#oop angry jamie >:(

[onelastskip]

Just out of curiosity, how many MCs did you make for Keyframes? Can you tell us a bit about them? I'm interested to know :D

OMGGG HAIII!!!

Technicallyyy 4? I played through the game on all seasons but my other MCs aren't as fleshed out (and I haven't drawn them...) — but I'll talk about what I have anyway!

So obviously Chi was my first baby girl, autumn, romancing Percy straight away, I yap about her a lot already but here's a fun fact I haven't mentioned yet, her full name is Chi Huệ Aubade, very cool!

My next mc was Mika (she's sort recycled from olba, sorta not because I hate the idea of being unfaithful to cove, idk if that makes sense just the way my brain works) she's a summer and... well I was supposed to romance Elio... but then the Percy summer meeting hit me like a truck and I went for him again... now she probably won't get fleshed out but I'm thinking of doing a male mc elio summer run (for real this time, no percy shenanigans)

And then I have my spring mc, Nari, and- I will admit I was very close to reromancing Percy but no! they are a Jamie romance (slowwburn tho) cause I found the cupcake confrontation was so good with a spring personality. So they're uh, well to describe them, in a word, they're self-assured (technically two but semantics). They're extremely competent and they know it, they have a big ego and tend to be overconfident, brash and competitive. Andd they also have a crippling fear of emotional connection and an avoidant attachment style. love my little guys who are so smart yet so very stupid. Anyway their dynamic with Jamie is sort of teasing? They were expecting to be annoyed by him bcos of his reputation but they ended up liking him more than they thought. They have a sort of "people disappoint me" expectation, a lot of the friends and relationships they've had in the past were shallow (not for lack of trying? but nari really didn't put any effort in) they only really mesh with deja and cam and don't even try to form deeper relationships with others, the boys are the first friends they've made in a while, and their first time besides with cam and deja actually trying to connect with people. They're an ISTJ and fun fact about them theyyy are very good at chess.

And lastly my winter mc, Yumi (name pending.) they're my no romance route (or slowburn? it depends how it plays out I guess). They're... to describe them in one word. Chill (lol). They're an artist turned law student and they are very go with the flow. They are also doing a minor of sociology! They stopped painting in their last year of highschool because they were told they needed to start taking things seriously (they had pretty bad-average grades before). While they're generally patient and relaxed, when they do get angry, they are no holds barred, cussing out authority figures, not a single thought in that brain, they get very passionate when they're being confrontational. They're an INTP and fun fact about them they know how to skateboard.

WAIIIIT- I'M GONNA USE THIS ASK TO YAP ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM (sorry anon my attention span is kinda fucked, ADHD ramble incoming)

Okay I've mentioned before Chi's a 2w3, little lore drop, she's got family issues (eldest daughter in an asian family /hj) but yeah there's a lot of pressure from that direction, that's part why she's doing a law degree (polisci? I forget how it is in america), she was rushed into picking a degree and just went with what she was best at. Anyway I should probably explain the enneagram oops, OKAY, so she has a type 2 fixation, which basically means, she's got a gaping hole where her self esteem is and she tries to patch that up by creating relationships (people pleaser...), that's why she tries to be as helpful as possible all the time, she's got a deep seated fear of abandonment and feels like she can only be loved if she's providing some sort of support (usually as an emotional dumping ground) to the other person.

Buttt, thankfully when she got to college she met Deja and Cam, who did NOT fuck with that kinda behaviour so she's slowly getting better, I imagine over the course of her time at college she gets better at loving herself and sets boundaries with her parents, fixes the relationship (the other drama is she has younger siblings who are still with them and yeah) idk I just like writing character arcs like this it helps me understand my ocs better I think

onto my other mcsss:

uhh Mika's a 7w8, but I'm gonna skip her since she'll probably get reworked into something else anywayyy

so Nari has a type 5 fixation, their whole deal is they need to feel competent, need to feel like they understand the world around them because it's a scary place and if something doesn't fit in with the way they understand things that means they understand nothing. Anyway, their little character arc would actually be centred on the relationship, it's a story about them accepting emotional vulnerability, letting down their walls, losing their rigid world view, and choosing to trust in another person and fall in love :3

Yumi (name pending) has a type 9 fixation, their problem is... well basically, on the surface, they're confident, calm, collected, composed (heh alliteration), they really seem like they've got it all together but internally they've resigned themself to being another cog in the machine. They've lost their passion in life and they're stuck in the pit of "it is what it is". Their character arc would probably involve them dropping out of college and pursuing something they actually care about, that being art.

[jamiesfootball]

"a bell to rise" as from velodrome by dessa. idk if it's meant to be referencing the pavlov experiment in the song or not but it seems like it to me, and it's also about sleeping. when i first saw the placeholder description you were using i assumed it was fluff, but all the snippets i've seen do not feel very fluffy, so to me it has the Vibes (obviously only as far as i can know so far).

Oh I am gnawing this like a bone.

First- the bells. The sleeping. I don’t believe my will’s quite free. Oh I’m having some sort of brainwave about this.

Now my initial reaction was a I’m-Not-Sure because literally every chapter title I’ve been playing with has been scraped wholesale from a variety of songs by The Wonder Years that found me at the right time. They’re angry, upset ‘what do I do with this broken piece I never asked for’ songs.

The vibe, since you asked, is a two-edged sword. As jamie settles into Richmond, his guard lowers, but with it comes most of the barriers he’d built up over the years, leading to small things triggering smaller memories that weren’t the worst of it, but he’s never had the space to process any of it, so there it fucking is. The first half of the ‘bell.’

But then there’s also Roy Kent, who’s the other bell here, because the only reason this keeps happening is there’s a stupid part in Jamie’s animal brain that associated Roy with being safe in his room with someone looking over him.

In other words I started with a cute idea (aww Jamie sleepy) and then uh. Made it sort of not fluffy at all. Oops.

Except the back half! The back half is pretty soft.

It’s like 1/3 soft!

Anyways back to the song, yes. I’m gnawing on the bone and the bone is telling me there’s something here. Something about how the back half is softer, so maybe the tempo of the music should change.

That said the lyric that jumped out at me most was I didn’t think it was contagious, which. Also fits what’s going on here with Jamie feeling like he should be immune to this by now.

[damelucyjo]

Here we go!

Episode 3 - 4-5-1

Colin finally getting the recognition he deserves!

But I don't think this is the reveal they expected it to be 😂

His boy is cute though...

OMG the false start with the theme 😂😂

YYEAAAAHH!!!!!

Ted thinking he got maths correct then saying 'are' and Roy shaking his head - perfect

Roy fully understanding Ted’s metaphors now!! ONE OF US, ONE OF US!

Perfect reflection on actual conversations had in an office 😂

BEARD’S ACCENT! Kinda hot??

Julie Andrews talk!! And they all fancy her. My people!! 🥰

Fuck yeah Princess Diaries! But how is that a deep cut?? 🤔

They boys are all incredibly cute

Please never change Dani!!

Uh oh. For Isaac to be the one to make that comment 🫣

Paul & Idris I get, but Norm??? Come on Sam

Oop that classic ‘gay sex’ joke 🤔

Rebecca looking fine, as always! (Also this must be where that clip of Hannah, Juno & Jeremy playing ‘kissy shoes’ is from

Shandy’s first question to Rebecca being ‘how tall are you?’ was very funny to me and I don’t know why 😂

Hannah’s face! 😂

Ooo mysterious Rebecca

(I also have thoughts about the ‘I’m late’ line, but I’ll keep it to myself (unless you ask))

That Virginia line had to be for Hannah

The thigh touch 👀

Who the fuck are you? DO NOT DISRESPECT MY BOY LIKE THAT!!

I am living for angry Rebecca

‘Your desk is covered in biscuit crumbs’ fucking dying 😂😂

Zava is incredibly OTT, but I kinda love him

You are the glue 🥹

Apparently they couldn’t get through this scene for laughing and THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE BLOOPERS!!

Is there going to be something to this whole ‘everyone is enamoured by Zava but Rebecca��� thing?

Oh, & Jamie too

Ted popping out from behind him - may be the funniest thing in this episode 🤷🏻‍♀️

HES 25?!?! Wtf 😂🫣

Roy is really making me chuckle in this scene. Brett, I love you 😍

I mean, they’re all brilliant in this scene to be fair

These 3 acting like little kids is amazing. Again BLOOPERS!!

‘He’s tall’ I see you, Trent 😏

Ooo the psychic 👀

They’re testing each other… interesting

Mentioning Sam then telling her Deb told you is not going to help her believe you, Tish 🤔

I don’t understand why Rebecca has gone to see her though if she’s so against it?? She must believe in it even slightly to agree to see her

Am I the only one confused by the sudden odd smell??

‘A shite in nining armour’ 😂

I have many thoughts and feelings about this whole psychic visit, just like everyone else apparently

This whole interview talk and making it viral makes me think Colin’s story is going to come out amongst all this Zava shit

Roy would do an interview for Keeley 🥹🥹 my heart

The boys!! ‘Makes sense’ 😂

This Wordle bit is purely Jason and Brendan. Tell me I’m wrong

Jamie boy is growing up 🥹

Beard being shocked Jamie knew what he was talking about 😂

Rebecca must wear BBP always this season apparently. I ain’t mad at it!

Ted still really knows nothing about football. So real 😂

Apple getting their Tetris promo in 😂😂

So this new guy is just another Ted 👀👀 interesting

Poor Ted

Rebecca being super excited! We love to see it!

Jamie walking in & straight out again. King

Ted internet stalking the new guy. We’ve all been there 😂

Rebecca still thinking about what Tish said 👀

Poor Roy 🥹

I’d be pissed too if I was Jamie!

He got a job!! Things are looking up for the Bar Boys 😂

We love a little flirty flirt moment over food 👀👀

He’s their couples therapist?! I thought he was Henry’s doctor or something 🫣

Why keep mentioning how great Nate is? He’s coaching a team that was already good… what’s he doing??

That fucking tattoo 😂 and playing Jesus Christ Superstar over it. Genius 😂

Love to see a happy Rebecca. She feels like she’s finally winning!

Dani copying Zava 😂😂

More flirting 👀

Issac is so fucking intense 😂

How long have they been together if the boys have never met him before??

REBECCA MIDDLE NAME WELTON!! That is how you show up to your ex’s new restaurant opening!

‘Told you’ what we’re they talking about for that comment?? 👀

Beard & Jane are terrible but Brendan & Phoebe are brilliant!

Poor Jamie

LOVING this bromance developing here

Fucking pre-Madonna 😂😂

I’m excited for this training

Sassy is such a terrible person?? Like, we knew?? But my god woman

I’m very undecided on Shandy…

So is Rebecca, apparently

Hannah & Juno having a whole conversation with no words 🥰 all the awards to both of them!

I just noticed Zava is wearing a t-shirt with his name all over it 😂

Avocado callback 👍🏼

‘Borderline unethical’ says everything about Sassy

Uh oh. Rebecca beginning to panic so she drinks instead. She’s just like me!

Trent’s so cool

I think it’s gonna be important that Trent was the one to spot Colin & Michael

Also fitting ‘everybody knows’ over that part of the scene - genius!

