#or being devastated about the fact that all 4 boys lost someone who is or used to be this close to them
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surrowndedbylights · 27 days ago
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Can people please stop making Liam's death about themselves?? " ohh, that means I'm never gonna go to a One Direction concert? 😨" Yes, that's what it means. Now, please, if you don't mind caring a little less about yourself and start caring about all the people close to him who are heartbroken and try to process everything. Liam had a son, parents, friends and a girlfriend who are probably still trying to cope with his loss and all some people seem to care about is if they lost their chance to go to concert like grow up.
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imhereonthekitchenfloor · 10 months ago
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Rating Taylor Swift songs based on how they would be perceived by medieval peasants*: Fearless
*context: I'm imagining showing medieval peasants how awesome the future is by playing them the greatest music of our day and age (Taylor obviously). I am also trying to have them not go insane nor have me be accused of witchcraft.
Debut rating
👑🤺🛡⚔️👑🤺🛡⚔️👑
Fearless: pavement, parking lot, car?? After the confusing first verse this song becomes a really sweet tale about riding in a wagon or cart and ruining your nice dress for the oen you love. Considering most women only own one nice dress and one day dress, this is a beautiful sentiment🥹 8/10
Fifteen: the setting of this song is very confusing. It seems (?) Like this may be about the upper class going to school. A senior boy means a lord. A freshmen is a novice. Fifteen is a good age for marriage, but how is this not arranged? 3/10
Love Story: this is so romantic 😍 this is the most beautiful love story ever heard!! They were going to run away because they didn't have parental consent. Regardless of being peasants, they were each other's prince and princess. 10/10!!!
Hey Stephen: hasn't every medieval girl fallen in love with that boy that every other girl is offering their dowry to? Very relatable but nothing too special. 7/10
White Horse: fun fact! White horses have always been a fairytale symbol throughout ancient history so this symbol would translate well to medieval times. The idea of not being a princess or someone chasing after your hand with promise of a horse are also relatable medieval imagery. 8/10 due to some confusing and modern dialect.
You Belong With Me: 😳 what is happening? There's something here about unrequited love but the details are all lost. 2/10
Breathe: medieval friendships were usually a contractual agreement and the few positive and real friendships were reserved for men as masculinity was seen as a holy state and and only masculine beings could have real friends. This song is likely about 2 men having a falling out. Not super relatable but it mostly makes sense. 4/10
Tell Me Why: is this about a physical fight? Are knights facing off? Is this about lovers?? I'm a little lost on context. 5/10 just because everything but bullets and shots makes sense
You're Not Sorry: what happened here 😳 someone MESSED UP. Who knows what a phone is but this song hit deep. 9/10
The Way I Loved You: passion vs sensibility. A secret lover vs someone who is committed. Marriage is very rarely romantic, so this song feels very relatable. 8/10 because the acting insane is a bit questionable. Why are you risking being accused of witchcraft?
Forever & Always: this sounds like a devastating divorce. Perhaps there was an agreement with another women? That is one of several grounds for divorce and it would track with the anger in this song. Unfortunate. 3/10
The Best Day: pumpkins? Tractor? Car? Video? There's too many anachronisms to listen with ease but some lyrics still can hit. 5/10
Change: Are the serfs revolting??? Good for them! This song is so hopeful! 10/10 even though it's unrealistic.
Jump Then Fall: "jump then fall into me" in itself is a weird phrase but cute enough song about blossoming love. 6/10
Untouchable: a song of yearning AND the singer dreams of being literate. Relatable dreams. 7/10.
Come In With The Rain: (tbh, my twilight analysis of this song made this one really difficult) this is likely about another serf living on the masters property and it sounds scandalous. Clandestine affairs are not aligned with the medieval Christian values. 3/10
Superstar: Is this about a traveling performer or nobility visiting the town? Another song about being into the guy every girl will offer her dowry to, this time with more anachronisms. 4/10
The Other Side of the Door: Nothing is more exciting than passion in romance! It's so rare in the world of arranged marriage. I can't help but wonder if these two are in different social classes and thus the secrecy of throwing pebbles🤭 juicy! 6/10 for all the talks about phones and photographs
Today was a Fairytale: fairy tail? 👀 fairy as in the french word for fae as in A MAGICAL BEING??? "Time slowed down whenever you're around" ‼️ the ability to control the flow of time? "Can you feel this magic in the air. It must have been the way you kissed me" 🔪 THAT'S IT. LET'S GET EM BOYS. 0/10 (you have been burned at the stake for witchcraft)
You All Over Me: Did you say God? Medieval songs LOVE talking about God!! This song seems to be asking for penance. Some of the song is a little confusing but good job being devout! 9/10
Mr. Perfectly Fine: mister as in master, right? Is this song about a master (craftsman) leaving his betrothed? The grammar here is pretty confusing so 2/10
We Were Happy: HE WAS OFFERING LAND AND YOU HAD TO LEAVE HIM? You didn't have choices? Who had a larger dowry and best you to him? 😭 9/10
That's When: oh medieval songs love repetitive choruses and the words "that's when" really delivered! 9/10 because this would raise 0 red flags but also barely makes sense in modern English let alone medieval
Don't You: this album is full of unrequited love. I can imagine walking into the market place and seeing the peasant from two properties over with the woman he ended up choosing. Then he DARES to ask how you are? I don't like it. This is too much. 3/10
Bye Bye Baby: this is DEFINITELY a divorce song. I mean... a traditional couple meets at their wedding and these two used to share a bed so.... The sadness of the singer leads me to question the cause of divorce. Did he commit a crime? Were they spiritually related? Did he have relations with another woman? I have more questions than answers. 2/10
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snoopysfriendwoodstock · 5 months ago
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what's ur full ttpd song ranking and why?
omg… this will be long lol
1. who’s afraid of little old me? - taylor has tried “female rage” a couple times now and it always falls flat bc she has to be the victor/mastermind of all of it. mad woman & vigilante shit just kinda suck! FINALLY in this song she sort of admits defeat? i find it really interesting to hear her reflecting on her career & her own view of herself and the public perception of her without her feeling the need to throw a “but i’m okay! and actually i’m winning!” in at the end. also the vocals and theatrics are soooo good i just love it <3
2. the smallest man who ever lived - that ENDING. this takes me back to some very classic taylor songs, especially the dear john bridge or last kiss bridge and as a speak now girl i can’t get enough.
3. the prophecy - both people who love this song and people who hate it reduce it down to “she’s sad she doesn’t have a boyfriend” but imo this song perfectly captures the ACHE of being someone who just always has a little ribbon of loneliness running through them. it’s that dark middle of the night place you can’t let yourself go to. and it’s PERFECT.
4. so high school - i don’t have a lot to say here but this is the song she’s talking abt when she says she’s putting narcotics in them. i love it so much. do that impression you did of your dad again ❤️
5. but daddy i love him - i love her delusional ass! also the “i’m having his baby” line is soooo funny sorry!
6. guilty as sin? - there’s a reason this one’s a fan favorite! it’s just soooo good. there’s nothing wrong with a sexy song.
7. so long, london - “i’m just mad as hell cause i loved this place” is such a taylor line. so simply devastating. i think she got away from just very simply stating her emotions/feelings in her newer albums but this song has soooo many lines that go back to that form of writing that she’s so good at. “stopped trying to make him laugh” is another one that really hits.
8. loml - this hits my favorite genre of taylor swift song that is just so sad it’s almost like oh my god you have to stop… what a valiant roar! what a bland goodbye!
9. the black dog - ik i’m kind of a broken record at this point but “i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me” is SOOOO taylor. very early taylor! and i love the idea of taylor swift having someone’s location on her phone. she is sooo pathetic she’s just like me!
10. the bolter - songs used to be STORIES!
11. the alchemy - i can’t explain it. it just scratches my brain really well. i love how it soundssss
12. fresh out the slammer - i LOVE the chorus on this one. and i love when it slows down at the end and gets kinda weird.
13. clara bow - i LOVE this song. i love how haunting it is i love “you look like taylor swift” i love how pessimistic it is as an album closer. it feels like folklore again w/ hoax as the last song. she said we are NOT in change/long live/begin again/clean/new years day/daylight hours anymore we have LOST hope. in fact it’s super interesting compared to change/long live that are all optimistic about the industry/making a name for herself bc now she’s realized there were other taylor swifts before and there will be other taylor swifts later.
14. how did it end? - another just absolute fucking banger of a sad song. the commentary on fame/the public/her fanbase hits.
15. i hate it here - unfortunately this song is sooooo me it’s not even funny.
16. i can do it with a broken heart - who is this “nobody” that doesn’t know she’s miserable? i love this song it’s so funny. “i cry a lot but i am so productive” is a lyric that was necessary for society
17. my boy only breaks his favorite toys - this song grew on me SO much. it’s so pathetic i love it.
18. florida!!! - this song rocks so hard. i think taylor & florence’s voices compliment each other so much
19. the albatross - i love her voice on this one. she’s here to destroy you!!!
20. the tortured poets department - i love this one i’m sorry. i love the sound i love that it feels like she’s trying something new i love how cringe and desperate it is. also lucy dacus mention!
21. peter - i wish i understood this song the way a lot of people do but it’s simply not my favorite! i do love the way she keeps repeating “you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me” in the chorus. don’t listen to this & never grow up back to back. it’s not funny.
22. down bad - hated this one at first but it has REALLY grown on me. i love the alien abduction metaphor! “i might just die it would make no difference” is like come on girl get up
23. i look in people’s windows - love this one, don’t listen to it much. but never skip when it’s on. her voice is gorgeous and i loveee the writing on it
24. the manuscript - again, i don’t choose to put this one on much but holy shiiiitttt… now she eats kids cereal? and can only sleep if it’s in her mother’s bed?
25. cassandra - i love the idea of this and it has some great lyrics but i feel like she didn’t quite get it off the ground? i love the bridge. it’s like ALMOST there. cassandra is my favorite mythological figure so maybe i just had really high expectations.
26. imgonnagetyouback - this will for sure rise in the rankings soon bc i’m finally getting it. it’s so fun, just not as good as a lot of the anthology tracks.
27. fortnight - i don’t love this one, but the chorus is really catchy. & post malone’s verse is the best part, that gets stuck in my head all the time.
28. thanK you aIMee - god this song is so funny. “everybody knows my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead!” i’m just kinda sick of these kind of songs from her if that makes sense?
29. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - i’m waiting for this one to click!!! i’m sure it will & there’s parts i REALLY like but i skip it every single time
30. robin - i’m sorry it’s a skip from me. it’s beautiful but i’m never ever wanting to hear it. it’s sweet! but not for me
31. i can fix him (no really i can) - idk the rhythm and tempo of this song doesn’t work for me. it sucks bc her voice is so sexy on this one & i love the pathetic aspect but i always skip. it’s not as bad as my least favorite on other albums tho <3
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twilight-orchid · 3 years ago
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How The Demon Brothers React After Fighting With Their SO
tw: some angst with resolution at the end, mentions of past arguments, insecurity.
Lucifer:
This man is petty as hell.
He doesn’t do the silent treatment, but he acts like you aren’t dating.
If you need to work on something together, you’re a co-worker.
At RAD you’re a classmate.
Around the house you’re just a housemate.
His poker face is immaculate and it will not crack when you’re around.
If someone didn’t know what was happening, they’d probably think you two barely knew each other.
However, you won’t notice, but as soon as you look the other way his eyes are on you.
He’s used to arguing with his brothers and is no stranger to explosive fights that end with he and the other person not being on speaking terms.
But you’re different.
He tries to go on with business as usual, but he can’t think about anything other than how much he misses you.
Yet, he lets it continue because he just can’t put his pride aside and apologize.
If you decide to sleep in your old room it’ll both hurt his feelings and royally piss him off.
He thinks you’re being childish and will be pretty rude about it, but that’s because internally his blood just ran cold.
It adds a degree of seriousness to the argument that he’s uncomfortable with.
Yes he’s mad, but he can’t lose you.
If you still sleep in his bed, he makes sure to scoot over to the very edge so he doesn’t cuddle you in his sleep.
In fact, the first night after the argument he’d probably put a pillow between you just to really punctuate the fact that he’s still upset.
I’d say it could go 4 days to a week tops without you making up.
After a point though, he just can’t function until the issue is resolved. He can’t sleep, he’s falling behind on his work, and he’s just generally not doing well.
You get called to his office one night and find him at his desk surrounded by piles of paper, disheveled and exhausted.
“MC, come sit down. I’d like to talk this through. Please.”
Mammon:
He’s so dramatic.
You dare defy him? The Great Mammon can’t believe this tiny fragile human would have the audacity.
The theatrics are just a front though.
His ‘The Great Mammon’ act is a mask for his insecurity, one he hasn’t had to use with you in awhile.
Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets them.
He’s going to be very uncomfortable with everything until the argument is resolved, but most of all himself.
He’s learned not to take his brothers too seriously when they toss insults his way, but words have a way of morphing to belief over time.
Internally he is going to be super hard on himself. 
Regardless of if the fight was his fault or not, he’s going to kick himself constantly for making yet another mistake.
He’s over the argument pretty fast. The anger quickly melts into anxiety.
Are you going to leave him? Do you hate him? Did he hurt your feelings? 
That being said, he doesn’t know if you’re still mad and he doesn’t know how to ask. 
As a defense mechanism, he defaults to how he treated you when you first arrived in the devildom.
Calls you human, disregards you, stuff like that.
If you decide to sleep in another room, before midnight expect him to be knocking on the door.
“Oi, MC. You awake? I just - I can’t - *sigh* Can we talk about this?”
If you sleep in his bed, he makes a point of sleeping with his back to you.
Less because he’s actually mad and more because he doesn’t want his image of you as he drifts to sleep to be a look of anger.
Though as soon as he passes out he’ll roll over and tuck you into his arms on instinct.
I’d say any after effects of an argument with Mammon would be resolved in a day, maybe two tops.
Leviathan:
Arguing activates his trolling the forums mode.
Goes back to calling you a normie and contradicts everything you say.
He’s less mad about the argument and more using the bitterness to cope with how upset he is.
He feels like a break up is less of an if and more of a when.
Why would someone as amazing as you settle for weird otaku like him?
Honestly doesn’t understand why you’re with him in the first place, so when there’s a serious argument he assumes its over.
Tbh don’t know how you and Levi would sleep together being that I doubt two could fit in a tub, but any deviation to your routine sends him into a panic.
It’s his reality check that the situation is serious and he needs to fix it NOW.
He’d have trouble apologizing in person. He can’t think of what to say, he stumbles over his words, and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.
Instead, expect a long ass text message.
He says how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves you, and legit begs you to forgive him.
If you sleep with him like normal, he’ll probably try to make up after laying there for awhile. His mind is going a million miles an hour and there’s no way he can sleep.
Still really has trouble verbalizing how he feels, so give the poor boy a break and take over the conversation.
He hasn’t had a serious relationship before and he doesn’t know what he should do to make it better.
So the after effects will last however long it takes him to read several mangas, watch some anime, and play a few games to see how the characters get over arguments in the story.
Satan:
Satan makes sure not to fight with you over minor issues.
He’s worked tirelessly to tame his wrath and he refuses to feed into it over a minor issue.
Thus, if you fight with Satan it’s a major argument and it’s explosive.
The aftermath isn’t much better.
He doesn’t want to risk blowing up again, so he’s frighteningly calm.
He’s an absolute master of the silent treatment.
He won’t say a word to you until he’s certain he’s calmed down enough.
For the first few days he’ll straight up leave a room if you enter.
For a good while the only way you can expect to communicate with him is through his body language and the expression in his eyes.
Satan’s biggest fear is losing control and lashing out at you. 
He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you and he can’t stand the thought of you being afraid of him. 
He’s a whirlwind of emotions, so he isolates himself until he can figure out how to deal with it.
Not just from you, but from everyone else too. 
Satan will not share a bed with you for at least the first night.
If he got worked up enough to actually fight, it’s gonna take him time to simmer down.
And he’d rather not risk doing or saying something he regrets in the meantime.
Once he’s ready, he’ll approach you when he’s completely calmed down and has thoroughly analyzed the situation.
He’s considered both of your sides, tried to pinpoint what caused the disagreement to turn into a fight, and made a plan of action to prevent it from happening again.
“MC? I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what happened. Would you please talk it through with me?”
He won’t apologize for the argument if he feels like he was right, but he will apologize for letting the disagreement escalate into a fight.
Satan could go weeks without making up if necessary, but he tries to resolve it within a couple of days.
Asmodeus:
Wants to give you the silent treatment, but is physically incapable.
He can’t stand to have you ignore him.
He’s the type to go back to normal then suddenly remembers you guys had a fight.
“Wait, no! I’m not talking to you! I’m mad at you!”
His biggest downfall is that he’s so stubborn.
If he thinks he was right, he will die on that hill.
There are arguments with his brothers that happened a thousand years ago and he could still tell you exactly why he was right.
But with you, he realizes that doesn’t matter too him nearly as much as it usually does.
If it means going back to normal, he’ll forget who’s right or wrong.
If you sleep in another room, he’s beyond offended.
“What?! Well fine! I don’t want you in my bed anyway!”
Laying in bed alone is a different story though.
He can’t sleep. All he can think about is you. Your face when you sleep next to him, your smell, the feeling of his arms around you.
He 100% cries.
Finally goes and knocks on your door with wet, glossy eyes.
“MC? Can we talk about this? I can’t get my beauty sleep and my tears are wiping off all of my skin care lotion!”
Will throw himself into your arms before you can answer.
If you sleep next to him still, he rolls over and watches you sleep.
It puts him at peace and he decides seeing your sweet, resting face every morning is worth more to him than the argument.
He’ll initiate the conversation the next morning.
I think Asmo could make it a few days if it was a really serious argument, but he will not function well until you make up.
Beelzebub:
Wants to make up immediately.
He doesn’t like to argue, even less so with you.
Whether he was right or wrong, he blames himself. He’ll take all the blame in the world if it makes you happy.
He’ll go make you your favorite food and bring it to you.
If he thinks you don’t want to talk to him, he’ll leave it outside your door and text you to let you know it’s there.
He’s honestly devastated if you decide to sleep in another room.
You guys migrate to your old room when you want privacy from Belphie, but you almost never sleep separately.
Seeing you grab your pillows and march out of the room nearly stops his heart.
He goes completely numb and silent as he just stares at the space you had just occupied.
Like Levi, he thinks this means the relationship is over and he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.
He can’t even bring himself to eat, he just wants to lie there, lost and trying to grapple with his emotions. 
He’s another one who will absolutely cry, but unlike Asmo he will make sure no one knows it.
If you still sleep in his bed, he’s very nervous about it.
He doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch you, what he can or can’t say, stuff like that.
He just lays there stiff as a board not even able to close his eyes.
Honestly the fight would probably have to be resolved before bed. His anxiety just can’t take it.
I don’t think he’d initiate the apology. Not because he doesn’t want to make up but because his confidence is rock bottom in these situations.
He catastophizes and honestly thinks you hate him.
If you don’t initiate the apology soon, Belphie will. He can feel what his twin won’t say, and he knows Beel won’t approach you about it for fear of making it worse.
Belphie will lock you two in a room if that’s what it takes for you to make up.
Belphegor:
The embodiment of if looks could kill.
He won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, basically pretends you aren’t there.
If he must interact with you he’ll roll his eyes and sigh the whole time.
Tries to sleep through any interaction so he doesn’t have to deal with it.
He feels almost betrayed by the fight.
He thought the relationship was stronger than to have such a huge divide, so he’s really insecure about it.
After the first day, the anger has melted away to guilt.
He ‘s not guilty that you fought, but he is guilty about how he treated you after.
Guilt and self-blame have become unwelcome friends at this point. Guilt over Lilith, over his plans to destroy the human world, everything.
But more than anything else, the guilt for the fact that he attacked you weighs on him every day.
He moved past it quickly after, essentially pretending he hadn’t killed you, but that’s because he just couldn’t confront what he’d done. 
He feels like the luckiest demon alive that you forgave him, let alone  opened you heart enough to love him, and now it’s all in tatters.
Another thing to regret.
If you decide to sleep separately, it’ll hit him like a bag of bricks.
“You - what? Where are you going?” 
It’ll take him a second to process what you were doing, but then he’ll roll over and let you leave.
“Fine. Don’t let the door hit you.”
No one will see him for awhile. 
Belphie sleeps all the time anyway, but he just can’t make himself get out of bed.
If you don’t approach him to apologize, Beel will tell you that he’s been nauseous and randomly emotional which must mean his twin is coping very badly. 
Will beg you to go make Belphie happy again. 
If you sleep in his bed still, the argument will be resolved by morning.
He can’t keep himself from embracing you in his sleep, and it’s hard to say you’re mad at someone when you wake up in their loving arms.
It’s hard to pinpoint how long it could last with Belphie. If you don’t apologize first, he won’t let himself be conscious long enough to approach you.
