#or allergic to eggs? huh.

[thornsent]

we are FINALLY getting the uh..... stomach issues that nearly killed me tested and

I really am a ghoul, huh. Also, I'm planning to call them soon to tell them I cannot eat jelly and they should consider irradiating butter for me instead.

[mangostarjam]

knot happening (part two) — bnha, alpha!bakugou katsuki x f!reader, aged up characters, established relationship, a/b/o dynamics, use of "baby", "pipsqueak", "brat", "little shit" as pet names, dubious HR ethics, questionable sex toys, reader wears a skirt at the end, smut, creampies, oral sex, knotting, omegaverse!au for the spring fever collab run by @lorelune ! 10k words lmao

part one

your new company has some interesting policies for employee heat cycles, but your boyfriend and mate has no intention of letting you off easy

It starts with cravings.

All of Bakugou Katsuki's well intentioned efforts to keep you from dying of malnutrition or scurvy fly out the window as you enter your pre-heat. Your Pro Hero boyfriend and mate turns his nose up at the strawberry pocky you crunch on the couch, rolls his eyes at the cherry and dark chocolate chip ice cream you scoop after dinner, and pouts at the mango and sticky rice cups you devour after work.

"It all has fruit in it," you point out. "And besides, you always steal half my daifuku mochi before I can finish it. Complain about that, you thief!"

Katsuki, to his credit, retaliates by making your favorite veggie-laden meals for the cute bentos he puts together for your lunches. You pop open the container and you're greeted by stupidly cute penguins crafted from seaweed and rice, mushrooms and bell peppers nestled next to perfect rolled egg omelettes, carrots cut into little stars and cucumbers that look like clouds.

You take a photo of your lunch and send it to your boyfriend. He texts back "?????" and you frown at your phone.

Katsuki calls a moment later. "Don't tell me you're suddenly allergic to cucumbers."

His voice is rough and low — he must be in the office, if the distant chatter of his fellow heroes is anything to go by — but he's probably turned off into a side hallway because Eijiro's teasing has lately turned into casual remarks about marriage, and… yeah, of course Katsuki's gonna marry you, but he doesn't need his best friend to bring it up every time he's on the phone with you.

"I might be allergic to how cute these are," you say, but there's laughter in your voice and he scrunches his nose, so pleased he can feel the tips of his ears heat up. "How am I supposed to eat this?! This poor rice penguin has never done anything wrong in its life!"

Katsuki snorts quietly into his gloved hand. "D'you want me to make your food look ugly next time?"

You beam down at your bento and kick your feet beneath your desk. "Thanks for making me lunch, loverboy."

"Can't have you dyin' while I'm fuckin' you dumb," Katsuki's already low voice gets lower. The rough timbre of it so intimately in your ear sends a thread of desire straight to your core and you shift uncomfortably, glancing around your office. Luckily, it's empty — everyone's out for lunch because it's such a beautiful spring day, but you forgot to take your allergy medicine and you don't want to tempt disaster. "Leaving you in bed this morning was a crime."

"H-huh?" you set your feet on the ground and sit up a little straighter. "Babe, shut up. What if someone overhears you!"

"Then they'd be too damn close to you and I'll need to punch their lights out," Katsuki states matter of factly.

"So protective," you tease, settling back into your seat. He's trying to rile you up — he knows what his low tone does to you — but you're going to make it through your pre-heat without alerting your company even if it kills you. "I'll see you later, 'kay? Kick some ass, baby."

Your boyfriend mumbles something that sounds suspiciously cheesy before he hangs up, and you eat your lunch with gusto. It's day two of your pre-heat and so far it seems like nobody can tell. Your cravings are easy to pass off as a strong sweet tooth, and Katsuki's patrol schedule has kept him away from picking you up after work. You slapped a pheromone suppressor on your neck this morning and then styled up your business casual outfit with a loose silk scarf, so it should be… fine.

Your phone vibrates with a text and you swipe it open without thinking. The sound that leaves your mouth at the sight that greets you is unholy and you slam your phone facedown on your desk.

What the fuck.

"…You alright there, newbie?" Akane from Sales pauses in the act of draping her jacket over her chair. "Did you get a spam call?"

"Just peachy!" you croak out. You clear your throat as more of your coworkers file back in from their lunch break. "I thought I saw a bug, that's all!"

More like a closeup photo of your boyfriend's bulge in his hero suit, clearly stiff and straining hard against the heat resistant fabric, his easily recognizable gloved hand dangerously close to palming the thick outline —

Akane makes a funny face. "And you smashed it with your phone?"

"It was just instinct," you say sheepishly, "I'm fine with bugs where they belong, and they don't belong on my desk!"

Akane and your other coworkers nod at this and the conversation shifts, so you take advantage of everyone's inattention to pick your phone back up. You do it gingerly, as if there really is a bug squished underneath, but really you're just trying not to accidentally flash Pro Hero Dynamight's crotch shot to the world.

You can see the headlines now:

"Pro Hero Dynamight Ready to Blow!"

"Dynamight Explodes Up to the Top Ten Sexiest Pro Heroes with Infamous Shot!"

"Is the Great Explosion Murder God Packing the Heat?"

Katsuki's PR team would kill you. You quickly slide your phone beneath your desk and swipe away from your texts, breathing a sigh of relief when the (annoyingly tasteful) shot disappears from your screen.

Your phone vibrates with texts the rest of the day. No more photos (you can't tell if you should be grateful or mournful about this) but judging from the text previews you hastily swipe away on your screen, Katsuki's clearly out to get you. He seemed normal this morning — his lips brushed your cheek gently as you drew the blankets up to your chin — so what is his problem?

You finally get a chance to read his texts while waiting for your train at the station. Your eyes widen as you scroll through the messages — they're filled with his typical profanity, but he's practically written an instruction manual on all the ways he's imagined fucking you today. Your hand rises unwittingly to your pheromone suppressor patch. Maybe you should wear it at night, too, so he won't get so worked up? Though you kind of doubt it's working at all, since reading his texts is making you shift where you stand, heat pooling in your core.

The station is crowded with evening commuters — packs of students giggling and chattering among themselves, other tired office workers tapping away at their phones, little kids holding hands so they won't get separated — and nobody is paying you any mind. Maybe your suppressors are working after all? Wait — are they supposed to keep your pre-heat pheromones from leaking out or in?

Your ears perk as the pleasant tone signaling the arrival of your train jingles through the crowd. It's a quick ride three stops down to your apartment, which is one stop away from Katsuki's agency Ground Zero. When the two of you were looking for a place together, Katsuki insisted that it be just outside of his patrol range — close enough for him to get there quickly, but far enough that he would be able to actually relax at home. You can hear the familiar sound of a knife meeting a cutting board while you toe off your shoes in the genkan, lifting your nose to the air as the comforting smell of rice cooking wafts towards you.

"I'm home!" you call out, bypassing the kitchen to strip out of your work clothes. You sigh with relief as you toss your pants into the laundry basket, dragging one of Katsuki's well-worn hoodies over your head and tugging a pair of his workout shorts up your hips. They smell like him — smoky and rich and a little bit sweet — and you burrow into the comfort with a hum of pleasure.

The sizzle and crack of veggies and rice hitting the pan fill the air as you make your way into the kitchen. You follow your nose and ears happily, mouth already watering at the thought of eating more of Katsuki's cooking, but you stop dead at the entrance and make a funny strangled sound.

Asshole. Is he doing this on purpose? He's totally doing this on purpose.

"Welcome home," Katsuki says, rising from a crouch to his full, intimidating height and giving the pan another flick of his wrist. Sometimes you forget how broad your Pro Hero boyfriend is, but it's abundantly clear when he's standing in front of the stove shirtless like some kind of wet dream. He barely gives you a once over, just a casual glance of red that sends heat rushing to your cheeks before he turns his attention back to the stove.

You know — and you know he knows — that certain instincts flare up with your pre-heat. Everyone has different symptoms. The food cravings are one thing, for you, but they're manageable and easy to pass off as unrelated. Wanting to be covered in your mate's scent is another thing entirely, and while it's a relatively common symptom, it never fails to embarrass you, especially because you know how much Katsuki secretly likes it.

"What're you making?" you ask. Katsuki keeps his eyes on his pan, so you take the opportunity to ogle him freely, admiring the strong set of his shoulders and the firm lines of back muscle on full display. Stupid Katsuki with his stupid workouts making him look like a goddamn god. From your position at the kitchen entrance, you're close enough to see the pale scars crisscrossing his skin and the way the edge of his lips lift in a smug, self-satisfied smirk as he catches you checking him out. He's easily the hottest man you've ever seen in your life.

"Chicken fried rice," he says, snapping you out of your blatant stare. "It's almost done."

"You're telling me a chicken fried this rice?" you joke, grinning widely when Katsuki snorts and rolls his eyes at you. "Here, lemme set the table."

The two of you prepare for dinner companionably, though Katsuki definitely hovers more than usual. You can't help but lean back into his firm (and very naked) chest as he stands behind you while you reach up for plates, his hands heavy on your hips to help you balance. He also sets your plate piled high with fried rice next to his own at the table instead of across as usual, and when you make a questioning sound he just arches a brow expectantly.

"What? Sit and eat your fucking vegetables, pipsqueak."

"That's not my question," you giggle, accepting the seat he holds out for you. He spins it sideways easily, so that you're suddenly facing his own chair instead of the table, a casual show of strength that sends a shiver up your spine. Then he sits next to you with a grunt and immediately grabs your bare legs to drape them over his lap, forcing you to cling to his arm in surprise. "What the hell!"

"Shaddup," Katsuki mumbles, keeping a firm grip on your bare legs. "You can eat like this, right?"

You can, though you have to wiggle a bit and hold your plate in your lap. The changed angle gives you a perfect view of your boyfriend's profile, and you look at him for a moment, admiring the cut of his jawline and the slope of his nose.

"Quit starin'," he says. The pale scar along his cheek lifts when he shoots you a smug grin. "Your food's gonna get cold."

"You're the one who made me sit like this," you point out. You scratch at the side of your neck absently, but your nail catches on the suppressant patch and you pause. "Do you know if these patches are to keep the pheromones in or out?"

Katsuki takes a big bite of his fried rice and chews carefully. "Nothing's gonna stop your pre-heat from affectin' you," he says evenly. "And normally it'd keep 'em from leakin' out, but," he takes a deep breath and finally meets your eyes, "I'm your mate, so that shit doesn't work on me."

"Oh." Your voice is small even to your own ears. Katsuki's red hot gaze stays fixed on you for another long, torturous moment before he drags his attention to his food. "Is that why… you sent me a dick pic?"

Katsuki chokes on the spoonful of fried rice he just brought to his lips and his hand comes up to slap against the table. You crack a grin and pick up your own spoon. "That wasn't — wasn't a fuckin' dick pic, you perv."

"Sure looked like it to me," you say cheerfully. The fried rice is delicious and you nearly moan with satisfaction, wiggling in your seat as the flavors burst along your tongue. "It was a photo featuring the area of your body where your dick is at, so obviously, it was a dick pic!"

"Fuck off," he mumbles, shoving another spoonful into his mouth. "How was work? Anybody notice?"

"It was great," you say, "and nah, I don't think anyone noticed. I wore a scarf to hide the patch, y'know. Pretty good, huh?"

"You're a smart one," Katsuki says, and you preen under the praise. "You gonna wear a scarf the rest of the week, then?"

You shrug and wiggle your legs a little just to get Katsuki to clamp down on them with one strong arm. You flex your feet, feeling his thighs tense in turn, and eat another spoonful of dinner. "I don't think I can. It's supposed to get real hot this week and besides, I wanna… wear one of your shirts."

"Hah?" Katsuki nearly drops his spoon. "How're you gonna do that? It'll be too big for you, pipsqueak."

"I'll figure it out. I've done it before!" Your grin turns mischievous. "Want me to model for you after dinner?"

Katsuki shoots you a look. "You tryna get into my pants already, sweetheart? What happened to resisting pre-heat?"

"It's not like we'll be doing anything," you point out. "I have faith in you, babe."

Your boyfriend doesn't answer, but his hand tightens around your thigh, leaving indents in the soft give of your body. The two of you switch to safer topics, like the old ladies who ran into Katsuki on patrol (again) because they wanted to pass on their grandkids' sketches, and your new friends Akane and Shimizu who complimented your scarf. You do the dishes afterwards, but Katsuki stays glued to your back, thick arms wrapped firmly around your waist.

"I think you've got too much faith in me," Katsuki frowns, holding one of his button ups against your frame a bit later. You shed his hoodie and your shirt and bra, tossing them in the direction of the laundry basket and holding your arms out for him to dress you in his shirt. He eyes your chest openly, sending a spark of heat zipping down your spine, but slides the sleeves over your arms and helps you button it up without saying anything else.

His hands are careful as he slides the buttons home. You force yourself to breathe evenly as he crowds into your space, that smoky sweet scent filling your nose as he presses his lips to your temple and noses at your ear. His big hands with all their callouses and scars are gentle as he smooths the fabric over your shoulders, leaving a wave of warmth as he slides them around to your back to tug you closer into his embrace.

You hug him back, resting your palms against his shoulder blades and pressing into the skin there as he shifts. It's quiet as he breathes you in, his chest rising and falling against your own. Distantly you can hear trains rattling on the tracks, teenagers being rowdy in front of the nearby konbini, babies wailing for bedtime several doors down. You close your eyes and listen to Katsuki's heartbeat instead, though a furrow forms between your eyebrows as his heartbeat quickens.

"Are you… good?" you whisper.

"…'m fine."

"Okay… are you having a heart attack?"

"Don't be stupid," Katsuki snorts. "As if I'd get worked up over a lil' huggin'."

"Sure, sure," you grin up at him, smiling wider as his eyes soften at your expression. "It's not like I'm your mate or anything. It's fine if you get worked up, babe — I think you're pretty hot, too."

"Aren't you supposed to be figurin' out tomorrow's outfit?"

You detach yourself from him reluctantly, though he doesn't let you get very far, latching onto your wrist and padding along behind you as you go to peruse the closet. Katsuki pulls you into his chest again as you eye the various options. Despite favoring athletic, technical clothes — fabrics that are easy to move in at a moment's notice — he does own a wide range of clothing thanks to his various sponsorships.

"Does it ever bother you, wearing clothes with these brands associated with them?" you ask, rubbing a silky suit jacket sleeve and peering up at him.

"Nah," Katsuki shrugs. "My team's halfway decent 'bout choosin' who we partner with, so it's not a big deal."

"Should I be less sensitive about my company's branded sex toys?" Your voice is small. You turn back to the clothes so you don't have to look at him, but Katsuki presses a kiss to the back of your hair and huffs.

"If it bothers you, it bothers you," he says gruffly. "We're good, baby. You don't hafta tell your company squat. I'm still your mate no matter what."

You repeat Katsuki's words to yourself the next day, swathed in his button up shirt tucked into a pair of his trousers with the ankles rolled up, as Akane and Shimizu show you the storeroom where they keep the company branded sex toys. Everyone's email notifications had pinged this morning with the news that Kensuke in Accounting would be entering his heat soon, so your two new coworker besties had dragged you along on a mission to prepare his celebratory heat cycle package.