[halfratsalready]

Tagged by @doodling-doodle :)

Last Song: A Little Priest from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2023 Broadway Cast Recording) (Josh Groban and Annaleigh Ashford my parentsss) (technically not last song cuz I’m listening to it now but ya know)

Favorite colors: Red (the blood of angry men) and Black (the dark of ages past) (no seriously those are my favorite colors the Les Mis reference just happens to work)

Last book: Dracula by Bram Stoker

Last movie: Labyrinth (1986)

Last TV show: Will (2017) (genuinely such a good show and nobody knows about it cuz it’s on no streaming services but agh I love it and JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER MY BELOVED)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet

Relationship status: Turning 22 in less than a week and has never even had a crush on anyone

Last thing I googled: Mary Jane Kelly funeral (Mary Jane Kelly was the fifth and final victim of Jack the Ripper and is the inspiration for a musical I’m writing. I try to take a moment on the anniversaries of her death and her funeral to privately honor her memory. I know her funeral was either the day before or after my birthday, but I can never remember which, so I looked it up)

Current obsession: (This is the part where I look like a lunatic oops…) This one show a nearby theme park does at Halloween (I wish I was joking but it occupies my every thought), high key falling back into my Grindeldore obsession (fuck JKR! fortunately the fan content for this ship is 10x better than anything canon can offer so I don’t have to engage with any of her content to engage with the ship, also JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER MY BELOVED), and ngl feeling sort of drained of my JD obsession but hoping that the fic exchange will fix it (fingers crossed)

Looking forward to: A Friendsgiving party, my birthday (sort of, but also scared to turn 22 lol), doing holiday season things with friends, PowerPoint night with friends in January 😈 (also seeing aforementioned theme park Halloween show again next year and Halloween next year in general)

Tagging- you all know the drill, hop in if you wanna, I love reading people’s answers to these :)

ten people i'd like to get to know better

tagged by: @megkuna thanks <333

last song: the phantom of the opera

favorite color: muted green

last book: uhhhhhh oh man i really need to start reading books

last movie: phantom of the opera which i watched with a friend

last tv show: the original star trek which i also watched with a friend

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet, i love sugar too much

relationship status: single and not looking, i'd rather just have more friends

last thing i googled: "how to know if skincare routine is too harsh" my pimples hurt in a Different way now :(

current obsession: probably still mob psycho 100 but it's not what it used to be. yay depression

looking forward to: when my family finally moves into the new house

tagging: @scarecloud69 @disorganised-thoughtss @daneonrainbow @lawful-goof @officialkarinuzumaki @leo-probably @vychodocech @umkayonninay @mocha-blossom @spageddy29 no pressure though <3

[the-firebird69]

It is what they're doing and they will try and get the parcel of mail but they're also threatening our son and they're threatening us and our son is right he does not have a source of income that's reliable and he does not have banking that's reliable and he does not have anything that's a sure thing and it's horror and it's hell for him and these people are dirtbags and slime balls and go around doing this s*** all day long and they don't realize what they're doing and they don't realize that he can't be let to be poor cuz he's kicking everyone's ass if you're over theirs but he's not really at the point where he can have income and stuff these people are a bunch of boobs and think they get stuff so we have to make sure that we let them know they're wrong really that to go in there and spoon feed everybody and make it happen anyways so he's calling and got his wife and making it happen says the card needs to have you in on it too the other one and he says we got both and we're going to do it and we need to have men here and personnel and I'm ordering them and I've done it for a long time and they'll appreciate it and he and he says our son already does and daughter she feels better and we're going to sue people like Jason what an a****** and people who are threatening him it's not right to do so going to make it happen today

Thor Freya

I certainly see something that's that f****** a****** from the laundromat we know who he is it's Jason it's Jamie chomo he does it right in front of him he's going to race after him say where's my mail you stupid idiot and the guy would have to reach in it's probably going to get pulled out pretty soon we're going after him what a f****** loser that guy is

Mac

I mean it too I don't want him to have anything

Hera

We're going to put a stop on all the stuff he's doing I'm going to have other people go after it he's so f****** lame and he's so damn slow and stupid and the ship was taken by someone else and they don't like Dan and it's probably bja and it's his crew it's not the stupid f****** fat slob who manages to get shot down there and Mexico cuz he's a fat ignorant slob he doesn't do anything

Thor Freya

I'll tell you what I'm not the one doing it because I can't I don't know the technology at all new people can go screw I've got a piece of mail here if you want it but you have to come take it and remember I'm armed Jason says

You're not armed we went through it with you we told you not to do what you did and we're going to go after you he was an eyeballing you he's sitting there waiting trying to deliver obscure and he was a distance away now you're a liar and you're going to go to jail for it sometimes you get burned

Mac.

Good I'm getting burned for his mail and so right thing to do he's mean and angry he says because of us and it's true we say there's no right to oops of course he says that's absurd their fools and you're doing the wrong thing the whole time and you're just stupid and don't know what to do and threatening me and you're threatening my personal stuff he adds so you're going to pay for it in ways that you don't think possible I'm going to go after your pockets of little s**** because of what you're doing now he's saying this and it happens post it and it happens a lot more so I'm going to thank him by trying to tear it up

Jason

I don't care about a statement Jason it says $0 and the credit card company is going to go after you and the FEDS

Zues

I don't care about that either I'm sitting here in person to get a mailman they said

Jason

Now the whole street has to put up with this f****** malarkey and it's cuz of you Jason and we're going to go after you and we're going to get the mail to people cuz you're holding our mail too you piece of dumb s***

Bja

I've had it too you're that a****** flying around with a discharge discusses the Earth cuz you're stupid you're trying to blame BGA but it's your dumb f****** crap and you're the one leaning on the Epcot center we're going after you we know about the stuff you got damn piece of s***

Trump

Oh so you see what this pain in the ass is doing he's trying to touch my bike and mess with it the whole time walks right up to it and stuff now I'm telling you what I'm thinking I'm going to clock that f***** and then take him down and he's a p**** to begin with and I clean his clock and people are going to go after all you more like if I dust him

They're already going after tons of you cuz of Dan attacking me and losing it's stupid f****** crap broke his rib and he died in the hospital everybody knows about it and it's killing you off in the hospitals

Zues Hera

I figured out something too him calling us with us going to get you because you're out of the f****** post office in federal jobs it's going to be blamed on you Jason

Mac

I'll see you up there you loser I'm going to try and get over here and teach him a lesson

Jason

F*** you you lousy ingrate you're a piece of God damn garbage we should never let your family near ours you're such a hokey dirty piece of s*** you don't know anything and you aren't friends of ours at all you're out buddy completely and so is Lily we're going to court and going to take her name off the f****** list of being our family you f****** failure piece of s*** f****** loser

Zues Hera

We're going to court now I'm going to take Lily out of the family cuz she's not a real family member and she was spying it does not have her mother's DNA in any way it's someone else and we're going to do it now as a matter of fact and we're going to paste it to you Jason that you ruined it and you ruined the relationship cuz you can't deliver a piece of mail cuz you're such a p****

I'm going to sue the living s*** out of you for what you been doing to him

Bitol and Goddess Wife

[squipdop]

"You weren't there," said Camilo, "You could have helped. You could have protected us. You could have taken us away from here - you could have done anything.  But you didn't. You watched every second and you didn’t lift a finger. And now you wanna come back into our lives like nothing happened and tell us what to do?"

Bruno was backed up against the wall. Camilo hadn't realized he was closing in until he was already there, staring his uncle in the face.

"You don't know me. You're not my family. I'm not doing anything for you."

- When the Cat’s Away by @cheetee

im absolutely in love with cheetees “Encanto TV episodes from another timeline” series, and especially this scene from WtCA just... stuck with me so i had to draw fanart,, i hope you like it, cheetee!! thank you for writing your amazing stories!!

pls click for better quality!!

[goldoradove]

Jamie:  However, my party, my rules.  I get to choose the guest list.  I get to choose the location.  No drinking.  No drugs.

Nora:  But— but this is your last chance to have some fun before you leave.  You’re throwing away an opportunity to—

Jamie:  Nora, listen.  I’m the last kid in the family, the last to leave the nest, and I want to celebrate with my mom.  This party is for her just as much as it’s for me.  I don’t want her to worry about my morals or safety or anything.  I just want her to be happy.  Is that so much to ask?

[quindolyn]

Wanna Hear You || James Potter

Word Count: 1497

Notes: This was not proof read, oops. But I know people wanted more sub!James so I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: smut, mommy kink, sub!James, riding, I believe thats about it

Masterlist

James was gorgeous, propping himself up above you on his forearms, rutting into you, hitting a spot deep inside of you that you didn’t even know existed until you had met James.

“Jamie!” His name left your mouth in a moan as you locked your ankles together on the small of the man’s back, your hands reaching up to scratch your fingernails up and down his shoulder blades. “Feels so good, Jamie, making me feel so good.”

The praise spurred the raven haired man on, encouraging him to speed up his thrusts, the head of his cock brushing a sensitive spot inside of you making you jolt in his grasp, moving your hands to paw at his rippling biceps.

The pleasure began to build in the pit of your stomach, the combined sensations of your body rubbing up against the sheets with each thrust and Jamie pressing further and further into you as you leaned upwards to slot your lips against his, drinking him in like ambrosia.

An idea hit you and in an instant, you had flipped the two of you. James’ body lying against the red sheets, his angry red shoulders melding uncomfortably with the admittedly soft fabric of the sheets. 

You smiled down at him, huffing and puffing trying to catch his breath, his cock still buried deep inside of your warm, slick cunt which was pulsing around his length. Teasing him, hinting at the vice-like grip he knew you were capable of.

“Hi pretty boy,” You murmured, running your hands up and down his chest, pausing at his nipples to tweak them, watching his face contort in pleasure and his mouth take on the shape of an “O” at the subtle stimulation.

His large, calloused hands found your hips, hinting to you that he wanted you to move, but you weren’t going to let him off that easily.

“What, Jamie? Tell me what you want.” Your demand was stern but kind as you brushed the hair out of his face, allowing you to get a better look at his flushed, beautiful face. 

“Want you to ride me,” He whined, bucking his hips up into yours.

“Come on baby, ask nicely.”

Huffing, he let his hands give your hips one final squeeze, “Ride me please darling, want you to bounce up and down on my cock please, need you, pretty please.”

“Now that’s a good boy,” You extolled, his begging triggering you to shiver as pleasure raced through your veins. Bracing yourself by planing your hands on his waist before lifting yourself off of his member so that just the tip of his prick remained inside of you. The sensitive head, red and leaking inside of your walls.

“Can you help me Jamsie? Can you help me ride you?” 

His response came in the form of a muffled groan and the nodding of his head as his hands found their way to your bum, using his hold on your supple flesh to assist you in your efforts. 

Breathy moans escaping your lips mingled with the grunts and mutterings of James from beneath you. Through the combination of the noises, and your concentration on the waves of euphoria rolling through you as the new position allowed for a different angle allowing Jame’s to press up against your g-spot with every single thrust, you almost didn’t hear the distinct words leaving his mouth.

Almost.

“What was that baby?” 

He didn’t respond, instead turning his head, trying to nuzzle into the sheets to hide his blushing face from you.

“Nu uh,” You scolded, turning his head to face you, squishing his cheeks together in your grip, using the pad of your thumb to rub the saliva leaking out of his lips all over the pretty pink cushions. “Answer me baby, what did you say?”

After a beat he still hadn’t responded, resulting in you tightening your hold on him, “Say it Jamie, what did you say?”

After a moment of intense eye contact before James realizes you’re not going to relent and gulps before confessing, “You make me feel so good Mommy.”

Oh holy fuck.

“Say it again,” You commanded, picking up your speed, “Wanna hear you.”

“M-Mommy.”

The moan that left your mouth rang through your apartment as your clit rubbed against his pubic bone sending truly delicious waves of ecstasy through your core and through out the rest of your body, leaving your limbs feeling like someone has set them on fire. “Such a good boy for me, Mommy’s good boy.”

“Wanna be your good boy Mommy,” He whimpered, thrusting his hips upwards once again to be deeper inside of you.

“You are baby,” You soothed, leaning down to smooth a kiss along his cupid’s bow. Even though 5 minutes ago you could’ve sworn you were ready to go another half an hour before your orgasm hit you, but James calling you mommy had spurred you on beyond belief. “Gonna make Mommy cum pretty boy, gonna make her make a mess all over your cock. You want that baby?”

He nodded his head vigorously, gritting his teeth together as he threw his head back into the mattress, arcing his back in order to be as deep inside of you as possible. “Wanna hear you baby tell me what you want.”

“Wanna make you cum Mommy, want you to make a mess on my cock. Please Mommy, let me make you cum.���

A dry laugh left your lips at his desperation, he was so pretty begging for you, for your body. And to top it all off he wasn’t even begging to cum himself, he was perfectly content with getting you off. 