This is both my first hc post as well as my first obey me post so I’m sorry if le boys are ooc. I just got this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it so here we are.  Especially Belphie, he was hard to me for some reason. Let me know if you guys agree or disagree and if you want to send a request or ask, my box is open! 
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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years ago
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“You’re not my real mom !” - Batkids x Fem!Reader (Batmom)
Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all... 
This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 
my masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives
__________________________________________________
DICK 
It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 
A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 
Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to...
You know what ? 
You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 
You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 
You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 
And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 
He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn't simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 
Yes. Time. 
It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 
But there were times, you had to say something. 
Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 
Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing...Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 
And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was...
“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 
And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 
“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 
Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down... 
Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol... 
The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :
“I told her she wasn’t my real mom...” 
“Ah.” 
Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 
And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 
“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I...” 
The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 
He probably understood more than anyone else. 
He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 
He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 
It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 
That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. ...How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 
Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 
Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 
“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left...
And Bruce remembered. 
The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.
It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just...He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 
It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away...”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 
Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 
Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 
Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 
Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 
“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 
Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  
His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred... 
Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 
Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room... 
************
Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 
Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 
Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom... 
You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 
Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 
It was only midnight ? 
“Hello, my love.” 
He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it...You knew he knew.
He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 
He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 
He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe...And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  
There was no need for words. 
He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 
He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 
“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 
You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 
************
You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  
He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 
He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 
You went down to the kitchen and... 
Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.
The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 
The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and...
Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 
There was a small silence. Awkward. And...
Your heart tightened. 
Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 
Oh. But of course. 
“He didn’t mean it.” 
Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes...He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 
“Ice cream ?” 
You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re...not mad at him ? 
Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 
You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 
At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 
He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 
The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 
Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 
You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 
You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 
Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 
Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 
Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 
Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!
You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 
“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 
He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 
“I know.” 
And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery... 
Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that...
He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 
************
After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 
“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 
He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 
“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 
He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 
“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 
He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 
“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 
He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour...
Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 
Your son. 
************
Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 
He often thought about it. 
Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always...
He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 
And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 
Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 
Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 
Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 
JASON 
"Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 
He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 
He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and...
There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 
Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 
Yes. Yes he did it...He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 
He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most...His mom. You. 
Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 
He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough and...it happened before he could think about it. 
He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him... 
A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 
“You’re not my mom !” 
And that was it...
As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !
“Jason !” 
Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 
Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 
Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn't been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words... 
“Let him be, Bruce.” 
You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 
Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 
Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought... 
“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 
He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 
It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck...But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 
Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?
No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 
Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 
In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms... As usual, Bruce was there for you. 
************
“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 
“No.” 
“Really, why did you come then ?” 
“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 
“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 
“TAKE IT BACK !” 
As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 
The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 
“Wow there tiger, relax.” 
Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 
He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires...Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 
He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him...Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 
And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 
“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 
Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders...It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars... 
The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 
Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again... Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 
As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and...getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 
Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 
“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 
Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 
“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore...” 
But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 
And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.
See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 
So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 
************
“Have you seen Jason ?” 
Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 
“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”
“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 
“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me...” 
“He would never.” 
“Bruce...” 
“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 
“Bruce...” 
Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 
“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 
“You’re right.” 
“Of course I am, I’m-”
“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 
Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 
He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 
“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 
Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 
************
“HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A FUCKING KID ?!” 
Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 
They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 
Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 
Jason turned in an alley and...Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways...
He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 
“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”
Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 
Bruce had come down from nowhere, with...you in his arms ?! 
This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually...fight ?! 
And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 
Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 
You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 
That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule...but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 
Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But...why ? 
He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 
Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 
“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re...” 
Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 
Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 
“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 
You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 
“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 
You say, not letting go. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” 
Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 
“I’m just glad you’re safe...it’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten...” 
And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 
“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe...”
Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 
Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 
Tightly against your heart. 
“Mom...” 
This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 
So much. 
And they’d never let him go. Never. 
************
Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 
From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him...
He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it...He didn’t matter enough. 
Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 
But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up...” 
You never give up. 
Love. 
It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 
Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 
Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.
You never give up. 
He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family...that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 
He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 
He could never. 
Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 
It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize...nothing was a lie.
And you got your son back.
Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.
When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same... 
Jason never gave up. 
But you didn’t either. 
“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 
“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 
And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in...
TIM 
Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 
He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice... 
He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 
“But you’re not my mom.” 
He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 
Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 
By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 
In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 
He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 
So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood...
How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”...
His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event...She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !
What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy...
Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).
To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  
He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 
And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom...
Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 
For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren't their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 
That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 
But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 
It hurt so much, because that boy...You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right now...so far... 
You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 
Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? ...You didn’t know, but it hurt. 
It hurt so much. 
************
You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world...But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 
“What happened ?” 
************
“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 
Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren't in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 
Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 
Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 
When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 
Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom...
Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 
Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 
“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 
He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence... 
And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 
“No, she just closed her eyes.” 
Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 
“Oh...” 
Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.
“What is it, champ ?” 
“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 
The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 
You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 
His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 
It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him...You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 
“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 
A...Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 
You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 
He turns it around and...
Your heart drops. 
It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about...about...
“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 
What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 
“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 
Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 
And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 
“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 
But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-
“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 
You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and...So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 
Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”
You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 
“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 
CASSANDRA
"You, not my mom !” 
She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 
And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 
It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 
It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you... 
It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 
Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough...Oh you were so mad at him. 
It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 
And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 
Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 
Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task... 
You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and...
“You, not my mom !” 
The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 
Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 
Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 
You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 
This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 
Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  
Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 
It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 
However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc...
Tonight, was such a time. 
“You, not my mom !” 
Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 
And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 
Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 
As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 
************
Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 
In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 
She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 
When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away...
She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 
The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 
But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 
Anger. 
The ugly force. 
She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 
It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 
She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 
“Can we come in ?” 
It was her older brothers. 
Dick, Jason and Tim. 
It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce...but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 
So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 
And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?
Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 
She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 
They surrounded her, and their presence was so...soothing. 
And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 
“You’re not my real mom !” 
They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that...well, they did have the best mom ever. 
You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 
You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 
Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior...
It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 
She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 
On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did...wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 
She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 
On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son...on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 
She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 
On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends...But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 
And Cass...Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 
They knew that, too.
It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course...
It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 
************
Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 
You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.
Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 
But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 
Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him...Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 
The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and...You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 
She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 
You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 
Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 
“Sorry mom...” 
And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 
And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 
And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 
It beats for your family. 
For her family.
Family. 
She has a family. 
And you are her mom. 
Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never... 
Cass never felt safe and warm. 
Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 
“Family...”
She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 
DAMIAN 
Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 
Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 
When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 
“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 
“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”
Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 
Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 
Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way... 
Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 
However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore...School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and...
And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 
He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 
And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty...What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 
Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 
************
The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 
To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 
Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn't mean it... 
He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 
“Father ?”
“Yes ?”
“Is-is mom ok ?”
“Well, what do you think ?” 
“She doesn’t seem ok.” 
“Do you know why ?” 
“Did you do something to upset her ?” 
Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.
But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 
Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 
Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.
Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 
Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn't get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer...Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc...The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you...Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 
And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really...No one but him would get it. 
Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 
And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson...You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard to...to... 
Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care... 
Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 
But it wasn’t obvious. 
Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 
“Since when is she acting odd ?” 
“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”
It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom... 
But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh... 
“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 
“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um...Cass um...Cass didn’t do anything bad really...None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 
Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 
Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 
This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 
Just like his father. 
Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 
Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 
“What about last night ?” 
“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 
Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly...What he told his mom. 
“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 
Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 
“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 
And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and...Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 
************
Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment...up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 
Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  
Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully...
************
When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 
He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 
“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! YOU ARE MY REAL MOM ! I WAS JUST ANGRY ! I’M SORRY !!” 
You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 
“THIS IS A DRAWING OF YOU ! I MADE IT FOR YOU !! YOU ARE MY MOM ! YOU REALLY ARE ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !! I’M SORRY !! DO NOT BE MAD AT ME !!” 
Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 
“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes...I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 
Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 
“I LOVE YOU !!” 
You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 
“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 
Damian took a step back from you and said : 
“BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF AND JASON TOLD ME THAT SAYING THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY MIGHT HELP !! AND HE’S RIGHT !! I LOVE YOU !!”
Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad...It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 
It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 
Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already killed before. Oh no. On the contrary. 
“I love you too, my little one...” 
You say, as he goes back for another hug, clearly relieved you’re not mad at him. From this day on, he swore to himself that he would really try to tell others’ what he truly felt, even if it meant yelling it at them. Because other wise...otherwise it’d create this sort of terrible situations, in which his mom thought he didn’t think of her as his mom ! 
He couldn’t have it, anymore. Many “I LOVE YOU !!” were heard in the Manor, from that point on. 
DUKE 
“You know you can tell me anything, right ?” 
Duke doesn’t know why this time, this made him snap. 
Today was the anniversary of when his parents got “jokerize”, it had been two years already...And not one step closer to cure them ! He was so frustrated, sad, and lost. And you noticed. 
Duke tend to try to keep things inside. Not that he didn’t want to bother anyone, more like he just thought he HAD to handle things himself. Like it would make him stronger, and therefor, he could protect those he cares about. 
He could protect them, unlike when he could do nothing but watch as his parents fell into madness...He couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to you, Bruce, or any member of this family ! Not again. 
He couldn’t bear it...
“You’re not even my mom ! Stop acting like you are !” 
Are the words he heard himself scream at you as you asked him if everything was ok, and if he needed to talk. As you were caring, once again, and he just couldn’t...he couldn’t stand it ! Not today.
Not today. 
He immediately saw on your face the way you shut down, and took one step behind. The way your face “closed”, and as you said : “I understand.” and left the room, your body stiff and your face inexpressive (which was very unlike you), Duke felt it. 
The guilt. 
Right away.
When those dreaded words were said by all your other kids, they were young. They were all under the age of ten, and the immediate consequences of their actions didn’t truly registered. 
But Duke. 
Duke was almost eighteen. And he knew. He knew he hurt you. 
He felt the need to run after you and apologized, but there was something stopping him. 
After all, it was true right, you weren’t his mom ! His mom was still alive, and she could be cured one day ! HE ALREADY HAVE A MOM ! 
So what if you always cooked him his favorite meal, or knew exactly what his favorite food was ? So what if you would go out of your way to grab his favorite burger from his favorite joints when you knew he felt down ? 
So what, if you were always there when he was sad ? Cheering him up with comfort food, kind words, and just your presence ? 
So what if you knew exactly what would make him feel better, which movie to put on to put a smile on his face ? 
So what, if you spend entire night right by his bedside when he got really hurt, or when he was sick ? 
So what if you’d listen to him at any time of the day or night, and always took time to give him your thoughts on the matter, and truly, truly listen to what he was saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak ? 
So what if you’d make him laugh, smile, feel loved, even as he felt so alone and isolated, especially after he discovered his powers ? 
So what if you never made him feel like he was different because of it ? 
So what if you opened your house’s door without a second thought for this unknown teenager who was also a meta ?!
So what...so what...so what if you obviously cared a lot, and if you...if you... 
He already had a mom. And she might get better one day. 
He couldn’t have two moms. 
...
...
Right ? 
What would happen when his parents would be cured ? Forget all his feelings for the Waynes ? So it’d be easier to pretend he wasn’t part of the family, right ? 
It would be easier. 
Yes. 
But it was too late. 
It was too late... 
He ran after you. Caught up with you in the corridor. Tears in his eyes, he said : 
“I’m sorry, please don’t go...”
And fell into your arms. Almost eighteen years old, yes, but still needed the support of a mother. Of his mother. 
And you were there. You’d always be there, no matter what happened in the future. And he needed you, especially in that moment of frustration, where he really missed his parents, and was starting to lose hope to ever find a cure... 
And you were there.
Who ever made a rule that you could have only one mom anyway, right ?
BRUCE 
They did tell him “you’re not my dad !” too. And for him, it was as terrible as for you. If not worst, on certain aspect. Especially since he had a hard times truly expressing his feelings more often than not. 
He knows how devastating it can feel. He knows it even more, because not only did he feel it as they told him “you’re not my dad !”, but he also felt it as he told Alfred “you’re not my dad !”. He knew the feelings from both sides. 
It enhanced everything. 
Of course, in general, Bruce always felt things more than anyone else around him. He was born like that. Hypersensitive. That’s why he worked so much on hiding his true feelings, and appearing detached and cold. 
It’s much easier, than to always being overemotional. Of course, it didn’t mean he felt nothing. On the contrary, he felt everything. He was just better, nowadays, at pretending he was okay. At pretending he didn’t care. 
Ah. But you existed. 
You. 
The only person that could always see through his bullshit, and know when he was lying and fake smiling. 
Between the two of you, there has always been something. Even before you were together. It was an irrational and irresistible attraction. 
An unbreakable bond. Always supporting each others. 
You have no idea how you’d live without him. And he couldn’t even fathom a world without you. It’s a world he wouldn’t like very much...  
Even during the worst times, and oh you went through a lot together, you knew at least...at least you’d have warm arms to fall asleep in. At least, you’d have each others. 
Bruce had known pain so strong he sometimes wished death would just take him away. And then you came in. Ready to put up with his shit, and to not give up on him even when he gave you every reason to. 
And oh, oh he gave you back everything times a thousand. You knew he’d never let you fall. Not alone. 
Whenever something hurtful as your children telling you two you weren’t their real parents happened...It’s when you truly realized how vital you were to each others. 
When you fell, Bruce was there to catch you. 
When he fell, you were there to catch him. 
Better to fall together, than to stand alone. 
__________________________________________________
And here we are :). I hope you liked it ? Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if you want to ^^. I’m a little afraid I disappointed y’all for some reasons haha. I couldn’t explain. Self-confidence crisis hahaha. I finished writing that late, and exhausted after a hard week, maybe it plays into account ? Anyway, I really do hope you enjoyed your time reading this :). And thanks for reading, of course ^^. 
7K notes · View notes
im-a-gaymess · 3 years ago
Text
How do I tell him?
Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.
7th Year.
Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.
Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).
Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.
Word Count: 1786
A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share
[1:42 AM]
"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.
You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.
And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.
If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.
For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.
But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.
Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.
"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.
"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.
"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.
[Following day, 4:27 PM]
Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?
But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.
Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.
Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.
[5:54 PM]
What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.
You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?
Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.
[6:11 PM]
To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.
"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.
That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.
It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.
"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.
He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.
He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?
"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.
You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.
That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.
You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.
The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.
Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.
You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.
That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.
And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.
Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.
════════════════════
Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.
"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.
"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.
"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.
Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"
The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.
"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.
The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.
Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.
You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.
Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.
Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.
"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.
He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.
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hops-hunny · 3 years ago
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Pride Lost, Feelings Found
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Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader
Pronouns: They/Them
Word Count: 2.2k
Request: @summerstardust  “Could you do a Neville with a gender neutral reader. It can fluff/smut/bit of both 🤷, whatever you want. With the prompts: 4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?”, 12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” and 17. "Make me fall in love with you.”
Maybe where Neville is secretly crushing on the reader from afar and the reader is told, in some way, about this and he just runs away from the scene. Then the reader follows and finds him and tells him that they want to get to know him.
Don’t feel pressured to use this idea, though. I am just feeling a bit angsty at the moment. Thank you! :)”
Summary: It all crumbles down before Neville’s eyes, but it’s replaced with something he’d never expect.
Warnings: angst but it turns to fluff!!
A/N: Ok ok, if you want a part 2 with what happens after reader says that? Lmk and I’ll probably write it! I’m so sorry this took so long esp for one of my favorite readers. I hope you enjoy <3
4. "You think she looks at me? Am I invisible?” 
12. "I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.” 
17. "Make me fall in love with you.”
Sometimes Neville wish he had never noticed (Y/n). But when you shine as bright as they did, how couldn't you notice? They bewitching, enchanting everyone around them with a simple smile, him included. However when miracles as amazing as (Y/n) come to be, so does a lot of attention. He adored everything about them, the way they always smeared their ink on their scroll when they wrote, how they’d walk into class every morning with that same sleepy expression, even down to the way they’d always have to pull their socks up because they got the wrong size and they’d fall down. They was his dream partner. But sadly, that’s the thing about dream lovers, they’re meant to stay dreams.
From as long as Neville could remember, he had been on the bottom of the social ladder. Hell, when your familiar (who is also a toad) causes a wild goose chase during your first years at a new school, it’s really not hard to understand why. If it had been someone else instead of him, he would've made fun of them too. He was a loser and no one would ever let him forget. Not his friends, not Malfoy, not anyone. But they did. In all his years at Hogwarts, (Y/n) had never made him feel like a loser. Every interaction the two of them had made him feel normal, like himself.
Granted every interaction they had was small. Accidentally bumping into them in the halls, a tight lip smile when eye contact was made. One time he thought (Y/n) was waving to him but was in fact waving to their friend behind him but luckily they hadn't seen (Malfoy definitely did..). Out of all the people who could have noticed the way he looked at them or the way his cheeks would turn red when they'd pass him it had to be Malloy. That was awful for a multitude of reasons. One being that for some reason, (L/n) and Malfoy were the best of friends. Everyday he wished that it was him who got sat next to them in potions instead of that weasel of a boy. The second reason being that despite knowing how Neville felt for them, he still had yet to do anything with the information. To most people, they’d be relieved if Malfoy found out one of their most personal pieces of information and had yet to do anything but, Neville knew better. Draco was a vile creature and if he hadn’t teased him about it yet, that surely meant something even greater was coming. Something truly awful and devastating. 
The first week after Malfoy found out had Neville staying up to the break of dawn, stirring around restlessly at the thought of what he’d do. Would he spill something on him when he was set to have a class with them, tape a note to the back of his shirt with the information on it, or worse...no, no. Not even Malfoy was cruel enough to do that! If anything, if he was going to tell (Y/n) he’d probably do it when Neville wasn’t around so they could come up to him and reject him at random. Although it was sad, what got Neville to sleep at night was imagining that they already knew. That (Y/n) was more than aware and it was only a matter of time till they’d reject him and his life would go back to normal without any pesky thoughts of how beautiful he found them to be.
--------------------------------
Seamus’s words went in one of Neville’s ears and right back out of the other, sounding like white noise to the boy. He couldn’t listen to whatever idiotic thing he was going on about. How could he when (Y/n) was a few feet away, looking just as gorgeous as they usually did? It was hard not to focus on them, the way their pretty lips would curl into a smile, giggling at something one of their friends had said. He felt a smile grace his own lips at the sight, letting out a noise of protest as Ron chucked a cushion at his head.
“Are you even, listening Longbottom?” he heard him ask, still not ripping his eyes away from the (y/h/h) across the hall.
“You think they look at me? Am I invisible?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he was to speak any louder, they would somehow hear them despite them being so far away. Seamus let out a loud snort, beginning to cackle as he slapped the boy on the back a bit too hard.
“Fat chance, Longbottom! You think (L/n) would notice you? They wouldn’t even notice me, and that’s saying something!” Seamus wheezed out. Neville shot him a pointed glare, fuming from the boy’s words. He shoved him off the couch, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not that people don’t notice you Seamus….it’s that they do for all the wrong reasons.” Dean pointed out, causing the other 3 to laugh, growing louder as Seamus failed to push himself off the ground. 
“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.” he froze at the sound of the cold voice, turning around to look at the platinum blonde prince himself. Draco stood their, smirking. Crabbe and Goyle tried to nod along when in reality, they had no idea what their leader was going on about. Neville gulped, standing up to face him completely.
“W-what do you mean?” he asked him, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. Draco simply shrugged, beginning to walk in the opposite direction. He turned around briefly looking the boy up and down.
“Means exactly what I said. Nothing more, nothing less. Well as much as I’d love to stay around and lose brain cells with you idiots, I’ve got better things to attend to.” and with that he left.
“Don’t worry, Nev. Draco is always just talk, I’m sure nothing will come of it.” Harry said, offering the boy a reassuring smile. Although Neville knew he meant well, he couldn’t stop the sinking, tight feeling in his chest. Draco had yet to do something so he had no reason to feel this way, but it was just a hunch that the worst was yet to come.
Even hours later, as Neville lay in his bed that night, all he could think about were the words that echoed throughout his head over and over.
“Oh don’t worry, Longbottom. (L/n) will be sure to notice you soon enough.”
He didn’t know if he was grateful for how vague that was or if it was the bane of his days. Draco could’ve meant anything by that, all he knew is whatever it meant the intent behind his words were less than kind. He turned again, sighing as he looked out the window. There was a full moon tonight, a beautiful silver halo of light dancing its way around it. 
“Merlin, save me please.” he pleaded quietly, to no one in particular. Every bit of hope, every positive thought laced in his words. Although he prepared for the worse to happen, he had a sliver of hope that it wouldn’t. That tomorrow he’d wake up and his day would be as mundane as usual, just the way he’d like it. And if he was lucky (Y/n) would give him a small smile in the hall.
