#ooze prank

[jadetheblueartist]

Hello!

To celebrate the beginning of the Family Reunion Summer Camp, we (cabin 8) decided to offer every other participant and cabin a little something!

(Art and Mind’ O Wave AU by @liya4kar

EMD AU by @evenmoreofadisaster

Big Mama’s Favorite by @usernameneon)

(The words in her confused thought ramble: “Why are there more turtles? Where are they all coming from? Why are they all here? Why am I here? What even is ‘here’? Are these ‘my’ turtles? Does Mama want me to attack them? Should I take their loot?!”)

Frida had just come back from a successful attack on what she thought was the turtles. Now there were these guys? Why were there so many turtles? She needed to figure out what was going on, but taking the free stuff from these turtles couldn’t hurt…

Cabin eight, this is an act of war!!

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion Cabin 13 :) hence the super cool shirt (courtesy of @ellieskellyartwork)

I accidentally took way too much time on this… oh well hahaha

[liya4kar]

Because I still can’t put video in reblogs, here the answer for @chessman-protocol awesome answer for the ooze prank. Don might be dead, though.

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

EDIT: I forgot but please check the original answer by chessman. Genuinely screamed when I saw it the first time and laughed so hard. Get the boys.

[delulustoryteller]

The Prank

Some things do change.

"If Prongs hadn't stopped me, Snape would be dead and-" Remus' voice falters. "And I'd be put down." He heaves, finally getting his words out.

"So yea, Sirius. I have a pretty good reason not to talk you, so stop whining." He takes a shuttering breath.

Peter closes his eyes, and angles his head away. As if to block their arguing. Nothing out of the ordinary, he almost never takes sides. What is surprising is James not jumping to Sirius's defense.

"I was trying to avenge you! Snivellus was already getting fucking suspicious!" Sirius yells, as if he was the one who was wronged.

A bitter thought forms in his head,

Some things never change.

[sofiadragon]

Got sick again, read a Harry Potter fanfic that had been in my read later forever while on decongestants, and now I'm writing a fixit starring Snape.

The man was all ready to walk into the afterlife and take whatever he had coming, but an upset Harry Potter meets him in the fog limbo train station between life and death. Harry's upset with Dumbledore playing with several generations of people like it's his personal dollhouse instead of fixing anything, says Severus deserved better, and yeets his brain into his 16 year old body for a redo.

More under the cut, because I wrote an epic legnth trans-positive Loki story and JKR is a TERF. The characters live in my head rent-free due to a decade of obsession, and at least Voldemort never intentionally misgendered anybody.

Reluctant savior vibe. Decides the arms race he and the Maurauders had made a lot of useful stuff he could patent so he isn't so desperate for money that he must serve the Dark Lord. He figured out he was ace biromantic a while ago. Despite still caring for Lilly she was a bad friend to him, and his possessive behavior made him a bad friend to her, and it was never going to work. Ends up with Regulus, Horcrux hunting with a group of people that really didn't want to serve a madman but would never go to Dumbledore due to the old man's prejudice.

Voldemort is insane because that's what horcruxes do when you make more than one, and making the Locket in '79 is what cracked him for good. He used to have some fair points and possibly workable policy ideas, but it's devolving into nothing more than calls to violence and a desire to burn the government to the ground.

(Oh hi Mitch McConnell, didn't see your dry husk come in. Sorry, I don't have any appropriate refreshments for an undead turtle. No, you aren't in this story, but I can see how you would think so.)

[gyrlliar]

Initiation pt.2

(football team x bttm cheerleader male/ftm reader)

(note: currently healing from pneumonia, but i'm back, i missed you sluts so much haha)

You gulped as you stared up at their musky cocks and sweaty faces. You thought initiations would be like drinking gross drinks or being pranked by the seniors...not...this. But who said you were complaining? You sucked on Ivan's cock as Gerald started going to town on your lower half. Gerald lightly prodded his tongue on your throbbing hole and started to eat you out.

You squeaked on Ivan's cock, the noise vibrating on his sensitive rod making him groan loudly. The twins looked over at you with devious grins on their faces, Luke slightly pushes Lucas to the side, making Lucas scoff and push Luke back. "Hey, I'm gonna get a handjob from him first!" Luke protested as Lucas stuck out his tongue at him.

The twins proceeded to bicker back and forth as Daniel stands in front of you, his face was red and embarassed. Ivan chuckles at his face, Ivan's blue eyes look down at you, groans bubbling from his throat whilst he's trying to speak. "This cutie has enough room in his mouth for the both of us, Danny. Get your knob slobbered over by this one."

Ivan's southern accent came out, his precum bursting in your mouth. Soft and lewd moans and whimpers came out muffled in your mouth as you felt Gerald lick a sensitive part of your hot, dripping sex. Ivan shoved more of his cock down your throat, the way that his cock curved over to the right scratched your throat...gosh, you won't be able to yell cheers for weeks after this.

Daniel shook his head at Ivan's offer, his hands over his boner as he refused to use you even though how enticing you looked right now...

Your mind was melting from the heat of the hot intimacy happening to your previously virgin body, you jerked your head back into Ivan's fat cock as Gerald's tongue prodded on your hole.

Daniel was going insane over your lewd expression as you were getting overstimulated. Ivan laughs at Daniel's unreadable face, "Too scared to fuck this cutie? C'mon, we gotta help him become the best cheerleader!" Ivan said with a deep laugh.

Gerald then pulled Daniel to his side, your aching and throbbing hole was presented to him lewdly. "C'mon Cap...relax for once and fuck this tight and delicious hole." Gerald offered to Daniel.

Daniel gulped heavily, his sweaty hands grabbed your soft yet muscular thighs which made his cock twitch. He pushed your legs apart easily, your flexibility made his cock twitch once more as he stared at your pretty hole that was winking at him.

"Cap, c'mon, fuck his little brains out! You starin' at his ass like you fallin' in love...I mean, shit I would too." Gerald stated jokingly whilst the others agreed. Daniel glared at him briefly as he felt his heart pump in jealousy.

He had to be honest. Ever since the first day of college, when he saw you dressed up like a stereotypical preppy cheerleader, he always used to scoff at those people, but you...you were just so...fucking cute and so nice.

The way you waved and smiled at him as he was just looking at you whilst he was walking in the campus, the way that you randomly gave him his favorite drink before a football match to 'boost your energy!'...why are you so fucking cute?

Daniel's hazel eyes shined as he grabbed your hips and the hot tip of his cock prodded against your throbbing hole. "I-I'm...gonna go in now." He said, his voice cracking in the process.

Your sex twitched cutely, it was like you saying 'go ahead, use me', Daniel's cock and heart throbbed as he accidentally roughly shoved his long and thick cock in your sex, making you moan loudly and your eyes tear up.

Ivan groaned as he felt the vibrations of your moans on his sensitive cock, making more precum ooze into your warm mouth. He laughed, "Woah there Cap'! I always knew you were a rough guy in the field, but I didn't know it was with sex too!" They all laughed as Daniel panicked slightly.

He soothingly rubbed the side of your hips with his rough hands as you relaxed around his cock. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Daniel said, panic and worry evident in his face. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your chest, almost like you saying that it was alright.

Daniel felt his face heat up even more as he started thrusting into you at a gentle pace, his hand started groping your pretty chest, tweaking your cute nipples, making your sex spasm around him. His eyes furrowed in frustration, 'Goddamnit...you're so cute.' He thought as he started thrusting faster.

The two twins finally ended their squawking and decided to let your two hands pleasure them both. Luke moaned softly as he felt your soft hand gently massage his cock, whilst Lucas used your other hand vigorously to pump his dripping cock.

Ivan pulled Gerald next to him and Gerald whipped out his thick and girthy cock, "I'm gonna pull out of your mouth for a sec' babe...'cuz you're gonna worship both our cocks." You nodded mindlessly as Ivan pulled his cock out of your mouth with a lewd pop.

You started licking Gerald's fat and musky cock and kissing Ivan's long rod. At this point, your mind has melted like butter. All of the football team was using you like a sex toy, whether or not if they were rough or not, they were so good at what they were doing...at football and sex.

Everyone started speeding up their pace as you slobbered onto Gerald's cock, making him groan. Ivan jerked off his cock on top of your face, his precum dripping onto your cute, fucked out face.

The two twins moaned loudly as they used your soft hands to jack off their cocks, Daniel started fucking you animalistically, making you moan loudly on the two cocks that were in your mouth now.

Everyone started moaning aggressively, as if they were doing the hardest and toughest of practices and drills...well...technically they were, just with you. You felt their cocks chub up as you felt an orgasm build up in your sex.

The final stretch, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as they all started spurting ropes of cum onto your body and into your mouth. You gulped down the cum in your mouth, your mind was working on autopilot at this point.

They all panted heavily as Daniel was still fucking you like an animal, your sticky hands went to his back as he adjusted your position for you to look at his face. Your cum stained face was so cute...Daniel hugged you whilst closing his eyes.

"Damnit...you're too cute!" He said whilst he came agressively into you, along with him, you also had your orgasm, making you moan lewdly and hug him back. You all panted heavily as Daniel pulled out of your used hole.

They all looked at each other and smiled in a smug way, telepathically saying to each other, 'Holy shit, we just fucked the cutest cheerleader.'

The two twins carried you to the showers where they cleaned your body. Gerald and Ivan brought you some clean clothes and snacks, you blushed a bright red as after they were fucking you like no tomorrow, they were now treating you like a prince.

The whole team made you relax as they cracked up jokes and silly stories as Gerald massaged your aching body. After a while, the whole team waved goodbye to you as they went home. Except Daniel.

Daniel sat next to you in silence, his face was flushed as he silently handed you his phone. "Please give me your number..." He said softly as you blushed. "O-okay...um...I can't believe you'd want to have sex with me again after absolutely wrecking me." You joked out with shy chuckle.

"N-No! I want to go on a date with you...that's why I asked for your number." Daniel said nervously. "Oh." You muttered out as you shakily typed in your phone number in his phone.

"T-Thank you!" He said quite loudly, he winced at himself as he stood up and suddenly kissed your soft lips. He pulled away with a shocked expression, as if he was shocked at himself for kissing you. "B-...Bye!" He blurted out as he left the locker room.

You placed your hand on your lips, and smiled slightly. You squealed softly. "Cute..."

.

.

.

(THIS IS SO BAD I'M SORRY GUYS.)

[kaisserin]

Show me your nails

This is your first time visiting a beauty salon with Sebastian's money. Warning: age difference (student reader), Ferrari! seb, sugar daddy, beauty industry, jerking off to a man, 18+

You rarely visited any fashionable beauty salons. Or rather, never. All your concern for appearance was reduced to a pair of masks in the morning and before going to bed. You preferred to do your nails at a friend's place. The student scholarship did not allow her to look like a model from fashion week. But everything changed when Sebastian came into your life. Of course, you were embarrassed to ask him for a couple hundred extra euros. You didn't want him to think that you were with him because of his financial condition. Your shyness made the four-time champion smile every time. - Y/n, honey, why do I need a seven-digit number on the card if I can't spend it on the girl I love? So it is this time. You and Sebastian were going to another event hosted by Ferrari. And since this should be your first appearance as a racer's girlfriend, you should look the part. You refused for a long time before Sebastian literally put a wad of euros in your pocket and told you to spend every penny on yourself. You have no choice but to obey this man. Sometimes his persistence got on your nerves and in his desire to spend money on you, he turned into a pain in the ass. No wonder that by the evening you barely recognized yourself in the mirror: shining makeup, styled hair where not a single hair gets out of the hairstyle and of course manicure: scarlet nails with a small white "five" on the ring finger and index fingers painted in the color of the German flag, his flag. Sebastian couldn't help but look at you. Almost all the way to Maranello, he tirelessly kissed your hand, which seemed so small in his large palm, calloused from gloves and steering wheel. Suddenly, he braked a little more sharply at the traffic light. You swayed in the passenger seat and leaned forward slightly. You put your hand forward and by chance it clearly falls on the groin of the Ferrari racer. Sebastian looks down. Your delicate palm with those lovely red nails on his black trousers. He feels like he's starting to tense up under your palm. You've noticed it too, and you can't help but grin. - Sebastian? -Yes, honey? You lightly rubbed the fabric of his trousers, which got a guttural growl. - Sweetheart, we're halfway to the event, I can't just show up there with a boner. - That's right, you can't. You reached for the belt buckle, then for the zipper and his organ is already in your hands. His organ was almost completely ready for action. Your fingers are wrapped around the trunk. The darkness in the cabin made the color of the penis almost burgundy and more alluring. You swiped your finger up and down several times, making Sebastian literally growl with excitement. The red nails slid over the velvety skin, the thumb froze on the oozing head. Your movements were speeding up and slowing down. Sebastian has already started to enter you on his own, wanting to get the necessary release. Sebastian has already pushed into your hand on his own, wanting to get a discharge. Already in the parking lot in Maranello, he poured out, staining your fingers with his seed. He quickly cleaned himself of his tracks, but you didn't miss the chance to lick your index finger, as if there were still traces of your prank. An hour later, you were already beaming at the event as a couple. Sebastian possessively forced you to wrap your hand around his forearm and dozens of cameras captured the moment where your delicate hand with red nails was wrapped around a black jacket sleeve. And no one guessed what this hand with red nails was capable of.

