#oops that got deep

[abandoned-void]

False You

I thought I had finally found me,

but it turns out I'm becoming less and less 'me' every day,

the things I thought I was, falling away.

I thought I had finally found me,

but no, I was just a version of you,

a smaller,

weaker,

false version of you, depending on your happiness for my own.

Pathetic.

I often find myself reliving our memories, now we aren't making more,

just to feel something,

just to feel like;

someone

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Vanessa’s thoughts when meeting Abby..

[hinamie]

i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception

[keplerspacecraftofficial]

imagine ur doing 90 in a 55, ur water just broke, u arent even trying to get to the hospital about it youre trying to get away from your ex man (who is also your girl) who is also the fucking traffic cop trying to arrest you for speeding and also some unrelated stuff (the only reason he hasnt called a full on car chase is because he thinks you're pregnant with his kid) (its not his kid, you specifically picked his boss as your sperm donor to make said boss’s life hell) and you have a pretty good idea about what the last couple hours of commander wake's life was like

[felsicveins]

The whole lack of gender preference thing is reminding me of homestuck quadrants and how fucked up would that be in the trolls universe. That said I can see Floyd ♠️ Otto.

Is this what kismemes do 😳😳

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2 memes because i think they're funny

[pcktknife]

'its out of character for frye to get upset abt the splatfest loses' ....is it tho??

[manchestereyes]

dan is a pen, phil is a highlighter

dan drew the world and phil made it brighter

omggggg i REMEMBER this so well from back in the day!! 😭😭😭 as simplified as it is, it's really so true. we can't have one without the other and even dnp themselves have acknowledged it. "through all the existential crises, you've been there feeding me snacks" or whatever dan said at the end of the haircutting video. they created such a wonderful community who never fail to lift each other up and welcome newcomers with open arms. i so deeply believe they were meant to find each other and everything that's come since then is further confirmation that they bring out the best in each other. heck, we even have dan starting to embrace color now! they deserve to be so proud of everything they've done and even the things they've tried to do, since it shows that they're truly unstoppable together. (because you know that even when they do solo projects, the other is right there to see them through every step of the way. and if that ain't love, i don't know what is! ❤️)

iconic art by the one and only @koreinkorein of course!

[shinbine]

Can you describe shin hati's personality?

Cool, calculated, cunning. These are all words that describe Shin Hati, and they’re likely what people think when they first meet her.

But under that, under her shell, she’s lonely, confused, and tired. As a child she likely had to hide her force sensitivity, until the Empire fell. Baylan was perhaps, all she had. Now she’s alone, finding her place in the Galaxy again… and I think she’s searching for a new sense of belonging. A sense of self.

I think Shin Hati would love to sit by a roaring ocean, looking out the window of a beachfront home, gently petting her (and Sabine’s) loth cat, enjoying the tranquility.

Enjoying peace, and being loved.

[arc-archernar]

Milgram: Deep Cover Thoughts (Spoilers)

(some of the post written a few hours after, mainly bc deep cover released in between 2 of my mocks)

(all of this is personal opinion and interpretations, take this with a grain of salt or pepper or your choice of powdery food flavouring)

AHJDHR JUST FINISHED WATCHING DEEP COVER

its so good i thoroughly applaud the animators for their work. the colours and the design and ajdhkdhrr

i love staring at how they draw eyes like wtf??? that animation budget must be really high like the transformation and the BLOOD-

okay onto more lore-y thoughts:

(this part is me rambling at my screen trying to form a coherent theory of what happened, there are a lot of random stray thoughts here)

kotoko seems to be the 'punish > solve the systemic issue' type of person. we see that in the way she interacts with the brown-haired girl that she saved. when the girl grabbed onto her we see her conflicted eyes. to me it seemed partially out of desperation??(could just be the adrenaline high of her murder, we also see her sweaty so theres that. murder takes a lot of energy guys), or like she doesnt know what to do with herself. like she wants to push the girl away but felt like she could not (maybe knew that if she pushed her away she might harm the girl even more psychologically...). after that we see her barely acknowledging the brown haired girl in the park, seemingly more interested in the article on her phone than the girl she saved...

also, i found a post where someone translated the article!

to paraphrase, the son of a newspaper company's CEO was found dead (shocker, probably Kotoko's victim). The article goes on to talk about how a female university student had killed him in self defence due to getting into a scuffle as she caught him kidnapping a minor (so. definitely kotoko. probably). The minor agreed with the student that it was self-defence. The company's CEO then came out with an independent report all the injuries that they found on his son, which indicated that more than proportional violence was used, and then announced that the victim retracted her statement. The article then mentions all the rumors that exist about this murder...

interesting.

then that scene. that face of absolute fear on the girl and the uncaring apathy on kotoko's face. we clearly see the young girl trying to wear the cap, we see her basically modelling herself after kotoko. who can blame her? that's the person who saved her from... a life of suffering, probably. So to see kotoko ignoring her like that would absolutely destroy her.