“You’re gonna make me cum Jamie! Doing such a good job at making me feel good, you’re such a good boy.”

He whined at the praise, it spurring him on as he bucked into you again, the tip of his cock brushing your cervix.

“Oh fuck baby, I’m gonna cum!” You screamed as you tipped over the edge of pleasure, it wrapping around you and squeezing you similar to how you assumed you were squeezing around James’ length. 

Black ebbed at your vision as you rode out your orgasm, somehow finding the strength within yourself to continue to ride the man beneath you. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears but the sound began to quiet as you came back. Quickly noticing Jamie beneath you, panting heavily, his eyes glued to your face.

“Did you cum darling?” You managed out through deep inhales.

“No Mommy,” He gritted out, his thighs trembling in the effort not to cum, not without your permission, to continue to be your good boy.

“Why not baby?”

“Because you didn’t say I could Mommy,” He whimpered, his hands balling the sheets up in his fists.

“No, I didn’t, such a good boy for waiting.” As the praise rolled off your lips a ginormous grin overtook his face. “Do you wanna cum now baby?”

“Yes Mommy,” He nodded desperately, his eyes shining at the mere prospect of getting his release.

“Alright baby then cum, go ahead and cum inside me.” You encouraged, resuming your movements up and down his cock, loving the friction of his cock slipping in and out of your sensitive cunt. 

James was always vocal when he came, and this was no exception. “Gonna cum Mommy, gonna cum.”

“Do it baby, cum inside of me.” You ran your delicate fingers through his hair again, smiling as you felt him release his load into you, painting your walls in his release. You stayed fully sheathed on top of him, waiting for him to come back to you, which you assisted him in doing by unclenching one of his hands from the sheets, interlocking his fingers with yours. 

“Hey baby,” You crooned, as he blinked his eyes open. “Did such a good job for me, yeah?”

“Was I your good boy Mommy?”

“Always,” You punctuated your affirmation with a delicate kiss to his nose, “Loved you calling me Mommy,” Your kisses trailed down his face to his jaw line where you began sucking hues of purple and blue into his flesh before dragging your teeth over them, delighting in the way he winced and shivered. 

“Really?” He asked, sounding nervous, “It wasn’t weird or anything?”

“Of course not baby,” You leaned back a little bit to take in the entirety of his appearance, black tresses tangled and splayed out against the bed, face flushed as he panted, marks beginning to take shape on his jaw and neck. “Gotta clean you up now baby,” You said, easing yourself off of him.

But James wasn’t having it as he pulled you back down on top of him so that your naked chests were pressed together. “No,” His voice was muffled as he buried his face in your hair, “Wanna stay right here.”

“Okay then baby,” You giggled, nuzzling deeper into his chest.

“I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Jamsie.”

tagging: @randomoutsiders​ @weasleyposts​ @kittykylax​ @amourtentiaa​​

[peachy-panic]

Hi! Just came by to make sure I didn’t miss anything and fangirl all over your page.

Sooooo…can we get Jamie a nice warm mug of hot chocolate or something? Poor baby boy, so resigned, breaks my heart! He does need some comfort!

I know a certain anxious, red-haired doctor who would walk over hot coals to bring that boy a mug of hot cocoa. You know what, why don’t I just…

(EDIT: OOPS I really didn’t mean for this to turn into a long thing but here we are)

DOCTOR’S ORDERS

His patient is sleeping, but he’s beginning to stir. Sebastian has begun to recognize his sleep patterns as well as his own after monitoring him for a week straight. He has stayed late every single night, sometimes falling asleep in the vinyl chair at his bedside long enough to justify showering in the faculty locker room and going straight back to work the next morning. It’s not like he’s missing anything in his lonely apartment. His bleeding heart would stay here anyway.

Tonight is the last of the boy’s mandatory stay in the overnight ward, and Sebastian could cry at the prospect of handing him back over tomorrow morning.

Dr. Greer is gone for the evening. There is a girl with a broken arm three beds down, a boy with thirty-two stitches down his back that Sebastian sutured himself, and then there is him. A night nurse pops in every few minutes, taking down notes on charts and checking bandages. Sebastian hasn’t moved from his chair in hours.

He’s been staring at the hand; the one that’s slashed-through with a bright, angry line of red that Sebastian put there. His mind spirals down a hundred different tracks at once. The things he could have done differently to spare him pain. The idea of permanent damage to his nerves and function. The consequences something permanent like that might have on someone whose entire value is determined by his ability to serve.

When the hand starts to curl and flex, that’s when he knows he is waking up. Sebastian pulls in a breath and sits up straight, flattening his hair to give the appearance of someone who has not been slumped uselessly in a chair for hours on end, watching him sleep like a crazy person.

His eyes crack open, blinking slowly as he grounds himself. Sebastian doesn’t think about what it must be like to open your eyes to the kind of reality he exists in every time he wakes up.

“Hey,” Sebastian says softly, determinedly keeping his hands to himself. Jaime—if that is in fact his name—looks to him at the sound of his voice, that familiar, resigned glaze falling over his eyes.

“Hi,” he says weakly.

Sebastian lifts a small, plastic tray from the table beside the bed. “It’s late. You slept through dinner,” he explains. “I didn’t wake you because I figured you could use the rest more than the food. Are you… hungry?”

His eyes move from Sebastian to the sad plate of food—white rice and a slab of meat that he thinks is supposed to resemble an unseasoned chicken breast. Jaime nods.

There’s a moment of pause before Sebastian remembers—with a spike of nausea—the protocol. “You can eat,” he says. “Please. You should. As much as you want.”

He watches him reach for the fork with his injured hand before he stops, jaw tightening, and picks it up with his other one. The first bite is shaky but Sebastian is relieved when it reaches his mouth. He tries not to stare.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian blurts, about a minute into the silence. Jaime’s jaw freezes mid-chew, looking up at him. “For the food,” he adds quickly. “It doesn’t look… well, appetizing.”

Jaime swallows, the lump in the front of his throat bobbing. “It’s fine, Dr. Tate. Thank you.”

What did he expect him to say? Sebastian scratches the back of his neck, wishing he had thought to pack some extra food with his dinner tonight. He almost makes a mental note to do so tomorrow, until he remembers Jaime will no longer be in his ward. He just… wishes there is something he could give him. Anything, just to take the edge off the unending cruelty he is served in this place.

And then he has an idea.

The chair scrapes against the tile as he stands abruptly, making his patient flinch. “Sorry,” Sebastian says. “I’ll… I’ll be right back, okay?”

He takes the stairs two at a time to the second floor, relieved to find the break room empty. He rifles through the cabinet above the coffee station. He knows he’s seen it here before, always catches passing glance at the back of the shelf when he reaches for a new coffee pod and—

Aha. There.

He pulls a packet of hot chocolate mix out of the box and returns it to the shelf.

The break room doesn’t have the ingredients he would normally use to make it the way he likes, but beggars can’t be choosers. Instead of simmering hot milk over the stovetop with a splash of heavy cream and some chocolate chips, he makes do with a microwave, a company-branded cup, and some tap water. Still, he makes the drink with the same care and precision he might give to a medical procedure, making sure it’s as perfect as its circumstances allow it to be.

Jaime is sitting upright when he comes back down to the ward, watching him with guarded confusion. Sebastian takes a cautionary look around, making sure they’re alone.

“I guess I should have asked first,” Sebastian says, approaching his bedside. “How do you feel about hot chocolate?”

Only then does Jaime seem to notice the cup in his hand. “I… It’s been a while,” he says. “I like it, I think?”

Sebastian hates the way he says it as if he’s looking for his permission to say yes, but he doesn’t let himself get caught up on it. “Well,” he says, setting the mug down on the tray beside Jaime’s dinner, “I can almost promise you this is not going to be the best cup of it you’ve ever had in your life, but it’s the best I can do with an instant packet from the staff lounge.”

Jaime stares at the cup like it might come to life on the tray. He blinks hard, then looks back up at Sebastian. Like it’s a test. “This is for me?” he asks.

He smiles. “All yours.”

His hands are still in his lap, unmoving. He looks back at the cup. “I’m not sure… I don’t think I’m supposed to have this?” he says quietly. “Handler… Handler Smith has to sign off on anything that deviates from my nutrition plan during training.”

“Not while you’re here, he doesn’t.” Sebastian’s voice probably comes out a little too harsh, so he tries to pull it back. “You’re in clinical custody right now. That means the attending doctor on site gets to make the call about dietary restrictions, and since Greer isn’t here…” He looks around the room once again for show, then leans forward and nudges the cup toward Jaime. He smiles again, a little softer this time. “Doctor’s orders.”

He doesn’t catch the potential trigger of the word choice until it’s already left his mouth, but he doesn’t have time to spiral about it because Jaime’s hand reaches out and wraps around the warmth of the cup. Sebastian watches in damn near tears as he lifts the rim to his mouth and takes the smallest sip.

When he brings it down, he is smiling back at him.

***

Do No Harm TAG LIST: @whumpervescence @shiningstarofwinter @distinctlywhumpthing @whumptywhumpdump @nicolepascaline @anotherbluntpencil @hold-him-down @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @batfacedliar @thecyrulik @pumpkin-spice-whump  @melancholy-in-the-morning @also-finder-of-rings @insaneinthepaingame @skyhawkwolf @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

[thirstyandbeautiful]

June Drabbles Masterlist!

or when all the wonderful hoes chose a driver and some inspirational quotes and put the hoe fairy to work...

Lewis

“Find Me Again” (Royalty!AU, now developed into a new fic!) 

Lando

Oops in the Morning 

“You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.” 

“You’re Really Warm”

“Are you blushing?”

2AM 

“I know it’s 2 in the morning, but do you want to...”

Lance

Baku SUCKS, but Lance’s tires suck way more... 

“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

Mick

Sideways Snuggles (Drunk!Mick)

“You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

“Your hair is really soft.”

The Sleepover That Ended Your Friendship

“Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

Baku SUCKS, but an angry Mick makes it kinda worth it... 

“Every time I think I’m close to finally figuring you out, you end up surprising me.”

Jamie

The Best Way to Wake Up 

“I’m quite comfortable here.”

“It looks good on you.”

Covergirl 

“Well, I can scratch that off my bucket list.”

“Is somebody jealous?”

Any Driver

Breaking Up

“I would’ve done anything for you.”

Daniel

Rain Clouds

“Could you please just hold me?” 

No Takebacks

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t plan on doing that.”

Shortstack

“You say you hate it but your red face is telling me otherwise.”

Hammock Hangs

“You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

Ruining Your Soulmates (Aussies!Drabble)

“I’m pretty sure they’re my soulmates.”

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Why are you scared of loving?”

A Good Scare 

“Well, I can scratch that off my bucket list.”

Home

“Home stopped being a placed when you entered my life.”

“You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of my League [Part 5]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 4.1k

Summary: A night out with the team leaves you and Spencer with so much unsaid, despite how much he spills to you while you’re drunk and half asleep. 

Warning(s): Mentions of past addiction, alcohol consumption, some swear words, mentions of past bullying, EXTREME PINING

Author’s Note: I told yall this chapter wouldn’t take 10 years. just like... a week and a half. I promise I’ll do better lmao also enjoy the fluff cuz uh,, yall are gonna hate me next chapter oops

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington D.C., 2009

(Reader POV)

Rossi’s dinner party would not be the last time Spencer had to drive your drunk ass home. It happened two or three in the two years since that night. Dave meant it when he said you were one of them. Whenever they went out for drinks after a case, you would get a text from one of the girls asking if you wanted to come. Your mom living a few blocks away from you was helpful because you just needed to drop Jamie off and head over to O’Keefe’s. You very rarely went overboard because you normally had to drive home, but tonight was not one of those nights.

The team had just gotten back from a local case in Bethesda, so Emily offered to pick you up on her way back. Hotch gave them all the rest of the night off after they made the arrest, but Spencer, always the workaholic, still wanted to finish up his paperwork before going out. 

