#or at least he’s incapable of not falling in line when ordered and didn’t have time to stand by whatever his actual morals are which. he

[lesbiankoby]

you absolutely cannot underestimate how funny i think credo devil may cry is, he seemed to have absolutely no problem with triggering a demon apocalypse with the sole purpose of the order swooping in and “saving” people afterwards in order to ignite their faith, he only seems to care when he realized someone he cares about— and not even the other kid he half raised himself! while he attempted to keep nero out of it he caved in to sanctus and fought to turn him into the church at the end!— got caught in the crossfire (kyrie!). thats some dog like loyalty and uh dogmatism right there, lol!

i really wish he’d lived i think nero would be able to process the betrayal more if the actor of it wasn’t conveniently too dead to answer for any of that

[uristarrysky]

Happy Ending Romance (Rant/Review/Theory)

Plot

I am wondering what the “corruption” was that JW revealed that resulted in his exile. My initial thoughts before airing was that the man had his interns writing his work for him & taking the credit. Something along those lines with abuse of power for staff. As the man still holds power in the industry & seemingly is undisturbed power wise as a result of the reveal though still harbors intense resentment towards JW for outing him. But considering how JW is ghost writing for JH, that theory no longer applies - even if there is a more ethical route for these two, I don’t see it JW ghost writing for someone else if that was what led to his exile in the first place. So what kind of Harvey Weinstein bullshit did that guy do for his “corruption” & not get cancelled for it? I will be pissed if they don’t address what the “corruption” was because it feels like such a cop-out story wise to not include the specifics for the impetus of the plot. 

If they try to wrap this up in a tiny little bow with a “happy ending” that JW could publish under TY’s incapable failing company & they lived happily ever after as a couple - I will learn if it is possible to scream & hurl simultaneously. 

Failing Publisher

Oh boy………that startup is worthless. How long ago did they open up that business? JW’s exile & TY’s quitting Literature Square was 3 years ago. When did TY & WJ open up their business? Where did they get the funding for it? How are they surviving with food, rent & other necessities when their business literally makes NOTHING! Did they just open up in the past few months & didn’t prepare enough funds to sustain them for a while as they attempt to actually publish anything? Or has this place been open for 1-2 years & they’ve been so lazy/incompetent to actually sign anyone to publish with? WJ at least seems to be trying while TY just has tunnel vision for JW. 

TY comes across as the type that wants to boast about how they’re a CEO or business owner but has absolutely no business sense & therefore their business is one gust of wind away from falling. He should have stuck with being an editor, he does not have the work ethic, focus, or responsibility required for running a business. He is so wound up thinking about JW that a tornado could come through the office & the man would not even blink!

Ghost Writing

There are a few different scenarios I can think of for this. 

A) JW & JH decided to use JH’s name & body in order to publish JW’s work without destroying another company & actually getting to publish. They share the profits fairly.

B) JH was already an established writer with a following so using his name for ghost writing would ensure that JW’s work got published & gained notoriety. Whether this is intended to be a lifelong deal, until the senior dies (we don’t even know the age of that senior either) or until the books are so wildly popular that revealing the true author would no longer threaten either of their careers because the work is too popular to exile them. With JH’s mention of waiting things out a little longer - it feels like this method of waiting till it’s too popular to fail might have been their plan.

C) JH hit writers block for his own writing career, sees that JW has talent & has him ghost write for him - using him to gain fame & fortune. Perhaps does not share the profits beyond paying for their rent, utility & food costs - essentially making JW a live in slave.

D) JH offered ghost writing under his name to “help” JW get published but was doing this for the sake of his own fame & fortune because he envies JW’s talent. 

Did JW write ALL of JH’s books for the past three years & completely by himself? Did they write them together? Did JH used to get his own work published prior to the exile? Does JH publish some of his own work during this exile? The answers to these questions provide different situations that have varying levels of acceptability. If ALL the books are completely written by JW then naturally he should get a bigger cut of the profits as JH is only a body double & that would explain how JW could feel like he is being used. If they work on them together under JH’s name then that is probably the most ideal option for JH if they go the “too popular to fail” route as then they both could still have a career. If they both wrote their own books under JH’s name then at least JH is also writing for himself & could possibly still have a career if JW left him before the ghost writing secret is revealed. If the ghost writing is unveiled by someone else though then they’re both in the doghouse of the publishing world. JW still being blacklisted & then JH would lose his career as no publisher would ever trust it to be his work thereby assuming it is JW’s - who is in exile. Then they can both be in exile together, though more likely apart as JW would leave now that their arrangement no longer benefits him. He doesn’t seem to love JH at all, maybe he did once but now their relationship is one of convenience & codependency. 

Characters

TY: I can rant about how much this fucker annoys the absolute shit out of me. In my perspective of the series so far & not knowing the “corruption” impetus for the story - TY is the villain. He is a stalker, he has been told to leave things alone over & over by not just JH but also his partner WJ. He literally has done sasaeng behavior but because he’s bubbly - it’s okay? Fuck off with that bullshit. He quit his job because of JW - a man who didn’t even know him. He made his whole life about wanting to publish JW’s work & started a company for that purpose. He refuses to legitimately consider publishing anything that doesn’t involve JW, he HAS to make EVERYTHING about JW. 

If all of JH’s books were completely written by JW then shouldn’t his stalker be able to tell? He is only obsessed with JW & his writing under his name but can’t see that JH’s books are his writing too? People can recognize diction from their friend’s posts online but he can’t recognize JW’s diction in entire full-length books under JH’s name when he has JW’s first book to go by. He probably read that book several times over but never noticed similarities to JH’s work. 

JW: Without knowing the reason for the exile, I feel like we’re missing vital information which could impact our views on his character. Was he really a victim if the person he outed hasn’t been canceled & exiled themselves? Did he just commit slander against them or was there a legitimate case for revealing what he did? 

JH: He seems to genuinely care about protecting JW from further suffering. He saw how much it hurt for JW to be exiled, he saw how his attempt to publish under his own name resulted in the end of their friend’s publishing startup & he wants to avoid that happening again. So when bubbly insanely optimistic stalker comes poking around claiming he can publish JW’s work - JH is understandably guarded & wanting to protect JW. He offers instead to sign with the company & see if they can publish under his name first, as they have never published anything before. If they can’t last long enough to publish with his name then they wouldn’t be able to publish with JW’s. He wants to test them. WJ is all for it & keeps trying to convince TY but TY’s lizard brain only has JW in mind. 

JW & JH

Codependency is a big issue for these two. JW living with JH & using his name to publish his work. JH using JW’s work if the books are not collaborative in nature & he is not writing his own material as well.  The relationship feels one-sided, JH seems to genuinely love or at least care for JW but JW seems to use his “I’m a poor meow meow, don’t you feel bad for me” to guilt trip JH. He feels guilt for sinking his friend’s publishing startup but doesn’t care that he could sink JH’s career if the ghost writing is outed. Caring more for a friend that you haven’t talked to in years, until it was convenient for you, than the boyfriend that has been by your side the whole time - he really isn’t innocent in all this. If you want to claim that JH is manipulative then recognize that JW is too. JH may at least have good intentions whereas JW seems selfish.

JH asks JW if they should break up, asks JW if he is happy. JW says no to breaking up but as soon as he has an offer to stay elsewhere with another man that is interested in him, one that he barely knows - he leaves easily, now that he has someone else to cater to him. 

JW & TY

TY is a stalker & now JW has agreed to live in his apartment. TY claimed he would let JW write in peace & he’d sleep at the office. He does not do this. Instead he creepily watches him with an insane smile on his face. The man has NO RESPECT FOR BOUNDARIES, no respect for the fact that he is actively pursuing JW who is already in a relationship (sure not a healthy one but at least don’t try to actively break them up to have a shot with JW.) No respect for leaving JW the fuck alone to write & not watch him creepily. 

He keeps claiming that he can publish JW’s work under his own name but the man has literally NEVER published ANY author & he confidently claims he can publish an exiled author. The man has rocks banging around in his head, certainly not a brain in there. He can’t afford rent & electricity for his office - he certainly can’t afford to produce thousands of books to sell. The entire process for publishing takes months if not years to accomplish so a company that can’t afford the absolute basics to run (rent & utilities) CANNOT survive to the point of selling books. Writing a book takes time, editing it takes time, picking out the cover art & artist or model takes time. Then you have to produce thousands of copies, advertise it, see which book stores would like to sell it & then finally selling it. This entire process requires several months to over a year. 

The person who is clearly gaslighting JW is in fact TY. His bubbly & obnoxious smile doesn’t excuse the fact that he is a lying asshole. JW is unaware of the fact that TY can’t pay his bills, all he knows is that TY has a publishing startup. 

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 304

Exodus/Arachnids in the UK

“Exodus”

Plot Description: In apocalypse world, several family reunions yield varying results. Sam and Dean attempt to plan a mass escape through the rift

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died

I know this is has always been about family drama but they turned it up a notch

I love how many times Sam says he’ll handle someone and then he doesn’t….this time about Lucifer

Poor Jack ☹️

I don’t like how Lucifer is looking at Mary——she’s not gonna go back with the boys?

Oh no….oh! Right! The entire premise of this episode…Sam was agreeing with Mary’s decision, but only partially. He still wants her back home but in order to get that, they have to make this world…not the apocalypse, but they’re gonna regroup in our world

Why would Cas leave Jack with Lucifer?! Like, let them talk, sure, Jack deserves to know about this half of his genetics…but keep them supervised!

Why is this plan so bad? Why does Bobby think that?

There’s an audio used on tiktok about how much hotter some men get when their whole life falls apart. I still hate Ketch, but…it’s not untrue about him

There’s an evil Castiel here?!

Oh, they’re gonna be doing practically the same thing. Cas getting info from the guy who set up Charlie and Ketch, and evil Cas doing the same but worse TO Charlie and Ketch

“I’ve known you since the stars were made” is such a good line, you’d think it was from Good Omens between the ineffable husbands, but it’s Gabriel telling Lucifer that he (L) can’t change and is incapable of love and empathy

Damn, Gabe. A little harsh.

What is this voice, Misha? It almost sounds German?

Watching Cas kill evil Cas sure was something. That’s a new poll, would you kill your clone?

Charlie and Ketch got rescued…AND everyone decided to go through the rift? What’s a gonna go wrong?! This is the penultimate episode of the season. Things are going to smoothly

This is unexpectedly sage and decent advice Lucifer is giving to Jack…

Roro strengthening the rift 💖

Of COURSE once it’s down to just a few, Michael shows up

Is Gabriel dead for good now?! Nooooo

Well, at least Michael and Lucifer are locked away in apocalypse world…….for now

SOMEONE CHECK ON JACK!!!! Y’all are celebrating too much and he’s just lost his uncle and dad (the second one only sort of) and didn’t even kill his other uncle, like he promised he would do

Yeah, I kind of figured Lucifer would propose a team up with Michael. This can’t go well

“Arachnids in the UK”

Plot Description: something is very wrong with the spiders in Sheffield. The Doctor and friends investigate

This man who seems to be a stand in for the US president is VERY obviously a very certain recent one, and after last episode, I just don’t know that England needs to be saying so much about the US’s history and politics when they’re no better

The dance the Doctor does every time they want to invite a new companion is so funny. They have to make it seem like they’re lonely enough to like some company but not enough that they’re desperate for it. Though Thirteen immediately being down for tea at Yaz’s is a nice change from past iterations

Doc, you could get a sofa for the TARDIS. You don’t have to do small talk like this

Ohhhhhhhhh Yaz’s mom was the woman that dude fired

Oh Graham…no, it’s HARD going back to a place you shared with someone you recently lost

I know they’re trying to make the webs ominous, but it’s not working. Well, ok. That’s TOO many cobwebs. It’s still not scary

When that same thing happened to Frodo, it was a lot scarier. That spider might not be Shelob size, but it’s way bigger than your average Australian one

Oooo, what’s Ryan’s beef with his dad?

I thought for a moment the hotel owner (who no longer seems to actually be the president but is still very reminiscent of said former president) was involved in the spider thing, and maybe he still is, just funding more than hands on

If the spiders weren’t fucking huge, no one would care

LIVING for Ryan doing shadow puppets while the Doctor and this scientist discuss the abnormal behaviors the spiders have been exhibiting

I have had it with these morherfucking spiders in this motherfucking town

No. No. Absolutely not. Why is it GIGANTIC?! That’s…WAY bigger than the other ones

This dude is so fucking pathetic, and not in the good way

I am now way too aware of anything that’s remotely tickling me. Megumi doesn’t help

He’s not president but he’s planning on running for president

That dude should not have a gun…

We already knew he was a terrible and sleazy businessman, but metaphorically washing his hands by saying he just signs the contracts…I wanna punch him

Yaz’s dad is gonna be so funny when they get out of this

I cannot wait for this episode to be over. I can deal with regular sized spiders, but this is……it’s too many and they’re too big

I love when they choose to go with the Doctor. It’s always such a heartwarming scene

[lokiswife13]

“I just thought you should know I never wanted closure”.

Summary: Steve and y/n we’re friends with benefits but since Nancy everything has change.

I was inspire by the song “so good” by Halsey and “friends” by Gracie Abrams, there’s some lyrics of these song in the story. Hope you like it.

Warnings: smut, explicit. characters are 18.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Looking from the outside, being a spectator from your own life, being incapable of doing anything besides falling. That’s how y/n felt, like constantly falling in and out of her life, she couldn’t control what happened around her and she couldn’t control herself, she couldn’t go on like this any longer.

“I’m trying my best here, y/n”. That wasn’t fair for her, having him at her home.

“Your best, Steve? I need you to go”. He didn’t even move.

Please, she thought. Just leave, go, she thought. It was hard for her, everything she always wanted was him, all for her, but sometimes things didn’t worked out. For her it was the proof that her happiness wasn’t available to her, somehow life always made her aware that for her the happy ending just wasn’t at her reach.

“When I left I bet you held her body closer, I was hoping you will tell her it was over”. Steve looked at the floor, trying to collect himself, to appear stronger than he was. “Cause you are all I think about and everywhere I go… I can’t do this anymore, Steve. I really meant those words the last time we slept together”.

She knew that Nancy was the girl he wanted, somehow their relationship was a statement to his parents and to him, like she was the savior, his savior.

“You wanna us to sleep together?”. She asked.

“No, I mean…” Steve said.

“You-We need to stop doing this. I can’t go on like this anymore. Us, is wrong”. The last word made her sad, her eyes sting, teardrops started falling. “I’m leaving, Steve”. Steve looked at her it shock.

“You can’t, no. You told me you wouldn’t be able to walk away, I need you”. He took a step closer to her and she didn’t move, he hugged her, intimate, almost like losing her was a thought he couldn’t stand.

“Is for the best, and is only a year. You are all I think about and I know it’s bad but we could be so good. I don’t wanna stay cause everything it’s different, you been with her long enough for me to understand that you want her and not me. And it’s okay, really. I need to move on”.

Steve didn’t move, he just hugged her and realized that all the shit they’ve been through was what bring them closer. And the way their story was form, almost like a curve, not a perfect line but somehow that was what he loved the most, the relationship had grew against everything and even when he was laying with Nancy she was all he thought about, but not even that made him think about the consequences that playing with fire would bring, specially for her. The line he drew was killing her inside and he was devastated because he didn’t notice it at all.

Y/n felt like she had water in her lungs, around him she couldn’t even breathe, she fell in love since the first time she saw him at that basketball game, moving almost like in pilot, like he knew the game even before it started, and when he looked at her and smile, that was it, she fell, and didn’t care if only they were sleeping together, at least she had a little of his love, the way he loved her was all she needed, she thought she would have the nerve to say him to try something more, but the fear took the best of her and when Nancy showed up she just knew things will change, maybe for the better, this was a goodbye, for now at least.

[flashback]

“Hey, y/n”. Steve said once she opened the door.

“Hi, Steve. Come in”. She smile and he did the same.

“I was around the neighborhood and thought I would said hi”. Steve said while looking at her.

“Get in the couch”. She ordered and he smile.

Steve sat on the couch, watching every move she made, feeling his arouse growing almost with his breathing, she was wearing a beautiful black skirt and a hoodie that made her look so good, she moved with grace towards him, sitting in his lap and kissed him like it would be the last time.

“I’m gonna tell her that it’s over”. Y/n smile.

She didn’t believe he would do that, and she had made up her her mind, she was leaving for a year to take care of her grandma. This was it, she wasn’t falling for his words.

“It’s okay, Steve. Let’s just enjoy this”.

Steve moved his kisses to her neck and made her get rid of the hoodie, the black lace of her bra made him wimper and she smile at it, the friction she was creating with her movements against him, he was in heaven, once again only her could reach this kind of reaction from him, the needy guy that loved every single thing about her.

“Strip”. He said and she smile.

She stand and looked directly to him, the black lace of her bra and the skirt made her looked so good.

“Are you sure? I though this type of skirt stayed during sex”. She said playing with the waist band.

“I want to see all of you, y/n”. She nodded.

She strip in front of him. The black lace of her lingerie made her appear even more pale that she already was, the yellow tone of the light in the living room made her eyes pop in a darker shade. Steve was mesmerized by her, by all of her. And probably he will always be.

“Come here”. Steve reach her hand and sit her in his lap, kissing the expose skin in her chest and with one hand pulling down the bra to free one of her boobs, he definitely was a boob men. She smile and Steve put one of her nipples in his mouth, moaning against it and y/n mooned in response.

The heated breathes and the way his mouth made her feel, like every nerve of her body was there only when he was around, she helped him get rid of his clothes, touching him in the process and making a mess of him. She was dripping for him, desperate to feel him inside her, in response Steve kissed her, a deep and messy kiss.

“Ride me, y/n”. He said.

She grab his length, Steve on the other hand was way to focused of her breasts, she stroke him a couple of times, Steve was moaning and when she put him against her entrance he took a deep breath, feeling all of her, bitting his lip. She stayed static for a while, just kissing Steve.

“I’m gonna start moving”. Steve moved his head side to side. “Stay like this, just for a while”.

He cup her cheeks and kissed her, slowly, he smile.

“Move”. He said.

She started to move up and down, moaning at every move. Steve was a mess underneath her, helping her move her hips and slowly playing with her nipples, made dark marks in the valley of her breasts.

“Steve…” she breath out.

“I know, keep moving, I’m close too”.

The movement’s started to get erratic while the both started getting closer to their realese. Steve kissed her while he moved inside with deep trust, he and y/n kissed with eager, moaning in each other’s mouths.

“Fuck…” Steve said and kept pushing inside her to help her reach her high. Steve came inside her but she still moved trying to reach her own realese.

His hand reach between them and whit his tumb started to stimulate her clit and that send her over the edge. She moaned loud close to his ear and that sound could make him come right there again.

“I will never get enough of this, of you”.

“Steve, what are we doing is so fucking wrong. You have a girlfriend”. Steve nodded while he help her get up and dress.

“I know”. Steve looked at the floor.

“This is the last time, Steve”.

“Ok. Then, can we cuddle and watch a movie, for the last time?”. Steve asked and she nodded.

[end of flashback]

“I will leave her”. Steve said.

“Words, how little they mean when you are a little too late”. She said letting go of his embrace. “You need to leave. I only have tonight to pack up”.