[pathologicalreid]

for the fear of falling apart | part four

you missed the paperwork that said joining the BAU meant having an unstable personal life, and Cat Adams is dedicated to making sure you know nothing is ever private

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

series masterlist

who? spencer reid x jareau!reader category: angst content warnings: fear of drowning, couples counseling, spencer's mommy issues, takes place during 15x6 "date night", pregnancy and miscarriage, stillbirth, sexual assault, way too many ellipses, suicide, attempted murder, reader's daddy issues, details from the dirty dozen plotline, mishandled apologies, a lot of yapping, near drowning, disassociation, self harm word count: 9.75k a/n: i hate cat adams so much but god she is so funny in this episode. also cat and spencer shippers are not welcome. why does he look so good in this gif. this is the extent of my coherent thoughts.

“I just made the bed,” you complained halfheartedly, still allowing yourself to be tugged over to the bed despite your protests.

Climbing up on the bed, you tucked yourself into Spencer’s side, so cold after getting out of bed that you wished you could absorb his body heat. “C’mere,” he muttered, placing his hands on either side of your waist and pulling you over him, the two of you meeting face to face. “Hi pretty,” he greeted, craning his head up to place a gentle kiss on your lips.

You smiled slightly against his lips, ducking your head so that your mouths never separated. Mornings away from the bureau were few and far between, so you weren’t interested in wasting a single moment. “Good morning,” you whispered before bringing your lips back to his.

When the phone started to ring, Spencer’s hands fell from your waist in disappointment. He leaned his head back while you rolled off the bed and handed him his phone which he begrudgingly answered, “Hey, what’s up?”

With the phone on speaker, you heard Emily’s voice ring through the phone, “We have a case, it’s urgent,” concern oozed through her tone as you pulled your blazer on over your blouse.

“Alright, we’ll be right in,” he responded for the both of you. Most of the time, they only needed to call one of you.

Emily cleared her throat, “Spencer, there’s something you need to know.”

The thirty-minute drive from the district to Quantico was silent. You decided to drive, not wanting to worry about the metro when there was so much on the line. Barely having put the car in park, Spencer was already flying out of the car and to the elevator.

Several questions rested like a weight on the tip of your tongue and part of you hoped that this was all part of a morbid prank, but you knew when it came to Cat, it was never a joke. Purposefully being the first two people there, you followed Spencer to where Prentiss and Rossi were waiting in the roundtable room, “Catch us up,” he said, walking through the doorway and beginning to study the information on the screen.

“Early this morning Garcia got an email from an anonymous server,” Emily began, looking between the both of you with concern in her eyes.

Dave nodded next to her, “She’s not obscuring her face, telling us she’s got nothing to hide.”

Next to you, Spencer nodded, slipping both of his hands into his pockets, “Any ideas on the victims or UnSub?”

Chewing nervously on the inside of your lip, you looked at the screen carefully. The photo displayed two girls, one of them a teenager, maybe eighteen, and the other couldn’t be much older than ten. You didn’t speak, waiting for the words that you have heard over the phone to be spoken in person.

“No, only the UnSub’s demand that we release Catherine Adams within twenty-four hours. I’m having her transferred here for questioning,” she informed Spencer, “But we have no illusions. This is just a game to her, we know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

In your periphery, you watched the remaining members of the team funnel into the bullpen, each of them placing their belongings on their respective desks before setting up for the day. Glancing back at Spencer, you shrugged almost indeterminably, “Do we have a choice?”

Spencer met your stare before looking back at Emily and Rossi, “Could you guys give us a minute?”

The both of them nodded, switching off the screen before heading out, presumably to begin briefing the remainder of the unit. You listened to the click of the door, waiting for Spencer to say anything.

“I don’t want you in there,” he told you.

You weren’t shocked by his request. When he was released from prison he had wanted to keep you near, going so far as to have you fly with him and your sister to Mount Pleasant because after three months he couldn’t bear to be separated. However, he didn’t want you in the observation room, so you stayed on the sidelines while he spoke with Cat, only hearing bits and pieces after the fact.

Once you nodded, Spencer took a deep breath, “I don’t want her to be able to use you against me. If she even gets the slightest idea that you’re behind the glass… I don’t know what she’ll do.”

Most members of the BAU had their One. The one UnSub that would likely haunt them for the rest of their lives, for Emily it was Ian Doyle, for Rossi it was Tommy Yates, and for Spencer it was Cat. “I’ll stay in the bullpen,” you reassured him, “I won’t leave the building, but I don’t need to listen in.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, pressing a timid kiss to your hairline before looking over to where Emily was waving him over.

Grimly, you followed Spencer out of the roundtable room, armed guards pouring through the elevator, signifying that the eagle had landed. You stopped at the glass doors, nestling yourself behind a wall – you didn’t need to see her, and she didn’t deserve to see you.

“She’s a contract killer?” Matt questioned as Spencer, Emily, and Rossi headed to the interrogation room. The only member of the team who hadn’t been around while Spencer was in Millburn, and the only member of the team with no experience with Cat Adams. In your gut, you felt a tug of envy.

Penelope nodded nervously, “She’s much, much more than that.” Her voice wavered slightly. Garcia had her own issues with Cat Adams, months of living in the BAU had left her worse for wear, but it was the best option while being hunted by a group of hit men.

You watched the members of the team as their eyes followed Cat around the hallway. “She’s a black widow,” JJ clarified for Simmons, “She preys on men she can seduce. She thrives on psychological seduction.” Her words made your stomach flip as you remembered everything she had put Spencer through in Mexico and subsequently prison – it was psychological warfare, and he was being sent into the lion’s den.

Luke nodded along to the narrative, “She has a body count that she’s never confirmed, but it’s believed to be in the hundreds.” Last time you had given tallying them up a chance you had almost reached two hundred, but she was only being criminally charged with seventy-three counts.

“She’s one of the most dangerous criminals we’ve ever arrested,” Tara admitted, “and she is obsessed with Reid.”

The group took a collective breath when Cat was fully in the interrogation room, “He’s the only man to ever outsmart her,” you continued. As much as he hated to admit it, everything she had ever said to Spencer had hit its mark, and you felt like your insides were being shredded at the knowledge that he was in there with her.

You flipped through Cat’s prison records once you were sat at your desk, looking up at any slight moment at the hope that someone might tell you what was going on. The prison records were relatively tame outside of what you already knew about her and Wilkins and her involvement with Lindsay Vaughn, but something you hadn’t thought about was her baby.

Spencer had broken the hard truth to Cat that day in Mount Pleasant, she couldn’t be a good mother. Her psychopathy would make it so that she would grow bored with a baby the same way a child would bore of a doll. You wondered how she viewed her miscarriage. Some psychopaths had the capacity to mourn, but you weren’t sure Cat fell within that demographic.

Her medical record painted a horrifying picture. She had been so far along that the baby had been delivered stillborn. Your stomach flipped at the charts, closing them before moving to the kitchenette to refill your coffee.

On your way, you saw Spencer through the glass doors, changing course so you could catch him before he went back. You veered around the corner, not wanting to call out his name before he turned into an interview room. Lagging behind, you kept yourself hidden, feeling like you were intruding and starting to walk backward, away from him.

Until you heard a crash and a shout, at which point you pivoted and returned to the interview room. A few agents started rubbernecking at the door, trying to see what was going on, “Keep walking,” you ordered them, pointing away from the room.

Inside the room, Spencer had haphazardly discarded his tie on the floor before proceeding to swipe everything off of the bookshelf. He didn’t acknowledge you as you stepped into the room, he just paced, placing his hand on his chest as he tried to self-regulate.

You tried to go around him, wanting to pick up the fallen books before anyone noticed what had happened, but before you could, Spencer grabbed your hand and pulled you into him. Getting over the initial startle, you reached out your arms and wrapped them around him, “I’m right here.”

“I’m struggling,” he admitted to you, holding you tightly against him. His time in prison felt like lifetimes ago at this point, but the way he hugged you reminded you of the day he got out – the last time you had to deal with Cat Adams.

His openness about his feelings helped to ease your own anxiety, and you were able to look up at him and offer a comforting smile, “That’s alright. This isn’t easy.” You kept your eyes on him, readjusting his rumpled collar and messy hair, “Why don’t you go get some water? I’ll take care of this,” you offered, holding your hand up when he tried to protest.

Spencer left without a fight, and you tried to reassemble the books and trinkets in the way they had previously been before wiping your palms on your jeans and walking back into the bullpen.

The team was gathering in the roundtable room, exchanging information and proposing ideas, “The victimology’s off,” Spencer said, gesturing to the screen where the two girls were being displayed.

“How so?” Tara asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing between your fiancé and the screen.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Two young girls. She’s never done anything like this before.”

Agreeing, Tara looked around the table, “She usually targets men that remind her of her father. Children, even adult children are off limits.” She turned to Penelope, “Do we have an ID yet?”

Waving a fuzzy pen in the air, Penelope sighed, “You would think a parent or someone would notice, but there’s nothing coming up in any of my searches.”

“What do we know about the partner who’s been helping her?” Rossi asked no one in particular, looking to anyone who might have an answer.

Matt leaned his elbows over the table, “It’s gotta be someone from her prison. She wasn’t in contact with anyone else. We can start with known associates who were recently released,” he looked to Garcia, who nodded astutely before typing furiously on her laptop.

You spoke up from the doorway, slipping Spencer’s discarded tie into your back pocket, “I have a list going of associates at Mount Pleasant, we can do some comparing and contrasting,” you offered.

“Oh, I do love a good Venn diagram,” Penelope concurred, smiling before scooping up her laptop and making her way back to the lair.

Taking her seat, you uncomfortably sat next to JJ, leaning your knees toward Rossi so that you didn’t accidentally touch her legs. “Okay, can I tell you what’s been bugging me?” Your sister asked rhetorically, “Every time we’ve gone up against Cat, there’s the presenting agenda and the hidden one. If she sticks to pattern, this isn’t just about going on a date with Spencer.”

You considered the idea of her not having a secondary agenda but she had already veered so far off from her usual M.O. that everything else needed to follow the arbitrary rules in her mind.

“Right now, she’s a fixed variable,” Emily counseled, “We need to focus on identifying the UnSub and her victims.”

At that, everyone parted ways except for you and Spencer, you stayed flipping through folders of research you had on Cat Adams, ranging from her time as Miss .45 to her years in Mount Pleasant Women’s Correctional Facility. Spencer stood, hands on the back of your chair as he looked at the pictures being projected on the screen.

Every time Cat Adams came up, each topic you even slightly associated with her resurfaced – Diana’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Mexico, Millburn, and now the two of you were just barely recovering from the fallout of your sister’s truth. You were overwhelmed, and if you were overwhelmed, Spencer had to be on the verge of some kind of breakdown.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered despite the empty room, “Tell me what to do.”

