#or at least I can’t find it idk
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Y’all ever spend.. 2+ hours consuming fan content for a ship for a show you Refuse to watch?
Anyways Tweek and Craig are so cute together and they love each other
#no one’s written the smut about them that I want to read yet#or at least I can’t find it idk#like Craig just absolutely grounding Tweek by bringing him so far out of his brain he has no choice but to chill#idk I love them for some reason#OH is this because I have a savior complex#mm probably#damn#anyways#creek#craig x tweek#I will NEVER watch South Park though I don’t think#I caved with Rick and Morty. I willingly went after Bojack Horseman. I will NOT succumb to South Park#I’ve watched like the first and most recent episodes and I’ve watched a good few clips on TikTok but NEVER full eps chronologically#some of those fics were pretty damned good#I now also know Tolkien and Clyde and am fans of those guys as well
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interrupting loquat week w shinobu 😇
#natsuyuu#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#my art#shinobu#miss matoba#going to word vomit on why i love her so bear w me ^_^#the idea of matoba having a sister an older sister that can’t see youkai is genuinely my favorite foil to seiji#ty midorikawa for creating her#i find it so interesting that even though people knew seiji was probably going to take over as clan head instead of her yet maintaining face#and trying to make up for it in things like dresses and portraits kind of signifies (to me at least) how her time in the clan was#no one caring about her besides treating her like the lady of the clan#AND THE WAY NO ONE SAID A WORD ABOUT HER .#about her EXISTENCE.#it’s probably kept a secret just because it’d be a lot of drama but still#also the watch youkai that she made (if i remember correctly) so that she can see ? hot.#i’m just now realizing that anytime seiji mentions her he always says sister ?? he never says her name??#idk it’s late sorry lol#also i need midorikawa to establish the age gap for these two bc if not imma just keep running w what im doing#i feel like shinobu’s at least 3 years older#if not more#ok bye
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you say you're very picky about wind's character so what do you look for?
Generally just... stuff where he acts like he actually does in lu.
I try not to grouch a lot about fandom stereotypes because that’s not very fun for anyone, but man some of them are annoying. I won’t get into complaining about them because I’m sure y’all don’t want to hear me being negative, but I could rant lol. I’ll focus on what I do look for since that’s what you asked.
Wind is 13 years old. He’s a kid, but he’s also been through two (three possibly if st counts) adventures. He’s seen as an adult (or at least, starting into adulthood) at home on his island, a young adult, but still well on his way to manhood. He was already fairly responsible before his adventures and things, since he’s a big brother and helps care for his sister and I’m sure helps his grandma with things. He’s got his lazy moments for sure, and seems pretty carefree at times, but he can handle a crisis and is used to having responsibility.
In lu he’s sort of been tossed to the bottom of the chain of command (so to speak), and I think that’s really hard for him. Several of the others see him as just a kid, and therefore someone to protect, but Wind is a hero. He doesn’t want to be treated like he’s incapable because he’s not. And while some characterizations of Wind take his reactions to being underestimated and treated like a kid to the extreme, it’s shown that he actually doesn’t mind some affection from the older Links, and he does act his age, fairly often, actually.
It’s more like... Wind is okay with being 13, but he doesn’t want that to be just how people judge him. He doesn’t want to be evaluated by his age, he wants to be evaluated by his actions and skill. He wants to be seen as what he is. A hero. Not just a teenager.
I think he just wants to be seen as an equal among the other heroes.
Time realizes this, since he went through similar days of being underestimated due to age vs experience, but the others do seem to struggle with it, Twilight especially. It seems like it’s been better ever since Wind snapped at them for it after Wild was stupid that one time, but I wonder if it’ll come up again at some point.
...But I’m getting off-track.
I don’t know if any of that makes sense, but I pretty much only read stuff focused on Wind if it treats him as more than just a cussing rebellious teenager. More like a young adult who’s been through a lot for his age and learned how to swing a sword and killed a man, but can still be goofy and innocent and not know all the answers yet. Idk.
