#ophelia girl i am not doing you justice

[geee-three]

kinda tempted to get a gcse copy of hamlet so i can annotate properly <- wrote "tsukasa tenma coded" four seperate times in her (second) copy of macbeth

[hardcore-direwolf]

🐈‍⬛BLACK CAT🐈‍⬛: A DC's T.T. (2003) & Y.J. (2010) X-Over Imagine

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PLOT: The Team finds out the biggest fears and most shocking truths ever kept from the Black Cat by accidentally reading her secret diary about how she feels about herself. This bad little kitty got some lucky charms and some diamond claws to sharpen out once she comes back from her mission in Tokyo, Japan. How will they react to her changes? Will they uncover her lies about her past? Can they win back her trust?

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MAIN CHARACTERS: Felicia Drusher | Evelina "Eva" Gwendolyn Nelson, Freddie Dinardo | Richard "Dickie" John Grayson, Kaldur'ahm | Jackson "Jack" David Hyde, Wallace "Wally" Rudolph West, Kon-El | Conner "Con" Jonathan Kent, M'gann M'orzz | Megan "Meg" Marie Morse, Xena | Ophelia "Helia" Shauni Trevor, and Artemis "Artie" Lian Crock.

Mentioned Characters: Phoebe Starr | Zatanna "Zee" Zorina Zatara, Raquel "Rocky" Sandra Ervin, Matthew "Matt" Noah Jordan, Lorenzo "Enzo" Kevin Carter, Cyberion Technis | Victor "Vic" Anthony Stone, Craig Wyld | Garfield "Gar" Mark Logan, Abigail Constantine | Rachel "Raven" Angela Roth, and Koriand'r | Korra "Kory" Scarlette Anderson.

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Catgirl was sitting in front of her godfather Batman and spoke to him in sign language. He was listening to her explanation of why she won't talk about her grandmother's powers, the Lucky Girl was half alien and was a magic user. The Dark Knight held his hand up, which made the young girl stop immediately and nodded with an understanding look.

Batman knew her mother and father so well. His friends were loyal and nice to him that they let him hold their daughter, who's sitting on a chair in front of him at a conference room. The billionaire playboy was the first person who saw the symptoms and kept a sharp eye on his godchild, because Catgirl was staying silent about her pain.

"Eva, it's not good for you to hide your powers away and contain them against your will. That inhibitor collar has to come off your neck or they'll be no missions for you anymore, you're hurting yourself and not trusting what you can do. They saw how you can use magic, but this is what made you special and unique like your mother. Let me see your left arm," the Lucky Girl was hesitant and complies, rolling her long sleeve to reveal that the transformation has begun due to negative feelings and emotions. "I do truly appreciate your decisions of getting therapy from Dinah, yet you're still hiding yourself from the Team and not letting them have their pain back Eva. Your mother and her family was excellent help to you...just trust me on this and stop doubting yourself. Your insecurities will haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't tell the Team why you haven't been doing missions with them since wearing the Mask of Destiny and Helmet of Fate...please for the sake of your loved ones. We'll always love you for how caring, kind, loyal, and supportive you've been with all of us...including me."

Catgirl hugs him after pulling her sleeve down and covering the proof. Batman pats her back as she begins silently crying and sobbing. The Dark Knight let her break down into tears and hide her face from the view of Justice League members, who were part of the meeting about the Lucky Girl.

Once the meeting was over, Batman held her hand in his and ruffles her hair. Catgirl smiles sadly up at her godfather and nods. He lets her go back to Mount Justice and hears her designation number being called out.

"Bruce, I know you're worried about her like I am, that's why she got us and the rest." The Dark Knight sighs and hugs his best friend Astro Woman. "We gotta hope for the best and pray nothing bad happens over in the mountain, especially when Wally tends to surprise her the most."

Catgirl walks through the Boom Tube with her bag on her back and tired eyes. Her platinum white wig was miraculously stuck in a high ponytail and her matte black lipstick wasn't stained around her soft lips. The Team heard their teammate walking and saw the Lucky Girl still exhausted from last mission, which almost cost her life.

"Hey Cat, how's your meeting at the Hall of Justice?" Catgirl grumbled softly underneath her breath and tiredly plops onto Wonder Girl, who caught the Lucky Girl on time.

"You want me to carry you to your room Kitty?" The Lucky Girl nodded quietly and clung onto the female demigod's front.

Wonder Girl carries her back into her bedroom and gently set the younger girl onto her bed. Catgirl hums in appreciation and purrs softly as the Amazon warrior pets her head, coaxing her to fall asleep hard. As soon as Wonder Girl heard soft snores and deep breathing from the Lucky Girl, she smiles and puts a blanket over the young girl.

The female demigod carefully left the room and closed the door. Wonder Girl heads back to the lounge, raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend Aqualad and shaking her head no with a deep frown. The Atlantean soldier understood that look and knew it meant there's something wrong with their youngest member.

Ever since the Team was formed...Catgirl was the first heroine to be part of it, she lived in the mountain and was always doing her work at her bedroom due to personal spacing. The Lucky Girl got used to the Boy of Steel and would be his support system whenever he's having problems with Superman, which shocked the Justice League cause the young mute girl rarely let people rather than them and Red Arrow be close to her. The rest of the original members in the Team will treat her like a baby and always adore Catgirl for being independent.

For example...the Team came back wounded and hurt, she sprung from her chair in front of the Super Computer and took them to med bay. Wonder Girl managed to heal herself and helped the Lucky Girl with treating their comrades, though an appreciative comment from the Boy Wonder threw Catgirl's brain off so quick that she went redder than a strawberry. The three teenage girls never stopped pinching her rosy cheeks since that incident, what got the Lucky Girl on her feet and running away into her hiding places from the trio will be the words "DRESS-UP", and all four boys will chuckle from how the mute girl showed fear for the first time.

"Is Cat okay?" Superboy asked the female demigod, worrying about the mute girl who became a baby sister to him.

"The League took her to an important conference meeting this morning, based on her reaction...they wore her out." Robin answered for the Boy of Steel.

"Roy did claim to me that Cat's been keeping a secret from us, he thinks she's the mole...but seriously? If she was the traitor, how come she'll always return back in the mountain stressed out and exhausted? That's the most dumbest thing I'd ever heard," the Amazon warrior explained to them.

"Unless...we could...you know," the teenage speedster suggested, earning raised eyebrows and confused looks until they realize what Kid Flash was trying to suggest.

"Baywatch, Cat will never forgive us if we do that. That's her private diary, it has her personal life in it." Artemis told him, smacking him upside his head.

"First off...Ow! Secondly, don't act like you wanna know what she writes in it." Robin nodded in agreement and the rest was hesitant, but they finally agreed to their plan. "Now who's getting it and the key?"

The Team said "NOT IT" at different times, Robin groans in defeat s the rest gave him pointed looks and the Boy Wonder does the deed. He slowly hacks into the room and slides the door open, seeing the Lucky Girl curled up asleep in a tiny ball. Robin smiles and quietly awes at his crush's cuteness.

'Alright Robin, it's just a book. My crush's book of secrets, it can't be that bad.' The Boy Wonder thought as he sneakily took her book case with the key and leaves the dark bedroom without being noticed. 'Cat must be dead asleep from that meeting with our mentors, poor little kitten must be tired from all those mission reports as well to stack that much stress on her body.'

Robin silently closes the door and resets the password to her grandma's name. Kid Flash immediately takes his best friend to the living room and they high-five with proud grins on their faces. The Team sat down on their chosen spots as Miss Martian takes the book and opens the case with the key.

"This is so wrong in so many levels guys," the female archer said while seeing the front cover has a picture of her with the Team on it. "She got us on the front and the back...let's hurry and agree not to do this anymore."

The female Martian takes the personal book out from the case and sets the diamond box down. Catgirl's private diary was themed with black words, gray covers, white paper, and silver lining. Miss Martian gulps nervously and passes the book to Wonder Girl, who gave her best friend a wide-eyed look of disbelief.

"M'gann," the female demigod said with an offended look. "How could you? I'm not dying in the hands of a twelve year old girl...here Rob, you read it."

The Boy Wonder pouts at Wonder Girl and opens the book. Robin begins reading it out loud to his comrades, blushing when he finds out Catgirl got a crush on him and saw many insecure thoughts she has about herself. Red Arrow was wrong about the Lucky Girl, but they were beginning to feel concern on the mute girl's issues and problems.

"Ever since the League found out what was happening to me within the Helmet of Fate, I've been contacting my grandfather Kent through Nabu with my grandma's help and assistance with the Mask of Destiny. All the stress, fear, and pain was causing negative reactions to my powers and humanity. My father fixed one of those problems...that golden collar on my neck, it was containing my alien side from losing control and it sorta helped me. After twelve years of it on my neck, it's not working and was making it worse. The Team are starting to see signs of it, I've lost my appetite with food last week, I couldn't get sleep since a few months ago, and becoming much sensitive with my emotions on a daily basis that Batman forced me into therapy sessions with Black Canary. I'm afraid of the rejection and betrayal the people I cared the most think of me. There's five stages of it, I went through four of them, the fifth one will be most painful one cause this will damage me inside out and turn me into a monstrous freak. I got many anxiety attacks and went into panic mode during the meeting. I'm not relieved from it, not because my grandmother injected me with my painkillers and antidepressants...I had almost hurt the League. I know they're scared of me...who won't? After all, I'm nothing but a burden and a monster. Nobody can change that, not even the Team...I should probably run away and never return to Earth after tomorrow night when everyone's asleep. They won't be hurt anymore...especially when I'm gone far away from my grandmother's home planet." Robin read, closing it and putting it inside the black box.

The Boy Wonder locked the box shut and hung the key back onto its hook behind the case. Robin got up from his spot and walks to his crush's room. The Team watches their youngest male teammate slowly opens the door and sees that Catgirl was still resting.

Kid Flash ushers Robin out of the room and freezes when the Lucky Girl moves in her sleep. The rest drags the two boys out from her room before letting Superboy close the door shut and hearing it lock itself automatically. The Team frowns sadly as they stared at Catgirl's bedroom door and felt guilty for how they assumed that she's the mole.

The next day inside the mountain, Catgirl wakes up and does her daily routine before taking her prescribed medication. The Lucky Girl rolls up her long sleeves and gasps silently when she sees it got worse than ever from the nightmarish thoughts echoing her head. The mute girl takes a deep breath and hides the proof from view.

"Kitty, are you up yet?" Wonder Girl asked the Lucky Girl.

The young child quickly grabs her baggy jacket and a pair of black sweatpants to conceal how her casual clothes she loves wearing the most have vanished. Catgirl puts on her wig and applied her makeup before putting on her shades. The Lucky Girl heads out of her room with her bag strapped on her back with her diary case hidden inside it and walks to the kitchen for some fruit.

Once she found a green apple, the Black Cat vigilante took a bite from it and passes her teammates with a greeting wave. Catgirl pets Wolf and rubs Sphere gently with a softened look while going outside to the beach. The Lucky Girl begins absorbing some solar energy and feeling it generate some pure cosmic mana for her to devour by consuming the life-force phoenix within her inner self.

Inside the mountain, Robin begun hacking into the cameras and managed to get full access to the beach's ones. The Team watched Catgirl meditate by herself on a large rock and levitating, which made them shocked cause they thought it was all something she wrote behind their backs. The Lucky Girl used her mana to grab a bottle of nectar and drank the liquid, humming in content while she takes pure magic energy from the Sun and use the life-force from the Moon to try fixing her issues.

"Everything in that book was true, she does have powers." Kid Flash said.

The seven heroes noticed something glowing from her left side, the Team gasps in disbelied when Catgirl rolls up her long sleeves to reveal that her right arm was scarred and her left arm was encased with some kind of cosmic ice mana. They continued seeing the Lucky Girl getting distressed and on high alert. The mute girl begun taking deep breaths and slowly tries to calm down.

"That was her secret," their leader told them after understanding why she wore long sleeves and anything baggy.

"Recognize: Catgirl; B-0-0."

The Team froze to hear their beloved comrade's designation number called out by the Super Computer and knew she's behind them now. Wonder Girl slowly turns and sees Catgirl, who was looking scared and was actually frightened. The rest followed and knew by her scared expression that the Lucky Girl was caught red-handed.

"Cat, it's not what it looks like. We're worried about you," the Lucky Girl immediately flinches when Superboy takes a step forward and tries not to lose her composure.

"What was that on your arm?" Catgirl shook her head no while backing away and panting with a horrified look on her face.

"We're not gonna hurt you Kitty, we wanna help you get through this...just trust us okay?" Wonder Girl told her, following the mute girl and walking closer to the young child's personal space.

'Get away Opal, stay away from me.' Catgirl thought while shaking like crazy and trying not to lose control of her powers. 'Stay away from me, stay away from me, stay away from me...'

The Team could see that Catgirl was sweating from the fear and discomfort while she cuffs her hands together to keep her powers in check. The Lucky Girl's inner self was trying their best with her host and attempting to comfort the mute girl from the tension. As soon as Wonder Girl got closer, their six comrades grew concerned and wait for the next move.

"I said...STAY...AWAY...FROM ME!!!" An energy wave of mana was shot through her hands and hit Wonder Girl hard along with their loved ones, who groaned in pain from the magic blast.

'I hurt them,' the Lucky Girl thought with fear and guilt. 'I really am a monster...'

Robin watches Catgirl rushes into the Boom Tube through blurry eyes, hearing her call number and passing out with his six best friends. The Lucky Girl made it to her stop at the nearest subway station and luckily got herself a ticket. She sat down on the bench and wait for her subway train to come.

