#or dredging up posts to clown on them

[semiweirdshipper]

Silly facts about one of my archive stories 'Reverse The Dancing Knights'.

Hello loves. I hope it's alright if I post this?

Ah, Reverse The Dancing Knights. Possibly the most cruel, angsty, complicated story I've ever written, but man do I love it. Right now it is my favorite story that I'm writing just because of all the unique twists and the sheer difficulty of it. I do believe that it's the most complex story that I've ever made, and it's just... So bizarre. And, for fun, I just wanted to share some silly facts about it.

- To begin, I wanted to share how the idea was inspired, and that was by Jason Voorhees in my story 'Battle of The Imaginary Minds'. I was in the middle of updating a chapter to that story when Jason's vulnerability hit me all of the sudden and made me question, "What if the killers were the ones who needed support instead of the reader?" And so an incredibly violent idea developed inside my head and I wrote it as fast as I could. Thanks Jason!

- Now, onto the story itself. When Bubba was new to the Entity's realm/game was when the survivors kidnapped the killers and began locking them in the Fun House.

- Some of the earlier killers have been traumatized for up to three years.

- The open relationship between the killers began before and during the Fun House. Their emotional turmoil put them at a disadvantage thus making it easier for the survivors to kidnap them.

- Herman's reason for self-mutilating himself stems much deeper than just guilt and regret.

- Frank and Jeffrey have an intimate connection. Hence the reason why Danny calls him 'Clown Bitch'.

- Danny had it the easiest out of any of the killers. Many viewers seem to enjoy Danny's characterization in that story, but I'm not entirely certain that's a good thing, but I could be messing with ya. Who knows ;) In my stories, Danny is always unpredictable, isn't he?

- Jeffrey is the most traumatized killer. (All of my favorite killers are the ones who suffered the most. I'm evil).

- One of the future moments with Caleb will be one of the most emotional moments in the entire story.

- Remember the Blind Voting? Yeah, I already made my vote a long time ago. (The perks of having multiple archive accounts).

- The random 'falling leaves' in the story are a part of major foreshadowing. Keep an eye out for that and pay close attention.

- There are so many twists to this story that it's insane. I've literally written almost over thirty pages of notes for this story because it's so complex.

- Pyramid Head, Pinhead and Caleb are the only ones who know. What do they know? You'll find out eventually.

- The reader in Knights is probably my least traumatized reader, and ultimately the physically strongest. They're also very sexually skilled, and can fight. (They have to be strong. They're the supporter).

- The ending to this story will be one of the most emotional endings that I've ever written. I can't tell you how excited I am to write it. Like, I wish I could finish this story in one night.

- Every single killer that comes after Carmina/The Artist is essential- like, unbelievably important- to the storyline.

- The harem consists of seventeen killers plus the reader.... That's a lot of drama for me to write.

- I said it once and I'll say it again: Sadako, The Dredge, Wesker, Tarhos, Adriana, and whatever new killers are brought to dbd are extremely important.

And that's all I'm gonna share for right now. My apologies for the rambling. I'm just so excited and I love the story so much. If you happen to not know what the fudge I'm talking about, it's this story right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/35205661/chapters/87724681.

Thank you for indulging my babbling. I hope you all are doing well and have a nice day.

[piracytheorist]

(clown in the mia tag again) does Mia gaslight Ethan about dulvey? i don't think so

Look, I know we like to joke about Mia being like "Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss", but that's like... a joke. There's a huge difference.

Lying is, well, lying. Gaslighting is a form of abuse where you treat someone badly - which can include lying - and when you're confronted by your victim you not only act like nothing's wrong, you blame the victim for suspecting you, tell them they're overreacting, and you call them crazy for doubting you because you're such a good person and you wouldn't do that to them.

The only time we see Mia gaslight Ethan... it's not Mia. It's Miranda where she calls him paranoid and tells him that everything's fine and why is he reacting like this. And don't come at me with a "Hurr durr it's obvious he's used to that behaviour so Mia must have been doing the same all along1!!" because that's not obvious nor based on anything. Miranda wears the same clothes Mia wears when Chris finds her, so it wasn't more than a few hours that she was impersonating her -- and Ethan still reacted to her strange behaviour. If you're willing to look past your biases and look for Author's Intent, the signs are right there.

Like, I got an anon the other day that I deleted because they really went off and I wasn't in the mood, but they told me that Mia reminded them of an abuser and I'm like... I'm sorry to tell you this but you're biased. I'm sorry you went through abuse but this makes your judgment non-impartial in this case. It's valid but we don't have to accept it's canon just because of your personal experience. When we analyze a story we cannot analyze it through our personal biases, we have to look for what the creator wanted us to think.

And for Mia, especially about Dulvey... the only hint we get of that matter is that Mia doesn't like to talk about it. That's... not gaslighting. That's just avoiding a painful subject. And it's not because Mia wants to cover her abuse, it's because it's fucking traumatic for her and it's painful to dredge up the feelings associated with it. Gaslighting would be "Why talk about it everything's fine!"... which again is what Miranda does, and Ethan reacts to that by "Seriously? We're gonna pretend nothing happened?" and that's not the behaviour of a victim who has been gaslit.

Because if anything, gaslighting aims in lowering the victim's defences and making them accept the reality the abuser presents to them. Three years post Dulvey, and Ethan still mentions it from time to time. And again, he only avoids it because he knows it's painful for Mia - and it is. Gaslighting would be Mia not being traumatized by it, but telling Ethan the opposite in order to avoid talking about it so that she won't have to tell him about her criminal history. But that's not what happened. It would be pathological for Mia to not be traumatized after three years in Dulvey. Ethan was traumatized and he was only there for barely a day! Again if you want to look for Author's Intent, the concept art for re8 shows that they initially intended for Mia to be in a wheelchair, further showing what impact the Dulvey incident had on her body. They replaced that with medication in canon, which while not a big hint, it's still there to show us Mia is not lying for her reasons to not talk about Dulvey.

We don't see a lot of her - and that's what the haters use - but compared to the beginning of re7, you can see a lot of difference already.

The first glimpse we get of Mia in re7; she's happy, light, almost bouncing from joy as she records her message to Ethan. And though she is lying, we don't see any signs of gaslighting - in fact, in the next scene, she comes clean about her lying to him, feeling sorry she did. Much Gaslighter, wow.

In comparison, the first glimpse we get of real Mia in re8. Curled in on herself, slow movements, almost quiet. Ethan tells her to talk to him about what worries her, and you see her debating telling him. A gaslighter would simply say "Nothing's wrong babe you're just overreacting :)".

So, yeah. Mia absolutely lied, and their marriage definitely needed some couples therapy. But gaslighting she did not.

[zuzu-the-clown]

For some reason, it's almost human nature to erase things that are concerning, but that we don't know much about, so we won't have to learn more and become concerned. It's the old head in the sand trick. The tendency to only think about what affects you as a person directly and not imagine the consequences of a similar policy or problem if it grew out of control.

Things can pivot. You can be hurt. If anyone can be affected, you can. But what are we supposed to do? Learn everything? Become aware and informed on all issues? Doesn't the constant barrage of terrible facts destroy one's soul a piece at a time? Dead children everywhere, war and hate and death. How can anyone stand to look at it all? How can I be expected to know the individual past of every single person that posts on the internet and weather or not they're a fascist or transphobe or racist or they were once when they were a dumb kid and they learned better and they're better now, or they were when they were a kid and now they hide it but they're really the same.

And now everyone talks in symbols because you can't just be a good or bad person. You have to hide it all. It's an identity cold war where everyone is trying to destroy everyone with propaganda and twisted facts and assumptions that may or may not have any basis in reality. It's about smearing and hurting and prodding and dredging up old photos or pain or distrust. Anything is ammo in the hands of someone who's poisoned with hate. We're told it's bad to hate people, and it's good to hate people who hate people. It's always us verses them, push and pull. Headaches from all the spinning in circles.

