#or answered extremely disingenuously when questioned

[layzeal]

wei wuxian opening up to lan wangji at the foot of the burial mounds about why he can't simply stop cultivating the ghost path was his cat equivalent of rolling on his back and exposing his stomach while trusting lwj would not touch it

[i-mean-y-not]

ACCEPTANCE

Connie’s mother doesn’t care for you. In fact, you heard that you were the worst thing that happened to her son.

You can’t cook she says.

You’re a little too thick she says.

You don’t dress appropriately she says.

You don’t give a damn is what you used to say. But as the years go on, the worse it gets. She’s a short thing. Maybe four foot five on a good day. But her words dig at you every chance they get. Her heritage makes her that way she claims to Constance—what she and no one else calls him.

You’re in love with a man that never stood up to his mother.

Never defended you. Wouldn’t raise his voice at her in the slightest. And definitely wouldn’t bring you around for the longest time.

Connie says his mom has always been like this. Disapproving of every woman he’s ever brought home, and you begin to realize that the pattern has nothing to do with the women and everything to do with her. The rest of his family is kind, welcoming, you feel as though you’re part of the family around them. But his mother is one of the most disingenuous people you’ve ever met in your life.

You try your best when you first meet her. Bring her flowers, a fruit basket, and even going out of your way to buy her a personalized recipe book.

Connie often bragged about his mom’s cooking and said that her dream before she had all eight of her kids was to open her own restaurant. You figured this would be the closest thing that she would get.

But when you showed up looking modest and bearing gifts, she scoffed at you. And in her heavily accented voice told Connie, something that sounded very much like an insult. He merely rubbed at the back of his neck and grimaced.

You love him. That’s why you stay. But love is beginning to unravel your insides.

You never want to go to his family’s house for events. And to be honest, you don’t want to be seen with him. So when he leaves you stay home, claiming that you have errands to run.

When he asks, “Hey fat butt, wanna run to the store with me?” The only answer you give is a quiet shake of your head.

He notices immediately.

And he doesn’t chalk it up to hormones, or emotions, or even insecurity. He simply thinks you’re mad at him. He pesters you about it, often. With three months that it’s been happening, he hasn’t figured out the reason for your distance.

So when Thanksgiving rolls around he asks again, you offer another half truth and decline.

This time, however, he doesn’t let you get away with it. He pauses with his shoe halfway on his foot and lifts and eyebrow and question.

“What do you mean?” he responded to the answer you just gave him. It was a simple, no, but somehow his mind can’t warp around that.

“ I mean no, Connie. I’m going home.”

He looks at his you again albeit briefly. “Right, so what time will you be ready?”

Your eyes shifted to the side in slight confusion and instead of thinking the question you ask it out loud. “ Ready for what?”

In a clearly exasperated tone he declares, “To go to my parent’s house.”

Now you sigh and take a brief moment to collect your emotions. You ride to your feet slowly and mumble, “I said I’m going home, Connie.”

He looks off to the side and shakes his head slowly as if you’re the dumb one. “Yeah, I know. And your home is wherever I am so, get up and get dressed.”

You blink several times in irritation and your face is full of irritation when you say, “Did you not hear me, Constance?”

He hates his full name.

You’re not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the dead dad that he’s named after. Or the way it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. You know this, but you figure the only way to get him to listen is to piss him off.

That’s all you’ve been doing lately, both of you. He pisses you off by not listening, and you piss him off by not obeying. He takes a calming breath, and after putting on his simple, simple, gold chain, the crosses arms in indignation.

Connie is multifaceted. He could be extremely frustrating when he doesn’t get his way, but he can also be extremely accommodating if he does. But today. Today, it seems like the accommodation is going out of the window.

He pinches the bridge of his nose before uttering, “Fuck is there your problem?”

The one thing you won’t tolerate is disrespect.

So you fold your lips, before you say something you shouldn’t. Then, you take a few steps towards the closet and nod.

“Okay, Connie.” He takes it as a win.

You can see it in the way his lip quirks up slightly. You grab a nude sweater, khaki pants and thigh high brown boots. Once you’re done with your simple make make up you turn your head back to him.

“Ready.” To him it looks like he’s won. But you it looks like you’ve lost.

The small smile still fades on his lips when you snatch your keys off of the hook by the front door. “What are you doing?”

He grabs at your hand in frustration. “I’m driving.”

“You’re pissing me off. You know that?”

You give a small wince when you utter, “Likewise.”

This conversation has been a long time coming. And you’re itching to scream out your injustice. He watches as you put your keys back on the hook where they belong and proceed to take the bathroom. Your makeup takes you all of ten minutes and once you’re dressed, you’re reaching for your keys once again.

He’s there in a flash. Grabbing your wrist, gently, but with enough pressure to let you know he’s there. It doesn’t scare you. He shuts his eyes for a brief moment in what you assume is frustration.

How funny is it now that the shoe is on the other foot. Before an argument ensues, you swipe some lip gloss on and smile gently. “I’m going home, Connie and that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I just love me too.”

That does something. Although you’ve never really voiced it, he knows. Your tolerance, acceptance even is a challenge. Showing up to dinners and gatherings you weren’t invited to made things much worse than they were. Through it all you grin and bear it. Not because you want to, but because you love him.

That love outweighs the pain of rejection. But that love doesn’t come close to healing already irreparable damage caused. He sits his keys down and then he turns to you with the most sincere look on his face. His caramel turtleneck compliments his eyes and the khaki chinos tie in with his mahogany loafers.

“Okay,” he says, and holds his arms out when he sits on the bed. “Come here.”

You hesitate, not because you’re scared but because you’re worried that this conversation is way beyond its expiration date.

He pats at the space that he’s intentionally left open for you between and his legs and you’re sinking into his embrace immediately. As soon as you’re in his arms he begins his declaration. “First of all, let me say this. Even if I could live a million lives, I’d want to live them with you every time. Being with you isn’t a choice, princesa. You understand? You affect my whole being, my very existence.”

Damn if he isn’t dramatic. With a small smile into his shoulder you begin to murmur. He can’t hear you.

You can barely hear you, but he grasps your chin and his hazel green eyes glows as he hums in question. “What’s that, mami?”

You look up and your lash line is already wet when you say, “I’m tired, Connie.”

His lips turn into a sad smile and he nods in agreement. “I know.”

Somehow he gets you to acquiesce and not before compromise. He takes you to your parents and you laugh and talk for about two hours before you’re saying your goodbyes. The car ride is silent to his mom’s house. You’re literally twiddling your thumbs in anxiety. Despite your feelings, you’ve decided that it doesn’t matter. You love him and although he’s selfish sometimes, and cries at beauty and the beast, he’s still yours.

And you are his. It’s in the way he holds your hand and drags his fingers over your knuckles. The way he cries when you do. But the reason you stay is simply the way he gets you. It takes a look to understand what you’re feeling and an errant sigh to put him on alert.

When you greet his mother—this time empty handed— she gives you that same depreciating look over. Once again your stomach unfurls in anxiety, but this time, Connie squeezes your hand lightly. He walks past her and gently gives a small nod in greeting.

You’re sure the entire family can sense the discord between you three. Connie, however acts as if this behavior is normal. Blatantly disregarding his mother when she asks a question it speaks to him in general.

When you sit at the Thanksgiving table to eat, you’re lost for a little bit. Albeit, being with Connie for two years has given you a glimpse into Dominican society, and let’s not forget the language.

It all comes to a climax when you ask Connie for a bottle of water at the dinner table.

Almost as soon as he disappears through the kitchen doorway, she mumbles, in plain English, “She has two legs.” Your eyes snap to her at the head of the table and with a little laugh you nod.