"Excuse me miss," the Lucky Girl turned to see some little kids and gave them a wave. "Do you got some food and water for us?"

Catgirl nodded, she begun taking out some sandwiches and bottles of water from her duffle bag. The kids thanked the mute girl and hugged her, which she responded with a pat on their backs and ruffling the hair on their heads. The Lucky Girl got her violin and thought about something to do for the children.

The selectively mute girl put her duffle bag to the side with a protective mana shield around it and stood on the bench. Catgirl thought about the hard times and good memories she have with the Team. The Lucky Girl takes a deep breath and begins playing her song.

Once the song ended, the people surrounding her applauded for her performance and put some money into her backpack. Catgirl bows for the crowd and hands some candy to the children, who cheered for her generous gifts to them. The Lucky Girl put her violin back in its case and heard her train number.

'Great, Raven and the rest are going after me too.' Catgirl thought as she heard her crow cawing ring tone for Raven, hanging up and setting her phone on silent mode.

Meanwhile near New York City, the Team couldn't find their Black Cat and won't give up searching for the mute girl. Catgirl's icy aura left some trails that leads to her and the seven sidekicks followed them to reach the fixed subway station underground at Manhattan. The Lucky Girl must've gotten down there for a train ticket and go somewhere else.

Around Broadway, Catgirl stepped onto her destination and gave a sincere smile to the people who helped her with her things. The Lucky Girl walked upstairs and saw the lights in amazement. The mute girl was relieved that her clothes she wore was back in her bag, but her gym clothes was affected by the transformation and was worrying her a lot.

The transformation was almost done, Catgirl got until midnight and the pain will fade from her body by replacing it with euphoria. Her inner alien side was keeping her stable from the toxicity of every environment and person she walks into by accident. The Lucky Girl tightens her cloak and vanishes into the shadows of night.

"Cat? Cat, where are you? Please come back home, we miss you." The Lucky Girl froze to hear the worry and saw the concerns of the Team's faces.

Catgirl gulps while looking at the mirror, seeing that it was getting darker and the metamorphosis was getting close to completion. She checks her watch and went scared...it was around eleven fifty-five at night, which meant her travel through New York City and its famous place must've been lasting longer than a hour. Catgirl kept her breaths silent and her heart couldn't stop beating like crazy.

The Lucky Girl suddenly shivers from the cold air and tries not to sneeze, which will trigger Superboy into finding her first. She held back the noise while sneaking away and going between a billboard. Catgirl sighs in relief until she lets out a sneeze, which sounds soft and cute like a kitten.

The Cadmus clone heard Catgirl's adorable sneeze, freezing and snapping his head at the billlboard. His six teammates followed his glance to the billboard where they were having a music award show and realized that she was in Broadway. Catgirl begun panicking with distress while her ice mana went into waves of energy and kept glowing bright like the stars in the sky.

"Kitty, please...for everyone's sake, just show yourself and we'll take you home...safe and sound." Catgirl scoffed from Wonder Girl's words in response, she sees a clear opening and takes a deep breath. "Cat...I don't wanna chase you all through morning, it's Saturday now and all I wanna do now...is sleep."

Catgirl's black pupils turned into slits and she let her transformation consume her completely after hearing her watch beep, signaling that it has struck midnight. The Lucky Girl starts flying in the air and the Team begun chasing her. Catgirl dodged the signs and construct some cold mana to block her loved ones from grabbing her.

The mute girl found herself flying to Central Park and hiding inside one of the cherry blossom trees, shifting into a white cat with blue eyes and black collar that has a silver bell on it. The Team reached there, they didn't see her use her witch arts to turn into a cat and climb up the blooming tree. Robin and Artemis saw ice footprints of a cat leading up to the tree they saw in front of them.

"Cat, please come down." Robin said, desperately begging for his crush to come down the tree.

"No! Go away!" Catgirl replied, refusing to come down and face her fifteen loved ones. "Y'all went through my book and spied on me to see my secret! I just wanna be left alone...like I'm always been."

The Boy Wonder begun climbing up the tree, seeing Catgirl as a domestic white feline heal herself with her mana to close the scars and burns away. Robin sees the burns on the cloak and knew they accidentally hurt her during their chase, which led to her using her magic for a portal as a transportation route to Central Park. Not only that, Catgirl took off the cloak and left it behind after it made her feel uncomfortable.

He kept his eyes alert while she shifts out of that form and reveals something...beautiful. The Lucky Girl was looking extraordinary within her final alien form and was trying not to have another anxiety attack. Catgirl felt a familiar presence close to her space, which meant her crush and destined mate have found her.

The younger vigilante slowly turns and grew scared to see Robin staring at her form. She saw his hand reaching out for her and flinches out of fear. The Boy Wonder shushes her soft whimpers as he pulls her in a hug and she breaks down into tears.

"Shhh, it's okay Cat, we're not hurt, you're not alone." Robin said, comforting the Lucky Girl as she hiccups and sobs in his chest. "We're sorry for what we've done...please, just come home with us."

Catgirl closes her eyes and lets the Boy Wonder carry her out of the cherry blossom tree. The rest of the Team freezes to see the Lucky Girl went through her final transformation and became her true form. Robin cradles her close while she cries softly in his chest and clung onto him tight.

Catgirl slowly relaxes and turns to face the Team with her head down. When she raises her head up, Miss Martian was shocked to see an Anodite for the very first time and realized that bedtime stories about that alien species from her uncle were true...the Lucky Girl was one of them. The female Martian walks over to the shy girl and hugs her tight, causing Catgirl to freeze with shock and accidentally release a wave of mana from her body that made the rest of the Team relaxed.

'Oh you poor little thing,' the female Martian said to Catgirl in a telepathic link while holding Catgirl.

'Why M'gann,' the Lucky Girl whined while blushing and hugging her back. 'Conner, help me...she won't let me go now.'

Superboy joins the hug with the rest of their friends, Catgirl pouts at the alien couple in betrayal for their friendly affections on her and how it spread towards them. The Lucky Girl's inner felt the trust and safety within all fifteen sidekicks, leading for the shy girl to close her eyes in content. As soon as the Team pulled away, Catgirl opens her eyes and felt somebody holding her hand in theirs.

Robin squeezes it in reassurance before kissing her forehead and she squeaks, flustering madly while the rest smiles at the two vigilantes. Catgirl crosses her arms and grew a bit confident. The Boy Wonder sees the mischievous smile written on her lips and was suddenly floating around her cyan mana hair, staring at his crush in amazement for pulling that trick while their loved ones watched the two from above.

"You're beautiful Cat, I wish I could've help you with your pain." Robin told her softly while she hugs him and hums with a bright grin on his face.

"You and the Team did that, I can actually sense the genuine worry and concern y'all have for me. I finally realized that I wasn't alone anymore, I have all of you...especially you pretty bird." Catgirl replied before kissing him passionately and smiling when Robin kisses her back.

The two pulled away as the Lucky Girl helped them both safely on lower ground and smiled at each other, chuckling at the romantic scenario with amusement. Robin was about to kiss her again when Kid Flash cheekily takes Catgirl and zooms away from his best friend. The Boy Wonder gawks at the speedster in shock as he storms after him and tries to grab his Black Cat back.

"Did you get your picture now Artie?" Artemis nodded with a victorious smirk and sends it to Roy with the money signs on it.

"Told that jerk Robin will be her first kiss, he lost big time." Her four comrades chuckled before heading into the Bio-Ship with their female archer.

Robin came back with Catgirl over his shoulder and back in her human form at last, setting her down by his side. Kid Flash sped up and went in the ship next. The two vigilantes smile before stepping into there and holding hands together...as a young couple.

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WARNING: FLUFF, ANGST, MUSH, HURT, COMFORT.

⊶☽⊷❍⊶☾⊷❍⊶☽⊷⊶☾⊷❍⊶☽⊷❍⊶☾⊷⊶☽⊷❍⊶☾⊷❍⊶☽⊷⊶☾⊷❍⊶☽⊷❍⊶☾⊷

COMMENT DOWN BELOW & FOLLOW.

[multitudecontainer420]

discovery - daft punk, random access memories - daft punk, cross - justice, the velvet underground & nico - the velvet underground, bjork, strawberry switchblade - s/t, klaus nomi - s/t, joanna newsom, spring session m - missing persons, the buggles - the age of plastic, visions - grimes, Geidi Primes - Grimes, hawkwind - s/t, boston - boston, don't look back - boston, out of the blue - electric light orchestra, time - electric light orchestra, halmens, radio fantasy - ippu-do, tadaima - akiko yano, take me home - cher, freedom of choice - devo, milk man - deerhoof, apple o - deerhoof, tomoko aran, Cymbals, fleet foxes - s/t, when the red king comes - elf power, mind how you go - the advisory circle, Fiona apple, stereolab, the 5000 spirits or the layers of the onion - the incredible string band, janelle monae, emotion - carly rae jepsen, kala - m.i.a., talking heads, palm grease - herbie hancock, nothing to fear - oingo boingo, dead man's party - oingo boingo, river of dreams - billy joel, tropico - pat Benatar, pamyu pamyu revolution - kyary pamyu pamyu, halcali bacon - halcali, a flock of seagulls - s/t, asia - s/t, Astra - asia, melodies memories - dorian, abraxas - santana, supernatural - santana, the low spark of high heeled boys - traffic, daniel johnston, jad fair, half japanese, whatever- aimee mann, I'm with stupid - aimee mann, hot sauce committee pt 2 - beastie boys, the charm of the highway strip - the magnetic fields, a few small repairs - shawn colvin, loveless - my bloody valentine, screamadelica - primal scream, the low end theory - a tribe called quest, are you experienced - the jimi hendrix experience, 3 feet high & rising - de la soul, flower boy - tyler the creator, call me if you get lost the estate sale - tyler the creator, lush - snail mail, return to the 36 chambers the dirty version - ol dirty bastard, tender trap- s/t, pink hearts yellow moons - dressy bessy, remission - mastodon, leviathan - mastodon, once more round the sun - mastodon, astro lounge - smash mouth, odelay - beck, three imaginary boys - the cure, wish - the cure, fantasma - Cornelius, sensuous - Cornelius, cibo matto, takako minekawa, pram, rid of me- pj harvey, to bring you my love - pj harvey, horses - patti smith, i love rock n roll - joan jett & the blackhearts, up your alley - joan jett & the blackhearts, swamp Ophelia - indigo girls, the go-go's, tragic Kingdom - no doubt, garbage - s/t, world Clique - deee-lite, towa tei, meet the supremes - the supremes, supremes a go go - the supremes, leader of the pack - the Shangri-las, midnite vultures - beck, another green world - brian eno, finding shore - brian eno & tom Rogerson, Tudo Foi Feito Pelo Sol - Os Mutantes, Gal Costa - Gal Costa, Wave - Antonio Carlos Jobim, tmbg, Psychic Chasms - Neon Indian, Bouncing off the Satellites - the B-52's, Radio - L. L. Cool J, Ghost In The Machine - the Police, Making Movies - Dire Straits, Delicate Sound of Thunder - Pink Floyd, Tracy Chapman - s/t, hyperspace - beck, schmilco - wilco, Technique - New Order, bloom - beach house, AM - Arctic monkeys, The Colour and the Shape - Foo Fighters, The Who Sell Out - The Who, Burning for You - The Strawbs, Full Circle - The Doors, i want more - can, the raincoats s/t, shonen knife - candy rock, shonen knife - genki shock, touch - Eurythmics, i will catch u - nokko, secrets of the beehive - david sylvian, japan - gentleman take polaroids, sweet revenge - ryuichi sakamoto, Hidari Ude No Yume - ryuichi sakamoto, philharmony - haruomi hosono, paraiso - haruomi hosono, s-f-x haruomi hosono, The Man In The Dark Sedan - Snakefinger, Manual of Errors - Snakefinger, Stairway To Hell / Sex Is No Emergency - Monte Cazazza, Ignobles Limaces - Ptôse, Memorial Hits - The Residents, What's That Noise? - Coldcut, People Hold On - Coldcut, Weird Feelings - The Weird Weeds, Arrest - Powerdove, To Be Free - Gary Hassay + Paul Rogers, Broods - Fat Worm Of Error, The Tunes of Two Cities - The Residents,

tango in the night - Fleetwood mac, then play on - Fleetwood mac, welcome plastics - plastics, juicy fruits, jill sobule - s/t, Beauty and the Beat - Edan, The Ecstatic - Mos Def, Fear of the Unknown - Martin Briley, Pandemonium Shadow Show - Harry Nilsson, Aerial Ballet - Harry Nilsson, ai no poltergeist - mayumi kojima, there is no other - isobel Campbell, amorino - isobel Campbell, Elephant Mountain - The Youngbloods, Their Satanic Majesties Request - the Rolling Stones, yesterday and today - the beatles, after you left - mirah, Schizophrenia - Wayne Shorter, wataru takada, Gilberto Gil - Gilbert Gil (1968), Caetano Veloso - Caetano Veloso (1967), Caetano Veloso - Estrangeiro, Os Mutantes - Os Mutantes, geek the girl - Lisa Germano, It's After the End of the World - Sun Ra, Solo Piano Venice 1977 - Sun Ra, Song of Innocence - David Axelrod, Recurring - Spacemen 3, Domine Libera Nos - The Space Lady, A Monastic Trio - Alice Coltrane, Getz/Gilberto, Very - Pet Shop Boys, Breaking Atoms - Main Source, Me Me Me - Air Miami,, Miracle - Amii Ozaki, Make More Noise! Women in Independent Music UK 1977-1987, Thanks for the Music - Citrobal, Steppin - the Pointer Sisters, Illuminations - Buffy Sainte-Marie, Sharp - Angela Winbush, wave - anri, Belinda - Belinda Carlisle, single life - cameo, kissing to be clever - culture club, robyn - honey, klymaxx, Marshall Crenshaw - s/t, Computer Games - George Clinton, the key - joan armatrading, Dirty Work - The Rolling Stones, Quatermass s/t, I Robot - The Alan Parsons Project, the cars - complete greatest hits, Hard Nose the Highway - Van Morrison, A Night at the Opera - Queen, Don't Look Back - Boston, shiina Ringo, jun togawa guernica, go-bang's, radiator music - mark beyer, tokyo reggae clash - v.a., reggae christmas - v.a., drive to heaven - v.a., ABQ =/= LAX - v.a., Rodan - Sato Michihiro, i feel for you - chaka khan, stronger than pride - sade, i just can't stop it - the english beat, top gear - television personalities, don't cry baby.... it's only a movie - television personalities, the orange juice - orange juice, volume contrast brilliance - the monochrome set, what a whopper - the monochrome set, mark Robinson teen beat records, k records, nick cave, lene lovich, sopor aeternus, karia nomoto, kyoko Koizumi, akiko wada, meiko kaji, blancmage - happy families

[starlightcleric]

"toska" for Ophelia?