"Wow," you say blankly, "they really are branded."

Shimizu holds up a cock ring with your company's name emblazoned along the side. "When you're in the moment, you really don't notice the name, but I guess it is a little garish, huh?"

"It's just so… big," you say, pulling over another box. "Is the company worried we'll forget who we work for or something?"

"I think they just want to be supportive," Akane laughs, holding up a dildo that wobbles wildly in her hand. "We'll need to have our drinking party at the end of the week, I think. Kensuke-san said he'll bring his mate if it's late enough for her to make it. I guess her alpha senses get really sensitive when he's this close to heat."

"You'll come, won't you?" Shimizu asks you. She works in HR and it shows as she packs up a care basket with ease. "Most people don't bring their mates unless it's their own pre-heat party, but I'm sure everyone would love to meet yours!"

You wrinkle your nose before you can help it. The idea of alcohol and Katsuki and your coworkers sounds like a bad combination, especially when you're desperately trying to hide your own pre-heat symptoms from the company. "He doesn't really drink…"

"There'll be nonalcoholic drinks served too," Akane says. "My mate gets her panties all in a twist when I come home drunk."

"It's alright if you don't want to," Shimizu assures you. "We'll just meet him when it's time for your own pre-heat party!"

You freeze in the act of pulling out a package of anal beads where each bead seems to have one character of your company's name stamped on it, but luckily neither of them seem to notice. "Can you do me a favor, in the spirit of our new friendship?" you ask, "Could you guys please choose the toys with the least amount of branding?"

Akane and Shimizu laugh. "Aye, aye, boss!"

"We should just start prepping yours now," Akane says breezily. "That way we'll be ready when it hits you!"

"We can even give it to you early," Shimizu adds, "and I'll just mark it off in your file. You've got next week off, so maybe you can put it to good use ahead of time."

She winks and you laugh nervously, but thankfully they don't know you well enough yet to pick up on it. "That would be great, actually," you say, fidgeting with a packet of flavored lube. "I'm sure my boyfriend will love that."

There's a knock at the door as the three of you dig into boxes and sort misplaced toys into their proper shelves. Someone you vaguely recognize from the IT department pokes their head in and immediately zeroes in on you. "Ah, sorry to interrupt," they say sheepishly, glancing at the fuzzy handcuffs Shimizu is brandishing, "but it looks like your mate is here, and he says it's important."

You stare at them. "My… mate…?"

"Uh. Yes," they say, "Mr. Dynamight?"

What?

You wave goodbye to Akane and Shimizu and thank the IT person for the notice before speed-walking towards the entrance lobby of your building. The elevators always take too long, so you head for the stairs, even though it'll take you out towards the back end of the building. There's no reason for Katsuki to show up at your workplace, especially not when he should still be on patrol. He hasn't messaged you much today, either, but that's not unusual. Did something happen? Is he hurt?

Your heart is pounding so loudly in your ears that you nearly miss the gruff "whoa!" as a densely muscled arm suddenly swings out to snag you by the waist. You're lifted straight off your feet and shoved into a supply closet before you even have a chance to open your mouth and scream, but Katsuki is quick to slap a rough hand over your lips.

"Shh, it's just me, shit, sorry," he grunts, wincing as you bite his hand. "Fuck, your teeth are sharp."

"Katsuki!" You have the presence of mind to keep your voice low as you shout. He must have a reason for ambushing you in the back of your company building, so even if you don't know what's going on, you know better than to risk getting caught. "What are you doing here?"

The closet is dark, though light seeps through the bottom of the door he's shoved you against from the hallway he just caught you in. You can barely make out his deep red eyes with the lighting and his gauntlets and gloves resting on the shelf by his shoulder — everything else is cast in shadows. "I needed to see you."

"… huh?"

"I'm not losing, you got that? I'm just makin' up for yesterday."

"What're you talking ab— hey!" You back up into the door with a thunk as Katsuki leans forward, his thick arms caging you in on either side. "Bakugou Katsuki I swear on your All Might trading cards I'll knee you in the balls if you blow my cover here."

He snorts and ducks his head closer. You can feel the soft puffs of his laughter against your neck as you crane your face away, desperate to maintain the upper hand here even though his proximity is triggering something alarming between your thighs.

"Knew you'd look hot as fuck in my clothes," he mumbles, inhaling sharp along the soft skin of your neck. "You smell so fucking good, too."

"I used a strawberry lip balm today," you breathe, careful to stay pressed back against the door. Katsuki is close enough now that you can feel his chest rumble when he laughs.

He presses his lips to the hammering pulse beneath your jaw. "I'm not gonna blow your fuckin' cover," he says lowly. "I'm just gettin' a little taste."

And then he nips at your skin, mere centimeters away from your scent glands — and you moan.

Loudly.

Desperately.

Fuck him. You're sensitive this far into your pre-heat. Desire thrums through you like a plucked string and you lose your tenuous grasp on your self control. All you can think about is Katsuki, Katsuki, Katsuki as hormones flood your bloodstream and your subdued omega instincts rise to the surface, pheromone suppressor be damned. Your hands are in his hair before you've registered it, yanking him up to kiss you. It's a testament to Katsuki's iron will and his love for you that he lets you drag him into place, though he can't quite kiss you properly because he's smirking too hard. You bite at his lip in retaliation, but that only makes him groan low in his chest and the sound zips straight to your core.

You're so warm. Hot, even, flames of pleasure licking up your spine. You grab onto his shoulders and tremble as he shoves one hard, muscled thigh between your legs, flexing and pressing upwards until your weight rests firmly on top of him. "K-Katsuki…"

"What's the matter, baby?"

"This is so fucking unfair," you whine, tugging at him until he drags you forward by the hips. The friction is delicious and intense, even through your borrowed trousers and the thick fabric of his hero suit, and you can do nothing but hold on for your life as Katsuki guides you into riding his thigh. The easy way his biceps flex and his overwhelming strength turn your mind a little fuzzy. "Why'd you — why're you —"

"Couldn't stop thinkin' about you, brat," Katsuki grunts, pressing his face into the junction between your neck and shoulder. You bare your neck for him instinctively, presenting for him, but he tilts his face up to nip at your ear instead. "Wearin' my clothes and smellin' like me —"

"You're my mate," you gasp out, fisting his hair. "Don't I always smell a little like you?"

Katsuki laughs and stops dragging you along his thigh, shoulders shaking harder when you whimper in protest. You can feel the sharp wave of your impending orgasm recede with every rough chuckle exhaled against your skin. "You want me to keep goin'?"

"You started this, you asshole —"

"Beg for it, then."

Oh. Wait. "Fuck you," you hiss, shoving at him to let you down. He obeys easily, keeping his large hands on your waist to steady you. Desire is still humming hot in your veins, but the cold logic of your brain is working overtime to bring you back down. He's just trying to get you to lose, huh? "Did you come here just to rile me up? What's your problem?"

"Your pre-heat is gettin' to me," Katsuki says, nosing at your temple. Your already flushed body spikes with embarrassment at the tender gesture. "I didn't wanna leave you this mornin', and you were so fuckin' hot yesterday. You sure we can't just kickstart it early?"

"I thought you said you could resist me," you mumble, "what happened to that?"

"I am resistin' you."

You pull away slightly to shoot a pointed look at his body caging you against the door. You get an eyeful of his firm chest and those strong arms you love so much, which doesn't exactly help your predicament, but Katsuki just grins, sharp and beautiful even in the dim light of the closet.

"Baby, if it were up to me, I'd be balls deep in you right now," Katsuki says. Your toes curl in your shoes as you bite back a whine. "But we're tryin' to keep it a secret, yeah?"

This was a mistake. You know — you know your boyfriend has a competitive streak a mile wide, and there's no way he's going to let you walk away from calling him weak for you. Never mind that he's been behaving himself so far — letting you try on his clothes in front of him, sending dirty texts but not acting on any of them — now it seems like he's ready to fight back. Making dinner shirtless last night was definitely a small test for your own self control, but now he's breaking out the big guns by ambushing you at work.

"You're terrible," you breathe, and Katsuki just grins.

"Better get back to work, or your coworkers'll come lookin' for you."

As if your coworkers read his mind, behind you come the distinct sound of clattering footsteps going down the hall. You hear someone beyond the thin barrier of the door you're still pressed against. "Do you think Dynamight will give me his autograph?"

Katsuki meets your glare in the dim light and his grin shifts into a smirk, though his red eyes are unmistakably fond as he regards you. "I'll let you know when the coast is clear."

"You suck. You're evil. They should take away your Pro Hero license."

Your boyfriend laughs quietly and leans forward to brush his lips along your cheek. You tilt your face up into the smoky sweetness of him and manage to kiss the edge of his jaw as he pulls back. He hums with pleasure, but his smirk is still sharp as he eyes you. "Yeah, yeah. You're the one who poked the big bad alpha, you little shit."

Katsuki gets the two of you out of the supply closet and disappears before anyone in your company can corner him for an autograph. You spend a few minutes splashing water on your face in the bathroom, hurriedly trying to cool down as the lingering aftereffects of nearly getting marked race through your bloodstream. Once you deem your reflection (and raging hormones) passable, you head back upstairs and get back to work.

Or at least, you try to get back to work. The stacks of reports are less enticing to you now that you know Katsuki is really trying to get you to beg for him. It all makes sense to you now. The dirty texts and shirtless cooking were testing the waters — his way of seeing how affected you are by him, as if you haven't been mated for years at this point — and now he's ready to leverage your omega biology against you any way that he can. There's no rule saying you can't fuck during your pre-heat, but neither of you have tried thanks to the unspoken agreement that it would make this silly competition less fun.

But you really, really want to fuck him.

"Is everything alright?" Shimizu's voice snaps you out of your vivid fantasies and you blink at your reflection in the dark screen of your monitor. "Your computer's been asleep for ten minutes now. Is your mate okay?"

"O-oh, he's fine," you flush with embarrassment at getting caught slacking. "He just needed to give me something I forgot at home."

"Oh, was that all? That's so nice of him," Shimizu says. "Make sure you ask if he wants to come to the pre-heat drinking party for Kensuke-san."

"Is that really okay?" you ask. "It won't set anything off for Kensuke-san and his mate?"

"Nah. They're bound to be all over each other, anyway. We're all used to it — the drinking party is always more for everyone else to send them off with well wishes," Shimizu explains. "The company picks up the tab, too. It started out as a one-off, and we didn't think the company would keep doing it, but we're all in agreement that if the company is going to pay, then we're going to go out and play."

That… makes sense. Even in a company as supportive as this one, of course it doesn't erase the fact that you're all working under them. "Is that… what happened with the sex toys?"

"Yeah," Shimizu slides into the seat next to yours as she picks up on your interest. "At first, everyone thought it was super cringe and weird, right? Why would we want company branded toys? But it's free stuff, and even if we've got great benefits and paid time off and work isn't unbearable, it's still free stuff. Nobody passes up on the free stuff. We all need to work, so we might as well take advantage of everything the company is willing to give us!"

"And you said you don't really notice the branding…"

"I mean, honestly, you've gone through heats before, haven't you? Are you paying attention to anything besides your mate?"

You snort in agreement. "Back when Katsuki and I were figuring out our mating bond, he triggered my heat on accident and I climbed onto his lap in the middle of an izakaya. He had to help me through it in one of his friends' apartments because it was the closest he could get to a private space nearby."

The two of you ended up buying Denki a whole new mattress and bedding set to replace everything you irreparably messed up that week. His friends were gentle in their good natured ribbing, but you'd unfailingly blush any time you passed by that izakaya, and Katsuki couldn't eat there after patrols anymore without popping a boner.

"That sounds typical," Shimizu says, grinning. "I don't care about mates, myself, but I love hearing about the crazy shenanigans the bond ends up putting you through."

"Is that why there's a company-wide announcement anytime someone is about to enter their heat?" you ask. It's a little risky, bringing it up, but Shimizu is nice and clearly eager to chat on company time. "Most places just mark it as time off."

Shimizu twirls her hair around her finger as she hums in thought. "That started before I joined the company, but I think it's more like… public image? I heard it's the vice president who fully supports heats and likes buying all sorts of new toys for everyone to try out. And if we're celebrating it all so publicly, the president can't protest without looking bad!"

"That's… good," you say. You don't know what else to say to this — but thankfully Shimizu hops out of her seat and waves goodbye cheerily as a chattering group of coworkers enters the room. You try to refocus on your work, but not even a packet of chocolate dipped dried mangoes is enough to help you through more than a few reports.

Hearing about the company policies from a coworker's mouth and seeing everyone chatting excitedly about the end-of-the-week drinking party lifts your spirits. Like you told Katsuki originally, you know you'll get used to the idea of everyone knowing about your upcoming heat. It's just taken some time, and seeing how nobody treats Kensuke from Accounting any differently helps.

Now that you're feeling marginally more comfortable about the whole thing with your company, you feel like you can turn to the real task at hand: teasing your mate and winning this silly game of who can make the other beg for it first.

You skip your stop on the train ride home and hop off at the station closest to Ground Zero. Eijiro was delighted to conspire with you in sending Katsuki back to the agency a little early on his shift and the front desk receptionist lets you into the upper floors with a wide smile. If Katsuki can ambush you at work, it stands to reason that you should return the favor.

You slip into his private office and silently thank Mina for insisting on having strong frosted glass for the windows separating their offices from the cubicles of the sidekicks outside. Katsuki's office is plain overall — there's a large wooden desk with a cushy chair behind it, but otherwise it looks like a normal office space at first glance. As you walk around in it, however, you spot a few All Might collectibles, and there's an omamori hanging off of his desk lamp that you picked up for him at your first shrine visit of the year. He also has a polaroid photo of the two of you — his arm slung around your shoulders as you laughed, his free hand flipping off the camera — washi taped to the bottom of his monitor.

"The fuck're you doin' in here," Katsuki demands, striding into the room and shutting the door behind him with a slam. You jerk up in surprise. He got back a lot sooner than you expected.

"How'd you know I was here?" you ask curiously. Katsuki rolls his eyes as he begins dismantling his hero outfit, the loud clanking and clicking of his gauntlets filling the room as you walk over to help him.

"Smelled you from the station," he says. "As if I'd miss you tryin' to sneak in here."

You grin to yourself, somehow pleased that he sensed you even though he's ruined your chances of surprising him. "I just wanted to help you out," you say, trailing your hands up his arms. Katsuki raises one ash blonde eyebrow, clearly sensing your aim, but he lets you shove his hero mask up into his hair, exposing his forehead.

"Oh yeah?" His gauntlets hit the floor with a thunk and he rips off his gloves, tossing them aside as well. "Help me with what, brat?"

"Just, y'know," you bat your eyelashes up at him just to make him crack a sharp grin, "returning the favor from earlier today."

You kiss him first, a deep, melting kiss that makes your knees go a little weak even though you're the one initiating it. Katsuki's eyes narrow as you sink to your knees, but he doesn't stop you as you palm at his already hard erection through the fabric of his hero suit. "Oi, don't start something if you're not gonna finish it."