I don't know what I'm talking about, ever. I keep out of it all. Religion, politics, local events, crime, human rights. I'm just not smart enough. All I would end up being is a relay post. A sand bag speaking someone else's talking points. Maybe I have my head in the sand. Maybe I'm a conscientious objector. Maybe I'm not fit for this world. I was most certainly made for a much brighter one. I'm a damn clown. I'm supposed to tell jokes. What's funny about any of this? I can't play this game.

I'm never going to win.

[glethglethgleth]

using this to make a larger point

i personally think its really funny when people use language like "held accountable" when its in the context of stuff like this. because like, normally you hear that when people say something homophobic or whatever. these folks think that knowing how to use language like that somehow legitimizes whatever theyre saying, like "ah yes, you WILL face the consequences of posting a twitter screenshot and saying its funny, even if it takes 8 months for me to dredge through the tags to find it !!!"

there are some people in this world who genuinely believe you should be "held accountable" (which in this case seems like it means 'get chewed out by someone's parent') for posting something that, while not about them, or a group of people that theyre included in, hurts their feelings a little bit. these people are fundamentally unserious clowns and you should not give them as much time as i have given one of the specimens here. everything is a personal slight to them, because they stopped maturing after they got a wedgie in middle school.

nobody needs to be "held accountable", you just need to grow the fuck up lmao

this is kind of hilarious sry

[essayofthoughts]

There’s this thing I see a lot of today where people, especially larger blogs*, respond to something they don’t like not by blocking, deleting an ask, ignoring an ask, or even, if they have the spoons and patience, addressing the point of difference with understanding, but by making fun of it.

*I know tumblr doesn’t have a public follower count but you can absolutely tell which blogs are larger than others from the simple practice of asking “Does this username crop up on my dash on a regular basis from multiple sources?” It is uncannily reliable.

Some of this is just the modern, twitter-quippy style way of online media - twitter and tiktok reduce down the point of contact and allow people to make completely spurious, bad-faith arguments based on nonsense because they’re looking at a very narrow snapshot of what’s going on and forget to consider the whole of it and also that there’s a person on the other end of it.

Some of it is that some people are goddamn bullies, and like the thrill of responding, of dismissing others - especially people they can deem “haters” or “idiots” (regardless of the actual truth of that statement). There are people who want to feel superior and they gain that feeling by putting down others.

And some of it... well it comes back to that point about it often coming from larger blogs, because I’ve seen some blogs, starting out with a reasonable number of followers and then growing drastically, get worse in this specific way.

Because when you get more followers, you get an echo chamber. You see this more obviously on facebook, twitter, youtube, where the numbers are public, but it’s still true here. Blogs are followed by people who like a specific part of a blog’s output. They support that output and encourage it. When people come along and are - well, perhaps they’re haters, or perhaps they misunderstood something, or perhaps they’re legitimately ignorant because they never knew about it before - but they say something the blog doesn’t like.

The first few times, early on, before they blow up, these bloggers can -and indeed often do - respond with patience and kindness. It gets them a reputation - they’re nice, and thoughtful, and consider things, and it draws more people to them. It gives them a kind of social badge of “no, this one’s okay. this blog’s a Good Person”. Sometimes they might even wade in when replies from their followers get aggressive to try to defuse things - but you can’t do that forever, no one has the spoons, especially as their follower count rises. They might make a couple posts asking people not to be rude, they might disable replies - the good ones delete asks they can’t be bothered to deal with, block posts and people and phrases and move on with their lives - but some don’t

Instead with some blogs, at some nebulous point as their follower count rises it’s like a switch flips.

And they start being flippant. They start responding with quips or jokes. They start responding not with patience but in bad faith, with rudeness, even with insults. I’ve seen someone send a follow-up ask to one such blog clarifying their POV, their ignorance, that the jokes made were legitimately hurtful to them - and the blog and the followers just doubled down on their behaviour.

This is not helped by the followers - who usually make these kind of jokes as well, often before the blog does. It normalises it to the blogger, seeing all of these things in their activity feed, and it also means that when the blogger starts acting that way, few of their vocal followers will condemn them for it - there’s a kind of tacit support of this path. Even when challenged, once the flip is switched, few change back.

No one wants to think that perhaps they’re a bad person. No one wants to think that perhaps what they said was rude and uncalled for. That they didn’t have to respond to that ask, or that perhaps they could have explained why they made those jokes that could seem rude - especially when they get outside of their immediate circle which is ever more likely when you have a certain number of followers. They don’t want to consider that, or their effect - so they double down. It’s made worse. In many ways, it’s basically this meme:

[Image ID: The Simpsons Meme of Principle Skinner. The first panel has Skinner with his hand on his chin asking “Am I out of touch?”. In the second panel he’s straightened, staring ahead. The caption is “No, it’s the children who are wrong”.]

Except that in a terrible way, they’re not out of touch. They’re out of touch with what they originally presented - kindness, decency, being a Good Person - but they’re perfectly in touch with their vocal followers who don’t want to think about the feelings of others and the consequences of their actions, who want to joke and quip and even bully complete strangers without ever considering if they are actually doing the right thing, the good thing, the empathetic or educational thing.

And not everyone has the spoons to explain things! But when that’s the case - you can block a person. You can delete an ask. You can choose not reblog a post only to clown on it and then drag it up a week or so later to clown on it some more.

I’ve seen people like this tell others to curate their experiences, tell my friends and myself that we wouldn’t be so annoyed at things if we just curated our feeds, and often getting quite mad about what they’ve assumed about us - but the thing is, they’re not curating their experience. They’re responding to things in a way that, specifically, they have learned will get them a response and support from their followers. They’re doing it because it perpetuates the conflict algorithm that nets them followers and so increases the echo-chamber of their support - and further cements that flipped switch into place.

There are some bigger bloggers who don’t appear to have gone this path. Who do seem to think about things and consider and don’t unnecessarily reblog posts to clown on a smaller blogger, or respond an ask only to be mean and nasty rather than just deleting the ask and moving on with their life. But it’s few. It’s concerningly few.

I find it kind of depressing. There are blogs I legitimately enjoyed before I saw them go this path. There are blogs I’ve witnessed steamroll people, or deliberately bring back a post that had moved out of common circulation specifically to clown on the (reliably a smaller blog) OP.

It’s mean spirited. It’s unnecessary. It’s the kind of behaviour that when it’s twitter dogpiling I see some swaths of tumblr look down on as though somehow we’re better.

And yet, for some reason, when it happens on here, it’s suddenly okay.

I fucking hate it.

[stxleslyds]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.

[feywildfox]

Honestly i was all for respawn firing dan klein over the shit he said....until i found out it was 14 years ago. That is MORE than enough time for growth and change. This is the EXACT sort of shit that makes cancel culture so fucking dangerous and horrendous. This stuff was almost a decade and a half ago. Either dredge up shit thats recent or actually look into the fact to see if the person you are trying to harass and fire has given up what they were and worked to be a better person. Not to mention the stress caused his wife to miscarry...like? Man, I'm not defending the shit he said, i read it, it was fucking awful. But it was also 2007. Two thousand fucking seven. Lets actually give people a chance.

Like... a brief search and it shows me he was fired from Riot Games in 2018 because he SPOKE UP FOR WOMEN AND NONBINARY PEOPLE. x

Like holy shit that shows improvement there and then. I think that it's fucking disgusting how people constantly drag things up from the past after people have already improved and made themselves better. Y'all crusaders out there need to fucking chill and let people actually grow.

And I also understand a lot of this is BECAUSE this man SPECIFICALLY improved himself so much, that he did his best to become an ally and stand up for marginalized people at his job and against the neckbeards in the apex/respawn community. That these assholes, who probably honestly AGREE with the shit he had said, still understood it would make people SO upset they would demand he be fired. It's fucking d a n g e r o u s.