So... I failed at writing Ophelia/Arue fluff and it's a bit angsty instead.

Also on AO3

toska: the ache of the soul; longing with nothing to long for

-

She has always been empty. A vessel longing for more. Her life has not always been kind, it is true. Is it not natural for a creature to yearn for the comforts they are never given, the kindness they are never shown?

But it is the Aeon that shows her how broken she is, how imperfect. In this perfect sense of Justice she will cast off her ragged edges and she will find purpose. A perfect drive for perfect balance.

It is of course Arueshalae that shows her how imperfect she still is. Ophelia can see her sins. There are many. But she cannot cast Arueshalae out. For is she not striving to do better? Does that not count for something?

It is a mercy. (And this is a concept that is foreign to the Aeon, foreign to Ophelia. Mercy has no place in the judgments of the Aeon, in the judgments of Pharasma, and therefore should have no place in the judgments of Ophelia.)

It is illogical. (That a creature should strive against its nature. That an immortal being should wish to become mortal. That Ophelia wants it for her.)

It is love? (This gives her pause, stumps her.)

-

Ophelia finds Arueshalae on the cliffs of Nexus, sitting with her knees pulled up to her chin, staring out at the city. She sits down beside her, red coat pooling on the ground. Saying nothing. Waiting.

“I can feel its pull,” says Arueshalae. “It’s a yearning inside myself. And I hate it.”

Ophelia feels nothing but disgust for Alushinyrra so she says nothing.

Arueshalae continues, “It’s like a pull of a void, daring me to teeter over the edge. I want, I want, I want!” She buries her face in her knees.

Ophelia lays a hand on her arm. “I’m here. I’ll be there to stop you.”

Is it a promise? Or a threat?

But Arueshalae looks at her with the biggest eyes full of tears and Ophelia knows. I want.

-

Much time later, after the Abyss, after the dream, after Desna grants Arueshalae mortality, Ophelia finds her on the roof of the tavern. Arueshalae is curled up on herself again, staring at the stars.

Ophelia sits down quietly next to her.

“It’s strange,” Arueshalae says without looking at her. “I thought it would be different. And it is. I’m not fighting against myself anymore. But I still am? There’s still this emptiness inside, this yearning for something more. Am I still too broken to be mortal?”

Ophelia stares at her with unblinking eyes of starlight. As Arueshalae has embraced mortality, so has she embraced eternity. She no longer has these doubts because she knows her purpose. She knows what she must do.

Still… she falters, the young dhampir girl bleeding through a crack. “No. No, you’ve got it right. This is what it feels to be mortal. Everyone feels this way sometimes.”

“Oh,” says Arueshalae, relaxing a little. “So I’m not crazy, I’m just… messy.”

But the Aeon is watching. The Aeon is always watching and Ophelia is the Aeon and Aeons do not have doubts, do not falter, are not messy. Do not dream.

Ophelia can still die, but she can no longer be classified as “a mortal.”

So she simply says, “Yes.”

[babylon-crashing]

for another day full of poetry/ i’ll suggest

may the tide

that is entering even now

the lip of our understanding

carry you out

beyond the face of fear

may you kiss

the wind then turn from it

certain that it will

love your back may you

open your eyes to water

water waving forever

and may you in your innocence

sail through this to that

~ lucillie clifton, “blessing of the boats”

“If you can't be free, be a mystery.” ~ Rita Dove.

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” ~ Audre Lorde.

“Sister! your foot's smaller / but it's still on my neck.” ~ Pat Parker.

“Justice don't mean nothin' to a/ hateful heart!” ~ June Jordan.

“B.D. women, sure you can't understand/ But they got a head like a sweet angel/ And they walk just like a natural man.” ~ Lucille Bogan

“We/ Jazz June/ We/ die soon.” ~ Gwendolyn Brooks.

“I will say:/ Most men are afraid of me, you know?/ Or, I will say:/ In my culture we do not take our men's names as our own/ You have nothing for me/ I have my own name/ I know/ now how this body works/ How it will never let a name go until it has taken it into the mouth and fed it to the breath/ I still know by heart." ~ Safia Elhillo.

“We're flawless, ladies. Tell 'em/ say, ‘I look so good tonight’/ God damn, God damn, God damn.” ~ Beyonce.

“Sappho was a right-on woman.” ~ bumper sticker.

“The woman who takes a woman lover lives dangerously in patriarchy.” ~ Cheryl Clarke.

“The pastor makes twenty-four/ references to hell / in the sermon at church and forgets/ to talk / about love." ~ Yrsa Daley-Ward.

“How to dance in blood and remain sane?” ~ Sonia Sanchez.

"you can't make homes out of human beings/ someone should have already told you that / and if he wants to leave/ then let him leave / you are terrifying/ and strange and beautiful/ something not everyone knows how to love." ~ Warsan Shire.

“Thick thighs save lives.” ~ Lizzo.

“Mandy Lee Jones does her vampin’ at night,/ And she never gets home till it's comin' daylight./ Old Uncle Bill came 'bout half-past ten,/ Put the key in the hole, but he couldn't get in.” ~ Clara Smith.

“You judge a woman/ by what she can do for you alone/ but there’s no need/ for slaves to have slaves.” ~ Essex Hemphill.

"I want to say 'Be!' to her but am an ordinary soul./ I watch for the fold under her eye to twitch. / I have many dreams, I say to her./ In my dreams I am better than myself." ~ Ladan Osman.

SIBLINGS Hurricanes, 2005

Arlene learned to dance backwards in heels that were too high. Bret prayed for a shaggy mustache made of mud and hair. Cindy just couldn't keep her windy legs together. Dennis never learned to swim. Emily whispered her gusts into a thousand skins. Franklin, farsighted and anxious, bumbled villages. Gert spat her matronly name against a city's flat face. Harvey hurled a wailing child high. Irene, the baby girl, threw pounding tantrums. José liked the whip sound of slapping. Lee just craved the whip. Maria's thunder skirts flew high when she danced. Nate was mannered and practical. He stormed precisely. Ophelia nibbled weirdly on the tips of depressions. Philippe slept too late, flailing on a wronged ocean. Rita was a vicious flirt. She woke Philippe with rumors. Stan was born business, a gobbler of steel. Tammy crooned country, getting the words all wrong. Vince died before anyone could remember his name. Wilma opened her maw wide, flashing rot.

None of them talked about Katrina. She was their odd sister, the blood dazzler.

~ Patricia Smith

[the-al-chemist]

The Beginning of a Symphony - Chapter 16

Summary: Ethel and Selene become Suffragettes.

OCs featured: Professor Lavinia MacMillan @kc-and-co, Selene Fraser and Carolyn Nyberg @lifeofkaze, Adelia Selwyn @thatravenpuffwitch.

OCs mentioned: Victoria Summer @whatwouldvalerydo, Lottie Gallagher and Lysander Mercury @slytherindisaster, Winona Rosewood @usernoneexistent, Marigold Sterling @that-scouse-wizard, Siobhan Llewelyn @kc-and-co.

Warnings: discussion of misogyny.

April 1896

“Miss Hexley, what are you doing there?” Professor Macmillan, the Herbology teacher, asked Ethel, one eyebrow raised at the ropes that were currently binding her wrists to the banister of the grand staircase.

“I’m campaigning, professor,” Ethel informed her. “Professor, did you know that Muggle women are not legally permitted to partake in political discourse or even to vote?”

“I was already aware of that fact, yes.”

“Well, do you not think that this is a dastardly miscarriage of justice? I certainly do. That is why Selene and I have tied ourselves to the banisters. We are showing our solidarity with the poor souls, and raising awareness about their plight.”

“I see,” Professor Macmillan frowned. “And where is Miss Fraser?”

“Over there,” unable to point, Ethel jerked her head in the direction of the flight of stairs where Selene was tied to another banister, deep in conversation with a group of Ravenclaw girls from their own year. “We thought that we might cover more ground if we worked the stairs separately. We are hoping to recruit more members for our society.”

“Society?”

“Yes, the Society for Witches in Support of Women’s Suffrage. Or, S.W.S.W.S. for short. So far, it is Selene, Victoria, Lottie, Winona, and me. Would you like to join, too? We are hoping to have our first meeting this evening, and yours really would be a very welcome presence.”

“I appreciate the offer, Miss Hexley, but I’m afraid that I am off schoolgrounds this evening,” said Professor Macmillan. “But I am glad that you are spending your time focussing on such a worthwhile cause, rather than making trouble.” She smiled and nodded her head at the Slytherin girls walking down the flight of stairs towards them, “Perhaps you shall have more luck with these young ladies.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Ethel muttered as Professor Macmillan walked away, but she raised her voice and greeted the girls with a wide and winning smile anyway. “Carolyn, Adelia, Marigold! You are all strong, independent witches.”

“What do you want, Hexley?” Carolyn Nyberg asked, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Well, seeing as you asked, I dare say that I should rather like your help. You see, my dear sister Selene and I are attempting to bring about a great societal shift that will benefit the Muggle members of our sex to no end.”

“Are you now?” Adelia Selwyn raised one eyebrow.

“Yes. You may not be aware, Pureblooded as you are, that Muggle women are not privy to the same rights that are afforded to their male counterparts in regard to matters of a political nature,” said Ethel. “Naturally, this is most unjust, and it is this injustice that the Society for Witches in Support of Women’s Suffrage wishes to correct. We are currently looking to recruit new members to the society and-”

“Are you in charge of this society?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then we are not interested,” Carolyn gave Ethel tight-lipped and insincere smile.

“But Carolyn, do you not care that Muggle women are not allowed to vote?”

“Not enough to want to spend time with you, Ethel.”

“Well, there is no need to be rude,” Ethel pouted, and the Slytherin girls began to walk away. She attempted to appeal to the better nature of the one bringing up the rear. “Ophelia, what say you? Do you wish to join the society?”

“No,” Ophelia Burke shook her head, frowning as if confused. “I don’t see the point. Why would a woman want to vote when she could have her husband do it for her?”

Ethel’s jaw dropped, and she was about to launch into a lengthy explanation as to exactly what the point was, when the staircase moved, carrying her away from the Slytherins, settling so that her flight of stairs was directly adjacent to Selene’s.

“Hello!” Ethel called out.

“Hello,” replied Selene. “How’s the recruitment going for you?”

“I’m afraid that it could be better,” Ethel admitted. “No new members yet, but Professor Macmillan did say that we could use her greenhouse to hold the meeting tonight.”

“Did she? How wonderful. I shall have to tell that Shiv that is where we will be meeting.”

“Shiv’s decided to join?”

“Yes, I was speaking to all of the girls from their dormitory. They said that they’d all be delighted to join us.”

“Even Héloïse Perrault ?”

“Well, she did not say so in quite so many words, of course,” said Selene. “But she nodded her head. So I assume she will be joining. Though I’m not certain that she understood what it was that she was joining, precisely.”

“That is no matter, we can tell her later if necessary,” Ethel told Selene, whose staircase began to move. “Farewell, Selly!”

“Goodbye, Effy!” Selene called out, as she was carried away by the moving staircase. “And good luck!”

Selene’s well-wishing must have worked, because no sooner had she departed than Ethel was approached by her brother.

“Ah, Jimmy. Just the person.”

“Oh, um… Er, Effy, what are you… That is to say, why are you… Did you tie yourself to the staircase or was this one of Lysander’s pranks?”

“You know as well as I do that I would never fall prey to such a jape as this,” Ethel said, offended by the very insinuation. “No, this is no jape at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. I am partaking in a vital humanitarian campaign. One in which I am most in need of the assistance of my dear little brother.”

“I am less than one hour younger than you!”

“Even so, I am the elder, and so you must assist me when I ask you.”

“Must I?”

“Yes. That is how families work, Jimmy.”

Jim sighed, deeply and almost crossly. “What assistance… Why me? What is that you want from me?”

“Well, as you are so interested, I shall tell you,” Ethel beamed, “Selene and I are setting up a political movement, and require campaign posters. You are always doodling away, I thought that you might like to lend your artistic talent to our noble cause.”