Your mom came to get Jamie and take him back to her house, so you were free to get all dressed up for a night on the town with your friends. You didn’t want to look too formal since most of them were still going to be in their work clothes, so you got out a cute green button-down blouse and tucked it into some high-waisted jeans. You put on your favorite locket and let your hair down. You went with a light makeup look, just brows, cheeks, and lashes. You were all set by the time Emily pulled up in front of your place. You strapped up your wedges and grabbed your purse, heading out the door, excited to see everyone after they’d been so busy.

“Hey! You look nice!”

“And you’re not so bad for fresh off a crime scene.”

“Should’ve seen me catch the guy, I looked amazing.”

“I’m sure you did, Em.”

Emily told you about the case, or rather just the ending. You only liked to hear her stories when they had happy endings. This one was pleasant enough, but you had a feeling that she was leaving some details out since it was apparently so bad that even Spencer would be tagging along for drinks.

When you got to the bar, Derek and Penelope were already sitting at a booth in the back with Aaron and Dave. Penelope hopped up from her seat to give you a hug as soon as you approached the table. 

“Hey, there she is,” Morgan smiled over his beer.

“Reid’s not driving tonight?” Aaron asked.

“He texted me, he’s on his way, he wanted to finish his paperwork back at the precinct.” 

“So what I’m hearing is you finally have time to tell us stories about Reid in high school,” Dave said with a smirk.

“No, come on, he’ll kill me,” you settled into the booth.

Emily snorted, “I’d be surprised if he even found it in him to be mad at you.”

“Oh, it’s happened before.” Your face scrunched up at the memory of what happened that day on the football field.

“Really?” Penelope seemed shocked.

“Yeah I’d… Rather not talk about it.” You didn’t know if Spencer had told the team about the Alexa Lisbon incident, so you didn’t want to talk about how he had been so angry with you for babying him. 

“Oh, come on, the kid was in love with you,” Derek prodded, “What’d you do?”

You elected to ignore his comment, “No, it was just stupid.” You could still talk about Kyle, though. The team knew the story of how you’d met Spencer, they just didn’t know about how upset he was when he found out you got back together with Kyle just a few months after you dumped him.

“We love hearing about the stupid things you did!” Garcia squealed.

You stared at the table and fiddled with a napkin to avoid eye contact as you said, “I dated one of his bullies.”

Dave was the first to break the silence, “But Reid said you broke up with him when you found out.”

You bit your lip and hesitated before owning up to it, “Did he tell you that Kyle is Jamie’s dad?”

Emily gasped, “No way!”

“We barely spoke outside of tutoring after that between him being scared of Kyle and basketball season. We were both busy with our teams.”

“Reid played basketball?” Aaron asked, amused.

“He was the coach.” You managed to crack a slight smile, “Budget cuts. But, hey, it was for the best, that was our best season in years.”

“Hard to believe he could focus on strategy with you cheering from the sidelines.” Derek wiggled his eyebrows and took another sip of his beer.

You were quick to change the subject, “So is JJ coming?”

Emily shook her head, “She went home after the case cuz she missed Henry.”

“Oh that boy is the sweetest little thing, I miss when Jamie was that little.”

Aaron sipped his whiskey, “How old is he again?”

“Ten. I’m old, don’t remind me, it’s fucking me up.”

“Ah! Language, bella.”

“Sorry Dave. But speaking of getting effed up, I’ll go get the next round.” You stood and took everyone’s drink orders: Dave and Aaron were sharing an expensive bottle that Dave had already paid for, Emily wanted a martini, Derek just asked for another beer, while Penelope ordered the most elaborate cocktail on the menu, but luckily it was her usual, so you had it pretty much memorized by now. 

You strolled up to the bar and gave the bartender the order, which he got right on. He started with giving you Derek’s beer, then Em’s martini, then your rum and coke, before getting to work on Penelope’s ridiculously fruity drink. An older man stalked into your field of view with a beer in his hand, grinning dumbly. 

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

You snorted, “Has that line ever worked?”

“Truth be told, I’ve never used it.”

“Well you don’t have a great success rate right now, bud.” You looked over the man’s shoulder and made eye contact with Penelope, who turned to Derek and gave him a heads up.

“Well let me buy you a drink, maybe it’ll work better the second time around.”

“Oh, no, thank y—”

“No, come on, what’s one drink?”

You grabbed the tray with everyone’s drinks and started to pass him, “I should really get back to my friends.”

“Hey, I won’t keep you long,” He caught you by the arm and the last thing you saw before he turned you to face him again was Penelope leaping up from her seat to let Derek through, “what are you drinking?”

“Babygirl, how long does a beer take?” Derek stepped up behind you and placed a delicate hand on the small of your back, “This guy bothering you, doll?”

The man dropped his hand from your arm, “We were just talking.”

“Really? ‘Cuz to me it seems like you were trying to put the moves on my girl.”

“Babe, it’s fine,” you caught on quickly, placing a hand on Derek’s chest to keep up the ruse of holding him back, “I’m just waiting for Pen’s drink.”

“Get the hell out of here, man.” Derek glares and the other man leaves reluctantly. “You okay?”

You nodded, “Thank you.”

“Hey, no problem, sweetheart.” He withdrew his hand from the small of your back, “Wouldn’t want Pretty Boy to get jealous.”

You felt your face heat up as your eyebrows knit together, feigning confusion.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you can’t seriously tell me you don’t see it.”

You played dumb, “See what?”

He sips his beer, “You don’t need to be a profiler to see the way he looks at you, Y/N.”

“Oh, god, first my mother, now you too?”

“I’m serious, I’ve only seen him like this one other time.”

“When?”

“On a case a few years ago. There was this actress we were helping out, Lila Archer.”

“Lila Archer? The Lila Archer?”

“Yeah, she had a little crush on Reid for a bit. They made out once.”

“They what?”

He laughed, “What’re ya jealous?”

“No!” Maybe? “It just seems so unprofessional, I wouldn’t have pegged him for a guy who would--”

“Hook up with a movie star? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. It didn’t work out with them, obviously, he said she only felt that way about him because he saved her life.”

“What does this have to do with me?”

“Ever thought about how you protecting him his whole life may have had a similar effect?”

“Showing him basic human decency didn’t make him fall in love with me, Derek.”

“No, but saving his life did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think that’s more of a question for Pretty Boy himself.” Derek nodded his chin over your shoulder. You followed his gaze and saw Spencer coming up behind you, grinning as he neared the bar.

“Hey.”

“Hey, haircut! Lookin’ good!” Your fingers laced through his shaggy locks and messed up his new boy band-esque style.

 A faint blush spread across his cheeks as he fixed his hair, “T-Thanks.”

“When you lovebirds feel like talking to the rest of us, I’ll be at the table with the rest of the team.”

You roll your eyes and turn back to the lanky boy next to you, “Lemme buy you a drink, Spence.” 

“Oh, no thank you. I’m driving. And also did you know--”

“You can just say you don’t want it.”

“No, I do. That’s the problem.”

Your face contorted with confusion until it suddenly clicked, “Oh… Has that ever been a problem for you before?”

“Not anymore, and not alcohol, but yeah.”

“Wait, Spence, why didn’t you tell me? I-I’m not mad, it’s your choice, obviously, but I could have helped.”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“Remember that one time I was too sick to talk on our Saturday call?”

“Yeah?”

“I had just gotten back from a case in New Orleans. Remember Ethan from school?”

You nodded, holding onto every word.

“He’s in a jazz band down there now. He talked me into getting help. When you called, I was at the lowest point of withdrawals, shaking so hard I couldn’t sleep, and completely alone. I almost didn’t pick up, but I knew you wouldn’t accept that,” he laughed nervously, “and when I heard your voice…”

He trailed off, finally meeting your eyes.

“When I said I wasn’t feeling well, you said ‘I’m putting Jamie down for the night, wanna hear his bedtime story?’”

You both found yourselves smiling slightly at the memory. 

“Not once, during any book I’ve read, had I fallen asleep so easily as I did when you read me The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”

He took a deep breath, almost shuddering, “It was the first time I slept without nightmares since Tobias Hankle.”

You remembered that name. He’d come up in conversations from time to time but you never heard anything about his case. He was always a touchy subject for the team, and now you knew why.

“How long ago was this?”

“Almost three years ago.” He didn’t even have to think about it.

“Spence, you could have told me. You can tell me anything.”

“Anything?” He gulped.

You reached for his hand on the bar and felt it tense under your touch. You’d think after how long you’d known him his touch aversion wouldn’t be an issue with you anymore, but apparently not. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you withdrew your hand as if you burnt your hand on a hot stove and let out an awkward scoff, turning away to look back at your friends, who tried and failed miserably at making it look like they weren’t watching you and Spencer. 

“We should…”

“Yeah… w-we should.” Spencer passed you and sat down next to Derek in the booth, leaving you in your usual spot next to Emily with your first of many drinks that night.

            3 Hours Later

(Spencer’s POV)

I helped her into my car and buckled her up after she couldn’t find the seatbelt. When I got into the driver’s seat, I glanced at her to see if she was still conscious, only to see her dopey smile directed at me.

“What?” I laughed nervously.

“Nothing,” she slurred, dragging out the ‘ing’ and turning her head towards the window.

“You okay?”

She nodded and leaned her head against the glass as I pulled out of the parking lot. She was quiet for the most part during the drive, so I assumed she was asleep, so imagine my shock when she piped up as soon as I parked in front of her place.

“Can you walk me in?” she asked as if I could say no to her.

“Of course.” I was going to regardless. I helped her out of the car and she stood on wobbly legs. She groaned and looked at her feet. 

“Hold this.” She shoved her purse into my arms and placed a hand on my shoulder and hopped up to take off one of her heels, tossing it onto her seat before repeating her actions on her other shoe. She grabbed the pair and marched up the path to her front door. I trailed close behind, just in case she stumbled, which she did. 

She fumbled for her key when she suddenly remembered that I had her purse. I dug through the pockets and fished it out, tossing it to her once I got close enough. She instantly giggled as soon as I met her eyes.

“What’s so funny now?”

“Nothing, Spence,” she failed to stifle a smile as she tried to open the door, “You have nothing to worry about.”

I stepped in beside her, “Well you’ve been awfully quiet since we left and now you’re laughing at me!”

“I’m just thinking!”

“That can’t be good,” I joked, prompting her to lightly slap my arm, “Kidding! What are you thinking about?”

“Don’t worry about it!”

“No, now I’m curious!”

“Just something stupid Derek said before you came tonight.”

“Oh jeez, now I have to know.” She climbed up the staircase and down the hallway in front of her bedroom. She twisted the knob and pushed open the door. I stepped in after her and placed her purse down on the dresser. She flopped down on the bed, shuffling under the covers, not even bothering to change out of the clothes she wore to the bar. I grinned down at her. She looked like an angel snuggled up in the sheets.

“Comfy?”

“Very.”

“Good. Call me if you need anything, Y/N,” I started to walk towards the door.

“Did you have a crush on me in high school?”

I paused.

“W-Where’d you get that from?” Nice job, genius, that doesn’t sound guilty at all.

“That’s what Derek said.” She was now sitting up in bed.

Okay, but how did he know that?

“How did this come up exactly?”

She explained how the team was trying to get her to tell them embarrassing stories about me as a kid (sidenote: not cool, guys) and my dear old friend Kyle came up. She said that Morgan brought up transference, where a person experiences something traumatic and associates their “hero” with safety and feelings of relief after being helped.

“He said one girl you helped in a case had feelings for you and the way you explained transference to Derek sounded like you were speaking from experience.”

Great. This is what I get for only having friends on the team. My best guy friend is also a profiler who can read me like a book. Awesome.

I let out a deep sigh and sat down in the chair next to her bed, “I was.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Yeah. Because that’s where it all started for me. A pretty girl told off one of my bullies and showed me basic human decency--”

“Aw, Spence, you thought I was pretty?” She teased, eliciting a chuckle from me.

“Of course I did. Y/N, you were the head cheerleader that came to me for help with chemistry and tousled my hair and bought me McDonald’s whenever our study sessions ran late. To twelve-year-old Spencer you were this perfect, unattainable princess--”

“Princess?” She giggled and it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard, “I like that.”