You took a deep breath before turning your head and looking up at him, “I can’t tell you what to do. This is your decision.”

He sighed, lowering himself down in the chair next to you and resting his chin in his hand, “Then don’t tell me what to do, but I would like your input. Your thoughts, feelings,” he amended.

Smiling despite yourself, you looked over at him, “Someone’s paying attention in couple’s therapy,” you said lightly, setting your hand gently on his knee.

“I just need to know if we’re on the same page or if I’m going to mess everything up,” he said, bringing his free hand to where yours rested and threading your fingers together.

You leaned back in the office chair, shrugging slightly before you answered, “I think you should go.”

Spencer frowned, “What?”

“I think you should go on the date with Cat,” you iterated.

Clearly, that wasn’t what he had expected from you, “I don’t- You want me to go on a date with someone else?”

You flipped your file shut before looking back at him, “If I had the liberty to look at this situation as just your fiancé I would, but I’m not just your fiancé. I’m an FBI agent and I’m looking at these girls,” you gestured to the screen, “and I know that our best chance of finding them might just be sending you on a date with Cat.” You took a deep breath, “She always trips up and she always does it with you. It’s your call, at the end of the day, you don’t need to go if it’s not something you want to have to experience, but you asked for my thoughts, so there they are.”

Spencer looked conflicted as he considered his options, “I’ve- We’ve come so far recently. I’d hate to ruin all of that.”

Shaking your head, you smiled at his concern, “Solving the case has to come first this time, love.”

He nodded in agreement, standing up and keeping your hands intertwined, “Come with me,” he encouraged, nearly dragging you over to the interrogation room where Cat was. He opened the door to the observation room and brought you in with him.

You averted your eyes so that you didn’t have to look at her – possibly the only woman you would throttle given the chance – and just waited for Emily, who was getting more details.

Waiting for the door to close behind her, Spencer listened for the click before speaking up, “Well, what are her demands?”

Emily looked exasperated, sharing a look with you before responding, “She wants to go ice skating so she can skate circles around you. She’s wasting our time.”

And her own, you thought, Cat didn’t have much time to make an arrangement with Spencer, eventually, she’d just be sent back to prison. Ice skating would never get approved anyway. No matter how you try to spin it, no one would give her a blade.

The door opened, taking attention away from Cat and onto Penelope, who looked confused and mildly disturbed, “Okay,” she started, “Something weird happened, but it could be a lead. I just got a bazillion voicemail messages, all from the same address on Fourth Street.”

While Tara and Luke checked out the potential lead on Fourth, you stayed sat at your desk, listening carefully to the bustling office around you. Up in Emily’s office, you heard your sister and Simmons updating your unit chief, “We found the UnSub, her name is Juliette Weaver – it took the prison all of five minutes to identify her.”

You filtered through your file in front of you, looking for the information you had on Weaver while Matt continued speaking, “She was Cat’s old cellmate. Released from prison six months ago, off the grid a week ago.”

“What was she in for?” Rossi asked and you wondered if they knew how well voices carried into the bullpen.

Matt cleared his throat before responding, “Low-level possession, she took the rap for her boyfriend, but according to the warden, she’d follow Cat around like a puppy dog.”

Your unit chief hummed thoughtfully, “Easily manipulated. So, Cat groomed her, got her to take orders.” Much like she had done with Lindsey Vaughn, convincing her to destroy Spencer’s life – you wondered if Juliette considered Cat her lover too.

“It goes deeper than that,” JJ interjected, “Cat and Juliette have something in common.”

“Juliette’s dad killed her mom in a domestic dispute. Then he fled and was never caught,” Matt resumed, surprising you.

As you imagined the surprise on Emily’s face, she responded, “That’s exactly what happened with Cat’s parents.”

You watched them in the office as Matt set something down on Emily’s desk, “Yeah, so we did a little digging into Susan. We thought that she might’ve been Juliette’s mom, but she’s not.”

“She’s Cat’s,” Rossi realized.

Matt hummed in confirmation, “Susan Adams, unidentified cold case from 1987. She was found floating in the water on the Potomac. Thanks to that picture, the case isn’t cold anymore.”

Turning your attention back to the information you had on Cat’s former cellmates, you looked over Juliette’s personal information. There wasn’t much on her, but there were some details about her family – including two younger sisters. You would likely need Garcia to confirm it for you, but you had a good feeling that the two girls being held captive were Juliette’s sisters. If that was Juliette’s stake in this, you were no closer to figuring out what Cat’s endgame was.

Looking up at your computer, you thought about the first time Spencer and Cat had gone head-to-head. It had been almost four years to the date. You frowned at your monitor, “It’s an anniversary,” you whispered to no one in particular.

“What was that?” Luke asked from his desk, adjusting his Kevlar vest as he prepared to be the chaperone for the date.

Double-checking the dates, you turned to face him as you clarified, “Four years, almost to the date of the day Spencer arrested Cat.”

Luke nodded in understanding, “That’s why she chose now to act. It wasn’t just that she was running out of time, this was the perfect time for her to get into Reid’s mind.”

Scoffing, you gathered up your papers and walked up to Emily’s office, if Cat wanted to meddle, fine, but you could play her game too.

Four years, you thought to yourself. Spencer had been on family leave for months, and taking down Cat was his first case back. You wish you had known back then how much that case would affect the next four years of his life.

The team gathered when it was time, the remaining eight standing outside of the glass doors to the unit and watching and Spencer and Cat strolled through the hallway. She had been cleaned up, some poor agent sent out to find a date-appropriate outfit for her, and she was holding onto Spencer like he was a prize she had won at a fair.

Spencer’s face was blank. No, worse than that, he was completely absent. Separating himself from what was going on with Cat. It horrified you, every time you saw Spencer retreat into himself it made you sick to your stomach. You were grateful Luke was going with them, he was someone Spencer trusted to make the right calls.

For the first time that day, you and Cat locked eyes, glaring at each other in a battle of wills, “Don’t wait up,” she called out to you, winking before the heavy elevator doors slid shut.

Slowly, your group dispersed, going back to trying to figure out Cat and Juliette’s endgame. You looked at your files, but you couldn’t focus, you could barely breathe. Spencer would be safe. He was smart enough to evade anything Cat threw at him, but she seemed to chip at him every time they saw each other.

You swung in your office chair, trying to form an even semi-helpful thought as your sister came up to your desk, “Hey.”

Peeling your eyes away from the folders, you looked up at her, “Hi,” you responded, slightly confused.

JJ sat on the edge of your desk, crossing her ankles so her legs didn’t dangle, and she looked at you, blonde hair curtained around her face.

There wasn’t much for you to do until the date started and Spencer could fish for answers with Cat, but even so, you weren’t interested in holding a staring contest with your sister. “Did you need anything?” You felt like it was a gentle enough question, there was no reason for you to bring your hostile family relationship to work with you. Everyone knew there was something happening between the two of you, but no one knew precisely what it was.

Her eyebrows creased briefly, “I thought we could talk, just for a minute.”

You unceremoniously dropped your pen on your desk, leaning back and looking at your sister incredulously, “Kind of shit timing, don’t you think?”

“I invited you for dinner last night and you didn’t show up. Every time I come up to you at work you start a conversation with someone else,” she tried to explain herself.

It was exactly as she thought – you were avoiding her. You had no interest in repairing your familial tie, your thread of gold had frayed beyond repair. “I was busy last night, I told you I wouldn’t be able to make it. You’re the one who didn’t believe me.”

She sighed defeatedly, “Thursdays used to be your best night. You’d always come for dinner on Thursday nights like clockwork, are you telling me that changed overnight?”

You bit your tongue, but it wasn’t that you were trying to stop yourself from sniping at her, you were trying to stop yourself from telling her where you were last night. Thursday evening was your weekly couples counseling appointment and your sister didn’t need to be privy to the inner workings of your relationship. Besides that, none of this had been overnight – you hadn’t been over for dinner in months now.

For every single milestone that you reached with Spencer, JJ was the first person you told, but when you got engaged, she found out the news secondhand through Penelope. You knew you had hurt her. Maybe it wasn’t the same as her love confession, but you hurt her, and you couldn’t bring yourself to apologize. You weren’t entirely sure if you should apologize.

“I’m telling you that I didn’t snub you on dinner, JJ. I was busy, I couldn’t come,” you told her, keeping your tone level as you looked up at her.

Her expression soured, “How long are you going to be mad at me?”

Forever, if you could help it, but you couldn’t tell her that. Despite your anger, despite the sadness that thinking too hard about all of this brought you, you knew that you weren’t capable of holding your sister at arm’s length for the rest of your life. “JJ, I’m not-“ you cut yourself off. “When I found out that you were in love with Spencer, I promised myself that I wouldn’t hold it against you,” you lowered your voice, conscious of the bustling bullpen around you. “I’ve kept that promise. I can’t blame you for loving him when I know everything he has ever done that makes him loveable. I love him too. So, in whatever convoluted way you want to look at it, I understand where you’re coming from.”

She nodded in what seemed like agreement, “Ducky, I’ve known him for fifteen years, I couldn’t-“

“You see,” you interrupted her, “That’s where my understanding runs out. Just because you’ve known him longer doesn’t give you the right to come into our relationship and fuck everything up. Yes, Jennifer, you’ve known him for fifteen years, but you rejected him. You rejected him and ended up with someone else. Thirteen years after meeting Will, you told Spencer you were in love with him. Do you know how wrong that is?”

JJ’s shoulders slumped forward, “Yes, but-“

You held up your hand, stopping her from speaking, “No, JJ. There’s no ‘but’. What you did was wrong. You can try to justify it to me in whatever way you want, but what you did will always be wrong. It will always affect our relationship. Your love for Spencer is the ghost haunting our house and there are no Ouija boards in the world that can translate for me,” You cringed at your figure of speech, but you went along with it anyway.

“You’re engaged, so there’s obviously a way through this for the two of you,” she tried to argue, but you could tell her heart wasn’t in it.

Pausing, you picked at the dry skin around your nails, “Spencer and I had a really long and exhaustive talk a few weeks ago.”

She raised her eyebrows, “I know, I read the police blotter.”

You rolled your eyes, that hadn’t been a fun talk with Emily, but at least she prevented your dispute from reaching HR. “Yeah, we had a loud talk. We figured things out. We’re still figuring things out, but we decided that we’d rather do that together than apart.”

“I helped him pick the ring,” she confessed. “About a year ago and I thought… I thought he’d tell me before asking.”

Instinctively, your eyes flicked down to your left hand, “For what it’s worth, it was all very spur of the moment.”

JJ shook her head, “Why are you trying to comfort me right now?”

“God, JJ. I might be pissed at you, but you’re still my sister,” you snapped at her. “While I might want to, I can’t just cut you out of my life and I can’t stop myself from caring about you. If you want to work on our relationship, owning up to your mistakes is a good start. Spencer came clean to me and now we’re engaged, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this was broken in the first place. You don’t get to brush this under the rug.”

“You wouldn’t let me brush it under the rug anyway,” she retorted.

Your head snapped up to her, “Is that what you want? To forget any of this ever happened?”

She was quiet for a while before responding, “Yes.”

You pressed your lips together and studied her briefly, “Well, I can’t give you that.”

JJ opened her mouth like she wanted to say something else, but Emily beat her to it, calling out to you from the doorway of her office, “Do you have a second?”

The ceiling of your apartment was only interesting for a limited amount of time. You’d spent years in the apartment, tracing the patterns with your eyes just felt redundant now.

Emily had benched you. She disguised it as giving you the rest of the night off, but you were effectively taken off the case. She couldn’t claim it was a conflict of interest, everyone on the team had a conflict of interest with Cat Adams, but that’s what she thought it was.

You sat down on the couch, drumming your fingers on your denim-clad thigh while you waited for a phone call – you’d even take a text message.

