#or LET A WOMAN POSSIBLY DIE IN SURGERY WHEN THEY THINK SHE’S A POOR PERSON WITH A HEART DEFECT AND LIE TO HER ABOUT THE CHANCE OF DEATH

[laniidae-passerine]

I’m probably deeply biased because he is played by Rahul Kohli but I’m on the 4th episode of The Fall of the House of Usher and I’m finding Leo Usher significantly more sympathetic than his siblings

[allmightluver]

**bnha spoilers** I'm just sat here with renewed realisation of what All Might is going through. 40 years. /40 years/ he held and refined that power and dedicated his every waking (and sleeping if Vigilantes is anything to go by) moment towards the goal of defeating AfO and creating a society in which people could feel happy and safe. And now as it turns out AfO is still alive, society is broken and he has given a literal piece of his soul to this young boy leaving himself with only phantoms

Yes. I don’t think people quite grasp what all he’s going through.

It’s been shown recently to us that some, if not most, heroes have underlying ambitions in becoming a hero. Whether for money, glory, fame, popularity, doesn’t matter. They’re ultimately in it for themselves. Toshinori’s intentions from the beginning have been the most pure- he wanted to be a symbol that people can look to and know things will be ok. A symbol of hope. This boy was only around 14 years old when he decided this. What kind of 14 year old sees the world that clearly? Sees that people have no hope, that a veil of darkness covers them. The only thing I can think of is- Toshinori did not have a good childhood. Something had to have happened to a boy that young to stop seeing the joy in life so early, and see the world’s flaws. Truthfully, I believe he was an outcast- due to his quirklessness. Most likely an orphan, perhaps abandoned by his parents, as we’ve never seen him have any family. I do truly believe Toshinori has been alone all his life. I don’t doubt more could have happened to him as a child before he met Nana. 

Some may argue that Izuku is the same age, and therefore it shouldn’t be that hard to see why Toshinori wanted to be a hero at such a young age. BUT, Izuku had someone to look up to, ever since he was a child of four years old, to inspire him to be a hero his whole life *cough cough* All Might. Izuku also was quirkless, much like Toshinori, and an outcast because of it (hence where I assume Toshinori was much the same). But ultimately, Izuku wanted to save people because he saw his hero do it. It really wasn’t until Izuku was a bit older, has been in UA, has been on rescue missions, has seen what the heroes see, that I think he’s truly realized how dark the world really is. Toshinori didn’t have that. He didn’t have someone to inspire him as a child, someone to look up to, a hero to inspire him to help others. At that time, heroes hadn’t become as popular as they are in present times. Toshinori saw the world for what it was, on his own, at a tender age. I think that day Nana ran into this blonde hair kid, she eyed him up, noticed his scraggly form, looked into those captivating blue eyes, and saw a man who’s lived through the world’s horrors- experienced the worst it has to offer-, and wants to save everyone he can from the same fate, all in a 14 year old boy. 

Then after only a few short years with the woman he saw as his mother, she’s killed in front of him because of his own weakness- he wasn’t strong enough yet to protect her. The only other person his life, Gran Torino, literally abused him. He beat him to a pulp, taking his own emotions out on a teenager, and I doubt Toshinori said anything of it. He probably thought he deserved it. He’s still afraid of Gran Torino to this day, remembering the beatings and expecting more for his failures- even if he doesn’t know what they are surely he’s at fault for something, but he’s the only person who’s stood by his side for this long. Even while at a distance, and spouting nothing but criticisms along the way. But Toshinori had to put aside his own emotions to be that hope for everyone. He left everything he knew to go to a new country on his own, to learn how to be a hero, to be that hope for someone.

Vigilantes showed us just how hard he worked. Toshinori literally stayed awake with no sleep for days on end- 3 in the chapter I’m referencing- because people needed help, people needed saving, and no one else stepped up. He fought villains, rescued civilians, repaired damage, cleared rubble, (even accept and eat food that was against his dietary restrictions after his injury) whatever the public needed, all while draining himself further. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion because he had no help, once literally falling asleep while mid-leap across the city because he simply could go no further. 

^^These happen in succession of each other^^

No one stepped up to say “Hey, Mr. Number 1, you’ve been working hard lately. Let me help you!” No one tried to take over his position. Even the Number 2 hero, Endeavor, never tried to take some of his burden. His only goal was to try to be better than All Might in terms of power- he was never trying to be the hero that the people relied on All Might for. Everyone relied on him when things looked grim. He was the back up plan. And all of this happened before Toshinori’s injury. 

The only thing he ever wanted to do- help people- he can’t do (at least the way he’s always known how to). The ability to save people has been taken from him in the most gruesome way. He was finally able to fight the man that killed Nana, and in a rage that I’m sure echoed with all of the emotions of the previous users, he smashed that man’s head like a grape. But not without consequence. Several organs are gone. The pain is excruciating. He wears that man’s mark on his body for the rest of his life, never truly able to rid himself of the filth.

Then we have Nighteye’s betrayal. The man that helped him as a sidekick, the man that grew to be his only friend. Now some people may ask why Toshinori flipped like he did to Nighteye looking into his future when he was concerned about him making it through his injury. What I believe is Toshinori didn’t want to know when he would die (and really, who does). Now he knows he’s on a time limit, knows the clock is ticking. Time is running out to keep the world at peace, and with him as he is now, how long can this go on? 

I think the betrayal, doing something that Toshinori specifically asked him not to do, is what hurt the most. How can he trust Nighteye anymore? He already can only count on one hand the people he can trust, let alone befriend.

He’s wasted away into a skeleton, a shell of the man he used to be. He can’t over exert himself without his only lung bleeding in protest. It’s canon in the side books that he really doesn’t eat much, which isn’t good for his diet without a stomach now (he’s supposed to have several small meals a day). He is quite literally punishing himself by starving. (Granted, he doesn’t feel hunger anymore.) He’s a sick man, beyond medical help at this point. They can only stabilize him and hope for the best. For five years now he’s in constant pain, every day. He loses blood like sweat. Surely his veins are bruised and collapsed with how many times he would have needed to be hospitalized. Whether from losing too much blood, being too dehydrated or starved from “forgetting” to eat, or an organ failing as body continues to fall apart. “...even as my body rots and grows frail...” - Toshinori People are bound to stare at him as he walks down the street. A tall, willowy, skeleton with a grimace on his face and blood stains on his clothes as he coughs up more into his own hands. There would be the ones who outright ignore him when they walk by, the people who offer pitying smiles and sympathetic glances or just outright stare, and then ones who are afraid of his appearance- children screaming at the mere sight of him and running to their parents to hide from the monster. Each one is another knife in Toshinori’s side, an ache in his chest. If only they knew who I really am.

Losing Nighteye took a toll on his hero work as well. Mirai was a huge help in the past, and took care of all Toshinori’s paperwork, while also reminding him to take care of himself. Without him, Toshinori was even more buried beneath his responsibilities. Plus, now he was on a time limit. He even snapped briefly in his first meeting with Tsukauchi, accidentally revealing himself as All Might because he was under too much pressure, and telling the detective he literally couldn’t handle doing everything by himself (who graciously took over the paperwork side of things for him). 

He was living a double life now, having to lie to people left and right about who he was while in his small form, about how he became so sickly, why he was here in the first place who the heck is this skinny old guy. Surely he had multiple visits to the doctor while continuing to repair the damage done by AFO (there’s a limit to how much the body can handle at once. And things I’m sure continued to fail as time went on). Then he would be bedridden for as long as the doctors could keep him strapped to a bed, until he couldn’t take the people’s cries for help any longer, and would jump into action. (It’s also revealed he has something of a super hearing- able to hear danger- which may have been a form of danger sense of OFA that was never fully unlocked?. Either way, he surly could sense disasters happening while he could only lay and heal from his latest surgery. Those poor doctors must have had to re-stitch him several times). People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.

People blame him for not being a good teacher. He didn’t exactly have the greatest teacher himself to learn from. He’s never had to teach anyone anything, he just punches! He’s learning. And for his own credit, he’s an incredibly wise man, he has years of experience under his belt, and an intelligence score of 6/6, scoring up there with Nezu! He may not always have the right way to bring something up, but he’s doing his best. Yet even he blames himself for Izuku not being able to control his quirk better. Every time the boy hurts himself, it’s just another tally on the chalkboard of Toshinori’s failures. He himself knows the boy deserves better, better than him. Useless. Pathetic.

Then his friend from America, Dave, essentially became a villain trying to preserve Toshinori’s legacy after Toshinori told him about his injury. Dave went behind his back, threatened people, injured people (pretty sure people died), all for Toshinori’s sake. Something he didn’t want to begin with. Having to put your only other friend in jail for trying to help you surely couldn’t have been easy.

Oh, by the way? All For One isn’t dead. All Might will fight him again, publicly, have his weakened form exposed to the world, and have his own emotions toyed with as he finds out about his master’s grandson in the villain’s hands. Would Nana hate him for leaving her son alone like she’d asked, and dooming her grandchild to be raised by the greatest villain? Could he have done anything to save him? But Toshinori isn’t allowed to feel, he has to smile and push his own feelings aside once again, because there’s a villain to be fought, and only he can fight him. Despite coming out on top, he’ll have suffered severe head trauma, broken left arm, destroyed right arm, and several cuts and bruises that are sure to scar. And then, his quirk, the only thing that’s been allowing him to help people, the gift given to him that he carefully held for 40 years and molded into his own until his very consciousness was permanently carved into it, blows out like a match in the wind. And he’s done. Used up. Empty. Broken. Hollow. Alone, again.

He overhears his student, Bakugo, admit that he blames himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured, All Might wouldn’t have had to save him, and he wouldn’t have had to fight AFO. Of course Toshinori knows that’s not true, his time was about to run out anyway. It would have happened one way or another. But how can he explain to this child that he wasn’t the cause of his hero, the world’s greatest hero, fighting for his sake, bleeding for his sake, being forced into retirement to keep him safe. Every time Bakugo sees the bandages covering Toshinori’s body is another reminder of the pain and sacrifice Toshinori willingly gave to keep him safe. Toshinori wasn’t held when his mentor died. He wasn’t told it was ok to be sad, that grief and mourning was a natural process, that it takes time to heal. He wasn’t told it was ok to cry. Instead his feelings were beaten out of him as he wondered if Gran Torino blamed him for Nana’s death. He already blamed himself How then, does he comfort a child mourning for him? For what he lost.

And then he gets the call to come to the hospital. Mirai, Nighteye, his old sidekick friend, has been gravely injured, much like he himself was only a few years ago, and most likely won’t survive the night. And to his horror, Nighteye is happy to see him, smiles at him, says he doesn’t hate him for what happened, only wants Toshinori to be happy. He can’t accept that, at least let him apologize, reconcile his sins before it’s too late! But it is. Another fractured piece of his heart gone.

Of course, seeing your students beat up and their arms completely destroyed must have hurt. Instead of being able to save these kids, they’re the ones that hurt themselves to save everyone else. And if Bakugo had kept OFA, things could have been very different (especially with what we know now of OFA and people with quirks). Toshinori wasn’t mad at Izuku for transferring it away, he’d never regret choosing Izuku, and I believe he still would have stayed by Izuku and Bakugo’s side should it have stayed in Bakugo, doing whatever he could to help.

As he tells Aizawa, “I’ve decided to live,” -that statement seems so melancholy, besides obvious reasons. It sounds more like another task he has to accomplish. He didn’t die he was supposed to die with the AFO fight, and now the whole life he lived is over. The world has no use for him anymore. If not for Izuku, he’d have nothing left keeping him here. But because his boy made him promise to live, he’ll do so. Though it almost seems like he says those words with regret. “I’ve decided to live.” Not, “I’m going to live!” “Nothing can kill me!” “I won’t go down without a fight!” No. “I’ll live if I have to, only because you asked me to.” The man is obviously and outwardly depressed. He has so many things against him. No doubt has severe PTSD, anxiety, among others. Not to mention his own physical health. Every day hurts. It’s painful to be alive. Why would he torture himself if he doesn’t have to? For you, my boy. You’re the only thing keeping me here. The only light in my dark world.

He tries to help Izuku find out the previous holder’s quirks, to help his boy in any way he can now that he’s worthless, and goes days on end without sleep, running his body into the ground. He even forgets Christmas. Only to find that by giving the boy the same gift he had received, he may have just doomed him to an early death, among psychological torture (danger detection). (Granted, he really doesn’t know how everything works, and he’s afraid to talk to anyone about it). His boy could live only half a life.

It’s only been a few months since he retired, and society has fallen into shambles. People are blaming him. People are dying. He watches helplessly as his colleague fight his fight for him, and end up battered, bruised, crippled, dead. He students, his boy, battle the monster he should have killed. Children are bleeding. This shouldn’t happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is everything he worked for, everything he fought to protect, to build up, to inspire, is all for naught?! Did he live a foolish dream and doom the world? Was all the the friends he lost, tears he shed, the organs he destroyed, the pain he endures on a daily basis from the hole in his side, and the blood he continues to bleed every day, for nothing? The public, the ones he protected for so long, mourn his absence, but surely there are those among them who also blame him. The statue from his last fight in Kamino one that he never asked for was decimated in a mock of his catch phrase- the one that was supposed to give hope.

Now he can feel his own vestige speaking with Izuku in the OFA realm, even with out OFA in his own body anymore. His clock as nearly reached it’s limit, Nighteye’s prediction is due any day now. The only thing he wants is to see his boy smile at him, to give him some shred of hope. Yet the child remains unconscious, and Toshinori can’t even hold his hand from the bandages covering his arms. Will he still be able to fight? Is there any coming back from this now? Did I break him?

With all Toshinori has been through, I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen him just outright break down. Anyone, anyone, else should have crumbled under the pressure of holding up the world for 40 years alone. And instead of being able to pass it on to someone when he can no longer bear its weight, it simply falls to into the abyss. People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Wounded Love (Lady Dimitrescu/F!Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: M for mature. Blood, more blood, heavy language, seriously lots of blood. Literally the bloodiest/most detailed thing I've written. Genre: Super angst with some fluff to ease the pain. We're talking putting honey in your cup of poison to make it taste better. The ending is split, with both a happy and a sad ending. Warnings: Minor surgery (technically?) while the patient is fully awake (that's the reader, btws), blood loss, graphic depiction of a wound and how said wound is taken care of. Possible trigger for self-harm, as the reader is performing part of the surgery themselves. Also brief mention of cannibalism in the bad ending. This may very well be a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat sort of thing. Notes: While I have more medical knowledge than the average person, due to my Girl Scouts training + having a mother as a nurse, I am in no way shape or form a medical professional, and do not suggest that the methods of treatment used in this fic be taken seriously. If you find yourself seriously injured, do not attempt to replicate anything you read here. Only a portion of this is based on a real-ass incident I went through, the rest is based on a dream, and what I experienced was not what you want to do in an emergency.

{Wounded Love}

This was a mistake. Blood stains your leg, your fingers, and bruises start to form all over your exhausted body. And for what? Why had you, a tiny, fragile human, dared to pass through this damned, lycan-infested forest? Because a woman who didn’t even love you asked you to. Now you were going to die, body certain to get left out in the cold or reduced to a pile of gnawed bones. If you had more strength remaining, you might have slammed your hand into the ground in frustration, or screamed until your lungs burned from something other than frost.

But that wouldn’t get you anywhere. Wouldn’t help you get back to the castle, wouldn’t ease the racing of your heart. So you settle for the only thing that might do any good: One quick motion pulls the scarf from your neck, sending a chill down your spine that you promptly ignore. Even with shaky hands and numb fingers, your experience is enough to let you wrap the cloth around your leg, tying the ends in a knot to secure it. The pressure hurts, just not enough for you to prefer bleeding out. A test step reveals that walking is mildly more difficult now.

“I’m going to haunt her,” you muse, under your breath, tears starting to freeze at the corner of your eyes. Still, you are as quietly determined as ever, and so once more you limp down the path. Every time you put weight on your injured leg it protests harder. If not for the snow and ice covering the ground, you might have quickly searched for a walking stick. “What could be so important about this damn package? Couldn’t Doug or whatever-his-fucking-name-is deliver it? Man can practically teleport, and here I am, watching as blood loss and hypothermia race to see who can kill me first.”

Gods were you angry. Why had this happened so soon after you had settled in? Finally you had been comfortable in Castle Dimitrescu, no longer as frightened of the residents, even finding them… charming, in a way. Then the Lady of house called to you for what she claimed to be a simple errand. You had believed her, even when she explained that you would have to leave the relative safety of her home. What a fool you had been.

“What a fool she must be,” you murmur, “to think me safe here. To think I could outlast wolfmen prowling the village outskirts.” Would she even care if she saw you now? Would she be surprised, disappointed? Would she do something to change your fate? There was no reason for her to do so. It didn’t matter how much you had helped her, how much she claimed to appreciate what you did (heavy lifting, repair of clothing, massages). You were as replaceable as any other Maiden there was. And that, that was what made you have a double-take. It came to you in that moment, a thought so painful that you could not deny it was the truth. “She never thought I would survive.”

Bitterness coats your tongue, like blood in your throat, and your brain demands that you destroy your cargo, the very thing that got you sent here in the first place. You almost do it. Feet stopping, arms shrugging the carrying straps off, bloody hands taking hold of it. Tears fall, just two, and hit the package. At that moment your plan changed. This new idea would be far, far more satisfying… as long as you succeeded.

------------------------

Spite was one hell of a drug. Enough of it and you could march your warm corpse right back to the castle, fist banging on the front door with everything you had. The path had been shorter than you thought, thankfully, but it had still taken so much out of you. Now you were leaning against the door, sliding down it, unable to support your own weight. Nothing inside the castle stirred. Were they ignoring you? Was Alcina really going to let you die inches from your “home”? Fuck that, you thought.

“Alcina!” You scream, loud as you can, startling the birds in the distant trees. The word echoes around you and rattles inside your ribs. It’s not enough. “Damn it, I am seconds away from dying, get out here now so I can look you in your fucking eyes!” Something tears a little in your throat, turning the last of your words into a hellish screech, leaving you to gasp and croak in the snow. You go to wipe your tear-filled eyes with your hands, only to remember just how much blood they’re covered in.

Sobs overtake you in just a few moments. You’re blinded by tears, deafened by sorrows, and numb from all the cold. In the aching seconds before you black out, you can only barely make out the silhouette of someone rushing to your side…

------------------------

The first thing you feel when you wake up is mind searing pain. You try to jolt upwards, only to find a pair of strong, gloved hands holding you down. Someone shouts something, but you can’t make it out, and you feel another hand gently squeeze one of your own. Pained gasps escape your throat one after the other, but whatever is hurting you doesn’t stop. It takes a full minute for you to adjust enough to make sense of where you are. At last, you understand what’s being said.

“-it’s okay, shhh, please, we’re trying to help,” says none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. She’s the one holding your hand, doing her best not to hurt you with her grip, trying desperately to calm you down. One the other side of you, Cassandra is positioned to hold you down. There’s a tight-lipped scowl on her face, and her brow is furrowed, but she’s not looking at your face, but rather eying somewhere in the opposite direction. Following her gaze, you find her older sister is sitting near your injured leg, and is undeniably the source of some of your pain. In one hand she holds a bottle of alcohol (notably not the wine her family produces), the other holding a wet cloth to your wound. No wonder it stings so much.

“Shit, shit, stop,” you growl, barely getting the words out. But all anyone does is look at you. Alcina’s mouth opens to speak, only for you to cut her off. “I’ve got medical training, for the love of Mother Miranda let me help! How long have I been unconscious?” This time Bela stops, glancing at her mother for direction. The grip on your torso grows looser, with Cassandra evidently heeding your words, and you take the chance to sit up, careful not to move your leg. At this point you realize that there’s a needle of sorts in your arm, attached to a tube, which trails up into a blood bag. It’s clearly been improvised with equipment from the “wine-making” part of the castle.

“Fifteen minutes at most,” a new voice chimes, from somewhere behind you. “I got that cloth you wanted, mother, but something tells me I’m not done fetching things.” Ah, Daniela Dimitrescu. Was the whole family helping you?... Why? As much as you wanted answers, there wasn’t (currently) time for questions. Not when one glance at your leg tells you that some of your flesh is rapidly decomposing. The wound was made only an hour ago, and already it was getting deadlier than you could even process.

“I need a sharp, clean knife, a needle with thread, a glass of water, and someone needs to put a metal tool, sterilized, on the stove, right now,” you said, finding it easier to talk now that no one was cleansing your wound. Without hesitation Daniela dispersed into a cloud of insects, heading towards the kitchen, while Cassandra stood up and moved towards the stairs.

“Guess I’ll get the needle,” she said, sounding rather unenthusiastic.

“What are you planning?” Alcina asks, more concerned than you had ever heard her before. Attempting to reassure her, you manage a small smile before explaining.

“Got scratched and slobbered on by a lycan. Whatever they have, it’s infectious. If I want to save my leg, or at least have a chance at surviving, I have to take measures to reduce the likelihood of an infection,” you say. Now Alcina is slowly stroking her thumb across your hand, eyes narrowed with concern. There’s a look on her face that you can’t quite parse, something she’s not saying. For now you ignore it and continue going over your plan. “The best thing would be to amputate. The tourniquet might have helped prevent the saliva from getting further into my body- and I do mean might- but I can’t keep it on forever. Problem is… I don’t want to lose it. God, I’m terrified of that, and with what we have in the castle I… I’d be more likely to die of shock than not. So, well, forget that idea.

“I’m just going to remove the wound. By making a bigger wound. It’s crazy, I know, but this will kill me if we do nothing. It will probably kill me if we do. The technical term is some shit like ‘de-bride-ing’?... No, debridement, I think. Except normally the poor fucker getting cut open is asleep for the procedure.” By the time you’re done, Lady Dimitrescu is looking at you with horror. Yeah, you had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate the idea. “Look, if this is too much… if it’s not worth saving me, if you’d rather give me a quick death, I understand. If I were-”

“Don’t be foolish, dear. You will not die, not as long as something can be done about it,” Alcina replies, quickly, eager to stop hearing you talk about dying. It’s… strange to hear her sound so confident about saving you, even stranger to realize what she called you. As if reading your thoughts, she shifts in her seat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. Shyness didn’t suit her, and you imagined it was more about her finding the right words. When she speaks, she’s looking right at you again. “I have hesitated to tell you the truth, and now I find the world playing a cruel trick on me, trying to take that which I adore. But I don’t want to aggravate your stress right now. Please, think nothing of what I have said.”

Before you could reply, footsteps reached your ears, and soon enough Daniela returns. In one hand she holds a large pitcher of water. In the other? Several knives, of various sizes, one of which you’re pretty sure you’ve seen Cassandra playing with before. As soon as you see her your face lights up, glad to be able to start the procedure.

“Oh thank fuck- or, I mean, thank you, Lady Daniela,” you stutter, reaching out as she offers you the items. Thankfully Bela had already made room on the table at your side, where she had set the bottle of alcohol down. For a moment you had forgotten that she was there. Had she already known about her mother’s feelings? Based on her lack of reaction, you could only assume that she was well aware. “I’m gonna scream, B-T-dubs. Just, uh, cover your ears?” You offer, already holding your chosen knife (big enough to be effective, small enough to offer precision).

