#or do anything else romantic with a man
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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I said this in a whole reblog, but just copy-pasting to a separate post because I think it'll give some reading comprehension and reblogs don't show up in the search feature.. again, I'm reiterating what I said in another post.
Go check out @demidokuriya 's post for this; OP's post made me put this all down in like. 20 minutes. Mind went vroom vroom cuz HEY THEY'RE ONTO SOMETHING.
(They also reblogged the post with some hint to some behind the scenes of what led to the ideas if you wanna check that out)
Look below at how, when Mineta told AFO to spare Tokoyami, AFO specifically went "..."
He remembers Jirou and thinks, The braying howls of the weak...
He was going to take Tokoyami's Quirk. He took Hawks'. But after Mineta pleaded with him, AFO just straight-up left and didn't take anyone else's Quirk.
AFO saw Yoichi in Mineta.
These scenes are near-identical to each other.
Mineta and Yoichi (at that time) are both much smaller than the normal person at their age
They're both hurt, yet dragged themselves up from the ground to throw something at AFO, to get his attention and make their voice
Both are considered weak, even if they have a Quirk (Mineta's Pop-Off and Yoichi's undeveloped Factor)
The fact that Yoichi got AFO's attention here by throwing a can at him, while Mineta got his attention by throwing a Pop-Off ball; and it stuck.
Mineta's call for his attention landed and actually stuck to AFO. This is unlike when Yoichi and his can bounced off, and AFO kicked him, not listening to him; AFO listened to Mineta and left Tokoyami alone, technically doing what Mineta wanted—to not hurt this person.
AFO just went on to hurt more people away from Mineta's [Yoichi's] eyes so the small weakling wouldn't see.
Yoichi and Mineta both cried to AFO to not hurt in his ways, when AFO was intent on stealing people's Quirks
AFO even stole Hawks' Quirk during this time.
He had time to steal Hawks' Quirk, and though he could've tossed him to the side, he let Hawks stand in his way.
He had the energy. Right after this event, he flew off and left the scene. But he didn't go for Tokoyami immediately.
And this let Mineta play his part, and remind AFO of Yoichi.
"A putrid, festering Quirk Factor."
That sounds like Yoichi, AFO.
".. such garbage."
Hey hey hey, what did Yoichi throw at him when they were kids?
A discarded can. Garbage.
This chapter (385) where AFO listens to Mineta is literally called [A Youthful Urge].
Mineta told AFO to take his Pop-Off (hurt him) instead. But last time, AFO hurt Yoichi by kicking him; this time, AFO not only listened to Mineta to not hurt Tokoyami, but didn't touch Mineta at all.
Even though this time, Mineta [Yoichi] offered to take that place of suffering.
Yoichi didn't do that back then. AFO just turned on little Yoichi anyway.
Yoichi through his whole existence is literally [the braying howls of the weak]. AFO acknowledges he's weak and idealistic, yet he still loves him.
Side note about this panel, I think it's interesting that in this vision, this was the first time we saw Yoichi's eyes: when he was being defiant, despite being pushed down by someone much stronger than him.
Really characteristic of him, honestly. Yoichi's soft-spoken and frail, but it's always reiterated that Yoichi had a powerful will against his stronger big brother.
Mineta at this moment reminded him too much of Yoichi, because the two scenes are near-identical to each other. Parallels, really.
Reiterating something from OP's post that I reblogged this from;
"The reminder of his brother made him uncomfortable, so he hurried away."
AFO didn't want to hurt Yoichi again.