I'm also not saying YOU have to be the one holding someones hand and leading them to a better outlook, but holy cat shit in a pan you need to not harass people for things said in the past IF they have become a better person. Ask them, sure. Discuss why the did it? Okay cool! Want to know if they regret it? Totally fine. Everything else that constitutes literal harassment and causing not only someone to lose a job, but their partner so much fucking stress that she miscarries? I shouldn't have to say why that's wrong!

Anyways until proven otherwise, I'm over here supporting Daniel Klein and hoping he and his wife make it through this difficult time in one piece. I also sincerely hope he finds a good job that fits his skills and he and his family flourish and grow.

Clowns stay off my post

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Just saw Animorphs is getting a movie. Any thoughts?

I never keep track of media news, so asks like this are the only way I learn anything about movies.  I went out and did some research and...

Listen.

I’m going to try to go into this with an open mind.  I’ll read all the reviews and Internet comments when it comes out, and I might even go see the thing in theaters, if theaters are a thing again by then.  I work hard not to be completely consumed by my pessimistic nature about stuff like this.  I’ve been wrong about movie adaptations before--maybe I’ll love it and watch it a hundred and fifty times and finally revel in the Animorphs Renaissance I (and they!) deserve.

However.  First problem I foresee, the last two things that were made by Scholastic were Goosebumps and Clifford the Big Red Dog.  I am not optimistic about what that portends for a book series best known for gore, body horror, war crimes, moral ambiguity, and the grim realities of how there is no such thing as a just war.  Offhand, I can’t think of a way to make a G or PG live action Animorphs movie that is...good.  Maybe if you bump it to PG13, we could talk (admittedly, the guy in charge of Picturestart has been involved with a lot of blockbuster YA movie adaptations, all of them with serious problems in my opinion but not always, like, ruinous problems, eg: Hunger Games, Divergent) but even then, they’ll probably end up cutting back on a lot.  Okay, I’ll live if they cut the body horror (I’ll complain, but I’ll live) but it is a series about war.  There’s only so much you can cut to get under a rating and preserve the actual point of the story.  This is the short version of my long ramble about how an animated Animorphs series would be better and more functional in basically every way.  Which brings me to...

Second problem I foresee, how much are these fools planning to adapt????  On the one hand, I think you could very competently turn The Invasion into a full length movie without, A, a huge amount of dull filler breaking your pacing into tiny pieces, or, B, losing any important plot or character beats.  On the other hand, I absolutely do not trust movie studios and I’m concerned that their desire to have Ax for the Alien Value will make them over-ambitious and try to do multiple books.  Don’t do multiple books.  The Invasion is plenty of plot for a movie.  If you desperately desperately want to shoehorn Ax in there (I don’t think you should do this!!!!  Scholastic, are you looking at my post?  Are you there, Eric Feig?  It’s me, Starlight.  Don’t do that!  And if you HAVE to do that, call me to check your plans!), you can just pop him on Elfangor’s ship and have an emotional beat about Elfangor’s death, or else have Elfangor give the kids an exact location and make it their first Morphing Caper to go get an alien.  Don’t do multiple books.  One book.  If this movie covers more than one book, I am going to be Very Upset, and I will without a doubt have reason to be Very Upset, because it will be a mess.

As some just...general concerns: 

I’m concerned that they’re going to make everyone a one-note character.  Specifically, I’m concerned that this is going to be a movie starring Protagonist Boy, also featuring Clown Boy, Nice Girl, Mean Girl, Alien, and Cautionary Tale.  

I’m concerned that they’re going to strip back the moral ambiguity to the wire, which is to say “everyone but Tom is A Bad Guy, no complications needed.”  I know everyone gets a lot of jokes in about the Oatmeal Book, but that book and others like it make the requisite legitimate points about the issues with fighting Controllers.  Those are real people!  Make sure you mention it!

The Yeerk Pool scene at the end of Invasion is an outstandingly good moment to underline that.  Hell, you can dredge up the later Yeerk Pool scene of the temporarily free Hork Bajir and humans forming a wall of bodies to buy the kids time to run, shove that in there (because we’re not going to do multiple books, right Scholastic????).  Foreshadow the absolute shit out of it with Tom and the other Controllers (hell, if you gotta, have Jake discover why Chapman is voluntary when he scopes out his office), and then come out swinging with the free hosts protecting the kids with their own bodies, and you’ll be able to minimize the “gore” rating while preserving the “body snatcher horror” aspect.

I’m concerned they’re going to overplay the humor.  These books work because they understand how to balance humorous scenes with serious scenes, and how to employ dark humor during dark scenes, and when there shouldn’t be any fucking jokes.  If I hear one joke during Elfangor’s death scene, I’m suing.

Basically, I’m concerned about these books getting the Percy Jackson treatment (or, apparently, the Artemis Fowl treatment), by which I mean that I’m worried they’re going to make an objectively terrible movie, which will be righteously hated by the fans and critics alike, and then they’ll go “okay, these books are poison, we will never adapt them into anything again.”  Which would be tragic on a lot of levels, most of all that it will mean I never get the animated Animorphs series we all deserve, ideally featuring one episode per book (except the Invasion, which obviously deserves a double-length pilot) and directed by, I dunno, Noelle Stevenson or someone else who will give us the bisexual Marco and gender-confused Ax and deeply traumatized Tobias I crave.  I would trust the She-Ra team implicitly with the Animorphs.  Not so much the companies that gave us The Maze Runner and fucking Clifford.

[sam-gibbs]

Animated

Now we are moving onto our animated starting point. Here I will be able to go ahead and look at things such as animated films,tv shows,companies and games.

Cuphead:

Cuphead is a game which was made in 2017. The game is an animated run and gun styled game.As you can see the game was inspired by the old styled animation used in the 1930′s, this includes the works of people such as Fleischer Studios and Walt Disney. The visuals and audio of the game were made the same painstakingly way they did in the 1930′s era. By using traditional hand drawn cell animation as well as watercolour backgrounds and original jazz recordings.

Informations taken from:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/268910/Cuphead/

When it comes to Cuphead it must of taken ages to develop and put together the game as everything is drawn and animated through drawings meaning it would of taken a lot more time to animate than it would to animate 3d models. Here is a video I have found which talks about the creators of the game making the game:

In the video it not until you get about 5 minutes in until they are talking about the actual development of the game. For starters they planned for the game to only be a small game.However after all the feedback they got at events such as E3 in 2015 they then went forwards and decided to take the game further and get more serious with it.Secondly they then start to talk about how they had originally joked at the beginning of making the game about doing the 1930′s style. This was mainly due to one of the creators being the only animator they had at the time. However they went forward and decided to try something else as they felt that they could not efficiently pull of the 1930′s style animation. They talk about how they had thought of having the game art being like going through elementary school, Meaning each level would be arts and crafts.For example a kindergarten level would have a turkey that was made like a painted hand print as well as having cotton balls attached to it. Then they planned about doing stop frame animation with them. However they eventually decided to go back to the 1930′s style animation. WHen it came to animations they talk about how most stuff was done classically so it was all hand drawn on paper instead of digitally drawn as well as the backgrounds being watercolor painted.Even the music is live recorded and wasn't digitally made.They talk about once the character is drawn and animated they would then scan it into the computer which is where they would then go ahead and add the colours to the characters.

Fleischer Studios:

Fleischer Studios are famous for there creation of popular characters such as Koko the clown,Betty boop and Popeye the Sailor. Unlike other studios which mainly focused on making there characters anthropomorphic animals, Fleischer studios most famous characters were actually humans. Compared to their competitor company Walt disney, Fleischer studios went for a different cartoon style. Unlike Walt Disney, there animations were more rough than defined as well as more artistic than commercial.However in a unique way there art was expressed through a culmination of arts and sciences. There approach focused more on surrealism, dark humor, adult psychological elements and sexuality. Another thing was that the environments were grittier and more urban compared to Walt Disney. They would often be set in squalid surroundings to reflect the great depression as well as the German Expressionism.