“So… you’re going to do this yourself? Didn’t think you had it in you, red. Try not to cut anything important. Wouldn’t want to have to clean that mess up,” Daniela teases. As soon as she’s finished she has to shift into a swarm, as Bela flat out throws a knife at her. For a moment you freeze, watching as Alcina rises to her full height, staring her eldest daughter down. Behind her, Daniela reforms, clearly using her mother as a shield. “I was just trying to relieve the tension, jeez. It’s like you think she’s already dead.”

“Don’t speak another word!” Alcina snaps, sending a frightening stare towards Daniela. You cough, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Meanwhile Bela is pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers, clearly tired of dealing with her sister’s sense of humor. “No one will speak a word until this is finished, unless my dear needs something, understood?” Both the girls nod at that, neither feeling a need to risk any further ire.

“I’m just going to start working now,” you awkwardly chime, taking a deep breath before leaning in towards your injured leg. On closer inspection you can see a strange, dark residue in the wound. They’re specks, scattered along the length of it, and they seem more common the closer you look to the gash’s center. Gross, you think. Half curious, half checking for legitimate reasons, you bring your other hand to the cut and gently spread both sides apart. It hurts like hell, and you have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from screaming. But sure enough, the residue is practically solid at the deepest point of the wound. “Those lycans really should be on leashes.”

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Daniela exchange looks with Bela, but neither of them disobey their mother (yet). Shaking the thought away, you finally get to the brunt of the task at hand. Your hand moves slowly, reluctant to inflict such damage against its own body. As soon as the tip of the knife touches your skin, you start to doubt your ability to do this. It takes looking at Alcina, seeing the way she watches you with equal parts concern and tenderness, to remind you why you’re doing this. Death just wasn’t something you could accept right now; not after what she had said, what she had implied.

The knife is fantastically sharp. Hardly any pressure is needed before your flesh gives away, cells letting go of their neighbors like it was a casual affair. You start at the left side of your injury, digging down a little, trying to only go as deep as you needed to. Tears formed in your eyes but you quickly blinked them away. As the first of many screams leaves your mouth, you turn and twist the knife, cutting to the right, then up. Like scooping the seeds out of a pumpkin. Fresh blood springs from the wound, starting to fill up the crevice. Quickly you discard the skin you removed by tossing it into the same bowl that Bela had put a bloody towel in earlier.

“Yes,” you shudder through gritted teeth, “this hurts so fucking bad. No, I don’t need someone to take over yet.” At this point neither of the present sisters are looking at you, seeming oddly uncomfortable at the sight of you cut up like this. Hadn’t they done worse to your fellow Maidens?... Whatever, the thought couldn’t last long when you still had work to do.

Next you take a fresh, damp cloth and dab at your injury, ignoring how it throbbed beneath your touch. Then you resumed cutting, forced to press the knife deeper in order to remove the spreading residue. If you had been a scientist, this would have been utterly fascinating to observe. Whatever had been in the lycan’s saliva was slowly eating at your flesh, but not outright dissolving it. No, it simply left the skin where it was, but killed and rapidly broke it down. Yes, it would have been fascinating, if not for the fact that there was a chance you wouldn’t be able to outpace the bacteria.

With this in mind you force yourself to hold in your next scream, hoping to make it easier for you to focus. The knife continued to cut, going lower, setting nerves alight as it did. Your vision starts to blur, and for a few seconds you think you’re going to black out. Someone says something you don’t hear, and then suddenly there’s a hand on top of your own. When your vision clears you see Bela is responsible, her grip keeping you from dropping the knife. She doesn’t let go until you give her a clear nod. Even then, she seems reluctant to let you continue.

Around this time is when Cassandra returns. Her footsteps catch your attention (it’s your understanding that carrying objects is much harder in swarm mode), and you spare her a quick glance before getting back to work. A few moments later she’s placing a set of needles and a long spool of thread next to you. Ironically, they’re the same tools that you’ve used to repair and adjust Alcina’s dresses over the past year. Hopefully they work just as well on flesh, you think. Your next thoughts are canceled out by unbelievable pain. More cries leave your lips, and your hand starts shaking. Panic is settling in fast, your movements getting sharper, leading you to make a brash decision: Time to care less about precision and more about speed.

“Distract me, please,” you gasp between grunts. No one responds at first, and you know they need clarification. Speaking is getting harder by the second, but you do your best. “Brain can’t process many stimulants, same time. Just- fuck- trace skin around wound, touch hair, anything.” Somewhere between your semi-broken sentences and screams, Alcina gets the message. She’s moving closer, now, behind you, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other rubbing gentle circles on your undamaged leg. Across from you Daniela is too busy pacing to help, though you can hardly blame her.

“Should I get the metal thing from the stove?” Cassandra asks, silently hoping that Dani hadn’t assumed someone else was going to handle that part. You’re still in too much pain to talk, so you half nod half grunt in response. Not bothering to say anything, the middle child takes off, swarm moving at what might be a new speed record.

As much as your hands are shaking, you still manage to cut away another strip of flesh, tossing it aside with even less care than before. This time Bela wipes the wound for you, practically reading your mind. The moment her hands are completely out of the way you start cutting again, crying out, throat shredded to pieces from all your screaming. Alcina sounds like she might be close to sobbing, but she doesn’t stop her movements, doing her best to distract you just like you had asked. Even Bela helps, now, tracing spots around your injury whenever she knows she won’t be in your way. The effect is minor, in the end, hardly making a dent in how much pain you’re processing.

If you survive this, though, you’re hugging every daughter as tight as you can and showering them with affection… but only after you finish doing the same for their mother.

“You are so brave,” Alcina murmurs next to your ear. It’s even clearer now how close she is to crying, her voice seconds away from cracking. Hearing her like this almost hurts as bad as the initial lycan attack did. “You are so strong. No other mortal could ever be your match. Do you understand, my dear? You are blessed, divine, and I love you so much.”

In any other setting, her words would leave you melting in her arms, radiating affection so strongly that you might as well have been radioactive. Instead, you are unable to respond, or even look her way. All you can do is press the knife to your skin again, showing your own feelings by destroying yourself for her.

The blade is starting to find more resistance, and you’re having to pause more often, spots appearing in your vision. Going faster only makes things worse, your hand threatening to slip. You’re determined to finish this, no matter what, but your need to control the situation is gradually making things worse. Alcina notices this before you do, and acts before you have a chance to protest.

“Bela, the knife,” she says, then tightens her grip on your waist. Your confusion shifts to panic as your arm is carefully, but forcefully, pulled away from your wound. “Can you finish the job?” It takes you a few moments to realize that Alcina isn’t talking to you. No, she’s speaking to her eldest daughter, who doesn’t hesitate to take the knife away from you. It’s so easy for her, between her strength and your weakness. “Don’t struggle. Let us finish this.”

Protests rise from your throat and die in your mouth. Pain flares harder now that Bela isn’t distracting you. Once more your vision goes dark, but this time there’s no pause, no hesitation. You are suffering, horribly, and the Dimitrescu family refuses to make you hurt longer than necessary. It’ll be over soon, you think, not knowing whether you refer to your pain or your life itself.

Something wet drops onto the back of your neck, then darkness overtakes you…

------------------------

“Damn those lycans, I should string Heisenberg up myself! They’re his responsibility, after all,” Lady Dimitrescu snarls, trying to ignore the tears in her eyes. Now that you’re unconscious, unable to hear what ails her, she feels free to voice her thoughts. “The damn things should never have come close to the path to the village.”

“What if she strayed from the path? Wouldn’t that explain it?” Bela suggests, even as her hands work to remove what seems to be the last piece of dead/infected flesh from your leg. She hates how the words feel in her mouth, hates suggesting that you of all people might have betrayed her mother’s trust. But it makes sense. After all, this whole mess, with you leaving the castle to retrieve a mysterious package, was all a test to see if you would try to run. It hadn’t been her idea, and Bela admitted to herself that she thought it was unnecessary.

“On the way back? Why would she bother getting the package if she intended to run?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, right as Cassandra returns. The middle child is practically juggling the metal spatula she’s carrying, irritated (not harmed) by the heat it produced. One of her brows perks up when she hears the conversation, but she keeps any thoughts she has to herself.

“Just a thought, mother, I didn’t quite believe it myself,” Bela chimes, after a pause. With that said she holds up her hand with pride, clutching between her fingers the last of the decaying flesh. The way the others react, one might have thought that a miracle had been performed. Daniela clapped her hands together, giggling a little, and finally stopped her pacing. “Don’t celebrate too much, now,” Bela reminded her, taking the spatula from Cassandra as she did. “There’s still plenty to do. It’s a good thing she’s not awake for this part.”

A good thing, indeed. She uses her fingers to spread the remaining skin a little, giving a quick examination, then deciding that she had successfully removed all remaining residue. Keeping her fingers where they were, she pressed the side of the spatula to your skin, putting the most pressure at the center of the wound. Three seconds passed, then she lifted her hand. A pause. She pressed it back into place, keeping a close eye on the affected area. This repeated several times, the gaps being necessary to prevent unintentional damage. Once the wound seemed properly closed she set the spatula aside.

“Is that it?... Did we save her?” Daniela asks, opting to finally sit down in a nearby chair. Something about her word choice makes both of her sisters scoff.

“I could sew it closed, as a precaution, but there’s no way I’d do it the way she had intended. It might be best to just give her time to rest, and see what she thinks when she gets back up,” Bela answers. For a moment her words hang in the air, but eventually Alcina gives a little nod and a hum.

“Very well. I shall carry her to my quarters, where she won’t be disturbed. Please, let one of the Maidens know to bring some food up this evening,” Alcina says, gently taking you into her arms as she does…

------------------------

BAD ENDING: It’s been six hours, with no sign of you waking up. Your other wounds had been examined, cleaned, and bandaged. Food had been carefully prepared and brought up to you, though it now remained on the bedside table, untouched. Alcina has gone to call Mother Miranda, intending to speak to her about the growing unrest of the lycans, as Heisenberg hadn’t answered his phone. For the first time since you returned you are alone. It is now, of all times, that you awaken. A gasp sends you into a coughing spree, forcing you into a sitting position. The space around you feels like it's moving, and your vision blurs. Blood spills from your mouth as you finally regain the ability to breathe.

Seconds later your vision clears, but what you see is enough to make you wish you couldn’t. The blood that spilled onto the sheets is a dark red… with even darker spots scattered throughout it. All at once you know what happened: Residue had hidden from you, or gone deeper than your wound, infecting you before you ever stood a chance. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but something deeper starts calling to you. Something older. Darker. It drags you to your feet, ignores the pain of your wounds, and sends you out the bedroom door.

Your mind is racing, thoughts never quite clear enough for you to understand. It doesn’t feel like you’re in control of your own movements. Was something else in charge, or were you operating on an infection powered autopilot? Answers weren’t coming, just bloodshed.

“You’re not supposed to be out of bed yet!” A voice calls out to you, making you turn to investigate. On the other end of the hallway is a maiden, one you instantly recognize. You’ve worked with her before, plenty of times, tag-teaming more tasks than you could count. She was like a sister to you. When she sees the blood staining your clothes, she gasps, then moves to support you. “Please, Lady Dimitrescu will be so upset if you-” her words melt into a blood curdling scream. For a moment you don’t understand.

And then you swallow, a chunk of hot meat slipping down your throat, and the scream dies down.

“What?...” You whisper, finally tasting the blood in your mouth, watching as your friend’s body falls to the floor. There’s a chunk of flesh missing from her neck, and the dots connect themselves in your head. You did that. Every part of you wants to scream, wants to cry out and beg someone to come kill you. Instead you fall to your knees, hard, uncaring. Your hands move themselves, grasping at the still warm corpse. Something has made you stronger, or at the very least removed the mental limits that kept you from destroying yourself. Flesh gives under your touch, tearing like paper, and you start crying as it reaches your mouth.

Footsteps approach, thundering fast, and you want to warn whoever it is. When you turn to look, you feel your hands let go of your meal. Your gaze meets that of a stunned Cassandra Dimitrescu, then drifts to the sickle in her hand.

“Kill me,” you growl, voice distorted, practically echoing. “Kill me now!” Not needing to be told a third time, Cassandra moves lightning quick, swarm-jumping forward before manifesting behind you, sickle dragging across your throat in one smooth motion. But it’s not enough. She realizes this, though, and slams her foot into your back, sending you tumbling forward. It’s enough to prevent you from countering, which gives her time to advance again, this time pulling a knife from her boot and driving it into the center of your back. When you scream, it’s not with your own voice, but that of a monster.

“Fucking fuck, what the fuck, red?” Daniella asks as she rounds the corner, eyes immediately landing on your bloodsoaked mouth. She’s quick to take in the scene, drawing a conclusion easily, even if it breaks her heart a little. Your vision fades as she approaches, and you know that it’s finally over. If only you had expired a few seconds earlier… because the last thing you hear is the startled cry of your would-be lover.

“No! No, darling, what happened-” Alcina finishes her sentence, but you do not hear it. You do not hear anything, anymore. You do not know it… but there will be hell to pay for your death.

------------------------

GOOD ENDING: When you awake, you find yourself in the softest sheets you’ve ever touched, a warm and familiar presence next to you. The first thing you see is Alcina’s sleeping face next to your own. She’s on her side, one arm around your waist, the covers pulled up to her hip. Warmth fills your chest as you take in the sight. For a few moments you just… appreciate this. Never before had you imagined that you would get to wake up next to the woman you loved so much. A sigh, one of bliss, leaves your lips. Slowly you move forward, gently placing a kiss to Alcina’s cheek. Seconds later her eyelids flutter open, and she tiredly takes you in.

“You’re… awake,” she murmurs, hardly awake herself. But her fatigue doesn’t last long. As soon as she’s fully processed the situation her eyes go wide. Then she’s pulling you closer, careful not to hurt you, and peppering little kisses over your face. “I’ve been so worried, dear. You scared us so much.” The hurt in her voice leaves you restless, making you curl up against her, desperate to soothe her worries. Moving hurts a little, but not enough to dissuade you from your goal.

“I’m sorry, love,” you say, tears pricking your eyes. “I’m okay, I’m alive, the plan worked out. You don’t have to fret for me anymore. I won’t leave you, I promise.” Slowly but surely, Alcina calms, exchanging kisses for softly running her fingers through your hair. There’s such love in her eyes that you can hardly believe you aren’t dreaming. “You’re amazing, Alcina. I could stay like this all day.”

“Maybe we should,” she offers, chuckling a little. Once again you give her a quick kiss, unable to resist the urge. “I should have never asked you to leave. I should have just trusted you.” The words give you pause, and you tilt your head in confusion. Realizing that you still didn’t know the full story, Alcina frowns. “The package is worthless, just a bundle of straw and a few rocks for weight. It was never what I cared about.”

Tension builds in your chest, and for a few seconds you have no idea how to react. It takes a minute for you to think, to connect the dots, but once you do it’s a tad bit easier to breathe. A scowl twists your lips as you think of what to say.

“If I had known that Heisenberg was forgoing his duties, I never would have sent you outside,” Alcina adds, the silence taking its toll on her.

“You shouldn’t have sent me either way,” you respond, bitterly, thinking of all that you had seen and heard on your journey. “I would have done anything to prove to you how I feel. There are other ways to show devotion- far less dangerous ways, at that.”

“I know, dear. You have every right to be angry… and watching you suffer has taught me all that I need to know,” Alcina says, still playing with your hair, trying to ease the tension. As upset as you about this recent revelation… it’s not enough to change how you feel about her, and you want her to understand that, fully and completely.

So you lean into her touch, let your eyes drift close for a moment, then softly place one of your arms around her as best as you can.

“We’ll need to talk about this more… just not right now. Right now, I need you, Alcina. I need to hold you, and be held by you, and just know that you’re here. That I’m here. That neither of us are going anywhere,” you say, resting your forehead against hers. “I need to feel safe, and your arms are the safest place I can imagine. Stay here with me?”

“It will be the easiest thing I have ever done.”

[theanonymousb]

My 20 Best Korean Drama

1.    Hi Bye Mama

Genre: Fantasy, Drama

Plot:

Cha Yu-Ri (Kim Tae Hee) has been a ghost since she died 5 years ago. She left behind her husband Jo Kang-Hwa and their child. To become a human again, Cha Yu-Ri carries out a reincarnation project for 49 days.

Meanwhile, Jo Kang-Hwa (Lee Kyu-Hyung) works as a chest surgeon. He was loving, but, after his wife died, his personality changed. After 5 years, his wife Cha Yu-Ri reappears in front of him.

2.    It’s Okay to Not be Okay

Genre: Romance, Drama

Plot:

A story about a man employed in a psychiatric ward and a woman, with an antisocial personality disorder, who is a popular writer of children’s books.

Moon Kang-Tae (Kim Soo-Hyun) works in a psychiatric ward. His job is to write down the patients’ conditions and deal with unexpected situations, like if patients fight or they run away. He only earns about 1.8 million won ($1,600 USD) a month. The woman (Seo Yea-Ji) is a popular writer of children’s literature, but she is extremely selfish, arrogant and rude.

3.    Angel’s last Mission

Genre: Romance, Fantasy

Plot:

Kim Dan (Kim Myung-Soo) is an angel. He is also a troublemaker and also optimist. Lee Yeon-Seo (Shin Hye-Sun) is a ballerina who does not believe in lve.

Dan then receives a mission. If he succeeds, he can return to Heaven. His mission is to find true love for Yeon-Seo, but soon falls in love with her.

4.    Prison Playbook

Genre: Black Comedy

Plot:

Je-Hyeok (Park Hae-Soo) is the best relief pitcher in Korea. He will to the U.S and sign a contract with a major league. One night, he hears his sister screaming and sees a man running out of her apartment. Je-hyeok and the man get into a physical struggle with Je-Hyeok striking the man with a rock. Later, Je-Hyeok receives a 1 year prison sentence for using excessive force. Devastated, Je-Hyeok must adapt to life in prison.

Meanwhile, Joon-Ho (Jung Kyoung-Ho) is a friend of Je-Hyeok and works in the prisonas an officer. He waits for Je-Hyeok’s arrival.

5.    Chicago Typewriter

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Friendship

Plot:

This drama follows the lives of two men and a woman through two eras; one during the 1930s Japanese occupation of Korea and the other in the 21st century. Han Se-Joo (Yoo Ah-In) who was a writer in his past life and a bestselling author in the present. But Se-Joo is depressed with writer’s block so he can’t write his next book.

Yu Jin-Oh (Go Kyung-Pyo) owned a bar in his previous life. In 2017 he is a talented ghostwriter who can bail Se-Joo out of his predicament, but the mysterious man has a condition for his services. Se-Joo may not be able to meet it.

Jun Seol (Im Soo Jung) was a sniper. Now she has extremely variety expertise. She is a former Olympian hopeful, a veterinarian and a book lover who runs her own delivery service. She oscillates between extreme fandom and an anti-fan of Se Joo.

The intricately woven story of these three characters unfolds to reveal strange mirroring connections between the time periods as well as possibilities for past lives to be redeemed or improves in the modern world.

6.    Uncontrollably Fond

Genre: Romance, Melodrama

Plot:

Sin Joon-Young (Kim Woo-Bin) and No Eul (Bae Suzy) were in love in ther younger days. But uncontrollable circumstances separated them and they went their separate ways. Joon-Young is now a superstar actor and singer, while No Eul became a producer-director of documentaries. When their path cross again years later. Joon-Young discovers that No Eul is now very different person than he remembered – materialisticand willing to do anything to get ahead.

7.    Penthouse: War In Life

Genre: Suspense, Life, Drama, Family, Mature

Plot:

The residents of Hera Palace, a luxury penthouse apartment with 100 floors, have many secrets and hidden ambitions. Sim Su-Ryeon (Lee Ji-Ah), who was born into wealth, is the queen of the penthouse apartment. Cheon Seo-Jin (Kim So-Yeon), the prima donna of the residence, does all she can to give everything to her daughter. Oh Yoon-Hee (Eugene) comes from a poor family background, but she strives to enter high society by becoming the queen of the penthouse, the pinnacle success in her eyes. A battle for wealth, power, and prestige at Seoul’s most coveted penthouse begins.

8.    Crash Landing On You

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Military, Political

Plot:

Yoon Se-Ri (Son Ye-Ji) is an heiress to a conglomerate in South Korea. One day, while paragliding, an accident caused by strong winds leads Yoon Se-Ri to make an emergency landing in North Korea.  There, she meets Ri Jeong-Hyeok (Hyun-Bin), who is a North Korean army officer. He tries to protect her and hide her. Soon, Ri Jeong-Hyeok falls in love with Yoon Se-RI.

9.    Itaewon Class

Genre: Romance, Business, Friendship, Life

Plot:

On the first day of attending his new high school, Park Sae-Ro-Yi (Park Seo-Joon) punches his classmate Jang Geun-Won, who was bullying another classmate. The bully is the son of CEO Jang Dae-Hee (Yoo Jae-Myung). The bully's father runs restaurant business Jagga where Park Sae-Ro-Yi’s own father works. CEO Jang Dae-Hee demands to Park Sae-Ro-Yi that he apologizes to his son, but Park Sae-Ro-Yi refuses. Because of his refusal, Park Sae-Ro-Yi gets expelled from school and his father gets fired from his job. Soon, an accident takes place. Park Sae-Ro-Yi’s father dies in a motorcycle accident caused by his ex-classmate Jang Geun-Won. Burning with anger, Park Sae-Ro-Yi viciously beats Jang Geun-Won. He is soon arrested and receives prison time for the violent assault. Park Sae-Ro-Yi decides to destroy the Jagga company and take revenge upon CEO Jang Dae-Hee and his son Jang Geun-Won. Once Park Sae-Ro-Yi is released from prison, he opens a restaurant in Itaewon, Seoul. Jo Yi-Seo (Kim Da-Mi), who is popular on social media, joins Park Sae-Ro-Yi’s restaurant and works there as a manger. She has feelings for Park Sae-Ro-Yi.

10. Hotel De Luna

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Horror, Fantasy

Plot:

Jang Man-Wol (IU) is the CEO of Hotel del Luna. The hotel is situated in downtown in Seoul and has a very old appearance. She made a big error many years ago and, because of this, she has been stuck at Hotel del Luna. She is beautiful, but she is fickle, suspicious and greedy.

Koo Chan-Sung (Yeo Jin-Goo) worked as the youngest assistant manager ever at a multinational hotel corporation. He is a sincere perfectionist. He looks level-headed, but he actually has a soft disposition. Due to an unexpected case, he begins to work as a manager at Hotel del Luna. The hotel's clientele consists of ghosts.

11. Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol

Genre: Romance, Comedy

Plot:

Goo Ra-Ra (Go Ara) is a pianist. She has bright personality. Something happened that caused her to become bankrupt. She doesn't have anything now and she is frustrated with her situation.