“Yep.” I laughed with her, “A princess who lived in a beautiful castle with posters on the walls and sparkly beads on the curtains and Doctor Who playing on the TV and a mom that always invited me to stay for dinner and I’m rambling again but that’s perfectly fine with you because you actually cared about what I had to say, especially when I would talk about Shakespeare because A Midsummer Night’s Dream was your favorite assigned reading and--” I stopped myself before it slipped out. 

I love you. I’ve said it a million times to her in a million different ways but I knew at that moment that if I said the actual words that I wouldn’t be able to take them back, not that I would ever want to, I just want her to be present when I told her the first time. If I said it now it would be the first time she’d hear it from me and she wouldn’t even remember it when she woke up.

“And what?” She still smiled at me so brightly that the dimly lit room was lit up by the gleam in her eyes.

I smiled back, “You’re my best friend.”

Her grin somehow grew wider, her eyes scrunching up, but the sparkle was still there, “You’re my best friend too.”

If I hadn’t already decided against it, I would have said it then. I would have repeated those words over and over again until the words lost all meaning, only they never would because they felt like they meant the world to me. But I wouldn’t let myself start. Instead, I just looked at her like she was the moon and stars and all the space in between and said, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Spence, wait,” she murmured, further burying herself in her covers.

“What now?” I whined, the smile still present on my face.

“I think you’re pretty too.” 

It had never been harder for me to resist the urge to kiss her than in that moment. Every fiber of my being screamed to sit back down, lean over her pillow, take her face in my hands, and crash my lips to hers. And for a split second, I thought I would. I almost did. I almost gave myself everything I had ever wanted for sixteen years, four months, and eleven days, but I couldn’t.

“And I think you’re drunk.”

“Spencer Reid!” She squealed, “Just cuz I’m drunk does not mean that you aren’t pretty!”

“Oh really?”

“Yep! ‘Cuz guess what, genius?”

“What?”

“I think you’re pretty when I’m sober, too.”

If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was trying to drive me insane. And you know what?

It was working.

While I was lost in my thoughts, no doubt staring at her, she let out a tiny yawn and snuggled deeper into her pillow. A piece of hair fell in front of her eyes, hooded yet still shining. I brushed the hair out of her face and told her to get some rest.

“Good idea. I’m sleepy,” she dragged out the e and yawned again, “Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, princess.” I chuckled softly. My fingers still lingered just behind her ear, so I stroked her hair once more and pressed a small kiss to her forehead once I was sure she was asleep. Her cheeks twitched in a barely conscious smile, making me grateful for my eidetic memory again. I went to the kitchen and took a glass from the cabinet, filling it up in the sink and placing it on the nightstand with some aspirin.

I took a sheet of some stationery and scrawled out a note for her in the morning:

Make sure you stay hydrated. There’s more aspirin in your cabinet but wait a few hours to take it. Call me if you need anything. -S.R.

            The Next Morning

(Reader’s POV)

The coffee machine made too much noise. Your head was pounding despite the fact you took an aspirin a few minutes ago. Now you played the waiting game, hoping it would kick in soon. When the pot was finally done, you poured yourself a cup, hoping it would help wake you up. You normally wouldn’t drink coffee this late, but you needed it. Just as you took your first sip, your mom came through the front door with Jamie in tow carrying his pajamas in a shopping bag. He said good morning to you and ran upstairs to his room.

“Did you just wake up?” 

“Yes.”

“Y/N, it’s almost noon.” You could hear the judgment in her voice.

You took a sip of coffee, “It’s 11:05.”

“I take it you had fun at O’Keefe’s last night?”

“Yeah,” you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

“How’d you get home?”

“Spence drove me.”

Her eyes widened, excited. She lowered her voice to ask, “Is he still here?”

“Mom!” You whisper-yelled.

“I was just checking!”

“No, he’s not, he dropped me off and went home.” You decided to leave out the whole “putting you to bed” part.

“How’s your hangover?”

“Better with aspirin.”

“Have you been drinking water?”

“A little,” you lied.

“No more coffee until you finish a glass.” She took your mug and dumped its contents down the drain.

“Wh—” You start, “Mom, I’m not a kid.”

“Just drink your damn water.”

“Jesus,” you groan, still making your way to the stairs and heading up to your room, where your water had been put on your nightstand the night before. Under the glass was a note that you didn’t notice when you first woke up. You recognized the chicken scratch handwriting immediately: Spencer.

“Make sure you stay hydrated. There’s more aspirin in your cabinet but wait a few hours to take it. Call me if you need anything. -S.R.”

You smiled as you read the words over and over. You put the note down and took a sip from the glass. You reached over to your phone on the nightstand and dialed his number. It rang twice before Spencer’s voice crackled over the speaker, “Hey, how’re you feeling?”

“Better, thank you.”

“Of course. Did you drink the water I gave you last night?”

“Some of it.”

“Good, did you eat?”

“No.”

“I’m going on my lunch break in a bit, wanna meet up?”

Your heart fluttered at the offer, a small grin tugging at your lips. You nodded, unable to find words enthusiastic enough to express how much you’d like that, before settling on “Yeah! Sounds good!”

“Perfect! There’s a new thai place downtown I’ve been meaning to check out, how about there?”

“Sure! I’ll meet you at Quantico?”

“See you then!”

“Bye,” you all but sighed into the receiver before snapping out of it. You always tried to keep that part of you beneath the surface, but it wasn’t as easy as it used to be. You didn’t remember much from last night, but you did remember calling him pretty boy and making him blush. You remember him tucking you in and calling you princess and brushing your hair out of your eyes. You remembered how your chest swelled with light as he pressed his lips to your forehead, and the soft chuckle he let out seeing you smile against your pillow. 

You hopped in the shower and got dressed, fixing yourself just enough to pass for a functioning adult who did not get sloppy drunk in front of her best friend’s coworkers last night. You told your mom you were going out for lunch, and she happily agreed to babysit for a few hours while you were with Spencer. 

“Have fun on your date!”

“Not a date!” You almost couldn’t tell who you were talking to, her or you.

You got to Quantico about a half-hour later and were met by Dave in the bullpen.

“Oh, look who’s joined the land of the living!”

“Oh, come on, I wasn’t that bad last night. I could have been Penelope.”

“That is true, bella, but it was still a Thursday,” Dave chuckled, “The kid’s in Aaron’s office, he’ll be out in a sec.”

“Thank you,” you said and walked over to Spencer’s desk, sitting down in his chair and making small talk with Emily while you waited. A few minutes later, you saw him walk out of the office, eyes immediately landing on you.

Taglist~~~

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[ryn-halo26]

Hey Ryn! For that 'get to know' trend going around, I just wanna know... what songs do you listen to when you're angry, bored or want to cheer yourself up?

MONOOOOOOO

Okay!- uh

When i'm angry i tend to feel sad almost exactly after i start to sense i'm mad so.... ( Solas by Jamie Duffy, or Ussewa by Ado)

When i'm bored, Don't blame me by Talor Swift. Just came across the song one day and oops, now i can't get it out of my head.

To cheer myself up? Uhhhhhhh, Line without a hook by Ricky Montgomery.

[beauvibaby]

Wedding Season - j.benn

requested [] yes [x] no

— • being the best friend of Tyler Seguin’s new bride, leads to a deep connection with his friend, Jamie • —

word count: 9.1K

From the moment you got the news that Savannah was engaged to her boyfriend, Tyler, you’ve been dreading the wedding, well, part of the wedding. Savannah, your best friend since you could barely talk, to say she hated your boyfriend, Jeremy, would be an understatement. She could hardly stand to be in the same room as him–she was only letting him come since you were dating him–and with you being in the bridal party, that meant he would have to watch you walk arm in arm with a groomsman. Savannah-Sav, as most people called her, was thrilled about it, despite your protests, you knew it wasn’t worth while, it was her wedding anyways, you wouldn’t push her on it any longer. “I paired you with the cutest groomsman.” Sav giggled before sipping on her wine, your eyes snapped up to hers, “you what?!” You gasped, Tyler looked over from the couch where he was watching hockey highlights, she brushed him off. “Sav, why? You know I’m already going to be dealing with Jeremy being protective, you could’ve given me the least attractive one.” You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face as she painted your toe nails, she chastised you for moving in her grip. “You know, he shouldn’t be protective over you like that, it’s not normal.” She whispered, death gripping your foot. Tyler tuned into the conversation. “Yeah, Y/N, Jeremy is an asshole.” He piped up, ducking when his fiance threw the nail clippers at him. “Ty!” Sav groaned, giving him an exasperated look as you sunk into your seat. “I love him.” You whispered, and Sav’s face softened, “oh, honey.” She sighed, “ok.” She gave in–for the time being at least. Just like clock work, your phone rang, a picture of you and Jeremy covering your screen, she moved away from you as you answered, grabbing her wine and trudging over to bother Tyler while you spoke to your boyfriend.

“Hello?” You answered, picking at your shirts hem, “when are you coming over?” He questioned blatantly, you held back your annoyance, not wanting to give Sav any more motive to dislike him. “I’m with Sav tonight, remember? Getting the last of the wedding stuff together.” You reminded him, plastering a smile on your face when Sav caught your eye, Tyler looking on wearily. “All you’ve been doing is helping her with that damn wedding, I need attention too.” He mumbled like a child, you held in a sigh, “I know, babe, I’ll be there in an hour or so.” You assured him and Sav sighed, shaking her head as she walked past you into the kitchen, dumping the rest of her wine down the sink. She came over and began to finish painting your toenails as Jeremy ranted over the line. “Listen, we’ll talk when I get there, ok?” You cut him off, regretting it slightly when he scoffed. “Yeah, whatever.” And the line went dead. “Y/N-” “Don’t Sav.” You snapped, placing your feet on the ground when she put the cap on the polish. “What did he say?” She questioned, looking up at you with that face, the face that said you should leave him. But she doesn’t get it, you love him, it’s easy, you know what gets him going and what calms him down, you don’t want to learn someone all over again. It’s just easier this way.... “Nothing, uh, I’m gonna head out, I’m sorry.” You spoke softly, gathering your things, feeling terrible when she didn’t even try to stop you, she simply nodded, placing herself down on Tyler’s lap, curling into his protective grip. It made you freeze in your spot, Jeremy wouldn’t do that–No, stop Y/N, don’t compare your relationship.

Tyler looked up at you as his phone lit up, he muttered something to Sav, who solemnly nodded, keeping her eyes on your retreating figure. You were too busy looking at your feet as you walked to your car that you didn’t see the guy walking up the driveway until it was too late. You clipped his foot, “oh my god, I’m sorry.” You rushed, looking up at him, you could tell right away that he wasn’t angry, especially as his eyes took in your flushed cheeks and glossed over eyes. “It’s ok.” He mumbled, smiling softly, but you didn’t return it as you continued to your car, leaving him perplexed on who you were, and why you were leaving Tyler’s house in tears. He didn’t mean to stare, he really didn’t, but his eyes couldn’t pull themselves off your slumped figure in your car as you took shaky breaths. He began to worry, should they be letting you leave like this, “Jamie?” Tyler called from the doorway, he followed his friends gaze and his face fell. “Is she ok?” Jamie questioned, never faltering his gaze, even when you looked up and met his eyes. You managed a teary smile as you finally put your car in reverse, pulling out of the driveway. “Well, she will be, it’s complicated, but you just met the girl you’re walking with at the wedding.” Tyler sighed, placing a hand on his friends shoulder. “I-what? Really?” Jamie gasped softly, finally turning to Tyler, “don’t get too excited, she has a boyfriend, if you can call him that…” he explained, Jamie hid his disappointment with a shrug, “sounds complicated.” He laughed softly, turning to Tyler with a smile, “put me to work, I know you brought me over here for a reason.” He gave him a lazy smile, still surprised that Tyler was going to be married before him.

The guys spent the rest of the night helping Sav finish up her projects for the wedding, despite Tyler’s protests, she wanted some things hand made by herself for the wedding.