You don’t think it’s disrespectful to stand up for yourself. Quite the opposite, you believe. As you’ve gotten older, you’ve gotten much more comfortable with saying what you want.

“Mrs. Springer? Is there a problem?” Your tone isn’t abrasive or rude and you patiently wait for an answer, genuinely confused. What had you ever done to deserve the treatment you’ve received? Not a thing you can recall.

So you draw your shoulders back and look at her straight in her eyes. “Is it because Connie is your baby boy? Or the fact that you just don’t think I’m worthy? I’m trying my best to make your son happy, but I can’t- I won’t deal with this anymore.”

There’s an almost frightening hush over the dinner table and when the hairs rise on the back of your neck, you know that Connie probably heard every word that just came out of your mouth.You can’t bring yourself to apologize. And you won’t. Although you know he’s behind you, the words you push out of your mouth taste like bitter bile.

“I will leave your son,” you declare. Your voice breaks as you continue and a tear falls down your cheek. “I will. He is the love of my life; but I will.”

“Like hell you are,” Connie grumbles from directly behind you.

He grasps your hand in comfort as you continue. “I know that he loves you and he wants approval from you that he’ll never get. I’m not your punching bag, I won’t even get in the ring with you. So if you want a fight, I forfeit. You can have him all to yourself.”

The hand that Connie has grabbed feels a tight squeeze and that’s all it takes for you to close your mouth. He takes over from there.

With a nod at you he whispers, “Get your coat, mami.” Your mouth pops open in confusion, but he simply offers you a smile.

“Trust me.” And you do, irrationally so. Not because you love him, but because he’s never given you a reason not to. So you leave, because he asked you to. The walk to get your coat is the longest. In the modest five generation home that has one bathroom and three bedrooms, it takes you way longer to get your coat than it should. The underlying message was to stay with the coat.

But you can’t help but wait just beyond the entryway of the kitchen as Connie—for the first time you’ve seen it—corrects his mother. A mix or English and Spanish is spoken and being around him long enough, you pick up a word or two. His family from the left side of the table—which is what you can see— all sit with their mouth agape.

You understand when he begins to speak in English, code switching, I’m sure to drive home his point. “I love her and I’m going to marry her. If you want to be in my life anymore, this has to stop. I appreciate you and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done, but I’m my own person and you don’t have to approve of the woman I love. You’re going to stop disrespecting her or these little gatherings? Don’t bother inviting me to them anymore. ¿Tú entiendes?”

The silence that rocks the entire house is stifling. This is what you wanted. Right? But somehow, the joy doesn’t compare to the hate you just realized you have for Connie. All this time, he hasn’t opened his mouth to defend you and now that he has…you think it might be too late. The realization hits you like a current at sea that sweeps you away before anyone can notice. It’s a scary thing to fall out of love so quietly you never see it coming.

Neither does he.

“Let’s end this, Constance.”

The words come out louder and softer than you intend. His newly trimmed head snaps towards your voice and his eyebrows wrinkle in puzzlement.

“End what?”

He says and by the look in his eyes, he already knows. So when you motion a hand between you and him limply, he lets out a small chuckle. “We’re not ending anything, __.”

Connie would never force you to do anything let alone beg you to stay, but the tears that form on his waterline makes you second guess that entirely. And for a moment, you completely forget his family is here.

That is until his mother emits a sound that sounds very close to a snort.

“Take me home, please.” you request, calmly.

With his eyebrows drawn so far down you’re afraid they’ll reach his nose, he breathes out, “You are home, princesa.”

His hand taps at the middle of his chest and the tears you’ve been holding onto for two years come spilling out. You don’t want to do this in front of his family. You don’t want to do this at all. But you want to be free again. Not to explore other options but to cherish the man you used to love.

You don’t say another word.

You don’t have to.

With your coat in hand and your phone in the other, you’re walking right back out of the door you entered.

He follows. Of course he does.

“Hey,” he whispers with a hand at your wrist. “What’s wrong?”

There’s a waterfall coming down your face when you reply, “I’m done, Connie.”

“With me?” Is his immediate reply.

You take a step back out of his reach and rub at your arm to comfort yourself. “Yeah. I think so.”

“Why?” His voice sounds garbled, like he can’t quite get the word out without fighting through emotions that physically pain him.

“She’s never gonna approve of me.” He shakes his head quietly. “Doesn’t matter.”

You want to believe him, but you can’t. The faith you once had in him has essentially vanished. Despair replaces it. “It does! That’s your mother and I’m tired of fighting a battle I’ll always lose. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

His sadness gives way to anger now. It’s spoken in the way he shoves his hands in his pockets and tongues at his cheek. “After two years?” 

You don’t know how to respond, honestly.

If you’re being completely transparent, you’re not sure you care. All this anguish that pours out of him is the same feeling that’s been pooling in your gut ever since you met his mother.

You don’t intend to be cold but you simply ask. “Can you take me home?”

You see the fight leave him.

His hands find their way out of his pockets and they shake when he grabs the keys to his car and unlocks it. He opens the passenger side door for you to get in silently and closes it gently once you’re in the seat safely. He gets into the drivers seat and looks over at you, face red and brimming with unchecked emotion.

“I love you,” he whispers.

You simply respond, “ I know.”

[wordstome]

Thanks for everything, but it’s time to close up shop.

Hello, everybody. Sorry for this post being a portent of doom, but I feel like you all deserve better than radio silence. Originally, I went on hiatus because I got busy with school and work. This is still true—real life is getting in the way of me being able to write creatively, which I haven’t done in a while.

However, I think it would only be fair for me to admit that I’m just not as into COD anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been into the games and always have been a fan of the little fandom of writers here, but I have to admit that part of my difficulty writing is just not being as into the content anymore. Most of it is just naturally moving on from something you used to like, but I also feel uninspired and weird about the idea of writing fanfiction about the military nowadays.

TO BE CLEAR: I don’t suddenly think that all my fellow writers are doing something problematic and amoral, and I vehemently do not want my departure from creating fan works to be used as some sort of gotcha to attack other writers. I don’t think any of us respect the military or US imperialism (I hope not) and I think the tumblr subsection of fandom is especially aware that COD is military propaganda. What we do here is writing about characters, not the institution they operate in. A lot of cod fanfiction doesn’t even take place in the military. I also haven’t drifted away because some writers make heavier/darker content, so I’m squashing that discourse before it has a chance to start.

It would also be disingenuous to say that I drifted away solely because of fandom discourse, but it certainly didn’t help. Thankfully, I only caught the tail end of a recent…controversy? Discourse? Involving other creators. It’s exhausting and disheartening to see this sort of thing happen, but I also realize it’s kind of inevitable that feathers will be ruffled when subjects like racism against Gaz are addressed, and that doesn’t mean we should just stop talking about those subjects. I don’t have a good solution to this and I don’t mean to complain about something that’s just a part of human nature. I just can’t pretend that it isn’t really demoralizing to see people acting poorly and the internet slapfights that result from it. I hope those involved in the recent incident are taking care of themselves. ❤️

Anyway, if you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. I have a lot of love left for this fandom, and especially my fellow creators who I have come to consider genuine friends. I feel a deep obligation to everyone who reads and interacts with my work, and I can’t continue to leave people waiting when I know it is, most likely, over. So, to be clear: this is the end of my COD writing journey. I won’t be writing any more or continuing any of my fics.