Sunwoo Joon (Lee Jae-Wook) doesn't care what other people think about him, but he has a warm heart. He is free spirited and doesn't have a specific dream or goal for his life. He makes ends meet by working part-time jobs.

Goo Ra-Ra and Sunwoo Joon meet at the small private piano academy LaLa Land in a country village.

12. 18 Again

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Youth, Drama, Fantasy

Plot:

Tells the story of a husband named Hong Dae Young (Lee Do-Hyun) who is on the verge of divorce but finds himself back in his body when he was at the prime of his life 18 years ago. He ends up changing his name to Go Woo Young when he becomes 18- years-old again. Meanwhile, his wife Jung Da Jung(Kim Ha-Neul) joins the workforce as an anchorwoman later on in life after raising their 18-year-old twins.

13. Goblin: The Lonely and Great God

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Fantasy

Plot:

In ancient times, Kim Shin (Gong Yoo) is an unbeatable general in wars, but the young King (Kim Min-Jae) is jealous of Kim Shin and kills him. Kim Shin becomes Dokkaebi (Goblin), possessing an immortal life. At first he thinks that he is blessed, but he realizes that he is cursed.

Closer to the present day, Kim Shin has waited 900 years for a human bride to end his immortal life. One night, he saves a dying pregnant woman (Park Hee-Von) who is destined to die. Meanwhile, the Grim Reaper (Lee Dong-Wook) is unable to find the dead pregnant woman. The woman gives birth to a baby girl named Ji Eun-Tak (later played by Kim Go-Eun). 9 years later, Ji Eun-Tak lives with her mother and is able to see ghosts. One night, her mother suddenly dies. On that night, she meets the Grim Reaper.

In the present day, Ji Eun-Tak is a high school student. She still sees ghosts and hears their whisper of “Dokkaebi’s bride.” She now lives with her aunt’s family, but she is mistreated by them. On her birthday, Ji Eun-Tak sits by the sea with a lighted birthday cake. At that time, Kim Shin suddenly appears in front of her. Kim Shin does not know why, but he can hear her voice and appears in front of her against his will. Coincidentally, Kim Shin lives with the Grim Reaper at the same house.

Now, Kim Shin appears in front of her against his will, whenever she turns off the lights. One day, Ji Eun-Tak tells him that he is Dokkaebi and she is his bride.

14. It’s Okay That’s Love

Genre: Friendship, Psychological, Comedy, Romance, Drama

Plot:

Jang Jae-Yeol (Jo In-Sung) is a mystery writer and radio DJ. He suffers from a obsession. Ji Hae-Soo (Gong Hyo-Jin) is going through her first year fellowship in psychiatry at a University Hospital. She chose psychiatry because she doesn't want to perform surgeries. After she meets Jang Jae-Yeol, her life goes through big changes.

15. Let’s Fight Ghost

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Fantasy, Action, Horror

Plot:

Hyun-Ji (Kim So-Hyun) studied for most her life before she died at the age of 19. She is now a ghost and has wandered around the world for several years. Hyun-Ji then meets exorcist Park Bong-Pal (TaecYeon). Hyun-Ji and Bong-Pal listens to various stories from ghosts and sends them to the otherworld.

16. Hospital Playlist

Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Romance, Life, Medical

Plot:

A drama depicting the stories of people going through their days that are seemingly ordinary but actually special, at the hospital, a place known as the microcosm of life - where someone is being born and someone's life meets their ending. The five doctors are longtime friends of 20 years who started their undergrad in 1999 in the same medical school, and now they are colleagues in the same hospital. The drama will also deal with a story of a band formed by the group of doctors.

17. Fated to Loved You

Genre: Business, Comedy, Romance,

Plot:

This drama is the story of an ordinary girl, Mi Yeong, (Jang Na-Ra)who has neither outstanding looks, a prestigious college degree, nor any other charming qualities, facing her whole life abruptly changing when love comes knocking at her door. While on vacation, she accidentally happens to spend one night with Lee Gun (Jang Hyuk) and even gets pregnant from that night. Because of this incident, her life will never be the same, and this fateful encounter brings love that transforms this not-so-special girl to an attractive, charming lady.

18. Go Back Couple

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Life, Fantasy

Plot:

Choi Ban-Do (Son Ho-Jun) and Ma Jin-Joo (Jang Na-Ra) are both 38-years-old and a married couple. Choi Ban-Do has been burdened with being the breadwinner and Ma Jin-Joo is a housewife with low self-esteem. Even though they loved each other when they married, they now hate each other. They both regret marrying at such a young age. The couple travel through time and find themselves as 20-year-old university students, when they met for the first time.

19. To The Beautiful You

Genre: School, Teen, Romantic, Comedy, Sports

Plot:

Kang Tae-Joon (Minho) is a gold medalist in the high jump, but he has been mired in a slump due to an injury. In order to help her idol, a girl named Koo Jae-Hee (Sulli) disguises herself as a boy and enrolls at the same all male high school.When Tae-Joon (Minho) is competiting at the World Junior Competition, Jae-Hee (Sulli) watches him on TV in America and becomes very touched.

Despite her friends telling her otherwise, Jae-Hee cuts her long hair by herself. She then flies to South Korea, with a plan to stay with Tae-Joon who is now injured. Jae-Hee disguises herself as a boy and enrolls at the all boys Genie Physical Education High School. On her first day at school, Jae-Hee goes up the stairs with her suitcase, but her suitcase bursts open and all her clothes fall out. A boy comes by and helps her pick up her stuff. Jae-Hee realizes that the boy helping her is none other than her idol Tae-Joon. In her excitement, Jae-Hee sits on her suitcase, which proceeds to slide down the stairs.

20. When the Camellia Blooms

Genre: Triller, Comedy, Romance, Family

Plot:

Dong-Baek (Kong Hyo-Jin) is a single mother living in the small town of Ongsan. She runs the bar-restaurant Camellia, while also taking care of her son Pil-Gu (Kim Kang-Hoon). The people of Ongsan frequently gossip about Dong-Baek. She grew up as an orphan, is a single mother and runs a bar where many of the men in Ongsan frequent. Regardless of what the locals may whisper about Dong-Baek, local police officer Hwang Yong-Sik (Kang Ha-Neul) is deeply in love with her. Meanwhile, Dong-Baek's ex-boyfriend Kang Jong-Ryeol (Kim Ji-Suk) suddenly reappears in her life. He is a famous baseball player, that hid their relationship when they dated. While Dong-Baek tries to find happiness, something truly sinister lurks in the background. A serial killer roams Ongsan and Dong-Baek may be a target.

[gumnut-logic]

Warnings: Virgil/Kayo

He was her idiot.

-o-o-o-

Her Idiot

He expected to find her in the gym.

But she wasn’t there.

A quick search of her room and most of the rest of the house proved she wasn’t there either.

He bit his lip. If Kayo didn’t want to be found, his chances weren’t good.

The hangars also failed to reveal his girlfriend and an hour later he started to worry.

“John?”

“I’m sorry, Virgil. Don’t ask, she has already scarred me for life last time I told Gordon where to find her when she was upset.”

“Gordon?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that explains the retaliation. What did she do?”

“I’m not going there. Trust me, you don’t want to either.”

“C’mon, John, I’m worried about her.”

There was silence at the other end of the line.

“Please, John, you can put all the blame on me. I just need to make sure she is all right.”

“You’ll fix my shower?”

“Your shower?”

“My shower.”

“When did it break?”

“Hasn’t broken yet, but I’m sure it will if I point you in the direction of a beach on the north-west side of the island.”

“Thanks, John.”

“I am hiding behind you, big brother. Your girl is scary.”

He smiled. “I know.”

“Hmph.”

Virgil signed off and, grabbing a hat and sunnies, set out for the northern side of the island.

It was late afternoon, but the sun was still at burning strength, so it wasn’t long before he was uncomfortably hot in his long shirt. So he shed it and tied it around his waist, leaving a thin tank top his only protection against the sea breeze.

it was wonderfully cool on his bare skin.

He made good time, jogging part of the way, keeping an eye out for their missing security specialist.

It hadn’t been a good day.

A cascade of poor luck had seen Alan, Kayo and a young woman trapped in a house during an aftershock in Japan. The ground beneath the house had fallen into the river that had undercut the foundations. Kayo had had to make a choice between saving her brother or saving the civilian.

She had tried for both.

Lost the civilian.

And only just managed to catch Alan, who had consequently swung into an exposed beam and gashed his leg open, severing an artery in the process.

It has been bad.

Her yell for help had torn at him, but he had been responsible for six other civilians at the time and had been unable to respond immediately.

Gordon had made it first on the scene. By the time Virgil had been able to make it to her side, she had shut off from the world, her expression ice as she held her wrenched shoulder.

She hadn’t said a word to anyone on the way to the hospital. Virgil stood beside her as Scott questioned the incident.

He sat beside her as they waited for Alan to get out of surgery.

And stood behind her as his little brother woke up.

Now, three days later, finally at home, his little brother was safe in bed in his room, and she had vanished.

He walked past the little cliff and beach they had dubbed ‘their beach’ and continued further around the island. The trail became rocky from that point onwards and he had to clamber over several spots where a path wasn’t really possible.

He still couldn’t find her.

“John?”

“If she breaks my furniture, you’re buying me all new.”

“John.” This had gone beyond a joke.

“Climb down to the beach, there is a small sea cave.”

“There is?” He clambered over jagged basalt, cursing under his breath as it scratched his palms.

“Haven’t you explored the island, Virgil?”

“Uh, been busy. And I don’t have the advantage of Tracymaps.com satellite view.”

“Perhaps you should come visit more often.”

“Yeah, sure, John.”

His brother’s vague snort answered that one fairly clearly. They both knew separating Virgil from Two was not a good idea, for anyone.

He hurdled over a last chunk of rock and his feet hit sand. The little beach was bleached coral white with a scattering of weathered basalt. The high tide line was sketched out with shell and debris from the last major storm, and in the cliff lining the shore the debris disappeared into a darkness where the cooling basalt had left a natural cave that the sea had since chewed on.

Virgil whispered into his comm. “John, is that cliff face stable?”

“Of course. Do you think I’d let our sister under it if it wasn’t?”

“Okay, I get it. Sorry, reflex thought.” A pause. “Does she come here often?”

“Virgil, I keep many secrets. It is my job. I’m already lined up for crucifixion having told you where she was, I’m not going to be drawn and quartered for extra fun.”

“A little over dramatic, don’t you think?”

“She’s your girlfriend, you tell me.”

“She’s your sister.”

“Exactly. I have no protection, despite those twenty-two thousand kilometres. Just remember that this is on your head. Thunderbird Five out.”

A mumble under his breath, “FAB.” And Virgil approached the cave.

It was small but deep. A handful of rough and weather-worn stalactites hung from the entrance like teeth.

“Kay?” His voice was eaten by the darkness, but there was a slight change in the shadows as her face turned to look at him. As his eyes adjusted, and he belatedly remembered to take off his sunnies, her figure, seated on a rock protrusion towards the back of the cave, became clear. “Honey?”

“I’m going to kill John.” It was muttered under her breath and he doubted he was supposed to hear it, but cave and acoustics did it for him.

“You do realise you have him terrified.”

“Obviously not terrified enough.”

“You can blame me. Leave him out of it.” It was firm, but it needed to be said.

She unfolded like a cat, her slim body straightening in the darkness. Her shorts hung low on her hips, her crop top leaving her belly bare. She’d obviously come out here for a run, but it hadn’t been enough. She stalked towards him. “Blame you?”

Despite himself, a spike of concern shot through him. She was half his size, but he knew she could take him on sheer skill alone. Sure he could pin her with his mass, but he doubted she would give him the opportunity.

But then this was Kay, the woman he loved.

“Blame me.”

The little cave blocked the sun and chilled his skin. He shivered.

She walked right up to him and barged into his personal space, simply looking up at him. Then simply stepped around and walked past without saying a word.

He turned to follow her and the sun blinded him for a crucial moment. He grabbed for his sunnies, but in that split second she was gone.

Damnit.

“Kay?” He stepped out onto the empty beach. “Kay!” How the hell had she done that? “For Christ’s sake, Kay, I’m worried about you!”

“You should be more worried about Alan.” Her voice was smooth as honey, from above and behind. He left a gouge in the sand as he spun, looking up to find her crouched on the cliff above the cave.

“Alan is fine.”

“Lucky boy.” She stood up, still cat-like and turning, began to climb further up the hill behind the beach.

“Kay, please!” He made for the rockfall that had allowed him onto the sand in the first place and threw himself up the climb. It appeared that his lot in life was to chase those he cared about. Scott knew how to throw a marathon when he didn’t want to talk. How the hell had he managed to end up dating his brother?

By dating his sister.

If his hands hadn’t been scrabbling over sharp basalt, it would have been a facepalm moment.

“It wasn’t your fault, Kay!”

“Yes, it was.” She was gaining distance, she was just too damn fast.

“No, it wasn’t.”

She stopped and turned towards him, anger in her eyes. “How was it not, Virgil? I let her die and I nearly got Alan killed.”

“It was shitty luck. Sometimes things just happen. You saved Alan. He is recovering.”

She stared at him, her lips thinning to almost non-existence.

And he saw it in her eyes. The fear, the horror and the anger, always the anger. He wanted to reach out and draw her into his arms, hold her tight and reassure her that it would be alright.

But it wasn’t alright. A woman had died.

Kay was out of reach.

And she turned away.

“Kay?”

“Leave me alone, Virgil.” She started climbing again.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.” And he started clambering over rocks again.

She stopped and turned angrily again. “Why not? If you think being in a romantic relationship gives you the right to harass me, Virgil Tracy, think again.”

He straightened. “No, I care, Kay. That’s all. If you think I’m going to leave you out here to beat yourself up, you’re sorely mistaken.” A pause. “And if you think this is simply because of our current relationship, you’re obviously amnesiac.”

She glared at him as he continued to climb over the damn rocks. “You’re right. You’ve always been a pain in the ass.”

He chose to ignore that, and focussed on climbing without taking the skin off his palms.

Damn the sun was hot.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to look up. Part of him was questioning his decision to come out here and butt in on her grief. Maybe she didn’t need him? Maybe she could handle herself. Maybe he was being an ass. But the thought of her suffering alone and berating herself, like he knew she was, for a twist of fate that would have burnt any of them...his heart just hurt.

So maybe he was being selfish. Maybe he was out here for his own reassurance that she was okay.

But goddamnit, he loved her and she shouldn’t have to face this alone.

“You’re bleeding.”

He couldn’t help it, he jumped. “How the hell do you do that?”

She was crouched on the rock just above him, her eyes scanning him up and down. A smirk appeared on her lips. “If I told you, I would have to kill you.” She nodded her head in the direction of his right hand. “You’re bleeding.”

“It’s just a scratch. I didn’t think to bring my gloves and climbing equipment.”

“You don’t need to follow me.”

“Yes, I do.” And he continued to climb until he was eye to eye with her.

“Why?” It was whispered.

“Because I love you.”

“You are going to use that as an excuse for everything, aren’t you.”

“Possibly.” He sat on the rock next to her and stared out at the ocean. “I remember a beautiful young girl hiding behind her father’s legs, staring out at the five of us. You had a bruise on your cheek and you were afraid to speak to any of us for days. Dad said you had fallen and hurt yourself.” He looked sideways at her. “But that is not what really happened is it?”

She was staring wide-eyed at him, fear in that beautiful green.

“Having the Hood as a member of your family couldn’t have been easy.”

“No.” It was forced from her, a rush of exhaled breath. “Virgil, don’t.”

He stopped. Every muscle in her body was wound like a spring. Flight or fight was on her face and he feared he had gone too far, touched topics that should never be touched.

“You’re not alone anymore, Kay.” He didn’t dare reach out, fearful that she would flee.

But she simply turned away, staring out at the ocean. “I know.” Whispered. “But I can’t afford...”

He waited.

She looked at him and the fear was back. “I can’t.”

He held out an arm, simply offering himself. “You don’t have to.”

Her eyes bounced from his to his arm, obviously assessing what was on offer. There was a battle in her gaze.

“Come here, love.”

The war flickered over her expression again. “You really are a pain in the ass.”

He dared to smile just a little. “But I’m your pain in the ass.”

“Yes, you are.” It was whispered as if it was a decision made. She dropped her legs over the edge of the rock and sidled up next to him.

He let his arm drop around her shoulders and drew her in gently. Just like he had wanted to do since he had set eyes on her. Leaning over he kissed her hair. “Love you.”

“I know.”

He just squeezed her tighter.

They sat there as the sun headed towards the horizon. No words said. At one point, she unwrapped his arm from around her and placed his hand in her lap, turning it over to expose the scratches on his palm. They were minor, but she glared at him anyway.

He shrugged.

She wrapped his hand in both of hers and kissed his knuckles.

He grinned.

“You idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot.”

She groaned and rolled her eyes.

But she didn’t let go.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×06 Review

(How the f**k they just gonna leave me on read like this till March 4th)

The episode was a rollercoaster but something tells me the real ride is going to happen from the next episode.

___________________________________________

Maggie

I knew Winston was gonna show up in person at some point or the other. When he dropped the long distance wasn't working line and put the phone down in her ear so he could get some 'eggs' I knew he was in Seattle, good for her she's going to need him to lean on seeing that Mer freaking crashed again. At least she'll have somebody there for her because all her other support is personally attached to Meredith as well.

Besides Winston turning up, treating Tom and her being understandably giddy at Mer being awake there was also a scene where she educated Amelia on some things now I won't get into the details again but I'm just in love with the fact that Grey's isn't afraid to touch on controversial topics, they use their large platform to raise awareness and their speeches are always on point.

___________________________________________

Teddy/Owen

(She needed the time off more than Bailey did tbh)

My God was it satisfying when Richard literally just tore into her. She put herself in the situation and is now taking her anger out on others which is really in poor taste. Poor Helm, I hope she didn't take it personally. At this point it's her time to annoy me, I miss the season 6 Teddy, hopefully she redeems herself soon. After being torn apart by Webber's words she then proceeds to make things worst by revealing yet another big secret to Owen at work. (At least this time it was on purpose.) She just needs to take some time away and think on what she really wants and needs to reflect before spontaneously starting potentially life changing conversations. First it was telling Tom they had a chance then it was telling Owen that she still loves him and the kids while also revealing that she named their daughter after not only her best friend but also the woman that she was very much in love with. Pick a struggle Teddy at this point she's seeming confused more than anything else.

___________________________________________

Owen

For the past few seasons Owen was one of the characters getting on my nerves but lately he's been fine. He hasn't redeemed himself yet but his probation is going fine. Watching this show really shows how good of a person a doctor has to be in order to follow the ethical guidelines. If I had that scum bag for a patient I would have literally just pretended to fail at saving him and let the guy die, (guess that's why the Lord made me suck at Chemistry and Physics) his response to Bob about him being at the devils barbecue was badass, gave me serious season 5 Owen vibes or vibes like when he punched that guy out for disrupting the ER when he was chief, Major Hunt reporting for duty.

As for him and Teddy I can get why he was upset, her he was about to attempt to make amends at probably rekindling a friendship or maybe their relationship and she revels that your daughter is named after her lover, she could have atleast told him that when they were in the naming process, he deserved to know exactly who his child was being named after. I'm kinda a bitch but there was no way I'd feel comfortable having my child named after my partner's lover. On the other hand he should hear her out he has literally cheated twice and both times he sat and was able to share his side of the story and the woman he was with listened to his explanations. Teddy deserves as much, it might hurt but he did the same and Karma unfortunately is still a bitch.

___________________________________________

Bailey

(I just wanted to give her a hug the whole night.)

She has a really unhealthy habit of working through her grief, first her miscarriage and now through the death of her mom. I'm honestly sad that Ben had to be the one to comfort Tuck and tell him his grandmother had even died (she's always so busy, Ben is pratically the one raising him at this point.) And I'm also upset that I haven't gotten to see Ben being there for her either. I'm assuming it might be a protocol on the sets.

At least she took time off of the cases, I understand why she didn't want to go home as a doctor she has the highest risk of transporting the virus, but her mind understandably wasn't going to be in the doctoring game. I really thought they were gonna make her freeze up and accidentally kill a patient or something, but at least they didn't go down that line. And what even happened to her dad? did he take the Covid test? Wheres he staying now? Is he safe?

The conversations between her and Deluca were sweet, it's another unexpected friendship, before the only one she really disclosed any details of her life with was Richard but now they're opening her support group which is fine. I'm also glad that Deluca was able to look past the whole fiasco last season and hold no grudges. She has now fully redeemed herself completely, she's still my all time favorite character but from season 13 to probably mid season 16 she really had some storylines and scenes that irked me to watch and made me question some things, but now she's back on track at least to me.

Also I know that Richard is the chief of chiefs but how are they just gonna let him take back over the surgery unit like that again? I mean I did miss him as chief but now Bailey just basically seems like a regular old surgeon with a fancy office, idk it just seems kinda weird to me.

___________________________________________

Jackson

Not only carrying on the work and teachings of Mark Sloan but also using his boatload of cash to rescue a patient's mother from racist police who should have been the ones actually in prison. That was basically it for him though.

___________________________________________

Jo

Oml I honestly almost forgot she was even really in the episode. She had so little screen time. She's still in the middle of transitioning to OB. I have no issue with that because OB's still can do surgery, so we'll still get to see her and she'll be happy again plus it's about time that Grey's cashes in that Regulars card on Carina. We see her on Station 19 as an accessory I want to see the Jo and Carina tag team.

___________________________________________

Amelia

Not really much in this episode. No content with Link she just did surgery to save the scum with Owen. They may have made a mediocre couple but they work good as friends. Also I'm assuming she's off of maternity leave now? Did they mention that I'm not sure but she's back now.

___________________________________________

Richard

Not much of a storyline, he made the decision to put Meredith on the Vent and is busy running the hospital as the chief of the hospital again I guess. And also spitting the much needed facts that Teddy needed to hear.

___________________________________________

Tom

They're finally showing more of Tom's good side, I mean I always liked him and saw the potential in his character but they never really showed his soft side for a prolonged period like they did today. May I just say I enjoyed his and Meredith's friendly banter they have the same lowkey dark humor and at least it would have taken their minds off of being sick especially for him because he basically has no one else. Hearing him open up about his son and expressing how he'd do anything to hear him say dad again was sad I can only imagine his pain. Meredith was his reason for holding on especially after he had to witness his roommate die from Covid, the same thing he's suffering from right before his eyes and now Mer back unconscious this time with a tube down her throat I'm just really hoping that he keeps the faith, the last thing we need is a death right now.

___________________________________________

Meredith

(God damn it Mer all you had to do was stay awake.)