"I just want a little taste," you say, grinning as he glares down at you for throwing his words from earlier back at him. You hurry to unbutton and unzip his pants, dragging it down his hips and catching on his thick thighs as his cock springs free. He's leaking at the tip, pearly white and oozing, and he groans when you lick your lips at the sight.

"Fuckin'… don't stare at it."

You tsk. "So impatient." Katsuki threads his fingers through your hair gently as you lean forward to press your tongue against the slit, sliding his cock into your mouth with a wet suck. His hips jerk forward as he grunts, but his hand is endlessly gentle in your hair.

"Motherfu— oh, that's good," he pants, tipping his head back and exposing the strong lines of his throat as he groans. You hollow your cheeks and suck his cock down, settling into a familiar rhythm of bobbing on his dick, sliding your tongue along the underside and teasing at the slit as much as you can. You keep one hand on his thigh for balance and use the other to grab the rest of his length, squeezing in tandem with your bobbing. Wet, slick sounds fill the air as you choke and drool around his cock, and the way he throbs in the heat of your mouth sends a shiver down your spine.

"Sh-shit baby, yeah, just like t-that, fuck," Katsuki moans, his husky voice cracking a little on the words. He tips his head forward to watch the way his cock disappears down your throat, thumbing at your cheek and the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. "You little — you little shit, you're gonna make me fuckin' come —"

You let go of his cock to cup at his balls, hanging heavy at the base of him, fondling them as you suck him deeper into your mouth. The strain on your throat makes you choke around him and he grunts, all of his muscles straining as he struggles not to blow his load. You choke on his cock a few more times, your omega senses singing in your veins with the thrill of pleasuring your mate, but as soon as you feel the telltale signs of his impending orgasm, you pull yourself off of him.

Katsuki nearly knocks you over. "You little — I'm gonna eat you alive you — fuck —"

You suckle at the tip of his cock, smiling up at him as he throbs concerningly in your loose grip. He huffs with the crash of his ruined orgasm and stares down at you in aggravated silence. "You want me to keep going?" you ask innocently, close enough that your lips get smeared with precum and saliva as you talk. Your voice is hoarse. "Just say the magic words, baby."

Your boyfriend seems to realize what you want a few seconds after you speak, as if it takes him a moment for his brain to comprehend full sentences. You peer up at him, blinking slowly, his cock mere centimeters from your lips as his face goes through approximately three different stages of grief.

"You're the worst," Katsuki grumbles, shoving you away and folding himself into a squat. You swipe at your face with the back of your hand, grimacing at the spit as you clean yourself up. He notices, because of course he does, and you watch with interest as Katsuki shoves himself upright to wobble to his desk. He tosses you a few tissues and pulls up his pants and boxers before crouching beside you to help you wipe your face. "The second your heat hits, I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able to feel your legs, you brat."

You suppress a shiver at his words and scratch at your suppressant patch, hidden beneath the high collar of your borrowed shirt. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Katsuki laughs, a short bark that makes you grin. "I hope you're ready, loser," he says, eyeing your lips. "C'mere and give me a kiss."

You wrinkle your nose. "I have dick breath."

"Like I give a shit, pipsqueak." Katsuki nips at your lip as you smile into the kiss, holding onto his shoulders for balance and sneakily smoothing your hands over the dense muscle there. "What're you smilin' about?"

"Just feeling you up."

"Hah?" He's so pretty when he blushes, pink rising high on his cheekbones and staining the tips of his ears red. You nuzzle into his strong neck, inhaling his comforting smoky sweet scent with a sigh of relief. You can feel your omega instincts settling as his scent envelops you properly. Katsuki seems to feel it, too, nudging into your hair and wrapping strong arms around you to keep you close.

After a moment, your legs start to cramp up from the awkward position, so the two of you clamber back up to your feet. Katsuki keeps a firm grip around your arm as you wiggle the feeling back into your toes, and you take advantage of his support to lean heavily against him. "Hey, Katsuki," you say, peering up at him sideways, "when did you steal my fruit themed washi tape?"

"I didn't steal it," he says. You arch an eyebrow. "I just borrowed it." You blink up at him. "Quit fuckin' starin'. It reminds me of you."

Oh. Your heart does a funny little flutter in your chest, which is a little ridiculous considering how long you've been together and the fact that he's literally your mate, but you let the feeling wash over you anyway and beam up at him. "I love you, too."

Katsuki's expression promptly freezes before he rolls his eyes, but his smile is soft. "Let's go already. It's gettin' late."

He holds your hand on the walk to the train station and acts as your wall against the crush of evening commuters. You're clingy — tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie, slipping your fingers through the belt loops of his pants — but Katsuki indulges you, clearly feeling the effects of your pre-heat just as much as you are.

Dinner is a comfortable, teasing affair. You bury your nose into the strong lines of his back as he cooks, pinching the skin of his stomach whenever he makes a snarky remark. He asks about your day and makes you laugh while recounting one of the old ladies on his patrol route who's taken to giving him pointers about how to make cuter bentos.

"You could learn a thing or two from her," you giggle, breathing in deeply.

"Watch it, brat, or I'm puttin' those rice penguins in jail."

The two of you refrain from riling each other up the rest of the night, sinking into the other aspects of your pre-heat instead. He watches with a wrinkled nose as you down a strawberry sando picked up from the konbini after dinner, but he lets you pat your night cream onto his skin and nuzzles your neck while you're tending to your own nightly skincare routine. Katsuki keeps a heavy arm around your shoulders as you tuck yourself into his side, throwing a leg over his thighs as he settles into bed with you.

This is your favorite part of the day — listening to the steady thump of his heart with his scent all around you, teasing him and feeling the low rumble of his voice as he snarks back, running the pads of your fingers over the scars crossing his chest idly and basking in the safety and security of Bakugou Katsuki being in your arms. It's always nice when you can fall asleep with him, when he isn't holed up in his office poring over mission reports or out on the streets taking down villains. You know he'll never say it out loud, but he always kisses you before leaving for patrol in the early mornings, always tucks the blankets back up to your chin to keep out the pre-dawn chill. He has spans of time where he's out more often than not working on taking down big missions, but he always comes back to you.

And with your heat approaching quickly, he starts pawning off his later patrols in order to pick you up from work. This is something like torture for you, personally, because he always smells so fucking good and looks so hot all rumpled and cozy in his post-work clothes. Katsuki makes a funny sound in the back of his throat when you greet him with a hug, slipping his hands a little lower than normal to squeeze your ass and smirking when you squeak and rip yourself away from him.

Luckily he's agreed to meet you a few blocks away from your company building, so you can escape before any of your coworkers notice the two of you. Katsuki gets handsy the closer you get to your heat, but he doesn't push it any further than blatant groping when you pass by him at home, so you retaliate by feeling him up whenever possible. You have no idea if blue balling him at work earlier in the week put the two of you in a stalemate, but you keep your guard up anyway and play by his unspoken rules to keep it to touching only.

It sucks, though.

Every touch makes you shiver; every graze of his lips makes you warm. You can feel the deep, intrinsic ache of your heat simmering just below the surface, the wellspring of desire thrumming through your veins. You're tense — Akane and Shimizu cajole you into fancy beverage breaks because they think you're stressing out too much about work — but your omega senses quiver like a roiling sea being brought to boil, only partially satiated by Katsuki's frequent touches and attention.

It all comes to a head at Kensuke's pre-heat party. Honestly, you should've begged off, but you didn't want to draw suspicion and everyone kept saying how they wanted to meet your mate. Kensuke himself brings along a Dynamight t-shirt in the hopes of a signature, which is just so cute you can't bring yourself to ditch the party.

"Congrats and good luck with your heat," you beam, toasting with Kensuke and his mate, a very pretty brunette who keeps her hand firmly around Kensuke's arm. She gives you a grin and a wink.

"Thanks," she says, "though we shouldn't need it. Ken-chan and I are old hats at this now."

"Your mate's scent is pretty strong, huh?" Kensuke says, tilting his nose up in spite of the grilled skewers being handed around. "It's almost like you're the one in pre-heat with how overpowering his scent is over yours."

"Haha," you swipe a skewer and pretend to be intensely interested in the slightly charred yakiniku. "You're probably just confusing my scent since you're in pre-heat, Kensuke-san!"

"Hm, I guess so," he says easily. His expression suddenly perks up, but you don't need to turn to see why. Every hair on your body raises as that comforting, overwhelming, smoky sweet scent washes over you. "Oh look! It's really Dynamight!"

Fuck.

You feel his red hot stare burrowing into you, and you know without a doubt that he's caught the way you've tensed up. You can feel your nipples perk against the silk fabric of your shirt, straining through your bra, and your panties get undeniably damp as his gaze drags along your form. You feel warm, warmer than you should be in this partially outdoor izakaya, and the air suddenly feels stifling, like you're swimming in smoke.

Katsuki's hand is heavy on your shoulder. You feel his touch like a brand, searing straight through your meager defenses, a spark that flickers as it drifts down to the well of your desire. You know — you know that once it catches, once it alights — you're both screwed.

"Hey, babe," you chirp, leaning into his arm as if your entire body isn't thrumming with want. "This is Kensuke-san and his mate! He brought one of your shirts — would you pretty please sign it?"

Katsuki's red eyes flash as he nods. To everyone else at the party, he probably looks normal. Just a regular Pro Hero alpha, strong and exuding power, all dense muscle and grace and skill, little sparks flying from his hands as he adds a tiny explosion smudge to the end of his signature on Kensuke's merch shirt. The guest of honor and his mate thank Katsuki profusely, and you take advantage of their distraction to slide away towards the bathrooms inside the izakaya proper.

This isn't good. You need to figure out how to get out without anyone noticing that Katsuki's been eye-fucking you since he got here, and then you need to bolt home so you can collapse into your heat in peace. One more touch from your mate and you'll probably drop right into it, but there's no way Katsuki will be able to keep his hands off you tonight.

You press yourself flat against the concrete wall in the hallway for the bathrooms, heart hammering in your chest. Forget worrying about your company's pre-heat shenanigans — you have a new fear unlocked: going into heat at a party full of coworkers.

"Whoa, hey!" Akane's a little louder than usual, a little wobblier on her feet. "The bathrooms are here, yeah?"

You manage to laugh, though there's a pitch of desperation in it that she thankfully doesn't notice. "Yup, they're right here! I just needed a breather. Hey, what happened to sticking to the nonalcoholic stuff?"

"Aw, yeah, I'm having those next," Akane flaps her hand at you breezily. "I'll sober up before I get home! Don't worry your pretty little head 'bout me! Hey, have I ever told you how nice your skin looks? Like, whoaaa."

This makes you giggle. "Do you need help in the bathroom?"

"Nope!" She shoots you a thumbs up. "See ya soon!"

You watch with amusement as she stumbles into the bathroom, but she doesn't hit anything on her way inside, so you lean back against the wall again and take a deep breath. You're aching — a deep, insistent pulse throbbing between your legs as a rich smoky caramel scent tickles at your instincts. Oh, shit.

You barely manage step away from the wall when suddenly Katsuki's there, looming big and broad and setting off every alarm bell ringing in your head. He eyes you with a flinty glare that's more black than red for a moment before he huffs and grabs your hand.

"Uh —"

"Zip it or I'll fuck you right here," Katsuki grits out. Oh, god. Your panties are sticking to your folds, tacky and damp, and you bite back a whimper as he pulls you along. His hand is warm around yours, and even though he's tugging you towards the back entrance of the izakaya, he never moves too quickly for you to keep up.

The two of you burst out into the back alleyway and Katsuki spares a quick glance around before he's on you.

He keeps a hand on the back of your head as he slams you into the dirty brick wall, shielding you even as he wrenches your waist towards him to grind his incriminatingly hard length against you. He kisses you like he wants to eat you alive, wiping out all coherent thought in your brain as your senses strain towards him. "You're gonna kill me," he grunts. You whimper into the kiss and clutch at his shoulders for dear life as he licks into your mouth, filthy and wet, swallowing down your pitched moans as he rocks his clothed cock against your center.

"What d'you want? Fingers or mouth?"

Your eyelashes flutter open in confusion. Your mind feels hazy, lost in the smoky sweetness of your mate, your focus entirely zeroed in on the throbbing of your pussy as Katsuki swears low beneath the clattering of the izakaya door opening.

"Wh— whoops!" the voice sounds familiar, but you can't quite place it. You blearily try to turn your head towards the sound, but Katsuki anchors you closer to him, covering you with his broad shoulders. "I was just — oh! You two should head home! I'll let everyone know you had an emergency!"

The roar of the crowds inside the izakaya rises in volume again before the door clangs shut. Katsuki picks you up before you can figure out what's happening, a strong hand tucking beneath your thighs as you cling to his neck. "Hold on tight."

"What're you— Katsuki, what the fuck!?" The loud, snapping, popping sound of explosions echo in the night before you're suddenly shooting straight into the sky, air rushing past you like you're flying. You tuck your face into his neck and swallow down an aborted scream, because, well — you are flying, propelled through the city skyline by Katsuki's explosive power.

Your boyfriend laughs. The shaking of his chest is familiar, at least, and you concentrate on that and the strong, sweet scent of his scent gland right beneath your lips. It would be downright disastrous for you to bite him now, while you're soaring through the city leaving fireworks in your wake, but you can't help kissing and sucking at the skin of his neck and shoulder as your body shivers with want.

There's a thud as he lands heavily and then a muttered curse before the tinkle of glass meeting concrete filters into your ears. You take a peek and catch sight of your apartment's balcony curtains fluttering in the wind, but the perspective is all wrong — why're you looking in as if you're —

"Katsuki," you pinch one of his strong shoulders, "did you just break into our apartment?"

"I'll get the glass replaced next week," Katsuki says, stepping inside and kicking off his boots. You're shivering, hot, feverish. He's warm, too — as usual — but sweat beads across his brow and you know you're close. "Bed, now. Or all our neighbors'll hear you screamin' my name."

Katsuki doesn't put you down. He carries you in a princess hold, the hand supporting your back smelling like smoke and soot, and he kicks the bedroom door shut with one socked foot. "Katsuki, Katsuki," he mocks, and suddenly you realize you've been chanting his name, fingers clenching tight to the hairs on the back of his head. "What d'you want, baby? Fingers or mouth?"

"I want you —"

His laugh is rough, a tortured sound spilling from his lips as he drops you on the bed and immediately kneels between your legs. Your breath catches in your throat as he slides your shoes off and tosses them aside. You lean up on your elbows to watch, wide eyed and breathless, as he trails his lips along the bare skin of your calf, hiking your skirt up with every beat of your heart. "I want you, too," he mutters, pupils blown wide with lust, his smirk pressing into your thigh. "But answer the question."

Your body thrums with anticipation. You can feel your heartbeat in your core like a siren song. "Katsuki, please —"

Katsuki snaps. A loud riiip tears through the air as he tosses aside the ruined fabric of your panties and then he's on you, his tongue licking dirty and insistent through your folds. You choke on a moan, hips canting into the air as pleasure sparks in your synapses, chasing the feeling as he eats you out like a man starved.