---------------------------
Neville’s small sliver of hope had grown into an entire cake. Looking back on earlier in the week, he was worried for absolutely nothing! Malfoy once again was all bark and no bite which for once, he was glad for! He let out a sigh of content as he made his way from the library, heading in the direction of the main corridor. He saw Seamus give him an uncharacteristically serious look from the small crowd that was gathered around something. As he grew closer, in the middle of the circle he saw Draco stood on a crate as (Y/n) sat next to him, listening as he read something from a paper. 
“Nev, you might wanna...might wanna leave.” Seamus whispered to him. However, he looked as people stared at him, some giggling while some look sympathetic.
“Why? What’s going o-”
“Here’s another one I found in his bin! ‘Dear (Y/n), although I’ll never give you this letter, I can’t help but write about how amazing you are! When I saw you help that injured bird the other day, I wanted nothing more than to help you tend to it. I find it funny how even when you’re sad, you manage to brighten up my day.’ God how dorky is this loser? I can’t believe he fancies you so much (Y/n)!” Draco howled in laughter, a few others joining him. Neville found himself at the forefront of the circle, frozen in his spot. That was his letter! He had started writing them as a way of coping with his feelings, knowing that the person he fancied would always be out of reach of him. “Anything to say for yourself, Longbottom?”
Neville felt tears well in his eyes, the warmth of them mixing with the heat of his red flushed face. “I...I..” he looked at (Y/n) who look like they had something to say however, he didn’t wanna stick around to hear it. Without another word, he ran off, tears streaming down his face as soon as he was far enough from anyone. In his time of despair, he ran to his only place of comfort. The one place that he wasn’t Neville, the loser who just had his feelings ripped from safe keeping in front of half the students in his year. The place where he was just Neville.
He took in a deep breath of the familiar muggy air of the greenhouse, relaxing slightly as he took a seat on the ground. “God I’m so stupid!” he wailed, tears flowing down his face. His crying grew harder, harsh hiccups shaking and jolting his body as he screamed into his knees. He knew there was a matter of time before (Y/n) was to find out, he just didn’t know it’d be like this. If this was just the pain from them learning about his feelings, he didn’t wanna know how bad he’d be wounded when they came to reject him. Neville’s head jolted up at the sound of soft footsteps making their way over to him. He noticed the familiar pair of black shoes, turning his head as they kneeled down in front of him.
“I thought you may be here! You always seemed so passionate about plants during herbology so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to check here first.” (Y/n) said, placing a hand on the boy’s knee. He looked down at where they connected, feeling his face flush slightly from the contact. “You know, your friends care about you a lot. After you ran off, Ginny came up and socked Draco straight in the face. It was quite a sight really.” they let out a soft giggle at the memory. “Hermione went in to drag her off but when she saw how smug Draco looked, she couldn’t help but to join in. While they did that, your other friends set off looking for you and I did too.”
“Why?” he asked, catching their attention. The (y/h/h) gave him a confused look, tilting their head to the side. “Why did you come looking for me? Don’t you hate me now? Gross, stupid Longbottom having a crush on Hogwart’s sweetheart. How pathetic, huh?” he sniffled, ripping his eyes away from them. He knew if he was to continue to look, a completely new set of tears would be triggered.
“Why wouldn’t I? I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t! Although I don’t know much about you, I do know you’re a kind individual and you didn’t deserve what Draco did to you.” they said in a soft tone, moving into the spot next to Neville. They sat in silence for a moment before (Y/n) cleared their throat, looking over at him once more. “How long?”
“Pardon?”
“I mean, how long have you liked me for? I wasn’t even aware until today.” they queried curiously.
“I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed. I don’t blame you for not noticing though, we’re from two different worlds. You’ve got everyone in hogwarts begging for a moment of your time and you hang out with some of the most elite and prestigious people in the castle.” he sniffled some, wiping his nose on his sleeve as he set his hand down on the cold cement ground. “It was stupid of me to let my feelings last for so long.”
“Why was it stupid?” they asked, scooting closer to him. Neville turned to look at them, losing his breath at their closeness.
“Because you don’t feel the same..not that I expected you to. You didn’t even know I existed until today.” he let out a huff of air. (Y/n) bit the inside of their cheek before placing their hand on top of Neville’s, tangling their fingers together.
“You’re right, I don’t feel the same,” they started, tightening their grip as the boy began to get up. “But that doesn’t mean I never will. Let’s get to know each other a bit more.” they leaned in closer, the feeling of both of their breath being exchanged like whispers amongst their lips. 
“Make me fall in love with you.”
TAGSLIST:@vayeya11 @pink-hufflepuff  @clancyscookies @beewitchedlou​ 
@nevillelongbottomsgirlfriend​ @redpanda-poetry​ @vibingaesthetically​
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starglow-xx · 4 years ago
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owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada & port mafia (part 1)
platonic! edogawa ranpo x f! reader
type of writing: head canons !!
this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!
tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!
series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting these fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them! but only at the cost of your peace and sanity. 
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: fluff & platonic stuff
author’s notes: this will be a multiple part series of head canons and this is only part one! this series will include both the agency and port mafia members, and then something special for the end. maybe i’ll even write a real one shot/scenario for it. if there’s enough interest, i might open up a tag list for this! i hope you all enjoy!! <33
also, ranpo is 25 in this part; kenji, atushi, kyouka, and the tanizaki siblings aren’t part of the agency yet, only yosano, kunikida, and dazai are, but in the next couple parts, it will be established that the tanizakis are
and (n/n) means nickname :)
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meeting the greatest detective
your bakery, Sakura’s, which you named after your late grandmother (who was also your guardian), went into business when you were 18 right after graduating high school
who needed a culinary course when you were trained by dear ol grandma?
your grandmother died when you were 16, just as you started your second year of high school
you were devastated of course, but you knew she wouldn’t want you to wallow over it too long
so in those last two hard years of high school, you took part time jobs at other bakeries and saved lots and lots of money
by graduation, using your life savings, the money your grandmother had left for you, and all the money you earned working, you were able to buy the small building—with a reasonable amount of money left over to survive— you and your grandmother had been eyeing back in her hometown, yokohama, to start your bakery
the building was a bit run down, but you were planning to give it a makeover anyways
it was a bit smaller compared to other buildings around, only having two stories, but on the plus side, the second floor had taller ceilings and was an apartment
is that realistic? probably not but bare with me here 
aNYWHO
you finished putting your bakery up in about 4 months, then finished up your apartment 2 more after
you opened Sakura’s at 7 in the morning then closed at 8 in the evening
when you first started, you did quite well!!
especially with those who went to work on early mornings and families
the time when you first opened was the most peaceful, but you admitted that it was a bit boring, and you wished for a bit more excitement
and boy, the day edogawa ranpo stepped into your bakery was the catalyst for the chaos and excitement that was soon to come
not that you knew that
if you did you would’ve never let him in
maybe
you were 19 when ranpo discovered Sakura’s, and it was completely accidental
he finished solving a case and was on the way back to the agency, and he—not surprisingly—got lost and then it started to rain really hard
it was pouring; there was even the cliche thunder strike and everything
you saw the brown clad man across the street and you ran out with two umbrellas (almost getting hit by a car mind you) handed one to him and practically dragged him inside
with the heavy rain on the forecast, Sakura’s was empty, so you gently pushed him down on a chair and you rushed away to find towels
even though the two of you had umbrellas, the two of you were still soaked 
finding said towels, you quickly dried yourself the best you could then you draped your towel over your back and rushed over to give him his as well as a warm pastry and your special hot honey lemon tea
ranpo laughed as you placed down the refreshment and snack, thinking that you knew who he was and was giving him special treatment
poor bby blinked and went :0 when you said you didn’t
“you don’t know who i am?”
“no. am i supposed to?”
“...”
the 25 year old blanked and you worried that you broke him and started to apologize profusely 
he cut you off claiming that he got over it he didnt but seeing as the bakery was empty and it was pouring pretty badly, he demanded you give him all your attention sit with him so he could tell you all about himself and what he’s done
the two of you got along quite well
you were amazed with all the stories he’s told you 
you honestly acted like a cute little kid listening to fairytales
he told you that and in response you threw a napkin at him
“wow ranpo-san! that’s amazing!!”
“you look like a little kid”
cue the napkin
he was happy with all the attention, praise, and sweets you gave him
the agency gave him praise sure, and made sure he had a lot of snacks but it was refreshing to have someone give him this much and your treats were the best he’s ever had
after he told you all his most interesting cases, the two of you just rambled about the most randomest things; going from the best desserts and snacks to the stupidest things his coworkers have done
you guys were on that last topic for a while
you two talked and rambled for hours, and when it hit hour two and the rain was still pouring, you just went ahead and slipped the “we’re open” sign to “closed” even though it was only 2 o’clock
you thought that this was probably the loving goofy older brother relationship that you missed out on
“ranpo-san, you’re kind of like the brother i’ve never had”
“and you’re still like that little kid”
cue another napkin to the face
don’t worry, he already adores you <3 
he just likes to make fun of you </3
*cuts you off as you’re talking to squish your cheeks* “(y/n) you still have a lot of baby fat and you’re pretty short...are you sure you’re still not in high school or smth??”
*incoherent talking due to pressure on cheeks* “ranpo-san you have 3 seconds before i kick you out”
at around 6, the rain came to a stop and by then, the both of you were all dried up
before he left, you gave him a map so that he hopefully wouldn’t get lost again and gave him a couple boxes of treats for him to have and to share with his coworkers
you closed early so you had to give away at least some of the remaining treats somehow
he wanted you to go to agency with him so he didn’t have to carry everything but you declined saying that you didn’t want to bc you wanted to rest
and for payback for calling you a little kid
you were 19 goddamnit
you already placed everything neatly into two bags so it was easy to carry but this bitch still had the audacity to pout and whine at you
and he calls you the little kid, jeez
you never told him but, you almost gave in
you never told him. but he probably already knows
ranpo san knows all after all; even you knew that by now
the two of you had also exchanged phone numbers and when the two of you showed each other what you each put for a contact name along with the note below, the two of you broke out into grins
you named him “the greatest detective <33″ & put the note “new nii-san <33 & bully </3″ and he named you “cute bakery girl” with the note “best follower, sweets supply & annoying little kid”
when he left, you properly closed the bakery and taped a sign to the door saying that you closed early for personal reasons
when everything was cleaned up, you marched up into your bedroom, plopped on your bed, and took a nap
you deserved it
at the agency not too long after that, ranpo had arrived and when he opened the door, everyone rushed towards him in concern asking if he was okay
he waved them off and walked towards his desk and plopped down in his seat
he placed the two bags in front of him and took out a box of cream puffs and started to snack on them
his coworkers watched him blankly as his scarfed down one after another
after finishing that box, he rummaged through the bags to look through the different kinds of pastries you’ve given him 
noticing that there were people still staring at him he paused before sighing in exasperation
he began to whine at his coworkers saying that no one told him it was gonna rain and that they were lucky that he happened to be in front of Sakura’s
“why did no one tell me?! it was pouring and i was soaked! you guys are lucky that (n/n)-chan’s bakery was right there! you would’ve probably lost me! how would the agency even function without me here?!”
no one wanted to be the one to tell him that they had no idea who he was talking about and that they did in fact tell him that it was gonna pour
they can save that, and their questions for another time
next >>
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fanmoose12 · 3 years ago
Text
the devil you know
Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert
Genres: Action / Drama
Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?
Сhapter 7/?
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Сhapter 6
Life had never been particularly kind to Hange Zoe. Tragedies and heartbreaks followed her ever since the day she was born – kicking, screaming and nearly killing her own mother. Her mother never recovered from that blow, her health diminishing while vexation with her own child grew.
That day gave a start to Hange’s life – and to the endless stream of misfortunes she had to face.
Those misfortunes frequented, the amount of bad days increased as Hange was becoming older. But even as a child, driven solely by curiosity and fascination for the world, uncaring of the workings and the rules of the society around her, she had her fair share of frustrations. They usually appeared when her father was around – luckily, due to the nature of his work, he very rarely was. Hange didn’t know her father well, he was always absent, always somewhere else, doing something incredibly important, shaping the future of their country. He was many things - a leader, soldier, hero. But he was not a father. Hange had but a few memories of him, and after all these years she had forgotten the sound of his voice, couldn’t for the life of her remember if his hair was as brown as her own, or had she inherited that vivid color from her mother. But what Hange could never forget, what was etched into her memory for all eternity was the look in his eyes – full of incomprehension, bewilder, disappointment – that he always aimed at her. No matter what she did – excitedly gushed about her studies, showed him a shiny rock she found or urged to go and see the frog she caught, her father had the same reaction, always told her the same thing,
“I expected better from you, Hange.”
Those words were the first dagger that was buried in her chest. But it was far from being the only one.
Her father died before she reached her eleventh birthday. And despite the mourning clothes mother had forced her to wear, despite the endless eulogies she had to sit through, Hange didn’t feel the same sadness that everyone around her did, she didn’t – couldn’t – share their pain or understand their grief. Her father meant something for all those people, but to her he was just a stranger, an unpleasant one at that. When he died, a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Without him, it was so much easier to breathe.
But her sorrows, her frustrations— sadly, they didn’t end with her father’s death.
Once Hange finished her studies, completed her training, she was sent to the outside world, far away from Marley. And for a moment, for one fleeting moment, she was happy, excited to do what she always wanted – learn and explore. But she was not meant to busy herself with research, to familiarize herself with different cultures, she was sent to these distant lands as a soldier, a weapon of great Marleyan Empire. Instead of books and quills, she held a rifle and a knife. And the only thing she learnt was how much blood her motherland was spilling on the foreign soils.
Sleep was coming harder to her after that, her dreams were haunted by visions of red, by screams of pain and anguish. She had become a soldier, her hands made for creation were now covered in blood. Her brilliant mind was now broken by the horrors she had faced.
And so Hange decided to cover herself in thick armor, to hide behind a smile and false happiness. The bad days persisted, losses following after her like a shadow, chasing like an infatuated lover, but she didn’t let it break her, continued moving forward with her chin raised high and her lips curled up.
However, despite the positive attitude she had adopted, there were lots of days Hange considered bad, awful even – the day when she learned just how Titans were created, what price Eldians had to pay for that; the day when she realized that her teacher, brilliant Tom Ksaver was one of those so called shifters, that his days in this world would end abruptly; the day when she received her first wound and spent the night in infirmary, wallowing in pain; the day when she killed another human for the first time and saw the light fading from someone else’s eyes; the day when Wall Maria fell and she witnessed just how much destruction and devastation she helped to bring to this little island; the day when Mike and Nanaba died; the day when her squad perished; the day when she had to leave Paradis behind; the day when she was brought back.
There were lots of days Hange considered to be bad. But nothing – absolutely nothing – could compare to the fucking shit show that was waiting for her next.
___
This fateful day was off to a good, if only slightly weird, start. As always she was woken up by a knock on the door. However, this one was very different from Moblit’s – less rhythmic, and much louder. In fact, it didn’t sound like a knock at all, more like someone was kicking the door repeatedly.
Confused and still sleepy, Hange rolled from the bed and went to greet her guest, not bothering to put her glasses on. Behind the now opened door she found… a shape that could or could not belong to a human. She raised her hand, mumbled a quick ‘sorry’ and darted back inside the room, blindly searching for her glasses.
Once the specs took their rightful place on the bridge of her nose, Hange returned back to the shape that now took the form of a young, blonde man. She trailed her gaze down, to the tray he was holding. There were plates with pastries, omelet, sandwiches, sausages and a cup with brown liquid that had steam coming out of it.
“I’m sorry,” she spoke through her confusion, “But do I know you?”
“Not… yet?”
Hange couldn’t understand if his words were meant to be an affirmation or a question. Nevertheless, she took a step back, letting him in.
He went straight to setting up the table, humming under his breath as he did so. Hange watched him work, not knowing how to feel – puzzled or amused. She tried to catch the boy’s gaze and ask for his name, but, considering the amount of food he brought and how exquisitely delicious it looked, Hange already had a pretty solid guess about the persona of her visitor.
“Be my guest,” he gestured to the table after he finished setting it. Then, as an afterthought, he added, “My name is Niccolo.”
“I guessed it already,” Hange smiled, taking a seat. Her stomach growled, as the delicious smell of homemade food entered her nostrils, her mouth filling with saliva even before she took a fork in her hands. She forced herself to look away from the food, however, directing her eyes at the man who had prepared it all. “Thank you for the food, but may I ask what is the occasion?”
Niccolo didn’t answer right away. He took his time, dragging the chair to sit on the other side of the table, then absentmindedly fixing the napkin and pushing the plate closer to Hange.
She didn’t urge him, patiently waiting for him to start talking. She had a feeling that whatever he came here to tell her was going to be extremely interesting.
And Niccolo didn’t disappoint.
“I’ve spent most of my life hating Eldians. Like every good, conscious Marleyan, I believed them to be devils and abominations. When these people captured me I thought it’d be better to die than live among them. But then I’ve got to know them better, I cooked for them, I’ve talked with them, I… grew to like some of them.”
He took a pause, and Hange used this moment to push some food into her mouth. Just as she expected – it was finger-liking good. And it tasted even better, because she also had an intriguing story she could listen to while eating.
“And there is one person that I like most of all, more than anyone I had ever met. I’ve realized my feelings long ago - perhaps, they were born the moment that I set my eyes on her, perhaps, it was destiny that brought both of us together. And to think of it – a Marleyan and an Eldian. If someone had told me years ago that I’d fall for a devil from Paradis, I’d probably punch that person in the face, but look at me now…”
A Marleyan and an Eldian? Hange had heard that story before. Hopefully, Niccolo’s would have a happier ending.
“I wanted to confess to Sasha for a while now, but the time was never right, and I kept stalling… You know, I thought there was no reason to be hasty. but then Jean told me what happened during the attack on Liberio, how I almost lost Sasha and my chance to tell her how I truly feel, so…” Niccolo looked Hange in the eyes, his gaze shining with the love he had for Sasha. “I came to say thank you. For giving me another chance.”
Oh, what a sweetheart. Hange felt her chest warm at the sight of such devotion. She always was a sucker for a young, tender love.
“And?” she leaned over the table, eyes alight with curiosity. “What did Sasha say? She returned your feelings, right?”
“Um.” Niccolo brought a hand to his neck, rubbing the back of it. “I didn’t do it, didn’t, eh, confess. Yet.”
“And when—”
“Today,” he said, confidence returning to his voice. “I planned a dinner for Sasha, invited her family and friends. Actually… I wanted to invite you as well.”
Despite regret that spread through her, Hange curled her lips in a comforting, gentle smile. “Not the best idea, but I appreciate the thought. And,” she added, her smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I’ll be expecting another visit from you, where you’ll share all the details.”
Hange wished she could see it for herself – Niccolo standing before Sasha red in the face, stuttering his undoubtedly sweet confession, Sasha gasping, with her mouth opening in shock, their audience watching it all with a mix of mortification and amusement. Hange wished she could have the privilege of being the part of that audience, alongside a certain Captain, who would cringe horribly at the scene, unfolding before their eyes.
Hange wished— for many things. Alas…
“I’m sure your plan will work out perfectly, but just in case,” Hange winked, snickering, when she saw red spread through Niccolo’s cheeks. “Good luck.”
“Knowing Sasha’s friends… I’ll need all the luck I can get. But for now, I also need to get going, the dinner won’t prepare itself. So thank you once again.” Niccolo stood up, bowing his head. “For everything.”
“Make Sasha happy, that’s all the thanks I need.”
Niccolo nodded, showing her a smile. He headed to the door, and just before he left the room, Hange gave him thumbs up, wishing him luck once more.
As the door behind him closed, she slumped back in the chair and continued munching on her breakfast, a blissful expression appearing on her face.
So… not only a great cook, but also a romantic? Sasha was such a lucky girl.
___
Her next visitors were just as unexpected, and their conversation - a lot less pleasant. It was in that moment that Hange started to suspect that this day would take its rightful place in the collection of her awful ones. But she was far from knowing just how horrible it had the potential to become.
The moment that Armin tumbled inside the room without knocking, throwing the door open in his haste, and Mikasa trailed after him, her pace much slower but just as unsure, dread settled in Hange's stomach.
"Hange-san!" Armin was speaking in a quiet, but barely controlled voice. His chest moved rapidly, as he struggled to keep his breathing slow and even. Hange swallowed her worry, her thoughts running at a lighting speed. What could possibly have happened to make him so panicked? She chanced a look at Mikasa - the young girl wore the same guarded expression she always did, but her eyes kept shifting from side to side, hands clasped together tight enough to make her knuckles white. "We need to talk."
Hange gave them a cautious nod and stood up from the bed, the book she was reading moments ago all but forgotten now. Pieck's warning was loud in her mind, as her fear grew. Marley... they couldn't have attacked so swiftly, right?
Hange gestured for her guests to take their seats at the table that stood near the window. Absentmindedly, she wondered where Moblit was. He didn't show his face to her even once this day. What could he be so busy with?
"Your guard told us that you had a visitor today," Armin stiffly began. "Mind telling us who that was?"
