#or alternatively they assume it isnt as bad as it is because im so good at explaining it and im verbose and articulate and whatever

[cherry-shipping]

yawn. im going to bed but i wanted to say that im thinking of maybe MAYBE doing something REALLY TERRIFYING. and writing some selfship stuff. which ive never done before…… but i think IF i do then ill do it in thhe format of a screenplay because then i wont have to worry about futzing with all those other words. ive never written before though but id like to have some of my daydreams saved somehow and theyre too long to draw, and stuff……. also it might be good for my crippling performance anxiety. so thats a bonus

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

imagining an alternate eotd where when asked about her confusing gay crush under threat of daleks one neuron in yazs brain fired differently and instead of going with "i dont know what you mean" she said "yes". same but opposite energy of when the doctor asks if shes a bad date and yaz super boldly just says "no". same but opposite.

because like imagine youre dan. he probably already had a good guess about what the situation was but his assumption being wrong is not out of the realm of possibilities. the idea that they could have talked about is not out of the realm of possibilities! if youre dan! if you just got here. if you didnt see all of s12.

like just imagine that scene! yaz just baldfaced lying as a way to like, bounce the idea off of him plus double duty to affirm her own beliefs that like the doctor never would plus triple duty paralleling 11x4 for 13 to ensure dan is never gonna ask about this again.

and WE'D KNOW. WE'D FUCKING KNOW. it'd be such a doctor move.

"have you ever told her?" "told her what?" "how you feel about her" "...yes." "well what did she say?" "i think you can guess" yaz snaps because she thinks she can. she has guessed or assumed or sort of correctly inferred a while ago that like, nothing is going to happen here, theres no point in her saying anything because the doctor isnt interested. and dan is like "i find her kind of hard to judge actually" because he still wants to hear an actual answer from yaz but yaz just laughs and goes "tell me about it" and then shes saved by a dalek.

of course we still want dan forcing their hand but thats easy to arrange by instead of him going all battering ram with "she likes you" in the next scene he just has to mention it. and i dont really know how he'd mention it because im not really sure how this would look to him.

so particulars to be determined but he does mention it In Some Way and now theres the doctor in a situation yaz indirectly accidentally put her in where shes suddenly having a Lot to process and also shes gonna lie about :) shes gonna lie about it so hard :)

maybe dan's guess is that whatever the doctor said was less-than-definitive ie vague as fuck because hes known her for like a week and has already seen how good she is at explaining herself and also because of yazs bitter "tell me about it" so maybe what he says is like "you better not be stringing her along"

and the doctor, in her perfectly inscrutable grey area between true What The Fuck Are The Humans Talking About This Time and a carefully crafted mask of obliviousness, goes "string her along what"

"i just mean that you gotta make sure your intentions are clear because it's really not fair to keep her guessing, and hoping"

and the doctor says "i dont understand what youre saying dan" because she really doesnt <3

and dan can still say his canon line "i think that you do, but you pretend that you dont" and in this case hes wrong, but he still hits the mark, wrong calculation right answer because the doctor is still like Fuck.

because she does know, of course. she does know about yaz and shes knows about herself and she knows what shes avoiding. and she will still do the same thing in sea devils. and this weird little lie yaz told will probably never come out. the doctor and her talk, dan isnt there, never sees how New this all is. the doctor has no reason to find out what yaz said to dan.

but we know. we know!!! we get to see this whole comedy of errors play out and still somehow arrive at the same answer. we have to live with how clearly none of them correctly assume each other's understanding of the situation. it'd be frustrating as fuck and such a nice encapsulation of what thasmin has been since the beginning. these half-communications that bounce off each other kind of painfully like billiard balls.

they would never find out. sea devils and potd play out exactly as they did and nobody would ever know. except us. it's a portrait of their shared fatal flaw finally laid out for us in broad daylight at the exact moment they come together. and only we can see it.

[inlove-and-healing]

okay so ive bad this idea in my head for a while... since i was 11, as a matter of fact, sonit would need some polishing to make it a little less cringe.

so, an undertale au. its called torturetale.

frisk falls into the underground, kills Sans, and uses his soul to leave the underground. (who knows, i may have them kill alphys and have sans take the royal scientist role because yknow, look at his shed... but the main thing is that i need the judge role left vacant.)

anyway, alphys (or whoever is in her place) kinda goes... insane. not like the neutral endings where she commits suicide, shes just straight up crazy.

the amalgamates still kind of happen, but instead of being test subjects for DETERMINATION, she uses them as test subjects for a thing that like 1) makes them immortal (so suicide isnt an option) and 2) brings them agony.

maybe its different for every monster? like some types will be bedridden with illness forever, others are in overwhelming pain, others are extremely depressed and anxious... maybe.

(or heres what i could do: frisk kills undyne, which causes alphys to go insane. then after she infects everybody with whatever it is, asgore has her executed, and sans takes her role. maybe? we'll see.)

anyway, this is where the weird stuff starts happening.

so during the war between monsters and humans, the human sorcerers killed a (skeletal) boss monster and used magic to preserve its soul.

this group, kind of like the umbrella corps from resident evil or hydra from marvel, takes the soul. then they kidnap this kid (was an OC, might end up being a reader insert?? probably what ill do, thats what im most comfortable with writing) (also by kid i mean teen) and combine their soul with the monster one.

so parts of their limbs are fully skeletal, their eyes are all black except for the irises (one is blue and the other is yellow). they, like everybody in the underground (even though nobody knows it yet) are immortal. they can teleport, summon gaster blasters and bone attacks, so theyre basically like sans. (when i first came up with this, i thought that gaster was related to sans and papyrus, so i thought maybe the soul would belong to their mother or something??)

anyway, the group uses the kid like an assassin. they make them believe that theyre the good guys, until they discover something that makes them run away, which is how they fall into the underground.

so because the ruins are closed off, everybody down there is unscathed. but toriel tells you that her friend on the other side told her thst things were "bad", and everybody was suffering, but he didnt tell her anything else. then he says one day that he has to go somewhere else, and he doesnt know when hell be back, if ever. (assuming i go the "sans becomes the scientist" route.)

kid tells toriel theyre immortal, and toriel asks them to go check on sans, which is how they find out whats going on in the rest of the underground.

they make it to hotland, and sans' lab, and they work together in the true lab using what few notes alphys took to find a way to reverse what happened.

then maybe an alternate ending, where frisk comes back after everybodys cured. when they meet the kid, they act like sans (i made the kid, called ayanze when she was my oc, to take sans' role. thats why he originally died.) and when frisk gets to hotland, no matter whether or not frisk killed anybody else, sans fights them in his lab. he can be spared if its a neutral/pacifist run (mettaton breaks in for a show and is like sans get the fuck out, but in a genocide or neutral run if you choose to kill sans mettaton breaks in after) and then the kid is the final boss.

because theyre immortal, you beat them by making them lose hope.

so, thats my idea. feel free to leave any suggestions you may have. ive wanted to write this forever but never had the motivation. maybe now i will.

(i will be doing this on a separate blog, which will likely become an ask blog when the first part ((before frisk comes back)) is completed)

[sereniv]

I encourage people to not think of alternatives as a chore, but an exploration.

A lot of people, myself included way back, have a mindset that stops them from finding alternatives they actually like

Either, for example, they just ate dairy Brie, and then go and try a 1 brand of plant based Brie- most likely they are not going to like it because the flavor/texture/smell they are used to is fresh in their mind, and it messes up their perception of what thr vegan brie tastes like

Also, a lot of people try alternatives assuming they wont like it, dont do that. Just be curious, or even assume you will like it.

And dont stop at one! If youre able, keep trying. I just recently found a mozzerella for pizza that i really like even more than one i had been using.

Go over your food and see what you can omit- for example, lets say you put egg in your ramen but its not that big of a deal if you dont- then dont.

Or see what you can alternate- for example using dairy milk in your oatmeal, try oat milk. Or all the many other plant milks

And also figure what animal products are most important to you. Lets say eggs (like it was for me) is the most imporant. You cant live without eggs. Any form of egg.

You keep an open mind, assume youll like one plant based egg- and maybe you find a recipe or a combination of products or some brand that satisfies your craving. You can ease that into your diet

but maybe after trying every recipe and brand nothing is good enough. Or maybe you cant affored either money wise or time wise to find an alternative, but cutting out eggs is not an option bc maybe its even one of your safe foods- then you move on to a different food. Eggs is obviously not something you feel you can give up without being detrimental to you, so move to bacon or deli meat or milks or like above, cheese

but try and have fun. And look up recipes.

Like some cheeses taste and smell disgusting when not cooked (like miyokos pourable mozz), but 1. never smell or taste something that should be cooked, cold. 2. Think of food chemistry, and how like a raw egg isnt as pleasing as a cooked egg.

I just recently tried Eat Meati, which is mushroom root. I had heard good things, and even though mushrooms make me gag even thinking about them, i tried it. And it was pretty damn good. Like a very tender roast, kind of like slow cooked pork, but beef for texture, and just cooked roast as flavor. it smelled amazing.

But i ultimately didnt eat it, my grandma did. because my brain is not ready to move to mushrooms. I cant help it, but i really tried

So of you want to start eating more plant based foods, please have fun with it. look up recipes- plate your food! and even, when you find alternatives you do like remind yourself that you are eating plants

Be amazed at what plants can be made of and that you are enjoying something that is replacing animal products.

And that idea doesnt even just go with plant based alternatives. I did this when i had a mushroom sauce that i liked. or well, it had mushroom extract. But it made me feel good to think "im eating a food i didnt think id enjoy, and it involves mushrooms" its just a happy feeling

Its not all about feeling good, ive had to sacrifice like eggs even though ive found some vegan version i like. And i crave it so bad. But not enough to ruine my life. If it was stressing me out and causing me anxiety then maybe thats something i shouldnt give up- but thats not the case. I more so direct my feelings towards hoping for more people to ask for plant based eggs so theres money in making one

Anyway yeah. Food is fun, it should be fun, but also food has an impact on the enviroment, humans, animals. So encourage yourself to explore omitting, or changing up your meals (within your bounds). And share with people, not as a way to 'turn' them, but be amazed!

there is soo much amazing vegan artisan cheese out there like....

yes, most of them are not very widely available and still quite expensive (though its getting better) but it absolutely exists. and if they were to receive a fraction of the funding that the dairy industry gets, i'm sure they could expand more quickly!!

the idea that you can only make good cheese with mothers milk is just wrong, humans have been making plant based cheese for centuries!

[justtogetthrough]

My kid has been in town a week and knows I've been trying to calm down after some really whack shit happened as I've been honest that I'm struggling. Hes very respectful that i may not be in a place to be around people rn and has been heistant to ask too much from me, which is thoughtful but makes me kinda sad, but jumping to the end of the story when he needed me he did reach out and now he is here today, much earlier than planned but entirely necessary. We were gonna hang out next week and there was loose plans he'd come stay here at some point because his alternatives are couch surfing in residences that are... not overly safe for him. And just, they are busy and chaotic environments where he's on the couch and having to socialize with the hosts and be "on" all the time despite every day being supremely shitty and triggering for him because these people are not good to him. When he shared with his best friend he was planning to ask me to stay at my house rather than another night at their house, his friend legit got upset with him and was alll "what my house isnt good enough for you". And this is from after he escaped to the friend's house to avoid the inappropriate shit taking place at his mom's house, this friend was supposed to be refuge but shit got whack there too. Which im surprised about. This friend knows i am my kid's home, his caregiver. Why the need to guilt trip him into wanting a familiar house where our environment, our relationship is safe, calm, and predictable? Fuck this friend for making him feel bad and fuck this friend for not offering a place of safety where he felt he could stay for more than one night. That's on you pal. My kid can come home any time he wants to escape people like you.

So he arrived home today practically shaking and feeling so guilty for just wanting to be near me, be in his old home, be away from other people (he knows I'm a recluse and given my current mental state need a lot of alone time, meaning he'll have equal amounts of alone time here) where he can just be himself and not try to appease his hosts. He has a bed and a room here and won't be made to feel like he's in the way. In the week he's been back he's experienced so much harm from people he loves and it's fucking tragic.

It blows my mind the trauma this kid has been through just this WEEK. I was really enjoying my week alone but after hearing the horrors of his first of four weeks back in this shit town, I had to get him here. He brought a huge amount of stuff and I suspect this is where he's staying for the next 3 weeks. All I've ever wanted was for him to be safe and loved. He knows he has that here. I often feel like I havent changed his life path, idk if I have set him up for success bc he is making choices I wish he wasn't. But. When he needed safety, when he needed a place to calm down, when he needed a big hug because he has missed me, he knew his home is always available to him and we'll just communicate re: my mental health but if there's one thing I've been able to change in this kid's life? He knows who to call when he needs safety and stability.