“Don’t leave, please”. Steve was begging.

“Don’t do this. Please. I just can’t believe you don’t see how much this is hurting me. I’m picking up the pieces that you just leave there, and I hate the way I love you, and I hate that I still care”. Steve looked hurt. Truly hurt. Little tears on the corner of his eyes.

She closed the door, rested her body against the hard and cold wood, breaking in a million pieces.

[ 1 year after ]

“Three weeks!”. Steve screamed.

“She didn’t want to tell anyone, Steve. And I as her best friend decided to not say anything”. Dustin said proud.

“Henderson, c’mon. You know how much I missed her. Now that she’s back everything will be okay again”. Steve assured, more to himself than to Dustin.

“She’s inside”. Dustin moved aside to let him in.

“Oh. Thank you. You didn’t have to”. Her voice. Steve felt butterflies.

It was her, all along.

“Hi”. He said.

Y/n looked at him, still mesmerized by all of him, still with the feelings all over her, taking her. She got up from the table and walk towards him, Steve was frozen in place, waiting.

“I missed you, idiot”. Y/n said finally hugged him.

“I missed you too, beautiful”. Steve breath out.

“Dustin and I have to run some errands. Close when you finish and thank you for watching over Dustin and her friends”. Dustin’s mom said while she leaved.

“Babysitting?”. Steve asked.

“Yes. How you know I was here?”. She asked.

“Your mom told me. I can’t believe you been back for three weeks and you didn’t went to see me”. Steve said disappointed.

“In my defense I was still a bit angry about the way we left things, and I needed time”. She was looking at the floor.

“Now I’m hole again, since you been gone it’s like a piece of me was missing, y/n. I know we didn’t end up in good terms but I think this is all we have know, this moment, the longing. When you left I told her it was over”. Steve said the last words breathing weakly.

“I thought you should know I never wanted closure. All I wanted was you, I’m sorry for leaving”. Y/n was a bout to cry.

“You don’t have to be sorry, y/n. I’m sorry it took too long for me to realize how much I was in love with you”. Steve said and finally kissed her.

“Steve…”

“Uhm, yes?”. He said breaking the kiss.

“Maybe this time we go slow”. She said.

“Of course, so, first date at your favorite coffee place. Sounds good?”. He proposed.

“Yes, Steve”. She smiled.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Thanks for the support. 💛

[keldabika]

headcanon in two parts, sorry. Ask does not miss it. 1.1 Oh, you know the insecticons from the tfp? Can I have a headcanon where a S/O person is on friendly terms with insecticons?

[TF PRIME] S/O Is Friends With The Insecticons

———————————————————————

* [S/O] meets them by accident quite a bit before the events of the Energon Eaters. Arachnid is still “leader” of the Insecticons by technicality as the only available ‘Queen’ for the hive-mind, however she never really patrols the area or takes care of the hive as she should, rather choosing to wander as a free mind, disobeying orders from everybody.

* You had stumbled upon the hive while taking a short walk along the side of the Jasper highway, leading out of town and to an old coal mine you liked to inhabit on your days off work. A home-away-from-home of sorts, it brought you peace of mind to have a quiet place.

* At least you thought it was a quiet, desolate area until you broke through a thinning in the rock floor of the entry shaft and ended up crashing an Insecticon tea-party.

*It was a rather awkward fall, and it had injured your hip joint on the way down, leaving you temporarily paralyzed in throbbing pains and nerve damage.

* The giant bug-like robots and their shiny, metal wingspans immediately armed themselves and aimed at the shifting dust and rockfall, growling and chittering in a language of some sort, unknown to you.

* “Is it one of those ugly-faced Decepticons ploys again?”

* “It’s too small and squishy, much sooner to be a predacons’ chew toy than any weapon.”

* You looked super confused, absolutely stupefied, completely duped, utterly incomprehensible, awkwardly awed, amazingly idiotic, a-

* Their manner of speech and vocal patterns was practically lost on you. You could pick up remnants of a language similar to broken [language], but really nothing else. In an attempt to make contact with the metallic giants to gain help, you enabled your parroting capabilities.

* Humans have the stunning ability to mimic sounds and specific noise frequencies, at levels other earthen animals, especially mammals, cannot. Using this ability, you managed to copycat the grinding and chattering noises coming from the vocal mass of bug-bots.

* [S/O]: “¿Krrt-grrut vvurrr chechch?”

* Hardshell: “¿Buzzzz vert-tet-brrrz, Erreech?”

* [S/O]: “¿Erreech?”

* Hardshell: “¡VRREE BUZZZ-EECH CLICKLICKIK!”

* The contact went well, unbeknownst to you, and the successful communication meant that you might actually have a chance at escape, or finding a hospital!

* Congrats! You are now [Tiny Bug Child]! You have no idea what they were speaking about, unaware that they were contemplating how to execute you, but you successfully managed to evade death by being cute and cuddly! People say curiosity killed the cat, but it evidently saves the naive human-who-fell-into-an-insect-cult-meeting!

* Hardshell, the Insecticon you nearly landed on top of, begins to lift you out of the rubble, and place you down upon a makeshift stone table, partially destroyed by the collapse. The others—including Wingflap, Bombshell, Shrapnel, Blockhead, and Kickback—gather closely around you, cooing and chirping in their weird language again.

* This was, evidently, how you became the new Queen of the hive, though you didn’t know it, and managed to befriend your way through the entire enclosed community and worm into the spark of every Insecticon, though they were very few in number.

* You made easy friends with Bombshell, and remained close with him up until his untimely death by Bulkheads hammer fist. He would often lay atop the Jasper cliffside with you, and make out shapes in the clouds, constellations in the stars—regaling to you tales of the Old Cybertron, when his own kind weren’t so despised, and were respected as viable assets and allies amongst those with forms like and unlike their own—until the Autobot Elitists ensured they were seen as ugly and malformed, made to hide away in the shadows and step away from society for ‘the greater good’.

* It’s how you came to hate the Autobots—and Decepticons—for all they had done, to their planet and yours, and to your friends as well.

* Your mimicry slowly turned into actual speech patterns and recognition. Repetitive sound signals were a key portion of Archaic Insecticon speech, which made it easy to recognize simple words or phrases, each indicated by a set of whirs, clicks, or beeps.

* Now that you could actively communicate with most of the hive, it was far easier to make friends with even the hardiest of bots.

* Hardshell, of course, was tough to crack. At your constant insistance, he spoke with you once or twice, and made sure to acknowledge your presence when in the room, as well as save you a seat at the underground pub every other weekend. It wasn’t actually a pub per-say, rather a dugout chamber with smooth walls and some stone slabs insert for seating, where the cons enjoyed engex they could sneak off the Nemesis from time-to-time.

* After awhile, he warms up to you, welcoming you back to the hive every day after work, standing alongside his multiple siblings, and pushing others aside to get to hold you first.

* Meanwhile this all happens, they still don’t know what a human is. Their simple understanding of earth comes only from what they’ve seen on the highway from the cliffside, or from video footage of the Autobot pests on the Nemesis. Due to their bulky size and noisiness, they’re banned from most human-inhabited areas.

* Don’t doubt that some of them have attempted to follow their [S/O] home. They have. And some of them won’t stop trying. It’s been more than one awkward encounter between you and some teens to get them to realize they could get you in trouble.

* You all eat [dessert] together sometimes, made with energon supplements for ‘The Boys™️’, with some good ol’ 25-something-kg of sugar mixed in.

* The boys were worried when you didn’t show up for a week due to hospitalization via severe food poisoning medical coma.

* When Arachnid finally returned to Earth, and her fight against Arcee had proceeded about as well as expected, she located the hive and proceeded to force them to engage in business with Megatron. She believed that by implementing her own soldiers amongst the ranks, she’d be better equipped to backstab Megatron when the time came.

* She was undoubtably surprised when Hardshell and some others adamantly refused to take part in her plans at first, until she enforced their compliance through the hive-mind.

*When she learned of your existence, and the very gauge of your importance to her former hive, she came at you with full force.

*The Insecticons were fully unprepared to deal with a fight between their small [S/O] and an extremely angry ex-Queen. In refute, they returned you to the surface without so much as a goodbye, and begged you to escape before Arachnid scented you out.

* It was soon after these events that you learned of Breakdown’s death, Bulkhead’s coma, and Bombshell’s demise due to the combined effects of a substance called Tox-En and injuries sustained during his battle with Bulkhead. It broke you inside to learn there was nothing you could have done to help, but you refused to disobey their pleas to stay away for awhile.

* At the hive, Arachnid rules supreme. Being able to control the hive-mind was a feat a human was incapable of achieving, only Cybertronians able to easily access the imbedded chain of command.

* Hardshell mourned the loss of a true friend—a small, squishy human—but a friend nonetheless.

* Wingflap and Kickback went through a collection of memories you’d left behind with them. Pictures and small objects gifted over the years, a small treasure trove of important parts of their lives, now without you in them.

* Shrapnel stims a lot more now, and has nervous tics that he believes are the result of the loss of his dear friend. He knows you aren’t dead, least not yet, but he knows that you’ll likely never come back.

* Blockhead, as dumb as everybody thinks he is, is actually very emotionally intelligent. He has a way with words he barely understands, and [S/O] acted as a big support for someone like him. Without them now, he can no longer function like normal, and now has nobody left to talk to.

* Arachnid could care less. She absolutely despises [S/O], and would smite them for all she cares. You matter little to her, and only worry her for the loyalty and capacity of her troops.

* It isn’t until the Energon Eaters appear that everything turns completely south.

* [S/O] finally builds up enough courage to march themselves back down to the mine, and demand to meet Arachnid face-to-faceplate.

* The desert is hot, Nevada is hotter, and the trek down the highway seems endless and tedious. You pass by 5 interstate signs on your way to the hive, and count the steps it takes to reach the entrance, parched by the time you make it there.

* In all your sweaty glory, you, [S/O], make your way down the carved pathway into the mineshaft, dark and cramped—just as you left it.

* But everything is exactly as it was left, not an item out of place. The entire hive was empty, including of those you cared about. Their rooms are full of memories, and their energon cubes still lie in a corner, collecting dust and grime.

* The search seems profitable, yet it leaves you with nothing, and the emptiness of the hive echoes around you, and in all the chambers, through the cavern walls of every room.

* You know they’re gone, that they have left without you, and without so much as a simple passing note.

* Perhaps someday you’d find them, hiding away in another Jasper mine, but you never would.

* In their haze of a hive mind, they barely even remember the face of the human they left behind. A long line across the moon—stretching on for miles—and a vampire on a false throne, draining the lifeblood from their veins, and the image of [S/O] from their minds.

———————————————————————

✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

[kandyrezi]

Hi, I hope you're safe and healthy during this time. I was wondering if you would be willing to to do yandere headcanons for Wodahs from The Gray Garden.

[ ♡ / ♢ ] Yandere!Wodahs hcs;

(a/n: hey nonnie, everything is alright over here! o(*^▽^*)┛ i hope you're healthy as well. thank you for the request, i don't write wodahs that often, but i had fun with these regardless.)

- : - : - : - : - : - : -

(tw: emotional/physical abuse, slight hints of infantilism, head angel is kinda mean as hell)

» Wodahs would be a controlling and possessive type of yandere - these tendencies wouldn’t show until you’re at least partially past the phase of courtship, and it would be difficult to even notice something is wrong in the first place because there’s little that could break him from his impassive disposition, no matter who he’s with.

» It’s possible you resemble a certain someone (whom he was close with, or was in love with, even) who was drafted in the Great War (maybe an angel who was too good to be involved in that kind of violent conflict which shattered them, or a demon who, despite having claws made for brutality, there was an obvious fatigue and grief as burden to bear) and ended up being one of the fallen ones. Later reincarnated in the Gray World with its newfound peace. While he stopped having nightmares about the war a long time ago, he still thinks about the way things used to be from time to time.

» Aside from the occasional, passing polite greeting, there wasn’t much interaction between the two of you at first - even when he did find his gaze lingering on you longer than it should. He doesn’t know how much he really believes this, but maybe it was predestination to some extent. Despite the logical route, memory takes possession over his mind. He can’t let his darling go again. He cannot.

» Wodahs is caring in nature and looks out for those in need despite his aloof nature (in some cases with not altruistic intentions even if he reasons himself otherwise). If you’re residing at the Blancblack Castle, the majority of time spent with you is doing chores, and he makes sure you’re always within his line of sight.

» If you live in the village, he takes the time to come over to your house (teleportation ability comes handy in these moments) to cook you breakfast early in the morning, and dinner at the end of the day, staying with you until you fall asleep.

» He would prefer if you stayed in the castle with him though so he can keep a closer eye on you, and he’ll likely voice these thoughts at some point when the time is right.

» Despite all his kind gestures... Wodahs is no saint without secrets. Sometimes he would treat you as if you’re incapable of taking care of yourself, not because he actually believes this, but because he likes the control he has over you by dictating your entire schedule for you.

» That means things would little by little begin to change for the worse over time when you're together: he asks who you’ve been with, why didn’t you arrive back for dinner on time when he’d asked you to, orders you to go to bed early (you would gradually notice more and more locks on your door), saying you can’t have your favorite dessert before bed if you don’t behave.

» You have found yourself an incredibly strict and volatile yet composed head angel to 'care' for you; once he has you, he does not let you out of his suffocating grip - he wants to spend every second of his day with you... even if he does end up succumbing to his more darker instincts.

» Similarly to some other yanderes (for example, Ivlis and Reficul), the feelings of possessiveness would amplify if you had a demure and gentle personality, but his way of showing this would be… well, worse than the two aforementioned. There’s almost no freedom and he hovers over you constantly like an overprotective shadow (oh the irony). If you act out like a brat, then that just gives him another excuse to punish you for it.

» "Are you talking back again? ...I thought I corrected that already."

» He will inevitably get physical with you when that happens; choke you out if he becomes angry, pull your hair, roughly grab you by the elbow to drag you away while you're getting a scolding, might even haul you over his lap to spank you against your thighs.

» “You’ll be good for me... won’t you?”

» He wouldn’t feel remorseful if he made you cry (with words or through actions) after you willingly ignored his instructions or commands.

» But he wouldn't want his darling to stay upset, so he always makes you something sweet for comfort later on.

[corysmiles]

Could you believe I actually am back with some Runnaway Experiment WRITING??? :D

This takes place very early on in the story, and gives some more insight into Tommy's life before they escaped (in the comics). Enjoy :D

-------

The experiment was growing years after years, to everyone’s delight. It seemed the first laboratorial human had a decent enough lifespan so that it could be studied in the long run. And so, 14 years, it has been since T0M saw the light of day, and it acted in a similar fashion a 14 year old human would. .

Of course, the many researchers failed to take in consideration an alteration of the most cumbersome. T0M looked human, could understand the english language, followed orders and didn’t complain, asked some questions but the specimen…. was big.

Too big to fit in a human bed.

Too big to fit comfortably in a room.

It went in spurts, which was terrifying the first time. It kept on growing and growing, as scientists hoped it wouldn't take long for it to stop, otherwise, it might lead to a lot of problems. But for the past 2 years, no noticeable change really occurred, which was a relief when the thing was already 25 ft tall. It never seemed to be challenging personality wise, which was a relief, but they still needed to keep him in line.

Hopefully, the Doctor Soot, as well as Doctor Puff took part in daily check ups and made sure he didn’t rebel.

So, every 2 day, they took turns to visit T0M in the room accustomed to its needs.

And both’s reports were excellent! T0M learned more while being as obedient and compliant as ever. Phil couldn’t be more happy with those results.

However, as time went on…. Wilbur failed to mention another kind of teaching he had going on with the subject for the past months.

“And this is called ‘Sadness’.” He held an A3 size paper with a moody smiley drawn on it, the word being written below. “It’s that feeling when our sessions are over and I have to go and you say ‘oh noooo’ in that voice.”

T0M was sitting on his knees in front of him, paying the utmost attention to what Wilbur was showing and saying.

“I hate that one.” He pouted.

“I know,” Wilbur chuckled. “No one likes to feel sad. But it’s a part of life.”

A single hum. Wilbur’s smile turned more sympathetic.

“Do you remember the other ones?” He stood up from his place and put the sheet in one of the dark grey metallic drawers.

T0M nodded, excitedly. He took his hand and poked his fingers as he counted. “ there’s “Happiness”, it’s the good one. And “Disgust”, it’s when I have to eat the weird green stuff.”

“Brocoli”

“That. And then there’s excitement, it’s when I smile real big because you come early.”

Wilbur clapped “Wonderful!” T0M’s eyes were shining stars at every approval from Doctor Soot. Even though T0M’s enjoyment was very appreciated and contagious, but it could be a bit… much, to handle at times.

“Since you understand the basics, I think it’s time for us to start a whole new lesson.” He clapped.

T0M gasped and cheered from the top of his lungs “YEAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”, throwing his arms in the air and effectively making the room shake from the sheer volume of his voice. When he looked back at the scientist, his eyebrows were pinched and the brunette was covering his ears and curled up, almost in pain.

“...Doctor?” He brought his head close to the man who, after making eye contact, scrambled back until he hit the same drawer he put the papers in earlier. T0M looked at him confused, face still too big in Wilbur’s peripheral.

“I… Tom, I appreciate your enthusiasm when we do our lessons, but if you could prevent yourself from screaming, it would be nice.” He tried in the most gentle voice he could muster without it shaking.

“What’s screaming?” T0M asked, crouched so his face was almost on the ground at eye level with him. He brought a hand closer to the doctor who was still breathing heavily. When his head shot to look at the hand, his body on alert, he froze before saying.

“... Is it a moment when I can’t touch you?”

Wilbur’s eyes were locked on the now frozen hand for a good second before returning to T0M, nodding. “Uh, yeah.”

“... Okay.”

The hand retracted in the following seconds, and soon, he was back in his initial position.

The doctor thanked before regaining his composure. He looked back at T0M, and his expression held remorse. A guilt twisted Wilbur's guts at the view. Thing is, as T0M grew up, people quickly realised he was the equivalent of clingy. He would constantly grab people into hugs and had a hard time keeping his voice down which resulted in a large noise blocker investment. And so they had a rule. T0M couldn’t make any sort of physical contact with anyone without being given explicit permission first. Obviously, most workers considered T0M as a test subject and therefore, wouldn’t give him that pleasure.

Wilbur, though, was not in the same vein. Once he realised how empathic and emotional and human T0M was, he started teaching him things a human teen should need, and started giving him a sort of affection a human teen should have. Which included some sort of physical affection.

When T0M was sad, he would sit next to him or pat his back. It quickly evolved as Wilbur accepted being held by the boy and brought to eye level as long as he was careful when doing so, and ever later, they would hug and wilbur would try to brush his hair at times.

Still, that didn’t make him immune to any of T0M’s carelessness which’s consequences were amplified ten fold due to his scale.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked pitifully.

“I- no, it’s not your fault. It can just be a bit overwhelming is all.” Wilbur explained.

“... what does that mean?”

“It means… when something is ‘too much’. Like when you want to bring Techno very close, but he keeps reminding you about the rule.”

“Oh.” T0M let his head fall. “... I don’t like that.” Wilbur scratched his head. “I want to be so close and show that I’m very happy and it’s all inside and I can’t let it out.”