Why do they wear gloves:

One big question that came to surface is why do the cartoon characters in the Fleischer and Disney animations wear gloves.Here is a video where they ask an animation historian this same question and here are the reasons he gives for the characters wearing gloves.

One of the most basic theories as to why the characters wear gloves is in order to save time. Drawing detailed intricate hands aren't very easy and take up a lot more time. By having the characters where basic gloves which are a basic shape saves a lot of time when it comes to drawing and animating the characters.As animations went on they tried to make characters with more basic a circular shapes in order to make them easier to draw as well as more child friendly. This was called the Rubber hose and circle design where characters main features such as there head,stomach and palms of there hands would be circles.The all other parts such as arms,fingers and legs would be more of a rubber hose design which made them more spaghetti looking.Here is an example of this process:

The rubber hose and circle process made it so animators could draw arms,legs and heads without having to spend loads of time on them.Here come the piece where the gloves came into play. Now its a good idea to use the rubber hose and circle method however characters hand were black as well as the rest of their body. This meant it was very hard to distinguish where there hands were and what they were doing.It was only until 1929 for the white gloves to come into play on characters.

One other reason given for the gloves was actually written inside of Walt Disney's 1968 biography “The Disney Version” when he talks about mickey mouse having the gloves , it says:

“We didn't want him to have mouse hands,because he was supposed to be more human like.So we gave him gloves”

Unfortunately there is one more reason about why they wear gloves which isn't as nice.The film the Opry House is where Mickey mouse put on a vaudeville show.This film as well a many of the other animations that came before it were closely linked to vaudeville performances and the blackface minstrel shows of the time. A man called Nicholas Sammonds writes in “Birth of an Industry” that many early animated characters such as felix the cat, Bimbo and mickey mouse “weren't just like minstrels, they were minstrels”. Which by the way the definition of a minstrel is someone who has dressed up in black face for a performance on a show for example the Minstrel show. Characters in the Minstrel show would wear white gloves as well. However even as the Minstrel show started to disappear the gloves on the cartoon characters stayed due to it being part of there animation design.

Cuphead and the Racist Spectre of Fleischer animation:

While doing my research I managed to go ahead and find an online article which I decided to go ahead and look into:

https://unwinnable.com/2017/11/10/cuphead-and-the-racist-spectre-of-fleischer-animation/

In the article it talks about how the creators of cuphead also dredge up the bigotry and prejudice which had a strong influence on early animation.When asked in an interview about how cuphead had an unfortunate associations with the 1930′s era.

 Maja Moldenhauer replies:”Its just visuals and that's about it. Anything else happening in that era we are not versed in it”

It talks about how Studio MDHR goes and ignores the context and history behind the aesthetic in which they tried so hard to recreate.I also think that people aren't happy that they sort of idolise this sort of animation style due to its racist context and history behind it and feel like the studios should of took into consideration the history behind it before choosing it as there art style. They then talk about how in many early cartoons, characters were often tricksters,layabouts and thieves. These archetypes were born from the depiction of the lazy slave minstrel shows specialised in. This is brought up due to the fact that at the start of the cuphead game you meet 2 tricksters (cuphead and mugman) who make a deal with the devil ( another trickster) over a gambling debt, an activity often linked in the 1930s cartoons to implied sinfulness and savagery.

Studio Ghibli:

Now we are moving onto studio ghibli which is an animation company for anime films such as spirited away, Howl's moving castle and my neighbour totoro.Studio ghibli is a japanese animation company which was founded in 1985. Like Fleischer studios Studio Ghibli's animation techniques are all very traditional. All there frames are hand drawn before being put together to create movement.Even Though CGI is very popular now the creator Miyazaki prefers to stay away from this and believes that hand drawing is the fundamental of animation. However he doesn't sometimes make small exceptions and allows small bits of CGI in his art in order to help animations with tricky scenes and to speed up the process.

The process:

Everything Begins With an Idea

From script to screen, the idea is developed into a story.

Then, characters and costumes are designed and created. In doing so, also creates the atmosphere and settings the film is

The story is then turned into a storyboard and is used to illustrate the key frames to produce movements.

After the scenes are drawn out, color is added and painted. Note: the backgrounds and characters are drawn separately.

The characters are placed onto the background, which creates a frame. Each frame is shot individually.

Dialogue & audio is added and then the director ensures that everything syncs together naturally.

After the film is developed, it is ready to debut!

All this information was taken from:

https://commons.marymount.edu/leetopic/creation-process/

Animation types:

Now of course when it comes to animation inside of tv, film and video games there are multiple different types of animation people can choose from. The different types are cel animation,2D animation,3D animation and Stop animation.

Cel animation:

Cel animations is the animation style we have already talked about in this post. Cel animations is when you animate on sheets of transparent plastic called cels.The cels are then placed over a background and photographed in sequence. When the photos are played back at either 12 or 24 frames they create the illusion of movement.When it comes to making a drawing on a cel. The inker will transfer a drawing done on paper onto a cel using black ink. Once dried the colourist will the use cel paint onto the artwork. All informations was gotten from:

https://conceptartempire.com/cel-animation/

2D animation:

2d animation is basically the same as cel animation. However it expands more out into the world of digital art where artists and colourists can do all there work on a computer instead of having to do it on cel sheets.

3D animation:

Now unlike 2d animation 3d animation is far more advanced. Instead of drawing out there models. 3d animation is the art of using motion to bring characters as well as vehicles to life inside tv shows,films and video games. 3d animations uses 3d models instead of 2d drawings. When it comes to animating the models you can either rig the model and do it that way or in some cases map them to a person's body and have them act out the motions they wish the character to do.Here is a nice video I found which shows how the process of it somewhat works when it comes to putting scenes together:

Stop Animation:

Stop motion animation has been around for a very long time and has been used in films such as Coraline,Wallace and gromit and Missing link. The process of stop animation is where they have real life 3d models of their characters, props and vehicles. These models are made out of clay. However although fun to make stop motion is a time staking process. To do stop motion animation the models are moved in small increments frame by frame. Every time the model is moved a picture is taken. Then the film is put together when it goes through the flames at a fast speed in order to make it look like it is moving.Here is a video which talks about how they did the stop motion animation in a film called the missing link.

The video talks us through the process of how they use rigs for scenes where characters are in the air as well as how for some scenes such as underwater scenes they do need to go ahead and use CGI for those parts of the film. It is not only till you see the sets until you realise how much space is needed to create some of these scenes as well and how much time and effort goes into making some characters in the films.

Bugsnax:

Bugsnax is an animated video games which due to the animation style looks like it is targeted towards kids.With a pegi 7 rating you would be surprised to know what the contents of the game really contain.Here is a video which talks about eh lore that someone has theorized about the game.

After watching the video all I can say is that I am quite surprised at what some of the hidden context of the game can be. I believe there are hidden messages about drugs in the game and about how addicted someone can be, as well as the fact that it changes a person's body just like how drugs can affect people.

However there is one thing that I think was creative and its the fact that this game really goes off of the phrase we are what we eat.

In summary what I have learnt through my research is that there are of course many different ways to animate in which people can choose from, however each type of animation does come with its pros and cons so depending on how long you have to create a project as well as what sort of scenes you are wanting will affect what sort of animation style will be best to use. other things I have learnt is that animation can have some disturbing history and backstory to them and sometimes aren't always what they seem.