"Katsuki, Ka— nghh, Katsuki, please —"

Your boyfriend swirls his tongue around your clit and you nearly sob as you clench around nothing, your inner walls spasming with your near orgasm. Your thighs are tense, locked tight around his head. Katsuki doesn't seem to mind, lapping at your slick and groaning into your warmth, fingers digging into the fat of your thighs to hold you down.

Distantly you hear yourself whimpering and whining, but Katsuki continues to torture you, bringing you to the brink and pulling back as soon as you start to spasm. Somewhere in the depths of your mind you know there's a way to get him to — to fuck you properly —

You release the blanket you've been twisting in a death grip and scrabble for the pheromone patch on your neck. It takes a few tries as you pant helplessly, your fingers sliding off your sweaty skin, but as soon as your nail digs under the edge you rip it off and drown.

"Haah, fuck you —"

Katsuki rips himself away from your fluttering pussy with a groan and shoves his pants down awkwardly, the thick fabric catching on his thighs but low enough that his cock springs free. You whine at the sight, reaching for him, and he huffs out a laugh as he clambers over you. "You asked for it," he warns, but his voice cracks as the tip of his cock nudges against your wet folds.

"Oh, god, please please please. In," you grab at his arms and tilt your hips up, "Please get inside me."

"Fucking — hell —" Katsuki groans as he pushes inside, but his self control is at an all time low. He doesn't want to hurt you, but you're so wet and warm and your velvety walls are practically squeezing him in a vice grip.

He shoves every hard inch of his cock into you with a grunt, kissing you hard as you fall off the edge into bliss.

White. Sparks. It takes you a moment to come back to your senses, a moan punching through your chest as Katsuki pants into your neck. "Fuck."

"Yeah?" He rolls his hips and you whine at the sensation of being stuffed full of his cock, wiggling as best as you can beneath him. His skin is sweaty and sticky against yours, and you realize pulled his own shirt off. He's shoved your borrowed shirt up and off so that you're nearly naked, and out of the corner of your eye you spot your bra dangling from the doorknob where he tossed it away.

"Katsuki, c'mon, move," you plead. He digs his elbows into the mattress on either side of your head and rolls his hips again, dragging every rock solid inch of him against your insides. You clench around him, sparks skittering up your veins as he bullies his way back in, and then he's gone.

Katsuki fucks you into the mattress. You can barely string together a sentence, holding onto his arms as he shoves himself deep with every thrust. The overpowering scent of him fills the air along with the smell of sex and sweat and your choked off moans. You cling to him as best as you can, tilting your neck up as an offering as his thrusts get deeper and harder, crying out when he reaches to rest your legs on his shoulders, ankles dangling by his head as the changed angle lets his cock kiss a spot inside you that makes you sob.

"Oh, oh, Katsuki, fuck please I need you I want you please please please —"

"I — I got you," he grunts, "just fucking — hah you've gotta —"

"Oh I'm gonna cum, I'm — Katsuki I'm gonna cum!"

Katsuki growls as you leap off the edge again, pressing a strangely sweet kiss to your lips before leaning down further and licking along the side of your neck. You barely have a moment to register what he's doing before his body locks up and he bites you, marking you as his cock spurts and kicks inside you.

"Oh, fuck —"

The heady rush of pheromones sends you spinning dizzily higher, a pleasure so intense lighting up your nerves you nearly black out. Distantly you can still feel Katsuki cumming, thick ropes of white painting your insides as he rocks his hips in tiny, incessant motions against you. He lets go of your neck with a grunt. And then you feel it.

"Ah. Ah." The swell of his knot is thick and alarming, but you force yourself not to tense as he locks up with you. The overwhelming feeling sends your nerves buzzing and you tilt your head to kiss him, languid and sweet.

"How's it?" he asks, breaking the kiss just to press his sweaty forehead against yours. You meet his deep red eyes and brush a kiss along the pink swell of his cheekbones. "I didn't hurt you?"

"I'm fine," you sigh. Your heart is still thumping like a drum in your chest, but Katsuki is warm and solid and unyielding around and inside you. You're so full. You nuzzle into the neck of your mate. "You're lucky I'm so damn bendy."

The first knot is always the most lucid, the relief of sliding into heat lending clarity to both of your senses before dissolving into a messy, incoherent sex fest. By the end of the cycle you'll have lost track of how many times and how many ways Katsuki takes you — though you know he's fond of the shower and he used to like propping you up against the balcony doors…

"Did you really break the balcony door?" you ask suddenly, disrupting Katsuki's careful kiss to your jaw. Your boyfriend snorts, slowly sliding your legs off his shoulders and wincing lightly as his knot jostles inside you.

"If I had to go through the apartment I would've taken you in the goddamn elevator."

"Oh." You wince as his knot slips slightly. Another thought leaps unbidden to the front of your mind. "Who was that at the izakaya?"

Katsuki shrugs. "Some chick. The one you were helpin' to the bathroom."

Your brain still feels fuzzy with endorphins and the afterglow of white hot pleasure, so it takes you a moment longer to figure out who he's talking about. You groan. "Oh, no… not Akane…"

"She said she'd take care of it," Katsuki assures you, nosing along your neck. "And 'sides, that's not what you should be worried 'bout."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh? And what's that?"

The grin Katsuki shoots you is shit-eating and terribly, annoyingly endearing.

"You begged for it first."

A few days later, while Katsuki heats up some premade food so neither of you die of malnutrition, you finally remember to turn on your phone. It pings! with notifications, but one flagged as "important" catches your eye.

Shimizu: Hey friend, hope your heat's going well! I've sent along your company care package to be delivered to your apartment, and once you get back we'll have a post heat drinking party for you! I also sent out your pre-heat company-wide congratulations email a few days ago, but don't worry, I'll send it out earlier next time so we can celebrate you properly!

Katsuki pokes his head into the bedroom at your loud groan, two plates piled high with food balancing on his strong forearms.

"What's the matter, pipsqueak?"

"Did we get a delivery?" you ask. Katsuki sets the plates down on the bed beside you and disappears for a moment, but then you hear a loud bark of laughter and he reappears with a large box. "Oh, no. Don't tell me…"

Katsuki reaches in and whips out a dildo with your company's name stamped along the base. "They found out?"

"I'm gonna die," you say. "I can never face any of them ever again."

"So dramatic," Katsuki snorts, setting the box down. He braces his hands on either side of your thighs as he leans down to kiss you. "Wanna see which one makes you beg hardest?"

"We are not using those toys, Katsuki!"

"We'll see how you feel when I've got you beggin' for me again."

[lionlena]

Llamas don't drink whiskey... (JackDanielsxf!reader) one shot

Summary: Jack allows you to have many animals on his ranch, but will he allow llamas?

Warnings: fluff, a lot of fluff, a tiny bit of smut

Llamas don't drink whiskey

A few weeks after you became Jack's fiancée, he asked you to move to his ranch. You agreed immediately because you saw only the advantages. First of all, you could be closer to your beloved Cowboy. Always wait for him when he returns from his mission. Secondly, it was a good opportunity to get to know each other even better before the wedding and introduce your own changes. Although you didn't want to change his home too much, because the truth was that you loved Jack's ranch. It was wonderful, just like in the picture.

And there was a third reason: ANIMALS.

You loved animals, but you could never keep them because first your stepsister was allergic, so your parents didn't let you have pets. When you were a student, you didn't have this option either, and then, the owners of the apartments you rented didn't agree to keep animals. So it had to be enough for you to help at the animal shelter and take care of your friend's pets.

But that finally changed. Because there were animals on Jack's ranch (your ranch) and you could have kept more.

Jack was happy to make your dreams come true. Your happiness was his happiness. So you already had your own horse, dog, cat, Vietnamese pig... Jack agreed to everything.

"You want chickens, Sugar. You'll have chickens."

"You want to have rabbits, Sugar. You're going to have rabbits."

However, your last request was not met with such enthusiasm. You were lying on the couch together. You on Jack with a satisfied face after riding him. You were both catching your breath after you both reached your climax. His cock was still twitching inside you as you blurted out:

"Can we have a llama?"

Jack opened his eyes and looked at you as if you had asked for a giraffe.

"What are you gonna do with a llama, huh? You just want to get one for the aesthetic?"

You looked at him offended and pouted:

"No... Cuddling a llama cures anxiety and calms you down. They are great therapy animals."

Jack chuckled at that. He had never even considered a llama as a suitable therapy animal. But then, his mind switched gears, and he raised his eyebrow.

"But can you even ride a llama?"

You started laughing as you imagined it. Your Cowboy on a llama.

"I don't think you can ride on llamas... They might be pack animals, I guess."

"So why do you need a llama?" He replied jokingly.

You shook your head, knowing full well that he was teasing you.

"You can't ride dogs, or chickens, or even cows, but we keep them."

Jack smiled and stroked your hair.

"The dog guards the ranch, the chickens give eggs, the cows give milk, and the llamas..."

"And llamas bring comfort."

Jack laughed and looked into your beautiful eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist your request for long. He loved you too much.

"So you want a llama for therapeutic purposes, right? That means you have to cuddle a giant llama every time you feel anxious or stressed. Could you do that? Would a llama even be a good cuddle partner? I mean, it has a neck, long neck, and such a goofy little face."

"A llama is a great cuddle buddy… Llamas are so cute and…" You stroked his cheek. "I think you're kind of like a llama."

"I am?" He asked, raising his eyebrows playfully. It was obvious that he wasn't annoyed by this strange comparison, after all, he was so in love with you that nothing could make him mad at you. "So... you're going to cuddle with me to relieve your stress, is that what you're saying?"

"Yes." You said and hugged him tightly. "You're perfect for cuddling."

That's what he wanted to hear. He protected and cared for you, and he didn't mind at all that you treated him like a comfortable pillow. On the contrary, it gave him incredible happiness. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him as if you were a precious treasure.

"You can come and cuddle with me whenever you want, Sweetheart."

You sighed in contentment and kissed his neck.

"So... Can I have llamas?"

He laughed when you asked again. It seemed like your obsession with llamas was even bigger than his obsession with you. But he was ready to fulfill this request as well.

"Of course, you can have a llama, princess. I won't even argue with your request. I'll buy you the biggest and best llama. A male llama too, in case you'd be happy knowing you'll have a little llama guy to cuddle with when you're stressed."

You giggled happily and looked into his eyes lovingly.

"You're the best."

And those were the words that immediately made him smile broadly, his heart swelling with love for you and pride in himself. He loved it when his Sugar was happy because it meant his happiness. He wanted nothing more than to live with you on your ranch. And he didn't mind that this ranch was slowly turning into a mini zoo.

He imagined that maybe one day there would be a little cowboy running among all these animals... Or a little princess.

He kissed your head and purred softly:

"You'll get your llama."

*

A month later, four llamas appeared on your ranch because: "Jack, a llama can't live alone, they need a herd."

So you had three females and of course one male. Each llama was different. One was all white, the second was white and brown, and the third was black. The male, named Cobalt, was light-colored with brown dots and... You couldn't help but think he was making exactly the same faces as Jack. You even bought him a little cowboy hat and secretly called him Jack.

Of course, Whiskey still pretended that llamas were unnecessary and that they were of no use.

However, one day you caught him hugging one of them. You entered the stable quietly and leaned against the doorframe, watching your beloved pet the llama's neck. The day before, he had returned from a hard mission and had apparently discovered the therapeutic properties of llamas.

You cleared your throat and he immediately moved away from the llama and scratched his head.

"What... I just came to feed them... She stuck to me herself."

"Of course, Jack." You replied and giggled. "So, llamas aren't that useless."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. He started stroking the llama's neck again.

"They're not that bad, but they have one major flaw." You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. "They don't drink whiskey."

You started laughing loudly. Of course, it was all Jack. He had to find some flaw, no matter how absurd. He couldn't just admit that he liked llamas.

"Oh yeah... Llamas don't drink whiskey." You repeated and walked over to him.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and snuggled into his broad chest. After all, he was always your first choice when it came to cuddling.

Jack immediately hugged you back and kissed your head.

"But you know who drinks whiskey?" You started talking. "Me. So I can be your companion."

He chuckled softly and pulled you closer to him.

"You are the best companion." He whispered into your ear. "For everything, not just drinking whiskey."

You felt yourself getting pleasantly warm. You grabbed his hand.

"Let's get out of here. Llamas shouldn't have to witness what happens after drinking whiskey."

Jack laughed loudly and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Of course, Sugar! Leave the llamas... You can't ride them. But You can ride your cowboy!"

Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed

[miscfandomwrites]

A/N: Based off a prompt of two people who don't work well together being forced to make breakfast together, expect one of them fucks something up. Also, I made some characters have food allergies. Because I can and it helps make them more relatable in my opinion. Anywho, I can make more of this if y'all like.

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader (tried to keep it non-discript as possible)

Warnings: langauge

Words: 700ish

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

~

“You’ve never learned how to cook?” 

“Well, I have, I just don’t mess with hot things or knives or anything that might damage my hands.” 

“Well, that’s a bit vain, but considering your job is messing with someone's very delicate brain, I think you can get a pass. This time.” 

“Oh, this time, huh? Thanks, I guess.” 

I grinned at him. “C’mon, it’s our turn to make breakfast today, we’re gonna go all out so I can show you how to cook.” 

I grabbed a pair of aprons from the side of the fridge, tossing one to him. “I’ll do prep and you can make everything, should be simple.”

I asked FRIDAY to open up a digital whiteboard, and jotted down the ideas I had for breakfast: 

Banana Bread (2 loaves)

Pancakes with and without blueberries

Quiche (3)

Breakfast potatoes (two sheets)

Scrambled eggs

Bacon

Breakfast sausage

Sourdough bread

“That doesn’t look ‘Simple to me’ “ Strange remarked, eyes widening at the list as he finished tying his apron. 

“This is nothing, I used to work in a summer camp kitchen. Besides, we’re feeding several super soldiers, a couple gods, and several others.” I told him as FRIDAY helped make the lists of everything I’d need, and thankfully I had woken up early to feed and start the sourdough bread so it’d be ready to put into the oven in about half an hour. 

Putting on some 2010 hits from when I was a bit younger, I started pulling out ingredients while Stephen got the bowls, pots, and pans ready for it. 

I quickly diced and chopped a variety of vegetables and prepped some quiche in some pre-crusted pans that I pulled from the freezer, popping them into the first oven while I monitored Stephen making the banana bread. 

“Is this literally it? No seasonings or add-ins?” He questioned as he poured the first bread mix into the greased pan. 

“I mean, you can add like cinnamon and nutmeg and stuff but Clint has a nut allergy so I don’t, and last week we found out Loki is allergic to cinnamon, so.” I told him as I parboiled some potatoes. 

He paused at that and turned to me, confused. “A god from another planet has an allergy?” 

“Yeah, not surprising if you think about it for a bit. Took me a little bit to think about it as well.” I replied, taking a sip of my coffee as I used a fork to poke a potato. 

He narrowed his eyes and stared off into space for a bit, something I usually did when I was trying to figure out something in my head. 

“I mean, he is from another planet after all, and I don’t suppose they have the same spices as we do, so that leaves a whole world of possibilities open for them.” He said slowly after a moment. 