“Well, here, it’s a bit more of the opposite. When outside, there is a lot and you’re incapable of letting it in.”

“... I’m sorry Wilbur” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, I’m not angry.” reassured the brunette. “I just have sensitive ears.”

“...Everyone has sensitive ears.”

“Well, when you’re a small guy like me, you’re sensitive on pretty much all fronts.”

“... It’s not fair.”

“What’s that?” Wilbur perked.

“When I stop getting big and strong, I want to hug you with all of my will. Like you do with me. It feels nice. I want you to feel nice just like that. I want you to be overwhelmed with happiness. I want to hug you so, so bad but I can't and it's shit. I don't want to be strong, I hurt you if I’m strong. I want to hug you."

Tommy vented, more to himself, and when he looked at Wilbur, his eyes shined, not with joy.

"Oh Tommy…."

It ached. It ached Wilbur to his core that something as simple as a hug was something he craved and still couldn't get. Because he knew. He knew all of the things T0M was missing out on. All the life he could have lived if he was granted freedom. How much he could live and appreciate. It kept him awake at night.

But he was here. Trapped. In a room barely tall enough to contain him, treated like a circus monster. And the worst thing was, T0M wasn't aware of it. Of all the life he wasn't living. How his life was no life and how he thinks this absence of everything is what life should be.

Plato would probably laugh in his grave.

"I promise you. One day, you will be able to do that. I promise you that I'll find a way for you to hug me just like you are a small man too. I promise you that I'll make you discover all of those joys of life, Tom. I Promise you. I will help you. And I'm sorry for not being able to provide it sooner. And I'll apologize for all the years it took for me to get it."

They stared at each other, and Tommy nodded, throat tight and eyes wet.

"And a promise makes sure that it's gonna happen." T0M croaked.

"Exactly, tom." Wilbur smiled. "You are going to live many more things."

The bell rang, and both faces fell a bit.

"I'll see you in 4 days, Tom. We're gonna have a little recap over the emotions you learned and then I'll teach you about relationships."

"Oohh, that sounds nice! What is it?"

As Wilbur packed his little bag, he looked at T0M and simply replied "it's all around you. But I'm not gonna spoil the next session. On that note, I wish you a nice week, Tom."

"Have a nice week, Wilbur! " T0M waved with a smile. "It's nice talking to you."

"It is my absolute pleasure, Tom."

And thus, they parted. As Wilbur walked down the immense corridor (just tall enough Tom could run through them.) He wore a satisfied smile. His small steps resonated, the only sound in the room, yet peaceful enough for his ears to listen to them as carefully as silence. Halfway through, the sound was doubled.

"Helloooo."

"Oh, hey techno! How are you?"

"Doing fine. You seem very happy."

"I am. I made some good progress with T-he subject. I feel like he's learning well. The next tests should have fabulous results."

"Ahh, wonderful. Let's make sure it doesn't learn too much though." He joked.

And at that, Wilbur chuckled, his hand on the man's shoulder. "Oh don't you worry about that, my friend. I can assure you that'll never happen"

"Amazing" techno replied, deadpan. Both nodded their conversation away and walked the rest of their ways.

As he got further away, the doctor's smile turned to an amused grin. His steps resonated, so much smaller than what could be, in a corridor in which the boy just next door should walk through.

"Don't you worry about a single thing."

MEL YES I ADORE THIS AU SO MUCH ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

Poor Tommy but at least Wilbur is helping him :”]

[retrogradedreaming]

UHHHH maybe,, you could write a little thing for reki making the sk8 fam tea? and kaoru thinking hes gonna have to pretend he likes it but then "oh wait reki can actually make tea what-"

just bc this has been living in my head for awhile sdkljfs

(capt-snoozles)

It turns out I am completely incapable of writing ANYTHING short, so have a full one shot type thing, I guess. I hope it's okay that I kinda borrowed headcanons from you and @that-was-anticlimactic for Reki with TS at a couple of small moments in the fic?

----

It used to be Kaoru alone who visited Kojiro’s restaurant when it was closed on Mondays. But since the start of winter break, Sia la Luce had become much livelier now that Reki, Langa, and Miya weren’t in school all day, and Shadow came when his days off lined up right. If Kaoru were being honest, it took some time to get used to the space no longer being only his and Kojiro’s, but he’d grown to like how their group came together like this.

The afternoons were the quietest part of these days. Kojiro took these opportunities to try out new recipes on them, leaving everyone contentedly full and pleasantly sleepy. Today, Langa had actually fallen asleep in the booth, and Reki sat beside Kaoru at the counter, playing with a tiny skateboard and making soft sounds like a small motor. Shadow and Miya sat at a table across the room, arguing over whether clown or cat makeup looked cooler while Kojiro finished cleaning. Kaoru let himself sink into the lull, Reki’s noises and that of the skateboard wheels on the counter an almost comforting presence beside him. And yet, one thing was missing, keeping him from truly relaxing.

“Seems like a good afternoon for tea,” Kojiro said, as if reading his mind as he appeared out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “You want me to make some?”

“Absolutely not,” Kaoru scoffed. “People who microwave their tea should be arrested.”

“There’s no way you can tell the difference,” Kojiro said, defensive. “Hot water is hot water.”

“Only an uncultured pig would believe that,” Kaoru snapped. He was about to stand, to tell Kojiro he’d make the tea himself like he always inevitably had to, when Reki all but leaped from his seat, skateboard abandoned for the moment.

“I’ll make it!” he offered, and the way his face lit up meant that Kaoru took too long to say not to bother. By the time he’d found his words, Reki had already bounded around the counter and into the kitchen, and Kojiro didn’t even try to stop him. Before Kaoru could tell Kojiro to stop him, Reki called out to Kojiro, asking about the industrial stove, and soon, Kojiro was not only allowing Reki to make the tea, but encouraging him.

Kaoru supposed this was a step up from Kojiro’s microwave technique, but if Kaoru were likely to trust anyone other than himself to make a decent cup of tea, it wouldn’t be Reki. The idea that he’d wanted his tea made well and was unlikely to receive it as such set him on edge. As he listened to the water boil and the conversation continued around him, he found himself wrapping a strand of his hair around his finger and tugging, letting it go, and repeating the process until his scalp hurt. He didn’t even notice that Langa had woken up until he appeared beside Kaoru and spoke.

“What’s Reki doing?” he asked.

“Making tea,” Kaoru said, doing his best not to appear so anxious about something so small.

Langa peered over the edge of the counter to where Kojiro and Reki were talking in the kitchen, and then turned back to Kaoru. “I like how he makes it. I never liked it before I met him.”

Kaoru hummed a halfhearted response. He doubted that Langa’s standards were very high, given that he’d grown up in Canada. He’d likely had tea often enough, given that his mother was Japanese, but Kaoru knew from experience that plenty of people even here in Okinawa had no idea how to brew a proper cup. It was about timing, knowing how hot to make the water, how long to steep the leaves, and so many people rushed the process—or worse, forgot about it and steeped too long—that Kaoru preferred to make his own.

He couldn’t help but envision Reki handing him a bitter cup, or one that tasted like little more than hot leaf juice. He grimaced at the idea of having to drink it and pretend he liked it, suffering all the while. He would have to wait until he was home later to make something better for himself.

He was still trying to think of a polite way to decline the tea he’d obviously wanted when Reki came out bearing a tray of steaming cups and began making the rounds through the restaurant. Reki handed the first one to Langa, who accepted it, smiling softly up at Reki. Langa sipped the tea immediately, only to flinch and draw it away after the first sip.

Not promising, Kaoru thought. If he’d boiled the water, it was ruined, even if it was something as simple as green tea. And yet, Langa only took another sip while Reki looked on approvingly.

“It’s good,” Langa finally proclaimed, and Reki glowed as if he’d received praise from the emperor himself. Reki moved on, handing Kaoru his cup.

“Thank you,” Kaoru said, accepting it with both hands. Fortunately, Reki moved on to Shadow and Miya without waiting for Kaoru to try it, which meant that he didn’t know Kaoru only held onto it without making a move to taste it. If nothing else, he could enjoy the warmth that crawled from his fingertips all the way to his elbows.

Neither Miya nor Shadow hesitated in drinking theirs, though Kaoru couldn’t imagine they cared much how it tasted, as long as it was hot. And yet, as he watched, the two of them looked just as pleased as Langa when they tried it.

“Oh wow, the slime makes good tea,” Miya pronounced, hugging the cup close to him like a space heater.

“Damn, this is pretty good,” Shadow said, drinking deeply and draining half the cup. “How’d you even learn to make it like this?”

Reki shrugged, taking up his own cup, the last on the tray. He set the tray down on the counter and took the empty seat beside Langa. “I dunno, I guess I just picked it up over the years. It’s kinda like making skateboards, y’know? You have to figure out how all the parts fit together, and if you do it wrong, the tea doesn’t taste right.”

Kaoru looked up at him from the murky depths of his tea, brows raised. When it came to making tea, the analogy was rather profound, and Kaoru couldn’t argue it. Reki was right—tea was about the sum of its parts, the pieces fitting together perfectly. And as with building skateboards, the person making it had to know exactly how to combine each piece to create the whole.

“That doesn’t make any sense, but whatever,” Shadow said, taking another sip. “All I care about is that it doesn’t suck.”

“How come you’ve never made us tea before?” Miya asked, eyes trained on the Switch he’d pulled from his pocket now that he’d abandoned his conversation with Shadow.

“I don’t really have the patience for it,” Reki said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s kinda like, if I don’t wanna put in the time to do it right, why bother?”

While everyone was wrapped up in conversation, Kaoru finally chanced a discreet sip. If it was as bad as he’d expected, he could school his expression appropriately while they were all distracted. Perhaps he could even get away without having to lie about how good it was. And yet, when the tea touched his tongue, he paused.

It wasn’t too hot.

It wasn’t too weak or too strong.

It wasn’t too bitter and the leaves didn’t taste as though they’d been burnt.

It was, as far as Kaoru was concerned, some of the best tea he’d had outside his own home. For a moment, he couldn’t find the words to say so. He sipped it again, just to make sure he hadn’t deluded himself based on everyone else’s praise. Sure enough, it was almost more delicious the second time.

“You surprised?” Kojiro murmured at his ear, his own cup dangling from his fingertips. Kaoru jumped, nearly spilling his tea. When he turned to face him, Kojiro’s lips quirked in a smug grin, and he raised one brow meaningfully. Kaoru shot him a hard glower in return, a silent command to keep his mouth shut before Kaoru turned back to Reki.

“It’s delicious,” Kaoru said, and it wasn’t forced in the least. “I’m impressed.”

Reki, who had already immersed himself in talking to Langa, gaped at Kaoru, one of his hoodie strings falling from between his teeth. Then, he flashed a wide grin. “Glad you like it!”

“Have you ever practiced tea ceremony?” Kaoru asked, reluctantly setting his tea down on the counter.

“Nah, my parents let me try it once when I was younger, but I kept messing up the steps,” Reki said. “It’s not really fun when people get mad at you for doing it wrong.”

“I studied it for some time,” Kaoru said, remembering how the order felt comforting, how the amount of concentration it required gave his anxious mind something to focus on, how the simple yet refined aesthetic felt like clearing his head. In recent years, he didn’t have time for it with his calligraphy business, but a part of him missed it. “It’s quite a bit different from drinking tea like this, but if you wanted to, perhaps we could do a...modified version of it. Something less formal with everyone here.”

Reki’s eyes brightened, and he looked to Langa, who only seemed to share his enthusiasm. “It sounds fun, yeah! A lot better than getting yelled at by a bunch of old people because ‘tradition.’”

“I’d say so,” Kaoru said, and they devolved into talking about their favorite teas and the best ways to brew them. Kaoru couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to someone who actually understood that tea was an art even more than it was a drink. But Reki did, and when the rest of the group finally left, leaving Kaoru and Kojiro alone in the restaurant to clean up, Kojiro nudged him with an elbow.

“You didn’t think Reki could make tea like that, did you?” he said, the words teasing but too close to Kaoru’s own thoughts for comfort.

“Shut up or I’ll leave you here to wash dishes alone,” Kaoru quipped, even as he accepted the next cup to dry. “I will admit, I was pleasantly surprised.”

“I knew you would be,” Kojiro said as he dried his hands and stretched.

“Anything is better than microwaved tea,” Kaoru said. And although it was true, he couldn’t help but look forward to the next Monday, and the last before the kids started school again.

[jilyyall]

Everything Has Changed

One evening on the shore of the Black Lake as they bathed in the orange glow of the setting sun, everything changed. Or, the first ‘I love you.’

They hadn’t been officially dating very long, but they’d shared a few snogs before they started dating – if just about every day since the beginning of the school year counted as a few snogs –  and they had been open and frank about their feelings for each other for weeks before they’d made it official, and she’d known him since they were eleven, so when James was silent all day, Lily knew something was on his mind. She didn’t think he was upset with her; it wasn’t an angry silence. It wasn’t as if he was trying to hurt her feelings or punish her by not speaking to her. That wasn’t something that James would do – it was what Sev would have done, back when they were friends and he thought she had done something wrong and was trying to guilt her into apologizing to him.

Rather, she got the distinct impression that he was wrestling with something in his mind, taking his time mulling it over. It was so rare that he took the time to think things through rather than diving in head first that she let him have the day, the whole damn day, even though it drove her mad. She would even let him have the night, if she thought he still needed it. Tomorrow, however, all bets were off. Her boy was going to get this off his chest, whatever this was.

They were in the Great Hall having dinner quite early tonight, their two separate friend groups sitting near each other, but not entirely together – James sat on Lily’s right, and his friends sat to his right with only Sirius sitting across the table from Remus, two bodies down from James. On Lily’s left sat her friends Mary and Dorcas. The only indication that the two groups were at all connected was how close Lily and James were sitting, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, knees knocking, feet tangled beneath the table, even as they turned their heads away from each other to focus on their respective friends.

If he were physically distant, she thought, then she would have worried because anyone who knew anything about James Potter knew that he could not keep his distance from the people he cared about. Be it an arm slung over a mate’s shoulders, fingers threaded with hers or carding through her hair or dancing down her arm or brushing down her side, or the simple disregard for personal space, the boy was incapable of not showing physical affection. She doubted the idea of not touching her or Sirius or Remus or Peter at any given time ever even crossed his mind.

Not ten minutes ago, for instance, he’d walked in with his mates, a dejected Peter tucked under his arm, spotted her seated at the table and sat all but on top of her with nothing more than a graze of his lips to the side of her head in greeting as he continued to devote his sympathetic attention to Peter’s woeful tale of rejection. He’d even had to pull his place setting over in order to maintain his proximity to her. So, no, she didn’t have cause to worry that he was upset with her, or contemplating ditching her or anything of the sort.

Still, she was having a difficult time concentrating on Mary’s story about the Muggle boy her mum wanted to set her up with back home. Instead, she was wondering what exactly could be taking up so much space in James’s head. Currently, she knew, it was Peter’s heartbreak. She tried not to be very obvious as she studied him; none of the boys were paying her any attention. She could hear James’s soft, earnest, comforting tone as he spoke to Peter, told him not to worry about Melinda Sprockett, the pretty sixth year Ravenclaw girl who must have turned him down earlier. It should have comforted her to know that James wasn’t being quiet with everyone. It only made her more concerned that he seemed to be holding something back from her.

“Right, Lily?” Mary said loudly.

Lily snapped her gaze to her friends, embarrassed to have been caught not paying attention. “Er, yeah, of course!”

“I told you she wasn’t listening,” Dorcas giggled as Mary rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I was!” Lily insisted, but she knew she was arguing in vain. She had been caught out, but she wasn’t going to just admit it.

Dorcas wanted to drag it out - Lily could tell by the smirk on her face and the mischief in her eyes - but Mary, sweet, sweet Mary, took pity on her. “I was saying it might not be such a bad thing, you know? There’s obviously nothing wrong with Muggles on the whole - I am Muggleborn; it would just be stressful trying to keep magic a secret.” 

“But do you even want to date him?” Lily asked. 

Mary shrugged. “Well, he’s cute enough, I guess. But I don’t even know anything about him.” 

“Well, it may not be a terrible thing to just have some fun getting to know him; then you can decide if he’s worth potentially breaking the Statute of Secrecy for,” Dorcas said around a mouthful of Yorkshire Pudding. 

“Certainly it’s not really breaking the Statute of Secrecy?” Mary said, looking shocked at the thought. “If you fall in love with a Muggle, there’s got to be some sort of bylaw that says you’re allowed to tell them. Just like the Ministry told our parents about it when we got our Hogwarts letters.” 

Mary looked at Lily as if expecting her to argue with her or confirm that surely it wasn’t illegal, but Lily simply didn’t know. She’d never dated a Muggle.

“You’re probably right,” Dorcas hummed and lifted a shoulder. “I really don’t know much about it, honestly.” 

James’s fingers tangled gently in Lily’s hair and she glanced over at him, distracted, expecting it to have been an unconscious thing he did while still deeply invested in his own mates. She was surprised to find him staring at her, eyes soft and warm and glowing with something akin to awe behind his glasses. There was a small, fond smile on his lips as he let his hand fall from her hair to twine his fingers with hers. 

“D’you want to go for a walk?” he murmured. 

“Sure,” she said, and was about to stand and eagerly lead him away when she noticed the plate in front of him. Before she could say anything else, he was standing and gently pulling her to her feet. “But you’ve hardly touched your dinner.”

He shrugged and began to lead her towards the wide doorway.

Their friends watched them go without a word. Despite the fact that they had both been at least somewhat involved in conversation, there were no protests from either the boys or the girls. Though she hadn’t said anything, she knew the girls were aware that something was on her mind and she suspected that the boys knew much more than she did about what was going on with James.

“I’m not hungry,” he told her.

“What?” Lily couldn’t honestly remember a time James had turned down food when he wasn’t deathly ill or on the brink of collapsing from sheer exhaustion. 

As if reading her mind, he gave her a look as they reached the Entrance Hall and headed out onto the grounds. “I’ll go to the kitchens if I get hungry later. It’s not a big deal.”

Lily let it go, but she still found it rather odd until she noticed how jittery he was. James was never one to sit still, was in constant motion be it a bouncing leg in class or long slender fingers tapping the desk during Prefects’ meetings. But this was a bit more than usual, she thought to herself as she watched him drag his hand through his hair for the fifth time since they’d walked outside. His head was swiveling this way and that and Lily would have worried he was looking for a getaway were his hand not so steady and secure in hers. 

She realized as he gnawed on his bottom lip that he was nervous and despite the fact that she had been so convinced all day that he wasn’t planning on ditching her, ignoring the warm, fond look he’d given her just moments before, Lily suddenly felt herself growing paranoid. What in the world could possibly have James Potter feeling nervous around her? Unless he was planning to break up with her. Or had some other likewise bad news to share.

There weren’t very many people out; it was that time of year where it was beginning to get cold out and the sun was just starting to sink beneath the tree line of the Forbidden Forest so most of the student body was inside. 

James led her over towards the Black Lake, and Lily watched him closely as he cheerfully greeted Martin Greene, his fellow Gryffindor Chaser, who was on his way up from the greenhouses. He didn’t seem nervous as he promised to see the younger boy at their early morning practice the next day, but his hand immediately jumped to his hair when Martin was gone. 