“No,” Jim said quickly. “No, I do not wish… You know my drawings - drawings, not doodles - are private. I don’t like to…”

“What is the point in you doing all your sketching if you ever intend on letting anyone see the finished results?”

“That is not… They are not for others, just for me.”

“Jimmy, please! We are in desperate need of an artist!”

“There are others who fit that description. Lysander might-”

“We are not that desperate,” Ethel scowled at the very idea of Lysander Mercury being a part of her society. “Oh, don’t be such a downer, Jim! Be a good, supportive brother and come to my incredibly important meeting.” She sighed, before smirking and changing tack, “You know, Héloïse will be there.”

“And why… That is not… Um, really?” Ethel nodded, and Jim took a breath before nodding his head. “Very well, Effy. But, er, this is only because you are my sister, you understand?”

Ethel’s smile widened, and she tilted her head at her brother, who averted his eyes.

“Oh, I understand perfectly, Jimmy.”

[ophelia-and-the-damned]

I’m aware that on a lot of academia and aesthetic blogs, owners hesitate to post social justice because it doesn’t “fit with their theme.” Furthermore, some people on here aren’t comfortable talking politics, and will avoid discussions about activism.

Just to make it absolutely clear to anyone who even slightly stumbles into my account, yes, I am pro-LGBTQIA+ (The T and A DO belong, Terfs DNI), black lives DO matter, COVID is NOT a conspiracy created by your Asian neighbors and fellow citizens, the vaccine is NOT a microchip and does save lives, the actions at the border are monstrous and need to be handled no matter who is in charge, women in America STILL have a long way to go before we can be treated as equals to men (look up stories about women trying to get permanent sterilizations and then tell me that sexism doesn’t exist in the medical US of A), women should ALWAYS have access to abortion, the actions by lawmakers in Texas ARE monstrous, Russia is NOT a conservative utopia, it’s actually terrible to live in if you’re a member of a marginalized community (??? Can’t believe I’ve seen people argue this), and there DOES need to be police reform and defunding, no matter how radical that sounds.

I’m far left. I think I actually qualify as a philosophical anarchist on the political spectrum. I know to a lot of people this might sound aggressive, particularly if you come from a traditionally white suburbia like I do. But please do some research, into the BLM movement, critical race theory, modern gender theory, the impacts of colonialism and how they affect us even now, racial objectification in the media, etc. Look into the origin of police forces. Learn why the new Texas abortion laws are so destructive to the foundations of our country (if you live in the US, of course).

I hate to have to post this, because I know I’m coming off as just another white girl whining on tumblr about things she “doesn’t have a stake in” and a lot of people on here would say something like “have loyalty to your race” (this site has a huge neonazi problem). But I do have a stake in this. My fellow college students come from all kinds of backgrounds. I’ve met people from all over the world, like Vietnam and France and Morocco and India, and they’re important to me because they’re all part of my community. I’m queer (Pan-romantic demisexual), a good amount of my friends are LGBT, and of course, I am a woman. I’m a human being. Of course I want to see other people treated like human beings. Pretending that everything is fine is only making it worse.

I can’t post any of this on my social media that has my real name, because my family would fucking kill me (very conservative background, my mother nearly disowned me when she found out that I had a crush on a girl in middle school). I accidentally admitted that I’m newly vegetarian at a family gathering and they all lost their minds over something as small as that. I had a breakdown regarding the treatment of BLM protestors back in June and my mother threatened to cancel my college application because she thought I was being dramatic. I know that it’s still bad that I have to hide this away, and I guess that this can be viewed as a kind of confession because I feel an intense amount of guilt about it. White silence is a real thing and by posting stuff like this anonymously I’m only committing to the problem. Donating and voting can only go so far. We as a society have to be vocal, but I’m just not in a place where I can do that right now, and I’m sorry.

That being said, expect a ton more social justice posts from now on. I really try to focus in on articles that I think people should read and links to donation services to help get people more funding. I don’t use tumblr a lot but when I do I try to do stuff like this at least semi often. This isn’t really an aesthetic blog, it’s just a collection of things that I care about. And I really care about this.

Again, I don’t really feel like it’s my place to say some of this stuff. White voices shouldn’t drown out POC voices. But I just want to make this absolutely clear for anyone that happens to stop by. I picked the name Ophelia and the Damned because I like focusing on the concept of “others” in literature, ones that cis white male authors tend to portray as stepping stones for the protagonist (hence, Ophelia). So Neo-Nazis, Terfs, pedophiles, racists, transphobes, homophobes, sexists, and other people of hate, DNI. I’m not interested in hearing your viewpoint. If your voice can’t come from a place of empathy, then why bother speaking at all?

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[takerfoxx]

Here's the next part of the Walpurgis Nights girls watch The Rebellion Story, this time stretching from that upside-down reflection conversation to Homura and Kyoko's wacky bus trip.

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

Ca: Okay, so, is everyone ready?

Ch: Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about losing my shit. I’ll try to keep it together.

Op: No, by all means. I’d say you’re entitled.

G: I mean, if I found out that I was a tiny, living doll that turned into a giant worm, I’d be upset too!

=Charlotte sighs deeply=

G: Oh. Sorry.

H: It’s a fake.

G: Eh?

H: All of it. The whole scenario. We’re caught in a super-witch’s labyrinth, or some kind of virtual reality simulation, or a shared dream.

Ok: Like the Matrix?

H: The what?

Ok: Oh, I’ve got to show that one to you. It’s this old movie from the world of the living about how all of humanity are trapped in this virtual world because machines have taken over the planet, and they use people’s bodies as living batteries or something. And-

Op: Tavi, starting to ramble.

Ok: Sorry. Anyway, there’s like three different recreations out there. Personally I like the one from Madd Dogg Studios the best.

Op: Because of all the sex.

Ok: Yeah, the other two don’t have those. Shame, really.

Ch: Okay, hold on though! If all that is some kind of weird simulation, then why am I there? By rights if you guys never turned into witches, I should be dead! You should’ve killed me, and then I would be comfortably here in Freehaven while you guys sit around singing songs to severed heads inside of demented teddy-bears!

G: Well, if there’s no witches in this world, then maybe we never fought you in the first place.

Ch: But I’m clearly a witch!

G: Yeah, that is weird.

Ca: Let’s find out.

…

Ok: You think that all of this being in an upside-down reflection means anything?

H: Yes. That it’s a fake.

Op: You are not going to let that go, are you?

H: Just watch.

Op: Have you seen this before?

H: Obviously not.

Ok: Well, this version of Candeloro is just as on it with her tea game, I see.

Ca: Some things never change.

Ok: Like Ophelia’s dislike for sour stuff, apparently.

Ca: It’s her tradeoff for her ungodly tolerance for spicy.

Ch: Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s not as high as she makes it out to be.

Op: Hey, who exactly ate those dockengaut viper peppers without flinching? Me, that’s who!

Ch: You literally had to the hospital and grow your tongue back.

Op: But I didn’t flinch.

…

Ok: They really like showing us around the town.

G: Do any of these locations mean anything?

Ca: Well, that’s the school, so I suppose-Huh?

G: UM!

Ok: Why is everyone’s faces suddenly horribly disfigured?

Ch: Are they melting? It looks like they’re melting.

Op: Yeah. And…ours are fine?

G: See! You two are sleeping in class! I told you that having a party right after fighting that Nightmare was a bad idea! Growing girls need sleep!

Op: Honestly, I’m more concerned about the horrific burns on everyone’s face than I am about our counterparts’ unhealthy sleeping habits.

H: HA! Called it! It’s a simulation! None of those people are real! We’re the only actual people here!

Op: Hey, credit where it’s due, you did call it.

G: Looks like Hitomi’s real too.

H: Oh, goody.

G: So’s that guy with the silver hair? Who is he?

Ok: Oh, so that must be Kyousuke!

Op: That was who I was up against? Huh. Well, he’s…pretty.

Ok: I always wondered what he looked like.

Op: …so?

Ok: I’m sure past me thought he was good-looking, but I still think I traded up.

Op: Darn right, you did.

…

Ch: So who took the time to make food in the shape of your heads?

Ok: You know, between this and Hitomi, there’s a lot of severed heads going around.

=Candeloro frowns and feels her neck=

Ch: You okay?

Ca: I’m fine. I just got the weirdest feeling of déjà vu all of a sudden.

Ok: Who wants to bet that the one with all the bags of junk food for lunch is Ophelia?

Op: What? Why me in specific?

Ca: That one must be mine.

Ch: Well, at least I get my own severed-head snack now.

G: Right next to Kyubey.

H: If there was any justice in the world that would be his actual head.

G: Still. Those soul-gem treats are pretty creative.

Ca: Oh, wait! Never mind! That’s Homura’s lunch.

Ch: Homulilly? Why are you eating my face?

H: Don’t ask.

Op: And of course I snatch Blue Raspberry’s soul-gem!

Ok: Even then, you couldn’t keep me out of your mouth.

Op: AAANNNDDD the rat just ate it. Huh.

Ok: Oh, that makes me so uncomfortable.

Ch: And we get a close-up of me looking like a lunatic. Thanks, movie.

Op: I mean, that is a pretty accurate depiction of your face whenever you get anywhere near a piece of mozzarella.

H: All of this making me incredibly uneasy.

G: What is?

H: The slow pace. The lack of audible dialogue. The somber music. Something is up.

Ch: That’s all kinds of deliberate.

H: Well, at least this other me can tell that something’s wrong.

Op: I for one am incredibly disappointed in the rest of us. Everyone in the city has their faces burned off. That ought to at least raise a few red flags.

…

Ok: AAANNNDDD it’s gone all weird again!

Ca: Okay, this is obviously a witch’s labyrinth. They’re not even hiding it anymore.

Ok: Except from us. Like, are we blind?

Op: Oh, hey. It’s me. A lunch date?

H: I doubt it.

G: Is any of this normal? I mean, I know Freehaven is strange to newcomers but normal to us, so in this world, is it normal to just hang out on a floating island filled with chairs and tables with really long legs while blimps fly by in formation?

Ok: To say nothing of that freakshow going on down there. What are those? Those creepy little girls and the guy with the wind-up box?

Ca: Witch’s familiars.

=everyone looks to Charlotte, who is nonplussed=

Ch: You know, I’m actually okay with being the villain. At least that would make sense!

Op: You better get some kind of redemption arc and a weirdly sexually charged gunfight with Candeloro.

Ch: That would honestly make up for everything else that’s happened so far.

Ca: I don’t know. All of this looks very witchy, but it wasn’t what I remember from your labyrinth.

…

Op: Hey. Teenaged me. Wake up and smell the bad drug trip.

Ch: Why do you guys have so many cups on that table? Do you have a drinking problem or something?

Op: Look, shit is weird. Don’t judge our coping mechanisms.

G: Is it just me, or is there a bunch of random objects just falling out of the sky all around you?

Ok: Is it just me, or did that blimp have to come literally out of the river to fly at that angle?

H: This is getting progressively more dream-like.

Op: Nice crotch-shot, movie. How come I don’t get the boob or butt camera like Candy and Tavi?

Ch: Do you really want us to answer that question?

Op: I’d prefer if you didn’t.

H: Anyone else notice that the number of cups keep changing?

Op: Like I said. We all have our own ways of coping. Don’t judge.

…

H: Well, at least I’m noticing that something’s off. Even if I’m completely blind to the obviously bizarre stuff going on all around me?

G: Oh, so it’s going to be like a mystery story! And you’re the detective!

Op: And I get to be the sidekick. There are worst roles, I guess.

Ch: I guess that means you’re the main character after all, Lilly.

H: Thank you, but I’d really rather be the lead of a completely different movie.

…

Op: And off we go, on our wild adventure!

H: Beneath endless stone bridges. I mean, seriously. If either of us wanted proof that something was wrong, all we have to do is look up.

G: If this is a fake world you’re trapped in, you’re probably programmed to not notice that anything’s wrong. You know, like how we never really how strange dreams are until we wake up.

Op: Oh, what the hell. The bus is dropping us off in this fever dream? WAKE UP, IDIOTS! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FREAKY!

Ch: They’re not even hiding it anymore.

G: You know, I can’t help but wonder if this world was always this strange, but that since the first few minutes were from our point of view all the weird stuff not having to do with the Nightmare wasn’t shown. But now that Lilly’s noticed, the weirdness just keeps coming out more and more.

Ch: I would not be surprised.

Ca: I think we can all collectively agree that despite whatever the witch turns out to be, this is all Kyubey’s fault, right?

Op: Fine by mean.

Ok: Agreed.

H: I wonder where all those fake people are going.

Op: I’m just going to assume that there’s a big meat grinder at the bottom of those stairs.

G: Ew.

…

Op: Oh, that’s not right? THAT’S NOT RIGHT? YAH THINK?

Ok: Of course you would be tipped off by the wrong destination but not by the field of hazy red filled with windmills.

Op: Turn left? We were supposed to turn left? HOW CAN YOU TELL? THERE’S NOTHING THERE!

Ch: That does bring up an interesting point. I’m assuming that you’re just blind to the weirdness because it’s got you trapped. So, what is it that you’re seeing?

G: Probably just a normal road, I guess.

Ok: Well, what did you expect taking the loop line?

…

Ch: Okay, so there’s a clear divide between the big, empty, red field with the windmills and the mostly normal looking city.

H: A very loose definition of the word “normal.”

Ch: Well, yeah, but you know what I mean.

H: Like I said. It’s not real.

Ch: We know, I’m just trying to pick out details.

Ok: Hey, girls. Don’t get on the creepy bus.