A lot of people in my life doubt I will remain his caregiver for the rest of my life, they assume that this was temporary and the longer I have his mom blocked and the longer she's out of my life, her kid will follow. But he's my kid now, like he's been from day 1. And I am his only sense of stability - I will never abandon that kid. He can try to sabotage it all he wants bc he's messed the fuck up, but I am too and I can see through it all. He needs someone to come through for him and I will be that person til the day I die and I do hope I never have to be involved with his mother in any capacity ever again, but recognize there will always be that connection through the kid we share. She never deserved me, but her son was long overdue for someone like me - so maybe the ptsd was worth it. A kid feels safer and more stable because of me. It sucks I'm moving cuz this was supposed to be our home for a good long time - but things change and im actually moving somewhat closer to where he is and I look forward to having him come stay at my new place. It'll be more cramped for sure, 800sqft apartment compared to 1500sqft house. But. I allow him to take up space and I will always take him in when he's in need. His mom is so fucked and his friends just suck.

[paipayaseeds]

(that cat is a gremlin and therefore it has black and white fur as per chaotic cat protocols - 🌺)

She resisted the urge to fully wrap herself on the jacket, not wanting to get it wet. Aimi idly waited in place, complimenting the cats and ocasionally meowing back at them like any polite person would. She put her hands out to take a towel, flushing when he patted her down.

"I- I can do it! Uhm, thank you.."

Taking the towels from Nagito, she reached a hand to pet his head, freezing when she touched a kitten instead. She stared silently for a minute, alternating between cooing and laughing when the little baby peeked it's head out.

"Wait, wait! Stay- stay still a little bit.."

Aimi pulled out her phone, using her free hand to angle his face so she could get a picture of him and the little furball resting on his head. Satisfied with the results, she quickly set it as her wallpaper and tried to scoop up the kitten, who firmly protested. The overdramatic meows proved to be very compelling arguments as she let the kitten nestle itself further into her boyfriend's hair. She handed her phone over to Nagito.

"Look! Aw, it likes you.. do you have any pets?"

She looked at him excitedly, gently petting both him and the kitten. Aimi was one second away from talking the manager into letting him keep this kitten. A waiter came by to try and retrieve the gremlin, being taken aback when they couldn't find it and awkwardly offering them a table. Aimi made a stop by the bathroom, slipping off her wet tights and carefully dabbing her bandages dry. It was still uncomfortably moist, but they would dry soon. She returned the towels and thanked the waiter, sitting down with Nagito and the purry, hidden kitten.

"I think it adopted you.." - The kitten meowed, making her giggle. She leaned over the table to give it scritches. - "He's already mine, you know? You can't just come and steal him away because you're tiny and cute.."

The kitten indulged Aimi in a small debate, squeaking back at her softly whispered words. She was smiling like a fool, only backing away when she felt a strong headbutt against her uninjured leg. She happily greeted the larger cat, placing it on her lap so she could keep running her hands along it's coat as she checked the menu.

"I think I'll have some coffee and a slice of cake.. what about you?"

Taking their order, the waiter noticed that the kitten was, in fact, still in Nagito's hair.

"I see you've met Kitcat! She's a really rowdy one, I haven't seen her sit still for that long unless she's asleep.."

The waiter smiled, and Aimi followed their gaze to the tiny loaf. Kitcat was just chilling there, purring contently on Nagito's head. She felt a little envious, but she wasn't sure if what she wanted most was to have a kitten on her head or lay on Nagito.

Realizing she hadn't already, Aimi wrapped herself in his jacket again, hiding the big cat in it with her. Aimi slipped her hands inside the pockets, eyeing Kitcat. She could probably fit in there. The waiter returned, placing their order down along with a small bag.

"These are treats for the kitties, they come with the food."

They smiled, and left. Kitcat seemed to understand, because she immediately slid down Nagito's face, accidentally clawing at him on her way down. She recklessly jumped on the table, wobbling over to the bag and biting it. Aimi pet her, scooping Kitcat up and handing her over to Nagito. The kitten was very impatient, squirming incessantly in his hold and meowing.

"I know, I know. You'll get the treats, hold on a second.."

She put the treats on a corner of the table, away from their food. Her hand went for the cup of coffee, but reached for Nagito's face instead as she noticed a small scratch. Holding the cat on her lap with one hand, she leaned over to place a kiss on it.

"There. So it heals faster."

Aimi smiled, sipping on her coffe as Kitcat inspected their food. She gently pushed the kitten away when she sniffed her cake.

"No, that's for me. I already let you snuggle my boyfriend, you're not taking my cake!"

Kitcat rolled over on her back, exposing her little round belly and holding Aimi's hand in place as she ferociously attacked it with her back paws. Aimi ate her cake, ignoring the almighty beast lashing at her.

It was like something out of a cheesy romantic comedy; Nagito swore he could see flowers framing his rose-tinted vision. "I'm... utterly in love with you." Nagito grinned, finding the sight of her eating cake and being assaulted by a small kitten; absolutely stunning. And no, he was not being sarcastic; but that was obvious from the way his eyes lidded dazedly at her.

Many would've assumed he was high.

Sliding the pudding — yes, he ordered pudding; ever since that day, he's developed a minor obsession — over to his side of the table, Nagito only seemed to notice KitKat the moment he had brushed his hand against her tail. "Oh- You shouldn't bother Aimi... Oh but, who am I to say that? Trash like me should-" KitKat's mood seemed to dampen as she suddenly halted all her playful advances, standing up to jump into another booth. "Wait no, come back-"

Nagito impulsively scooped her up and off the top of his side of the couch, an unnoticeable pout on his face as he apologized to the mini-animal.

And to no one's surprise, she didn't forgive him — KitKat started clawing her way out of his bony hands, but stopped as soon as Nagito made the wise choice of picking up the bag of treats, and shaking it; unknowingly sending 6 cats on their way to attack them.

Food, the one-way ticket to anyone's heart; it seemed even that technique worked for trash like him.

As he fed the kitten non-stop treats, KitKat finally seemed to settle on his gentle forearm, delighting herself with the easily manipulated, servant of a man. "Would you like to try some?" He wrongfully used the hand full of treats, to gesture at his fancy dessert.

Nagito smiled up at Aimi, blinking twice before realization finally hit.

"The pudding, I meant." He brought his hands closer to him and the cat, half-afraid that he would somehow destroy all the deserts on the table with one single swipe of his hand; Nagito was probably more chaotic than an unhinged KitKat. Unintentionally, of course(?).

A distant choir of meows could be heard a couple of tables away, followed by the sounds of soft paws tapping against the tables.

"Aw, crap!" Uh oh. It seemed like the group of the cats hit someone on the way; well it didn't matter, nothing mattered when food was in their reach.

Nagito felt cold sweat form at the back of his neck, smile unchanged despite the worried look he held. Whether this was good luck or bad luck, seemed to be undetermined.

(iM VERY INDESICIVE AND CONSTANTLY WORRYING SO I HOPE THIS IS OKAY TO DO IM SO SORRY IF IT ISN'TSAHBUJKADSBF JUST IGNORE IT IF IT ISNT)

Pekoyama's assuring voice followed Fuyuhiko's string of curses, "Look at it this way, young master; at least they're paying attention to you." Not one cat had paid her any attention nor love.

"I told you not to call- ... And they're not even staying at our table." The group of sassy, determined cats walked past them and hopped on the table closest to the main couple.

[childhoodgrave]

whats dtl about ifff ud like 2 talk abt it i see cute sprites & decide i wanna know things.. hehe the top hat n cape guy gif is in sync w my music hehe

IM SO GLAD U ASKED this game is probsbly my favorite game ever its been a special interest if mine since i was 7 and i dont think its a GOOD game per se bt i love it a lot and it impacted me a lot as a little kid w a mild interest in art :)

so basically the game is a little 2d adventure platformer where u get to draw and design the character u play as. its p clunky and the way ur character moves looks rlly silly bt again this game was released in like 2010 on the ds so its ok .. the game also gave u templates to go off of and use too just in case u didnt want to design a character from scratch

the story of the first game is abt this world that was drawn into existence by “the creator” in the book of life. u hav this little sequence where u get to draw the world, and the forrests and the creatures tht wld inhabit it. the creatures tht inhabit the world are callec raposa and they r little fox creature w funny ears :)

like this guy (his name is zsasha and hes a thief but hes like a bad one who ends up returning all of the stuff he steals and also watching over a little orphan girl who he basically adopts LOL)

in the universe if the game the “creator” eventually went silent and the raposa lost hope in them ever returning. the world was slowly shrouded in darkness and gradually all of the raposa inhabiting this little village were either lost or left on purpose bc it was slowly falling apart. the game starts when one of the remaining raposa, mari, prays to u, the creator, to come back and help restore her village, saying that everyone else has lost hope but she still believes you can return to her. u can answer, and either say that u will help or you wont, but either way u end up agreeing to help her and she goes to tell her dad, the mayor, abt it. you create a “hero” to be the vessel you will speak thru, and thats the character u end up designing and playing as. the game is abt going to various areas from the village and rescuing all of the raposa that are lost there, as well as restoring the village to what it used to be and drawing in bits of the landscape, like the sun and plants and stuff.

the villain of the story is a guy named wilfre, who was another villager in the town who ended up drawing in the book of life bc he wanted to create things the way the creator had. he ended up making these big inky monsters and got consumed by them, and when u meet him at the beginning of the game he tears up a bunch of pages in the book of life which get scattered across the land and you have to collect them in order to restore the village.

so u basically just go around saving villagers, collecting pages of the book of life, and redrawing bits of the town that were lost to wilfres shadows. eventually wilfre ends up like, killing maris dad (the mayor) and then after youve restored a majority of the village you enter his realm and kill him!! yay :)

throughout the game you also meet these two weird npcs called heather and mike. heather is a little raposa girl who has half of her face covered in shadows, and shes mostly mute. shes found early on in the game and is taken care of by another one of the main characters named jowee

mike is a character u end up rescuing later on in the game, hes p confused and doesnt know how he got where he is, and hes also different from the other raposa bc he doesnt have ears like they do and kind of just looks like a normal human (even tho none of the raposa know what that is and they just think he looks rlly weird)

in the first game heather is shown to take a liking to mike but it isnt explained why and she doesnt talk to its left unexplained

so yah the first game ends with you, the hero, defeating wilfre. mari takes on the role of her father and becomes mayor of the town, and all of the raposa (+ mike) live happily in the town youve restored. the hero goes dormant because theyre no longer needed and u get a scene at the end of the game w them sitting by the ghost of maris father.

the SECOND game takes place a while after the first game, in which wilfre returns and captures heather at the beginning of the game. he also kidnaps a bunch of the other villagers and transports them somewhere else, and he drains the color out of the village the raposa were in. they end up fleeing on a giant turtle with an abandoned town on its back that appears while the color is draining from the village. inside mari and jowee find another mannequin similar to the one the creator had drawn the hero on in the first game. they pray to the creator for help and thats when u draw the hero u get to play as for that game!! the hero doesnt seem to remember mari and jowee or any of the events of the first game, but they agree to help them rescue heather and all of the villagers wilfre stole.

jowee also has like, this magic pendant that belonged to heather that he found after wilfre took her, which seems to be leading them to where heather is. they use that to navigate the turtle thru the ocean to a bunch of other islands on the world. the second game is basically about traveling to different islands and helping them restore the color thats been drained out of them by wilfre. you also meet these two characters, salem

who is a villain in the first island u travel to, and sock

who is a villager on the first island u visit who ends up befriending jowee and traveling with them while they try to save heather.

so ur doing all of that but THEN, halfway thru the game mari is shown to be talking to wilfre, and then she dissapears. jowee assumes wilfre has captured her too, but shes later seen on the turtle again, and rips out a bunch of pages in the book of life the way wilfre did in the first game, and then wilfre appears to take her away and says that shes working with him now. jowee is heartbroken but resolves to get her back as well as heather

THEN, sock, jowees friend from the first island whos been tagging along and helping out, is ALSO revealed to be wilfre in disguise and he betrays jowee and steals heathers pendent, leaving jowee with basically no means of finding heather and wikfre and mari by extension.

so eventually they do end up finding where wilfre is and mari is like “jowee you dont understand wilfre has shown me the truth of our world and who the creator is and thats why im helping him” and jowee is like “i cant believe yoy are helping him how could you i cant believe you bla bla bla” and so wilfre is like “FINE ill show you the TRUTH of this world” and takes jowee and then the hero is kind of left ln their own for a bit to like wander around the world and try to keep rescuing ppl and such. and eventually jowee comes back and is like shaken up but kind of vague abt what wilfre showed him, but he still decides to side with the hero and the creator and eventually mari is convinced by him to join them again as well

so u fight wilfre again and EVENTUALLY wilfre reveals that if you defeat him basically the entire world will dissapear and thats what hes been trying to avoid by fucking w things and messing with the book of life. so all of the raposa have a bunch existential crisis abt them ceasing to exist if they go thru with this but then they decide to to it anyway bc the alternative is just as bad blah blah and u go and kill wilfre and he does this when he dies which is cool

[the gif was fuckjng broken im sorry but like look up his sprites and youll fjnd it 💔]

and now heather is back!! and her and mari and jowee are all talking about mike and how important he is and meanwhile mike has no clue whats going on and is kind of freaked out by all of this, but theyre all like “mike you need to wake up” as theyre all fading out of existence and shit around him and eventually him and heather are the only ones left and they dissapear too

and THATS when you get the ending and find out it was all like a dream mike was having while he was in a coma after a car crash anx this plays while the credits role lol https://youtu.be/Kur0qaYM1jM

^ they ended up releasing different versions oft he game w a less dark (but still w the whole ‘it was all a dream twist’) and thats it!!

there was also another game released for the wii that like gave wilfre a girlfriend kind of but i never played it to completion bc it used the wii remotes motion controls to like draw and shit and it was rly janky and hard so i never finished it and most ppl did the same. i kind of rlly want to try playing it again tho bc it was a p cute looking game even if the controls were fucked up

AND YEA thats drawn to life its a weird silly little series tht i was obsessed w when i was a kid and it still holds a special place in my heart :) i basicaly just spoiled the entire series i guess but if u have a ds or a 3ds (bc the game is backwards complatible ! ) id still suggest like getting a cartidge off ebay or something and playing it bc its honestly a rlly sweet and beautiful looking game and i think a lot of it still homds up even if the controls r rlly janky now

[arlakos]

You said you were looking for ML writing prompts? How do you feel about writing something short for Kagaminette (Marinette/Kagami ship)? If you’re so inclined, anything will do, but for a more specific prompt what about an alternate meeting between the two of them. Please and thank you if you decide to write this prompt.

