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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

Note

so cute fic request. You are Maddie's OBGYN and at every appointment she insists to set you up with Buck, you deny her and finally one say yes just to be quiet and you meet what a great guy Buck is

The Set Up

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and doctors offices, reader wears makeup, alcohol and the consumption of

Category: Straight Up Fluff

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: here's a lil late v-day present for y’all :)

Part 2: Dispatch: Labour in Progress

----

“How does the baby look ?” Maddie was laid back, her eyes on the monitor. “Perfect, a perfect little baby” you smile at her as you hand her a towel to wipe up the gel.

“How many copies would you like ?” you turn towards the ultrasound machine.

“As many as you'd give me” she laughed, pulling her shirt back down.

“Dad’s working ?” you asked, leaning back in the chair. “Yeah, he’s been trying to get off a day to come with me” she sits up, pulling out her phone.

Maddie was one of your favourite patients, she was a sweetheart and always happy, regardless of what was happening, you didn't know how she did it. She began showing you a few pictures of the nursery and two guys who were in the picture. The first guy was Chimney, who was the baby’s father and Maddie’s boyfriend, the two of you had met at a previous appointment and the other guy, who you hadn't meant yet but felt like you had, was her brother Evan or Buck, which is what he went by.

“You know, if you want to just come in one day when he's off work, we can just do a regular check-up just so he can see. It doesn’t have to be anything special for you to come in”

“You’d do that ?”

“Of course I would, between me and you, you’re my favourite patient”

Maddie smiled at you, “so,” she gave you a look, “since I am your favourite patient, would you also go on a date with Buck ?” she asked, you nearly choked on your coffee. Maddie had a habit of trying to set you up with her brother. She did it often but it still caught you off guard each time. You coughed, “Maddie, no.” you laughed, “that would be unprofessional”

“Oh come on, take a risk y/n. Life goes on and one date won't kill you”

“Who said I’m looking ?”

“Please, you are. You can't lie to me” she smiled, you shook your head. “Still a no Maddie” you handed her the copies of the ultrasound. “If you do want to do the ultrasound when he’s home, just give me a call” you smiled at her and she got up. “I will, thank you”

A few weeks later and Maddie was back in your office. “Good afternoon momma,” you were looking at the files as you walked in, pushing the door shut with your foot. Taking a seat on your little spinny chair, you look up when Maddie says good morning back to you.

“Oh Chimney, it’s nice to see you” you smile as you shake the gel bottle.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “it’s good to be here”

You hand him the gel bottle, he looked at you with brows furrowed. “You’re a paramedic, aren't you ? Go ahead” you chuckle as you turn the ultrasound machine on. “How are you feeling ?” you ask, “good actually, thanks for asking” Chim answers you.

“I’m glad to hear that but I was asking Maddie” Chim’s mouth forms an O and he nods, Maddie smiles at him. “I’m good, baby’s good too. Kicking a lot recently. Especially when I drink orange juice” she chuckled.

“And still just the one cup of coffee ?”

“Yeah, he won’t let me have anymore” she groans

“Good, as he should be. You’re lucky I agreed to the one cup Maddie, you know I rather if you didn’t”

“Ugh,” she groaned and rolled her eyes, “not you too”

“I’m your doctor, it's my job to remind you unfortunately”

Maddie sighs and rolls her eyes once again. You get what she meant, you couldn’t be pregnant and not have coffee, pregnancy is exhausting as it is, imagine it without coffee. “you know how to use an ultrasound machine right ?” you look over at Chimney, who was looking rather confused.

”I do, why ?”

“Would you like to do it ?”

“Really ?”

“Yeah, I let the dads have a chance to do it sometime. Makes them feel a little more involved”

“I'd love too”

You hand him the wand and step back, you watch as he rolls it across her belly. It was always sweet when the fathers came to the appointment, even more so when they're involved.

“Y/n?”

“Yes Maddie?”

“Will you go on a date with Buck ?” She smiled sweetly at you, Chim looked at her, half shocked and half confused.

“If I say yes to one date, will you quit bugging me about it ?”

“Of course, just one date is all I’m asking for”

“Does he know you’re setting him up ?”

“Yeah- well no ? but he won't mind. It's part of my job as his sister”

“Maddie, I have siblings as well, you don't see me setting them up”

“Yeah yeah, that’s fine”

Chim turned to you. “everything looks good doc”

“Then we’re all done. Just hit print on the machine and you’ll get the pictures”

Maddie wiped the gel off her stomach. She took a pen from the desk and scribbled a number down before handing the paper to you. “That’s his number, just message him”

“You’re setting me up and I have to message him too ?”

“Oh come on, you’ll be fine. Thank you for this and I'll be expecting details at my next appointment!” She gave you a smile before walking out. Chim looked at you, “I’m sorry I didn't know she was going to do that.” You laughed, “it's okay, she’s not the first person to do that. You should catch up with her though, she walks really fast for a pregnant lady” you chuckle, Chim smiled and walked out to find Maddie. You had some time to kill before your next appointment, you looked down at the paper in your hand.

Do you text or not ? Wouldn't that be creepy ? Like oh hey, I'm your sister’s doctor let's go on a date.

You know what ?

Screw it, what’s the worst that could happen.

To Buck: Hey, I'm y/n. Your sister gave me your number, hope this isn't weird. She's been trying to set me up with you for months, thought we’d hit it off haha

God that was so stupid. Why the hell did you put haha ?

From Buck: Hey, it’s cool. She’s weird like that. What’s up ?

Oh shit, he answered.

To Buck: Just at work, how about you ?

From Buck: Same thing

Wait what do I say now ? Do you ask him out ?

From Buck: Hope this isn't too forward of me or anything like that, but maybe you’d wanna grab a drink tonight ? Only if you’re free

Guess you don't have to ask him now

To Buck: Yeah, that sounds good. Pick a place and let me know ? I’m off at 4 so anytime after that is fine.

From Buck: I’m off at 6, how about 7 at the bar on Main Street ?

To Buck: sounds good, see you then

It was now 3:30 and Maddie was your last patient of the day. There was no harm in leaving now. After putting away your files and replying to a few emails from patients, you headed out. Only one issue you had when you got home was what to wear.

Well so you thought.

Taking a shower was the easy part, trying to do your hair and makeup with only 2 hours left, was a bit of a hassle. First disaster of the night was too much mousse in your hair, making it sticky and tacky. Washing it out, you managed to set it the way you like. The powder compact had fallen onto the floor, you hoped it wasn’t broken, turns out hope isn't enough. The other powder you had was far too light for your complexion right now and you decide against makeup for the night.

Let him meet the bare you, you can wow him next time, if there is a next time.

Deciding on a simple outfit, a white shirt that fit you nicely and a pair of black pants that went along with it. In your head, it seemed boring but in the mirror, it looked much better. Walking into the kitchen, there was a half drunk glass of wine from the night before.

Stale wine or nervous wreak ? Stale wine it is.

You down the wine, spilling some onto your shirt. “Are you kidding-” groaning and turning back to the room, you end up changing your entire outfit. A pair of blue jeans and a black top that fit you in all the right places. One more look in the mirror and a hand through your hair, you headed out the door.

It didn't take you long to arrive at the bar, as you only lived a few minutes off Main Street. You had seen Buck from the countless pictures Maddie had shown you so it didn’t take long to spot in at a table in the corner either.

“Hey” you walked over, a smile on your face. He stood up, “Hi! you must be y/n” he leaned in for a hug, you mirrored his actions. “I am, it’s nice to meet you”

The two of you sat across from each other and there was a bottle of beer in front of you. Buck spoke up when he noticed you noticing the bottle, “I ordered for you, I hope that's alright- you can order something else”

“It’s fine, thank you” you take a sip, not your usual choice in drink but you didn't need to complain either. There was some silence for a while, not uncomfortable but not comfortable either. Anyone that passed by could tell it was a first date, if you could even call it that.

“How do you know Maddie ?” he asks, you smile at him and take a sip of the beer before answering him.

“I’m her OB”

“Her ?” Buck had a confused expression on his face.

“Her doctor, her obstetrician actually”

“Oh for baby Buckley” he nodded.

“Yeah, she's been bugging me about you since we’ve met actually. She’s sweet but she’s persistent” you chuckle and Buck gives you a smile, “that’s my sister”

The night went by rather quickly, the two of you sharing work stories. Buck told you about the time he worked a full moon and they responded to a call at a yoga class only to have 3 women go into labour simultaneously.

“It was the full moon I swear! I tried to tell Bobby but he didn't listen to me!” he said, laughing.

You nodded and laughed too, “no, it’s true. I've had so many full moon babies. I never book off full moons because I know someone is going to go into labour”

“Thank you! Someone gets what I mean!”

You then told him about the time you filled in for your colleague, he told you it was supposed to be a regular birth but turns out it was quadruplets. It was nice to find someone who understood your weird work schedule. The two of you shared stories until the waitress came over to tell you that they’d be closing in a few minutes. It was a little past midnight when she came over, the two of you decided to call it a night and head out together.

“How are you getting home ?” he asked you, you walked with him over to his Jeep that was parked down the street. “I’ll just walk, I don’t live too far from here”

“No” he stated while shaking his head

“No ?” you questioned him, your brows furrowed as you looked at the man in front of you.

“I invited you out, at least let me take you home. It’s late too, it won't be right to let you walk home by yourself”

“Are you sure ? I don't want you to go out of your way”

“Oh no it’s cool, c’mon”

He opened the door for you like the gentlemen he is and then got in after. “Which way my darling ?” he gave you a cheesy smile which made you chuckle. “A left at the next light and the brown building is me” you leaned back in the seat. It was quiet as he drove down the street, you looked over at him and admired him. From the way his hand rested on his wheel to the little smile on his face, even to the birthmark above his eye.

“It's rude to stare”

“Can't help myself, you're pretty”

Oh shit, did you just-

Buck looked over at you, a wicked little smile on his face. “You think I’m pretty ?”

You could feel the blush on your face, “uh- well- um I guess ?”

“I think you more than guess that but whatever you say” he smiled

Buck pulled into the building parking lot, he stopped and his head hit the seat as he leant back. Looking over at you, “let me walk you up ?”

“You’ve already done enough, it's fine”

“It’s fine. Come on” he got out, you mirrored his actions. Buck followed behind you as the two of you made your way up to your apartment. Unlocking the door, you stepped in and he stood by the door.

“Do you want to come in ?” setting your keys on the counter, you look back at the man who was leaning against the doorframe.

“I’d love too but I've got the first shift. Maybe another time ?”

“Yeah, that’s fine” walking back over to him, you stood in front of him. Even with him leaning, he still towered over you.

“I had a nice time tonight” you say, he nods. “I did too. Maybe we can do this again sometime ?”

“I'd like that”

“Okay.” he smiles, “well, good night then y/n”

“Good night Buck” standing on your toes, you go to kiss his cheek but it seems he had the same idea, both of you turning your heads at the same time and your lips were on his. Buck’s hand cupped your face for the few moments your lips were on his. When you pulled away, Buck had a slight red tint on his face, a blush or simply could have been the heat coming from your apartment, either way you were sure you looked the same way.

“How does Saturday sound ? Noon for lunch if you’re free ?” he breaks the silence.

"Saturday sounds perfect”

Buck smiled at you once more, he turned and began walking back to the elevator. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, turning back once again and walked towards your door. He leaned down and gave you one more kiss. Laughing at the sweetheart that was now smiling at you from the other end of the hallway, you watched as he stepped on the elevator and then shut your door.

Outside of your building was a happy Buck who skipped his way over to his car, his keys twirling on his finger with a big grin on his face. As he got into his car, he sent his sister a text message.

To Maddie: You seem to know me better than I think, thank you.

Upstairs, there was a similar scene, a happy you skipping their way to bed with a smile on their face. As you laid in bed, you too sent a text message to Maddie.

To Maddie: Your match making efforts have worked, thank you.

----

taglist: @mrs-dr-reid @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21

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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago

Text

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇʀᴅ ⓟⓐⓡⓣ ②

_________________________

ғʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x sʜʏ-ɪsʜ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴜ (ɪɴᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss)

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: (two part series!) You’re starting to struggle in class and decide to ask your professor for some tutoring or extra classes to boost your grade. He ends up assigning the last person you’d expect to tutor you. (is it really a surprise though?)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: cw: talking about a car accident and infertility

smut 18+ (praise kink, dirty talk, oral fem receiving, hair pulling, marking, choking, slight spanking if you squint, slight bondage), major aftercare, fluff? This is pretty filthy lmao.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟺.𝟹 ᴋ (ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏᴏᴏᴏᴏ sᴏʀʀʏ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴏᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ!)

ᴀ/ɴ: Thank you so much for all the love in the last part! I was truly expecting maybe about 20 likes but so far its gotten over 100! Thank you for being so nice to me on my first ever post and hope you enjoy part 2!

__________________________

For the next two or so weeks you avoid Bucky like the bubonic plague. You didn’t exactly hate the fact that he kissed, but he was your tutor. Isn’t that inappropriate? Let alone him being a part of a frat house. It wouldn’t be a good mix.

One good thing though is that your overall grade in class has gone up since your tutor sessions with Bucky so at least it wasn’t for nothing. He’s tried to talk to you in class a couple times when you didn't go to him but ended up giving up when you began showing up right when class started or going out of your way to even go near him.

Again, you didn’t hate him; hell you weren’t mad anymore, but you still avoided at all costs. It’s totally not because you're scared you’ll actually fall for him. How could someone like Bucky even look your way? Maybe he just wanted to get into your pants like all the boys in the house.

You didn’t tell Natasha that Bucky kissed but she could definitely tell that something was up. You were usually at Bucky’s frat house on weekdays but you’ve been canceling sessions every night since the incident.

One night you were studying alone in your apartment and Natasha was pacing around on her phone. She was dressed to go to a frat party tonight but it seems maybe her ride isn’t available. You wonder why she can’t herself when she has a car.

“Hey Y/n,” Nat crept up to you.

“Yes,” you drew out.

“Would maybe, possibly, perhaps, might be able to be my DD?” she asked.

“Your what?”

“My designated driver. Wanda has a family emergency; her and her brother flew out like an hour ago and I haven’t been able to find anyone to pick me up.”

“I can drop you off and pick you up,” you offered. You’d rather stay up late in case she wants to come home than stay at the party all night, especially if she finds another bed to stay in till morning.

“I mean you could do that but would it be more fun to actually party for once. Come on babe you’re too uptight, you need to have fun especially with how hard you’re working in school right now.”

“Nat, you know that’s not my scene.”

“Just stay with me. Or Bucky I’m sure he wouldn’t mind hanging with you tonight,” she suggestively, bringing confusion to your face.

“Huh?”

“Oh nothing Just come with me please? If it gets too much text me and I’ll let you know if I need a ride back home.”

“Actually?” you asked.

“Pinky promise.”

“Ok give me like 5 mins.”

You ran to your room and picked out an outfit you felt sexy but comfortable in; I mean if you were going to inevitably run into Bucky at this party might as well look presentable right? When you came out ready, Nat whistled, hyping you up and felt your face heat up a bit.

“Stop, let’s just go,” you averted.

You arrived at the house music booming from down the street. People outside drinking from red solo cups, cars already picking up drunks and dropping people off to get said drunk. You hastily parked the car and Nat grabbed your hand and pulled you close as you guys walked to the party. You weren’t going to lie, you were really nervous.

You heard stories about these parties but you were trying to convince yourself that they may be exaggerated somewhat but still didn’t do much for your nerves. When you walked you eyes almost immediately locked with Bucky’s. To say he was shocked to see you at a frat party was for sure an understatement.

Bucky began to move through the crowd to meet up with you but when he got to the entrance it was like you disappeared. Disappointed, he returned to the mini bar where the drinks were all held, where Steve served the drinks. Asked for a beer.

“How’s it going, man?” Steve asked.

“She’s here.”

“Nat? I really think there's something between us. I’m thinking about asking her on a proper date you know?”

“Really? That’s awesome, but I’m talking ‘bout Y/n,” Bucky clarified.

“What? I thought she hated parties.”

“I did too.”

As if on queue, you tapped Bucky on the shoulder.

“Hi.”

“Hey, what on earth are you doing here?”

“Nat needed a designated driver and Wanda and her brother are out of town.”

“Yeah Pietro lives here in the house, Steve drove him and Wanda to the airport a couple hours ago.”

You nodded your head and things got awkward again, but then again what’s new with that.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“I can’t drink.”

“Oh right. Do we have soda?”

“We coke for the rum but you can take a can.”

“Thanks Steve,” you took a can of coke from him.

You and Bucky and Steve all held wholesome conversation for a little bit then Nat came and whisked him away. Bucky was put on bar duty from then on and you decided to keep him company until Nat was ready to go home. But so far from the way Steve and her were dancing together you didn’t think Nat was gonna wanna go home.

You asked Bucky how long Steve and Nat have had their little thing and apparently it’s been going on for awhile. You had sneaking suspicion that they were together in some way but since Nat never brought it up you didn’t want to bug her. It was pretty easy to figure out though considering she didn’t come home some nights.

They’re good together though and you hope they make it official soon.

Talking to Bucky, you felt a hand brush against but when you looked no one was there. You figured it was just getting crowded. After a couple of hours you decided to text Nat to see where she was. When she didn’t respond, you took it upon yourself to call her.

“Nat where did you go?”

“I'm in the car,” she slurred.

“What! You can’t be driving! How did you even get the keys?” you yelled.

“I snatched them from you when you and Bucky were flirting with each other. Steve couldn’t find his keys so I took yours,” she shouted into the phone.

“When did you- whatever, is he sober?” you asked.

“Yeah and I am not even that dru-,” she hiccuped.

“Nat…” you warned.

“Steve is my boyfriend and we’re clean. I’ll be safe; it’s not like I can have kids anyway.”

“Nat.” When you moved in together at the beginning of the year, you noticed one time her grabbing her lower stomach in discomfort and offered her any products for her period. She told you she doesn’t get one and being the dumbass you are you asked why. She told you when she was a teenager she got into a car accident that caused extreme internal bleeding causing Nat to become infertle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that,” you apologized.

“It’s ok babe. If anything you be safe.”

“She can’t see you, babygirl,” you heard Steve say and laughed out loud.

“Oh! I’m winking!” she shouted.

“Oh my god. Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

“Anyways buh-bye, girly!” she hung up the phone.

“What happened?” Bucky came up behind you. You looked over at the bar and saw Bruce bar-keeping.

“Nat took the fucking car with Steve.”

“Why didn’t he use my car?”

“She said he couldn’t find the keys and I guess it was easier to just steal from me when I wasn’t looking.”

“Wow, ok. Stealth much?”

“Right? She’s like a Russian spy,” you laughed.

“Well, you probably need a ride then,” Bucky brought up.

“I don’t know if I wanna go home knowing Steve is probably gonna be railing her into the next dimension.”

“Yeah, you can spend the night here. I can sleep on the floor.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it’s not a problem. We probably have an air mattress hiding somewhere.”

“Thanks Buck. well since I’m not going anywhere I guess I could have a drink now.”

“What’ll it be?”

You drank a couple beers feeling the alcohol beginning to flow effortlessly through your veins. The music was still booming through the house and you found yourself getting lost to the rhythm. You made your way to where everyone was also dancing and let the music guide your body sensually.

You didn’t notice it yet but Bucky was staring completely in love with the way you were moving. He’d never seen you in this kind of environment and definitely not in the clothing you were wearing. You looked truly sexy even more so dancing the way you were dancing; like you had control over everything in the world.

You soon felt a pair of hands circle around to your waist instantly knowing who they belong to. Bucky moved his hips snug against your backside perfectly fitting with you. You let your head lean back feeling Bucky breathe against your neck.

“You driving me crazy, doll,” Bucky whispered against your ear.

You shivered at his words.

“Please, let me show you how fucking stunning you are,” he moved his hands towards the front of your hips.

“What?” you turned around. You hadn’t expected Bucky to want to do anything with you.

“I can make you feel so good. You deserve it.”

“Bucky-”

“Do you want me to make you feel good?”

“I do,” you whined as he rubbed his hands against your lower back, pulling you so close.

He kissed you too softly, barely touching your lips, as he grabbed your hands and led to his room upstairs.

When you reached his room, the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat while your knees went to either side of his thighs. God his thighs. His hands went up your shirt grazing your bare skin with his fingertips as you continued to makeout sloppily.

“Can I take this off?” he asked, tugging your shirt.

“Please, yes please.”

Your arms went over your head and Bucky slowly kissed the exposed skin as your shirt inched higher and higher up until he tossed it to the side. The straps of your bra left off shoulders and Bucky continued to kiss any exposed skin on your body. Your hands ran through his hair and you tugged his strands earning a moan in return.

You tugged at his shirt as well and he complied quickly getting rid of his shirt and throwing it to the side. Bucky hands ran over your bottom and you jumped off him nearly ripping your bottoms off your body. You heard bucky chuckled as he too took the opportunity to take his pants off leaving him in boxers and nothing else.

“I want to taste you baby girl,” Bucky bit at your ear.

Your body tensed a bit because although you were not a virgin, you were not that experienced, especially compared to Bucky.

“Is that ok? I’m sorry, we don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to regret anything, princess. We can stop.”

“No! I don’t want to stop. No one’s just ever wanted to do that, you know,” you whispered feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Oh baby, what kinda shit boys were you with? Let me show how good a woman is supposed to feel, got it?”

You swallowed hard, but nodded of course.

Bucky picked you up and gently laid you down onto the bed. His hands rubbed your thighs softly and he kissed your stomach ever so softly. He was trying his very hardest to make sure you were comfortable and relaxed as much as possible. Bucky traced the lining of your underwear and looked to you once again to make sure everything was ok by you. You nodded but that wasn’t enough for Bucky.

“Words, baby. I wanna hear you say it,” he whispered, lips against your inner thigh.

“Bucky,” you whined.

“Come on, baby. Use your words like a big girl,” he snickered.

“Please, touch me, Bucky. I want you to use your mouth on me like you promised.”

“There ya go,” he said pulling your underwear down your legs.

He slowly opened your legs and kissed your inner thigh leaving a dark purple mark for him to see and him only. When he was satisfied with the marks he left on your inner thighs he licked a slow and wet line against your pussy. Your hips instantly bucked into his face and your hands flew to his hair.

You tugged at his hair again and released a grunt from Bucky, the vibrations from his mouth pleasuring you even more. Bucky brought his fingers to your hole and he continued circling his tongue around your clit making you moan and arch your back.

He entered a finger into you and then another. You were already beginning to feel full from just his fingers alone, you couldn’t wait until he was able to fuck you balls deep. Your orgasm was approaching quicker than you anticipated, your toes curled and your back arched off the bed. Your heels dug into Bucky’s back but he simply continued to eat you out until you finally peaked.

“Bucky!” you shouted his name in pleasure.

“That’s it baby girl. You're my good girl, right?”

“Yes, I’m your good girl. Oh god, I’m cumming,” you moaned.

Bucky helped you ride out your first orgasm of the night completely enamored by your beauty. When you finally came down from you high you reached for Bucky pulling him into a heated kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue and moaned into his mouth. You pulled him closer and sat up moving him to sit his back against his headboard.

“I don’t know what I want to do more, return the favor or ride you until my legs shake.”

“You can return the favor another time. Let me see you ride my dick, doll,” Bucky growled. Another time?

You crawled onto Bucky’s lap after he discarded his boxers letting his dick spring up, the tip red from lack of attention. It shocked you if you were being honest, it was so… big.

“Is that gonna fit?” you asked genuinely.

“Yeah, it will; but if it hurts too much you tell me to stop ok?” you nodded.

Bucky reached behind your back and unclasped your bra only to toss it to wherever the rest of your clothes were. His hands caressing your breasts; thumbs rubbing over your sensitive nipples, sending chills throughout your body. He kissed along your collarbone to your neck to your jaw before whispering in your ear.

“I have to grab a condom from the bathroom, baby girl. Sorry,” he began to move you.

“Why are you sorry?” you stopped him.

“I don’t wanna ruin the mood but safety is important before anything else.”

You weren’t gonna lie that actually kinda shocked you; and turned you on even more. You had completely forgotten about having a condom. You were on the pill but that doesn't mean you shouldn’t still use a condom. Bucky was back in no time and you took the condom from him wanting to put it on for him. Bucky moaned as you wrapped his dick and soon enough you were ready to go, arousal practically dripping down your inner thighs.

Bucky’s hand lid up to the back of your neck as you slid down his cock; both moaning at the feeling. You took a second to move but when you did things practically fell into pace. You quickly found a good rhythm for the both of you and soon enough you felt yourselves growing near climax.

Bucky’s hands gripped at your ass, grunting and moaning at the feeling of your walls gliding in and out of you. He smacked your ass leaving a slight red-ish mark for you to admire later. You pulled him closer, if that was even possible, burying your face in between Bucky’s neck and shoulder.

“I can feel ya getting close, baby. Fucking squeezing me. Feels so good, princess.”

“I'm gonna come, I’m so close.”

“Don’t come until I say so. Hold it, I know you can. Be my good little girl and fucking hold it.”

You sucked and kissed and licked his neck leaving little marks not nearly as big as the ones he was leaving all over you. Soon enough you felt the coil building in the pit of your stomach snap and you moaned so loud into Bucky’s ear, he almost came from hearing your moans.

“Sorry I literally screamed in your ear.”

“I told you not to come until I say so.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold it anymore. You felt too good,” you whispered, barely audible.

“That doesn’t matter. I told you to hold it,” Bucky got off the bed and reached for his pants. You got so scared that he was going to leave; terrified. But instead he took his belt he was wearing and stalked back towards you. Oh how the butterflies in your stomach fluttered right now.

“Arms up baby girl. You don’t get to touch me now.”

You complied, your stomach fluttering immensely at the mere thought of what Bucky was going to do with you now. When he finished looping the belt around the headboard of the bed his hands ran along your entire body kissing here and there until back up to you.

“Too tight?” you shook your head.

“Perfect. Winter; say the word and I stop,” he kissed passionately, sliding back in you, pussy sensitive from orgasming twice tonight.

Bucky didn’t take as much time as you did before starting to slam into you over and over again. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, toes curling in themselves, tears brimming your eyes. Bucky fingers dug into your waist surely leaving more marks for you in the morning.

His hand came up to wrap around your neck and squeezed ever so slightly.

“Feel good? My little fucking slut, whining and wiggling under me,” Bucky said, more to himself than anything.

“Fuck-” you moaned. You wrists rubbing against the belt, trying to pull away so you could touch Bucky.

“What is it? You wanna touch me,” Bucky’s hand squeezed a bit more and you moaned even louder, legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer that way.

“Oh good please Bucky, let me touch you!”

“Uh-uh, bad girls don’t get what they want. If you want to touch me you have to beg me like the good little whore you are,” Bucky growled.

“Fuck Bucky please, I’ll do anything for you just me let me touch you. Please, please, please!”

“Tell me your mine.”

“I’m yours, Buck. All fucking yours. No one else’s!”

“No one is ever gonna fuck as good as I do. Your mine.”

“Yes! I’m yours, oh god,” you moaned.

Bucky was extremely close to cumming and so were you so he undid the belt with one hand skillfully and your arms wrapped around his body pulling as close to you as humanly possible. Your hands ran through his hair and pulled hard as you both fell over the edge. Bucky settled between your legs for a minute kissing your breasts, your chest heaving trying to catch your breath.

Bucky got up and discarded the condoms making sure there were no tears or rips considering how rough he’d been with you. He didn’t intend to be rough at first but his mind was so clouded with you he practically lost control; but you didn’t mind not one bit.

Bucky came back with bottled water from a small refrigerator he kept in the corner of his room and held you back and head as you brought the water to your lips. After satisfying your dry and hoarse throat, Bucky picked you up and set down on his bathroom counter, the cold of the marble counter in extreme contrast to your hot skin.

He cleaned you up and inspected your wrists making sure you weren’t hurt; although they were quite red and would probably hurt in the morning. Lastly, he grabbed a wipe and cleaned the remaining mess of makeup you had put on the night before speaking up again.

“Was I too rough? I didn’t mean to be,” Bucky caressing the sides of your waist. You shocked your head no; the face with a blissfully fucked out expression and a smile making Bucky chuckle. He rubbed your skin with lotion to ease any irritation anything may have caused and kissed the marks he made during sex. He admits that he really likes seeing you marked up by him knowing he’s the only one who gets to see them and make them. Makes him proud that he was able to fuck so good and you loved it too.

He picked you up and took you to bed; kissing you all over one last time before letting you fall asleep in his arms. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was Bucky whispering about how good were to him, calling you his good little girl; rubbing your back ever so softly putting you to sleep.

+++

You woke the next morning arms and legs tangled with another. You turn your head to find Bucky Barnes’ face tucked into your neck soft breaths tickling your skin. You rubbed his arms and back, nails lightly scratching him causing him to stir a bit.

Bucky pressed soft kisses against your skin and rested his large warm hands on your ass and thighs. You felt the urge to use the restroom and haven’t going last night, you figured you should as soon as possible. Prying your mildly sweaty body from his was obviously unsuccessful with how much stronger he was compared to you. His legs moved further in between your thighs and he began kissing your chest making you giggle in return.

“Bucky, I have to use the restroom,” you grabbed his face.

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled and released his hold on you, not without whining of course.

You ran into his bathroom and shut the door. When you turned around you gasped realizing how marked up you were. Dark purple spots littered all over your chest and neck. Your wrists were bright red from the belt he used last night; however they didn’t hurt, a bit sore but not painful. Your thighs were also decorated with love bites and hickeys from Bucky last night and you smiled to yourself.

After you used the bathroom you cleaned yourself as well as possible but admittedly needed a shower in the end. You opened the door only to find Bucky, grinning like a little boy. You folded your hands underneath your chin evidently hiding your body with your arms as much as you could.

Bucky came up to you and placed his hands on your waist kissing the top of your head before turning you around to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. His body was flush against your and you could feel his dick sitting against your ass and lower back. His face came up and rested on your shoulder then grabbed your hands to wrap them behind his head and yours.

You played with his hair a bit feeling so confident and loved by the affection Bucky has been giving since you came into his room. His hands ran across your body everywhere they could reach before making eye contact with you in the mirror.

“Look at you, goddamn.”

“What?” you chuckled.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?”

You shook your head, feeling incredibly shy suddenly.

“Look how fucking beautiful and gorgeous and perfect you are. Geez, I can’t even handle it.”

You laughed out at how dramatic he was being.

“Goddamn, I could stare at your perfect body all fucking day,” he whispered, it wasn’t in a sensual tone however. It was almost like he was saying to himself, like he actually wanted to do as such.

“Please stay,” he asked you.

“Are you ok?” you sensed he was being incredibly serious, almost about to cry even.

His sad painted with sadness, eyes begging you to stay with him for the day. He wanted something with you.he wanted to be yours and hoped to God that you’d be his in return.

“Stay with me. Please?” you realized you didn’t think he was talking about staying for now, he meant stay with him, as a partner.

“What happened?” you caressed his face in your hands. He lifted you and placed you on the counter Like he did the night before, settling his hips in between your legs.

“They always leave,” he whispered.

“Who? ”

“I didn’t want to just sleep around with girls anymore so I started talking to them and taking them out but every time the night we had sex, they would always leave. I tried talking to them the next day but they always said they didn’t want anything out of it. So I stopped having sex altogether.”

Your heart ached for him. You didn’t want to do that to him. Of course you thought about it, but that was clearly before you realized Bucky wanted to be with you.

“I won’t leave.”

“We can stay in my room all day. You don’t even have to get out of bed. I can grab a couple game consoles from downstairs and we play on the tv. We order breakfast. I’ll wash your clothes. We have a washing machine in the basement,” Bucky said excitedly, you smiled excited as well for your day with Bucky.

“Can we take a shower first?” you asked.

“Yes of course, let’s take a shower.”

“Let’s?” you wiggled your eyebrows.

“Of course. Maybe we can pop in a couple rounds while we’re at it,” Bucky winked.