…

G: If at first you don’t succeed…

Op: Come on, other me! Get a clue!

H: I notice the field is blue now.

Ch: Probably to signify the change from day to night.

Ok: That bus driver is weirdly okay with a couple teenaged girls jumping onto the front of his bus and yelling at him.

H: He’s a fakedy-fake-fake.

Ok: We know! It’s called commentary!

H: Sorry.

Op: “Crossroads”? “Left fork”? How can you tell the difference! It’s a bunch of shiny tiles and windmills!

G: Plus that giant tower made of pipes!

Op: That was probably where we were heading. Giant tower made of pipes.

Ok: Wonder where the ramen shop was.

Op: Third pipe cluster from the bottom.

Ch: Hey, girls. Word of advice. Don’t walk into the scary, blank void.

Op: I know they can’t see the weirdness, but I still feeling like yelling at them.

G: Oh, hey! It’s normal again!

H: They were brought back to the city.

G: Well, relatively normal, at least. With a really tall bridge and giant moon.

…

Op: So…are we about to kiss or something?

H: Obviously not.

Op: I don’t know. You’re holding me awfully close.

H: I’m just trying to keep you from doing something stupid.

Op: If you say so.

…

Op: Oh, hey. If we didn’t have enough problems, it’s a zombie apocalypse.

H: All with our faces, I see.

Op: Somehow, that’s freakier than if they were just the classic rotting kind.

Ca: Obviously a defense system put in place by the witch. Once one of its prisoners start to notice that something’s wrong, the familiars come in to stop them.

Ch: You know, as much as the early parts weirded me out, I am really starting to dig this! I mean, sure, the cake song was…a thing that happened, but now there’s a reason for the weirdness! There’s a mystery! There’s set-up and atmosphere! It’s not just weird for the sake of being weird!

Ok: I’m pretty sure there’s some of that.

Ch: Well, sure.

H: You do remember that with the way things are going, you’re probably going to be revealed as the villain, right?

Ch: I am okay with this.

…

Op: And the zombies leave after I change my stance?

Ok: Those hips don’t lie.

H: More of they sensed that you weren’t resisting anymore.

Op: Might want to rephrase that.

H: You made it dirty. Not me.

Op: At least this me is starting to wake up. So you have at least one bad bitch supporting you.

H: I feel so much better.

G: Oh, hey! Even then you did that thing where you give people candy as a sign of affection!

Op: I’m honestly surprised that more people don’t do that. Honestly, most problems would be solved if people just gave each other candy all the time.

[five-miles-over]

New Girl (High School!Commodus x Reader)

Summary: You are a new student at Institutum Romanus Educational (which is supposed to be Latin for “Roman Educational Institute”) and come across some fascinating characters (I mean classmates). Sort of based off a ‘Gladiator’ AU listicle. Hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: A cheesy meet-cute scene

Word Count: 1,663

When you’d came to Rome to visit your father during your winter holiday, you had only hoped it would be a temporary break from your mundane life back in your hometown. Perhaps you’d get a chance to see the quaint streets covered in frost, or visit the Tiber River. And like most children, you would get a present - maybe new clothes, or a gadget. A brochure for a new school was certainly not what you were expecting as a gift.

Yet here you were, on your first day of the new semester in January, walking to your first period. All you were hoping for was nothing but a peaceful end to your 10th year. You were now to be a student at the Institutum Romanus Educational, or IRE as many playfully called it. It was perplexing to you why a school would insist upon retaining its Latin name, but your parents said it was reinstated by its current principal Marcus Aurelius. He was supposedly an admirer of the Classics and wanted his children to have a good understanding of ancient languages.

The first period of the day was Physics, which you never had a huge affinity towards, but were certainly not averse to. The teacher was kind, and he seemed to be quite enthusiastic about the content he was talking about. After being armed with two problem sets about electromagnetism, you had to walk across the entire building to your next class - English.

Throughout the hall, many of the sights weren’t very different from your old school - there were cliques of people talking to each other, and a few couples making out in front of the lockers. Campaign posters of a girl named Lucilla Aurelius were plastered across the wall. You were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her on your way to class and by gods, the posters did not do her justice. She was gorgeous.

Flanked by two “minions” or girls wearing blouses and skirts similar to the pink-and-white combination she was wearing, she held a box of buttons that said, “Vote for Lucilla, Vote for Rome” on them. With a charismatic grin, she was passing them out to various people and telling them to vote for her for their Student Body President.

Another voice rose from the cacophony in the hallways. “I wouldn’t even know if a rat had chewed off the ends of her thin strands, that’s how ugly that girl’s haircut is.” A bald boy wearing an Assassin’s Creed shirt loomed over a girl with a pixie cut, who was crying.

He was answered by a larger boy, a seemingly more bulky one. “Quinn, I don’t think that’s how to get over being dumped. Just leave her alone.”

“Hagen, you piece of meat.” Quinn grumbled, leaving the tiny girl to pick up her books from the floor. Hagen gave her the rest of her things and sent her off to class.

When you entered your English class, you heaved a sigh of relief that you were on time. The board saying ‘Hamlet’ assured you that you had reached the correct classroom. The seats were almost all filled except for one placed in front of a green-eyed boy with cropped dark hair.

He was probably the perfect mix of gothic and preppy - his bangs were long enough to fall over his brow, and he wore a barely noticeable layer of eyeliner. His crisp, black button-down, paired with his skinny jeans and black designer boots, served as a stark contrast to the sweat pants and hoodies many of the other male students wore.

You waved politely only to find him idly writing something in a journal. It looked like something in elaborate cursive, and you would’ve looked further if the teacher didn’t begin taking attendance. And if it doing so wouldn’t make you look completely creepy.

Within moments, the teacher began lecturing about one of Shakespeare’s most famous tragedies, calling upon various students to read scenes out loud for the rest of the class. A few kids named Gregory and Falcon read for the parts of Polonius, the chamberlain of Denmark, and Laertes, the son of Polonius.

You were nearly caught by surprise when the teacher invited you to read Ophelia’s lines in front of the class from Act 1, Scene 3 of the play. It wasn’t exactly on your agenda to attract much attention on your first day, but you decided to accept anyways. Standing in front of the class, you read Ophelia’s lines loud and clear while your green-eyed mystery, named Commodus, read Hamlet’s lines with passion. He seemed like he was born for this role.

“Thank you, both of you.” Your teacher applauded both of you after the scene was completed. When you returned to your seat, you saw a hand reach towards you from behind, holding a yellow sticky note. Quickly taking it, you tucked it under your knee before you could get caught.

“Commie’s passing notes in class again,” Gregory taunted, leading the entire class to laugh with him as the boy sitting behind you fumed with embarrassment. “Infatuated with the girl reading Ophelia, he seems to forget when the stage ends and when real life begins.”

The teacher’s eyebrows furrowed at Gregory’s remark. “Y/N, is this true? Did Commodus give you a note?”

“No, not at all,” you lied for him. “He didn’t give me a note at all, I just dropped my sticky notes and he gave them back to me.” Ignoring Gregory’s eye-rolling, the teacher reluctantly accepted your alibi and continued to lecture until the bell rung.

“Nice reading voice.” A boy in a burnt orange jacket offered you a kind smile as you both left the classroom. “You, uh, the new girl?”

“I am, thanks,” you nodded. “And you are?”

“The new boy,” he joked. “Sort of - I came here a few months ago from Australia. Actually Spain’s my homeland - I was born there.”

“So you’re a Spaniard?”

“No, I’m Max, but Spaniard works,” he winked, eliciting a laugh from you. “Want me to walk you to your next class?”

“If it’s not too much trouble for you,” you answered. “You wouldn’t by chance happen to know where World History is?

Max grinned. “That’s just where I’m headed. You looked confused when you entered - thought you could use a friendly face on your first day.”

“Thank you for making me feel a bit more welcome, Max.” You replied, letting him lead you through the crowd of students. Unbeknownst to the both of you, a pair of jealous peridot eyes followed the two of you until you turned the corner and disappeared.

Later that day, when lunchtime came around, your eyes widened at the color and variety of the flavorful dishes being served. It was almost like they were being prepared by gourmet chefs. You couldn’t help but smile at how pretty your tray looked; penne with a creamy tomato sauce, arugula salad with a balsamic vinaigrette, a piece of bread, and freshly cut fruit.

Deciding against the crowded cafeteria, you decided to take a chance to explore some of the other hallways in your new school. You wondered just how big your new school could possibly be. Did they have an indoor pool, a large gymnasium, a library,…or an auditorium? Holding your tray close to your chest, you walked into the large theater. In the center of the breathtakingly colossal stage, you found Commodus sitting cross-legged next to his shoulder bag and a thermos.

“Hello,” you quietly greeted him, approaching the edge of the stage and climbing up.

“Shouldn’t you be eating in the cafeteria?”, he asked, slightly perplexed, looking up from the book he was reading.”No,” you replied, placing your backpack down. “It wasn’t really my scene at my old school. I used to eat in the library or the music room.”

Commodus hummed in acknowledgment, returning to his copy of Dracula and his thermos of black coffee. “Where’s your lunch?” You asked, sitting next to him.

“I don’t usually eat any. I’m too busy.”

You pushed your tray towards him. “Would you like to share some of mine?”

“Yes, thank you.” He ripped off a piece of the bread and dipped it into the pasta sauce before chewing it. Commodus allowed himself a few more bites partially because he didn’t want to seem rude and…you seemed likable.

A few moments of silence took place while the two of you ate before you glanced at the clock. “Well…it’s time for me to go to my next class,” you commented.

“Oh…” His eyes looked slightly downcast when you told him you had to leave. “You look lovely!” You froze at his sudden compliment. “That…that was what I hoped to tell you in that note I gave you. That you look exquisite - your hair, your lips, your eyes- it reminded me of Lady Ophelia when you read her lines. You’re…you look more beguiling than she would be.”

“That’s quite sweet of you, Commodus.” You said with a small smile, flabbergasted. “Thank you, I…I’m quite flattered.”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t like it. Most people don’t understand my references or my vocabulary.” Commodus stammered, relieved that you didn’t find him disturbing for comparing you to a Shakespearean heroine. “Thank you for sharing your lunch and your time with me, Y/N.”  

“Of course,” you extended your hand, expecting to shake his. “It was nice meeting you, Commodus.”

Accepting your gesture, he clasped your hand and softly kissed your knuckles, causing you to blush. Usually, princes from fairytales would do something so chivalrous. “It was nice meeting you too,” Commodus replied.

“I’ll see you later, then.” You carried your tray and backpack and began leaving the auditorium. Commodus watched you leave, hoping that perhaps you wouldn’t be like many of the other new kids, pretending to be nice before getting swept away by the popular students. That perhaps you would be…just as special as he already thought you were.

[yenslilac]

Daenerys Targaryen and Ophelia: An Essay

I wrote this a while back, just after Season 8 ended. After a few edits, I decided to share it with you! Disclaimer: I wrote this fueled with rage at 11 at night for two weeks straight. Don’t judge. 

Part 1: The Heroine Goes Absolutely Bats**t Crazy

Ophelia. Known throughout time as That Crazy Chick Who Drowned Herself. What a legacy. And Daenerys: She Who Toasted A City Like Marshmallows And Then Was Offed By Her Nephew/Lover. The sad thing is, these are my heroes. What a life. But the ‘Insane Heroine’ trope is prevalent in many forms of media – Dark Phoenix is another example. At first glance, Daenerys and Ophelia have very little in common; Daenerys is a powerful and assertive leader, and Ophelia is a background love interest. The one thing that unites them – they go crazy because of rejected love. While their descent into madness is slightly different; Ophelia is pitiful, Daenerys aggressive, both end up dying indirectly or directly as a result of their lover. Lovely. Let’s talk first about Ophelia – She is rebuffed Hamlet, the original pathetic sad boy, and at the death of her father, goes insane. After several performances of her insanity, she makes her way to a river where she falls (or throws?) herself into the water and drowns. This is witnessed by Gertrude, who then goes on to tell her brother Laertes of her death. It’s a pretty monologue, describing the flowers and plants growing along the riverbank, and how pretty and peaceful she looked as she sank under water and DIED. Remember this. Then my girl Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men etc. etc. Oh boy. Ohhhhhh boy. What can I say except **************** ***** ** **********. Thank you for your time. But she like Ophelia, was scorned by her Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt. But like, your paternal grandparents and the rest of your great-whatever grandparents were siblings, and your maternal grandparents were cousins so… But I digress. Wait no, this is what it’s all about. I’m back! I un-digress! So, she goes ‘insane’ cause she can’t get laid (don’t we all?) and roasts a whole lot of people and becomes… Hitler for some reason… So, Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt And Really Wishes He Can Just Catch A Break For Once Is It Really Too Much Too Ask is egged on by Murder Sister™ and Smarty Pants McGee to kill her. Just like my friends! He makes out with her and stabs her (best of both worlds!) and she dies. Very prettily. Remember this. You know. YOU KNOW I’m going to rant about this.

Part 2: Heroic Man Kills The Crazy Lady Like The Feral Dog She Is (But Feels Sad About It) 

Trope as old as time… why is this still fine… surely there’s a better plot deviiiiiice. “Duty is the death of love…” Shut up. Shut up. No, it isn’t. There is a thing called multitasking. You should try it. But let’s recap. Woman goes crazy because of lover/hero of the story rebuffing her because he’s got issues of his own that he doesn’t care to share with her, and close friend/family member is killed. This is when the paths of the Hero diverge. Hamlet does not actually kill Ophelia himself, but his careless actions towards her eventually drive her to suicide. Jon, on the other hand, does kill Daenerys, (no, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed) by a knife to the heart while snogging her. (I’d like to take the opportunity to say that this was ridiculous and yes, I will die mad about it.) What else is similar? Hamlet holds Ophelia’s (or in some adaptations tries to) dead body in his arms as she is about to be buried and Jon holds Daenerys as she dies. They cry and wish it didn’t have to be this way, but really guys, this is Your Fault.