#I just have trouble finding stuff where I like how he’s characterized *shrug*#answers from the floor#lovely mermain123#and that’s not to say wind can’t be rebellious#of course he can!! pretty much all teenagers do that at least a bit#but he’s never rebellious in a way that would actually make sense for him#plus he’s always so mean. why would he be mean???#wind is the sweetest guy ever and he loves his grandma and sister WHY WOULD HE BE MEAN#i mean he can be mean sometimes but not like. MEAN mean#but again idk#it could just be me#plus like.#why do fandoms always have to make the kids swear excessively anyway? what’s even the point?#I don’t get it#SORRY I said I wouldn’t rant. I’ll stop.
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People love ragging on Catholics on this site (fast free and easy like river water socks) but I think it’s extra funny y’all seem to think Catholics are some sort of sex prudes. Like, if a Catholic man does not give his wife an orgasm he is failing his sworn duties as a husband. I did not endure polite insinuations that my parents fucked often and well to have as many kids as they have for you to act like any self respecting Catholic is a celibate virgin. Laypeople have sex in this denomination Kaitleign. What are we, Calvinists? Jansenism is soooo 17th century Protestant Reformation-informed heresy.
#ra speaks#personal#not tagging otherwise bc tbh I can’t remember if it was formally declared a heresy or if aspects of its teachings were papally condemned#and I don’t want any um actually 🤓 people in my notes or inbox.#anyways. point is I’m sorry you’re culturally Christian USAmerican Protestant and just finding out Catholics often have mandatory sex ed#at least my school did + my grandma had an amazing little book about Catholic marriage sex tips akdjwhfjsjssj#if you’re Catholic and under the impression that fucking wasn’t supposed to be important…idk sorry your catechist didn’t ever cover like.#humanae vitae or any other encylcicles on sexuality and reproduction.#idk if it was an effort to inform/combat congregational abuse (eg. we know kids w sex ed are more likely to report/recognize abuse)#but my school was pretty damn blunt about it all. here’s a dick and all it’s anatomy. here’s a vagina and all it’s anatomy.#fucking and touching is supposed to be between a married man and woman (as expected)#but it’s also supposed to be fun and shouldn’t hurt and if it’s not and does hurt you need to communicate w them or reach out to a doctor#like. this was early 2010s im still fucking baffled my parochial school Franciscan nuns gave us a better grasp of sex ed than my high schoo#public school sex ed. the teacher there justified emotional abuse and manipulation if it’s against a guy.#and it’s not like their queer sex ed existed beyond ‘and this can be between two people of any gender’ clauses#anyways. you know me have fun and be safe im just tickled to see ppl think their experiences and expectations are universal.
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I was busy within the hour this released. but I'm here now and. ... oh boy just bear with me
youtube
I'm gonna just... copy/paste my initial thoughts as I watched this, here, for the next couple lines:
Final Results:
Now listen to me, I need to scream into the void all my newfound realizations and woes but it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to wake up early the next day. So understand that I'm making this as short as gayly possible (it may not be short at all).
Aside from all the lesbian saxophone that my eyes just witnessed, which is a scream that will never make contact with any airwaves - digital or otherwise - ... The last two minutes of that trailer were entirely unexpected.
Now don't get me fucking wrong I wasn't NOT paying attention to the section of the teaser during the livestream that showed us a glimpse of Black Swan's fear and surprise drowning in that fiery background. but. ... bro— FUCKING COME ONNNN MAN!!
HOW FAST THE SCENE FLIPPED, HOW QUICKLY- WHATEVER THAT THING (IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE ACHERON WE KNOW) WAS TOOK THE LEAD and LITERALLY tossed Black Swan around like a helpless bird. a PREDATOR chasing their PREY
AND THE PREY IS BLACK FUCKING SWAN???? THE FUCKING MEMOKEEPER FROM THE GARDEN OF RECOLLECTION?? THE MYSTERIOUS AND ELEGANT SOOTHSAYER???
