother for Oikawa), but as soon as kai rides with Asa it's obvious who it would be. Oiks finds himself walking to Asahi's cave (the one for trainees without connected apartment for riders) and is embarrassed when he turns around halfway there, remembering he doesn’t have to go there anymore, and meets/runs into kai. after a quick talk (kai is very understanding about it and offers to meet up in their free time) Oikawa goes to bo's cave. they weren’t together the last night bc that felt wrong and Oikawa wasn’t really concentrating anyway. “can you believe that? I actually went to his cave earlier and ran right into kai! how embarrassing.” “you don’t have to go there anymore…” “I know that myse-” “you are mine now. only mine. and I won’t let you go anymore.” Oikawa blushes (“...un...” and you are mine now. my Dragon.) and they end up cuddling the rest of the day and fly at night (they are all experienced enough to train on their own after their last exams and don’t need classes anymore, tho they are assigned to other flocks in the meantime, whose leaders keep an eye on their development while they help out the new recruits. they will only be integrated into the military preparation classes after choosing a permanent partner though and moving to the partnered caves.) (in the military classes they have to choose a 'major' after a certain introduction time. Waka wants them in his offensive team, but Oiks chooses spionage/sneak attack, bc of bo's night advantage. (when they have to advance during the day they move with Bo in human form. most people cannot think of them as dangers with their open, amiable, funny streak and Bo being so ... noticeable/conspicuous) Iwa's not pleased with that. IwaNoya are in the offensive back up team. they are more “last defense line”-ish though) As soon as Asa moved out of his trainee cave to become Kai's permanent partner(Or a few weeks after they partnered up and started training together), OiBoku send in the request to be paired officially as well. (Oiks asks Bo why he hadn't done it prior yet, while they were watching the sun going down, and Bo answers that would have been rude towards Asahi. Oikawa’s amazed Bo can show such a matureside. that night Oiks didn’t 'ride' Bo. (at least not public) a week later they move to the caves for official pairs as well the official training can get really dangerous occasionally, bc they are allowed to use any means possible during classes and they might actually get hurt. this gets really dangerous for Noya and Bo. (whenever they come back from field training, tests or a low rank mission it's common for pairs to spend like 2 days with each other to let the adrenaline run dry. noya and bo can be seen together on the 2nd day outside of their assigned caves without their partners (there was this one time where Oiks got a scratch on his cheek by a bird they didn’t see... or that other time where a 'spear' or arrow that had scratched Iwa's side... they don’t talk about it out loud, but they dont really wanna be in the others vicinity when they come to check up during the 2nd day (sometimes when they come back early they find Oiks/iwa without a tee, the others hands pressed against the skin. they know better than to get jealous or angry. though they are more clingy when the other is gone (especially boku who has to scent mark Oiks all over again) )

Obligatory Military years:

During a spy mission OiBoku travel by foot several days before their planned attack or just as a routine. (they only fly there when they arrive at night, but even then without saddle and bo has to let Oiks off before changing back (sometimes he changes back before so he can catch Oiks in his arms. he failed once. since then Oiks always gets grumpy when he does it)

they walk through a forest, not sure whether they are on the right track, when they see a campfire (it's getting dark). they join them (they are really hostile at first but calm down after seeing how dirty and tired and so not spy like they are (the readers don’t know about oibokus major then POV of the guards around the fire) ) and talk about random stuff, talk about the next city and how to get there, 'we are completely lost', 'oh we are actually from XY, but it's soooo annoying there' (enter reasons why it's stupid (waka) and annoying (iwa) ). the others actually help them out and talk about where NOT to go (they treat them like friends after saying their city is stupid) and even say some stuff about a dragon fight and so on (they are not involved in that one themselves. they are only on patrol to make sure no one tries to sneak in. 'other patrols are here and there' they show it on a map, just in case they get lost again). this goes on for a few days with similar groups (they always have either cleaned the maps of any previous marks or use new maps or 'your colleague told me XY but we just cannot seem to find the right way').

one day, after they leave an especially aggressive group they leave a comment about their true reason and leave. when the others processed it and follow them, they are gone.

they are sitting on a tree watching them and joking about them via telepathy ("maybe we should knock them out and wait for the next morning to send the 'alright' sign to the other troups?" "nah. then we might be too late to tell mattsun about the other group's advancement. also, they would just change the signs if they found their companions attacked later. this way we can tell the others about them. just in case. they cannot do anything without their 'weapons'/stuff anyway." "true!" Bo grins wide). then bo grabs Oiks in his arms and jumps, changing during it and carrying a laughing Oiks off in his claws (it’s too dark for the others to see more than a shadow, hear laughing, flapping wings and feel a strong wind that destroys their fires and spreads their stuff into the forest bushes. without a light or their stuff, they have to wait till the next morning to go back to their castle or join their friends which takes at least a day. more than enough time for oiboku to get back and inform their leaders.)

when they do normal runs to check up on the neighbouring country and the borders without finding dangerous information they sometimes actually wait till sunrise to run off or the mid of the day. (when they are out of sight bo stops in midair (hovering) and lets oikawa climb onto his back, which is a bit dangerous without a saddle, and in midair on top, but they don’t have the opportunity to prepare in the forests or towns. Oiks is already used to it and bo is really careful)

boku is thrilled about their success and makes some dangerous stunts to let out some energy (“it was sooooooo annoying to travel for days in human form and not flying once”) with Oiks safely in his grip

the other spy pairs are sugakuro and kentora, but they got different regions. (they change regions and areas often so that they wouldn’t be recognised and exchange information)

when they do get recognized (bo doesn’t remember them at all, but oiks would always) they tell a lie "we got a job there (random place they visited last time) and have to do runs at (another random city)." or when they ask how it went "horrible! we were attacked by bandits, lost all our products and money and had to search for a new job to afford our travel back! I’m sure our boss will be really angry! who knows?! maybe he'll even pretend he doesn’t know us?!" (when they are offered to be escorted or when the others know the person in question) oiks makes sure never to invent some random shop. always makes sure they are real ones and he actually knows them. ("strange. I have been talking with them last time and they didn’t mention new employees" " ... that's bc we aren’t really employees. yet. we'd hoped they would let us work there once we have proven our worth") ... bc of stuff like this it can happen that they are stuck in a town for a month or two and cannot get away until bo loses his patience and stages an accident or gets them fired. Even if Oikawa doesn’t want to stay there anymore, he waits for Bokuto to ruin things bc it’s easier for Oiks to repair Bo’s misdoings than his own. they check in with the others (iwa) regularly through dragon telepathy, but bo can only switch to dragon mode on special occasions and that strains him a lot. ("you know, you could have blown up a lot earlier. I've allowed you to do so." "buuuuut, he was sooooo nice!!!" "yeah, maybe, but now I have to endure your whining!" "buuuut tooruuuuu!!!" "shut up!!" bo slumps down. oiks groans. "fine. I'll buy sth nice once we are back and then we'll have a reeeaaaally long and exhausting ride!" bo's eyes sparkle and Tooru can feel himself getting excited as well.)

Oiks wears his rider mark right over his heart, so when they are working he never shows himself without a shirt (once he was seen and told a story about how he had wanted to become a dragon rider, but then his dragon died on a mission and now he hates all riders, especially his old city, so he never wants to join them again and live a calm life with his childhood friend bo). Bo though can be seen without a shirt often. (much to oiks dismay, but to the town's girls (and boys) happiness. oiks can never decide whether he's happy/proud or dissatisfied/jealous about it)