#i really dont mean to steal the post from op this fandoms reading comprehension just bothers me#cuz i see too many takes being that horikoshi is an IDIOT who DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING and RUINED A GREAT STORY#and this should only be FEEL-GOOD-#ahahahaha NO.#horikoshi is a genius and him labeling the manga as shounen attributes to a worse-level-of-understanding from the audience#reblog#technically#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#yoichi shigaraki#minoru mineta#afo#all for one#ofa#one for all#spoilers#the reason i started posting bnha stuff was to add some of my own reading comprehension#horikoshi is really smart honestly#poor yoichi AFO saw him in mineta#minetas supposed to be likeable but hes creepy toward girls#but if mineta were tall and nothing else changed i bet some people would like him romantically#reblogs dont show unless its from someone you follow or in the fyp page and i go to the chapters of rewound afo a lot#cuz. cough. hes hot. why#hes an ugly baby and more western or greek(?)-looking as a grown man but between those ages? hes hot and looks like yoichi#im sorry im not trying to hijack anything i swear#im not very smart but i like psychoanalysis and foreshadowing#this was just my reblog adding onto what op said. check the og post for more context#i wouldnt have thought about this on my own. originally thought AFO sparing tokoyami was just for the series fans
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“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???
And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??
#‘the joys of love made her human. the agonies of love destroyed her’ hUH. What a cool line.#hope it doesn’t become some sort of…thesis statement for you or something SPOCK#listen my number one beef with the way they write bones is that they just make him completely mischaracterize everything to suit the plot#this man is not an idiot he KNOWS Spock has emotions and just suppresses them#you’re going to tell me he’s been on that ship with Spock for years and thinks he feels no love whatsoever for anyone???#like even after what happened in the empath and in that episode where McCoy thought he was dying#he knows Spock loves people!!! COME ON#does he really just mean romantic love?? that’s so boring WRITE HIM BETTER#also they’re banking a lot on people remembering what the Vulcan mind meld is for that last bit#like I know it comes up a lot but…this is 1968 or whatever. They don’t have this shit on dvd to rewatch#you’re counting on really dedicated fan memory here or on people catching reruns#because otherwise it just looks like Spock waiting to be alone to touch Kirk as tenderly as possible and pray he forgets this woman#truly what’s going on#anyway I kind of hated this episode#like quite frankly there was too much going on#are androids people? would Kirk fall in love that hard that quickly and choose it over the safety of his crew?#why wasnt the illness ravaging the crew a bigger deal??#they didn’t even get into WHY flint was immortal#he was just a regular human and apparently the ONLY one who was granted immortality by the earth’s atmosphere#leaving aside the very creepy and very early born sexy yesterday trope going on throughout#but it was a really good Spock episode if you just….dont look at anything else….#the writer for this one also did Day of the Dove and Mirror Mirror which explains a LOT#two other episodes that are interesting for the character dynamics but really chaotic plot wise#anyway imagine saying to Spock’s face that he has no idea what love can drive a man to do#one has to laugh#tos#star trek#as always…. I’m sorry that I’m Like This
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killer eating food in front of horror as a way to taunt him. duuuude do you see this delectable parfait he has in his hands right now. he just put a spoonful in his mouth. horror is scratching at his own arms right now (trying not to jump this bitchass). killer can't even taste it LMAOOO another bite ‼️ imagine not being able to eat food 🤣🤣🤣 killer can't even taste it and enjoy the food but horror can't even EAT food
then horror grabs the parfait glass out of his hands and oh killer you should probably teleport away before horror does to you what undyne did to his eye
#this SOUNDS mean but this is actually just their daily behavior. average horrorkiller interaction#the nice version of this is that killer eats the foods in place of horror#horror cant eat anymore but at least he gets to see someone else he doesnt mind eat. which is ok for now#however that's only a pipe dream for now we get horrorkiller mauling at eachother like rabid animals#something i like about horrorkiller is that they are NOT evenly matched at all#in kist i feel like dust could win if he gives like 400% but with horrorkiller????#NO DAMN WAY‼️💀 horror gives 400% and then killer just knocks him over again like a badly balanced figure#horror's strong but hes not strong enough to do anything to killer that he wont allow#which is just so funny. horror could have his original eye back and be at full power and killer just pins him down again#also people think that horror would hate killer for what he did in smthnew but it lowkey could be equal#like horror's rambling to killer about all the bullshit that happened in horrortale with queen undick and alphys the betrayer bitch#and then he gets to the part where he tricked snowdin into eating humans#and OBVIOUSLY horror's lying and trying to make himself seem innocent but killer's smarter than that#and after all that horror's just given this quick and barely discernable glance of contempt from killer#like MAN killing everyone is one thing but forcing them to eat humans?? that shit was so bad it made killer FEEL in stage 2 💀#it