“Bucky!”

______________________

Ok, all done. :) Hope you liked it and maybe give it a little like or reblog? You don’t have to though lol

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ!

@baddie-barnes

@calwitch

@red42985

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #collage!bucky #collage au #au #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes smut

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prismatales · 5 years ago

Text

Baby? (Yagi Toshinori)

Anon:could you do one where all might finds out his girlfriend/fiance is pregnant even though they thought she would never be able to have children? 👉👈

How dare you hit me in the feels Anon...I love you

...This had to be a joke...right?

Those two pink lines had to be some mistake, a sick joke from the 10% chance of inaccuracy from the pregnancy test clutched tightly in your shaking hands, breath coming out in shaky puffs just from looking at the dreaded plastic stick.

Why did the universe enjoyed torturing you and Toshi so much?

After years and years of trying, of taking overwhelmingly nasty home remedies, fertility treatments and going from clinic to clinic, you and your then boyfriend had given up on the dream of having a child together after the last medical check-up, hearing the news from the doctor together with that damned look full of pity on her face didn't help the situation one bit the moment she gave you the diagnosis.

"I'm really sorry to be the bearer of such disheartening news, but based on the results...It's highly unlikely you'll manage to conceive a child..."

That was five years ago, and each and every single time you stumbled upon the children's section at stores that heaviness inside would always come back, each time more painful than the last one in cruel mockery.

So...Why did you let Midnight talk you into taking this cursed test into the first place after seeing you rushing to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach for the third time that week, considering that by this point the answer would be more than obvious and you knew it better than anyone?

"What does the test say Y/N?" Nemuri's voice could was heard from the other side of the door, she could hear you pacing back and forth through the small room.

"It's says it's a god damn joke!" She could hear you yelling, if anyone came in the small bathroom they'd quickly notice how much you were trembling, tears dangerously close to come out from all the emotions growing inside of you at the same time...along with the small life inside of you.

If there's really something, or rather someone growing in there...

"Are you serious?!" Midnight yelled out in excitement and opened the door, but her expression faltered a bit when she saw you sitting in the toilet while glaring at the test in your hands with a look of doubt.

Both fear and happiness radiated off your whole being, happy at the idea of finally being able to become a parent alongside your now fiance, but you were also afraid it was only a false alarm, you knew the possible outcome that would come should this be just some fake hope. Toshi and you would definitely be devastated, it was already hard enough the fist time you got the news that having a baby would be nearly impossible...so if this was just a mistake you weren't sure if the both of you could take it.

"I'm scared Midnight..." Your hands grasped your head stressfully, afraid this was just a dream or some sick joke "What if it's just a false alarm? I don't think Toshi and I will be able to handle it..."

She quickly crouched down in front of your nervous self, hands caressing your shoulders comfortingly, she knows how sensitive this subject really was for both you and Yagi, so it's natural for you to be so afraid of stepping inside another clinic just to be let down once again. Pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration the only thing left to do was face this current situation and see what happens, dwelling in fear won't give you the answer you're looking for.

"I may not understand how you're feeling right now, but I'll assure you everything's going to be alright...besides, think about it from this perspective" She stood up in front of you with a smile "Isn't it a coincidence that you guys are finally going to be a happy little family after he retired?"

...Midnight had a good point, why did this happen right after Toshi officially retired as the symbol of peace and Number One hero? Maybe it was some kind of signal, telling you this was the perfect time to bring a little one to this world, the small flicker of hope inside you kept growing and growing, reassuring you everything would be fine.

You were not aware your hand was caressing the spot where the little one was growing, not until the thought of giving Toshi the news came to mind, a smile crept upon your face at the idea of telling him that before he'd realize there would be somebody around calling him "Papa", probably wearing one of his characteristics hero Onesie.

The fit of giggles that came out couldn't be contained, the mental image of a mini Toshi stumbling around the house as they struggled to follow their father around the house was too cute to handle, and Nerumi knew just what you were thinking just by looking at your face.

"I need to surprise him, would you help me plan something?" She smiled brightly by your question.

"Thought you'd never ask!"

..........

......

...

Yagi Toshinori came home with exhaustion running though his whole body after today's training session with class 1-A and his training with Midoriya, in that moment his one and only desire was to die into bed to have a well deserved rest and possibly spend some time with his lovely Y/N before delving into the land of dreams.

Especially after he barely had time so see you that morning because of the stomach bug you apparently caught most likely due to the takeout ordered from that new place, he'd have to make sure to send a complain if by any chance his fiance's condition happened to get worse.

"I am home!" His voice came out mixed with a soft laughter, ever amused by the little call you always enjoyed to hear every time he came home, living together was quite an adventure, something full of excitement, happiness and joy, it was something that you wouldn't change for anything in the world.

"I am in the kitchen!" You call back with enthusiasm, there's something that has you in a good mood it seems, considering you're not waiting for him in the living room reading that book you love so much with that look of serenity that always manages to put him in a good mood even with all the current events, it's something worth adoring that could make even the most stoic of persons remember we're just humans after all.

Despite the exhaustion coursing thought every inch of his body Toshinori make his way to the kitchen in a steady yet slow pace, nothing but curiosity driving each step, thoughts deep in wonder...what exactly happened that has you in such a euphoric mood? Not that he doesn't like it, but today there's something else boosting that happy mood.

Stepping inside the kitchen he's met with an unusual sight, in the first place there's a small pastel yellow gift bag sitting on top of the table, and you're sitting on the other side of the table, chin resting over your hands which are resting over the wooden surface, there's such a bright smile on your face it could illuminate even the darkest of nights, it's been a while since the last time he saw you smiling that brightly.

The last time he saw that kind of smile was probably when he proposed two years ago.

"Welcome home Toshi! How did class go today?" You asked cheerfully, a glint in those E/C colored eyes hinted for an incoming surprise, a big one by the looks of it so he played along with it to see just what kind of stuff you were going to pull out.

"Hard as usual, those kids are going to become some of the greatest heroes the world has ever seen" Yagi pulled out the chair in front of you and took a seat "Young Midoriya's improving greatly as well...if only she could see his improvement as well..."

His voice dropped quickly and it was so easy to figure out why exactly, after all he told you everything about Nana and the history with All for One, it was clear as water talking about this would always be a sensitive subject for Yagi.

You were quick to comfort him, standing up and softly wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind "I'm sure Nana's watching everything from above...and even though we were unable to meet each other, I can assure you that she's proud of you and Midoriya"

Yagi's hands caressed your own and gripped it back carefully, it was his own way of thanking his love for being there for him despite everything that's happened so far, that's the very reason that made Yagi make up his mind the day he proposed, that's why he wanted you alongside him for whatever time he had left on earth.

"But enough of that, you have a surprise I do not want to ruin with my pessimist mood, what got my dear fiance in such a good mood?" He turns around in his spot to take a good look at your face, despite the recent conversation that smile is still there and doesn't seem to go away.

Pecking Yagi on the cheek before releasing him from the hug, the first thing you did was grab the gift bag in front of him before shaking it with enthusiasm, the sight was almost like watching a child getting riled up about their birthday present and was enough to make Yagi release a full fledged laugh at the way his fiance behaved.

"I got a surprise for you! And trust me when I say you did NOT see this coming!"

You hand him the bag before rushing for the phone to get his reaction on camera, it leaves him wary at first thinking it must be a prank, but on the other hand this good mood you're in it's more than enough proof it's something important.

"Should I expect something jumping at my face?" He chuckles.

"Just open your gift and take a look for yourself!" Your giggles are contagious, and with that motivation Yagi caves in and sticks his hand inside the bag, the ruffling inside riles up his curiosity tenfold when your literally start vibrating in excitement.

A few seconds later he finally pulls out a small pair of white baby shoes from the bag, they're small enough to fit a newborn and look even smaller when he's holding them in both hands, he just stares at them quietly for a while, there's not a bit of sound in the kitchen asides from your guy's breathing and the sounds outside from traffic and people passing by.

"What's this?" He can't help but ask, thinking is some game or something.

"They're shoes you dummy" You say from behind the camera, awaiting for his answer.

"I know what they are Y/N, but why did you buy this? They're small enough to fit a--" Yagi freezes on the spot, once he connects the dots his head whips around in you direction with wide eyes like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You're not joking...right?"

You shake you head with a smile, but before Yagi can say anything else you interrupt him.

"Look inside the bag, there's something else in there"

He rapidly starts rummaging through the bag and finds a white envelope that's quickly ripped open in a rush to get the paper inside it, his eyes quickly scan the contents of the letter before he turns back to look at you.

"This isn't a joke...right?" He asks you once again before looking back and forth between you and the papers in hand, practically shaking from everything he's feeling in that moment, it's actually a surprise to the both of you he hasn't started coughing up blood from the shock.

He stands up so quickly the chair scrapes against the titled floor, making a high pitched, ear splitting screech that neither of you seemed to mind, too distracted by the news to pay attention to anything else currently going on.

"Are you really...Are we really having a baby?!" He's standing in front of you, and the hope in his eyes makes it impossible to hold it in anymore.

"Yes! We're finally going to be parents!" You almost want to jump from happiness, but knowing Yagi he'd probably give you an earful before telling you to be careful, if the way he's constantly dotting over Midoriya isn't already proof enough.

Yagi quickly hugs you, strongly but carefully not to hurt you or the small life growing inside of you, he's only known about it for less than a few minutes and he's already being extremely careful with you.

"How long...?" He can't even speak properly, too close to tears and his voice comes out hoarse from how much he wants to cry in that instant.

"Four weeks, turns out the little one was the one responsible for the stomach ache, not the takeout" You laughed "I seriously hope you didn't send a complain"

"Who, me?" He pulls back, hands up in the air "No way!"

Good thing he forgot to call the restaurant in the midst of the whole surprise...

"Do you realize what this means?" Yagi quickly changes the subject, a glint in his eyes that can only mean one thing.

"We need to prepare the nursery asap!!"

"Oh my god Toshi, we still have 9 months to do so!"

"Nonsense, It's never too early, the quicker the better! Wait until young Midoriya finds out!"

"Should we get him an 'Honorary big brother' T-shirt?"

"Yes! And don't forget about the wedding! Should we do it before or after the baby's born?"

"Careful Toshi, Midoriya finally rubbed off on you"

This was going to be so much fun.

MASTERLIST

@t-amajiki @undead0relived @shoobirino @bnha-ra @godtieruwu @mysticalite

#mha imagine #bnha imagine #mha imagines #bnha imagines #bnha toshinori #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #all might #reader insert #female reader

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lombredanslaeu · 5 years ago

Text

hourglass | lee jeno

▸angst, fluff i guess??

▸ summary: sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

▸ WARNING: eating disorder, depression, body dysmorphia, starvation. if any of the above triggers you or if you are not comfortable, please refrain from reading the story.

All your life, you never really cared about your weight. As an engineering student and a part-time musical theatre actor, you never had the reason to be conscious of your body. Engineering required only your brain; no one cared what you wore or what you looked like in class. Musical theatre didn’t have as much standards for appearance than it does with vocals. Your body wasn’t that bad anyway. You were considered skinny by some and many grew envy about how you could eat so much and not gain a pound immediately. However, your perception of your body changed the day you started dating Lee Jeno.

You met Jeno when his company’s CEO decided to treat its artists with tickets to a Wicked show. You got the greatest opportunity of playing Elphaba; with your impeccable vocal talent, it wasn’t an effort to grace the stage and awe the audience. Your production always valued you not only because of your talent, but also because of your warm personality. You first made eye contact with Jeno when his company’s CEO took them backstage to meet the cast after the show. You had time to talk for a while as the CEO became deep in dialogue with the show’s director. It was Taeil who first initiated a conversation with you as the others, especially the youngsters, were too shy to start a conversation with anyone. As everyone warmed up with the other casts, you never failed to notice how Jeno was love-struck with you.

“Wow, your voice is defying the laws of gravity,” another member, Johnny, said to you.

You blushed and shook off the compliment. “Thank you so much. That meant so much to me.”

Everyone scurried off to different areas on the backstage. You were caught off-guard when one of the younger members, Jeno, talked beside you.

“How long have you been performing?” He asked.

“Only just for a year. I wasn’t planning on making this long-term. I only wanted to play a few shows here and there.” You explained. “but, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity of being Elphaba.”

“That was one of the greatest performance I’ve seen in so long.” He said. “I actually really enjoy musical theatre.”

“Really?” You asked, shocked by his confession. “What’s your favorite musical?”

“It used to be Cats,” He said, smiling shyly. “But I think know it’s Wicked.”

“Oh please,” You chuckled. “Cats is a really good show.”

He looked at you, laughing shyly. “Do you like frozen yogurt?”

“I like frozen yogurt,” You smiled.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself going on secret dates with the heartthrob. You would bond over coffee, books, and broadway musicals. You never knew he liked musicals. There would days where he would help you practice songs for your next show and you would watch him practice a choreography for a comeback. You both found the one thing that kept you closer and closer: the love for performing.

“Seeing the happy faces of my fans is one thing,” He started, staring off into the night. “But the look on my parents’ as they say how proud they are of me, is what keeps me going.”

You stared at his side profile and swallowed a lump in your throat. “They have every reason to be proud of you.”

He turned his head to meet your eyes. His eyes lingered on yours for a while before looking down at your lips. You blushed at the feeling he had over you.

“You’re really pretty.” He started. The statement took you by surprise. Not a lot of people tell you that you’re pretty but, if it comes from Jeno, any other doesn’t matter anymore.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” You chuckled. You’re not lying. Jeno has the looks that could make anyone wrapped around his fingers. “I feel like I don’t deserve to be under your gaze.”

“Of course you deserve to be looked at.” He said, more seriously this time. “I could build a gallery of you but that would give me more competitors so, I won’t do that.”

“Jeno, if you wanna kiss me, just do it.” You said. You wanted to punch yourself for what you just said. Normally, you would freak out and leave from embarrassment. But now, you held your gaze stronger. You had no idea where the courage came from.

And he did. He kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered. It didn’t end there. Later that night, he showed you how beautiful you are.

Sometimes, he would sneak out, with a member or two, to watch one of your shows. He would stare in awe at how people give you their applause. As the spotlight shine down on you, it was like he was seeing a goddess grace everyone with her beauty.

“Dude, if you don’t ask her out, I’m really gonna do it,” His friend, Jaemin, announced beside him.

“I already beat you into it, punk.” He responded boastfully. The shocked look on his friend’s face made him laugh.

Your peaceful relationship was cut short when his boss found out about the thing going on between you two. To say you were shocked by his calm and accepting nature would be an understatement. His company approved of your relationship. It was like the stars have aligned just for the both of you. The news broke out and spread like wildfire on the internet that night. You were too busy rejoicing with your lover that you failed to notice the threats and harsh comments of furious fans until the next morning.

You were supposed to wake up with the bird chirping and the sun shining just for you. However, you found yourself with an unfamiliar feeling in your gut. It was as if you were scared to do anything and go outside. You knew how ugly criticism from fans could be. You understood that many would not approve of your relationship but you accepted that. His company accepted the relationship and his future in NCT is not affected. At the end of the day, the comments would just float around the internet and disappear before you know it.

“You can block off the comments, you know,” He said.

“Yeah, but I think criticism can always help me improve,” You said. You didn’t want him to hate his fans.

“Those aren’t criticisms, Y/N” He replied. “Those are bashful comments.”

“It’s okay, Jeno.” You smiled, pecking his lips. “I can manage.”

Outfits are an important part in musical theatre. They distinguish which character is which, even if the actor is an understudy. You were casted as Regina George in the musical remake of the hit movie, Mean Girls. The director and costume head requested you wear a crop top and skirt for the role and you said yes; after all, you liked really girly outfits. You were looking over your closet and picked out items that might fit the role. You tried on an outfit that you think was a good combination. You looked at yourself in the mirror and felt a slight wave of worry come across your chest. Jeno’s fans might see your show. What would they think if they saw your body was no match to any female idol that Jeno has interacted with? You walked over to your phone and searched up healthy diets for a good figure.

Jeno had a day off and he wanted to see you practice your songs. You both sat at the couch of your small apartment with lyrics sheet in front of you.

“I wanna have pizza for lunch. What kind do you want?” He asked, fishing his phone out of his pocket to order.

“Oh nothing, I’m kinda watching my figure.” You said, looking down to avoid his eyes. You’re still not comfortable in telling people about your diet, especially to Jeno.

“Are you sure? You can burn those off in work outs anyway.” he said, concern washing over his eyes. It worried him that you weren’t eating. Food was one of the things you both bonded over. You had a fancy palette. He thought it was best to trust in you for now.

“I promise. Olivia makes very good hearty meals. I will eat dinner later.” You said.

With so much going on between theatre and your college life, there is only so much you could do in your free time. Working out would take so much of time and with deadlines as the semester is ending, you couldn’t find any time for it. So, you resulted in skipping meals. You only had two more weeks until the Mean Girls show. You just had to make sure your stomach was flat till the end of the production.

“Do you think my cheeks are too full?” You said to Jeno, squishing your face in front of the mirror.

“I think they suit you.” He said before pinching your cheeks. “It’s also really fun to squish.”

“Ouch,” You chuckled before playfully slapping his wrists away.

“You don’t have to worry about them.” He said, wrapping his arms around you. “They make you who you are.”

“That’s very cheesy, babe,” You said while chuckling.

“Y/N, you don’t have to change because other people wants you to.” He replied, more serious this time. “I’ll make sure you believe that you’re the prettiest girl that I’ve ever seen.”

You were stuck with a question on your Physics quiz. You hadn’t eaten anything since you woke up. While you were standing in front of your mirror, you liked how flat your stomach was. The first show happens tomorrow night and you planned on keeping your body that way until then. The lack of food in your system resulted in your brain not working well. You spent many sleepless nights studying for Physics. Usually, you would have solved this problem in under 5 minutes but right now, you only had a minute left in your quiz and you just can’t seem to figure out what to do. On top of that, you were feeling very light-headed. The ding of your professor’s alarm struck a sharp pain from your ears to your head. You winced as you struggled to stand up. Your seatmate looked over to you, checking if you were okay but you smiled it off. You also regretted telling Jeno about your stupid diet because all he did was bug you if you ate already.

jenobear [11:34 am]: babeee, did u eat already??

jenobear [11:34 am]: oops i forgot u have ur quiz. good luck, love <333

jenobear [11:35 am]: make sure u eat, ok?? I love you.

You sighed and typed out an answer. You said you already ate. You hated lying to him but him being overseas made it easier for you somehow. The night of the show came at last. You sat backstage as Olivia helped you with your hair.

“You look pale. Are you okay?” She asked, concerned.

“Yeah, just a bit light-headed.” You replied. “It’s not like I haven’t performed with a headache before.”

“Okay, sure,” She sighed. She knew you too well. You didn’t like to be bugged with questions, especially if you’re preparing for a show. “Wanna eat at that new wings place? Heard it’s really good.”

“Sure, I could need some wings after the show.” You replied. All you needed was to be in shape for a few hours.

The crowd roared their applause as you, and the other casts, bowed as the show reached its end. You felt a migraine creep up your head and you knew its because you haven’t consumed as much food as you needed to lately. It also felt weird that it made you a bit nauseous when your eyes met the spotlight. You were glad bottles of water is all around the backstage. You picked up your phone and smiled to see messages from Jeno and the other members as well.

jenobear [9:30 pm]: never not proud of you. congrats on your show, love. <3

Lee Haechan [9:45 pm]: Y/N!!! Congrats on your show. I’m sure it’s amazing!

Kim Doyoung [9:50 pm]: Sorry I wasn’t able to go, Y/N. I’m sure you did great tonight, Regina George :)

You smiled and thanked them. You decided you wanted to call Jeno but a notification from a social media site distracted you. One of Jeno’s fans came to see the show and posted pictures of you with the caption “Y/N is very talented! I hope to see more of her shows soon~~” You blushed at the compliment. You know you shouldn’t have but you looked at the replies under the post. Your heart fluttered at the sweet compliments. You thought maybe dating an idol isn’t so bad after all. Over the sea of praise come a harsh comment that caught your eye. “I’m sure her vocals are amazing but she should work on her body.” , “Regina George wouldn’t have a match stick figure.” , “she’s kinda bloated. If only she worked on her love handles, I would like her.” You felt a sickly feeling to your stomach. You took each and every word to heart. You scrolled back up to look at the picture the original poster took. You zoomed in on your body and saw what they were talking about. The girls who played Gretchen and Karen, your character’s fellow mean girls, had Barbie doll bodies. Their curves hit at the right places and they had slim legs. You knew that you shouldn’t let this affect you. You have talent, you have personality. But, you also wanted Jeno’s fans to like you. That led you to texting Olivia to cancel your chicken wings plan.

You prepped yourself to see Jeno again after 2 months. He had schedule after schedule and his team went overseas for at least 2 weeks. You limit your diet to soy milk and water. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you could see the changes. Jeno would definitely notice as well but, you liked how you looked. Your jawline was prominent, your waist was thinner, and even your legs got slimmer. It wasn’t easy slipping out of Olivia’s invites for take out and dinner but you managed, somehow. You started to notice how concerned she got each day, especially this morning.

“I grabbed you breakfast, it’s an omurice.” she said, with a warm smile.

“I can’t eat rice, I’m watching my weight.” You said, slurping down the soy milk.

“Since when did you care about your weight?” She asked.

“Since I realized that my body wasn’t in the right shape.” You made sure none of the words came out as bitter or else, she will suspect something was wrong. She didn’t stop bugging you and it started to make you cranky so you just gave in. After consuming the omurice, you couldn’t deny that you felt better. But the guilt started kicking in and the next thing you know, you’re sticking two fingers down your throat in an attempt to vomit what you just consumed. You stared at the mess on the sink and that’s when you knew something was wrong.

“I missed you so much,” Jeno said, as he held you close to his body.

“How are you, my favorite boy?” You stared lovingly to his eyes.

“A bit tired,” He said, taking off his cap and fixing his hair. “But I slept the whole flight.”

“Do you want to just chill here?” You asked. Everyone in the door went to see a movie with the older members. Jeno and Jisung chose to stay behind since they had plans. He snuggled closer to your body. He noticed how your body didn’t feel familiar. He could definitely tell that you were losing weight.

“I am a bit hungry though,” He responded. He wanted to see you eat. It worried him to the core about thin you were looking lately. It wasn’t obvious when you two would FaceTime but it was more apparent in person. He felt you shift slightly at his response. He spoke before you could. “Have you been trying to lose weight?”

“I just wanted to be more fit.” You said, your heart beating faster each time you lie. “I’m working out.”

As someone who works out to maintain his body, Jeno knew well that your body wasn’t a result of working out. But as someone who cares about their appearance, Jeno also knew that he shouldn’t jump into major conclusions yet. He knew how horrible the talk about weight is and he didn’t want to put you through it. Besides, he knew you and he knows that you wouldn’t lie to him.

You felt conflicted as you noticed that Jeno was becoming concerned about how thin you got. To make him believe that you were well, you agreed in eating take-out with him for lunch. You know what to do after, anyway. As you wait for him to finish showering, you decided to check your social media accounts. You tapped on instagram to replied to a comment Olivia wrote on your new post. You laughed silently at how your friends gave funny compliments. Your eyes browsed through the comment sections. Normally, it would be filled with comments about your face, body, and how you didn’t deserve Jeno. This time, it was filled with compliments about how great you look. “I wish I had her body :(“, “Body goals oh my god”, “SKINNY LEGEND QUEEN”. You felt your cheeks blush at the compliments. You realized that the thinner you got, the more you got full of praise. You intend to keep it that way.

Jeno scrolled through his twitter feed and saw an article from a k-pop news page. It was an article about your drastic weight loss. He looked at the pictures included in the article. There were pictures of you from months ago with your old body. Jeno reminisced the first time you met. You looked healthy and happy. You didn’t have the curviest figure, but you were healthy. Following the old pictures were recent pictures of you, both from your recent social media posts and pictures from fans during your latest theatre shows. Your ribs were more prominent and it created a tidal wave of concern to wash over Jeno. He didn’t realize how much he missed the old you. The one who was never scared to try different food. Now, it was like every time he asked you to eat with him, you always refuse. But, he was too kind to base a fight over your appearance.

You sat across the couch with Olivia. You two decided to watch the latest season of The Office.

“Wait, let me use the bathroom for a while” She announced. While she did her business, a phone on the coffee table in front of you lit up. Your phone was laid beside hers so you looked over to see it was her phone that had the notification. What you didn’t expect was who sent her the message.

You have one new message from Lee Jeno.

You didn’t know what to think. It would be immature of you to accuse them of being unfaithful when you don’t know what the message contained. But why would she text him? Why would he text her? As in on cue, Olivia came back from the bathroom.

“Uhm, Liv” You started. “Why are you texting Jeno?”

She stared at you. She knew what you would think but she promised Jeno she wouldn’t tell you about what they were talking about.

“Oh, you know what?” You said suddenly. “It doesn’t matter. You two can be friends and I trust both of you.” You tried so hard not to sound jealous because you weren’t. Olivia is like a sister to you.

You knew well that she wouldn’t betray you like that. She smiled slightly and offered you the popcorn. You shook your head and she snapped.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Y/N” She said. You were caught off guard by her outburst. “You wanna know why I’m texting Jeno?”

You gulped, maybe you don’t want to know why. You changed so much of yourself to please him, his fans, and his management. If they betrayed you like this, you wouldn’t know what to do.

“You’re starving yourself, haven’t you?” She asked, her eyes burning holes into your skull.

“I-I’m not…” You stuttered. You thought you were good at lying but apparently, you’re not.

“Really?” She said. “Ever since you started dating Jeno, all you cared about was your weight. We don’t eat out anymore. We don’t cook anymore. What bothered you? Is it him? Is it the fans?”

You know you could never blame anyone, but yourself. It wasn’t their fault you turned out this way. It was one thing to hear about your weight loss from concerned fans, but it was another when it’s coming out of your best friend’s mouth. You didn’t realize that tears were falling out. The moment Olivia wrapped her arms around you, everything collapsed. All the pressure, the frustration that built up inside of you for so long. The urge of wanting to eat, to feel what it was like to taste again. The anger you felt for yourself for letting it become this bad. It all collapsed and fell from your eyes.

“Here, there isn’t a lot of sugar in that,” Jeno offered you some cookies. You decided to visit him in the recording studio. You were doing so well. You decided to enrol yourself in a support group, as well, and you’ve never missed a single meeting. But you knew you were only forcing it. You saw Olivia and Jeno cry over your situation. It was unfair that you bring them into your mess. Maybe if you say you’re fine loud enough, you’ll believe it.

“I’m proud of you.” His eyes sparkled as he said those word to you.

“I love you.” You responded, before leaning in for his lips.

It took everything in Jeno to let you know how much he loves you. By the way his lips merge with yours and how his hands worshiped every crevice of your body. Each touch symbolizes that you are the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. You knew that; but, you wish you could believe it. With every praise that heat your cheeks, comes a wave of hate that consumes it all. Will a beautiful body make it all better for you?

You hurried to your bathroom the second you got home. Olivia was out to her boyfriend’s night, leaving you alone with your habits. As your fingers hit the spot on your throat, you felt the hot bile rise from your stomach. It burned and left a sour taste to the back of your mouth; and you loved it. You missed the sensation of your stomach being empty. You never knew how much you liked the feeling of being empty until you felt it again.

“Am I not enough for you” Jeno spoke, his eyes attached to his hands that are clasped in front of him.

“What are you saying, babe?” You asked. You tried to see where this was going. You made you sure every lie that came out of your mouth was believable; why is he saying those things?

“I try so hard to make sure everything I do for you is enough,” He said. It was obvious in his demeanor that he was tired. “I worry about you all the time. The members try so hard to cover up for me every time I needed to tend to you.”

You chuckled, “So what is this? You’re telling me I’m a pity party?”

“No,” He shook his head, not believing the attitude you’re giving him. Frustration was starting to let itself be known on his features. “What else could you possibly want? I give you love, I give you space. I get tired as well, you know.”

That’s when it dawned on you. Love is not enough. Love won’t come magically and heal everything. Jeno could give you all the love in the world but it won’t be the remedy. Love doesn’t fix everything. You can’t just go up to a broken person and expect romance would suddenly want them to dance on their grave. It doesn’t work that way. You never had the courage to tell him that. In retrospect, you wish you had it in you to say it.

“You’re enough for me, Jeno.” You said quitely. You didn’t know what else to say. All this time, you never blamed him. But here he is now, throwing it all back at you. You still won’t blame him though, he doesn’t know what it feels like; you’re glad he doesn’t know how it feels like.

“I don’t know how to help you if you can’t help yourself.” He said, sighing as if he has given up. Maybe he has given up. The people who left you before has taught you to swallow every plead to make them stay. That’s the only think you could stomach to swallow right now - the words to make him fight a little longer. You didn’t know how much long it would be for you to be okay, or if you could actually be okay. But, you knew better than to run after others when you can’t even stand for yourself. Some nights, you feel yourself drown in cold sweat. Your body felt like it could give up on you any minute. You laid still and wait; but it never came. You wondered how much longer.

Jeno has a bright future ahead of him. The news of him being single again gave him new schedules that would give him exposure to different opportunities. He didn’t regret leaving. He still occasionally see your musical shows just to check how you are. You will never know this but he hopes it’s always sunny wherever you are.

a/n: i hope you liked this. this hit close to home. i would like to remind you that if you are experiencing symptoms of any mental illness, please check with a professional. mental health is a topic that i hold deeply in my heart since i have experience from mental illnesses. i would also like to remind everyone to always be kind to others - whether it would be our friends, people we don’t like, and even idols. let’s not contribute to anything that could affect them negatively. as always, feedback and requests are always appreciated. love u all <33

#lee jeno #jeno x reader #jeno x you #nct jeno #jeno imagines #jeno angst #lee jeno angst #nct dream #nct au #nct dream imagines #jeno timestamps #jeno fluff #nct imagines

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xhanisai · 5 years ago

Text

Disconsolate

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A/N: ...you bet your ass I'm back not too long later lel~ I recently hit 3000+ followers on tumblr surprisingly (smh bad decision making you lot s m h) so here is my first gift? . . . ~(x)~

Grey? Windy? Rainy? Perfect. Marinette thanked the higher deities for once as she trudged her way to school, adorned in a stylistic but waterproof black jacket and a cheap umbrella in one hand. The other hand crept into her clutch, feeling Tikki's hand wrap around a finger to provide comfort. "Everything will be okay, Marinette," The little Goddess whispered supportively, squeezing the lone finger when she didn't receive a reply in response. The kwami understood the girl's turmoil; it has been a mere week after... After that event. She never voiced it out loud but Tikki was more than aware that this is the first time that Marinette has actually looked at the sky. The teen didn't need words to express her disdain for its usual, baby blue colour. Tikki squeezed the finger one last time till they made it to the school building.