[bostonchungschwa]

I've never seen anyone accuse Meg of abusing Penny? I'm not accusing you of making it up I'm more curious on when and what those were if you're not uncomfortable about dredging it up.

oh it was years ago, right around the same time as the whole “meg is totally abusing gavin and im totally not just saying this so i can call her a bitch without people thinking im a misogynist” drama

eta: i found the post and while the overall tone is jokey since everyone was clowning on them, op was completely serious

[reddieao3feed]

Should Have Missed You Then

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2BexWCe

by miroend

"Listen, my life in New York is far from perfect, I'm aware of it," Eddie starts, and Richie looks down to where Eddie's hand is resting on the sheets before he can stop himself, to the dull gleam of his wedding band, "but I'm doing fine there, I'm doing okay, it's a life. What this is— this is regurgitating stuff I got over long ago, things I've moved past. There is no use in dredging any of that up. I don't need this shit messing me up in the head."

And Richie gets it, because he's been back home for less than 24 hours and it’s already been like going through a marathon of a midlife crisis. But he's back, lying here in Derry, with his first and oldest and bestest friend in the world, both of them half paralyzed with fear, trying to bite back the urge to grasp for him across the sheets. Good and bad, old and new.

The one advantage of the clown, Richie thinks, is that at least there's a concrete way to deal with it.

—

Richie Tozier gets his heart broken, and then some.

Words: 14212, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier

Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

Additional Tags: Internalized Homophobia, Angst, Eddie Lives, Post-Canon, Coming Out

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2BexWCe

[ts1989fanatic]

'YOU RUINED MY LIFE': Groper DJ to Taylor Swift one year after trial

BY AMERICAN MEDIA INC.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: JUL 11, 2018

Nearly one year after he was found guilty of assault and battery for grabbing Taylor Swift’s bare butt, David Mueller exclusively told RadarOnline.com that the singer ruined his life.

On Tuesday, the radio host vehemently denied to Radar Swift’s claims that he latched on to her “bare a– cheek” in 2013 at a meet and greet in Denver, Colorado. Mueller also shared what he would say to the “Delicate” singer if given the chance

How can you live with yourself? You ruined my life,” Mueller said. “I was not ready for the photograph. I admit it was awkward but I never grabbed her. It’s not even close to what happened.”

The five-day trial between Swift and Mueller garnered national attention in August 2017. As a result, the disgraced DJ compared his post-trial life to being locked up behind bars.

“Now I’m afraid to even talk to women. I feel like I’m in a prison,” Mueller continued. “I’m not myself anymore. I don’t even go near women.”

In January 2018, Mueller landed a new radio gig in Mississippi. He said he still receives jokes about the highly-publicized trial, which he believes is undeserved.

“It make me upset. I was always the gentleman. I would always say, ‘Hey, watch your language, there’s a lady here,’ and then I get accused of this,” Mueller told Radar.

The disgraced DJ said that he knew he was going to lose in court but does not regret suing Joe Alwyn’s girlfriend in the first place.

“I know that if I didn’t do it I would have never been able to live with myself,” the radio host added. “At least now that my life is totally screwed up I’m proud of myself.”

In May, Swift kicked off her Reputation Stadium World Tour. Mueller said that while his career has significantly suffered, he doesn’t wish Swift harm.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to her, I really don’t,” he said.

Mueller insisted that he’s “just a regular guy.” Continuing his career in radio is the one thing that still makes him happy, he said.

“I don’t have a lot of listeners but if I can keep doing radio then I’ll consider myself a lucky guy,” he said.

ts1989fanatic pardon me while I rant:

First of all look at the source for this crap, Radar Online has always hated on and made up shit about @taylorswift why should this be any different. A year on and they are still dredging up this piece of human garbage.

As for David Mueller “well fuck him” you lost you sick fuck crawl under a rock and die. If anyone ruined his life it was himself and his wandering grab hands not Taylor Alison Swift.

Oh and by the way Radar Online she’s Taylor “fucking” Swift not Joe Alwyn’s “girlfriend”.

As for Mueller claiming his life post trial is like being behind bars, no you pathetic piece of crap not even close “a lot of the world and this swiftie fandom wish you were locked up”

As for being afraid to to talk to women, personally I don’t think you should be allowed in the same room as women to even get an opportunity to talk to them.

And finally as for David Mueller’s career suffering

“well my heart bleeds for the creep NOT”

Like Taylor didn’t suffer because of this with the media making her the literal butt of jokes in their pieces of crap articles over the years.

At least this clown Mueller still has a career, given my choice I would prefer to see him directing traffic on the moon without a pressure suit.

Okay rant over sorry for it being so lengthy but DAMN I feel better.

[essayofthoughts]

I’d like to make a calm post, just on the off chance that some people following a certain party are lurk-stalking this blog due to recent events. 

Hi! I used to be one of you. I was a lurker for years before I wrote my first ficlet, and largely still lurk in many fandoms for various reasons - my fandom output does not reflect my fandom engagement. 

Now, as a lurker you see things. You see the things your favourite blogs get up to. You see metas. You see analyses - and sometimes, you put them all together.

There may be some people lurk-stalking myself or cosmonauthill - or even tobermoriansass - not because they want to follow us or because they agree with us, but because - after recent events - they want to see our #bad-opinions and to see us being #wrong. 

(Fandom rubbernecking - it has a long history.)

If you are one such - may I ask you what you get out of doing this? 

Our opinions are not anathema to fandom. We like thematic analysis of canon materials, things which engage with the canon as opposed to a flanderised, simplified, or quippified version of it. Sometimes we might want crack or fluff and seek those out. But what we want at other times is a style of fic that there isn’t exactly a clear tag to search for - and the modern quippy style doesn’t exactly have a common tag to blacklist either. 

So I ask - what is gained by lurk-stalking us? And, furthermore - what is gained by the other party in this dredging up a weeks-old post - by their own admission - to attempt clown on it? What is gained by painting us as purely wrong, as people who cannot think out solutions of our own? What is gained by the claim that because I have few fics tagged meta on AO3 I must be lying about writing them - when my own About page lists a tag you can use to find my metas on this blog?

What is gained by this cherry-picking of information? What is gained by clowning on another and refusing to give a fair hearing? What is gained by letting people think they’re right and refusing to address the points of others?

Ask yourselves these questions, lurkers. Ask why.

I’ll see you around.

[adapted-batteries]

Season 3 Things

Alrighty...I’ve finished up season 3 today, and well I got some things for sure. I think I spent a lot of time focusing on Ezekiel, since I really wanted to see the evidence of the ptsd we’ve headcannoned he has. Some eps it’s not really apparent, but then there’s those specific moments that I’m like “oh man yup.” As my season 1 and season 2 posts, this will be under a keep reading. Also, if you haven’t seen season 3 for some reason, this definitely contains spoilers.

“And the Rise of Chaos”

I really need to remember to use “broaden your horizons” when people annoy me...most of the time I don’t really voice what I’m thinking though so that’s an issue there. Still a great line.

When the manikins came to life I wrote “It’s night of the museum gone horribly wrong.” I also know that either Dean Devlin or John Kim said it was a throwback to the autons from the first ep of the new series of Doctor Who.

“Your mothers did not hug you enough did they?” Well yeah Jenkins, they all had pretty shitty childhoods one way or another so you need to be nice to them. Be the grandpa they always wanted.

Also if Ezekiel’s been using artifacts to do stuff, how skilled is he in magic? Obviously Cassandra’s got the most out of the LiTs, but apparently he’s taught himself stuff.

Honestly seeing the LiTs get excited about stuff is the best...like I don’t know how Baird told them no about the sub, they were too adorable for me.

When Jenkins said magic was something they shouldn’t use, Flynn didn’t outright agree with him. He implied that was his stance...but we all know he’s been using the diffusing spell every time he introduces himself as a Librarian. Also that marshmallow roasting...love it when the kids have fun with dad.

Eve stopped the boys from rambling on about smuggling in early 19th century America...but like honestly I wanted to hear more...I always loved the National Treasure movies as a kid...I think by way of movies I was prepared as a kid to like the Librarians...I mean Indiana Jones, National Treasure, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Treasure Planet, I’m sure there’s more.