“You’ve been quiet today,” Lily said softly, bumping her hip against his gently as they ambled along the shore of the lake. They had made about a half-circuit by the time she spoke. 

James hummed, and she saw him nod out of the corner of her eye. 

“A lot on your mind?” she asked. She had told herself he could have as much time to process his thoughts as he needed, but he’d invited her on this walk, hadn’t he? He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t want to talk to her. 

“Yeah, I guess.” He sighed, and his thumb stroked along the back of her hand. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to be pensive sometimes,” she assured him. Then that awful nagging worry struck again. What if she was reading all the signs wrong? What if his hand in hers wasn’t a sign that everything was fine after all? “As long as you’re not trying to ditch me.” 

She tried to make it sound like a joke, but she knew she failed when he halted in his tracks and pulled her around to face him. His eyes were wide behind his glasses and his jaw dropped as if nothing had ever shocked him more than that one suggestion.

“What?” he said, still gawking at her. Then, “What?”

“I was only joking,” she lied weakly.

Though his shock had done more to assuage her sudden worry than anything she imagined he might say, she still felt oddly vulnerable. Ever since she had accepted her feelings for him at the end of Sixth Year, she wasn’t used to feeling off-kilter around him. Even before they were officially dating, when they were in that odd will-they won’t-they limbo, she hadn’t felt nearly so uncertain than in that moment.

When she tried to turn away to keep things light, he held her there by the hand, once more turning her to face him. His free hand lifted, stroking her face, cupping her cheek as he stepped closer and peered down at her, that same awed look as before mixing with the confusion. 

“Lily,” he breathed, then shook his head as a bemused smile played on his lips. “Honestly, that’s the farthest thing from my mind. That’s the last thing I would ever do.”

She didn’t try to convince him she was joking, not again, not knowing that he could see right through her. Instead she bit her lip and tried to duck her head, but his nimble fingers on her cheeks kept her eyes on his. She felt her face flush, and she sighed. 

“I’m mad for you, Lily,” he mumbled, and brushed his lips gently over hers. 

“I feel the same about you,” she whispered, but she realized quite suddenly that maybe it was a bit more than that, actually. Maybe she a bit more than fancied the boy before her, judging by the way his silence had nagged at her all day until it had her on the edge of panic, fearing the worst even though she knew, logically, that her fear was unfounded. 

And since when had being single again been the worst possible outcome her brain could conjure? It had only been a few weeks and already she couldn’t imagine her life without James Potter taking up so much space in it. 

He smiled at her soft admission and then let go of her hand to bury both of his in her thick auburn hair. He kissed her, gently again, but much more solidly than a mere brush of his lips to hers. His mouth fit perfectly over hers, moving overs once, twice, thrice, before he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. 

A piercing wolf-whistle broke them apart after what may have been several minutes and they looked across the lake towards the castle to find their friends, his blokes and her girls, gathered near what was widely considered the best tree due to its full foliage and location mere steps from the shore of the lake. It was fairly obvious who had made the obtrusive sound as Dorcas was currently hitting Sirius’s arm none-too-gently. 

Lily looked up at James, surprised to find him looking somewhat disappointed by the arrival of their friends. She couldn’t recall ever seeing him anything less than thrilled to be reunited with his boys regardless of how brief their separation. 

“Shall we?” she asked when he met her gaze. 

He sighed, and his hands trailed slowly down her arms until their fingers were linked once more. “I suppose.” 

They continued on their course, not bothering to speed up despite Sirius’s distant and persistent urging. James tugged her to a halt again just as they were about to round the last little curve of the shoreline, mere meters from their friends. 

She peered up at him, mesmerized by the way the orange glow of the setting sun bathed him. He looked unreal; he looked perfect; he looked like a figment of her wildest dreams.

“I am sorry for worrying you today,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to be distant. I was just… thinking about something.” 

“It’s okay,” she told him again. “I didn’t actually think you were going to ditch me all day. I don’t know why I suddenly got afraid of that.” 

He smiled at her, and there was a slightly manic look to the way his lips curved up. “It’s just that… I got myself all worked up and nervous over it.” 

She laughed at him because, well, she’d already realized that, hadn’t she? Almost as soon as they’d left the Great Hall he’d made it obvious how nervous he was. As he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her just a little bit closer, his expression dead serious, she suddenly realized why he was so nervous. And it was so obvious as well, wasn’t it? Hadn’t she all but come to the conclusion for herself mere moments before? Her breath hitched as he opened his mouth. 

Suddenly, the wild Gryffindor in her wanted nothing more than to beat him to the punch. The softer, more caring part of her recognized that he had been struggling to work himself up to this all day and she had only had a few minutes of the realization, and she couldn’t take that from him. So, she smiled up at him and waited. 

He was quiet for another second, then took a deep breath, and on a sharp exhale said, “I love you.”

Though she knew it was coming, the declaration made her heart sing and a little relieved giggle passed unbidden from her lips. Lily beamed up at him and it wasn’t until she registered the lingering anxiety in his eyes that she realized he was waiting for a response. 

“I love you too, you idiot,” she said with a fond shake of her head. “I can’t believe you’ve spent a whole day stressing about saying three little words to me when it’s so obvious how I’d respond.”

“I’ve fancied this girl for four years and finally got her to date me and she thinks I want to break up with her,” he shot back, but he was grinning now, a mischievous teasing glint in his eyes. “Honestly, and all these years I thought you were clever.” 

She rolled her eyes and he shook his head at her, splitting grin still in full effect, before he slid his arms around her waist, pulled her to him, and lifted her off her feet to swing her around in the air. Lily wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and threw her head back, laughing freely as he made her dizzy with all his spinning. 

“I love you,” he said again as he finally set her feet back on the ground. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

“You know it doesn’t make it any more meaningful if you repeat it incessantly,” she teased, but he clearly wasn’t bothered as he lowered his head, his mouth covering hers completely, hands leisurely trailing up her body until one rested tenderly on the side of her neck and the other cupped her cheek. 

He jerked away from her as a stream of water from the lake suddenly shot out and struck him in the side of the head, magically missing her by inches. They both whipped around to see their friends all laughing at them, Sirius’s wand hanging limp in his hand at his side as he was all but doubled over. 

James took several hurried steps away from her, clearly intent on retaliation, before he turned around again, kissed her quickly and with a flash of a grin, and repeated, “I love you.” 

Then he was gone, and was nothing more than a tangle of limbs as he wrestled Sirius to the ground Muggle-style. Remus and Peter stood close by, laughing, as Mary and Dorcas retreated hurriedly to avoid falling casualty to the boys’ roughhousing. They stopped in front of Lily and all three of them watched warily as James and Sirius rolled into Remus’s legs, causing the poor boy to fall on top of them as Peter dashed a few steps back. 

“Boys,” Dorcas said, shaking her head as she watched Remus, usually the most composed of the lot, laugh and throw himself wholeheartedly into the pile of wrestling limbs. 

“So immature,” Mary agreed with a little dismissive sniff.

But Lily couldn’t stop smiling as she watched James play with his mates like children. “Still love ‘em, though.”

[silversatoru]

the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

[hes-writer]

Reign (3)

Summary: harry sees something he's supposed to have

Warnings:  angst in the beginning, angst in the middle, angst near the end

Word Count: 4881 words

A/N: @devilinbetweenthesheet-s : dont cheat and don’t do drugs, kids

Tarnish (1)  .  Halo (2)  . Reign (3) . Trial (4) .

Errors (5) . Ruin (6) . Crumble (7)

Error Taglist

____

A writer that cannot write is dead.

When one loses the ability to tell their stories and anecdotes through the mere action of swirling words together to create an imaginable atmosphere of real-world fantasy; they are dead. A writer recovering from the mundane and mediocre way of penning experiences to bounce back into what they used to be is difficult. It is easier to free fall and drown in the depths of despair. The moment thoughts and rumination fog up to form a blurry image of conviction is a warning sign, blaring at the back of their minds and sometimes even in their faces.

Harry is a writer--or, he was. Picking up the pen to style the words lingering in his head used to be as easy as blinking; quick and natural. Now, the words claw at the swell of his throat, trying to spit an adjective to describe the way he felt. It was at the tip of his tongue, waiting to be lathed into existence. It did not matter if his cognition was mingled with various chemicals aimed to be able to feel happiness.

He was sober but he had trouble placing his finger on why it was so strenuous to narrate his feelings throughout the breakup. Being high or drunk was never the answer for him. Weed made him tired and made him have a case of cottonmouth. Harry learned from a young age that he should only ever engage with alcohol if he was in a mindset and setting that catered to increase existing good vibes. He thought that maybe he was in an odd phase of perceiving the opposite, and so he intoxicated himself enough to understand that it didn’t matter if he was soaked head-to-toe in sobriety or whizzed out of his mind by the amber liquid swirling in the glass in his hand. But that wasn’t the circumstance. It also didn’t matter if he was grasping his favourite pen to write--because it was comfortable--or tapping his calloused thumbs against his phone keypad. Hell, it didn’t make a difference when he sat down and prepared his typewriter to indulge in a headspace of vintage songwriting. Maybe that would help.

It didn’t.

He had stories to tell. Everything was laid out in misty overcast yet Harry’s great ideas morphed into gentle mistakes, harsh mistakes and discoveries that had him almost ripping his hair out of the roots of his scalp. When he felt the wave of his ocean-thoughts rise and peek where the sand shifted, his fingers were ready to move and discern for the eyes to see. But with each fritter, he couldn’t seem to get even two paragraphs in to decide that it was utter shit.

Harry was old enough to understand that slumping on the wet sand was a part of life. Sometimes picking up a fistful of grains and throwing them back to the sea was a great way to release frustration. But it seemed like this plunge of his ability to write was a hole of quicksand. He was trying his hardest to displace himself as swiftly as possible but it only made his scenario worse. The muddy sand clung unto his legs like sticky glue, heftier with each effort to leave. He wanted to move on. He wanted to forget everything that occurred in the past four years. Harry wanted to erase Y/N from his life because she wasn’t around anymore to bring those memories back to sparkly existence.

What he needed to do was nestle himself into a certain depth, calmly, in order to pull a limb out and ensure that his progress on the so-called ‘moving on’ did not have any drawbacks. Until then, he cannot possibly create songs that he was well-known for if he wasn’t patient enough.

He wanted so badly to tell his side of the story. Harry craved to think as clearly as he did when he told Y/N about his plan for their future. Admitting to his feelings was a hard route. Sure, he can be vulnerable but it took a great deal of convincing on his part to immerse himself in the deepest parts of his brain to understand why he felt the way he did. He usually had the means of songwriting to help him out but that obviously wasn’t working out that good for him.

___

Harry was packing the rest of Y/N’s things in boxes to be picked up later in the afternoon. He was annoyed at first at how she depended on him to fold her clothes properly instead of doing the bundle of the work herself. But he guessed that she didn’t want to be around him for longer than she had to. To be frank, he also did not want to indulge in what might turn into an argument if they spoke about the reason for their breakup. It was just a bit confusing because he had an urge to still want her around despite their less than likely situation.

Torture. If Harry had one chance to describe the way he felt right now; it was torture. With every nook of Y/N’s side of the closet emptying into brown, cardboard boxes--he physically how much she had integrated her life with his. How much space she took up in his life. How his clothes and her clothes were so interchanged between them that he couldn’t decide if the gray pull-over was actually his or hers. And in a moment of selfishness did he tuck it away for his safe-keeping despite seeing the tag imprinted on the inside; a shop that he hadn’t set foot in so it was a guarantee that it was hers.

Her scent embedded in the thin threads of each fabric wafted to his nose; each with a new wave of memories engulfing his senses as if each piece garnered a specific scent tailored to a specific event. Like her sunflower sundress--it smelled of fresh flowers as if the print was a scratch and sniff that released a fragrance. Or their DIY-ed tie-dye shirt of pastel blue and cotton candy pink. It was a matching piece made out of the cheap dye and a simple white tee but it was theirs. Things like these made Harry want to yell in frustration because every time he thought that he was completely over her-- Y/N appears out of visibly nowhere and towers over him.

Seeing her for the first time in days was a breath of relief. She looked fine. Glowing even, and Harry did not know what to make of it. As sadistic as it sounded, he was expecting dry-stained tears and a birds’ nest of hair trampling her head. Instead, Y/N was dressed for comfort in her baggy jeans and an even looser sweater covering her body. Her lips were drawn in a thin line, giving him a nod in greeting as he gestured to the boxes littering the floor.

Harry offered to help--it was the least he could do. And somehow, silence protruded from the tense atmosphere, begging to be cut by a knife yielded through their voices nipping at each others’ emotions.

“Let go of my damn hand,” Y/N stated, her hard stare could turn Harry into stone. He just wanted her to listen before she left.

He shook his head in denial of her request, tightening his grip further. “No. Listen to me, Y/N,”

“What do you possibly have to say that will change anything between us?”

And maybe it was her fault for assuming that he wanted to fix things. The sliver of hope thinly dressed behind closed lids enabled her to think that maybe he was going to say that he wanted to make things work again. That he had broken up with Camille and he realized what a stupid he had done throwing away everything they built up to for the past four years for an affair that couldn’t quench the thirst of his desire to have a family.

Harry sighed, a shadow of mischievous smirk painted on his lips. But maybe it was Y/N’s sight in deception because she could never see Harry as anything other than sweet and kind Harry incapable of hurting a fly.

“What? I don’t intend to. We’re broken. We’re beyond fixing,”

The hitch in her breath was as sharp as the stare he was searing her with. Forcing her to please understand that this would be their last conversation--if time and fate were on their side. “You’re not something I would take the time to handle,”

“Stop saying shit you don’t mean, Harry” Y/N rolled her eyes in annoyance. His macho act was barely an act and more like a stage curtain easily pushed with a flick of a wrist.

“Things I don’t mean?”

“You heard me,” She crossed her arms over his chest in defence, leaning against the closed trunk. “Say what you will but our love was real. Don’t make me seem like I’m crazy. Don’t tell me that I’m a mistake,” Her voice was filled with confidence because she knew the affection that Harry diffused.

The cradles of his palm at the small of her back when they had to walk past a crowd. The subtle graze of the back of his fingers caressing the bare skin of her arm. Kisses pressed to her temple as she read a novel and swirling fingertips twirling her hair. These were acts of love that happened nearly every day in their relationship. A routine that felt different if it wasn’t done to or with each other.

Exasperatedly, Harry felt the same itching crawling up his spine. His ego ballooning into a delicate size and one more word from Y/N’s lush lips would have him on his hands and knees, begging for her back.

“This, us, was a fuckin’ mistake,” Harry’s accent thunked heavily in her cochlea, practically spitting the words out of his mouth as if they were poisonous. Ringed fingers gesticulated the space between them to emphasize how much of a misunderstanding they truly were. “I should’ve known the second things went further than planned,”

Y/N felt her heart drop to her full stomach. The feeling so nauseating that she instinctively palmed her belly over the fabric to protect her little baby from his harsh words. Even though they weren’t directed towards anyone but Y/N. She didn’t think that their unborn child deserved scrutiny from their own father.

“You don’t mean that, Harry.”

Because how could he? Not when he emulated sincerity through his syrupy voice. Not when he spent hours loving on her tummy and spoke to it like he would if she were pregnant. Especially not when every kiss from him felt like a buzz of electricity coursing through her veins because he was the main distributor of her happiness.

Harry truly was an asshole for making her hope and wonder of what the future held when he was unsure himself. He did want a family. That was a statement in all its truthfulness. What he wasn’t sure about was if he wanted a family with Y/N. He could have a family; kids of his own in his own time. But Y/N didn’t have to necessarily be the mother. So was he besotted with the concept of family and marriage regardless of who it was with?

“But I do,”

The rain started drizzling in frequent spurts, planting a fat droplet on her cheek that could be argued as a tear escaping Y/N’s eye. It hurt a lot to hear that from him. The man of her dreams blatantly denying each sugary word because his plans had changed.

“You’re a goddamn mistake is what you are,’

“Why are you. . .saying all these things to me? Are you trying to hurt me?” The shakiness of Y/N’s tone had Harry swallowing his words down his strep throat.

He shook his head in disagreement, “No, I’m not. ‘M just tryna make you see my side. So you can understand,” His head dipped to the side, softening his tone yet stern as though he was speaking to a child.

And that was one of the reasons why Y/N didn’t believe his all-too stoic demeanour about her. Harry was great at making others see his side regardless of how much in the wrong he was.

So why was he struggling?

___

Needless to say, he wasn’t very respectful towards Y/N any other time afterwards. He had unblocked her number months after blocking it at one point and demanded answers that he didn’t have the right to know. In retrospect, Harry was embarrassed by the way he acted. He did cheat on her and suddenly he was a saint because she moved on quicker than he thought she would? Unbelievable.

In his defence, the night he became the drunk caller was the same night he fought with Camille about having children; having a family they can call their own. Ever since that discussion did Harry notice a dispatch in their relationship. It was like they were aware of a missing link that had disappeared in their connection, but neither one of them wanted to be the one to bring it up. Harry supposed that now that Camille knew what he wanted (and vice versa)--she was feeling the pressure of giving in to him. Don’t get him wrong, Harry absolutely wanted a family and he thought that Camille was the right partner to build it with. However, he couldn’t help the voice at the back of his mind slyly whispering that he had forced her to give him what he wanted for the sake of saving their failing relationship.

___

It had been two and a half years since he mildly and miserably accepted that his dream family was being erased like a pencil on paper.

The first year; Harry still clung to the obscure hope that Camille might change her mind of having kids. Many fights sprouted between the two of them concluding in them sleeping at different places for weeks on end until they eventually crawled back to each other like an invisible string. The second-year; Harry brought up the idea of adoption. It was a hard choice for him as he desperately wanted kids of his own. A boy that looked like him and his love or a little girl that smiled at him with deep dimples mirroring his own.

And Harry liked to think that he was just on the edge of convincing Camille to consider the option when his tour was scheduled a few months after. A new dealbreaker was that Harry wasn’t going to be around much to watch and nurture the little bub they might’ve adopted. It was a sudden intrusion to think about since Harry was good with kids. He knew that. That was why he had three godchildren of his own. But what hit him the most was how sure Camille sounded when she yelled at him about leaving for months at a time and returning for a bit, only to leave again. Now, Harry hadn’t considered that part. But surely he will be ready to choose between a family and his career, right? When the time comes, he thought.

___

It pained Harry to admit that his relationship with Camille was dwindling down the drain. The knowledge that there was no future--the one that Harry envisioned--for them was getting more and more real each passing day. 

A late-night grocery trip was one of the many examples that had Harry rethinking his actions for the past couple of years. It was the time period where night owls arose and barely any customers littered the aisles. Still, Harry made sure to keep his hoodie up to shield his face.

Camille had an early flight to Milan in just a few hours later that day and she wanted to purchase some things to bring with her; in case they weren’t available in the country. So here they were at three in the morning.

As Camille walked ahead of him in her sweatpants and a plain tee, Harry couldn’t help but let his eyes flicker to the clothing section to his right The first-floor space was decorated with pastel blues and pinks; a stroller was displayed with a price would not make a dent in Harry’s bank account.