All of my works, both here and on AO3, will remain up, so you don’t have to worry about anything being deleted. I’m still grateful to cod for bringing my zest for writing back, even if it was only for a handful of months. And if you guys want to see unpublished drafts (like for kingdom come), have questions, or simply want to know my plans for fics that won’t be finished/want to know how they end, please send me asks or reach out! I would love to talk about it. Mutuals are, as always, extremely welcome in my DMs, and it means the world to me that people have been checking in on me during my hiatus.

TLDR:

I’m leaving for good. None of my fics will be deleted, but they won’t be updated anymore. I won’t be active on this blog, but I’ll still check in once in a while to answer any asks or questions about my fics.

I don’t think this will happen, but it’s worth saying: please don’t use my departure to make sweeping generalizations about the fandom or start more discourse. I just drifted away and lost interest. Take care of yourselves.

[bestworstcase]

i think about "the faunus militia split our forces" a lot. and salem, lips curling: "stop."

salem doesn't care that adam fumbled the demolition. "the white fang was promised the destruction of haven, and they'll have it once we have what we need." and of course when adam got into hot water, how did hazel respond? "this is your business, not mine."

the only point of blowing up haven academy, as far as salem cared, was to fulfill promises made to adam in return for his aid in vale.

what matters to salem—the only part she cares about—is the failure to get the lamp. the faunus militia isn't relevant to her question; salem's forces were not even supposed to be there that night. she knows cinder altered the plan and that qrow showed up with "huntsmen" and "several students," ruby among them (<- lionheart told her this), and watts would have told her the specifics of the deal cinder cut with raven.

the faunus militia didn't split her forces.

raven did.

hazel's answer irks her because it's irrelevant and disingenuous; whether the white fang succeeded or failed shouldn't have mattered at all because cinder and her team were supposed to be in and out of the school days before. i think she is trying to get a clearer sense of how cinder handled things—did she go down to the vault alone? did she have contingencies? watts thinks she changed the plan because she wanted revenge on ruby, is that accurate?—and when hazel dodges she concludes that the answers are probably not the ones she would like.

"let me rephrase the question. who is responsible for your defeat?" <- the way she words this is telling. she's not asking a new question; she's rephrasing it in an effort to clarify what she is asking.

the implication is perhaps i was unclear. she's giving him the benefit of the doubt that he just misunderstood her and isn't being opaque about cinder's handling of the altered plan on purpose—and then he hesitates before answering "i take full responsibility" and salem flips the table. stop lying.

but it's so fucking funny because as far as hazel knows, cinder is dead and it is Extremely Obvious that he thinks salem is just looking for someone to punish. which she isn't, she's hoping to hear that cinder played it smart and careful and lost through no fault of her own so that salem can justify rescuing her. and when she doesn't get that she immediately goes to "well you need to understand that i'm not going to rescue her, EMERALD,"

everyone in this room thinks salem is about to, like, kill somebody because this is probably the first time any of them have seen how she reacts to catastrophic failure. (without cinder, her plan is dead in the water, and salem's the only one who knows cinder is alive.)

the disconnect is just so vast.

[morsking]

What makes Aoi Toudou so perfect?

it's fitting that todo (and tsukumo, by extension) greets people by asking them what kind of person is their type, because i firmly believe that todo and tsukumo are absolutely gege's type and the role model jujutsu kaisen wants the reader to follow.

todo is candid and unapologetic, a man who proudly wears his heart on his sleeve and never hesitates to follow and prioritize his desires. sukuna refers to him as a true jujutsu sorcerer precisely because he embodies the guile, relentless fighting spirit, and camaraderie the cream of the crop of sorcery should possess even if sukuna doesn't really value or have a need for that third quality. and todo is all those things precisely because tsukumo, a maverick in the jujutsu world as eccentric but better self-actualized than gojo, was the first person to ask him what he truly wanted rather than define him by his strength, which is a trait that only bored and isolated him in his youth because everyone was an enemy before they were a person.

tsukumo's involvement in todo's formative years transformed him into a person who fundamentally wants to understand others and be understood as a way of paying forward the way tsukumo uplifted him by uplifting others who are lost and unfocused, like fushiguro and itadori. todo weeps for fushiguro and proceeds to kick his ass because todo found megumi's answer to "what kind of woman is your type?" shallow, dismissive, and disingenuous. and todo reads a shallow, dismissive, and disingenuous answer as a painful rejection to his sincere interest in fushiguro as a person. it's a thoughtful answer nobara and mai rightfully appreciate, but it's an answer that dodges the issue of fushiguro asking himself what he really wants in an effort to appear mature and more in control of himself than he really lets on.

so todo is hurt by the implication the question that saved him is childish and unimportant, and he is also overcome with pity towards fushiguro because fushiguro doesn't even care to know what he wants outside of being a sorcerer (more truthfully, what he wants outside of saving tsumiki). it bores todo, and for todo being boring is the worst thing that can happen to a person. furthermore, what todo absolutely loathes is a person who actively chooses to be boring. so todo resorts to forcing fushiguro into showing what kind of person he really is through a fight if a conversation is useless. that also extends to the higher ups of the jujutsu world, who are repulsively boring to todo because all they do is trample all over others to preserve their place in society rather than build something through understanding and self-discovery.

itadori is a different matter, because itadori's always been honest about everything and can not only give todo a straight answer to his question, but he touches todo's very soul by being a person who can resonate with todo at a fundamental level. todo latches on to itadori because he sees a rare like-minded individual who is a diamond in the rough. much like gojo uses gardening as a metaphor for raising sorcerers who can stand shoulder to shoulder with him to feel companionship, todo wants to polish itadori into the best version of himself through extreme pressure and unconditional encouragement to overcome that pressure. and that relationship is something that cannot be better represented than in itadori's last confrontation with mahito. it doesn't matter how hopeless the situation gets for yuji or how much death piles on around him, todo urges him to live because a person doesn't deserve to want to die alone depriving themselves of the chance to make it right not only to those who died but to themselves too. personal happiness is paramount to todo, which is why it's all the more important for a person like him to be in itadori's corner when he's facing off against a being like mahito who was born from and thrives in human misery.

"i want a happy life, and i want others to have it too" is such a powerful philosophy to uphold in a story about living, dying, and recognizing the essence of your life and death through others. todo is perfect because if grandpa itadori didn't want yuji to be like him, todo is the person yuji can aspire to be like instead. and given recent events in the manga, that's who he's become when he not only inspires fushiguro to reclaim his life and body from sukuna, but also when he shows sukuna, the source of all his pain and misery, that he too deserves a second chance to learn what it means to live connected to the people around him so he finds fulfillment outside of waiting for the next distraction from his boredom to appear.

i really think that jujutsu kaisen is a story about reaping what you sow not in a punitive sense, but in a karmic sense more in line with the buddhist themes of the story [i am an amateur about buddhist philosophy disclaimer here] if karma guides people to the truth then there's no truth more absolute than the bonds between people, because even those who seem alone like gojo and sukuna can only justify their existence as "the strong" because they have "the weak" to compare themselves to, and it says something that contrasting themselves against "the weak" forces "the strong" to notice their deficiencies. and that's why todo keeps proving to be the gift that keeps on giving. todo is plenty strong, but he has no interest in being the strongest. he has more interest in being somebody who knows what he's about and making sure others can do the same for themselves, and therefore when he clicks with someone it's a mutually beneficial and uplifting experience. "i am not alone." is understood as a reassuring and affirming feeling, and "you are not alone" is something really satisfying to assert to someone else. todo's confidence and charisma are so infectious you just can't help but love it when he's on the screen because you are watching your brother telling you it's gonna be alright with the beaming radiance of a superstar who's gonna have you put on your best show too and so long as you're together you're unstoppable no matter how dire things get.

and of course you can't forget he beat the crap out of a special grade curse with an idol insert song. only hakari, who is a similar type to todo, could top that by beating the crap out of an incarnated sorcerer with scenes out of a romance manga.