Also when Ezekiel said he needed imaging equipment to see the mechanism...doesn’t the Library have an x-ray machine, or access to one? I mean where do those x-rays in Jenkins’s lab come from?

When Apep turns them against each other...Stone causally throttles Ezekiel...before I was thinking he pushed him against the wall again but I think Ezekiel circles them because they’re in reversed positions when Eve pulls them out.

The singing bit...the singing...I need me the Bibliotechnos...though later Ezekiel’s listing the magical instruments they have and says Pan’s flute...apparently he doesn’t remember that’s what knocked him and the others out in season 2.

When Flynn says “who protects this world?” to Apep, the music is very much like the music in the 11th Doctor’s run, so the appropriate response is The Doctor at this point.

Final bit...Flynn’s wearing a robe and pj’s in the last scene, and it’s late...so unless Flynn is one make commutes in that outfit, which he doesn’t strike me as that person, then he lives in the Library now...which is kind of odd since in the movies, he had an apartment.

“And the Fangs of Death”

Honestly Charlene’s gotta pretty good idea of vacation...certainly wouldn’t mind that...well not the whole Apep abducting bit but still. Also how long as she been doing this? She said she needed to clear her head after losing Judson...but she wasn’t in season 2 either...so was she off gallivanting for over a year? I guess that’s hours to her being an immortal, but still...long time to not do the Library’s accounting.

Ezekiel’s endearing look at his pizza when Flynn says we store emotional energy “in the objects we hold dear.” Also kind of surprised Jenkins was so easy to fool...I feel he’d be better than that.

When they first get in the facility, Ezekiel looked really uneasy...granted the facility looked wrecked like Darpa did, which was no doubt dredging up memories. And then later when Flynn’s yelling at him to get the video back, his voice is very tense and stressed, and he clenches his jaw before running after Flynn to keep him safe. When he got bit, obviously it hurt, but he was yelling a lot, and I don’t think that yelling was specifically pain, I think it was a bit of fear as well.

After that he’s closed off, doesn’t make a big deal about it...which doesn’t make sense if he yelled that much from pain. It does make sense though if he was starting to go back into combat mode...and why he’d think of sacrificing himself to get to the steam valve. Flynn did not have to sniff Ezekiel to prove his point though...like unless he’s got an unusually sensitive nose...there was no reason to do that except for effect.

Jenkins, after barely missing the river, mentions he jumped off the Hindenburg. Somewhere, probably on Ao3, I read a fic that was about that...it was good, if I remembered it more I’d link it.

That Flyzekiel moment before Ezekiel goes into the corridor, Flynn realized just how much he both cared for and admired Ezekiel...I mean doing that on a good hunch, he was risking his life, and Flynn apparently didn’t think Ezekiel was capable of that until then.

Aaand then Ezekiel woofs at Anubis...classic Ezekiel. Though as the virus is really taking hold, I imagine Ezekiel’s really freaking out, losing control, turning into something that either he could hurt is friends, or his friends would have to hurt him. I did notice though, though it may have been to low lighting, that once Anubis got sucked back into wherever he came from, Ezekiel looked less werewolfy...so did the lycanthropy get sucked in too a bit? I mean obviously Ezekiel’s drinking wolfsbane tea afterwards so there was still some there, but he looked a lot better when Jenkins was supporting him.

When Stone through the ball, Ezekiel whined, like a dog...and somehow I didn’t hear that before. Also Stone enjoyed that so much that he tripped on the ladder when he came back in the main area. And Ezekiel never came back in shot...I like to imagine he was busy chewing on the ball...not getting the game of fetch like my dog doesn’t.

“And the Reunion of Evil”

Cassandra says she and Stone are a well-oiled machine...what a contrast to season 1 dynamics.

If Nessie had to go deal with developers, does that mean she can come and go as she pleases?

Every time I watch the scene where Cassandra rants to Meredith about Stone, it feels so satisfying, and then descends into amusement as Meredith starts hitting on Cassandra.

This watch I realized why everyone “ooohs” when Stone says his favorite natural disaster is global warming...they’re all frost giants. Surprised I didn’t get that at first.

Also apparently drunk Stone can only talk about history...figures. Though he sobered up really quick when Cassandra pulled him in that closet.

Eve’s look when she learns Ezekiel’s been tracking the weather...she knows he cares. Also the amount he was sticking on it, even when he was caring for the egg, shows where his focus was the whole time.

When Cassandra and Stone start fighting they both apparently have the poppy neck veins when they get angry. Also I don’t know first hand what a bar during Bedlam is like...but I also know that I’d avoid a bar during Bedlam so I guess that explains itself.

I love the evolution of Ezekiel’s egg carrying, especially the baby strap thing.

When they’re back in the Library Cassandra points out the whole saying “we’re the Librarians” gets them in places...Cassandra realized it was the spell...but later on in “And the Curse of Cindy,” Stone asks Flynn like he doesn’t know...guess he forgot?

I’ve never figured out why it’s such a big egg for such a little creature...that’s not how eggs work...needless to say mom Ezekiel is the best, especially him getting emotional at seeing it for the first time in the tank.

“And the Self-Fufilling Prophecy”

They really enjoyed having wet Ezekiel and Stone this season...especially Stone since he got drenched again in “And the Fatal Separation.”

Gotta love the kids wanting to make sure mom’s okay.

My only comment when the Reaper shows up is “Oh hey, edgy Assassin’s Creed.”

“Coincidence is dating two girls at the same time and finding out they’re sisters” stone boy what’d you get up to in Oklahoma? I remember seeing a post on tumblr pointing out that it was either Stone being stupid or stone attempting to live up to his “jock who gets the chicks” expectations and I lean quite towards the latter.

I know the goggles are on the right way around but I always thought Stone and Ezekiel put them on the wrong way because the plastic bit that goes over the bridge of the nose is really low down. Also Ezekiel’s kissing the coin...and Stone’s “wow.”

“Makes me want to go ‘hmm’” you’re a dork Jenkins.

Technically the prophecy never showed them hurting each other…it just showed them running at each other.

Wait so how did eve know she was the oracle? Eve didn’t know her prophecy...and nothing else made specific sense for her to be the Oracle.

Why does Stone tense his whole body when he says “mate” to Ezekiel?

Jenkins wants to go see Carrot Top...but Ezekiel seems not to want that at all...wonder why.

“And the Tears of a Clown”

Ezekiel got Jenkins a lock picking set for Christmas...that’s so sweet.

I really like the glowy affect the carnival has at first, makes it feel more surreal.

Well...snake charmer Ezekiel...that is quite an enjoyable sight. Also that mustache on Stone, and the wiggle he does...can’t handle that with a straight face.

“There’s nothing that would stop me from coming after you” Jenkins caring is the best

According to the Amazon video trivia, the scepter of Korab is a reference to Star Trek: TOS, specifically the Korab in 2x17 who had a scepter that allowed him to change matter and control people.

Why does Stone feel the need to whack Ezekiel when he gets the idea that it’s the magic wand? Like so much action going on there considering he beat on the table too.

The last time Christian was doing a slow mo cool crew scene at a carnival was in Leverage...the outfit is a lot more hilarious this time. Also, Ezekiel and Stone, causally hiding in small spaces, was a thing this season as well, since they did it again later in “And the Eternal Question” in the bunker/lab thing.

Cassandra didn’t realize Kirby had the hots for Charlotte...and seems to not realize it when it’s happening to her, or does and is super smooth...honestly really makes for an autistic headcannon for her, and honestly I’m on the train that everyone is on the spectrum.

Cassandra’s face when Kirby makes the two guys punch each other is great, so disapproving, and the make up makes it even better. Also after Kirby gets them, when they get to the molten wax vat, they’re in their normal clothes...but unless Kirby let them change, doesn’t make sense. Weird continuity thing.

Stone saying “don’t be wrong” to Kirby is me @ people who say wrong stuff.