“‘M just gonna grab somethin’ over here, Cam,” Harry muttered as he pointed a thumb behind him. She nodded, “Meet me at the produce? Need to get you some fruits,”

Harry felt guilt thudding his chest because although he was losing feelings he thought were written in stone, Camille appeared to care for him the same way she always had.

He walked to the brightly lit area, puffing his cheek as a cute onesie caught his eye, “You’re so golden” with the word ‘golden’ printed in a shiny, yellow glimmer. He smiled at the thought of baby angel cooing at him as he tickled her tummy. Harry passed by the shoes next, picking up a pair barely the size of his palm. His mind flashed back to a conversation with Y/N years ago,

___

“I’m just saying,” Y/N took a bite of a pickle she held on her left hand, “Baby shoes have no business being that expensive,”

Harry chuckled from his place across the counter, “Babies need shoes too, love,’

She grabbed her fork and stabbed a piece of strawberry from her bowl, “I didn’t say the don’t need shoes. For tiny things, they could at least be a bit cheaper,”

Harry watched as she munched on a pickle on her left and took a bite of a strawberry on the other. His tongue poked out in a gag at the odd combination, resorting in glare and a huff from Y/N.

“You should try it instead of judging me,’

“No, thank you. Watching you eat it is enough for me,’

___

Harry craned his head at each aisle, hoping to find Camille and to distract himself from the endless Y/N related thoughts that somehow returned to his brain. He needed his girlfriend to remind him that he cannot just knock on Y/N’s door and ask her about the baby she has. If he could hold them for a bit because his baby fever was through the roof.

Locating the produce section, Harry whistled mindlessly as he searched for a blonde head of hair, failing to notice that there was a basket in front of his feet. He had kicked it, jolting him out of his thoughts in a hurry.

A man with brown hair sporting an outfit similar to his (sweats and a hoodie), chuckled at him as Harry leaned down to retrieve the gray basket filled with a jar of pickles.

“Sorry man,” Harry muttered, holding the handles up for the man to carry.

“It’s alright, it happens,” The guy had not seen his face yet, too busy inspecting the carton of strawberries.

He decided to continue the conversation, “Strawberries and pickles? Odd combo, huh,” Harry was briefly reminded of Y/N’s obsession with the two rival products.

“Yeah, m’lady loves ‘em. Had a craving in the middle of the night. She’s in the car right now with our lil bubba,”

Harry’s heart fluttered at the mention of a baby. He needed to get his rails in check. He cannot keep having his heart bursting with adoration at the mere mention of a baby.

“I’m Connor,” He said, finally facing Harry after choosing the best carton.

“I'm--,”

“Harry!” Both men turned their heads towards Camille carrying a basket full fruits and green veggies, “Got you some stuff to blend for your smoothies,”

Connor squinted his eyes at the couple and Harry internally screamed because he knew that he and Camille had been recognized. “Harry. Yeah, I know you,” The sudden hostility made Harry confused as Connor grasped his basket from him in a harsh manner, heading towards the checkout.

The rest of the time inside the store was filled with curiosities as Harry carried the paper bags towards the car, barely recognizing Connor’s figure heading towards his own vehicle. Luckily, Harry has parked only a few slots away and could inconspicuously watch Connor and his so-called ‘lady’.

Except, Camille was ushering him to hurry up as she still had a few things to pack at home.

___

On most days, Harry was used to waking up alone. Used to feeling the shiver crawling up his side, used to seeing the indent left by Camille’s body instead of her. He had grown familiar with the sudden cast of loneliness blanketing him thicker than the duvet on top of his body.

The early morning trip to the store had tired him out, paired with the overthinking of the man named ‘Connor’ that flipped his attitude towards him quicker than he could kick the grey basket with his feet. He flopped back to the mattress after washing his face and brushing his teeth. It was noon when he jolted out of bed again at the sound of his front door opening, voices filling the empty space that had Harry running towards the foyer in case there was an intruder.

His tense shoulders sagged in relief when he caught sight of his mum and Gemma, “Oh, s’just you guys,”

Both women looked up at him at the top of the stairs, “You forgot we were coming over for the weekend, didn’t you?” Gemma teased as she headed to the living room. Harry followed, walking down the stairs.

He scratched the nape of his neck nervously, “No. . . “

“Can you help me reach this, H?” Anne called out from the kitchen.

His mum gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Yes, you did, by the way. Slept through the whole morning. Good thing Camille let us in before she left,”

At the sound of a bag crumpling and squeals echoing the hollow house, Harry scrunched his nose in curiosity, briskly walking where Gemm was currently holding up tiny baby clothes in front of her. “Who’s that for?” He thought of any possible friends that had had a baby recently but couldn’t recall any.

She immediately stuffed the clothing into the bag, nervously placing a hand on her chest, “Gosh, Harry, you scared me,” Her brows went high on her forehead in alarm, sharing a look with her mum trailing behind Harry.

“Well? Did I miss something?”

“Oh, it’s for one of my friends,”

Harry contemplated on his next words, “D-did you know that Y/N had a baby?” It couldn’t be right if his sister and mum knew about his exes baby and not him, right? That’s just plain odd to still be in touch with an ex's family. His brows furrowed in suspicion as both of them declined his question.

“What? Nooo,”

Awkward silence filtered through the air as Anne sipped water from her mug and Harry was slowly putting the pieces together. Gemme dove to the centre of the couch where her phone was when it rang suddenly, surprising all three of them. Harry was quicker, eyeing his mum and sister and inspecting the emoji substituting as a name before sliding his thumb to answer it.

"Hey, Gems! Are you coming to the park? We're waiting for you,”

Harry felt his heart drop to his stomach just as the phone nearly slipped from his clutch. That voice. He could recognize it from everywhere having spent nearly every morning for the four years that they were together hearing it lulling him out of sleep. It was Y/N’s voice calling his sister who was looking extremely anxious.

He tapped on the ‘mute’ button, “What does she mean ‘we’?”

“Nothing! Give me my phone back,” Gemma tried to reach for the device but Harry held it high beyond her reach.

“I saw the picture you sent me. I told you that you and Anne didn’t have to get me anything,” Harry felt dizzy. “Connor and I got some things a few weeks ago. But that skirt is so adorable!”

One part of him was glad to hear her voice. In fact, Harry found himself smiling too, despite what he just heard. Connor. “Harry, won’t be there right? Hello? Have I been talking to myself this whole time,” Y/N laughed a little; she had a habit of talking endlessly when she was excited. It made Harry more sombre, letting his guards down and his arm in reach for Gemma to grasp.

“Hey! I'm just organizing the clothes, see you soon!" Gemma jammed her finger on the red end call, anxiously glancing at her brother, piecing everything together.

“Who's Connor?" Could it be that the Connor he met last night was the same as Y/N’s? The one who bought pickles and strawberries--one of Y/N favourite food combinations? He mentioned that he had a little girl and Y/N just called to meet his sister and his mum at the park. And baby clothes?

Anne and Gemma looked at each other, quickly deciding that for the benefit of Harry that they should tell him at least a little bit. He was looking as if he was going insane, especially with his bed head pointing his hair out in different directions.

“He’s Y/N’s partner”

Harry gulped, reeling his thoughts to a halt, “Partner? And the baby is...?” The last bit of confirmation was all he needed to lash his feelings out.

“Is... waiting for us at the park! Sorry H gotta go,” Gemma was swift enough to gather all the bags without having Harry chase after her. His state of confusion and shock was enough to render him partially speechless and immobile.

“Hey wait!”

Anne garnered his attention, “Oh, Mrs. Q from next door wants me over for dinner. I’m sure wants to see us both. Why don’t you get ready, Harry?” Anne tugged his arm in the direction of the staircase pushing him to stumble up a couple of steps.

Harry was confused. He made the sounds of his footsteps creeping up the wooden stairs, hearing his mum quietly talking to Gemma on the phone, “Elmsway Park, you said? How long till you're home? I’m not sure how long I can keep him occupied,”

With that being said, Harry was out of his house, silently unlocking and locking the door. He was dressed in some basketball shorts and a graphic tee, slipping on the first pair of sneakers he had tossed aside. Harry jogged to his car, typing in the name of the park on his phones’ GPS. The route was only a few minutes away so he decided to take his time, gathering his scattered thoughts along the way.

He parked just beside the playground scouting the trees around the premises. Harry decided that it was the perfect day. The sun was out. It wasn’t too humid and the birds were chirping on the branches. He could see why the playground was full of children running around in delight. The green patches of grass were partially filled with picnic blankets and food to be shared. Families laughed with each other as one in particular caught his eye.

It made him smile at first, seeing just how adorable the couple was with their baby. He exited the car, making sure to lock the vehicle. With his hands jammed deep in the pockets of his shorts, Harry could feel the tethered grass rubbing against his legs. As he got closer, he couldn’t help the twinge of familiarity spark in his chest, recognizing that what he was staring at was Connor playfully chasing a little girl of about two-years-old as she squealed at how close he was getting to tagging her.

Harry stood by a tree, shielding him away from view. He tried to appear invisible without seeming too creepy. He knew that it was only a matter of seconds before his eyes found the woman he had been missing, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Connor picked up the little girl in his arms, dotting pecks all over the girls’ cheeks, causing her to giggle and push his face away with a tiny palm. And there she was standing outside the raised platform of the playground, coming up to the both of them with a juice box in hand to hydrate the little angel. Connor turned his attention to Y/N, planting the most adoring kiss on her lips that made her smile so wide and the baby cover her eyes. They laughed together, looking like a picture-perfect family.

Gemma sat on the bench, flickering her gaze to the precious family in front of her and to the figure of her brother walking away from the scene. Her heart broke for Harry, and it cracked, even more, when he turned back. This time, watching Connor and Y/N cheer on baby angel to go down the slide. Both of them clapped their hands in enthusiasm as the girl hesitantly slid down the plastic slide. The smile on her face was infectious.

It almost made Harry smile, too.

___

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___

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[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  7.2

Author’s Note:  This is the longest chapter so far!! *ehe*  Can’t wait for all the comments on this one....

Xiao eyed the three Fatui agents that were in charge of escorting the two of you to Dottore's arena the next day.  You found it rather odd that Childe and Dottore didn't accompany them this time, but didn't question it until they sought to bring only you with them.

Is this a chance for Xiao to escape?  Your gaze flit to the yaksha behind you as the agents bound your wrists with metal cuffs.  Xiao seemed as confused as you were.  "Where are we going?" You asked in hopes that they'll take you far enough away to avoid Xiao's powers.  They didn't answer you and pushed you out of the hallway.

They stopped just short of the throne room, taking a right instead of heading for those giant unwelcoming doors.  When they opened the next door, you halted.  It seemed like it was meant for some sort of conference room, but lighting was a bit over-the-top with candle lights and such.  A delicious aroma rose steadily into the air from the exquisite food that sat on the table.

"You're an idiot if you think this will woo me," you snorted as the agents removed your cuffs and left the room.  "Let's skip the crap, Tartaglia, and tell me what the hell you think you're doing."

"Why so skeptical, ojou-chan?  I just thought you'd like something to eat."  Childe held a smug smirk that complimented the devious glint in his eyes.

"Uh, yeah no.  I'll be going back to my cell now."  You spun on your heel and grabbed the doorknob.

"If you insist, I could fetch Dottore and resume your testing for the day."  When your hand froze on the knob, his smile widened.  "That's what I thought.  Sit."

You sat as far away from him as physically possible, and it drew a light chuckle from his lips.  "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to check in with you."  Childe grabbed a fork with ease and began to dig into the meal.  "This kind of treatment could continue day after day if you chose to cooperate."

"Are you trying to butter me up with food?  Do you seriously not know me well enough to know this trick won't work on me?"

"I seem to recall that it worked if it was chocolate," a boyish glint sparkled in his eyes.

Your fist slammed on the table and your eyes began to glow from the agitation.  "If you're trying to pull that 'shark week' stunt again, I swear I will--"

"--'Impale me?'  Were those the words you were looking for?"

"Okay, if there is no point to this conversation other than to infuriate me, I'm leaving."

"Have you thought of what I said, ojou-chan?"  When you raised an unamused brow, he continued.  "You can make a life for yourself here.  I'm sure with your...unique abilities, you'd be able to climb the ranks and might even rise to harbinger status."

"I have no interest in becoming a harbinger."

"The point being, you could choose whatever path you want if you joined us."

"The last time I checked, the Childe I knew enjoyed watching me suffer.  Why is he going out of his way to recruit me?"

"I think it'd be much easier on all of us if you joined our ranks.  Besides, at least with us, you could find something greater in life than..."

"Than chasing the love of a yaksha? Is that what you were going to say?"  Your glare was as cold as ice.  "I have no interest in this conversation."

"Listen to you; you're beginning to sound just like him," he retorted.  "Hold off on your retorts for a moment, ojou-chan." He placed his utensils down.  "Tell me, what would your plans be if you escaped with him?"

"Like I would tell you," you sneered.

"You've just proved my point.  I can see right through you; you don't have any."  Childe leaned forward and set his chin on his hand.  He held a smile that was somewhere between teasing and cruel.  You weren't intimidated and continued to hold his gaze.  "Ojou-chan, I'll be honest.  You'll die one way or another if you managed to escape, whether that be at the hands of the Fatui, or at the doing of the yaksha.  As a matter of fact, we wouldn't be the ones to kill you; you're the one killing yourself.  Death by a broken heart sounds more agonizing than what awaits you with us."

"You're not getting in my head."

"I'm not?  Then why, ojou-chan, does internal conflict arise on your face when you look at him?"

"Maybe because I'm having a conversation with him in my head."  

"You know what I think?  I think deep down, you know I'm right.  Part of you hates me for it, but the rest of you agrees with me.  With us, you could have anything you want if you can take it.  Be it fame, fear, glory, power, money.  Even love could grow within the ranks if you so desired it."

"Is this some sort of weird courting ritual?"  You bit back, but despite the hostility you portrayed to Childe, you were beginning to falter.  "I don't care for any of that stuff."

"But what you want most is love, no?  The yaksha can't give it to you; he's incapable of it.  You can't deny that much."  Childe refrained from grinning ear-to-ear as he watched the internal turmoil reach your expression.  You had hidden your hands under the table, haven't blinked in the past two minutes, and kept shifting in your seat.  Oh, how he's gotten under your skin.  He loved watching you squirm.  "Don't misunderstand me, ojou-chan. I'm not trying to insinuate love between us; that ship has sailed.  I'm simply looking out for your wellbeing."

You gripped the butter knife that was sitting next to your plate, flipping it over as you thought of the possibility of being able to one-shot him from here.  His lips curled upward slightly as if he knew what you were thinking.  Then, you placed the utensil back down and let out a long irritated sigh.  "Your words are falling on deaf ears, Tartaglia.  I'm going back to my cell now."

On the contrary, I think you've heard me loud and clear, ojou-chan.

............................................

The second you were shoved back into your cell, the tears began to fall.  Xiao watched you for a moment before gesturing for you to sit next to him, but you ignored him and sat in the far corner of the room.  You had glanced up at him once, noticing the tears that were also falling from his cheeks and thinking he was actually crying.  When you remembered it was just a side effect and that the tears manifested involuntarily, you reburied your face in your knees.

"Are you okay?"  Xiao sat so he was facing you, but didn't come any closer to the walls.  He hastily wiped your tears away from his face.  What a nuisance.  Can't emotions manifest themselves in a more convenient way?

"Just peachy," you sniffled without raising your head.  

As if I could ever join the Fatui! He's diluted for thinking something so stupid, for thinking I'm anything like him!  You wanted to scream and punch the wall from how frustrated you were.  How dare he try and twist me around like that!  The tears continued to spill and soak into your jeans as helplessness and hatred washed over you like the tide.  Xiao, why...?

The yaksha perked up when he heard you.  "What?"  

Why can't I be free of human emotions, just as you are?  Why must I be burdened with them?

...................................................

Two more days passed, but the two of you were never taken to the arena.  Apparently the Tsaritsa had other temporary plans that required the presence of the harbingers for the time being.  So, when the time finally came for you and Xiao to be escorted out of the cell once again, you were surprised to see what looked like rookie guards instead of the usual seasoned agents.

Their rookie-ness was primarily given away by the fumbling of the keys before the cell door unlocked.  Then it was painfully obvious that these three guards were idiots by the way they swung the door open enough that it effectively gave Xiao an opening out of the sealed box.  The two of you exchanged shocked glances before Xiao bolted through the door, his lance manifesting in time to pierce through the first guard and pin him to the opposing wall outside the hallway.  

It was an outright slaughter.

Before you even had the chance to get to your feet, the yaksha was already retracting his polearm from the third guard's torso that lay on the floor.  The heavy metallic stench of blood made your stomach riot and you averted your eyes to keep the nausea under control.

"A-Are we really doing this?  Are we really making our escape?"  Your hands were shaking from the adrenaline as well as an emotion you recognized to be fear.

Zhongli...was it really a coincidence that I heard you last night, and now the guard schedules are mixed up?  Xiao furrowed his brows as his eyes danced over the bloody corpses.  "Let's move."

"Okay..."  You carefully avoided slipping on the soaked floor and followed Xiao.  He was surprisingly familiar with the hallways considering he had been blindfolded whenever he was outside the cell.  "How do you know this place so well?"

"Sight is not the only thing we are gifted," he answered as he peeked down a corridor.  "This way."

Several Fatui agents and skirmishers turned the corner as if they had been intentionally sent.  There was no way they could have heard the ruckus from up here.  Xiao waved a hand over his face, and his mask manifested with ease.  A demonic aura emanated around him, visibly blackening the immediate area around his body.  The new sight sent a chill down your spine.  "Stay out of my way."

You followed his order and ran back the way you came, using the corner as cover.  He first burst into the cryo skirmisher, who was practically first in line for a quick death.  The polearm sliced across his torso, then Xiao shoved it through his heart.  The second the blade was ripped out of flesh, geo and pyro skirmishers surrounded him.

"LAMENT!"  Xiao leapt into the air and dove into the ground with his spear.  The shockwave of his anemo burst sent spears of air ricocheting into the skirmishers.  They struggled to their feet after the devastating blow, and more Fatui agents filtered into the hallway.  Xiao performed another series of plunging attacks until no one but him was moving.  He jerked his head to the side and his mask evaporated.  "Come."

You didn't have time to drool over how hot that was--"Ah, wait, Xiao.  That's the throne room up ahead--"

If my intuition is correct...The yaksha burst through the doors despite your warning.

"Xiao--! H-huh?"  You ran after him only to run into his back.  You peeked over his shoulder to see why he stopped in his tracks.  "What's going on?"

No one was in the throne room save for the most important players of this story.  The Tsaritsa, who was standing in front of her throne; Childe, her beloved war hammer; Signora and Scaramouche, who stood off to the side as mere observers; Zhongli, with his arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury; and Aether, who held a firm look of determination.  The atmosphere was tense, even as they all turned their heads to the sound of the doors crashing open.

"I've massacred every last one of your agents," Xiao seethed at the cryo archon as the two of you approached the group.  "Our suffering is no longer."

"Xiao," Zhongli nodded, relief washing over him when he confirmed the two of you were okay.