For a few brief moments all was right with the world Meredith was awake and everyone was happy and then she just had to go be Wonder Woman and over exert herself, but that's the thing they would have probably needed armed guards at the doors to keep her from putting someone else's life above her own, its one of her best qualities and at times one of her worst. I knew it was too good to be true when she was awake and laughing. It was giving me Mark Sloan final episode vibes. They better not kill her off that would be the worst ending for me, what about the kids? Step off the damn beach Mer you've gone through too much to let Covid take you out. On the other hand this gives us more beach scenes. It's more unlikely to have a live character return but there's still lots of dead ones to choose from, her mother is always a likely suspect, Denny loved being on the show and I think Breaking bad had its final season, Mark is a toss up based on how he cut ties with the show and Lexie is also a toss up because she is filming Supergirl in another country, however anything is possible with Grey's. I thought the beach scenes were over because she was waking up but look how wrong I was. All I hope is that they don't kill her off its unlikely because she's the main character but still its Grey's they like to go out with a bang.

___________________________________________

Deluca

I left him for last because to me he really did have the biggest storyline of the night.

Firstly I'm glad to see that at least part of the earliers season's Deluca has returned. I loved him as the passionate, badass and almost cocky guy as well but I always missed his more compassionate and softer side more. I'm glad to see it back and I'm also glad to see that he's taking his meds and resting, and I can confirm that having support is a needed factor in treating mental health. As strange as it was seeing the Bailey and Deluca chat it's good that they both have each other. They both suffer from mental illnesses and can relate to each other on a different level. They have me wondering now if they're going to use his mental health issues as a way to separate him and Mer, or use it as the reason why he pursued her, kinda like how they tried to blame Amelia's tumor for her bad decisions and then used it to break her and Owen up. I guess we'll just have to see where Merluca will go from here or if it will manifest Merhaynes instead.

Now onto the big stuff, the whole sex trafficking thing the whole episode I was literally yelling at the tv for either Deluca, Bailey or Carina to see that bitch, the moment it was connected that the kidnapper was involved in trafficking and she showed up I knew shit was about to go down. My heart was racing when I saw her with Schmitt. I really thought she was going to attack him with how sus she was being, luckily she had to go to avoid further suspicion. They need to put security on those girls' door. They've been through enough. If she goes to finish off Bob then no one cares but the girls don't deserve to go through anything else and Deluca after seeing her decided to go after him himself instead of calling the police, granted the police wasn't doing anything helpful but the last thing we need is for him to go after her himself like Superman and trying to save the day. At least Carina went with him so she can help talk him down if necessary but there's only so much she can do.

___________________________________________

There are too many damn superheroes in that hospital.

___________________________________________

My questions are:

• Will both Tom and Meredith make it out of the Covid sickness or will one or even both of them die?

• Will Teddy finally make her mind up so that the Teddy, Tom and Owen love triangle can finally have an ending?

• Who the hell is coming to the beach next? And can they tell Meredith to get her ass off of the beach and never return until she's like 80?

• Will Superman, I mean Deluca save the day without needing medical attention afterwards? Or worst yet needing a casket?

• Is Jo actually switching specialties?

• Are they going to go after the girls or kill Bob instead?

• How is it going to go with Maggie and Winston now that he has arrived in person?

• And lastly and most importantly what am I supposed to do with my Thursday nights until March 4th.

[myshawningstar]

My Morphine

Summary: You are driving home from work one day in a rainstorm and lose control of your car. The world goes dark and when you open your eyes again you are greeted with a beautiful sight in front of you.

Word Count:

Request: “can u do a doctor! shawn fic? ur amazing bye ❤️”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, broken bones and car crashes as well as medical procedures.

Your car jerks, wheels gliding along the thin layer of water between your car and the road. You hated driving in rainstorms as you always had the fear of hydroplaning, yet here you were doing just that. You knew there wasn’t much you could do in this situation. You knew the only thing could do when hydroplaning was take your foot off the gas, keep your steering wheel as straight as possible, and try to slow down without using your brakes. Unfortunately for you, you were currently at the top of a hill driving down, so this only made your car pick up speed. At the bottom of the hill was a three-way intersection.

You were only a few blocks from home, a small apartment that you just recently moved into. As your car approached the intersection at the bottom of the hill, you decided that it was best if you just coasted through it; so you did. As you reached the intersection, there was a young woman crossing the street who happened to be in the course of your car. Your eyes widened, you were going to hit the poor girl if you didn’t do something. You let your instincts take over as you slammed on your brakes, steering away from the woman.

Big mistake.

You almost immediately lost control of your car as it swerved towards a lamp post, the momentum from the turn almost causing your car to flip. There’s a loud crunching, something hits you in the back of the head, and glass shatters as you are jarred to a very sudden stop. The world is spinning around you, your vision is blurred, your head hurts but it’s nothing compared to the pain shooting through your leg. You glance down to see blood all over your jeans.

“Are you okay?” The woman called, though her voice was practically drowned out by a loud ringing in your ears.

You open up your mouth to respond when you hear a loud, bloodcurdling scream. You looked around to try to figure out where the noise was coming from, but it was only then that you realized that the scream was coming from your own mouth.

 “It’ll be okay, I’m going to call an ambulance!” The woman yelled over your screams.

You feel hot, wet tears falling from your eyes as you let the pain and frustration get to you. There’s a bittersweet smell filling the air around you, suddenly you can’t breathe. It was a suffocating, sickeningly sweet smell. You knew that smell. It was Brad fluid leaking from your car. Your heart begins to race, you’re terrified that this was the end. This was how you die, in a flipped car, asphyxiated on chemical fumes and bleeding out. You pass out, the smell and the pain from your leg overwhelming you.

—

When you’re pulled into consciousness again, it’s when you hear the sound of the sirens bouncing off the walls of the large brick building in the ambulance bay of the hospital. You practically force your eyes open slightly as the doors to the ambulance open. The flashing lights from the ambulance hurt your barely open eyes and you shut them, wishing they would stop.

Once you had finally managed to block out the noise of the sirens, you could hear a voice. By the way he was speaking, you could safely assume he was a paramedic.

“Jane Doe, looks to be around her 20’s. She lost control of her car and crashed into a traffic light.” He reported.

“What’s her stats like?” A different voice spoke. This had to be a doctor, you could tell by the way he had taken control of the situation.

“Her bpm is 78 over 80, she’s been in and out of consciousness, and there’s uneven breath sounds on the left side.” The paramedic answered.

“Thank you. Page ortho!” The man called.

That’s when you saw him. The person who the voice belonged to. He was beautiful, like a Greek god.

“Let’s get her to trauma one!”

He was a tall young man with loose, brown curly hair. His face was gorgeous, sharp jawline, brown eyes, huge, yet concerned, smile. He was like a walking cliche of a hot doctor on a medical show. He has on black scrubs with a long sleeve white shirt rolled up to his elbows underneath. There is a stethoscope around his neck and a pen poking out of his pocket that was located on his peck. He doesn’t look any older then twenty five, which was only a few years older then yourself. You quickly realized you were staring, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to look away. He was like the real life version of Dr. McDreamy!

“Hey there, I’m Doctor Mendes.” Said the man with the god-like complexion. It was only then that you realized that you were no longer outside the hospital, instead you were inside a room. There were multiple doctors moving about the room, but your eyes only followed one. “You’re at New Eden Medical Center, we’re going to take care of you sweetheart.” Doctor Mendes spoke once again.

You felt your heart flutter in your chest as he spoke, he called you sweetheart. You opened your mouth, gathering every bit of strength you could muster and spoke. “Y/n.. L- L/n.”

“What’s happening? Her heart rate just shot through the roof!” A different man said.

“I can’t stop this bleeding, she’s losing a lot of blood.”

“We need to get her to surgery, stat!”

The room around you seemed fuzzy, it got darker every second. You fought to keep your eyes open as a loud, annoying buzzing sound was in your ear, almost like a heart flatlining. You didn’t want to see the beautiful man leave, but evidently, you gave in to the darkness.

—

When you returned to consciousness, you were greeted by a bright light, along with the sound of a loud, steady beeping, almost like an alarm clock.

Your eyes were heavy, and you struggled to keep them open, you didn’t know where you were. This wasn’t your house, this wasn’t your bed. Where the hell were you?!

You began to panic, looking around the room. There was a small tv in the corner, a chair next to the bed you were in. You quickly came to the conclusion that it was a hospital room. Your eyes shot towards the door as you heard footsteps approach.

“Hey there- you gave me quite a scare.”

You recognized the man immediately, your heart thudding in your chest as you looked at him. As a result, the beeping from the heart monitor you had been hooked up to quickened.

“Woah, woah. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you Y/n.” The Doctor McDreamy remake walked over to you and rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Holy shit.. you’re really hot.” You said before you had a chance to think about it.

He chuckled. “I see the meds haven’t worn off yet.” He smiled. “It’s good to see that you’re able to speak.”

“Why wouldn’t I be able to?” You asked.

“Well, we had to preform CPR, so I’d imagine your chest is sore.”

You stayed quiet for a second. He wasn’t wrong, your chest did hurt a bit, but that seemed to be the only thing you could really feel. “What happened to me?”

“You got into a crash. You’ve broken your femur, and a few of your ribs. You also have a minor concussion, but that’s all, other than your cuts and bruises.” Dr. Mendes told you.

You nodded, processing everything he had told you. It was a lot to take in.

“Do you have anyone we can call?” He asked.

You shook your head. “No.. I’m alone.”

What you said was true; you were alone. As a child you spent your life in foster homes, waiting for the day when someone would finally adopt you; but it never came. You had moved just over a week ago to this town, and you knew no one. You were alone.

Dr. Mendes frowned, nodding slightly as he sat on the edge of your bed, gently resting his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry to hear that. But I want you to know that you’re not alone. You have me.”

You let out a hollow laugh, tears filling your eyes. “I don’t even know you.” You whispered, letting the silent tears roll down your cheeks.

“I’m Shawn Mendes. I’m one of the best surgeons here at New Eden Medical Center.” Shawn told you. “Now, you may not know me well, but you know me.” He smiled reassuringly.

“I just want to go home.” You cried softly, shaking your head as you looked down.

“Hey, hey, listen to me.” Shawn spoke softly, his hand sat gently under your chin as he tilted your head up to look at him. “I know you want to go home.” He soothed. “We just need to keep you here for a few more days for surveillance, then I’ll take you home myself.” He promised.

“Isn’t that against some sort of doctor code or something..?” You sniffled.

Shawn chuckled, cupping your face in his large, calloused hands as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs.

“It is, yes. But you said yourself, you have no one, or rather, you had no one. Now you have me.”

“But what about your jo-..”

“I’ll have to transfer off your case, but I’ll be in here every second I can be. Okay?” Shawn seemed to know what you were going to say before you even finished.

“Okay..” You nodded slightly, relaxing in the man’s arms.

“Now, you should get some rest. You need it.” Shawn smiled as he slowly pulling his hands away from your face.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” You asked worriedly, not wanting to be alone again.

“Of course.”

That’s all the confirmation you needed, you smiled as you shut your eyes, sighing softly as you relaxed in the bed. “Thank you, Shawn.” You whispered.

“Of course. It’s my job.”

That was the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep.

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – The Arena

A/N – I finally came back to this, my poor abandoned baby.  As usual, a special thanks to @rocksinmuffin​​ without whom, this story wouldn’t exist.

Warnings – Minor suicide mention.

Rating – T

“That is the cruellest thing I have ever seen you do,” Swerve glowered at you.

“It had to be done. There was nothing else for it,” You replied nonchalantly.

“RODNEY DID NOTHING WRONG.”

“He existed.”

“SO YOU JUST KICKED HIM OUT FOR EXISTING?”

“Look, you get to choose your Animal Crossing villagers, and I get to choose mine.”

“Abuse them, more like,” Swerve pouted.

“Fine, do you want to play on the switch and adopt an ugly-ass hamster who does nothing but bitch all day?” You asked, holding the console out to Swerve.

He took it from you, placing it on the tallest shelf in the hab-suite, “You can have this back when you learn kindness, you monster.”

“… That’s just mean,” You said, looking despondently at the shelf which was labelled No Man’s land. Beside the switch was a copy of Harry Potter which had been removed from you until you could read it without yelling at Snape every time you saw his name, and several pictures of Getaway which you had scrawled insults on; Swerve wasn’t punishing you for those, he just liked admiring them every now and then while you worked on new insults to scribble.

“Okay, fine, you can have it back right now, if you say that hamsters are cute,” Swerve grinned.

“Clearly, you’ve never seen one in real life. They work for the devil and steal people’s souls. I’m ninety percent sure that they also have armies ready to-”

Pain wracked your body and you woke up screaming to find your captors prodding you with weapons akin to cattle prods but much larger and stronger. It was the same creatures that had captured you.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” You yelled through the pain.

The humanoids didn’t reply, staying eerily silent; you wondered whether they were even capable of communication in a way that you might understand.

“All right, that’s enough… For now,” A human called, stepping forward, looking completely out of place among the others.

Your captors backed away, leaving you alone with the human on the opposite side of the cell. You glared at the woman, who couldn’t have been older than thirty. She wore acidic green armour that bore a symbol of a decapitated robotic head with wires and cables sticking out from the neck; the ensemble made you nervous.

“So… You’re our newest contestant. How dull,” She commented boredly, examining you.

“Contestant? What do you mean?” You asked fearfully.

Once again, you were left without a reply as the woman pulled out a dictation machine and began talking into it as if you weren’t there. “Subject is of questionable build. A Minibot. No definable insignia – probably a NAIL. Presumably no fighting skill of which to speak. No weapon attachments that can be seen. One noticeable draw to the crowds is that it’s a female – a rarity in itself.”

“Oh my God, are you- Fuck, are you putting me in the hunger games?” You demanded incredulously.

“The bot uses organic terms in communication. It’s possible that it has spent much of its time around organic communities rather than with its own kind.”

Although you knew you could argue that you weren’t originally a Cybertronian, you decided that it probably wouldn’t get you very far with your captor; she was clearly only interested in her job, whatever that was. You doubted that you would get anywhere talking to her.

“So that’s it? You’re going to put me into an arena to fight? Did I get it right? Hey! HEY, I��M TALKING TO YOU. YEAH, BITCH WITH THE BAD HAIR, YOU!”

The childish attempt at an insult earned you a bemused glance, and the woman paused the dictation machine.

“You ought to mind your manners, or you’ll be in a much worse condition before the fight, and that will only bore the spectators,” She warned you.

“I’ll behave, if you at least tell me your name. I’d like to know who I’m insulting.”

Your roguish attitude earned a sadistic smile; it wasn’t every-day that your captor met a Cybertronian with any spirit left, “Lady Ouida.”

“Stupid name,” You murmured, mostly to hide your fear. “So I’m right about this being a colosseum of sorts?”

“Yes. You are to fight in the arena.”

“And if I win, I go free?”

“No. If you win, we kill you anyway. The people are out for Cybertronian blood after all.”

“Wow… That’s so fucking stupid. Like for real, did you take this out of a book? It’s not very creative is it? How many movies have you seen where the hero is thrown into a death ring to battle? Plus, there’s not going to be much of a fight. I mean, look at me. My arms are all fucked up from your bodyguards, I’m clearly not a fighter, and I’m like only three feet taller than you. Factor in multiple opponents and you get a five-minute fight, tops which will mostly be me running for my life.”

“You don’t seem too concerned with your fate.”

“Bitch, I am terrified, but I’ve seen death and been dragged back from it. I have defined the meaning of an out of body experience. Right now, I am competing with forces that you cannot even imagine in a brain that was not meant for me. In other words, there is nothing you can do that is worse than what I’ve been dealing with for the last forty-eight hours so GET FUCKED.”

The words PERSONALITY MALFUNCTION appeared on your visor, and you knew they were true. In your human form, you tended to avoid confrontation where you could. However, faced with the prospect of unavoidable death, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were only two options left for you anyway. Die in an arena, or wait for the Lost Light to come to your rescue. As you stared into the grinning face of Lady Ouida who had developed a sudden interest in you, you hoped it was the latter.

Chromedome sat miserably in the brig, having been put there for attempting to forcibly alter Swerve’s memory banks with mnemosurgery. He had lost count of how many times he had been in that exact scenario, where mnemosurgery was the only way forward, but nobody else would see it that way. How many times had Rewind refused to talk to him because of it? How often had he been forced to alter Rewind’s memory afterwards so he wouldn’t leave him? Chromedome held his head in his servos, thinking of Rewind. He wouldn’t believe it if Chromedome said it was all for Swerve. So what if mnemosurgery felt good, as long as it helped people it wasn’t that bad. Sure there were risks, but there were risks to all sorts of things that people did anyway.

With nothing else to do but think of his failure, Chromedome waited despondently in his cell, with the faintest of hopes that Rewind might deign to visit him, even if it was just to yell.

Ultra Magnus watched the security footage stoically from the computer panel in his office. As well as Chromedome, he was also watching Swerve, who had been restrained for his own safety and was sobbing loudly, screaming your name, and Whirl who was in the med-bay, awaiting yet another energon transfusion. Of the three, Whirl worried Ultra Magnus the most; he was not taking well to Ratchet’s surgery. He had damaged one of his internal components beyond repair and it was now up to Perceptor to create a suitable replacement. The replacement would undoubtedly need constant maintenance for the rest of Whirl’s life if he survived, but it was the only way forward.

Ultra Magnus looked up as the door flew open, and Rodimus came barging in.

“THIS IS A DISASTER!” Rodimus roared.

For once, Ultra Magnus didn’t have the spark to placate Rodimus; he was right, everything was going disastrously.

“WHIRL IS DYING. CHROMEDOME IS ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP. REWIND BLAMES ME FOR WHATEVER REASON. SWERVE IS SUICIDAL AND (Y/N) IS MISSING. Please tell me you have something that might help fix this mess?”

“I do not,” Ultra Magnus replied quietly. He had never felt like such a failure. Under his watch, everything had gone wrong. The Magnus armour was getting heavier every day; he didn’t deserve to wear it.

“FRAG! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? SHE COULD BE IN DANGER. THE ROD POD’S TRACKING SYSTEM IS FRAGGED. THE CREW ARE FURIOUS. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE-”

“OUT OF THE WAY, COMING THROUGH,” Nightbeat’s voice called in the corridor as he weaved through the few bots out there and made his way into the office with Megatron close behind him.

“Rodimus. Ultra Magnus,” Megatron greeted professionally, before gesturing for Nightbeat to take over.

“I FOUND (Y/N),” Nightbeat began ecstatically, completely missing the sombre atmosphere.

“What? How?” Rodimus asked, dumbfounded.

“I watched the Rod-Pod’s ejection from the bay and followed it through the security cameras. After that, it was simply a matter of predicting several plausible trajectory’s considering that (Y/N) isn’t a pilot-”

Rodimus waved his arms, “Forget I asked. Just tell me where she is.”

Nightbeat ignored his disappointment that the big reveal had been ruined; it had taken a lot of work for him to covertly listen to all the radio stations where you might have landed and then locate you from that. “She’s on a privately owned planet called The Arena.”

“The… The Arena?”

Megatron nodded solemnly, “Yes. My research tells me that they capture stray Cybertronians and-”

“Don’t tell me. They put them in the arena ‘cos they think that’s creative… Primus, that’s annoying. All right, plan time. We change course, go to The Arena, break in, rescue (Y/N) and make everything go back to normal. Any questions?”

Megatron took a moment to consider the plan, “How-”

“No? Great. Then let’s go. We’ve got work to do.” Rodimus transformed and drove out of the office to head to Brainstorm’s lab. He had brushed it off with his usual casual demeanour but just like everyone else, he was furious that anyone would want to hurt you. If he was going to rescue you, he would need weapons; the morally-grey kind that Brainstorm made.

Swerve sniffled, feeling pathetic as coolant that he couldn’t wipe away under his constraints dripped down his front. Yet another failed suicide attempt to go on his record; he couldn’t even do that right. He remembered the last time he had done something so drastic, when you had come to save him from himself; you had probably only married him out of pity. Despite the depressing thought, Swerve found himself unable to believe it. You had married him because for some reason that he didn’t understand, you loved him. The two of you had spent one year married and it had been the best year of Swerve’s life. When you brought up the idea of sparklings on your anniversary, Swerve couldn’t believe that life could be any better, and now after all of that you were gone.

Although Swerve longed to wallow in self-pity, he couldn’t help thinking of Chromedome. It seemed that his last conversation was finally sinking into Swerve’s processor. What was it he had said exactly? Swerve vented air through his systems, calming himself so he could isolate the memory file.

“YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT (Y/N)!”

While it was true that Chromedome could have just said that to stop Swerve from ending his life, there was also a slim possibility that Chromedome really did have new information about you.

Swerve kept replaying the memory’s audio, listening for the truth. As a bartender, he liked to believe he was good at separating lies from the truth, but when the other bots were sober, he wasn’t very good at it.

“(Y/N)…” Swerve whispered your name, wondering what he might not know about you as of that moment.

What if you had come back and he was wallowing in his cell, too wrapped up in himself to know about it? It wasn’t possible. If you were back, it didn’t matter what state Swerve was in; he would have been taken to you. Unless…

Swerve struggled to sit up, his processor racing with endless possibilities pertaining to your fate. What if he hadn’t been taken to you because your new body was failing? What if you were dying and Swerve wasn’t there? What if he was the only one that could help you?

Unbalanced as he was, Swerve managed to stand up. He started kicking at the door, yelling as loud as he could.

“HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! TAKE ME TO MY WIFE! TELL ME WHERE (Y/N) IS!”

Swerve didn’t pay much heed to what he was saying. All he cared about was getting to you, no matter what it took.

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[bravonovel]

A Surrogate For Billionaire - Julianna Kennedy & Ryan Winston - Read Online - Bravonovel

A Surrogate For Billionaire

https://www.bravonovel.com/a-surrogate-for-billionaire-8232

A Surrogate For Billionaire novel is a Romance story about Julianna Kennedy and Ryan Winston.

Julianna Kennedy is a 20 year old university student and the sole caretaker of her seven year old little brother, who suffers from lung cancer. She can’t afford the money needed for his surgery, so the only option she has is to become a surrogate for a rish stranger.Ryan Winston is a handsome 24 year old billionaire with a cold heart. Because of his grandparents’ need to see a great grandchild before they die, Ryan is forced to hire a surrogate. But neither Julianna nor Ryan ever expected they were fated to be with each other. 

You can read A Surrogate For Billionaire novel on Bravonovel Web or App.

A Surrogate For Billionaire novel Chapter 1

~ Julianna ~

“Juli are you alright?” I heard my little brother Noah’s voice. I wanted to cry. After all, I’ll never be alright without him because I have no money to spend on his disease. Shit.

“I’m alright darling. What do you wanna eat?” I asked him as he came to me and hugged me. 

“I need bread with cheese Juli” I looked down at his small body and my heart tightened because how am I supposed to save him? I love him and I can’t even think about a day without him. I smiled at him and nodded before going into the kitchen. After breakfast, I went to the hospital with Noah. As I entered the hospital I saw doctor Peterson. He was one who did and helped everything about Noah. 

“Good morning little one,” He said with a smile and Noah giggled happily because he really liked this doctor Peterson. 

“Good morning Pete” Noah joked as he ran towards the doctor. Then he picked up Noah and nodded at me before going into Noah’s ward. After some time doctor Peterson came.