To see Black Swan of ALL characters in this game so far be filled with such visceral fear and trepidation, to be tossed around at the MERCY of something that could have so EASILY killed her just like. t h a t. is beyond insane.
I expected it to be more of a "What terrible horrors have you commited?" 'Wow! Horrors that even Black Swan thinks is terrible, Acheron is capable of s-' no she literally almost killed her. She's not a human by the way. Black Swan is not a human being anymore she is like. coNdEnseD mEmORy AND SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
also, we love Allegra Clark in this house this woman is hilarious
#everything I've (HSR pfp obviously) said in these screenshots is completely /j but also I'm dead serious#holy shit#Honkai#Honkai: Star Rail#Honkai Star Rail#HSR#Black Swan when I catch you#you dastardly unapologetic lesbian#actually a fuck around -> find out moment#Allegra Clark the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE#the way you can see BS desperately try to fly away numerous times only for Acheron to drag her back and tear her to shreds more and more#ridiculous#utterly ridiculous#how did they do it#idk if y'all get it I really hold Black Swan to this imperceptible standard#like she really is a divine being (in my mind at least)#her ability to perceive the things that may very well happen in the near & distant future is a CRAZY thing#and it makes her seem so untouchable#so for them to take it to. THIS. extent I just.... I just could never have readied myself for it#Black Swan#Acheron#HSR Acheron#HSR Black Swan#Honkai Star Rail animated short#Rondo Across Countless Kalpas#I loved everything about the trailer btw#Youtube#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost star rail edition#ALSO!! Arryn Zech’s voice is out to get me. CAN’T believe I nearly forgot to mention that
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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this is so ???
#stream#girl ….#ok well not the commentary but the beef w this is that it’s fat = unhealthy & it’s not the case#like girl …. IM UNHEALTHY#PPL JUST SAY IM HEALTHY BC PHYSICAL I LOOK IT#but internally i am A Mess#Not Including Mental Issues#he came here w no photo & i sent face ? he responded w pics & i POLITELY DECLINED#GET OUT OF MY DMS TWINK#he sent ‘how big is ur dick’ & when i said ‘small :(‘ he responds w ‘& u fuck fat guys ? how does that work ?’ ‘w patience & determination#lol’ & then he said ‘u passed’ like girl what !!! PASSED WHAT !!! I PASSED U UP 2ND MESSAGE#but honestly he is soooo pretty i can’t block him bc i want to find out how he’s skinny#then i’ll block him ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#i loveeeee using peopleeeeee#it’s called winning#like also he genuinely would look hot like after surpassing at least 100kg so i mean#‘so he’s 25kg ?’ no bitch hes probably like 70 MAYBE#so 170kg ?????? owo#like i think my typical minimum is like 188cm 115kg so like idk#+3 cm/4kg / -3cm/2kg#u know proportionally#i’m so HORNYYYYYYYY#i need this dealer to come EXACT at 8.30 so i can fuck this DADDY HOPEFULLY TONIGHT#ok but also low key i’m just trying to goad him into become a feedee#like ALSKALKSLAKSLASLALKSLAKSLA#he has Fattening Potential#I can Mould Him
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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Hi loves I only have $109 in my account after buying groceries yesterday…
I’m waiting to hear back from jobs still. My only source of income currently is from online surveys & that does not add up to much at all.
Any help (tips, reblogs etc) in getting by until I land a job is extremely appreciated!
Venmo: @Grubcore
Ko-fi: grubcore (you can look through some of my art on here!)