~(x)~

"Girl? Are you trying out a new trend or something?" Alya's question snapped the raven haired girl out of her daze, fist slipping away from its original place in supporting the side of her head as she leaned against it. Caramel coloured digits pinched the grey fabric of Marinette's turtleneck sweater and hazel eyes twinkled with curiousity. 'Heh- curious like a cat, he'd have appreciated that thought...' Mari almost smiled. "New trend?" She finally asked. Conveniently, Mme. Bustier popped out of the class for who knows what so the rest of the class decided to chatter in her absence. "Yeah, what's with the grey? You're usually a black, white and pink sort of girl, no?" Then, a sudden glint of mischievousness glittered in Alya's orbs as she leaned forward to mock whisper in Marinette's ear. "Or- is this another plan to impress Adrien? Hm~?" She cackled as Marinette used a finger to push her back by the forehead, an unimpressed pout on the smaller girl's lips. "Not this time," Marinette let out a little sigh, hoping that no one caught her exhaustiveness but she might as well have been wishing that pigs could fly. Her best friend and the two boys at front noted for the umpteenth time how knackered she was. "I just don't like wearing white anymore..." Adrien, the ever loving eavesdropper, cocked his head in confusion and then asked: "Is it because of how easily it can stain?" He was met with a surprised jolt from the baker girl instead. She blinked a few times before nodding along. Though, it seemed like she was using his question as an excuse instead... "Really? That didn't stop you before." Alya giggled. "You wore that pretty white blouse when we went paintballing, that white jacket at the trip to that muddy farm, that beautiful dress- which you need to teach me how to make- to the chocolate factory. I could go on!" The boys hummed in agreement. "Well...it's going to sound silly but- I- erm, I don't really like the colour anymore." Marinette's downcast eyes trailed to her fingers which was clutching the desk in an iron grip. The trio took that as a sign to drop the subject since it's clear that they've hit a nerve. Feeling her panic rise inside, Marinette excused herself to the restroom speedily with Alya hot at her heels. Adrien couldn't help but feel useless and shitty right now. "I wish she'd tell us what's going on so that we can help..." The model exhaled and dropped his upper half against his desk, itching to dart out of the room and bring Marinette back in his arms. "Maybe she's just going through an emo phase?" Nino's unhelpful quip was met with a slap behind the head from his baffled friend. "Okay! Sheesh- why'd ya gotta hit me so hard dude!?" ~(x)~ Having seen many strange things in her life, especially since the dawn of akumas, it was hard to surprise Sabine. Yet, something as simple as this grated on her maternal urges. The bin in Marinette's room was filled to the brim with content. Content that's not rubbish. Sabine spotted rolls and rolls of fabric, scattered rhinestones and faux gems, cluttered pens and pencils and many more things. What stood out was that they all ranged from different shades of blue to white. The woman narrowed her eyes in confusion before concluding that Marinette may have mistaken her rubbish bin as her fabric bin again, taking all the content out and arranged them as neatly as possible on the chaise. She'll have a talk with Marinette once she's back from school, hopefully. Sabine may be a busy woman but she can always tell whenever her daughter is feeling low or acting out of character. A couple of hours later, she and her husband was hastening through an emergency catering order for some event, much to Sabine's dismay. A few more hours after that, it was past midnight and her daughter was sound asleep. Just as Sabine was about to leave Marinette's bedroom after checking up on her and kissing her forehead, her eyes narrowed at the bin again. The blue and white fabric and stationary she fished out was back in there again. ~(x)~ "Eh!? Where did your beautiful blue eyes go, girl!?" Alya's squawks in the middle of the park interrupted Adrien's and Nino's conversation and they both shot their head forward to see the girl tugging along a shorter one whilst leaning into her face at the same time. Adrien jogged towards the girls, leaving Nino to look after the picnic. The model couldn't believe his eyes. The sweet, soft, baby blues in Marinette's orbs were replaced with a dark, brownish grey pair. Although it suited her naturally, it hid her face more rather than making them as striking as the blue. The first thing Adrien would see whenever he saw Marinette was her charming eyes; it feels like he's searching for her now instead. "I'm just trying out new contacts. They looked kinda cool, don't you think?" She gave a little twirl, the skirt of her dress flared modestly but prettily in colour that could rival buttercups. 'That outfit would have been complete if she wasn't hiding her real eyes...' Adrien mused to himself sadly. No matter how beautiful she looked, Marinette simply didn't look as fleshed out and vibrant with eyes like that. Or maybe it was the fake, polite smile she had plastered on her face. "Meh- I personally love the blue, you have the prettiest eye colour I've ever seen," Alya made way to Nino, not aware of the way Marinette's smile dropped. "I'd have liked to see you with golden brown, like Nino's! Or maybe green, like Adrien's," The blogger gave a sly wink and then chuckled along with her boyfriend when Marinette scoffed and Adrien scratched his head in confusion. "Is she indirectly trying to say that it doesn't suit me?" The designer directed her pout at Adrien. He would have happily fought a thousand warriors to make her smile or maybe kick Lila off the roof a few dozen times. He didn't want to lie however. "I think she just misses the usual colour, Marinette," The golden haired teen smiled, letting his fingers brush Marinette's fringe aside gently so that her eyes aren't as shadowed. "You do look more like your maman with grey eyes," His fingers now lingered on her cheekbone. Marinette's heart hammered against her chest and butterflies erupted in her stomach. She internally prayed that her cheeks didn't colour, unaware that Adrien was hoping the same for himself. "B-But?" Marinette tilted her head slightly till the boy was fully cupping her face. He unconsciously let his thumb stroke the soft, supple skin a few times. "I miss your blue eyes too, they remind me of the sky," Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Marinette pulled out of his hold, biting her bottom lip with a dark, ugly emotion swimming through the contacts, glowering at the clear, azure sky. "Marinette? Are you okay?" Adrien reached forward again, hoping to catch her hand and apologise but the girl quickly nodded her head and forced a smile back on her face. He really can't stand that smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. Let's get to Alya and Nino before they abandon us to make out behind a tree or something again," She didn't wait for his answer and darted to their friends. She might as well have slapped him and that would have stung much less. Adrien's eyes shimmered sadly, making way to the trio. As he mingled and chatted with them, he kept a careful eye on Marinette. He noted her subdued actions. He noted her watered down expressions. He noted her fake smiles. He vowed to get to the bottom of it. He'll do anything to make her feel happy again. ~(x)~ Ladybug stared at her reflection with disgust. The moonless, pitch black sky made her figure seem sleeker and mysterious. The golden lights from nearby buildings and street lamps gave an illusion of glitter in her hair. The chill of the summer wind pinkened her sensitive lips into a plump, kissable colour. Yet all that Ladybug could do was grimace at her reflection at a nearby window on the roof she was perched on and claw at her cheek with one hand. White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes- "Buginette?" The sound of Chat Noir's voice brought the heroine back to reality like gasp of fresh air. She immediately whisked her body around to face him, drinking in the sight of her beloved partner. Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes. "Why were you clawing at your face like that, My Lady?" He was suddenly close, grasping her hand away from her cheek which was reddened from all the scratching. He scowled at the marks, using his other hand to rub them away. A notion that reminded her of another green eyed, tan skinned boy. "I was just thinking..." She lied. Ladybug pretended to ignore the irritated twitch of Noir's cat ears and the snap of his tail slashing against the roof tiles. The teen clad in black squeezed her hand firmly; a body gesture she's come to recognise after so long. He's not letting her go. "I've been watching you for the past few minutes, Bug," Though his tone was smooth, his eyes were acidic. "Muttering about something alongside of 'disgusting'...?" He brought her hand to his lips, kissing the inside of her wrist but never leaving the appendage. His next few words were mumbled against the skin. "I hope you weren't talking about yourself..." Ladybug wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to tell him everything. Of how a sole, childish mistake of hers... Cost them everything. Including him. Especially him. But she can't. "I wasn't, silly Chaton," This time, when she leaned into his touch and delivered a small smile, Chat Noir was reminded of his wonderful classmate. The two most important women in his life are suffering and they're not letting him in to help. It really pissed him off. "The truth, please," He breathed against her wrist, digging his other hand through her hair. One ribbon came undone and fluttered away with the breeze as his claws combed through the inky tendrils. The other ribbon joined its sister without much prompting- perhaps obeying the wishes of the miraculous holders and let the hair fall free. Chat Noir fell in love all over again. Ladybug never wanted to cry more now than ever. She couldn't stand seeing such affection in his eyes, knowing that it brought him to his doom at one point in a future. A future that she's prevented. A future that could still happen. "I just really, really hate the colour blue." Tears sprang out of her eyes without permission, forcing her to hide her face into Chat's chest and cry silently. The boy pushed away his disorientation and questions, arms encasing her against him as if he's protecting her. His chin rested on Ladybug's head as he squeezed her tight, hoping that it comforted her even if it was just a smidge. Because it's more help he's done today for the girls than he's done for the past week. That night, patrol was cancelled. Ladybug slipped away from his arms with a quiet goodbye, tracing the brow of his mask with her thumb and melancholy written all over her face. She swung away without another word. Chat Noir was left alone. Until, a familiar ribbon swept through the breeze and landed on his shoulder. With a gentleness that juxtaposed his deadly claws, the boy collected the magical fabric with his fingers, twirling it absentmindedly. Noir brought the ribbon to his lips, kissing it as lightly as if it's made out of glass. Suddenly, clarity hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes dilated as every single puzzle piece finally clicked in his mind. Every interaction, every presence, every feeling, every smile, all made sense! "Marinette..." ~(x)~ She knew that this was wrong. That this was dangerous. She knew exactly what the consequences were in the future. Again, her dilemma was kicked away by another delectable kiss. God, she was so selfish! The cat didn't care though. Chat Noir parted her lips with his once more, relishing the taste of her bruised, swollen but sweet lips, tracing the rims with his tongue before slipping it inside. His gloved hands explored her torso modestly but lovingly, in a dance that they've tangoed too many times to count. Marinette's hair was loose and fanned against her pillow. The girl in question was clad in her pyjamas whilst the boy straddled her in his armour. His hands were clasping hers one more time as they parted for a brief moment and tilted their heads ever so slightly for a better angle before resuming back into their kiss. It was like every teen's deepest, darkest dreams. To have their loved one sneak into their bed and kiss them senseless till the early morning. To have sweet nothings whispered into their ear whilst surrounded by their arms. To have their necks marked with memories and promises and have it tingle throughout the rest of the day whilst hiding the evidence with a scarf. Marinette is not an ordinary teen. Neither is Chat Noir. Reality and logic came storming back into her mind, forcing Marinette to pull away from the kiss. Chat kissed his teeth in disapproval before deciding to target her shoulder as she lectures them about their duties for the millionth time. He was getting real sick of that crap. His annoyance was indisputable from the numerous love bites he's left on her body. "Chat...please...we shouldn't..." Marinette gasped out as the boy peppered her with kisses. "Why?" His lips were trailing the shell of her ear now. "Why do you always try and push me away, My Lady?" Her gasps were now more pronounced as Chat skimmed his teeth against the lobe gingerly. "I just want to make you happy..." His voice was barely above a whisper now. Clearing her throat and willing her heart to calm down, Marinette propped herself up on her elbows and flashed a look at Chat. Her 'Business means business' face which Chat has dubbed it as. The cat boy merely sat up, still having her pinned on the bed and had both her hands in his. This time, Tikki joined the duo from her hiding space, plopping herself on top of Marinette's shoulder. "It's bad enough that we're hiding all of this from Master Fu," Tikki began. She wasn't exactly reprimanding them but she also wasn't fond of the affair either. "But the fact that you know each others identities is unsafe-" "Tikki!" Marinette cut the Goddess off with a hiss. Chat Noir couldn't believe his ears and he leaned forward, hope bubbling in his eyes. "I knew it...I knew you found out," A broken laugh escaped him as he kissed her hands repeatedly. "You've been flashing those eyes at me...at civilian me, because you know! You've lingered closer to me...you, oh my God- I knew I wasn't going crazy," He babbled so happily that Marinette couldn't help the guilt that weighed heavier in her stomach. Were they this happy in the other future before the incident? She wondered what it was like to be ignorant of the ice cold horror that was waiting to engulf them all. "Tikki's right, Minou. It's too dangerous," Hurt and bewilderment flashed on Chat's face and his grip tightened on her hands. "I love you so much...I can't bear to see you hurt," Tears rolled down his cheeks and hers followed suit. "Are we not allowed to be happy?" He sniffed. Chat lowered his forehead on hers, eyes scrunched close to keep the tears away but it was no use. "This isn't fair..." "I know...I know," Tikki felt her heart shatter too, cursing Le Papillon for depriving two of the most beautiful souls of a future filled with happiness. It just wasn't fucking fair. "Say my name...please...please Marinette..." He uttered her name over and over again, like a prayer. Chat's hands cupped her cheeks, eyes begging for her to spill. She'd do anything to get rid of that sadness in his eyes. "Adrien," Marinette breathed and cried so beautifully when the boy detransformed immediately. The smooth, cool surface of his gloves was now warm flesh cradling her burning skin. The heat of his body on hers increased by a thousand and comforted her frame. His cat like eyes were naturally back to human but familiar green eyes. No more secrets. "One more night...please..." Adrien didn't dare to open his eyes now, wrapping his arms around her body and ducking his face into the crook of her neck. Marinette sent a pleading look to the kwamis, eyes shimmering with more tears to shed. Tikki and Plagg gave her a smile before making their way to the Goddess' hiding spot. "Watch over my kid," The being of destruction purred. Adrien took that as a sign to sit back up, gobsmacked that their last selfish wish was being granted. He let out another broken chuckle, matching Marinette's heartbroken smile. "I love you," He whispered and then connected his lips with hers. "I'll never stop loving you," He pushed her back down on the bed and kissed harder. "I'll wait for you forever, always," She believed him. ~(x)~ He's always believed that he's someone who wouldn't raise their voice, no matter what. After all, he did inherit his Father's threatening, ice chilling, tone which he only uses to manipulate someone into doing something (i.e. getting corrupted rich men off his back, scaring Lila away from tormenting his Marinette, etc). He's been wrong before. He's definitely wrong now. Seeing a doppelganger of himself pop out of the blue in a stark white uniform with unsettling blue eyes and an expressionless face was already a major shock to his system. Seeing the way Marinette froze up on the spot and then collapse on her knees at the sight of him was another. He had to get them out of here and transform! "I told you...we could fix it all if you'd just give me... . . . YOUR MIRACULOUS!" ~(x)~ It took them twenty-four hours to defeat this akuma. The akuma itself was just a poor, little child who was berated by his peers for being scared of something. So, he in turn brought out the scariest thing that everyone's seen to life so that they could understand his pain. Not only did they have to hire Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee (a risk that they had to take), they also had to bring out Viperion, Ryuuko, Pegasus, Roi Singh and nominate the rest of their classmates to pair with the zodiac miraculouses. The battle was gruesome and messy with everyone else's standard fears. Chat Blanc, his name learnt through Ladybug's petrified rambles, took the icing on the cake. The white cat was loaded with infinite destruction and managed to wipe out the whole team save for Chat Noir and Ladybug. Ladybug has never hesitated when it came to fighting akumas and sentients- Chat Blanc was the exception. Thus, it ruined the dynamic of the team and sent thousands of innocents to their demise as the wild cat killed everything in his sight. It took twenty detransformations, eighteen passionate yet desperate kisses after being separated so long from their break-up, ten begging prayers and three tear-streaked faces till Ladybug finally listened to Chat Noir and got her head sorted in the game. Playing herself as bait as her civilian form, Marinette managed to catch Chat Blanc's attention, making him an easy target to cataclysm before that monster could DARE to touch his Princess. One cleansing light later, everything was back to normal. ~(x)~ "I'm sorry, Marinette, Adrien," The old guardian's grave words felt like a punch into the duo's guts. This was it. They were going to lose their miraculouses. Marinette wasn't surprised- it was her fault after all. This doesn't mean that Adrien should be punished as well! He did nothing wrong- "I'm sorry for not preparing and training you both properly," Fu's self-deprecating tone clicked the boy and girl back into reality and they gaped when they saw that he didn't make a move to take back the miraculous boxes. "I-I thought...that you'd take them away..." Marinette spoke bravely. She was met with a kind smile from the old man instead who shook his head and beckoned her and Adrien to slip the jewellery on without hesitation. His brown eyes crinkled with delight as they rejoiced with their kwamis. "But...why?" Adrien whispered, tempting to pinch himself because he's never this lucky. "We've been hiding in secrecy for so long...you said you'd take our miraculous away if we...told each other..." "Yes, a terrible decision from a man who made terrible choices in the past." Fu sighed. "I've noticed when you've started to suspect, Adrien," The blonde in question froze in his seat. "I knew that a reveal was inevitable sooner or later considering how close you both are in and out of the mask...in all combinations," The guardian smirked at the way the two stiffened from his choice of words. Clearly they weren't as sneaky as they thought when Marinette and Chat Noir had their...moments. "I also noticed how off you were when Bunnix took you away, Marinette," Adrien instinctively clasped her hand with his, hoping he'd provide her with some warmth. It took a while but he managed to coax out of her of what happened and soon, everything made sense. With the help of their kwamis, he managed to get rid of the guilt out of her system because honestly, she did NOTHING wrong. "You two are the only ones fit of handling the mantle of the Ladybug and Black Cat. You've defeated a being capable of infinite destruction, twice in your case Marinette. You have both grown stronger with the knowledge of each others identities and have gained such strong loyalty from not only Tikki and Plagg but also all the other kwamis. I am so sorry for burdening you both with secrecy but believe me, I only had the best intentions. Will you forgive me?" Marinette and Adrien were crying with joy now, the latter blowing his nose into a handkerchief much to Plagg's disgust, causing everyone else in the room to laugh. Finally, their souls seemed lighter than ever. ~(x)~ "Oh? That's an interesting choice of colour today," Adrien laughed, not wasting any time to give Marinette a twirl so that the skirt of the dress flared like a blooming flower. The girl giggled before landing on his chest and brought him into an embrace. The model hummed happily, kissing the crown of her head with a blush. He'll never get enough of Marinette and the way she gets his heart racing. "I think it's about time I prove to Nino that I'm not going through an emo phase." Marinette pulled her head away from Adrien's chest to stick her tongue out at the DJ. The bespeckled boy let out a mock scoff and retorted with: "It's either that or a Chat Noir phase! Take your pick!" "Fine- emo phase it is." Marinette sighed dramatically, smirking at Adrien's protests as she bounced towards Nino and Alya. She didn't get far as her partner swept her away in his arms, bridal style, making way to their friends despite her shrieks. "Ew. They're gonna be THAT couple. Alya. Bleach my eyes," Nino received a flick on the nose instead from his girlfriend who was busy taking millions of photos for her 'adrinette' album. "After all that slow burning, months of pining, I expect nothing less of my children," Alya harrumphed and then sped towards Marinette to see her latest dress up close. Judging from the way she squealed and the next ten million pictures she took, Alya loved the garment. "I could make you one?" Marinette offered. She tried to get down to her feet but Adrien wouldn't budge, only clutching her closer to him as he whistled innocently. He could be so clingy sometimes! "Me? No way! I can never pull it off like you do! That cool gradient of blue and white and those blue ribbons and SHOES! Ugh Marinette- you're just so fucking pretty, marry me already!" Alya playfully clasped her hands with Marinette's, both girls enjoying the way Adrien's eyebrow twitched at their over-affectionate actions. "Haha- no. I'm not sharing my girl," "Haven't you heard, Adrien? It's hoes before bros." Marinette finally jumped out of his arms which loosened from bafflement and skipped away with Alya hooked in one arm. Nino cackled when Adrien finally came to, muttering about how girls will be the death of him as he made way to the trio. It feels like it's been years since they've had a picnic at this spot in the park. Marinette couldn't help but sigh blissfully. This whole month has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Now? She's got the love of her life and kick-ass but adorable partner lying on her lap with her fingers curling through his blonde locks. Master Fu has stepped up as a mentor for both her and Adrien (although going through numerous locations to ensure his safety was a pain and a half). "The sky's so pretty," Adrien murmured, bringing Marinette back out of her daydreams. She blinked owlishly at him a few times before raising a brow. "How can you see the sky if you're looking at me?" "No, I'm looking at the sky," His hand suddenly reached up, fondling the skin below her eye and his thumb stroked the smooth arch of her brow. "See?" He then leaned up, pulling her in for a soft kiss before lying back down with a content smile, regardless of the way Marinette's face exploded in red. "OH MY GOD THAT IS CHEESY! I BET YOU ALYA, THEY'LL RUN AWAY TO ENGLAND AND GET MARRIED AT SIXTEEN! I BET YOU FIFTY EUROS!" "Top ten reasons to why I should hit Nino has now been updated to top twenty, note that down please Cesaire?" The model growled whilst everyone else giggled. Marinette smiled at her love and then smiled at the sky. White and blue isn't so bad after all... . . . ~(x)~ A/N: It's almost six in the morning, I have to get to class in three hours. Fuck. I'll spellcheck and all that stuff tomorrow. Thank you for reading!

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alexiethymia · 5 years ago

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post-canon souma x erina headcanons

(because there is absolutely no way they aren’t AT LEAST dating by that point. heck if tsukuda hadn’t said he planned for them to be married, I would’ve thought they had been since I don’t see either of them changing their last names)

POINT

he calls her first out of absolutely anyone he knows when he comes back home and from erina’s dialogue they’ve had this practice for quite a while, literally an ldr right there folks

it seems the usual thing is that erina arrives earlier than him to yukihira and that she waits inside for him so that means she’s the one who usually opens up the diner; that’s right it looks like she’s even been given keys to yukihira’s! if that doesn’t scream domesticity, I don’t know what does

the familiarity between erina and grandfather; the way he calls her erina-chan or how he leaves it to her to tell ‘the boys’ where he’ll be, and just how he speaks to her as if already seeing her as a granddaughter-in-law

that whole reunion! so soft, after both their inner monologues, and just for them alone. the ‘i’m home’ on souma’s part and the ‘welcome home’ on erina’s part and how erina is probably always the first to welcome him home since he calls her first and ‘home’ for them doesn’t just mean ‘japan’ but coming home to ‘yukihira’s’ and even better coming home to ‘her’ waiting at the place he calls home. THE DOMESTICITY I CANNOT. THEY ARE LITERALLY HUSBAND AND WIFE MATERIAL.

THE PARALLELS. erina as saiba and souma as tamako.

it’s actually souma’s inner monologue that convinces me. what his dad and asahi said has already been on his mind for a while and in this chapter it’s already solidified into an absolute certainty, the ‘forever’ is what clinches it to me. he’s been dedicating his cooking to erina all this time after all. it seemed to me that it’s in this chapter that he came to a resolution that it’s forever, no-takebacks between them. wouldn’t surprise me that when erina finally says ‘delicious’, he’ll just propose there on the spot. headcanon that that’s why he wants there to be a lot of witnesses when he didn’t before because he could propose at any time. wouldn’t even be surprised if after this chapter he really did propose with all their friends surrounding them because of how he ‘swears’ that this’ll finally be the dish to make her say ‘delicious’ (at this point delicious has become code for ‘I do’ between them not kidding)

HEADCANONS (since Tsukuda said the rest was free to our imagination, and anyway he confirmed their romantic feelings towards each other already, so many possibilities and I hope the anime builds on it)

when souma came back from his first tour abroad, they were already about to graduate as third years; it was erina’s teary, frustrated face, as if ready to smack him (and she does) when she sees him again that puts everything into place for him

but he still doesn’t say anything

since he already missed a lot of his requirements and the graduation exam he was granted a special exam by the headmistress herself, beat her in a shokugeki in order to graduate; that high-stakes confrontation was just like them; I think he did eventually beat her in that shokugeki or in a shokugeki because at present it seems their challenges don’t consist of shokugekis but him just feeding her and he did eventually take over yukihira’s, that would have probably been enough to satisfy jouchirou’s condition

she still doesn’t say it’s delicious. not because she doesn’t want to, but because there seems to be something stopping her. it’s ok, he’ll wait for her to be ready.

so she becomes dean full-time and he becomes owner of yukihira’s but she invites him to teach at tootsuki often; he has this habit of his, pre-asahi, of when he was bugging her to eat his dishes but she’d have her hands full with paperwork so he just feeds her. just like that (you know what I’m talking about that blessed volume 36 inner cover). souma’s just like ‘say ahhh nakiri’ and erina’s just ‘?!?!?!’ but it’s more troublesome fending him off and fighting off her blush so she just. gives in to it. so it wasn’t that uncommon to see the dean being handfed with chopsticks by yukihira-sensei to make sure she eats (so hisako totally approves) while making sure this is finally the day she says ‘delicious’, while she multitasks with paperwork in her office. and that just fuels rumors among the student body and even their friends don’ know what the heck they are?? it’s just their something and they don’t really say anything about it, not like they need words when they have food and that’s enough of a language for them. and erina is still oblivious.

as repayment for teaching at tootsuki, souma invites erina to help out at yukihira’s and cheekily tells her she has to wear the uniform and that he’s the boss this time around. erina just scoffs. and that’s how souma’s grandfather finds them, cooking together at yukihira’s, and with how souma grows to look more like jouchirou everyday and erina’s short hair, it’s like he’s seeing a young jouichirou and tamako all over again. he’s a bit teary and more than a bit glad to be introduced to erina-chan.

souma was in for a surprise to find out asahi was erina’s older brother, as if the nakiri family couldn’t get weirder enough already. asahi does not give him an easy time AT ALL, always saying he was never going to hand over his precious baby sister to souma. souma just gets hit by dejavu and not a small amount of irritation. shokugeki battles are frequent. (asahi knows they’re inevitable though, his younger sister and ‘younger brother’, he just likes to tease and prolong it); the lines in the nakiri family are pretty clear-cut, anyone apart from asahi and azami (like father and son) wholeheartedly approve of souma for erina (not that either of them know it); mana: what has you so irritated? doesn’t that boy remind you of yourself when you were wooing and already married to me? azami:..................; mana apart from senzaemon is probably souma’s biggest supporter in the nakiri family (even if he probably wouldn’t take the nakiri name) since she witnessed his devotion to erina so early on; azami probably weighs being saiba-senpai’s in-law versus having souma as a son-in-law. it is not an easy decision.

eventually wanderlust hits again and souma decides to travel to learn more and be a better chef. after all erina still hasn’t said ‘delicious’

for erina’s part, she’s sorely tempted to just finally say it, but apart from the fact that she’s nakiri erina, she’s also scared at what comes after, if finally saying ‘delicious’ would end this tenuous something between them. but at the same time, she’s tempted to say it just to get him to stay. but she’d never clip his wings like that especially when he was the one to give her a chance to break free from her birdcage (just as souma doesn’t take her away from what makes her a nakiri and has only ever pushed her upwards even so early on when he made her headmistress in their first year; I STAN A HEALTHY, SUPPORTIVE, AND INDEPENDENT POWER COUPLE OK). and always, always, no matter how far or how long (only a few weeks at most, because souma probably can’t last that long anymore) he always comes back home. to cook for her. to her. just like how saiba-sama always came back to tamako-san no matter where his travels took him and ANWAY WHY WAS SHE COMPARING THEIR SITUATION TO THAT OF HIS PARENTS?? erina is still in denial.

see, for his part, erina really is the best motivation because he can’t go back to see her without an outstanding dish that will dazzle her and he can’t not go back to her, so he puts his all to creating his recipes, the sooner to see her and make her finally say it’s delicious. it’s the same way erina puts her all to running the academy and make sure it’s not a disappointment to him when he comes back home.

the first time they say goodbye at the airport (because she wouldn’t let him hear the end of it the last time he left with just a note, not without a little hurt), she tries to be stone-faced, after being conspicuously left alone by his family and their friends, and he just says ‘see you nakiri, i’ll miss you’ and goes off without even hearing her reply which is just as well since erina probably couldn’t speak for how red she was. she swears she’ll kill him when he comes back for making her realize, because ah, now erina remembers a girl’s sleepover and love-talk and now she knows.

after numerous goodbyes at airports and ‘i’ll miss you’s and ‘next time for sure’s from souma, the day erina finally stutters back ‘i-i’ll miss you too’ is when souma asks to kiss her on the cheek (anything more would probably make her combust)

erina initiates their first kiss and souma’s like oh so that’s why they call it the ‘god tongue’

jouichiro and his grandfather give him a lot of grief about his relationship with erina since ‘could he hurry it up I want erina-chan as my daughter/grandaughter -in-law and grandkids/great-grandkids already!’ and souma’s like ‘she hasn’t said it’s delicious yet pops!’ and jouichirou is just dumbfounded at his kid’s stupidity and his grandfather’s just exasperated ‘what is it with you yukihira men wooing your future wives by stuffing them silly?’ the key to a woman’s heart is through her stomach after all.

after erina finally, FINALLY, says it’s delicious, souma’s too nervous to even celebrate - the ring? the ring?? where did he put it? - erina stops him in his tracks because she says to him with a small smile and a twinkle in her eye - ’hmphh I guess you’re no longer that plebian I first met, so how would you like to be promoted to my precious person? - souma recognizes it, of course he does, and of course she’s beat him again. he can’t help the blush on his face and doesn’t know who laughs louder, his pops or him.

at the wedding, erina asks him what now since she’s already said his food was delicious. souma’s there grinning manically ‘what are you talking about? you think one measly delicious is enough after how many times you’ve denied me? I swear I’ll make you say delicious a million times - no a hundred million times - for the rest of our lives.’ and erina can’t help but cry and smile and laugh through her tears. he’s always told her she was at her most beautiful laughing. there could have never been more perfect vows for them.

although I don’t think either of them will change their family names as I’d see them always support each other through their endeavors, I headcanon that after so much responsibility at such a young age erina would enjoy retiring at yukihira’s and just savoring her warm family time, something she’d desperately wish for when she was young and now has in abundance. she’d still consult and run restaurants but would probably leave most of the leadership to alice in later years.

souma and erina have a son as cheeky as his father and as brilliant as his mother. they have cooking showdowns with erina as the judge, but unlike tamako, she almost always declares their son the winner; souma: unfair, you only pick him because he’s your son. erina: he’s your son too dear and of course since he has the best of both of us; they also have a younger daughter who’s every much the tsundere erina is and as wild as tamako was (I DEMAND MY TWINTAILS SORINA DAUGHTER THANK YOU VERY MUCH); her brother probably dotes on her and they probably have the same relationship as soe and mana as well as asahi and erina. between the two of them, it’s their daughter that inherits the god tongue but she doesn’t want to be a chef and that’s perfectly ok with the whole family.

And that’s a wrap. Honestly, that was a better ending than I expected. For me, in terms of satisfying resolutions of shonen ships they rank up there with Ed and Winry, Kaneki and Touka, Medaka and Zenkichi. It’s that softness and the promise of more to come, them knowing and us, the audience knowing their mutual feelings for each other, with the knowledge that they will eventually get married. I have the anime to look forward to at least and seeing all those moments animated.

#soueri #sorina #shokugeki no soma #sns #yukihira souma #nakiri erina #ships #headcanons #ramblings about sns

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 5 years ago

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Back to you (Chapter I)

Summary: Y/N Stark and Peter Parker are unconditionally in love with each other, being friends for years was just the step before making it official. BUT, just the weekend they became official Thanos and the snap happened, leaving Y/N broken: without friends, avengers family or Peter Parker. So, she has to move on, at least that’s what everyone’s telling her and she really tries to do it and who better to help her than Harry Osborn. But, has she really let Peter go? What if Tony Stark -genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist- knows how to bring Peter back? And what happens when he does? Is Y/N going to avenge again? Who’s going to lead the avengers now? Who is she going to choose? Harry or Peter? and who the hell is mysterio? *He doesn’t even go here*

word count: 5.5 k

author’s note: This had to be SOOOO long but I’m really not feeling it like making it longer like I liked it as it is sooo yep. Anyway, this is basically just throwbacks because I think they are important to see the relationship and therefore to understand the impact? Next chapter will be brand new things with a new Y/N that can move on (not really) but we will meet someone super special.

series masterlist

You felt Peter’s leg behind your right ankle and you swore his eyes glimpsed with a little bit of regret as he swiped your legs from the floor, before you knew it you fell into the grey pad. You tried to regain a little bit of air that had escaped your lips as your shoulder blades hit the floor.

“I don’t like this game”, you groaned as you took a look at Peter who was holding you down by the shoulder.

Natasha was watching you closely, while Steve and Bucky were supervising Wanda and Sam. It was a normal Saturday in the Avengers Compound, you and Peter would drive up from New York in order to train with the others every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and on weekends. It was hard to keep it up, especially since you were still expected to meet all your academic compromises. But being an Avenger was an all-time job, you knew it and chose it.

“You were the one who wanted to train with me today” Peter shrugged as he gave you a sour look.

Peter had a hate-love relationship when it came to train with you, he loved spending time with you, but he knew that you would get frustrated with him: his spidey-senses always being one-step-ahead of the game and his super strength, plus the fact that he hated seeing you hurt. For that reason, he almost always went up against Steve or Nat, but from time to time he trained with the others as well -mostly you- if you were being honest.