"Thank the archons," Aether ran over and hugged you.  "I'm sorry we took so long."  He hid his surprise at how thin you were.

"You were saying, Morax?"  The Tsaritsa refocused everyone's attention, and you and Xiao stood at Zhongli's side.  The room seemed to inhabit a colder atmosphere than the first time you visited.  She could've cared less that you and Xiao killed her men.

"You've broken our contract," the archon clenched his jaw, but remained as composed as ever.  "Thou shall not interfere with Liyue or the adepti."

The Tsaritsa's gaze flicked to the two of you.  "Oh, is that so?  I told you I'd do anything necessary to accomplish my goal."

"Those who break the contract will suffer the wrath of the rock.  We have every nation on our side; the people of Teyvat are more than willing to wage war against you for your trespasses if you refuse to return the two of them."

"You think that's going to intimidate me?" The Tsaritsa let out a frigid chuckle at the thought.  "Oh, Morax.  You really are more brawn than brains.  Alright, I will return the yaksha to you."  She nudged her head at Xiao.

"And her."  Zhongli pointed to you.

"Ha!"  Another full laugh arose from the archon's lips.  "Have you already forgotten the terms of your own contract?  Liyue and adepti alone are to be untouched.  She is neither."

"You can't do that!"  Aether shouted, grabbing the hilt of his sword.

"Then I'm afraid we'll have to wage war because of your refusal."  Zhongli hardened his gaze as he continued to stare at the Tsaritsa.  You peered up at him only to realize that he was completely serious.

He wants to wage a world war for my sake?  You sent a nervous glance to Xiao, and he didn't appear to have a problem with his superior's proposition.  Neither did Aether.  Your wavering eyes came to a rest on an amused Childe, who stood across from you.  But...this bloodshed...would be my fault...

"Relax, Morax.  Her test trials are already over; we have what we need."  Your eyes lifted to the Tsaritsa.  "She won't be put through such harsh treatment again."

"Then why do you want to keep her?  Just let her go!"  Aether continued to glare daggers.  To watch his friend be taken away by a god just as Lumine had...he never wanted to feel the same pain again.  The walls appeared to close in on him as he watched the same events repeat before his very eyes.

"She'll be an excellent addition to our ranks.  I seek to recruit her; she will aid us in commencing trials for the hosts of the adeptal enhancements."  Xiao shifted so that you were mostly hidden behind him.  "She will be treated with great care as long as she cooperates."

"She will be part of no such thing," Xiao and Zhongli jinxed one another.

You couldn't pull your gaze away from Childe; it was like the two of you came to some sort of weird understanding of one another in this moment.  You were right, your eyes widened at him.  This bloodshed for my sake...I can't let them go through with this.

"You can't fight without your gnosis, Morax.  Your threats do not concern me."

I told you, ojou-chan.  Out there, you cannot live, the harbinger seemed to say with his eyes.

We'll be on the run if we took off right now.  We'll be hiding every day for the rest of our lives.  If the war actually happens instead of an escape, all these people will die for one measly girl.  Their blood will be on my hands, on Xiao's hands--And then there's the matter of my unrequited feelings...I can't deal with any of this--The world seemed to spin around you, and you grimaced at the feeling.

"So be it," Zhongli materialized his polearm.  Aether drew his sword.

Xiao tensed when he felt your despair and dread flow through him.  He glanced over his shoulder to gage your wellbeing and was still just as confused as he tried to pinpoint your thoughts.  

I can't...You gaze rose to meet your protector.  For both our sakes...

Childe's grin widened when you stepped forward.  "Stop this!"  Your high-pitched cry interrupted the rising arguments between Aether, Zhongli, and the Tsaritsa.  "All of you, stop!"  When all eyes turned to you, you took a deep breath to stop the tears from forming.  "I'll do it."

"WHAT?!"

"If she's willing to stay, your war is pointless," a thin smile spread across the cryo archon's lips.  Then she addressed you directly.  "A wise choice, young lady.  You will be treated well now that you are choosing to participate."

You spun around when Xiao gripped your upper arm.  "What do you think you're doing?"  His voice was hushed, but there was something fierce both in his gaze and his grip on you.  "There's no need to--"

Your arm left his grip, and you addressed Zhongli and Aether.  "I can't let you guys wage war on my behalf whether it's a bluff or not.  Whatever the outcome would be, it would end in thousands of pointless deaths.  I can't let you guys do this."

"But they'll kill you!"  Aether shook your shoulders, desperate to prevent another incident like his sister's.  "Don't you understand what's happening?!  You'll--"

"I'll be just fine on my own," you gave him a half-smile.  "It's not like I'll be able to live peacefully if I escaped anyway.  They'd always be on our tail.  We'd never escape the danger of the Fatui."  Xiao glared at Childe when he heard the regurgitation of the harbinger's words.

"...Are you sure you want this?"  Zhongli observed you carefully.  "Once you join the Fatui, there will be no escape."

"If it's to protect everyone, if it's to protect the three of you, I'm sure."  You weren't aware of the tears that stained your face.  You then turned your attention to Xiao, who stood back.  "Listen, I-"

"I don't agree with this," he said plainly.  "I told you there was no need to sacrifice yourself for anyone's sake.  I told you to trust in us."

"Xiao."  You threw your arms around him, feeling him flinch under your sudden touch before hesitantly placing his hands at your sides.  I can't stand around and let innocents get hurt, just as you can't do the same.  His eyes widened as he quietly listened to your prayer.  You pulled away slightly and brushed his bangs out of his face, hand cupping his cheek.  A few of your tears were falling from his eyes as he looked into yours.  You brought your forehead to his, intent on holding him for as long as he'd let you.  You may never understand this, and that's okay, but I love you.

Xiao's breath caught in his throat and his grip around you tightened.  His eyes wavered immensely, releasing more tears as he replayed your prayer in his mind.  Only, a couple of those tears didn't belong to you; they were his own.  "What're you..."

"Heh, you have no idea how hard it was to say that," you forced a laugh as more tears dripped down your cheeks, and you tore away from him completely.

Aether watched the two of you with utter confusion, while Zhongli observed you intently.  It appears she has admitted her feelings.  Xiao, will you follow suite?  His gaze flicked expectantly  to the yaksha, who was more than distraught and traumatized by the entire situation.

You didn't wait nor expect a reply.  "I will aid you," you spun around and addressed the Tsaritsa, "but it will be under my terms.  These three are to stay out of whatever you're scheming.  Not a single hair on the tops of their heads is to be harmed."

"You have my word." The Tsaritsa thought it was adorable at how hard-headed you were.  It reminded her of Childe, and also that of an ant.  Such a small insignificant being that thought it held a significant place in this world.  Absolutely adorable.

"You guys should leave," you lowered your voice as you turned back to the trio of your apparently-not-needed rescuers.  "I'm sorry I've caused you all this trouble.  Please know traveling with you three meant the world to me."  The tears continued to fall even though you failed to acknowledge their presence.

"You're serious about this," Aether bit his lip to prevent himself from crying.  "But your Granny...the village...the Lantern Rite--"

"I'll come back one day.  That's a promise," your eyes met Xiao's.  I swear to Rex Lapis, I will return.

The Tsaritsa watched you return to her after seeing your friends off.  A disturbing smile spread across her lips as you forced yourself to kneel at her feet.  "I believe you've earned this back."  She held her hand out to reveal your vision, to which you slowly took it into your hands and stared at it with vacant eyes.

You felt nothing as you attached it to your belt loop.

[lucyintheskywithxanax]

I Had To Know Pain Before I Could Be Comforted

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Fem Reader

Requested by @steveyouarelate : “37 (Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.) and 50 (I’m sorry I’m not enough for you) (with an happy ending, please) with billie dean x reader”

A/N: there’s a lot of crying and wallowing in self-pity in this one, you’ve been warned. I wanted it to have a tragic ending but you asked for happy, so here you go. I hope you’ll like it <3

Title is a line translated from this song.

Word count: ≈ 3 700

Someone catcalled you from across the street but you didn’t find it in you to care. You had no idea where you were. Night was falling, the cold, crisp air was biting your cheeks and making your whole body shiver. You could barely feel your fingers anymore. Your feet hurt. But the pain and the cold felt good. If you could, you would close your eyes and let yourself sink into it to forget everything else.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You ignored it. You kept on walking, straight ahead, left around a corner, past an old man sitting on a bench. He said something to you you did not understand. A car honked nearby. Let it. Let it hit you and put an end to your misery.

Your phone buzzed again. “Oh for fuck’s sake, leave me alone,” you muttered. But even as you said it, your hand reached in your pocket for your phone. Your heart swelled with a bubble of hope, that perhaps it would be her, that perhaps her words would be the right ones and they would make everything better. You turned on the screen and read your notifications.

Coming home soon? x

I’m making mackerel in white wine

It was the cold wind that made you tear up, nothing else. Certainly not the image of Billie in the kitchen, dressed in comfy clothes, sipping a glass of expensive white wine, hips swaying to some mellow jazz song as she chopped herbs and vegetables and stirred the sauce. Sassy, brave, confident, and just a little bit reckless Billie. How you adored her. She was everything to you.

Blinking back your tears, you texted her back a few words saying you were going to spend the night at your dad’s. That was a lie, but you really couldn’t face her right now.

And it wasn’t your fault, really. You had never meant to be so messed-up. But Billie – she was the sun, she was the moon and the stars in the sky and beyond, no matter how cliché that sounded, and you… you were lying on the ground covered with dirt. You were nothing. You had not achieved a single good thing in your life. You couldn’t talk to people without making a complete fool of yourself, you had no talent, no beauty, only a boring, dull personality.

You carried that knowledge in your chest like a rock. Most of the time its weight was bearable; but there were days when the rock seemed to expand and expand until it took all the room in your chest. When that happened, nothing could bring you relief. Negativity would cloud your mind. Dark little thoughts would chirp in your ears like birds in the spring. Useless, they would sing. Boring. Worthless, they would sing.

Today was one of those days. You had woken up with a feeling of dread and dejection and it had required all of your strength to get out of bed. Luckily Billie had left for work early; you didn’t want to bother her with your problems and your bad mood. And then things had just gotten worse and worse.

Today you had lost your job. Your boss had warned you several times before: you weren’t as efficient as your co-workers, you didn’t work fast enough, didn’t smile enough. You simply were not enough. So today he had held the front door open for you and slammed it behind you and had not even bothered to hide his satisfied smirk. Since then, you had walked. Roamed the streets, tried to make one with the cold.

Your phone rang. Billie’s name appeared on your screen. You stared at it for a moment before you accepted the call. You knew she may very well drive to your dad’s if you ignored her, and then what? She’d know you had lied to her. Besides, a tiny part of you was still hoping she would know what to say, she would just know, without you having to tell her, and that rock in your chest would turn to dust and flowers would bloom in its place.

“Hi sweetpea,” said Billie. Her voice was cheerful, but you knew her well enough now to hear the tinge of worry in it.

“Hey,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand. Are you mad?”

There was a soft clang, something metallic being moved. “Of course I’m not. But are you sure you’re alright?”

You closed your eyes and swallowed hard. “I’m fine. My dad just really needs company right now.”

Did she even care? Or was she relieved that you wouldn’t be spending the night together?

“I’m sorry you made dinner for me,” you went on, eyes still shut tight.”I should have warned you, but he –“

“It’s fine, Y/N, really,” Billie cut you off. “We have that wonderful thing called a fridge that I can use to store leftovers.”

A small laugh escaped you.

“But I’ll miss you,” Billie said. She paused, and again you pictured her, her free hand on the counter, fingers drumming, an apron tied around her waist, hair as perfectly done as if she were about to attend a movie premiere. Another small laugh escaped you, affectionate, incredibly sad.

“Me too. I’ll be back tomorrow. Love you.”You hung up before she had time to say it back. You weren’t sure you could hear those words from her right now.

What would she think when you told her you had lost the one thing that still made you a person of value to the world? You couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on her face. She would be kind, of course, and tell you not to worry. Maybe she would even say that she still loved you. But that wouldn’t be true. Billie deserved someone who, like her, had shot for the stars and made it. Someone who shone as bright as she did, someone she could be proud of – not a liability like you.

You walked. When you took a look at your surroundings, you realized you didn’t know that part of the city. It looked like a wealthy residential neighbourhood, big white houses with large porches, impeccably mown lawns. The streets were deserted. You walked.

Spending the night at your dad’s wasn’t even an option. He was too boisterous, too loud. Your best friend would know something was wrong the minute she’d take a look at your face, and then she would ask questions, demand answers you didn’t want to give her. So you kept on walking, dragging around that rock which after so many years had become a part of you. You didn’t even know if you would want to get rid of it. It felt like company now.

A bridge, across a canal. Past the city hall. You reached downtown, busy, wild, buzzing with life. People brushed past you and laughed at each other and talked too loudly. The city watched you roam without offering the least bit of comfort. You had tried to find solace in its streets hundreds of times before, fueled by the naive belief that the city would welcome you with open arms and a kind smile. But the city was indifferent and selfish. The city sneered at the lost souls that wandered the night.

Maybe you could get a hotel room. You stopped in front of the first hotel you found and stared at the door, but soon realized you were incapable of going in. It was as if your legs had frozen, as if some sort of force were pushing you away. So you walked on. Your heart was secretly singing for home.

But you couldn’t go home. You couldn’t do that to Billie. You were a burden to her, and that had to stop. She had too many great things to achieve, a whole future made of gold and diamonds and glorious victories, to be held down by someone like you. So shut up, you ordered your heart. Don’t yearn for something you do not deserve.

You walked. You walked until you were sure your feet were bleeding and every muscle in your legs was screaming in agony. A little past midnight your mind went numb. You walked. At 1am a dog barked at you, at 1:34 a drunk whistled and called for you to come with him. At 2:30 you finally looked up and realized your aching feet had led you back home.

You tried, you really did, to go away. Go back downtown, get a freaking hotel room to spend the night. Your feet led you to the front door, your hand turned the key in the lock. You could sleep on the couch, you told yourself. You could sleep on the couch, and leave at dawn before Billie woke up.

The house was dark and silent. You waited a few seconds, your heart beating fast in your chest, listening for any sound, any indication that Billie was still awake. Nothing. You took off your coat and shoes, and dropped your bag on the floor. You waited a few seconds more. When you had convinced yourself Billie was asleep, you tip-toed all the way to the living-room. The floor was cold under your feet, the walls seemed to be closing in on you in the dark.

You hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but you weren’t sure your stomach could hold food right now. All you wanted was to collapse on the couch and bury your face in the pillows and sleep. Forget that you existed.

Your right foot slammed into a suitcase you had not bothered to put away earlier in the day. A curse escaped you, low and angry, and out of the corner of your eye you saw something stir in the darkness of the living-room. You jumped, raising an arm to defend yourself, and squinted at the shape that straightened and turned, light from outside falling on strawberry blond hair.

Billie reached out to turn on a lamp and grimaced as the bright light blinded her. She raised one hand to shield her eyes, blinking away sleep. There was a red mark on her left cheek, and you quickly realised she had fallen asleep at the table while doing crosswords. She often did that, when she couldn’t sleep. Crosswords helped her focus when her mind was buzzing with too many thoughts.

She met your eyes, blinked again, and then she smiled. You stood frozen as if you had turned into a statue, the mad pumping of your heart the only sign that you were still alive.

You could have tried to make a joke. You could have lied to her again, said you had tucked your dad in and left. Instead, your throat closed up, your heart dropped into your stomach, and to your utter shame and despair you felt your eyes fill with tears.

You were so tired. How so tired of being you.

All you wanted was to sink into Billie’s arms.

For a minute there was only silence. You watched as Billie’s expression turned from surprised to happy to confused. Oh God, what would she think of you? How she would despise you. She would think you were a sad, pitiful creature and she would be right.

You prayed for something, anything, an earthquake, a meteor crash, a tidal wave even though you lived miles from the ocean, that would put an end to your miserable life.

Billie stood up, smoothing one hand over her wrinkled clothes. Only now did you notice that she hadn’t changed from work. Had she been waiting for you this whole time? Your heart tightened in your chest. No, that couldn’t be. She had probably tried to make the best of her one evening of freedom, her one happy evening when she could celebrate your being finally out of her hair.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,” she said with a small smug smile. She held out one hand as if to touch you and you flinched. She noticed, and her smile wavered.

“Are you alright?”

“I –“ With a shake of your head you took a few steps away from her, your throat thick with tears, and when you shot her a glance her face was blurry but you could still see the damned worry in her eyes –

“Y/N what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice getting higher and shaky as it always did when she was anxious. She walked up to you, but kept enough distance between you and her so as not to make you feel cornered.

“I lost my job.” The words tumbled out without permission. You were so tired. You just wanted to be held. “I got fired because I couldn’t do my job properly.”

Silence.

That was it, then. You had lost her. She was seeing you for who you really were; the veil love had dropped over her eyes was finally being lifted.

You couldn’t look at her, so you closed your eyes and let your tears fall.

“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed, one hand coming up to your chest for it was too tight, it was crushing your heart and it hurt too much. “Billie, I’m so sorry I keep disappointing you.”

A hand, on your arm. A question, barely above a whisper. “Honey, what do you mean?”

A sob pushed out of your throat, loud and painful and so despicable. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

She let out a noise, a gasp, but to you it sounded like a contemptuous, mocking laugh, a laugh that said, Look at you, pitiful, pitiful little creature.

“Y/N,” she started, but you shook your head. You still couldn’t look at her.

“Listen, I’ll get my things, I understand. Just – let me sleep here tonight. Please. I’ll sleep on the couch, only for tonight, and then I’ll leave I’ll – “

“Y/N what are you talking about?”

You felt her grip on your arm tighten, acrylics digging into your skin.

“Just one more night, please, Billie,” you begged.

“Shut up. Stop talking. You’re not making any sense, honey.”

“I’m so sorry,” you cried.

A hand on your cheek. You almost flinched, almost recoiled, but you managed to stop yourself from doing so. There was no need to hurt her more than you already had.

“Please stop apologizing,” Billie whispered. Why did she sound so broken? “Tell me what to do. What can I do?”

You shook your head again, choked on a sob. Billie’s thumb was gently stroking your cheek, catching your tears and wiping them away.

“Lie to me,” you whispered. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again. Tell me I can be enough for you.” You opened your eyes, then, and looked up at her. And you could have hit yourself, you could have stabbed your chest and ripped off your heart, for her face was coated with tears that dripped down her chin, and her gaze was so terribly sad.

She let out a strangled breath. “Oh, Y/N… come here, come here baby.”

You didn’t even try to fight her. Your body sank into hers like a stone into water. Your hands slid up her back to grab fistfuls of her shirt as you buried your face in her shoulder. She wrapped one arm around your waist and put her other hand on the back of your head, pressing you closer against her. She was being so gentle, so loving, dropping kisses on your temple, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear – it only made you cry harder. Because you were going to lose this, to lose her, and you’d never have the strength nor the will to find that kind of sweet love ever again.

She started humming, a soft tune, as she rocked you like a child and you sobbed and wailed. Her voice was always a little bit raspy when she sang, a little bit out of tune, never quite managing to hit the right notes. Hearing her sing always soothed you. She ran her fingers through your hair, acrylics gently grazing your skull, just the way you liked it, because it always made your skin tingle everywhere.