[tsunael]

22 20 Dawntrail Inspired Questions

I decided to answer these on my own because I didn't want to rely on other people to send them lol. Thank you to those who did!

Obvious Dawntrail spoilers below:

1. Why did they agree to accompany Wuk Lamat to Tural?

I think she was kind of aimless. I'm unsure if she had any hand in the Myths of The Realm quests, or the patch quests canonically since she had just recovered from a long stint in the hospital, and a technical break-up. So, with the Scions disbanded, and the Rising Stones empty, I think she became disillusioned with her life. I think Shadowbringers and Endwalker back-to-back was also extremely difficult for her. Besides that, most-- if not all-- of the issues that come up during MSQ can be solved by Y'shtola and the others. I want to say they called on her for the Aetherfont and to go to The First (out of necessity), but that's about it. Obviously its inevitable that she get dragged into some plot against her will since that's kind of her theme. Anyway. Aimless, as I said. I think G'raha had a large part in her undertaking it, if only to see new sights and to find herself again in knowing she was lost. His words before her departure stuck with her.

2. What was the first thing they did when they arrived in Tuliyollal?

The beach! She's always loved the sea and how it reminds her of home. I think Alisaie would have urged her to go (teasingly) because she'd grown so pale. So, maybe a bit of sun bathing... she is a Raen, after all.

3. What was their initial impression of the four claimants? How did this change over the course of the story?

Unpleasant. Koana's reliance on technology immediately earned her mistrust, as well as his lack of heart. She'd known far too many men just like him. Zoraal Ja and Bakool Ja Ja were just simply terrifying at first. Mamool Ja are not native to the East and known for being sellswords in Eorzea, on top of being very imposing and unfriendly. Wuk Lamat... was Wuk Lamat. There was a good heart to make up for her lack of brains. I don't believe much changed over the course, though her stance on Koana and Wuk Lamat softens, she would have doubts about their leadership considering they're so young-- but it ultimately is not her concern. Triumphing over an adversary does not make a world leader, and they no longer have their father for guidance.

4. What is their impression of Gulool Ja Ja? Do they agree with his method of cultivating leadership?

Terrifying at first, until she spoke at length with him. Despite appearances, she couldn't deny that he was a good man who had genuine love for his people. His way of cultivating leadership had merit, though she wondered how his children were so far removed from their people to begin with that they had to learn it in such a difficult way. Oddly, it made her miss her own father-- they both showed their love in twisted ways.

5. How do they feel about Wuk Lamat looking up to them as a mentor figure? Did this attitude change as the story progressed?

Uncomfortable, and that did not change. It's undue pressure, and she doesn't feel worthy when the Scions have done just as much, if not more for the star. Besides that, Tsuna's never liked her title, nor the boon that it gives her when those around her find out who she is. People tend to look at her differently. The title, 'Warrior of Light' has always been disingenuous, she thinks, as she wasn't even present at Carteneau. She's only ever wanted to just be herself.

6. How did they feel about competing against Thancred and Urianger?

Haha. Well. It wouldn't be the first time Urianger had betrayed them, so for him to turn tail yet again wasn't news. However... Since before even their reunion at the Aetherfont, Thancred had started to become closed off to her. For the two of them to show their faces, and pledge their allegiance to another without so much as a word only added to the perceived offense. Thancred also dropped a ceiling on her head, so... A part of her was waiting for the moment where they might talk at length about their relationship, what went wrong, etc... but as the workaholic he is (or in purposefully avoiding her) he ensured she never got the chance. Her anger only plateaued, though it was never about them offering their services to another.

7. Were they happy with the outcome of the rite of succession?

She would have liked no better outcome. Wuk Lamat and Koana complete each other, that much was plain.

8. Why did they want to explore Xak Tural? Were they happy to have Erenville along as a guide or would they have preferred to explore on their own?

I think she left because she needed time for herself, as she was scarcely idle for the entire trip. There were many feelings she needed to sort out still, and after the succession ceremony she was left feeling strangely devoid. Erenville, however, was a welcome companion. He doesn't speak often, which afforded her some much-needed peace, and when he did it was always with purpose. Being a gleaner and native of the land both, she held his knowledge in the highest regard.

9. What was going through their mind when the dome dropped?

Thal's gilded... halls.

10. What were their first impressions of the Alexandrians?

11. What was their initial impression of Sphene? How did this change as the story progressed?

Here.

12. What was their opinion of the culture of recycling souls and the use of regulators? Did this change as the story progressed?

Wrong on all accounts, and her feelings did not change. Solution 9 was a city of vice and excess to her, and to use people's souls as a handicap, currency, and a commodity went wholly against the natural world as she knew it. They were so far removed from the land and what made them human that they had forgotten the sanctity of life-- she would hesitate to consider that 'culture'. A part of her understood it, even if she was against it. Deep down, who doesn't want to live a carefree life, free of pain?

13. What was their initial impression of Cahciua?

Uncomfortable, considering she was a strange, floating... device. Moreso she found her annoyingly forward, yet managing to be cagey. Keeping key information locked away, yet asking the world of them only made things more difficult.

14. How did they feel about the Endless?

The dead should be allowed to rest, but she would not be the one to send them off. Her thoughts went to dear Haurchefant, and the endless purgatory she unwittingly sent him to.

15. What was their experience like in Living Memory?

Bad. A strange town full of contraptions made for the amusement of the living, yet she was surrounded by ghosts. It reminded her of Amarout-- positively soul-crushing. Then, she had to bear witness to her friends saying their goodbyes to their parents... it only made her miss her own that much more.

16. What are their thoughts about the Key?

A cursed object that should not exist, and one that she would rather not have in her possession. But, if it truly can open the door to other shards, then she would do anything in her power to reunite her friends with their loved ones on The First before it's too late. Alternatively, If its connection to Azem is real, and is something WoL can perceive, then she might feel more positively about it.

17. The theme of family and legacy is repeated throughout Dawntrail—did this theme resonate with your character? Were there specific moments relating to family that impacted them?

Here.

18. What important relationships changed or developed throughout Dawntrail?

Her anger and hurt towards Thancred has regressed to their Heavensward levels... Add in a healthy dose of longing and lovesickness for a recipe for disaster. Her relationship with G'raha has only strengthened. He had ever been kind to her, and it was by his words that she went on her journey to Tural in the first place. It only took her to be at her lowest for her to finally notice him. Erenville became an unexpected friend. He softened up by the end of their journey, though isn't someone she would seek out for companionship. Wuk Lamat sees her as a big sister, and in her, Tsuna has found someone she can rely on. Same with Alisaie, their bond stayed relatively the same, however, they spent much of their time together.

19. What was their favorite location in Tural?

Kozama'uka. The carved out caves with bioluminescent mosses and fireflies were breathtaking, and their many waterways and dense forests reminded her of home. Though in the lower areas, the air was extremely humid without much sun to dry her scales in.

20. Do they lean more Tuliyollal or more Solution Nine?

Tuliyollal. She would take a port-city that is full of flora and fauna over a place devoid entirely of heart. She's also still very upset about the soylent.

21. If they had to summarize their journey in Tural, what would they say?

A decent vacation-turned-terrible that left her more tired than when she first set off. The storm that nearly killed the lot of them should have been taken as a sign. If Nymeia wanted her dead, she ought to not miss next time.