Hange frowned, cocking her head to the side. If the guard told Armin about the visitor, didn't she also mention that it was Niccolo? The cooking boy had to be known around the barracks, if he was that close to Sasha.
"Niccolo came by, he wanted—"
"You mean, Marleyan came by." Armin corrected.
"Sasha's and your friend, if I understood properly," Hange protested.
"But he's Marleyan. Just like you."
So, Armin was accusing her. And not only her, but Niccolo too. Accusing them of conspiring, but for what purpose? By which means? Against who? Hange was so confused. Hange didn't understand. Armin was always so rational, so coolheaded. What could possibly make him so frantic? What drove him to such desperation, to such wild guesses?
"Armin..." any other time, with any other person who trusted her just a fraction more, Hange would have taken their hand in hers. She'd caress it gently, try to calm them down, but in Armin's state... Hange worried that it'd make matters even worse. "Armin," she repeated, lowering her voice ever so slightly, making it sound more trustworthy. "What happened?"
Armin didn't answer, lowering his eyes - in shame or indecisiveness, Hange couldn't guess. And so Mikasa took the word.
"Chief Zacklay is dead," she said. And if that wasn't mind-blowing enough, she added, "Eren escaped from the prison."
"Fuck."
What else was there to say? Everything was turned on its head - Paradis' biggest defender seemingly had gone completely off the rails. Hange wondered if the threat of Marley invasion was still the scariest crisis the island would have to face. The absence of the clear answer was… unnerving.
“We don’t know what to do, or where to look for Eren. That’s why… Armin hopes that you’ll shed some light on that.”
Armin hopes – an interesting choice of words. He didn’t think, didn’t speculate, didn’t hypothesize. He hoped – exhibited a desperate, illogical kind of feeling. So… it was that bad, huh?
“I know nothing about it.” Hange said truthfully. “As you’re aware I’m not even allowed to leave this room.”
“We know.” Mikasa agreed softly, pressing her hand to Armin’s. “But it’s hard to come to terms with it.”
“He is your friend.”
Hange didn’t understand what they were going through, she never had someone that close to her destroy the trust between them, but she knew it wasn’t easy. Eren had changed, Eren had already lied to them once, but he was their friend, they’ve spent years, believing him and in him. They couldn’t change their opinion of him in just one night, they couldn’t let a few mistakes kill what they had created over the course of their lives.
She couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how her friends felt. Was it just as hard to believe in her betrayal? Did Moblit and Levi feel just as lost and unsure? Were they just as desperate to come up with a reason for her behavior? Whatever they did, whatever they felt, Hange hoped she would never have to learn about it. She was miserable enough as it was.
But Eren knew what his friends were going through, had to be aware of the consequences of his actions, of what he was doing to his friends, how much he was hurting them. What drove him to his decision then? What happened to the boy with bright eyes and big heart?
“Do you have any idea what Eren is going to do?”
“I don’t think it’s Eren’s doing, Zeke is probably lying to him, but…” his eyes were still cast down, his finger weakly tracing some vague shapes, when Armin muttered, “Hange-san… do you by any chance know what rumbling is?”
Hange froze. Her throat constricted acutely, creating a quiet, choking sound. For one second, one terrifying second her heart stopped, ceasing its usual rhythm.
Rumbling? Did she hear correctly? Was Armin speaking the truth, did he mean what Hange was worried he meant?
Rumbling.
A short, but scary word. One that was mentioned in but a few frowned upon books. One that was only whispered amongst the members of Titan Society, too horrifying to speak it loud and clear. The word that meant death, the end of everything they knew about their world.
“We were meant to experiment with it,” Armin explained, wriggling his hands. “Nothing too serious, nothing too… devastating. Just a showcase of the power we yield, to keep the other nations on their toes. To keep them away from us. But ever since Zeke had appeared, Eren became so…”
Even since Zeke had appeared, Eren had decided to act on his own, distanced himself from his comrades and friends, joined forces with his brother. Hange would have believed, would have been convinced that the boy she once knew was incapable of such cruelty…
But Liberio, the heart of her homeland was standing in ruins. And it was Eren’s doing.
She narrowed her eyes, gave a scrutinizing look first to Armin, then to Mikasa. Hange really, really hoped that she was wrong. Against all sense, she hoped that they would drive away her doubts, that Eren’s closest friends knew him much more intimately than she ever could, that their opinion of him was right and just.
“Do you think he is capable of proceeding with it?”
“No,” Armin answered.
And the same time Mikasa said, “Yes.”
Yes, said the girl, who was in love with Eren, who was devoted to him above anything or anyone else. She said yes, spoke it quietly, in pained voice. But without a shadow of a doubt.
Hange shuddered.
She— they had to stop this. Somehow. Anyhow. Before it was too late.
"Eren can't activate the rumbling on his own," Hange mused out loud, biting at her thumb.
"Right," Armin confirmed. "He needs the bearer of the royal blood."
And that was good, that meant not all hope was lost. To go through with the rumbling, Eren had to find Zeke, and Zeke was out in the woods with Levi. He would never get away from Levi, and so the world was safe, but—
Zeke wasn't the only one with special blood. There was also—
Fuck.
"Historia, where is she?"
Armin's eyes widened, a gasp escaping him as he came to the same conclusion as Hange. "She arrived in the town... This morning."
And that was the morning Eren decided to make his escape. Hardly a coincidence.
"You don't think..." Armin began tentatively, his eyes pleading Hange to say that it was a joke, that she was wrong in her assumptions. She wished she could give him that reassurance.
"I don't know."
She didn't know what Eren's plan was, what was his goal, what was Zeke’s role in all of this. She didn't know what means Eren would use to ensure his success.
Would he go to his brother, would he trust him enough? Or would he go to Historia and risk hurting his friend?
And how Eren would get to them? Both Zeke and Historia were heavily guarded - Zeke as the hostage, Historia as a Queen and a future mother. But who was the easiest target?
With Levi being in charge of Zeke, Historia was an obvious choice, unless—
Hange swallowed heavily.
Unless Zeke was planning something too - some rouse, or a play, something that would fool Levi, make him lose his focus.
Make him lose Zeke.
And if that worked—
"Where is Historia?" Hange repeated that question. Hidden in the forest, theoretically, Levi was safe. He could hold his own in a fight against Zeke, Hange has seen him do just that in Liberio, even if some part of it was a spectacle. She also had seen Zeke after Shiganshina, personally tended to his wounds that refused to heal properly because of the amount of his injuries. Back then, every hiss of his was like a melody to Hange, a miniscule payback for the carnage he had born.
Zeke was far away from Eren, guarded by Levi. Hange had to trust him with that task. She had to hold onto hope that Levi would be safe. But Historia... Historia was another matter. She was here, close, and as good as her security was, they were not on par with humanity's strongest. They had to protect the Queen first.
"Historia chose this day to arrive because of Niccolo's invitation. She's probably in his restaurant, along with the others." Mikasa said.
So she wasn't alone, surrounded by soldiers and friends. Would that be enough to hold off Eren? Possibly, although, Hange wasn't sure.
But Eren was not alone, he had followers, the ones Moblit was so worried about. Would they be just as amicable? Would they not hurt the ones Eren cared so much about?
"Historia is our main priority. We have to go to the restaurant and make sure that—"
"We?" Armin interrupted.
Hange deflated. Of course, how could she forget? She wasn't their superior, their commander, their friend. There was no we. She was an outsider. She always were.
"I didn't mean to—"
"No." Mikasa curtly said. "We need you, Hange-san. We do," she repeated to Armin, who was already opening his mouth with a protest on his tongue. "We need all the help that we can get."
Armin studied Mikasa for a moment, then turned to face Hange, regarding her pensively. The intense look of his big blue eyes was unnerving, almost impossible to hold without flinching. There was a man Hange once knew with the same intent gaze. Oh, how she wished to see him again. He'd know what to do in a shitty ordeal they were facing right now.
"You're right," Armin sighed at last. "We might not have same goals or even enemies... but our concerns align. With you on our side, our chances are much higher. So, Hange Zoe," Armin offered his hand for a handshake. "Will you help us?"
An unlikely alliance then, huh? Hange could work with that.
She shook his hand with a smile.
___
Something was turning, twisting inside Hange on the way to the restaurant. Even the air seemed stiff, the landscape outside of the carriage bright, pretty but ominous all the same. Liberio - her city - looked just as lively before it got crushed.
And today, right now, she couldn't get that image out of her mind. The streets she walked through hundreds, thousands of times; bakeries she visited day after day; parks and playgrounds she admired from afar - everything was now gone, turned into debris, into nothing but broken stone and crushed glass.
And all of it - all the destruction, pain and blood and death - all of it was a courtesy of one Eren Yeager, the boy with bright eyes and passionate soul.
Would the same thing happen to another city? To all the cities in the world? To hundreds and millions of—
Hange took a deep breath, stopping herself before she screamed in fury, ripped something apart, overturned the carriage, or worse - started crying.
No. Nothing of the sort would happen to the other countries or their people. They would stop this— this catastrophe and Eren, and Zeke, and whoever else was involved. They would not allow another tragedy.
In the meanwhile, Hange did her damnest to focus on small, trivial things - the inside of the carriage, the bumps on the road, the subtle similarities between Mikasa and Levi, the sunbeam playing across Armin's face - anything to keep her mind from other, much scarier things. It didn’t really work.
"We are here," Armin announced, cutting through her morbid thoughts. He put a hand on her elbow - a tentative, but heartfelt gesture. Hange wondered just how disturbed she must have seemed to earn it.
"Let's go," she shook off all the worries, all of her fears. They weren't needed. They would slow her down, serve as a distraction, nuisance. And today, she had to be on her best. "We have no time to spare."
Mikasa and Armin seemed to be of the same opinion, and so the three of them left the carriage and started moving towards restaurant's entrance.
The place was much bigger than Hange had imagined it to be. She expected to see something small, but snug, something homely. But Niccolo's restaurant was grander than most buildings on Paradis. It didn't quite reach the luxurious and exquisite nature of restaurants in Marley, but— clearly, that was Niccolo's inspiration.
The restaurant - as big as it was - was packed, the merry sounds of laughter were heard even from the courtyard. People were celebrating, people came here to have some fun. Hange knew just how rare those instances were. And she hated being the one to put a stop to it. But she'd rather ruin someone's day and be wrong about her assumption or ruin someone's say and be right, than— Than not ruin someone's day, be right and waste precious time.
The three of them walked through the dark brown door, and instantly Niccolo stood in front of them, appearing seemingly out of thin air.
"Armin, Mikasa! I didn't think you'd make it! And you brought Hange with you!”
The happiness on his face was so endearing, so genuine. Hange was wrecked with sympathy for him. Niccolo was just a boy, who loved a girl, and decided that today of all days he'd make his feelings known. Unfortunately, the day he had picked turned out to be one of Hange's bad ones.
"Congratulations once again," Hange made sure to put on an extra gentle smile, in vain hope that it would soothe the effect of her next words. "But that's not why we are here."
"No?" the happiness was gone from Niccolo's face, suspicion overtaking it, but only for a second. Next came anger. "I thought we were over this," he leveled, glaring at Armin. "I thought we've already discussed everything you wanted. And I'm not going to deal with this bullshit again. Not today."
Niccolo whirled around, his leg raised to, no doubt, dramatically storm out. Mikasa's gravelly voice and a tight grip on his wrist stopped him. "If you don't want to ruin this day for Sasha, then take us to Queen Historia. Right now."
Oh. Even Hange felt shivers at that tone of voice, and the threat wasn't even directed at her. Was Levi teaching her his tricks? Or was every Ackerman just naturally good at being so scary?
Niccolo yanked his hand out of Mikasa's grasp, massaging it with a wounded expression. He didn't try to argue once again, though. And soon Hange, Armin and Mikasa were following after him to the banquet hall.
He took them through the lengthy hallway, past kitchen and washing room. At the edge of it, Hange could see two familiar figures - one tall, another short. They were standing next to a wooden cupboard, snickering quietly to each other. As they came closer, Hange realized that Jean and Connie were holding several bottles of wine, clearly having trouble choosing which one to open.
"Niccolo!" Connie yelled out, waving the bottles over his head. "Which one is better?"
"That's not for you, you idiots!" Niccolo snatched the bottles from their hands, his retort vicious— and more shaken than the situation truly called for. Any other day, Hange would have found it weird, would have paid more attention to it. Any day, but not during her bad day.
So she shrugged it off and after giving Jean and Connie a painfully awkward wave, continued following after Niccolo.
Once they were inside, Hange couldn't help but marvel at the amount of people gathered. There were lots of civilians, none of which Hange could recognize. And among them, there was a sea of green, representing the members of Survey Corps. Most of these faces were known to her. One of those faces in particular swiftly left the conversation he was having, gluing himself to her side.
"Hange-san? Armin? What is going on?"
Moblit had his mouth open, his eyes shifting between the three of them. Hange didn't know what he had seen there, what face she was making, but Moblit didn't ask another question, silently falling in step with them.
Sensing the change in the room, Jean and Connie hurried to do the same.
They all stopped in front of the table in the corner - one near the window and with a nice bouquet standing on it. The table was occupied by two - giggling Sasha, who was retelling some story in a rather animated fashion, and Historia, who listened to her friend with a joyful smile.
Looking at her, Hange couldn't help but be amazed. Last time she saw the girl, she had just become a Queen, still doubtful and unsure in her position. And, although, the woman before her eyes didn't look exactly royally – what, with her simple dress and long, loose hair - but Historia had certainly grown, become tougher, more confident in her abilities. However, she was still as pretty as a picture, and the motherhood had enhanced her beauty even further.
"Your Majesty," Hange was the first to take the word, but after that she faltered, not sure how to proceed further. Should she bow? Kneel before the Queen?
She was spared from making that decision. Because right in that moment, right when she was meaning to open her mouth and explain everything to Historia as curtly as was possible— her day turned from simply bad to straight up shitty.
"You!"
Familiar voice. The anger in it wasn't unusual too. Never before it was directed at her but—
Hange recognized the pride of Marley, the future Warrior right away. It was all she was allowed to do before getting promptly tackled to the ground.
"Traitor! Liar! How could you do that to us! How could you side with the devils?"
Gabi kicked and punched anything she could reach, accentuating her every word and accusation, but the blows were barely registered by Hange. She felt no pain, only huge amount of relief.
Gabi was furious, Gabi was loud. Gabi was alive and well.
A month, a whole month she spent worrying about these kids, only to have fate throw them back together in the most ludicrous way possible.
“Gabi,” despite her kicks, despite her loud shrieks, Hange smiled happily. She pulled the girl closer, wrapping one arm around her, while her other went to softly brush the girl’s hair. “Gabi, are you alright? You’re not hurt?”
“And why would you care?” Gabi suddenly sniffled, voice muffled by Hange’s shirt. “You never cared about us, did you? Only about those devils!”
“Gabi…” Hange sighed, finding herself at a loss of words. How could she explain something so complicated? Something she couldn’t understand herself?
Luckily, an unexpected help arrived.
"Don’t judge too harshly, child. You may not understand it yet, but humans' hearts are tricky things. No rules apply to them, they never listen to reason. They don't act like we want them to. They create emotions, make our lives brighter, and at the same time... So much more confusing. And accusing someone of caring for the wrong person… it’s just not right."
Hange looked up, surprised to see a middle-aged man standing before her. She was fairly sure that she had never met him before, but his eyes, his manner of speaking... Somehow, they were familiar.
Before she could connect the dots, however, her attention was ripped away once more, this time by Niccolo's deep voice.
"Eldians, Marleyans," he scoffed. "All of us are vile, devil is in each and every one of us. We're all imperfect, but all of us yearn to find the place where we belong, where we're loved. We don't choose who these people would be, we love others for what they are, not what they represent, or what side of the conflict they come from. And if loving my enemy is treason, I’ll gladly go down as a traitor."
Niccolo glanced back, meeting the eyes of the one he had dedicated this speech to. Hange caught Sasha’s bewildered, loving look and smiled, feeling her eyes go misty.
So, Marleyan and Eldian? Was a union like that even possible? Four years ago, on the dawn of the day when she left the one she loved the most behind, she'd say that it would never work out. But... times were changing, right? For the better, or so, at least, Hange hoped.
"Hange-san..." Moblit crouched beside her, painfully awkward. "Erm..."
Oh right. Only now, Hange realized that she was still lying on the floor. And that in on itself wasn't so unusual, but most of the times... she didn't have a ten or so pairs of eyes watching her.
Hange cleared her throat. Then, as absurdity of the situation caught up with her, snickered quietly.
"Hey, Gab," she stroked the girl's side. "Would you mind letting me get up?"
Gabi rose on her elbows, considering Hange. The frown on her face didn't vanish, but— her eyes weren't so full of rage anymore - clearly, the speeches had left an impression on her.
"I'm still mad at you," she said, lip stuck out petulantly. "But... I'm glad that you're here. Because it means they're coming for us, right? Commander Magath and Reiner— Reiner will save us, right? We just need to wait for a little longer, until they arrive."
They're already here, Hange wanted to say. If Pieck came, there was no way that Reiner would want to sit that one out— or be allowed to, anyway. Marley was coming, their guns blazing. But in the room full of members of the Survey Corps and Queen herself, Hange couldn’t say that, wasn’t yet ready to betray her country like that. She could only kiss Gabi's brow and promise, "You will be alright."
Reassured, Gabi nodded and let Hange get up. As soon as her feet had touched the ground, Hange found herself with someone once again wrapped around her. This time, however, the embrace was that much warmer and a lot less violent.
"Falco," she carded her fingers through his sandy blonde hair. "I take it you've missed me too?"
"You can't imagine," he spoke, his face pressed to her stomach. "Going on missions with Gabi is a torture! I could barely keep up with her!"
"You'll learn with time," Hange looked back, exchanging a look with Moblit. "It's not that hard to deal with annoying shits like us, right, Mob?"
He tugged at his collar, strategically evading her curious eyes. "Perhaps, after a very long while..." he reached out, patting Falco's shoulder. "And with the help of a good alcohol stash."
"Oi!" Hange slapped his arm. "He's only a kid!"
Moblit shrugged. "He has to know what is waiting for him."
"Don't listen to him," she gently consoled Falco. "He's joking."
Although... Hange had to agree with Moblit on that. If Falco continues running after Gabi like that, he'd have his first grey hair by the age of fifteen.
With the boy still clinging to her, Hange surveyed the room, swiping her gaze across Sasha and Niccolo, who stood side by side, wearing identical, enamored expressions, to Connie and Jean, who were whispering something to one another, and finally to Mikasa and Armin, who hid Historia behind their backs.
Right. She didn't come here for a cheerful reunion. The fate of the world was at stake. Hange pulled herself together and— pulled Falco away from her.
"Sorry, dear," she fondly ruffled his hair once again. "I need to go now, but I'll get back to you."
Could she do, though? Could she return to these kids, ask them to be placed under her care? Should she do it, considering that she didn't even know what was going to happen to her, where would she be one hour from now? Was it wise then to drag kids along with her? They were sharp and strong, more than capable, and they did survive on their own for so long— wait.
How did they manage to survive on a foreign soil, all by themselves? And why they were here today, in Niccolo's restaurant of all places?
"I guess these ducklings are yours?"
Oh. The familiar man that Hange had never seen was back, now standing in front of Hange, showing her a kind smile.
"We haven't been introduced, but it's hard to mistake you for someone else. Hange Zoe, right?"
"Right," Hange shook his warm, calloused hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Braus."
"The accent was a dead giveaway, huh?" he laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He had a nice laugh, Hange decided, deep, heartfelt and genuine. She liked Mr. Braus, just as much as she liked his daughter.
"I understand that you're the one who had taken care of my ducklings," Hange giggled, catching Gabi's very much unamused look. "Thank you for that."
"And thank you for saving my daughter's life. For that deed I could never repay you."
"That was... that was nothing. I did nothing, just happened to be in the right place, in the right time."
"It's only because of you that we're here, celebrating, instead of mourning. So," he gripped her shoulder tightly, his brown eyes staring into hers intently. "Let me express my gratitude, for that is the smallest thing that I can do."
"I think," Connie inserted himself between them, his mischievous smile lighting up the room. "This calls for a toast!"
No more than a second later, Jean had produced a bottle of wine, opening it swiftly and skillfully. Once the bottle was dealt with, he filled a glass with wine, thrusting it to the person standing closest to him. Which— happened to be Gabi.
She took all but a tentative sniff from the glass, before it was roughly yanked out of her hands. The drink splashed everywhere as Falco hurried to finish it, before Gabi caught up and took it away from him.
There was just as a couple of droplets left, everyone watched the scene in amusement, until—
Until Niccolo screamed.
He pounced from his place, wrestling the bottle out of Jean’s hands. “It’s not for you, morons! I told you not to touch it!”
Ice spread through Hange’s veins, as she heard the desperation in his voice. If her first thought was the right one… she had to make sure of it immediately.