“And the Trial of the Triangle”

Love how they had to ninja up and hand cuff Flynn to get him to sit still. That whole scene is pretty interesting, because we get to see both character growth from the LiTs, and character regression with Flynn’s running around. And it’s the little things in the background that show how much the LiTs they bonded...Stone’s elbow bump for encouragement when Ezekiel walks back to the stairs, Ezekiel’s hand pat for Cassandra, and Ezekiel’s and Cassandra’s approving nods at Stone.

Stone having fun figuring out the disappearance pattern is always fun to watch.

The kids don’t like mom and dad arguing...except Ezekiel...he’s literally in awe until Stone smacks him to get going through security.

“I love you more than learning itself” well that’s how we know it’s real. Flynn went around running because he super cares about how Eve looks at him, and yeah she was annoyed with him for sure in season 2, and he really failed at communicating at how that bothered him.

The whole plane lavatory scene...Noah’s acting in this always gets me. You can see when Flynn realizes he’s been away from Eve too long and thus isn’t being the Librarian she knows he can be. He needs her to keep him in check just like the LiTs need her to keep them from arguing all the time.

Also you’d think after the whole Santa affair someone would have learned to fly a plane.

“The whole hillside is not covered in spice” actually flynn says “a veces a la dora de beda no está cubierta de azúcar” which means “Sometimes the donut is not covered with sugar”....so how did they get the line the whole hillside is not covered in spice from what he said???? Azucar hasn’t changed meaning that I know of so it never meant “spice.”

When Flynn used the mirror to see Tibbar backwards...the R and B’s weren’t backwards.

I just noticed Flynn answers the caring friend line and says he’s “terrified of being hurt” then Stone relieves himself as the knight...coincidentally it’s a problem they both had, but Stone’s gotten over that fear since he joined the library, though it took time.

My final comment was “ Heh only took a trip to the Bermuda Triangle to get Flynn to quit being an idiot.”

“And the Curse of Cindy”

Ok the way they show Cindy in the glowing white light and outline always made me think there was some deity doing this or like a low key alien vibe. Also I’m glad Ezekiel’s on the internet because they would have no information on Cindy if it wasn’t for him.

Flynn looked really haggard in the confessional booth, like he’s not had sleep. Apparently he’s still been doing whatever, or not sleeping well, after Eve pointed it out in the intervention.

“He’s always been wily” I love that pun.

“Stay strong,” Stone says...then immediately gets affected by the potion.

Ezekiel’s torn between being super confused and wanting to punch Stone to shut him up. Also Stone saying the bridge the Annex is under is beautiful is hilarious...even drugged he loves architecture.

Ezekiel responds to the question of his immunity with “She’s...not my type.” What does this mean????? The hesitation...that really leans into the “Ezekiel’s not straight” lane.

Also Eve went into Cindy’s room...but didn’t get affected. Theory time.

Jenkins seems serious about Ezekiel being so self-obsessed it negated the potion. Some thought that Ezekiel was immune because he was in love with Stone (thus why he acted weird when Stone confronted him at the end of the ep), but it would make sense because Ezekiel was already obsessed with protecting his family (thanks to ptsd).

Also I don’t agree with Stone’s statement that he and Flynn have egos comparable to Ezekiel’s...especially when Flynn’s got knocked down several pegs in the previous episode, and Stone was never focused on himself completely like Ezekiel had been. However I don’t think it was Ezekiel’s ego either, since I’m on the train that his behavior in season 3 shows he’s really caring for everyone’s safety to the point he risked his life at the super collider, so if Ezekiel being obsessed with something else was the key, it was protecting them. Theory time done for now.

Jenkins totally didn’t question his immunity, but he stuck the stink on him anyway because he could.

Cassandra touched under her nose when she calculated the trajectory of the missile, like she was having a nose bleed...she hasn’t done that all season, this is lead up to her surgery next ep.

I’d love to know what Flynn and Stone said when Jenkins put their gags back on after the failed remedy.

When Ezekiel’s talking to Cindy, we get a lot of his backstory, and see him fumble with complimenting her since he doesn’t do that normally...and that smile he does when he sees his words working on her, it’s priceless.

Something tells me an industrial freezer wouldn’t get that cold to get metal to the brittle point...cool concept anyway

The computer says “whomper” which is a reference to “WOPR” from War Games...I love that movie.

Theory time again...the fact that Ezekiel says that he found the right ones worthy of his love tells me his obsession from wanting them safe is a really plausible candidate on what made him, and Eve, immune. It’s not that Flynn and Stone don’t care for the others, but Flynn is in a vulnerable place from the episode before, and Stone’s had 20+ years of not having mutual care going on for his true self, so he’s still settling into it. Ezekiel’s jumped into it wholeheartedly. Theory time over.

Love how Ezekiel has to like reboot after Cindy kisses him. He was completely caught off-guard. Also when he leaves...he doesn’t kiss her on the mouth, he goes for the forehead...most people go for the mouth...but I guess that could be a preference thing.

The final scene...the first time I saw it, I totally thought for a moment Stone was going to confront him about his suspicions of Ezekiel’s love being for him...but of course that didn’t happen. Ezekiel was going to say something when Stone walked away though, and it wasn’t going to be “no” in a normal denial if Stone had been right (because Ezekiel rarely fesses up to stuff right away) so he was going to say something else. I need to knoooooowwww...

“And the Eternal Question”

“I’m not sick anymore” *bursts into flames* well okay then...if you say so...always cracks me up.

Flynn was in no way subtle about the clue he found.

Ezekiel...boy...don’t eat people’s food...also if they hadn’t ripped off the curtain, I don’t think she would’ve burst into flames since she was only exposed for a bit. And Stone and Ezekiel re-creating the scene...poor Cassandra just sees Stone bent over Ezekiel, patting him, and Ezekiel’s shrieking...

I agree wholeheartedly with the LiTs...the spa is beautiful and I’d never leave either...unless it was humid...that’s a deal breaker for me.

Estrella was not being subtle about using her vampire hearing...but apparently none of them thought that odd. Stone immediately sees what’s going on and starts playing wing man. He does try to point it out to Ezekiel by leaning into him, but Ezekiel doesn’t get his body language. I would’ve loved to see what would’ve happened if we had a few seconds more after Cassandra and Estrella walk off, because I figure we would get Ezekiel either asking what was up and Stone explaining, or Ezekiel realizing it. To be fair, he missed it at the weather lab in season 2 as well.

When Jenkins mentions Simone and Flynn, Cassandra’s like “Oh boy, make that two Librarians who fell for vampires.”

Ezekiel gets manicures...good to know. Also why wouldn’t Ezekiel have a gem loupe...he’s a thief...and they’re are shiny rocks everywhere.

The whole Jazekiel fight scene...the “You got me” “glad you feel that way,” the arm running. And Jenkins saving them, he’s so cool.

Half the montage when Cassandra’s in surgery, Ezekiel and Stone stay together, the last clip they’re hunched towards each other...for comfort???

Stone totally went and told Estrella Cassandra made it because he’s a good wing-man.

My only comment when the Castrella kiss happened was “ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” so there’s that.

“And the Fatal Separation”

I wonder how sick of bananas Stone got while he was at Shangri-La...or if the banana smoothies were a treat for him finishing his training.

So with Flynn not dying in the end, did his candle get longer again? Or is it just still lit? Also if he was going to die, and his was short, how come Charlene’s were not short? I guess being immortal messes with the candles?

Eve thinks Cassandra’s gift is now what alternate reality Cassandra had.

The zoom on Flynn’s leg scar....who thought that was ok??? It’s so obnoxious...we do cuts for a reason guys...

Land Pirates...yes. According to the Amazon trivia thing, the Trojan horse is in the Iliad first, not Odyssey. I haven’t studied either so I wouldn’t know. Also Stone was having fun memorizing the layout of Shangri-La while he was there for sure to know that secret entrance/exit.