22. What are they doing now?

SHE'S LEISURING, BITCH. leave her alone.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jay Kuo at The Big Picture:

Activist documentarian Lauren Windsor, the woman who recently surreptitiously recorded conversations with the Alitos, released another pair of recordings on Tuesday, this time of Trump ally and pardoned felon, Roger Stone. Stone was instrumental in Trump’s Stop the Steal campaign, and he was fairly forthcoming about his plans to undo yet another democratic election.

Windsor and a colleague asked Stone, in two different instances, how Republicans would secure the election this time, and Stone replied, “We’re working on this.” He added that their side will be armed with “lawyers, judges, technology,” all in place to challenge the official results if needed.   “At least this time when they do it, you have a lawyer and a judge—his home phone number standing by—so you can stop it,” Stone continued. “We made no preparations last time, none… There are technical, legal steps that we have to take to try and have a more honest election. We’re not there yet, but there’s things that can be done.” All this leads to some important questions: Will the Trump Campaign try to pull off another overturning of the election results? If so, will they face new obstacles in such an attempt, and will the guardrails hold? Finally, is there a point of vulnerability we should know about?

[...]

Stop the Steal, version 2024

Key allies of Donald Trump have made no secret of their plans to challenge the election. For example, Steve Bannon, who is scheduled to go to federal prison on July 1 for two counts of contempt of Congress, recently suggested another violent MAGA reaction should Trump lose at the ballot box. At an extremist Turning Point Action rally in Michigan this week, Bannon exhorted the crowd to action. “If they steal this election, and they fully intend to steal it, this republic ends. Are you prepared to fight? Are you prepared to give it all? Are you prepared to leave it all on the battlefield?”  Most of Trump’s top possible VP picks have refused to state on the record that they will accept the November election results. Contenders like Sen. JD Vance (R-OH), Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL), and Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-NY) instead hedge their answers, saying that they will only accept them if the Democrats did not cheat. This of course is highly disingenuous. It falsely suggests that the Democrats cheated in 2020, even though there isn’t a shred of evidence to support that claim. If they proceed in 2024 in a similar evidence-free way, mere allegations of election fraud could justify, at least in their minds, a refusal to accept the results.

Trump himself has often suggested that the Democrats will attempt to steal the election, justifying some kind of response from the GOP. Before the same crowd Bannon spoke to in Michigan, Trump declared, “We got more votes than anybody's ever had. We need to watch the vote. We need to guard the vote. We need to stop the steal.” (He then confusingly, and deploying typical Trumpian word vomit, added, “We don’t need the votes. We have to stop, focus, don’t worry about the votes. We got all the votes.”)

[...] MAGA extremists have since taken over the state parties in many of these states, so if the 2022 elections had been a “red wave,” we would be in serious trouble today. There is little doubt that Trump would seek to use the same tactics to invalidate the popular votes in key swing states by act of the legislatures there. Moreover, the Republicans would have passed even more voter suppression bills there, just as they have been able to do in Georgia where the GOP maintains a state-level trifecta in government. But in November of 2022, something extraordinary happened. Voters in these battlegrounds rejected MAGA extremism and election denialists at the ballot box, and instead elected Democratic governors in Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Arizona. They flipped the state legislatures in Michigan and Pennsylvania, and they elected Democratic secretaries of state and attorneys general in Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Arizona.

That means that in 2024, the administration, safety, and certification of elections in four of the five 2020 battleground states will be completely in Democratic hands. It is hard to understate the importance of this when it comes to election integrity and protection of the right to vote. These Democratic officials very likely will not tolerate illegal voter intimidation or disruptions of the vote count, and they have learned a lot from their experiences in 2020. Further, the string of indictments brought by Democratic state attorneys general against fake electors and their co-conspirators in Washington will act as a strong deterrent to the kinds of illegal conspiracies, forgeries, and strong-arming that we saw in 2020. The fact that Trump does not currently control the Department of Justice is another reason to believe law enforcement cannot be weaponized in 2024 to throw the election.

The possibility that the Trumpist faction of the GOP seeking to attempt to steal another election is still a big worry, as Jay Kuo breaks it down in The Big Picture. Their 2020 bid was foiled, but will it remain the case this year?

[emptymanuscript]

So, Trump keeps bringing up the Governor of Virginia allowing infanticide.

He is referencing this specific question and answer statement made on January 30th, 2019 by Governor Northam in a live radio Interview on Washington, D.C.'s, WTOP, as quoted in the Snopes article about Trump's claims from back in 2019.

Julie Carey: ... There was a very contentious committee hearing yesterday when Fairfax County Delegate Kathy Tran made her case for lifting restrictions on third-trimester abortions, as well as other restrictions now in place. And she was pressed by a Republican delegate about whether her bill would permit an abortion even as a woman is, essentially, dilating, ready to give birth. And she answered that it would permit an abortion at that stage of labor. Do you support her measure? And explain her answer. Ralph Northam: You know, I wasn't there, Julie, and I certainly can't speak for Delegate Tran, but I would tell you -- one, the first thing I would say is this is why decisions such as this should be made by [healthcare] providers, physicians, and the mothers and fathers that are involved. There are -- you know when we talk about third-trimester abortions, these are done with the consent of, obviously, the mother, with the consent of the physicians, more than one physician by the way. And it's done in cases where there may be severe deformities, there may be a fetus that's non-viable. So in this particular example, if a mother is in labor, I can tell you exactly what would happen. The infant would be delivered, the infant would be kept comfortable, the infant would be resuscitated if that's what the mother and the family desired, and then a discussion would ensue between the physicians and the mother. So I think this was really blown out of proportion ...

So Trump's argument here is the same disingenuous argument it is most of the time.

It's presenting a discussion about what should happen legally when profound tragedy strikes and everything goes wrong and there's no possible life ahead for the child BUT it's politically convenient to ignore the actual horror and pain of the situation to pretend something entirely different is happening.

This was about Northam saying he didn't want to get involved in a family's end of life decisions for their new born infant who was going to die as soon as they were taken off life support. No future. No life. Unfortunately, it happens. It's about life support at the point of no hope. And that that entire conversation should be between a patient and doctor.

And Trump is framing it, not as a discussion over what the state's role should be in the process of an infant's inevitable death - not even the situation of a possibly viable but extremely unhealthy child as some sort of edge case - but as a discussion over the state's tacit approval of killing a perfectly healthy child for some undefined reason, with the implication that it is mere inconvenience instead of utter tragedy.

It's bullshit.

It's all bullshit.

It has always been ALL bullshit.

And still it rolls on. And on. And on.

While Trump plainly states that he "believes" in exceptions in the case of rape, incest, and the health of the mother - with no mention of the health or viability of the baby because he doesn't actually care - because he has to get the votes. He doesn't care. It's only about the votes. It is purely strategic speaking out of both sides of his mouth without a moral position one way or the other.

But I strongly suspect he's going to be seen as winning this debate just because he has better vocal projection, is trying to say less to keep it simpler, and his lies are emotionally provocative. Like, yeah, he does SOUND better than Biden, if you utterly ignore the god awful content coming out of his mouth.

How? HOW?!? How is Trump a viable candidate for President??? AGAIN!?!

This is such a nightmare. A repeating nightmare.

