#or I can go on about it as a reward to myself if I get half done

[hrrtshape]

for a lot of people, this idea of being grateful when they're looking at the environment and they don't see it, its hard for them to believe. what can they do to put themselves into gratitude so they can bring that manifestation in? 　　 　　a conversation with a former self.

answer , you stop looking at the world as if it's evidence. you stop treating the environment as a diagnostic tool. your reality isn't a thermometer, it's a mirror. and the mirror reflects what you assume to be true. if you want to see something different, you have to be different first. not reactively. not as a response to the world. but as a premise. gratitude isn't a reward for progress. it's the foundation of it.　

q : but what if that feels fake? what if i can't convince myself?

answer , then you're still worshipping the wrong god. you're still asking reality to go first. you want proof before you believe. but that's not how this works. this isn't a courtroom. this is creation. and creation isn't fair. it's arrogant. it demands that you believe in something before you have any reason to. that's what faith is, not piety. not virtue. just delusion weaponised. and gratitude is its most strategic form.　

q : so i have to lie to myself?

answer , no. you have to choose what kind of liar you want to be. because you're lying either way. when you say 'i'll never get there', you're lying. when you say 'nothing's changing', you're lying. when you say 'i have to wait', you're lying. you just believe those lies because they're easier to prove. but ease isn't truth. evidence isn't truth. if you're going to be delusional, at least be deliberate about it. believe in something that serves you.　

q : okay. but what does that look like in practice?

answer , it looks like thanking the train before it arrives. it looks like saying 'i love my life' with a debt collector on the phone. it looks like sitting in a mouldy flat and whispering 'this is the best it's ever been'. not because you're ignoring the pain. not because you're pretending you're happy. but because you understand that every moment is a seed. and what you water becomes. gratitude is how you choose your future. you don't have to like the present. but you do have to invest in it.　

q : what if it just feels . . . impossible.

answer , then start smaller. thank your lungs. thank your tea. thank your nailbeds. thank the fact that you know what you want. thank the aching gap between you and it. not because pain is romantic. not because suffering is noble. but because that tension is proof you still believe in more. if you were really hopeless, you wouldn't be hurting. you'd be numb. numbness is death. pain is proof you still want.　

q : how does this tie to shifting or loa?

answer , because shifting isn't a portal. it's a premise. it's a refusal. you don't shift because the world gives you permission. you shift because you've revoked its authority. and law of assumption isn't a theory. it's a verdict. it says: what i decide is final. it doesn't say: what i see. it says: what i say. gratitude is your evidence. it's how you close the case. when you say "i'm so glad it's already mine," you're not visualising, you're declaring. legislating.　

q : but why is gratitude so powerful?

answer , because it assumes completion. it skips the middle. it says: i already have it. and the universe responds to assumption, not ambition. desire makes noise. gratitude closes the loop. it doesn't beg. it doesn't chase. it confirms. and what you confirm, conforms. your reality has no choice but to rearrange itself around what you believe is done.　

q : what if i fall out of it? what if i lose the feeling?

answer , then start again. this isn't about consistency. it's about conviction. you can doubt all morning and still decide by noon. you can spiral at 3pm and still affirm at 3:05. you're not being graded. there is no tally. there is only now. and now. and now again. gratitude is not a mood. it's not a vibe. it's not about being high frequency, it's a decision, and you make it as often as you need to.　

q : so what's the actual takeaway?

answer , you go first. always. not the bank account. not the mirror. not the text. you. reality is not a parent. it's not in charge of your feelings. you are. if you want a different scene, you have to be a different actor. gratitude is how you change the genre. the world won't thank you until you thank it. not because it's cruel, but because it's listening.　

q : final question. what do you say to the part of me that still doesn't buy it?

answer , i say she's welcome to stay. she can sit in the corner. she can cross her arms. she can sulk. but she doesn't get to drive. she doesn't get to hold the mic. doubt is not a problem. doubt is not a disqualifier. doubt just means you're smart. but courage is smarter. gratitude is smarter. and they know how to lead.　

[somegrumpynerd]

Okay I know I'm the most biased person about dadmare, but you can't honestly tell me that if Cross started to mention the way xgaster treated him and his brother as children - the way an adult bullied and belittled and abused them - that it wouldn't make Nightmare see red

[sieglinde-freud]

brady might be the best character ever

[theshadowrealmitself]

I fucking love when characters see themselves in someone else

Current thoughts rn is an oc who’s half human and half a species I made up that’s not well known in the federation and only recently joined it awhile ago

And they wanna be a good representation of their non-human species, but stuff keeps happening that makes them feel like they fail at it

And in many ways, they���re different from Spock, cause Spock looks like a Vulcan and wants people to look at him and see a Vulcan who succeeds at being a Vulcan, whereas this oc looks like a human, but wants people to see them as [species I made up]

But they still have some similarities, and they’re crying cause all this drama happened around them, like their fiancé calling off their engagement during the ceremony, and how they feel like their fiancé wouldn’t have done that to them if they weren’t half human, etc

And Spock is just to the side, distinctly aware that he’s had the same thoughts

[monstermoviedean]

at the end of my fucking rope with "conversations" about k12 chronic absenteeism.

[council-of-beetroot]

There's something about say doing a whole bunch of laundry or hand washing all your dishes after cooking a large meal when you're twenty that brings me this strange childlike joy and sense of accomplishment when I do it

It's like sure, I did this stuff prior to adulthood, but that was out of obedience to my mother. Now I am an adult living on my own and now I am doing these things because I have to for me and only me and have to willingly choose to do them

And it's like wow I did it I'm so grown up!

