#open foot insert mouth

[illuminatedquill]

. . . You know Sabine is obligated to make fun of Ezra about this forever.

There will be no peace for him. She considers herself honor-bound to give him endless grief about this line.

Scene: Ezra and Sabine are celebrating her birthday at a fancy restaurant. A waiter droid approaches with a birthday cake.

Ezra: Happy birthday, Sabine.

Waiter: And here is your cake. Enjoy.

Sabine, to Ezra: (evil smile) Thank you, brother.

Ezra: (sweating) Please don’t.

Waiter: Oh, it’s very sweet to see a brother dote on his sister for her birthday.

Sabine: Yes, it is! My brother is the best.

Ezra: Well, actually -

Sabine: (shuts him up with a big kiss)

Waiter: . . . Oh, my.

Ezra: (panicking) Wait! Listen - let me explain, it’s fine; we’re actually married.

Waiter: . . . I see. I’ll be off, then.

Ezra: I mean - we’re not related, that’s why it’s fine! We’re not actually brother and sister - never mind, he’s gone.

Sabine: (laughing hysterically)

Ezra: You should have left me to die on Peridea.

Sabine: (slicing up the cake) My bad, bro.

[snurtle]

I've been replaying Dragon Age: Inquisition and.. woof. I thought I was over the egg. Spoilers! I am not! I just fermented my egg-loving self like a fine wine and now it's back with nuanced undertones.

Also, may I just say. As a gay man, the Inquisition lineup is

listen. Varric, Solas, Blackwall, Bull, Cole, Dorian, Cullen, Krem... that's a full club. We've got twinks, we've got bears, we've got hunks and otters and dudes wearing gold cock rings as necklaces but sure buddy, you're definitely exclusively into women and not compensating for anything-

I need to know what the Thedan equivalent of flagging is outside of Tevinter. For. Reasons.

On a different note, for specifically Tevinter reasons, I'm going through with a Dorian focused romance this time and I think my heart exploded when he said amatus for the first time. He's so babygirl to me <3

[ohyeslawd]

Trump ass was lying his way to a win, but then he mentioned immigrants are taking #BlackJobs & #HispanicJobs 🥸. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!!!

[ladykissingfish]

Sasori, coming into bedroom: Deidara? Have you seen my —

Sasori: Oh, God.

Deidara: What?

Sasori: Good Lord in Heaven, brat, what are you wearing??

Deidara: *looks down at his sweater* What’s wrong with it?

Sasori: The sequins? The huge pink cats? The lace? Not to mention it’s got to be at least five sizes too big for you! It’s hideous! Where did you get such a monstrosity?!

Deidara, quietly: Your grandmother sewed this for me, to thank me for that sculpture I made her, hm. You asshole.

Sasori:

Sasori: … it’s absolutely beautiful.

[salad-juice-enjoyer]

I tried to write a snarky diatribe about it but I wasn't able to make it work. But if you think you solved "Superman Stays Out Gotham" in your crossover by making the Justice League think that the events of your blorbo series are an elaborate prank, and making sure said blorbo bashes them to hell and back then just go sit on a cactus.

[doctorspork]

was bringing a patient with a head bleed back from CT and told the team “I’m setting up to intubate, if neurosurgery wants an exam they’re gonna have to get here before I’m ready”

and then a very quiet voice from my elbow goes “um I’m neurosurgery”

[clatterbane]

Oh God, yet another fun round of "Shit, just how wrong did that come across sounding? Too late now, it's already out there. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Gotta say, this is probably one of the reasons that I do like me some internet pseudonymity.

[siixkiing]

“Oh, there are the cramps starting.”

[georgekirrin]

everyone out here like "ooooh I'm the gateway gay cousin of the family" well I'm the gateway trans grandchild and u can't be cooler than that

[mercuryj15]

Did anyone else gasp just a little when she made the 'at least I know my roots' comment about a POC in America? Because there's a reason for that and I don't think they really want to have that conversation.

[rabbit-dance]

Chapter 05: Outsider - Page 26

◀️ Previous | Next ▶️ | “Plague Rat” Masterpost

Thanks for being so patient with me, I've had a lot going on lately, including a tiny computer upgrade with some subsequent downtime. Oh well, at least it's going now!

The biggest thing is how I made this page. This is the first page that I've made without the help of 3D character models.

Typically, I use 3D mannequins to help me with perspective, height differences, etc. But posing those models for every single frame takes a long time, and I've found (as my old animator skills return) that the 3D dolls were starting to limit the art. Poses were coming out a bit stiff for my liking, the mannequin hands can't curl the way a real hand can, and some of the joints don't work quiiiiite right, or take a lot of fiddling to look good...