“Julianna, can I talk to you for a moment?” He asked and I nodded but this is the thing that I fear the most in this life. I have no idea what the doctor wants to tell me but I knew it was all about Noah’s health. Maybe the news will be good or bad but I was just scared.

“Noah’s health is getting worse. We should do the surgery as soon as possible” My heart shattered into pieces as I heard him. Unintentionally tears welled in my eyes. Why did this happen to us?

“Julianna, I know you have money problems. I’m so sorry” Doctor Peterson patted my shoulder. I sighed because no matter what, I’m going to find the money for his surgery and make him better. 

“Doctor I’ll find money,” I said as I wiped my tears. 

“You have a maximum of ten months. It will be great if you could find it soon” I nodded and looked at Noah through the glass wall and he was smiling at a nurse while chatting. I can’t let anything happen to him because he’s the only person that I have. 

“Noah should stay in the hospital from today onwards.” I was still looking at Noah. He’s just so cute and he will be a handsome man in the future so as his sister I should just protect him. 

“Alright doctor” With that I went into Noah’s ward and sat on the bed next to him.

“Am I dying Juli?” I forced my tears back because I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I smiled forcefully and took him onto my lap as I started to caress his silky dark brown hair. 

“No. You’re going to recover so soon okay?” I kissed his head and rested my chin on his head.

“That’s great” He started to giggle. I clenched my jaws because I didn’t want to cry. My heart was hurting and it felt like someone was squeezing my heart so tightly.

“I love you so much Noah,” I said while kissing his little cheek. 

“I love you so much more Juli” With that, he kissed my forehead. I bit my lower lip so hard because of the pain I’m feeling in my heart but no pain could match the pain in my heart. 

“Noah, you have to stay here for a few months. Is it okay darling?” I asked and Noah nodded with a happy smile. 

“I will play with Pete all day,” He said while jumping. I smiled at him and got up to leave.

“But Juli you will come to see me every day, right?” He pouted while biting his little lips. 

“Yeah. I will” With that I left the hospital and went home. I had to go to university but my mind was in a mess so I went straight home. After I came home I jumped onto the bed and started to cry because I was tired and I was scared for Noah’s life. 

After I was done crying I went into the bathroom and washed my face and changed into new clothes. Then I heard a knock on the door and went to open the door. As I opened the door I saw aunty Elise. 

“Julianna, you were crying. Weren’t you?” She asked as I smiled forcefully. Then she asked what happened and I told everything that my heart was feeling and about my helplessness. She let out a deep sigh and pulled me to a warm hug. She was really like a mother, always cared for me and Noah but now she’s getting old and I can’t bother her with our things. 

“Juli I’m sorry for telling you this but I can’t stay without even letting you know and I also don’t have much money.” She said with a sigh and I didn’t care about anything and all I wanted was money. I wanted to pay for Noah’s surgery as soon as possible.

“Tell me aunty Elise, at this point, I will do anything for my brother’s life. Even if I have to sell my body” I said as I took her hands and placed them on my chest. 

“I don’t know Juli but I’ll tell you and you make the decision” I nodded at her quickly and she sighed. 

“A wealthy family looking for a surrogate. They want to have an heir as soon as possible and they will pay $100000 to the surrogate” She said and looked at my eyes. My heart tightened and I looked down. A surrogate? So do I have to give birth to a baby for an unknown man? 

“What are their conditions?” I asked. I looked at aunty Elise’s face and I knew she’s sad and she didn’t want to see me like that. She was the woman who taught me to wait until our fated ones and once they came our lives will be blissful. 

“You have everything they need. Beauty, intelligence, and virginity. And you have those things beyond what they expect” I closed my eyes and thought about it carefully. So I have to give my virginity? It’s okay everything will be fine and I’m doing this for my brother. It’s just giving birth to live to save one. 

“I agree. I will be their surrogate but please don’t let Noah know anything about this” I said as I smiled at her. I saw the hurt expression on her face but she nodded at me and smiled forcefully. She really cared about me and I will always be grateful to her. 

“I’ll let them know and take you there.” I nodded as she got up and left. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Is this what's going to happen to our lives, mom? I lost my parents and now I’m suffering because of that loss. Urghh. Everything will be fine as long as Noah is safe and healthy. 

………………………………………………………..  

~ Ryan ~

“Ryan, when are you going to give us a great-grandchild? We are already very close to our deathbed” Urgh.. When can I have a peaceful sleep? Why do they want a great-grandchild? They already have a grandson. 

“I don’t want grandma. I’m not ready to have a child” I said as I got up from my bed and walked towards her. 

“Are you going to die with your virginity? Everyone knows Ryan.. They think you’re gay” My grandmother cried as she hit my chest hard. 

“Ouch grandma it hurts,” I said as she smirked at me and started to cry loudly. Urghh drama queen. Then both my grandfather and father came into my room as they frowned at me.

“See, I only asked for a great-grandchild but he shouted at me” She sobbed while hugging my dad. I sighed and looked at them.

“Ryan, Do our last wish baby.. We want to see a little prince or a princess before we die” It was my grandpa who started to act this time. 

“I don’t have a woman so how am I going to have a baby? I can’t do it alone. You know that fact right?” I said because I wanted them to give up on their last wish.

“Alright, you marry Lidia. She’ll give birth to your baby” What the fuck? Lidia? That cunning and disgusting whore? 

“No. Not her. I don’t like women like her and she sleeps with men every day. Eww,” I let out my disgust and looked at my grandma who suggested it to me. Her face was also covered with disgust.

“Alright then do you have someone you like?” Why can’t they understand me? If I had a woman that I like I would have already fucked her countless times and got her pregnant. 

“NO. I don’t like any woman” I said and looked away from their direction. 

“Oh my god! my poor boy, Is he gay? Are the rumors true?” I heard my grandma’s low voice.

“I’m not gay either,” I said as I looked at her again. She sighed 

“Alright then have a baby, I’ll choose a woman for you with great beauty, intelligence, and especially with virginity.” My heart started to beat so fast as she said that. Why was that? What the fuck?

“I..I..” Before I could finish what I wanted to say grandma cut me off.

“There’s no need for your answer and be ready” With that grandpa and grandma left my room.

…...

Continue to read Chapter 2 of A Surrogate For Billionaire on Bravonovel Web https://www.bravonovel.com/a-surrogate-for-billionaire-8232/chapter-2-193879 

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[haro-whumps]

Group Whumpees: 1. Start

Inspired by this post by @whumping-every-day​ and @justtorturewhump​ about a group of whumpees. I’ve been thinking about it on and off ever since I saw it but I finally got the giddyup to actually write for it

CW: Modern slavery, implied + referenced abuse, death of a minor character, multiple whumpees, transphobia (brief), aftermath of torture/conditioning

--

Galo settled himself into the hospital chair, perfectly comfortable and positioned at a thoughtful angle to the side, opposite the door so physicians could easily enter. He’d intended for this to be a quick visit, but clearly his aunt had other ideas, so he might as well take a seat.

“Here I am on my deathbed!” Auntie Bethany raved, flinging her arm about wildly, and Galo internally winced each time she got too close to jerking on the IV, “Only ONE person comes to visit me! In my whole family!”

To be fair, your whole family is made up of jackasses, Galo thought privately, raising his hands in placation. “Auntie Bethany, please, you were just admitted today. I’m sure plenty of people will show up tomorrow.”

“None of them want to visit me, even when I’m going to die!” she persisted. To be fair, Galo didn’t really want to visit her either. He just… well, she was family. And she was in the hospital. And even though his family was estranged and largely filled with self-centered, arrogant individuals that made any kind of holiday event a stomach ache and a half, he tried not to be. So here he was. 

“You’re not going to die, Auntie Bethany,” Galo said patiently. “You’ve had this surgery before, remember? And you made it through just fine. I bet the same surgeon still works here, even!” Galo tried for a positive tone, cheerful. 

“Ah, you’re such a good niece for your dear old aunt, sweetheart.”

“I’m your nephew, auntie, we’ve been over this,” Galo said through grit teeth, smile significantly more forced now. This is why no one likes you, Galo thought.

“That’s why I’m leaving you all of my estate, darling,” Auntie Bethanie continued like she hadn’t heard him. Galo blinked twice.

“I’m sorry, what?” Galo asked nicely, sticking his pinkie finger in his right ear as though to clear it out. “You’re…”

“I have my lawyer coming to the hospital,” Auntie Bethany said, “Go get me a pair of socks. They keep it so damn freezing in here.”

Galo rose and went to the cabinet, pulling out the soft yellow cloth and helping the socks onto her feet.

“I had planned to split my estate between everyone who showed up, but you’re the only one! So you get the jackpot, you’re welcome!” she said, well, nearly-shouted, as Galo tugged the socks on over the socks she was already wearing, struggling with the tightness. He was strong; daily visits to the gym had his arms thickly muscled, his chest broad, but he wasn’t exactly trying to break his elderly aunt’s foot here, so he couldn’t just shove.

“Thank you, Auntie Bethany,” he said, trying to sound actually grateful and not just tiredly patient. So this was her newest passive-aggressive ploy. After Galo told the rest of the family there was money involved, the others would show up with their plastic smiles and loud voices and then she would get to gripe at how they were only in it for the money, but change the will up anyway to keep them visiting. She liked to play “games” like that. Galo tried very, very hard not to sigh. 

It’d probably keep up after the hospital stay, too, Galo mused as he sat back down in the chair. People showing up to her home with flowers and wine and “earnest” attempts to make sure she was recovering just fine. Honestly, who knew how long she could drag this out? Her poor lawyer. He hoped she was at least paying them well.

The lawyer did, in fact, arrive, and Galo quietly apologized each time his aunt criticized or scolded the poor man.

“You’re uh, gonna need to use my legal name,” Galo said, handing him his driver’s license. “Not the uh, childhood nickname she keeps calling me.”

The lawyer gave him a sympathetic pat, and it was hours after Galo had planned that he finally managed to get out from under his aunt’s endless conversation and go home already. He sighed, dropping his coat on the floor of his small apartment’s entryway. For all that he was competent, intelligent, and good with organizational skills and the like; Galo had not been particularly successful in his life. He was good with people and good with life skills, he just. 

Bluh!

Bluh bluh bluh! Now was not the time for a pity party, or else he’d turn into his aunt. He played an hour of his most recent video game, an open-world with a semi-voluntary plot, before turning in for the night. He should think about investing in a rabbit or something. He could eek out the money, and his apartment got awfully lonely, with just him, a computer, and a potted plant.

In the morning, he knew he should email his family and let them know Auntie Bethany wanted visitors, and she was messing around with her will. He should. A good son, nephew, brother, and cousin would. But then his dad would call him, asking for specifics (it never mattered how many specifics Galo put in the email. His dad would always call and ask for more), and that would mean talking to his dad and he really, really wasn’t ready for that, at the moment. Or at all. He could do it later. It wasn’t like Auntie Bethany was actually dying, after all, she was just up to her hysterics again. And god, if Galo’s sister or brother decided they wanted more than just an email… if they decided to “pop in” after visiting their aunt and gloat to Galo about how now it was their names on the will…

Oh and don’t even get Galo started on what Uncle Mike would do. He was a bigger attention whore than Auntie Bethany.

So he just… didn’t write. Didn’t call. Nothing that big was happening, they could afford to wait a few days before feeding into Auntie Bethany’s weird games. She could probably use a little disappointment for the first time in her spoiled, nasty life anyway.

Galo took a deep breath and covered his face with his broad palm. He shouldn’t think like that. That was uncalled for. Auntie Bethany was a fine person, she was just rude, and loud, and inconsiderate. But she was family. He should be polite. But, still, it would be fine if she had to wait a little while for everyone to get in on her weird ploys.

So imagine Galo’s surprise when the hospital called him after work, letting him know his aunt had, unfortunately, not made it through her surgery.

--

Her mansion (and that’s really the only word that could describe it, though “castle” was more fitting, in Galo’s opinion (it had an estate garden, who has an ‘estate garden’?!?!)) was huge. Galo had made that observation before, of course, every time he’d spent the weekend as a kid and the couple of times he’d visited during a family gathering. He couldn’t really believe it was his. The castle, the pool, the garden, all of her badass furniture he’d been warned to keep off of as a kid, her hella entertainment system that he honestly couldn’t wait to hook his game consoles up to. Didn’t she also own slaves? He wasn’t certain; he tended to get as drunk as possible as fast as possible at family gatherings, in order to survive said family gatherings, but he was pretty sure she’d mentioned putting away her servants for the evenings since they were “eyesores” or some shit. And he definitely remembered her having one when he was a kid, a glass-eyed guy only about a decade older than Galo himself.

Whatever. He unlocked the front door with her keys, attached to his keychain now, and took in the familiar foyer. He should go upstairs and check if her turquoise guest room was the same as when he was younger. It had an en suite bathroom with a bath the size of a hot tub, and it could definitely serve as his new master bedroom. Auntie Bethany’s had been the size of a ballroom, and he really didn’t need all that space (or to sleep in the same bed his dead aunt had slept in, guh).

“Mistress, w--” a thin woman with pale hair and over-wide eyes entered swiftly, then flinched back, grinding to a halt when she saw Galo.

“S-Sir, I’m sorry sir, but our mistress is out at the moment. You will have to visit her at a later time.”

“Oh, uh, I’m, not a home invader,” Galo assured, setting his little potted plant down near the antique vase his aunt had boasted about so frequently. The poor lady was trembling visibly, though he had to give her credit for not screaming and calling the police upon seeing a stranger enter her home. He probably should’ve called out and introduced himself when he let himself in; he’d just been thinking about how Auntie Bethany had kept slaves. “My aunt had a relapse, recently, and was admitted to the hospital yesterday. Uh, her surgery didn’t go so well,” Galo said, rubbing at the back of his neck. He needed to shave down his undercut, he thought rather inanely. “She didn’t make it. I uh, I’m sorta the sole inheritor of her estate? For the time being; at the funeral I’m sure we’ll get into plenty of arguments,” he said with a forced chuckle. 

“My name’s Galo,” he greeted, extending his hand to the woman.

He was a little taken aback when she genuflected and kissed his palm, dropping fluidly and with unexpected grace. “Oh, uh, okay,” he said, cupping her face and stroking a thumb over her cheekbone. Except, whoops, that was the wrong thing to do, he realized, since her face contorted and her whole body locked up.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you,” Galo said, pulling his hand away immediately. She went down on both knees and pressed her forehead to the floor, further confusing Galo, her movements still fluid as silk.

“I apologize, Master. I reacted poorly.”

“No, no,” Galo rushed to reassure, his words making her flinch. “You’re good, you’re fine, it’s alright,” he tried, and that went over a little better. 

“I apologize if I have angered you, Master.”

“You--didn’t. I’m just, surprised is all.” He bent down and touched his fingers very lightly against the back of her hand, and he noted that she flinched again. Okay. Probably a trauma response. His aunt had likely picked her up from somewhere bad, but that was alright. He had significantly more emotional intelligence than Auntie Bethany; he was better suited to help this kind of person than she was. Would have been.

“Will you tell me your name?” Galo asked, voice intentionally calm and reassuring.

“...” He watched her swallow, his brows furrowing. Did she… not know her own name? “Whatever pleases Master best,” she eventually answered.

“Oh,” Galo said, voice soft and pitying. “No, that’s alright. You can tell me what you’d like to be called.”

“I--wouldn’t, be presumptuous, Master, and put words in your mouth.” Man, she was shaking like a leaf. He would definitely be stuttering, if he was that scared.

But a direct approach clearly wasn’t going to work, here, he couldn’t just do it over and over again and expect different results. He’d come at this from a different angle.

“You’re so obedient,” he praised, stroking a finger down her fingers and along the back of her hand, light as a feather. “You’re very good, you were trained to answer just like that, weren’t you?”

“Yes Master,” she said, sounding relieved. Good. 

“But right now, what I’m asking for is your name. If you don’t like the one Auntie Bethany called you, that’s fine, you can pick something else, but I’m not going to think of one for you, okay? I need you to do that, now,” Galo said patiently, feeling a little silly for talking to a grown adult in the same tone he might take with a crying child, but, well. Trauma response.

“Nyla, Master.”

“Good girl, Nyla.” He heard her breath of relief, and tapped the backs of his knuckles against her hand. “Stand up for me?” he asked, slipping his hands underneath her palms. He rose, and she stood with him, again with that eerie grace, pretty much none of her weight against his hands, although he had intended to help her up. 

“So, is there anyone else here I should meet?” Galo asked, smiling patiently at Nyla who did not meet his eyes at all. “That other guy. Gr… G-something.”

“Greyson, if it pleases you Master.”

“That’s it! He still around?”

“Yes Master. I can fetch the others for you, Master, and bring them to wherever you’d prefer to inspect us.”

“Uh,” Galo blinked twice. Okay. Nyla was clearly going to require a lot of delicacy, and while he was definitely equipped to do that, he wasn’t fast. “Sure, how about you get the others in the--” No, not the living room, the furniture in there was all tiny and mostly just for her weird 60’s aesthetic, “--den.”

He mentally added “den” onto his brand new list of things that made Nyla lock up. He should probably turn it into a physical list, at some point, since he was going to live with her now, and it was important to make note of things like this.

But the damage was done, and maybe this would be a good way to show her his aunt’s den wasn’t like… whatever it was, that she’d experienced before here.

His den. It wasn’t his aunt’s anymore. Auntie Bethany was dead.

It was a weird feeling, he thought to himself as he grabbed his potted plant and went upstairs to the guest bedroom that was, in fact, still just as cool as he remembered it. He set it on the windowsill of his house. It was a weird feeling, a really weird feeling, that someone he’d known all his life was suddenly… gone.

He didn’t miss her. He didn’t like her, and they certainly hadn’t been close. He wasn’t mourning her. But. Hm. His grandparents had all died before he could remember them, so he hadn’t really had a death in the family before. It was strange and almost-melancholy, thinking that his aunt would never again walk through this place. Would never hassle him about his hair at family gatherings ever again, or complain about the TV being too quiet, or eat cantelope with her mouth open.

He shook himself. He had other people to say hello to and introduce himself to. He gave his cheeks two smart pats and left the room, mentally plotting where he would put his own personal effects. And ugh, he had to get rid of that weird hall painting. Actually, why not just do that now; he was there and it was large, but if he gripped under the frame on top he could sorta-shoulder-carry it down the stairs. The weight wasn’t much of an issue. He was a particularly buff stud, after all.

“Oh, there’s more of you than I expected,” he mentioned offhand, reaching the den. Five slaves stood at strict attention, ignoring the human-sized furniture he’d intended them all to sit on, including a girl who couldn’t possibly be older than twenty. He stared at her, a muted horror not quite breaking past the shock. She was absolutely covered in bruises. Some were purple, some yellowing, some bright red and fresh, hardly older than two or possibly three days.

“Oh god,” he breathed, very, very deliberately reminding himself to move slowly as he approached her. Poor thing! Had she fallen? The bruises differed in age too much for that. He reached out a hand to her, slowly, well within her field of vision, but she still flinched.

“Master!” Nyla interrupted before he could touch. “That one is Lilah, she’s the gardener for the estate.”

A little thing like her? The whole estate? Using the machinery needed to keep up with a yard this big, no wonder she was covered in injuries! She was way too small to be handling stuff that could hurt her like this!

“Nice to meet you, Lilah,” Galo said gently, extending his hand again, just as slow and careful as the first time. Lilah sank to one knee, almost as fluid as Nyla, and kissed his palm, which. Alright! Cool! Sure! Maybe Auntie Bethany had gotten Nyla and Lilah together? 

Galo gave her a single, quick pat on her head, not wanting a repeat of whatever distress he’d caused Nyla in the foyer. Lilah was tan and freckled, with sunbleached brown hair, and wow, yikes, she was so small. Galo swallowed and turned to the next person in the lineup.

“Greyson,” Galo greeted with a smile. He looked a lot like he had when Galo was younger, just sorta gaunt now. Reddish-brown hair that was only just starting to sprout a handful of gray hairs, tall and skinny with knobby hands. “Remember me?”

“I do, Master Galo,” Greyson said with a bow, hand raised to his chest, and Galo chuckled.

“Good to see you again, dude. It’s been years,” Galo said, leaving his hands in his pockets. He’d already met this guy, however long ago that it might have been.

“It has, Master, I am delighted to see you again,” Greyson said, monotone and still bowing, but Galo was inclined to believe him. Greyson had always been like this, as near as he remembered.

“Look a little different than last time, huh?” Galo asked with a proud grin. Greyson lifted his head and quirked a very, very small smile of his own.

“I believe you’ve put some weight on, Master.”

Galo made note of how everyone else in the room tensed up at Greyson’s words, but he also laughed. “You bet I have,” Galo bragged, flexing an impressive bicep, before taking a mental red sharpie and writing DON’T DO THAT around the action in big letters. Lilah looked like she might cry.

He’d have to catch up with Greyson later. Or, well, get to know the guy? He hadn’t had much interest in the man when he was a kid, more preoccupied with the pool and old movie collection. He turned to the next person, a man closer to his own age.

“What’s your name?” Galo asked, calm, friendly smile that he used during work on his face.

“Evan, if it please you.” Evan had fluffy dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and strong, handsome features. 

God, everyone here was really formal. Greyson, he got. Again, the man had always been like that, but man. They sounded like they all came out of those weird books Auntie Bethany was always reading.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Evan,” Galo said, doing a little wordplay, and Evan lowered his eyes deferentially. Galo lifted his hand to maybe clap him on the shoulder or rub at his own hair or something, but Evan knelt mid-motion and kissed Galo’s hand and okay! Maybe his aunt had been the one with the hand-kissing-thing after all. That was weird as hell to think about, and Galo was gonna try not to.

“This is Sasha, Master,” Nyla stated when Galo turned to the last person in the room, a woman with thick, curly, dark hair and wide blue eyes. She was pale as a ghost. “If you will allow it, she does not speak very well, and I am capable of speaking for her, Master.”

“Okay, sure,” Galo said, not going to push too hard for information on that. And he wasn’t, like, gonna tell them no, either. If this was what made them comfortable, then alright, he could deal with that. “Nice to meet you, Sasha, you don’t need to kiss my hand.”

Sasha nodded tensely, and ugh, maybe he should have let her? Now she was the odd one out. Well, Greyson hadn’t either, so…

Nope, don’t overthink it. Galo could tell there was going to be plenty for him to overthink, moving forward, and he needed to get into the habit of cutting that in the bud right now.

“Alright, so, nice to meet you all,” he already said that. “I’m new, and I’m gonna be honest, the fanciest thing I’ve ever owned is my computer rig, so I’m probably gonna make a couple mistakes in the whole… running an estate, thing, at first. You’re all allowed and encouraged to make suggestions or tell me if I’m doing something stupid on accident, okay?”

It didn’t look like that was okay at all, but Nyla nodded with a “Yes Master” anyway so eh, Galo would take it.

What should he say now? Telling them they were dismissed would make him feel like a hoity toity jackass, but it also felt kind of lame to just… leave it at that. “I’m also a little slow,” he warned, “so please be patient with me. Sometimes I need an extra couple of seconds to think things through.”