stings. horror doesnt wanna admit it (because WHY WOULD HE CARE ABOUT KILLERS OPINION!!!) but he's lowkey piiiiissed#its a mood swing but not one of those agressive loud violent ones. nah. horror ghosts killer#not that killer tries to get him to talk to him. he doesnt care enough. plus hes an eeeensy bit mad at horror too for what he did#i WOULD say horror gets over it but from what horrortale's shown he can hold 7 year long grudges. so erm#and thats why horrorkiller woukd never happen everyone! alright thanks for watching that's a wrap#you will never catch me talking about horrorkiller in a romantic way horror is an ARO man!!! he doesnt feel romantic attraction dare i say#and he'd rather die than be attracted to killer in any way anyways. and killer's just there. unlabelled uncaring unknowing king#killer doesn't have a stable sense of identity that just makes it even easier to slap a big ol HE DOES NOT CARE on his forehead#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#horrorkiller
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Food for the acedeu enjoyers 🩵❤️🔥
#you can’t tell me that Deu has held hands romantically before with the environment he grew up in#there is no way. Mans was depressed and exhausted 24/7 I doubt he felt anything like that for anyone#and if he did I doubt his self confidence was high enough to do anything about it#but the type of ppl he was surrounded by do not seem like people he’d be romantically interested in. or platonically interested in.#ace hasn’t kissed anyone else either at this point btw#he’s just like that#he thinks that’s how it’s supposed to be done and goes for it#one piece#masked deuce#portagas d. ace#deuace#acedeu#ace x deuce#one piece fanart#my art#I love these two sillies#they make me insane#yapping in tags
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I love seeing you geek out over the Jaal romance lmao
HOW IS HE SO FINE
i wanna chew on him like a cat on plastic
#I want him#his biceps are the size of my head#rare occasion of me not simping over a twink or a femboy#love ya Thane but you were the twinkest mose breedable of them all#The things I would let Jaal do to me would make the devil blush#time to find out if angara and humans are genetically compatible for reproduction the good ol'fashioned reliable way <3#Triplets at LEAST#how are his arms so big oh my god how is he so strong#The most buff Mass Effect character ever#and he's a sweetheart romantic???#Death penalty.#Immediately.#How am I expected to focus on anything else in this damn game when this walking hormonal panic inducing man is within my radius#suddenly I am a homesteader I am a housewife I am breadwinner husband I am whatever he wants me to be#Rights? i don't have em. I'd even be a pet. Whatever makes you happy mama <3#let me bite him LET ME BITE HIM IT IS A NEED#He is so hot but he triggers my cuteness aggression also??? I wanna squish his cheeks and teeth against his fingers#☆jaal#☆screenshots#☆Andromeda#☆character specific
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@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.
#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#the set design dude#the world is just decaying around Owen as they’re dying from the inside out#everything starts losing color and we stop seeing Owen out in the bright sunlight#the only shot that’s there that’s nice and bright and wonderful is the one of maddys burial spot#the split second pause after the drive thru worker calls Owen sir#like it was just physically painful to hear and they needed a second#the fact they just start apologizing for having a breakdown but there’s still time and they shouldn’t be doing that#they phrase it as needing to become a man but really all they’re doing is killing themself slowly over time#i 100% read Maddy and Owen/Isabel and Tara as t4t love where one of them was ready to come out and move on with their life while the other#is too scared to ever change and is stuck in an endless loop of being something they’re not#Owen has the personality of wet grass but that’s the entire point#being too scared to ever be anything more than what is expected and just rotting over years and year and just hating yourself all the while#I love the part where Owen can’t verbalize why exactly their romantic attraction feels wrong#it’s wrong because they’re trans and can’t incision a life as Owen but can’t say out loud that it’s being perceived as a male in#a relationship that is the problem#the jab the dad makes about pink opaque being a girl’s show and how the dad is the one to drag Owen away from freedom in the tv#he’s holding Owen back but they’re so fucking scared to live as Isabel and are just stuck in a cycle of self loathing#but there’s still time#the reason Maddy/Tara doesn’t come back is because there is still time#but Owen has to be the one to commit to being Isabel and no one else is going to drag them into the dirt#it’s their choice alone and their inaction is a choice all on its own#no matter how much time passes as long as Owen is alive then there is still time to change but their inaction is slowly killing them#the fact they find the truth in their own chest dude that’s such a trans thing#where the fuck is my insurance card I’m calling my doctor to start t when the offices open#THERES STILL TIME MAN#THERES STILL TIME
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"he wants to be petted like a kitten and told he's so special and beautiful" you did it! you've broken astarion down to his bare essentials! (jk of course but also not entirely + this is still a more accurate description of him than like 95% of fanon astarion)
thank you haha, but honestly some people create a version of astarion in their minds to cope with the fact that he'll never return the attention he wants to receive.