I nodded, taking the potatoes off the heat and straining them into the colander in the sink. 

“Peter is allergic to food dyes. Which is why he’s in the kitchen so often making his own candy with his friends.” 

“So that explains the large jar of sugar on the counter then.” he motioned to it as he put the bowl and measuring spoons into the sink. 

“Oh that? I think it’s citric acid, but I’d ask him at breakfast before you go putting it into anything.” 

He stopped for a moment and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, making me pause. 

“You put that into the banana bread, didn’t you?” 

“It looked like sugar! What else was I supposed to use?” He yelled at me. 

“I don’t know! Maybe the jar on the left of the sink with the label Plain Sugar on it!” I yelled back, heading over to the fruit bowl and yanking the rest of the bananas from it. 

“It’s fine, we’ll just keep them in the kitchen and hopefully no one will notice.” 

~ One hour later ~

Everyone had started coming from their various morning routines and piled into the kitchen, grabbing bowls of food and taking it into the dining room as I got the hot pitchers ready with both regular and decaf coffee, and pulling out the pitches of various juices and iced coffee, carrying them into the room as well. 

As we finally all sat down, I explained how Stephen helped make breakfast and pointed towards the banana bread, and soon enough everyone had a slice. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” came from Bucky, spitting out the slice on his plate. “WHY IS IT SOUR?” 

Welp, looks like people noticed.

[harrywavycurly]

My obsession with wanting to be spoiled is real so please indulge me with more Eddie spoiling his Princess please Sarah❤️❤️

Hiii lovey!! I am here to indulge you! Enjoy babes💖

-For fun I tossed in a conversation with Wayne and Eddie it’s marked with a✨

-you can find everything for Eddie and his Princess here

*Eddie is good at a lot of things, spoiling you is the main one*

“Ready for bed baby?” “Ten more minutes?” “You have a busy day tomorrow sweetheart.” “Fine…I’m ready.” “I’ll read to you for a bit if you want?” “Oh yes please…you know I can walk to the bedroom myself…” “you can? I’ve never seen you do it before.” “That’s because you carry me every time…” “because you get clumsy when you’re sleepy.” “It was one time…I swear the doorframe came out of no where.” “Mhmm right…and that’s all it took for me to decide carrying you is the safest option.”

✨ “now you know I’m not one to get into other people’s situations or whatever but…you do an awful lot for that girl…” “yeah?” “I saw you doing laundry the other day…when you lived here it was like you were allergic to the washing machine…couldn’t get you to touch it unless I paid you.” “It’s just different with her? I want to make her happy and I like…doing things for her.” “You cook too? Clean and all that shit?” “Yeah I do it all pretty much and it’s not because she tells me to or anything so get that look off your face…I just..I don’t know it’s hard to explain but I don’t want her to have to bother with things that I can just do for her…” “and you like doing all that stuff?” “I do..yeah..I like taking care of her.” “I mean whatever works for you two…who the hell am I to judge? You’re happy right?” “Honestly? She makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.” “Then that’s all that matters…but what’s a man got to do to get you to cook for me sometime huh?” “You’re welcome to come over for dinner anytime old man.” “Old man? Come here so I can kick your ass.”

“White with pink flowers or black with purple dots?” “Uhh white with flowers.” “Excellent choice Princess…right foot please.” “One day can I get some rings like yours? I think I’d look very badass with a skull ring.” “You can just have mine if you want…left foot baby…thank you.” “You wouldn’t miss it?…Are these new socks?” “Why would I miss it? I’ll see it all the time on your hand…yeah I got them last time I was at the store since half of your socks have holes in the toe.” “I’d love to wear your ring I think it might fit my thumb…I have holes in my toes from having to get on my tiptoes to give you kisses.” “Whatever finger you want to wear it on works for me baby…oh is that right? So I’m the reason your socks get ruined?” “That and maybe I slide around on the wood floor too much…” “Ah so tiptoe kisses and wood floors are the culprits then? Sounds about right…what shoes? It’s cold outside so something that’ll keep your feet warm.” “Brown boots please.” “Okay…there we go….you’re good to go baby.”

“Baby…sweetheart it’s time to get up…come on baby open those pretty eyes for me.” “Mmm too early Eddie…” “I let you sleep in ten extra minutes Princess but you’ve got to get up now…I made coffee and breakfast it’s waiting for you in the kitchen.” “Breakfast?…pancakes?” “Pancakes and some eggs just for you sweetheart now come on…that’s it open your eyes…no no baby don’t roll over…come on sweetheart don’t make me turn the light on.” “Kiss and I’ll get up.” “Fine..one kiss and then you’re getting up even if I have to carry you to the kitchen table” “you’d enjoy that…” “you know me so well baby.”

“I think maybe the green one? It’ll go with my vest.” “That’s true…green scrunchie it is baby. So you’re working with Robin today right?” “Yup just us two this morning then I think Steve closes…that’s a little tight…” “sorry Princess…how’s that?” “Much better…will you let me do your hair?” “Sure sweetheart right after I’m done with yours.” “But we won’t have time after mine? You said we are running late…” “damn looks like mine will just have to look like this for today.” “You’re so annoying…I just want to do your hair since you do mine.” “All I did was put yours in a bun baby nothing crazy.” “you braided it yesterday…”

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Leftist disability ally’s not shit on people with dietary restrictions and allergies challenge.

eh, I just keep noticing this.

like people with celiac,

food allergies (to soy, corn, wheat, rice, milk, eggs, nuts, seafood, and more)

food sensitivities (imagine a non fatal allergy that’s what it is.)

and intolerances. (Worse usually than sensitivities and depending on what? can actually kill people.)

keep getting utterly shit on, like I keep seeing people just invalidating and telling them that it’s not an excuse to do something???

like huh???

if I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say “just let the guy with allergies die” I’d have 16 nickels!

which is concerning!

because WHAT THE FUCK!

allergic reactions are treated like a joke, when people LITERALLY DIE FROM ALLERGIC REACTIONS.

like in my heart of hearts if you do not stress over everything your allergic friends eat YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

I have allergies I can get anaphylaxis and DIE, I have to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL because I don’t carry a epi-pen with me.

and if I can’t make sure something doesn’t have an allergen I DONT EAT.

that’s the reality for every single person with allergies, and I can’t actually trust anyone who wouldn’t care for me the same way.

I’d always make sure my friends and acquaintances are safe, but like some of this rhetoric and stuff people say literally FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT.

because people just don’t understand the severity of allergic reactions and anaphylaxis.

and it leads to SO MANY PEOPLE DYING, it’s HEARTBREAKING

I have horror stories upon horror stories of this shit, and it freaks me out.

it’s ableism and its so acceptable, it’s so fucking scary that people don’t care enough to read labels or tell you correctly what’s in food.

it’s so scary man, this shouldn’t be acceptable but it is.

and it’s TERRIFYING!

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Random Things Dr. Iceberg Has Said While Hunched Over His Desk Asleep

Dr. Julian Iceberg is many things. Touchy, sarcastic, a fan of bad ninja movies, a sucker for good pecan pie, and... kinda funny as a sleeptalker. Since he's really gotten up a lot of noses, and Dr. Gears likes me, it's our frosty sourpuss's turn to get teased. Big Boss spilled plenty of iced tea on the subject.

"Wait... since when do we have whoopee cushions as part of our kit?"

"Big banana boy." Repeated ten times, we have no banana anomalies of any kind, as far as I know.

"Silk hose? Really? This the modern age, or the pirate age?"

"I'm gonna keyhaul him right into a volcano."

"No, no, no. No. No. Nein, nyet, non, not happening. I do not get paid enough to paint 682's nails. Ask 053, he likes her. Oh? Why didn't you just ask to borrow my blue polish?"

"For 343's sake, Bright! Naked yoga is an in-quarters only activity! O5 told you this!"

"Dyo. Wash. Your. Bits. I'm getting blinded by your blinged-out dong."

"Why are they green?"

"You're gonna need a bigger gun, Alto." A pause. "Bigger. Like an AC 130 big. Well, don't ask me then. Sheesh."

"Since when did lasagna get on the menu?"

"You have a choice: put on clothes, or get the hose." Long pause. "Gender appropriate clothes. No one wants to see you in a miniskirt."

"Run. Faster. Go faster. Clowns are coming, must go faster."

"Choke on a Deagle, Insurgency bastard!"

"I WILL SHOVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU CAN WATCH ME BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! DON'T CALL ME 'JULIE'!" No idea where that came from, but that was at 3 am on a Monday. When Iceberg.exe crashes, he crashes hard. He was there for hours, I heard.

"Hey, 076? Settle a bet, please? You wear the loincloth because it's cooler than pants, right?"

"My feet are NOT happy."

"For the ninth and final time, PUT ON SOME PANTS! I want to see a dong, I'll call Dr. Bright."

"Huh. This a cupcake, or the stone 073 used to kill 076-2 the first time?"

"WHO PUT CLOWN MAKEUP ON THE KETCHUP PUPPIES?!?"

"Pffft. So you got a jar of dirt. We have literal God and Foundation funding on our side, my good sir."

"Finally, something Mabel made that doesn't taste of Styrofoam." (aggressively chews file folders) "These hotcakes need some syrup."

"There is no Dr. Iceberg, only Zuul!"

"Dad! Bruce is sitting on me. Again."

"Jack. Get YOUR head out of MY ass."

"No... not the pink snowball suit! I'll be good, Boss, I promise! I don't want to be a snack cake!"

"You don't scare me. I've seen Dr. Gears angry."

"Fish."

"Do I look like I know what's going on?"

"No. Grape. Soda."

"Uh... didn't think Jello shots involved firearms, but your party, Alto."

"This is the weakest coffee I ever had. This isn't even coffee, it's the ghost of Java past. If I set this down and walk away, I bet $100 4999 pays it a visit."

"Eat this, you big ugly undead asshole."

"Leather pants? Hope you powdered yourself, otherwise... ouch."

"Duck. I mean... Duck!" A pause, then laughter. "And now you have literal egg on your face. I told you there was a duck."

"I'm allergic to peanuts. I'll skip "Peanut Butter Jelly Time", thanks."

"Uh... why is there A GIANT FREAKING BUTTHOLE in the Astrophysics Labs?"

"Bugger off, it's my panini."

"Leggo my Lego, Bright! That's my bloody X-Wing, I built it fair and square!"

"Touch my boots, I'll freeze your hands off."

"Coffee. Black. Never mind the mug, I'll drink it straight from the carafe."

[evansbby]

OH MY GOD MENS ICKSSS- like there are few for me but when i get them its like an allergic reaction!

- when they do those internet dances FUCK ICK!! like the Dab or something fuck. (Except for that one video where benedict cucumber did it cyz that... that confused me. that made me produce an egg. NEXT.)

-slippers... idfk... sandals. mens toes are ew. with the fucking long hair on their toes and theyre so UNAPOLOGETIC about how thick and fat their toes are fucking GAG.

- when they flip their coat/shirt collars up (except for benedict as sherlock??? shit. AGAIN IDK WHY i might have to look into this and self refect.)

- when they have those super unfunny group chats with their friends where they talk as if theyre all geniuses ahead of the game wtf why do all men have those group chats??? and its never funny??? but they think it is??? everytime i catch a glimpse of it im like bitch the fuck 😭 im funnier than that surely. and they sound so fucking dumb everytime but PROUD. ick vicky wicky.

- when they cant deal with standing in lines. its like theyre too cool for it. bro no, you don't clean ur nails, stand in line like a normal human being and accept the shame u weirdly associate with being patient.

- when men barely talk to their children during family outings... thats just asking for me to commit a hate crime. not even an ick.

- cartoon shirts... anime shirts... quote shirts... id rather they wear banana patterns t shirts or something like... ITS FINE WHEN IM UNINTERESTED IN THE DUDE but like after fhat i cant help but look at it and wonder... "doth he hentai?" and then "is thee childish???" and then it makes me hate myself because im judging them way to hard and its double damage. coz im ick with him and ick with myself 😔

- SMOKING which is less icky then FUCKING VAPING WHAT. Both gives me loser vibes fucking pupping in a desolate corner every hour, begging for a light maybe. standing around awkwardly with people and delighting in your addiction. the whole thing is super mega ducky ick. Like WHY??? (the only exception is tommy shelby and sherlock- SPECIFICALLY the fictional characters. I saw benedict on the streets once and phsically cringed and crossed the street i wish i was joking thats how bad my ick was.)

- Long hair. no no i know some guys apparently look hot in it but i dont SEE it and i REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. i had to INVESTIGATE for years why people found harry styles hot and had to cover the sides of his head with my hands to see him in short hair to understand he had potential. not. one. guy. with long hair looks hot. nope. even daemon i was like hUh? until he showed up in that one ep with short hair and i was like 🤤 Papa? Be my uncle ❤️ then his L'Oreal hair came back and he looked like a 🐴

- guys who try to be fashionable but they just look so shit. with the fuckin berets and big leather pants and vests and gun harneses 🙂‍↕️ my guy u look like what invented delete. like some dudes can do the shit out of and it just works but my guy... a clean shirt and some black trousers...

- guy sending sexy selfies... like who r u pouting for my dude 😭 just smile please 🤌✨

idk if these are icks but i felt these to my soul 🥹 im sorry its long i just had to get it off my chest HAHAH

luv u xoxo

-🐝🖖

oh wow bestie this is some list!!!

if by internet dances you mean like the tiktok dances then yes i wholeheartedly agree.. my man should ONLY have a tiktok for watching purposes. if he posts a thirst trap or him dancing to some trending song then that's it, he's not my man anymore lmfaoo. like that's so CRINGE tiktok dances are for the girlies!!! my man needs to have minimal social media presence hehe.

i kinda agree with the sandals one but i don't mind when men wear sliders sometimes in a casual way haha.

boys group chats are the worst most misogynistic cesspools of debauchery ever like truly boys are SO LAME when with their dumb friends so agree with that one.

i've never met a man who can't deal with standing in lines lol but tbh I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE therefore i myself hate standing in lines lmfaooo so my man would have to be the opposite of me. although i understand this one so this isn't an ick for me.

[gloomywolfmushroom]

Hickory Tiger Moth Caterpillar aka Hickory Tussock Moth

Found this cutie today!

These fuzzy, white and black caterpillars are commonly found in the autumn season, primarily located in North America.

The adult moths are a tan to a light brown and have rows of cream colored spots on top of their wings. They fly from May-June and lay their eggs on the underside of leaves. Usually resulting in 100 or more!

The young larvae then hatchery anywhere from July-September, and will start to feed on the nearby leaves. Once they grow older, they tend to feed is smaller groups or even by themselves! The mature white fuzzy caterpillars that we encounter, have left the host plant in search of a place to spin their cocoon.

Now, they may be very pretty but you do not want to touch! The hickory tiger caterpillar used it's dainty hairs for defense. The hairs are barbed and can easily detach becoming embedded in the skin. When they spin their cocoon, they also incorporate these hairs into it, so it can be protected! The result of of touching these hairs will cause an itchy rash, sometimes an allergic reaction.

Below is a picture of the moth 🙂 (not my photo) so pretty huh??