“Well, this is certainly an interesting request, and a non-salt one as well! I do admit that I did have an idea for a fanfic involving a Kagaminette moment (that would expand into a rather comedic story involving multiple ships), but I like the challenge of creating an alternate meeting (as it restricts my writing out of my comfort zone. With that being said, lets take this story back to where it all began, with a couple of bumps in the plot…”

Marinette grumbled to herself as she walked down to the school, feeling bummed out today. Thanks to a rather untimely order at the bakery taking so long, she was unable to join the enrollment class for  D'Argencourt fencing school, which just so happened to be the one Adrien was doing fencing at! Sure, she wasn’t entirely there for the actual fencing (If anything she was hopefully just there to see Adrien perform and actually get the chance to be with him for a while), but the point still stands that she missed out! Talk about a bummer…

Still, she refused to let a bad moment bring her down! Despite being wayyyyy to late to join the classes, Marinette went to the College Dupont where the fencing classes were, carrying a bag of freshly baked goods. Aside from Adrien, some of her other classmates were also doing their post-school activities, so she figured she would make a quick stop and give them a couple of snacks. She had a pain au Chocolate for Alya, and apple danish for Nino, and a bunch of other treats for her classmates!

Of course, she left aside a perfectly baked croissant just for Adrien…

Of course, as she was imagining Adriens look of happiness getting a croissant, she ended up colliding into someone.

The bag slipped from her hands and onto the floor, but miraculously none of the treats fell out or got bruised. The same couldnt be said for Marinette as she fell onto her butt, groaning at the mild, yet aggravating pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Here, let me help you up.”

A hand was raised out in front of Marinettes face, the latter graciously taking the hand as she was pulled to her feet.

“Oof! Its fine, its not the first time this has happened to me. Most of the time it…usually…my fault…”

Marinette finally got a good look at the person she collided with.

At a first glance, Marinette thought she was looking into a mirror, given that the girl in front of her also had the same shade of blue hair. However, that was where the similarities ended. The girl’s face had much more of an Asian look compared to Marinette, and her eyes were brown compared to Marinette’s own. The girl also had a much serious look on her face.

Her serious look however, did nothing to impact her beauty. From the way she held herself in a prideful stance to her perfectly styled hair to the way her eyes pierced Marinette’s soul, the latter found herself gobsmacked by the girl in front of her. Marinette could tell that this girl was proud of herself, but in a good kind. Like the kind who knew she was best and owned up to it with her actions alone.

Despite not even knowing her, Marinette found herself developing a small amount of jealousy for the girl in front of her. Although she didn’t know her, Marinette could tell at a glance was clearly someone who was confident no matter where she is and when. Marinette hoped for a small tibit that she never met Adrien. If she ever wanted to ask him out, she could probably do it in a heartbeat.

“…Miss? Miss!”

“Huh? Wha-?” Marinette said as she was brought out of her stupor.

“Miss, are you alright? Here’s your bag by the way.”

“Oh! Uh, im fine!” Marinette said as she gratefully took back the bag, glad that her bakery sweets were all intact

“That’s good. I was afraid I might have offended you. I’m quite new to the area, so I wasn’t sure where to go.” The girl said without ever changing her expression. She hummed for a moment, then looked at Marinette again, making the latter’s heart almost stop at the intensity. “Say, are you a student in this area?”

“Yeah, sure. Why?”

“I got lost looking for the Fencing school in the area. I was hoping to find it.”

It was then Marinette noticed the fencing sword that was being carried in a duffel bag. ‘So she’s a fencer too?’ Marinette thought to herself.

“Sorry If I am inconveniencing you. Normally I would catch a ride with the family butler, but he was unfortunately sick today. Fortunately I didn’t live that far as, so I thought I’d try to walk. Unfortunately, I have found myself confused by the structure of the roads and streets.”

‘Butler? So she’s a rich person huh? Just like Chloe….’ Marinette thought, the last bit making her want to grimace. ‘And its obvious that she wants my help…’

For a second Marinette was just tempted to just brush off the girl’s obvious ask for help, as there was a good possibility she could be a pompous brat just like Chloe. The thought however reminded herself that the last time she tried that, she blamed Adrien for Chloe putting gum on her seat, and she berated herself for thinking like that. She should give her a chance, especially after the girl took her time helping her up a minute ago.

“If you need some help getting to the school, I’d be glad to help!” Marinette said smiling. “The fencing school is at the same place as my normal school. I need to go there anyways to see some friends, so i’d be glad to take you there.”

The girl looked at Marinette in shock, as though she never thought the latter would go out of her way to help her. When she recovered though, a small smile covered her face.

“Thank you”

Marinette motioned for the girl to follow her, she realized she forgot something.

“Hey sorry, what’s your name by the way.”

“It’s Kagami Tsurugi”

“Alright then Kagami, follow me!”

———————————————————————————————————–

Marinette continued to walk to the school area, with the new girl (now known as Kagami) following her, without saying a single word.

So naturally, Marinette tried to break the ice. “So…. you are new to Paris or just this part of the area?” she asked.

“New in Paris. I have been to other places in France though. It’s how I was able to learn French” Kagami replied

“Makes sense.” Marinette said “So from what i can tell, you don’t go to Dupont, I assume you go to the other lycee nearby?”

“Oh, i dont go to school”

“What?”

“I’m homeschooled. My family doesn’t like me talking with other people, unless they approve.”

“…Oh.”

There was a pause of silence.

“You know…” Marinette paused, questioning whether she should say it, “You remind me of my friend Adrien. He was homeschooled as well.”

“Really?”

Okay, Marinette really didn’t want to continue, but based on the expected look of Kagami, she couldn’t turn back now. “Yeah. He apparently was homeschooled his whole life, and didn’t have anyone to be friends with aside from Chloe, who isnt … exactly a rather nice person.”

“Hmm, it sounds like you don’t like this Chloe very much. Is Adrien like that as well?”

Marinette gasped, “Oh, Nononono. He is anything but that, he’s been so kind to everyone ever since he got here!” Marinette said smiling. “He’d do anything for his friends, and even strangers, even if they dont deserve it. It was how Adrien and I met unfortunately. Chloe put some gum on my seat and Adrien tried to take it off. Unfortunately i saw him, and because he didn’t say it was Chloe I thought it was him.” Marinette said “Yeah… we didn’t start off on the right foot, but we got better afterwards. He’s such a sweetheart.” Marinette finished smiling

“Sweetheart?”

“Yeah! He’s so nice to everyone and kind and charming…” Marinette said half-effortly as she fell into a brieF daydream. Oh she wished she could be in his arms right now!

Kagami looked at Marinette, who just notice the formers presence, and awkwardly returned to her normalcy. “Oh sorry, I don’t usually do that-”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“You love this boy, Adrien, right?”

“W-Well uh…N-no of course not-”

“You really don’t have to pretend that you don’t. Does he make you…happy?”

Marinette was a bit confused by the question but replied notheless.

“Well… yes, he really makes me happy.”

Kagami frowned for a moment. As Marinette looked into her eyes, she appeared sad. 

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didnt realize what was going on?!”

“Huh… you do?”

“Yes! I didnt realize that you hadn’t found someone to love as well, and i just ended up bragging about it in front of you! I swear i didnt mean to do that i was just talking about someone that you were similar to and i got off track imsosorrypleaseforgiveme-” Marinette said rushingly.

Kagami stood there a bit shocked. “Huh? Oh no that wasn’t the-”

Kagami didnt get a chance to finish as she felt two slender arms wrap around her. Kagami’s breath started to hitch as she felt Marinette’s body close to her own, with the latter’s head on her shoulders. Kagami realized she was in a hug, but was too shocked to do anything about it

The stood like this for a few seconds before both realized what was going on. Marinette removed herself from Kagami as the latter stood there with a blush on her face.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that. I was just trying to comfort you, but then I realized that we had just met and all-”

‘It’s fine.”

“R-Really”

“Yes. It was just…unexpected.”

“Unexpected. Don’t your family or friends give you hugs.”

“I-I dont have any friends. And my family is not as liberal with giving hugs as you are.”

Marinette gasped slightly.

Kagami smiled sadly “It’s fine… I am used to the lack of-”

Kagami was again, lost for words as Marinette hugged her for a second time. When Marientte finally pulled back, she had a confident smile on her face.

“Well It’s about to change now. I can be your friend!”

“You want to be my friend?”

“Of course. I know that you are homeschooled and all, but we can both be friends. And maybe you can meet my other friends as well. You’ll probably be able to since you are going to the fencing classes here, so once you finish you can hang out with us!”

“Hmm…” Kagami pondered in though, but Marinette could see that she had a small but genuine smile on her face. “Friends… That would actually be nice.”

Marinette smiled back “Great! I am sure people will love you there!”

As Marinette continued on to the school with Kagami following her, she was briefly worried for a second. Despite Kagami’s lack of social friendliness, Marinette still felt inferior around her, as the former carried herself with such elegance and grace that she herself lacked. What if she meets Adrien and decides that she likes him? What would Marinette do then?

Yet, despite her worries, as she looked back and saw Kagami give her a small smile, Marinette began to relax and smile

‘Kagami seems so lonely though… she seemed really happy at the idea of having new friends.’ Marinette though. ‘It wouldn’t be fair to me to deny her that just because of my own crush… I’ve got to help her, despite what might happen… besides…’

Marinette looked foward as she continued on ‘I think everything will be alright.’

————————————————————————————

As Marinette and Kagami came to the school, Kagami turned to Marinette.

“Thank you for helping me get here. I probably never would have found it without you.” Kagami said.

“Oh no problem. So I’m guessing you are here to enrol for training right?”

Kagami stopped, then grinned.

“I never said I was here for training.”

Kagami put on her Fencing mask and grabbed her sabre.

“I never mentioned this. My family comes from a long line of fencers. My family has won every tournament they have been to. Every challenge they faced, they overcame. My family bloodline flows through me, and my must prove myself worthy of that blood line.”

“Then why-” Marinette said, before Kagami cut her off.

“I’m here for a challenge. And I cannot lose. I must not lose. For the sake of my family honour and my respect.”

Kagami turned from the door and kicked it open, scaring Marinette. Kagami instantly starts to walk forward, causing Marinette to unconciously follow. Marinette watched as Kagami strode up to the fencing class, the people inside stunned by her entrance. Kagami looked at Mr  Armand D’argencourt.

“Hey, you! Are you Mr. D'Argencourt, the fencing master? I wanna join your team.”

Armand looks at her in suprise, and huffs in indignation. “Only the best are admitted here, you knave.”

Kagami however was quick to retort “And I was, everywhere I went.”

Marinette, looked at Kagami in slight awe. She knew from a first glance that she was confident, but this…

Armand however, would not take it lying down “Part le fer! This whippersnapper has nerve! All right! I may consider your admission, shall you defeat one of my students.” he says while flourishing his blade.

Kagami walks past Armand. “ Which one of you is the best combatant?!”

The crowd, nervous, shuffles a bit, before parting to reveal a boy. He lifts his helmet, and Marinette see’s her crush Adrien Agreste walking forward to challenge Kagami. Marinette felt a small blush at the sight of her crush, but also a tinge of worry.

Armand however, just grinned. “Adrien, please give our visitor a lesson in chivalry.”

Adrien smiled back. “I shall Master” he says as he lowers his helmet.

As the two get their equipment ready, Marinette’s worries started to increase for the sake of her two friends. It was clear for Kagami that she wanted to win so she could join the fencing team, but she was worried what would it mean for Adrien if he was to lose. 

As the two tested the equipment for detecting hits, the whole room was tense.

D’Argencourt look at the two combatants, then said “Prêt… allez!”