[scoobydoodean]

I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

[mag200]

hey i have a question but first i want to make it clear that this is not judgmental or sarcastic i'm just genuinely curious. what is it about tylor swift that so many people are so deeply attached to her personal life? i know that it's stan culture and all but i feel like swifties have reached a new level of it and i'm like. genuinely asking. what is it about her that makes people get so emotionally invested in her personal life. again i really am just interested in your answer because i've never seen such a strong response to celebrities dating bigots ever

i might not even be the best person to explain it bc i think i'm actually a lot more removed from a parasocial relationship with her than a lot of swifties (and i'm definitely less invested than i used to be) but like that's just her whole brand yknow?

i can't speak for others but for me it comes down to being a certain age when i got into her music, when i was 12, 13, 14, and felt like she was a big sister telling me she knew how i felt. in hindsight it's weird and extremely unrealistic but i was a deeply lonely kid, and i was extremely media- and business-illiterate, i didn't understand that at the time. but i got to feel like i was growing up with her music and that feeling has always pushed me to lend a certain amount of grace to her. maybe too much.

i think she has always been in this crossover space of being both a very introspective songwriter (whether you like her music or not it's fine that's not the point, but understand that for some ppl it just hits) as well as a business branding genius (and that's not just her, it's also her parents and their team). so she tells her fans over and over and over and over again that we're "the longest relationship" she's ever had. and i can't blame younger ppl for getting really emotionally invested in that the same way i did.

stan culture in general is wack and i have removed myself too much from it to like, have anything new to say on it. before this situation with matty healy i have really never cared about her personal love life, i've always taken her music and recontextualized it to my life or my interests rather than caring so much about exactly what she meant and who she was saying stuff about. but anyway.

there are levels of standom and some ppl go really overboard with it but in general fans of her music tend to get drawn into really caring about her as a person. so to find out, after everything (after she made a whole damn film about how she was going to speak up politically, after literally promising us that she was against all this bigotry), that she's keeping company with someone so vile and hateful, it feels like a very personal betrayal for a lot of us. and it's not fair to say it shouldn't be personal when that's been her entire brand this whole time. like i think it would be really really disingenuous to get all up in arms about some guy hurting her feelings and then turn around when she's the one hurting ppl and scream "parasocial relationship" and "you don't even know her."

it's true, we don't know her. that is a fact and i've been in that boat for years. that doesn't change the fact that her entire business model is centered around making us feel like we know her. i don't say that to single her out as the only celebrity to do this (she's not) or to make her sound like she's all calculated and conniving just for being a smart businesswoman. but that parasocialism is a core tenet of her business and she wants the benefits of that - but doesn't want the consequences when she dates a guy who stands for everything she claims to be against. it calls into question whether she ever actually had our backs when she said she did.

this situation shouldn't be more about her than it's about the hurtful things matty healy has done. primarily this is a situation about him being a scumbag. however, bc taylor swift is one of the biggest pop stars in the world and bc of the fandom she has built, her choosing to entwine herself with him matters. this is the other side of making your entire career out of making strangers feel like they personally know you. not everyone has the privilege to completely ignore this just bc they love her music. her dating him so publicly encourages a lot of people to actively be more racist. we are already seeing the effects of this where swifties of color are getting bullied and discriminated against more than ever. it matters.

[eneiryu]

so this is actually about your s5 fic which i am already so obsessed with but do you hc theo as straight or bi or gay or etc? i personally see him as gay which is part or why i felt his flirting with maila and tracy in s5 was for disingenuous (another part is because it obviously was part of a plan) whereas he also flirted somewhat with male characters but it seemed more genuine because he had no intention or plan behind it.

it’s the whole reason why when he comes back to hell his focus on liam and protecting him and caring about him i also read as in part a romantic interest in liam but, and this is the main part of my question, theo after hell and before hell seem like two different people and pist hell theo seems to be capable and wanting love (and pre he’ll theo doesn’t seem to fully understand what it is) in your fic, is sexuality the defining factor that makes theo able to fall in love with liam (assuming he does!) when he didn’t fall for malia or tracy or does whatever part of him that gets changed in he’ll get the chance to be changed before he ever even gets there?

Oof, okay, I’m going to be honest, I was a little hesitant to answer this at all because I know this is a topic that can inspire some very passionate responses, so let me preface what I’m about to say with: this is 100% my perspective, and I do not under any circumstances think my way of looking at this is anymore correct than anyone else’s, or correct at all.

Having said that…

In my head, Theo has generally had such a screwed-up upbringing, and a screwed-up way of looking at the world, that what matters is whether he feels a genuine connection to a person. So, to carry your point a little further: pre-skinwalker prison, people were tools to him. They were pawns to be moved around the board and sacrificed as necessary, but they didn’t matter. Post-skinwalker prison, he became capable of seeing them (and himself, importantly) as more than that: as human beings, who had personalities and flaws and moments of incredible grace. But he was still himself. He’d still grown up the way that he did, with the perspective that he had, and so in my mind he actually relates to or genuinely enjoys the company of extremely few people, and romantically relates to even fewer.

So to finally round back around to your question, I don’t see gender as relevant to him. Either he likes the person—either he loves the person—or he doesn’t. The rest of it is just details.

[starvels]

Top 5 ways to get your goat

i've had a couple of days of being rly annoyed at little things so i think this is actually a very time appropriate question lmfaooo. not top 5 probably, but just the ones i've come up with right now upon first thought:

being mean for no reason. my own personal mantra is 'is it true, is it kind, is it necessary' and i really hold that to heart, both in life and in writing and fandom. what is literally the point at all to being unnecessarily rude and untruthful?? fucking yike. when i see someone being rude to a service person/in public/to someone w less power than them, i immediately drop kick them verbally into the next year. i don't tolerate that shit.

being asked how i am doing in a disingenuous way/not being giving room to respond in truth/not being asked at all. i think asking after someone can be a beautiful infinitesimal celebration of their importance to you. i like to engage in that a lot and like to receive that as well.

inability to see things in a nuanced fashion. i wholeheartedly believe that reactive, self-centering extremism in all forms and functions is exceptionally damaging and i don't think enough people in today's day and age have considered how they have been adversely affected by the omnipresent need to have One Right Verifiable Easy Googlable Answer and for that one answer to be theirs. perfect example of this is fandom itself and the conversation about constructive critique in instances of racist/transphobic/eurocentric/ableist/etc. portrayals. and i think it boils down to [the good place voice] what we owe to each other. and what we owe is not a reflexive hard answer, but an open query and a second of listening. do i have an answer for how to perfectly balance safety and open creativity? no. but i care a lot about asking other people how they feel and asking them to work with me to find out the full range of the set of our answers.

being constrained. by the narrative or by circumstance or expectation or my own limitation. exploring is so wholeheartedly the point for me in so many things. i've realized the more and more i write, the more and more i want to explore and try my hand at new things -- slow unfolding horror, unreliable narration, kinks oh so many kinks, articulations of relationships, meticulous data based stories, etc. i like growth, i like network expansion, i like mycellium, what can i say?

under-seasoning things. it's such a small thing but the longer i live the more i'm like i do NOT want to experience blandness in food or in life. under-seasoning an AU or a worldbuilding in a story? so exceptionally frustrating. to be like, iunno. 'oh it's a/b/o but just with lubricating assholes and mean assholes' is mmm, let me lisa frank and say, "that is a waste!" make it unhinged! make it inhuman in weird ass ways! make it goddamn! queer! and! intersex! (tshirt that says: stop being pussies abt including pussies in your porn dhjgfkbjndk).

+bonus/pursuant to the last: not being enthusiastic/being ashamed about things you enjoy. i'm a type 7w8 on the enneagram and a libra and i just so sincerely think that people should experience the full range of their emotional spectrum and delight in every heightened and aroused moment of it. same in fandom, too, tell me! what you like about a thing! make 20 art pieces with the same palette and concept!! i fucking love it!!!! show me the heart of your muse!!

-

other top 5 answers

[despondent-beauty]

Yeah, like computers, AIs have certain niche uses, but they must be checked and verified and looked over. Like a computer, you need to micromanage it. Something as simple as summing a list of numbers on a computer can lead to an overflow error, for instance. (Where a number gets so large that it turns negative in memor.) You, as a human, need to be able to know how to add so you can very quickly see that a list of 1,000 positive numbers probably shouldn't equal 5 at the end.