“Peter, stop talking” Nat addressed as she looked down at you two. “You don’t have much time now, stop playing around”

You smirked as Peter gazed up to respond to Nat’s claims, taking the chance you quickly threw a punch at his elbow, quickly destabilizing him and grabbing the back of his neck, pulling him away from you and into the floor with the help of your knee on his stomach. Peter groaned as he fell into the floor while seeing you stood up as fast as you could and gazing down at him with a smirk.

“Come on, underoos”, you grinned as you turned around and began running to take the flag that was on the other side of the room.

It could be maddening for you training with Peter, but you liked it. Not only because it made you a better fighter since you had to find a way in order to surprise Peter who had the advantage of having his spidey-senses but also because you liked how competitive you guys could get -and also, you loved how Peter looked with his gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips-. It was somehow thrilling to be at that position with Peter, he was always so soft with you and still when training he was extremely delicate with the amount of force he used for each movement since he was scared of actually hurting you, but he didn’t pull back like he normally did and, for some reason, it gave you goosebumps only thinking about it.

Peter smirked as he used his web-shooters, pointing at your right ankle and then pulling it away, making you fall chest first into the grey pad.

“That’s not fair” You spat as you felt Peter running towards the flag, you glared at him. “If I knew we were going to use our tech, I would’ve worn my suit”

“Stop complaining” Peter answer as he ran.

Peter passed you with a wink as he giggled when you finally stood up, he began increasing his speed as he was approaching the flag, you frowned and began sprinting towards him, getting closer. You really hated running since you were used to flying and your usual training routine was combat fighting but running really wasn’t your thing, the only person who hated running more than you was Peter. He really, really didn’t like to run so when you lunged forward at him, tackling him completely, he wasn’t really surprised.

He fell the first face on the floor with a groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as you grimaced thinking about how much it hurt, still you couldn’t afford the losing time and had to focus on retaining Peter on the floor enough time for you to sprint towards the flag. Quickly, you tried to catch his right arm in order to fold it against his back, but you felt his back muscles contracting to give you enough notice to know he wanted to turn around in order to attack. Before Peter realized, you jumped high enough to avoid him pulling you into the ground like you’ve done, instead as soon as he had changed positions you sat on his lap again, while pinning his right arm with both of yours and his left one with your right foot.

He gazed bug-eyed at your feet on his wrist and then looked up to you smirking down at him and he felt hot by looking at you: your cheeks were blushed from the action and one strand of hair was falling from your ponytail, your chest was shining with sweat and your chest was moving up and down, covered on that black tank top that you usually wore when training.

“Like what you see, Parker?” You muttered as you gazed down at him and he couldn’t avoid the crimson red appearing on his cheek as his gazed linked again with your Y/E/C eyes.

But he could only remain silent and you felt electricity running through your body as his eyes pierced yours.

RINGGGG!

The alarm went off, snapping you from the moment and you stood up from the pad as quickly as you could, looking down at the floor and simply clearing your throat while Peter stood up, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

Nat walked towards you, a deadpan look on her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips while she observed you quietly.

“It’s not funny anymore when you train without completing the mission,” Nat told you as you looked at her with your arms behind your back. It was actually the third time this week you hadn’t completed the task and it was finally getting under her skin.

“We are sorry, we didn-” Peter muttered as he placed a hand behind his back while he gazed at the Black Widow watching them with disappointment on her eyes.

“No, no more excuses” Nat remarked as she crossed her arms over her chest while breathing deeply. “You need to stop this, or you will not train together anymore since you’ve proven you can’t leave your flirty banter behind”

And that’s when your mouth dropped as you blinked faster than usual while looking at Natasha. Peter, on the other hand, wished that the earth could swallow him right there, he wanted nothing more than to disappear.

“What?” You snapped in disbelief.

“Oh yeah, the sexual tension can be felt from the other side of the room” Wanda added excitedly with a smirk while her, Bucky, Sam and Steve walked towards you.

“Language” Steve stated while he looked at her while shaking his head.

“Oh my god, stop”, you muttered as you covered your face with your hands, rolling your eyes as Wanda snickered with Sam. “It’s nothing like that, right Peter?”

It was the only thing you could think about in order to let it go, but Peter remained quiet for a few seconds more than you anticipated. You spun around to see a red widen eyed Peter looking at the floor, he was trying so hard not to look at you, fearing he will get more blushed if he saw you.

The truth was, Peter had a crush on you since day one. When Tony Stark appeared on his house, without previous notice, eating Aunt May’s burn cookies and telling him that he was being recruited, he thought his life couldn't possibly get more twisted. But he didn’t know what was coming, he didn’t know that at the moment he would arrive at the Avengers Building, his world would be turned around by another 16-year-old girl, no other than Tony Stark’s daughter.

He remembered it so vividly: your laugh, it had completely pulled him out from his conversation with Tony, who was showing him around the labs of the Avengers Tower, he turned around immediately and looked around -he actually didn’t know what intrigued him so much about it but he just had this urge to know who it came from- he gave a left and then a right and he found you in the middle of the lab. Bruce was helping you fix some gadgets of your first suit, you had built it mostly yourself but sometimes you would ask Bruce or your dad for advice. Bruce had done a stupid joke about ‘what was popping these days’ and you couldn’t help to laugh at how hard he tried with those dad jokes he always got out.

Peter stayed there, watching you for what it felt like an eternity for him before you caught on that someone what’s looking at you and for some reason you didn’t feel panic when you saw this unknown boy watching you, but you smile at him.

“Spider got your tongue kid?” Sam snorted as he watched Peter, who couldn’t get a word out of his mouth and he was starting to get so embarrassed.

You felt your heart thumping on your chest as more time passed without Peter actually saying anything. It had been after about six months of knowing him that you actually knew you fell for him, but it took at least five more to admit it to yourself. Peter had actually been the first real friend you had in your life, you could tell anything to him, you actually felt like he would never leave your side and it was the best feeling but the most terrifying you had. For some reason, maybe mommy issues since she hadn’t actually been there for you, it was hard to let anyone in and hell, being the daughter of Tony Stark didn’t make it easy to let people in. Therefore, it was ten times harder for you to admit that you were unconditionally in love with Peter Parker.

“See what you did? You broke him!”, you barked at the others as you glared at them. “Come on, Peter”, you announced as you held his hand and started walking away from the others.

“I wasn't finished, Y/N” Nat yelled as you got closer to the door.

But you didn’t want to stay there no more, and you didn’t want them to insinuate more things that were making Peter clearly uncomfortable and hurting you when he didn’t reply, was it so bad for him to imagine sexual tension with you?

Six months later you would find out that it wasn’t true, that Peter was more than happy to flirt and have sexual tension with you, but it would all be for nothing because less than a week later he would turn into ashes. …

“Y/N, Y/N” Tony repeated, the sound was muffled by all the blankets that were covering you. You heard him rumbling in your room, cursing to himself as he might have stepped on some clothes or food. “Y/N wake up”

He was angry, you knew that he was, but the thing was that you didn’t care.

When you saw Peter turning into ashes, you really thought something had just turned off inside of you. To be completely honest, you didn’t remember much after it and you didn’t bother asking your dad when you woke up in a stranded spaceship. Nebula and your dad were trying to fix the ship in order to make it home and you didn’t know if you made it worse, you didn’t want to and you really tried to get focus on helping your dad but you felt mostly numb, it was like you were on a catatonic state, you snapped out from it momentarily when your dad needed help with his wound.

But other than that, everything turned dark, you were sure that if it wasn’t for Carol coming for you, then you wouldn’t have made it longer and the worst thing was that you felt like you couldn’t help yourself.

“Y/N I’ve had enough” Tony’s shout woke you up from your thoughts and you uncover yourself from the blankets.

You watched your father’s face contorted as he looked at you, you knew you didn’t look good. You had a dark purple bag under your eyes, the liner and mascara didn’t help much, and he could tell you had been crying -again-, your hair was dull and lifeless, and you were breaking out. But for Tony, the most upsetting thing was your eyes, how they depicted incredible sadness and it hurt his heart seeing you like this.

He hated it.

“What?” You muttered as you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hands.

“Y/N I’ve had enough. Enough with the drinking, enough with staying in bed three days in a row, enough with the partying, enough with the drugs. You need to stop”, Tony stated as he looked at you concerned.

You scoffed.

“I don’t do drugs”, was the only thing that came out from your mouth as you decided to look at the hour on your phone, but it was too bright.

“I know you haven’t, but I saw that little bag you have there, and I know you’ve had it for a while”, Tony stated in silence, his eyes were piercing you as you tried to look away.

It was true, you had tried to keep it hidden for a while now. When you were in one of your little adventures, those nights out in one of the clubs still working after the snap, someone had handed them to you and you had been drunk enough just to place them in your back pocket. When you woke up and you saw them, you immediately knew you had to throw them away, but you simply didn’t, you didn’t want to think why.

You remained silent.

“The thing is, Y/N, I used to know you would never use them but now I’m not so sure”, Tony stated a deadpan expression in his face.

It had honestly been a while since you felt like something actually hit you, that something made you react. You had been feeling numb ever since the snap and you had been especially trying to keep it together as much as you could in front of your dad, hence why you remained distance. You wanted to believe that he or any other remaining Avenger didn’t know you were that bad, you honestly tried but it had gotten worse and worse as the time passed. For you, everyone was trying to get past it, working to fit themselves into this new hopeless world. Especially your dad and Steve who were so resilient because of their past experiences that you felt like you were actually just dragging everyone down.

The only one you thought was feeling the same way was Natasha, but you ended up placing distant again and again because as she tried to let you talk, you couldn’t without feeling the urge to hurl. And so, you had built so high walls around you, around your heart and you simply tried to remain to yourself, tried to keep it together and simply carry your problems somewhere else and numb them as better as you could.

“Dad…”, you whispered, you tried so hard not to let the tears spill once again because your eyes were so tired of them, but you couldn’t help yourself. “I’m sorry”, were the only words that slipped out of your mouth before you began sobbing uncontrollably.

He felt his heart clenching on his chest as he saw your body trembling uncontrollably, once you let out the first tear, the rest followed like an unbroken stream. It was tough seeing you like this, he was so sorry you had lost almost everyone when Thanos had snapped away half of humanity and he knew you had it rougher than anyone because of your age.

While you were stranded into outer space, Tony really thought it was the exhaustion and grief and trauma, but that you would be okay as time passed, especially considering that Pepper had survived, and your little sister was on the way. But once you returned and you began staying more and more in your room, then you started sneaking out at night and then you simply stopped talking.

He especially knew it when entering your room while you were sleeping after you arrived at 5:00 a.m. he saw you watching a video of you and Peter. You were messing around that day at the MOMA, you were trying to take does “couple-like” pictures where you are holding Peter’s hand while dragging him into another exhibition. There was no way you were going to get over that easily, he thought.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay” Tony muttered as he began holding you, you looked extremely tiny as you let yourself melt in your father’s hands after so many months trying to ‘keep it together’ as you could.

“It’s just not fair. Wanda’s gone, Vision’s gone so is Bucky and Sam. Not even Ned, MJ, Betty or Flash didn’t survive”, you explained your father between sobs. “And Peter, we were going to be together and we wanted to do so much”

Tony knew it wasn’t fair and he still had nightmares of you crying over the ashes of Peter. He had lost the boy and it broke his heart.

“I know, this broke your heart in ways that I can only imagine” Tony assured you as he played with your hair. “And I know you got it worse than many of us”

You simply nodded in agreement, as your mind flashed moments when you were working with Peter on your lab when you were having training sessions with Wanda, when you went for pizza with the Midtown gang, but it was all gone.

“I always thought it would get easier”, you inhaled deeply as you tried to calm yourself without much success, “

And so, Tony shook his head and he clasped your face in his hands, so you could look at him. His gaze was strong and there was a little smile on his face.

“It does get any easier kid if you are ready to work for it”, Tony’s stated as he looked at you tenderly, “I understand it’s harder for you, you lost a lot. But there are people who lost even more than us. You have me, Pepper is here and that little monster on Pepper’s belly, she’s going to be here soon. You have a family here and we love you. It might not be the one you had, but we are here.”

And as your father said those words, with his eyes on the verge of tears but that also dripped so much love, you stopped crying. Your tears came to an end and it was the first time in a while that you simply stopped at will, not because you were too tired, and you fell asleep or because they didn’t come out anymore.

“I’m so sorry”, you whispered, overwhelmed but the new feeling. “I just don’t know how to be me, I’ve been feeling so off this last seventh months and I just don’t know how”

Tony smiled because those words simply brought him back to the cave with Yinsen when he first created Mark 1. Don’t waste it, don’t waste your life, Stark, he thought.

“You simply don’t waste it honey”, his voice breaking a bit as he pulled you into a hug. “Peter wouldn’t let you waste it.”

And then something clicked on you.

…

“You have to be kidding me…”, you spat out as your suit quickly materialized around you while you were walking out with Peter from this pizza place on Lower Manhattan you loved when you saw Scorpion jumping from one of the buildings, from the D.A. building and people were screaming like crazy on the streets.

Peter ran inside to put on his suit while he was cursing to himself, you couldn’t help to scoff as you saw how Scorpion was growling, scaring bystanders.

It had been a couple of months of Scorpion attacking New York and making you incredibly annoyed. You were in finals and Junior year was actually getting to you since you had to start sending college applications soon. Everyone, apparently, knew where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do, MJ was clearly sociology on Columbia and then she would go for Law, MIT was a no-brainer for Ned, Flash was actually thinking of taking a sabbatical semester to travel and Betty had been already taking classes on Yale. Everyone but you and Peter. He was actually as confused as you were on what to do: He knew he wanted a degree, but he also knew that he wanted to be a full-time Avenger like Steve or Tony, but he didn’t know exactly which came first.

You had been actually discussing with your dad your career path since you actually didn’t know if you were going to MIT. It hadn’t been pretty breaking it up to him the day before and Peter had decided to buy you a slice of pizza to make it better.

Well, until Scorpion decided to make an appearance.

“Come on out to play Stark, come out to play with Spider-man” Scorpion sang from the entrance of the D.A.’s office and his eyes gleamed with malice when he saw you in your suit, landing in front of him.

If you were being completely honest, Scorpion didn’t scare you at first but in more recent attacks you had been noticing that his suit grew more and more complex with time and now you were kinda nervous. He always managed to knock you out enough time to escape before you could get back up or before the other Avengers who weren’t on missions would come and help you.

“H.A.P.P.Y, please evacuate all the civilians from 35th street to 50th street. Notify first responders and also my dad and Steve”, you muttered as you crack your neck. It had been a rough training yesterday with Nat, but you felt more prepared.

“Will do, Miss Stark”, H.A.P.P.Y. spoke in your ear.

Scorpion laughed at you and as he started dangling from the first floor, you saw who he was holding with his tail, the D.A. was shitless scared being squeezed by the villains’ tail as a white cloth was wrapped around her mouth.

“You know Stark, Mr. D.A. right here didn’t think I could be more than an actual private investigator, she didn’t think I could become a hero, even bigger than Spider-man, hell even better than Iron Man.” Scorpion laughed as he licked his lips.

“Don’t flatter yourself”, you said as your suit quickly calculated which was the best move to remove the D.A. from Scorpion’s tale. “You really think you could be better than Iron Man? You can’t even reach Spider-man’s levels”

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment”, Peter said into the com as he landed on the building's window, crawling over the windows.

Scorpion growled as he turned around and watched Peter crawling closer and closer to him. “I’m a real hero, you freak!” He yelled as he lunged towards Peter, climbing the building again but being distracted enough to let the D.A. a little bit looser on his tail.

You smiled to yourself as you flew silently towards Scorpion while he kept climbing the building going after Peter who was executing a flawless gymnastics routine as he dodged every single hit that Scorpion sent his way, thanks to his spidey senses.

Peter knew each and every one of the movements that he was throwing and for most of it, he was avoiding his claws from ripping his body while trying to immobilize them with the web. But for some reason, they weren’t that strong for him anymore.

And he got a feeling that it wasn’t good.

But you weren’t paying much attention as you quickly and silently as you could take a hold of the D.A.’s hand. Always take a hostage to a safe place first, then attack the enemy, you thought as your mask quickly disappear as you smiled to calm the D.A. down.

“Hey Mrs. Beck”, you smiled as you took off the cloth and she inhaled sharply. “I’m getting you out of here, but I need you to hold my hand really tight”

The only thing she could do was a nod in affirmation as you smiled, and the mask materialized back. You flew a little bit farther away, while still moving in sync with Scorpion’s movements against Peter. You were on the sixth floor by now and knew it would get even risky if you didn’t execute your plan. Breathing deeply, you pointed your left hand at the Scorpions tale, a safe distance from the D.A.’s and fired.

Scorpion howled as his tail quickly loosen up from the D.A.’s body and you knew it was your moment. You pulled the D.A. from his tail and with your left hand you shot the closest window to your left, then as carefully as you could give the circumstances you threw the D.A. into the building, making sure she landed on the mat floor between some desks.

She did, she stood up as soon as she could and began running into the building.

“Okay Peter, D.A. is secure now w-”, were the only things that left your mouth as Scorpions tail came careening towards you, slamming into you and throwing you towards the building next door.

It was so fast and so hard, that you didn’t even realize you had crashed against several windows and found yourself into one of the offices of the next building. You groaned as you stood up a little bit dizzy and watched as Peter was trying so hard to stop Scorpion from coming for you, webbing him up as he said.

“Y/N, go!” Peter screamed into your com as Scorpion ripped the last web he had placed on his claw and had a few missing steps to crawl into the building you had fallen into. A sullen expression was drawn on his face as his twisted smile as he violently crawled closer and closer to you, the building shaking with every move he made.

You were right, he had gotten bigger and stronger.

“Fuck fuck” you mumbled to yourself as you jumped from the building and tried to fly as fast as you could outside the building, but it didn’t exactly go your way.

You jumped from the broken window as soon as you could, figuring it would be okay and you would get steady later but then you felt his strong grip on your ankle. You didn’t think he could touch you, you didn’t think he would but as closer, as it got, you got little to no time to react to his claws when you felt a sharp sting on your ankle and you screamed.

“You are dead meat, Stark!” He yelled with a growl as he held onto you, not allowing you to fly.

You turned around, ready to fire any number of shots for him to let you go but you didn’t need to because as soon as you gazed into Scorpion’s scarred eye you saw Peter. He was doing a chokehold on Scorpion, who was already turning purple and before you knew it, he had released you.

“Y/N I got you, go!” Peter yelled as you flew a little bit farther away, stunned by how quickly Peter had entered to help you.

But before you could say anything, you saw how Scorpion, with the same claw he was holding you with, reached for Peter and snatched him from his back, ripping Peter’s suit and painfully drawing three marks on Peter’s back that quickly gush out blood.

He screamed.

“PETER!”, you screamed as you watched with horror how Scorpion threw Peter from behind his back into the air.

And you felt your stomach dropping while Scorpion smiled sinisterly at the boy falling into the air but his smile faded away when he saw The Falcon flying towards him, firing shots while he made a run for it.

Peter was trying to react, to pull a web quickly so he could swing but the thing was the scratches -that would heal up quickly because of his power- had reached his muscles. Therefore, he failed and failed to really use his web-shooters and he was going to try again, one more time because the floor was getting closer and closer as the seconds passed.

When suddenly he stopped, he stopped falling into nothingness and when he opened his eyes, you were holding him. He smiled under his mask.

“Steve, he’s going out, his losing too much blood help”, Peter heard you said into the com, he was indeed seeing less and less. “I got you right back”, you whispered as you almost reached the floor where Steve was waiting for you two. /

You were holding Peter’s hand in the white and grey room on the medical wing in the Avengers compound, he was laid on his stomach because of his injuries. Thankfully, the available Avengers had come as quickly as they could from the compound, they still didn’t catch Scorpion who quickly disappeared when he threw Peter from the air and avoided Sam but at least there hadn’t been as much damaged as it could.

It annoyed you that he was still out though, especially after what he did to Peter.

You knew he was going to recover fast, by the night there would only be scars there and he wouldn’t be in the medical wing for more than a couple of hours, but you still worried about him, a lot. You weren’t actually ready to say it out loud, that you were actually falling in love with your best friend. It was weird because it started small, if we were being honest, you hadn’t even noticed but then it hit you like a cold shower and now you only pictured him with you.

“He’s going to be okay, you know that, right?”, Steve’s words snapped you out of your thoughts, you gazed at the door where he was with his arms crossed and leaning on the frame of the door.

You rolled your eyes, he had recently done one of those infomercials for the board of education and it had been ingrained into your memory when they showed your uncle on GYM class.

“Yeah, I know. I just …”, you licked your lips trying to catch the right words, “I just don’t want him to wake-up alone, this is one of those time where he was really hurt”

You nodded and swallowed hard as Steve’s eyes pierced you, but your eyes remained on Peter’s soft features, his eyelashes, his mouth, his nose… you liked to see him this calm.

“You know, Peter knew better than to approach Scorpion like that.” Steve said as he watched you from the door, “We practiced it a few weeks ago with Nat, he knew that he needed to be certain that the subject was weak, that he could overpower him”

Your eyes finally left Peter, watching Steve suspiciously about what he was saying.

“I know how to do a safe chokehold, you taught me.”, you let out silently, since you didn’t want to wake Peter.

“I’m just saying that if he did that today, knowing the risk that it entailed, he must really like you”, Steve whispered with a smirk on his face and you felt the crimson red growing on both of your cheeks as your eyes quickly focused on your hold on Peter’s hand.

“Oh my god, we are just friends”, you whispered back and tried your voice not to crack under the pressure as you looked at Steve who was smiling a bit. “We are best friends, can’t you let it go?”

“I’m just saying that he really cares about you and… it’s okay if you really care about him in that way”, Steve let out and you swear that if Peter somehow heard this conversation then you would probably die of embarrassment.

“H.A.P.P.Y can you lead Mr. Captain America to his room on the compound before I have to get up?”, you murmured as you glared at Steve who simply raised his hands and giggled as he began walking away.

“He really likes you Y/N” Steve let out before the door of the room closed.

You breathe a little easier once Steve left but you couldn’t help smiling a bit as you held Peter’s hand a little bit tighter.

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itzagothamcitysiren · 5 years ago

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Welcome to the Family

I somehow managed to wake up early and have time to post before work! This is very rare, seeing as I usually sleep until the last second lol. But I guess quick warning for the next chapter for some gore and mess up stuff? It’s not super crazy but people usually give a warning stuff like this (insert shrugging emoji, lol)

There’s a Web That You Have Wove pt. 6

Jason was pissed; he didn’t like playing the messenger boy and he most defiantly didn’t like playing phone tag. He was about to head down to get ready for patrol after locking himself in his room from the moment he got home from school, when he decided to knock on Halley’s door. He wouldn’t admit it but he’d been a real dick to her all week. It wasn’t that he was mad at her, it was more that he was mad at himself for letting what happened at the party get to him that much.

It wasn’t like anything even happened at the party, he just didn’t know what came over him. He was normally hot-headed but his fuse had been particularly short that night apparently. He didn’t know why he got so uptight when Halley’s friend joined them or why he just left to go off on his own, only to be annoyed when she invited him out with them. He could’ve just gone instead of wallowing in anger at the party still. He was going to apologize in his own Jason way later, with a bag of Caroline’s but when he saw her sitting with him at lunch, he just couldn’t stop himself was throwing the bag of food in the trash.

He was being stupid. He had no reason to be acting this why. Halley could hang out with whoever she wanted, it shouldn’t matter to him; it shouldn’t bug him but it did and he had no idea why. He didn’t even know why he knocked on her door, it wasn’t like he’d have anything to tell her. What was he going to say? I don’t like you like that but hey sorry I got jealous that you’ve been talking to another guy? No, that would sound pathetic, but here he was growing more irritated as he knocked again when he was met with silence.

Was she the one ignoring him now? That made him knock even harder for a third time only to be met with more silence. Without a second thought he pushed the door open, eyes darting around the room in annoyance, looking as if he was ready to start a fight. His features softened when he saw that the room was empty. At least he wasn’t being ignored, he huffed closing the door and making his way down the hallway. She was probably already downstairs getting ready for patrol, he figured.

When he did reach the Batcave he grew agitated again when he saw that she was nowhere in sight. He walked up to Bruce, who was already suited up and appeared to look miffed, as if that was anything new.

“Where’s Halley?” Jason questioned, looking around again to see if he missed her, the cave was pretty large after all.

“Out,” Bruce said sharply throwing Jason off. Bruce sounded like how he sounded when he was mad at Jason for doing something wrong.

“Oh, Master Jason, have you heard anything from her?” Alfred appeared, looking worried. “She went out with some friends and was supposed to be back for patrol by now. I’ve tried calling but it’s only gone to voice mail.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. Friends? As in plural, friends? Since when did she have friends? He knew about Dylan and Alfred wouldn’t look this worried if he was talking about the Titans. So Jason now seethed as he was forced to sit back on a rooftop as Bruce handled some low-class street muggers so he could call Halley back. Bruce had him text her before they left for the night and grunted when Jason hadn’t gotten a reply. Jason sneered at his reaction. If Jason had pulled this stunt he’d be tracked down instantly and benched but here Halley was a couple of ignored calls from Alfred and five unread texts from Jason later and Bruce was taking it easy on her.

Jason cried out in frustration when he was sent to her voicemail, after returning the call she just gave him. Why would she call him back but now not answer? He thought about chucking his phone across the skyline but instead he gripped onto it tighter, remembering where Alfred said she was supposed to be. Looking down at Batman as he finished off the muggers, he jumped up and started heading towards the direction of the bowling alley Halley was supposed to be at.

The closer and closer he got, there was just something in the pit of his stomach telling him something was wrong. He was afraid of what he’d fine. Who were the friends she was supposed to be with? His last text to her made the pit in his stomach grow. Why did he send her that? He wasn’t thinking as he typed the message and hit send. It made him question why he was acting the way he was. He kept telling himself he didn’t like her like that, but the thought of walking in on her and Dylan made him want to punch a wall.

He landed on the adjacent building of the bowling alley and his eyes narrowed at the sight of a pair of cop cars parked outside, their lights flashing. Robin jumped down, sticking the landing and walking towards the scene. The patrol men gave him a slight glare, the GCPD weren’t a huge fan of the new Robin and the new Robin wasn’t a huge fan of the GCPD. Robin looked away from them a noticed a woman sitting in the back seat, looking quit frazzled and crying. He tried to hide his concern, not liking the vibe he was getting, especially when he saw Dylan standing next to the other cop car talking to another officer.

Robin walked over to them, determined to figure out what happened. He could hear Batman and Alfred calling him through his coms, most likely wanting to know what he was doing, but ignored them. Batman would already be tracking his location by now, he’d be on his way. Robin looked at Dylan, noting how he stopped talking when he noticed the vigilante approach. Robin took the time to look over his face. The boy looked upset, distress written all over his face. Now the pit had completely consumed Robin’s stomach, but he still held his composer.

“What happened here?” He asked, looking at the cop.

The cop looked down at Robin, before rolling his eyes and answering, “Woman got assaulted, said some kid saw it and tried to help, but her attacker stabbed her with something and took her.” The police officer said, as if it was just another regular night. He motioned to Dylan now, “When we got here and started asking around to see if anyone saw this, this kid said his friend went missing a little time before the attack. The descriptions, even a bit hazy from the woman, seem to match up,”

“Your friends name?” Jason asked, hiding his worry. He knew who it was, he didn’t really need a name, but he still wanted confirmation.

“Halley,” Dylan stammered, clearly upset. “Halley Wayne. She just moved her a few months ago, she-,”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of her,” Robin held a hand up silencing him He looked back at the cop, “And the guy?” he jerked his head towards the car the woman sat in, “does she have any idea who it was that attacked them?”

“Nah,” the cop shrugged casually, “Said she couldn’t get a good look, said the guy drugged her so she doesn’t remember a lot. She only remembers seeing a lot of tally marks all over his forearms.”

“Zsasz,” Jason swore.

“Yeah, probably, he did just escape from Arkham.”

“Well thanks for your information and enthusiasm, keep up the good work,” Jason spat sarcastically, sick of hearing how relaxed the cop was with this information. He turned to walk away, clicking his com link to call Bruce and Alfred. Once he grappled up to the roof of a building he spoke, he brought a shaky hand to the earpiece, “We need to track Halley’s phone.”

The said girl had just been coming too, feeling lightheaded as she took in her surroundings. Her head spun as she realized she was upside down. Her feet tied tightly together by rope attached to beams in the ceiling. Her arms tangled below her, tied together by her wrists with duct tape. Raising her arms to her mouth, she started to chew at the tape, trying to free herself and not waste any time. As she took in her surroundings and escape route options she felt a chill and wasn’t surprised to find her clothes had been discarded, leaving her in just her bra and underwear. This had been how they found Zsasz’s previous victims before they sent him to Arkham.

She spit out a chunk of tape, going back to work at the thick tape stuck to her skin. This was taking too long, she thought as she felt the goosebumps forming on her skin. Her eyes traveled around the room, biting her nerves as she saw other bodies hanging around the large, dimly lit room. They were woman, all like her, tied up and dangling, except these woman were already dead. The stench from the bloody pools underneath where they hung made her stomach wrench. She tried to focus on her wrists, blinking away the images that already burnt into her mind. Zsasz liked to murder his victims by carving them up and making them practically unrecognizable. Halley would be next if she didn’t move faster.

The tape was thin enough where she could rip herself free and she did just that, making her swing from the motion. Her head felt dizzy, unsure how long she’d been tied up like this and felt like she might pass out again from the blood rushing to her head. At least the drugs are wearing off, she grunted before starting to swing herself forward to gain momentum. Heaving herself up, she tried reaching up to her ankles, anything to see if she’d be able untie herself. As she repeated the movement again she knew she was no longer alone from the sound of footsteps approaching.

Cursing, she stopped, trying to stop herself from rocking back and forth in order to play dead but her free hands would give her away regardless. Taking a deep breath, she just needed Zsasz to get close enough for her to attack. His footsteps got closer and she prepared herself to launch herself at him; even restrained like this she’d be able to at least knock him out. But he never came to her, walking right past him and towards another hanging body.

Halley watched with eyes wide as she realized one of them was still alive, the girl quivering as Zsasz grabbed her by the arm and bringing her face to his. They were inches apart as the girl’s eyes opened and began to cry. Halley tried pulling her legs apart to loosen the rope but knew it was pointless; she needed a knife. Zsasz had one, revealing it and raising it to the girl’s neck. He rested the blade towards the underside of her chin, pressing down and began slicing skin-,

“No!” Halley screamed, as the man began to peel the woman’s face off.

Zsasz stopped, the girl in absolute agony as the air met the fresh cut, blood pouring down the sides of her face. “Don’t worry darling, your turns coming up,” he said cheekily to her before turning back to his work, the girl’s screams echoing off the walls.

“Please don’t! Just stop,” Halley shouted again but was ignored this time.

She watched mortified and felt the tears already leaking out her eyes as the psycho skinned the girl’s face off. She closed her eyes after a minute, feeling bile forming in her throat at the bloody mess in front of her. The girl’s pained cries faded, telling Halley that Zsasz’s work was finished. She kept her eyes closed, not sure she could stomach seeing the scene in front of her. She’d seen and done many things with her father, but this, they were above doing stuff like this. She heard Victor groan, making her sure Zsasz was adding another tally to his body.

She didn’t reopen them until she was pulled forward and hands rubbing against her chest, sliding up to her thighs as she was sized up by the man. She glowered at the man as he planned out where he was going to cut her up first. Wasting no more time, wanting the man’s hands off of her, she slammed her head forward, hitting his with a smack. He grunted, holding his head as he stepped back. She reached out for him, landing a punch against his cheek, causing him to stumble back some more.