“Who that wine was meant for?” she seethed, grabbing Niccolo by lapels of his shirt, suffocating him in her white-knuckled grip and currently not caring about it. Everyone in the room tensed, Sasha jumping closer to them, but Hange didn’t care, ignored all of them completely. “Who that wine was meant for?” she shouted, shaking the boy like a ragdoll.
“F-for the military officials! It’s the good stuff, expensive, it was meant only for them!”
The good stuff, the best one they got, Hange reasoned. The next question was pointless, she knew the answer already, was the one who came up with this idea in the first place, but— Niccolo was a good guy, a sweet boy in love with a kind girl. Hange wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“What’s wrong with the wine?”
And that was it. That’s all she had to do to get to the bottom of it. One short, simple question, and Niccolo crumbled. He didn’t try to fight her, made no attempts to protect himself. He hanged his head in shame, avoiding the dozen pairs of eyes that now were boring into him.
“They made me do it,” he whispered, his hands, his lips— his whole body shaking. “I had no choice, you wouldn’t understand—”
Oh, but Hange did understand. Better than Niccolo knew. She knew how it felt to be forced to follow the current, accept every cruel tide. She knew just how frustrating, how painful it was to lose control.
So yeah, Hange understood. But she could not excuse.
However, she had no place to judge as well, she herself was a reason for so many tragedies and disasters. She couldn’t judge, and she didn’t have the time for it. The deed was already done, now they had to try and undo it.
“Who gave you the orders?”
The spine fluid, injected into wine, came from Zeke, that Hange had no doubt about, but Zeke was far away, deep in the forest, under Levi’s watchful eyes. So who had redistributed the wine? Who was the betrayer, the real culprit?
“It’s—”
He didn’t get to finish. For only now Hange had realized what had happened moments prior. Falco drank the wine. Falco. Drank. The. Wine.
Her heart thumping, Hange pushed Niccolo away, grabbing Falco’s hand instead. Armin, Mikasa, the Queen, let someone else deal with that shit, for now she had to try and delay the inevitable. She looked around, her eyes wild, mind racing. “Where— where is the bathroom or— or a—”
“I’ll show you.”
It was Moblit’s quiet, reassuring voice. He gripped her elbow gently, taking her away. Hange let herself be led, rubbing soothing circles into Falco’s palm all the while. She didn’t know what do, wasn’t even sure that spinal fluid can be taken out of someone’s system, but she’d be damned if she wouldn’t at least try. Falco, sweet, smart Falco, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be turned into a Titan, a mindless creature with no loyalties and feelings. Hange wouldn’t allow it, she was ready to do the impossible and then more to save the little boy.
Once they reached the bathroom, Hange set out to work - took off her coat, rolled the sleeves of her shirt, sat Falco down on a stool, pushed his head under the faucet, instructed him to try and rinse all the wine out.
It was possibly entirely pointless, Hange was pretty sure of it— but. What else could she do? Sit tightly and wait for the young life to vanish?
"That thing in the wine..." Moblit spoke up - calmly, but defeated, as though he had already surrendered to whatever tragedy that would befall him. "It's bad, isn't it?"
Hange tensed. Hange jumped to her feet, fisting her hand into Moblit's shirt so desperately, the fabric creaked in protest.
"Moblit," she croaked, her voice shaking, broken, eyes begging him to say that he was joking, that his inquiry was simple curiosity. "Moblit, did you drink that wine?"
"It was served at every government meeting. I couldn't refuse."
No. No. Hange couldn't believe, didn't want to believe it, Moblit— not Moblit, she didn't want him to fall victim to this, become another casualty in her long, extremely bloody career. Anyone else, but not— not him.
"It's the same tactic we used in Ragako village," she explained numbly. "Back then it was gas, this time the fluid that turns people into Titans was added into wine. It activates after Zeke screams."
"Ah," Moblit shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "If - when - I turn, you could experiment on me. Just— don't give me a stupid name like Sawney or Bean, I'd like, I think, I'd like to be called Moblit. If I'd still have some semblance of consciousness by that time, if not - you can call me whatever you—"
"Shut up." Hange choked, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She ignored them, glaring fiercely at him. "Shut the fuck up, Moblit, you will not turn into a Titan, I will not allow it, I'll do whatever I can—"
"Hange-san," he smiled, and it broke her heart. "It will be okay."
It won't. Because it was her damn creation, made to defeat faceless, unknown enemies. And now it was used against people she cared about.
She had to do something about it. With a start Hange realized that the solution was... fairly easy.
"Avoid Zeke at all costs." She told Moblit, urgency turning her speech more frantic. "Don't go near him, try— try to get away if he gets into city—"
But Zeke couldn't get into the city. Zeke couldn't get out of the forest at all, couldn't make a single move without Levi knowing it.
Levi was the solution. He would keep Zeke under his guard, he would keep Moblit, and the rest of them, safe. Hange finally could take a breath.
But the calm didn't last for long.
As soon as she returned to Falco's side to check on the boy's condition, a loud crash came from somewhere deep within the restaurant. Hange heard the sound of hurried footsteps, then a concerning scream.
She exchanged a look with Moblit. Both of them started running at the same moment.
When they tumbled inside the main room, they froze in shock.
Sasha's family, members of Survey Corps and among them— soldiers with rifles. Hange scanned the room once more, her eyes travelling further, to the table by the window. She breathed out in relief - Historia was guarded by Connie and Jean. At least, the Queen was safe.
But not the rest of them.
"Squad Leader Moblit," the ginger head took a step towards them, a too wide smile plastered on his face. Hange didn't like that man and his smile. And the gun in his hands. The gun that was now aimed at the ceiling but could be very well aimed at Moblit, or anyone else in that room. “You’re the one I need.”
Moblit inched closer too, his chin held high and eyes defiant. Hange didn’t miss the fact that his movement hid her behind his broad shoulders. Oh, loyal, caring Moblit. How could she leave him to his fate?
“I’m here,” he leveled to the redhead. “What do you need me for, Floch?”
If it wasn’t for the gun in his hands, or the smile on his face, the way Moblit spelled his name – the obvious aversion, unhidden contempt was enough for Hange to understand that this Floch guy wasn’t very nice. And, despite the Wings of Freedom on his back, he certainly wasn’t Moblit’s friend.
So. That was one of the famed Yeagerists? And the rest of them, the ones that held civilians on gunpoint were the part of the same group? Hange was so not impressed.
“You’re buddies with Captain Levi,” Floch continued. “That means you know exactly where he is hiding.”
“Perhaps.” Moblit nodded. “But what makes you think that I will tell you?”
Floch’s smile grew, and the gun that was held lazily in his hand, pointing at the empty air, moved. It was lowered down, its barrel now staring right at Moblit. But the gun didn’t stop there, it moved again, shifting just a little to the side. To where Hange was standing.
“Hange Zoe, right?” Floch tilted his head, so he could look straight at her. “I didn’t have the pleasure to make your acquaintance before, but I’m glad that life threw us all together. Especially now, for you see…” he lifted a hand, and a soldier took his place, his rifle raised, while Floch paced from side to side. “I’m not allowed to hurt them,” first he pointed at Jean and Connie. “Or her,” now at Historia. “I’m, however, allowed to do with the others whatever I want. And since hurting our dear Squad Leader Moblit wouldn’t bear the needed results…” he spread his arms, shrugging helplessly. “No one would miss a traitor, right?”
“Don’t you dare!” Moblit surged forward, shoulders shaking from the unbridled fury. But he made no more than a few steps, before he was immobilized, two soldiers coming from behind to grab his arms and twist them painfully. Moblit didn’t back up even then, continuing his fierce resistance. “Leave her out of this!”
“Ah, yes,” Floch chuckled to himself, observing Moblit’s struggling with morbid fascination. “The luck is surely on our side today. You will be useful after all, Hange Zoe. We will take you with us.”
No sooner than these words left his mouth, Hange felt a pair of hands around her, subduing and enabling to make a single move. She thrashed, she kicked, but to no avail.
“Floch—” Moblit grounded, pulling on his restraints.
“Don’t you worry,” Floch squeezed Moblit’s shoulder, showing him a look of feigned affection. “No one is going to get hurt, if you cooperate.”
No. They couldn’t cooperate. Cooperating meant leading Floch and his bunch to Zeke, and that meant leading them to Levi.
“Mob! Don’t listen to him! We can’t–” instinctively, momentarily forgetting about the arms that held her down, Hange reached out to him, trying to catch his eyes.
But Moblit turned his face to the other side, avoiding her gaze. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I can’t let you get hurt.”
Ah. Hange’s heart sunk, while Floch clasped his hands in delight.
“I’m glad you’ve made the right choice! And now,” he raised a finger, and Hange with Moblit were forced to move forward. “Let’s get going!”
___
Outside, the weather changed. The sun hid behind the heavy, grey clouds, the rain was now steadily falling down, creating puddles under their feet.
The gloomy weather further enhanced the trepidation inside Hange. The feeling, the certainty that something was going to get very wrong and very fast persisted, forcing her to grab the reins of the horse tighter, in vain hope of providing some miniscule outlet to her ever growing anxiety.
Despite the fear, Hange spurred her horse forward, doing her best to ignore the rifles pointed at her back. It was proving to be quite a vexing task, when the said rifles kept pushing her to move even faster but— it wasn’t the worst situation Hange had found herself in. That time when she and Zeke were captured by the enemy forces and put inside a fortified prison was so much worse. The prison had anti-Titan artillery surround the perimeter, they were alone and cut off from their allies. And still they managed to escape. Compared to that, a few Yeagerists were nothing.
Although, Hange had to admit – the stories did them no justice. In reality they were a lot more vile and disgusting.
But, apparently, Levi still trained some of them. And, boy, did he teach them well. One soldier behind Hange kept huffing, cursing the weather under his breath. Hange waited, and when he once again got distracted by the mud that splashed on his boot, she thanked Levi for his absurd obsession with cleanliness and acted, stealing that little moment for herself.
“Hey,” she leaned closer to Moblit who was riding right beside her, and whispered to him in a voice just slightly louder than the sound of the rain. “Remember that thing we did during Erwin’s coup-d'etat?”
Moblit winced, anxiety reflecting in his eyes. “When we punched people that were armed with rifles?”
Hange grinned. Atta boy, of course, he remembered. “I’ll give you a signal,” she nodded discreetly and returned to her previous position, now directing all of her attention on their fearless, redheaded leader.
“So Zeke is your main goal, right? You don’t actually need Historia?”
Floch scoffed, rising his nose up in distain. “The Queen is a back-up plan.” Wow, getting information out of them was that easy? Some devoted followers they were. Hange continued listening, eager to know what else Floch would reveal. “We’re not sure what exactly is going to happen, and Eren… doesn’t like hurting his friends.”
They weren’t sure what was going to happen. Only for these words Hange was ready to throttle each and one of them. What was going to happen? Mass destruction and death, a lot of unnecessary deaths.
But did these children care? Of course, they didn’t.
And would Zeke care about it? Hange wasn’t sure. Zeke was many things – cruel, violent, heartless, he never cared that much about other people. However, he was his father’s son, and, as much as he had loathed Grisha Yeager, Zeke still carried around the hero complex that his father fought so hard to plant inside him. Was it possible then that Zeke would be against the rumbling? Was it possible that he didn’t know of Eren’s true intention, that he blindly trusted his little brother?
Was it possible that their goals didn’t align? If so… then Zeke was a key player in this game of chess. He was a powerful figure they had to get on their side. If Hange could talk to him—
A loud sound, a crashing bang interrupted the flow of her thoughts, making her jump in the saddle.
That noise, it was similar to a thunder, but not quite. Hange knew that sound all too well, was the one who created the devise that was activated with the very same sound.
It couldn’t be— that noise couldn’t come from a thunder spear explosion. But… what other explanation was there?
“Let’s head there!” Floch commanded. “Something must have happened.”
Hange’s heart raced as they inched closer and closer to the place where the sound had come from. It wasn’t hard to find, the gory sight of the poor, wounded horse and the blasted cart was easy to spot.
They approached it slowly, and suddenly Hange froze, her eyes landing on something near the riverbank. Something that looked a lot like a body – a short one with strong stature and black hair—
“Moblit,” she whispered, begging him to clear her suspicions, to reassure her that she was mistaken.
But Moblit pursed his lips, and shook his head – brief, but resolute.
For a second, Hange froze, overcome with desperation and fear. Her heart stopped too, if just for a moment.
Levi, he couldn’t— but what if he did?
Ignoring the insistent shouts and strict orders to come back, Hange jumped off the horse, scrambling to get closer to the riverbank and to him.
She fell into the mud, uncaring of her clothes, of the mud she was splashing around. She felt nothing, the rain, the river, her captors, it all faded into background. She cared for nothing else, except the limp body in her hands.
Oh, please, please, please.
Her hands trembled as she turned the body to face her, careful as she could be. A bloody mess, her personal nightmare stared right back to her.
And in that moment— Hange felt her heart break, ripping, shuttering into thousands pieces. She thought she knew loss before, she thought she knew what pain was.
She was so wrong.
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sirikenobi12 · 4 years ago
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Dear Mr. Filoni: About Qui-Gon Jinn
Mr. Filoni, I know you are pretty much the undisputed Padawan of George Lucas, but like many students they can sometimes misunderstand their teachings or interpret things from a certain point of view. While I won’t deny you are a brilliant creator who have brought us some amazing Star Wars content you said something a little while back about Qui-Gon Jinn that I think is rather nearsighted and in my opinion incorrect.
“And with the death of Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin loses the father figure who truly could have understood him – and maybe prevented what was to come.”
This implies several things, the first is that Anakin never had a father figure in his life. Or, rather that he lost the father figure he truly needed. In many ways this is implying that if someone grows up without a father (or a traditional father figure) then they are missing out or won’t have a stable childhood. What about all the people who are raised by single mothers or grandparents or aunts/uncles or by their older siblings? 
Pixar’s Onward is a great example of finding a father figure through an older brother, it highlights that just because Ian never had a chance to meet his father didn’t mean that he lost out on a father figure in his brother Barley. 
“I never had a dad, but I always had you.”
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Saying that Anakin lost the father figure who truly could have understood him also just spits in the face of a young man who also lost his father figure in that moment and gave up everything to raise Anakin. 
Let’s unpack that a little bit. Imagine if you will you’re twenty-five years old, you’ve worked your ENTIRE life for a particular goal which is to be a Jedi Knight, traveling the galaxy doing the most good that you can while discovering who you are on your own. Then maybe down the road when you are ready to settle down and possibly train/raise an apprentice you’ll take one on. Suddenly the only father you’ve ever known pushes you aside for a child he’s just met (without even discussing it with you first) and then uses his last words to push this child on you, making him your responsibility, thus shattering your chance at the freedom of a true Knighthood. 
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By all rights Obi-Wan could’ve given Anakin’s training over to the Council, the boy was in no way his responsibility. Much like an adult sibling doesn’t have to take on the responsibility of raising their minor siblings if their parents die, they could give the children over to the state and have a chance at a normal young adulthood instead of being thrust into being a parent before they are ready. But, Obi-Wan didn’t do that because he A.) Respected/loved Qui-Gon too much not to fulfill his final wishes, and B.) Knew it would be better for Anakin to take the boy under his wing. 
I will say this until I am blue in the face: OBI-WAN WAS A FATHER TO ANAKIN!! 
In fact, in Episode 2 Anakin refers to him as a father/father figure multiple times and it is clear their relationship while Anakin was a Padawan was that of a Father/Son. It isn’t until Anakin is knighted and they are peers that you see their relationship shift to that of brothers.  
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Am I saying that Obi-Wan didn’t make mistakes when raising Anakin? Absolutely not, but would I argue that Anakin was missing out on a father figure because Qui-Gon died? No, I would not. 
The second part of that quote claims that Qui-Gon Jinn could’ve been someone who understood Anakin and might’ve been able to prevent what was to come. I 100% believe that would not have happened, while I think Qui-Gon Jinn is a very interesting character there is no indication in either canon or legends that he would’ve been a good influence on Anakin. In fact, quite the opposite. Here are the top ten reasons Qui-Gon would’ve been a terrible father influence for Anakin: 
1. Qui-Gon Jinn thinks the rules don’t apply to him: While many fans applaud Qui-Gon (including apparently you, Mr. Filoni) for going against the Jedi Council and being a “Maverick” I would argue that more often than not it was to his or his mission’s detriment. This is not to advocate that the Council was 100% correct or that Jedi shouldn’t question things, but there is a difference between questioning authority figures and flat out being obstinate. This is something Anakin excels at even with being raised by the rule abiding Kenobi, imagine how bad it would’ve been had Jinn raised him.
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2. Qui-Gon Jinn was selfish: There are several examples of Qui-Gon using the guise of “the will of the Force” in order to get his way. Are we honestly supposed to believe that somehow this one man was more in tune with the Force than any other Jedi (including 12 powerful Jedi who were on the Council)?? And, if he truly believed in following the will of the Force then why did he constantly bend the rules to make sure the “Force” went his way - an example of this is had he actually believed it was the will of the Force that he free Anakin, he wouldn’t have had to make the chance cube go the way he wanted it to go. He flat out cheated so he could get his way.  
3. Qui-Gon was dangerously reckless: Many Jedi are reckless, even Obi-Wan said to Yoda in ESB “so was I if you’ll remember”. But Qui-Gon was reckless in ways that was pretty astounding. For example, EVERYONE told him that his plan to get off of Tatooine was dangerous and frankly stupid. Couldn’t they have just sold the Naboo ship and then purchased a clunker that would get them to Coruscant? Honestly, that would’ve probably hidden them better from the Trade Federation in the long run...but no, he instead decided the best course of action was to put a slave child in mortal danger, thus also placing all of their lives in the hands of a boy who had NEVER won a race before. Now, it ended up working in his favor, but even still those few days spent fixing up Anakin’s pod and then the race itself delayed the Queen from getting to Coruscant which meant more people died on Naboo all because Qui-Gon refused to see any other solutions. 
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4. Qui-Gon was often a bully: our Maverick had no problems throwing his weight around to get what he wanted. The Council meeting with Anakin is a perfect example, he didn’t get the answer he wanted. So he put his hands on his hips and refused to leave the room until the Council caved to his demands. Another example of this is in Claudia Grey’s Master & Apprentice where he refuses to do his duty as a Jedi and fulfill the mission simply because he had a vision. He doesn’t discuss this with the Council or with Obi-Wan beforehand, he just decides for himself this is how it’s going to be and then throws a hissy-fit when he doesn't get his way. Or how about he is the one who cheated to get his way in winning Anakin and when Watto calls him out he threatens to get the Hutts involved? He just bullies his way to getting what he wanted.
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  5. Qui-Gon never saw the bigger picture: Master Jinn’s whole thing is to focus on the here and the now, and while that’s great advice (especially for Obi-Wan who often looks too far a head) it also means that Qui-Gon often misses the big picture. An example of this is in the book Master & Apprentice where he wants to free the slaves on Pijal’s moon, but Yoda has to remind him that there is a bigger picture and they can only act if it’s in their mandate. He says this not because the Council doesn’t want to free slaves, but because there are incredibly complex consequences and if they were to just do whatever they wanted/could do as Jedi it would cause all kinds of issues for others and while he could maybe free a handful of slaves now it would cause countless others to suffer in the long run. But, Qui-Gon wouldn’t accept this, because he refused to see the bigger picture - he refused to look at anything except what was right in front of him.
6. Qui-Gon has a history of failing his Apprentices: Now, I know this isn’t Canon at the moment, but by the time we make it to TPM Qui-Gon has already done severe damage to 2 former Padawans, and is in danger of having history repeat itself. Xanatos was his second Apprentice right before Obi-Wan, and this Padawan was extremely powerful and Qui-Gon insisted he be trained, but the boy fell to the darkside because he had been too old to start training and had a healthy attachment to his family (sound familiar?). Qui-Gon was so devastated by his fall that he went back and reputed his first apprentice, Feemor, claiming he was such a failure of a Master that there is no way his first apprentice should’ve been knighted. He basically in his grief pushed aside an apprentice who while on paper wasn’t anything special, but was kind and dutiful and a true Jedi (sound familiar?). He then begrudgingly takes on Obi-Wan (only after 12 year old Obi-Wan offers to kill himself to save others) and then time and time again tries to basically pawn off Obi-Wan onto someone else (even as far into their relationship as the Master & Apprentice book). Then, when it finally looks like the Kenobi/Jinn team have figured out how to work well together Qui-Gon has to literally be reminded that his Obi-Wan even exists because Qui-Gon is so blinded by Anakin’s power!! How in any way does this seem like a better father figure option for the emotionally needy Anakin?