Interpreted most favorably, this means that you, as a human, need to understand the output of the AI on a deeper level -- much deeper -- than the AI itself. The AI can move pixels and words around, but that doesn't make it right, beneficial, or pleasing. The AI doesn't know a good composition vs. a bad composition, nor does it understand narrative structure, proper subversion of tropes, and character depth. It might have a perfunctory understanding of those things, but what about the metaphorical overflow error?

Interpreted more reasonably, AI is a fuzzy logic machine, so its overflow errors are going to be subtle and fuzzy and frequent. Unlike addition, there's no literal mathematical formula for creating good art, analyzing historical documents and their relevancy to today, writing a story, etc. This means that their errors are contextual and can't be predicted. They're not even possible to detect as errors unless you're actually looking for them.

Who's going to notice that 'exotic magician' as a prompt exclusively creates people of color unless you're already looking for that, for instance? And that's not even talking about general composition and other actual skills/talents that go into the production of art or analysis. This is just one very real example that we've all heard of recently with image generators being teehee accidentally #raaaacist :)

Honestly, I actually use AI to get an idea of what I want characters to look like or to help refine general questions because I struggle to know what I even need to ask.

I once spent 20 minutes almost arguing with a TA because they couldn't understand a question that I had about the intersection of graph transformations and U substitution in calculus. They got irritated with me because their response didn't help me/answer my question, so I just kept trying to explain what I meant more, which made them think I was being difficult. Autistic issues, I guess.

So I do actually find it really helpful in refining my queries so that I can figure out what information I actually want/need to know. It can even be difficult to search for something online without knowing the precise vocabulary that you need to use to find resources.

Having said that, AI is, by definition, not creative. It's made to be as derivative as possible. It's just naturally going to be shit if you're looking for creativity. If you're looking to refine ideas and guide them to a certain outcome, then go for it. But the algorithm -- and it is just an algorithm -- is, by definition, created to adhere to its source data (in a general sense), meaning that it cannot be 'creative.'

So don't use it to brainstorm new ideas. 'I never would have thought of that' is so weird to me when the AI, even the most advanced models, spits out the same trite drivel that apparently passes for creativity no matter what I do. I already need to have my own creative inspiration to do anything interesting with AIs, else they just fall into extremely derivative and banal shit.

I've literally never had the AI say something directly interesting.

It's always been me getting inspired by something it said. I guess you could argue that that's still helpful, though it feels disingenuous to me because people talk about using AI to generate ideas, not using AI to inspire themselves to generate ideas.

Oh, and even if they did mean the latter, there are better sources for fertile soil for ideas. Like, fuck, you're farming in arid scrublands and thinking you're productive as a result. Go read some good literature and stare at the patterns in the drywall for 20 minutes. That'll do more for your creativity than 5 days with an AI.

Anyway, I'm gonna indulge and take a moment to bemoan AI stories and writing in general.

They're so bad! Why do people think they're good? Is it because the average national AND international literacy levels hover around those of a 6th grader? Is that why? Is it? Anything and anyone capable of writing a setting, rise in action, climax, and epilogue with characters that are moderately consistent is seen as good writing? Acceptable grammar and reasonable diction is suddenly the key indicator of a genius author or something?

Will increasing the education budget and focusing more on communication and literature -- areas that we are sorely lacking due to the misguided hyperfixation on STEM -- help in this area? I don't know. I wish I did. My hypothesis is that it will, but I don't expect the US to get its dumbassery in gear anytime soon, so it's irrelevant.

Pisses me the fuuuuuuuck off.

Bye.

Okay. It's time for an AI rant.

My nephew is 13 years old. Whenever he writes a paper for school, I check it over and fix all of his mistakes for him. He said to me, "Maybe I'll proofread your paper for you in exchange," meaning one of the scholarly articles I write for work. I said, "Cool," and gave him the file. And he said, "Well, this is full of errors! See, you always say you have a lot to correct on my stuff, and look at all the stuff you got wrong!" And I said, surprised, "What? Where?" Because I'm sure there are typos in the draft I sent him, but not, like, that many.

And then he pointed to the screen and said, "Look at all the blue and red lines you have."

And I said, "Yeah, but those are wrong. Like, those are blue and red lines I'm ignoring because the computer is wrong." And then I paused and added, "You know you can't proofread a paper by just looking at the red and blue lines, right?" And he gave me the blankest look, because that clearly is EXACTLY what he thinks. And it became even clearer suddenly why, whenever I correct something on his paper, his immediate reaction is, "It didn't have a blue or red line."

There's a very good reason for that: THAT'S BECAUSE THE COMPUTER ISN'T SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT WAS WRONG.

I am so tired of being sold the idea that computers are better than humans and so we should just outsource everything to them, which is clearly the lesson my nephew is absorbing in U.S. middle school. COMPUTERS ARE NOT BETTER THAN HUMANS. Like, maybe they are better at humans at crawling through rubble to find people trapped inside. They are also better at preserving things in a searchable format. Things like that. Very limited circumstances.

I don't want to sound alarmist but everything I hear about people using generative AI freaks me out. It's not just that I'm freaked out by people being like, "I use it to write novels!" (Although I don't see how they do, I have tried to have it write fiction for me and the output was truly terrible.) But I recognize my bias around creative writing and so no one needs to credit my views on artificial writing. But! Other things are alarming, too! "I use it to brainstorm x, y, or z." But...why? Why not just...use your own brain...to...brain...storm? The computer doesn't even have a brain to brainstorm with! And you might be like, "But it comes up with things that my brain would never think of!" So would other people! You could also brainstorm with other people! Or even through Google to see what other people have thought before you (not AI). Please don't belittle the wonder of thinking.

I just feel like the marketing around generative AI boils down to "Wouldn't it be easier not to use your own brain to think about things?" Everyone. No. It would not be. Please just trust me on this. I'm not just an old person who is out of touch with technology or something. I promise. USE YOUR BRAINS. IT WILL BE OKAY.

[bisexual-magneto]

almost like people can have a "my blorbo can do no wrong mentality" about their favourite media

Like people still OFMD or even harry potter because BLORBO UWU

Beau DeMayo is white-washing apolgist but we still watch x-men 97

(...I also found some...other unsavoury stuff about Beau DeMayo a few weeks ago. Which might be a rumour but I was curious why Disney fired him and why it was kept under wraps and then I found a reddit post where people...talked about it. And again, it's a rumour. But if it's true, it's pretty bad).

But yeah! I think there is a big irony here, where every time a new show or book or game or movie is recommended around here, the fans try to wring ANY bit of progressiveness out of it so, so, so hard because THAT’S how you get people watching: By insisting how diverse it is, how modern it is, how ethical it is, by interpreting anything that can somehow be interpreted as leftist as leftist, even blatant misinterpretation (no, the misogynistic male white leads who are best friends are not the writer’s attempt to write a queer love story*)

So every time it turns out that the writers do suck or that the show does have a horrible message, it just kind of splits into 3 crowds

“The show/film/movie sucked anyway and I hate it now!” (which honestly, this one I have the least issue with. But I feel like it’s a bit dangerous to just do a 180° instead of admitting that horrible people can write good stories or that a well-crafted story can rope you in to accept a fucked-up core-message.)

“We have to separate the writer from the work!” (which is the old problem of making sure they don’t still get fucking money from you.)

What they’re doing with Neil Gaiman now: Angrily trying to argue his case and disprove the allegations, usually peppered with some weird sweeping statements acting like there is now a hate-campaign against the fandom and ‘everything is so toxic now!’)

