#or at least a big aspect to them
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What's your duality?
god-hungry scientist and their abominable child.
you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators, and so i'm telling you, please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.
Tagged by @strongfuck
Tagging: @the-expatriate (Pari), @general-kalani, @the-narrator-father , and whoever wants to do this. ❤️
#talky talks: ic#noisy talky thoughts: musing#WOW THIS WAS A LONG QUIZ#but holy fuckaroo its DL#or at least a big aspect to them#about dl#AWW MAN THEY DO THINK THEY'RE A MONSTER
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one thing that's really nice about cooking is that you don't have to be an expert, or even close to it, to make stuff that other people will judge as good. like with art, or a sport, it takes a lot of time and effort to get to a level that people will genuinely find impressive but with cooking as long as you find a good recipe and don't do anything totally whacked with it you can have everyone falling head over heels for your soup
#to be clear. this isnt about the praise aspect (mostly) its about being able to give people a legitimately nice experience with your craft#ive been cooking a lot living by myself and it fulfills so many of the needs art fulufills without being so risky in terms of mental/#emotional investment#but it hasnt replaced art at all in fact i think it's helped keep me out of art block by just giving me something else to do for the#brain chemical reward that is also productive/doesnt make me feel bad about just being on that damn phone all the time#so i can keep working on big art projects without needing them to be self sustaining in terms of motivation#at least thats what i Think -- we'll see whether it keeps panning out#just things ive been thinking about idk#personal tag
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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yknow i think a really fundamental misunderstanding current dc writers have with garth is that he genuinely wasn't a child soldier like dick or wally. sure he definitely comes from that era and there Are undoubtedly aspects of his character arc and relationship with arthur that are similar to the classic mentor/mentee relationship, but their core relationship didn't start with that. arthur originally only brought garth along because they were just besties. arthur was living it up homeless style with this random orphan he found and they got into some hijinks together. then shit happened, he becomes King, but he's not going to abandon garth so he continues to bring him along.
part of garth growing up was him having to take things more seriously and learn to handle hero shit. like. he was really just randomly thrust into that world because arthur Became a big hero, not because arthur intentionally took on a protégé.
so when i see dc writing rebirth garth or even yj garth as this Cool Kid who was taken under arthur's wing and trained to become a Cool Hero, it's just,,, it's a Huge misunderstanding of garth himself but especially their relationship. his daddy issues are amplified because he always saw arthur as this cool older man who took him in as a son, not as a student. unlike a character like dick who has issues with bruce because bruce himself treats him as both a son and student, garth really became the student in response to arthur's duties, after they already had an established relationship. and even then, garth was never meant to be arthur's protégé in the way the other kid sidekicks were.
like. garth became arthur's sidekick because he wanted to be there. he wanted to be with His Dad and help him on these important missions. he didn't want to be alone anymore, and if that meant risking his life for arthur then fucking whatever, he'll do it. while arthur did take on the role of mentor and garth was very much his sidekick, garth was never the Child Soldier or the Protégé like the other sidekicks. like i'd say that's actually a huge part of his character arc. current dc writers will Never be able to capture garth in the right light if they continue to paint him as the same kind of sidekick the other titans were.
#sorry im in a very garth mood i will be exclusively talking about garth for like the next week at least#ajhladg#anyway#like im sorry but you can't turn the aquafam into the batfam you just can't#they have a fundamentally different relationship#like that was also a huge aspect of garth's relationship with the other titans#because they thought he was a coward and not cut out for the hero life#and that's because he literally Was Not trained for this! arthur took him in and it Just Kinda Happened#his training really consisted of him following arthur and arthur teaching him shit in the moment#and later on arthur does get more serious about it but again very big difference from the other titans#like literally garth has more of the classic mentor/mentee relationship with atlan than with arthur#garth of shayeris#a huge part of garth's character arc is him feeling like he doesn't deserve to be a hero because he Wasn't trained like the others#he didn't have as many skills didn't have the same confidence etcetc#the other titans were intentionally taken in to be a protégé or became one very Very early on in their life#garth was just going along for the ride man#like i think a really important aspect of his relationship with arthur is that garth never really saw him as A Mentor#he saw him as a dad and role model who occasionally taught him how to do cool shit#arthur was the one who pushed that mentor/mentee relationship and it blew him up in his face because that Wasn't them