***

“Jeremy?” You called into his apartment, getting no response, you sighed, trudging into the slightly dirty place. “Jer?” You called again, shutting the door behind you. He grumbled in response, “sleeping.” You followed his voice to the living room, he was laid out on his couch, reruns of The Simpsons on in the background. “Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll just head out.” You assured him, you wanted him to wake up and tell you to stay, to pull you down to lay with him, like you’ve seen Tyler do so many times with Sav. But he didn’t, he only nodded, giving you a lazy, not very good kiss. You pushed your thoughts aside, he mumbled a love you as he walked to his bedroom, you repeated the words, feeling a small pang in your chest. Surely it had to be all the negative things you’ve been told, they were just getting to your head. That’s all, right? Three years, you’d been with him, it wasn’t easy to just throw out that type of relationship. “Don’t forget to lock the door.” He shouted, you couldn’t even mutter a response, fearing how shaky your voice would come out. You, of course, locked the door on your way out, forcing yourself to keep it together, your emotions were everywhere…

***

The day of the wedding came, and you were helping Sav and her mom get her into the dress, the back being full zipper and buttons, “I’m nervous.” Sav admitted as you walked around to the front of her, you could tell she was on the brink of tears, by the way her voice cracked slightly. “It’s ok to be nervous, it’s a huge commitment, but he’s amazing, Savannah, you know that.” You assured her, grabbing a tissue and very carefully dabbing under her eyes. “Don’t ruin your makeup.” You chastised, the photographer capturing the moment between you two. Sav nodded but then suddenly her face ran pale. “What? What’s wrong?” You panicked, she motioned to the velvet box on the table behind you. “Tyler’s cufflinks, I got them for him, can you bring them to him?” She rushed, you scrambled for the box, knowing the guys would be just about ready to start their Groomsmen photos. “Yes, yeah, be right back!” You laughed, holding your flowy dress up so you didn’t trip as you began speed walking out the bridal suite. You were walking faster than you thought you’d ever be able to do in heels, but with a mission you could do a lot of things. The noise coming from the room at the end of the hall calmed your nerves, they were still there, thank god. “Tyler, it’s Y/N!” You knocked on the door, hearing the noise settle down, Tyler swung the door open a moment later, “what’s wrong?” He rushed, panic evident on his face. “Sav wanted me to give these to you.” You spoke softly, placing the box in his hands, he popped it open and looked at you skeptically. “Well either you grabbed the wrong box, or she wants me to wear a garter.” He turned the box to face you, your face fell, “damn it! Wait here, don’t leave for pictures yet!” You took the box back, shouting it to him as you rushed back down the hall. He leaned on the doorway watching with an amused face as you nearly tripped, “be careful!” Tyler chastised you, snickering when you flipped him off as you barged into the room at the other end of the hall.

“Wrong box, this is your garter!” You giggled, Sav went pink, “oops.” She laughed, her mom helping you find the cuff links. You found them, triple checking that they were the proper ones, you shot her a smile, they were pretty, as pretty as cufflinks could be. You once again went rushing down the hall, being greeted by all of the guys lined up outside the room, the second photographer bouncing on her feet. “I’m sorry!” You apologized, helping Tyler change them out when you reached him. He thanked you profusely, you nodded, securing the second one and adjusting his sleeves. You met his eyes and couldn’t help but smile. “You’re both going to cry.” You laughed, hugging him quickly, “now go, before she kills me!” You pushed him on his way, turning to head back to the bridal suite to put the last touches together. “Y/N?” An unfamiliar voice called, you turned back and saw the guy you had ran into a few days ago, in Tyler’s driveway. “Yes?” You responded, confused as to why he was stopping you. He stepped closer, “your hair, it’s falling here.” He brushed his fingers against the side of your head, the brief contact sent your brain into a spiral, “Jamie?” You put two and two together, Sav had told you his name, but because of conflicting schedules you hadn’t actually met the guy you’d be walking with. “That’s me.” He confirmed, blushing when he pulled his hand back, “better.” He muttered, turning when one of the guys called for him. “See ya.” He smiled, and if smiles could get you, then his surely would have. For a moment you felt a blush creeping up your cheeks, but then you thought of Jeremy sitting out in the ceremony, impatiently waiting for this show to get on the road.

It was a small bridal party, three groomsmen, plus the best man, and three bridesmaids, plus the maid of honor. You latched your arm around Jamie’s as the doors opened, the maid of honor, Sav’s sister, who was very much pregnant, and Tyler’s childhood friend walked down the aisle, taking their respective positions, you and Jamie next. You smiled walking in pace with Jamie who seemed equally as nervous as you, probably feeding off of your emotions. Jeremy smiled at you, “beautiful” he mouthed, you smiled widely at him, any worries you had from the past few days melted away in that moment–meaning you missed the way his eyes hardened when he looked over Jamie’s appearance.

There was no denying that Jamie was attractive, but he was also the complete opposite of Jeremy, more of your usual type. Jamie, with his dark hair, and matching beard, the emotional brown eyes, all the way down to the tattoos that Sav had told you were covering his legs and arm.

Jeremy, he was none of that. Attractive, yes of course, but he was polar opposite of what you described. Red hair, blue eyes, freckles covering his skin, couldn’t grow a beard if his life depended on it. No tattoos, if anything the mention of them made his skin crawl, something you bickered about, whenever you’d say you wanted a tattoo, something small, meaningful, for your dad who you lost years ago. Even that would get him going, so you always dropped it, not wanting to start an argument.

Before you knew it, Sav was entering with her father, her bright blue eyes dancing with tears of happiness as she kept them on Tyler the whole way, his eyes mirroring her own, he wiped at them, but we all knew a couple of tears fell. Same goes for Sav, who was trying to keep it together, and succeeding very well thus far.

When they reached the altar, Tyler shook her father's hand, her father turned to his one and only daughter, giving her a big kiss on the cheek, telling her he loves her before she stepped up in front of Tyler. “So beautiful.” Tyler whispered, having to keep himself from kissing her then and there. You all had wide smiles on your face the entire time, you met Jamie’s eyes once or twice throughout the ceremony, his face was stoic, showing no emotions, but his eyes showed everything, the happiness he had for his friend clear on display for anyone who cared to notice. Again, another difference to Jeremy, your boyfriend was never good with emotions, his eyes showed nothing, and he didn’t use his words all that well, not even his actions.

You came to your senses as you heard the words, “you may now kiss the bride!” And in an instant, Tyler had Sav pulled up into his arms, one hand on her back, the other cupping her cheek as they shared an appropriately passionate kiss, pulling away slowly as everyone began cheering. You had a teary smile on your face, clapping your hands up above your head for affect, your best friend laughing at you, but her eyes showed her appreciation for everything you’ve done to help her get to this day.

The photos flew by in a breeze, and before you knew it, you were walking into the reception, shooting Jamie a smile as you parted ways, dancing lightly to the music playing, a simple action but both of you had huge smiles on your faces, as well as the other groomsmen and bridesmaids as they copied your actions. You made your way to where Jeremy was sitting, pulling up your chair beside his, “hi babe.” You smiled, relieved when he pulled you in for a deep kiss. “There’s my girl.” The way he put the emphasis on my, made your skin crawl slightly, but what caught your attention more, was the taste of alcohol on his lips, of course, during photos, the guests were having cocktail hour, but you never thought he would choose here of all places to get this tipsy. You debated on saying anything, but you didn’t as the DJ began speaking, “now, let’s welcome, for the first time Mr and Mrs Seguin!” He cheered, more claps and shouts erupting throughout the room, Jeremy gave a half assed clap and smile when you glared at him. You grinned as they walked in and immediately went into their first dance, the sight warming your heart, you dabbed under your eyes with your napkin, turning in your seat to face Jeremy, now most people who went to weddings with their significant others, especially after being together this long, would both be thinking how this would be them one day. You could tell by the stone cold look in Jeremy’s eyes, neither of you were having those thoughts, but that would be saved for another time.

Dinner was delicious, of course you expected nothing less from the two of them.

Now it was time for the cliches before the night faded into dancing, first up, the bouquet toss. All of the ladies in the room stood and gathered up behind Sav, she threw the bouquet back behind her, and who else could it have come right to, but of course yourself. “Y/N!” Sav shouted when she turned and saw you holding it with a blush. You smiled nervously, it was a silly tradition, and of course it didn’t truly mean you’d be the next to wed, but of course your eyes instantly landed on Jeremy who was nursing another drink, a lazy smile on his lips, you mirrored his look as Tyler slid a chair out to the middle of the dance floor for Sav, oh the beloved garter tradition.

Her cheeks a bright red as Tyler slipped his hands under the full skirt of her dress, keeping his eyes on hers the whole time, he pulled the simpler garter down, the one meant for tossing, while the other stayed adorning her thigh, something for the two of them to know was there. You smirked as the guys all fought over who would be closest to Tyler as he threw it, well–all except one. Jamie stayed relatively still, not seeming to want the attention, but of course, as it flew towards his face, he reached out and caught it, an instinct most likely but everyone oohed and gasped. Looking between the two of you, instantly you glared at Sav. She had told you, assuming whoever caught the bouquet and the garter were ok with it, that he would put the garter on the bouquet catch. It was an adult only reception after all, no impressionable young kids here to see the action. You practically ran over to her, Jamie doing the same to Tyler. “Are you ok with it?” She asked instantly and you gave her a look. “I’m more worried about Jeremy.” You deadpanned, she hid the way her face wanted to fall, the crowd cheering you on. “We don’t have to, I won’t do it if you’re not ok with it.” Jamie piped up, smiling softly at you, the action not going unnoticed by Sav and Tyler, unknowing to you two, their little plan was working, much easier than they thought it would. You took the champagne flute from Sav’s grip, downing it and handing it back. “You only live once right.” You shrugged, turning to Jamie, smiling before walking to the seat Sav had been in.

Jeremy looked on, too far gone to process what was happening until Jamie got down on his knees in front of you. The sound of Jeremy’s chair sliding back took everyone's attention, he was about to stand, but as everyone looked at him, you gave him a stone cold look, one he normally ignores, but for some reason, much to your relief, he nodded and slid his chair back in. “Alright, what are you waiting for?” You spoke loudly to Jamie, pulling everyone’s attention back to you two. He nervously laughed, slipping the white lace band over your heel, beginning to slowly draw it up your leg, he was calm and not flushed until he reached your knee. Once his hand dipped over the curve, both of you got a little red, the crowd hooting and hollering, Sav and Tyler the loudest, watching as their two best friends shared what most would call an intimate moment. He stopped the band at mid thigh, you shivered slightly at the contrast of his rough hands on your smooth skin, he hesitated before coming to his senses and slipping his hands out from under your dress, standing to his feet. You followed, and everyone clapped as you two parted ways.

The second you reached Jeremy, he was whisking you off and out of the reception space, thankfully though, no one noticed as they all got caught up in talking and dancing. “What was that?” He snapped, pinning you against the wall, you clenched your legs together, still thinking of the feeling of Jamie’s hand on your skin, that mixed with the way Jeremy had you pinned against the wall, had your brain spinning, trying to figure out how to come to your senses and push him off of you. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, cupping his cheek, trying to calm his emotions, “I promise, it will be worthwhile when we get back to my place.” You added, knowing it would get through to him, and you also knew that you shouldn’t have to bribe him with sex to get him to calm down. You knew that wasn’t right, but you couldn’t think about that now, all that mattered was getting back in there before anyone noticed your absence. Jeremy nodded, kissing you roughly, his hand slipped under the dress, yanking the garter off, breaking it in half. “Jeremy!” You gasped, the material snapping against your skin, undoubtedly leaving a small welt. “Should have thought of that before, baby.” He muttered, shoving the ripped fabric into his pocket before pulling you back into the room by your hand, a smile on his face like nothing happened.