Wallowing in your own boredom, you listened to the sounds of the city. Where the two of you lived, it was hectic during the day and became more manageable at night, but it was still the city. Cars drove by, sirens wailed, people chatted along the sidewalk, and people spoke in the hallway.

No, actually, people talking in your hallway was abnormal. Sitting up, you looked at the front door, considering going to snoop in on your neighbor’s conversation.

You didn’t even have the time to decide before the door opened, revealing Spencer and Cat in the middle of what seemed like a rather intense kiss.

He pulled away, looking into the apartment and seeming surprised to see you.

Standing up, your arms dangled limply at your sides, “Oh, Spence.”

Holding up a finger, he silently begged you to wait. You couldn’t hear anything that came out of his mouth, everything was muffled as you fought back the tears that were burning your eyes.

You didn’t talk again until Cat spoke to you. “What?”

She laughed slightly and you could hear your heart pounding, “Did it make you mad when I kissed your fiancé?”

You hated her. Your mother would tell you that hate is a strong word, and you still didn’t care, you hated her. “No,” you lied through your teeth.

Innocently, her eyebrows raised, “Why not?”

Four years. Four years of her haunting Spencer. You thought back to that first meeting at the restaurant and responded, “No offense, but you’re not really worth getting mad at.”

Her eyes lit up and even though you knew better, you were proud of yourself for striking a nerve. With a psychopath, that was a dangerous game. Before long, she meandered around the furniture in your home and sat in the reading chair, she looked at you, “Oh, sweetheart, we have so much to talk about. I’m so glad Spencie finally decided to introduce us.”

Anxiously, your eyes flicked over to Spencer’s. Worse than your own anxiety, he looked angry, an uncommon expression for him to wear. “It’s nice to have a real conversation with you,” you gratified her.

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight I want you both here to make a point,” she watched Spencer as the two of you waited for the ball to drop. “You could do so much better, because girl,” she turned to look at you, “You need to know the truth about him.”

Pinching your brows together, you looked at Cat, “What are you talking about?”

She smiled to herself, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder, “He told me that no matter what, he can’t get me out of his mind.”

“Everything I said to her tonight was a lie,” Spencer interjected, doing damage control on your relationship while Cat tried to take it apart.

Cat scoffed, “Did our kiss look like a lie?”

There was a time when Spencer was under the impression that he had been sexually assaulted by Cat in Mexico, and during that time, you were afraid of him hurting himself. You were in the lion’s den with him now and you had to rely on your gut. He wouldn’t kiss her unless it was his last resort. He wouldn’t do that to himself. He wouldn’t do that to you. Still, you forced yourself to look at him and answer her question, “No.”

“Thank you, now we’re getting to the heart of the matter,” she resumed smugly, obviously pleased with your response and she stood up, putting her hands on everything around the apartment. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is- is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who uh, always saves the day and has all the answers and has… zero mommy issues, right?” She pointedly tipped over a photo of Diana before she continued flouncing around the apartment, “But um, I know the real him.”

Spencer looked at her incredulously and you wished you could hear what he was thinking at that moment, “Yeah? Who’s the real me, Cat?”

She cocked her head at you, the faux pity in her eyes made you nauseous, “The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls and hisses that he’s going to kill them.”

He faltered and you knew she had hit her mark, “That was a very different situation.”

“Was it?” She challenged, looking at him for a rebuttal, but the vacant look was coming back to his eyes.

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you met his eyes, “What is she talking about?”

You had been in Mount Pleasant that day. For all of the things she knew about, she didn’t know that you had been there, and you could use that against her, but you’d likely hurt Spencer in the process.

“You tell her,” Cat insisted, “She’s not gonna believe it coming from me.” With a flourish, she sat back down in the chair, crossing her legs as she watched her entertainment for the night.

Spencer pursed his lips, leaning forward as his eyes flicked between the two of you, “Just like tonight, she got under my skin and-“

“You threw her against a wall,” you finished, displaying your comprehension of the story to Cat and reminding Spencer that you already knew.

Cat stood back up, dragging a hand along your shoulders, sending goosebumps sprawling across your skin. “Don’t skimp on the details, Spencie,” she goaded him. “She deserves to know everything.”

The terrible feeling you’d had all day worsened as you realized where she was going with this. It was the natural continuation of the story for her even if it wasn’t the truth.

“She was pregnant at the time, and I knew that when I hurt her,” Spencer admitted, the shame he felt emanating from him in waves.

You’re not like that, baby. You’re not a violent person, you remembered telling him. You wanted to tell him that now, but she’d never let you.

Cat looked at you, a devilish glint in her eye as she rounded out her fabrication, “And the next day I miscarried. The end.”

Your breathing hitched as you saw Spencer retreat completely into himself, “What? That’s not true.”

Her head snapped over to him, “It most certainly is true, check my medical records.”

“That doesn’t- I would-“ He stuttered, but it was too late.

“Stop,” she interjected, nodding her head in your direction, “Look.”

You were choking on the truth. You wanted to scream at her and simultaneously tell Spencer that she was lying to him. The words weren’t coming out, the only thing you had were tears. They were streaming down your face as you looked at nobody and nothing, sitting on your hands.

No one said anything for a while before Spencer sat down, keeping his distance from you, “I’m sorry.”

“Notice how your fiancé is apologizing to you and not me,” Cat instructed you, you peered up at her through wet eyelashes. “Men are all the same, aren’t they Ducky?”

Spencer jumped to your defense as you blanched at the nickname, “Don’t call her that,” he snapped.

Cat inclined her head toward him, “What, are you going to throw me up against the wall and choke me or do you only do that to pregnant women?”

Of all of the things for Cat to know about you, your childhood nickname wasn’t what you expected. You looked at her and met her eyes through your bleary ones, “Why are you doing this?”

You regretted the question as soon as you asked it, but you couldn’t take it back now, “Because I want you to see it,” she explained. “I want you to see that he is no better than all the men you chase. All the men who have hurt you before.”

“Stop,” you pleaded, staring at the floor in front of you.

Cat crouched next to you, forcing you to look her in the eyes, “I can see it in your face. Why did you flinch when I used your nickname?”

Your nostrils flared, “It’s none of your business,” you insisted.

She laughed at your attempted assertion, “Oh, but it is. In fact, it’s my specialty. Is he nearby? I could send Juliette over to say hi,” she offered.

“Say yes,” Spencer interjected, “Give her what she wants.”

Glaring at him, Cat waved him off, “He wants you to get me to make a phone call so they can trace it. You’re so good, the BAU.”

You shook your head helplessly, “I never wanted to be involved in this sick, twisted game between the two of you.” Even still, you had never been given the choice. Emily sent you home under the guise of waiting out the date only for it to be a trap.

Cat mock-pouted, “Tell me your story, Ducky, and I promise I will give Juliette a call and those two girls will be safe and sound.”

And that was the end of it. You couldn’t let your cowardice cost those girls their lives – or whatever Cat had planned for them.

“Come on, little duck,” she prodded at you, “It’s story time.”

Spencer shook his head, “Y/N, it’s a trap.”

Scoffing, Cat sat next to you, “It is so tricky, isn’t it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath… or me?”

Desperately, you looked up at Spencer and his face fell as he realized what you were doing. “My sister gave it to me,” you told her.

Impishly, she smiled, “Jennifer?”

“No,” you answered, “Roslyn, and don’t interrupt.” You frowned, piling your hands in your lap as you searched for the story. “I don’t remember it, but when I was learning how to walk I… waddled. So, when I would walk around Roz would follow me and make duck sounds, and I would mimic her. She started calling me Ducky after that and it just stuck.”

She smiled at you knowingly, “That is so sweet. How could you hate such a heartfelt nickname from your dearly departed sister?”

You shook your head, “I don’t hate it,” you insisted.

Cat cocked her head at you, “Tell me,” she goaded. “Tell me or I ruin her life.”

Quickly, you looked up at Spencer and made sure he caught the slip up too. The two of you shared a suspicious look before you continued, “My parents put me in school early, I started kindergarten when I was four and I learned early that kids were cruel. They would follow me around and quack,” you laughed despite yourself, what had seemed heinous as a child would barely make you spare a glance as an adult. “One day, we were doing a class craft, and they put glue and feathers on my seat so they stuck to my skirt when I stood up,” you told her, recalling the way your poor mother had to leave work to help you pick feathers from your skirt.

Next to you, Cat lifted a hand to her mouth, fake yawning as she waited for you to get to the man of it all.

“When she got home, I yelled at Roslyn,” You’d spiraled about this so many times in adulthood that you were surprised it had any effect on you anymore. “I told her I hated her. I told her she was a bad sister, and I wanted her to go away,” you admitted, fighting off tears again. “She skipped dinner that night and the next morning she… JJ found her. In the bathroom. She had slit her wrists with our father’s razor blade.”

Spencer’s brown eyes bore into you, reflecting the same sadness that you were sure was on your own face, “You were only four, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, you certainly didn’t help,” Cat snarked.

“Cat,” Spencer snapped.

Frustrated, you wiped under your eyes, “My dad blamed me. He told me he would give me up if it meant she would come back, and he’s maintained that sentiment ever since.” You knew now that there were other things Roslyn had been struggling with at the time, but part of you would always have the nagging feeling that you had a role in your sister’s suicide.

“So, you understand me,” she said matter-of-factly.

Confused, you lifted your head to look at her, “What?”

She scooted closer to you, “You understand why I’ve killed all of them. Those men,” she clarified.”

You looked at her, “No, Cat, I don’t understand you. I hate my dad, but I don’t want to kill him. I don’t prey on the deaths of the people that I hate, and that’s the difference between me and you. I want my dad to have to live with the fact that he’s a horrible person. I want him to live with what he did to me, to my family.”

Cat narrowed her eyes at you, “And he didn’t even visit you after you got shot.”

Out of guilt, you had assumed. His guilty conscience was the only thing that kept him away. After all, almost thirty years of telling you that it should’ve been you, the universe almost came through for him. “Give me the location,” you said, holding her to her end of the bargain.

Groaning, she held out her hand for your phone so she could put the location into your map. Once you had what you needed, you started making your way out, hearing her call after you, “Keep your head above water, Ducky!”

You kept moving, your feet moving beneath you even though your heart wanted to drop to the floor, you charged out the door, ignoring Emily as she tried to comfort you. Luke followed you out of the apartment building, neither of you speaking until you handed your phone to Luke, showing him the location. “Stay here, I’ll call the team and get them to meet here,” he told you, lifting your phone to let you know he was taking it with him.

Trailing behind him anyway, you got into the passenger seat of the SUV, “I have to go, Luke. It’s… I’ll be fine.”

He wasn’t entirely convinced, but Luke generally wasn’t one to argue with you. “Okay, but I’m still calling for backup.”

It wasn’t a far drive, in fact, months ago this bridge had been a regular stopping point when you went on walks, but as soon as you stepped out of the car and heard the water running below you, you froze.

There were flashing lights all around you, and the only thing you could do was watch as Juliette held onto the older of her two sisters at the edge of the bridge. The younger girl was calling out for her sister. Vaguely, you heard Matt trying to talk Juliette into letting them go.

The little girl screamed as Juliette shoved her sister off of the bridge, putting her hands up once the crime had been committed. Luke called for search and rescue through his comm, and you watched the little girl, just as old as JJ when Roslyn passed away.

Keep your head above water.

You didn’t remember much about Roslyn’s funeral, it was mostly JJ straightening your dress and fiddling with her necklace, but that singular event had changed the entire course of your life.

The screaming continued even as you ran to the edge of the bridge, not garnering anyone’s attention until it was too late, and Luke shouted your name as you dove off of the platform.

Afterward, the first thing you would remember was the pain. You absorbed the shock of hitting the water through your arms, causing strain on both of them. The darkness of the water was just as you imagined it would be. That is, until you rose to the surface, met with dozens of flashlights shining down on you.

People called your name, but you just looked around the water, listening for splashing as you hoped to find Juliette’s sister.