The two fencers lunged simulatneously, and both buzzers went off as the same time.

“Simultané! Par un toucher!” D’Argencourt declared as both went back to their starting positions

“I could have sworn Adrien touched her first…” Marinette commented to herself.

As Kagami and Adrien went back to their starting positions, D’Argencourt readied himself.

“En garde! Prêt… allez!” he declared again. Simulatneously both combatants moved at a speed faster than Marinette could see, and again both buzzers went off.

“Uhh… Abstention!” D’Argencourt said sheepishly

“Huh? Whats happening?” Marinette asked out loud.

A student to Marinette’s left chimed in. “Mr D'Argencourt isn’t sure who won, so he’s chosen to abstain. This is a tight bout.”

Both combatants readied themselves again.

“En Garde-”

“Wait”

D’Argencourt and Adrien looked at Kagami.

“I request that we do it the old-fashioned way. We’ll be much more at ease without the machine.” Kagami declares.

D’Argencourt looks at Adrien. “Adrien?” He questions.

Adrien grins, “Fine with me.” He says, as he unplugs the body cord.

Kagami does the same, and they both ready themselves.

Marinette looks at the student next to her “But how will we know who touched the other one first?”

“By watching very closely.” the student replies.

“En garde! Prêt… allez!”

Without the body cords holding them back, the two start going at it like crazy, both of them simultaneously attacking and defending within milliseconds of each sabre hit. The crowd started to go wild as all who stood there witnessed the unrestrained skill of the two proteges constantly lunging, blocking, dodging, and overall giving neither the breathing room.

“Woah…” Marinette said weakly “Is this what fencing’s all about?!”

“Part le fer! This IS what fencing’s all about!” D’Argencourt said excitedly as the rest of the crowd agree with him in cheers of excitement.

Soon after, the fight started to move up the stairs, causing the crowd to follow at the bottom of the stairs. Marinette, being blocked by the crowd, went to the other set of stairs and climbed up those, allowing her to follow the two fencers into the library.

Both fencers were starting to wear down from the intense speed, yet neither wanted to give up.

“Let’s finish this off.” Kagami declares as she readies another lunge. Adrien does the same.

Marinette watches as both fencers lunge, and both fencers foils press each other at the same time.

Kagami suddenly broke off. “Marinette! Who got the first hit?! Who?!” she said breathlessly as she looked at Marinette.

D’Argencourt suddenly appeared, crawling in pain. “Who touched first? Tell us now!”

Marinette looked flustered, everyone was looking at her. “I-I-I don’t know,” she said closing her eyes in stress.

Suddenly time for her seemed to go to a crawl for her. It was like whatever happened next rested on that decision she made.

Marinette closed her eyes, remembering what had happened. It seemed that both of them had hit at the same time, but Adrien’s foil did seem to bend a bit faster, meaning that he could have hit first, but Kagami seemed a bit faster on her feet. So who won?

Marinette didn’t consider herself lucky as a civilian but in that memory of hers, her Lucky vision seemed to flare up. It slowed the memory to a crawl, but then both foils lighted up in red and black spots at the exact same time they made hits on each other. So it seemed that both fencers had hit each other at the same time after all.

So the question was, who to give the point to.

Marinette knew that Adrien’s father was really strict with him. If she didn’t give him the point, his father could get mad. Adrien would get grounded and in deep trouble, or worse, take him out of school because he wasn’t being perfect with his study and practices! Then she would never see him again!

Kagami however….

My family comes from a long line of fencers. My family has won every tournament they have been to. Every challenge they faced, they overcame. My family bloodline flows through me, and my must prove myself worthy of that blood line.

- I cannot lose. I must not lose. For the sake of my family honour and my respect.

Kagami seemed to be in a similar predicament to Adrien, even more so than Adrien. Sure Adrien did fencing as a hobby, but Kagami’s family took fencing as something important to them, and Kagami herself. If she lost the match, then Kagami wouldn’t be able to join the team, and it would likely be in trouble with her family, if Adriens family was anything to say about rich families.

Marinette made her mind.

Time seemed to resume around her. “Kagami got the first hit.”

The crowd gasped. D’Argencourt was in shock. “Wha- Are you sure?”

Marinette nodded. “Kagami was able to get the first hit in. I saw it.”

Kagami relaxed, and Adrien lifted his helmet to give a smile to his competitor.

“Well, it seems you won that match.”

He reached out his hand, and both of them shook in mutual respect

“Sacre Bleu! It seems that It is a loss for the D’Argencourt Academy.” D’Argencourt said miserably. However, he quickly perked himself up. “However, it is not an entire loss, for today we have a new member in our ranks. The D’Argencourt fencing team would be happy to have you if you would accept.”

Kagami pulled off her helmet, causing some murmurs at the surprising beauty, but she didn’t let it faze her. “I would be happy too.”

Marinette smiled, happy that neither Adrien or Kagami seemed to be in any sort of trouble. Adrien seemed to take the loss with no issue, and Kagami got her wish. Marinette hoped to apologize to Adrien later, but as Kagami, Adrien, and D’argencourt walked off to finalize the former’s entry into the fencing team, she felt that she did the right thing…

Oh, darn, the baked goods!

Marinette quickly grabbed the bag and ran off to where her other friends were having their after school activities. She would give Adrien his croissant later, she had others to deliver to.

———————————————————————————————

Time passed… and Kagami was officially one of the new members on the fencing team alongside Adrien. Marinette managed to give Adrien his croissant after delivering all the other baked goods, which he graciously accepted with a smile. Marinette managed to meet Kagami outside of the school, who was waiting for the family car.

“Hi Kagami.”

“Hello Miss.” Kagami said. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah! I managed to deliver the bakery foods to my classmates. Congrats on making the team by the way!”

“Yes, it’s really good,” Kagami said. For a second, she looked a bit forlorn “I have to ask though, did I really win?”

“Huh?”

“Did I really win? Or did you do it because you felt pity for me?”

“Pity?-Nonono I was just trying to help you- No wait that came out wrong as well.”

“…I understand.”

“No you don’t understand. You didn’t lose, it’s just- Look, both of you hit each other at the same time.”

“W-What” Kagami said in shock.

“Y-Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes, both of you were so extremely skilled that you were both neck and neck, I saw both of you hit each other at the same time. I was just pressured to make a choice, so I chose you.”

“But why didn’t you say we both hit? We could have just started over”

“Because both of you would keep going for no reason at all! Both of you are amazing out there, and if i declared that you lost you would have never forgiven yourself for something you didn’t need to forgive!”

Marinette placed a hand on Kagami’s shoulder. “I chose you because I thought you deserved it, because you were really amazing out there and did not deserve one loss to affect your life and self-worth. Besides, now you’re in the team like you wanted, your family would be happy with you and Adrien is fine regardless, I’m sure he’ll be ok.”

“She’s right you know. I still wouldn’t mind a rematch though.”

Kagami gasped in shock and Marinette screamed as Adrien came up behind them with a slight grin on his face

“Sorry if I scared you both.” Adrien said sheepishly.” I just wanted to say congratulations on making the team. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Mr D’Argencourt about the tie, you really deserved to join the team with us, you were really an amazing fencer, miss…?”

“Kagami Tsurugi. And you must be Adrien Agreste.”

They both shook hands like after the fight. Marinette felt a slight twinge of jealousy for Kagami’s confidence but said nothing. She wouldn’t ruin Kagami’s celebration, not after everything.

“And you must have met my good friend Marinette.” Adrien said pointing to Marinette.

And that’s the moment where Adrien Marinette wanted to crawl under a rock. Adrien had called Marinette a friend. Just a friend. She really felt sad inside.

“Yes I did. She helped me get to the school when i got lost.” Kagami said.

“That’s Marinette for you. She really is so kind and helpful.” Adrien replied,

“Yes. She really is.” Kagami said as she gave a smile to Adrien.

Adrien’s car pulled up. “Sorry Kagami, Marinette, I gotta go home. Talk to you later.” Adrien said as he entered his family car.

As Adrien left, the two girls stared at eachother.

“Marinette huh? That is your name...”Kagami said, pondering the name on her lips.

It was at this point that Marinette realised in all the stuff she did today with Kagami, she had forgotten to give her name to her. She gave Kagami an awkward grin.

“Ehehe...sorry. I was just so-”

“It’s a cute name.”

That off hand comment stopped Marinette, causing her to blush.

At that moment, Kagami’s own car popped up. Walking towards the car together, Kagami turned to Marinette.

“Thank you for everything Marinette. It means a lot.”

“Oh uh, it was nothing!”

“Even so, thank you.”

Marinette stood in shock as Kagami moved in slowly and gave a slow gentle kiss on her cheek.

“U-Um, Kagami?” Marinette said flustered.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I though french customs involve kissing others on the cheek?” Kagami said in surprise, although a small part of Marinette said Kagami knew what she was doing.

“W-Well, yes, but its usually on both sides.” Marinette said, who was blushing.

“Hmmm. In that case, let me fix it.”

Kagami moved to the other cheek, and gave it another slow gentle kiss. Marinette felt that this one was even slower than before.

“U-Um, I should mention that it’s usually done a bit faster?” Marinette said, who at this point looked red from embarrassment and the rather intimate action

Kagami just grinned, almost mischievously. “Oh, im sorry then, I’ll make sure to fix it next time.”

Marinette watched Kagami get into the car. “It was nice to meet you Marinette, and thanks for all that you did. Do tell Adrien that I would like to have that rematch with him, if he doesn’t mind.”

“O-ok, I will!”

“And I’ll make sure to improve my greeting next time. I could have done better with that kiss.”

“Oh-Um…”

Kagami grinned and got into the car. Marinette watched it drive off.

“I think she likes you!”

“Wah! Tikki?!”

“Sorry Marinette! I couldn’t talk, there were too many people around.” Tikki said from inside the bag. “But Kagami really took a liking to you. I think she really likes you, thats why she gave you that kiss!”

“H-Huh?! N-No way! W-we are just friends, t-thats all. She just made a mistake with the kiss that’s all!”

“Didn’t she say that she has been to other parts of France? Surely she learned French customs there.”

Marinette blinked for a moment. 

Then she screamed into her shirt.

—————————————————————————

As Kagami went home, she looked out the window with a small smile on her face.

‘Marinette….’ Kagami thought. ‘I hope to see you again soon.’

———————————————————————–

Sorry for the long wait @vitaliciouscreations! I had a lot of stuff to do, and it takes a while for me to write something this big. I tried to make a slight Kagami/Marinette ship, but I didn’t want it to be so noticeable until the end for a slight slow burn! Anyway’s, I hope this Kagaminette fic with the alternate introduction makes you happy!

[ravenaveira]

Ok, time for my review of Kh3 Re:Mind Dlc

This is gonna be long, so be prepared, and yes there will be many spoilers so if you dont want spoilers of the game then you probably shouldnt read this, but if you dont care then stick around.

I will start off with my unbiased and critical opinion.

From the title menu alone you already know what this game is gonna be about. Kairi is gonna be center focus, or should say specifically Sokai, and Riku will be virtually non existent.

Now I know what your thinking, well duh its all about saving Kairi of course Riku wont have that big a role and she’ll be the main focus, and to that I say no shit sherlock I already knew that. My issue isnt that it was Kairi focused because I already knew that and still pre-ordered the DLC, but my issue is what this title screen represents and my fears were proven correct.

Let me elaborate

Riku is just as much of a friend to Sora as Kairi is, from the beginning of the series its always been Sora, Riku, and Kairi, thats the way its ALWASY been. But from this title screen I could tell Riku’s bond with them wasnt gonna be present at all and I was right.

I’ll elaborate further

I know Im jumping way ahead here but bare with me, at the end of the game after Sora rescues Kairi they travel the worlds together, Sora notices he is fading away which is why he goes to the many different worlds he has visited but now with Kairi, spending his final moments with her before he finally disapears.

See the problem? Sora doesnt involve Riku at all in his final moments being alive, he is just completely absent during his entire remaining life. Sora only spends time with Kairi during his final moments, Riku wasnt shown with them once.

I know some people say well we dont know how long Sora was alive before vanishing and he was probably the one who organized the party, but did we see that though? did we see any signs that Sora was alive for more than a day or two? did we see Sora talking to anyone like he was setting anything up? NO, it was all about Kairi and Riku was completely forgotten.

I can understand if Sora wasnt dying then it wouldnt matter how much time he spends with Kairi alone, but Sora was fading away ANY SECOND and he didnt spend any of his remaining time with Riku at all, even at the beach party who is Sora sitting next to alone with before he finally vanishes? Kairi. That is inexcusable and a huge insult to Riku and his bond with Sora, hes just completely excluded, that is unforgivable.

These new added scenes to the ending actually made it worse than the original version of it, before we didnt even know Sora was around for more than a day and just assumed they all had a beach party afterwards to celebrate getting everyone back and saving the world, but now we know Sora was actually around for an extended period of time and made no effort to spend time with anyone other than Kairi, not even his best friend Riku did he spend time with for his final hours, that is despicable.