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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the way I would have probably given Wuthering Waves another chance had I got Changli back then (I didn't)
#abbey doesn't play wuwa#like her design is so incredibly gorgeous#she would have made me come back to at least give it a second chance#but of course I didn't get her so I called it quits#I mean in a way it's for the better#because I wasn't having fun playing it anyway#but the story apparently got a lot better so idk?#still I feel like sooo many people dropped the game#and it's no wonder because it felt like a carbon-copy of Genshin#'if I wanted to play Genshin I would play Genshin' was the general sentiment#most of us actually did come back to Genshin lmao 😭#it's just... no one does it like Hoyo I fear#and to play an open-world game you either play 1 or none#2 open-world games at the same time is torture#I admire people who still play both#like how??? don't you get tired of having such a big ass map??#you're required to explore#you literally can't ignore that aspect of the game#good for them ig#I'm still gonna reblog stuff to support gif makers and bc the game still looks super nice though#but yeah I don't think I'll ever come back to it
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rip jecka you would’ve loved good graces by sabrina carpenter
#tried multiple times to put any coherent thoughts i had about the flip side into a post and this was the only thing that worked#so. take that how you will#(no but seriously the flip side was a big disappointment but idk what i was expecting lmfao#it’s just confirmation for me that these games (or at least aspects of them) are just a very elaborate fantasy of the creator#and that any attempts of social commentary or whatever isn’t genuine. you can’t poke fun at stereotypes when you’re the epitome of one!)#class of 09#song chicanery#my ted talk
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hi can I just say you seeing itsuomi as bi-coded is so big brained . we love bi itsuomi in this household <3 you're right and you SHOULD say it
All my current fav anime guys have had a Bisexual tone to them, it's only a given (just look at Fakir from Princess Tutu and Kyo Sohma from Fruits Basket and Ryuuji Takasu from Toradora and-----).
But what sets Itsuomi so much from them all is not just how open he is about complimenting and joking with the people around him, it's that he is also so so so active about talking things out and starting up a conversation. He doesn't want any misgivings or misunderstanding, the man WANTS to communicate because he's always wanted to reach out to people and to understand them and likewise have them understand him when the topics arise.
Itsuomi is not only Bi and Acespec coded he is also SO open-minded and a natural at genuine human connection. He travels not just to help the people around him but to also understand them as well and he doesn't shy away from starting up a conversation with them.
Fuck I love him. I have to continue Yubisaki fan arts someday.....
#I don't think it'll happen because of Itsu's dedication to Yuki BUT if the manga does make them temporarily separated due to Itsu's travels#then I honestly wouldn't mind that I think a big aspect of why I love Itsuomi and Yuki so much is because of the genuine trust they have#Yuki being the most perceptive of the two she understands him or tries to at least with the body language he gives her#And she's been shown to be VERY much independent!! She's so headstrong and has a solid ground on her feet and is such a bright personality!#So having an arc where they're separated for a long time would be a very interesting story to see.#To see them grow as individuals apart BUT at the same time they would want to keep their relationship via good communication and messaging!#like I feel A Sign of Affection might give us the BEST representation of a well established long distance relationship.#Like Itsuomi said he's gonna be away for 2 years at some point. And we still don't know when the manga will stop.#So I'm hoping we'll get to see that part of the story!! I'm genuinely excited for what Suu Morishita will bring out of these two#anyway Itsuomi has fucked me UP the last 2 chapters so I'm hoping we get to see Yuki be assetive on the next chapter when Oushi's back#a sign of affection#itsuomi nagi#dia talks#Anonymous#Asl
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Osc writing class. Teach these fellas how to use words
#i say that not unkindly of course but#i keep thinking of that poll and like so many of those options are#(of course)#things folks add cause they see other folks do it in their shows and think its cool#but they either dont know how to work with it or dont go all into it#(often both)#so its just. flat!#im not counting just trying to be trendy here cause like you can appeal to trends and still make them work in ur favour#like the only way you cant make this stuff work is when theres no heart to it#like if it doesnt come from you gut just throw it away or (at least) try to understand why theres no connection#rambles#it may be abundantly obvious that ive got a lot of big feelings abt the writing aspect of things
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dipping my toe into fandom discourse here, which is never a great idea, but—i really am baffled by the contingent of fans who apparently want AO3 to not only denounce but ban AI-generated works, as if there were any reliable way to distinguish between mediocre writing produced by a human and mediocre writing produced by an AI…?