#and this is why wyllstarion is amazing#because wyll absolutely wants to do all those romantic selfless acts and absolutely doesn't expect anything in return#however: he'll be selfless and heroic towards everyone else too and astarion won't tolerate that#he'll want all of wyll's devotion for himself#this will result in wyll taking a break from taking on the weight of the world at the tender age of 24#and finally enjoy having a cat shaped man on his lap to pet for hours on end
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I literally forget Aidan exists for months at a time
#wolfposting#and I like him I think his character is pretty good but his subplot is so isolated from everyone else that he just doesn’t come up usually#unless you are thinking about baize’s backstory or the college for some reason he has nothing to do with anything until the last minute#<if we are being real also bc he doesnt have a romantic subplot <arguably the others dont either. he doesnt have a psychosexual subplot#we are NOT shipping him and crow there will be no white man yaoi today#shout out to him though for real I think he’s cute#+ it’s cool how literally some random guy ended up having sm impact on the world
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore
#like. remember that. remember following me back when i was bi and genderfluid lol. awhile ago now#its like whatever to me now. its really hard for me to pin anymore#like when i feel like genderfluid and bi again i feel like i can be a lot more open about shit#but i dont really even know. its hard#i feel like. and this is just like. me yknow. i feel like if i wasnt dating a man i'd be missing out on something that i want#like i dont know if i would be content just marrying a woman and being satisfied if i. didnt have a husband. yknow what i mean#and its like. if *I* wasnt a man i'd be sad. if in a relationship i wasnt someone's boyfriend or husband i'd be sad about it#so this is what wraps back around to me being a gayboy about it yknow#its complicated because no matter the gender label outcome. i would STILL want testosterone and surgery and masculine terms#and i KNOW this doesnt mean anything for some people. like some women do all that and are women#so i could just be not-a-man and still want all this anyways#but i also know it doesnt make it any less complicated for some of these women. who also had to think about themselves a lot in this way#its this weird notion of whatever ends up happening i... physically want the same shit anyways. THAT stays almost completely static#so that for me is a breather. its just like.... idk ... if i ever got in a relationship with a woman#i'd feel like i would be intrinsically. missing out on something i wanted#which i think is what a lot of burgeoning gay kids feel generally. right#like if you went down this stringent path laid out for you that you'd be missing out on. your life that you want. right.#i dont know what i want out of that really. sometimes i feel like im too out of it to pursue anything romantically anymore anyways#i do sometimes think it'd be cool to be a butch woman. kinda..?#i think what i like about that is the masculinity of myself is gender non-confirming if i were a woman#which if im a masc guy i'm just like. your average dude. like. right#but i wanna be a bear about it. i wanna fag it up about it. and my metric of being transgender im not ... average about how i present mysel#can someone teach me how to fag it up. the construction worker part of this is working right#sighhhh.... i have to go shower. maybe i;'ll have a shower epiphany or something. sighhhhh#sometimes in my head being a woman would be alright. but its like.. i dont even know how to decode it#i think some people would call what im feeling being genderfluid. some people might call it something else. it depends on like. you yknow#and what you want. and what makes you smile. me? not quite so sure anymore#and i think its like. this sounds like its laid quite bare right. but its hard to word even.#but sometimes im like. am i just like. talking ...? yknow what i mean.