So, I've been practicing and studying on top of everything to try and get back to my old level. I felt confident enough to try on this one, and guess what? Cal and Fern only took two days! Honestly the backgrounds (which I will still use 3D wherever I can, because OOF) took the longest time because I had to draw most parts of them. I also designed a stained glass window, which you can barely see in panel 2, but it's finished and it'll be very useful for Future Rabbit.

I will do my best to continue to improve not only my skills, but also my speed!

[depravednexus]

"Oh my..." She cleared her throat as she quickly averted her gaze from the way the towel clung to the other womans frame and left nothing to her own imagination.

"Nipple hand? NEED! Need a hand?"

[filosofablogger]

The Danger Of Unharnessed Stupidity

I just can’t resist.  I usually try not to go too low, and thus I had bookmarked this piece by Robert Reich but hesitated to share it here.  Every few days, though, I re-considered, but then thought, “No, best not to go there.”  But today, I think I’ll go there.  After all, one of the smartest men I know went there and as far as I know he didn’t offend anyone, except perhaps the target of his…

[salad-juice-enjoyer]

AO3 allows people to tag their works as "Better than canon" for the same reason bugs use warm colors to ward of predators.

[ozarkthedog]

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠

summary: Logan fucks you with one of his cigars.

pairing: Logan Howlett x afab!reader

warnings: 18+ mdni. smut. object insertion -> unlit cigar. don't try this at home. wc: 509

an: welp, here i am, writing about object insertion once again. first time writing Logan despite pining for him since 2000. thanks to @missredherring for having no qualms about being fucked with a cigar. you're a real one.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⋅ 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐬

Logan lands a heavy thumb on your clit and swirls the tiny button producing an excess of slick from your glistening sex. "Want 'er nice n' wet." He brazenly informs while puffing on a lit cigar nestled between his lips.

Earlier, he tempted you into his bedroom with a grin; you didn't notice the new box of cigars tucked under his arm. He softly commanded you to lie on his bed and to hold your legs apart.

"I wanna try somethin'."

You should've known how this would turn out when he stood between your thighs and brought one of the fresh cigars to his nose, smelling it like a predator catching whiff of wounded prey.

He teases the head of an uncapped cigar along your puffy, slick opening and slowly drags the blunt end up and down, making sure to gather as much sticky arousal as he can before pushing into your warmth. "There ya go, you can take it."

The pressure is noticeable as it glides across your velvet walls. The cigar is as thick as one of Logan's fingers and grazes all the right spots as he languidly fucks you with it. "Wanna taste ya all day long."

Your stomach cramps at the thought of how inappropriate it was to be fucked with such an object, not to mention the fact that Logan would be puffing away on your pussy soaked cigar in front of people.

"Come on, kid. Drench it." Logan commands, making your cunt clench hard as he rubs tight, steady circles around your clit and forces you to come with no chance of denial.

He husks immoral praise while he continues to thrust the cigar deeper, staining it with your arousal until you try to clamp your thighs together and push at his forearms, overwrought with mind-numbing bliss. "Logan, please," you whimper pitifully as your cunt beats in time with your heart.

He smirks before sliding the cigar from your heat, eliciting a soft, relieved groan from your chest. You watch in awe as he raises and inspects the cigar. It's effectively soaked, dripping with your creamy arousal, and the thought makes you lightheaded.

Logan plucks the old cigar he was puffing on from his mouth and eagerly replaces it with the one just inside you. He cuts the cigar cap with a butterfly blade he keeps stowed in his pocket before flicking his lighter; the foot sizzles, burning like the sun before he takes a few cautious drags and tongues the freshly sodded head. Earthy smoke swirls from his mouth as he leers down at you like a dragon fresh after a kill.

"Fuckin' delicious," he mutters. The words are garbled, barely coherent, over the cigar before he rolls it to the corner of his mouth with his tongue.

A weak laugh breezes out of your throat, and you shake your head with bewilderment before two brute hands catch you by surprise and wedge your knees apart. Logan splays your thighs wide open with a wicked smile.

"Got 9 more to go, bub."

feel free to scream at me -> 💌

reblogs & comments are extremely appreciated! follow @ozzieslibrary for new fic updates!

[pactofthewikiwarlock]

One time I was at a party for a friend/adoptive maternal figure's 50th birthday, and had found my way to the corner where her friends from a discord server were congregating.

I sat down in the middle of someone's story, about being forced to attend a Saturday school type thing. And they ended it with "And the worst part was that it meant I had to wait for reruns to see the new episodes of Winx club"

And my dumb ass, mouth on autopilot, having not introduced myself or asked anyone's name or done anything but sit with a circle of 20-somethings, says "Oh, so you're gay."

All 10 yo boys wish to become girls so they can join the winx club right