There was a gasp behind you, the both of you treading as best you could, but the water was cold, and she slipped under. Impulsivity was never your strong suit, so you hadn’t really considered the way your hands would go numb until you put an arm around her waist, trying to keep her head above the water.

“Y/N!” Matt called from the riverbed, shining his flashlight over at you while you tried to support the girl. It wasn’t easy, you ducked your head under the water and pushed her up, the darkness of the water threatening to swallow you whole.

Hoisting her up, you felt your teammates pull her from the water and sighed, forgetting where you were.

You gagged on the water before reaching up your arms, letting yourself be pulled out. The shock of the air on your lungs was nearly as bad as that of the water, but as you coughed up water on the dirt, you heard the girl start coughing as well.

Her body would have been dumped right where Cat’s mother had been found, and that little girl would have lost her big sister, just like you did. It was the only thing you could think of as you were brought back to the BAU because Emily was insistent on debriefing.

“You dove into the water?” Emily asked before ordering one of the desk agents to go find something for you to change into.

Your wet clothes clung pathetically to your skin as you nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

Luke smiled next to you, “It was pretty impressive, actually.”

“It’s reckless is what it is,” Emily said, studying your damp state, “Go up to my office and turn the space heater, we need to thaw you.”

Rolling your eyes, you walked up to Emily’s office and opened the door, turning the knob on the space heater before sitting on the little couch in her office. Placing your ring on the coffee table to dry, you wrapped your arms around yourself. You waited for the desk agent to return with clothes and instead were surprised when your sister came through the doorway with a pile of clothes in hand. “Hey,” she said, lifting the clothes, “Fresh from the Academy laundry.”

She closed the blinds as you stripped down to your tank top, pulling the sweatshirt over your head before swapping out your pants as well.

“How do you feel?” She asked gently, standing across from you hesitantly.

You looked down at your new clothes, “I feel like FBI Academy propaganda,” you responded, sitting back down on the couch.

Raising her eyebrows, she looked at you intently, “I meant after… everything tonight.”

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you looked up at your sister, “It never had anything to do with Spencer,” you whispered.

She pursed her lips before sitting next to you, “Well, it’s always Cat’s goal to get under Spencer’s skin. She just chose to use you to do it this time.”

You would probably never know how Cat managed to know so much about you. Honestly, you probably didn’t want to know. This time next week, Cat Adams would be dead, and that would just have to be enough for you.

“I can’t believe you jumped into the river,” JJ said in disbelief, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

Shyly, you shrugged at her, “I saw a little girl about to lose her big sister and I couldn’t let her go through that kind of pain.”

Your sister nodded in understanding, “She was eleven?”

You nodded slowly, “And her sister was seventeen,” you whispered.

Part of you felt like you had been staring at an alternate universe all evening. “So,” JJ said, moving the conversation, “Spencer’s on his way back. He’ll probably want to talk to you, clear some things up.”

“Will you sit with me until he does?” You asked softly, afraid of her sniping back about forgiveness, but she didn’t. That wasn’t the way JJ worked, she just nodded, leaning back against the cushions and letting you rest your head on her shoulder.

She didn’t get up and leave until Spencer arrived, she went to meet him in the bullpen, and you waited for the moment someone told him where you were. There was a sensation you had never experienced before, but you felt so separate from your own actions. Despite your still wet hair, you barely remembered diving into the water.

You sensed another psychological evaluation in your future.

The rotating heater warmed you in waves as you listened to your team. They filled Spencer in on everything that had happened tonight, from Juliette’s sisters to Cat’s real plan. “She…” Spencer stammered, “She told me Y/N had a big decision to make tonight. Where is she?”

Blankly, you stared ahead at the heater, wondering what they’d tell him and what they’d save for you. “Well, she may have jumped into the Potomac,” Matt told him tentatively, his voice was gentle as he dropped the bomb.

“She dove actually,” Luke corrected, and you imagined him being proud of his redress.

Emily cleared her throat, ever the mediator, and finally answered Spencer’s question, “She’s up in my office getting warm.”

There were no more questions after that, but you recognized the footsteps as Spencer approached the office. His knock was timid, but he didn’t wait for you to respond before opening the door.

His hair was awry, you supposed yours didn’t look much better, and his breathing was uneven. A symptom, you assumed, of finding out you had jumped into the fourth largest river on the Atlantic coast. “Hi,” you waved nervously.

At the same time, he spoke, “I’m so sorry.”

There was no use in pussyfooting around, “Did you want to talk now, then?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly, “I can’t… I’m so tired of things looming over our heads.”

You sighed, folding your hands in your lap, “That cumulonimbus has been there for quite some time, hasn’t it?”

“I just cheated on you and you’re making cloud jokes?” Spencer asked in disbelief. At some point in the night, he had lost his jacket, leaving him in a rumpled dress shirt.

Turning to stone, you paused. Maybe it was the Potomac water that you had ingested, maybe it was the other events of the evening, but you had brushed off the kiss between him and Cat nearly immediately. “I guess I didn’t really think of it that way,” you admitted.

He leaned back on Emily’s desk, “All of these problems we’ve been having, and we were just beginning to make headway. I went and ruined it.”

Raising your eyebrows, you looked at Spencer quizzically, “Okay, well, now you’re catastrophizing.”

“I made a choice years ago that resulted in you facing one of your biggest fears tonight, you’re shaking, and your clothes are in a sopping pile on the ground,” he explained as if you weren’t well aware. “I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.”

“I think you just had a shitty night spent with a woman who has a knack for convincing you you’re evil, so you’re telling me how evil you are right now,” you responded, leaning back on the couch cushions. “You’re not evil and you’re barely a cheater,” you told him, “I’d love to lay out all of the evidence for you, but I’m exhausted and I’d rather we just go home.”

One look at Spencer told you that you weren’t going to be getting what you wanted tonight, the histrionics of your evening weren’t over. “I made you cry,” he said meekly. He said it like it was the worst thing he could ever do to you.

“I’m the one who told you to go! I might not be a genius, but I’m smart enough to have considered the fact that Cat would try to make a move.” Groaning, you covered your face with your arms, “Spencer, Cat made me cry. I had to sit back and watch her manipulate you into believing you caused her miscarriage.”

“You knew?” He breathed.

You nodded, dropping your arms and looking at him miserably, “Yes, I knew the truth, and it killed me to not be able to tell you.”

Waiting for him to respond was agonizing. You desperately wanted to apologize for not telling him as soon as you found out about Cat’s baby, but you didn’t think it was important information at the time.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Spencer finally spoke. “I thought… I couldn’t handle it if you thought that I’d-“

Quickly, you shook your head and waved your hands, “No, Spence. I knew the truth from the get-go.”

He was quiet, shuffling his feet on the carpet before he looked up at you. He opened his mouth to speak but second-guessed himself before sealing his lips and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Watching you for a moment, he spoke, “Do you remember when you asked me what my truth would’ve been? If Pinkner had asked me instead of JJ?”

“We should go to bed.”

“Wait, what’s your truth?”

“My truth is that I’m tired, we should go to sleep.”

Part of you wanted to ask if he wanted to do this now, after the day the two of you had, you’d be perfectly content with going home and leaving this conversation for tomorrow. Instead, you nodded, “Yes, you ignored it.”

Spencer chuckled nervously, “You had been spending weeks looking for a reason to pick a fight with me. I didn’t think you would accept my answer for what it was.”

“The truth,” you drew your own conclusion, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

Slowly, he knelt on the ground in front of you, “You were looking for me to tell you that I shared JJ’s feelings. You wanted me to say that you were my second choice, but that has never, ever been my truth. It never has been.”

Swallowing thickly, you reached your hands out and took his in yours, gently skimming the pads of your thumbs over the back of his hands, “Spencer, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he whispered.

“What’s your truth?” You asked him softly, approaching the topic like a deer in the woods.

He looked down at your intertwined hands, noting the fact that you had taken your ring off before he responded, “I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to the expectations of others. I went to Caltech, then MIT, and then I was recruited to the BAU. Through all that, I was under the impression that I was letting people down.”

This was a familiar conversation to you. You once spent hours talking him off of a metaphorical ledge because he hadn’t cured schizophrenia.

“I’m not the perfect son, who sent his mother away a week after turning eighteen,” an action that had almost gotten him killed. “I’m not a perfect agent and I’m not a perfect friend because the expectations set for me are too high, but I’m not a perfect boyfriend or fiancé either. It’s not because you hold me to a certain standard, it’s because I failed you.”

Your eyes widened at his admission, “Spencer, no, you didn’t.” Your chest ached at the thought of this living in his head. He had been living while paralyzed by the weight of the expectations of others when he just wanted one thing - to feel normal.

He waved you off, “Do you remember what you asked me? On that date in the shooting range?”

Seven years ago, shortly after Emily left for Interpol, you and Spencer had an impromptu date at the shooting range. “I asked you not to break my heart.”

“And I have, haven’t I? Time and time again,” he asked rhetorically, not looking for an answer even when you wanted to prove him wrong. “You’ve watched me get shot, you’ve seen me in handcuffs, beaten, kidnapped, fired – and you’ve never wavered. You have loved me through it all, and I haven’t reciprocated fairly. I had never known unconditional love, and I think you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to it. I get put on this pedestal by everyone I meet and you’re the only person who has ever made me feel average. I know average is usually used with a negative connotation, but in this case, I mean it positively. You don’t have outlandish requests from me, all you’ve ever asked for is love, and I… I’m never going to be able to verbalize how much that means to me. How much you mean to me.”

“Spencer,” you tried to interject.

His eyes met yours, his brown irises slightly bleary as he looked at you intently, “I am so sorry. I’m sorry about your sister and I’m sorry about kissing Cat and I’m sorry about all of the ways I have broken your heart and if you… if this is where you need to call it, then I completely understand.”

“Spencer,” you echoed.

He tilted his head to the side, “What?”

You raised your eyebrows, “My ring is over there, on the coffee table, will you put it back on for me?”

“Do you mean it?” He asked, reaching behind him for the ring without waiting for your answer.

Holding out your left hand, you nodded, “There have been a lot of wrongs – from the both of us, but I don’t… I can’t hold the JJ thing against you anymore. You’re verifiably a genius. So, if you tell me that the only thing that would’ve pleased Cat is kissing her, then I’ll believe you. I trust you, and if I lose that, then I lose myself.”

He seemingly thought about it for a moment before responding, “It was the only thing I could think of, and I promise I will make this up to you.”

Smiling softly, you flexed your fingers once he slid the ring back on, relishing the feel of the metal on your finger. “Then it’s a good thing you’re only getting married once, it gives you a lot of time to make it up to me.”

“Did you have any ideas?” He asked a little too eagerly.

You beamed, “Oh, I have a few.”  

taglist: @football1921 @thedancingnerdmermaid @dollarstore-lydia-deetz @cillsnostalgia @alivesarcastically

@hellsingalucard18 @poetoflawed @lillysfrogsandbogs @mega-kittyglitter-1 @sndixz

@k-corbett @nott-my-riddle @guiltyyassin @starkeyellow @rainydayathogwarts

@roblino @awildfirestarting @getawaycarsficrecs @syd-maximoff @melodyflowersblog

@stargirlls-world @ovando13 @cxtherine

[gorejo]

hi ae! so much forbes gojo talk on your blog lately i love it!! can we “slam” his car door when getting out to catch his reaction

suggestive. unedited. making out in the car - forbes30!gojo

"toru —" you stopped him from reversing, the warmth of your palm squeezing against the back of his hand felt hypnotizing as he curiously looked over at you. "— I forgot to get something, give me a minute!"