Another major issue is how Sora keeps saying his journey started with losing Kairi in this game, as if Riku wasnt ALSO lost that day, as if Riku wasnt the reason Sora kept on his journey even after saving Kairi and sending her back to Destiny Islands, as if he didnt fall to his knees and bawl his eyes out finally reuniting with him, as if he wasnt content with spending the rest of his life trapped in the Realm of Darkness with Riku, as if for the entirety of the base game of kh3 Sora wasnt constantly and only thinking about Riku and how many things he wished he could show him.

Apparently in Remind none of that happened, none of that mattered, it was Kairi that was his main motivation, it was Kairi that started his journey, Riku wasnt involved in it at all.

That is a huge issue with this DLC, it treats Riku like a side character and of little importance to Sora, in the base game they handled them fine minus that on instance in the Keyblade Graveyard where Sora says ‘Alone, Im worthless’ even though Riku’s right there but other than that their relationship and bond was handled very well but in Remind? practically non existent.

Now onto the story aspect, if your not into time travel and have trouble understanding the many variations of it then your gonna have a bad time because it gets VERY confusing to follow, which is why you should never introduce time travel because it becomes way too complicated to keep track of and not only that you also have to worry about things like paradoxes, ripples in time, alternate timelines etc. Its a complete clusterfuck to keep up with and manage so time travel really shouldnt have been introduced in this series.

Chirithy tells Sora that no matter what he cant change the past again, yet there are times where Sora does just that so exactly what cant he change? for example, when Roxas appears he asks Sora to do him a favor which is essentially getting the X back from Xemnas in their names. Sora does several things to make this happen and even Kairi gets a couple swings at Xemnas this time but then the two of them are basically caught and restrained inside shadow balls [pause]

See the prob? this is a huge change to that fight, Kairi never took a single swing at Xemnas, she just stood there and got snatched up, Roxas never asked Sora for help getting the X’s back from Xemnas, and Sora and Kairi never got restrained by Xemnas and knocked out.

Chirithy explicitly said Sora cant change what happened and no matter what he has to accept it for what it is, yet here he is, changing what happened. Maybe you could argue well this is an alternate timeline, even if it is that makes all of this irrelevant and means it never happened because the true ending is the one where it didnt happen, making this semi useful Kairi moment really pointless because at the end of the day its not canon, her being useless is the true outcome, none of this matters.

That is extremely disappointing, so even if you alter the past for the better it doesnt matter because its an alternate timeline and that timeline isnt the real one making this whole redo pointless and time consuming for a short DLC that was an extra 30$ to play.

So the time travel is very confusing and even if you follow it, it ends up being very disappointing when you realize none of it matters.

Moving on to some of the tied loose ends, Im glad they explained why Aqua froze up after saying ‘We stand together’ and I like how we get to see how Young Xehanort came to have the beliefs that lead to what he did and also MOMs subtle influence on him succumbing to darkness.

He told Xehanort that he would outgrow the robe and no longer need it because if he was truly powerful then he’d be the one controling the darkness, this leads to Xehanort later begining to travel without the robe and being corrupted. So we know now that MOM also influenced that as well and is very sketchy, even more now than he was before since this action greatly influenced what Xehanort eventually does and all the pain he caused, all of which would have probably never happened if it wasnt for him.

But thats just my theory and what I got from it.

I liked that we got to see Namine for a brief moment where Sora basically brushes her off and completely forgets about thanking her, this is a plotline Im pretty sure at this point is just never going to get resolved. He just tells her to go to the Final World and walks off, which makes no sense because Sora was surprised to see her in the original playthrough.

Another change was Lingering Will dying to protect Sora, again this never happened because Sora was busy fighting alongside everyone in the maze while Lingering Will and Terranort were fighting away from them. After Lingering Will died for him then Sora is pretty much squeezed to death by Terranorts Stand, or atleast knocked unconscious.

So much about these are just so confusing as to how they are happening when Chirithy said the events couldnt be changed I just stopped questioning it.

But atleast this time its made clear that Namine is the one who sent Lingering Will to help everyone and how she did it, so now people can stop saying Kairi is the reason everyone survived because it wasnt, without Lingering Will they would have all died a second time.

Basically the first half of the DLC is just recap with some minor changes and additions to the cutscenes, you get to play as other characters like Riku [optional] Aqua [not optional] and Roxas [optional] but other than that its basically the same thing all over again for the first 3-4 hours of the DLC, that is ridiculous.

The new content finally starts when Kairi is shattered, funny how the game gets good after Kairi dies xD I’ll stop.

Anyway once Kairi dies is when we finally get explorable Scala, but not without having to endure an insane fight with tons of heartless and nobodies and yes its more complicated than you think. It doesnt matter how many heartless or nobodies you kill, they will keep coming until you kill this one red heartless with way more health than your average heartless has.

After that you can pretty much wander around Scala as you wish and this is the only time where you can buy items or food so make sure to do that if your low on items. If your low on money there are minor enemies there that you can kill to get some so take advantage of this opportunity because your not getting another one.

Your goal in Scala is to basically run around, solve a couple puzzles, and get 5 of Kairi’s heart shards, revealed to having to be 7 later on. Sound fun? besides being able to see more of Scala’s layout, not really. But its a good place to take a breather before getting back into the big battles ahead.

Unfortunately your actually forced to fight the armored organization again but thankfully you dont have to do the ENTIRE final battle over, just that one section which I appreciate but wish we didnt have to do any of it at all.

So after we’re done Scala we get in MY opinion the two best parts of the entire DLC. We get to see what was going on with the rest of the keyblade wielders back home and it was INSANE and extremely well done, everybody had a chance to shine.

When everyone was swept away and Mickey was down and out, it was amazing seeing Mickey push himself back up and slowly with what little strength he had take on all the armor organization BY HIMSELF severely weakened, yet still powerful enough to hold them off and stand his ground. He really showed us WHY he is the King, so THAT I really enjoyed. It was extremely well done and one of the most memorable parts of the DLC.

The next part was even more insane and well done, which is us getting to fight as all the keyblade wielders against the armored organization and even get some cool dialog and team attacks in between, it was just amazingly well done seeing everyone work together and switching between characters was just so epic and enjoyable.

Honestly I could play those two parts over and over again and enjoy it everytime, their just that good and the most memorable in the entire DLC.

Coming back with Kairi and killing Xehanort together with all the keyblade wielders including Kairi this time was satisfying to see but it excludes Xehanorts and Eraquses final words, I mean yea seeing Xehanort have a semi happy ending put off alot of people but at the same time, seeing Xehanort come to the realization that he was wrong about everything and giving the Wayfinder trio closure by seeing their master one last time and hearing his apology to them just held more weight to me.

Im not saying I think Xehanort should be redeemed as easily as he was, but I feel like excluding Eraqus and their final words made the ending feel hollow, just ok we beat the bad guy, happily ever after now. Thats pretty lackluster and unsatisfying In my opinion.

Finally the ending....

Heres where Im gonna be biased and give my personal thoughts. Warning if your a fan of Kairi skip to the very end of the review where I give my overall rating

I hate the ending, for the reasons I listed in the beginning but also many others. I get the main focus was gonna be Kairi since the DLC was about saving her, Im not mad about the obvious, Im mad about the execution.

The Sokai agenda was so forced and apparent its not even funny, they shove it in your face so hard yet when Sora is talking with Chirithy he still refers to Kairi as a friend, really? your shoving this pairing down our throats just to have Sora still friendzone her? Im not mad because I dont want them together anyway but I hate the games being played here, you either want them together or you dont, pick a friggin side Nomura.

And while we’re on the subject, I hate, HATE, how this game is so heavily romance focused when Kingdom Hearts was NEVER about romance to begin with, it was always about friendship and bonds. Not in this DLC though, no now its all about Kairi and being with her forever, traveling the world together, holding hands, all this lovey dovey nonsense nobody invested in the plot could give a rats behind about.

Sure people who are into Kingdom Hearts for the romance of course they dont mind, but Im pretty sure MOST people invested in this series are in it for the story, not some stupid pairing, and I HATE how much they shove it down your throat because it is just so forced and obvious what they were doing.

This was all damage control for Kairi, who has been a useless damsel in distress and dues ex machina in every single game shes been a part of. I repeat, EVERY SINGLE GAME SHES A PART OF.

Kh1 - Kidnapped, unconscious, Sora needs to die to save her.

Kh2 - Kidnapped, held hostage, Sora needs to find and save her.

Kh3 - Kidnapped, unconscious, is killed twice, Sora needs to die to save her.

Do you see what I fricken mean? Every fuckin game its the same danm thing over and over and quite frankly Im sick of it. You might as well say this is a Mario game because Kairi is princess Peach always gettin snatched up and Sora is Mario always going through insanely deadly trials to get her back, and then it happens all over again.

This DLC was damage control for that, instead of immediately getting snatched up by Xemnas she actually gets a few good swipes at him to no avail of course, and then she fights together with Sora against armored Xehanort, all of which is just damage control for her not doing anything in the entire franchise and pandering to her fanbase that are constantly screeching for playable Kairi and for her to do something.

It was also damage control for how non existent their relationship was and what a joke its been since Kh1. They arent fooling anybody because thats exactly what this was, otherwise why you have to try so hard to CONVINCE us how important she was to Sora? why did Riku have to get sidelined so much just to boost Kairi up? why’d Sora completely disregard Riku as a part of his journey? why did Sora not spend ANY time with ANYONE for his final moments alive? its so obvious why. The only way to convince anyone shes actually important and relevant is to play down everyone else or exclude them entirely.

Congratulations, you got your wish, good for you fandom, but at what cost?

The time they spent forcing so much Sokai could have been used to tie up way more loose ends than there were but nope, gotta squeeze in that Sokai, thats what yall really here for right? fuck off.

The two best moments of the game was so short lived its not even funny, this DLC was full of so much padding in the first half, forced romance and pandering for damage control they forgot to actually make this a decent DLC.

Since I recorded my gameplay from start to finish I can actually tell you the amount of old content vs the new

3-4 hours of mostly what we already seen with a few changes, I only died twice

1-2 hours of new content, probably less because I got lost and died alot

That is unacceptable, 30$ for only 10% new content? that is a robbery.

Not only that but the worst part is the Limitcut episode, databattles have always been optional for competative players who like the challenge. Now you are FORCED to fight these INSANELY hard bosses, all 13 in order to get the final bits of the aftermath of the story.

WE PAID FOR THIS, this wasnt free we PAID for it and yet we’re basically told ‘Hey if your a casual player and want the rest of the story? well you gotta fight 13 of these insanely hard databattles that used to be optional but now their madatory for you to get the rest of your moneys worth. Too difficult? cant do it? well too danm bad, get good or go home we got your money already so screw you guess you’ll never know’

That is a fucking robbery and a huge slap in the face to people who are invested in the story, not proving their the best by fighting insanely difficult battles no matter what difficulty your on. It wouldnt be an issue if this was always the case, but these battles were always OPTIONAL for competetive players to do if they WANTED to, but now its mandatory and if you cant do it then oh well middle finger to you.

I couldnt even beat Vanitas, I fought him first and then Luxord and I couldnt beat either of them so I just said fuck it and went on youtube to see what I paid to see for free. 30$ wasted on a game I cant even finish, your out of your fucking mind if you think thats fair and excusable.

Thats why at the end of the day I give it a 5/10, its not good but its not bad either, its just decent. But if you asked me if it is worth the time and money? fuck no, my advice? watch other youtubers play it and keep your 30$

If you want it just to play as some of the characters, experience the new content for yourself, and play the databattles then by all means get it.

But if you think thats not enough for you to spend 30$ for then dont get it.

Overall Re:mind gets a 5/10, useless padding for majority of the first half of things we’ve already seen and cant skip because theres new scenes mixed in, forced romance that nobody but shippers care to see, severely lacking new content, and unfair extremely hard mandatory databattles just to see the final aftermath of the story which is kind of important setup for the next game.

Fuck this DLC, this was my fist time EVER buying a DLC for ANYTHING and thanks to this its probably my last. So thank you Re:Mind, for ReMinding me why I never bought DLCs in the first place.

Ps - Im so glad playable Kairi was optional, thats one of the only things this DLC did right.

[wings-of-a-storm]

LUCAS’ HELL NIGHT ANALYSIS: PART 2 OF 2

Well, with this piece, I have officially finished trying to give voice to all the  frenzied thoughts in my head after watching that terrible Friday night unfold for Lucas.

I think the hardest part was revisiting the anguish on Lucas’ face. That is going to haunt us all for a while, no doubt...

Alright so we are up to Lucas running for the exit of Chloe’s house after finding Eliott with Lucille and being publicly outed... That poor guy.

OPEN GANG WARFARE

I only realised upon watching this scene that you actually see the ripple of Lucas coming through the crowd before you actually physically ‘see’ him. Like people were actually flying across the screen because Lucas was shoving partygoers out of the way to get to the doorway. He was like a hurricane, leaving a trail of destruction before and after him. From our limited angle, there are at least two victims: Unknown Partygoer No.1, and the Bouncer.