The problem with this trope in particular (and I’m talking about a lot of other examples here, like Dark Phoenix and Wolverine) is that it renders the killer sympathetic. They didn’t want to do this, but it was for the good of humanity, it was a mercy, blah blah blah. Really? Did someone make you kill her? No, a sense of moral justice does not count. Hamlet abuses and humiliates Ophelia then claims he loved her so much that ‘forty thousand brothers could not…” Creepy. I have to say, creepy. And Jon Snow. “Was it right? It doesn’t feel right…” I’m glad you came to that conclusion. I really am. But I knew this from the moment you stuffed that butter knife into her spleen, so honestly you don’t have any business feeling sorry for yourself. If there’s one lesson that Game of Thrones and Shakespeare has taught me, it is:

(not an artist, don’t judge)

Part 3: Someone Died And The Director Said, “Cool But Like… Make It Fashion.”

Do you remember what I told you to remember? Did you? Cause I’m about to RANT.

Throughout time (like 500 years) men have been painting Ophelia’s drowning – the probable suicide of a tormented young woman – and made sure she looked hot while doing it. True, the description of her death is pretty and all, but depictions of her floating just below the surface, a dramatic and lovely pose and flowers strewn around her glamorise her death – something many other people have taken note on – and give her death something of a peaceful, serene departing note, rather than the death of a woman so deranged she did not appear to understand the gravity of her situation as she sank under water. Daenerys suffers a similar case of SDPS (Sexy Dead Person Syndrome). Let’s go through it step by step, shall we? While in an embrace with someone she loves and trusts, she is stabbed in the heart area (I guess?), and she dies. The End. My respect for white men flew off with Drogon. But I haven’t complained properly yet! Compared to other characters, like Myrcella, Joffrey and Catelyn Stark to name a few, her death was very clean. In these other examples, blood runs down their faces or spurts out of their neck in suitably graphic fashion but Daenerys’ case, two thin lines of blood trickle from her nose and mouth. Pretty, pretty. We get a brief shot of a pool of blood on the snow as Drogon picks her up, but blink and you’ll miss it. She looks shocked and confused as she dies, yet the next shot of her face shows her eyes are closed and an almost peaceful expression on her face. Not only this but we don’t actually get any proper Last Words, when she knows she is about to die. She makes no sound at all. She dies prettily and quietly. We also don’t see the knife at all until she is dead, removing any very graphic nature from the scene. A lot of the camera shots are of Jon’s face. This scene is not about Daenerys Targaryen’s death; This is about Jon Snow’s inner turmoil as he selflessly sacrifices the woman he loves to save the rest of the world. Hold up one second I gotta……

I mean, come on. Daenerys is barely mentioned after her death. She, a woman who freed hundreds, no, thousands of slaves and worked hard to reach her goals (albeit a little dragonfire-y) yet she dies without a whisper and is forgotten almost immediately. She becomes less of a central character and more of a catalyst for other men’s rise to power (see Bran the Broken). Wait, what about Sansa, you cry? Well, at this point, she was so out of character I’m striking her from the narrative. Bye bitch 😊 The same goes for most of the other women in the last season. They become plot devices with a little agency and that’s about it. Missandei? Unnecessarily killed to create the “Mad Queen”. Cersei? A compelling villain reduced to a ‘crying girl who wants to be comforted’. Arya? Kills the Night King and then, I dunno. Sansa? Suspicious of Daenerys because of reasons, betrays her brother/cousin because she doesn’t want Daenerys on the throne, then just ‘forgets’ about this whole thing to become Queen in the North. Brienne? Honourable knight left sobbing after her one (k)night stand left her. Another thing that many of these women have in common (the ones who survived to the final episode anyway) is that none of them have romantic endgames despite this being set up. Arya and Gendry have been close friends in Season 2 and 3, then <3  and everyone (i.e. me) thought that you know, they get together and stuff, because that’s what the writers seemed to be setting up. But nope. Arya’s all like ‘I wanna kill the queen’ (which she never does) and throws all that out the window. (But Gendry was totally on that ship at the end). Brienne and Jaime seemed to finally stop eye fricking and then got straight to the actual fricking but nooooo. “I lOvE CeRseI! WE’re bOTh tERrIble PeOple!” And of course, the crowning glory:

And the woman who actually does come out on top is Sansa, a largely unemotional, suspicious woman whose brother is now the king and made her a queen because she’s his sister. Riiiight. That’s totally not nepotism or anything. 

The End: But Boy, Am I Just Beginning

To conclude, the ending of Daenerys Targaryen was largely misogynistic as it painted a brutal and dishonourable murder as an act of mercy and gave the killer (sorry man, I feel like I’m throwing you under the bus here, but it must be said) a sympathetic angle as a heartbroken martyr sacrificing for the greater good. I had high expectations, I really did, but you just took it anD THREW IT IN THE DIRT. Good god. But it’s fine, I have fanfiction anyway.

Thank you for reading this, if you stuck around this far!

[writing-in-mermish]

Why do we keep doing Ophelia dirty?

One of the questions that we like to ask about Hamlet is, “was Hamlet losing it, or just faking?”

This is a good question and can lead to very different and interesting takes on the play, but my question is, “why do we only ask this about Hamlet’s sanity?” You can ask it about almost all the main players, so why do we only ask about Hamlet? But more importantly, why do we assume that Ophelia is loosing it?

We like to compare his madness with his Uncle’s. We compare his grief with his mother’s. We compare his action (or inaction) with Laertes’. But We’ve been sleeping on the best character to compare him to.

Ophelia

She loses her father.

Uses subterfuge to gather information (more on that later).

Deals with disputable madness.

And dies tragically because of her efforts.

She is his mirror, but instead of doing her justice we decide to be lazy and brush her under the rug. It makes no sense!

So let me explain how cool this leading lady is and how, with a few stage directions, you can totally change her character.

First off, what is Hamlet and Ophelia’s relationship?

I’m kinda on the fence about them actually having romantic feelings for each other. there is some dialogue that could support this, but it could also support them tricking others to keep them off their sent while they investigate Hamlet’s Uncle.

Clearly, people think they’re into each other, but everyone who’s had a friend of the opposite gender knows that people will think whatever they damn well please, whether there’s any basis for it or not. I personally am for the, “friends who let people think their together because it’s easier than defending their friendship” angle (and if you’re into shipping Hamlet with Horatio, then she can even be Hamlet’s beard).

Every moment we have of them together is either in front of others (and may be for show) or them telling people (who they do not trust) about private moments. The realest moment we might have is at her funeral when he learns that she’s dead and starts throwing hands with her brother. All we know is that they spent a lot of time together and they were both very witty.

So I propose that they were friends. That Hamlet confided in her about his suspicions about his uncle and she decided to help him keep people in the dark by insinuating his madness was love for her. And it sorta works, at least on her fool of a father and his shipping mother.

When her brother and father tell her to avoid Hamlet, she nearly rolls her eyes telling them not to worry about her. Then, Hamlet decides in one scene to play mad and the very next scene Ophelia is planting the seed of deception to her gossipy dad.

The Nunnery scene is obvious, Ophelia knows Claudius and Palonius are watching, and she reveals them to Hamlet so they can put on a show, which backfires. Later, during the play within a play they make a show of flirting, presumably to fix their mistake, and continue to hide his intent to capture his Uncle.

Every moment a ruse.

Next, Ophelia’s flowers and Death.

If you watched Harry Potter growing up you may be aware of the trivia about Snape’s first class. The plant’s that he asks Harry about are an apology for Lily’s death through flower language. Which is totally self serving because Harry is a modern-ish eleven year old who would have no understanding of flower language, but my hatred for Snape isn’t important here. The point of this is Ophelia’s audiance would have understood flower language, and so would a fair portion of Shakespeare’s.

After Hamlet gets sent away, Ophelia starts to pretend she’s mad also, but she comes for peoples throats, with her flowery accusations and sing song “revelations”. not long after, she is found dead by the queen, who comes into a conversation about murdering her son and she tells them that Ophelia drowned.

This is probably the biggest stretch, but also, is it really? Ophelia was murdered. She knew to much, and Claudius couldn’t just send her away like hamlet, so she had to go so he could keep her brother on his side. The queen sees her get murdered and was going to tell her husband, but she starts to finally put things together, and overhearing his conversation with Laertes cements her worries, so she decides to keep silent.

Bonus: This is makes Gertrude a better character and explains why she drinks the poison, actively protecting her son in the end.

Finally, Stage directions

There doesn’t need to be any change to the text, just acting and staging choices. let’s get into it. (this is getting long and I’m getting hungry.)

Act 1 Scene 3, Ophelia rolls her eyes at her brother and father. let them think what they want attitude.

Act 2 Scene 1, Either between acts or during this scene, show Hamlet and Ophelia plotting. If you’re filming it you can show visuals while Ophelia gives her story, if you’re doing a stage play, show it before.

Act 3 Scene 1, Ophelia points out that they are being watched, with a look, nod, or gesture, with her first line to him. it’s perfect, because the next thing he says to her is “I humbly thank you.” Then they get to pretend to fight for the benefit of their audience.

Also, make it clear that Ophelia overhears that Caudius’ suspicions have grown.

Act 3 Scene 2, Either between scenes or while Hamlet is working things out with the actors, have Ophelia “tell” Hamlet that their ploy didn’t work and that they should be “lovey dovey” again. Cue making sure to getting their parents attention and “flirting” during the play.

Act 4 Scene 5, lot’s of pointed looks here. Ophelia as she passes out her flowery judgement, and Claudius as he realizes that she could out him and then makes it clear to some guards that she needs to be taken care of.

Act 4 Scene 7, We either see Ophelia get murdered before this scene, or during Gertrude’s monologue. Gertrude is seen over hearing the last part of Claudius’ and Laertes’ conversation, makes a noise, then they stop talking and she walks in and pieces together her lie, looking real nervous all the while. this is where you can do a flash back to what actually happened if you’re doing a film, if it’s staged, keep it beforehand and show Gertrude running away.

Act 5 Scene 1, Show Gertude’s guilt as the Priest talks about Ophelia not getting a better funeral because she killed herself. It should be eater her alive that she keeps ignoring the truth to protect herself, maybe give her a moment of resolve to make things right. Also, after the funeral, maybe have her pull Hamlet aside and explain the truth. Let them have a moment of despair over her death and Hamlet’s father’s. This parts a little shaky though with the events of Scene 2, so maybe not.

Throughout Act 5, show Gertrude's nervousness and Claudius’ growing suspicion of her, maybe even include a moment where the guards who killed Ophelia reveal what actually happened. This completes Ophelia’s affect of over play, and richens Claudius’ decent into his own madness and desperation.

Conclusion?

Ophelia is super cool and should be played as such. Stop making her a soft girl who loses her mind over a boy, it’s a bad take!

Also, if you love Ophelia as much as I do, check out this game where she’s the main character and is trying to solve a mystery and save everyone from dying like they do in the play. I didn’t make it, I just think it’s super cool.

Elsinore

[jay-and-dean]

Rescue You  Chapter 6 : November 9 and 10.

Dean x reader

Summary : My name is Y/n. I’m the outcast of my witch community. This is the story of how I rescued Dean Winchester, the story of how he saved me.

Serie Warnings : Swearing. Injuries. Smut. Fluff. Angst.

Chapter warning : Fluff, violence, swearing. Angst.

Words : 3k

***Rescue You Masterlist***

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

___________________________

November 9, almost midnight.

 “Y/N ! FORGET DEAN ! RUN ! THEY’RE COMING ! RUN!”

My heart explodes in my chest and I lift my head.

           Letting the phone fall in panic, I look up at Dean and he frowns.

"Run" he says.

From the floor I hear Aiden scream, someone just took his phone. Everything slows, it's like we were under water... I lower my head to look at the phone and the screams become chaotic before the call ends.

"Y/n, run" Dean begs now.

"Not without you" I state, taking his shoulder to help him up.

"No ! Y/n I'll slow you ! You run now !" his voice breaks.

Tears fill up his eyes when I don't move at all. "Please, go now... I love you, save your life..."

I don't answer, but tug at his shoulder with all my strength to make him get up. When he doesn't even try to help me, I take his face in my hands.

"We both go. Or we both stay" I state searching his eyes.

He hesitates a split second and gets up in a grunt.

           I didn't take time to put my shoes, or my coat. The icy wind and snow is burning my skin, I feel it, but I'm not cold. I'm not tired I'm not hungry. There is no pain, no other thought than saving Dean.

           It's the third time he falls in a growl of pain, his knees hitting the floor, his weight taking me with him. This time we can hear them, they're searching the cabin and it won't be long before our tracks lead them to us.

"Dean..." I try to encourage him but he fails getting up and I can see blood falling from his stomach, reddening the perfectly untouched snow.

"Please" he begs, strangled. "Run..."

"I'd rather die" I state with sobs held back in my chest. "Get up Dean, you can't give up now... You're tougher than that."

He tries to get up but, tugging on me, makes me fall again.

"Maybe this time I'm not" he whispers.