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs Sword-Dancing With Gith

Lae'zel: All right. We near the creche. We will go straight there; no dallying!

Alisaie: I'd promise you that, but I know what our lives are like. I'll get us there, but holy fuck, chill.

Lae'zel: Ugh. Very well. But I am not pleased with this.

Lady Esther: Hello? Oh. You travel with one of those savages that set up one of those ... creche ... things at the monastery. They got very upset when I tried to buy one of their eggs and--

Alisaie; Lae'zel: Excuse you?!?

Lady Esther: We just wanted to do a nature-vs-nurture experiment! We're sure that one of those creatures could actually be sociable if they were raised properly!

Alisaie; Lae'zel: ...............

Shadowheart: Should we tell this woman what that look means, from those two?

Gale: Hell no. She's earned this.

Lady Esther: So you're travelling with one of them and I'm sure you wouldn't mind stealing one of their eggs for--

Alisaie: Y'know ... I was going to just stab the everliving shit out of you for suggesting that a) kidnapping is okay and b) I might be willing to do it for your Society of Brilliance experiment bullshit. But then I thought to myself ... why should I get the pleasure of that when it's Lae'zel's people you're wronging? Lae'zel? All yours.

Lae'zel: Ha! Finally! *stabs the everliving shit out of Lady Esther*

Gale: Well, at least they're bonding.

Alisaie: Hey, Gale! I think this armour would do good things for you!

Gale: It's ... got a cropped top.

Alisaie: You've got the figure for it, and it's enchanted to help with your unwillingness to jump any gap ever.

Gale: You know ... in most of these stories, it's the women who are in the skimpy clothing and men are in the armour. Which ... is ... something I should not have said when I'm travelling with a party full of women but...

Alisaie: Look, we'd put you in armour too but your spells stop being castable when you're in it so let's not. And someone needs to be able to take a hit if you can't.

Gale: ...Fine, but you can't tell me you're not enjoying this.

Alisaie: Hey, I may not be planning to travel the landscape but that doesn't mean I can't admire the view from time to time. But honestly, maybe your ex'll enjoy the view enough to not let you kerblooey all over the literal landscape!

Gale: ...I'm not sure what kind of compliment that is, but I suppose I'll take it?

After some noodling around through the environs around the monastery, and using an old ferry, which was really fun

Alisaie: Hey, Lae'zel?

Lae'zel: Speak.

Alisaie: Now, it's obvious that your people don't like this Absolute or any of its cult.

Lae'zel: Obviously not!

Alisaie: But ... this artefact doesn't want to go with them either.

Lae'zel: We can cross that bridge when we come to it.

Alisaie: Maybe I should ask some questions of that gnome they killed--

Lae'zel: Or we could simply move on. Why we feel the need to search this building--

Gremishka: *screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Alisaie: How about killing things? Does 'killing things' work?

Lae'zel: ...Frustratingly, yes.

A bunch of dead magic-allergic rats later...

Lae'zel: And still we wander!

Alisaie: Look, it's not like your creche people left a sign! I'm trying to find a way in, but--

Kobolds: *are very very drunk*

Kobolds: *are going to try to kill the party anyway*

Gale: Drunk and flammable! It's a party!

Alisaie: Gale wait don't--

Gale: IGNIS!

Kobold: *explodes in a ball of fire that hurts the entire party*

Gale: ...I thought I was being facetious about the flammable...

Alisaie: Oh, fuck a bunch of this.

Gale: Wha--?

Alisaie: *Mobile Flourishes one kobold at range, which dies*

Gale: All right, but--

Alisaie: *Mobile Flourishes second kobold at range; this one lives*

Gale: Huh; you--

Alisaie: *teleports to prone kobold, stabs him to death, then Slashing Flourishes two more, taking them out*

Gale, Shadowheart, Lae'zel: ..............................

Shadowheart: What magical item gave her that much combat mobility, and where can I get one?

Lae'zel: ......I want her...

Shadowheart: Too bad; so sad. Now burn off some of that energy by killing something.

Stabnation: *ensues once again*

[purplesurveys]

1629

Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? Maybe not by a bartender but by friends, yeah. Hasn’t happened since college though; I’m super chill with my alcohol these days.

Have you ever borrowed money from your mom and lied about why you needed it? Nah I could never lie about things like that haha, given we weren’t the most well-off of families when I was growing up and for many years the money my parents made was just enough to keep us comfortable. If I didn’t have any allowance left that was on me. Have you ever flirted with a cop to get out of a ticket? Not flirt, but I have cried LOL. Surprisingly always works. In my first few weeks driving I also used my college-student and I-just-got-my-license cards to get out of tickets. A few times I’ve gotten pulled over away from my city and apparently it also works when you just say you’re not from the area and are not familiar with the traffic rules over there.

Have you ever lied during a job interview? No. Again, I am awful at lying. I also don’t wanna potentially overpromise because what if I say I can do Photoshop and they suddenly make me do visuals? Hahahaha.

Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? Nah. I also wouldn’t voluntarily get alcohol for someone under 18.

Have you ever started a rumor to ruin someone’s reputation? I’ve never started a rumor at all. People who do that must be so bored...

Have you taken any pics of yourself that you won’t want your parents to see? Yeah huh.

Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder? This is one of those situations wherein it’d be really hard to make a decision you’re likely to do, unless you’re already in it. That said, the way I see it now is I’m likely to turn a relative in if I’m not super close with them or if they’re actually a distant relative altogether. I mean...it’s murder.

Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF’s family? I don’t have a partner. Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Not me as I haven’t bumped into any car while the driver was gone, but this happened to my car while in college. I had just finished a class and was headed back to my car when there was a note on the windshield of someone admitting they had hit my car and they were willing to discuss reimbursements and whatnot. Anyway, the damage wasn’t bad (paint just got chipped a bit) so I never reached out to the dude anymore.

Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? I would never do that, not even if I were already late at a BTS concert and was struggling to find a parking spot hahaha.

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? Depends on the animal, the type of road etc. I wouldn’t stop for like, a squirrel or a mouse or a pheasant, but I’d 100% stop for a dog or cat. < Same.

Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? I do my part when I can but it’s not actively because it’s for ‘the future generation.’ I’m a little...emotionless in that regard lol.

What was the first thing you learned how to cook? That wasn’t frozen? Erm...eggs.

What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Frogs and...yeah that’s pretty much it.

Do you think there will ever be world peace? No.

Have you ever turned down a job offer? I had wanted to turn down a promotion before but didn’t really have a choice.

Do you know anyone who believes that vaccines cause autism? Not that necessarily, but my dad’s parents are deep in the disinformation echo chamber and are in the belief that vaccines can kill you, can cause heart attacks, can inevitably give you fatal allergic reactions, etc. They would never have gotten their Covid vaccine shot if not for my dad forcing them to, and they never even got their second shot and boosters. It’s a situation I’ve always felt sorry for and frustrated about.

What does the name say on your birth certificate? Just my full name lol, which I’m not sharing.

In terms of politics, do you sit on the right or the left? Left.

Out of all those blood related, immediate or other, which single person would you list as your favorite? Either my dad or my eldest cousin on my mom’s side.

Who is one you wish you didn't share blood with? I have in-laws I don’t super want to associate with, but I don’t feel this way about any blood relatives.

Generally, what genre of movies do you jump at the opportunity to see? Dramas. Not a genre per se, but classic Hollywood movies too.

Have you ever been able to pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? Yups.

If you had a work office that you would be allowed to decorate any way you want, how would you decorate it? It’d be pet-friendly, have bars for pizza and coffee, and the walls would be littered with art/paintings.

Do you know anyone who is a Native American? Nope.

What was the hardest thing you went through in your childhood? Being led to believe that your family drinking enough to get drunk every night is normal.

Have you ever had a girlfriend? Yeah.

Do you have any close friends that were adopted? I know someone who is but they aren’t a friend.

Does your mom eat meat? Yups, she does.

Was your dad ever on a sports team? Not a sports team but if I remember correctly he was part of his high school’s dance troupe or something like that. My dad is actually crazy talented and smart; he just never talks about the awesome shit he did when he was younger. I didn’t know he knew how to dance and play the guitar until I was a teenager; and I definitely did not know he had planned on taking up engineering rather than hotel and restaurant management until well into my 20s (he didn’t pursue it as he couldn’t afford the school that was known for its engineering courses).

Who has the prettiest middle name you know? I’m not sharing whose it is but I have a friend whose second name is Lorenza, which I’ve always found really pretty.

What’d be your name if you took your mom’s middle name? Her second name? Patricia.

Do you know a lot of things about the opposite sex’s body parts? Uhhhhhh not so much. We had to take it up once in like Grade 5 science but I immediately forgot most of it. I can tell you like 3-4 organs maybe, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you what each would be responsible for hahaha.

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I can’t think of anything I dislike about my name.

What’s your favourite kind of poptart? Chocolate fudge. We only get like 4 flavors imported here and that one’s my favorite. S’mores and cookies and cream are too sweet; and of course I’m never touching the strawberry variant lol.

When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? I already live in the country where I’m from.

Do you enjoy watching birth vlogs? Not really? The only birth vlogs I’ve cared to watch are high-profile people who have released their own lol like Kylie Jenner.

Do you know anyone else with your name? A few. Which country’s flag is your favorite? I don’t have a favorite.

What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? What I’d be afraid of going to any other country, I guess? Like getting scammed, kidnapped, raped, harassed, etc.

Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? I used to do this – I very distinctly remember taking a black-and-white photo of the sky in 2017 during my more s*****al days, and it stayed in my phone for years supposedly with the intent to remind me that things would get better. But all it taught me was it does just that – remind. It took me back and seemed to only taunt me that I was going to regress. So I stopped taking photos of bad experiences and, in contrast, have actually made it a point to not keep souvenirs of bad days whatsoever.

Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? If it was crying in a humorous context then yeah. I posted a photo of myself in tears (but also pulling a funny face) right after watching the music video for Jin’s The Astronaut hahaha. 

Have you ever held a newborn baby? I held one of my cousins when he was like 2 weeks old (I was 9), and very nearly dropped him while nobody was watching because he started squirming and crying. That was the first and last time I ever held a baby. Too scary.

Do you know anyone who has twins? I know several sets of twins, but not anyone around my age who has them.

Are you following in the career path of any family members? Kind of. My maternal great-grandpa and grandpa are writers, and my mom has cousins who’ve worked in media and broadcast and, by extension, in the study of law; I’ve been told the love for writing really runs in my mom’s side. What’s funny to me I guess is how the talent completely skipped over my parents as both my mom and dad ended up in the hospitality industry hahaha.

Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? Quite, yeah. My mom worked graveyard shifts for years, and my dad was already working abroad way before I even had the capacity to remember. I didn’t necessarily feel sad about it when I was a kid because I thought that was normal; but when I started hearing my friends talk about their summer family outings and how they’d have dinners at the mall every Sunday, that’s when it started to feel like my life was lacking.

Who was that best friend you ever had? Angela’s always been my BEST best friend.

Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Gee...not that I know of, at least?

Honestly, if you could have anyone in the world, who would it be? Kimi. I wish I could have had him forever.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell? All the few Taco Bells we do have in the country are too far from where I live, so I never get. But when I happen to be in those handful of areas, I always just get some kind of burrito. Have you ever streaked? Nopes.

How many city/towns have you lived in? Two – Manila, and my current one.

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Night. So much comfier to sleep then.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? I didn’t, but I did take ballet as a kid. Didn’t fare well though as my parents were immediately advised that I wasn’t cut out for the craft hahaha. I’ve shared this with friends and they always go, “That’s so harsh!” but honestly I feel like it was just right to do so. Ballet has some crazy rigid standards and it was only fair to give my parents the heads-up early on, before they’d start investing more money for what was already a lost cause.

When was the last time you really laughed? Watching Cong’s newest vlog last night.

Honestly, whose numbers do you have memorized? My sister’s and my mom’s. Do you sleep with socks on? No.

Has anyone ever told you, you were beautiful? Yeah.

What kind of house do you want? It’s gonna defeat the whole purpose of the movie but I’m honestly such a big fan of the house in Parasite LOL. Minus the [insert the part of the house that’s instrumental in the plot twist].

Would you like living on the coast? It would be nice as a vacation home; but given that living on the coast largely implies living in the province, I’d much rather stay in the city.

What would you like your generation to change? I wish they had more initiative and gave a bigger shit about their jobs. The other Gen Zers I work with will only ever do what you ask them to do, which can be so frustrating sometimes. 

Are you a sore loser? I can be but I keep it internal and just use the loss as a motivation to win or succeed next time. A 25-year-old lashing out at losing is ridiculous.

Honestly, do you enjoy arguing? Nope.

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? I had one! I had a ~photography phase when I was like 12 and my dad gave me a Nikon DSLR so I can improve at it. Turns out the skill actually belonged to my sister, who ended up using the camera throughout her time in film school many years later.

Are you a picky eater? What’s one food you refuse to eat? I’m not picky about entire foods in general; it’s just that I have very specific ways of enjoying my food, if that makes sense? I’ll rarely entirely refuse to eat a certain food, but, like, I will always remove the pickles from cheeseburgers, will always remove the hotdog bits from my spaghetti, will skip over chicken meat because all I really want is the fried chicken skin hahaha, etc.

Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I don’t have Photoshop on here and I never learned how it works.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? White. Do you use your queen right away in chess? I don’t know how to play chess.

Were you in track and field? For just one year in grade school lol yep.

Were you ever in a school talent show? Nope.

Have you thrown up in a car? Just once. I threw up on my mom’s stomach...while she was pregnant. We were on a different car than what we were usually riding, and my motion sickness that day just wanted to rear its ugly head.

Who was your first grade teacher? Her name was Merce.

Where did you go on your first airplane ride? Boracay when I was 11.

Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Does a junior bridesmaid count? It was a quirk of my mom’s best friend’s wedding and I was around 7 when it happened.

First tattoo or piercing? First and only piercings were my earlobes when I was a few months old. Don’t have tattoos.

First celebrity crush? Zac Efron.

[berry-nonnie]

In character you say?

"OH! You're going to bake a cake?! Yippee! I love baking!"

"Um, so first thing is the wet and dry ingredients don't get mixed at the same time. Actually, I don't think that matters all that much, it just sounds silly. I mean, they go into the same pan anyways."

"Wait, what kind of cake are we talking about? It's valentine's day, so I think red velvet is the obvious choice but that's basically just a chocolate cake with a load of red food color in it. Are you allergic to red dyes?"

"Okay, so we need flour, sugar, cocoa power, salt, butter, eggs, vanilla, milk, and baking soda. Am I missing anything? Hmm... oh yeah! Vegetable oil and the red food coloring. We should have everything now, I'm pretty sure. Just make sure the butter is room temp."

"The oven needs to be pre-heated while we're mixing everything together, I'm pretty sure it just needs to be 350°F. Get a bowl big enough to mix everything in."

"Okay, into the bowl goes the dry ingredients first. How much did we need again? One sec, I need to think about it, it's been a while since I've baked a cake."