He held his jaw with a laugh, “I see you’ve gotten out of your restraints, no matter, I have more.” He walked over to his little supply area and grabbed another roll of duct tape. As he got closer to her again, she swung again and he was forced to back up. “I thought you were just being stupid back in that alley, but you really like to fight now don’t you?”

Victor Zsasz moved back to his supplies, taking the syringe he used on her earlier. The drug he used to knock her out the first time should’ve lasted longer but it was no matter, he’d give her more. She’d put up a fight in the alley but once she was stabbed with this stuff she was out like a light in a matter of seconds.

He approached her again knife in one hand and syringe in the other. She flared about trying to knock them out of his hands. She succeeded in grabbing the knife, slashing at him, but also left herself open. As she stabbed him in the shoulder he also stabbed her in her own. She cursed, trying to fight off the drug but between that and her already shaky head, she couldn’t help but let her eyes close.

#Jason Todd #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x oc #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood #red hood x oc #robin x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x oc #dick grayson x sister!reader #bruce wayne x reader #batman fanfiction #dc comics fanfic #nightwing fanfic

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magniloquent-raven · 5 years ago

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finished your buckleway prompt!! hope u like it 💕💕

modern AU + werewolf AU, enjoy

posted on ao3

Heather’s been dancing around asking Robin out for the past three weeks. Billy has probably had enough of her flip-flopping between waxing poetic and bemoaning how complicated dating humans gets.

Especially since he had ended up in a storage closet with Steve on his knees a whole thirty minutes after they met, and they’d been fucking anywhere and everywhere ever since. She’s getting sick of smelling salt and sex and Steve all over their apartment, but they’ve showed no signs of slowing down. Billy’s smug as hell about it too. He loves having Steve’s scent all over their living space, the disgusting sap.

Of course, he’s still being Billy about the situation, but at least he was getting some action in between bouts of what if he leaves me when he finds out angst.

Whereas Heather is burning through more AAA batteries than she can afford to. Constantly plagued with thoughts of leaving lipstick mark up Robin’s neck, teeth on her collarbone, what that husky voice would sound like wrecked and breathy in her ear.

It’s becoming a problem.

And the closer they get to the full moon the harder it is to be around Robin. The more she wants to just throw caution to the wind, bury her face in Robin’s cleavage and ride her thigh into oblivion.

But she can’t just do that, because they like the same shitty indie bands, and Robin’s rants about the film industry are the highlight of her day, and her laugh makes Heather’s heart do backflips, and…

She’s human.

Heather can’t just jump her and run, because she’s head over fucking heels for this girl, but she has no idea how Robin would react to the werewolf revelation, so… She’s stuck.

As much as Billy pokes fun at her, and lords his relationship with Steve over her, they both know he’s being just as much of an idiot as she is. The wolf isn’t something you can hide from a partner, not for long. Billy’s playing a dangerous game.

Then again, that’s kind of his thing.

Point is, by the time the full moon comes around they’re both miserable. Billy’s been moping around their apartment all day because he had to make a lame-ass excuse to Steve about why they couldn't see each other today. He’s been looking like a lost pup for hours because Steve pouted a little over Facetime.

Meanwhile Heather’s been binging shitty rom-coms on Netflix all day, wrapped around a sweater she stole from Robin last week. It barely smells like her anymore, but it’s all she’s got.

They’re not at their best.

The itch that comes in late afternoon, when the sun starts to make its way down the horizon, is almost a relief. It might not be pleasant but at least it’s a respite from being bored and lonely.

Around dusk they head out.

Putting on a pair of running shoes and shorts pretty much covers for the fact that two grown adults sprinting into the woods at night is suspicious as hell. Hopefully. No one’s questioned them yet, anyways.

Probably helps that they run on regular days too.

Heather stops at the tree-line and sniffs the air. Everything’s sharper than it usually would be. The earth, the clean, dewy scent of wet leaves, Billy next to her, a solid, warm presence, smelling like home, pack, friend, musky and comforting under the chemical scent of all the products he slathers on.

The wind picks up.

She sniffs again.

Kali and her pack are already here. Figures. They’re always eager to let loose, full moon or not. They get especially rowdy this time of the month.

Billy whoops, taking off into the woods with a grin. He must smell them too.

She runs after him, the wind in her hair, cool air needling some colour into her cheeks. It’s exactly what she needed after the day she had. Hell, the week she’s had.

Robin is, for the first time in weeks, not at the forefront of her mind. There’s nothing but the pull of the moon, the rush of adrenaline that comes with it. The thrill of the hunt-to-be.

She won’t be chasing anything but rabbits and her friends, but the buzz is the same. Without the crushing guilt afterwards.

“Always late to the party,” Kali chides when Heather and Billy crash through the underbrush into view. She’s standing in the middle of a clearing, hands on her hips and chin tilted like she owns the place. But her smile is warm, tone teasing.

Her pack surrounds her, grinning, as always, toeing the line between feral and friendly. If Billy wasn’t so relaxed around them Heather would be on edge. They’ve always made her a little uncomfortable.

Billy blames her upper-middle-class suburban upbringing, and...well, he’s not wrong.

They embrace their wolves a little too fully, every day of the year, always just a little lupine. All of them except Kali, who stays too human, even when shifted.

Dottie breaks from the group first, leaping forward and crashing into Billy. She’s tiny, werewolf strength be damned, and he barely moves when she hits, just wraps his arms around her to swing her around while she giggles.

“You stink, Spots,” Billy says when he puts her down. “When’re you gonna stop puttin’ that shit in your hair?”

“When it stops bugging you,” she snickers.

Funshine is next, slower about moving forward, more deliberate about his hug. Dottie re-attaches herself to Billy, trying to wrap her arms around both of them. It devolves into a cluster of the six of them, all scenting each other, hands in each other's hair, arms wrapped around waists, contentment rolling off them in waves.

Heather basks in it for a second, the feeling of pack. It’s soothing, like sunshine warming her face, like a tight hug from someone you love.

It makes the change easier when it hits, moments later. It’s not the agony it was when she was alone.

It still hurts. When there’s hair sprouting like needles pushing through her skin, gums bruising as her canines turn to fangs, of course there’s pain, but the ache is dulled.

She used to hate this part. The slipping away. Changing places with the wolf inside her and feeling it happen. It felt like being torn away and locked up in her own head. She fought against it every time.

It wasn’t until she met Kali that she realized— was taught— that fighting her wolf only makes it worse. She learned to relinquish control instead of having it taken from her. To sink into her own subconscious like a warm bath, relax into it and float away. Become the wolf.

She hits the ground panting.

Claws dig into the dirt. Running shoes get kicked off. They land somewhere in the underbrush. She can sniff them out later, they aren’t a priority right now.

A whine escapes her, pressure building at the base of her skull as the moon rises.

And then it bursts. Relief in technicolour.

She’s free.

Billy is beside her, breathing hard, a guttural growl ripping from his throat. Pungent, sour distress rolls off him in waves, hits Heather’s nose like a physical blow.

He’s always had trouble relinquishing control.

She nudges his arm. Rubs their shoulders together. Kali joins them, lays a hand on his back.

He relaxes eventually, agonizing minutes later, his scent softening back to friend. Pack. Good.

Around them Kali’s pack howls, pleased. Two of them take off, chasing each other through the trees, another follows, Heather listens to their footsteps grow fainter.

Then the wind shifts and brings with it a new scent.

Familiar. Sweet, smoky. Hints of spice. Unmistakably human.

It’s faint. Far enough away that she can’t hear the heartbeat that should accompany it.

But she’d recognize that scent anywhere.

Mate.

Her wolf howls, louder than it's ever been, drowning out what’s left of Heather and her awareness slips away.

The sun wakes her.

She blinks, eyes gummy, vision blurry from sleep, spotty as she adjusts to the light.

Something beneath her shifts.

Heather stiffens.

The sound of the woods around her she expected, the scent of dried sweat on her skin, dirt under her nails. But she also expected to hear her pack’s heartbeats, smell Billy nearby, the pack blending into an overwhelming but comforting blanket of warmth around her.

There’s only one heartbeat, pounding loud and fast against her ear. One scent. Earthy. Spiced.

And afraid.

Heather pushes back, scrambling away from the warm body under her, anxiety tying her stomach in knots.

“Robin!?” she squeaks, croaky from sleep, from the change.

“What the fuck,” is all Robin manages to say. She’s shaking, wide-eyed. “Heather, what— what the fuck!”

This is...bad. Very bad.

Heather can’t do much more than gape at Robin, her brain still trying to catch up to what she’s seeing.

She tries to remember what even happened last night but all she gets are flashes. The turn. Kali’s pack howling around her. The scent of smoke and spice on the wind, of—

Oh. Oh.

She’s always been a little overwhelmed by how Robin makes her feel. Felt it immediately. That connection. A desire to know her, get close to her, keep her.

It terrified her. That Robin is human, that she felt so strongly about someone she barely knew.

That she didn’t quite know why.

Well, she knows now. And somehow the truth is more intimidating.

Of course, her wolf doesn’t care about the risks. Didn’t care, when she sprinted through the woods to find Robin. To be near her.

She remembers bits and pieces. Robin’s quiet gasp when Heather leapt into view. The fierce protectiveness she felt when she smelled Robin’s fear.

Of course, Robin was afraid of her, so getting up close and personal trying to comfort her really didn’t help. Not that she realized that at the time.

She really should be worried about bigger things right now, but embarrassment colours her cheeks anyways.

Dumbass wolf.

Robin’s breathing is starting to sound labored, panic gripping her tighter the longer Heather is silent.

“Heather?” Robin says quietly, tentatively, eyeing her cautiously.

“Um…good morning?” she responds, grimacing as she does. It’s getting hard to look Robin in the eye.

“Really?” Robin laughs, breathlessly and without humor. “Really? Because I was supposed to be waking up in my bed right about now, and instead I spent the night here, not sleeping because I blind fucking terror isn’t a great sedative.”

“Robin, I—” Heather opens and closes her mouth a few times, still at a loss for words. “I’m—I’m sorry. Just— what were you even doing out here?” she groans, burying her face in her hands.

“Full moon ritual,” Robin snaps, “You know, meditating on— no, you know what,” she shakes her head vigorously, bringing up a hand to gesture at Heather, “I’m not the one who has some fucking explaining to do. What the hell, Heather?”

“I thought the whole,” Heather waves a hand, “Hairy and growling on a full moon...thing, was pretty self-explanatory,” she says sheepishly.

“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb, you’re no good at it.”

Heather blinks. Looks up at Robin, her flushed cheeks and the indignant downturn of her mouth. Despite the circumstances, Heather’s heart flutters.

She sighs. “Alright.” Robin raises an expectant eyebrow when Heather pauses to collect her thoughts. “We spend full moons out here to be away from people. Running on basic instinct around humans generally doesn’t end well.”

“Yeah, no shit. So why am I still alive?”

“I…”

There’s no way of explaining this and keeping her and Robin’s friendship intact. Even if the werewolf thing doesn’t put her off, you never drop the mate revelation on someone you’re not even dating.

Hell, Heather’s still trying to wrap her head around it. She can only imagine how it would sound to Robin.

“Just tell me,” Robin’s pulse is skyrocketing again, and she’s worrying her shirt sleeve between her fingers. The impassive look on her face is obviously fake, she can’t quite keep herself from chewing the inside of her cheek.

Heather watches Robin’s jaw work until she smells blood. “Stop that.” She lifts a finger to poke the side of Robin’s face, but Robin tenses. Minutely. Only for a second.

But long enough.

Heather drops her hand.

“I would never hurt you,” she says softly. “I couldn’t.” Robin blinks at her, and opens her mouth like she’s going to speak but no words come out, so Heather continues.

“When I turned last night, I— I know how this sounds but— I could smell you. You smelled like home. Like… well, the point is, I just… had to find you. The details are a little sketchy, I don’t remember much besides needing to be near you. But that was all it was, Robin. Even shifted I knew you. Knew not to hurt you.”

Robin’s heartbeat hasn’t slowed. Her expression is still shell-shocked, almost more than before. Heather’s heart sinks.

Her eyes fall, unbidden, to Robin’s chest. The visible pulse under her skin. “You’re still afraid.”

“I—” Robin clutches the front of her shirt reflexively, hand over her pounding heart, and then frowns. “You can hear it,” she says, accusing, and Heather recoils.

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it.”

“Heather….” Robin groans “This whole time you could hear my heartbeat?! And smell my— my pheromones, or whatever?” She buries her face in her hands. The tips of her ears are pink.

“It’s a werewolf thing! I—” Heather stops, face burning. There’s nothing she can say to make it better. No one likes knowing that someone can smell how long it’s been since you washed your hair, or how well you washed your hands, or exactly what you’ve been binge eating at 3am. It’s invasive. Took Heather ages to get used to it after she was bitten.

In fact, it still makes her uncomfortable. Enough that she tries to ignore what she’s smelling and hearing as much as possible, for the sake of people’s privacy. And her sanity. The walls of her and Billy’s apartment are very thin.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s weird,” Heather says quietly.

“Yeah. It is,” Robin mutters, muffled by her palms. She peeks through her fingers before dropping her hands into her lap. “Look, just… give me some time, okay? I need a nap. And a shower. And…” She sighs. Tugs on a lock of her hair. “Just give me a couple days. Please.”

Heather blinks back tears. She knows what Robin is asking for is reasonable. It’s better than how she could have reacted. But it still hurts, and a part of her that wonders if a couple days are going to turn into weeks. Months. If she’s just being polite and, in fact, plans on ghosting Heather the second she’s out of sight.

“Okay.”

Robin opens the door to her apartment with shaking fingers. There’s so much on her mind, though her thoughts are muddled by sleep-deprivation, foggy and unfocused.

Heather, hair loose and wild, eyes shining in the moonlight and fixed on Robin. She stopped Robin’s heart even before the revelation that there was something different about her. In the gloom it was hard to tell at first, but details started to stick out. Her eyes were glassy. Fingernails too sharp, jagged and curled into claws. She was barefoot, her posture was all wrong. Her hair brushed aside as she moved and revealed pointed ears, covered in thick fur.

And once Robin started to panic…

Heather’s reaction made no sense.

She has a lot to think about.

Like how devastated Heather looked when Robin told her she needed some space.

“Fuck,” Robin mutters, shutting the door behind her. Maybe a little too forcefully.

“Robin?!” Steve shouts from the next room. Before she can respond he comes skidding down the hallway and barrels into her. “Where have you been?” he demands, too loud and right in her ear.

He pulls back, hands on her shoulders and gives her an appraising look.

“And why are there leaves in your hair?” He pauses, and his eyes widen, full of concern. “Robin, are you alright?”

She struggles to come up with an answer that won’t sound like a blatant lie. And besides the fact that he probably wouldn’t believe her anyways, the whole werewolf thing isn’t her secret to tell.

“I. Um. I’m fine. Ran into Heather.”

You’d think growing up queer in a small town would’ve made her a better liar.

Steve raises his eyebrows. “Then why do you look miserable.”

“It’s…” she sighs, “Ask me tomorrow. Right now I need sleep.”

He frowns. Hard. Frowns with his whole body. But he nods anyway, albeit reluctantly. “I’m late for work,” he says, glancing at the clock on the wall like it’s personally responsible for his constant tardiness. “But I’ll call in sick if you want me to stay. No questions asked.”

That coaxes a smile out of her. His kindness still catches her off guard sometimes. Even after he moved to California with her when she got into uni out here. After she came out to him and he made her laugh, despite how terrified she was. After he got her through the horror of working at Scoops Ahoy.

She steps away from the door, clearing the way for him. “You don’t have any sick days left, dingus. I’ll be okay. Pretty sure I know how to take a nap without supervision.”

“Alright.” he eyes her carefully, “But text me if you need anything. I mean it.”

She nods, and tries to school her expression into something encouraging. He’s going to worry no matter what she does but she can at least try.

It doesn’t work, predictably. He leaves their apartment with a crease between his eyebrows and a lingering look at Robin before he closes the door.

“Fuck,” she mutters again.

Getting herself showered and into PJs takes longer than she’d like. There are so many leaves tangled in her hair she considers just shaving her head so she can go to sleep, and she keeps drifting off, lulled into a stupor by the hot water.

But once she’s comfortably buried under a mound of blankets, clean, warm, and so, so tired, she just lays there, awake.

She keeps replaying her and Heather’s conversation in her head, telling herself she should have reacted better, been better, not run off because...

See, the werewolf thing she probably could have handled. It’s ridiculous, and so fucking out there, but Heather’s still Heather. When she isn’t all wolfy anyway. And even that was weird but not a dealbreaker. She didn’t hurt Robin, just scared the piss out of her.

All Robin needed was to calm down a little to wrap her brain around it.

What she can’t handle is the fact that Heather, because of her fucking werewolf senses, most definitely knows exactly how attractive Robin finds her. Which is fucking mortifying.

Heather never struck Robin as the type to dance around a mutual attraction, so, clearly, it isn’t mutual, and Robin’s just been drooling over a girl who doesn’t want her. Again.

She needs a few days to lick her wounds.

Preferably starting with a goddamn nap, but sleep still eludes her.

She tosses and turns and tries not to think about sad, dark eyes. About Heather’s reassurances. I would never hurt you and You smelled like home, because what the fuck does that mean.

About Heather’s body curled around hers.

Needless to say, the countless times Robin imagined spending a night under Heather the context was very different, and the aftermath…

Robin groans into her pillow.

It takes her hours to fall asleep.

Two days later Steve has been reassured, Robin has gotten plenty of sleep, and she decides it’s time to stop moping.

Her decision to finally put pants on and leave her apartment is made only partially because she has to go to work. Really, she got to this point mostly on her own, promise.

She even sort of plans to talk to Heather today.

What she didn’t plan on was Billy Hargrove ambushing her before her shift.

She’s just barely tied her apron on when he comes storming in. The cafe isn’t even open yet.

“What. The fuck. Did you do,” he snarls, slamming his hands on the counter when he gets close enough, leaning forward to glare at her.

“Hargrove, it’s too damn early for this, what are you—”

“Heather, dumbass. Tell me what you did to her.” It’s not a question, it’s a demand. There’s a coldness in his expression she’s never seen before.

Granted, she’s only ever hung out with him when Steve is around.

The way his shoulders tense, like he’s ready for a fight, almost scares her, but she’s too busy getting angry at his belligerence.

“Fuck you. I didn’t do anything—”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Something clicks into place.

“Oh,” Robin narrows her eyes, “You’re one too, aren’t you.”

Billy growls, a little more wolf than human. “Yeah, you got a problem with that? That what this is about?”

“No, oh my god.”

“Then tell me why Heather’s been a fucking wreck since the full moon. She said you found out about her, and that’s all I can get out of her.”

“I… don’t know?” Robin’s stomach flips, and clenches painfully. She tugs on a lock of her hair. “I asked her for a bit of space, that’s it. I was going to text her today.”

“You better.”

“Alright, calm down, Mr. Macho,” Robin says flatly. God, he’s just the fucking most. She’d almost be able to appreciate how much he cares about Heather, if his wrath wasn’t currently focused on her.

He glowers a bit longer before retreating. Not even a goodbye, he just storms off.

Asshole.

He’s right though, she needs to text Heather. Who’s been just as miserable as Robin, apparently.

And hasn’t told her best friend why.

That bit of information niggles at her. All through her shift it lingers in the back of her brain, hanging back but always there, like the buzzing of an insect she can’t find.

By lunchtime it’s gotten so distracting that she’s fucked up five orders and dumped two drinks on her coworker.

Thankfully she’s done at noon, and her now very annoyed coworker tells her to piss off the second her shift is over.

She hasn’t texted Heather yet.

Every time she pulls her phone out she draws a blank. Has no idea what to say. “Hey, I’m done moping, sorry I hurt your feelings” doesn't seem to cut it.

She stares at her phone for fifteen minutes, motionless and completely at a loss, then sighs and tosses it on the passenger seat of her car.

Before she has time to question whether it’s a good idea or not, she pulls out of the parking lot and heads to Heather’s apartment.

It’s only a ten minute drive, but it’s plenty of time to second guess herself. And third guess. And fourth.

But she’s here, she’s doing this. She’s sweating bullets, but it’s happening.

Two flights of stairs later she’s staring at Heather’s front door, fist poised to knock, and not moving a muscle.

She takes a step back in surprise when the door swings open suddenly.

Robin blinks.

Heather’s standing in the doorway, hair loose and frizzy, deep purple shadows under her eyes. It looks like she hasn’t slept in days.

Her mouth is hanging open a little, and she’s staring.

“Uh. Hi,” Robin says. “I… can I come in?”

“Yes. Yeah, of course,” Heather fumbles, and runs a hand through her hair as she steps aside to let Robin in.

They stand in the front hall awkwardly after the door shuts behind them, shooting each other nervous glances but unsure what to say.

“I—” Robin pauses. Looks down. “Is that my sweater?”

Heather’s eyes widen, and she grasps the hem of it nervously. “Um. Yeah. Sorry, I can—” She starts to pull it off but Robin reaches out to stop her.

“Don’t.” She wraps her fingers around Heather’s wrist. “It looks good on you.”

“...Oh.” Heather’s lips curl in a pleased smile that sparks something in Robin’s chest.

“I was being an idiot,” Robin says quickly. Her heart is starting to pound, and she catches Heather glancing down curiously. “I—I just assumed that—” She closes her eyes briefly, frustrated. It’s no less difficult to put into words in person. “Look, you know I’m into you, right?”

Heather startles, eyes going wide. “What?!”

“You…” Robin gapes at her, “You didn’t know? I thought— I mean, all those things you said about… needing to find me. During the full moon. I— you got my hopes up but then…Look, you can hear heartbeats and shit! How did you not know?!”

“I...” Heather grimaces briefly, “It’s not an exact science, okay? I mean, I hoped you were, but you’re human, Robin,” she folds her arms across her chest, hugging herself, “I was more focused on that.”

Robin furrows her brow. “What? Why?”

“Seriously? Because all I did was cuddle a little too aggressively and I scared the shit out of you,” her voice cracks and her eyes start to look watery, “You’re my mate, Robin, I’m bound to you for life! And I had no idea if you’d ever want to see me again!” She stops suddenly, bites her lip as tears slip down her cheeks.

“Oh.”

Robin’s feeling a little like she’s been conked on the head. Dazed. Her brain trying to catch up with what’s going on.

She’s known Heather less than a month and apparently they’re already werewolf married, or whatever the hell mate means.

It’s slightly terrifying, but…

“Heather, look at me.”

She does. Looks up at Robin with red-rimmed eyes, and Robin’s whole chest contracts.

Without really thinking she leans down, and presses her mouth to Heather’s. It’s brief, chaste, but still makes her stomach flip and warms her from head to toe.

When she pulls back Heather sways forward, unbalanced for a moment, her eyelashes fluttering.

“I want to give this a shot, Heather. I… I’m sorry I freaked out, but I swear, I want this. You. All of you.”

Heather grins in response, bright and dazzling. It lights up her whole face, and her eyes start to well up again. Seemingly at a loss for words she instead chooses to launch herself forward, colliding with Robin as she wraps her arms around her and crashes their lips together again.

Robin staggers back a few paces but regains her balance enough to respond in kind, smiling against Heather’s mouth.

She feels right, wrapped around Robin, feels safe. Like home.

#robin buckley #heather holloway #bucklway #bucklway fic #robin x heather #robin buckley x heather holloway #a raven's writing desk

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paullahotes · 5 years ago

Text

What If The Legends Were True?

Pairing: Leah Clearwater x fem!reader

Summary: Leah hasn’t felt whole in ten years and nothing she does seems to change that

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: there’s some angst but mostly fluff!!

A/N: Listen, I don’t think I’m a good writer so bear with me this could be terrible! Let me know what you guys think of it!

When you’re five years old you don’t know what love is. You love your parents, your grandparents and other family but you don’t really understand it. Kids have crushes on other kids they think are cute and it usually doesn’t go beyond that because you’re kids and you just don’t know yet. A five year old doesn’t usually know what it means when their chest tightens and their cheeks get hot when their best friend hugs them tight. Is it embarrassment? Maybe I don’t like being touched?

I met my best friend one day over the summer when we were both five. My mom and dad had taken me and my little brother to the beach to play around. She was there with her family, she had lived in Forks all her life and finally bugged her parents enough to take her to the beach and La Push had been the closest. She introduced herself to me, having come over abruptly when I had first arrived and told me that we were now friends She took me by the hand and we were off.

The day we met we had made sandcastles, mine were not as good as hers. They were little and dumpy compared to her perfectly structured castles, covered in seashells she had dug up. We played for hours that day, the sun tanning me up and bringing little red patches to her face. Even with a small sunburn she still smiled and laughed endlessly and if I had known then what I did now, I would have known it was love at first sight.

Now that I’m older I know what it all meant. Looking back at every time my chest tightened and my cheeks flushed, I now knew that it was love. She brightened my day every time I saw her. Her eyes shining and a wide smile when she would spot me. Her giggle rang in my ears as I remembered how she laughed at everything I said and how she would grip my arm if she got to laughing too hard.

Just a year later and you couldn’t separate us. She had even tried to get her parents to send her to school on the reservation so she could see me more but they had said no. She came over every weekend and came to every tribe bonfire. We sat side by side, jaws practically on the ground in awe as we listened to the tribes history. There were spirit warriors who turned into wolves and cold ones that over time had started to be called vampires. She loved every second of it, we both did.

“What if the legends were true?” She leaned over and asked me one day. The two of us were only six years old at the time and both fell into a fit of giggles at the concept. We were both shushed by the tribes council leaders and covered our mouths with our hands to stop the giggling but we couldn’t and were shooed away to go play.

For her seventh birthday I knew I had to get her something special, enlisting my parents help I was satisfied with what I got for her. I spent two whole weeks with the gift wrapped up sitting on my desk, my stomach churning with nervousness. Even though I knew she would like it there was always a thought in the back of my mind that she wouldn’t. My stomach dropped at the thought of disappointing her.

“I love it so much, Leah!” she squealed when she opened her gift. Her big, round eyes that usually shined somehow were shining even brighter. A huge smile was plastered across her face and she kept bouncing up and down while her mom helped her put it on. The bracelet was leather braided intricately with a small wooden carved wolf charm hanging off of it. Once the bracelet was fastened around her wrist she pulled away from her mom and launched forward to hug me. Her arms wrapped around me tightly and she was telling me how much she loved it. My chest tightened as she squeezed me, my face getting hot.

“I’m glad you like it!” she pulled away and smiled up at me. Her smile shined brightly and I couldn’t help but smile back. She went on and on about how much she loved it, the wolf especially. She told me they were her favorite part of the story, the heroes who would always save their people.

“This means so much to me, Leah! I’m never going to take it off!” she told me that day and every time I saw her till she moved away she wore it. She made sure people knew she was wearing it too, always bringing it up and telling everyone how much she loved it. She even wore it on her fourteenth birthday and got sand all over it as we made sandcastles like we did the day we met. She built her castles tall and I helped her decorate them with seashells I had dug up for her.

“My mom says that the beaches in Maine are even more beautiful than this one,” she muttered to me as we sat cuddled under a blanket watching the sunset on the horizon. I glanced over at her, the setting sun illuminated her face a deep orange. Her eyes were sad, the usual glint in them gone. My heart started to pick up, my chest tightening as I realized how beautiful she was. I had always known but it really hit me as I looked at her then. Every part of me wanted to take any sadness away and bring the shine back to her eyes.

“I’m sure they could be!” I mumbled back to her, completely and utterly distracted by the feelings flooding into me. My brain was barely functioning as I tried to sort through everything going through my head. She was my best friend, I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I shook my head slightly, trying to clear my thoughts.

“I really love you, Leah,” She told me sounding sad. My breath hitched in my throat when she said it, my heart hammered in my chest. She pulled her body away from mine and looked over at me. She opened her mouth to speak again and looked away before she started talking. “My dad got a job in Maine so my family and I are moving. I didn’t know how to tell you sooner.”

“Moving?” I whispered back at her, sitting up straight. She was so small compared to me, almost by a whole foot. She couldn’t move away. What was I going to do without her around? Outside of school we spent all of our time together, our families even spent a lot of time too.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered leaning into me and wrapping her arms around my torso. She laid her head on my chest and I leaned back keeping her tucked tightly to my side. This was it so I was going to make the most of it.

My heart had been missing something since she left, nothing made me feel whole. I tried to figure things out for myself, making new friends and really involving myself in school. My first boyfriend, Sam Uley, didn’t even fill the void even though I did love him. No one that came into my life since she left has made an impact on me like her. I’ve loved and lost over the last ten years and haven’t found myself fully.

Things had changed for me though. A few years ago when my father died the grief had been too much and I felt like exploding and then I did. My clothes tore from my body and I transformed into a wolf for the first time. The legends had all been true, my first thought that I had, had been about her. She would be so excited to find out that the legends she loved so much were real. My mind went to the wolf charm bracelet that I had given her having now taken on a new meaning, though she probably didn’t wear it anymore.

I was at Sam and Emily’s watching them being blissfully happy with the pack. We had just eaten a huge meal when the phone rang and my mom was on the other end telling Emily to send me home right away because she had a surprise. I had no inkling as to what it could be but I phased quickly and bolted off to my house. I threw open the back door and walked into the kitchen, my mom was sitting at the table laughing at something the person across from her said.

“Leah!” The other person squealed and my eyes darted to them recognizing the voice right away. She was sitting there at my kitchen table, her hair longer than I had ever seen it and flung delicately over her shoulder. She jumped up from the table and launched herself at me, arms wrapping around my neck. My arms wound around her waist and we squeezed each other tightly, it felt like a whole decade hadn’t even passed since we last saw each other.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I accidentally inhaled heavily, taking in her scent. She smelled familiar, like home. She pulled away to look me in the eyes, she was even smaller than me now. Well over a foot shorter than me now. Our eyes locked and everything changed, my breath hitching in my throat. Every fiber of my being felt tingly. I stumbled back a step as I took her in, my head spinning. The emptiness I felt for ten years felt like it was being filled in. My heart filled up with love to the point where I felt like it would burst. Everything I had felt for her ten years ago was back but felt enhanced by a billion.

“I moved back!” Her words filled my ears bringing me back to the present. She was even more beautiful than she had ever been. My chest began to get tight like it used to when she came around and heat began to flood my cheeks. This time it felt different, everything was more intense than it had ever been and I knew why. The legends of our tribe talked about imprinting and how the second you saw your imprint your world flipped upside down and they became your world, the sole reason for your life.

“I-” everything I wanted to saw got jumbled in my throat, refusing to come out. She let go of my arms and stepped back from me looking upset. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it before she did. She looked back at my mom, my mom sat there and shrugged at her not knowing what was going on.

“I thought you’d be happy to me,” she whispered, her voice sounding so small and sad. Her eyes were shining but from tears that were building up in them. I felt the world crumbling around me for I had done something I had always been scared about. I disappointed her. Without a second thought, I turned and ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could. Phasing was second nature to me now, I was suddenly a wolf running full speed through the woods. A couple people from the pack were phased too and their thoughts were running through my head, a terrible consequence of being in a pack.

“You imprinted!” Sam shouted to all of us that were phased. I tried to ignore everyone and kept running, my legs propelling me forward at a dangerously fast pace.

“Finally! Leah’s in love!” Jared shouted back over everyone else’s thoughts. He went on to talk about how great imprinting was but I ignored him and ran to the beach.

I stayed within the tree line when I got there and watched the waves crash on the rocks. I laid down deciding to stay for a while to think about everything. Ever since I met her at the beach I always came back for comfort. Every big decision I had to make was made here, even little decisions were made here. Everything here reminded me of her, of home.

My ears pricked, picking up on someone walking along the beach. I spotted who it was, holding a bag with a flannel shirt sleeve bursting out of it. She was here with a hand placed above her eyes to shield the sun as she looked around the beach. She was calling my name.

“Leah! Your mom said you would be here and that you would need these!” She shouted spinning around trying to find me. Still in my wolf form I stood up and made my way slowly out to her. I hadn’t consciously made the decision to do it but my whole being yearned to be near her. She froze when she saw me and I couldn’t blame her for it. I didn’t look like myself, in my place was a huge white wolf with tan fur around my face.