"sure baby —" slam!

the shock of his door slamming shut was only but a minor inconvenience to him. it was quickly dismissed from his mind because his eyes immediately fixated on your plush bum — round and so cute as you lightly sped walked.

god you were so perfect.

but it wasn't until possibly the third time he's noticed you slamming his door, that he decided to reverse the cards before you'd play the prank on him again. it wasn't that he particularly cared you slammed his door, he rather wished you'd make better decisions.

and he was more than willing to teach you.

so just when you were about to leave, with your finger wrapped around the door handle, expectant that finally, he'll say something after pranking him for the third time, "Satoru let me —"

You felt his large hand wrap behind your neck, fastidiously pulling you away from the door and onto something familiar — his soft lips. the warmth of his tongue rudely imposed its authority as he pressed the kiss deeper and deeper.

the coil in your stomach started to feel tight as the burning fire in between your legs started to fume. his kisses felt tender and deep, tracing the outline of your lips with the tip of his tongue as you breathed each other in, occasionally leaving open mouth kisses to smother you in his love.

like second nature, you couldn't help but reach out and pull yourself onto his lap, straddling his waist as usual as you melted in his tender embrace. it wasn't abnormal of Satoru to create time for a quick session in the car before making it to a dinner reservation — hell, it happened more often than not.

but strangely, this time, he didn't invite you to come over for more.

but instead you were met with a small chuckle, his minty breath fanning against your heated cheeks as he briefly ended the kiss with a tug to your lips. his cerulean eyes were playful and his voice oozed with leisure, despite the obvious bulge in his slacks.

"—toru," you whined out, only to be met with his deep chuckle — the one where it hit at your core, a familiar sound that resonated through your mind that he wasn't playing.

"if you're going to slam anything," his lips trailed kisses along your jaw, almost threatening as he allowed you to feel his hot breath on your skin. and cupping your face with one hand to squeeze your cheeks, your lips forming a sweet O, while the other held your wrist to venture down to his bulging crotch — angry and very impatient to be let out.

"next time use my lips instead of the door, cutie." his large hand made you squeeze it, evoking a lowly growl from deep within his chest from the pleasure as he pressed forward to fervently kiss you again, pushing you against your seat as he moved his way over to your side — all 190 cm of him skillfully settled in position between your thighs.

"you'll get a better reaction from me."

[my-castles-crumbling]

intelligence - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 155

"I- are you serious?" James stuttered, looking at Regulus like he was quite sure a prank was being pulled.

Regulus, however, just shot him a warning look, as if daring him to make the usual joke. "Just...humor me," he mumbled, looking back down at his feet.

"Regulus."

James moved forward, framing the shorter man's face with his hands and pressing kisses down his jaw softly, lingering on the spot that he knew drove him crazy. For a man oozing intelligence, Regulus could be so thick, sometimes.

"Just because I said Ryan Reynolds is fit does not mean I'm leaving you. For anyone," James whispered, grazing his lips over Regulus's.

"But you said you liked his arse!" Regulus frowned, blinking petulantly.

"Regulus. Darling. Baby. My perfect husband. Trust me when I tell you I love your arse much more," James laughed.

And at this, Regulus cracked a smile, allowing James to pull him into an embrace.

[lale-txt]

❉ painting your nails for you ↳ w/ Gojo, Geto, Sukuna & Naoya

a/n: reader is gn! inspired by nothing but me being very tired of doing my own nails (｡T ω T｡)

word count: 1k

❦ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

for someone who is naturally good at everything he tries, Gojo’s brows are deeply furrowed as he concentrates on the task in front of him: you, your hand resting on his knee, the open nail polish bottle between Gojo’s fingers

you baited him with something sweet in return for this favor (though you both know he would have done it without it, too. he’d do anything for you.)

Gojo will ramble nonstop to you while he paints your nails; stories about his students, or how he pranked poor Nanami once again, or that crepe shop he really wants to try out with you soon

he’s really just glad to spend time with you and doing something for you, knowing it’ll bring a smile to your face and make you think about him

every now and then he’ll look up from your hands in his, bright blue eyes catching your attention, silently begging for a smile or some praise from your pretty lips (he’ll take a kiss without hesitation, too)

the paint is a little messy, some spilled color on his fingertips too, but he did a pretty good job for his first attempt and he’s proud of himself and hopes you are, too

“you know, you could have just said that you wanted an excuse to hold hands,” he teases but he’s not complaining, not when your hand fit so perfectly in his

you gotta paint his nails in return too though, because it’ll look cute in the photos you’ll take together on your next ice cream date

❦ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

if gracefulness was a person, it would be embodied by Geto 

the way he tucks the loose strand of hair behind his ear before he leans over the table where your hand rests, the slight curve of his lips when he smiles at you, the warmth oozing from his fingertips when he touches your hand

“that color is my favorite one on you,” he says in quiet admiration, knowing he was the one who picked it out for you a little while ago 

Geto paints your nails with a love for detail, taking his sweet time because it means he gets to spend precious minutes of your day together 

“actually, i think you should come sit here,” he smiles once he’s done with one hand and pats his lap, waiting till you sit down comfortably with your back resting against his broad frame 

a few kisses on the side of your neck before he rests his chin on your shoulder, now focusing his attention to your other hand to carefully paint your nails 

you feel the soft chuckles in his chest when he notices the slight raise of your heart rate from being this close to him

how awful that you’re gonna have to stay in his lap for plenty of time until your nail polish dries up, and even after that he’ll apply one or two layers of top coat “just to be sure”, a foul excuse to forget the world outside for a little while when he has everything he needs right here in his arms

❦ 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

four arms and hands to help you with, how efficient!

Sukuna merely raises an eyebrow when you ask him for help, knowing you’re perfectly capable of painting your nails yourself, but he certainly enjoys the feeling of you being in need of him

he’s painting your nails black to match his, no questions asked

“so fucking tiny,” he mumbles under his breath while taking your hand in his to keep it still and steady, his thumb running over the back of your hand

Sukuna is very focused on his task, you can easily tell by the pink of his tongue poking out from between his lips; both on his face and on his tummy

he’s the King of Curses, of course he has to make sure your nails are painted perfectly, his S/O can’t look any less dapper than him. now that he thinks about it, he’s gonna let Uraume tailor you some new clothes too that go along well with his

once Sukuna is done, he keeps your hands in his for a little longer, under the excuse of making sure the nail polish is dried properly so you don’t smudge it

he doesn’t release your hands before kissing the tips of your fingers gently while gazing deep in your eyes, maybe nibbling on them a little too, murmuring something about how he’s gonna keep you around forever and ever

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐎𝐘𝐀

asking Naoya for help with a mundane task like painting your nails is such a big boost for his ego, because of course no one is more suited for this than him, he’s the best after all

he basks in the feeling of being needed and will use every opportunity to bring this up again whenever you do something you could have asked him instead 

Naoya will flip through your nail polish collection until he finds a color that he thinks suits you best, doesn’t matter if you agree with him or not

still, he is surprisingly gentle when you sit down together and he takes your hand in his, mustering it with intent–he’s not revealing what kind of intent though

Naoya’s own hands are warm and soft, there are no calluses or bruises; they are the hands of someone who usually lets others work for him

so him sitting down with you, painting your nails for you–it’s special

someone who draws an effortless eyeliner like Naoya does also has no trouble in painting your nails evenly without spilling anything

he won’t say it out loud, but he does enjoy the way you’re sitting so close to him, watching every move of him and holding still so obediently

Naoya doesn’t work for free, so you will have to kiss him and praise him after every nail he painted to keep him satisfied and motivated

[ckret2]

A leaked list of some of the exciting upcoming content from The Book of Bill:

The pyramids of Giza ranked from most to least sexy.

Winning lottery numbers. He does not say which game they're for.

Three pages of Bill practicing blackletter calligraphy so that he can write the fancy-looking "The Book of Bill" on the cover. (Meant to tear those pages out before submitting book to publisher.)

A section where he implies that all your headcanons about him are stupid. Yes, your headcanons specifically. If you compare your copy of the book to a friend's, these sections will have different text. He insults all headcanons equally, even the ones that contradict each other.

A long, rambling story about a funny thing that he saw at a party in the Nightmare Realm, but he keeps getting distracted gossiping about the embarrassing love affairs and crimes against reality the partygoers have committed. Not a single one of these characters has ever been mentioned before or ever will be again. He gets so distracted he never finishes the original funny story. He was clearly drunk when he wrote this section.

A pet care sheet on how to keep a pet axolotl. All of the information is extremely wrong.

Some of the other dimensions he's tried and failed to conquer. He keeps insisting that all the failures were somebody else's fault. It's extremely obvious that they're his fault.

A photograph of a vivisected elephant, for some reason.

A phone number written on a cocktail napkin that Bill insists would be really funny for all the readers to prank call. It leads to the desk phone of the director of the CIA. 

Bill claims he definitely totally knew that Stan was disguised as Ford the whole time, he only played along to trick the Pines back, and then he quickly changes the topic.

A page of Bill's original poetry. It's all unintelligible symbols. It will take 27 years for somebody to crack the code. They're all gory but juvenile limericks.

A cocktail recipe. It will kill you.

Bill's original version of the portal blueprints that he copied to give Ford, with Bill's handwritten annotations. One part of the blueprints is labeled "component that will accidentally destroy the universe. REMEMBER NOT TO INCLUDE THIS COMPONENT IN SIXER'S COPY!!" He underlined this twice. If this page is compared to the portal blueprints in Journal 3, it's clear that Bill included that component in Ford's copy.

A personality quiz to help you meet your ideal sleep paralysis demon.

Bill's baby pictures. He looks exactly the same, except his bow tie and top hat are too big.

Bill reveals that he thought the llama symbol on the zodiac wheel referred to that farmer guy on the edge of town, and he was super confused to see Pacifica there.

Multiple pages scattered through the book about Bill's amazing powers, his brilliant and fun plans for our dimension, and all the cool favors he's willing and able to do for his friends and followers. All these pages end with a passive-aggressive aside about how somebody would have to be REALLY stupid to turn down an invitation to join Bill's crew, Stanford Pines—

A page labeled "My loyal servants and slaves!" filled with several hideous, oozing, nightmare-inducing Lovecraftian monsters, and one Mickey Mouse.

A self-portrait depicting Bill riding a rocket ship playing an electric guitar while rainbow lightning flashes all around him and money rains down from the sky.

A cynical, sneering tirade about how love is evolution's idiotic way of tricking primitive species into reproducing and how only simple-minded mortals who can't separate their true thoughts from their hormones fall for it. In the margins he's drawn a heart around the words "Bill Cipher +" a scribbled-out blot. The blot is completely unreadable. Despite this, the fandom will spend years debating the name underneath based on the size of the blot.

Extremely stupid "explanations" about various unsolved mysteries and crimes. In six years the world will discover one of them is accidentally correct and Alex Hirsch will get investigated by the FBI.

The book will be divided into four sections. Each section will begin with a big illuminated letter. In order, the four illuminated letters spell "F" "U" "C" "K".

[consextualjane]

Ransom

Brandon jumped when his phone buzzed. His nerves were nearly fried from hours of worry, wondering where Alicia could be. Tuesdays were her yoga class days. She was usually home by seven, but it was going on midnight now.

He grabbed his phone.  What he saw on the screen didn't make sense. A picture of Alicia, ball-gagged and on her knees in front of a mirror, was sent from an unknown number.  The woman who had taken the picture was standing next to Alicia with her ass pressed against his girlfriend's face.

The message under the image was even more surreal: I picked up your dumb girlfriend at a yoga class. I told her I  ran an advanced class from my home, and this idiot believed me.  She's full of drugs and had a vibrator held to her clit for the last two hours. I doubt she even knows her name right now. If you want her back, wire five thousand dollars to the link in the next message. Or something worse will happen to her.

Brandon's phone buzzed again and the link appeared.  His brain didn't register what was happening. Was this some kind of prank? Alicia had mentioned wanting to spice up their sex life. Was this her way? Or was it real?

What the fuck is this, he typed in response, not knowing what else to do. He waited for what seemed like several minutes before he received a response.

You have one minute.

Brandon's worry turned to anger. He wasn't going to indulge whatever game this was.

He typed another message: Go fuck yourself.

Suit yourself, came the response.

He tossed the phone on couch. She'd be home soon, once she realized he wasn't into whatever game this was. And then they would be having frank discussion about what he considered cheating. He flopped himself down on the couch and turned on the TV.

