#open mouth insert foot
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ohyeslawd · 6 months ago
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Trump ass was lying his way to a win, but then he mentioned immigrants are taking #BlackJobs & #HispanicJobs 🥸. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!!!
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salad-juice-enjoyer · 2 years ago
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I tried to write a snarky diatribe about it but I wasn't able to make it work. But if you think you solved "Superman Stays Out Gotham" in your crossover by making the Justice League think that the events of your blorbo series are an elaborate prank, and making sure said blorbo bashes them to hell and back then just go sit on a cactus.
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clatterbane · 10 months ago
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Oh God, yet another fun round of "Shit, just how wrong did that come across sounding? Too late now, it's already out there. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
Gotta say, this is probably one of the reasons that I do like me some internet pseudonymity.
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mercuryj15 · 5 months ago
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Did anyone else gasp just a little when she made the 'at least I know my roots' comment about a POC in America? Because there's a reason for that and I don't think they really want to have that conversation.
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rabbit-dance · 6 months ago
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Chapter 05: Outsider - Page 26
◀️ Previous | Next ▶️ | “Plague Rat” Masterpost
Thanks for being so patient with me, I've had a lot going on lately, including a tiny computer upgrade with some subsequent downtime. Oh well, at least it's going now!
The biggest thing is how I made this page. This is the first page that I've made without the help of 3D character models.
Typically, I use 3D mannequins to help me with perspective, height differences, etc. But posing those models for every single frame takes a long time, and I've found (as my old animator skills return) that the 3D dolls were starting to limit the art. Poses were coming out a bit stiff for my liking, the mannequin hands can't curl the way a real hand can, and some of the joints don't work quiiiiite right, or take a lot of fiddling to look good...
So, I've been practicing and studying on top of everything to try and get back to my old level. I felt confident enough to try on this one, and guess what? Cal and Fern only took two days! Honestly the backgrounds (which I will still use 3D wherever I can, because OOF) took the longest time because I had to draw most parts of them. I also designed a stained glass window, which you can barely see in panel 2, but it's finished and it'll be very useful for Future Rabbit.
I will do my best to continue to improve not only my skills, but also my speed!
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depravednexus · 8 months ago
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"Oh my..." She cleared her throat as she quickly averted her gaze from the way the towel clung to the other womans frame and left nothing to her own imagination.
"Nipple hand? NEED! Need a hand?"
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illuminatedquill · 1 year ago
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. . . You know Sabine is obligated to make fun of Ezra about this forever.
There will be no peace for him. She considers herself honor-bound to give him endless grief about this line.
Scene: Ezra and Sabine are celebrating her birthday at a fancy restaurant. A waiter droid approaches with a birthday cake.
Ezra: Happy birthday, Sabine.
Waiter: And here is your cake. Enjoy.
Sabine, to Ezra: (evil smile) Thank you, brother.
Ezra: (sweating) Please don’t.
Waiter: Oh, it’s very sweet to see a brother dote on his sister for her birthday.
Sabine: Yes, it is! My brother is the best.
Ezra: Well, actually -
Sabine: (shuts him up with a big kiss)
Waiter: . . . Oh, my.
Ezra: (panicking) Wait! Listen - let me explain, it’s fine; we’re actually married.
Waiter: . . . I see. I’ll be off, then.
Ezra: I mean - we’re not related, that’s why it’s fine! We’re not actually brother and sister - never mind, he’s gone.
Sabine: (laughing hysterically)
Ezra: You should have left me to die on Peridea.
Sabine: (slicing up the cake) My bad, bro.
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ladykissingfish · 2 years ago
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Sasori, coming into bedroom: Deidara? Have you seen my —
Sasori: Oh, God.
Deidara: What?
Sasori: Good Lord in Heaven, brat, what are you wearing??
Deidara: *looks down at his sweater* What’s wrong with it?
Sasori: The sequins? The huge pink cats? The lace? Not to mention it’s got to be at least five sizes too big for you! It’s hideous! Where did you get such a monstrosity?!
Deidara, quietly: Your grandmother sewed this for me, to thank me for that sculpture I made her, hm. You asshole.
Sasori:
Sasori: … it’s absolutely beautiful.
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doctorspork · 2 years ago
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was bringing a patient with a head bleed back from CT and told the team “I’m setting up to intubate, if neurosurgery wants an exam they’re gonna have to get here before I’m ready”
and then a very quiet voice from my elbow goes “um I’m neurosurgery”
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jinsai-ish · 2 years ago
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Also ALL her characters are a complex mix of traits and personality, which is why, ironically, they're so human.