"Um, I'm pretty sure it was 3 cups of flour, 2 cups of sugar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa. Oh, I always forget how much baking soda is needed. Or was it baking powder? What's even the difference? Huh? Sorry, um, I think like 1/4 a teaspoon of salt and 1/2 a teaspoon of baking soda??"

"Yeah, and then you mix it all together. Now 1/2 a cup of butter, which is just a stick, and 4 eggs need to be mixed in too. Oh! And 1 cup of vegetable oil. Once all that is mixed together, we need to add in the cup of milk and the red dye. It needs to be mixed well, so no clumps or anything."

"That's it for the batter, I'm pretty sure. Just gotta pour it into a greased pan and bake it for... 30 minutesss, I think? Yeah, 30 minutes sounds right."

ANONS!

I'm writing something for Valentines day and I need some assistance.

In-character, tell me how to bake a cake. Bonus points the more fucked-up the instructions are. Keep in mind🪑 WILL take the instructions as literally as they can.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Make a Move

➣ Pairing/genre: roommate!Hobi x reader

➣ Premise: You thought ‘Hope’ was a girl, but looking at the hot dude currently claiming to be your roommate, you might be wrong.

➣ warnings/tags: pure fluff, reader gets a lil sick for a minute

➣ word count: 4.6k

➣ a/n: this was a commission by @hobi-gif for Army for AAPI! Thank you so much for commissioning this, I hope you enjoy it! You guys, check out ways to get involved in this awesome cause by clicking the link!

--

You look down at the application, and back up at the person standing in front of you. Down, then up.

Twice more, just to wrap your mind around the dumbest mistake you’ve ever made.

“Umm…Hope?”

The man fidgeting nervously before you manages a bright smile. “Yep. That’s me!”

Again, you stare down at the application. “I…you’re the one moving in?”

Hoisting the heavy-looking box higher in his arms, the man – Hope if he’s to be believed, offers a strained nod. “Yeah, it’s sort of a nickname…Hoseok. I’m Hoseok.” He looks around, poking his head through the doorway to your small apartment. “Mind if I set this down? It’s kinda heavy…”

You step aside in a daze, watching as Hoseok sweeps inside and sets the box down with a thud on the counter. A moment later another head is peeking inside before carrying in another box.

“Hey, I’m assuming you’re one of the roommates?” The newcomer asks, sweeping some of his ashen-blond hair off his forehead and extending a hand out to you. You take it with some trepidation.

“I am. And you’re Hoseok’s friend?”

“Namjoon. Just stopping in with a few of his things. Oh,” Namjoon waits until Hoseok walks back outside before continuing, speaking to you in a hushed tone. “I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for letting him move in. Ever since our landlord found out we had seven people instead of six, it’s been hard trying to find a place but Hoseok was adamant he be the one to move out. Did want to separate the others-”

“Wait, woah,” you hold up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “Seven? Seven people living in one tiny apartment?”

Namjoon tilts his head to one side, brows furrowed. “He didn’t tell you? That’s why he moved out; someone had to. Our apartment has a six person limit, so once our landlord found out Hoseok volunteered to be the one to move out.”

It appears that Hoseok hasn’t told you a lot of things.

“I…no, he didn’t mention that.”

Namjoon moves on, unphased. “Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for taking him on. It’s nearly impossible to find a place this time of year, and we weren’t sure if you would be chill with having a male roommate, but it really means the world. This way he can stay close to us-”

“Close?”

“Yeah, we live just a few blocks away. He didn’t say that?”

At that moment Hoseok walks through the door, still wearing that sheepish smile that he directs at you.

“No. He must have forgotten to mention that, too.”

--

           Once Namjoon has left and Hoseok gets into organizing all of his things, you set up camp on the couch. Book in hand, you can’t help but assess your new roommate.

           A part of you wants to get rid of him, but another part of you is interested to see what might unfold from this strange situation. You’ve never had a male roommate before, and if Namjoon is any representative for what this man’s friends look like…

           You suppose it’s not too much of a pain to allow Jung Hoseok to stick around for a little while.

           Hoseok hums to himself, occasionally making little sound effects as he puts a bowl away or opens a cupboard. Every once in a while he’ll ask you a question, like, “Is this spot free to use?” or ��Are you allergic to anything?”

           You’re nearly heading to bed when Hoseok knocks softly on your door. Your rooms are on opposite ends of the apartment, something you find yourself being extremely grateful for tonight. The knowledge that a stranger is chilling in your apartment is enough to have you feeling a little worried.

           It’s simple. Sure, Hoseok seems nice enough. Friendly even. But he’s too attractive to be normal.

           “What’s up?” You ask, opening your bedroom door to see Hoseok with his arms full of shampoo and other shower items.

           Despite the large bottle of Pantene blocking his chest, it’s easy to tell that he doesn’t have a shirt on beneath his robe.

           Indeed, the sight before you is enough to have you clutching the doorframe until your knuckles are white in an effort to not gape.

           Wearing nothing but basketball shorts and fluffy white robe, Hoseok shuffles from one foot to the other. “Oh, I was just wondering if you had any preference about where I put my things in the bathroom. You know, if the left side is specifically yours or something like that.”

           “Huh?” You shake your head, forcing yourself to only look at his eyes. That turns out to be even worse, in some weird twisted way. “Oh, yeah. Well, I tend to put most of my stuff on the left side of the vanity. But you can put your stuff wherever. I’m not worried about that.”

           Hoseok nods, taking a step back. He bids you a quiet goodnight before retreating back down the hallway.

           A few seconds pass as you remain in your doorway, thinking hard.

           No, you’re not worried about sharing a drawer in the bathroom or putting the A/C on a lower setting, as he asked you about earlier.

           You’re just worried about the fact that you’ve never found a pair of basketball shorts more attractive than just now.

           Basketball shorts paired with nothing but a robe?

           “This is gonna be great,” you mumble to yourself, closing your door and leaning against it. Only when you hear the sound of the shower going do you allow yourself to relax. “I’m gonna die.”

--

2 weeks in

           “I’m headed to the store, you need anything?”

           You pause, assessing the contents of the fridge. “Um…eggs?”

           It’s not very often the two of you are in the apartment at the same time, your schedule being polar opposites. However, it’s always relatively friendly. Still a little awkward, but always cordial.

           Hoseok – or Hobi, as he’s repeatedly invited you to call him – scans his little list. “Already on the list. Anything else?”

           “You already put eggs on the list? Like, for me?” The two of you by no means share groceries.

           Hobi shrugs. “Yeah. I figured you were nearly out since you eat them like every morning.”

           “Hey, not every morning-”

           “Every weekday morning.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Tell me I’m wrong. I’ll wait.”

           You groan. “Yah, just go. I’ll text you if I need anything.” Turning back to the fridge, you utter out, “Annoying little-”

           “What was that?”

           “Nothing!”

           You wait until you hear the door close to let out a sigh. “Huh.” You didn’t even realize that he would notice those kinds of things. It’s a strange feeling, having someone notice even the most mundane parts of your routine.

           You…like it?

           Opening up a few of the cupboards, you realize that you’re nearly out of bread. You grab your phone, pulling up Hobi’s contact and calling him. He picks up after a couple of rings.

           “Hey, did you remember something else?”

           “Yeah, would you mind picking up some bread, too?”

           “Oh, good one. Um…” you can hear him moving around, and you swear you hear the click of a pen before he speaks up again. “Wheat, right?”

           Again, that strange feeling stirs in your chest. “Right.”

--

2 months in

           “I’ve never met anyone as obsessed with skincare as you.”

           Hobi chuckles darkly, beginning to apply his night mask to the other side of his face. “I doubt you’ve ever met anyone with such oily skin before, either.”

           You lean up against the doorframe, resting your head against the side of the door. Hobi continues applying the crème, looking utterly focused on the task. His forehead scrunches up in little lines as he looks up, rubbing underneath his eyes.

           If you’re being completely honest, it’s adorable.

           To put the icing on the cake, he begins humming to himself and leaning in closer to the mirror, making you chew on the inside of your cheek. It’s horrible enough that he has to be wildly endearing, but does he really have to be so cute?

           It’s exhausting.

           “It smells good,” you sigh out, eyes drifting shut. Hobi’s good looks isn’t the only thing that’s been exhausting to you lately. School is trying its best to wreck you and you hate to admit that it’s doing a great job of it.

           “You want some?”

           Eyes fluttering open at his question, you furrow your brows. Hobi is looking at you in the mirror, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He squeezes out a bit of the night mask onto his finger, turning to you.

           “You already washed your face, right?”

           “Mm.”

           “Good,” he nods more to himself than to you. “Close your eyes.”

           Giving him a distrustful look, you realize that you’re too tired to bother bickering with him at the moment. Instead, you close your eyes and hold your breath.

           A moment later the cool feeling of Hobi’s fingers dabbing the cream on the tip of your nose. He repeats the action all over your face, his other hand coming to cup your chin as his thumb absentmindedly traces your jaw.

           You suddenly feel extremely off balance, swaying on your feet. Hands shooting out to steady yourself, you instinctively cling to the front of Hobi’s sweatshirt. He chuckles lowly, making you tighten your grip.

           “Don’t fall over,” he mumbles, beginning to rub the night mask into your skin.

           You don’t say anything, settling for an annoyed huff. After a moment, Hobi takes up humming the same tune he was before. The two of you settle into a comfortable daze, your shoulders relaxing as the seconds tick by.

           “You know,” Hobi muses as he switches to your right cheek. “We’re pretty good roommates. Don’t you think?”

           “Mm. I’m still angry you put ‘Hope’ on your application, though. That was a dirty move.”

           Hobi’s laughter has you opening your eyes just to catch the expression of happiness he’s sure to be wearing. Sure enough, his head is thrown back and his heart-shaped smile in on display, the sight tugging at the corners of your lips.

           Catching your eye, Hobi smirks. “How can I ever make it up to you?”

           You purse your lips, melting a little at the concentrated pout that forms as Hobi resumes applying the night mask. He’s moved up to your forehead now, making your eyes drift shut again.

           “I vote you make me French Toast one of these weekends.”

           “Oh, and that’ll solve it?”

           “No, but it’s a start.”

           He chuckles quietly, pausing and then tapping lightly against your cheek. “All done.”

           Opening your eyes, you see the slightly confused look in Hobi’s eyes as he squints down at you. “What?”

           He blinks. “What?”

           You nod at him, “You look confused or something.”

           “Oh.”

           When he doesn’t answer after a long moment, you step back into the hallway. “Alright…I’m heading to bed. Thanks, Hobi.”

           His brows are furrowed as he turns back to the mirror, the confusion only growing. “Night.”

--

3 months in

You’ve quickly come to learn that there are pros and cons to having Hoseok as your roommate.

           One very strong pro is the fact that he’s a clean freak. You swear you haven’t had to worry about vacuuming for the past three months, he always beats you to it.

           “What are you doing?”

           He pauses mid-fold, eyes wide as he looks up at you. “…folding.”

           “My laundry?”

           He glances down at the shirt in his hands as though just realizing that these are your clothes. “I…yeah. Yeah, I am. It’s just, you left your basket out here by the couch so I figured I might as well fold it and put it away if you’re gonna leave it out here.”

           The passive aggressive tone in his voice rolls off your shoulders, knowing that he didn’t intend it that way. It’s obvious to tell that something is on his mind as he continues to you’re your shirt and place it atop a neat pile beside him.

You find yourself sitting cross-legged across from him and silently joining in on the impromptu folding party. Once you finish, Hobi clears his throat and avoids eye contact with you.

           Perhaps it has to do with the fact that he accidentally grabbed the same pair of lacy black underwear at the same time as you, which ensued in an awkward match of tug-of-war that you quickly won once he realized what he was holding.

           “So, the guys are doing a thing tonight.”

           You blink, pulling the folded laundry toward you and getting up. “…ok.”

           Hobi’s face lights up in a grin, and he jumps to his feet. “Really? You’ll come?”

           Perhaps it’s the utter joy you see in his eyes or the way he’s currently shaking your shoulders and causing the socks on the top of your pile to tumble to the ground, but you burst out laughing.

           “Hoseok!” You shout through your laughter. “You didn’t even invite me!”

           He immediately stops shaking you after that, scrambling for some form of a response. Swiping one of the pairs of socks that slipped to the ground, he kneels down on one knee and looks up at you with a giddy grin.

           “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to visit my friends tonight?” With no shortage of sound effects, he offers up the socks as though proposing to you with a priceless diamond ring.

           “You’re an idiot.”

           Hoseok’s smile only grows. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

--

           Hobi’s light knock on your door goes unnoticed as you slumber on, completely dead to the world. After you had put your laundry away, you felt a wave of exhaustion overtake you.

           He knocks again, and this time you rouse just enough to grunt out something incoherent. He slowly opens the door, poking his head inside.

           “You still gonna come with me, sleepyhead?”

           His chipper voice makes you wince, your head pounding. “Mm, jus gimme…” you close your eyes again as the dull light filtering in through your blinds is enough to send you spinning. “…a sec.”

           It’s quiet for a moment, and you think that Hobi must have left. A second later, however, you hear him padding across your floor.

           “Are you sick?” He answers his own question as he places his hand against your forehead. “Oh, jagiya, you’re burning up.”

           The pet name has your temperature rising a bit more. “Mm fine.”

           Hobi chuckles softly, taking care to be quiet. “Have you eaten? Where’s your water bottle?” They’re all rhetorical questions apparently, because moments later he’s scooping your water bottle off the floor and tiptoeing back out of your room.

           After what feels like hours later, Hobi sidles back into your room with a full water bottle, some soup he must have microwaved, and another glass of liquid. It’s steaming, the scent making you scrunch up your nose in distaste.

           “What…” you can hardly muster up the energy to finish your sentence. Hobi perches on the edge of your bed, carefully placing everything on your nightstand.

           “It’s medicine. Drink it, and it’ll help. But first you need to sit up.”

           Easier said than done. Your body is exhausted, and your arms shake a bit as you attempt to scoot back against the headboard. Cheeks burning a brighter red, Hobi thankfully doesn’t comment on it. He just patiently readjusts your pillows and tucks your hair behind your ears with meticulous movements that have you smiling softly.

           “Ok,” he sighs out once that’s been taken care of. “Now, eat some soup…” his words trail off as he hands the bowl off to you. He watches as you bring the spoon to your lips, mumbling, “Blow, it’s hot.”

           Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you follow his instructions. Once you’ve eaten over half of the soup and feel too full to continue, he hands you the steaming cup that has you scrunching your nose up all over again.

           “C’mon,” he urges, “my mom used to give this stuff to me all the time when I was a kid. It works like a charm, promise.”

           “Mhm.”

           “What?” He crosses his arms, frowning. “You don’t believe me?”

           You shrug, mindful of the full contents of the glass. “It’s just easier said than done, that’s all.”

           “Here, I’ll take a sip to show you that’s it’s not bad!” Reaching for the cup, you burst out into a fit of laughter as Hobi stares down at the liquid with unabashed terror. He clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “Right…just one sip…”

           Blowing across the surface carefully, he sacrifices his tastebuds. The instant he swallows, he thrusts the cup back into your hands and dives off the bed. “Ach!” He rushes out of the room, no doubt heading for the kitchen. Indeed, a moment later you hear the faucet running and wonder if he just decided to shove his head under the running water instead of wasting time on grabbing a cup from the cupboard.