A few minutes of channel surfing went by before he looked back at his phone.  Who was the other girl in that photo? Why was Alicia dressed like such a slut for her? Brandon picked up his phone and opened the photo again.

There was his girlfriend, on her knees and wearing a leather belt and collar lingerie. Since when did she act like that? The other woman's big ass was dominating Alicia's face. She almost looked like she was enjoying it. His cock stiffened.

He started to rub it through his pants, but then he stopped himself, throwing his phone down. He wasn't into this kinky stuff. And he didn't sign up to date a whore.

His eyes were drifting back to the TV when he felt his phone vibrate through the couch cushion. Was that her again? Reaching for the phone, he felt his heart rate quicken. When he looked at the screen he found text message with only a video.

A surge of images flashed through his mind. Was this woman actually doing things to his girlfriend? There was no way he could watch that video. He only hesitated for a moment before his thumb betrayed him and pressed play.

The video opened to a view of the woman's bedroom. The lights were off except for a neon glow coming from behind the camera, illuminating her empty bed. An eighties-style synth pop song started playing in the background as a women walked into the frame.

Only her bottom half was visible in the video, but Brandon could tell from her thong that it was the woman from the photo. She walked in front of the camera, showing off her wide hips. Brandon felt himself getting harder despite his disgust. He held the phone closer, and noticed a bulge in the front of the woman's thong.

She  stood in front of the bed, swaying her hips for several seconds, before reaching into the front of her thong and pulling out one of the biggest cocks Brandon had ever seen, fully hard and girthy. It was nearly twice the size of his own.

She stroked the behemoth a few times. His mouth fell open as a thick bead of precum oozed out of the tip and dripped out of the frame. His own cock was about to burst through his pants. Without realizing what he was doing, he unzipped and pulled it out.

The woman on the video then walked out of view. The synthesizer-heavy song continued to hum ominously in the background. A second later Brandon saw his girlfriend climb on to the bed on all fours. A mix of horror and lust coursed through his cock as he watched the woman get on to the bed behind her.  She pushed Alicia down into the mattress and pulled her hips up before giving her ass a hard slap. He heard his girlfriend moan over the music.

After another ass-slap, Alicia turned and looked directly at the camera. Brandon felt her looking at him. Her eyes were wide, full of fear, and lust, and something that almost seemed like an apology for what he was about to see.

Right on cue, the woman sank her massive, bare girl-cock  into his girlfriend from behind. Alicia fell to the mattress, letting out an orgasmic cry just as the video cut out.

Brandon stared at the screen, his phone in one hand, his throbbing cock in the other. The shock of the video made his mind go blank. Before he could think of what to do next his phone buzzed with another message.

Send the money to see the rest.

[liya4kar]

Apparently you can’t put videos in reblogs so @just-another-wren in answer to the Ooze prank ask answer. The boys share one braincell and they thought it’d be a good idea to give it to Raph.

(Answering all the asks is taking too long so I might later tag there all the answers that involved waterbending here)

(Also I’m sorry I’m taking this long)

[strawbeerossi]

Spring Showers

Pairing: Wife!Reader x Husband!Spencer Reid

Description: In an attempt to scare you, your husband pulls back the shower curtain while you’re not expecting him and sees a sight for sore eyes

Content/Warnings: Failed attempt at a prank, masturbation (f), shower sex, oral (f rec), unprotected sex

Word Count: 1.2K

Kinktober Day Twenty Four: Shower Sex

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

Spencer was thrilled to be able to come home at a reasonable time when you were awake. The case he spent the past three days on had a happy ending, which he was so grateful for. Now he was just ready to get home to you and spend the rest of your evening together. 

He had gotten home half past six, walking into the house that was too quiet. You must’ve been cleaning or napping. As he placed his satchel down and walked deeper into the apartment, he heard the soft sounds of music coming from the direction of your shared bedroom. That’s when he realized you were in the shower. 

With a devious smile, he was gently getting his shoes off before approaching the bedroom door. His plan was to give you a good scare and have a laugh about it afterwards. As his mismatched sock-clad feet were shuffling through the house, he was slowly opening the bathroom door. The pop playlist you had on was echoing through the bathroom, so loud he couldn’t hear you in the shower whenever you had two fingers pushed deep into your soaked pussy. You’d been feeling desperate for the past few days and with Spencer away on a case, you didn’t want to bother your exhausted husband.

These past few days have been torture, unable to make yourself cum because your own fingers or your toys just couldn’t cut it. You’d had enough of feeling uncomfortably turned on, so while the sounds of Taylor Swift were filling your ears, you were leaning against the cool tile wall of the shower as you tried to bring yourself to orgasm, only having a few huffs and whines of desperation. 

Spencer was only raising an eyebrow as he’d heard a soft whine, his hand gently gripping the curtain before tugging it open. However the sudden burst of light had your eyes shooting open, your hand quickly gripping a shampoo bottle as your husband caught you by surprise. By the time you realized it was him though, you were only huffing. “Spencer! You scared the hell out of me!” You scolded, watching as the male offered a smile. “I wanted to give a good greeting but man, I think you beat me.” He teased. 

“I’m glad you liked the show but I give up.” You huffed, the sexual frustration affecting your mood. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m home then, huh? I don’t wanna brag but we both know that I am good at making you cum.” You were letting your eyes widen as the fully clothed man was stepping into the shower. “Your clothes!” You couldn’t help but laugh, watching the outfit darken as he was soaking himself. “I didn’t wanna take too long!” He admitted while laughing as he was dropping down to his knees in front of you. 

You were watching your husband sink to his knees, the hot water making his hair stick to his forehead as he was lifting one of your legs over his shoulder. Your hand was threading through the wet curls, slicking them back so they weren’t in his way. His tongue had licked a fat stripe over your slit as he relished in the way you let your head fall back.

“I’ve missed you.” You breathed as his tongue licked up your slit before letting it lap over your clit a few times. “I’ve missed you.” He spoke, voice practically muffled between your legs as he was taking your clit into his mouth while sucking lightly while he was running one hand up your body, his hand resting on your right breast before he was squeezing it, rolling your hardened nipple between his fingers. This was the best welcome home he had ever received, he had to admit it.

As he was eating like you were his last meal, his tongue was lapping up every ounce of arousal oozing from your cunt as his nose was bumping against your clit in the process. You were in heaven, not getting this pleasure since a few days before he left on the case he had just arrived home from. The bathroom was filled with whatever music was in your rotation coupled with the moans and cries you were letting spill from your mouth. 

You’d been waiting days for this, so it was no surprise you were inpatient. Your hand was gently tugging his hair back, much to his dismay as he whined from being pulled away from your sweetness. “I need you so bad. Please, you can eat me out for hours later if you want to but I just..” He didn’t need another word as he was quickly pushing himself to stand and letting his mouth smash against yours. 

You could taste yourself faintly on his tongue, heightening onto the arousal pooling in your belly as you let your hands work on unbuttoning Spencer’s shirt as he was letting his hands work on his pants in order to get them off as well. When the sopping wet clothes were tossed in the bottom of the shower, you were keeping him steady as he quickly got his socks off as well. 

The minute his hands were under your thighs, you were jumping into his arms as your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. His hand was gripping at his cock that was standing at attention by this point, the thick head pushing into your weeping pussy as you connected your lips, both of your moans mixing within each other’s mouths. 

After days of being desperate and giving up, you were whining into his mouth as his hips were thrusting slowly, cock giving your cunt a delicious stretch that you’d been desperately craving. You relished in feeling every ridge and vein, as if you would forget after the fact and you needed to savor it while you were graced with it. Spencer’s head had dipped to your neck, his lips pressing kisses against your skin as he let out a soft groan. “I’ve missed you so much.” His breath was hot against your flesh as he let his teeth playfully nip at your skin, eliciting a little yelp. 

As his cock made an assault on your pussy, your fingers were tangling in his hair as you cried from please, hands roughly pulling at his hair as he was pistoning into the spongy spot where you needed him most. “Right there!” You gasped out, urging him to speed up with his thrusts as your body was bouncing just a bit with each thrust.

Your hands fell to his shoulders as your walls were spasming around his shaft, clenching around him as your greedy pussy tried taking more of him even though it wasn’t possible. You didn’t have much of a chance to warn him as you could feel the familiar warmth spreading through your body, however judging by his cock twitching inside of you, he was close too.

After a few sloppy pumps, it wasn’t long until you were tightly gripping onto one another as you both were hitting your peaks, his cum filling your desperate cunt and making your body shiver as you could feel the combined arousal dripping down your thighs.

“Best welcome home ever.’ Spencer laughed, attaching his lips to yours.

[neteyamssyulang]

♱ Wild Encounters ♱

♱ Easter special ♱

♱ Pairing: Adult Neteyam x Fem human reader ♱

♱ Summary: While on a late night walk in the woods, you immediately regret your decision.

♱ Warnings: Dom Neteyam, Sub reader, Neteyam in rut, Dub-con?, P in V, Size difference, Creampie.

♱ Translation(s): Tawtute -> Sky person, Tìyawn -> Love.

♱ Word count: 653 ♱

♱ A/N: Happy Easter my darlings!

♱ Tagging: @teyamshuman @ikeyniofthetayrangi @itchaboi-itchyboy @aria-tempest @anemonelovesfiction @loaksulluyswife @kia-wolfie @tallulah477 @kariz-stark

When you decided to go for a late night walk through the forest, this is not what you had in mind.

The air was temperate, the breeze was cool, the bioluminescent moss lighting your way though the endless forest. It felt good to be out here, so perfect and free.

Tonight felt different though, like someone was watching you from the shadows. Whenever you turned around however, there was nobody around. It was like pandora was playing a prank on you, making you feel crazy and on edge.

Glances over your shoulder now and then would ease that nervousness inside of you a bit but it would never fully go away. A twig snapping behind you made you turn around instantly, only to be met with, him.

You've heard stories about the omaticaya prince from humans that went back and fourth from the village, yet none compared to what is infront of you right now.

His eyes, normally described yellow like honey were green, with slits for pupils. His skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and a noticeable tent was in his tewng.

"Such a pretty little tawtute" he purred, stepping closer towards you. Instinctively, you took a step back making him growl.

In an instant, you found yourself laying flat on your back with the huge na'vi hovering above you. He was so large compared to you, having to bend his back a bit to bury his head into the crook of your neck.

"Please, don't do this.." you begged him, unfortunately your pleas fell on deaf ears as he ripped off your shorts, along with your panties and shirt.

"You do not tell me what to do, little girl" he hissed, moving his loincloth to the side. His cock slapped against his stomach, beads of pre-cum already oozing from the tip.

Holy mother he was huge, that would never fit inside you. No way, no how. "That thing will ne- ahh! oh shit!" Your cut off as he immediately rammed his cock inside your tight pussy.

"Fuck.. so tight..so good" he moaned, with no preparation the stretch felt unbearable to you. It was like he was tearing you in half, literally.

Tears streamed down your face as you dug your nails into the palm of your hand, leaving small crescent marks. Without warning, Neteyam pulled out only to slam back inside. A noticeable buldge could be seen from your stomach where his cock was buried.

Neteyam hovered above you, his large frame making you feel even smaller compared to him. His arms caged you in as he started rutting into you like a rabbit in heat.

The forest was filled with the sound of his hips slapping against yours, along with the lewd sounds he kept pulling from your lips. You've never felt so full in your life, not even the toys you had could make you feel this way.

"That's it" Neteyam purred, coiling his tail around your ankle. He leaned down, burying his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent.

You whined, clawing at his shoulders as you felt your climax approaching. Neteyam groaned, picking up his pace "Is the little human gonna cum for me? Hm?"

Leaning back up, he gazed down at your flushed face. You nodded frantically, desperately wanting to cum already. Neteyam smirked,"Cum, be a good little slut and cum.on.this.cock!" With each word he delivered a hard thrust, his tip kissing your cervix.

A choked out sob left your lips as you came hard, squirting onto his lower abdomen and thighs. Neteyam hissed feeling your walls squeezing around him tightly, with one last thrust he buried himself to the hilt inside, painting your gummy walls white.