7. Qui-Gon Jinn has a history of Attachments: The specific example I have is again from Legends, but it shows how Qui-Gon allowed attachments to become dangerous. He had a childhood friend who he fell in love with, they decided that they could handle being committed to each other as well as the Order so they “pledged themselves” to one another (my guess is basically this is like a Jedi marriage so to speak). Sounds beautiful right, and it is, but...But his love interest Tahl was injured on a war torn planet where the children are so sick of their parents' civil war that they form a third army and go to war against the adults. Tahl is caught in the middle of this and is gravely injured. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are sent to rescue her, and Obi-Wan is sickened by the sight of children fighting and wants to stay and help, but Qui-Gon is so blinded by his attachment for Tahl that he for the first time EVER actually follows his mandate and tells Obi-Wan that they weren’t sent there to help the children, but to rescue Tahl. Obi-Wan who is only 13 doesn’t understand so instead of taking the time to really explain it, Qui-Gon just LEAVES his young apprentice behind on a war torn planet. Now, I’ll admit that Qui-Gon did give Obi-Wan a choice, to come back to Coruscant or to stay and fight, thus leaving the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan did make the choice to stay. But, it was Qui-Gon’s responsibility as the teacher to fully explain the situation to Obi-Wan and let him know that they could do more good if they were to go back to the Council and the Senate and try to return with supplies and reinforcements. But no, Qui-Gon just yelled at him, disregarded his feelings and told him their mission was to rescue Tahl. He didn’t bother using this as a teaching moment for Obi-Wan because he was so concerned about his attachment. And then later when Tahl actually died, Qui-Gon nearly fell to the dark side and it was Obi-Wan who saved him.  And then Qui-Gon went on to decide that because of the pain that had been inflicted by losing Tahl he’d basically give Obi-Wan an ultimatum when it came to the woman he loved (and basically downplayed it as nothing but a crush). Now, say what you want about how Obi-Wan handled Anakin/Padme’s relationship - maybe pretending it wasn’t happening instead of confronting Anakin about it wasn’t a healthy/smart choice, but at least he didn’t downplay it and make it look like Anakin’s feelings weren’t real or valid.
8. Qui-Gon refused to apologize: There are several examples where Qui-Gon refuses to accept any responsibilities and won’t apologize. One such point is in TPM where he basically traded his current Padawan in for a newer/shinier model in front of the entire Council (which if this alone isn’t enough cause to prove the man wasn’t the best father figure…) he then refused to even approach Obi-Wan about it, in fact the twenty five year old Apprentice who had just been tossed aside for a supposed prophecy came and apologized to Qui-Gon!! Another example is back in the Jedi Apprentice books where Qui-Gon leaves Obi-Wan on the war torn planet (as mentioned in #7) it is up to Obi-Wan to make it up to Qui-Gon and prove his worth once again. I’m not certain given Anakin’s tendency to need constant affirmations that this would’ve been a good combination.
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9. Qui-Gon was manipulative: Oftentimes we see Qui-Gon manipulating people to get his way (I’m not talking about Jedi Mind Tricks). In TPM he manipulates Watto to win Anakin’s freedom, he even manipulates Obi-Wan into taking on the burden of training Anakin by making it his dying wish. He is not above manipulation if he gets his desired result. We see Anakin does the same thing, so one could argue Qui-Gon would’ve only encouraged this behavior.
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10. Qui-Gon cared more about the prophecy than the boy: I’m not saying that Qui-Gon didn’t care about people, or even Anakin, in fact he was a very compassionate character. But, all of his arguments to have Anakin be trained was that he is “the Chosen One” not once does he talk about how the boy needs training simply because it’d be dangerous to leave such raw power alone in the galaxy without training, or that it would be the right thing to do. He doesn’t ever talk about how learning to be a Jedi would actually benefit the boy. Every single time he brings up Anakin needing training is because of the prophecy. Now, as far as it looks in both canon and legends Obi-Wan tried incredibly hard to not bring up the prophecy to Anakin (except on Mustafar), Obi-Wan would bring it up to Mace/Yoda but that was about it. Obi-Wan wasn’t blinded by the prophecy because until ROTS it didn’t really appear that he even believed in it - he believed in Anakin for who he was as a person. Something we just didn’t see with Qui-Gon.
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Now, Qui-Gon has a lot of great qualities, I am not denying that, but to say that he would’ve been the father figure Anakin needed is just misguided. If you believe in the idea that there is a will of the Force one could argue that Obi-Wan training Anakin was that will, otherwise Qui-Gon wouldn’t have died. 
Also, Mr. Filoni, why is it that Anakin supposedly suffered because he didn’t have a father figure yet you turned around and gave Ahsoka a brother, not a father? Are you suggesting Ahsoka suffered as well because she didn’t have a father figure? Or, was Obi-Wan by this time finally “old” enough to be considered a father figure? 
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This idea that Qui-Gon Jinn would’ve been the fix it to Anakin’s issues is just silly and once again places the blame of the Jedi’s destruction in the hands of the Council and specifically Obi-Wan, thus not forcing Anakin to be held responsible for any of his actions. 
I’m sorry, but it’s not a theory I buy due to a lack of evidence. 
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wnnbdarklord · 4 years ago
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Hi, I noticed you said that you didn’t like Ragnarok for various reasons, and I thought you had some really interesting takes. I was wondering if you could explain, like, why you don’t like it and what it did to Loki’s characterization :D
oooh boy. Well, in the interests of not making this an essay and repeating many other metas, some of which I’ll link at the end, the bulletpoints:
- the movie made fun of the previous movies, which I actually really liked. this is most evident in the play scene in ragnarok, making fun of Loki’s very moving death scene and making him out to be a self aggrandizing buffoon
-   the movie completely erased any progress Thor’d made into becoming a better man and even regressed him, cause now’s completely convinced he’s a hero and anything he does is the right thing. the movie loves to validate him about this. I went from liking Thor to hating his guts.
- it makes out that Loki was a terrible king just sitting on his ass and eating grapes all day. it completely glosses over any identity issues he would have pretending to be his dad all the time, not to mention resolves all his trauma about being jotun off screen and really lazily. also makes fun of his suicide attempt later on Sakaar
- Hela being their secret sister is just boring and makes no sense, but the real thing that offended me about her was that it seemed like the movie was trying to take everything about Loki and give it to her, only more lazily and worse. for instance, the reason Loki isn’t in his signature green and black for most of the movie is cause “there’d be too much green otherwise”. which completely ignores the fact that if there’s too many characters in green around, the logical step is then to change the colors of the newly introduced character
- the colonialism “commentary” the movie spends 2 mins on is lazy, incomplete and unlike what other people would have you believe, not new in the slightest. I made this gifset commenting on it in 2014 . also, for all that it criticized Odin for building his kingdom on blood and war, it then turned right around and made him the spiritual guide to Thor at the end, with Thor very blatantly comparing himself to Odin and finding himself wanting. mixed messaging much? not to mention that in doing the lackluster commentary, it completely sidestepped the issue of Loki’s allegory of internalized racism and the whole “stealing a baby from that realm you conquered, trying to make it exactly like you and then discarding it when it turns out to be its own person”
- the movie did not meet an emotional scene it did not immediately undercut with a joke. most glaringly, Asgard’s destruction
- completely stripping Loki of any competence and prowess and making fun of him at every turn. the original set up of that meeting with Strange had him locking Loki up in a porta potty where people could pee on him
- making Loki out to be nothing but a backstabbing trickster, whose problems with his family were all in his head and would all be sorted out if he just realized that they loved him. this is the driving force of my hatred of the movie, encapsulated by the elevator and electrocution scene. it completely invalidates Loki’s rather very valid issues. until the events of Thor when he finds out his heritage, Loki has been shown to be a loyal and caring person who was utterly devastated by the revelation. he wasn’t some shithead who kept stabbing his brother for fun. he cried when he stabbed Thor in the Avengers with a 2 inch knife when they were blatantly at odds - this isn’t someone who betrays people for funsies
- about the only character the movie is any good to is Heimdall. I’m not putting this here as a dig at Heimdall, but as a condemnation of the treatment of every other character
- it strips the Thor franchise of every other introduced character, writing off Jane, Darcy and Selvig with one mention and unceremoniously killing off the rest of Thor’s friends
- Hela is also a terrible villain, who just goes around monologuing exposition at Skurge
- Skurge is the only character in the movie with a narrative arc and he barely has a dozen lines
- Bruce and the Hulk are completely OOC
- there’s definitely more, but I’ve lost steam. so here are some links to previous meta myself and others have written. I’m sure you’ll find even more if you go through the ragnarok negativity, ragnarok criticism and anti ragnarok tags on tumblr
Meta 1 Meta 2 Meta 3 Meta 4 Meta 5
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munsonboy · 4 years ago
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Oooo idea time guys and gals,
Giant boy Loki babysitting a tiny child :0
Requested by @just-more-gt-trash !! I’m sorry it took me a while to write this for you! I ended up writing the whole story today just so you didn’t have to wait any longer lol😊
Hope you like it!
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~Teasing Brings Tears~
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“Goodness, how did I get myself into this mess?”, said Loki aloud to himself as you clung to his finger. Loki had decided to introduce you to a couple of movies he had found in his closet because he thought that you’d enjoy them. You’ve always shown an immense amount of curiosity for someone who’s only 8 years old and Loki loved that about you. In a way, you reminded him of his younger self. Always curious, but very reserved and shy. He figured the movies would perk your interest and get you to come out of your shell.
Most importantly, he hoped that it would get you to relax more around him. You always stuttered whenever you were with Loki and he hoped to one day stop that from happening. It wasn’t because you were afraid of him. It was just because of how big he was.
Loki didn’t realize that the movies he found were all horror films. So, at the expense of his carelessness for not checking the content of the films, he was forced to let you cling onto his finger. He didn’t have the heart to tear you off of him, so he dealt with the slow loss of circulation.
“Child, can you let go of Uncle Loki?”, he said. You immediately shook your head no, shoving your face into the huge digit you had your arms wrapped around.
“I am not going anywhere, small one. I promised your mother that I would watch over you for the night and I am going to do just that”, said Loki. He had promised your mother that he’d babysit you for the night so that she can spend a few hours relaxing. He has been friends with your mother now for a few years. She lived her whole life in the Avengers Tower in secret, but once Loki moved in, he discovered her within 4 days.
Her friendship with Loki blossomed, but her relationship she had with the man she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with came to an end once he found out that he was going to be a father. Your mother was devastated. It was hard enough getting certain supplies. She never would have been able to do it all on her own if she hadn’t met Loki.
Loki was furious when he found out what happened, but soon became ecstatic when your mother told him about her pregnancy. He was over the moon! Your mother had never seen Loki so thrilled before. He vowed that he’d protect your mother and, without question, you once you were born.
The same question would be thrown at her day in and day out, “Can the little one call me ‘Uncle Loki’ once they’re brought into this world?” Your mother would always laugh and agree to let him have the title of being your uncle.
He loved playing with you. Casting illusion of different animals seemed to be your favorite thing when you were around 3 years old. Loki didn’t mind your requests. He loved seeing you play with whatever animal you wished him to make. Your mother watched from the side lines. The tight knit friendship you and Loki had was all she could have hoped for.
Anyways, Loki was sitting in his bed with blankets and pillows all around him. You sat cupped in his hands, hugging his thumb close to your body. It was the only thing keeping the tears in your eyes from escaping. You didn’t want Loki to think you were a baby.
“My dear, if you let go, I will cast illusions of your favorite animals”, said Loki. He was going to bribe you in anyway he can. Loki didn’t want to see you scared anymore, especially in his presence.
You surprisingly ignored his offer. You thought that he was just going to leave you be, but after a few seconds passed, there was suddenly a weight on your waist that was pulling you away from Loki’s thumb. You held on with all the strength you could muster up, but it just wasn’t enough. Your hands lost their hold on the thumb and you were soon being lifted up to meet the gaze of two green orbs, Loki’s eyes.
“I win”, said Loki with a smirk on his face. If anything, Loki lived up to being your uncle pretty well. Mainly due to the fact that he loved to tease you.
You didn’t say a word to him. “Oh come now, you honestly don’t think that the monster in the film is real, do you?” He paused for a brief moment so you could think that over. “Well, actually now that I mentioned it, I’m fairly sure those types of beasts live in New York-...” He felt you grip on tighter to his finger that was pinching your waist. Loki smiled mischievously.
He decided to keep on poking you with his remarks. “I have actually seen pictures of those creatures in a book back on Asgard. I do recall one of the chapters stated that they feast on children-...mortal children to be exact.”
Loki expected you to laugh, even spare him a little smile, as he joked with you. He obviously wasn’t being serious. Those monsters in the film were a complete disgrace to the ones that could be found throughout the nine realms. However, none of them ate mortal children as Loki had told you. So in the end, you honestly had nothing to be afraid of.
All he got in return were tears covering your cheeks. You started whimpering; your body visibly shaking. It was hard to keep it together when Loki told you that there really are monsters out there. You just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
Through your whimpers, which were getting louder, you heard Loki gasp in front of you. As quickly as you started crying, you were gently pressed against a soft, but firm, warm surface. Your eyes shot open and saw that Loki had pressed you close to his cheek, giving you a makeshift hug.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Loki’s other hand approaching. His pointer finger extended outwards and you watched as the tip of it rested on your head and tenderly moved back and forth, stroking your soft hair.
You let it all out at this point. More tears streamed down your cheeks. You stretched out your arms as far as they could and hugged Loki back. The comfort that you were getting from Loki helped a lot.
Loki did his best to calm your nerves. He wasn’t exactly a pro when it came to empathizing with others, but when you, and even your mother, were the ones who needed a shoulder to cry on, Loki would do whatever it takes to get your mind out of its miserable state.
He slowly started to pull you away from his face. A dagger of guilt punctured his chest when he felt you try and grasp onto the skin of his cheek.
You didn’t want the hug to end yet. Facing Loki with the amount of tears that had just left your eyes wasn’t exactly how you wanted Loki to see you. You wanted to be brave for him, but right now it was hard.
Loki held you in front of his face again, gently using the pad of his finger to wipe away your tears. You sniffled as he did this, which made Loki think you were going to start balling again.
“Shh, shh, it’s alright Y/n. I was just joking, my little dove. There are no such creatures like the ones in the movie that even exist”, said Loki.
“B-But you said-...”
“Shh, shh. Forget what I said. What I said were lies. I was just teasing you.”
He pulled his finger away from your face, allowing you to wipe away the excess tears.
Silence filled the space between you and Loki. You had your hands laying in your lap as you sat cupped in Loki’s massive ones.
Loki noticed that he couldn’t feel your tiny form shaking in his hands anymore, so he asked, “Are you alright now, darling?”
You let out a shaky breath. “Y-Yes.”
Loki smiled to himself. “Oh thank the norns”, he said in a funny tone.
You giggled. Loki always knew how to make you laugh. His sarcasm was your number one favorite thing to belly laugh to. You couldn’t even think about the times Loki and your mother had thrown sarcastic replies at each other. You laughed for more than an hour that day.
“How about I choose a movie that isn’t scary? Would you like that, my dear?”, Loki asked as he lowered you down to his chest. You nodded your head yes.
“Alright. Let’s get you comfy then, shall we?” Loki tilted his hand and watched in amusement as you slid down his long fingers. You landed on his chest and almost immediately covered yourself with Loki’s shirt.
He laughed at this. “Y/n, I found the most soft blankets in the tower and yet you cover up with my shirt?”, asked Loki.
“I-It just makes me feel closer t-to you. I feel safe and protected”, you simply stated. You couldn’t see it from your position, but tears had sprung into Loki’s eyes. For Loki to know that you, the smallest being he had ever conversed with, felt safe with him, was the one thing he was most proud of. Many beings that were his size feared him, yet here you were.
“That means more to me than you know, little Y/n. Thank you”, said Loki. You smiled up at the giant god and curled up in a ball. The warmth that radiated off of Loki was much better than any blanket that you covered up with.
“O-Oh! Loki?”, you shyly said. He looked away from the television across the room and down at you with a questioning look.
“Can you c-cup your hand over me?”, you asked.
“Of course I can, sweetheart”, he said. Loki gently rested his hand over you. His hand was so big, he could cover your entire body and no one would be able to tell if there was a little borrower underneath it. He loved how tiny you were.
You could hear the movie that Loki decided to play begin, but sleep decided to take over instead.
Loki smiled from above you. “Good night, my little, brave Y/n. Your Uncle Loki will be here when you wake up. Sleep well.”
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traeumenvonbuechern · 3 years ago
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June Wrap-Up
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1. Can't Take That Away (Steven Salvatore)
Carey Parker dreams of being a diva, and bringing the house down with song. But despite their talent, emotional scars from an incident with a homophobic classmate and their grandmother's spiraling dementia make it harder and harder for Carey to find their voice. Then Carey meets Cris, a singer/guitarist who makes Carey feel seen for the first time in their life. With the rush of a promising new romantic relationship, Carey finds the confidence to audition for the role of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, in the school musical, setting off a chain reaction of prejudice by Carey's tormentor and others in the school. It's up to Carey, Cris, and their friends to defend their rights--and they refuse to be silenced.
2. Sanditon (Jane Austen)
Written in the last months of Austen's life, Sanditon features a glorious cast of hypochondriacs and speculators in a newly established seaside resort, and shows the author contemplating a changing society with scepticism and amusement. It tells the story of Charlotte Heywood, who is transported by a chance accident from her rural hometown to Sanditon, where she is exposed to the intrigues and dalliances of a small town determined to reinvent itself - and encounters the intriguingly handsome Sidney Parker.
3. The Witch King (H.E. Edgmon)
Wyatt would give anything to forget where he came from—but a kingdom demands its king. In Asalin, fae rule and witches like Wyatt Croft…don’t. Wyatt’s betrothal to his best friend, fae prince Emyr North, was supposed to change that. But when Wyatt lost control of his magic one devastating night, he fled to the human world. Now a coldly distant Emyr has hunted him down. Despite transgender Wyatt’s newfound identity and troubling past, Emyr has no intention of dissolving their engagement. In fact, he claims they must marry now or risk losing the throne. Jaded, Wyatt strikes a deal with the enemy, hoping to escape Asalin forever. But as he gets to know Emyr, Wyatt realizes the boy he once loved may still exist. And as the witches face worsening conditions, he must decide once and for all what’s more important—his people or his freedom.
4. One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston)
For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train. Jane. Dazzling, charming, mysterious, impossible Jane. Jane with her rough edges and swoopy hair and soft smile, showing up in a leather jacket to save August’s day when she needed it most. August’s subway crush becomes the best part of her day, but pretty soon, she discovers there’s one big problem: Jane doesn’t just look like an old school punk rocker. She’s literally displaced in time from the 1970s, and August is going to have to use everything she tried to leave in her own past to help her. Maybe it’s time to start believing in some things, after all.
5. Between Perfect and Real (Ray Stoeve)
Dean Foster knows he’s a trans guy. He’s watched enough YouTube videos and done enough questioning to be sure. But everyone at his high school thinks he’s a lesbian—including his girlfriend Zoe, and his theater director, who just cast him as a “nontraditional” Romeo. He wonders if maybe it would be easier to wait until college to come out. But as he plays Romeo every day in rehearsals, Dean realizes he wants everyone to see him as he really is now––not just on the stage, but everywhere in his life. Dean knows what he needs to do. Can playing a role help Dean be his true self?
6. The Cruel Prince (Holly Black)
Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.
7. Boy Queen (George Lester)
Robin Cooper’s life is falling apart. While his friends prepare to head off to university, Robin is looking at a pile of rejection letters from drama schools up and down the country, and facing a future without the people he loves the most. Everything seems like it’s ending, and Robin is scrabbling to find his feet. Unsure about what to do next and whether he has the talent to follow his dreams, he and his best friends go and drown their sorrows at a local drag show, where Robin realises there might be a different, more sequinned path for him . . . With a mother who won't stop talking, a boyfriend who won't acknowledge him and a best friend who is dying to cover him in glitter make up, there's only one thing for Robin to do: bring it to the runway.
8. Felix Ever After (Kacen Callender)
Felix Love has never been in love—and, yes, he’s painfully aware of the irony. He desperately wants to know what it’s like and why it seems so easy for everyone but him to find someone. What’s worse is that, even though he is proud of his identity, Felix also secretly fears that he’s one marginalization too many—Black, queer, and transgender—to ever get his own happily-ever-after. When an anonymous student begins sending him transphobic messages—after publicly posting Felix’s deadname alongside images of him before he transitioned—Felix comes up with a plan for revenge. What he didn’t count on: his catfish scenario landing him in a quasi–love triangle.... But as he navigates his complicated feelings, Felix begins a journey of questioning and self-discovery that helps redefine his most important relationship: how he feels about himself.
9. Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)
Lockwood, the new tenant of Thrushcross Grange on the bleak Yorkshire moors, is forced to seek shelter one night at Wuthering Heights, the home of his landlord. There he discovers the history of the tempestuous events that took place years before: of the intense passion between the foundling Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw, and her betrayal of him. As Heathcliff's bitterness and vengeance is visited upon the next generation, their innocent heirs must struggle to escape the legacy of the past.