#ebegging#I’m canceling all my future therapy appointments bc I can’t afford them rip#groceries and subway fares are pretty much all I’m buying#HOPEFULLY I’ll hear back from some jobs I applied to soon but idk I’ve been searching for months with no luck 🫠#hard to get a job in NYC it’s so competitive even for min wage ones & i don’t have a degree#not glitter text#all my work experience is specific to environmental science n it’s impossible to find *paid* work like that in nyc without a degree at least#it’s all park volunteering I need something that pays & I don’t have to stand to do (POTS syndrome)#disabled trans college dropout problems
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Genshin things that I will ignore in canon:
Diluc and Kaeya exchanging letters to each other during his 3-4 year revenge quest
Kid Kaeya was a perfect angel who never did anything wrong
Adult Kaeya is a perfect angel who never did anything wrong
(Let the man be morally dubious that’s when he’s most interesting. Plus his recent characterization is inconsistent with his earlier one and his bio lore)
Yae Miko tormenting every single Inazuma guy character (her silly rivalry with Itto can stay it’s funny)
60% of the Venti alcohol jokes (they aren’t funny most of the time. The only time it’s funny is times like when Beidou wouldn’t let Venti and Kazuha drink despite them both being of legal drinking age)
Paimon being the travelers voice (I’m in the minority where I like Paimon as I feel she’s the travelers annoying little sister and with that in mind she’s written rather well but I do agree with everyone who’s annoyed with how she speaks for the traveler. While I’ve never published any fanfics in a lot of my ideas Paimon ends up getting a bit shafted due to me not really knowing what to do with her because outside of being the travelers voice she doesn’t do all that much.)
Most of the Inazuma main story (if I want to I can be willfully ignorant and enjoy the story but after reading gold-rhine’s Inazuma re-write I can never go back)
The traveler being a jerk to Furina at the beginning of her story quest. (In character for Paimon but the traveler I think would at least be a little more understanding and would try to get Paimon to stop guilt tripping her)
Finally, the traveler fails to get Charlotte any scoops from the fortress of meropide. (I know why but they did waste a bunch of her money and that feels mean)
#genshin impact#extra: 90% of fandom jokes#the aren’t funny and most end up as wild mischaracterozations#tbh most of what I’m annoyed with in Genshin either has to do with gameplay or fandom#I’m pretty good at enjoying stories regardless of quality#one of my favorite games is Fire Emblem Fates#a lot of my Kaeya beef comes from Diluc being my first fave#I read a bunch of good fics that treat the whole thing with nuance and how neither of them were in the right and they both screwed up#and now like 90% is all about Kaeya#or shipping#I’m neutral to most ships#I got Stockholm syndromed into like Neuvilette x Wriothesley#I have at one point activly seeked out Childe x Zhongli#I’m fine with a bunch of popular ones (JeanLisa Eulamber etc)#but so much of Genshin fandom is shipping and because of that it’s so hard to find fics of characters I like without it#that’s why I got stockholmed into liking Neuvilette x Wriothesley#because so many interesting fic premises had it in there it was like or be unable to read those fics#plus I like aro/ace Diluc and I actively headcanon a lot of characters to be somewhere on the aro and or ace spectrum#this is less of a thing I’m ignoring and more of a this makes no sense thing but#in the long ass multi update fontain side quest there is a girl who grew up in the fortress of meropide#and it seems ooc for Wriothesley not either have not noticed her existence or to have done nothing about it#but I can’t ignore it because the quest wouldn’t make sense without her#so for me he knows and is trying to do something about it but can’t get her out for whatever reason#idk something about her not existing on Fontaines people records of something#the least he could do is ask some of the guards to look after her and keep her safe and happy#that’s my explanation
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guys i’m stuck in a black hole creatively someone help
#send me characters to sketch send me brush packs u enjoy send me a cool 4 hour video essay if u want!!!!!#my hand is rebelling and refuses to work#also ik i said i wanted to focus on that fun monoline style but i don’t like it anymore and my hand doesn’t want to do it!!!!!!!!!!!#i just can’t figure out how to color and line (!!!!!!! literally have yet to find a procreate brush that lines the way i want :/ but o well)#in the way that i want things to look at least#idk#idk idk idk!!