Panting heavily, you gazed up at him, his green eyes slowly turning back to the warm honey ones you heard so much about.

"Your mine now, pretty human" he murmured.

[bandgie]

Rule Breaker | Armageddon Event

Request: Lust | Kim Seungmin & Lee Minho (SKZ) by anon song!

warnings! MDNI18+, fem!reader, somno, dubious, PIV, no protection, 3some (minho doesn't do much), bondage/tentacle, incubus!minho, incubus!seungmin, human!reader, seungmin's first time with a human, piss mention, brief aftercare

notes: this one took a min sorry !

Seungmin’s a little grossed out, a little nervous, and a lot of turned on. He can’t help how his cock chubs up at the sight of Minho flipping you on your back. His slimy appendages work diligently to make sure you stay sleeping, your slow breaths never changing as you settle comfortably.

“You must do this often.” Seungmin can’t help but notice the smooth way Minho does everything. Even removing the blanket, you don’t so much as shiver.

Minho smiles somewhat pridefully. “Oh. She’s used to it.” He’s mindful of keeping his voice low. “A ‘lil something we like to do pretty often. You’re just a surprise for her.” Seungmin rolls his eyes at Minho’s wink.

The elder chuckles. Minho lifts you off the bed with the tentacles sprouting from his back just enough to slide in. This time, you do shift in your sleep. Seungmin holds his breath as Minho stills, waiting for you to stop squirming against him before you inevitably slump back.

Seungmin exhales. He didn’t believe it when Minho told him he found himself a human lover. Incubi have a rather…difficult time sticking with one partner, so a mortal girlfriend seemed like a weird prank.

But as Seungmin stands there, his sharp nails digging into his palm as Minho finally rests between you and the bed, that joke seems to be the very truth.

Drool begins to pool in his mouth when Minho’s appendages spread your legs. Your demon lover had told you to sleep nude. You listened, obviously, and now your cunt is on display for Seungmin who stands at the edge of the bed.

His cock jumps.

Minho smiles as if he knows. He does know. “What? Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

Seungmin breaks eye contact with your folds to glare at Minho. “No. I’m not.” To prove his point, Seungmin chucks his shirt off. He ignores how Minho blatantly ogles at his bare skin, moving to remove his itchy, human pants next. 

The first step is to subdue the human, which is…already done. There’s hardly much to do with Minho keeping you open, asleep, and restrained. But Seungmin is glad to do less work.

The next thing would be to provide stimulation. Not enough to wake them, but enough to work them up, oozing with arousal. Oral is the quickest way. Seungmin is already beginning to lie on his stomach when a tentacle halts his shoulder.

He has to try not to smack it away. “Don’t touch me with that thing.” Minho ignores his rude comment. “You don’t have to do that.”

“But the rules state it’s mandatory to-”

The appendage pushes harder against Seungmin until it forces him to sit straight up. “Damn, Seungmin.” Minho scoffs a bit. “Don’t be such a square. Demons are supposed to break the rules, remember?” The same tentacle that moved Seungmin takes place on your stomach. It squirms around the flesh of your tummy, reaching up to slide and curl around your breasts.

“Every human is different,” Minho turns his head to look at you. “Some prefer head, others breasts play. There’s even some that skip the bullshit and get straight to it.” His eyes turn affectionate when he looks at you, an emotion Seungmin doesn’t too often see in Minho. 

“This one likes…well…I’ll just show you what my human likes.”

Two tentacles hold your legs apart, one wraps around your breast, and the fourth one slithers its way between your legs. The point tickles your folds, not daring to travel further down as it focuses on your clit.

Your reaction is almost instantaneous. Your lips part and a soft sigh leaves your chest. All there is to feel is the tip of the moist appendage sliding against your most sensitive spot. Arousal gushes from your hole and Seungmin watches as a drop pathetically slides down your ass.

“It’s pretty easy once you know what the human wants.” Minho continues his lesson. “Just the smallest touch on her pussy gets her so wet. Just gotta rub in little circles and she’ll open up real nice for ‘ya.”

Seungmin watches in real time how wet you grow. Your hips swivel just the tiniest bit in your sleep for friction. The tentacle flicks faster, getting you to make tired whines. Seungmin doesn’t know why Minho’s dragging this out. Their job is to get in and out. You’re more than ready for penetration. Your hole clenches with every swipe of his appendage. Your thighs grow damper with every grind.

Maybe it’s because of your human scent, but Seungmin has never felt such an intense desire. It’s his job to get you aroused. Yet, judging by the aching in his cock, that seems far from the truth.

Seungmin crawls closer, his hands on your soft thighs to get a good look at your dripping cunt. He licks his lips. “Hyung. How much longer-”

“Now.” Minho sounds a little breathless. “I just wanted to give you a hard time, but I can tell your dick’s about to explode if you don’t put it in soon.”

The snickers from Minho are ignored as Seungmin lines up his tip with your entrance. There’s no doubt in his mind you’ll wake up. Not that he’s the biggest guy out there, but Seungmin can easily see how much your walls would have to stretch.

You’ll be so tight. So warm and wet inside. Seungmin’s been told countless times that human pussy just feels different. They’re imperfect. Some spots are softer than others, some cunts break easily whereas you have to work for some. He’s eager to get his first taste of mortality in its rawest form. Even if Minho’s eyes watch him almost uncomfortably and his tentacle swoops down to help him push it in, he’ll endure it.

The slime acts as an extra lubricant. Minho giggles while he strokes Seungmin, finding amusement in his twitching face. “You can be pretty cute, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin only groans in response. Minho must've gotten you wrapped around his tentacle with that stupid smooth talk.

Minho’s tentacle forms a tight ring around the base of Seungmin’s cock. It gently tugs until Seungmin gets the message to ease his tip in.

Everything between your legs is sticky. Strings of slickness from both you and Minho look arousing as Seungmin sinks in. Your legs twitch from the intrusion. Seungmin should slow down or come to a full stop, but he can’t with Minho pulling him deeper in and your walls caving easily.

The rules he’s learned state that you should be sleeping the entire time. It’s for precaution mostly. You wake up confused as to why your sheets and pussy are wet while Seungmin and every other incubus keep their identity hidden from humans.

But like Minho said - when did demons ever follow rules?

So Seungmin buries himself until Minho’s appendage touches your cunt. The tentacle quickly unravels itself and goes back to your clit. Seungmin moans when he finally fills you to his hilt, his cock completely vanished inside.

“W-what…” Your voice is groggy.  Everything is blurry even as you try to blink in front of you. “Why are you…” Seungmin can feel the moment when your eyes properly adjust on him without having to look up. “You’re not-”

He presses deeper until his pelvis is flush against you. Your words are cut off by a squeal. Your walls twitch and convulse around Seungmin’s cock and it’s nothing he’s ever felt before. 

Hopefully, your lover's words will be enough to soothe you while Seungmin finds a pace. 

“Shhh. That’s just my friend, jagiya. He’s testing right now.”

Your eyes focus on the demon in front of you. His nails dig sharply into your skin and you swear you can see the glint of curved horns on his head. His cock bullies into you relentlessly like an animal in heat. Minho’s words are drowned out by the constant pounding of his hips, but that doesn’t stop him in the slightest.

“I think he likes you.” Minho smiles against your ear. Your body jolts on top of his, but the tentacles hold you still enough. “Should have seen him when I first brought him here. He wanted to fuck you real bad.”

Seungmin’s cock slides in and out with ease. The pleasure feels almost unbearable as you're restrained. There’s no way to move with him, to adjust yourself so he stops hitting that gummy spot too deep inside. All you can do is take his strokes and endure the sharp pleasure in your stomach.

“L-likes me?” You should be more concerned with who this stranger is, but he’s fucking you too good to care. 

Minho hums. “A lot. You’re the first human he’s had. So make sure to be good to him.”

You nod furiously, unable to look away from the cock that digs into you. So much cream and slick froths up with every pound. It’s impossible to tell which one of you made the mess, but you’re willing to bet Minho had more than a helping hand in it.

Seungmin’s chest heaves with every pump. He can feel your essence build quickly, giving him little spoonfuls of your energy that he greedily takes. Curiosity gets the better of him, and he can’t himself when he finally makes eye contact with you.

You look like a lustful dream. Your breasts bounce with every move that the tentacle follows and your eyes glaze over naturally. Incubi have a natural aphrodisiac during mating, but there seems to be no need to amp it when your own aroused scent covers the room. 

“I-i’ll be good.” You gasp. Seungmin's gaze pierces you and he watches you shiver. “Am I good?”

He moans again, sitting back on his haunches to get a good angle. Seungmin smiles just the faintest when you whine. “Real good. You gonna give me your cum?”

Minho raises an eyebrow at his underling. He almost mocked him, but he stops himself when you nod. “Yes. So close.”

They can tell. You gush exceptionally on Seungmin’s cock and Minho knows your body all too well. His hand gropes and twists your free nipple while the other keeps your chin steady on Seungmin, making you clench even tighter on the demon fucking you. You let the appendages hold you as they fit. Even if it makes your legs ache from being bent at the knee, you happily remain pliant for the incubi using you.

A flick to your clit makes you keen. Minho’s slippery friend smoothes over your cunt, making sure to grind so swollen nub has no choice to feel it.

“Shit!” Some white cream forms a pretty ring on Seungmin’s cock. “Look at that.”

Minho picks his head up to gaze down. He smiles when he sees it. “Cute, huh? My human does it all. Cream, squirts, pisses…nasty slut.” Minho grips your tits harder. “I love it.”

Seungmin’s pace becomes less sharp and more fluid. His cock seems now familiar with your cunt, finding your cervix he has no issue kissing with his tip. All you can feel is them inside and outside of you. Your orgasm claws its way through your body unbelievably quickly.

Your wrists twist from Minho holding you captive. “Cumming! ‘m cumming, ‘m cumming!”

Seungmin’s supposed to still his hips. He’s supposed to make sure your energy coats his cock and embeds in his skin. His own orgasm doesn’t technically matter, he’s supposed to be satisfied with yours alone.

But you’re squeezing him just right. Your walls keep hugging like you don't want him to stop. For fucks sake, your cervix keeps kissing him back. How is he supposed to pull away?

So he doesn’t. Even as your moans turn into babbling sounds and you lay completely spent on Minho’s chest, he fucks you until his cock twitches and his orgasm approaches.

“I don’t think this part’s in the handbook, Seungminnie.” But Minho’s face is far from concerned and closer to satisfied. “Don’t you think you’re enjoying your first time a little too much?”

The only response he has is a guttural groan. Ropes of cum shoot deep inside and Seungmin doesn’t even think of the repercussions he might face finishing in Minho’s woman, but he doesn’t care too much.

“How about you, jagiya? You like Seungminnie’s cum inside?”

“Ngh~”

Seungmin chuckles despite his face still contorting in remnants of pleasure as he slides out. Cum seems to pool out of you obscenely. Every twitch and pulse from your cunt has more cream oozing out and as if it knows, Minho’s appendage scoops up the release to shove back in.

“What did I teach you?” Minho playfully tuts “Gotta keep it all inside, remember? You’re embarrassing me in front of my coworker.”

You babble some more, turning your head to tiredly look at your lover and snuggle closer. Minho pecks your nose, his bunny teeth poking out as he carefully releases you from his hold and tucks his appendages into his back. His arms wrap around your nude torso, flipping to the side so he can snuggle behind you comfortably. 

Seungmin feels as though he might vomit.

“Don’t look like that.” Minho scrunches his nose in distaste. “You’re the one that did this, you know.”

The younger demon only rolls his eyes. He means to put on his clothes and leave you two love birds alone, but when he sees you made grabby hands almost innocently, he finds himself sandwiching you between him and Minho. 

Your lover giggles and looks straight at Seungmin, your back flush to his chest as you slowly slip back to sleep. “This isn’t part of the rules either. You’re a bad little demon.”

“I’m gonna fucking punch you.”