“Leah?” She asked sounding like she couldn’t believe it. How could she know it was me? She hadn’t found out any of the legends were real yet but somehow she knew. She took a tentative step toward me so I stilled letting her make the move. After a couple more steps she reached her hand out and began to caress my face. A huge smile broke out across her face as she looked at me. Her head tilted to the side as she began to giggle.

“I always knew the legends were true,” she finally got out after her fit of giggles ended. She dropped the bag next to her and held my face in both of her hands. She pressed her nose to my snout and sighed. I shook my head to get her hands off of me so I could phase back. Once I was back into my naked human form she asked me, “Does this mean the whole imprinting thing is real?”

“Yes,” I replied softly as I scrambled to put on the clothes she brought me. She stood there looking fascinated as she thought over everything. After a minute she pulled me down to sit next to her on a log and we watched the sunset like we had the last time we saw each other.

“Have you imprinted on anyone?” She asked me as she leaned her head on my shoulder. The slight touch had my stomach doing leaps. I looked down at her and saw that her face was turned up toward me.

“Yes,” I told her without hesitating. Something flashed across her eyes but she blinked and it was gone. “Just today actually.”

She sat up instantly and was on her feet before I could even blink. Without confirming it she took a step and took my face in her hands and smiled down at me. Her eyes looked from my eyes to my lips then back again. A small gasp left me, parting my lips slightly as I realized what she was going to do. She leaned down and captured my lips with hers. Everything disappeared around us, nothing else mattered except for this.

I grabbed her hands and pulled them off my face as I stood up. I had broken the kiss momentarily and she looked up at me a pout forming on her beautiful face. But before she could say anything else I was leaning down and pulling her face back to mine. Her lips were softer than I had ever imagined, her taste sweeter too.

We pulled away from each other after a while, completely breathless but with smiles on our faces. My hands traveled from her face and down her arms to capture her hands. Before I could hold her left hand, I felt something on her wrist and pulled her arm up to look at it. On her wrist was a worn leather braided bracelet with a wooden carved wolf charm dangling from it.

“You still wear this?” I asked my eyes were wide as I realized that although ten years had passed she still cared that much about me. She shook her head and grasped my hands tightly, standing up on her tiptoes to be closer to me.

“I told you the last time we saw each other that I really loved you, Leah,” she told me pressing a quick kiss to my chin, she was too short to reach my mouth without me bending down slightly. She giggled slightly before continuing to talk. “I’ve always loved you, Leah, nothing has changed.”

“I love you, too,” I told her back with emotion flooding into my voice. Before either of us could speak I leaned down to kiss her again. The sun set as we kissed, neither of us bothering to stop. Her hands gripped at my shirt pulling me impossibly close and I knew in that moment she would never be far from me again.

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inspired-by-the-music · 5 years ago

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Chapter 9: Insight

Ae-Young’s POV

“I don’t understand why you won’t let Dad throw you a birthday party,” Heechul said for the thousandth time as he waited for me outside of the dressing room. You may not believe it, but I liked him in situations where he didn’t have to compete for attention.

Without fail, I had answered that I was spending my birthday with Kyuhyun, so I finally snapped. “Dude, what did I tell you? You’re here to offer fashion advice— not to interest me in conversation.”

“But I’m bored.” The dressing room shook as he slammed his back against the wall and slid until he hit the floor. “If you wanted a fashion guru, you should have called Key—”

Just to get a reaction out of Heechul, I lied, “I did call Key. He was busy.”

He gasped and stuck his head under the door. “I was your last resort?”

Squealing, I ran into the corner where he couldn’t see as I finished adjusting my dress. “Get out, Heechul!” And once he obeyed, I answered, “No, by the way; Dad would have been my last resort. You were my second resort.”

“I didn’t come here to be insulted, Ae-Young!” He pounded against the door. “Appreciate my presence!”

Half-hoping that an employee would kick him out of the store for disruptive behavior, I asked, “If you didn’t come to be helpful, and you didn’t come to be insulted—”

“ — I came because I thought you’d buy lunch.”

I scoffed. “You have a lot of nerve, expecting your baby sister to treat you on her birth-week!”

Without warning, Heechul tired of our conversation. “Seriously, come out in that last dress in the next thirty seconds, or I’m going to the food court alone, and then I’ll leave you here.”

That kind of attitude was why Dad didn’t trust him to pick me up after school when I was a kid. Childishly pouting and avoiding my reflection because the dress made me look like a stranger, I retorted, “Then leave! I’ll call Kyuhyun, and he’ll come get me!”

“You’d interrupt your hard-working lawyer fiancé’s day with such silliness?” He tsked. “It’s as romantic as it is impossible, baby sister. You left your phone out here. So hurry up, or I’ll take it and leave.”

Catching a glimpse of myself again, I whined, “Heechul, I can’t come out. I look awful.”

“At least you know it,” he deadpanned. “Self-awareness can’t be taught.”

I pounded against the door and swore, “I’m serious, Heechul. I look terrible— I can’t wear this to the engagement party—”

He barked, “Quit being such a crybaby drama queen! Get out here and show me, and I’ll tell you if you look bad.”

My hand lingered on the door as I asked for his word that he wouldn’t just say I looked good to convince me to leave. “Promise?”

“When have I ever failed to tell you when you look like a wreck?”

It was true. If for nothing else, I could count on Heechul to tell me when I didn’t look my best. He was the kind of brother who would drive me to the doctor and point at my face, saying, “You look sick,” in the waiting room.

So finally, I pushed the door open and stood before him, awkwardly linking my hands as I awaited his disapproval. It didn’t come, though. He only crossed his arms and mumbled something that sounded like, “You look beautiful.”

Unsure, I stepped closer and asked, “What did you say?” But he wouldn’t repeat it.

Heechul belted, “You heard me! Don’t fish for compliments because I won’t say it again!”

“Yeesh,” I rolled my eyes, “you’re such a maniac.” Still, I smiled as I twirled back into the dressing room. Maybe looking like a stranger isn’t so bad. “So you think I should buy this for the engagement party?”

“Don’t you have girl friends you could drag to things like this?”

“No—” My stomach growled, so I tried to get an answer out of Heechul the only way I knew how: through flattery. “Your opinion is everything to me; so should I get the dress or not?”

Plainly, as if it hadn't been so difficult to reply all along, he said, “Yeah.” And just as I unlocked the door, before I could open it, he asked, “You liked that blue dress too, right?”

The blue sundress was too casual for the extravagant engagement party Dad was planning. I only decided to try it on after remarking under my breath that it would be perfect for my birthday date with Kyuhyun.

Reddening at the realization that Heechul must have overheard, I answered, “Yeah, it’s a pretty dress.” But after checking the price tag, I pouted. “It’s a little out of my price range today, though.”

“So what?” Heechul probably shrugged on the other side of the door. “Grab it anyway.”

Frowning at his fiscal irresponsibility, I repeated, I can’t afford—”

Eyes bulging in annoyance, he burst through the door and said, “I’m telling you that I’ll buy the damn dress. Now come on. I’m hungry.”

Swallowing my laughter at the chance to bug him further, I feigned cluelessness and sang, “Well, why didn’t you just say so? Let’s go!”

Heechul decided that we had to get lunch from the corndog stand because “That’s the cheapest thing here. I had to dig into my savings to get that dress.”

Like I told you, I wasn’t picky, so I smiled at my meal as I climbed into one of those tall food court chairs. “I told you it was expensive! You don’t listen!”

Waving a hand, he dismissed the information just as he had in the dressing room. “I thought you were just milking me for a birthday gift.”

He was playing, as usual, so I shouldn’t have been offended. Irrationally, my brow furrowed, demanding, “When have I ever done something like that?”

His mouth fell open, but no reply ever came. Realizing that I had never asked him for anything in my life, he adopted a different attitude while shoving a corndog into his mouth. “I don’t mind spoiling you— everyone seems to love doing that.” And before I could argue, pouting, that I wasn’t spoiled, he continued, “It’s not your fault that you’re so spoiled. Everyone just likes you so much, they want to give you everything.”

“I don’t think—”

But Heechul never wanted to hear what I thought. He barreled into another topic, eyebrows wiggling. “I just hope Kyuhyun likes the dress.”

Heechul wouldn’t want to hear that Kyuhyun wasn’t especially fixated on appearances, so I bit my tongue. I hope he likes it too. Even if he doesn’t say anything, I hope he thinks that nobody has ever looked so lovely.

“It’s disgusting.” Heechul’s entire body cringed as he pushed his plate closer to me.

Stirred from my daydream, I looked at his empty plate and observed, “It certainly doesn’t look like you thought it was disgusting.”

“What?” He took a long sip from his straw. “No, I’m talking about how you’re in love with Kyuhyun.” He must not have noticed the color draining from my face— but how could he miss it? His eyes were fixed intently on my expression as if in search of the slightest tremor. Mercilessly, he proceeded, “It’s one thing to see you all lovestruck when he’s sitting with you at family dinners, probably holding your hand under the table or some shit. But he’s not even here. All I did was say his name, and you got little hearts in your eyes.”

My response was delayed. I unsteadily stood in my chair and swiped at him. “I did not!”

He dodged my swipes and smiled at having struck a nerve. “Hey, don’t get crazy! I bet he gets heart eyes when you’re brought up, too. Hell— he might even get them just from thinking about you since he likes you more—”

“Don’t say stuff like that,” I warned before he could finish the thought, “especially when it isn’t true.”

Not only were Kyuhyun’s feelings— well, I didn’t know what they were, but they weren’t whatever Heechul was talking about. And whatever Kyuhyun felt, there was no way he felt it more deeply than I did; there was no way he felt it as long as I had. Just considering Heechul’s scenario where Kyuhyun liked me more forced my lips into a tight frown.

Heechul swooned, “Everyone always thinks they’re the one deeper in love, but someone’s always wrong. I’ve seen you two— the way he looks at you— the way he never looks away— and how you don’t even notice.”

“Stop playing about this, Heechul.” I glared at him. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not playing,” Heechul replied hotly as he always did when nobody took his attempts at sincerity seriously. Leaning across the table to stare at me more closely, he challenged, “How long do you plan to dance around your feelings? It’s disgusting to watch— truly disgusting— so just admit it.”

I looked directly into his blazing eyes. Aware that he could see through me— aware that there was no point in lying— I delayed. “Admit what?”

He screamed in my face, “That you’re in love!” And if I hadn’t already known, that moment alone of my brother hollering it in the middle of the heavily populated food court would have made it impossible to ignore.

“I will admit no such thing!” I pushed his face away from mine and added, “And stop studying me and Kyuhyun. It’s weird!”

“It’s true love!” He sat back in his seat. “And as Dad says, I’m not likely to ever experience it myself, so I have to live vicariously through you!”

You’ll find love, I wanted to tell him. She’ll have to be patient— the most patient person on earth, probably— but she’ll love the way you make laughter out of nothing at all. She’ll love your unexpected bits of wisdom sprinkled into stupid jokes. She’ll love your passion for music and your devotion to honesty, even at the expense of others’ feelings. She’ll come to you, and you won’t even have to look.

I wanted to tell him because I didn’t think he knew, but he wouldn’t listen to me, so I mumbled, “You’re such an idiot.” And then my curiosity burned bright as it often did. “Could I get your opinion on something?”

“Woah, woah—” He held his hands up and offered the disclaimer, “I am not the guy to come to for advice about love. I can recognize it, but I don’t know how—”

“It’s not about love!” I thought. And once he shut up, I asked, “So say a guy keeps a bunch of gifts a girl sent him years ago in his desk drawer at work—”

“Is the guy dating the girl?” Heechul asked.

I was surprised that he took the scenario seriously enough to ask anything. “Y— no. No, they’re not really dating.”

“Well, was he dating someone else when he got the gifts?”

“Yeah.”

Having gone too long without being an imbecile, he broke into a goofy grin. “Was the girl named Ae-Young and the guy named Kyuhyun?”

I lied, “No, this happened in a drama I’m watching, and I have no clue how it’s gonna end. I just—” My voice wavered as I wondered aloud for the first time, “What does it mean? Why did he keep the gifts?”

Heechul was unconvinced by my story, but he didn’t push me to admit the truth. “Well, obviously, he had a thing for the girl who sent the gifts. He left them at the office so the girlfriend wouldn’t find out.”

Needless to say, I hadn’t considered that; and even once Heechul said it, I didn’t consider it. “That doesn’t make sense. The gift girl was no competition for the girlfriend—”

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” Heechul said plainly. “Maybe he thought she was.”

I shook my head. “No, she was too young—”

“Look, as long as she wasn’t a kid—”

“She was 16 and he was 26—”

Heechul tried to tell me, laughing, “All men are pigs, Ae-Young; I’m just the only one who’s honest about it.”

There was nothing to laugh about. All I could do was say, “Kyuhyun isn’t a pig,” and cover my mouth at the realization that I had completely revealed that I was talking about us the entire time.

I expected Heechul would rejoice at my mistake, but he didn’t. He busied himself with organizing our trash onto the tray as he agreed, “Yeah— yeah, I know. Look, I’m not saying that he was lusting after you when you were younger or anything. It’s just— whatever you have is special somehow. And maybe he felt like taking those gifts home where his girlfriend could see would expose cracks in their relationship.”

While my eyes widened at the depth of Heechul’s insight, while I remembered why I sometimes bothered to tell him these things, Heechul continued, “He and Dad have stressful jobs. Maybe keeping that stuff reminds Kyuhyun that life isn’t all about punishing bad guys. Maybe you’ve been brightening his days for a long time without knowing it.”

How do I respond? Even if I knew what to say, I couldn’t. Emotions tightened around my throat until I could barely breathe. I hoped, I prayed that Heechul was right with a desperation that made me hang my head.

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fernwehbookworm · 5 years ago

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Woke The F*ck Up- Chapter 13

December 10th, 2017

Lena sits on the bed and stares at the floor. She knew as soon as she saw Kara she would regret everything. Something obviously happened to her. She looked like a truck had hit her. But why didn’t she call? If she could just hop on a plane to get here after missing flights for a month, how come she couldn’t get here on time. Why did it take Lena breaking up with her for Kara to fucking show up? The toilet flushes and the bathroom door opens to reveal a very naked Veronica.

“The 'ex' didn’t expect to see you moving on so quickly, did she?” Veronica leans against the door frame.

“Get out,” Lena says quietly.

“Oh, come on Lee. We had fun. Don’t let blondie be a buzzkill.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lena says, the nickname stabbing straight into her chest.

“Lee? Why not?”

“Because I said so. Now get out Veronica!” Lena roared. She crossed the room to open the door. Veronica huffed and gathered her clothes before striding past Lena. At the door, she turns to the raven-haired singer.

“Call me when you're ready for more fun. Or you just need to forget.”

Lena slams the door shut and collapses on the bed, doing what she should have the evening before, crying until she falls asleep.

January 12th, 2018

“Lee-na… wow, I haven't shaid your name in a long time. I knew you would send me to voicemail. (Lena hears a shuddering breath) I’ve… I’ve tried to forget you. But… My heart hurts. My whole body hurts. I know I fucked up. And you fucked up. But I still want you. Despite everything and all the pain in my chest. It makes it hard for me to focus on… on what I’m doing. Why did you do this to me? Why did I do this to myself? I shtill want to tell you the truth, but I think you need to figure out what you want too. I just hope you decide before it's too late, before… before we can’t talk anymore.”

Lena listens to the voicemail for the tenth time. Kara was clearly drunk as she slurred her words. It hurt Lena because she drove Kara to do that. She was toxic. The last line always got her. Too late, like Kara wouldn't love her anymore? But it sounded more ominous than that. She stares at the now empty text message window with Kara’s name at the top. She deleted everything from before. Pictures, texts, Instagram posts (which caused a major commotion in the media), and her contact. But then Kara called her. Lena re-saved her number after that. Why didn’t she delete this too? Because Kara still wanted her. Emotions moved through the message like a hurricane, and it made Lena sick. It made her happy. It made her hurt. All she can think about is how Kara's blue eyes turned to steel when she heard Veronica's voice. How she instantly went to the bathroom to throw up as her stomach rolled and the alcohol soured. Then she ran down the hall trying desperately to catch Kara, Only to see her crying as the doors slid shut. Lena thought of taking the stairs, but she was still only wrapped in a sheet. The sheet from the bed where she fucked her ex in a moment of extreme weakness after ending things with Kara in a stupid voicemail. Anyone else would have been better, or no one. She should have just drunk with Sam then went home.

Lena’s head whips up as the back door bursts open into the alley.

“Fuck, sorry. Nobody is usually back here. I’m the only one who smokes in this place.”

Lena just nods and settles back against the wall she was huddled against. She turns her head to watch the already bustling London traffic in the morning gloom on the adjacent street and takes another drag on her cigarette.

Lena looks back at the other occupant of her hiding place as a string of cursing echoes through the alley and the woman throws her lighter against the brick wall of the building. The cheap plastic breaks and its parts skitter on the ground.

“Need a light?” Lena offers her the engraved lighter Lex sent her after the second album released. No note, no phone call. Just a lighter with her name and the Luthor house crest.

The woman flashes her an appreciative smile and takes the offered object. Lena watches her eyes widen at the name on the side. Well, if she didn’t know her at first, she does now. Lena takes the time as the woman lights the cigarette to study her. Light brown hair styled with an undercut flopped slightly in her deep brown eyes. Several piercings line the ear Lena can see and a small stud sparkles in her nose. A black leather jacket, a black shirt, with dark jeans tucked into black bikers boots. Not typically Lena’s type but hey, she can appreciate the beauty of women. She hands the lighter back.

“Sorry for earlier, guess it isn’t polite to cuss in front of the VIP for the studio huh? Also sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

“Don’t apologize. I like women with filthy mouths.”

“That was nothing, my mouth has a lot of practice at being filthy.” The brunette winks at the star and Lena takes one last brag before dropping the butt and squashing it under her heel.

“I’ll keep that in mind. But right now, I have an interview.”

Lena disappears inside to dodge her way through a radio interview about her personal life and her upcoming album release. She felt dirty and not in a good way. Flirting with other people had left her with this feeling every single time since Kara walked out of that hotel. She still did it, especially drunk or high, but sober, there was nothing stopping that feeling. She should call Kara, at least to hear what she had to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

A text comes in. Veronica is in London, asking if Lena wants to meet for drinks at her hotel tonight. Lena already knows what that means. What its meant the last three times. Lena honestly doesn’t even want to go, but then another text comes in, Veronica offers Lena a sample new strain cannabis she acquired that she wants to try and sell to her clients. Veronica knows how to pull her in every time; before Lena even decides, she sends a text agreeing to meet her later. Then she is calling Sam to cancel their dinner plans. Making another mistake, but it's like watching a car crash in slow motion. She just can’t stop herself.

“Good job this morning. I don’t think you answered a single question unless it was directly about the album.”

“Well, it’s just those Luthor genes, shining through.”

“You can thank your family for one thing then.”

“Yeah… So listen, Veronica’s in town.” silence on the other end, then Sam sighs.

“You’re bailing on me again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Lena says softly.

“You know I don’t like this. I don’t like how you are handling everything. This isn’t you.”

“This is me, Sam. This is who I am.”

“Not the Lena I know. The Lena I know would be on her way over here to eat lasagna with me and her biggest fan then spend the rest of the evening drinking wine with me while my daughter tortures us with her piano playing.”

“No Sam. That was someone I pretended to be. I tried to be better than who I am and I am sorry that was the version you met but I am done pretending.”

“You are better Lena. You are so much better. And you deserve better too. Look, I’m your friend. I care about you. But if you continue further down this path, I may have to start taking actions as your boss.” Anger bubbled in Lena’s chest. How dare Sam try to change her, threaten her.

“It’s my life Sam, so fuck off.” She ends the call and hails a taxi.

All Lena wanted to do was to forget everything going on, forget the album she was stuck on, forget her brother’s incarceration and her mother’s warrant. Forget that she ran away from Kara and did the stupidest thing of her life. A thing she continues to do because sleeping with Veronica feels strangely safe, and familiar. It reminds Lena of simpler times. Veronica is ingrained in her bones more than Lena would like to admit. She should cut all ties, but she just can't bring herself to do it. Lena tells the driver the address for Veronica’s hotel.

January 15th, 2018

The cannabis Veronica sold to Lena was helping. Loud Dream it was called. An expensive hybrid meant to promote creativity and help with depression. Music flowed through Lena’s fingers again and inspiration struck. She had sent all morning in the studio working on the album that she has about four more weeks to complete before she is officially late on her deadline. She had spent so much time with writer's block that she wasn’t going to waste this.

I'm holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on So much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy?

Lena stops playing, trying to figure out what is bugging her about the song. She turns to face the window separating her from the sound booth and Sam. The woman had been cold since there phone call last week, well cold for Sam. Lena didn’t blame her, but Lena wasn’t sorry either.

“Sam? This song is missing something.”

“What?” Sam says through Lena’s headphones.

“It’s not a solo.” “So what do you want?”

“Someone to sing it with me.”

“I can tell you already have someone in mind so just tell me so I can go watch my daughter’s karate class.”

“Linkin Park.” A heavy sigh, and a long pause. Lena thinks she hears papers shuffle.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Lena looks meaningfully at her producer.

“Thank you, Sam.”

“I’m just happy you’re recording again.” Sam gathers her stuff and leaves Lena in her studio.

January 19th, 2018

Sam hadn't reached out. Lena was alone again. She could feel it. The loneliness seeping in as she sat in her hotel room. It settled heavy in her chest, pressing down on her. Her last phone conversation with Sam helping weigh it down. She hadn’t felt bad at first, but now her conscience was screaming at her for how horribly she treated someone who genuinely cared for her. She ran out the cannabis she bought from Veronica earlier that morning and had long since sobered from the small amount. Veronica was gone, back to National City to check on some shady business or other, and a small bit of Lena was glad for that, she was weak and so tired. She didn’t want to rely on Veronica anymore to try and fill the gaping hole in her chest. Lena picked up her phone, checked it, and put it back down. The silence grows louder and louder until it’s deafening. After another half an hour, Lena breaks and calls her friend. She almost thinks Sam is going to ignore the call, answering just before she gets kicked to voicemail.

“What is it, Lena?”

“I...umm… well… I…”

“Lena, for a writer you are not good with words. I have to get back to making dinner. Ruby will be home soon. Call me when you figure out what you want.”

Sam's words being Kara's message back to mind. Sam sighs after a pause.

“Goodbye, Lena.”

“Wait! I… I miss you.”

“Then maybe you shouldn't have canceled on me three times, or told me to ‘fuck off’.”

“You’re right. I shouldn't have canceled on you. Can we… Can we talk? I know I haven’t been a good friend lately but I miss having one. And I miss Ruby too.” Silence on the other end. Lena can almost see Sam rubbing her forehead as she thinks.

“Are you sober? I will not have you high around my daughter. If you want to be in her life, then when you are with her you will be sober.”

“Yes, painfully so.”

“Alright, dinner will be ready in half an hour. Come over.”

Relieved, Lena hangs up and gets dressed in her favorite sweats before calling a cab to take her to Sam’s. She grabs Sam’s favorite red wine to take with her. Once she gets to Sam’s cute little-terraced house that matches every other one on the street, she hesitantly knocks on the door. It was close to Ruby’s school so Ruby could walk there on her own. That was the main selling point for Sam. She didn’t want a big mansion or to live lavishly, like she easily could, because she wanted Ruby to grow up with a semi-normal life. Lena remembers talking to Sam about how she became a single mom. A party in high school, ending with a drunken mistake. Sam being kicked out of her house for not aborting the baby. A stereotypical high school pregnancy. But then Sam rose above it. She worked part-time until she couldn’t at a coffee shop. She took out loans and started college. She worked hard, part-time student, part-time worker, full-time mother. She did it alone, only occasionally getting child support money from Ruby's father. Sam didn’t complain. What she did get she put in a savings account for her daughter to get when she was eighteen. Eventually, she worked her way into a comfortable job. Then worked her way up in different businesses around the world. She heard about the producer vacancy, applied, and got it. She and Ruby would never have to worry again.

The door pulls open and Lena is greeted by an enthusiastic girl before she can even say ‘hi’. Ruby has her in a tight hug around her waist and Lena tries to hug her back while still holding the wine. She sees Sam down the hall. Her face is hard but it softens at the sight of her daughter, she relieves Lena of the wine.

“Good, you brought the good stuff.” Sam walks back into the house, leaving Lena with a ten-year-old hanging onto her.

“Hello to you too Ruby,” she says, brushing unruly dark hair back from her face, Ruby looks up at her favorite person.

“I’ve missed you. Mom said you had some stuff to work out and that you would come back when you were ready.”

“I’ve missed you too, little one. I’m still working on some stuff but it shouldn’t keep me away from you anymore.”

“Promise?”

Lena looks at the girl’s dark and hopeful eyes, it breaks her heart. She was an idiot for everything she had done.

“I promise.”

“Ruby? Set the table, honey.” Sam calls from the kitchen. The girl finally detaches from Lena to go grab plates. Lena follows her into the kitchen, when the girl disappears into the dining room, Sam turns to Lena.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“What you said to Ruby, that you’ll be here.”

Before Lena can respond, Ruby bounces back into the room. She begins chattering about school and football practice while Sam dishes up dinner. Ruby keeps up a stream of conversation with only occasional prompting from the adults. After dinner, Lena volunteers to do the dishes while Sam pours two glasses of wine and follows Ruby to the living room. Ruby begins to play then. She has improved quite a bit at the piano since Lena last heard her play. The soft tunes carry Lena through the dishes until she can relieve Sam of one of the glasses and sits next to the young pianist on the bench. Sam types away at her computer while the two musicians play.

“Want to hear something I've been working on?” Lena asks eventually, the girl nods enthusiastically.

“Keep it appropriate,” Sam chimes in from the couch.

“I promise, no cursing,” Lena says as her fingers begin the intro.

I don't set alarms

Lately I don't set alarms

But that's because of the ringing that's happening inside my head

Inside my head

Yeah yeah

It keeps me safe from harm

At least I tell myself I'm safe from harm

But really it's probably filling my dreams with dread

So I get out of bed

Yeah yeah

Yes I'm neurotic I'm obsessed and I know it

I can't take vacations and the brain won't, believe me, I'm on one

Hawaii under warm sun

Yeah yeah

I think I lost my mind

Don't worry about me

Happens all the time

In the morning I'll be better

Sing it again

I think I lost my mind

But don't worry about me

Happens all the time

In the morning I'll be better

Things are only getting better

Sing it again

“Why did you stop?” Ruby asks.

“That’s all I have. I wrote it this morning.”

“Is it about what you’re working through?”

“Yeah, it is Rubes. But I’m trying to get better. Music really helps.”

“That’s good.” Ruby yawns.

“Alright, my little pianist, time for bed. Give me a kiss then go brush your teeth.”

“But...I’m...not…tired.” Ruby manages through another yawn.

“Go.” Sam points to the stairs. Ruby pauses just to place a kiss on her mother's cheek and calling goodnight to the two women, who respond in kind. Lena takes about a more classical piece on the piano and plays for a few minutes before Sam sits next to her. Lena continues until she hears Ruby shut her door before letting the final notes settle in the air.

“I need you to mean it, Lena. If you are going to be in my life, in Ruby’s life. Then be here. Sober. I am a single mom with a job that requires a lot of travel. Most of Ruby’s stability comes from the people I allow in her life. I love you, Lena. I thought we were growing closer like you could be the sister I never had. I want you in my life, in Ruby’s life. But not how you have been. Not drunk or high, not regularly seeing questionable people. So, did you mean it?”

Lena slowly closes the lid of the piano. She takes a deep breath.

“Yes. I mean it. I am sorry I haven't been here. I am sorry for how I have handled things. But now with Veronica gone, my head is clear. I’m going to change my number and get a new phone. I’m cutting all ties with her. When the album is done I want to take a break from this life. No more tours, no more signings. I just want to figure out who I am now.” Sam pulls Lena into a hug.

“Okay. I can make that happen. We have to get you into an actual house and not a hotel room, you need a home.”

“I’ve never had a home, not really.”

“Then it’s time to change that.”

January 26th, 2018

Lena was still in the studio, she couldn’t remember the last time she left it actually. Lena had been writing and recording, then crumpling the music and throwing it on the floor in frustration. Her headache had gone from dull to throbbing, she needed to eat. She dialed Jess’ number.

“Hello, Miss Luthor.”

“Jess, I’ve told you, call me Lena. Can you send some food to the studio?”

“Its already on its way. I knew you wouldn’t have eaten since I sent food this morning.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Apparently starve to death. Goodbye, Miss Luthor.”

“Goodbye, Jess.”

As if on cue, an intern for the studio knocks on the door with Lena’s food. She gratefully accepts it for digging in and playing back the song she was working on. It was nearing eleven and so she was almost alone in the building except for those few interns doing work for the various bigwigs and the security staff.

t's 5 a.m. and I'm on the radio

I'm supposed to call you, but I don't know what to say at all

And there's this girl, she wants me to take her home

She don't really love me though, I'm just on the radio

And I'm not gonna tell you that I'm over it

'Cause I think about it every night I'm not sober, and

I know I keep these feelings to myself

Like I don't need nobody else

But you're not the only one on my mind

If I'm being honest

You said I should be honest

So I'm being honest

“Well if that isn’t a depressing song.”

Lena jumps and spins around in her chair. How Veronica alway looks like a snake about to spring always bothered Lena. She stood casually in the doorway, wearing a tight dress like most people wear jeans. She smirks at the flicker of surprise on Lena’s face.

“Veronica, what brings you here?”

“Seems someone has disconnected their number and I couldn’t call them to ask if they wanted to meet for drinks so I can discuss my business in National City.”

“What a shame.” Lena purposely turns back to her dinner and the sheet music in front of her. She hears Veronica walk closer, she gracefully sits in the chair next to her, nose wrinkling at the fast food Lena was eating.

“Yes, it seems there is a new player in my fight clubs. An undefeated woman who is making me a lot of money. She is going by the name Andromeda.” “Fascinating,” Lena says, trying not to look at the woman. She lets the silence fill the room.

“Why Lena?”

“Because I’m done. Done with you, done with us, and done with the drugs.”

“Lena we both know that’s not true.”

“It is. Which is why I am removing the temptation. Now please leave Veronica.”

“Very well. You know how you can reach me if you change your mind.” Veronica stands and makes her way to the door.

“Oh, excuse me,” Veronica says as she leaves. Lena turns in the chair, preparing to tell whoever it is to leave her alone. The protest dies in her throat as she takes in the tall redhead dressed in all black. An FBI badge glittering at her hip.

“Alex,” Lena whispers as she sees Veronica’s smirk over the Agent’s shoulder before she disappears down the hall. Lena clears her throat and stands, suddenly aware of the fact she hasn’t left this room in two days and hasn’t showered in four.

“Agent Danvers, this is quite unexpected. What is the FBI doing in London?”

Alex stares at Lena, fire burning in her eyes. Her features were sharp and hard, her body coiled like a spring. A lioness about to spring. Her glare makes Lena fidget.

“Miss Luthor, I have been sent to see if you would return to the United States for questioning and your brother’s trial.”

“Straight to the point I see.” Lena sits down in her chair again.

“Do you have any papers of extradition or anything that would force me to go with you?”

“No, Miss Luthor. It was to be on your goodwill.”

“Then I will pass Agent. I have too much to do.”

“Too many people to do too, I see,” Alex says icily. Lena stares at the Agent.

“Say what you actually came here to say, Agent Danvers. I have had very little sleep and have little patience for word games.”

Alex turns and shuts the door behind her before taking a deep breath. The Agent’s shoulders bunch with the tension of the words she carries. This was not a confrontation Lena was ready for, but here it was.

“I didn’t have to be the one to come. But I did. I had to see your face. I had to… I had to…” Alex drifts off and rests her forehead against the door.