Ali also cannot keep his mouth shut.
Literally.
alizayd for character opinion bingo 🧍🏽‍♀️
Thank you! 💖
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Alizayd al Qahtani is the fucking best. There is no contest. He's empathetic, he's a sass machine, he's got a backbone made of righteous steel, he's a nerd raised to be a jock and was the best zulfiqari of his generation through sheer determination. He's the smartest (and tallest) man in the room that loves to help people and is also an oblivious social loser. He's a math genius and an economic wizard that outsmarted the Royal Treasury's best accountants as a teenager to secretly fund and make the Tanzeem's illegal transactions untraceable, and *During a Recession* got a millennia-old decrepit hospital to be completely rebuilt and functional in like 6 months. He also actually listens to people, and did possibly the most romantic thing in the series by building Nahri her private Cairo-themed office. He's self-sacrificing and self-denying to a fault and all he wants to do is fix things (and swim, and read), and he perfectly fits into soldier life and civilian life.
My man has the best character arc of the trilogy as he learns and grows past his early prejudice and indecision while sharpening his best traits. He is constantly reevaluating himself and his actions while still holding on to what matters to him, like his faith and his idealism that Daevabad can be improved. Even in the depths of his bitterness or grief, he always returns to trying to do the right thing, and not holding unrelated people responsible for the actions of others. He has the best motivational speeches in the series. His great grandpa is a crocodile and their scenes together are hilarious.
My man Alizayd has some Lord of the Rings: Return of the King-level epicness, in how he is descended from both Zaydi al Qahtani and the marid-blessed Armah. Zaydi, who rallied the djinn world against the genocidal Nahids and overthrew them to take Daevabad 1400 years earlier; and his ally Armah who commanded the marid to help take the city and Suleiman's Ring, and made the ultimate sacrifice by staying allied with the djinn. Ali is constantly compared to Zaydi in City of Brass and Kingdom of Copper, but there's this steady transfer of similarities to Armah in Kingdom of Copper and Empire of Gold, until Ali is truly representing both sides combined as he aids Nahri and a global army that he put together in three days to once again take back Daevabad from a genocidal Nahid. The man is a fucking legend, and with any other author or director it would unquestionably be at the forefront of the story. Instead it hides in background details foe readers to piece together, like it's barely worth mentioning.
This is because my man Ali also has the self-confidence/self-esteem of a shy beetle hiding six feet under the earth, and the author's subtle/vague writing style and inability to stand up for what she's trying to say when people misunderstand has created... how do I word this... A lot of wiggle room for bullshit?
Ali gets dragged a lot for being self-righteous and a fanatic, because characters that are threatened by him in the book call him that, and readers parrot it without any consideration or critical thought. Is it self-righteous to be against slavery? Or to create personal boundaries regarding drinking and premarital sex? Is it fanaticism when he argues against corruption, or practices his religion *in a completely normal way?* I dare say no! But Ali is both black and muslim, so he gets a shit load of shit from every corner, and with the author unable to really clear things up and too cowardly to even admit that Ali is her favorite character without immediately asking everyone to forget she said that (Oops. Also: no), it makes me very, very concerned for whoever ends up playing Ali in the Netflix show. Because if past is any pretext, he's definitely not gonna get paid enough for all the harassment he'll face. And if the author can't stand up for her characters and book themes now, how will she do it when the audience is much, much bigger and louder? :/
As much as I love Ali and his countless parallels with Nahri, and have a thousand headcanons for him (and a thousand fic & art ideas/wips), the series itself (or rather how it undid all its narrative themes in the end to appease loud fans who never understood what the series was trying to say in the first place, along with the author's blindspots regarding the Nahids/Daevas), has made me incredibly bitter. 🙃 I am someone who worships canon encyclopedically and remembers everything, and have come to the unfortunate realization that I cannot in good health ever read this series again.
So my beloved blorbo Ali exists for me in a weird dimension that I cannot really interact with anymore. Made worse because I still desperately want to see fandom stuff, but then also viciously tear apart everything I find. 💀
Idk how to end this. Thanks for the ask! ☺️
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salad-juice-enjoyer · 1 year ago
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AO3 allows people to tag their works as "Better than canon" for the same reason bugs use warm colors to ward of predators.
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siixkiing · 2 years ago
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“Oh, there are the cramps starting.”