“Understood, Master,” Nyla answered again, Evan swallowing nervously at Galo’s words. Yeah, he was definitely going to have to make physical lists of weird observations. Everyone here looked like they had trauma they were processing. Yikes. His aunt was hardly a philanthropist; why would she take in this many skittish people?

His stomach ended up saving him from further floundering, gurgling loudly. Lunch had been so long ago...

“Master, may we prepare dinner for you?” Nyla asked, swaning down to her knees and bowing her head low. 

“Yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m allergic to mushrooms so nothing with those, please.”

“Yes, Master. Is there anything you’d prefer tonight?”

Hm. They seemed to like direction, and giving them a solid lead would probably be kinder than forcing them to think for themselves and worry about what he did or didn’t like. But at the same time, he had no idea what his aunt kept stocked.

“How about pasta with white sauce?” he suggested. Open ended, basic ingredients that they were pretty much guaranteed to have, and easy to make. And relatively quick; he was hungry.

“As you wish, Master.”

“Cool. I’m gonna start going through my aunt’s stuff. Lemme know when it’s ready.”

Galo left the den with a “Yes Master” chasing his heels, and rubbed at the back of his neck. Goddamn, these people were not having a great time. But that was okay. Galo was confident he could help.

Next

[yezzbub]

Idk what this is supposed to be, but I guess this is close to my own character analysis, review and reaction to Between Two Worlds! This is so late but I believe that it's better late than never😂 I'll also try to be as objective as possible (but I think that's gonna be hard especially when I talk about Philip/Phillip😂)

Again this is only about what I think and how I interpreted the series and the characters, no hate lol AND this is really long I swear by the stars :>

A. Title

Okay, so the title 'Between Two Worlds' initially made me think that it's gonna be about two people living in two different worlds and upon watching, I could say I'm partially right😂 so I like how it's suppose to symbolise the lives of two different families living in two different worlds. And when I say worlds it's not literally Earth and Mars, what I meant is like worlds as in how they live their lives.

So the Walfords are in the upper-class of society, they are rich, powerful, famous and feared especially because of their patriarch, Phillip. Their lives include deceiting, scaring, and messing with the lives of other people for their gain and pleasure🥺🥺🥺 in short, this fam is really problematic and chaotic😅

On the other hand, the Greys live a simple life in a simple house in a simple village. They have a loving family, yes, they had problems but it's normal for a family to have some problems.

B. Music

I really really love the music. That piano (I think it's piano) thing that is playing in the opening of every episode gives me the chills, the goosebumps. It makes me feel so many emotions like excitement, fear, and thrill,like it leaves me on the edge of my seat😂😭😂

C. Settings/Location

Deym, the location fits the story. I noticed that the main locations are their homes, it's where they mostly spend their scenes so I'm gonna focus on that. That high-rise apartment where the Walfords live screams privilege, fame, power and wealth. They are indeed powerful, they are at the top of the food-chain lol and they live at the top part of that apartment, a symbolism of their place in society _which is at the top. _I'm pretty sure their place makes them act like how they act all through out the series🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

On the other hand, the Greys' residence is located in a village(?) or subdivision of some sorts which I think is a simple place and a simple house symbolising their simple life that is away from the drama, away from the spotlight. Simple life gives simple problems I suppose😂😭😂😭😂

D. Families: an overview lolzz (Walfords, Greys, Konigs)

So like I've mentioned, the first two families seem to be the exact opposite of one another. Again, for me, the Walfords are so chaotic and so problematic🥺 the actions they did to one another just don't sit right with me, I think it's so twisted. Like it makes me realize how the grudges that people hold against others could make them act like that. It baffles me so much how they could even do that to each other?😳🥺 Are you so so hurt and so mad that you'll let your husband die in front of you and that you would just sit and chill on the stairs while he's suffering? And are you so hurt and so angry with your wife that you would imprison her in a cage so you could get back at her🥺 these people needs to chill and I think they need to let go of their grudges🥺😭🥺😭

For the Greys, well what can I say...they are pretty much normal, like they are how a family should be, what I could call the ideal. Again, they had problems but that problems were addressed and somehow solved🥺 I just like how the matriarch seems to be a perfect mother with a perfect relationship with her kids and the people around her but she's really like everyone else. She made mistakes and she wasn't even aware of the impact of her actions/words to her kids until her daughter mentioned it 🥺 but what I admire the most about her is that she's willing to take responsibility for her actions and to make amends(which I think the Walfords lack hehe)

Lastly, the Konigs. One word to summarize my thoughts about them: ugh. As much as how the Walfords have made a really bad impression on me, I think that these Konigs are worse than them lmao😂😭😂 this fam consists of the dad who is an unfaithful son of a gun who screwed the Walford matriarch and his hoho own daughter. The mom has some mental illness I'm not really sure about the specific illness which made her go to rehabs and kindaaaa drug dependent, and lastly, the daughter, she is a sly and a bad bitch with bad motives connected to bad people. I feel bad for the Konig youngling tho🥺 she's a bitch but I think no one deserves to be treated like how she was treated by her own father...that's a real disgusting act🥺😭🥺 so yeah, ugh.

E. Characters

Imma focus on them 👆 bec why not

1. Phillip Walford 👀👀

My babe, He is the Walford patriarch, he is a rich bastard who heads the Walford empire or whatever, who also suffers from a heart condition that he eventually needed to undergo a heart transplant. He's vicious and cruel and he's an I don't give a shit about your feelings kind of bastard. A man who probably suffered a lot from the trauma he had from his childhood oh poor bub😭😭 I also have every reason to hate him but I don't because I feel bad for him and his face and emotions,, it just makes me wanna hug him lol😂😭😭

He's like "I'm actually a nice guy but don't fuck with me" kind of man. He's also nosy and he sticks his nose to other people's businesses (Bella's plastic surgery) but I think he hates it when other people stick their noses in his business😂😂I love his sassy remarks and his nonchalant attitude especially towards his wife. He has reasonsss, he does that to punish her for something she had done years years ago that was something hehe quite unforgivable but hoho I could feel it and I could see it...I could feel that he is a jealous man who is in dire need of love and affection. That maybe he's actually still craving for her love and affection...but too bad, years of hostility towards each other had slowly burnt away the love they actually have for each other🥺

I like how he felt so bothered after the heart transplant because he felt that he's changing, he's getting softer, and getting more humane which he doesn't like because he thinks that his enemies would exploit that weakness against him🙄 I like how the badness and viciousness is so engraved to his bones and soul that the mere softness he's suddenly showing to those who surrounds him scares him a lot like a lot...

I also think that he really wants to forgive his wife,,,,but maybe his stubborn pride is hindering him from completely forgiving her...I also think that the reason he went out of his way to find his donor is, make a foundation for Danny, and like he really wanted to meet the Greys is because he somehow sees his ideal family when looking at them,,,it's like his what if, and a _I wish _and I think that's sad🥺😭🥺😭

This baby would have his world torn apart if he knew what his wife schemed on him

2.Cate Walford

She's Phillip's wife. I feel sorry for her especially for the first few episodes because her husband does not show her affection and love,,,he doesn't give her his time,,, he's giving her a hard time,,,and when she thought another man is giving her what she craves for,,,,her husband drove this man to his death or so they all thought lolzz I also like how she is actually a caring person, friend, mom, and wife👀👀

I know she did something unforgivable, she watched her husband have a heart attack, BUT she was initially really worried, she panicked like "Oh no, my husband is having a heart attack. What do I do?" Then she remembered that Phillip drove someone to their own death so she went ".....maybe you deserve to die, monster, how does it feel like tasting your own medicine you gave to others??" I don't forgive her for that tho hehe but that gave me a glimpse to what kind of person she really is.

Also, she's a very lucky woman and I'm veryyyy jealous because she has Phillip, a business tycoon and very jelly husband and eventually Dr. Julian, a well-known cardiologist, as her number two👀👀 I like her tandem with Sandra and I just went 🥺😭 when she opened up to her, like a girl talk of some sorts, it must have been so hard for her to keep all her thoughts and her regrets only to herself for a very long time. She's also pretty clever in a sly way because she schemed a plan against her husband to bring him back. Like bring her old husband back, the loving and caring Phillip Walford👀👀 she's determined to have their love back🥺🥺 BUT I JUST KNOW HELL WOULD BREAK LOSE IF AND WHEN PHILLIP FINDS OUT HER SCHEME HOHO

3. Bart Walford

He's the Walford heir and he's handsome but not as handsome as Phillip lol👀👀👀 he's wise and at the same time dumb🤭🙄 Wise because it would probably take some skills and some brains to appease investors to invest in their company and he did that when Phillip wasn't around. Dumb because he fell in love with a bitch with bad motives and he can't see it!!! 😔😔He loves her so much, he's basically blind ugh🥺🥺🥺

But I do admire how he's so ready to face and fight the whole world for Georgia,,, he'll do everything for her,,,he tries so hard to understand everything about her,,,his world seems to revolve around her and I think that's sooo bad😔👀👀 I mean I don't think that you really should make a person your world because if that person betrays and leaves you, your whole world will crumble apart and you're basically fucked🥺😭

As a 'son' , well,,,,he's a pretty nice who helps his 'father' scheme something to bring down threats for their business🤭👀 I like how defiant and fearless he could get when he got fed up with Phillip😂😭😂😭 I also like his relationship with his mom, they're closer than I initially thought and that he even helped her against Phillip🤭👀 so I therefore conclude that badness is not really innate in a person lolol😂😭😂😭

4. Georgia Konig

Ohoho,,, one word to describe her: bitch🙄 she's so good at manipulating people around her to get and do what she wants. She appeals to the emotions of people around her, making them feel sorry for her. I hate her so much. On top of that, she killed her own father,,, I wouldn't really blame her, he's really disgusting...

She wants to get a part of the Walfords' riches so she paved her way in through Bart. I just hate her so much because she's taking advantage of his feelings towards her🙄 little baby doesn't deserve to be treated like that, little baby deserves to be loved for real

To be honest,,, I don't really think she really loves him. I'm pretty sure that she feels something towards Bart but it's not real love, maybe she does like him a lot but she doesn't really really love him. She's just sticking with Bart because of his inheritance because she wants to have some of it and since she knows he's really into her...well,she took advantage of him🙄😭

I like her dry remarks tho, maybe it's just me but she makes me snort and chuckle sometimes. I also like her voice cause I think it's beautiful and really seductive, and really suitable for her character. She plays crazy pretty well for me too👀👀

5. Sandra

Oh, one of my favorite characters! Deym, she is so precious and I love her so much! She is a nurse that worked for the Walfords for a few months. She is bubbly, nice, loving, caring, and fearless. She puts the arrogant and stubborn ass of his boss in place which I love the most! She's not afraid to talk back to Phillip lol😂😭😂😭 she even called him an over privileged white man with anger issues when he's too stubborn while she's caring for him,,, that line was gold😭✊

Behind her smiles and witty remarks, she's actually going through something very hard in her life. Her son got disabled after getting involved in a skateboarding accident, her husband left them because of guilt, and since then she's been taking care of him🥺 which makes the working for the Walfords situation a saving grace for them.

Together with Cate, they schemed something against Phillip. They made him think that he has Danny's heart. She doesn't really want to fool the old man but because she was promised a fortune,,, for her son,,, even if the means weren't good,,, she said yes. It just shows her big respect and big trust on Cate, but I think, however close they are,,, fooling people isn't just in her moral compass so she'd probably get guilty about it😔

6. Sophia Grey

First off,, I think she's a great mom. I like how she really exerted effort to make the right things even if it costs her a lot. However,,apparently she has a trait which makes her act like everything is about her when it's actually not BUT atleast she could swallow her pride and she would actually try to make things right, which I think, deserves an applause👏👏 I mean that's rare for a parent to admit they're wrong👀👀

She's a loving mom, wife, and friend. She's not perfect but she makes effort on making herself a better person which I think the other characters lack lmaoooo😂😭😂😭I like how her love for her children is so big, and she's pretty much a normal mom. She is supportive of her children's shenanigans and all she wants is to see her children happy🥺

If she found out that she got lied to, I think she'll lose her respect for the Walfords👀👀

7. Danny Grey

We only got to see so little about him but here's what I think: he's handsome lol,,, he's athletic of course, a loving son, a loving fiance possibly a real husband material, and a PASSIONATE man! I mean the love he has for his family, his fiance, and his sport is just so great🥺🥺

It's sad how we only got to see so lil about him since his death is the drive of the plot, so okay,,,

8. Bella Grey

Oh, babyyy🥺🥺🥺 she's Danny's sister who's a very veryyyy talented girl! She plays the piano, she's musically inclined, she's pretty, soft, precious, and lovely! I'm gonna fight anyone who says otherwise😤

She felt as if she's only a shadow of his probably popular brother which makes her feel invisible. She thinks she's plain and that she's just sooo thankful that she's talented or else she's just nothing🥺😭🥺😭 I think it's sad how she resorted to plastic surgery to make herself seen and noticed. It's sad how she thought that changing herself would make her seen which made her think that she is the problem but babyyy nooo!! 🥺😭🥺😭

I love her relationship with her mum! They're like bestfriends and it's so lovelyyy🥺💖I love how she has strong intuition noticing and feeling the Walford's patriarch's seemingly uncharacteristic approaches on them👀👀 so yeah, I love her🥺💖

9. Dr. Julian Lee

He's the hot cardiologist of Mr. Walford and Mrs. Walford's number 2 lol😂 he's a well-known doctor so he probably have the skillz and the brains no wonder Cate fell for him. So, he's pretty much a good guy despite having an affair with a married woman because in my eyes he seems to treat her better🥺🥺🥺

I like how he banters with Phillip and their exchange of spicy words are gold👌I see how hurt he was when Cate decided to break up with him because it seems to get better with her husband BUT HE LET HER GO OMG,,, maybe he truly loves her?? Because he just wanted her to be happy?? I really would have wanted to see more of him🥺😔

10. David Starke

He's the coach and he's a widower who fell in love with Sophia Grey. Hmmm,,, he's pretty hot too lmaooo... He's a giant! He's also kind of a low-key asshole,,,

He was pretty okay during the first few episodes, he's always there to give support to the Greys, maybe because he's really a nice guy or maybe it's because he loves Sophia and he sees her as his wife 👀👀 I just kinda hated him when he started being a dick to Bella's friend who was just joking! He said something like he doesn't like his humor and that that kind of humor is the last resort of being likeable if the person is not actually attractive and I was like whut bruh??? WhAt?��🥴

I'd love to see how his relationship with Sophia would continue especially that he was initially jealous of Phillip bec he was tooooo close to her (David doesn't know the reason why) and it was hinted in that godforsaken ending that they learned about the lie,, I would have wanted to see how he would react and how he would confront the Walford patriarch about it😔

11. Mikael

So he's the bearded buff diver guy. He was an ex military (?) and is now a mercenary. He's close to Georgia, I'm not just sure if it's just because of her money or something else. So he's pretty much a fucked up guy. He's clever, he's strong, he's hot, he's handsome, he's scary, and he's probably crazy too.

He does anything and everything, as long as you will pay him his price. He's also the type of guy who you should be afraid of getting on his bad side because he will make sure he would get back at you.

12. Bishop Welles

One of my most hated character, he's an enabler and I hate him😤 he's that calm old bishop who threw shade to Phillip Walford, a well-known business tycoon, during his friend's funeral. Like,,, he's saying that Phillip must have done something driving the death of his friend, Mr. Konig. Making Phillip withdrew all donations to that church lol

He also never believed Georgia's testimonies that she was being raped by her own father and even called her father to get her. He made her life worse.

F. Plot

To be honest, I liked the plot... I love how it started with having glimpses of how these families live their different lives away from each other. I like how the main motif of this series is revenge, greediness, and how family relationship differs,,, I really love how the plot is so new to me that it hooked me up into watching the whole thing making me look forward into it for every week. I remember doing the math so I could watch it live, having a mini heart attack when my Internet was being nuts lagging at the pivoting moments of the show, and squealing every time Philip goes to view lmaooo😂😭😂😭

I honestly like the twists and all, I really liked how the story went until that fucking ending.

8 eps in and I was like 😳 "gosh, there are so many happenings how would everything be resolved for the last two episodes??" and "there are more bombs to be dropped yet hcndkaodns." Then the writer went "haha, nonsense plot twists and cliff hangers go brr" and he basically ruined a good show I HATE IT SO MUCH. Maybe IF they're gonna renew the series and will have a season 2 where everything would be actually resolved like how a decent plot happens, then okay, I'll forgive you, Mr writer. But leaving us, the viewers, hanging like that after that wtf kind of ending is just too cruel and just too selfish 😔✊ I even recommended this show to my friends and they're pretty fine with it and like me, they think the plot is cool up until that stupid ending...

It was a real roller-coaster ride of emotions, I love how it made me feel. The constant 'oh my god, I love where this show is going' and 'this is so good' made me feel so happy except that ending...It was actually my stress-reliever although the plot is sooo stressful to the nth power lol

Will I recommend it to other people?? Well,,,, sureee why not?! I mean if I want them to know why I'm simping over a 60 year old big man, oh why not🤭🤭 For the story?? For revenge maybe? I want them to feel robbed off a good ending and I want them to hate the ending too as much as I hate it lolololll kidding aside, welp, yeah, I'd still recommend it to make them feel the roller coaster of emotions I also felt🤭👀👀

[meetevieinthehallway]

cus y’laugh is pretty.

in which harry gets his wisdom teeth removed.

-

harry isn’t a fan of drugs.

not like that— the medicinal drugs that they put you under for surgeries, or even the ones that take away headaches.

specifically— the ones that alter the mind and consciousness.

first of all, he doesn’t like needles and he doesn’t understand people who don’t get bothered by them; he thinks it’s absurd someone is okay with a large, sharp object impaling at their skin and altering their immune system.

and the effects they have!

it’s a freaky fucking way to put something helpful into someone’s body.

second of all, he doesn’t like pain. nobody does— but harry fears pain and has crazy anxiety about its intensity, its severity. he’s never had a cavity in his fucking life so he has never really experienced a toothache, what if this is the worst pain i’ve ever felt? it worries him sick and he hasn’t been sleeping well for the past couple days, waking from dreams where he was in the dentist chair and there’s needles and tools and they pinched at his flesh but they didn’t truly numb his nerves and he could feel everything going on—

third of all, he doesn’t like the idea of not having control over his own being, his mind loose and free and with no filter. harry is a man of calculated speech; he chooses his words with care and makes sure they are impactful before they are released. his tediousness and careful words only intensified as he grew in fame— he can’t slip up in the media when he possesses the spotlight.

drugs like these ones—the ones being injected with a tiny needle into his fucking arm—are just keys able to access the locked depths of harry’s mind.

forget the control aspect— the fact that harry won’t even remember how he acts under drugs freaks him out; he won’t know what he said, how he said it.

what if i say something completely inappropriate?!

well fuck, he’s always thinking raunchy or romantically about his fiancée—

what if i embarrass myself? or even her! oh god—

it was these thoughts and nerves that cause harry’s knee to bounce up and down in the waiting room chair, his fingers twitching at the material at his thighs. his eyes have been downcast since they checked in, eyebrows furrowed as he dazes off at the tile floor, worries and concerns and nerves swirling in the pit of his stomach.

he doesn’t want to do it.

he really doesn’t.

i can’t do it.

but another hand rests on top of his, causing his leg to halt and for his eyes to break over next to him.

his lovie is looking at him with soft eyes, her lips pouting. harry gazes at her, his eyes blinking as she thread her fingers through his, pulling their hands into her lap. she’s fiddling with his fingers, twirling his rings and rubbing his knuckles.

“you shouldn’t be so scared, bub.”

he bites his lip.

“you’re gonna be fine, okay?”

he shakes his head, putting his eyes back on the ground, his leg beginning to bounce again.

“harry.”

he looks at her again. her eyes are pleading for him to go through with it—and god, he doesn’t want to disappoint her in any way—but he is so fucking terrified that he might just have to get up and leave.

“please don’t make me.”

his voice is cracking and breaking so sadly and although his brain is moving too wildly to produce any tears, his eyes are glossed over and her hand is squeezed extremely tightly in his,

she’s never seen him this way.

her fiancé is a strong and confident man—for the love of god, he’s worn pink and floral suits and has pranced around like a lunatic—who doesn’t typically let something like this bother him.

he’s been a mess for days— she had to physically pull him out of bed this morning because he refused to get up, mumbling that he wanted to take a rain check. she coaxed him with the promise of starbucks on the way, and he was dumb enough to only notice her trickery when she drove straight to the dentist office, murmuring in a fake-sad voice that oh, i forgot, you can’t eat or drink before this, h!

he hasn’t looked at her since. not until now— with sad eyes that purely begged to just take me home.

she sighs. “bubby.” she turns her body to face him completely. “it’s starting to impact your other teeth and jaw. if they aren’t removed, it’s gonna be detrimental.” her hand cards through his hair.

“b-but… can’t i do it without anesthesia?” he murmurs, his other hand joining in holding hers. “’s scary. people...— people die from anesthesia! i don’t wanna die i—”

“it’s best for you to be put to sleep.” she whispers gently, a hand coming to his cheek to hold his eyes to hers. “with how anxious they know you are… with the pain and everything, h.” she touches his face. “you also have six wisdom teeth, baby, so it’s a bit more complicated.”

he exhales loudly, turning his face. his hands loosen around her palm, breath sighing and hands moving to ruffle his hair.

“harry.” she says sadly.

he doesn’t look at her.

“i love you, and i promise,” she whispers. “you’re going to do absolutely amazing. and ‘m gonna spoil the fuck out of you with cuddles, ice cream and your favorite films.”

he mumbles, dejected, “don’t want ice cream.”

“popsicles then.”

“hmph.”

“even the orange ones...” she coos, and he looks at hers.

“t-the... the orange ones i like?”

“mhm.”

“from th’shop across town?”

she looks a him with gentle eyes, nodding.

harry’s lips pull into a small, lip-trembling, hesitating smile. “okay.”

“okay.” she smiles.

it’s quiet, the only sound the waiting room elevator style music, and he cringes. the room is such a stark white that it’s hurting his eyes, stinging his head and he sighs through his nose.

then his mind drifts.

it drifts off into more pessimism, the excitement for his favorite treat vanishing away as he thinks and thinks.

he remembers back on those loopy videos that he had rewatched incessantly, eyes wide as he bit his lip as the man throws a literal fit in the car, swollen cheeks and a muffled screaming voice.

his love had told him to stop watching them but he didn’t listen, and now he’s sitting here in a stupid waiting room and his brain is rambling because he doesn’t know what he will say when he has no control over his body—

“do you promise to forgive me if i say something inappropriate?” he bites his lip.

she breaks into soft giggles, nodding furiously and squeezing his hand. “absolutely.”

“y’sure?”

“course i am.”