“You had to tell me off. Had to protect your little sister from the Evil Luthor that broke her heart.”

“Did you even see her? Did you wonder why she looked the way she did?”

“I saw her.” Lena closes her eyes, trying to forget the bruised and swollen face, the sling on one of Kara’s arms. Then the steal in her eyes as they turned cold and filled with hate.

“It’s why she couldn’t come. She was unconscious for three days.”

“And how did she get hurt?” Lena asks.

“Its… I… I can’t tell you.”

“And why the fuck not.” Lena turns back to face the Agent. She seems to have shrunk back against the door.

“Because it’s not my place.”

“But you know. You know this big secret Kara has kept from me. The one that caused her to cancel and miss flights. The one that has left me unwanted and unloved by the one person I let in and gave everything I had to. That secret.” Lena stands back up in anger.

“Yes, that one. But it’s as important to her as you are and you should really give her a chance.”

“Give her a chance! Give her a chance! I gave her a fucking chance Alex! SIx missed flights. Twenty-seven missed phone calls.” That silences the agent.

“And then you slept with the woman who broke your heart. The one person you knew would make her hate you just hours after you broke up with her over a fucking voicemail.”

“Veronica didn’t break my heart,” Lena says softly. “She chipped it a bit. But Kara broke it, shattered it on the ground.”

The two stare at each other. The Agent brooding, wanting so badly to defend her sister's actions, but knowing she had no leg to stand on.

“I should go.”

“Yes, you should.”

“Don’t come back. She doesn't need to go through this again.”

“I wasn’t planning on going through hell again myself.”

“Have a good evening, Miss Luthor.”

“Goodbye, Alex. I’d say tell everyone I said ‘hi’ but I suspect no one knows you are here.” Alex just glares icily before leaving, shutting the door just a little too hard. Lena turns back to work, pushing the food aside because she had lost her appetite.

February, 13th, 2018

After weeks in the studio, the album was released. Lena abandoned her hotel room in favor of sleeping on the couch in the studio. On the occasion Sam did force her to leave, Lena would sleep in the guest bedroom in her house. Somehow her stuff made it there also, Lena suspected Jess. After the release, Lena slept for two days straight at Sam’s. Then she watched as news articles appeared, picking apart her songs and the titles. Sam made her food and took her phone, saying to ignore it and let the PR team handle everything. Lena was annoyed at first but was relieved to disappear for a bit. She helped Ruby with her piano more and actually curled up with a book to read.

“So, is this the start of your break?” Sam settles down with Lena on the couch, setting two steaming cups of tea on the coffee table. Lena closes the book and pulls her knees to her chest to make room for her friend.

“Unofficially, yeah I think so. You don’t mind, do you? I mean I can go back to the hotel if I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“Oh, Lena, dear, no. We love having you here.” Lena relaxes back into the couch at her friend's words, relieved to not leave the safe warmth of an actual home.

“I’ll have Jess start a house search for me. It won’t be long.”

Sam picks up her mug and stares into the steaming liquid. Lena waits for her to say whatever's on her mind but after a few minutes, Lena returns to her book. She’s almost finished the chapter when Sam takes a deep breath.

“You could always just stay here.” Lena’s eyes snap up but Sam avoids meeting her gaze.

“What?” Finally, Sam looks at her.

“I mean, look, your stuff is already here, Ruby loves having you around, we don’t actually need a guest room since I haven’t spoken to my mother in ten years…” Sam trails off and Lena smiles.

“Sam, I would love to.”

Sam smiles and sets her tea down. She flops on top of Lean and pulls a blanket down on top of them so they can settle down for a lazy Sunday. Lena runs her fingers through Sam’s hair and sam flicks on reruns of Friends.

“Your the closest thing I have to family, Sam. I don’t know where I would be if you didn’t come into my life. Thank you for being my friend. For being my sister.”

“Family isn’t just blood. You can choose your family. And I choose you, you and all your baggage.”

“I have a lot of baggage,” Lena says. Sam squeezes her arms around her waist.

“It’s easier to carry with two people.”

Tears escape Lena’s eyes and she presses a grateful kiss to Sam’s forehead. Lena settles back down and listens as the cloudy day gives way to rain outside the house. She hears the soft notes of Ruby playing on the electric keyboard upstairs in her room that Lena had gifted her. The show drones on and Lena feels the occasional soft chuckles emit from Sam. A sense of peace settles of Lena that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

They stay like that for a couple of hours, Lena drifting in and out of consciousness as her body recovers from the strain she put on it in the past few weeks. Her fingers still throb from playing so much. A knock on the door rouses Lena and Sam groans before pushing off the couch. The cold from the room immediately finds Lena as Sam’s body heat leaves her. Sam answered the front door and after a muffled conversation she calls out.

“Hey, Lena! It’s for you.”

More confused than ever, Lena walks to the front door. The only person who knew she was here, outside of this house, was Jess. Lena rounds the corner to come face to face with two portly men in expensive suits. Lena recognizes them. They are Luthor Lawyers. Two of the many well paid lawyers to protect the Luthor name.

“Miss. Luthor.” The taller man greets.

“Yes?”

“We have been sent to give you copies of these contracts and to request your presence at the Luthor Law office here in London so that the assets may be officially signed over to you.” the man holds out a suitcase.

“Excuse me?” Lena doesn't understand.

“The assets ma’am. That your brother left to you in case of his death and or arrest. Since he has been arrested, then they are left to you.”

“What?”

“Ma’am it is all in the contracts. Please read them then call our office so we can complete the paperwork. We must go.” The man sets down the still outstretched briefcase before he and his partner turn and pop their umbrellas open to ward off the freezing rain as they made their way back to a waiting car.

February 16th, 2018

“What am I going to do Jess? They left the whole company to me?”

Lena asks her personal assistant after the lawyer left. Before her brother was arrested he transferred all his shares into Lena's name and her mother was God knows where running a criminal organization. She didn't have any controlling shares of the company, Lena had sixty-four percent now that she had her brothers fifty-three. She had only kept such a small amount to make sure she had at least a small income if she ever decided to quit singing. Now, now she had more of her family’s assets than she ever wanted. Jess bites her lip and looks at Lena.

“I have a master's in business,” Jess states after a long pause, taking Lena aback.

“What?” Lena asks, unbelieving.

“I was the assistant manager at Green Diamond. But when I met you, I knew you needed someone on your side. Someone to protect you from yourself. So I took the job as your personal assistant.” Lena is speechless. Jess chose to be here. Jess wasn't here for the money Lena kept convincing herself Jess needed. Lena bursts into tears and Jess tentatively reaches out and touches her shoulder. Lena awkwardly pulls her into a hug while sitting in the chairs. This is a rare moment of emotion that Lena never let's show with her assistant.

“I’ll go. I'll be your acting CFO until you decide what you want to do.” Lena tightens her arms around the slim woman until her tears subside.

“You would really do that for me?”

“Lena, I would. But you have to promise me. Once you have all this figured out, you will go find Kara.” Lena shakes her head.

“I can't. I can't. I am no good for her.”

“Shouldn't that be her choice?”

“Jess, I slept with someone else, mere hours after breaking up with her in a voicemail. She found me with Veronica still in my bed. She will never forgive me. Not after her last boyfriend cheated on her.”

“How will you know if you don't try?”

“Can I promise to think about it? It's all too much right now.”

“I'll drop it for now. But I promised you I wouldn't let you screw this up and I'll be damned if I don't make you try to fix it.” Lena nods and pulls Jess in for one more hug.

They part ways as Lena gets in her car to head home. Home. Such a foreign word for Lena but it was nice. It was like she was no longer floating on an empty sea. She had an island to return to at the end of the day. Despite this heaviness waving her down, it lessened the moment she stepped in the door. She stood there a moment in the entrance. She could hear Sam in the kitchen making dinner. The warm smells of a roasting chicken and sauteing vegetables as they sizzled in the pan. Soft piano sounds wafted from the second floor as Ruby practiced. Pictures of the mother and daughter lined the walls. There were one or two that included Lena. Despite still being fairly new to this house, Sam had made this place feel like home. Lena felt at home. She made her way down the hall and to the kitchen. Same sang along to music on her phone while she stirred the vegetables.

“Hey,” Lena says softly. Sam turns to her and immediately sets down the spoon to wrap her in a hug.

“Hey, what happened?”

“Well I now own the majority of LexCorp, more houses and condos than I will ever need, and I am the CEO to a company I haven't set foot in since my father died.”

“Oh, wow. So you have to leave?”

“I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. Jess is going to work as CFO until I decide. I just need time. After everything, I need time to figure out what I want.” Lena’s words unconsciously echo the words of Kara’s message that she has listened to more than she can count.

“Okay. Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes. Go change and we will eat.”

Lena nods. She will feel better out of the dress she wore to the lawyer's office. It took hours to get through all the paperwork and she was so tired. Food and sleep would help.

February 22nd, 2018

It was weird for Lena to back in Metropolis. Jess had been putting out fires like a madwoman. Jess. She was a blessing for the millionth time in Lena's life. Jess had swooped into LexCorp and immediately began shutting down any questionable operation. From the updates Lena received, they were spread far and wide. Also very well hidden. It was amazing that Clark Kent was able to find enough to expose her brother. Although it wasn't far of a leap with their father being who he was. Then also figuring out that Lillian was running the criminal organization that Lex was funding. The one slowly taking over National City and creeping out to the rest of the world like a cancer. A cancer that Power Girl had been fighting with a new vengeance as far as Lena could tell. Lillian had contacted Lena to try and get her to continue funding Cadmus but Lena bluntly refused. Resulting in threats that Lena knew were anything but idle but choose to ignore for the most part. Lena did hire on extra security for herself and purchase a high-end security system.

But none of that mattered here. The elegant showroom packed with people draped in their most expensive clothes trying to impress each other. Lena was smiling and shaking hands with people as she introduced herself. Jess had asked her to be here. It was a fundraising art exhibit. Wealthy could buy art from rising artists and outbid each other in a silent auction. The auction money went to something that Lena didn't pay much attention to. Lena wouldn't have come anywhere near an art exhibit if it weren't for Jess. It was just too hard. Reminded her too much of Kara to be near any form of art like this. Jess had begged her to come, to help rebuild the Luthor name and company.

Lena couldn’t say no to Jess, not after everything she had done for her. So Lena flew to Metropolis, put on a fancy and expensive dress, and shook hands with anyone Jess directed her towards.

“Lena Luthor.” That wasn't a voice Lena expected to hear in Metropolis. She turned to come face to face with the Queen of all Media.

“Cat Grant. I didn't expect to see you here.”

“I’m here in place of an artist who couldn't make it.”

“And who might that be?”

“I think you will know once you see their section,” Cat said as she motioned for Lena to follow, making her way to a corner of the Gallery.

Lena stopped dead in her tracks when she saw it. A dark-haired woman, sitting under a tree looking away from the perspective, book open in her lap and a smile playing at the corner of her lips. It was beautiful. It was full of love. It was her. Lena stared at her own likeness, at how Kara saw her. It was the day in the park after Lena surprised Kara in National City. The feelings of happiness and soft beauty were repeated in several other paintings as well. Lena was distinguishable in all of them by the dark hair or the barley visible green eyes. The others though, those were pained. Tainted by much less cheery colors and harsh brush strokes. Love still seeped through every line. Anger and heartbreak bubbled under the surface, just barely tangible through the overall feeling of love. Some were hued in fiery reds and oranges, others saddened by deep blues and stormy greys. Lena was sure her stomach dropped through the floor as her heart stopped beating.

“She was too busy to come, but I brought these for sale along with her original painting for the CatCo cover signed by herself and I for the auction. I believe it will do fairly well.” Lena stopped listening.

Unconsciously, Lena is drawn to one of the paintings, it's her, but it's not her. The figure is half turned away, tangled in bedsheets, hair a mess. Beautiful. Perfect. The whole canvas is bright and soft. The one next to it is a very stark contrast. Two embracing figures on the street, one with black hair, the other with brown. The colors were all muted with reds and blacks and browns. The sky a dark gray. Every stroke was harsh and sloppy but the meaning was clear to Lena. Kara was in so much pain over finding her with Veronica. The same Veronica that broke Lena’s heart. Lena snatches back the hand that she suddenly becomes aware that she has reached up and almost touched the painting. Lena’s chest aches. The entirety of their relationship was laid out in these canvases, all from Kara’s perspective. Shouldn’t that be her choice? Why was Jess so damn wise. Lena had taken all this from Kara. She had taken what she wanted, what she feared, without even thinking about Kara. She looks at Cat Grant watching her closely.

“I have to go,” Lena says softly, hot tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Go.” Is all Cat says, once Lena escapes the crowd she calls her driver and instructs him to go to the airport.

“Alana, get me a plane ticket on the first flight to National City. No, I don’t want the family jet, it will take too long to prepare. Just get me there.” Lena says into the phone, not letting the assistant speak, just answering the question she knew was coming and hanging up. The new assistant tended to ask too many questions and wasn’t as good as Jess.

The flight takes too long. It's too much time to think and agonize over what she needs to say to Kara. Really all she knows is she needs Kara. To calm herself and to organize her thoughts, Lena flags down a flight attendant and asks for pen and paper. Writing was always a way for Lena to sort out her feelings. By the time the wheels touch down, Lena has lyrics to at least two more songs and half the compositions done that she stuffs in her clutch for later. She hadn't even changed out of the uncomfortable dress from the Gala. As soon as she reached the airport she had to get on her flight, Alana paying the airline with Lena’s credit card to hold the doors open for Lena.

Lena looks for the driver who Alana promised would be waiting. She spies him with her name plastered on a sign and follows him to the curb where the sleek black car is waiting. The man holds the door open and Lena quickly slides in. She jumps when she realizes she is not alone. Across from her are the cold, hard eyes of Lillian Luthor.

“Hello dear. Thank you so kindly for coming to me. I was afraid I was going to have to send someone to Metropolis.” Lena scrambles for the door handle but it doesn't budge.

“What do you want, mother?” Lena says icily, trying to calm herself.

“Why, what I always wanted. For my daughter to join the family business.” Lena scoffs.

“I was never your daughter, you made it quite clear I was never good enough for this family.”

“I disapproved with some of your choices, that’s what most mothers do.”

“Again, why are you here?”

Lillian sighs in exasperation.

“Cadmus must have the support from LexCorp or it will never reach its goal.”

“What goal is that mother?”

“To bring order to the people. Our government is failing us. It is time we started over. It is time for a much more structured society. To make America great again. Cadmus can make that happen. We have already secured most of National City from gangs. We protect those who want us to.”

“Don’t bullshit me, mother. I have read the news. Violence spikes in every area you ‘protect’ until suddenly it stops. But some of those areas are near bankrupt because they are paying you protection fees to be protected from the very people they are paying. I will not be a part of this. Lex left me the company and I’ll be damned if it continues down this route.”

“I was afraid you would say that. Very well, we will get our money another way. But you, you, I can use to take out a very annoying vigilante.”

Before Lena can retort, Lillian holds something up while taking a handkerchief to cover her mouth. An aerosol sprays in Lena’s face and she barely has time to think, shit, before blackness overtakes her.

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #singer #Vigilante #au #WTFU #fanfiction

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xaz-fr · 6 years ago

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I will add links when I get access to a computer because mobile Tumblr hates letting you easily edit text lols. On this hell site? Very likely. But everything is in the #zs tag on my blog at the least until then.

Set in a fantasy world of the semi socialist society Fey Alliance with magic, dick head dragon riders, benevolent necromancers, and even bigger dick head gods of mischief. The Zealous Servant is the story about a guy named Spayar who, has to keep his crown prince of a bff from being murdered by his entire family by murdering them first. But Spayar just wants to take a nap and find a cute boy to kiss and not have to worry about his corpse potentially being dragged through the street after a war. Better win that shit then.

I will only ping this particular list once and if you want to be pinged like or reblog this post. In the wake of Tumblr going tits up its even more important to reblog works that you like. So please consider doing so.

@girllikewisdom @enjoythewolfs @asnakewithwingsisadragon @fyreeprince @ispyatobert @frxemriss @madamecoyote @leprechaunsean @xangelstearsx @golden-lionsnake @deadpool-scar-bro @starry-ampelope @kami-mint

DiSol is a good boy who really doesn't deserve the shit I eventually do to him lol. Also gods I love Tassa so much she's great and I'm glad she's got a bigger role in the rewrite :D

Spayar knew something was in his room as soon as he opened the door. It wasn't a feeling that something bad was going to happen, just that something was out of place. There were no candles or lamps lit and the shutters were drawn closed against the nearly constant autumn rain in Assarus so it was difficult to see but he was a mage and a warrior and knew when things were off. Something felt off now and the part of Spayar that wasn't that brave at all wanted to just step back and head back downstairs and get his dad to deal with it like he had when he was nine and made him check under the bed for mud rats- a mythical rat creature with golden eyes and slimy brown fur that crawled into your mouth at night to suffocate you. He couldn't though because he was nineteen and a grown ass man and fully capable. He hated being an adult.

He stepped into his room and kept his power close. Nothing happened. He looked around, squinting into the shadows but still saw nothing. He waited a moment before he was satisfied he was just being paranoid. He went over to one of the lamps on his dresser and turned it back up to illuminate the room when he felt something behind him.

Spayar didn't have time to react, "You're home!" a high pitched voice cried, nearly right in Spayar's ear and he flinched as he was tackled, first by one body, then by a second, and finally a third and he couldn't remain standing and they all fell to the floor in a heap.

"Ahg!" Spayar yelled and found his siblings crawling all over him and realized what had happened. They'd been waiting for him up here when they probably saw him in the shed checking in on his horse and then saying hello to their mother. "Get off!" he howled and his three siblings laughed and did no such thing, clinging to his neck and waist. "Mom!" he yelled.

"What?" she called from downstairs.

"Help!"

His siblings giggled as he struggled to sit up and he heard his mother coming up the stairs. A moment later she arrived in the doorway and laughed at what she saw, Calli, Anora and Duren all piled up on top of Spayar in the most uncomfortable position. "What are you three doing?" she asked them, a smile on her face, and put her hands on her hips.

"Spayar's home mama," Anora said cheerfully, she had her arms around Spayar's neck, head under his chin.

"Yes I can see that," Relora said with a smile, amused by her eldest son's predicament. "I think he'd like to be able to stand up though."

"I would, yes," Spayar gasped because Duren was laying on his stomach and for only eight Duren already had their father's thick frame and body and was heavy. His little siblings giggled but when Relora told them to get up they did. Duren and Calli helped to drag Spayar to his feet. He took stock of himself and made sure he wasn't hurt.

"You three let your brother have a moment, he just came back from the west," Relora said.

"Are you staying longer than last time Spayar?" Calli asked. Gods she looked even more grown up than when Spayar had seen her a few weeks ago. It might have been the clothes, which were fashionable and the way she wore her hair. Spayar could already foresee his father growling at all the suitors his little sister would have soon, especially with a brother like Spayar. At least if he stayed as important as he was. He may very well be dead in the next year.

"Something wrong sweetie?" his mom asked him. Thinking about the coup made his chest tight, made him stare death in the face. If Von was killed there was no way the Asuras would let him live. He was too close to Von, too loyal. He'd never bend on another Le'Acard. He was d'alaer. It would be Von, or no one.

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something," he smiled a little. "And I will be staying until his royal highness comes back from his trip at the least.”

"Do you know how long that is?" she asked.

"No but hopefully longer," he shook his head, "though the rains will keep everyone inside for a while,” they always did at the start of fall when the Meltong Basin started its wet season which was its autumn, it petered off after Lugalsta in the beginning of Lun usually. "He's coming from the coast though so I should have plenty of time to slack off," he grinned.

"Yes," Duren looked up at Spayar in delight, "will you teach me how to ride Spayar?" he asked.

"Ride a horse?" Duren nodded eagerly. Spayar cocked his head at his brother. Common folk in Assarus didn't normally have horses, his family hadn't had one until Von had given Spayar his mare a few years ago. His father had built the shed next to the house for her when Spayar was home. "Why?"

"Because I want to," Duren said.

"Uh," he looked at his mother.

"He's been bothering your father about it," his mother said.

"He said if you said yes he'd give me time out of the forge to practice," Duren said seriously.

"If I have time," Spayar said and that seemed good enough for Duren. He announced he was going to tell their dad and wiggled through the door their mother was still standing in.

"C'mon you two, let your brother take a bath," Relora said and shepherded her daughters out of the bedroom, closing the door after them to give him some privacy.

Spayar sighed once he was gone and could finally put his things away. He turned on another one of the lamps as he pulled out his dirty laundry for cleaning and put his weapons and bag away. He didn't travel with much and was used to packing up and leaving quickly. He rolled his eyes at the thought of Von summoning him when they were younger to go hunting or to visit some friend of his outside of Assarus for a few days. He was taking off his leather jacket when he felt the wrongness again and stopped as he undid the first buckle near his throat and looked around his room again. Someone was still in here with him, not just his little sisters and brother.

"Who's there?" he asked, there was no answer, "I know you're there; show yourself I don't have time for games." He honestly wasn't expecting anyone, but giving voice to his paranoia made him feel better. So when a piece of shadow broke off from one of the high corners of his ceiling and fell to the floor with a soft thud Spayar froze and went cold.

Spayar swallowed at what rose from the little puddle of darkness; a lonth. Lords of shadows they were all wizards or mages and lethal with any weapon including their hands. The Adoshade were one of the most southern houses in the Alliance before you hit the Kas’sca and incredibly small but powerful. This one in front of him wore his Shroud tight to his body, making his skin black and shiny like a bug's carapace, only his face and hair revealed. He was older than Spayar by only perhaps three years with nearly ruddy skin with black eyes and hair and looked like a Black Foot though removed some generations from the original people who lived within the lands of the LoHanJo'in province.

"Are you Spayar Hillsman junior?" the lonth asked, despite being from the coast like Peonia and the Garden which had similar accents that were quick, rolling and beautiful the Shade had a starkly different one that made them sound sort of slow. The Black Foot language was very meandering and since the Shade had come from the Black Foot their accent mimicked that.

"I am, who are you?” Spayar said.

"My name is DiSol Adoshade," they bowed a little to him, "Second son of LouSai, Shadow Lord." That made Spayar uneasy.

"What can I do for you DiSol?" Spayar asked keeping as calm as possible. Von said that the Adoshade had been quiet lately and killed anyone who came into their province, or at least any spies never returned. But it was the Adoshade, the Adoshade did not allow survivors to those they considered traitors.

"You are the d'alaer of Vondugard Le'Acard are you not?" he asked.

"I am."

"A worthy thing to give your life for then," and Spayar grabbed his power in case DiSol attacked him. DiSol didn't move towards him and Spayar realized that if DiSol had wanted to kill him he could have done it already or if he wanted to know Spayar wouldn't be able to stop him, lonths never let a target live.

"What do you want?"

“We need help and the Shadow Lord is dying,” he said.

"Excuse me?" dropping his power in pure shock. The Shadow Lord was dying?

"Virilia," the Asuras, "has sent my father threats if he does not cooperate. I'm sure you've heard we have closed the borders of our province to outsiders," Spayar nodded, "my father is very sick and has put my older brother in charge of defending DisAdo and keeping the house safe." Spayar knew DiSol's older brother, CoLan, nearly everyone in the Alliance knew him, they called him the Dawn Demon and he was a monster, the strongest lonth there had ever been. Ruthless and cunning without a good thing about him he was said to have no conscious and did his duty for the pleasure of the kill. "My brother is not a good leader," DiSol said and his Shroud retreated back from his body like seeping water revealing his gray mottled clothing, his Shroud becoming a cape behind him.

"I don't see why you need me."

"My brother has been killing Virilia's spies when they come and see what is going on in LoHanJo'in as well as anyone else who crosses from the Relua province into ours. I managed to convince him to let normal people to pass through unscathed but he doesn't like it. As I said, Virilia is sending my father threats, my brother sees them instead because he is acting Shadow Lord. He has gone into the Boggarts to find Black Foot to raise an army." Spayar paled, another house who wanted to raise an army. Black Foot used a type of magic that robbed people of their free will, they were puppet masters and if you had a band of Black Foot shamen in your army you could make the enemy dance for you. At least those were the stories. He hadn’t heard of an actual puppeteer in decades. "Virilia said that if we do not bend by the spring she will send an Arm to wipe us out and remind us that the Le'Acard rule the south, not the Adoshade and we will be an example to all the other houses."

"CoLan is gone now?" DiSol nodded, "Who is running DisAdo now?"

"With my brother gone, I am. My father sent me here to beg," he'd never heard of a lonth begging before. "My father says that a Le'Acard who managed to find themselves a d'alaer were good, better than most. The other princes or princesses couldn't help us, they wouldn't be able to move quickly enough. But His Highness Vondugard-" he seemed lost for words for a moment. "CoLan will be gone until spring, until then I am running DisAdo.”

"Vondugard has till then to move," Spayar said softly.

DiSol nodded, "When my brother returns he will set his army at the border of LoHanJo'in and wait for Virilia to move against him. If he does we will lose. We may win the battle but we will be crippled. Our harvests have been horrible this year, our resources will be tight on our people as it is, let alone needing to feed and supply my brother’s army. A small army of lonths can hold back one branch of the Alliance army but the Alliance is a bottomless well of people. Virilia will just find more people, send the other Arms. We will be crushed."

"I understand," Spayar said, nodding, thinking quickly. This was a lot to take in. He wasn't aware the situation with the Adoshade was quite so dire. And the bad harvests weren’t just effecting the central Alliance. Even somewhere as far away as LoHanJo’in was suffering, like a malevolent hand of a god was pressed across the land. He needed to find out what other provinces would also suffer a food shortage this year once the harvest was brought in. One thing at a time though. He needed to focus on DiSol and making sure he could handle what was needed there. "Can you promise Vondugard lonths when it is time?"

"I will give you as many as you want. The Shade need a new Asuras. We will not exist past the spring if Virilia remains where she is."

"Why didn't you just go to Vondugard himself with this?"

“Spies follow him everywhere. I am good, but I'm not invisible. And we know you have his ear. We know you will speak for him." Spayar came up short on that. He did? Since when? "Do we have his Highness' help?"

"Yes," Spayar said, "You do.” If they were going to die in the Conflict might as well try to come out on top first. “We will move as soon as we can. Try to stall your brother, the Asuras' furies are short lived she may not send an army to you. But if what you're telling me comes to pass you're saying we have till the end of winter to prepare," DiSol nodded. "What about your father?"

"He's sick."

"With what?"

"We don't know, and we don't know if he'll get better soon. It may be a long illness," DiSol frowned. "He sees the error of putting my brother in command, but he's too sick for his orders to remove CoLan to be taken seriously. My brother just says our father is sick and doesn't know what he's saying."

"He's really a demon," Spayar said.

DiSol smiled a little, fractured, smile, "It's why they call him the Dawn Demon," he said.

"Return to DisAdo and tell your father Vondugard will help you. I also want to send a healer with you to look at your father."

"We have some of the best-

"It wasn't a request," Spayar said, "I know if my father was sick I'd want all the help I could get."

DiSol looked up at Spayar with grateful eyes, he bowed a little, "Thank you Hillsman," he said.

"Also tell your father that when he's better he must ensure that your brother can never take the Seat of Shadows," Spayar said. "I don't care how but the Dawn Demon is too volatile to be Shadow Lord."

"I agree," DiSol said.

"That is the price for the prince's help, that his eldest son can never become Shadow Lord."

"A price he will be willing to pay," DiSol said.

"Give me a day to find my healer friend, she will go with you back to DisAdo and see to your father."

"You're too kind. I will give you to the ninth morning bell tomorrow," DiSol said and Spayar nodded. "Thank you Hillsman," he said again.

"Make sure the Shade are ready to move in the spring."

"We will be, I promise," and his Shroud once again wrapped around his body, turning him into a black insect and then it covered his face, only his black eyes visible. He bowed to Spayar and then went to the window and eased the shutters open. DiSol climbed onto the sill and instead of dropping like Spayar expected DiSol stood up and climbed onto the roof, a black tendril of his Shroud snaking down and closing the shutters, locking them behind him. Spayar shuttered.

He stood there a few moments, looking at the shutters before everything seemed accelerated. He needed to get another letter out to Galinsum to Sinso that whatever progress he'd made on those grenados needed to happen faster. There was an accelerated time table. He jotted it down, folded it and shoved it into an envelope to take to the post office. This needed wyrm postage. It needed to get to Galinsum now.

And he had to go see Mali, convince her to leave with DiSol and make the Shadow Lord well. And this was on top of all the other things he needed to get done in the time between Von returning from the gut, hopefully with good news about X’vazior at the least and hopefully others as well. What he needed was for Tassa to be home. He needed her.

He sealed the envelope with his personal mark and then spelled it so that if anyone but the intended recipient opened it it would burst into flames. He added an extra weave under that one so that if someone touched the top weave to investigate it that weave would trigger anyway. He rebuckled his leather jacket and grabbing the letter went back downstairs.

"Spayar where are you going?" his mother called as he grabbed his hat from the rack by the door

"Post office, then to see a friend, be right back," Spayar said, tucking the letter inside his jacket's breast pocket.

“Will you be back for dinner?”

“Yes,” Spayar said, looking at her through the window in the wall between the kitchen and the dining room. He could smell the wonderful food she was preparing.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, standing a bit more in view, the ceremonial scars on her forehead nearly touching from her furrowed brown.

He looked at her and frowned. He'd just cut his own life nearly in half with his agreement to help the Adohade. Before he'd had a year till the coup. With his declaration to help the Adohade he'd shortened it to just a few months. "No," he said and then turned and walked out the side door. Outside it was raining and Spayar put his wide, waterproof, hat on and walked off into the storm.

—

The rain during the fall was nearly constant in the Meltong Basin, and of course that was exactly where the winter capital was located, at the center of the Alliance. Spayar was watching the rain outside and people rush around under the awnings lining the sidewalks, or hunched over on horses or buggies. In the house it was warm and dry.

Mali was in the kitchen with his mother and he could hear the two of them talking, but wasn’t paying attention to their words. The sun had risen two bells ago but the sunlight was wane, wet, and gray. He was waiting for the ninth morning bell when DiSol would show himself and he and Mali would return to the LoHanJo'in province and DisAdo

He looked over when someone sat next to him, it was Calli. His perfect, proper, sixteen year old sister with more sense in her head than just about anyone Spayar knew. She was wearing a morning gown that came to her knees and had little yellow horses embroidered on it. She looked like she'd just woken up but yet was alert and keen. "Good morning," he said.

"Morning," she yawned a little, putting her hand over her mouth. "You're up early. Usually when his highness is away you sleep in."

"Busy," Spayar said, leaning against the arm of the chair. "Can't sleep now," literally. He'd tossed and turned all night and had dreams of a red eyed necromancer standing over his grave reading from the Red Book to summon a necrell that would take his soul to the Shadowed Lands. He hadn't been able to sleep after that nightmare.

"Busy with what?"

"It doesn't matter to you," he waved her inquiry away.

"Why, cause I'm a girl?" she asked.

He looked at her and laughed in her face, "Calli, I would never be so stupid as to keep a matter away from someone for as trivial a thing as gender. It doesn't matter to you because it literally has no bearing on your life if you know, and is better if you didn't know anyway."

"Why?"

"Because your brother is doing a very bad thing," he said softly looking away.

"Which is?"

He gave her a look, "If you're lucky you won't ever know," he said and looked back out the window. He could see the big bell tower from here, through the rain, its face illuminated from the inside, and knew it was close to the ninth bell.

"Spayar," Calli asked after a few minutes. He 'hmm'd at her. "Will you introduce me to some nobles?"

"Why would you want to do that?" though he didn't look at her.

"Because I want an interesting, wealthy, husband," and Spayar looked at her so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash.

"What?" he squeaked.

"I said-

"I know what you said," he waved her words away impatiently. "Calli, you're sixteen, and a commoner. You aren't obligated to marry," he reminded her.

"I know, but I will marry someone, someday."