10. Ace of Spades (Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé)
Welcome to Niveus Private Academy, where money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because anonymous texter, Aces, is bringing two students' dark secrets to light. Talented musician Devon buries himself in rehearsals, but he can't escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Head girl Chiamaka isn't afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they're planning much more than a high-school game...
11. The Queer Principles of Kit Webb (Cat Sebastian)
Kit Webb has left his stand-and-deliver days behind him. But dreary days at his coffee shop have begun to make him pine for the heady rush of thievery. When a handsome yet arrogant aristocrat storms into his shop, Kit quickly realizes he may be unable to deny whatever this highborn man desires. In order to save himself and a beloved friend, Percy, Lord Holland must go against every gentlemanly behavior he holds dear to gain what he needs most: a book that once belonged to his mother, a book his father never lets out of his sight and could be Percy’s savior. More comfortable in silk-filled ballrooms than coffee shops frequented by criminals, his attempts to hire the roughly hewn highwayman, formerly known as Gladhand Jack, proves equal parts frustrating and electrifying. Kit refuses to participate in the robbery but agrees to teach Percy how to do the deed. Percy knows he has little choice but to submit and as the lessons in thievery begin, he discovers thievery isn’t the only crime he’s desperate to commit with Kit. But when their careful plan goes dangerously wrong and shocking revelations threaten to tear them apart, can these stolen hearts withstand the impediments in their path?
12. Weekend Girl (Alex Powell)
Ashley Kingston is a genderfluid university student with a major crush on attractive and charming Nolan. He seems just too perfect to be true. What happens when Ash meets Nolan while dressed as both a man, and a woman? And even more confusing, what happens when Nolan seems enamoured of both versions of Ash? A twisty-turny romance filled with fun and shenanigans.
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voicedaily · 3 years ago
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VOICE4 Interview with The Writer, Ma Jiwon
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-The impression of successfully ending up to season 4?
I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank the viewers who watched Season 4 of 'Voice'. This season seems to be the season where I thought the most about 'how can I make a more developed and meaningful drama?' In addition, after a long deliberation, the ending decided to connect Kwon-joo Kang, Derek Jo and Dong Bangmin from season 4 with the characters Bang Jesoo and Gardness Lee from season 2-3. It was the ending to expand the voice universe until season 5, and I was worried about the reaction inside, but I felt really relieved and grateful that the viewers seemed to have responded. Since the season system is planned over a long period of time, I think that meaningful results can be achieved when all the production crews have a long breathing and run with one mind. In particular, this season 4 is even more precious and grateful because, despite the difficult situation of the COVID-19 pandemic, all the production crew 'considered and communicated' and finished happily until the end.
-What message did you want to convey through Season 4?
Season 4 of 'Voice' took the theme from the crime rate data on the increase in abuse and violence within the family amid the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. In fact, after season 3, family crimes (violence between families, child abuse, etc.) are the most frequent and quiet crimes around us. In particular, I wrote this with a sincere hope that it will be an opportunity to think about the reality of child abuse that occurs frequently recently, but does not get better easily, and to realize that the person we need to listen to the most is our family.
Also, since family crime is a sensitive issue, I thought a lot with the director on how to deliver it to the viewers without discomfort. In the end, I worked on the script with the belief that "if we make it with sincerity, viewers will recognize it," and I think it was realized well thanks to the director's humanistic directing and the actors' passionate performances. In particular, after the ending of episode 14, there were many viewers who recognized the feelings of the production team, so I was really grateful. Thanks to the viewers who listen to what 'Voice' wants to say, I think 'Voice' can continue the season system.
-What did you expect from Song Seung-heon following Jang Hyuk and Lee Jin-wook?
If actor Jang Hyuk and actor Jin-wook Lee were 'symbols of a ruthless macho detective with pain', actor Song Seung-heon has a soft and gentle image, so he is an actor who suggested casting because it fits perfectly with the character of Derek Cho, who does not lose his dignity and pride as a human being and a police officer under any circumstances. In fact, in a meeting before filming, I told actor Song Seung-heon that it could be a tricky character that needs to be attractive while avoiding all the strengths of the male lead character from seasons 1, 2, and 3. In addition, the former child abuse victim who was adopted by the US police is not an easy one.
Nevertheless, actor Song Seung-heon willingly took on the challenge and is sincerely grateful for playing the best detective Derek Joe. In fact, Derek Joe is not a detective who runs blindly in front of the scene, but a person who knows how to comfort people even in the midst of an incident. The action was also expected, but it did so much better than expected. Under the judgment of the martial arts director that Derek Jo, an adopted child born with pain in Korea, would have played a lot of popular sports in the United States, professional wrestling, judo, and Kravma were crafted to subdue opponents in an instant with techniques. do. In particular, I heard that he impressed the scene with his passionate acting that digested a number of actions without a stand-by, such as climbing up the railing on the second floor of the dog kennel without a wire prepared in advance at the time of filming, or collided with a car. I wanted to show that the consideration, sacrifice, and leadership of Derek Cho, played by Song Seung-heon, are the charms of this season's male protagonist.
In addition, child abuse is a crime that is serious enough to say that it leaves a trauma that is difficult to heal, and it is a crime that our society must work together to eradicate. What I ultimately wanted to draw through Derek Cho was a good will to overcome the wounds of the past without being engulfed in the wounds of the past, unlike the people of the East, who became trapped in their own wounds. (The setting to become a principled police officer instead of direct revenge on the adoptive father was also the intention)
-Lee Hana, who is active in the 4th season, must have many things to praise.
Hana below is very clear and warm. Because it contains all the tendencies that a voice profiler should have, there would probably be no 'voice' without Lee Ha-na. Throughout season 4, he is an actor who not only perfectly digests the difficult acting of investigating super-strong cases, giving orders and emotionally comforting without a partner in the center, but also takes good care of the field staff. He shows his affection for the script to the extent that he thinks he is himself the script for 'Voice', and as a writer, I feel grateful and proud. Especially this season, I know that it must have been a lot of mental burden in the beginning because I had to play a villain who is a multi-personality. I was worried when I entrusted the role of a cruel villain to the main character, who has been a just police officer for three seasons.
However, I had a belief that if we were Hana or an actor, we would create a completely different character without compromising the goodness of the main character. When I finally saw the actual video, I was surprised by how well it was digested beyond my expectations. When I saw the reaction of the viewers who welcomed the villain acting of actress Lee Ha-na as 'Dark Kwon-ju', I was amazed that people's eyes are similar. While acting both good and bad roles at the same time, there must have been a lot of hardship, but I want to give a big applause to actress Lee Ha-na, who steadfastly led the 'Voice' without any expression. I would like to take this opportunity to bow my head and express my heartfelt gratitude to the actors of 'Voice', including actress Lee Ha-na, who has been acting unwaveringly in powerful crime scene dramas for several years.
-How did you plan to set up a serial killer with 5 personalities?
The personalities of Dongbangmin, 'Master', 'Center Director', 'Circusman', 'Good Dongbangmin' and 'Boy Dongbangmin' were either the Dongbangmin himself who had been abused by children, or good people who tried to help the Dongbangmin in some way during their lifetime. However, he was unable to help, and he was eventually absorbed into the character of a murderer by a Dongbang man suffering from a personality disorder. This is a common occurrence in multiple personality disorders. The five personalities were also created in part 14 to give reality to the fight between the personalities, as well as a device to trigger an inner conflict between the personalities when Kwon Joo and Derek arrest the people of the East. To protect themselves, the people of the East created the personalities of their victims as vicious criminals, but in the end they were devastated by their personalities.
Also, in Season 4 of 'Voice', the reason for creating multiple personalities and creating multiple personalities is to show that we can all be in danger if we miss the golden time to rescue someone, and the way to prevent child abuse is to show the interest of those around us. There was also I would like to take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude to actor Kim Yoo-nam, who gave an impactful performance in the role of Seok-gu Eom, a circus man who is the character of the people of the East.
- How was the Dong Bang-min that actor Lee Kyu-hyung digested?
The Dong Bang-min character was a multi-personal character that rarely appeared in Korean dramas. I knew that acting would not be easy, so I had a lot of trouble deciding which actor to join, but I was very happy that the director casted actor Lee Kyu-hyung, who performed the best in plays and musicals as well as broadcasts and movies, and that actor Lee Kyu-hyung was willing to take on the role. . In fact, it would be a lie if I said I had no concerns as a writer while writing a multi-personal villain and watching the process of its implementation. However, through the appearance of clearly throwing (detailed) serious concerns about the script, I was convinced that Lee Kyu-hyung would perform the best (more than the script), and it was great to have time to convey the intentions of the warriors and writers for each character. .
In particular, details such as facial expressions and voices between the personalities were very important, and I was amazed to see that they not only prepared surprisingly perfectly, but also lost nearly 10 kg of weight to give the impression that they could disguise themselves as women, and carefully prepared even the accessories and gait. Actor Lee Kyu-hyung, who has been well-received for his multiple roles in plays and musicals, seems to have clearly demonstrated the true value of a genius actor who changes into a different face in an instant as if he absorbed each personality in Season 4 of 'Voice'. (I was even worried that I might feel too focused on the villain)
And in fact, I heard that actor Lee Kyu-hyung had a wrist fracture ahead of the last episodes 13 and 14. Nevertheless, I was really thankful that I successfully completed the final confrontation scene with actor Song Seung-heon while wearing a pressure bandage. In private, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to actor Lee Kyu-hyung, who has a pleasant relationship with the golden time team.
- About Kang Seung-yoon's casting?
After Han Woo-joo was set up as a 4D cyber agent born in the 90s, he was very happy that actor Kang Seung-yoon said he would do it willingly when he was looking for an actor. It was because I thought that Kang Seung-yoon, an idol, singer-songwriter and excellent actor, would be perfect for Han Woo-joo. And before filming began, he showed his passion for running through the last season of 'Voice', and even the way he was immersed in his favorite field was Han Woo-joo, who was born in the 90s.
The role of providing clues in the right place in the process of arresting a criminal must have been difficult because there were a lot of technical terms in the lines, but I was really thankful that I played while taking advantage of the fun point. I also heard that he brought laughter to the weary on-site staff as a mood maker in the field. In reality, the spectrum is diverse, so it seems that he can handle other strong genres and roles, such as thrillers. I would like to give a generous round of applause to actor Kang Seung-yoon, who not only acted but also participated in the OST called 'Your Voice' with the best singing ability.
-What is the biggest difference from the previous season?
'Voice' always brings the luck of working with the best coaches, but it has the disadvantage that it is not easy to meet the schedule for the next season. As a result, it is difficult to meet a new coach every season and start over from the beginning, but thanks to the coaches, the season with a different color seems to have the advantage of 'Voice'. In Season 4, I met director Shin Yong-hwi, who made genres with strong humanism such as 'Tunnel', and focused on realizing those emotions, such as the pain of victims and why family crimes occur. As I said before, I was very worried about how to deal with the level of family crime. I want to talk about the importance of family, but if it is cruel, the meaning will fade, and that doesn't mean I can't abandon the tone and manner 'Voice' has maintained. In the end, season 4 of 'Voice' worked together under the purpose of differentiating it into a season faithful to detail, emotion and emotion rather than the urgency of real-time pursuit.
In addition, by setting the male lead, Derek Jo, as the opposite of Jinhyeok Mu and Kangwoo Do from the previous season, we tried to create a different (mature) atmosphere in the relationship with Kwon Joo and the Golden Time team. In addition, unlike last season, when team members were involved with episodic incidents, this season only unified the theme of family crime for each episode and developed independently. Lastly, to connect the world view, Detective Shim Dae-sik from Season 1 and Agent Cheon Sang-pil were reunited again in Season 4, and I was very proud and moved by the hospitality of the viewers.
-The best scene this season? Is there an episode you worked hard on the most?
All episodes are precious, but the most elaborate episode seems to be episode 14, in which Dong Bang-min is arrested by Kang Kwon-joo and Derek Jo. As it was an important ending of season 4, it was a sequence that was revised several times. The main actors wearing spring clothes (leather jackets, etc.) in the heat wave and the actors who played the characters of the people of the East were waiting. It was fortunate. Also, the most memorable episodes are 'The Road of the Underworld' and 'The Man in the Rape Field'. It was not easy to write a story because 'The Way the Grim Reaper Lives' is an episode in which a man with paranoia and wild dogs who live in the forest appear. (I also heard from the director that he had a lot of trouble on set, such as mobilizing a portable toilet.) I know that 'The Man in the Rape Field' is an episode with a lot of likes and dislikes, but the perfect performances of actor Jeon Moo-song and actor Jo Jae-ryong, who appeared as father and son, I was genuinely impressed.
In addition, there are lines that were repeatedly mentioned in Season 4 of 'Voice'. 'Because it's a family, you shouldn't be silent'. Due to Corona 19, we are all in a situation where we cannot afford it, but the more this happens, the more we need to look around and pay attention to our family, neighbors, and surroundings.
-What kind of picture do you envision for the next season?
In fact, like season 2-3, season 4-5 was also planned together, so the ending of season 4 implies that the narrative of the character Kang Kwon-ju will begin, and the work is done with the intention of laying out multiple lines about what will happen in season 5. did it right In fact, I think season 5 is the part where the secret of Kang Kwon-ju's hearing, which is the most important story of 'Voice', is revealed and the end of the worldview that continues through seasons 1-5. The story related to the re-appearance of F Child Nursing Hospital, Gardness Lee, Fabre Lab, and Bang Jesu, which will be the basic framework of season 5, is actually conceived to some extent.
However, even the writer does not know the schedule for the new season at all. This is because there are many things to consider, such as the actors' schedules and production conditions. This is an area that cannot be decided by the author alone, and if the production of season 5 is confirmed, detailed adjustments may be made later. One of the driving forces of 'Voice' is that it gained sympathy from viewers through the epic narratives of the male protagonists from season 1 to 2-3. Now, for the first time, Center Director Kang Kwon-ju is leaving the Center. Last but not least, actor Kwon Yul, who willingly decided to appear in the area, came running after finishing filming in another province even though it was midnight, wearing a white suit in the heat, and filming until dawn. I would like to express my gratitude once again for actor Kwon Yul's professionalism and his unchanging love for 'voice'.
-What kind of work would you like to be left behind for your fans?
I was very surprised when the viewers who saw 'Voice' season 4 for the first time heard that they were going to run again from season 1. It was the season when I felt 'this is the power of the season system' again, and I also thought that this would give the drama a longer life. Once again, I sincerely bow my head and thank you. Hope for the rescue of the victims, anger towards the perpetrators, and support for the Golden Time Team are not limited to dramas. In a world desolate with cynicism and disgust, 'Voice' listens to small sounds and leaves it as a drama that shows that humans live with hope rather than anger. If you ask me, I can answer, “That drama is interesting,” and when the next season comes out, I sincerely hope that it will remain as a drama that “I miss you”.
-Any message to the viewers who love the 4th season?
I think communication with the viewers is also important because I know that the 'Voice' season system would not have been made without the affectionate interest of the viewers during the 4th season. While 'Voice' was airing, I would like to reflect the points of sympathy and observation with you, and the points of disappointment, in my work in the future. In the meantime, I would like to sincerely thank you for watching the process of resolving Kwon-Joo Kang, Derek Jo, Golden Time Team, Circus Man, Sonam Village, and family crimes in Season 4 of 'Voice', Vimodo.
SOURCE: chosun.com
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Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate
There are a lot of mixed opinions on TWDG: A New Frontier. Some people like it, some don’t, and some people hate it so much that they refuse to accept as canon in the series. Extreme? Yeah, but hey, to each their own. 
One thing that always bothers me when I do my replay of the series and this game is how much Kate is forced on us and even kinda punishes us for not romancing her. Like, no offense, but I’m not really interested in dating my sister-in-law, especially when her husband is actually alive, and even if she wasn’t my brother’s wife, she’s still not a character I have chemistry with, y’know? 
And every time I play, I can’t help but think that almost anyone else in ANF would’ve been a better romantic interest for Javi over Kate, so I decided to make that the list for this week. 
I would’ve loved more choices and for the game to actually show Javi’s canon bisexuality outside of a flirty line with Jesus that most players didn’t even pick. Just sayin’.
I do want to note that if you enjoy the romance with Kate and the relationship between her and Javi, that’s totally cool. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, y’know? I’m not here to try to change your mind or tell you you’re bad for shipping something I don’t because I’m not a dingus. You do what makes you happy, friend. :)
Besides, going off the stats, a majority of players romanced her so if anything, I’m the weirdo. This list is just for fun! 
Before we start, just wanna say a big thank you to @pi-creates​ for helping out with this one! Really appreciate it! Now, here are my top 5 characters who, in my opinion, would’ve made better love interests for Javier than Kate.
5. Jane if the writers didn’t turn her into a dead potato
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Oh man, you should see your face right now. 
Wait, wait, stop! Before you click outta here in a huff with your “Kenny good Jane bad” grunts and come yell at me, just hear me out-- this entry is mostly a joke and the other four on this list are serious, okay? 
I needed someone to put at #5 and after talking over some options and going back and forth.... Jane came up as a joke and then kind of made the list. Because really, I thought about it. I was like, “Would I really rather have dingdong “whatever happens stay out of it” potato face Jane as a love interest over Kate? Do I dislike Kate as an option that much?” and Pi and I talked about this for a while and yeah.... yeah I would actually. 
When I said anyone but Kate, I guess I really meant anyone. 
Trust me, I know, I’m just as surprised. I guess this really says a lot about my feelings for Kate. I didn’t know I disliked her this much either.
But for fun, let’s entertain this idea of the writers NOT pulling the ol’ character assassination on Jane and she made it to Richmond with Clementine and AJ because--
Jane: "One time I ate glass because I was drunk and thought it was sugar."
Javier: "I gambled on my own baseball matches and disgraced myself for money."
Jane: “Well, I dragged my little sister around with me after everything went to shit until I finally gave her what she wanted and left her to die.”
Javier: “I wasn’t there when my dad was fighting cancer and when I finally showed up, I was too late and he was already dead, then he turned and I bashed his skull in with a piece of wood.” 
Jane: “I shot a dude’s dick off once.”
Javier: “Oof. I insulted an old lady’s cake and then shot her eye out.”
Jane: “I screwed a guy when I was supposed to be securing a place for some lady to have her baby and it resulted in the death of a teenage girl.”
Javier: “I screwed my brother’s wife.” 
Jane: “...”
Javier: “In my defense, I thought he was dead.” 
Jane: “That’s fair.”
Clementine, exasperated and emo: “Oh my god.” 
....I mean... we might be onto something here, c’mon--
Okay, now onto the more legit entries. 
4. Conrad
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Now listen... I know, okay? I know. I know this one can be seen as a bit problematic considering the fact that Conrad, in his grief and anger over Francine’s death, held a gun to Gabe’s head and threatened Javi and Clementine.... plus Javi can literally murder him.
...and if you don’t do anything, Conrad with murder both Gabe and Javi and you’ll get a “YOU ARE DEAD” screen...
But we don’t talk about that because it’s not canon.
I know, but listen... I’m allowed to have ships that are difficult, as are you, and this is my list so... there.
If Conrad was a love interest that’s the route I’d take because I love him and I think a relationship between him and Javi could’ve been so damn good if properly done.
I just find Conrad to be an interesting character with a great arc that you only get to see if you don’t shoot him... which is what most people did, so they missed out. And like, I get it, I get why y’all shot him but maybe next time you play, you could consider not doing that?
So here’s the thing, Javi and Conrad share something-- they both lost loved ones because of shithead Badger. Javi is heartbroken after Mariana’s death, Conrad is devastated after Francine’s death, and they both handle that in different ways. Conrad becomes so focused on revenge and getting into Richmond, that he’s willing to threaten two kids in order to get what he wants but the thing is... that’s not him.
He even says so himself when you keep him alive-- he genuinely apologizes for what happened and will end up coming back to save Javi’s life in ep4. The potential for this to work as a relationship? It’s there... the only problem is that my confidence in the writers handling something like this is low, but let’s pretend they used their time and brains wisely-- ya got yourself a classic slow-burn friends to enemies to friends again to lovers romance and I’m here for it. 
3. Paul “Jesus” Monroe
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A lot of people really like the idea of Javi and Jesus and wanted him to be a romantic option, and I don’t blame them. They have chemistry in the scenes they share, and Javi can straight up flirt with him at the end of the season, and it’s super cute... of course, I wish we had more but Telltale was too scared to actually show Javi’s bisexuality outside of that one line, I guess.
But, anyway, this ship has a lot of sweet fanart that we love to see.
The only real reason he isn’t higher on the list is that Jesus is apparently already in a relationship at this point? I guess? From what I’ve been told? Listen, I don’t read the comics, I don’t watch the show, I just go off what y’all tell me. Plus, I believe Kent joked about Jesus having someone in each community during the commentaries so like... that’s a thing?