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Smth smth, Khaenriahns having similar thing to the Ackermans in AoT
#//The whole 'power that can be Awakened in times of duress'#//Exhibiting increased physical abilities; gaining the combined power of Khaenri'ahns before them via some connection to them#//I like it v much#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Also v much like the Ackerman Protectiveness™ being PART of it. It wasn't inherently in the og; I know; but IMAGINE#//In addition to getting that Awakened Power; it also lets Khaenri'ahns form a sorta Warrior's Bond w the one fighting w them in the moment#//So the trigger for it would not only be survival; but also a sense of Protectiveness over sb. Not necessarily romantic or anything#//Just a strong feeling of attachment & fealty to the one would TRUST with your very life; reflexively as breathing. Who'd do so in return#//Which would make me both laugh and cry if you consider Diluc & Kaeya#//Just#//Lil bby Kae activating the bloodline instinct during an outing gone South; & having a Crisis bc Luc's not Khaenri'ahn#//Does it even MEAN anything? Will HIS instincts go haywire bc Luc's not Khaenri'ahn? Are the gods gonna PUNISH him for it?#//For imprinting on a Teyvat-born; gods-blessed mortal? Or worse; in doing so; would Luc be damned in the process too?#//Meanwhile bby Luc the INSTANT of their oath to be sworn brothers was just. Already Like That. No Khaenri'ahn bloodline influence#//Heck; mans dramatic ass was prolly Ride or Die; from the START; then with that he had MORE incentive. The perfect fit to complement it#//Close to mutual enough until The Confrontation; then Kae's left reeling. There was nothing to sever on Luc's part; but it still Hurt Kae#//It's in his BLOOD to care abt & protect him. Prolly drive Kae mad when Luc went off to Snezhnaya & went through Hell; knowing he Caused i#//STILL resolved to help & support Luc; as per the inherent purpose of the bond; even if Luc won't want him to. What else can he do?#//The pain of Luc keeping him at arms length & aftermath of the betrayal is Nothing compared to what Kae'll feel if Luc dies; he figures#//And in Different Case; imagine Dain & Halfdan. A bond formed in the most Dire of times for Khaenri'ahns; them already having been close#//Maybe love already having budded b/w them. Only for an extreme life or death to spark it further; as their bond was Sealed#//Imagine if the mutual bond also let them sense each other's emotions; perhaps not ENTIRELY; but Just Enough to tell if they need help#//So if the other needs them; they can Tell right away. To be spurred to action and rush to their side in times of need#//With that; them Immediately sensing the difference as of That Day. The JOY in realizing the very mutual feelings they had in additon#//Feeling each other's love seeping through their bond; fond little bursts & flares felt whenever they think of each other; when they smile#//Warm feelings shared; even when they were apart. ESP then. Them hurrying to the other's side when they sense a dip or cold feeling#//Imagine how it would feel when Dan died; Dain's reeling from his own anguish & Dan's pain; Dan's grief in leaving him like this#//& the Emptiness Dain would feel; as bond b/w them would Shatter as Dan draws his final breath. A part of his heart & soul carved out#//Lmao; this all happened bc I was like 'Ey what if Khaenri'ahns were just Built Different'#//I do like this concept; gonna file it away for later
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based on what we know about Dana and about Xina, what do you think Miguel's "type" is?
#sorry. Had To do the funney#ask#anon#spider-man 2099#spiderman 2099#miguel o'hara#in seriousness full disclosure i honestly hc miguel as aro and gay and im sure that it's in no small part because of how much i project lol#i think his ''type'' is just. well. he doesn't know. anyone who will have him.#i don't think he particularly seeks out deep romantic connections as much as he says ''yes'' when other ppl he kinda clicks w/ want one#i think more than anything else at all in a partner he just Needs someone who openly loves and supports him and is on his side#which is. generally the bare minimum but good lird he has been Massively Deprived of healthy relationships in his lifetime#and not even in the romantic sense. just literally any healthy relationships with another human person at all#.oh and also ''powerful enough to snap him in half over their knee like a twig''#he doesn't have a Size Thing he just likes being little spoon
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