A minute of silence please for the victims of Lucas’ savagery. Particularly for Unknown Partygoer No.1 who was actually shoved aside the first time Lucas entered the house as well. :’)

Obviously I laugh otherwise I cry. It was actually heartbreaking seeing the lengths Lucas needed to go to to get out of there before he lost it completely.

I actually felt bad for Basile in this scene -- he was being really sweet and trying to grab hold of Lucas to, I dunno, support him? Calm him? Reassure him? He wasn’t to realise that that was the worst thing he could have done because Lucas needed space and distance from the heartbreak he had left behind in the house.

Things might have been ‘okay’ if Arthur’s patience hadn’t snapped; if he hadn’t escalated things further with that passive aggressive jab that was rather below the belt regardless of Lucas’ lies. Things could have been worse though -- there could have been actual punches instead of all the shoving and pulling. And the only casualty was Arthur’s glasses (which the petty part of me kind of revels in?). But still, getting into any physical altercation with your friends is extreme and just goes to show the pressure cooker Lucas’ life had become.

It is a shame the Gang had to reach this point, but they’ve all been kind of assholes to each other at one time or another. I think perhaps only Yann has been a good friend to everyone. Arthur, Lucas and Basile have all been hurtful at some point…

I wonder where Lucas and Arthur will go from here though; how they will make up in the school break if they aren’t forced to see each other in class. (Assuming David sticks to reality in his skipping of the hiatus?) This type of anger between them seems much closer to Marti and Elia than the og -- and it took the special powers of the love wizard Giovanni GaraU to piece their friendship and pride back together. Does Yann have the same touch? Time will tell...

ELIOTT KISSING LUCILLE

Lucas had already reached his breaking point when he engaged in a physical altercation with his friends. He had already lost control over his emotions and was incredibly vulnerable standing exposed in front of the yard. People were staring at him and Arthur was still screaming bloody murder from the doorway about wanting to slap the hell out of him. Of course it was at this moment when Lucas saw the man behind his heartache kissing the girl he said he had broken up with.

So much of Lucas seeing Eliott kissing Lucille was awful. Firstly, Eliott and Lucille could have just stayed inside the party, but them seeking out time alone outside is just so private and intimate.

Secondly, Eliott was the one initiating everything (something none of his counterparts did). He was the one cupping her face and smiling at her and going in for two kisses. Two!

And thirdly, yes, that smile of his as he was looking at her was meant to cut all of our hearts out. Eliott’s smile is like his strongest weapon even if he doesn’t realise it. He uses it as a shield and he uses it to express all the pure and lovely joy in his heart. When he walks into any room, that smile is the first thing you see. It’s nuclear -- even from far away, that smile absolutely knocks you out. And boy did it knock Lucas out.

I’m not sure I’d go as far as to say Eliott was giving Lucille the same smile Lucas gets. Eliott’s a very smiley person and even Lucas’ friends received that kind of smile when Eliott didn’t even known them. I feel like there is an extra level of giddiness to Eliott’s smile when he looks at Lucas. I wasn’t worried about him smiling at Lucille so much. Especially when I assume the context of it, which is...

Okay, so after Eliott was hurt by Lucas and feeling like he had to give him up so as not to be a burden to him, he would have been absolutely devastated. We saw his face in that corridor and that would have been him trying to hide most of it. I’m a little grateful we never saw the extent of Eliott’s private devastation...

But Eliott’s snap decision to cut Lucas out of his life, meant he was suddenly alone with this intense heartbreak, and probably feeling extra vulnerable because it related to that terrible force in his brain that he can’t control and that always messes his life up.

No matter how strained his and Lucille’s relationship had become in the end, she was still someone close to him who really knows who he is and has seen the worst of him. She is so safe. And since we have never seen Eliott with any friends at school, I imagine that Eliott is pretty isolated at the moment without her. It feels completely believable that he would seek Lucille out for that comfort and security. It would also make him feel better about his mental illness to know that there is someone in the world (excluding his parents who we have no information on aside from David’s headcanons), who sees that side of him and accepts it. He’s not alone with it.

Luckily for Eliott, Lucas made his comments about mental illness only a day or two after Eliott had broken up with Lucille. That meant there was a window of opportunity to try and repair things with her. It would have required a lot of effort on his behalf though, to be convincing enough for her to take him back even though he was secretly battling heartbreak over someone else. He might have even ironically used his mental illness as an excuse for their break up (actually, I am convinced he did because it will probably end up fuelling a certain comment from Lucille to Lucas about Eliott’s patterns).

What this means though is that Eliott has to stay convincing for Lucille: he has to be that happy boyfriend who wants to be with her, who just suffered a blip. If Lucille sees through him, he is in danger of being alone again. There is probably also an element of Eliott needing to convince himself that he will be happy with Lucille and can make their relationship work. The alternative of being alone after such a terrible year is just too painful.

So yeh, I’m not too surprised by all the smiles and kisses that Eliott was initiating with Lucille even though it hurts to see them. His instagram diary tells us the truth: that while he recognises the good parts of having Lucille as his girlfriend, it isn’t the same now.

(Side note: His ‘L and him’ caption breaks me! Like A) he is distancing himself from himself, and B) it’s like he is cherishing the letter L and finding comfort that he still has an L in his life. He can almost pretend it is the other L...)

LUCAS' FACE AFTER SEEING ELIOTT KISSING LUCILLE

Well, Lucas’s face after seeing Eliott smiling at Lucille, cupping her face, kissing her, doing things he can still remember Eliott doing with him not too long ago... That is a face that is going to haunt us for a long time. The level of fury in it, of betrayal... I’ve never seen anything like it in Skam. That expression not only cuts straight through your chest, it strangles your heart.

it was so powerful and clearly the exact moment Lucas reached the bottom of what he could endure. Like shit, place a copy of that face into a scientific journal under “Human breaking point.”

When I think about that look and all the intense emotions swirling behind it, It feels like the dark twin of the look Eliott gave Lucas when he was playing piano. When Eliott looked at Lucas in that moment, you were just hit with those eyes, and it felt impossible to even begin describing all the different emotions in them. Lucas’ devastating fury holds a very similar power with all the complex emotions behind it. I consider it a ‘twin’ because Lucas’ eyes also seemed fuelled by love, but love that had been desecrated and turned into a wound against him...

(That gruesome lip curl when he glanced back at Arthur still yelling at him though. Oh damn that was fierce.)

Oh gosh guys, it was just so hard seeing Eliott kiss Lucille during the worst time of Lucas’ life. It was stomach-churning in a ‘I think someone just punched me in the gut’ way. Like, Lucas used to go to this guy for comfort and now in his time of need, when his ex-beard is yelling out his sexuality to strangers, when his friends are yelling awful things at him for everyone to hear, he not only doesn’t have Eliott to go to, but Eliott is so engrossed in the person Lucas always felt second-rate to. Eliott doesn’t even look up at the noise, he is completely oblivious to Lucas’ distress. Could Eliott feel any further away?

I don’t even want to begin trying to imagine everything Lucas was feeling at that moment as he looked at Eliott and Lucille. It is just too devastating. It actually feels worse than what Eliott went through in the school corridor, because at least then Eliott had control over it. Eliott could walk away before ever having to see what Lucas’ face would look like if he learned of Eliott’s mental illness; before ever having to hear Lucas break up with him over it.

Eliott also had all the information over their break up while Lucas remains in the dark (hi Polaris). Lucas is the one who has to see the guy he is in love with for real kissing the person Lucas has always felt second-rate to. And after all those promises that they would be together because Eliott had chosen him...

And since Lucas does not have the information on their break up that Eliott has, all Lucas can see when he looks at them is: Eliott never loved me; Eliott played me; Eliott has been happy with Lucille while I have been so miserable I’ve barely had energy to get off the couch; Eliott lied to me; Eliott never needed space, he just used it as an excuse to get back with Lucille without guilt; of course Eliott doesn’t want to be with me, why would I be so stupid to believe that he did?

And then in the midst of all this gut-wretching pain and the slap of betrayal, Lucas glances back at his friends who he just fought with, who can’t understand what he is going through, who are still hurling really hurtful things at him from the doorway (well, Arthur is), and he is just over everybody.

It almost feels like he is standing in this awful triangle of snipers who have opened fire on the most raw parts of his life -- his sexuality, his family situation, and the man he loves humiliating him in front of everyone. It’s just way too much humiliation and exposure for one person to take. Of course he had to get as far away from everyone and that hellhole of a place as soon as possible.

What is extra fun is that the people behind Lucas seem to have pieced some of the puzzle together. They see his fighting with the Gang, they see the pained expression of his face as he looks ahead, and they all turn to see what he is looking at to cause such an unmistakably anguished face. They see Lucille and Eliott. Guess we’re going to have some fun rumours after all when each section of the party joins up what they have witnessed with Lucas at the epicentre…

LUCAS HURTING HIMSELF

We all had an inkling that the beginning of Lucas’ hell week would be the hardest version for the viewer to watch. I think overall, our assumption was proved correct and that is all because this is the first version where we have seen Lucas’ face in the peak of his anguish.

In comparison, Skam og and Italia gave their Isak/Martino some privacy with their pain. We only ever see Isak’s back as he falls to his knees and cries so loud you can hear it over the Kanye track. We only ever see the vague outline of Martino’s face in the darkness as he screams and cries into his hands (it was so dark, it was lucky we were even able to see the spit flying from his mouth as he screamed). You basically had to rely on all other senses to figure out the amount of pain that Isak/Martino were going through. I think that method is powerful in itself, don’t get me wrong. But in France, we see Lucas completely exposed to the anguish ripping his soul apart. And it is incredibly confronting.

At first when Lucas left the party and the camera was following him down the dark, empty path, it felt like og: Lucas had privacy with his rage and pain. But then everything got loud; all the senses were like doubled. The sound of him smashing his fist against the bars of the fence was so loud and violent. We had that kind of noise in Italia too but that was from the piece of wood Martino was wielding, not his actual hand. So not only do you have the deep echo of metal being hit by a fist, you vicariously feel the pain that that must be inflicting on Lucas’ hand.

And then after Lucas realises he has injured himself and his legs lose power and he slumps down to the floor, the street light completely exposes the expression on his face. His anguish is completely exposed -- and it is anguish that is actually distorting his face. He almost isn’t recognisable. I mean, it is hard to watch anyone suffering that level of pain, but it’s even more hard-hitting with Lucas because his expressions are normally so controlled and neutral.

Two things absolutely wreck me next in this scene. The first is the way he cradles his bleeding hand. When you’ve hurt yourself, of course your natural instinct is to hold the damaged area as if you can somehow contain the pain to that one spot. But since his hurt hand feels more like a physical representation of his emotional hurt, it feels like he is trying to cradle himself. I HATE IT, MAKE IT STOP, GUYS!

The second thing that wrecks me is how after he slumps to the ground and leans his head back -- which also crashes against the metal bars with a deep booming echo -- he mouths something as if to say ‘ow’, like he is just hurting all over, no matter what he does.

And through all of it, he is crying without any sound because the emotion is coming from such a deep place in him. Until you see the numbness take over…

I’ll say it again: it is highly confronting. I can’t even bring myself to take screencaps of it.

I mean, that’s probably why og and Italia took a step back -- because that level of pain is so private and awful, it’s almost wrong for us to witness it. But, well, France plays dirty.

LUCAS HAS NO BEDROOM

Did I just say France plays dirty? Because they are about to double that claim by reminding us all of their trump card: that Lucas has no place to cry privately. His bed is literally in a communal living area while Manon goes through her own grieving in his bedroom.

When a person is as wounded by life as Lucas is right now, it is so essential to have a safe space all to yourself to be able to grieve in. Particularly for someone as reserved as Lucas, who won’t let anyone see any hint of his pain at all (except for this Friday night when his depression was so extreme, he had no energy to move in front of his friends and he couldn’t hide it anymore). How the hell is this poor kid supposed to grieve in a communal living room?!

And that also raises another question: how long did Lucas stay slumped on the cold concrete path on Friday night? If that was the best privacy he had, it was probably a long time. So yeh, thanks for that, France! Like this whole clip didn’t hurt enough…

A TINY BIT OF HOPE TO END ON…

What is unfortunately so hard with Lucas is how reserved he is with his emotions. He is such an island and that makes it hard for others to be able to help him. When Mika reached out to him on Thursday, he got a defensive eye roll. When Yann tried to reach out to him on Friday, he got grumpiness and a hurtful ‘It has nothing to do with you.’ It’s really hard to see Lucas push people away like that and just suffer so many things alone.

This week is going to be such an important turning point for him though. He will finally make that step to trust in others and share the pain that has been slowly drowning him. He has no other choice because he cannot mentally survive like that any longer. And when Lucas starts to open himself up more to his friends and roomates and starts to value that process, it is going to put him in such a healthy place to be able to be that support for Eliott when Eliott’s secrets are exposed and he becomes highly vulnerable.