#i saw someone say elsewhere‚ and agree‚ that all a ban would accomplish wld be to discourage fans who make use of AI from indicating as much#i do personally think the best writing won't be by AIs#or at least‚ it'll have been edited with a fine-toothed comb by a human who's got a really good sense of style and story themself#such that they could've produced the writing unaided‚ and the AI armature is just a crutch#but imo the big issues with AI are like. (1) the dataset it gets trained on—#though like. human artists *also* view other people's art and incorporate it into their body of influences‚ tbh?#we just get mad when they copy someone else's work TOO directly. but it's in their heads informing the art they produce!—#and (2) its potential to put humans out of work—which i have *huge* sympathy for‚ but also… that's been true of every machine ever invented#(also like. fandom is a gift economy‚ not paid work‚ so that aspect of things literally doesn't apply in an AO3 context.)#but like people have brought up the luddites in connection with this and. yeah.#ultimately there's always still a place for human operators and human oversight and human curation of the machines' raw output#and so ultimately i think we'll just have to work out what that place will be in this context#and in the meantime—i'd hope people would disclose when work has been created using AI#which they absolutely *won't* do if sites are out there banning it! people who want to use it will still use it‚ and just lie!#like you can say 'but then you don't get the satisfaction of knowing you're being praised for work *you* did‚ bc the AI did it!'#'surely that sense of being an impostor will discourage people!'#but like. hello. i've seen (and reported) multiple *very clear* instances of fic plagiarism.#the fact that those 'authors' were getting praised for‚ not only work they didn't do‚ but *someone else's* work‚ did not deter them!#saw someone going 'AO3 has its particular set of organizing principles & that's valid! we should just make our own sites where we ban AI!'#and like. hello: if your mini-archive gets popular enough that ppl want to be part of it‚ posters who use AI *will* just lie to you???#(i'm curious abt the overlap between that camp and users who think DNIs are effective‚ lol.)#anyway.#Fannish Ethical Concerns
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the way I would wither up and die like a flower given too much of something good if I saw a good omens thiam fic written like Paper Moon by Skaboom. it's insane to me that it hasn't been done yet. like not even a one-shot or smth??
UGH. I would lit-er-al-ly die.
#surely I can't have been the first person to think of this right?#it's so obvious and yet not at the same time#they both do and absolutely do not fit#like I don't think either of them would be as caring as azira or crowley#at least theo certainly wouldn't be he's just very very attached to his specific angel and no one else#he'll do nice things because liam gave him the special one-of-a-kind puppy-dog eyes but that is it#he'd learn to care eventually over many many manyyy centuries but for a very long time it's only bc of liam#which ofc he's both like aware of how he acts and is disgruntled by it and yet fully unaware of what this really means for him#and liam would definitely warm up to theo first though theo would be the azira in that aspect#theo is all “we are NOT friends I am a demon you are an angel!!!” and liam is just (; ´° ワ °`)ノ??#(except more angry on the outside. definitely they have had this argument for a few millennia and each time it leads to a big blow up)#but in the beginning they have a very rough relationship of liam going “ur the bad guy get away from me before I smite you”#and theo doing that smirk and calling liam's bluff (but not actually being fully certain just being quite hopeful he's right about liam)#before it switches the other way around once liam warms up to him after theo helps him a couple of times#but like. c'mon. you see it yeah?#btw this au needs a name someone tell me what to call it so I can find my posts about it easier lol#thiam#teen wolf
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I've just been playing the new cotl update for most of the day and I'm so so close to being done with the main new story bits I think but it's also past midnight but also I'm so excited idk if I'll be able to sleep but also god damn do I need to sleep
#rat rambles#and I know I wont have long to play when I wake up tomorrow since my friends will probably wanna continue our dont starve save#and I wanna too which is why I wont say no if they do but also aghhhhhh#Ill be able to finish it once they have to go to bed but thats so long Ill have to wait 😔#anyways I saved kalamar for last since hes the hardest originally but based off my current load out I think Ill be fine#aka literally every other bishop died in seconds due to my bomb demon being over level 30 lol#Im so glad they seem to scale further now its soooooo funny walking into a room with a boss and just watching them immediately explode#also Ive been using the golden fleece more and its been going pretty well#I got up to over 500% damage one run that was cool#Ive barely been touching the heavy attacks tho but tbf thats partially cause of keyboard mapping#Ive been having so so much fun with this update tho even if Im not a huge fan of a few aspects#this has brought so much more life to the combat portion to the game for me I havent had this much fun with the combat in a while#I do still need to collect all the rellics tho Im working on it#I also feel like I should buy all the new cards but man. none of them seem very appealing to me tbh#that is one of my big problems with cotl in general getting new cards can make it harder to get the more fun or useful ones#most of the actually useful cards are the base ones or ones given to you mostly for free#everything else is mildy useful or at least fun at best and actively useless at worst#like. ooo drop ichor on hit. wow. honestly give me deaths door at that point like jesus
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now that we're looking into our body past and finding way more signs that we've been plural for god knows how long, we've been leaning into more of the things we used to do very naturally to express our plurality and it's been kinda fun