“even if—”

“harry styles?”

the world goes a bit fuzzy as they’re pulled out of their conversation.

they both look and turn towards the soft voice, a dental hygienist in blue scrubs smiling at them brightly. her eyes and smile are warm, welcoming even, and it did nothing to aid harry’s pain and worry.

harry looks at his love and stares at her eyes. they are confident and strong, and at least if he isn’t okay, she is.

he hopes he will be.

he leans over the arm of the chair and kisses her cheek softly, slowly, pulling back and wetting his lips with his tongue. “hold my hand till i fall asleep?” his voice is pleading and quiet.

her eyes flicker to his, head nodding slowly. “of course.”

and that’s all he needed.

so he stands slowly, smiling small at the woman.

he takes his lovie’s hand and pulls her close to his side.

and together, they walk down the hallway after her.

—

“lovie!”

her head snaps up, her coloring book app on her phone forgotten the moment that her eyes land on her fiancé.

oh, boy.

here he is—the man she can proudly call hers—smiling greatly and stumbling with his long limbs despite the dentist holding up eighty percent of his body weight. his arm is strewn in an open gesture, silently requesting a hug from his favorite person, his other arm around the struggling dentist’s shoulders. she stands quickly, hurrying over, biting back a smile at his giggling and his coos. she brings his other arm over her shoulders, helping the dentist hold and walk him. his face immediately bends down and nuzzles into her neck, his voice cooing and humming.

“my lovie.”

he picks his head up and stares at her intently, a dopey smile stretching his swollen cheeks.

she turns to look at him briefly, doing a double take when she realizes how he dreamingly he’s staring at her. “hi” he drawles, moving his head again, this time to nuzzle his face into the top of her hair.

“hi, bub.” she laughs. “gotta help us get you to the car, alright?”

“okie dokie.” he murmurs, picking up his feet only a slight bit more, lazily feigning a march as they left through the door of the dentist’s office.

maintaining to get a six-foot-something groggy and giggly man—arguably child—into the passenger seat is more of a challenge than she originally thought. it’s a mess of unmoving limbs and a stubborn whiny voice and knocking-together-knees, and his love and the dentist both are out of breath by the time his butt hits the leather seat. when he is finally in and situated, he pouts, telling his girl that he doesn’t wanna sit, through a muffled whiny voice from the gauze filling his cheeks.

“’s my car!” he whines, stomping his feet on the floor of the vehicle. “can i drive?”

“no.”

another whine.

“why not?”

“because i wanna be home in one piece.”

she closes the door gently, turning to face his dentist with humored eyes as the man chokes back a breathy laugh. “thought you guys reversed the drugs towards the end?”

the dentist laughs. “poor kid was freaking out so bad, i thought we should just... let him be blissful for as long as possible.”

she smiles, giggling, “you left me with a handful.”

she turns, looking over her shoulder, and she snorts and holds back more laughs when she sees her love staring at her through the tinted window, pouting, his hand pressed to the glass. the tip of his nose is smushed there as well, gently rubbed against the surface as he whines.

the doctor holds back a laugh. “he should be okay, he’ll most likely fall asleep and wake up fine.”

she grins, shaking her head.

after she is done discussing final details with him, she slides herself in the car, sighing lightly and turning to her fiancé.

she furrows her eyebrows.

his arms are crossed in front of his chest, puffy lips pouting and his knees pulled toward one another.

“what is it, bubby?”

he mumbles quietly, voice slurring and lisping.

“what was that?”

“th’dentist took ’m’tongue.” he mumbles softly, words jumbling together. “’s gone.” he frowns.

she snorts.

“your tongue isn’t gone, h.” she leans over the car, grabbing his seatbelt and crossing it over his frame. “’s right in there, sweet.”

he pouts at her, fingers reaching to touch his cheek and mouth. “can’t feel it, feels funny.”

she giggles. “it’s supposed to.” she pries his hand away, putting it in her own palm.

“feels like a balloon.”

she shifts the car in drive and pulls out onto the road, shaking her head with an endeared smile. he simply was adorable like this, widened eyes of wonder and a childish voice that questions every sense around him. he’s pointing at trees and dogs on the roads and gasping and giggling at everyone and everything.

then he quiets, and she is driving a while before feeling harry’s gaze on her cheek. she turns, smiling when he gives her a big dopey smile, giggling and babbling at nothing, bouncing his head to some imaginary music.

“you okay, harry?” she glances at him again.

his lips instantly turn down. the hand that has been clasped in her fingers is immediately pulled away, a wounded and offended look casting over his face. his eyes stare at her, wide, as they water quickly and he sniffles. she’s instantly alarmed, her own eyes going wide at him as she pulls up to a red light and looks over.

“what’s wrong, hm?” she coos at him. “are you hurtin?”

“no.” he sniffles, shaking his head and blinking rapidly.

“what is it?” she murmurs softly, her hand failing in its attempts to grasp his.

“harry.” he whimpers, gauze slipping up to the corner of his lips and muffling his voice.

“what?”

he tucks his hands into his chest, shielding them away from her grasp. “’m not harry.”

“you’re not harry?” she’s so confused.

his eyes stare at her, wide, upset and astonished at how obvious the answer was. “m’name’s not harry!”

her eyebrows furrow. “what’s your name, then?”

he scoffs, mumbling how utterly unbelievable this is. “bubby!”

silence.

she erupts into giggles. she can’t help it, because he looked so devastated over something so ridiculous.

“you call me bubby. buh-bee.” he pouts, voice whining and eyes spilling out tears. “that’s m’name.”

“you’re right, bub. you’re right. i’m sorry.” she says through a fit of giggles.

his eyes narrow at her, and he looks genuinely offended. “why are you laughin’ at me?” he slurs, frowning at her profile.

“nothing, nothing. all is okay.” she grins. “’m not laughing at you.”

“’m your husband. y’can’t laugh at me.”

“oh?” she giggles.

“m-hm. ’s in the rules.”

she glances at him. “the rules?”

“mhm. the marriage rules.”

“yeah? what else is in the rules?”

he huffs, looking out the window as he thinks. his drugged mind makes him feel really floaty, so he is drunkenly pulling all of his energy in to think as his body is swaying as he genuinely ponders through his altered mind.

“y’have to make me brownies.” he says seriously.

she quirks an eyebrow and shoots another glance his way, a smile gracing her lips. “i hafta bake brownies for you?”

“mhm. every day.” he looks at her. “with the— the big chocolate chips i like.”

he’s speaking absolute nonsense and she doesn’t know how to contain her laughs.

“anything else in the marriage rules?”

silence.

“i get t’eat you out every day.”

silence.

she cackles.

her body jolts forward violently and her laughs transform to heavy breaths, and she’s giggling so intensely that her abdomen throbs, arm crossing her stomach as she tries to slow her breathing.

“y’laughing again!!”

he yells at her with a childlike voice, and she holds back another round of laughter as he sounds upset.

“i’m not i’m not... just— saw something funny outside.”

his green eyes are swimming with a drunkeness she’s never seen.

“that’s a lie!”

“i’m not laughing.” she grins at him. “promise.”

he huffs at her, arms folding back over his chest. “sounds like y’are.”

“’m not, bubby.”

harry’s eyes light at the name, and he fails to hide it, his emotions conflicted between happiness and detestment as he looks at his girl. on one hand, she’s laughing at him and that’s just... mean. and on the other—

his hand slowly slides back into her palm, a small smile on his lips starting to hum as he looks out the window.

she smiles, rolling her eyes at his antics and continuing to drive.

it’s quiet for a couple miles, besides the humming from his throat and the raspberries he’s blowing into the air.

then he gasps loudly, causing her to jump.

“lovie!”

she breathes, “yes?”

“i-i—” he stammers, unsure of how to word his sentence. “do— do you realize what just happened?”

“uh... what d’you mean, love?”

“l-like… that guy just… stole m’teeth!”

here we go again.

“didn’t steal them, bub.”

“well then—” he challenges, “where did they go?”

“on... on a vacation.” she says quickly, hoping it would settle his questions.

“...how come m’teeth get a vacation and i don’t?”

“not a good vacation, love. they were bothering you, so they had to go.” her voice is soft, gently suggesting so she wouldn’t have to tell his drunken mind that they ripped his teeth from his skull.

well, harry has to think about that.

he sits back in his seat, eyebrows furrowed as he mumbles to himself. he touches his lip before she mumbles a stern “hey.” and bats his hand away, his eyes going wide in realization.

“he’s like superman.” he mumbles, awed.

“who is?”

“m’dentist. superdentist.”

his fiancée starts laughing at his seriousness, giggles spilling from her lips. harry looks to her and starts chuckling as well, their laughs blending in the air of the car. she pauses, her giggles dying down slowly.

“why are you laughing?”

“cus y’laugh is pretty.” he grins cheesily, his feet swinging in the space of the car floor. “makes m’smile.” his voice is like a child’s— giggly and adorable and sheepish, his cheeks flushing with pink.

she grins at him, shaking her head gently.

“can i sleep?” he slurs, eyes fluttering and body starting to lean backwards into his seat.

“yeah, baby. y’need help reclining?”

“nuh uh.”

“are you sure?—”

she’s cut off by a snore.

a loud snore that she quickly looks towards, snorting when she sees her love’s face pressed against the glass of the window, body slumped. his heavy breathing increases the deeper he falls asleep, her lips letting out soft laughs at his behavior.

she shakes her head, turning to face the road.

oh, just wait until he hears everything he missed.

[highqueenofelfhame]

All I Ask Of You

Oh, don't say that it's over Oh, no, say it ain't so Let's let the stars watch, let them stare Let the wind eavesdrop, I don't care For all that we've got, don't let it go Just hold me Eavesdrop - The Civil Wars

Two Weeks Later

“Ace?” The sound of the voice, too far away to pinpoint with of them it was, echoed through the warehouse below the apartment she had acquired set her teeth on edge. Her tongue ran over her teeth as she debated locking the apartment door, then decided he would bust it down anyway. It was like this every few days. One member of the Cadre would come back to her apartment. They would take turns coming to ask her how she was doing. Was she okay. Fenrys came most often, sometimes with Connall. Vaughan came occasionally. Gavriel had come a handful of times. At one point, they’d even flown Aedion in from the base he was on in Wendlyn to try to talk to her. 

A knock. 

“Aelin? Galathynius, open up.” Lorcan. That was new. When she said nothing, the knob jiggled and after a beat, the door flew open. He didn’t even bother to pause, just stalked into the apartment like he owned the place and dropped into the chair next to her. 

“By all means,” she said flatly, “make yourself at home.” 

“My dislike for you is mild on a good day. You’re arrogant, self absorbed when it comes to so much shit. Sometimes you are such a bitch that I just.” Lorcan closed his fist and tapped it to his forehead. “But you’re a good soldier. You are my soldier, and I’ll be damned if you don’t take my job from me one day. But you have to stop.” When she didn’t say anything, her staying focused on the map, he leaned forward and rubbing the bridge of his nose, then turned his head to really look at her.

Aelin had never looked worse. She knew that. Turns out that getting shot in the shoulder really fucks you up. Even worse was when she woke up, choking on the tube and throwing her arms around, she’d ignored the pain that had burned through every place on her body in her panic. That had only made the injury to her right shoulder worse all over again. Now, having had a second surgery just eight days ago, there was intense amounts of pain despite the obnoxiously uncomfortable sling she had to wear most of the time that gave her shoulder extra support. At present time, she had such limited use of her right hand because of the damage to the muscles and tendons in her shoulder. Less severe was the shot to her back, because by some grace of Mala, had been a clean bullet wound through the skin, missing anything major. In truth, she had been lucky. 

“You didn’t show up for physcal therapy today,” Lorcan finally said, finger trailing over some of the notes that she had scribbled all over the map. Things were color coded, there were stars drawn on other places, more than one big red X. 

“I didn’t care to know what a shit job my body is doing at healing. You won’t let me help find him despite the shit job you’re all doing.” 

“Aelin. Gods above. We’re trying to find him and you know that. I get that you’re having a hard time and I know what he means to you but what the hell do you think you’re going to accomplish? You can’t use your dominant hand for shit, your bullet wound still bleeds when you use too much energy because you won’t just calm down and rest like you’re supposed to.” Aelin’s eyes fluttered shut, silent tears falling down her face

It wasn’t a new revelation. She hated herself. Hated that she was hurt, hated that Rowan had been taken when it was her that was supposed to have been. It was Hamel’s face on the security tapes, a man she’d managed to take down in a sex trafficking ring. When Hamel had been hit with a bullet to his arm, he’d fallen, and his apparent lover had stormed at Aelin, screaming and drawing a gun in the process. So Aelin had fired, hit the woman in the heart, and put the entire thing out of her mind. Hamel had been arrested, put in prison, and had broken out six months later. For awhile, Aelin was paranoid. Watched her back. But at some point the fear dissipated. Fear that Rowan kept at bay by holding her through the night. 

Aelin knew that all of this was why she was being targeted. Why Rowan had been taken. An eye for an eye. She would be lying if she said she had much hope left. Hope he was coming back to her, hope that he was even alive. 

These days she was just thankful she hadn’t opened a box with his head inside. 

“One of the first nights after you had shown up on base as our newest member, despite his anger Rowan came to my quarters. I’ve known Rowan for a long time, Aelin. And after you left him I had never seen so much pain in a person. He deserved it, absolutely. But the night he came to my quarters, sat with his head in his hands, and made me promise that if there was ever a moment when it was him or you, that we save you. The tone of his voice, the way he sounded. It was raw and rough and I could tell how serious he was. There was a certain level of threat to his voice that told me if I did the opposite he’d  throttle me. So I said okay. During the first week of us being here, he made me promise again. ‘She is all that matters. I don’t care about anything else,’ He’d said. So I made good on that promise. I had to either get you or him out. And I chose you because it’s what he’s asked—begged me to do more than once.” 

She didn’t say anything, just shook her head a single time, pressed her lips together in a thin line, and left the room. A few moments later, she heard the front door open and close, and she collapsed on the floor and cried until there were no more tears in her body. 

~*~

It took longer than she cared to admit to shimmy into her black stealth suit. The pain in her shoulder made her see stars, but she finally managed. She had strapped guns and knives to the left side of her body, only one knife on the right side for desperate measures. She was fully capable of taking down men with just her left arm, but she refused to let herself be completely defenseless if someone came up on her right. She knew it would hurt like hell but she found herself incapable of caring about whatever pain she would be in. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but Rowan. 

Aelin was also smart enough to mark where she was going on the map on her table. It was the only location circled in thick black marker, the actual address scribbled to the side. Hamel wanted Aelin, that much she knew. Knew he would want Aelin watch him kill Rowan. And knew he would do it the same place Aelin had killed the woman he had been with. She didn’t even remember her name. Maybe she should have, but it was just another thing she didn’t care about. Couldn’t care about. Either way, she would give him what he wanted, except Rowan wasn’t going to die.

 Aelin was. 

~*~

By the time she’d reached the piss poor excuse for a house, the moon was at its highest position in the sky, the stars bright and vibrant this far out of the city. It was well past midnight and under it would have been beautiful under different circumstances. 

Getting into the house was too easy. They weren’t even trying to defend the space and she was an expert at picking locks. It was silent inside, so silent that she would have heard a pin drop. Aelin had never been more thankful for the boots that went with the suit because they were completely soundproof. It was perfect for missions such as these, when she needed to be as undetected as possible. 

She heard a creak of a floorboard somewhere above her, and decided to start there, silently making her way up the stairs. She flattened her body against the wall, the mask over her face and the hood over her head making her nearly invisible in the darkness. With clenched teeth, she proceeded down the hall, stopping at the first door. Carefully -- so, so carefully -- she turned the knob and opened the door, slipping her thin body into the room. She shut the door behind her with no sound or resistance. Aelin was hardly breathing as she took in a sleeping figure in the bed. Soundlessly, she pulled one of her knives from a sheath on her hip, approached the figure, and slit their throat from ear to ear. His eyes flew open for a single moment and then he was dead. The man didn’t even have time to choke on his own blood. 

When she approached the door again, she pressed her ear to the wood to listen for any sign of movement outside. When she heard nothing, she cracked the door open and slid back out into the hall, making her way to the next room down the line. 

It was the same story: Sleeping man, slit throat, no time to choke. It was impossible to not be more suspicious of how easy it was. Almost too easy, but she supposed they would have to sleep at some point, and someone would have to be guarding Rowan, which couldn’t be an easy task. 

Unless he’s incapacitated. 

The thought made the blood in her veins absolutely boil. 

There was movement in the room with the dim glow, and before searching the room she knew had people, she decided to search the rest of the house. She couldn’t imagine a prisoner being kept in a room that was so easy to escape. It would have been too easy for him to escape. 

She crept back down the stairs, careful to be as light on her feet as she could. The rest of the house was seemingly empty, but in the kitchen there was a door. It was padlocked and likely lead down to a basement. That door seemed the most likely place that Rowan was being kept, so she began to pick the lock, eyes fluttering shut when the click of the lock was too loud for her liking. Frozen, she waited to hear any sort of sign of someone coming downstairs. When she heard nothing, she removed the lock from the latch, pocketed it so no one would be able to easily lock them back in, and slipped into the room. 

She was greeted by a set of stairs that she followed down into the ground. The glow from the light was so dim that it took her a moment for her eyes to adjust. Aelin had been right about it being a basement --  it took a moment for her to get all the way down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, she was absolutely breathless. 

Rowan was tied to a chair with rope. His head was hanging down like he was some sort of unconscious, whether he had been knocked out or sleeping, she didn’t know. Aelin didn’t hesitate to run over to him, her hands cupping his face. 

“Come on, baby. Wake up. Please wake up. We have to get you out of here,” she whispered, fingers careful to avoid bruises and cuts that covered his face. It took a moment of her patting the side of his face before his eyes slowly cracked open, and when they did they were filled with tears. 

“What -- Aelin no. No, you can’t be here,” he ground out, but she shook her head, saying nothing as she moved to untie him. 

Aelin had just began to pull a knife from her thigh holster when splitting pain exploded in her head as someone knocked her unconscious. 

~*~

When she woke up, she had the worst headache she had ever had and her shoulder was on fire. Dizzily, she lifted her head and met Rowan’s eyes. Part of her was relieved; the other part angry. They were sitting close enough that their knees were almost touching. Like Rowan, her hands were tied behind her back. That explained the shoulder pain. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed. Tears slipped down her cheeks, from both pain and guilt. 

“What could you possibly be sorry for, love?” He asked softly, his foot nudging against hers the best it could despite the rope tied around his ankles. It was the only way he could touch her, the only way he could reach her. 

“The last conversation we had. I was telling you not to touch me. And I feel so, so guilty. I just. I’m sorry.” 

“Gods above, Ace. I don’t blame you for that. I could never blame you for that,” he said, his voice heavy with his lilting accent that she loved so much. Aelin nodded, but still felt the guilt in her gut. She had been replaying that conversation in her mind for weeks now, wishing she hadn’t said it. In truth, she had never felt so desperate to touch him. 

Behind her back, her fingers fumbled with the rope having seen the knot that had Rowan’s hands had been tied with. Luckily for both of them, they both knew how to untie it. Even luckier, the idiots hadn’t found the knives that were concealed under her sleeves. Aelin had a very small blade  just above her palm, and if she could just --

The door to the basement flew open. Heavy footsteps clomped down the stairs, and Aelin couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Whoever Hamel had working for him were flat out stupid which had led to their original arrest. Even dumber for them to not pat her down thoroughly enough. With a slight flick of her wrist, the little blade shot down into her hand, cutting her skin in a long gash. Forced to grip the blade to try to work it down into her hand, her fingers and palm screaming in pain. It took everything she had to not cringe. Rowan, noticing the slight change in her face, furrowed his brow and Aelin made an imperceptible nod with her head as Arobynn Hamel himself stepped off the bottom step into the basement. 

Aelin’s face was school into neutrality as she arched a single brow at him, waiting for him to speak but the words never came. Instead, he pulled a gun from the waistband of his pants, the idiot, and caressed the trigger the way a lover caresses a cheek. 

“Can I help you?” She asked him, licking her lips slowly. There was a gash there, the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. Arobynn let out a low laugh the same time Aelin began to saw through the rope that bound her, careful to be prepared for the rope to loosen and fall into her hands. 

Another person hopped off the bottom step, a man she didn’t know. In his hands he held two daggers, twirling them between his fingers. She rolled her eyes, doing anything to make it look like she wasn’t scared. Truthfully, she was terrified. Terrified that if she wasn’t quick enough Rowan would receive a bullet to the head and she would be left with the guilt that she had never told him that she forgives him, had never told him she loved him one last time. 

“You know you have the wrong guy, right?” She quirked a brow, looking over at Rowan with distaste, her hand still working to cut through the rope. Her shoulder was begging her to stop, begging for that sling she hated so much. “This piece of shit cheated on me. We haven’t been together for years. So do me a favor and put a bullet through his brain so I can get out of here and never have to see either of you ever again.” The rope finally snapped and she was able to shimmy her hands out before it fell to the ground. 

“Why come for him then?” His eyes narrowed, and Rowan’s face was indecipherable. 

“Because it’s so much easier to ask you to do it than me. I could offer you a pretty penny,” she drawled, watching as Arobynn caressed that trigger again, clearly debating the offer. Aelin cocked her head to the side as, once again -- the idiot -- knelt down next to Aelin. He didn’t look at her or Rowan, just focused on the gun in his hand. 

It was all she needed.

Aelin whipped her hands around, stabbing the knife through Hamel’s neck with her right hand. White hot pain shot through her arm and back, but she didn’t let it slow her down as she wrapped the rope around his neck, ripping out the knife and swiping down Rowan’s leg to unsnap the rope. 

She had moved so fast that the man with the daggers had barely made it to Rowan by the time he was on his feet, swinging his free leg around to knock the man to the ground. Aelin tightened the rope around Hamel’s neck the same time Rowan managed to jump backwards, effectively landing on the crumpled assassin. The chair shattered beneath his body and he rolled backwards until he was able to push onto his feet. 

Aelin slit Arobynn’s throat and kicked him in the chest, his blood spraying across her face. It was then that they heard footsteps up above, the floorboards creaking under the weight of whoever was up there. Rowan turned his back to her and she cut his hands free of it’s bindings, jerking her gun from her thigh holster and preparing to shoot whoever came through the door. 

Except it wasn’t more of Hamel’s associates. It was the Cadre, pouring down into the basement with guns drawn and eyes blazing. 

“You’re late,” she said flatly, moving over to Rowan and searching his face to make sure he was okay as he could be. Lorcan rolled his eyes, Fenrys was trying not to smile.

“You know you could get discharged for this, right?” Lorcan asked, and Aelin shrugged her left shoulder, wincing in pain as the movement of her muscles shot pain across her upper back. 

“I’m okay,” he said softly, run his fingers along her cheek. She turned her face to kiss his palm and leaned her forehead against his chest. 

“Can someone get me a medic?” And then she was falling toward the floor, completely unaware of Rowan catching her before she hit the ground. 

~*~ 

Once again, she woke up to the beeping of machines, but this time there was no tube down her throat. There were two hands wrapped around hers and something pressing against her thigh. When her eyes cracked open, she let out a sigh and tears immediately poured out of her eyes. 