Damn her, she knew you so well. She knew exactly how to help you calm down, how to make part of that ache in your chest disappear.

Minutes passed. Billie was still humming when you finally felt like you could breathe again. You turned your head, pressed your cheek against her shoulder – her blouse was wet now, you had done that, ruined it as you always ruined everything. You forced yourself to take a deep breath, relishing the smell of her, so precious, so loved – you would have to keep it safely stored in your mind to never forget it. Maybe, on the darkest of nights to come, when everything and everyone would fail to soothe your soul, if you closed your eyes tight enough you would be able to conjure her scent again, and then sleep would finally come.

Billie’s hand slid down the side of your face to cup your cheek. You closed your eyes, counted to three, then pulled away.

Her gaze was still so very sad when you met her eyes, but she managed to offer you a smile. She gracefully wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.

“Why are you crying?” you frowned.

Billie let out an incredulous laugh. “Did you hear what you said to me?”

There was no reproach in her voice, only sadness, and that felt like a stab to your heart.

“I’m sor –“you started, but she interrupted you with a slender finger on your lips.

“I told you to stop apologizing.” She offered you another shaky smile, but then her brow pushed up in concern. “Did I –“Her voice broke. She swallowed, tried again. “Did I do something to make you feel like you were not enough?”

Did she… what? You weren’t sure you had heard her properly. Had those words really left her mouth, or had they been uttered by a malicious spirit? How could Billie, Billie who was so considerate, so loving, so utterly perfect – how could she think she had done anything wrong?

Her face crumpled as she misinterpreted your silence. “Oh no baby, I’m so s –“she started, but you interrupted her.

“No, Billie, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Your voice was hoarse from crying. You shook your head, biting your lower lip to hold back fresh tears. “You’ve been so good to me. The best thing that ever happened to me. The truth is, you’ve been too good and I don’t… I don’t want to hold you back.” She opened her mouth to protest, but you shook your head again, a silent pleading to let you finish. “Now that I’ve lost my job you’re gonna have to provide for me and I can’t let you do that. I can’t be a burden I can’t –“

Again, a finger on your lips. You fell silent. Something in you disappeared and you felt your body go limp, as if there was no strength left in you.

Billie’s finger gently tapped your lips as she gazed at you thoughtfully.

“I don’t mind providing for you while you look for another job,” she said after a while. Her brow furrowed. “Or maybe you should take a break. Maybe I should, too. We could go somewhere nice and relax for a while.”

“But I –“Another tap on your lips.

“But you –“you tried again, but again she interrupted you. You planted a kiss on her finger in retaliation, and were rewarded with a small smile.

“I couldn’t sleep without you,” Billie said in a low voice. Her eyes met yours, kind and vulnerable. “You’re not a disappointment, Y/N. It’s got to the point I cannot even imagine my future without you.”

You couldn’t help it: you dissolved into tears again. Billie cooed and gently guided your head against her shoulder. You clang to her, hoping you could get rid of your negative thoughts with every sob. It didn’t work like that, you knew it, but when you were in Billie’s arms it almost seemed life could be easy and kind.

You didn’t pull away when your tears subsided. You kept your eyes closed, enjoying Billie’s embrace, her hand running through your hair, her warmth. You felt thoroughly empty now, thoroughly spent. Sleep weighed on your eyelids. You wrapped your arms around Billie’s waist and pulled her closer still, breathed in her scent and let out a sigh.

“What happened?” Billie whispered after a while.

“I told you.” You nuzzled her shoulder. “I lost my job.”

“No, I mean… what happened?”

You got her meaning, somehow, as if your mind were perfectly attuned to hers. You hesitated. Swallowed hard.

“I don’t know,” you said in a breath. “Sometimes it feels like I can never be a viable option for anyone, especially not for you. I know it’s stupid, I know I have no real reasons to feel that way. But I can’t help it.”

Billie hummed. She dropped a kiss on your forehead, warm lips lingering on your skin. “I love you,” she said, voice firm and raspy. She ran one hand up and down your back, nails scratching gently.”And I want you, even when you’re at your lowest and ugliest, even when you don’t have a job.”Her hand slipped over your shoulder, under your chin, titled your head up. She waited for you to meet her eyes. “You’re allowed to not be at your best all the time. That doesn’t make you worthless.”

And as you gazed at her with half lidded eyes, her words sank into you and settled in your chest and bloomed there. Eased the ache. Maybe only for a few hours, maybe only for a few days, but it was all you needed right now. And somehow she had known exactly what to say. And she would know what to say the next time.

You blinked sleepily, and she cooed, smiled a smile that was half fond, half smug. “Do you need to get some shut-eye, my little bear?”

You rolled your eyes at her, but were betrayed by a yawn. Her smile grew into a smirk.

“Shut up,” you muttered, as you buried your face in her chest, nuzzled the exposed skin, and smiled.

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[reylofanfictionanthology]

TO FIND YOUR KISS IS NOW LIVE!  

Authors will be revealed next week!  For now all fics are anonymous.  Treats can be posted through author reveals on 2/21.  We will post an updated masterpost at that time.

To Find Your Kiss collection on AO3 | Treats Masterpost

GIFT FIC MASTERPOST

- Reap the Stars for abbytheatre08

The prompt: After Ben's death, Rey goes mad and turns to the dark side. Only Ben's not dead anymore. ----------------------- She is consuming fire, magnificent in her rage. She will burn the galaxy to its foundations, until the ashes rain down and pile high as mountains. She will gather them into bouquets and scatter them like petals upon his grave.

He will be remembered, and they will not.

Call him The Light Bearer and Joy Giver. Call him He Who Loved and Laid Down His Life. Call him Ben.

- we are question marks that hang above the endless unexplained for AlwaysEverlark

The first time she walked into his club, she was looking for a job. Kylo took one look at her—the stubborn pout of her lip, the determined glint in her eyes, the ruddy glow of her face where the sun had kissed it—and swallowed a lump in his throat that was shaped like the words you’re too good for this place.

They needed a singer. Kira Johnson could hold a tune, knew the old standards, and had a knockout pair of tits to boot. A few slinky ballgowns and a touch of lipstick, and she’d more than do the trick of distracting suckers long enough to part them from their money.

The club solely needed to break even; anything they made on top of the Syndicate’s cut was gravy, and Kylo Ren had been lining his pockets with his own take for long enough that he could see Kira for the lump of clay that she was: rough-hewn, misshapen, but soft and supple and sure to curve under his touch.

- Eighty Bucks Says Sweetheart for Amoreusou

Ben likes puzzles. Rey needs help with a bunch of them. Good thing it's a slow day at the office.

- Seldom Visions for Andrina_Nightshade

After visiting an old Sith temple, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has fallen into a deep sleep when he pricks his finger on the point of a red crystal. Rey become is the first to find him, but his rescuer isn't just any general or pilot, it's the woman he shares a soul with, who haunts his waking hours, who still sees him even in his sleep.

- The Dyad for aneighthdomain

Based of the Prompt: Groundhog Day scenario. Ben and Rey keep getting sent back to the first time they met and no matter what they do, Ben always dies so they stop trying to change events and just live a life time in the year between and couple of weeks and run away together.

- Saudade: The Love That Remains for AnneAnna

- The Delegation for aNerdObsessed

A humanitarian delegation from Naboo arrives at Niima Outpost. Rey is skeptical, to say the least.

- i don't want you like a best friend for anopendoor

It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming—Rose told her weeks ago that he was invited. It was an inevitability Rey was always going to have to face, she just didn’t think that Rose would be so merciful as to also give every guest a plus one.

But Rey can’t really be upset—and she is totally, unequivocally not upset—that Ben's bringing someone because, well.

She is, too.

- Love is Weakness for bittersnake

“He’s someone I found on my recent trip to Corellia,” Rey replies placidly, her face practiced in its boredom. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Love is weakness,” her grandfather reminds her, the way he has for years. It’s why he doesn’t love her. He will not be weak. It’s why she doesn’t love him, either.

- in sickness and in health (with health being less likely) for BlueButterflyKisses

Deciding to spend the rest of their lives together is the easy part for both Rey and Ben; the trouble is in how to propose.

- Snowed In for Blueyedgurl

Never in her wildest dreams did Rey Johnson think she would ever get to meet her favorite other Kylo Ren. She also would have never entertained the idea of the scenario she found herself in. How did a hike in the woods lead to a snowstorm and taking shelter in a remote cabin in the woods? The idea was so ridiculous but had become reality. Stuck inside with a handsome stranger surrounded by a winter storm, Rey wonders what will happen with no power and only one bed. Will they be polite co-habitants stuck in a strange set of circumstances or is there room for something more?

- Curses, Comforts and Capybaras for Bombastique

Arrogant CEO bites off more than he can chew when he angers a witch... And suddenly finds himself transformed into a capybara. Can kindhearted wildlife rehabber Rey Niima help him break the curse?

- To Heal a Broken Soul for Cat2000

Ben survives the fallout of Exegol, but his connection to the physical world is in danger. Rey tends to him as she searched for a way to heal him.

- holding me like water in your hands for Ceallaigh

After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.

- Like a Thief in the Night for chagrins

Their bond won't let them be alone. At least this time it's the middle of the night and they can't get into a shouting match.

- The Chance for Crysania

When Rey and Ben, long time co-workers who have never been able to admit their feelings to each other, go on a weekend retreat to work on a movie adaptation script together, a Nor’easter leaves them snowed in. On Valentine’s Day.

- Awake for cuddlesome

Something inside him is awake, and something inside her is about to wake up.

An alternate interrogation scene.

- darkness rises, and light to meet it for czechia

After the throne room, Jedi Ben Solo and Kira Ren meet again a year later.

- Not Quite a Fairytale for DarkMage13

Rey lets a stranger use the phone of the café she works at late one night. It changes the whole course of her life.

- You Won't Escape Me ('Cause I Set You Free) for DoorKeeper9

- The Canvas of Your Skin for darlingreadsalot

She was incapable of touching him without drawing blood, it seemed. Lines like vermillion paint streaked where her fingers sketched down the contours of his face, his back, and now his chest.

In which a Force bond is splintered, a resurrection goes wrong, a kiss is forgotten, and two almost-lovers avoid speaking for the better half of a year.

- Fleeing the Storm for driverfever

As the granddaughter of an merciless aristocrat, Rey’s life hangs on a thread at the hands of the French Revolutionaries. When her childhood friend, Ben, offers to platonically marry her in order to take her to his home in England to safety, she has no choice but to accept.

But her suitor and revolutionary Hux won’t give her up so easily. Hounded by revolutionaries and falling in love, Rey and Ben must use all their wits to flee Paris and make it to England.

- Equal Measure for dustoftheancients

When Princess Rey of Coruscant calls upon the cursed Sir Kylo Ren to help her escape her grandfather the emperor’s political machinations, she discovers freedom in the ancient familial magic that binds them together.

- Benimina Solo's Late On-Set Force Ability for Evangel10n

Benimina Solo has never, not even once, had an ounce of Force Sensitivity. She's done a great deal to move on with her life after failing out of her uncle's Jedi training school. So when Rey Palpatine comes into her life and suddenly everything changes, she's not a happy camper.

- Splatter for expendable

“You’re Palpatine’s girl,” he says coldly.

“His chief of staff, yes.” Rey’s eyes narrow. “And you have your hand on my ass, Kylo. Kindly take it off.”

“Or what?”

AKA powerful corporate rivals Kylo and Rey put the hate in love/hate.

- The Haunted Mirror for FangirlintheForest

When Rey travels to UK to attend the reading of his grandfather will, a grandfather she didn't know existed until that very moment, she finds a house, and a old story that will haunt her...

- i'm your secretary for firelord65

Kaydel pressed her lips together in a thin line, passing a pile of datapads over the desk. “I don’t know what that pretentious nerf herder has put into your brain, but these are tales of the key roles women have played in past rebellions.” She stood, tapping the pile. “They’re great reads,” she added, with a pointed raise of her eyebrow.

- and they danced across the sky for flipflop_diva

When he was still a child, he constantly watched the blue butterflies as they danced in the sky.

They seemed to be calling him, aiding him each instance that icy-cold darkness flowed through his very veins. The magnificent creatures saved him from the voices. They drowned out the incessant chatter in his head. Temporarily cleared away all the anger. During those brief respites, watching those blue wings flutter in the sky, Ben felt free.

But that’s another life. Another world. Another time. Another, another, another.

And Kylo's no longer a child.

No. He welcomes the darkness now. Embraces it.

- Finding The Answer for FrenchMartiniPlease

Rey pines for Ben Solo…so why does her soulmate mark always drain of colour whenever she gets close to him?

- Almost Unforgettable for HopeRebel

The woman in the mirror has blood on her clothes, cash in her bag, and a letter from her husband telling her it's better to forget. Well, he got his wish. She forgot everything-- including her name. And she wasn't the only one afflicted.

It'll take the combined efforts of gumshoes, a flatfoot, a washed-up Hollywood starlet, and more to get to the bottom of this bad business. In the end, these things always come back to the beginning.

- The Curl of a Sigh for irridesca

During the last song in Maxine’s set, a song she announces is called “Soul Companion,” Ben heads back out to the lobby to look for Rey. He finds her not with his eyes but with one broad shoulder, when he bumps into her and knocks her gig bag out of her hands and onto the plush carpet.

- and they were roommates for Lady_of_Haven

When Ben loses a bet to his roommate, Rey, he has to eat her out for 30 days.

- torn away from you (my heart is broken) for lakerose

The Force binds more than minds.

- If You Take Me for literallynoonecares

She sighed wistfully as she watched her two friends lean in toward each other as they danced, their lips meeting and melding together as they seemed to become one person instead of two separate beings. She had seen them kiss so many times, but this kiss … it was special.“I just want someone to kiss me like that,” she mused softly to herself, her eyes not leaving her friends.“I could make that happen if you wanted.”

- 3 Days in Vienna for Like_A_Dove

Kylo Ren, trained mercenary Alpha assassin, is on a mission—assassinate Chancellor Palpatine and bring his underground authoritarian regime to an end. It’s what the First Order demands, for the better of society.

It should be an easy task. He’s been getting close to the Chancellor and his cronies for years. So how is it that the unexpected appearance of an Omega, with a seemingly similar mission—and a wholly inconveniencing scent—become a distraction he hadn’t accounted for?

- Confidence and Desire for LittleLostStar

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

- Love brightens even the most monstrous parts of ourselves for LRRH17

No one knows since when the giant, black bear has lived in the forest near Theed. Many stories about the origin of Kylo Ren circulate in the small village. After Rey has run away from Jakku, and arrived in Theed she has heard them all of, but has never actually meet the creature. This changes when her and her friends get attacked by bandits on their way back from Otoh Gunga.

- Your Sweetness Comes With Sugar on the Side for Lutrosis

Rey's daughter loses her mother as she wanders around the Supermarket. Ben finds her and the two connect over both being Type 1 diabetics. They find Rey, and Ben and Rey are instantly smitten. As they date and fall in love they discover that Jade and Ben are connected more than they thought and healing is brought to the Solo/Skywalker clan.

- Allegories, or Allusions to Real Life for maq_moon

“Boys, please stop arguing.” Rose rubbed her temples. “Poe, we get it, you’re childhood best buddies, you’ve got a better grasp on his character than some rando of a rando you met at a party. Finn, for fuck’s sake, we’ve been working with Ben for months. I’m pretty sure if he’s a serial killer or whatever, it would have come out by now.” Finn sat back in his seat, grumbling. “Not how serial killers work.” Rey was going to have a headache if this continued any longer, so she lied through her teeth at the reality of a new player joining their D&D party. "He seems nice." She didn’t trust a single inch of skin on that man. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

- A Mad Man, with a Box for MBlair

Rey and Ben meet, move in together, get engaged, and marry.

- Invite the Wild In for midwinterspring

Kylo Ren, the mysterious senator who appeared from out of the deserts of Jakku and somehow brought them back to life, has spent a long and unproductive session on Hosnian Prime. Now, it's time to go home. After all, there's someone waiting for him and so much for them to do together.

(The ancient Sith had some interesting rituals.)

- Purim Party for MissCoppelia

Rey goes back to visit her foster mother for a Purim celebration. She meets Ben Solo who's visiting his parents, who are friends with her foster mother. They have an attraction to each other right away, but try to play it cool.

- The Banished Heart for misszeldasayre

On Rey of Niima’s nineteenth name day, Jakku gains a new wizard.

Jakku is a withering outpost of the kingdom, and its people hope the new wizard - the mysterious Kylo Ren - will bring them the rains the land needs to heal. Rey is a lonely, clanless girl living in Niima, and she has a secret. One she hopes the wizard will be able to help her with too.

- The Smuggler's Bride for MyJediLife

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- Annabel Lee for myownlittleinfinity

Rey keeps finding these ... notes in her locker. She doesn't quite get them. They seem like love notes, but she doesn't know who they could be from. Meanwhile she's paired up with Ben Solo (who hates her despite her gigantic crush on him) for this English assignment. Who knows how THIS will go.

- with my body i thee worship for niennathegrey

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- the losing game for no_big_deal

Sith Princess Rey Palpatine is given a peculiar gift for her Life Day: a Jedi. Not only that, one who is boorish, spirited, and stubborn. But, he presents an opportunity: one that could liberate her from a life under the thumb of her grandfather. She has seven weeks to change his heart before all her freedom is taken from her - forever.

- standing right in front of you for notkellymarie

When Senator Solo's engagement is pushed forward, he and his Jedi bodyguard, Rey, travel to Naboo alone for the announcement ball. The pair despise each other, constantly bickering and disagreeing with each other, which makes spending extensive amounts of time alone together all that more difficult. Until of course, one of them breaks...

- the good, the bad, and the smuggling for OccasionallyCreative

Ben Solo is a seasoned smuggler. And he’s not bad at it, either. But when bounty hunter Rey offers him a temporary partnership he can’t refuse, Ben will find himself pushed to the limits of his skill, patience, and resourcefulness on a job that’s dangerous enough to be his last.

It’s like his dad used to say: bounty hunters are nothing but trouble, kid.

- Whatever our souls are made of...his and mine are the same for Padawan_Writer

Ben and Rey meet only after Kylo has defected from the First Order and returned to the Resistance and his mother. Will the dyad still find a way to be?

- They say that only the dead have seen the end of war for politicalpadmé

“He traded his life for mine,” Rey choked, stomping back and forth in front of him so fast he could barely keep track of her. “He died. He died so I didn’t have to—and it’s not—it’s—after everything he’s gone through—it’s not fair.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, and Poe wanted to do nothing more than hug her, but there was nothing he could say—nothing she would want to hear. Poe remembered all the people he’d lost, all the times he had raged and screamed and cried about the unfairness of it all. “Leia sacrificed herself to bring him back,” Rey declared suddenly, ceasing her constant pacing around the fire as she looked straight at him. “And he sacrificed himself for me—and now no one’s going to know. All he’ll be remembered as is Kylo Ren, but he was—he was so much more.” She exhaled with a shudder and whispered, “He was a part of me, and I—I don’t feel whole without him.” ~

A Force Ghost Ben/Rey love story, with a side of rebuilding the galaxy.