           I take a deep breath and look up to catch sight of the sky for the last time. It’s beautiful. Then I let myself fall to sit next to him. So be it, I put a light kiss on his lips and taste the tears flooding his face. Powerlessness is unbearable for him, and I wish he could have died fighting… But like wolves, if he can’t run, he can’t live.

           After a second, while I’m trying to accept the idea of letting them found us, he starts to move again. My eyes widen, how can he be so brave ? Leaning on a tree, he gets up and starts panting like crazy, his eyes roll in his skull for a second but his will his incredible. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, the most courageous. I get up and take his waist, putting his arm back on my shoulders.

           What happens next is so blurry. I can't really think, I have no energy for that : I just feel. I feel his arm weighting so heavy on me, the cold biting me, my heart racing so fast it hurts. I hear the echoes of the people who used to be my family, yelling in the woods to find us, to burn me... In my head I hear Aiden screams, but the loud painful breathing of Dean deaden it all.

           Suddenly, I finally perceive the sounds of cars, and I take a deep freezing-lungs inhale.

"The road... Dean... The road" I say out of breath, finally taking time to check on him.

Blood is soaking his legs, his lips are so white he seems dead.

When we finally reach it, he falls, almost unconscious and I can see the splint broke along the way.

"Dean ? Dean !" I kneel next to him but a far blinding light catches my eyes : headlights.

I don't think twice : Jumping on the road with my arms in the air, I force the car to stop in a sharp braking.

           The window opens a little and I try to talk, out of breath, while a middle age couple watches me, shocked.

"Please, I... My husband and I were in an accident, he's hurt and in hypothermia, he needs hospital now or he will die, please..."

They look at me, then at Dean, and the man steps out of the car.

"Thank you" I almost sob.

The man helps Dean up to lay him on the back seat. He's asking questions but I barely register them, answering mechanically : “Car accident… Emergency… His name is Dean… Please… Please… Please” I repeat.

The kind man checks on Dean and my love tries to mush him to reach me.

“Okay St Joseph hospital is ten minutes away, we will make it Sir” he assures Dean.

"Aiden's kids" I whisper suddenly.

"Lady, are you hurt ?" the man says while his wife keeps whispering oh-my-Gods watching my barely conscious lover on the backseat.

"No" I state. "Listen... Please, he needs help. I... I need to find someone, don't worry for me..."

"What ? Lady, no..." he tries but I close the door when I see Dean move.

"Just... Bring him to the hospital, he doesn't have much time."

"Y/n..." Dean whines.

"I love you Dean" I state through the window.

"What ?" his eyes widen but his body doesn't respond. "Y/n... No... No. No. No..."

"I'm sorry Dean. I love you" I repeat, and before my body crushes under the weight of my own pain, I start to run.

 November 10, 1:27 am.

             Aiden's house is empty, and silent. Entering his room, I find his phone on the floor and stains of blood on that awful carpet. Holding back a scream, I take a few steps back until my back hits the wall, and let my body slide down against it. I can't feel my feet, or my hands. I don't know if Dean is alive and the kids are nowhere to be found.

           As despair tries to strangle me, I cling to my hate to function. I saved Dean, they won't get him, he escaped them... A held on crazy laugh escapes me.

           Treason is the worst crime of all, and it has only one possible punishment : Death. Witches think justice has to be done the faster possible, to re-establish balance. So I know what happened here.

           Aiden must be dead by now... I'm too late. I have to find his boys, they must be with their mom. Oh god, boys, sons of a traitor, their lives are going to be Hell. More than ever, I have to keep my promise to get them out of here.

           This is all my fault.

           There is no time to lose, but I have no idea how to find those two little boys. Ethan can run but I'll have to carry Jax, I have no idea how many people will be with them, or if they'll accept to follow me. But even if it's the last thing I do, I have to at least try. I owe Aiden this.

           I'll start with Ophelia's house, maybe Aiden's wife went to her sister's. I get up and suddenly feel dizzy, something is wrong. I try to lean on the wall but my head is spinning faster and faster...

           Before I faint, the last thing I see is Diana's face smiling at me.

 November 10, 8pm.

             I tug at my black dress and close my eyes. I just wish I could be sure Dean is safe, see his face one last time, hear his voice saying it's going to be okay, telling me it will be quick.

           But I know it won't. Being burned alive...

           This is the end. There is nothing left to save, nothing left to hope. But at least now, my mind is clear. No regrets or affection left for these monsters, I’m never calling those fanatics family ever again. Not after those so called trials. I was ready that they judge me, but the boys… Even their mother voted for banishment, their own mother. They erased their memories immediately, ignoring their sobs and calls for their mommy. Jax almost died in the process, and something broke in me. When they asked me why I betrayed them and where was Dean, all I could do was spit on Mam Griffin’s face… I’m not afraid anymore, for the first time of my life, they don’t impress me at all.

           My hands shake and I smile through the tears, at least I knew love. And with the best. For a man like him, I guess I will be just a sore memory of the death of that pretty girl he liked, a witch version of a James Bond girls...

But for me, he was the only truth in my life.

           My sister is brushing my hair in silence, I can see she's emotional, sad even, I guess getting her sister ready for the ritual of the stake mustn't be easy, I saw her look away when they sentenced the boys. However, she's good at it, like she is always good with everything she undertakes. Since the end of my ten minutes trial, she executes the steps with caution. It should be my mother preparing me, but I heard she wasn't feeling well. Wasn't feeling well...

           Before being burned, witches must wear the dress of their own mourning. I read about it a lot, but never actually saw that before because they never burned anybody since World War two. The dress has to be black and has to never have been wore by anyone else. So, as I never wear fancy closes or dresses at all, they made me wear my prom outfit. I liked my prom dress. First, because I had managed to convince my mom not to buy something that didn’t looked like me at all, so it’s pretty simple. Second, because I ran away from the party to smoke pot with Aiden this night, so it’s a freedom memory.

I look down at the black fabric again and a small smile appears on the corner of my mouth : I actually look like a witch ; this will be the first time I'm actually treated like one. This is not me, nothing ever were real in here, only in that pretty cabin...

           Another tear for the place I cherished so much. The place I ran to for weeks, with my heart pounding. The place where I learned what love was. They burned it... They searched it and burned it to the ground but I don't care, because Dean said Heaven was made of our best memories, so if Hell doesn't claim me, I'm going there again…

             Tied to the stake, I look at their faces, ugly monsters. My mother is here, sobbing like she couldn’t stop what’s happening, but she never even tried to speak for me ; my sister too, focusing on being perfect as always, I pity her now, she never owned her life, and she never will. Diana is smiling, that murderous smirk on her evil face.

“Do you have something to say for yourself, traitor ?” Mam Griffin asks.

“Yeah…” I grunt. “I hope hunters find this place, and send you all to Hell.”

An offended rumble spreads and my mother faints.

           Then mam Griffin recites the prayers and magically lights the wood.

           I start sweating, and panic cuts my hair supply, I can already feel the heat and I can’t even imagine what pain I’m going to endure. The smoke veils the world, letting me alone with myself, I’m dizzy and the heat becomes unbearable. You’ll wake up in the cabin, Y/n… Soon…

“Y/N !” I hear Dean’s voice. “Y/N !”

I smile for myself between coughs, desperate tries of my body to breathe. I hear his voice now, this won’t be long…

           But he appears through the smoke. Dean… He’s not hurt, he’s fully clothes and… Am I already dead ?

           The smoke disappears and the flames die. When the crowd appears again, the community screams of hate and terror, everything. My eyes widen.

“D-dean ? H-how…”

“I’m here Y/n, I’m here, look at me…” he says, struggling to reach me on the pile of wood.

While he cuts the ropes holding me, I can’t stop staring at him. He’s all new, he’s strong and healthy, he may even have gained back his lost weight. I never saw him like this and tears wet my sweaty face.

“Here you go” he grunts when I fall in his arms. “It’s over, I’m here…” he takes my head to hold it against his chest.

“DEAN !” a manly voice calls him from behind, making Dean move.

He takes my legs and carries me like it was so easy. Dean carries me now… He starts to run and I cling to him, taking a fistful of that red flannel he wears.

           A man in a trench coat is holding back almost all Coven powers all by himself, I guess it’s Castiel, Dean talked about him. A real life angel…

“Sam !” Dean calls and a tall man appears from between the threes with a gun in his bloody hands and starts to run, following us in the woods.

“Dean !” I call my lover’s attention. “I can run” I state, knowing we will be faster like that.

He puts me on the floor and takes my hand so tight it would hurt, if a complete happiness mixed with adrenaline wasn’t making me high. With the other hand, I hold my dress to run as fast as I can.

“Cas is not following !” Sam says, still running like a pack of werewolves were following us.

“He’s holding their spells back !” Dean answers loud and clear, with a voice I never heard.

           Suddenly, Sam falls and Dean stops right away almost tearing my arm off. Sam is grunting and I can see burns appear on his face.

“Diana” I say. “Dean it’s Diana !”

From between trees, the witch appears and Dean hides me behind him protectively.

“How cute” she says with disgust on her vain face.

           In a second, Dean lets himself fall on his knees and reaches his brother, with a snake-like movement, he catches Sam’s gun and shoots.

“This is for Y/n” he says.

I open my eyes, after having closed them just the instant the detonation echoed : she’s falling, a little red dot just between her eyebrows.

“Sammy you okay ?” Dean asks, taking my arm back to make me run again.

 November 10, 10:42pm

             “Hey, Y/n” Sam says, sitting next to me. “How are you ?”

I look up and stare at his face, there is something perfectly kind in his eyes, and I see some little things that reminds he’s Dean’s brother.

“I’m okay…” I state shyly. “Just worried about Dean.”

           When we reached Sam’s car, Dean opened me the door, but he never said a word to me. He closed it and told something to Sam, and he left. Now I’m in that motel room with the tall hunter, but I don’t dare saying anything to him, the lump on my throat strangling me.

“He’s just bringing Cas back” he says with a kind smile, offering me a glass of water.

           The motel room is dark, but I can perfectly see the burns on his face.

“I’m sorry about that” I say.

“Don’t be” he smiles sincerely, making the cutest dimples appear on his face. “They said Dean was dead…” he says, suddenly staring at his palms. “And, he would be… He didn’t tell me much, but he talked about how brave you were so… I just… wanted to thank you. For saving my brother.”

“He’s too pretty to die” I try to joke.

But a weird fear is creeping inside me : What if Dean and I weren’t so good now. I only knew him weak and when he needed me, now what ? He’s strong, he’s fierce. I don’t know his life, his friends…

           While this doubts hit me in the guts, everything comes to the surface and I hear the little boys sobs, I see Aiden’s face when he made me swear to keep them safe, the smile he had when he asked me to marry him, my mother’s face smiling at me when I was a little girl, and her cold silence when I was sentenced to death…

           Tears fall down on my face and Sam sighs.

“It’s okay…” he says as if he was used to people crumbling next to him.

           Then the door bursts open and Dean enters, my Dean, only stronger. He doesn’t open his mouth, just angrily takes his coat of and Sam gets up to leave the room, joining Castiel I can see outside, as Dean didn’t close the door.

           I just stay on that bed, trying not to cry too much, not daring to look at a man I feel like I don’t know now.

“Why did you left” he finally asks with a glacial tone that makes me shiver.

“The kids” I let out a sob.

“THE KIDS ?” he yells now, but when it makes me jump, his tone cools off. “I was going crazy, Y/n…” he snaps though his clenched teeth. “I thought they k- I- I thought they killed you !”

“I’m sorry” I whisper, holding back my tears.

“We could have gone back for them.”

“No Dean… It’s… It’s too late” I put my face in my hands and cry. “Th- They erased them… I… I was too late…”

“Sons of bitches…” he grunts. “Y/n… I’m sorry.”

He sits next to me and sighs deeply. I know this man, he’s the same man I rescued from the crashed car, the same hero, he’s Dean. And I love him.

           After a while, he wraps his arm around my back and I dare to let my head fall on his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his flannel again. His smell is the same I knew, and the way his holds me too. His kisses my temple and let his lips rest there while I cry, shaken with sobs.

“We can’t stay here, they’re already looking for us” Dean states, stroking my back. “They are never gonna hurt you again baby...”

_____________________________

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[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Quiz: Which Desmond Hall Character Are You?

SPOILER WARNING FOR DESMOND HALL ARCS I AND II

Last week, I was going to work on finishing my next review, but then my muse pulled me aside and ordered me to write a Desmond Hall personality quiz while threatening me with a conjure doll and silver pin. Not every Desmond Hall character is in this quiz, only the ones that I thought would be the funniest to write. Enjoy!

1. You have just arrived at an ancient manor house enveloped in darkness that rests atop a sinister network of haunted caves. When you learn this, how do you react? A. Lie in bed for several days while writhing in agony. B. Accept it and keep myself busy while pining for my voodoo island home. C. Act insufferably smug, because soon the house will belong to me. D. Go search for creatures in the caves to alleviate my boredom and satisfy my compulsion to do random disturbing things. E. Barely react at all because the writers have forgotten that I have a personality. F. Swan around while talking to myself about how the manor looks like something out of a storybook. G. Wish that I could live there again, because I've been trapped in a trippy magical closet for months.

2. The daily newspaper arrives and the headline reads, "GIRL BRUTALLY MURDERED.” What is your response? A. Retreat to my bedchamber and panic loudly about how I hope no one discovers that I���m the murderer. B. Get the body buried and all evidence concealed. C. Observe a moment of silence for my former doxy, then promptly forget she ever existed. D. Cut out the photo of the victim's face, suspend it from a papier-mâché gallows tree, and display it prominently in the foyer. E. Feel moderately concerned for my safety, but not too much. My ghost boyfriend will protect me...maybe. F. Scheme to blackmail the killer into marrying me. G. Wonder, "Was that my brother again?"