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filosofablogger · 9 months ago
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The Danger Of Unharnessed Stupidity
I just can’t resist.  I usually try not to go too low, and thus I had bookmarked this piece by Robert Reich but hesitated to share it here.  Every few days, though, I re-considered, but then thought, “No, best not to go there.”  But today, I think I’ll go there.  After all, one of the smartest men I know went there and as far as I know he didn’t offend anyone, except perhaps the target of his…
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pactofthewikiwarlock · 1 year ago
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One time I was at a party for a friend/adoptive maternal figure's 50th birthday, and had found my way to the corner where her friends from a discord server were congregating.
I sat down in the middle of someone's story, about being forced to attend a Saturday school type thing. And they ended it with "And the worst part was that it meant I had to wait for reruns to see the new episodes of Winx club"
And my dumb ass, mouth on autopilot, having not introduced myself or asked anyone's name or done anything but sit with a circle of 20-somethings, says "Oh, so you're gay."
All 10 yo boys wish to become girls so they can join the winx club right
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rabbit-dance · 2 years ago
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Chapter 02: Culture Shock - Part 6
◀️ Previous | Next ▶️ | "Plague Rat" Masterpost
Zane just opened his mouth and stuck his big, stompy Goth boot ALLLL the way in there. Luckily, he's quick to apologize and Cal is quick to forgive.
And hey! It's the crew of the Carpathia!
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ozarkthedog · 4 months ago
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠
summary: Logan fucks you with one of his cigars.
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pairing: Logan Howlett x afab!reader
warnings: 18+ mdni. smut. object insertion -> unlit cigar. don't try this at home. wc: 509
an: welp, here i am, writing about object insertion once again. first time writing Logan despite pining for him since 2000. thanks to @missredherring for having no qualms about being fucked with a cigar. you're a real one.
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⋅ 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐬
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Logan lands a heavy thumb on your clit and swirls the tiny button producing an excess of slick from your glistening sex. "Want 'er nice n' wet." He brazenly informs while puffing on a lit cigar nestled between his lips.
Earlier, he tempted you into his bedroom with a grin; you didn't notice the new box of cigars tucked under his arm. He softly commanded you to lie on his bed and to hold your legs apart.
"I wanna try somethin'."
You should've known how this would turn out when he stood between your thighs and brought one of the fresh cigars to his nose, smelling it like a predator catching whiff of wounded prey.
He teases the head of an uncapped cigar along your puffy, slick opening and slowly drags the blunt end up and down, making sure to gather as much sticky arousal as he can before pushing into your warmth. "There ya go, you can take it."
The pressure is noticeable as it glides across your velvet walls. The cigar is as thick as one of Logan's fingers and grazes all the right spots as he languidly fucks you with it. "Wanna taste ya all day long."
Your stomach cramps at the thought of how inappropriate it was to be fucked with such an object, not to mention the fact that Logan would be puffing away on your pussy soaked cigar in front of people.
"Come on, kid. Drench it." Logan commands, making your cunt clench hard as he rubs tight, steady circles around your clit and forces you to come with no chance of denial.
He husks immoral praise while he continues to thrust the cigar deeper, staining it with your arousal until you try to clamp your thighs together and push at his forearms, overwrought with mind-numbing bliss. "Logan, please," you whimper pitifully as your cunt beats in time with your heart.
He smirks before sliding the cigar from your heat, eliciting a soft, relieved groan from your chest. You watch in awe as he raises and inspects the cigar. It's effectively soaked, dripping with your creamy arousal, and the thought makes you lightheaded.
Logan plucks the old cigar he was puffing on from his mouth and eagerly replaces it with the one just inside you. He cuts the cigar cap with a butterfly blade he keeps stowed in his pocket before flicking his lighter; the foot sizzles, burning like the sun before he takes a few cautious drags and tongues the freshly sodded head. Earthy smoke swirls from his mouth as he leers down at you like a dragon fresh after a kill.
"Fuckin' delicious," he mutters. The words are garbled, barely coherent, over the cigar before he rolls it to the corner of his mouth with his tongue.
A weak laugh breezes out of your throat, and you shake your head with bewilderment before two brute hands catch you by surprise and wedge your knees apart. Logan splays your thighs wide open with a wicked smile.
"Got 9 more to go, bub."
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feel free to scream at me -> 💌
reblogs & comments are extremely appreciated! follow @ozzieslibrary for new fic updates!
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