I can’t get over Ezekiel not being able to drink...if you’re jaw is fused shut...your lips still work boy...

Love how Cassandra's just as confused about helping Ezekiel as he is getting her help.

The music went all Doctor Who again in that last fight scene.

Stone freaking out about the tattoo...but like honestly why would he hide it boy, I know it’s instinct for him to hide stuff, but you’d think by now he’d realize he doesn’t have to hide anymore and communication is super important about everything.

Man the Jenkins and Charlene feels. Also I need to know what Charlene said to Eve. If it had something to do with her knowing about Eve being a sleeper agent man that’d be cool.

Stone has a confused scowl when he’s sad...and confused...sometimes it’s hard to tell what he’s feeling because of that.

“And the Wrath of Chaos”

Watching this back again I can see now Eve was planning. She wanted the Librarians free because she knew they’d be able to take care of things.

“They can’t know we’re talking” “I’ve been meeting with DOSA” well so much for that Eve.

Why is Ezekiel so bummed about not getting to see Mount Rushmore??

I know Flynn’s in on this...but he did good acting this time...probably feeding off everyone’s hurt and disappointment. Also that utter look of disappointment on Jenkins’s face as he got stoned...poor boy.

Flynn’s not sad about Eve...he’s said he had to lie to his family...and he’s feeling it hard on top that bookcase.

Ezekiel got really frustrated with the dosa trap on Jenkins’s box thing...a level of frustration we last saw in “And the Point of Salvation” when he angrily beats stuff with the crowbar.

Honestly kind of surprised Jenkins didn’t know the fail safe...seems like something he’d need to know after the first time Charlene had to do it.

Gotta love that Flynn saved his painting...which isn’t magical that I know of.

Charlene said she had the scoop on the other side of the mirror...so she must know Flynn’s not gonna die.

Apep is surprisingly gullible, following artifact crumb trail.

I wonder if Stone had communicated about the magic he got from Shangri-La, if they would’ve connected stuff earlier...because Stone initiates making Apep human by revealing his tattoo when he puts thing together in his head.

So did the ley lines completely go away? I mean it was different than when they just faded back after Prospero.

Finally Jenkins moved stuff to more easier to get places...only took how many invasions of the Library? Also they say they quit using magic...but I mean it comes with the job...sometimes magic is the only solution...so I don’t expect they will be to stringent on that.

Final thing...Flynn has a bubble pipe...of course he has a bubble pipe.

Well, that’s it for now. I can’t wait for season 4 this fall...it’s gonna be super interesting for sure with all the pics and stuff we’ve seen of set so far. As always, feel free to message me about anything I’ve said and related Librarians rambles.

[brazenautomaton]

I’m just going to post about That Reminder I guess

for the record or whatever

for me the things that “trigger” me are just the things that remind me of how pointless and futile everything is and how powerless I am and how intolerable life is. I don’t feel positive emotions with nearly the intensity I do negative emotions, if I feel them at all instead of deducing their presence from secondary indicators, so for me the “positive” state maps most closely to “not currently thinking about how awful it is to be alive and how much I want to stop” and things that remind me of that make the positive-shell vanish and return the negative emotions at full strength.

so it wasn’t that “chester cheetah makes me suicidal”

it’s that taken on their own merits, by the factual contents of the words and actions, what @pondwitch was doing was self-humiliating. following me around in unrelated posts being insufferable, making arguments that hinged on such a poor reading of the words they bordered on illiteracy, dredging up completely unrelated topics that also required such a poor reading of the words to be an argument that they bordered on illiteracy. (”I like a nonstandard version of Category X where A doesn’t happen, since I do not like A, but the conceptually related B happens.”  “You are self-evidently a bad, contemptible person because you like A.”)

but none of that mattered. everything said was a hilarious “dunk” that marked me as contemptible and pondwitch as cool and awesome. posting dumb chester cheetah bullshit is just exulting in that: “look, nothing I say has to have anything to do with reality at all, I can just say obviously idiotic and trite non-sequiturs, and they still prove me great and you contemptible. remember when I played out that ‘you are a clown’ joke into the grave despite it never being funny, complete with Yahoo Chat-styled *actions in asterisks*? that sure was stupid and awful and yet it still marked you as humiliated and me as cool!”

and the thing this reminds me of is: the popular are invincible. someone with inherent popularity can just decide you deserve to be humiliated, and because of that and for no other reason, everything about you is humiliating. there is nothing you can do to stop them because they do not interact with facts-about-the-world, they just interact with their own inherent popularity and your inherent lack of it. punishment happens to those who cannot make it stop by the force of their popularity, here is your reminder that no matter what you do or what they do, the popular can simply assert you into deserving punishment, and everything they do or don’t do and everything you do or don’t do proves it right. you have no ability to defend yourself from them because they only interact with inherent popularity, which you are powerless to alter

pondwitch said they would stop “dunking on” me due to the upset it was causing, something that certainly allowed them to feel an emotional reward for What A Good Person I Am, and then went right back to their “get a load of this guy” gesticulating at things about me that became contemptible because they waved their arms and mugged like jon stewart. because they asserted themt o be bad, despite this assertion being obviously and trivially contradicted by the very words they quoted. it didn’t matter. they were still a rad kid dunking on me, because of inherent popularity. 

“get a load of this guy”-ing me over things that have no relationship to reality or are active and malicious lies is one of my biggest “reminded of powerlessness” triggers. because once again, there’s nothing i can do about it, anything I do or don’t do is obviously proof that I am contemptible because get a load of this guy. facts about the world do not affect “get a load of this guy”, because the popular assert me to be contemptible, and it is so. and I am already a person who it is inherently emotionally rewarding to betray. when people do the old “get a load of this guy, let’s all get emotionally rewarded by feeling and expressing contempt for him” thing, they are basically increasing the bounty paid out for betraying me: there’s more and more emotional rewards offered for betraying me, now you get to side with the popular and do what they do and align with them. it has happened in the past. people I trusted betrayed me to join in chortling “get a load of this guy!” when people betray me, they go to the circle to say “get a load of this guy!” and feel and express contempt for me. there’s a bounty on my head and this stuff is just increasing the number, and there’s nothing I can do about it. and the higher it gets, the more likely people will betray me, because the emotional rewards of siding with the popular and feeling contempt for the unpopular are too great to turn down. and there’s nothing I can do.

I thank @mugasofer and anyone who defended me. one of the things that makes this whole process much worse is the feeling that people say in private “that was wrong, they should not do that” but won’t actually say so to anyone else because they cannot side against popularity, and then when it comes down to it, they just side with the popular and start doing the same thing they assured me in private was wrong. seeing people actually willing to go to bat and say “this is wrong”... I don’t know if it makes it “better” but it makes the badness of it less intense.

nobody should come at pondwitch or follow them around or any of that now, though, because not only is harassing people wrong, it only makes it worse and cannot possibly make anything any better. you can’t popularity-attack the popular.

[myaltao3feed]

by miroend

"Listen, my life in New York is far from perfect, I'm aware of it," Eddie starts, and Richie looks down to where Eddie's hand is resting on the sheets before he can stop himself, to the dull gleam of his wedding band, "but I'm doing fine there, I'm doing okay, it's a life. What this is— this is regurgitating stuff I got over long ago, things I've moved past. There is no use in dredging any of that up. I don't need this shit messing me up in the head."

And Richie gets it, because he's been back home for less than 24 hours and it’s already been like going through a marathon of a midlife crisis. But he's back, lying here in Derry, with his first and oldest and bestest friend in the world, both of them half paralyzed with fear, trying to bite back the urge to grasp for him across the sheets. Good and bad, old and new.

The one advantage of the clown, Richie thinks, is that at least there's a concrete way to deal with it.

—

Richie Tozier gets his heart broken, and then some.

Words: 14211, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier

Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

Additional Tags: Internalized Homophobia, Angst, Eddie Lives, Post-Canon, Coming Out