so is kotoko just that heartless? no. or at least, i don't think so. remember the article? 'the victim retracted her statement'. this can happen for many reasons, such as being coerced, forced, bribed, etc. no matter why she did it, this would cast a lot of questions to the credibility of this case. maybe kotoko was legit mad? like 'if you don't want to be saved, i can't save you'. or she thought distancing herself from the victim would be the best thing to do, cuz otherwise people would argue that the two of them conspired together to murder a person and pass it off as a 'heroic deed'. by distancing herself, more of the 'blame' if it ever comes would fall on her. maybe she thought this was the best course of action in this scenario, so at least the girl would seem less 'co-conspirator' and more 'young child who was coerced'. either way, even without counting kotoko's bloodlust in the background, this is a fucked situation.

and yes, the prison seems to be composed of 5 direct and 5 indirect killers, kotoko being an indirect one. we know that she has actually, physically killed a person. the fact that she's in the prison for an indirect murder means that she didn't even consider that guy as a person (lol) or a being worth caring about.

so my running theory of what happened is:

(this part is just consolidation of the theory, above is rambling)

kotoko went after a the newspaper CEO's son, and found him kidnapping the child in that warehouse. then, she beat him up and possibly killed him with excessive force (i.e. the force she used was 'not proportional to the violence about to be inflicted onto her' or smth, im paraphrasing here but that's the gist. and i really mean 'possibly', ill elaborate later). after that, she reported the case to... probably the police? and claimed in court that she found CEO's son kidnapping a minor, then the interaction got violent and she had no choice but to kill him, with the help of the child's testimony. after that, she was released with no charges. (assuming that when the translation says 'the verdict...' it means that the trial has concluded, the judging body(japan doesn't have a jury. for serious criminal cases, they have a 'saiban-in'. look it up for more info abt this) has deemed kotoko free of all charges or smth, and now she walks free.)

but after THAT, the CEO got an independent investigation that reported those injuries, and they believe them to be inflicted not in self-defence but with intent to harm. this is where the idea that she might have killed him to sate her bloodlust comes from. while i do agree on some aspects, remember this is an 'independent investigation', and this is a CEO whose money speaks. also, what you're telling me is that the forensics who looked into the body did not believe the wounds were due to 'excessive force' (bc if that was the case the trial should have gone very very differently), but the group that you independently hired did. i mean, a little bit suspect about the level of validity of that claim, don't you think? (this is assuming that everyone in the trial was competent at their job and no foul play was present. if not, ignore this section.)

the CEO also claimed that the child retracted her testimony (that would be perjury, since that would be admitting that you were lying to the court. japan seems to have laws against perjury, but im not very sure how enforceable it really is, or if people actually get charged with it.). this casts doubt on the verdict and both kotoko's and the victim's credibility in the eyes of the public, you know how the public is. and in a case like this, where the one trying to get someone in jail is someone with money and influence to do private investigations and press conferences, the impact it can have on the life of the other party can get insanely negative. they could have their lives absolutely ruined by this, being publicly shamed this way, while the CEO walks away looking like a caring father 'just looking to avenge his child'. i think the following are plausible:

1st case scenario: im not a legal expert, so REALLY don't blindly believe this, but if this means the child is legally retracting her testimony that she made in front of the court, during a trial, this would require the child to reach out to the law enforcement entities to get it passed, and that might warrant a re-trial of the original trial. in other words, in this scenario kotoko is seriously fucked (probably). so kotoko avoiding the child and/or being pissed is.. personally i think there are better ways to handle this situation, one of which is get yourself a damn good lawyer and hope for the best, kotoko- but not unordinary.

2nd case scenario(more likely in my personal opinion): of course, there's always the case that all this is made up. in which case, kotoko would still have a reason to avoid the child, in that it's the most logical course of action to avoid unnecessary harm to the child. if she acts friendly to the child in public, there's a chance that the child will be seen as a co-conspirator to the 'murder'. also since its a guy with money who's speaking out, it's likely that public opinion would wholy turn against her. and the child, who helped defend kotoko in court, well... even more harrassment, probably. death threats, likely.

in both cases, her and the child would probably receive harrassment, which i think is a possible motive for the child getting killed. (i'm assuming that the child was the one who kotoko feels like she's killed, because she was put in milgram for indirect murder to complete the 5:5 ratio)

And then she becomes a furry.

yay? well, i think the wolf is supposed to be a symbolic of the monster that she now sees herself as. remember, if the version of events i described above is true then she probably faced a lot of social isolation. she has to distance herself from the victim that she helped and got close(? somewhat attached? like cmon she may be distracted with the very important life changing article but she doesn't outright ignore her, and that the chlid showed up to meet her implies that the child had an expectation that kotoko would be accepting of her company... right?) to, and many of her peers probably isolated themselves away from her (being a victim of a crime in japan can often be just as hard on a person's social life as being the perpetrator of said crime, so im not surprised if she was socially isolated by others AND herself). the lack of social support is the start of a mental downward spiral.

also, she keeps referring to herself as a tool and that she needs a next 'target'. so somewhere along the line, she stopped viewing herself as a person but merely a tool to enact justice with. because that's all she is now, she's caused the death of someone she swore to protect, the emotions are too overwhelming, please just give me something - anything - else to focus on; she's a monster, but if that's the case then so be it, she will be a monster with a purpose: eliminating the dregs of society, because that way at least she's of some use to society, otherwise-

otherwise, she's just a regular old monster.