- Cicatrix for Priestly

Getting cut up by Rey on Starkiller awakens something in Kylo.

- I Will Always Be With You for Prix

But she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She was starting to show, and her friends would start asking questions. She would have to give them answers, some of them would not understand, and none of them would accept.

She carried his child. The tiny spark of light woven with darkness, just like her. Just like his father.

—————

The world has gone dark More times than you Or your mother Or your grandmother Can remember. And every hurricane That was meant to be The end of it all Had instead ended In sunshine again.

So believe me When I say; You will survive this And the next one too.

World’s End—Nikita Gill

- all my daydreams are disasters for QueenOfCarrotFlowers

During her search for the infamous Luke Skywalker — the man who predicted a devastating earthquake in New Madrid, Missouri — Rey finds herself entangled in Luke’s family history and with his brooding nephew, Ben Solo.

- on what ground I was founded (when I first saw you) for redbelles

Kylo dreams of Rey after the Battle of Crait. And the yearning is mutual...

Some Force Bond dream smut inspired by "Shrike" and "NFWMB" by Hozier.

- Last Summer for Reykenobi68

Rey had started to get used to Ben not living next door anymore by the time the holidays came around. Then he's back for the holidays. Rey is really expecting things to go wrong after the way he left at the end of the summer. ut is it really going to be that bad.

- The Long Way Home for reylotrash711

In the aftermath of Exegol, Ben and Rey are divided by misunderstandings.  It will take time and danger for them to work things out.

- Under the moonlight for shariling

I don't know why I followed you here. She wanted to reply. Maybe because you're so tall I couldn't help but notice you. Maybe it's because of your hair or the way you move, or maybe it's because of that kind of melancholic look in your eyes. There is something about you that I find terribly attractive and I don’t know what it is: maybe the moon or the alcohol or the wolf I have met before infected me with some strange parasite and now I am hopelessly attracted to dogs, I do not know. She could have said one of these things, any of them, instead she said: “I've never bitten anyone before, and I want you to be my first.”

- Fallen for shipperofdarkness

Prompt: Devil!Ben and Angel!Rey or Angel!Ben and Devil!Rey. How do these two on completely opposite sides fall in love and defy worlds to be together?

- come away with me for silentfleur

Rey owns a tinker shop, but her life changes when she meets Ben Solo and is cursed by a witch. Not necessarily in that order.

- A Picture of Me Without You for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

"I suppose I'd somehow struggle through / But I'd hate to picture myself without you."

It's impossible not to have a soulmark. It's not a big deal, not in the lax and gin-soaked speakeasies of 1920s Manhattan, but it's still a heavy weight to bear, as Ben Solo and Rey find out side by side.

- Lips Raw With Love for stellardarlings

Their kiss on Exegol wasn't their first kiss...

Nor would it be their last.

- Everyone Makes Divine Mistakes for Takekurabehime

Jedi Knight Ben Solo is sent to Naboo on an errand of mercy (and to visit his grandparents). He arrives in springtime; but will he be able to complete his mission without finding himself distracted and bewildered when love and intrigue waft through the fragrant air?

- Glitter & Gold for TearoomSaloon

Rey is lead singer in an up-and-coming glam metal band. They've finally got steady performances, but that means playing at the same club as the Knights of Ren, whose lead singer definitely isn't interested in any competition.

- To kiss like lovers do for the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Ben and Rey spend their formative years growing up together in Medieval Scotland and it looks like they will end up together. Circumstances intervene and Rey loses her chance to be with him. Devastated, she carries on until the day clan Ren attacks Castle Jakku lead by the notorious killer Kylo Ren.

- Snow Turns To Rain for thehobbem

For a moment, he wanted to ask what she meant, but if he was being completely honest, he already knew.  He asked himself that same question over the years, and none more often than tonight, since seeing her again.  Was leaving worth it?  Was going their separate ways worth leaving each other?

 “I’m not sure,” he said finally, shaking his head.  “I’m happy...” he said, and she tensed a little, so he continued, “with my work.  I’m glad I’m doing what I love, but....”

 “But?”

 “But it wasn’t the only thing I loved.”

- Change the Dance for theresonatinglight

- Meet Me in the Woods for thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)

“What do you mean no one goes in there?” A chuckle. “It’s haunted. People see all sorts of weird things in there and some don’t ever come out. You’re better off living with your curiosity.” Rey wakes in a shadowy forest with no memory of where she came from, only her name. With the help of the resident guardian she takes a journey to figure out her past, and maybe even discover her future.

- permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) for Thursdaygirl

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.

- show me the stars. for tmwillson3

“I don’t hate Christmas, I just don’t love it the way you do.” Lifting his head, he pulls a face, loosening up a tangled ornament of a poodle with pink, curly fluff. Rey snatches it from him possessively, tossing it back to the cart. “No one loves it the way you do, to be fair.”

“Now that’s the truth,” says Poe, who Finn invited about half an hour ago to keep him company.

“People have bad taste, I don’t know what to say.” Huffing, Rey scrolls through her phone with more intent. “Neither of you are helping me, anyway.”

“What’s the problem?” says Poe.

“Rey thinks her hot neighbor hates her —”

“He does hate me.”

“ — When really he’s been flirting with her for the past, oh I don’t know, how long have you lived there?”

- I realized that I need you, I wondered if I could come home for VR_Trakowski

Rey is doing exploration work for the Resistance, searching for force sensitive planets so any force sensitives that they find have a place to train.

One day, midflight she finds a slip of paper with the elegant scrawling words of the ones that came before. The ones that she found when Ben still roamed the galaxy.

When she lands on a dark and barren planet she is forced to face the feelings she thought she buried.

- Shadows of the Moon for walkingsaladshooter

The hallways got darker, the corridors grew longer. Shadows stretched across the walls. The ghosts of Breha Manor grew each night.

Rey clutched her necklace. Ben met her gaze.

And every night, there was weeping.

- show the way (the world could be) for writergenie

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crait, Rey struggles to find her place among the Resistance. However, her lingering Force bond with Kylo— Ben— whatever name he calls himself— complicates things, blurring the line between friend and foe.

When the tension threatens to boil over and a desperate plan goes awry, Rey begins to wonder whether there really is a line between light and dark after all.

(Stars do burn brightest in the blackness of space.)

- why don't we go (somewhere only we know) for XarisEirene

The bond snaps back into place, even stronger than before. He is here. With Rey, yes, but with Luke - Luke, who is looking at them now with that same dangerous glint in his eye that haunts Ben’s dreams.

- renewed, transfigured, in another pattern for yodalorian

Rey mourns on Tatooine while Ben is stuck in the World Between Worlds. But neither of them are alone, and blue butterflies light a path back to each other.

[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, Chapter 8

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22. Anniversary

“Happy three month, one week, and four day anniversary!”

Marinette snorted, hanging her head instead of looking up to see him. “We are not doing that, are we?”

“Yup!” Adrien said, beaming.

With a sigh, Marinette looked back up at him, an accepting smile on her face. “And why, pray tell, are we celebrating this specific anniversary?”

Adrien gave his best pout. “Because it’s been almost three weeks since we’ve been able to have a date and I miss you.” The bakery had been busy the last couple weeks, packed with longer lines than normal and more special orders. Sadly, this meant he hadn’t been able to spend time with Marinette, and their attempt last week to get together ended up with them falling asleep in the middle of Fruits Basket.

Which attested to just how tired they were, because that was really hard to do in the middle of season three!

He supposed a nap date where she’d laid huddled against his chest while he snuggled her wasn’t a bad thing. On the contrary, it had been one of the best naps he’d ever had. But still, it wasn’t quite what he’d label as a date.

“Has it been that long?” Marinette questioned, her brow furrowed. “I feel like the days have all blended together lately.”

“Yeah. Our last official date was when we went out for breakfast and then around the park before coming back and working that first chaotic night shift.”

“Oh yeah,” Marinette said, eyes brightening in realization. “I totally forgot about that.”

“How could you forget me?” Adrien pouted.

“Easily,” Marinette sassed back with a wink.

He theatrically grasped at his chest above his heart. “Ouch, ice princess. You put Elsa to shame.”

She leveled a flat look at him.

“Oh? Does the princess wish I’d let it—”

“You’ve been banned. Good bye.”

“Wait, wait,” he cried, quickly catching the door before she could slam it in his face. “Come on, that was funny.”

“That joke is already dead. Don’t continue to beat the dead horse.”

“But it’s still relevant.”

“No. No, it’s not.”

He pouted, shooting her with his best pair of puppy dog eyes he could manage.

“I don’t care how cute you are.”

“Ouch,” he said, smile growing. “That was a cold one, princess.”

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it,” she said with a smirk.

“I won’t,” he assured. “Now, may the lovely royal princess of the bakery deign me worthy of entry into her humble abode?”

“You are such a dork.”

“Your dork.”

“My amusing peon.”

“Ouch!”

Giggling, she opened the door, letting him in.

Adrien happily walked in to the house that had become his second home. “So, for our anniversary, you want to go grab an ice cream on this nice day?”

Marinette frowned. “Actually, I’m really not up for going anywhere.”

“Oh? Are you not feeling we—”

He stopped, his eye catching the plastic Marinette had wrapped around her left arm. More accurately, catching sight of what was underneath the plastic.

She grinned, looking down at what looked like a fresh tattoo. “Yeah. Guess you could say that, but supposedly, that’s pretty typical.”

“Yeah, it is,” Adrien said, walking over to her so that he could examine the design better. “Mine hurt for days.”

“You have a large cat that wraps around your entire forearm. I don’t have anything that big.”

It wasn’t too big, but it was pretty. A few ladybugs sitting on some swirly flowers, a design that took up half of her inner forearm. The design was only about a quarter the size of his, but it felt very similar design-wise, each having an animal in a colorful, misty background that he believed was referred to as a watercolor affect. Hers was just pink compared to his green.

“It looks great,” he eventually said. “And really suits you.”

She grinned. “Thanks. And now, we match.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, look.” With that, Marinette bounced over to his right side, same side he had his tattoo on, before sliding her left hand into his right. “See? You’re the bad luck cat, and I’m the good luck ladybug. We match.”

Adrien stared at their conjoined hands, his eyes slowly drifting up to where his tattoo and hers met. “You got a tattoo… to match me?”

Marinette grinned. “Maybe it’s a little early for ‘matching couple tattoos, but I thought ‘why not?’ I’ve always liked your cat tattoo, so I planned out what I wanted to get so that we could match. I got yesterday after work, and since it’s the beginning of my ‘weekend’, I have time to just relax and let it heal.”

Adrien stared at it, his grin widening. “It suits you.”

“Thank you.”

“You know what this means, though, right?”

Marinette cocked her head. “What does it mean?”

“It means…” he drew out, leaning closer to her with a grin on his face. “You’re stuck with me forever, now that we have a couple tattoo.”

With a grin of her own, she leaned in closer, her nose just a centimeter from his. “Not until I get a ring.”

Without any hesitation, Adrien reached into his pocket. This was just intended to be a gift that he saw that made him think of her. One he impulsively bought one day going home from work. The tag said it was for the right hand.

But at the moment, he could think of no better place to put it than sliding it on her left ring finger right then and there.

“There you go. You’re mine now.”

Marinette froze, staring at the ring for a moment before chuckling awkwardly at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

Adrien knew why she felt so awkward. He did to. It had taken too long to realize for his head to catch up to his actions, and when it did, he himself had froze.

What did he just do?

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to marry her. On the contrary, he had actually already talked with her parents, gotten a blessing from her father, her ring size from her mother, and had ordered a ring last night. He’d planned out just how he was going to propose to her. It was going to be during a perfect date with dinner and candles and a chance to let her dress up. Basically, the whole shebang.

And here he was, proposing with an inexpensive cat ring.

Actually, he realized he hadn’t proposed at all. He’d just stuck the ring on her finger and called it good.

He had to fix this. He had to get his mouth to formulate words first.

“I… I mean…”

Great, his face was red, Marinette was waiting for a well-deserved answer, and he was incapable of giving it to her.

“Adrien, you are not serious.” Her words came out flatly, but Adrien knew her well enough to hear the undertone of panic in them

“Um…” he fought hard for the words that came to him next. “About marrying you? Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt, I’d chase you to the ends of the earth to make you mine. About this ring being the engagement one, though, no. Most certainly not.”

“You are not serious,” she repeated, her voice weaker than before while her knees began to bend as though she might collapse. Tears began welling in her eyes, and Adrien was growing nervous.

“I’m sorry!��� Adrien finally got out, panicked. “I had something so much better planned out, and I definitely should have thought that through—”

“I’m not talking about that, you stupid idiot!” she cried. In a flash, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung tight. “That was so unromantic and I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you.”

By now, Adrien could hear the tears in her voice, but considering the way she clung to him, she wasn’t too mad about this poorly planned out engagement. “Yeah, it will be one for the books,” he surrendered, hugging her back tightly. “But, is that a yes?”

She nodded, clinging to him tighter. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said with a sigh, the tension leaving his body. “But you’re okay with that, right?”

She sniffed. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Unfortunately, I’m a little too okay with that.”

Adrien just chuckled. “I’ll take it.”

 23. Sunset

Marinette looked at the little black kitty ring on her finger. Under normal circumstances, it signaled that she was engaged.

In her case, it signaled she was engaged to an idiot.

“I still can’t believe I did that.”

Marinette chuckled at the blonde man beside her hanging his head in his hand. At the moment, they were finishing up their impromptu date of actually getting the ice cream Adrien had wanted to get last weekend before staying out the rest of the afternoon and finding a spot to grab dinner. But dinner had ended and they hadn’t wanted to hog the table at the restaurant, so Adrien was escorting her home. However, as per usual, neither wanted to part, hence why they were procrastinating their parting on a bench in the park while they watched the sunset.

“Can’t get more spontaneous of a proposal than that,” she teased. Shockingly, she didn’t mind it, though. Adrien looked like he hadn’t even realized what he’d done until after he did it. The horror on his face still shone clear in her memory, bringing a grin to her lips. It really would be one for the books.

But still, he’d made it clear that he earnestly wanted to marry her, and in the end, that’s all that mattered to her.

“You have to know I meant it!” he cried, looking up to her with a faint blush on his cheeks. “I just… did not think that through.”

“At least you’re pretty.”

“Hey, I am plenty bright!”

“Really? Because I think a few bulbs need to be changed in your attic.”

“Says the crazy woman who not only accepted that proposal but is still wearing the cat ring.”

She sniggered. He had her there. “Well, I guess I’m a sucker for honestly.”

Adrien shook his head, a bemused smile on his face. “I’m glad that part came through, at the very least.”

Looking over at the man next to her, Marinette couldn’t help but feel happy. Botched proposal and all, she didn’t mind it one bit. They would always be a little chaotic, they’d always have their back-and-forth banter, but they’d also always have each other’s backs and ultimately would always be each other’s biggest support. The proposal just felt par for their course.

Plus, it would not only make for great stories but great teasing fodder, and Marinette was always down for anything that gave her the upper hand.

“Hey,” she said, voice earnest as she reached out to grab his hand. “Just so you know, I’ll probably never let up teasing you about it.”

He huffed in amusement. “I would think there was something seriously wrong with you if you did.”

“But,” she finished, “I am still very happy.”

His smile turned soft, and Marinette thought she might as well melt right then and there. “Well, I’m glad about that,” Adrien said, raising her hand to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. “But there is definitely one thing I have to fix.”

Marinette quirked a brow, confused for a second before realizing what he was referring to. “The ring?” she asked, wiggling her left ring finger. “Because I’m not gonna lie, I would like an actual one.”

“Yeah? Well how about this one?” That’s when Adrien slid off the park bench, getting on one knee before her and reached into his pocket. Biting her lip to withhold a girlish squeal, Marinette found that she really didn’t care what the ring looked like.

But she wasn’t going to lie, the stunning blue sapphire he presented her with was freaking gorgeous.

“I know diamonds are traditional,” he said, tugging her left hand closer to him. “But you’re not some average girl. I didn’t think something like that would suit you. Marinette, I would like to apologize for not doing this right the first time, but I’m so grateful that you accepted anyway. I’m so thankful to have you in my life, so much so that I want you to stay by my side as my life-long partner. So with this ring, I’ll ask you properly this time. Marinette, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Marinette felt the tears prickling her eyes. It was such an easy question, and yet, getting the word to roll of her tongue was difficult. She nodded fervently. “Yes!”

With a grin, Adrien took off the kitty ring and replaced it with the one glittering in his hand. Once he did that, she threw her arms around his neck, clinging tightly to him just as she had the first time he proposed.

There were a few cheers and a round of applause from the people around them, but Marinette couldn’t care less. For better or worse, she was going to marry this idiot.

She couldn’t ask for anything better than that.

 24. Balcony

Adrien stood out on his tiny balcony, looking up at the stars and purposefully ignoring his phone.

More specifically, the message his father had left him.

It’s been over a year. The message said. What are you doing with your life now?

Good question.

Adrien sighed, his eyes shutting as he hung his head. Well, he was still working at Tom and Sabine’s bakery, and honestly, he was pretty happy with that. He got to work with people he loved doing something that he did find enjoyable. He never really fancied himself to be the creative type, but finding himself in the kitchen while crafting desserts and making bread had brought more joy into his life than modeling ever had. On top of that, he was getting married. He thought that was a good accomplishment.

But he knew it wouldn’t be good enough for his father.

He heard his phone buzz again and groaned. The last thing he did was want to answer it.

What would I even say? He thought, rubbing his forehead in a vain attempt to relieve the growing stress headache.

Unfortunately, he was too curious for his own good. And that curiosity won out over his reluctance.

He walked inside to where he’d left his phone sitting on the bed side table. Bracing himself, he tapped the screen, only for all tension to instantly drain form his body upon learning it wasn’t a text from his father but rather from Marinette.

You want to go do something tomorrow?

He smiled, collapsing back onto his bed with a smile. Of course he wanted to do something tomorrow. What, he didn’t know, but didn’t really care, either. They always had fun together whatever they did.

He opened the text and started a reply before stopping and deciding to give her a call instead.

“Hey, hot stuff,” she said. He could hear the flirty grin on her face. “Missed the sound of my voice?”

He grinned. “Yeah. Guess you could say that.”

There was a pause on the other side of the line. “Something wrong?” she asked, all teasing gone from her tone.

Adrien sighed. “My father.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, you know, he kicked me out and now is wanting to know what I’m doing with my life.”

He heard her scoff over the phone. “Really?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really want to talk about that right now,” he said. “Right now, I just want to hear your voice.”

“Oh? What do you want to talk about then? My thoughts on that new anime you showed me?’

He chuckled. “You could talk about the weather and I’d be cool with it.”

“Well,” she began in a smooth voice. “Tonight’s forecast includes clear skies with no stars due to light pollution. A light breeze blows through the city tonight towards the Eiffel tower, whatever direction that is. It is an undetermined temperature, but comfortably cool enough to be outside in a short sleeve tee-shirt. How’s that?”

Adrien could feel his worries ease away at the sound of her voice, her sass, spunk, and sarcasm still coming through even through her calm tone. He really loved this woman and was the luckiest guy alive to be marrying her. “It’s perfect.”