#like how we used to have so many imaginary friends that lasted for far far longer than a kid should have imaginary friends#like. at least up to middle school#so when we were 12 or 13#and even when the imaginary friend aspect faded (and became a paracosm) we'd still stick to the same habits#of talking to them and not feeling like *i* was controlling what they were saying#and having them run around near us and interact with the environment like running alongside a car#we still do that a lot with imagining dragons flying alongside the car#and we've started to apply that to our sys now and it feels really natural and fun#we want to try and engage with some of our wayyyy older interests to see if maybe our 'imaginary friends' of them#could possibly be headmates we didn't register as headmates back then#the big evidence for those not being imaginary friends that we have is like. we didn't always Choose who we included in our cast#it was multiple different fictional characters from shows we liked and we didn't. pick which characters we got#bc the two main things we remember from back then#is 1: Matt got his arm broken at one point and it DIDN'T HEAL for 3 months and none of us knew why#like i was genuinely upset over the fact that i couldn't imagine it away i was so convinced i should be able to do that but i couldn't#and also 2: Matt missed his source friends but i couldn't ever get them to show up as imaginary friends#OH also 3: multiple times i tried to go 'i don't need imaginary friends anymore. goodbye' and they wouldn't fucking leave#and all this just. feels like how our sys works now#down to the 'i don't want you to be here. goodbye' (she's still there 4 years later) (very sorry hope we were just scared)#(we were like NOT AN INTROJECT OF *HER* and attempted to will her to become someone else but instead we just got one of each)#(we've learned to stop doing that now)
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#yes dungeon meshi is a story about the neurodivergent experience (and many many other things)#but through that lens it is also basically autistic wishfullfillment#where people come to see and appreciate you for who you are and your specific special interest is tantamount to saving the world!#and so OF COURSE the two most obviously autistic characters are going to have people who deeply care about them#both despite and because of their autistic traits!!
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heehee hoo i love anxiety i love being anxious over people not reblogging my stuff
#BTW LIKE IF YOU DONT REBLOG SOMETHING I MAKE JUST BECAUSE YOURE NOT INTERESTED IN IT THATS OK!!!!!#i post stuff that I Like and thats good enough for me and i dont wanna force anyone to reblog my stuff if they dont wanna!!!!!!!!!#i just. sometimes get really nervous like what if they arent reblogging it because i did something wrong what if i drew the character wrong#and now everyone hates me and thats why they arent reblogging...............#[uh it gets kinda rambly/vent-y past here feel free to ignore idm]#what if i drew or said something wrong and it means im racist/ableist/what have you#*posts cute doodle* haha what if i accidentally promoted ableist stereotypes#WHAT IF I HAD A BAD TAKE ABOUT The Character AND IM ONE OF THOSE FANS THAT PEOPLE VAGUEPOST ABOUT LIKE#not to point any fingers but ughhh#some people in this fandom really get on my nerves (tumblr wont let me use quotation marks???)#its even more nerve racking when the fandom is small like#if you have a Cringe Take in a fandom like sonic or pokemon its such a big fandom you might not get as much attention for it because theres#so many other people but when the fandom has like 5 people its way harder to ignore#thinks.#when i think about it a lot of my worries are centered around fae actually#what if the way i draw her is infantilizing!!!!!!!!! what if im being annoying by drawing her so much!!!!!!! what if i only have a surface#level understanding of her character!!!!!!! and most of how i perceive her is just headcanons and projection!!!!!!!!!!!#same goes with almer like i dont really talk about him much although im less. anxious about it? because i just dont talk about him as much#ecause i havent really studied him as a character in depth and stuff#HEY SUPERGIANT GIVE HIM MORE SCREENTIME GOSH DANG IT#um anyways#oh yeah what if i have a bad take about the character and im accidentally ableist or something!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaa#and like like like i am guilty ofthe not fully grasping her character thing or at least like for some reason i either forget or ignore her#interest/connection with the scribes despite that being like. an Important Part of her character and i feel kinda bad about that#same with almer and cur culture/tradition and stuff#YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE IGNORING MAJORLY IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF THEIR CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BUFFOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU DONT DESERVE TO HAVE THEM AS YOUR BLORBOS IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEM/APPRECIATE THEM PROPERLY!!!!!!!#NOW THE MOB WILL COME FOR YOU#hhhhgggggg#hm. uh that was way more words than i expected !
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Character asks!
These are more focused on the background stuff rather than the usual "what would the character do in XY situation" kinds of asks. I've been looking for something like this for quite a while and in the end decided to make my own. Feel free to use, go wild, enjoy
What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?
How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)
What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?
And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?
How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?
What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?
What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?
What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?
How big is their role in the story? Do they make a frequent appearance or are they a character with little "screentime" but big influence? Or are they just a favourite background guy?
What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?
Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?
Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?
Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?
Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?
Have you ever made a moodboard for them?
Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?
Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?
Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?
What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?
Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about
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