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I need a good main 8 fic to read once I’m done with the semester. Recommendations are accepted
#or at least a good pokeshipping rec#idk why i just can’t find good fics any more#and the only good ones I’ve found are incomplete#pokemon#anipoke#pokeshipping#ash ketchum#misty
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Had to physically restrain myself from putting on the next episode today this show has me in a vice grip I swear
#like I thought the other cliff hangers were bad but you’re telling me Joe shot someone and I’m not gonna find out who???#it’s deffo not the rogue guy I’m calling it being the accountant man idk his name#at least I hope it’s him I don’t want it to the uni girl and the reporters at least entertaining the accountants just annoying#and like obvs Abby’s got her whole thing going on but I’m sorry the train is having more drama than you rn#anyway had to stop otherwise I’d end up watching the last 2 episodes and being up past midnight on a London day which we Can’t Do so instead#we’ve been good and restrained ourselves and we’re gonna watch them tomorrow instead#idk why we’re talking in the royal we. it’s just me watching it. well me watching the show and my sister and her boyfriend watching me watch#the show cuz apparently that’s entertaining for them#nightsleeper
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thinking about how raph, april, and mikey are less focused on by the fandom than donnie and leo, the only two main characters in rottmnt with white voice actors
#to be clear this is not a “callout” nor am i trying to inspire discourse/attack anybody#it’s just something i’ve been thinking about for a while that i feel deserves more... ig recognition? by the fandom at large#like i know a part of it is definitely the shows’ fault and their own unspoken biases#but i can’t turn a blind eye when i see human versions of the turtles that consistently have see and lee be lighter skinned#even if they are all represented as poc#like to reiterate: this is not a call-out#it could absolutely just be the niche of the fandom that i find myself in (in which this is a massive self report)#and i absolutely need to do better as well!!#but i haven’t seen this talked about as much as i feel it should#esp with april— i mean i already am aware about the fandom bias toward male characters#but it makes it doubly hard for her character which is a shame seeing as she is a queen#+ my fav representation of april in the entirety of the tmnt canon so far#i understand with mikey that it could be excused due to the fact that his character was focused on less#but raph? he has sooo much good characterization that i often see given to leo in fic/fanart#like i said: this is a lot more nuanced than what i’ve talked about#and i am by no means perfect#i just think we as a fandom should at the very least recognize this aspect of ourselves#idk i’m definitely not the best person to be talking about this#but i’ve been turning it over in my head for a while so i figured i might as well just. say it#rottmnt#rottmnt meta#racism#tw racism#internal bias#if anybody has something to add feel free#just like. be civil please? like i don’t think anyone is doing it on purpose (obviously)#just something to be aware of
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my workplace is gonna have extended hours coming up so my life is going to be miserable for 2 months starting in 2 weeks
#i guess i should just give up on having a sleep schedule or any routine or a life outside of work#how can i leverage my seniority to make my situation better. idk if i can since my managers don’t particularly like me it seems#i’m also like way too embarrassed to be like hey. please don’t make my life hell as much#when that’s pretty much the whole gig during the holidays#whatever. it’s so busy in december that it kind of flies by in a haze#not in a good way but at least it doesn’t drag#and it will be fun probably for 2 weeks + then it will be fun to complain about for another week before there’s nothing fun about it anymore#whatever i just need to find a way to frame it in my mind so that it’s not torture#like pretend i’m in a video game or something#and drink an absurd amount of coffee every day#maybe i should try to find a psychiatrist or something before it gets too busy. like if possible#get back on antidepressants because even my current mental health baseline is not good rn. tbh#idk just pondering. i want to make it through the winter still alive + employed + not failing out of my certificate program#(+ i’m already on thin ice with that last goal. i can’t get away with another fuck up)#anyway this is so dramatic but it really is the shittiest time of the year
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