[juustozzi]

day 31: the one character I can't stop putting in weird situations: me! (one could argue that 'juusto' is actually a character, but shhh)

big love to you all for liking my little oct drawings, it was a delight to see tags go "omg this series/character"!

[teddybeartoji]

PHOBIA OF SEAWEED IS AN ACTUAL THING?????????????????? you see i am not afraid of the open waters nor am i scared of the things that live there,, like i regularly spend time watching deep sea videos i think they're so cool but oh my fucking god the idea of KELP IS MAKING ME LIKE ACTUALLY TWITCH EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUGHHH okok actually looking at it is kind of fine but the thought of it touching my feet is genuinely making me wanna throw up😭😭😭😭😭

[kiisuuumii]

i hope you can come to believe that you can be happy in this life

[draconicfool]

@reversescale asked: "Do you remember any of it? Your life as a High Elder, I mean?"

There's a long pause. A moment of drawn out silence as the vidyadhara looks at the liquid in his cup rather than the other sitting beside him. Truthfully, he'd wondered how long it would be before he got this question from the other. Ever since they'd revealed such a thing to each other it had been lingering in the air. Something neither wanted to touch on. Bring up even.

"...I- remember all of it, honestly." He replied finally, setting the tea cup down and and leaning his head back. Those amethyst eyes staring up at the ceiling. After all, he knew too well that what he had been through...it wasn't true resurrection. He was just as much Lài Shoi-Ming today as he had been back then. The only difference was in thirty-one years starting from 'scratch' as it were.

"I remember th' days I spent aboard th' Yuque...trapped like a bird in a cage...wantin' t' fly but never bein' able t'. I remember...th' long, lonely nights I spent...th' consequences of th' Abundance war...and th' Emanator that attacked m'home."

One leg crossed over the other as he let out a long, deep sigh. For a moment his eyes shut and he was silent. Fingers tapping against his legs instinctively to mimic the placement for notes on the violin he played so rarely nowadays. And then he'd open his eyes beneath heavy lashes. Feeling for a moment, that weight of the world back upon him before it lifted.

"Some days I wish I couldn't remember any of it..."

inbox call <3

[zrllosyn-art]

Crow is real hard to draw, it turns out

[karamazovanon]

Smerdyakov: 1,2,3 and 12 (for the character ask thingy)

(character ask game!)

AHHH SMERDYAKOV MY BELOVED THANK U 4 ENABLING ME TO RANT ABT HIM.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

oh man WHERE TO FUCKING BEGIN. he!! he's such a smug little shitlord and it's one of my favorite dosto psychological archetypes, a character who feels so different from everyone else & so isolated that they end up feeling better than everyone (e.g. smarter, like smerd's bit about the creation myth) while also worse than everyone (e.g. smerd's deep insecurity about his social standing esp compared to his brothers, idolizing ivan). he's just the Are you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go ape shitt? meme a little bit. also he's just a weird little control freak. i love my lil bouillon boy.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

FAVORITE is hard omg. i really love that he plays guitar and sings in falsetto........ he's just a little guy!!! and the line. the fucking line. "I exterminate my life by my own will and inclination, in order to blame no one." what a raw fucking line. and such a concise statement of pavel as a character, who spends the entire novel fighting to exercise his free will and establish his agency as a human being in the eyes of everyone around him through any means possible, and then he only finally gets the power he wants so badly by weaponizing the societal perceptions of him he hates so much (at first fyodor pavlovich only gives half a fuck about him when he starts having fits, then later on he gets away with murder by affirming their views of him as epileptic/weak, stupid, cowardly, "just a lackey", etc etc ive ranted abt this before). smerdyakov get behind me. he did nothing wrong

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

i mean. it's gotta be the killing small animals as a child right. like we can agree on that. that's not cool baby pavel. (to be fair though. it's also interesting symbolically as a reflection of his power struggle throughout his lifetime—even as a kid he was looking for creatures with even less power than he so he could feel like he was in control of something for once, which then turned to obsession over food, arguing with his father/master, murder, etc. Wish he didn't have to kill cats about it though !)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

oooooo hmmmmm. this probably doesn't count as a headcanon but i do want him and katya to talk shit about ivan just once. i just KNOW they'd get his ass. also not to be predictable but i absolutely hc him as gay and not even in the im just making everyone gay bc i am way, in a 100% serious this-is-a-valid-interpretation-of-the-text way. i just think his utter lack of interest in women, alienation from society, insecurity about being Born Wrong, distaste for religion (esp. how illogical it is), etc is so very gaycoded. also that line about fyodor pavlovich offering to set him up with a girl to marry: "'Perhaps you ought to marry some girl, do you want me to find you one?' But this kind of talk would only make Smerdyakov turn pale with annoyance, and he would not reply." (tr. mcduff) like that was me on thanksgiving when my aunt asked if i had a boyfriend yet im sorry!!