Like nothing happened… the thought ran through your mind all night, through the rest of the wedding, and even when you got back to his place, apparently he’d rather have his way with you there. The only peace you got was when he finally fell asleep, tired from the sloppy sex, and the alcohol still flowing through his veins. You slipped into his bathroom, cleaning yourself up before laying back in the bed, keeping as much distance between the two of you as you could. For the first time in your relationship, you felt like an outsider looking in, seeing how truly wrong this situation was. And that’s how you fell asleep, the thought burning a hole into your mind.

***

You were house sitting for Tyler and Sav while they were on their honeymoon, well, only part of the time they were gone. Jamie was coming tomorrow to take over for the remainder of their trip, you were busy cooking your dinner when the doorbell rang, the dogs running over and jumping around, you assumed it was just a package, so you ignored it, and figured you’d grab it when you were done, but the doorbell went off again and you sighed, pushing the pan off the hot stove burner. You trudged over to the door, shushing the dogs, they listened and sat behind you like a barrier, you peeked out the side window and furrowed your brows when you saw Jamie standing outside with a duffel bag over his shoulder. “Jamie? I thought you didn’t come until tomorrow?” You spoke with a smile as you opened the door, he stepped in with furrowed eyebrows, kicking his shoes off, “no, it’s today.” He checked his phone, confirming the date with you. You went red, “oh, well uh this is kind of awkward.” You started off, “my boyfriend is coming over to have dinner with me.” You trailed, watching as he nodded with an understanding smile, he went to put his shoes back on, “I can come back in the morning, it’s no big deal.” He assured you, your phone ringing in your pocket, you pulled it out and answered instantly when you saw it was Jeremy. “Hey, baby, I won’t be able to make it tonight, stuck at work.” He rushed the second you answered, your face fell and Jamie froze as he noticed. He stood back up to his full height, one shoe on, one off as he watched you hesitantly. “Oh.” You whispered, Jeremy shushed someone in the background, “that’s ok.” You added, not wanting to deal with angering him right now. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You spoke to him, stepping back so Jamie could come in. “Yeah,” Jeremy paused, mumbling to someone else, “yeah tomorrow, bye.” He hung up, leaving you in shock.

“Everything ok?” Jamie questioned carefully, unsure of his boundaries with you, his politeness was sweet, but you really wanted to tell him he could ask whatever he wanted after having his hands that far up your dress. “Well, Jeremy actually can’t make it, but I already had dinner started, if you want.” You rushed your words out, suddenly embarrassed to be asking, despite you both being adults. “Sure.” He answered quickly, brushing it off by bending down to pet the dogs. Jamie watched with lingering eyes as you solemnly walked back into the kitchen, your mood clearly deflated, it bothered him, to see someone like you, someone so sweet, to be treated so poorly. He shook his head to himself, following behind you into the kitchen, a sigh wanting to fall from his lips but he held it in as he told the dogs to go lay down. Dinner was nothing fancy, you had just been making some simple chicken, broccoli and potatoes, but you slipped the bottle of wine you had pulled out, back into its spot. You tried to keep conversation with Jamie, talking about random things, both of you bouncing off each other, you laughed softly at something he said, but your mind bounced back to Jeremy, wondering who he had been talking to.

Of course, the first thought was a girl, as much of a jerk as he was, you didn’t think he’d stoop that low, but he’d surprised you before. You hadn’t realized you went silent, sipping on your water until Jamie stood, asking if you were done with your plate. “Oh, yes, I’ll do it, it’s fine.” You scrambled to your feet, used to doing it all. He furrowed his brows, a soft laugh, a comforting noise you were coming to know, falling from his lips. “Y/N, you cooked, I can handle washing a few dishes.” He assured you, taking the plate from your hands, also taking note of the shocked look on your face. A look that you certainly shouldn’t have from the simple action of him doing the dishes. The whole time he was doing the dishes, he was trying to think of a reason for you to stay a little longer, he knew it was wrong—you had a boyfriend, a crappy one, but still, Jamie wasn’t like that. He would respect the fact that you chose to stay with Jeremy, despite him hating how he treated you. Jamie also racked his brain for why he cared so deeply about you staying, he hardly knew you, he had no reason to be this infatuated with you, aside from the physical attraction of course, he thought you were gorgeous, from the second you stepped on his foot in the driveway, all the way until now how you sat at the dining room table, your face blank as you ran your own thoughts through your mind.

“I should get my things, uhm, thank you for cleaning up.” You rushed your words together, feeling the nausea rise in your stomach, mind still on Jeremy. “Oh, you–“ he stopped speaking when your phone rang through the silent kitchen, you rushed to pick it up, stomach dropping to the floor when you saw Jeremy’s name again. You hesitated to answer it, something that most definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Jamie, who watched skeptically as he dried his hands, as you picked up the phone, he slid past you, giving you some privacy as you mumbled a hello into the device. You were about to hang up when you didn’t get a response, assuming he dialed by mistake and didn’t realize it, but then your heard movement, you froze, the sound of a zipper being undone. You held your breath, a hand coming over your mouth to muffle your gasp as you heard a woman moan. You quickly hung up the phone, slamming it onto the counter, you took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the sensation rushing up your throat, but you couldn’t, so you took off down the hall to the closest bathroom. Not even having a chance to shut the door, barely being able to kneel in front of the toilet in time, your dinner exiting your stomach. “Shit, Y/N, are you alright?” Jamie called, staying in the hall to give you privacy. You went to speak but only dry heaved into the toilet, “just great.” You croaked out, flushing the toilet and scrambling to your feet.

You rinsed your mouth out with water before grabbing your toothbrush that you had yet to pack away, Jamie rounded the corner when you went silent, mostly just wanting to make sure you were ok. He met your gaze in the mirror, staying silent as he gave you an apologetic smile, making his way to the living room again. You followed after you were done brushing your teeth, eyes burning with tears, a mix of shock from what you just heard, and partly because of how your throat was still burning. “I’m going to get my things.” “Do you want to talk about it?” You and Jamie spoke at the same time, his question rang in your ears, it’s been so long since someone asked that, a man no less. You stayed silent, “I-uh-you don’t have to, obviously!” He rushed out awkwardly, “you can stay, maybe you should just rest, you don’t look too good.” He added, watching when you raised an eyebrow, “not like that, I mean you just got sick and you shouldn’t drive, probably. I don’t know, Jesus, I’ll shut up now.” He stumbled over his words, blushing furiously from his spot on the couch. You let out a breathy laugh, going to grab your phone from the kitchen before sitting beside him on the couch, a little closer than you probably would’ve normally. But he didn’t seem to mind, so neither did you. “Thanks, Jamie.” You mumbled, glancing over at him, he nodded, “no problem.” He answered, too easily for his liking, “we know Sav would have my head on a platter if she found out I let you leave like that.” He added, laughing along with you, relieved that you found it funny rather than embarrassing.

The silence became overbearing, he could see you getting into your head again, so he turned on the TV, putting on some random comedy show, chuckling along with it every so often. He glanced over at you and saw a few silent tears rolling down your cheeks, what he wanted to do was pull you into his arms and tell you everything was going to be ok, that you deserved better, because you did, you really did deserve so much better. And if anyone asked, Jamie would say he thought you deserved better than even he could give you. But, you hardly knew him, so he couldn’t really do that, without seeming like a creep. So he settled on telling you a story about his brother, nearly dropping the baby and how his sister in law nearly whacked him on the spot. It got a chuckle out of you—granted, the tears were still flowing, but he took that as a win, so he continued. Telling you anything remotely funny, and he kept doing so, until you finally caved, the tears slowing, eyes still a little watery when you couldn’t help but hug him. “Oh.” He was surprised, and you panicked about to pull away, the second he felt you loosening your grip, he wrapped his arms back around you, “thank you, Jamie.” You whispered. He nodded against you, thankful you couldn’t see the blush on his cheeks as you stayed in his embrace, for maybe a little longer than you should have, but it felt so good, so nice to not be pushed away, to be held.

The whole time Jamie was hugging you, he was doing everything to memorize the way it felt, unsure if he’d ever get to do it again. When you two finally separated, neither of you said anything, but you stayed close to him, eventually ending up tucked under his arm as your eyes fluttered closed, he should have woken you up, told you to head to bed, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he stayed, despite losing the feeling in his arm. He stayed until he himself started drifting off, his head laid back on the top of the couch, and he knew–he definitely knew, it would hurt in the morning, but to him it was worth the sore neck, if this was at all making you feel remotely better.

After that, the two of you developed a quick friendship, learning the ins and outs of each other’s personalities and lives in an instant. He knew that you worked the same schedule every week, he knew you always went grocery shopping on sundays, he knew you always had a small pile of laundry in your room that never went into your closet, he knew that Tuesday nights were reserved for the bachelorette, and that Sunday’s were for 90 day fiancé.

Just like you knew that whenever he had a home game, he would always stop at this local burger joint, and get the same exact order everytime, loading it up with veggies to make it seem less against his diet. You knew he wanted a dog, but wouldn’t get one until he was engaged to someone “I couldn’t leave the dog with a stranger”, you knew he would be coming by tonight too, which is exactly why you had bought a little extra food when you went grocery shopping today.

Jeremy, you had yet to deal with that situation, even after a month since you heard that girl over the phone, you just ignored it, he acted like it never happened, and so did you—your phone dinged, shaking you from your spiraling thoughts. Sav’s name on the screen,

“Did you take it yet????”

You shook your head, looking at the one bag you had shoved in the corner of your kitchen, despite her not being able to see you.

“No, Jamie will be here soon, I’ll take it after he leaves. Promise!”

She read your response immediately.

“You better, you need to know.”

You didn’t respond, what was there for you to say? You knew just as well as she did that you had to take the test that was sitting in the plastic bag. It was speculation, really, you’d felt a little off, and then you noticed you didn’t get your period right away, like you normally do. Of course, instantly Sav went pale, telling you to take a test, just to be sure. You kept telling her it was stress, but you wouldn’t tell her that the stress was your boyfriend cheating on you.

You made your way over to the bag, pulling the box from it, reading over the label, the instructions, despite already knowing how to take one. This isn’t your first time having a slip up. “Y/N?” Jamie called, pushing the front door open, you gasped, dropping the box on the counter, startled by his sudden appearance. “I was knocking but you didn’t answer.” He spoke again when he met your eyes over the kitchen counter, the front door having a straight shot to the kitchen. “Oh, sorry I was just-“ “are you crying?” He cut you off, pushing the door shut and making a quick walk over to you. He didn’t even see the box on the counter as he stood in front of you. “No.” You answered, voice cracking, “not yet at least.” You added when he gave you the look, the look that said don’t lie to me. “What did he do?” Jamie sighed, pulling you in for a hug, you shook your head against his chest, “I can’t.” You tried to discreetly reach for the box on the counter but he felt your movement. His eyes followed your hand and you could feel his frame fall when he could see the label on the box, first response. He stepped away from you.

“Are you?” He trailed off, suddenly seeming like he felt out of place in your apartment, the place he’d grown so used to seeing. “I don’t know, I, I’m afraid to take it.” You admitted, looking up at him with wide eyes. His face softened, he wasn’t sure what to say, because all he knew is he wasn’t the guy you should be telling about this. “I’m going to be alone, if it’s positive.” You whispered, you knew Jeremy, and you knew if it was positive, he wouldn’t want to keep it, but you could never do such a thing, having kids was always a part of your dream. Even if it was with as terrible of a person as him, that baby would be half you and that gave you hope. “You won’t be alone, you have Sav, and your mom, even Tyler,” Jamie paused, “and me.” He added, you nodded, reaching for the box. He went wide eyed, allowing you to drag him to sit in your room while you took the test. The whole time you were in the bathroom, his mind was racing.

He’d always assumed, when he was with someone who was taking a pregnancy test, it would be his wife, or his girlfriend at least, the lady he loved—and while he was certain that you were becoming the image in his head when he thought of the future. This wasn’t that moment, no, he was here with you, while you took the test for what could be another man's baby. He heard you sniffling from behind the bathroom door, and he wanted to barge in there, he wanted to go in there and hug you and tell you that no matter what the test said, you’d be okay, but he couldn’t. Because, truthfully, he would be lying. If you were pregnant, he had a feeling that he knew the reaction Jeremy would have. If it was negative, he knew on some level you’d be heart broken, and worse off, he knew you’d continue to put up with Jeremy and his nonsense.