           With your water bottle on hand, you attempt to chug the medicine. It’s horrid, making you gag, but you continue until the contents are drained. You’ve just managed to drink some water to rid yourself of the lingering taste when you hear Hobi’s phone ring.

           “Hey hyung,” he’s still in the kitchen, but you can hear him clearly. “Oh, yeah…I don’t think we’re gonna make it. No, it’s not that, she said she’d come.”

           You freeze, holding the still-warm cup close to your chest. For some reason, your stomach does a little flip when you hear the way Hobi’s tone changes as he speaks about you. It’s infinitely softer, something you don’t recall hearing before.

           “She took a nap and woke up with a fever-” he pauses. “Yeah, I just gave her medicine. But she needs to rest. She’s exhausted. What? Ugh, really Jin? I’m not-” The sound of Hobi shuffling about has you leaning closer to the open door, trying to hear what he’s saying. His voice is much quieter when he speaks next, but you can still hear bits and pieces of what he’s saying. “I can’t just make a move on her while she’s sick, that’s unethical!”

           Clapping a hand over your mouth before he can hear you snort, your eyes widen. Make a move?

           On you?

           “Yah, quit it. Tell everyone I say hey, I’ve gotta go.” Again there’s a pause, quickly followed by an annoyed hiss. “See, this is why I never tell you anything.”

           He quickly says his goodbyes after that, and you scramble to appear normal despite your pounding heart. You hear Hobi’s sigh from the kitchen, and you wish you could know what he was thinking.

           “Alright,” Hobi calls, heading back into your room. The second he enters you feel as though you’re seeing him for the first time. “Let’s get it- oh, you already finished it?”

           You blink, suddenly blinded by the sight of his adoring smile. As he settles down on the edge of your bed, you manage a feeble nod.

           “Jagi,” again with the pet name, “you look exhausted. Let me take the dishes and how about you go back to sleep?”

           Despite the fact that you literally live in the same apartment, the thought of Hobi leaving you alone in your room has you stalling. “Uh, who called?”

           There’s a flicker of panic that’s quickly replaced with an easy smile. “Jin hyung, he was wondering where we were. Don’t worry, I told him we weren’t gonna be able to make it.”

           You’ve heard plenty about Jin – truthfully about all of Hobi’s friends. You were excited to meet them tonight, after hearing so many stories.

           “I’m sorry,” you frown, still clinging to your glass. “You can still go, if you want.”

           Hobi looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Why would I…? No, I’ll stay here with you. Can’t leave a sickie on their own, you know that.”

           Groaning, roll your eyes. “I feel like an idiot.”

“If you’re an idiot, I’m an idiot.”

You snort, setting your glass down before you cause an accident. “Isn’t it, ‘if you’re a bird, I’m a bird’?”

Hoseok shrugs, a smile playing on his lips. “Close enough.”

He holds your gaze for a few seconds too long, but neither one of you look away first. Instead you bunch up your blankets in your fists and offer him a crooked smile. “Thanks, Hobi.”

His eyes linger on your smile, his lips mirroring it. “Anytime.”

--

4 months in

           Nothing has changed, and yet everything has.

           Ever since you fell ill, you’ve been jumpy. Anytime Hobi accidentally brushes up against you as he reaches for something in the kitchen, whenever he knocks on your door, even when he calls you from the grocery store. It all makes you jump and sends your heart racing.

           “You’re so dramatic.”

           You look up at Yuri, your most brutally honest friend. “…ouch?”

           She shakes her head, sinking down lower in her seat across from you. You keep boxing up your leftover food to take home, wondering if Hobi would like it.

           “I mean it. You’ve been freaking out about this guy for over a month now without doing anything about it.”

           You pause, looking at Yuri with wide, pleading eyes. “What am I supposed to do? He’s my roommate!”

           “So what? Your lease is up in a few weeks, isn’t it? If it backfires, just move out.”

           You snort. “Easier said than done. I can’t just up and move whenever I like, you know.”

           “You can’t or you don’t want to?”

           “Shut up.”

           “I refuse. Now,” Yuri checks the time on her phone. “tell me what you like about him.”

           “I never said-” you sputter, but Yuri holds up a hand and cuts you off.

           “Actions speak louder than words. He’s literally your background on your home screen.”

           Ok, that sounds like a bit much. It’s true, though. A week ago Hobi finally got to take you out to meet his friends. Together you went on a midnight hike (something you’d honestly never do again) and found a breathtaking view at the top. His friends, specifically Jimin and Taehyung, had practically shoved the two of you together for an impromptu photoshoot under the night sky.

           The photos are a little blurry and dark, but you love them. Enough to add one as your background. “But you can’t actually see us in the picture, it’s just pretty-”

           “Sure it is. You two make a cute couple.”

           “W-we do?”

           Yuri jumps up, clapping her hands and startling a couple just a few tables down. “Aha! See, you do have feelings for him!”

           “Ok, ok,” you hold up your hands in surrender. “Just sit down.”

           Once she’s taken her seat again and apologized loud enough for the couple she scared to hear her, you lean in close over the table. She rubs her hands together, looking every bit the scheming friend she is.

           “Alright, let’s plot, shall we?”

--

           Hobi checks the window for the eighth time in under five minutes, brushing the curtains aside to see if your car is in the lot yet. It’s not.

           “C’mon Jung,” he rolls his neck, bouncing on his feet. “Calm down. Keep it chill. Everything’s fine.”

           Everything is not fine.

           Things haven’t been fine for months now, something he’s been able to deny to an impressive level. Last weeks, however, the lie came to an end.

           His friends loved you. Like, ranted and raved about how funny and cool you were until he was worried he needed to organize an intervention. Then, the icing on the cake.

           Yoongi had grabbed him while you were hiking back down, sandwiched between Jin and Jungkook. He nodded down at you, turning a knowing eye to Hobi.

           “So…when’s that gonna happen?”

           Hobi played dumb, frowning at Yoongi. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

           “Hoseok, c’mon.”

           You laughed at Taehyung, who jogged up ahead. He was quickly joined by Jungkook. Hobi’s pretty sure his heart stopped beating as you turned around, searching for him. Once your eyes found his, your smile widened.

           Yoongi laughed at his side. “You’re whipped, and you don’t even realize it.”

           Indeed he was. Dangerously so, if he was going off of the amount of times he’s knocked on your door to ask you out only to change his story at the very last moment to ask you something stupid instead. You never seemed to mind, just laughing at his strange questions and teasing him mercilessly.

           “Ok,” Hobi whispers to himself, still bouncing on the balls of his feet. “You’ve got this. Just rip it off like a Band-Aid. Quick and to the point.” He tilts his head to one side. “But not the painful part. No pain.”

           He’s in the middle of his pep talk when the sound of your key in the lock alerts him to your return. Hobi is standing in the middle of the living room, looking like an idiot. Naturally, he shoves his hands in his pockets. Yeah, that makes him look less like an idiot.

           The second the door opens and you step into the apartment, every thought eddies out of Hobi’s mind.

           You freeze, not expecting Hobi to be standing in the middle of the living room impersonating a lamp when you got home.

           “Hi…?” Hobi swallows at the sound of your voice, watching your every move as you slowly lift up the bag of leftovers. “I brought home leftovers if you want some…”

           “I need you to go out with me.”

           Now you’re really frozen, staring up at Hobi as his eyes widen at his own words.

           “What? What for?”

           “For me.”

           You slowly close the door behind you, setting the food down on the counter before turning to face Hobi again. “For you?”

           He nods, a panicked look in his eyes. “Yes. For me.”

           “Hobi, I don’t understand. Do you need a plus one or something for an event? Is that what it is?”

           Removing his hands from his pockets and taking a step towards you, Hobi shakes his head. “What? No, I need- I need you.”

            It’s a good thing you already set the food down. “Me?” You squeak out, looking your roommate up and down as he takes another step.

           “Us.”

           Clearly there’s been a communication error. Hobi brushes his hair back from his face, chewing on his bottom lip before coming to a stop before you.

           “Us,” he repeats, voice low. “I need us to be a thing.”

           “O-oh.” That’s all you can manage as you try to recall if Hobi has ever looked at you like this before. It’s hard to contain yourself when you realize that he has, however he’s always been quick to mask it with something else. Or, more often than not, a silly question.

           “Will- can you…” he stops, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Without his gaze on you, you gain a bit of courage and raise a hand to cup his cheek. His eyes fly open, and he offers you a shy smile. “Do you want to go out with me? On a date?”

           Craning your neck, you hold your breath and plant a kiss on his cheek. You delight in the way he instantly flushes, garnering more courage by the second.

           “Yes.” Then you arch a brow. “I have one condition, though.”

           Hobi’s eyes are half closed as he looks down at you, appearing as though he’s slipped into some euphoric realm. “Hmm, anything.”

           “I demand French Toast.”

  ��        Dissolving into a fit of laughter, Hobi sinks to the ground, taking you down with him. You protest, but not too much. Holding you tightly, Hobi subsides in his laughter enough to wink down at you. “French Toast it is.”

--

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© alpacaparkaseok

[lazuli-bloom]

Interview of Nibble under the cut

Who are you?

Well, ain't that an interesting question? I'm a lot of different things; a pest, a devil, a free spirit, but if yer wanting a name, ya can call me Nibble.

And what exactly are you?

Easy. I'm a being from an alternate dimension chock full of other kinds of digital monsters. Or to keep it simple, I'm a digimon from the digital world. Impmon, if ya want to be more specific.

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

It wasn't on purpose, I can tell you that! I'll spare ya the details, but I was laying low in some not-so-abandoned ruins. While I was checking out this huge door in some big empty room, a Skull Greymon woke up and set its sights on little old me. It spewed out an awful miasma, and while I was choking on that it geared up to take a shot at me. I dodged out of the way just in time, and the attack blew open the door. I wasn't going to hang around for another attack, so I bolted through the door. It gets really blurry from there, but when I came to, I was up on Frosted Peak and had reverted back to that little ball of fluff, Yaamon.

Why were you laying low in some ruins?

The place was rumored to be cursed, so nobody went there. Something about being destroyed by what lurks there. Sounded like as good a spot as any for a little devil like me to not get bothered by all the holy types patrolling the area. Not sure why the rumors weren't more specific though, knowing a Skull Greymon was there would have been nice.

What's a “Skull Greymon”?

A nasty digimon ya don't want to mess with. Imagine a big mean dinosaur with sharp claws and sharper teeth, as big as three barns tall. Now imagine it's so focused on combat and fighting, that drive for destruction is the only thing keeping it together as its body rots away to nothing but bone. Then strap a powerful missile to its spine. THAT'S Skull Greymon. I was lucky to get out of there when I did.

How did you get to Snaxburg?

Lizbert found me. She chased some Bugsnak into the bush I woke up in. I thought it was just a big cherry and ate it without thinking. It tasted great, but everything started to hurt a minute later. I stumbled out of the bush doubling over in pain and right into her trap. I tried to break out, to scream, but I was too worn out to do much. By the time she pulled me out from her bag, we were in Snaxburg, and I was in a panicked frenzy. I bit her, spat ink at her and Eggabell, and ended up wrecking some of their hut while trying to hide. Some of Eggabell's medical supplies landed on me and cut me up. It took a while, but I eventually calmed down and let Egg patch me up. I got handed off to Gramble the next day since I was still too weak to put up much of a fight.

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

Curious little things, huh? I'll admit the one that I did eat tasted good, but the pain I felt right after doesn't make me want to try eating any more. Plus seeing what happens to you guy's limbs after eating them, the idea of eating Bugsnax myself makes my skin crawl.

Do you think you might be allergic to Bugsnax as well?

Eh, maybe? Suppose it's possible. Either that or Bugsnax effect Digimon differently. I didn't get sick after eating one so much as it felt like... I don't know, like it was trying to alter my data? Which I guess it kinda was given the side effects you Grumpuses have after eating them. Regardless, I don't plan on eating any more. Even without the pain, I don't think Gramble would be to happy if I added Bugsnax to my diet.

Why did you leave town?

Cause Gramble took me with him when he left. When that fight broke out and Wambus and Gramble were at each other's throats, I saw red. I bit Wambus's leg as hard as I could. I may have been a ball of fluff, but I got sharp teeth and a heck of a bite. Still, he managed to shake me off and kick me pretty hard in retaliation. Which, was fair, cause I would have bit him again. Anyway, Gramble scooped me up and rounded up what few Bugsnax he had left and we left for the beach that night. Gramble fussed over me for a while after that... Part of me wishes I spoke up then and let him know how much I appreciated him.

Why did you wait so long before letting everyone know you could speak?

Well, for a while, I couldn't. That Skull Greymon's miasma did a number on my voice. Then it... just seemed easier to keep quiet. No one here knew what I was. I wasn't some low life devil. I was just, Nibble, this weird little furball that hung around Gramble and messed with Wambus and Floofty on occasion. But the secret's out now, and it's only a matter of time before things go south.

What do you mean?

No body wants to have a devil hanging around. I'll out stay my welcome sooner or later... *Sigh* Story of my life.

Any info on Lizbert?

For someone that I bit several times and spat ink at, she was surprisingly kind to me. She came over the first couple of days to try and figure what I was, since Bugsnax don't have fur or teeth. But I can't say much more, Liz was gone a lot and I mostly stayed close to the barn during the day.

And what about at night?

I went out. I always feel more comfortable in the dark. I could swipe more sauce from Wambus's garden and go around town freely since almost everyone was asleep. Floofty would be the only one still awake when I was out. They were fun to prank since they didn’t think I had the intelligence to do anything. Word of advice, never underestimate an opponent unless ya want to get caught off-guard.

What happened to Lizbert?

I couldn't say for sure. Sometimes I think I've picked up on her scent, but it's only ever Bugsnax. She's a strong adventuring type, and she can take care of herself. But I know firsthand how harsh the wilderness can be.

I think that's everything. Thanks for your time.

No problem. Honestly, it's nice to get to talk after so long. I just wish I could offer more help with finding Liz... I'm not sure I'd even be here right now if it wasn't for her.

[cocogoat-remade]

things i am allergic to that always makes people go HUH ?? : eggs , pork

[demonogeny]

I love this idea! Brood parasites are interesting. I imagine in the tribes where this happens there being also curious measures taken against it, little things like cover the eggs in certain furs or draw certain symbols on with specific spices/pigments, and maybe even to avoid laying eggs in specific dates and seasons. That would make it sound more like superstition to industrialists when it could actually be because these fursare from animals the creatures are afraid of, compounds they are allergic to and the conditions in which this species lays eggs, making it all true and foolishly dismissed.

And so do these creatures once grown attack the Mudokons / are attacked by them or are they simply raised by them? Like huh I guess I got one more mouth to feed now :/

Oddworld species idea: creature whose mothers lay their eggs among Mudokon egg clutches like how Cuckoos and other parasitic birds lay thier eggs in bird nests. the young superficially resemble Mudokons in their baby/adolescent/teenage stage until adulthood where they metamorphisize into a far larger, stronger and more messed up looking creature.