And I think the flipside of this – of this kind of personal moral investment on why this video game is the Morally Superior Video Game or why Harry Potter is the answer to all life’s questions or committing to supporting Neil Gaiman’s victims – is that they seem to feel like if they would admit that the creators are horrible people, they would also be forced to give up the kind of moral superiority high that they got from pretending their fandom was the most superior, most moral fandom to ever exist in the first place.

By the end of it, they just act like every alt-righter and conservative when a rich white person receives backlash: Try to smear the victims, try to use singular statements and aspects of the culprit’s past behaviour to show what a Nice Little Dude he is (“here’s Johnny Depp visiting those kids at the hospital again!”), make up some fake alternative universe where victims (especially members of marginalised groups) are actually taken super-seriously by some Dangerous Woke Mob while innocent rich men have their careers ruined all over  their place and are dangerously oppressed. They’re not so different from the people who claimed Bill Cosby was being falsely accused even after he fucking confessed.

And the thing is…Hollywood is extremely fake. Rich people are extremely fake. They have agents and stuff managing their public appearances and reputations and statements. And the thing is, that doesn’t necessarily mean someone is bad – I would do the same if I were a public person. I would also manage which parts of me the public sees and gets to react to and relentlessly talk about online and in insipid tabloid articles and so on.

But the point is, that we don’t know these people. No one knows these people just based on their tumblr or twitter or anything. I remember for how long there were ‘first glimpses’ of JKR’s transphobia and tumblr kept explaining it away, usually arguing that it is misinterpreting or that she didn’t know who she was sharing or that being suspicious of her for liking 1 post is disingenuous. While she has been friends with the likes of Emma Nicholson since at least 2005.

Anyway, if anyone around here hasn't already, please read I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy.

(*this is more a general statement, not a comment on the fandoms you mentioned, obviously stuff like OFMD does have queer love stories. Before anyone gets in my business.)

[bisluthq]

For the love out loud anon, I think we (swifties but critical ones who can freely say what we do and don’t like lol) have to remember the swifties who say ‘the current bf does this, therefore the ex never loved her’ are full on cupcakes and focus only on one issue. Taylor didn’t want to be in the basement, they see her with someone who puts her in the penthouse so they get excited. But you can only stay excited for so long, so they need something to be critical of, so the ex enters the chat and everything said in miss Americana documentary and the other love song lyrics gets ignored and forgotten.

That’s just the way that side of the fandom operates.

I find being loved out loud a really interesting topic because I am extremely private (would give Joseph a run for his money ijbol) and usually act in accordance with the vibe (should I be reserved, booty popping or smiling slightly despite being dead inside??) but if I’m comfortable with my environment and the people in it, I come across as extroverted. So for me, being loved out loud would be if I think of someone as my best friend, I’d hope I’m a bridesmaid in their wedding, or if I go somewhere nice with my friend who puts everything on her Instagram stories and she doesn’t post about our outing or the place we went to, I’d wonder why. I’m very single which is why I’m using friendship examples lol but also I don’t post to my real social media pages, so I would feel no desire to post about or have posts made about a romantic relationship, unless I had a partner who was always posting things and then deliberately excluding me, that would be a red flag to pause on.

With Taylor, I think it’s very easy for the current bf to say he’s proud of her and mention her in interviews and on his podcast because he’s always in the media and he’s welcomed some of his personal life to be talked about by talking about it on the podcast (I assume anyway, I’ve only seen the clips relating to Taylor lol). So it’d be very weird if he shut that down without a simple ‘yeah I’m proud, she’s great, it was an amazing show’ type of basic answer. Joe only had one movie/ press tour before Taylor (and they were together half way through it lol) so he had no precedent to live up to, it didn’t seem weird him not talking about her because honestly the dude just rarely talks. Most of the questions he was asked about her were completely irrelevant to his usually very serious film talks, but I do think the fandom and Taylor would’ve exploded if he posted a photo of his Grammy with a caption of “what an honour - W.B 🎼” because that would’ve been in line with his behaviour but a way of acknowledging their relationship.

I think living in a world where so much is shared, when people don’t share a lot, they come across disingenuous or ashamed or like they’re trying to hide something — all things that have been said to me because I don’t like posting to my own social media 🙄

But cupcakes are gonna cupcake. It’s very on brand though that they can’t hype something up without pitting women against each other, I mean comparing it to something else…. 😜

yea…

[hussyknee]

You haven't answered my questions, you didn't respond to the posts I linked and you continue to not back up your arguments.

Abuse is defined by effect, not intent. Making neurodivergent and traumatized people question their reality and being lied to when they ask if it's real, and being out of the loop in the middle of a site-wite illusion that people are trying to manipulate real-world databases for, is in fact abuse and can trigger psychosis. This is explained in the posts Iinked.

You can be socially, systemically and institutionally gaslit. Medical gaslighting, for example, is the leading cause of PTSD in disabled and chronically ill people. Disinformation for the purpose of manipulating narratives is called political gaslighting and media gaslighting (be careful googling this because the right-wing has misappropriated the term).This all comes under epistemic gaslighting, an important sociological phenomenon and social justice term. The idea is not without critics, but here's another article that argues for its use.

And as I have said elsewhere: wider social gaslighting is a key component of interpersonal abuse and victimisation. Partners, children, employees, students, disabled people – people see them being abused or evidence of their abuse and trauma and then minimise it, dismiss it, or pretend like they didn't see anything. It makes you question your memories, experiences and feelings. Worse, most people who do this don't intend to harm you; they're just conditioned into a set of beliefs and worldview that makes abuse invisible to them. It's what makes it so hard to acknowledge abuse to yourself and self-validate your own hurt and fear, because it involves understanding that you are seen as acceptable collateral to your community. As social animals realizing that our tribe won't protect us is extremely traumatic and it's very difficult to ever feel safe again.

It's disingenuous to compare the use of gaslighting to the way the word "triggered" has been mocked, misappropriated and devalued by ableists. Nobody is mocking or devaluing the word here. This kind of humour – pranks, "bits" and anything that involves tricking unconsenting parties (as opposed to say, a magic show where people want to be tricked) and the general manipulating of narratives – necessarily crosses boundaries and toys with people's trust in themselves and others. There is an inherent danger and harm in this kind of lying. That's not to say that this kind of humour is always bad and wrong, just that the line between good-humoured fun and bullying can be subjective and easily crossed over. The ability for people to find the truth, tap out or opt out entirely of our shenanigans is the very real line between annoying and cruel. And even then, there are people who might be too afraid of being mocked or lied to that won't ask, and people whose previous gaslighting trauma is triggered by this version of it.

I would gently ask you why you're so upset and opposed to the idea that you might be engaging in something that has the same consequences, or some version of it, for people that you have yourself experienced. It's very important to understand that gaslighting can be inadvertent. The social gaslighting through conditioning I've mentioned earlier, and also clinging to your personal narrative and insisting only your reality and memories are valid are the most common ways we abuse without meaning to.

But aside from all of that, there are many things people do that may cause inadvertent harm to others. We live such wide and waried realities that it's impossible not to infringe on each other's boundaries when living in the crush of humanity. They are allowed to be angry about it and you are allowed to respect that but keep enjoying the things you do, in as ethical a manner as possible. We are not responsible for how others experience the world, but we do have an obligation to be responsible and minimise harm to the vulnerable by practising informed consent. It's not black and white. It's just that there is a line, and it must be seen and adhered to.

As of this writing, Goncharov has been added and removed from the Martin Scorsese filmography Wikipedia page 7 times.