3. Your hobbies include: A. Moping around the manor house in fancy suits and contorting my face as though trying unsuccessfully to relieve myself. B. Reciting dramatic monologues with bits of scenery caught between my teeth! C. Plotting murder, robbery, and the corruption of young maidens while sipping sherry. D. I wander. I visit. I'm here and there. I'm a kind of ghost of Desmond Hall. E. I used to enjoy rebelling, flouncing, and bickering, but I've lost my taste for those. Now I prefer hanging out with old people in a cottage that smells of strange spices. F. Talking to and stroking my sweet little snake. (By which I mean "reptile with no legs and a forked tongue." Get your mind out of the gutter.) G. Necromancy.

4. Your favorite foods include: A. Bubbly eggs cooked in champagne. Definitely not kippers. B. The cuisine of my native island, before the evil of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES made all the plants poisonous and killed all the animals! C. My spouse's hors d'oeuvres--but only when I don't have to eat them off the floor. D. Sugar, strawberries and cream, and the very best...*checks Teleprompter*...butter. E. Muffins laced with magical herbs. F. The delicious misery of the man who tried to strangle me and of all the other women who want him. G. I don't eat anymore. I'm a ghost. Food passes right through me--literally.

5. What turns you on? A. A lover who is unpredictable but not murderously crazy, and who likes to wear lacy nighties. B. I would not know! I have not felt those urges in three hundred years! C. Money. D. Anyone from my preferred gender who actually wants to spend time with me. E. A ghost who behaves like Edward Cullen. F. Jean Paul Desmond! He is the sexiest male character in the history of television. G. Submission and unquestioning devotion. Also, lesbians.

6. What is your signature look? A. Highly flattering mod suits combined with an unflattering combover. B. A long black Victorian dress. C. A stodgy gray/green suit, which is probably in desperate need of Febreze after being worn three days in a row. D. Turtlenecks. E. Bleached blonde hair and faddish early ‘70s fashions. F. Long pointed fingernails, false eyelashes, and a creepy grin. G. I once hung from the ceiling with my shirt torn open. Does that count?

7. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. What is yours? A. Although I want to reach out and help the beautiful young women who come to me, instead my hands reach out to kill! B. I single-handedly cursed my employer's family by signing his grandfather’s (misspelled) name on a pledge to the Dark Lord. C. I am a black widower. D. I used to participate in necromancy rituals with my dear cousin. E. I stole a piece of my mother's jewelry and sold it at a pawn shop. F. I am a priestess of the Serpent God. G. Funny you should mention skeletons. My closet has a literal one hanging in it.

8. If you had to guess, which of these personages were you most likely in a past life? A. A freebooter possessed by the Devil. B. Myself. C. Henry Seewald--who looks exactly like a toddler version of me--transported back in time via the 49th hexagram. D. Someone named Claude. E. A young girl sacrificed by a priestess who looked like my mother. F. Ophelia, if she were real. G. My great-uncle with the same first name as me, who was allegedly disowned for being a poet.

9. Your favorite Dark Shadows character is: A. Barnabas Collins. B. Magda Rakosi. C. Nicholas Blair. D. David Collins. E. Carolyn Stoddard. F. Angelique Bouchard. G. Quentin Collins.

10. What from 1970 Dark Shadows do you believe was most likely inspired by Strange Paradise? A. The character of Judah Zachery, who is highly reminiscent of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. B. The use of a retcon to completely change Angelique's backstory. C. The name Desmond Collins. D. The implied reincarnation in the Summer of '70 arc that (sadly) never got explored as much as it should have been. E. The subplot about Quentin falling in love with Daphne's ghost. F. The Leviathan cult's use of snake iconography. G. The carousel in Tad and Carrie's playroom.

If you answered mostly A, you are Jean Paul Desmond, richest man in the world and master of Desmond Hall. Tall, dark, and incredibly handsome in spite of his receding hairline, Jean Paul is the victim of two self-imposed curses, one of which causes him to strangle people when the Mark of Death appears on his hand (which is totally not a reflection of some repressed or hidden part of his personality, having formerly displayed megalomania and control freak tendencies on his island). When not under the effects of this curse, he is the living embodiment of charm and sweetness and attracts would-be partners like moths to a flame. Logically, the same must be true about you, because online personality quizzes are never wrong. ;)

If you answered mostly B, you are Raxl, daughter of the Priestess of the Serpent and winner of the Canadian 1969 and 1970 scenery-chewing contests. Far older than she looks, the Desmond family’s housekeeper may not be as loyal as she appears, depending on the whims of whomever wrote the plot outline for the final arc. She is an expert on all things occult and supernatural, from tarot cards to the Egyptian Key. Even after her retcon, she is awesome.

If you answered mostly C, you are Laslo Thaxton, husband of Ada (Desmond) Thaxton and master of Desmond Hall in the absence of Jean Paul and Philip. I would say that you are an unscrupulous, greedy Devil-worshiper like Laslo, but I’ve always hated those personality quizzes that make moral judgments about people just because they share some traits in common with the villain. Therefore, I’m just going to assume that you are most likely a decent person who only got Laslo because you happen to love money and Nicholas Blair.

If you answered mostly D, you are Cort Desmond, twenty-something cousin of Jean Paul and Philip. Eccentric and erratic but oh-so-adorable, Cort is a polarizing character loved by some fans for his good looks and (often unintentionally) funny lines, but hated by others for being somewhat of a spoiled brat. Like Hamlet whom he idolizes, he seeks justice for the death of his father, along with the inheritance his Dear Stepfather Laslo wants to steal from him.

If you answered mostly E, you are Holly Marshall--or, rather, what Holly has become since her creator Ian Martin left the show. Formerly a spitfire with a high IQ, a low boiling point, and a love for outdated slang, Holly has become a shell of her former self under the new writers. She spends more time unconscious and hypnotized than not; when she is conscious, she wastes her time pining after an unsuitable love interest who treats her like Edward treats Bella in Twilight. I hope this doesn’t describe you, because, if it does, you should seek help. Don’t be like Desmond Hall-era Holly!

If you answered mostly F, you are Agatha Pruitt, a young seamstress obsessed with Jean Paul. While the master of Desmond Hall has attracted many suitors, none are as strange or disturbing as Agatha, who blackmails him into letting her live at Desmond Hall after his failed murder attempt and proceeds to wreak havoc there along with the Serpent God (who may or may not be Raxl’s Great Serpent) whom she worships.

Finally, if you answered mostly G, you are Jean Paul’s brother, Philip Desmond (not to be confused with his cousin Philip Desmond, or either of the two Philippes des Mondes). A secretive figure largely mysterious even to his own brother, the handsome Philip dabbles in the dark arts and other mysteries, which ultimately leads to his disappearance into the caves beneath Desmondton and reappearance as a ghost. His character alignment is unclear--he may be evil, or just chaotic neutral--but one thing is clear: whoever messes with Philip has the Devil to pay.

[incorrect-victorious]

Are there any songs that you associate with characters/ships? I know there was some discussion about this topic somewhere earlier, but I always find it interesting because I feel like songs have a huge influence on some of my headcanons/writing.

cori songs: 

i got you babe (sonny & cher) // anon

i want to hold your hand (T.V. carpio) // incorrect-victorious

the way i am (ingrid michaelson) // incorrect-victorious

adore you (harry styles) // incorrect-victorious 

soldier, poet, king (the oh hellos) // incorrect-victorious

she (dodie) // incorrect-victorious

think about me (fleetwood mac) // anon

good day sunshine (the beatles) // anon 

edge of dawn (fire emblem 3 houses) // anon

make me feel (janelle monae) // anon 

monday (ashe & filous) // anon 

blondes (peach) // incorrect-victorious

turn to you (taylor iman jones & bonnie milligan) // incorrect-victorious

don’t go breaking my heart (elton john) // incorrect-victorious

mad about you (belinda carlisle) // incorrect-victorious

randre songs:

hey there delilah (plain white t’s) // incorrect-victorious

make you mine (public) // incorrect-victorious

blinding lights (the weeknd) // incorrect-victorious

loser (julian moon) // anon

i do adore (mindy gledhill) // anon

i don’t mind (the who) // anon

i don’t have a name for it (steam powered giraffe) // incorrect-victorious

trillow songs: 

ophelia (the lumineers) // incorrect-victorious

ready now (dodie) // incorrect-victorious

i choose you (sara bareilles) // incorrect-victorious

brown eyed girl (van morrison) // anon

turn to you (the go go’s) // incorrect-victorious (yes there’s a difference between this one and the cori one even though it’s the same song,,, you’ll get it if you listened to it)

cabbie songs: 

strawberry blonde (mitski) // incorrect-victorious

here comes my baby (cat stevens) // anon

tandre songs: 

paper rings (taylor swift) // incorrect-victorious 

my best friend (jefferson airplane) // anon

black magic (little mix) // incorrect-victorious

bade songs:

any paramore song (especially rose-colored boy & still into you) // incorrect-victorious

you don’t know me (elizabeth gillies) // incorrect-victorious

raining in london (anthony de la torre) // incorrect-victorious

you could be happy (wyldest) // incorrect-victorious

scotty doesn’t know (lustra) // anon “jade is the singer, beck is fiona, the group is scotty”

separate (PVRIS) // anon

hello, nice to meet you (crazy ex-girlfriend) // anon

if i could turn back time (cher) // anon

everywhere (fleetwood mac) // anon

die young (kesha) // anon

feels (calvin harris) // anon

there’s nothing holding me back (shawn mendes) // anon

i found someone (cher) // anon

just like jesse james (cher) // anon

photograph (ed sheeran) // forevertired96

olivia (one direction) // anon

only you (the pretty reckless) // anon

mardy bum (arctic monkeys) // anon

afterglow (taylor swift) // anon

the story of us (taylor swift) // anon

no sleep tonight (the faders) // anon

you don’t have to cry (crosby, stills, and nash) // anon

simply irresistable (robert palmer) // incorrect-victorious

drew barrymore (sza) // anon

you & i (picture this) // forevertired96

wildest dreams (taylor swift) // anon

two is better than one (boys like girls ft. taylor swift) // anon

i won’t say i’m in love (hercules) // anon

on purpose (sabrina carpenter) // anon

jori songs: 

black sheep (metric) // incorrect-victorious

take a hint (victoria justice & elizabeth gillies) // incorrect-victorious (duh)

why (sabrina carpenter) // amandadawnblock

no sleep tonight (the faders) // weused2befriends

jolene (dolly parton)  // weused2befriends

picture this (big time rush) // weused2befriends

co-pilot (letters to cleo) // weused2befriends

sisotowbell lane (joni mitchell) // anon

god shattering star (fire emblem 3 houses) // anon

candre songs: 

julia (colony house) // incorrect-victorious

dedicated to the one i love (the mamas and the papas) // anon

brina songs:

the tide is high (blondie) // weused2befriends

catch the wind (donovan) // anon

catorade songs:

triad (the byrds) // anon

cade songs:

a thousand years (christina perri) // fortuna-flying

cat valentine songs:

seventeen (marina and the diamonds) // incorrect-victorious

someone new (hozier) // incorrect-victorious

jade west songs:

hard times (paramore) // incorrect-victorious

brick by boring brick (paramore) // incorrect-victorious

[doppel-drop-distance]

Doppel Spotlights?

So, I’ve been thinking of doing something a bit different. As you all can glean from my update posts and liveblogs, I love Witches. And in the same way, I love Doppels. Not only do they look super cool, they appeal to my extensive love of symbolism and mystery. When I first found out Doppels were a thing I was totally psyched, because they are the perfect way to look at the Witch of a girl without her actually becoming one and making me sad.

Now, I’m going to preface this with the important point that I am not perfect with analysis. I’m probably gonna mess some stuff up, end up completely wrong on some parts, etc, etc. HOWEVER- I thought it’d be cool to give some time and research into the Doppels that are present in Magia Record. I don’t see too much analysis out there on Tumblr, and hey, my love for Doppels is basically my brand, so I might as well show them some more love. This does come with a few exceptions, though:

I won’t be analyzing any of the Doppels that are from Witches in the main series and Portable (Oktavia von Seckendorff, Charlotte, Kriemhild Gretchen, Ophelia, Candeloro, etc.) This is because those Witches have been done to death in analysis already, and I don’t think I could bring anything new to the table. I might analyze event variants like Holy Mami’s Candeloro since it’s TECHNICALLY a part of the story but I’m not 100% sure on that front yet.

I PROBABLY won’t be analyzing any Doppels from the spinoffs (Kazumi Magica, Oriko Magica, Suzune Magica, etc.), even if their witches aren’t present in the original, and that’s because I have not read the spinoffs. I do not think I’d give them a proper analysis without that context. This, of course, would change if I do read the spinoffs in the future, which I would like to do.

There are also characters that just don’t have Doppels, like the crossover characters. Even if they did, I don’t have enough knowledge about any of the crossover characters to do them justice.

The order in which I would do these remains to be seen. I kind of want to wait for when the Doppel releases on NA so I could get their proper, translated description...but that also means I wouldn’t be able to do Iroha’s first since she’s not released yet. XD

Also, if anyone wants to help out on this, I’d really appreciate it! I’m sure some of you know these characters way better than I do. I think this will be super fun! Hopefully!