Lucas’ journey is really tough right now but he is going reconnect with people and with life and be the best person he can be once he starts to accept help. It’s going to be such a rewarding journey to go through with him. <3

[chimcharstar]

Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!

LETS DO THIS

99 gay-ish asks

how tall are you?5 SOMETHING

what is your body type?SLENDERMAN

what is your favorite part about your body?THE T

is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES

are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY

are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH

are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE

wine mom or vodka aunt?NO

weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR

favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL

do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR

ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON

are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES

have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO

do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM

last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND

behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD

favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION

reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS

who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS

what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT

have you ever taken narcotics?NO

have you had sex?NO

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS

describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME

describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT

give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD

how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH

what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL

something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM

last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD

what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT

do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU

the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO

are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.

are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH

do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO

first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS

how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.

been rejected by a crush?YES

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO

is trust a big issue for you?YES

did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO

is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION

do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS

worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM

three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH

who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME

favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING

intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND

what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES

are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT

who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL

do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY

is your crush wlw?IDK

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY

write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU

do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.

are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO

are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.

what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE

tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD

hugs or kisses?HUGS

twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH

hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR

making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST

how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE

what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE

ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY

[actualbird]

i promised last week that i would do a candy review of every candy i had consumed over the final finals week and here it is, in order of consumption over the terrible, no good, very bad week

1) weird chocolate candy cigarettes my dad bought me when we were in osaka last may - 3/10

this candy is a chocolate stick facsimile of a cigarette. it tastes like chocolate flavored chalk. i am allowed to say this because i have eaten chalk before. one point was added because it is enjoyable but only after the candy is gone, and i feel like anything that needs to not be there anymore to be enjoyed is something that doesnt deserve a high score. the other two points were added for the gifting value. im not ungrateful, i just have high standards

2) chupa chups sour bites fruity flavor - 8.5/10 

this candy is like a few sourtapes stacked on each other for width but cut into smaller sizes. i very much enjoyed this one. the gummy looks like a rainbow and that definitely adds points. this candy is gay. it tastes like a tame sour patch kid and is rather addicting. i deducted points because the name implies there to be an aspect of sourness to it, which the candy lacked. i would say it was more of a fun little tang. also, the pack totally couldve fit more pieces of candy, but instead was filled with air. i finished this candy much earlier than expected and that made me sad.

3) weird candy from the clipper in uptc - 5/10

see, this candy isnt exactly like, enjoyable. but it isn’t not enjoyable. they were advertised in the pack they were in (a pack i had to dispose of because it wasnt resealable and i might be a goblin, but i wasnt going to eat like, several handfuls of candy in one go. thats…..well it’s not ridiculous, ive done that before, a lot of times, but the whole point of eating this much candy in this time period was to make it last so that i had some incentive not to die in the middle of the week. i had to transfer the candy into a small ziplock bag which made the candy look like, really fucking shady, and thats why the picture has a bunch of them on a piece of tissue) as “apple mint hard candies” and a lot of the points were deducted because i did not taste an ounce of apple. they were just mints. not bad mints, but not good either. this was mint purgatory. i often munched them while writing to keep myself awake, and it gets points for keeping my eyes open, i guess. the thought of falling asleep while i had those mint voids in my mouth seemed horrific. 

4) gummy angry dudes (???) that my mom got from bangkok - 6/10

in the taste department, these gummies were standard. tasted like a regular gummy worm. most of the points are awarded simply because i cannot for the life of me figure what the hell this gummy is supposed to be. it has horns, a very angry face, and pretty swole thighs. it’s a very powerful looking gummy and this had to be taken into account. however, my mom ate a lot of these while in bangkok and blames them for giving her the flu for 4 days. points docked for (allegedly) giving my mom a hard time. gummies should not give my mom a hard time. thats what my existence is for. just kidding.

5) fruit-tella - 8/10

a classic. never fails. i got this to munch on during an utterly terrible finals session where my philosophy class had to watch all of the final movie projects we made, and these candies prevented me from disconnecting from this plane of existence because i hated everything, prevented me from astral projecting into a universe where i was happy or at least wanted to be. tangy but not overwhelming. chewy but not overly so. when i was in 4th grade, this candy helped me dislodge a loose tooth, so i didnt have to go to the dentist to get it removed. fruit-tella has never failed me. 2 points docked because fruit-tella does have a tell tale smell that lets everybody within a 50 mile radius Know you have fruit-tella, thus prompting them to ask “hey, can i have some fruit-tella?” i dislike this interaction very much, but i assume in the universe where im happy, this interaction is fine because that alternate!me is probably more well adjusted and cooler and better. anyway.

6) cola sour tape - 9/10

cola sour tape is one of the sexiest candies out there. i love sour tape. i love soda. this candy brings me both in one flat bitch perfect for me to just slowly eat like a noodle while tears stream down my face and i wonder why i chose this course, why am i majoring in writing, what if im not good at the only thing i thought i could do right. cola sour tape brings me the perfect amount of tang and perfect amount of sweetness and it genuinely reminds me that no matter how bad things get, there will be a moment where i will be eating cola sour tape, and things will be marginally less shitty. cola sour tape kept me company as i submitted my final requirement of this sem, the world’s shittiest final fiction manuscript, and cola sour tape’s wonderful mix of fun flavors kept me awake enough to face the fact that nearly two decades into my life, im still not sure about anything, really. one point docked for the fact that all sour tape has the monumental flaw of the sour sugar just getting fucking everywhere. please dont show me evidence of my actions. please. please. 

overall, this past week has been a sugar fueled frenzy of existential dread and stress. i never want to do it again, but i would gladly eat all the candies rated 6 and above like 800 more times. thanks for reading!!!

[gayingnotpraying]

for what it's worth, my worldview comes from a southeast asian perspective of being raised in what is a half fundamentalist and half traditionalist orientation of Islam in southeast asia that is becoming increasingly fundamentalist. so stop assuming that everyone who disagrees with you comes from some atheist ex christian perspective. stop strawmanning people as an out-group simply because you dont agree with their takes. im not, and my country isnt primarily christian or muslim. id go out on a limb to say ive interacted directly with hinduism, christianity, islam and taoism more than youve even read about them! essentially though, you ARE right. your individual opinion and experiences with religion doesnt give you authority over the rest of the world, which includes this idea that religions simply arent cults because you choose to only see the simplified and good preached messages as opposed to the lived applications of religious teachings. youre just not going to be 100% in the right in issues that simply arent so cut and dry as much as you like to think so. because if you say "dont say religions are cults" i will say "what makes them distinguishable from the other" and for as long as i can find a religion that acts in the way you define cults to be, then any religion could be a cult.

just bc you interpret cult one way and so do others, doesnt mean that it is the only definition nor does it mean that youre in the right for it. it especially does not mean your context was clear with such flimsy terms like cult. tell me what a cult is! you say i know damn well what it is then define it, since it's so cut and dry! if you define cult by its practices, then the religions youve listed are cults in certain locations/cultures. if you define it by what a lot of researchers in the area do, then it is functionally indistinguishable from religions (charismatic leader, shared ideological beliefs, high involvement expected). if you define it by bringing harm to individuals, then a lot of religions do that too. so you, refusing to even acknowledge that there is a potential counter argument to your emotionally charged argument that "how dare you lump xyz religion with catholicism and mormonism" is just not good enough! define a cult and i will show you an area where a recognized religion fits the description. show me where the distinction lies clearly and i can show you examples where it doesnt.

your refusal to have any kind of good faith argument given the fact that what constitutes a cult differs (not a merriam webster definition you presumptuous weirdo, these are takes by sociologists who do study world religions, and probably have more knowledge regarding religions across the world, indigenous, world religions and more, than either of us) among individuals/perspectives, and then not defining what a cult is while stating that it's So Obvious makes your post unclear and easy to find faults in. you also make a lot of sweeping statements about other religions while coming across as someone who knows little about them (saying not every religion has a concept of hell and then listing islam as a followup example is laughable! and the merciful god in islam is only merciful to followers. any non muslim will burn in hell, as good of a person as they may be).

so tell me how im the one interacting in bad faith when you cant interact at all without sounding like you know nothing and are just too hurt by ex christians to hear an alternative belief by someone who isnt ex christian.

and again, i never said modern day religions like the ones you listed ARE cults. i just said they damn well seemed like one at time of conception and damn well could be one. youre so aggressive and using religions you seem to know so little about and for what? you list all these positive traits about these religions that idk youve even seen in person or spoke to an actual follower of face to face, or been to the places of worship. and then to be laughably inaccurate about one of the biggest world religions? and you still think youre like the smartest person in the room while refusing to even define your context? tell me you cant write a good essay without telling me you cant write a good essay because you dont even know how to define a key term in the very basis of your whole argument.

Dumbasses who have never talked to a non-christian in their life will say that religions are cults because they preach salvation and give you rules to keep you in line like y’all do realize that hell isn’t a universal belief???? That Judaism teaches that god wants his people to be just and compassionate??? That Buddhism is about liberation from suffering??? That Hinduism teaches reincarnation? That Islam believes in a just and merciful god? That there are an endless number of diverse and nuanced beliefs that various indigenous peoples struggle to reclaim every day? And you all have the nerve to lump us all in together with the likes of catholicism and jehovah’s witnesses just because you’re too fucking smug and lazy to get off your ass leave your own bubble and read a god damn wikipedia article?

[dokyeum-arc]

soft bias tag

i was tagged by @junhuisgf and since its 4 am and im ASSUMING everyones asleep my dumbass is allowed to be shoft

who is ur bias?

the man the myth the legend, lee jihoon 

what made you notice them?

i think i really began noticing him when i watched ofd????? i went into that only really knowing vernon and going IN for vernon and left inlove with a purple haired idiot unu 

what’s your favorite thing about them?

his voice and how you can tell how passionate he is when he closes his eyes to sing and his top lip curls and his nose scrunches and hes just giving his fucking all and i love him and i love how he loves doing what hes doing. i hope he enjoys this forever.

who would initiate skinship more?

me. that little guy wouldnt initiate anything. i think eventually if i initiated it enough he would get more comfortable pulling moves but lets be realistic

who would hog blankets more?

both of us. its gotten SO bad we had to get separate comforters and i STILL wake up without blankets. can ub leieve him 

who would be more clingy?

me :/// i could disappear for a couple days and only on the fourth day would i get the ‘where u @’ text. (not really i feel like he’d be such a concerned boyfriend and he might be a little clingy but i dont think he’d be very forward about it, he’d be very nonchalant especially in his words, i feel like his clinginess would shine more with his actions)

who would be more easily flustered?

him. i do anything remotely romantic in front of anyone? he plans his death date from embarrassment.

what cuddling position would you two have?

i mean IDEALLY i would be the big spoon but it would never happen without a fight b4 bed and him acting grumpy abt it but we all know ur small n like being held just shut up n cuddle me silently for once 

what colors remind you of them and why?

brown, like a cows eye brown IKJWDHF because he has soft doughy eyes hsut up  iHKDG 

which season would you like to spend with them?

winter. i think it would be ideal for the both of us since neither of us like going out in the first place and uh it being cold outside?? is the perfect excuse not to leave the house at all. and id just like to see him bundled up.. maybe a cute little oversized sweater.... some fuzzy socks....... his nose pink from the cold.......................... ok over the top 

who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

ID BE BAKING THE COOKIES AND ID TURN MY BACK FOR ONE MINUTE AND WHEN I TURN BACK THERES A HUGE FINGER SWIPE THROUGH THE ENTIRE BATTER. FUCKING JIHOON.

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i make the puns and he looks really unimpressed but the type where the face looks unimpressed but his dough eyes say he adores me . lmao fuck.?

who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

both of us. but i think we’re too lazy and irresponsible for 50 so we settle on a beagle named ralph.

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen to try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

woozi would burn the poptarts and then come 2 me and id have to cook him something. useless isnt he ralph.

who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

id be the one leaning over the railing and jihoon would jokingly push me from behind to give me a heart attack DJHKG

what would watching a horror film with them be like?

i think we’d both act unbothered but if anything scary happened we’d both have our hands over our eyes looking thru our fingers still scoffing at the end of the movie like ‘lmao???? that wasnt even fcukin scary???? u were scareD???? loser????’ 

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

neither of us would be very good at flirting. so we’d both be cheesy and ugli when it comes to flirting

who is more competitive?

both????? i feel like ji is super competitive and so am i, we’d be such sore losers too. love us.

who would have to be given reminders (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc.)?

jihoon. he’s definitely a workaholic. like stupidly obsessed with his work (which is fine its his passion and i love him and i hope every time hes invested in something that it takes hours without break that he feels really great and satisified with the end result i love him) but honstly. stupidly. id blow up his phone id be so annoying he’d mute me.

who sends memes and who sends cute things or “i miss you” texts at 3am?

i think we’d alternate but id definitely be the type to send cute things late at night bc i miss his stupid ass wtf :/

idk who to tag for this its so cheesy i just wanted 2 talk abt the power couple kihoon..koozi.... wris.

[timetechturntables-blog]

✆ ø % ツ ♀ hit me!!!