"And you're sure you'll have a husband?" he challenged.

Calli came up short, she hadn't thought of that. Her brother would never have a wife like Duren probably would. He would never have children either. She thought about the implications of her sexuality for a moment, mulled them over and then said, "Yes, I will have a husband. I like boys, you're a good role model for liking boys," she smiled at him and he smacked her knee playfully, making her giggle. "And I want a good one. A courageous, handsome, wealthy, noble, husband," she said.

"Heh, well I can tell you bidi, those types of men are few and far between. Also why would you want a noble?"

"Because I never want to worry if something happens to us," Calli said. "Mama is always worried about you and I'm old enough to realize that if something happened to you..." she bit her lips, "dooim might not get as much business." He knew what she was saying. If he died in a coup, fighting against someone who beat Von, he'd be a traitor, and his family would be cast in that shadow. No one would want what his father made.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Spayar promised. "And you don't want a noble husband. Nobles are awful. Trust me, I know plenty."

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

She blinked and knew she needed to proceed carefully. She licked her lips before saying, "Aren't you in love with a noble?"

"What? No,” he scoffed

"So you're not in love with the prince?" and Spayar's face went slack and he flushed brilliantly, the color probably showing a bit on his dark skin. She smiled a little, "You have no room to talk about wanting a noble husband," she said.

He scowled at her, "It is a completely different situation. Vondugard is my best friend and my prince, of course I love him."

"You know what I mean."

"You're completely delusional," he waved her off. "And you don't want a stupid, prideful, noble for a husband. You're sixteen, and too young and good for most of them."

"I won't know unless I meet them though will I?" she asked.

"No," he said sternly.

"At least let me come to her highness' Talalsalla's naming day party this year," she begged. “Please,” she put both hands over her heart in a begging fashion. “I promise I’ll be good.”

He huffed through his nose and puffed his cheeks out a bit. She gave him her best doe eyes. "Fine," he grunted and rolled his eyes a bit.

She got out of the chair and hugged him tightly, "Thank you. Thank you,” and then kissed him on both cheeks and between the eyes.

"Yeah yeah," and the clock started to ring. Nine bells. "Now I need to go do stuff," he pushed her off gently and stood. "Mali," he called and went to the kitchen. His mother and Mali were in there standing at the kitchen table. Relora was packing Mali a bag of food while Mali tried to say she didn't need it but Relora just shushed her and packed it anyway. Spayar's eyes went to the window as the shutter eased itself open and a dark, man shaped, mass slipped into the kitchen. If Spayar hadn't been looking at the window he'd have missed it and it would be as if DiSol had just appeared.

"Having fun?" Spayar asked them.

"Your mother is too kind," Mali said, slightly beside herself.

"Nonsense. We're having a bad harvest this year and I doubt you'll be able to get as good of food as this elsewhere,” Relora said kindly. “And Dirinnan food is made to put meat on those bones,” and she patted Mali’s belly with all the gentle love a mother could muster.

“Relora-

“I insist,” Relora said firmly.

Mali sighed a bit theatrically. “Fine. Is he here?" Mali asked turning to Spayar. Spayar had told her why she was going to LoHanJo'in and why it was important she make LouSai well as soon as possible. She'd been very against it at first but like always he convinced her. It wasn't good having a soft heart around Spayar, he'd abuse if for all he could and despite her hard exterior Mali had a very soft heart.

"I am," and Mali and Relora both turned when DiSol spoke, standing behind them. Thankfully he wasn't wearing his Shroud over him, so he looked rather normal. "This is the healer you spoke of?" he asked Spayar, looking at Mali.

"Yes, this is Mali Thralluk," he said, "Mali, this is DiSol Adoshade."

"Never met a lonth before," she looked him up and down, "I expected them to be taller." DiSol frowned at her but didn't take the bait. Mali turned back to Relora, "Thank you so much Relora, you're too good to me."

"Of course dear. Any friend of Spayar's is always welcome at our home and table."

“We should leave, before the rain gets worse,” DiSol said emotionlessly.

”Right, c’mon,” he nodded to Mali and DiSol and they followed him out of the kitchen. Despite just being out in the rain DiSol wasn't wet so he didn't have to worry about the lonth tracking water into the house. They left the house and stood under the second story overhang that looked out onto the side yard. While he'd been gone his mother had picked some of the produce and that made him nervous. Usually she only picked the produce when there was a fear of it wilting or being washed away by the rains. She'd picked it early. "Mali is aware of the situation," he told DiSol, who nodded, "while she's there she'll be acting as Vondugard's voice."

"Does she have the same authority as you?" DiSol asked.

Mali and Spayar looked at one another. Neither of them kidded themselves in who was higher, who held more weight and authority, "No," he said. "But if she promises something for Vondugard it's likely to be carried out," he gave Mali a look to make sure she knew not to fuck it up. He trusted her though, After Tassa and Von Mali was one of his oldest friends, even if they hadn’t started on perhaps the most honest of terms. “She knows what to do, do you?"

"When we return to LoHanJo'in I'll keep my brother occupied and away from DisAdo for as long as I can."

"I'll send the summons for aid through Mali. You march on her say," DiSol looked at her and then nodded slowly. "Good," Spayar wracked his brain, what else could he do? Not much. He'd done everything he could really. "Safe journey," he kissed Mali on her cheeks and between her eyes, "Make the Shadow Lord well," he ordered.

"He'll be skipping through fields of flowers in no time," she promised him with a smile.

"I'll hold you to that.”

"Let's go," DiSol said seriously, "I've already been away from LoHanJo'in long enough. I need to get back."

"Goodbye Spayar," Mali said.

"Keep her safe," Spayar said sternly as he saw the two to the high walled fence, rain splattering across Spayar’s head. Mali's horse was in the shed with his own mare and she went to get it.

"You have my word," DiSol said, "no harm will come to her."

"I can take care of myself," Mali said, “I did my time, remember?” she gave him a look.

"Just let me worry a little," Spayar half pleaded.

She grinned, "We'll see you in spring," and DiSol drew his Shroud over his body and face as Mali put on her wide hat, mounted her horse and entered the rain again trotting out to the road, her horse seemed miserable. She waved and then turned the corner onto the road and was out of sight. A half moment later Spayar saw a black shadow streak after her. Spayar frowned after them. There was nothing he could do now. He'd done all he could. He closed the door and went back inside.

—

It was drizzling miserably while Spayar walked down the road bundled against the wet, his wide hat casting rain over his shoulder in a sick dribble. It never got cold in Assarus but it did get chilly and fall had come with a vengeance, dumping feet of rain in short order with the promise of more. It was expected in Assarus even this early in the fall. Asurala had started now and they had five weeks of miserable rain until it petered out in Neyjarra and finally stopped in Lun save for the normal rain storm until spring started and the Meltong flooded from the snow out west in the Spine melting.

He was in the middle of Uptown close to the mouth of the lake that the city surrounded. Tassa’s apartment was around here. Her father had bought it for her. Part to give her independence and part to get her to stop having sex all over his house. Spayar liked Kenna, he was nice, if having the personality of a mouse. He had always struggled to keep Tassa in line. Spayar didn't know where Tassa got it.

He was grateful to get out of the drizzle as he stepped into the foyer of a nice building. It was warm and dry inside with a guard desk who's main duty was to protect the mail slots along the front of the desk, keep any large packages, and call the actual guards should there be any need. Spayar shook himself just a bit on the mat inside the door to get the worst of the water off before stepping into the shiny wooden floors.

“Hello, can I help you?” the desk guard asked.

“Is Tassa Peony home?” he asked.

“I didn't see her leave this morning and the night guard didn't give any indication she hadn't been in all night.”

“Great,” Spayar said and signed his name on the guestbook. “I’m a friend,” he added.

“The young miss has lots of those,” the guard eyed him.

“No like actually,” Spayar chuckled and left the desk without saying much else.

Tassa had a ground floor apartment with a front porch onto the courtyard the building surrounded. As he got near he passed through the gentle cobwebs of a magical weave Tassa had coccooned the entrance of her home in. She might have been the daughter of a noble but that didn't mean the guards wouldn't have a good reason to arrest her. A bored mind and quick hands tended to get that sort of negative attention that would warrant such a weave. Spayar just coated his fingers in magic and gently pushed aside the ornately constructed threads that looked a lot like a larger and more complex version of the one on the back of his bedroom door. He just didn't need them touching him. Had he not been looking through magic he wouldn't have even seen it much less felt it.

He knocked inside the pocket free of magic right against the door. He made sure to knock loudly. Tassa came to the door after a solid minute of him knocking wearing a shift that was barely hanging off one shoulder her hair more disrupted than simple bed head would do. “Spayar?” she squinted at him. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

He looked at the clock on the post in the center of the courtyard, “It’s chems, Tassa,” he said.

“What? Chems?” she grumbled a little, “I stayed up too late.”

“Yes. May I come in, we need to talk.”

“Sure. I'll make something,” she yawned and waved him in.

Tassa’s apartment was as though a storm had ripped through it. It was one bedroom and bath and a living room and things lay in disarray all over. Papers and dishes were arranged hazardously on flat surfaces, brushes and makeup products lay scattered across tables and the floor. The couch looked more like a bed and a large pipe was leaned up against the wall. Spayar didn't mention any of it and just joined Tassa in her tiny kitchen where she was carelessly etching a weave in the air with magic coated fingers. The heat ring started glowing almost instantly. She put a pot from above on it and fingers still coated in magic connected two pieces of a larger weave together that caused the sink faucet to open and water to pour directly from it into the pot. It would disintegrate over time to stop the pot from overflowing.

She slouched onto the table across from Spayar, pulling a slender leg up to rest on the seat of the chair, casually brushing her hair with her fingers with mixed success. “Have fun last night?” he asked her, smiling.

“You’re lucky you're so pretty,” she groaned and rubbed her face. “Me and the girls went out last night down to the Den, got into some trouble.”

“Nothing serious?”

“Not even,” she sighed, “just welcoming me home.” As she said that a man left her bedroom, looked at the two of them and hustled out. Another bustled out quickly after him.

“Fun huh?”

“Would have been more fun with you around,” she said and rubbed the top of his hand.

“You know I don't like white guys,” he said with a grin.

“Well, most white guys,” she said.

“I assure you I don't know what that means.”

She pulled her hand back, “So what's up?” she asked and looked at the last person to stumble out of her bedroom. This was a lady in much better condition than the two men. “You the last one, love?” Tassa called.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah I think so,” she grinned at Tassa. Spayar vaugely recognized her meaning it was a friend of Tassa’s who didn't run in their circle. “You’re buying next time,” she waved as she left.

“She seems nice.”

“Uhhhhg, she's so hot I hate herrrr,” Tassa groaned and leaned on one arm.

Spayar laughed. “Yeah I can relate,” he said with a grin. Tassa got up and took the boiling water off the heat rim, deactivating the weave with a crook of her finger and poured the water into two mugs. She scooped an herbal mixture into two tea balls and put them into the cups. From a cupboard she produced beet sugar cubes, stained slightly pink for effect, some strawberries and two day old bread that was partially eaten to go with the butter on the table.

“Chems,” she announced grandeously as she set the tea and food down between them.

“How gracious. Your father wouldn't even recognize you,” he said, not adding any sugar to his tea while Tassa added about six.

“Hardy har har,” she stirred her tea with a weave of magic that turned it into a mini maelstrom. “What are you doing here and not a more appropriate hour of the day?”

Spayar popped a strawberry into his mouth. “I heard the thief lord died.”

“Uhg, not this now,” she moved her hair in annoyance.

“You didn't mention it when I saw you.”

“I forgot and by the time I remembered I figured you'd know already,” she said and sipped her tea.

“What’s this Cross guy like?”

“Western fence who got a taste for the business way I heard it. Came from a city around Galinsum I think. Showed up in Assarus few months ago, killed Jackertty with their own knife. He doesn't like people.”

“You mean he doesn't like you.”

“He’s skittish around girls. Meet him and you'll see why- no. Spayar stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, leaning on the table a bit, giving her his best innocent eyes.

“You don't want to meet Cross. He’s not like Jackertty.”

“I know.”

“He’s way more cut throat.”

“We’d get along then.”

“Spayar I am serious!”

“Me too. I can't have some unknown entity in my city. I use his hands as my eyes. Pays to visit the boss.”

“Spayar I don't-

He leaned across the table and put his hand on hers, “Tassura,” he said gently like the bastard he was. “I need your help.”

Spayar-

“Please, Tassura?” he kept his voice low and sweet. Only he and her father were allowed to call her Tassura, her real name. It was a soft and intimate familiarity that wasn't allowed by most Aldashi outside of family or their lovers. It was a weakness Tassa didn't let anyone have over her other than those few she loved. Spayar was a real wretch for using it now and he knew it.

“I— guess I could,” she said softly.

“Thank you,” he squeezed her wrist gently and let her go. “How was your trip back with Vondugard?” The prince wasn't back I'm the city yet. He'd taken a long route around and detoured down Maker’s End to the land around and past Gorum, see if any help could be drummed up there.

“He needed you,” she said.

“He sent me ahead-

“I meant in the past two years. You could have waited to serve time.”

“Again, also something I couldn't control,” Spayar said.

“He’s soft, Spayar. I worry.” Not about Von, Tassa was worried about Spayar. “X’vazior almost said no.”

“But did he?”

“No. I lied for him.”

Spayar sighed and rubbed his face, “He’s too nice is what you're telling me?”

“He cares too much to be an effective emperor,” she used the Aldashi word for it but Spayar knew it. Kenna called Verilia emperor when he was pissed at her, or when he spoke ill of the princes and princesses. Wasn't fully bilingual in any one Alliance tongue but Spayar knew enough in a lot of them to get by.

“He’s too nice,” Spayar groaned, still rubbing his face. “He’s always too nice.”

“If you don't want to get killed when Teldin finally attacks he needs to toughen up.”

“I know,” he put his hands down and sipped his tea. Tassa had two strawberries, the red juice staining her olive lips. “You’ll set something up with Cross for me?”

She sipped her tea. “ What do I get? You're a deal maker.”

“What do you want? And don't say sex you know I like girls even less than white boys.”

“Oh, I gave that up years ago,” she lied. Spayar knew she hated it was a lie too. “How about you owe me one?”

“An unspecified favor? Tassa you were hanging around the Peony too much,” he smirked.

“Is that a yes?”

“So long as it isn't sex, sure.”

“It isn't,” she rolled her eyes.

“Then yes. A favor. Just keep it of similar magnitude?”

“I will. Are you going to stay for the rest of chems?” she worried the point of a strawberry with her index finger distastedly.

“I guess. You made me tea and everything. It doesn't have anything in it does it?”

“Of course not,” she scoffed and popped the entire strawberry into her mouth. “You enjoy I'm going to get some real clothes on,” and she got up. Spayar privately rolled his eyes. Her shift was barely long enough to cover her buttocks in the back. He sipped his tea and buttered some bread.

Tassa ended up throwing a final, third, man out of her house while he got dressed. They cast a furtive look at Spayar as they scuttled away and he just smiled and waved. They grimaced and bolted, fearing him being her actual boyfriend. He just enjoyed the rest of the chems until Tassa came back out, brushing her hair with a wide toothed brush to get it under some control. “Want some help feeding the afternoon birds? You know they like me,” she leaned against his shoulder luxuriously.

“I’d be remiss to say no,” he said. She grabbed another strawberry and went to put on some shoes. Spayar crammed the last bit of buttered bread into his mouth and shot the rest of his tea before following her. “It’s still raining, bring an umbrella.”

“Who do you take me for Spayar?” she asked and selected one of her six umbrellas in the stand by the door. This one was wide and deeply curved, rain cloud gray on the outside with a red lace trim and an array of red hibiscus on the inside. It matched her wine bodice and scaldingly red leather breeches that clung to her legs and hips in a way that was meant to be distracting.

“Of course, I forgot to whom I spoke,” he teased and opened the door. “After you, my lady,” he swept his arm out teasingly.

“Oh thank you, my Lord. How gracious,” she said with an extra girlishly giggle and stepped out of her front door. The rain had intensified while he'd been inside. He put his hat on before stepping out and locking the door. Tassa waved a hand at the door, locking a weave across the front like a cage to prevent entry.

“Shall we, my lady?” he asked, offering her his arm.

“Oh my Lord,” she batted her lashes at him making him chuckle as she took his offered arm and they left the building complex through the front. Tassa opened her umbrella, sheilding them from unwelcoming eyes as they headed for one of the places Spayar went to to hear the news from his birds.

#Writeblr #writblr #Original fiction #Fantasy #original fantasy #Zs #Zealous servant

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mocurlyshepard · 6 years ago

Text

My Life | Sodapop Curtis

"I'm taking you to the Doctors." Soda said softly to his twin.

Y/N was curled up on the couch in the living room watching early morning cartoons as Soda sat beside her on the floor.

It was a little weird with Soda sitting there being calm because he was usually rough with her, playing around, knocking her left and right. Now it seemed as if he'd die worrying about his sister. He hadn't left her side since early this morning.

"Soda, I don't need a damn doctor." She says while rolling her eyes.

She turns and faces the wall, her back to Soda and the tv, hearing him huff in response.

"Y/N, you've been throwing up for days now." he reasons.

"Its probably just a bug." She replies flatly. "Anyway, go to work why don't you?"

She turns and looks at his worrisome face, realizing he wasn't going to work and that he took off. Knowing Soda, he probably took off for the rest of the week.

"I'll cook you some food, then we'll go to the doctor. If they say you're clear I might go into work. You don't want me to call Darry, do you?"

Y/N rolls her eyes. As if she needed both her brothers on her back about her feeling sick. She didn't want to stress Darry out even more, lately he hadn't been himself.

"Don't call him.. And don't make me nothing."

Just the thought of food made Y/N want to throw up. She couldn't even imagine how it would be if it actually settled in her stomach, she hadn't ate in days besides water and crackers. She barely even left the house, Evie and Sylvia hadn't seen her in days.

"I'm not hungry. 'Sides, I can't keep anything down."

"Then we're going right now." Soda said while tying his sneakers on.

"Okay, Dad." Y/N snorted.

She hated when Soda tried to have some type of authority over her. They were twins, and if she remembered right, she was born before him, but that didn't stop him from being over protective.

The ride to the Doctors was uncomfortable, smelly, and bumpy. Y/N was wearing a pair of Sodas old pants, that now belonged to Ponyboy and an old shirt. Darry had the car so it would make no sense if she wore something nice to the bus, the outside world had constant triggers to make her sick. Soda made her carry a paper bag "Just in case".

Y/N and Soda sat patiently together in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting to hear the results of the random tests they decided to do. Y/N rested her head on Sodas shoulder as he read a newspaper talking about work and a person Ponyboy liked at school. She listened to his voice, closing her eyes occasionally to ease the burning from her lack of sleep.

"Thanks for taking me to the Doctors." Y/N said softly.

"Don't mention it." Soda said before flashing his famous grin.

Y/N sat up one the doctor came back into the waiting room. He had a stern look on his face and y/N felt her palms getting sweaty.

"Ms. Curtis. We have your results." he said. His eyes scanned the folder a few more times before looking up at y/N and Soda. "It says that you're pregnant."

Y/N looked at Soda and the doctor. It had only been one time, she couldn't even imagine being a mother right now.

"I'll leave you guys to talk about it."

Y/N didn't know how to react, all she could feel was her heart pounding through her chest, her stomach becoming uneasy yet again. She could barely meet Sodapops eyes, his hands were balled into fists and the only emotion he was showing disappointment.

"Soda-" Y/N begins.

But he doesn't bother to hear what she had to say, he quickly storms out of the doctors office and walks to the bus stop with y/N on his heels. He storms on the bus, throwing the coins in the slot and sitting in the back. He never looked at her, not even once. He kept his eyes staring out the window.

Even when the bus dropped them off at their stop, Soda kept up his face walking pace, Y/N was lucky to just barely be keeping with his long strides.

"I'm sorry." y/n says once they get into the house.

"You're sorry?! Y/N, that's all you have to say?" Soda asks while throwing his jacket on the couch. "Who was it?" He asks.

Y/N doesn't say anything, instead she looks on the ground. She can remember who it was and the person wasn't worth remembering. He was lousy and rude and she thought that she had been done with him. He was a kid from the Shepard Gang, a person she had went out with a few times and they hooked up at a party. It had only been once.

"Who was it?" he asks louder.

"Bobby Miller." She replies.

She flinches when Sodas hand hits the wall. Although she isn't worried about herself she's worried if Ponyboys home, he thought the world of Sodapop and seeing him like this would for sure change his views on him.

Y/N walks to Ponyboys room, and is relieved to see that he isn't home yet so he doesn't have to hear the screaming.

" You need to get rid of it." Soda says from behind her.

She quickly turns around, shocked that Soda would ever suggest that. It was hypocritical to say the least, being that he wanted to raise Sandy's baby and he wasn't the Dad.

" No!" y/n says.

"Yes! Bobby Miller won't take care of you, not when he's knocking up half of Tulsa! And we sure as hell can't afford it, Y/N."

Y/N pushes passed Soda to get to her own room. She couldnt imagine herself getting rid of her baby, especially because she had been too careless to use protection.

"I said no Soda. I ain't getting rid of the baby."

"Then put it up for adoption! We'll send you to Grandma's, right off the country side and you'll come back once you have the baby."

"I'm raising my own baby, Sodapop! There's nothing you or Darry will be able to say about it."

"You ain't having this baby here!" Soda yells.

"Then I'll leave!" Y/n screams back at Soda.

She furiously opens her closet and pulls out a bag, throwing all her belongings in there and things she'd need for wherever she tried to go. She didn't have a destination in mind, only the angry and hurt thoughts ran through her brain.

"I can take care of myself. I'm hardly a baby." y/n says.

She reaches into her drawer and pulls a roll of bills out that she had been saving from babysitting and doing laundry. She figured it would come in handy one day, that day was today.

"If you leave, don't come back." Soda says quietly.

Y/N flinches from the words, she knows he probably doesn't mean it. But the thought of him saying that, kicking her out where she's got nowhere else to go back her break down.

"Fine, I won't." She sobs. "Tell Ponyboy I love him. And Darry too."

Y/N throws the heavy bag over her shoulder, slamming the door behind her. She feels the pain in her heart and she wonders if she should turn around, go back and apologize. But it was Sodapop who told her to leave, and she didn't need him. Not anymore.

I did not like the way the ending turned out ugh.

#the outsiders #the outsiders headcannons #the outsiders preferences #the outsiders imagines #stay gold ponyboy #se hinton #ponyboy #that was then this is now #curtis brothers #sodapop x reader #sodapop #sodapop curtis #soda x reader #sodapop imagine

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mybleachedsoul · 6 years ago

Text

ichiruki month. day 20. eye contact (also kind of an au)

contains mature language only

Eye contact - 20/08

The first time he ever laid eyes on her she was just sitting down, concentrated on a piece of literature that, based on the pink tip of her tongue sticking out in between her upper and lower canine teeth, seemed to be very captivating. She was like a blue rose plucked out of a meadow of dandelions, melancholic and fascinating. Her hair was short and darker than a midnight sky. It’s funny, he always thought he was a long-hair kinda guy.

But what struck him the most were her eyes when she looked up at him. Sharp and violet in a jungle of tedious brown irises. It was as if he was pulled into some kind of other dimension, yet there was no reason to fight it. In fact it was already a place that he felt could be called home.

And he fucking kid you not, she just stayed there and stared back at him.

As if she’d just said, “Welcome home, what the hell took you so long?”

As expected from their first meeting, being with her was comfortable, far too comfortable. He didn’t need to censor everything he said before speaking out loud, and neither did she. There was no place or need for bullshit in their friendship.

It was refreshing, and different than anything he’d ever had before.

Like that day in his apartment. The one where he ate cold ramen while keeping an eye on the TV, as Rukia tried on countless different outfits for upcoming interviews. She came up to him for his opinion, wearing a straight black dress and high heels.

“What about this one?”

Ichigo’s eyes moved away from the screen for five seconds, scanning her up and down. He shrugged and swallowed his mouthful of curly noodles.

“Dunno, Rukia. You still look like a fifteen year-old trying to play the uptight business woman.”

Rukia rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue in frustration. “Fantastic. How come other women look natural in these? I look ridiculous even with a smidge of makeup on,” she complained out loud before kicking off her heels and walking into his bedroom to change. Ichigo watched a man catch a ten feet long eel on TV, then Rukia came out again, wearing an oversized turtleneck with her hair tied up in a I’ve-given-up-on-making-money kind of bun.

“Maybe ‘cause they need that shit to look good. And you don’t.”

He knew she hadn’t expected that to sound like such a sappy compliment when she turned her head to meet his eyes. Hell, he probably hadn’t expected so himself. But he’d said it and well shit, it was still the truth, he wasn’t about to fucking take it back. So he looked back at her in silence, violet piercing through him with curiosity, and maybe also silently asking for a bite or two of that ramen. He handed her the bowl and she started eating, both of them turning their attentions to that oddly interesting fishing documentary.

“That cloud on the far left kinda looks like a dick on acid,” she said in a monotone voice.

Ichigo squinted his eyes at the sky, trying to figure out exactly how any of those fluffy white puffs could look like a male’s genitalia. He scoffed after a good ten second of silent investigation.

“I don’t see a single trace of dick in that sky. I usually like my skies dick-less, thank you very much.”

Rukia nudged him in the rib. “Did you actually just say the word dick-less?” A bee flew around his ear for a moment before moving over to another patch of green grass. “You’re such a weirdo,” she finished with a sigh.

“I’m a weirdo?” Ichigo spat back. “You’re the one imagining penises flying above your freaking head.”

“I’m not imagining anything!” Rukia exclaimed, lifting an arm to point somewhere high up. “See? Right there. There’s the two balls, then the sh-“

“Rukia, I beg you to not finish that sentence.” He interrupted her and by some miracle it worked because Rukia’s arm fell down and she stopped talking. She stood silent for a moment before he heard her laugh, almost like a giggle. She then turned around on her stomach and looked at him with a smile, her eyes looking ten times more piercing than they usually did with that ray of sunlight coming in from above and illuminating her face. It was like admiring the moon itself in all its glory.

That’s when Ichigo realized she was probably the most beautiful woman alive.

Yep, right after they’d spent five fucking minutes discussing dicks.

Maybe he was a weirdo after all.

Ichigo realized he was in love with Kuchiki Rukia on a Sunday.

It was on that super hot morning, where the sun was hitting so hard it was enough to boil skin. He knocked on her apartment door ten times in a row before she finally answered, wearing that dress shirt she had apparently decided to steal from him ever since he forgot it at her place. It looked so incredibly large on her, sleeves dangling past her hands and hem falling near her knees, but after bugging her a million times about giving it back to him, he couldn’t bring himself to take it back. Especially not after actually seeing her in it.

Rukia’s hair was a bird nest, and she yawned as soon as she opened the door. “Ichigo, the hell are you doing here. It’s 8 a.m. on a Sunday,” she frowned mid-way through her yawn.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and scoffed as he walked past her and into her living room. “We had plans to go to the beach with the guys today, remember?” he said, thinking about Ishida, Abarai, Inoue and Tatsuki, probably all already on their way to the beach house they had rented for a night.

Rukia groaned lazily as her body went limp and fell on top of the couch. “Fuuuuuck, I completely forgot about that,” she whined loudly. “I had to stay up last night to finish that report for work, you know.”

Ichigo took his phone out of his pants pocket and wiggled it in her face. “Yeah, I do know. You texted me at 3 a.m., and I quote: if I don’t wake up ever again, please water my plants twice a week for me.”

Rukia blinked, silent as she scratched her head. “That’s weird, I don’t remember texting you.”

“Well hurry and get dressed,” he added quickly before she could close her eyes again. “The others probably already left in Renji’s car.”

Rukia, already flopped down on a corner of her couch, groaned and mumbled something incoherent. Ichigo frowned, sighing. “What the hell was that?”

“I said,” Rukia said louder, lifting up her head once more. “Do we really have to go?”

Ichigo opened his mouth, then closed it. “Wait, you don’t wanna go?”

Rukia shrugged, hands playing with a wild strand of hair. “I just…I dunno, kinda feel like staying in. Plus, this is the type of thing you do if you’re a social butterfly on the inside, and I’m just not sure we are.”

Ichigo remained speechless for a good moment, before finally letting a scoff escape his throat. He dropped his improvised suitcase on the floor with a thud.

“Thank god, I wanted to go almost as much as I wanted to pour boiling water down my back,” he said with a laidback smile, making Rukia look up at him in surprise. “Tell you what,” he said as he started making his way to the kitchen, Rukia still curiously eyeing him. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee and we’ll just stay in and watch horror movies all day. You can even take naps if you want.”

He heard a couple little steps follow him into the kitchen. He smirked. He knew how appealing the word ‘coffee’ was to her, especially before 11 a.m. “Oh my god, I love you,” Rukia exclaimed in all her lazy gratitude. “I could almost kiss you right now.”

Ichigo chuckled at her words as he mindlessly dug into the kitchen cabinet for roasted coffee grains. “Love you too.”

He froze in his track, spoon in one hand, coffee grains in the other. There was a chance Rukia hadn’t heard that at all. But based on the way she had also stopped all movements, he couldn’t count on it.

“Uh…?” Rukia breathed out in a low voice.

Yep, couldn’t count on it indeed.

And so, Ichigo had no choice but to turn around and make eye contact. As if looking into those violet eyes of hers would help his case.

“I- uh… I- meant that in a non-serious way, you know, a joke, a ha-ha kinda thing,” he scratched the back of his head. “Was following your lead, you know, ah…yeah.”

Rukia blinked once, then nodded. “Right.”

Well done Ichigo.

Well done.

He kissed her a week later.

Honestly now rethinking about it, he doesn’t even blame himself, he blames the whole setting. Seriously, standing on a rooftop at sunset drinking sake straight out of the bottle? Who does that?

And he blames her eyes. Her goddamn eyes.

“Ichigo,” she murmured, eyes set on the orange sky.

“Hmm?” he mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.

“Why do you think people think we’re a couple?” she asked, in the most casual way.

Ichigo froze and scowled, bottle tipping midway on his lips. “People? Who’s people?”

“Our friends, your family, my brother,” she answered with a light frown and scoffed. “Pretty much everyone I guess.”

Ichigo stayed silent for a while. Eventually he sighed and took another sip. “I dunno, probably cause we’re always together.” He looked over at Rukia, who was now looking down at her bottle of sake. “But who gives a flying fuck what people think,” he added, for his benefit or for hers, he isn’t sure. “I sure as hell don’t.”

The sky had faded from orange to yellow, to pale lilac. “Ichigo, we’re friends, right?”

Her voice was low, and almost sounded different. He finished his drink in one last sip and placed the empty bottle on the ground next to him. He turned back to see that Rukia was now looking at him, eyes expressing something near despair, as if all she needed was for him to confirm they were indeed, friends.

He looked into her eyes for a few more seconds, then smiled sincerely without breaking eye contact. “Yeah, we are.”

Rukia’s expression softened, and she smiled back, and it was one of those smiles that could bring a dead man back to life. Ichigo bent forward, cupped the side of her face with one hand, and kissed her without another word.

He felt her eyelashes moving fast on his skin, and nearly tickling him. After two or three seconds she stopped, her felt her eyes close and felt her lips kissing him back. He doesn’t know how much time it was before they pulled away, but he remembers her cheeks being pink, almost as much as her lips.

Seeing how she wasn’t opening her eyes, Ichigo rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes once more. They stood there for god knows how long. Just breathing.

“Ichigo?” her voice whispered into the silence.

“Hm?”

A second of silence. “You taste like alcohol. It’s gross.”

He twitched, and smiled. “Yeah? So do you.”

He felt Rukia’s forehead pulling away and opened his eyes to see her mouth break into a large smile as soon as their eyes met. She laughed and next thing he knew, she was grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him down, her lips on his once again.

@ichirukimonth

#ichirukimonth #ichiruki #bleach

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