[tomurakii]

Cloudward, Ho! premiering in the middle of my exam week😭😭 d20 mutuals don't talk to me

[moe-broey]

I, uh. Got distracted.

EXHIBIT A:

Oh god these were. Well. The first one I got exactly right, actually! The second one gave me ENDLESS fucking trouble and unfortunately, you can see it's damaged (not in these pics -- I was undoing/redoing So Much). BUT. The important thing (and maybe I'll capture it eventually...?) is that they have a fun dangly effect! They're SUPER CUTE TBH. Made out of jump rings, tiny chain links, and that ball weight thing at the end of an adjustable necklace. All of which, were harvested from necklaces I don't wear anymore/have never worn LMFAOO. I lucked out w the tiny blue beads, I spent forever looking for ANYTHING that would work yesterday, but to no avail. Until I finally found my case of mini mini beads I just couldn't find yesterday LMFAOO (these were the only two like them! Which is also a shame that one did get so damaged, but. What are you gonna do lmfao)

EXHIBIT B:

Not a huge fan of the placement, but. It was a shoddy at home job, anyway (don't pierce your ears at home! 😨😰). These little bead rings are also from a necklace I never ended up wearing, and maybe that's fortunate. They're kinda cheap plastic w paint on em. I imagine, with wear/being pressed against skin, the paint probably would have come off (here's hoping it doesn't here! I feel cheated... but I mean. I don't know why I expected anything different LMFAO). Every time I tried to cut a slot, I just snapped them LMFAOO... they glue back together alright, though. Alls well that ends well! Sharena will have a pair like these too, once her dangly earrings are in!

And. Moe still doesn't have ears, yet. But! Sharena is here to help! 😊

I'm hoping to use these little black beads and layer them in such a way that they look like gauges! I'd prefer to sew them on, ideally. Glue would probably be a last resort... I just don't want to run the risk of losing any parts. At least I have multiple of these ones, but. They're also from a broken bracelet I found on the ground. So. Limited supply.

As for Moe's silver hoops/clickers, I don't want to have Sharena model those. I tried initially, but these (I think they're washers? Also stolen from my dad's stuff) are a lot more heavy duty than a jump ring. I actually scuffed up one of Sharena's ears, trying to fit them on. She's okay, but it was definitely too close for comfort! But that's really good information to have. I think I should insert the earrings to the ears separately, before they're attached to the head. So I have a LOT of room for error and potential destruction LMFAOO 😭🧍 I really like the industrial look the washers give, though! It suits Moe REALLY well tbh, ESPP paired w the angel fangs made out of nails!!!

All in all, I'm EXTREMELY happy w Sharena's dangly earrings! They were really challenging, but sooooooooooo cutes........ I'll def have to like. Post a vid or a gif or something, at a later date (when it's all put together!). And I'm really happy this is the route I chose, for everyone's earrings! LIKE. I had half a thought of using various stitching, which could have been neat too. But. The miniature jewelry............ made out of various beads and chains and objects. Makes me SOOOOO HAPPY. It's just SO fun visually!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I don't know how well matched it'll look when I have to get to shit like armor and buckles, but. Eh. Fuck around and find out. For now, they're CUTE 😤😤😤😤😤

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[carcinized]

lowkey humble bragging on here bc its not acceptable irl but you GUYS. im such a fucking girlboss i cant even lie

[queenerdloser]

my issue with cleaning is that it takes me FOREVER to get up the motivation to do it. like there's nothing that takes as much effort to get past my executive dysfunction except maybe. cooking. (because i hate them both.) but when i actually get started and force myself through it for longer than like 15m? holy shit i can clean forever. i will clean forever. i have done my gross apartment that hasn't been cleaned in like four months in one (1) day multiple times because of this.

[orcelito]

Having a Saturday like "most people I've dated have only really liked me for my body and/or a fake personality I've presented, so when they know the true me it's not enough to keep them around. Anyways let's have some ramen for my 2 pm breakfast."

[riotbeankai]

I really don't know if I can keep doing this job. All the crap I was most afraid of when I was getting my degree that would make me hate doing the job didn't bother me much for the first year or so but now I feel like I'm dying every time I have to come in here and chase people down for important shit that's missing or incorrect that needs to be fixed before I can pay something and I genuinely don't know what to do about it. I feel like I don't really have any other options than to continue working the job I have but I also want to die for the first time in like a decade

[fruitageoforanges]

my latest fic-writing revelation: luke and aemond are both middle child mama’s boys. not sure what that reveals, but it sure does say something.

[tentglitch]

It is taking every fiber of my being not to doordash five guys rn...

[teenagefeeling]

god i forgot to get lunch for work today so i had to go somewhere on my (only 30 min) break and i tried jimmy johns but when i walked in the door the staff were busy and just completely ignored my existence and didn't even look up or acknowledge that i had entered the room literally for several minutes just pretended i didn't exist while i was attempting to make eye contact with the person 3 feet away from me. so that wasted half my break and i had to go to a grocery store and thank god they had some veggie rolls in the sushi area so i grabbed those then had to wait in line at the self checkout for several more minutes then by the time i got back to work and was able to eat it i had exactly 6 minutes of my break left and i gagged a few times trying to eat too fast and still didn't manage to finish it all so i was just starving and also slightly ill for the rest of the day then i get home and my mom is gonna go pick something up from the store and she asks me what i want and frankly i don't have the brainpower for that but i picked a random thing and then she calls me to tell me the store she went to doesn't even carry it. oh and i also only had a granola bar for dinner last night because that's what i have to do when im scheduled from 4-9 and only get a 15 minute break and then have to drive home and go to bed after that. why does the world literally want me to starve to death like why is this so fucking hard?