He looked like hell. His face was swollen and bruised and he had stitches above his eyebrow. The hands that encased hers had gashes on them as well, and Aelin wondered how bad it must be hurting for how tightly he gripped her hand. She couldn’t help but wonder how bad the cut on his leg was from when she cut the rope, knowing it had cut into his flesh. It couldn’t have been too bad, as he was able to move with agility when she cut him free, but she was still worried. Still felt horrible.

“Ro,” she croaked out, and his head immediately shot up and then he was standing and smoothing down her hair. Rowan’s eyes searched her and flicked down to her shoulder, looking for any sign of anything that would hint to her not being okay. 

“Hi baby,” he breathed, satisfied with his inspection. His lips pressed to her forehead, her cheeks, and finally her lips and she let out a quiet sob when he rested his forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. For everything. For all of it.” 

“I know. I know.” He kissed her again, a little harder this time until she let out a slight whimper. Her lip was still split, but she shook her head when he opened his mouth to apologize. “I love you,” she said quietly, bringing her good hand up to run through his hair. “I love you so much.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Gods, baby. I love you. I love you but you deserve so much better than me.” Aelin frowned then, shaking her head quickly. She knew what was coming as she shook her head harder.

“Don’t say it. Rowan Whitethorn, don’t you dare. Don’t.” The tears she  had been crying flowed freely, soaking the gown she wore as they dripped from her chin. Every word, her voice as shattered as her heart.

“I love you, but I can’t let you be with me. I’m not good for you.” He spoke slowly, his voice breaking over his words. All the while his hands smoothed down her hair. Rowan was crying just as hard as she was. 

He brought her hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles, then leaned forward to kiss her one last time. “I love you.” He kissed her forehead one more time, released her hand, and disappeared out the door. 

Aelin couldn’t help but think that the pain in her heart was infinitely worse than the pain in her shoulder. 

**Tysm to my love and muse @musicmaam bc i couldn’t do anything w/o her tbh

[emcases]

A Covid Day

I have been leaving later than usual for work (I drive).  There’s no traffic in New York City.  The 40-minute commute is now 20 minutes.

The morning routine now involves getting into my Covid clothing, then lining up to receive my day’s ration of PPE (I ask for one regular mask and one N95).  PPE is dispensed from a locked office now, but the hospital keeps insisting that PPE is plentiful.  I have been reusing the same eye protection for weeks now.  I should clean it more often.  It seems only a matter of time before we run out of all PPE.  The guys in the locked office will need a shotgun lol.

I take sign-out.  There are approximately 20 Covid patients waiting for beds in my zone.  Three are intubated.  One of the intubated patients appears “unlikely”.  Two of the non-intubated patients look like they will go down during my shift.

I talk to the new patients.  The non-Covid patients all have nada.  One guy has 20 chief complaints and needs an appointment.  Second guy has 5 complaints but is basically here for detox.  Admitting a patient to detox feels like a death sentence to me.  All hospital and nursing home patients are sitting ducks.  The guy doesn’t want to stay.  He wants to try some benzos as an outpatient.  The resident has never done this before and he was surprised when I give the guy a script for a bunch of libriums.

I check to see if any of my sick Covids from the last shift died.  I go 4 for 4.  All patients are still alive.  Yay!

I get called to see a Covid patient that was just discharged from the ED a few minutes ago.  He didn’t make it out.  We get him back into a room, put him on oxygen, and admit him.

A Critical Care consult comes by.  There are no ICU beds (no surprise there).  They accepted one of the intubated patients to the MICU.  The others will go to a new floor designated for Covid patients.  We’re not sure who’s running that floor - Medicine, Surgery, or Anesthesia.  I overhear the Critical Care doctor battling it out with the ICU head nurse over one of the patients.  Nothing changes at this hospital.

I check the xray of one of the sicker Covid patients.  She was signed out as cancer + right pleural effusion.  The xray is horrendous; both lungs are filled with disease.  The pleural effusion is the least of her problems.  I decide not to stick a needle into her chest.

I didn’t go to the morning briefing; there are too many patients.  There may be four vents left in the hospital.  One thing about Covid - patients die, so vents and ICU beds open up.  I am surprised by the number of deaths.  I check my work email.  There’s an email that warns us that intubation meds and equipment are running out.

All day long, codes are called upstairs.  I wonder how many of those codes are my patients.

One of the patients I am worried about looks like she is going to go down.  We re-position her and crank up the oxygen.  She doesn’t go down.

A sick patient comes in.  A normal person with a mental status.  Dying from Covid.  We go to intubate him.  Damn, there’s no suction in this room.  A resident contacts his family and his son tells us to make him DNR / DNI.  I call the son back to confirm this.  The patient has advanced kidney cancer and he wants to go peacefully.  The patient is going to die, and soon.  The son is coming to the hospital.  I hope he makes it in time.  We make the patient as comfortable as possible - oxygen, a little fluid, morphine.

I remove my PPE and sit down at the computer.  An ID attending comes by and chats.  I don’t recognize her at first through her top-to-bottom PPE.  She mentions that I should wear a mask at all times.  She’s right, but I laugh because I took off my mask about 10 seconds ago.  Honestly, I don’t think it makes any difference in the ED.  Covid is everywhere.  I am relatively certain that Covid is recirculated via the ventilation system.

More Covid patients come in.  They’re all hypoxic, but none of them will die during my shift, I think.

I go check on the sick guy.  He’s starting to brady.  It won’t be long.  I set my alarm to check on him every 20 minutes.  I don’t want to find my patient in rigor mortis, a common occurrence in the ED nowadays.

More patients come in.  None of them have respiratory symptoms, but I suspect Covid in most of the them.  The nursing home guy who was found on the floor?  Covid.  The old guy with abdominal pain (whose wife died last night)?  Covid.

Someone sends the ED lunch.  That’s so nice of the restaurant.  I send the residents to chow down, then I go.  Nicole, the senior resident, usually doesn’t eat (much) during a shift, but even she goes to eat.  During the Age of Covid, you have to get in as many calories and as much fluid as possible.  I go home thirsty and dry after every shift and wonder if I have Covid.

The nurse says the sick guy is dead.  We go in to pronounce him.  Fuck.  His son doesn’t make it in time.

There is a woman with pleuritic chest pain.  The residents and I talk about a non-Covid issue for once during our shift.  I hate d-dimers.

The son arrives.  The hospital policy is no-visitors.  We let him to see his dead father after we put PPE on him.

All of the “atypical” Covid patients have Covid on their chest xrays.  They are all admitted to beds that we don’t have.  There’s no such thing as atypical Covid anymore.  Everyone in the ED has Covid.  The ED is out of space, so the Covid patients are grouped into shared spaces.  Every once in a while, a Covid patient gets up and walks around the ED.  We don’t have the manpower to watch them, but at least they’re wearing a mask, and none of them are coughing.

More Covid patients come in.   I’m thinking about sending home the guy whose wife died last night, but he’s a little hypoxic and he bumps his creatinine big time.  I admit him.  I wonder if I should send the nursing home Covid back to the nursing home.  Will I kill off the entire nursing home, or have they all been infected already?  If he isn’t a demented nursing home patient, he should be discharged.

During a brief lull, the triage nurse calls us over for a “note” (arrival of a sick patient).  I go over, but there’s no patient there.  EMS is bringing him in, he says.  We go outside.  I see a patient being bagged.  I run back in the ED and assemble the resuscitation equipment.  When the patient gets inside, I can’t help but notice that the patient is dead.  We intubate the patient, put in an IV, and give Epi.  The colorimeter doesn’t change colors even though the tube is in the right place (a very poor prognostic sign).  “Aren’t you going to do CPR?” asks the EMS crew.  “The patient is dead”, I answer.  In all practicality, CPR has stopped in my hospital.  The next day, a new EMS directive is ordered - do not bring cardiac arrest patients to the hospital.

When we intubate the patient, there are tons of secretions in the airway.  That’s one of the weird things about Covid - patients have all this crap in their lungs, but very few of them cough.  The other weird thing about Covid is the spectrum of disease.  Why is one person totally fine and the guy next to him dead?  I work in an area with a diverse population and the deaths have hit all races, ages, incomes, and vulnerabilities.  We pronounced a 25-year-old guy the night before.

A Surgical Attending comes by with a friendly greeting.  I love her; she is always so pleasant.  She’s too good for our hospital.  She tells me that “the nurse” is on ECMO.  I know already - I have been following her upstairs after taking care of her last week.  She is a lovely patient.  Her chances are dismal.

A patient who comes in for detox refuses to leave.  Wtf?!?  He is oblivious to the chaos around him.  Do I have to call the Police to throw him out?  We decide to turf him to Psych.  We need the space.  No patients can hang out in the ED anymore.  Only quickly-dying patients get admitted.

The day winds down.  The last few minutes of every shift is tense because you’re just waiting for one of your patients to go down.  None of my Covid patients die just yet.  Two of the intubated patients went upstairs.

After sign-out, I take off my Covid clothes.  The used masks go into a baggie.  They will be reused should the day come when we run out of fresh masks.  I drive home with my residents, saving them a long subway ride.  They are appreciative.  I love my residents (well most of them).  I go to Chipotle for take-out, one of the few restaurants still open in the neighborhood.  There’s no line, of course.  I get home, shower, and disinfect my ID, my glasses, etc. as well as I could.  I watch Big Bang Theory and I eat, hoping that this is not the day I go down with the virus myself.  If it happens, it happens.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy Season 16x20 review

(I'm a little lost.)

In my opinion they're running too many storylines at a time but on that note I'll start.

___________________________________________

Richard

(I was honestly disappointed in the amount of screen time they gave him and his case tonight.)

He had my heart in my hands when he disappeared and was about to cut himself open for surgery, seeing him be so vulnerable and as the patient in itself was heartbreaking. I really thought that they would have solved this situation in this episode but I guess not. It is actually getting worse and worse and to top it all off now he's a meme and those things tend to follow you around for life, hopefully that won't be enough to wipe his whole career, he's also forgetting stuff on top of the hallucinations. He thought he was still married to Adele 😭😭😭. Which means he probably completely forgot about Maggie and a lot of the tragedies that happened. I really hope they keep a better eye on him as well because he's a danger to himself right now. And I wish they solve his case and it's a fixable problem. Most importantly I just hope he doesn't die. In the preview it seems like Deluca is going to solve the case. (Not gonna lie Deluca is cool and all but I was kinda hoping that Maggie, Bailey or Meredith would solve it because it would be a little more emotional. But I guess not besides it seems like the only people in this hospital who can solve the unsolvable now seems to be Deluca and Meredith. When is someone else gonna prove their skills.)

___________________________________________

Link/Amelia

For a moment there I thought we were gonna meet baby Link but nope, it was just a false alarm, it seems like the birth comes next week and it better go smoothly, we lost one baby this season, let's not go for 2. Link seems to be having a little realization of what he's going to be giving up for parenthood, but I have no doubt he'll get over it when he sees Amelia holding their son and holds him for the first time. Amelia is also had a panic attack on not being able to protect her baby from the dangers of the world (sort of like the one Callie had back when she was about to take Sophia home.) I think they'll do great as parents, they may have the usual beginning struggle but they'll get the hang of it eventually. They're the one of the new additions to the power couples of Grey's.

I'm wondering if she's going to name the baby Derek.

___________________________________________

Teddy 🤦🏾‍♀️

She has yet to tell Owen that she has cheated on him, still loves Tom and is very much invested in what happens in his life but has decided to move their wedding up. (Oh Teddy) She spent the whole episode so wound up with how Tom was doing with his case and trying to help him get through it that she completely forgot about the wedding planner bringing over cake samples for her and Owen's wedding and yet she wants to move the wedding up? I can't for the life of me understand where thos love triangle is even heading. At this point it looks like she may very well end up with both. However they need to do something soon because they're kids involved, it's not just them.

___________________________________________

Tom

My poor baby has now begun to feel the dreaded curse of the Seattle Grace. Since the beginning of time that hospital weather merged or renamed has been a curse on all who enter the doors and Tom Koracick is feeling the wrath. His ex brought her son to him for the removal of a brain tumor and apparently the son looked just like the one Tom lost 😭😭. His reactions tore at me the whole night from the time he saw him to the time, he turned over the case to Amelia straight to the time he begged Amelia to do the surgery while in labor.

I was hoping that maybe just maybe this woman was the key to helping him get over Teddy, but she's married it seems and This just made Teddy cling to him more making the situation even worse. And based on the preview for next week it's about to get even worse. All I can say is Tom baby no, think about what you're doing.

On another note what happened to the billionaire story line? I guess they got away with it then.

___________________________________________

Jo and Levi

Just as expected they struck up a friendship. Jo truly is a legend, she is one of the only people in that hospital who has refused to let someone vent their problems over a patient or while they're working. That is queen moves right there, keep work at work. It was so rare that Levi thought she was being rude and packed his stuff up. I'm glad they have each other the friendship is entertaining, Alex isn't coming back and Link's about to be a father and Levi and Nico seem to be actually over for good so at least the have somebody to lean on. As long as it doesn't become sexual I'm here for it.

___________________________________________

Deluca

It seems like Deluca is gonna solve yet another impossible case and he may very well be the Dr House of Grey's so I'm gonna need them to let him get the help he needs so the doctors will listen to him again so my baby can thrive because he may be unstable but no one can deny that he doesn't know what he's talking about.

___________________________________________

Catherine

As expected is devastated, she basically said the same thing I did last week, if she had just swallowed her pride this whole thing may have been solved earlier. But I was hurting for her the whole time. Her husband was sick and she didn't know because they were fighting and now he thinks he's married to the woman before he was married to her. There's a lot of pain, regrets and guilt. However I'm glad to see she isn't holding it in and is letting Jackson comfort her and I was also pleased to see that she went on her private jet to collect him and has been glued to his side the whole time. For the First time besides the trick last week, I'm seeing hope for there marriage. I hope I get to see that hope blossom.

___________________________________________

Maggie

Is having regrets for her sexcapade last week, but she couldn't have known that was going to happen. She's with Richard the whole time and now he probably doesn't remember who she is, I hope she's going to have someone there for her as well. Speaking of which where's her bae? Are we just never going to hear from him again?

___________________________________________

Meredith

Trying to save Richard, she looked so somber the whole episode because that is one of the last people who has been there from the beginning lying on the table and can possibly be suffering from the same thing her mum suffered from. Fingers crossed that she's not going to lose another one of her family. At least she seems to be willing to do anything to save him even think outside the box.

___________________________________________

Bailey

Needs to take it down a notch now I love my Bailey and I know that there are certain protocols you need to follow and that it is noticable that Deluca is having a problem but it really doesn't hurt to stop and listen, no matter how unstable you think the person is, she could at least check out what he's saying.

___________________________________________

Jackson

Left the teachings of Mark Sloan to help support his mother and Richard and may possibly be packing his bags and heading to Station 19. (Due to my forgetful brain and a mix up in the changed time slots I watched station 19 as well tonight.) He seems to be interested in joining Ben as the new medic 1 but who knows?

___________________________________________

Notes and questions

• Is Richard going to be ok?

• Will he and Catherine patch their marriage?

• Will Teddy finally confess to Owen that she cheated?

• Who will she choose Owen or Tom?

• Where is Maggie's new love? He seemed really adamant on being together and now in this time when she'll need support he's nowhere to be seen.

• Are we ever going to find out if Deluca was right about the girl and her guardian. (I mean we just gonna leave that out?)

• Same goes with Tom and the billionaire.

• Will Amelia's pregnancy go smoothly?

• Will Deluca finally get the help he needs?

___________________________________________

Next week is the Season finale and I really hope they can wrap everything up and it doesn't leave more questions than answers.

On another note I hope everyone is well and continues to stay safe.

[theoverflowinggrace]

Christian Testimony: Saved by Grace

My Testimony

God has been asking me to share my story but only today, May 24, 2020 the Holy Spirit led me to write it now after watching a preaching entitled “Grace is…” of the lead Pastor of Transformation Church, Michael Todd. I kept this secret to myself for so many years. I’d been so afraid to be judged. It would always scare me whenever I would attempt that the people I know might get away from me. But today, I don’t just want to keep that love God has been showing me, I wanted to share it. There also might be people who are going through something and needs encouragement in their lives right now and I don’t want to miss the chance.  

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I came from a very poor family. I had the worst father I’d thought. He was a gambler, a womanizer, a very irresponsible father to his four children. My father and my mother separated when I was five years old. At a very young age, I understood and felt very unhappy and deficient. My mother was the one who took the responsibilities for all of their children.  She had a relationship with another man. She did everything she could to provide for our family. Growing up, all I wanted was to get our family back together.  My family was all my life. They are my everything.

When I was in second year high school, my sister invited me to a Christian church she was attending to that time and there I felt Jesus but still didn’t understand what life really means. We stopped going to church as my sister and I had to move to Manila from Antipolo to get free education in public universities. From there, I lived with my father and with his girlfriend. Going to college for my sister and I was so difficult. There were days that we would not have allowance to go to school. There were days that we would not have food on our table. My sister and I even experienced to work as a saleslady in Divisoria mall thinking that we could save money for ourselves. I also remember that my sister and I even experienced selling coffee in a dangerous place in Custom where you needed to play hide and seek with the guards because they don’t allow vendors in there. We would offer coffee to those drivers who were driving their big trucks with big containers and when their queue would move you need to chase them for their payment. It was very dangerous.  

My friends in college were just normal people who also need free education from the government to go to college. One day, when my friends and I were strolling in the mall. There was this old man who suddenly approached me. At first, I thought he was a gay (I think it was just his style to cover up his real intention) who would want me to be one of his talents.  He showed me his phone and asked if he could get my number. My initial reaction was I got scared. I knew that he liked me. I didn’t give my number and left him. Shortly, when we were walking away from him, we didn’t know that he was following us. He was persistent to pursue me that day so while walking he was talking and introducing himself to us. He even showed his ID’s to us. He said that he is a lawyer, a professor, studied in Ateneo and even in UP and just wanted to eat with us. My friends and I were just crazy and said yes (we were trying to convince ourselves that it is just a treat and we could eat in a most expensive restaurant in that area because anyway we were still inside the vicinity of the mall so we don’t need to be scared of) Fast forward, when we were finished ordering and eating all the food we wanted from the restaurant, he asked my number again and I gave a fake one. He tried to call it but it didn’t ring. (Of course I just invented it) and to make the long story short, I ended up giving my number. After that time, I would receive sweet messages from him but I just ignored him until he stopped.

Fast forward, I was in my second semester in my 3rd year of college when my family received news that left us all devastated. My sister had stage 4 colon cancer and the doctor even told that she only had two months to live. We were hopeless that time. We are not rich. Where can we get the money to provide for her chemotherapies? Why did God let this happen to my sister? How could we still have the second chance for my family to get back together if my sister would die? Those were some of the questions I had in my mind.

Fast forward, one normal day after school, when I just finished my field study and decided to eat in a fast food restaurant, I once encountered again this old man who I’ve met few months ago. He called my number after we’ve seen each other again but again, I just ignored him.

Our family has history of cancer. Three of my very close relatives died because of it. My sister who just had two chemo sessions decided to stop and told his husband to just save the money for her daughter’s future instead of wasting the money if she would still die in the end. When I knew about it, I was in great pain but this old man came across my mind. I thought he could help me with the big amount of money my sister needed for the remaining Chemo sessions.  I became so desperate. But I was wrong; he told me so many lies. He was a big liar. I never thought of getting married or having kids before graduating to college. I was so careful (I thought I was) He told me that he could not make a woman pregnant because his doctor said so because of all the medications and everything he had when he was having multiple surgeries in his body (Before I met him I didn’t know that he had undergone multiple surgeries in his face hoping that he could still look young again; Indeed, he is a crazy man) He made me believed that everything he said were all true. I didn’t even know that he’s a married man. (He is really crazy) Things have fallen apart when I got pregnant. I couldn’t accept it. I hated it. I despised it so I destroyed it. I aborted it.

Fast forward, I graduated to college, got a decent job, passed the board exam for teachers, had a serious relationship, and my sister died after battling for three months with her disease.

Life became lifeless, pointless, and meaningless. It was so dark and I’d gone through depression. Every day, I wish I had died instead. I told myself that I would never be happy again. I told myself that I can’t be happy again. I don’t deserve and I won’t and I should not. I must not.

I stopped socializing. I stopped doing the things that could make me happy. I was punishing myself but never had I attempted to commit suicide because I knew that it would only help me to get a VIP ticket in my residence to hell.

I carried this guilt for more than six years until I met my Christ again. He showed me his mercy, poured me with his grace and wrapped me with His great love. I was a great sinner but His love is greater. It was when I didn’t know what to do anymore.  Every day was unbearable. It was when I came across these Christian preaching videos from CCF. God spoke to me in so many ways. I felt in love with Him. And finally I have forgiven myself. At this moment, I could say that I am not just happy but I am joyful. It says on Ephesians 2:8 “For by Grace you have been saved through Faith and He is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

I used to always question God. I was mad to Him. I kept asking him why he allowed me to get involved with this kind of man. There were a lot of women in that mall that he could approach instead of me? Why did we still have our next encounter after our first?  Why did God allow me to be used by this man?  Why my sister had to suffer from cancer? And why can’t my family just be happy? And God answered me in John 9:2 when His disciples asked him “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind? And Jesus answered “Neither this man nor his parents sinned. But this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him”. I believed that God allowed all of these things to happen without any reasons. I believed that there’s no accident with God. All things happened for His glory. I still may not be the person God wanted me to be but I am grateful to Him that I am not the same person I used to be. I still fall short of glory every day but His grace is amazing. It is sufficient. People do not deserve this grace but God has given it to us. He has already paid in full when He died on the cross for us. We don’t need to earn it or work for it but we just only need to enjoy it. God has finished his work. If anyone of you who’s been struggling or condemning yourself from the sins you have committed, God is telling you right at this moment that He has already forgiven you so forgive yourself now. God would allow even the most painful thing that could ever happen to your life so you would be blessed by Him and use you for His glory. If anyone of you who are probably mad, keep on questioning God or going through some difficulties in life. Keep in your mind that you are never alone in your battle. You may not understand now but in the future, you will understand that God is really working. He is alive. You just have to give it all out to God and surely, he will direct you to what he has in stored for you.  

All of my earthly desires, I surrendered all to Him. To have plenty or nothing, His grace is sufficient. He had already done great things 2000 years ago. I will never cease worshiping and praising him for the rest of my life.

Recently, I just ended my four-year relationship. It took me two years to finally surrender him to Jesus. It didn’t honor God. It wasn’t a Christ-centered relationship. To let go of him was really painful. I thought he was the one I would be marrying. I have planned it already but I know God has better plans.  It was excruciating. But God has helped me go through with this hardship. I believe that with God everything is possible. It says in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Now, I am a living testimony of how unconditional, incomparable and indescribable His love for us. I am great sinner, saved by His grace through faith and now a committed follower of Jesus Christ. All praises, glory and honor to God. God bless you all!