But let’s pretend that we throw that all out and Jesus is single and ready to be in a committed relationship with our boy Javier here. Like I mentioned above, these characters have a believable chemistry from the moment they meet and I think that has a lot to do with how charming they are by themselves. Those different charms work well together.
I also enjoy how much of a badass Jesus is when it comes to fighting off walkers. Javi has a lot of force that you feel with each hit, while Jesus almost has a lighter but just as impactful hit? I dunno if I’m explaining that well-- basically, Javi strong but Jesus can bounce off walls and do cool shit with weapons that feels effortless.
It’s a combo of fighting styles that I love, so these two fighting together? *chef kiss*
There’s also Jesus’ morality and how he wants to see Javier make “good” decisions, y’know? Sure, he gets pissy if you murder the shit outta Badger, which is mostly just Telltale showing you consequences, but I get it. He sees a lot of potential in Javi, more than Javi himself sees. And unlike certain characters, Jesus doesn’t completely hate you for doing something he doesn’t agree with to a frustrating degree.
If the game gave us the option to pursue Jesus as a love interest, he and Javier would’ve been such a badass couple with a sweet romance.
2. Eleanor
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This one might come as a surprise to those of you who know my feelings about Eleanor... as in, I don’t like her. I never forgave her for the shit she pulled in ep4/ep5, and now every time I replay ANF and she shows up? Well, all I really hear is the hissing of a snake.
But, putting those feelings aside and looking at her from a different perspective, I do believe that she would’ve made for a better love interest than Kate assuming that if you romanced her, she wouldn’t rat everyone out to Joan, y’know?
Hell, most people believed that Eleanor was going to be the second option with Kate back when the episodes were coming out, and for good reason. The chemistry is there in the flirting, and their relationship could’ve been super cute.
Of course, Eleanor being a love interest also comes with things becoming awkward with Tripp, but c’mon-- as awkward as pursuing a relationship with your sister-in-law and never telling your brother after finding out he’s alive? Nah, I don’t think so.
Plus, for the first three episodes, Eleanor’s not a bad character. In fact, she’s pretty damn likable, she deeply cares for the group and wants to use her medical skills for good.
And you can tell through the dialogue that she and Javi are fond of one another... well, I guess until they shove the Kate thing in our faces and suddenly Eleanor’s like “oh, I thought you two were a thing??” like... Eleanor, we were flirting and I totally rejected all of Kate’s advances last episode I mean??
If she were a love interest, instead of turning on us, she would... y’know, not do that and instead help us out. We have a couple cute moments like back in ep1 where she’s patching Javi up but this time with a smooch? Super cute.
1. Tripp
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Okay but seriously, why wasn’t Tripp a love interest? 
He’s the perfect option. I just-- uuuughhhhh. 
They already have a great believable bromance, so why not take it a step further and make it an official romance? Oh wait, that’s right, ya gotta kill off 95% of your determinant characters, I forgot. Sorry Tripp. 
Well, fuck that. Out of all the other adult characters, Javi has the most chemistry with this man. I believe them more than I believe him and Kate. Sure, they got off to a rocky start the progression of their relationship felt natural with every episode. 
That scene where Tripp is confiding in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor? And in turn, Javi can confide in him about Kate? One of my favorite scenes. I only wish there was an option to tell Tripp he can do much better and set the path for the romance. 
Seriously, I’d probably feel more okay about the romance with Kate if Tripp were the second option. That way, Kate wouldn’t be so forced onto the player, the writers confirming Javi’s bisexuality on Twitter or whatever wouldn’t feel like they were trying to earn points without actually showing representation, and we would’ve gotten the beauty that is Javier and Tripp. 
Also, then Tripp could make it to the end without dying that dumb death of his that no one likes. 
And if I haven’t convinced you yet, then look at these swaps Pi did--
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--and tell me they aren’t fucking perfect?? You can’t, because look at them. 
Where’s my Tripp route, Telltale??
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Honorable Mentions
-If I wasn’t sticking to just ANF characters, Luke probably would’ve made the list because that’s apparently a popular combo and I dig it.  -Pudding... because Javi fucking loves pudding.  -Honestly Max probably would’ve been a better love interest than Kate oof--
---
So, whattya think? Do you agree with this top 5 or nah? Do you have a favorite Javi ship? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. :D
Next week’s T5F Top 5 Times Lee was the Absolute Best
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yukipri · 4 years ago
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Marco’s Bauble Part 8 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story
Another update for Tumblr!
This work goes by On the Courtship of Monkey D. Luffy on AO3, and I’ll be updating over there tonight as well!
A quick question....do people like reading the updates here on Tumblr? Or now that it’s on AO3, would people prefer to read there? And if so, would you be okay waiting for new updates until AO3 catches up? I’m a little torn because I’m not sure if people are enjoying reading on here, and it’s quite a hassle to format for Tumblr, and it’s getting a bit difficult for me to juggle updating these stories on 3 separate platforms...
ANYWAY, in this update, Thatch has some Thoughts, and there is mention of Ace x Luffy.
Continues off of, and should be read after:
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 4
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 5
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 6
👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 7
~~
What are her 3 sizes?
(For the wedding dress, of course.)
"The fuck! Like I'd tell you!" Thatch roars, startling the blue gull into momentarily leaping off the rail, before it circles back, landing again to peck at his  sleeve to express its displeasure. Thatch ignores it, because he's fuming.
So apparently all of his and Koala's secret debates over whether Marco intentionally proposed or not were for naught, because here's the fucking evidence. And it comes from Izo of all people, because Thatch would recognize that lopsided handwriting anywhere (the man insists that his handwriting is beautiful in his native language of Wano, but he never quite got used to writing any other way).
And well, if Izo, an unrelated third party but professional snooper knows, then Marco himself must know.
And apparently, they're already planning a wedding.
Thatch feels like an idiot. He'd been defending Marco against Koala, and the lil Revolutionary was a tough opponent, one he'd had to chase out of the kitchen with a ladle more than once when he was tired of her word games. Thatch had insisted, like a fool, that no Marco's not that kind of guy, he really isn't the type to play with people's emotions, he would never propose for a joke, nor would he do it seriously without good reason. It must all be an accident, a little misunderstanding, Marco was just ignorant like Thatch himself was!
Except, apparently he did know and it wasn't an accident, and now Thatch feels completely lost because he doesn't know what Marco's thinking at all. Marco, who's not just his his first friend on the Moby, but arguably his best friend; Marco, his brother over several decades; Marco, who Thatch thought he knew better than anyone, except perhaps Pops himself...
Thatch's also pissed, because if Marco wants to start drama after they all reunite and he's introduced to Luffy, that's one thing (not that that would be great either). But right now, they're still near the beginning of Paradise with almost half the circumference of the world to go until even the halfway point, and Marco is WAY on the other side of the Red Line. If this ship explodes in flames or whatever that batshit Revolutionary brother might do, Mister First Division Commander is completely unaffected, but there are plenty of innocents here (like hello! Thatch!) who would find that pretty devastating.
Also, Thatch was the one who passed on that gift to Luffy! Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time...doesn't that make Thatch complicit? And even if not, Marco's strongest connection here is clearly Thatch. If Marco's actions cause chaos, then the blame and responsibility to clean up the mess naturally falls upon Thatch. Which, he definitely did not sign up for.
Pops, Thatch thinks miserably, I thought I was supposed to show them they can depend on us Whitebeards, NOT that us Whitebeards will fuck shit up for them...
But more than anything, there's a shocking large part of Thatch that absolutely balks at just the idea of Luffy getting married. And it's shocking because Thatch shouldn't feel this upset.
Marco, for all the complaints Thatch wants to hurl at him at the moment, is still a really great guy. A guy who, in literally any other situation, Thatch would be the first in line to enthusiastically encourage, and also to congratulate.
And sure, Thatch knows he has a crush, and his little Seastar's carving out a larger home for herself in his heart by the day, but--Thatch admittedly has crushes a lot. Sure, this one feels different, but...Marco, to his knowledge, has never had a romantic crush. He only sometimes but very rarely even has a night out, and Thatch doesn't think he's ever held a relationship longer than three encounters. He's always so serious, so diligent, so sincerely and whole-heartedly dedicated to Pops and his family. He almost never does anything selfish for himself, and Thatch would know.
If, for whatever reason, Marco is genuinely serious about Luffy...then Thatch should, and would, step to the side, regardless of personal feelings. If this is the path Marco wants, then he deserves it, and Thatch will always be the first to say it, no matter how craptastic the circumstances. And Thatch knows that Marco would give his bride the world.
Without them even having met, Thatch doesn't doubt for a second that Marco would make Luffy happy, till the end of her days.
The fact that Thatch knows all this, yet still feels near unbearable reluctance...says more than he's willing to admit.
And so he decides to avoid thinking about the most obvious reason (his own feelings), and instead contemplates his second very compelling reason: Ace.
His littlest brother isn't so great at being honest with himself, and never has. But this, Thatch feels, isn't just a matter of denial.
The boy literally has no clue.
Oh sure, Ace knows he loves his little brother. He makes sure everyone else knows it too, both here on the Merry and back on the Moby once he opened up enough to talk to people. He's so damn proud of her, yet also concerned for her, while also trusting her with his life and more. It's clear to anyone who sees them together that he absolutely adores her.
But it's more than that, isn't it, Thatch thinks. It's in the little gestures, the way Ace raises his arm up without looking at her and she slides under it, also without needing to look at him. It's the casual way they lace their fingers together, like it's nothing, when they're snoozing out on the deck. It's the way sometimes they have unspoken conversations, just staring into each others eyes, before moving forward in synch to meet in the middle to bump their foreheads together in some secret mutual understanding.
It's the reason why Sanji, for all his extravagant flirting, knows when to shut up and return to being a normal human (and, Thatch grudgingly admits, this applies to himself too). It's why Zoro never lets his gaze linger more than two seconds longer than it needs to (but he'll always take those two seconds), why Nami always looks like she wants to sit closer but doesn't, why Koala hasn't said anything when she's probably usually a much more proactive flirter.
Everyone on their crew can see it, except the two in question.
Ace, Thatch thinks, heaving a huge sigh as he looks down at the crumpled note from Izo in his palm. Little brother, you are so fucking in love.
It might not necessarily be romantically. It's certainly not particularly sexually, if Ace's lack of reaction to Lu's aggressive physical smothering is any indication. It could very possibly be platonically.
But either way, there's no room for Sanji, nor Zoro, nor the girls, nor even Thatch himself...at least, until those two figure that out.
Until then, everyone aboard the Merry is here because they love and respect their captains. No one would dare encroach on something so special, yet so potentially immature, not yet ready to be dragged out to be recognized.
Thatch knows Ace has known Luffy for years, he practically raised her. But he was also away at sea for three years. Luffy was a child when he left; she's an adult now.
Thatch once asked him if she had changed at all since he last saw her (Ace most certainly had, according to Deuce). And Ace looked blank, then horribly confused, before saying No...but also, yeah, I guess. Thatch understands; Ace isn't used to not knowing something about Luffy. And something...something had changed.
That something might very well be the thing that needs to be figured out. And for that, Ace hasn't had much time yet, since reuniting with Luffy. Only as much time as the rest of them, in fact. And they deserve time to figure that out, and as the two captains' loving crew, the ASL pirates have an unsaid agreement to watch over them...at least until they have.
(After that, Thatch thinks grimly, it might be open game.)
But of course, there's also the question of Luffy herself, and as much as she's the heart of the ASL Pirates, she's also an enigma. Thatch, for all that he adores her and honestly wants more with her, genuinely has a hard time imagining her as anything but clueless as someone's romantic partner (he's carefully not thinking about anything sexual). It very well may be that the whole "figuring out" that she and Ace have to do...ends up being nothing. And that's fine as well.
Either way, as much as Thatch loves him, there's no way that any of them here on board the Merry will stand to let Marco shatter this delicate...whatever it is that's going on between their captains, that the rest of them are so patiently respecting. Even if it ends up continuing indefinitely.
As strained as it can feel at times, they're comfortable like this. There's the little spark of joy when Seastar gives him a little extra attention, a little burn when Sanji kisses her hand, but comfort in the stability that no one will go any further. If anything it's a nice little spice to their daily lives, just the right amount, and not enough ruin the dish so to speak. This is fine.
Except, that there's just one teeny little problem...
"What did the blue gull bring you today, Commander?"
Thatch doesn't jump, because he's not an amateur and did realize that the Revolutionary was approaching, but perhaps later than he should have. Damn the kid's good at hiding his presence, and Thatch wonders if he'd have noticed at all if Sabo was being serious.
"Just a stupid request from a stupid brother," Thatch says cheerfully as he turns around to face Sabo. The boy isn't even trying to hide his curiosity, his gaze pinned to Thatch's hand.
Thatch contemplates chucking the letter into the sea, but then he realizes he isn't sure Sabo wouldn't just dive after it, and as a devil fruit user, Thatch wouldn't be able to stop him from reading it underwater.
So he casually uncurls his fingers, watches Sabo visibly perk up--before Thatch opens a black hole in his palm, letting the crumpled paper get sucked into the void.
(Perhaps he should be using his power as more than a secure second dimension pocket expansion, but hey, so far it hasn't been so helpful in the kitchen.)
Sabo sags and sulks, rather cutely, Thatch thinks. "You coulda let me see it," he pouts, looking up at Thatch with an expression uncannily like Luffy's. Fuck.
"Collecting intel, Chief?" Thatch winks, expertly hiding his horror that for a moment, he'd actually been tempted. Little sneak.
"Perhaps." Something slightly manic enters his gaze, and alright, that's nothing like Seastar, not so cute after all...
"Nice try, but it's a personal family thing, can't really share," Thatch says, and it's not really a lie.
Sabo grunts, letting it go, before his gaze flicks to the gull, who still has a beakful of Thatch's sleeve. "It waiting for something?"
Thatch sighs. "Yeah, yeah, my response, which I should probably give..." Because, right, Thatch needs to send a message back to the Moby, even if no, he isn't going to answer Izo's idiotic question.
Which, is actually a fine excuse to extract himself from this situation.
"So, sorry, the response also is personal, hope you don't mind," Thatch nods, and Sabo easily opens the way for him--which, Thatch belatedly realizes, he'd actually been blocking. Scary, little Chief, scary...
"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Sabo sounds genuinely apologetic, and tips his hat at Thatch as he passes by, and Thatch inwardly heaves a massive sigh of relief. "I'm working on it, but I know I can get a little...pushy, when it comes to things that involve my baby brother."
Thatch continues to walk away.
But inside...
Oh. Yikes, he thinks.
~~
Thatch is in the privacy of the currently empty men's sleeping room beneath the deck, and has just finished writing and giving instructions and bribes to the gull when the hatch creaks open.
"Thatch, we're in trouble," Koala announces as she stomps down the stairs, making her sneaky opening of the door rather pointless.
"I noticed," Thatch says dryly.
Koala pales. "He didn't break any of your toes, did he?!"
"What."
"Well, you're a cook, you make food Luffy likes with your hands," Koala shrugs. "Just wanted to make sure."
"What the fuck."
"I don't think he will! You're Luffy and Ace's crew, and you're a Whitebeard pirate, but..."
Thatch groans. "I already thought your Chief might be trouble, but holy shit I didn't know he was that batshit."
"He might not be!" Koala sounds defensive, but it's not particularly comforting. "He's usually reasonable, kind of, but since his memories came back..."
Thatch throws up his arms. "So, how'd he get it out of you?"
Koala flushes. "I didn't say anything!"
"Sure."
"It's not my fault that Sabo's a damn--!"
There's a loud knock, before the hatch flings open, and Ace pops his head in. "Hey Thatch! What's for snack--"
"NOT AGAIN!" Koala cries.
At the same time, Thatch shouts, "IN A SECOND!"
Either way, the hatch slams shut with a, "SORRY!"
Thatch and Koala stare at each other with their hearts beating uncomfortably rapidly.
They slowly heave a slow sigh of relief as the tension drains.
"I really need to apologize to Ace," Thatch mutters.
"I really need to work on my Observation Haki," Koala groans.
"HEY THATCH, I WANT A SNACK," Luffy shouts, and Thatch and Koala's heads whip around in horror, only to sag with relief at seeing that Luffy's not in the room, but only for a second--
--because after that second, a mermaid's crashing through the hatch, ripping it from its hinges as she slams, hatch and all, into Thatch's chest.
The room fills with dust and debris, and there are shouts outside.
Koala gingerly peers into the wreckage where Thatch is now buried in the wall, a terrified blue gull  perched on her shoulders peering alongside her, its claws digging through the fabric of her shirt.
"We're fine," Thatch coughs, peering down to make sure he'd successfully caught and shielded Luffy from damage, even as he peels himself from the wood. Luffy seems unharmed, though her eyes are wide; she clearly hadn't expected to do quite this much.
"...Armament?" Koala asks, noticing how the back of Thatch's hair is black from where it's fanned around him.
"Armament," Thatch agrees, keeping the entire back of his body coated until he's safely pulled himself and Luffy, still in his arms, away from any sharp wood.
"Sorry, Thatch," Luffy says, not particularly apologetic, if anything sort of curious. She peels herself back from his chest, scritching her cheek while looking down at what was once the hatch to the mens room that had shattered between them. She then reaches back to tug at Thatch's black locks, and oohs when they fade back to auburn.
"No worries, just make sure to make it up to Deuce and Usopp when they have to fix this," Thatch sighs, before grinning, letting his arms fall away from Luffy once he knows she has a secure grip on his shoulders. He then begins carding his fingers through her hair to make sure no splinters got in, and likewise dusting off the front of her vest, taking care not to let his touch linger. Luffy nods frantic agreement, more like rubs her head into his palm, and Thatch feels his heart skip a beat.
Koala sighs.
"Hey Thatch, what's this?"
Thatch blinks, then inwardly curses.
Luffy's holding Izo's crumpled piece of paper. His control of his power's still shoddy, and it must have accidentally spat it back out in the commotion.
Please, don't be able to read that, he prays. He luckily doesn't have much confidence in Luffy's reading abilities.
"It says 'what are her three sizes.' What are those?"
In the background, Koala slowly raises her fist.
~~
A few days later, Marco's scouting when a blue gull rapidly approaches him.
Delivery! it squawks. Delivery for you, Boss, and don't show Izo! Don't show Izo! Don't show Izo or the bread man will be mad!
Thank you, noted, friend, Marco responds, and catches the note from Thatch in mid air.
The gull trills acknowledgement, then wheels away to rejoin its brethren, while Marco changes course for the nearest island, a safe forest haven in Pops's territory, still a ways away from the Moby. It's uninhabited, save for the wildlife, and it would be good to land once before returning home anyway.
Marco lands lightly on the tallest and oldest tree on the island, from where he can survey the island of pure greenery, and the endless blue stretching beyond. The branch he's chosen looks deceptively thin, but he already knows it can support his human weight, which is why he shifts, passing the note from his claw to his hand before completing his transformation.
Marco frowns. The other Commanders (and to be honest, the entire crew) have been acting a bit strange recently, but for Thatch, who isn't even on board with them, to also be in on it...
True, this may or may not be related to that at all. But still.
Marco feels like he's missing something.
Marco, Thatch's message starts, and Marco already knows it's going to be serious because it didn't start with a jibe at his appearance.
Marco, I think I'm actually serious about her. Thoughts, brother?
Her, meaning the Ace's little brother, the mermaid girl.
If Marco remembers correctly, in Thatch's first note back to him, he'd written, She's stolen my heart, I think I want to marry her.
Marco had assumed Thatch was joking at the time, or just light-heartedly flirting, as he always did. Marco's used to hearing Thatch spew these kinds of words, and he'd taken it to mean that the girl's exceptionally Thatch's type, but hadn't thought further.
The words had made him remember a little trinket he'd had stored in a chest at the back of his closet, one he'd received from an elderly couple on Fishman Island around two decades ago...
But that's not important now, Marco thinks, focussing on Thatch's message.
In all his years of flings and casual relationships and jokingly asking ladies (and some gents) Won't you marry me...Thatch has not once asked for Marco's opinion. He's certainly had plenty of opinions himself about whether someone would be a potential good match for Marco, which Marco always ignored. But Thatch has never asked Marco about matches for himself.
Thatch really is serious.
Marco finds himself slowly smiling. "Finally, you sap," he murmurs, though no one hears him but the other birds in the trees around him.
He knows he ought to think more about what to say, but the answer is so obvious that Marco takes Thatch's note, and carefully tears the paper so that his brother's words aren't damaged. Gently tucking Thatch's note into his pocket, Marco pulls out a pen for the remaining small blank strip of paper.
Shortly afterwards, two birds depart from the island, in opposite directions: one, a phoenix, wings burning cyan against the clear skies, and the other, a blue gull headed to Paradise.
~~
~~
~~
Part 9, things start Moving as Sabo confronts Ace.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! And again, please do let me know if you actually like reading the story here on tumblr or not >.<;
As always, any comments are immensely appreciated and help motivate me to create more for this AU! ;A;
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