Send “✆” for a MORNING text  

[to: biffl] yo, i hope youre in the mood for some strider strudel surprise because we eatin like kings this mornin[to: biffl] now i know its kinda 4am but its still breakfast if its past midnight[to: biffl]anyways im coming to wake you up now with a party popper[to: biffl]im hoping for my sake youve already read these messages[to: biffl] and youre showing off your bright eye and bushy tail ready to eat some delicious strudel

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text

[to: yum yums] hey did you see that video i sent you?[to: yum yums]you know the shrek but every time he takes a step it gets 5% [to: yum yums]faster?[to: yum yums] i know you dont like stupid shit but just look at it[to: yum yums] the whole fucking video isnt even ten minutes isnt that wild?[to: yum yums]if i come over there[to: yum yums]really just pushed myself next to you on the couch with you[to: yum yums]will you watch it with me?[to: yum yums]you know what[to: yum yums] ill just assume tentative yes for now[to: yum yums]ill be right over[to: yum yums]and were gonna watch shrek saunter his robust green bod across duloc at 205% its normal speed[to: yum yums]itll be over with in like probably nine minutes and thirty three seconds[to: yum yums]here we go[to: yum yums]bois watching fast shrek take one

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text

[to: karkle] so[to: karkle] idk if this something youre like[to: karkle] super keen to take about but i was just kind of wonderingabout your old home on alternia[to: karkle] what was it like where you lived?[to: karkle] would you ever go back or like go to an alternate version of it?[to: karkle] i guess i thought about it and i realized i really dont know much about what went down with you before i met you[to: karkle] and i just... yknow wanna fill that space[to: karkle] full homo by the way[to: karkle] but anyways if you wanna jam about it[to: karkle] you know exactly where to find me

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text

[to: snookums] ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiitttt[to: snookums] karkat[to: snookums] karkat dont put your apron on tonight[to: snookums] get what this sly guy is sliding onto our semi polished table tonight[to: snookums] thats right i found a fucking coupon to pizza huttttt[to: snookums] and it expires two days from now[to: snookums] so its happening[to: snookums] mother. fucking. stuffed crust.[to: snookums] and i know youll be excited about that easy clean up part too[to: snookums] my treat because i love you so much[to: snookums] pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzza[to: snookums] fuck yeah

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text

[to: karkat] i feel like ive messed up a lot[to: karkat] and youre trying to do that thing where youre being quiet about it but youre secretly being good to me by not bringing it up[to: karkat] ive never felt like such a bum to lose both my job, home and myself[to: karkat] not once, but factually twice[to: karkat] and you still[to: karkat] took me back in a fucking second time[to: karkat] dont even bat an eyelash doing it[to: karkat] and i dont... want you to keep wasting your time with taking care of me because im too much of a loser to actually keep my life together[to: karkat] i care about you a lot dude[to: karkat] and i just feel so bad [to: karkat] you deserve better than me mooching off your good nature to your friends[to: karkat] youre always there for me and like[to: karkat] what can i even do to ever give that back to you?

[edwad]

If you had to choose 10 marxian econ books for someone who has only read marx, what would you recommend

by “marx” i have to assume you mean capital because that really is the root of “marxian econ”. it won’t suffice to just have read the manifesto or something like that and i don’t want to recommend books that will be saying things that you’re totally unfamiliar with because you’re skipping straight into the secondary literature which already largely assumes a reader which is familiar with capital. anyway, heres a list, which isnt in any particular order and which includes a few things that i’m still working through for myself:

1. essays on marxs theory of value - isaak rubin 

hugely important book which essentially all value-form theory derives from. written by an extremely knowledgeable marx scholar who had a much better idea of what marx was doing in capital than most marxists today. last month brill published a book called “responses to marxs capital” which includes some of rubin’s other writings, most of them being published in english for the first time. hes a huge figure in the literature and definitely worth looking in to. 

2. marx, capital, and the madness of economic reason - david harvey

i was obviously going to put something of harvey’s in here and i think his last book is a fairly good summary of the best of what hes done up to this point with some welcome additions (the visualization of capital, the stuff on anti-value, etc). not perfect but he definitely provides a good framework for how to understand the geography of capital which doesnt require necessarily agreeing with him on everything. honestly, if you keep up with harvey at all you’ll be able to tell that its mostly just typical harveyisms with the inclusion of some stuff from his recent talks (which have all been almost exactly the same). 

3. in the long run we are all dead - geoff mann

maybe this looks more like a book on keynesian rather than marxian econ, but its real argument is that keynesianism as a long historical project (meaning long before and after keynes himself) has been an immanent critique of liberalism and revolution and that keynes is to us what hegel was to marx. a really great book that covers a lot of ground which isnt always explicitly economic, but definitely worth the read if you have the patience. if you want a longer review, i left a pretty lengthy one on amazon a few months ago where you can get a better idea of what i got from this book, what its limitations are, and why i think its so important. 

4. monopoly capital - paul baran & paul sweezy 

an older book which hasnt exactly aged well, but its thesis has become extremely popular again since the crisis. written by baran and sweezy, the fathers of “the monthly review school” of economics, its played a huge role in the direction of marxian debates from the 1960s up until today. the authors were both tending in the same intellectual direction in their earlier works (sweezy’s theory of capitalist development and baran’s political economy of growth, the former still being considered one of the best introductions to marxs work and its relevance to the 20th century, with much controversy of course) and this was the result of them coming together to talk about what they saw as a monopoly capitalism which was fairly different in character than the “competitive capitalism” of marx’s day and therefore had to be dealt with differently. 

5. capitalism - anwar shaikh

probably the most ambitious work the left has seen in a long time which tries to thoroughly critique neoclassical theory and develop an alternative economics which is rooted in what shaikh calls the “classical” school (”classical-marxian” would probably be more appropriate but i think hes trying to downplay his reliance on marx). in it, shaikh takes a good look at many of the competing schools of thought (neoclassical, post-keynesian, sraffian/neo-ricardian, etc) and sees how they stand up analytically and empirically, taking issue with their underlying assumptions and the inevitable problems which arise from building a theory on false foundations. 

one of his bigger points is that the neoclassical theory of “perfect competition” is nonsensical but wasnt thoroughly combatted by heterodox economists, who only made it so far as asserting the “imperfect” nature of competition, which, in shaikh’s eyes, is to simply add imperfections after the fact into the theory which necessarily begins with the absurd assumption of perfection. the book’s argument is that the theorists of “imperfect competition” still rely on the theory of “perfect competition” as their starting point and never really manage to escape the latter because they havent actually created an alternative way of thinking about competition, they’ve just inserted a complication into a theory which was a completely unrealistic assumption to begin with. much of his attack is directed at the monthly review school and the idea of a “monopoly capitalism” which is supposedly different in form than the allegedly “perfect competition” of capitalism during marxs life. in this sense, this book serves as a counterbalance to the MR approach and is also probably the most successful attempt at situating marxs TRPF within an empirical study of kondratiev waves. 

hes also got a website with a bunch of resources and a lecture series from a course he did on the material in the book which is pretty interesting, but it assumes a good deal of familiarity with economics. 

6. a history of marxian economics - michael howard & john king (2 volumes)

this is a pretty thorough history of the internal debates among marxian economists ever since the death of marx all the way up to 1990. it covers a lot of ground and doesnt shy away from controversies where marx didnt come out on top. of course, a good amount of this is subject to the interpretation of the authors and they definitely have a great deal of input, but its a very impressive work which i frequently use as a marxian encyclopedia of sorts. 

7. the making of marx’s capital - roman rosdolsky

despite some problems, rosdolsky’s classic book on the development of marx’s critique of political economy is easily one of the most important marxological works ever written and it still holds a lot of sway. taking the grundrisse as its starting point, the author unpacks marx’s project and constantly asserts marx’s method and in particular his explicit reliance on hegel’s logic, pitting marx (as he was in his drafts) against the then contemporary thinkers and critics which were prone to misusing or misunderstanding the arguments in capital. as a disclaimer and partial criticism of rosdolsky’s portrait of marx, i dont believe that we can simply say that marx in the late 50s was identical to the marx of the 60s and 70s that wrote and published capital, but i also dont think that means we necessarily have to discount the grundrisse (or theories of surplus value, etc) simply because they werent written at precisely the right time for marxs thinking. 

i only just got my own copy a couple of weeks ago so i cant say too much more but i have skimmed through chunks of the pdf and its totally unavoidable in the secondary literature so im not totally unfamiliar. its one i plan on tackling in full very soon.

8. moneybags must be so lucky - robert paul wolff

another marxological one, this tiny book is a literary analysis of capital and in particular the first part of volume 1. wolff does a great job of deconstructing the arguments in chapter 1 to try and clarify what marx is doing and why with a lot of humor and philosophical tangents. one of his biggest points is that marxs heavy reliance on irony was the only adequate way of capturing the contradictory nature of capitalism and is therefore part of the theory itself, rather than simply being a way to dress up the theory and make it more palatable to readers. i approached this book after id already “read marx” too, but it was extremely useful because it wasnt until i read it that i finally started to actually understand marx. for that reason, i dont feel particularly bad about recommending it to anyone thats already familiar with capital because it does a great job of making the most difficult part of volume 1 infinitely more exciting and comprehensible – especially since its never enough to just read capital once. 

9. the production of commodities by means of commodities - piero sraffa

against my better judgement, i’m putting this on the list knowing full-well that i’m going to be harassed by an anon which has been on my ass for about a year now ever since i first recommended sraffa’s book in a reading list despite the fact that ive never finished it (barely even read it to be more precise). i do, however, know that its had a huge influence on the trajectory of marxian thought since 1960 and that many of the thinkers are still trying to recover from the theoretical displacement implicit in sraffa’s thesis. 

its a math-heavy book (which is why i havent been able to wade through it) and its status as a work coming from the “marxian” approach is hotly contested, but its certainly had its way with the marxian school (not to mention the neoclassical school, which has an easier time simply ignoring sraffa entirely), generating countless debates among scholars, many of whom simply wish that this book had never been written. for a short summary of the debate and whats apparently at stake, ive got an old post where i worked out some of the initial responses to sraffa and how this has snowballed into the controversy that it is today. ive got it on this list because of how unavoidable it is. you cant go into the secondary literature at anything resembling an intermediate level without knowing sraffa’s name and why everyone feels so strongly about him.

10. an introduction to the three volumes of karl marxs capital - michael heinrich

i dont quite like that im ending this list with a book that presents itself as an “introduction” when we’ve already established that this is a bunch of recommendations for someone thats already acquainted with capital, but sadly this is the only full-length book that heinrich has in the english language and its reading of capital is so unorthodox that it feels totally alien against all the traditional interpretations of marx. honestly, it doesnt feel like an introduction in the first place, reading more like a challenge and an intervention into the secondary debates about what marx is saying in capital which derives from the german debates which constitute the parameters for the “neue marx-lekture”, or “the new reading of marx”, which sits uncomfortably among the more typical marxisms that surround it on all sides, especially among non-german theorists/readers. 

as far as the dominant reading of marx goes, nearly everything this book says betrays marx’s project, but heinrich knows marx very well, better than most of us (as even his biggest critics readily admit). this may be considered reflective of a “new reading”, but that doesnt mean the old ones are any better or that this one is necessarily a “revisionist” project as many claim (or at least, i wouldnt consider it to be revising marx even if its guilty of revising “marxism”, which is by no means necessarily a bad thing). on the contrary, i think heinrich has the best understanding of marx out of pretty much everyone else right now and thats why i wanted to end with this one. yes, you should read all of the others, especially since you cant understand the way we read and think about marx without coming across the work of people like sraffa and sweezy, but that doesnt really change the fact that heinrich points to a big problem with the way we read and think about marx, that the debates have been getting it wrong all along and largely misunderstanding marxs actual project, miscontextualizing it and falling into dogmatism for various political or academic reasons. 

what heinrich does is to show how the way marx is read and interpreted often misses or downplays the most crucial elements of what marx is actually trying to get across. marxs critique of political economy simply gets converted into a newer, more correct political economy which simply builds on the classical school (shaikh), or it suffers in the hands of those that believe its foundations need to be updated as if it isnt all that relevant anymore (sweezy and baran), or that many of its categories are lacking utility and can simply be done away with (sraffa). rubin’s work plays a big part in establishing the NML reading and harvey draws on heinrich’s scholarship a lot, but nobody really does it as well as heinrich himself and i genuinely think hes lightyears ahead of everyone else. a lot of people are starting to agree and i was one of the most recent converts on the heinrich hype train which has been growing for the last couple of years. 

any day now, we should be getting one of his older books, the science of value, in english and i plan on devouring it as fast as i can, but sadly its been in limbo for several years, with its initial release scheduled for 2014 (if i remember correctly). in the mean time though, we’ve only got his introduction to capital and a bunch of shorter pieces/videos.  

so i guess thats my list of 10 things to read after marx with some explanations on why i think theyre important, culminating in ideologically correct heinrich-worship. this was sorta fun and if you have any other questions feel free to ask.