You stared at the back of the test, flipping it upside down to wait, otherwise you’d stare at it until you saw a line that wasn’t there. You could hear Jamie bouncing his feet, you felt bad, you probably made him uncomfortable. He shouldn’t be here while you did this, he should be oblivious to what was happening.

The alarm on your phone went off, and you heard Jamie shoot up off the bed when you turned it off, you flipped the test over, scanning it over, once, twice, three times before you let out a cry of relief. Negative. Jamie knocked on the door, “Y/N, are you ok?” He mumbled through the door, he stepped back when you swung the door open. “Negative.” You whispered, smiling, a tearful one, but still, he could tell you were slightly relieved, which helped his shoulders release some tension. “I’m sorry, I dragged you into this.” You apologized, throwing the test out as he watched warily, “it’s ok, you have nothing to apologize for.” He assured you, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath while you were distracted. You texted Sav, simply telling her negative. To which she shot a thumbs up in return, probably biting her tongue from saying something else about how you should break up with Jeremy.

Jamie stayed, right up until your show was about to start, he left with a soft goodbye, “tell me if you need anything, yeah?” He mumbled, giving you one last look, your eyes bloodshot and puffy from your emotions from earlier. “I will.” You called, watching him disappear out the door.

***

It was three days later when you were watching the game on the TV, smiling every time they showed Jamie or Tyler. You were waiting for Jeremy to come over, you were going to tell him about the test, despite it being negative, you thought it would be best that he knew. The door being knocked on made your heart drop, uncertain for how this was gonna go, you turned the TV off, walking over to the door, taking some shaky breaths, twisting the lock, you turned the knob and Jeremy was smiling right at you.

“Hey, baby.” He murmured, stepping in and instantly kissing you deeply, hungrily, it made your skin crawl, you lightly pushed him off of you. “We need to talk.” You whispered, and he went blank, nervous even a little. “About?” He pried, shutting the door behind him, you walked over to the couch, sitting on the edge of it, he joined you, hesitantly. Once he sat, you took a deep breath, “I took a pregnancy test a couple of days ago.” You started and before you had a chance to even blink, he was on his feet, tugging at his ginger hair. “You what?!” He barked out, his eyes stone cold, “you can’t keep it.” He demanded and that pushed you over the edge, all the months—the years of bullshit you put up with, came to a surface.

“It was negative.” You stood to your feet, arms crossed over your chest, “if you had let me finish, you would’ve known that, but I’m glad you didn’t. I’m done, Jeremy, the fact that you think you had that type of dictation over my life—my body! Is utter bullshit, we’re done.” You spoke harshly, standing your ground, in some sick way, you expected him to grovel, like most men like him do, but he didn’t. He simply scoffed, giving you a once over. “You must’ve really let yourself go then,” the venom dripping from his voice made your skin crawl, “a shame, you were nice to look at.” He added, walking out of your apartment like the last three years didn’t happen. You didn’t even feel remorse, how could you? After that, you felt liberated if anything. You pulled your phone out, calling Sav before you could think better of it, she answered after a few rings, cheers filling your ears before you heard her. The game, oh the game, you scrambled to turn the game back on while she asked if you could hear her. “I broke up with Jeremy!” You spoke loudly into the phone so she could hear you, “you what?!” She shrieked in excitement, you laughed to yourself. “I’m going to the bar, the one we used to go to before you met Tyler. Meet me after the game?” You questioned, smiling at the score on your screen, Dallas was up by two. “Yes! Of course!” She answered, “I’ll meet you there!” And then she hung up.

You were at the bar, for probably an hour, before Sav showed up, Tyler and Jamie in tow. She hadn’t expected to find you this intoxicated, you weren’t much of a drinker, but once you started, it was hard to stop, you had barely touched a drink since you had been with Jeremy, he didn’t like the way you acted drunk. So you stopped drinking.

You didn’t get like this often, that’s what you told yourself, to rid yourself of any guilt as you nursed another Long Island ice tea, the worst type of drink to get because it didn’t taste like alcohol, which meant you didn’t realize how many you had truly consumed. “Y/N?” Sav questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder, Jamie and Tyler at the bar ordering their own drinks, you grinned at your best friend. “Hi!” You sang, dramatically throwing your arms around her neck, she barely managed to stay upright when you put most of your weight in her control. “Oh, you’ve had more than enough to drink.” She chastised you, steadying herself against the booth. “Jamie-“ you cut yourself off with a hiccup, “Jamie knows I took a test.” You slurred, water springing to your eyes, you were an emotional and heartfelt drunk, which is why Sav knew the words about to come out of your mouth would be nothing but sincere.

“He was so nice, and-and he said I wouldn’t be alone.” You sniffled, Sav laughed at your overly emotional confession, “that’s sweet, honey.” She assured you, expecting that to be the end of the conversation. Neither of you saw Jamie and Tyler approaching through the crowd, which is why she let you continue your rant. “I like him, a lot. Savyyy, he’s so pretty, and nice to me.” You giggled girlishly, Jamie’s face fell, not hearing who you were talking about. “Maybe you should tell Jamie how you feel.” She offered advice, knowing you would be to drunk to remember this in the morning, or so she hoped. Tyler grinned at his friend, Jamie stared at the two girls, shock evident on his features. “Did she just say my name?” He asked Tyler, making sure he wasn’t going crazy, the smile on his face was answer enough. “Damn right she did!” He clapped his slightly taller friend on the back before making their presence known. Sav gasped, covering it with a cough when she saw them, and she could tell they had heard your confession, she could only hope that Jamie would do something about it.

“Hi, Y/N.” Tyler laughed, watching you lazily look up, Sav smirked, “here you go, Jamie.” She passed your deadweight on to him, he easily wrapped an arm around your waist, steadying you from the transition. He glared at the husband and wife as they snuck away to have some drinks of their own, “Jamie?” You whispered, voice slurring a little, combined with the loudness filling the bar, he almost didn’t hear you. “Yeah?” He glanced down, hiding the way he felt panicked, not sure what you were going to say. “I broke up with him.” You mumbled, hiding your face in his shirt, feeling the room spin a little at your confession. He felt the sway in your body and placed his other hand on your upper back, keeping you steady against him. “Are you ok?” He asked, referring to the break up, you looked up with a smile, “I told him about the test,” you shrugged, sobering only slightly at the thought, but your words still ran together, “he told me I couldn’t keep it, if I was, and that I let myself go.” You giggled, catching Jamie off guard, “so I dumped his ass!” You gleamed, and Jamie couldn’t help but to smile down at you. “Good.” He cupped your cheek, catching a drunk tear that escaped, not mentioning it since you didn’t even notice it slip from your eye. His hand lingered, but he didn't mind, and you definitely didn’t mind as you all but melted into, the warmth it brought, making your tiredness begin to set in.

Jamie chuckled at the yawn you tried to disguise, “let me get you an Uber.” He mumbled, pulling his phone out, normally you’d protest, but you didn’t, you stayed silent as you rested against him, Tyler and Sav watching from afar, they saw the way they looked at each other in the way you and Jamie looked at one another. They were shocked, honestly, by how quickly their two best friends started falling for each other, but who were they to judge, their relationship had developed quickly as well, and look at them now, married.

He waited outside with you until the Uber came, wanting to make sure you got in it safely, “Jamie, can you come with me?” You whispered at the last second, he was shocked by the sudden invitation. “Please, I-I’m scared, what if Jeremy is there?” You looked up at him with wide eyes, much like the ones when you took the pregnancy test, terror dancing in them. He gave in, “yeah, I’ll come.” He whispered, unable to keep himself from kissing your forehead, guiding you into the backseat as he followed.

The ride to your apartment was short and silent, as you could barely keep your eyes open, Jamie occasionally nudging you to keep you awake, something else he knew about you, was that once you were asleep, you were miserable if woken up.

Jamie unlocked the door, using your key as you leaned against the wall, yawning, much to both of yours relief, there was no sign of Jeremy. So as he let you in to your apartment, he assumed he could leave, but he could tell by the way you walked that there was no way you’d make it to your room in one piece. He slipped an arm under your shoulders, guiding you to your room, stifling back his own laughs when you nearly stepped on his foot, more than once. “Don’t laugh.” You whined, pouty lips covering your face, he nodded, “sorry.” He mumbled, smiling at how cute you looked. He got you to your bed, sitting you on the edge, helping you take your jacket and shoes off. You laid down instantly, shimmying to get under your covers, “goodnight.” You breathed out, eyes already shut, breathing evening out directly after. Jamie smiled, pulling the blanket over you, pushing your hair back, off of your face. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered, lips ghosting over your forehead for a second time tonight. He found your Advil and put it on your nightstand before leaving, making sure to lock the door behind him. His mind racing as he thought of if he should tell you he heard you tonight.

***

If you could smack someone through a phone you would, as you woke up with a pounding headache and Sav calling your phone, the noise sounding ten times louder than it actually is. “Before you say it’s too early, it’s nearly eleven, I let you sleep in.” She spoke, and you could picture the smirk on her face. “What do you want?” You groaned, rubbing at your eyes, sitting up and ignoring the lightheaded spell. “Do you remember what you told me last night?” Sav sang, you could hear her moving around her house, always having a project to keep her busy. “Yes, actually.” You remembered it as vividly as a hungover person could. You told her you liked Jamie, “oh? Well, then I should tell you…” she trailed off, making your eyes go wide, “oh my god! Did I tell him?” You asked loudly, wincing when your head started pounding. Sav laughed into the phone, “no, but he heard you.” She admitted, and you went pale, or so you imagined you did. “Oh my god.” You whispered, “oh my god, that’s so embarrassing!” You whisper shouted, pinching the bridge of your nose. “How am I supposed to face him?” You whined, throwing yourself back on the bed. “Don’t know, you’ll just have to do it.” Sav mumbled, “maybe he’ll bring it up, he does feel the same way after all.” She declared. “He what!?” You gasped, “it’s so obvious, he’s been looking at you like you were the best thing he’s ever seen.” She deadpanned, making your heart race just a little bit.

***

Two weeks, you’ve been waiting two whole weeks, knowing that Jamie knew what you said, and him acting like it never happened, has only made it feel like more than that short time. You were growing impatient, the more you thought about it, the more you wanted it to happen. He’d seen you more than enough times to say it, but everytime, it was like he was clueless. You’d even tried being a little extra touchy, to see if he would break, but he didn’t.

Even now, while you watched one of the many reality drama shows you watched, with your feet across his lap, his hand lazily resting on them as he tried to follow what the women on TV were shouting about. “Y/N, I’m confused, why are they…” he trailed off when he looked over and you were totally spaced out, picking at your nails. He pinched your ankle and laughed when your eyes shot over, “ow?” You quipped, sliding your feet off his lap. The first gesture he’s done in these two weeks was this one, as he grabbed your feet, keeping them in place, he began to trace patterns into your skin. “I know, what you said that night.” He admitted, you nodded, “I know that you know.” You admitted and this time he looked at you with wide eyes. “Sav told me.” You whispered, he nodded, his hand moving up your leg a little, resting on your knee. “I’ve been waiting for you to do something about it.” You spoke softly, keeping your eyes in his, watching the way he went through his emotions, shock, relief, and then just a touch of adoration. “I didn’t know if there was a time frame, you know, since you just dumped that prick.” Jamie shrugged, you stifled back a laugh as you reached for his shirt, tugging him closer by it. “I’d say two weeks is plenty of time, considering how long I was thinking about this other guy…” you mumbled, moving closer to him. His hands went to your waist, pulling you over to him with ease, pulling you into his lap, and holding you tightly. “Oh no, not another guy.” He teased, playing with the ends of your hair, you sighed, at the simple touch. “Jamie, if you don’t kiss me, I swear-“ he cut you off, pushing his lips to yours, his hands curling in your hair, while you ran your fingers down the back of his neck.

You whined, chasing his lips when he pulled away, “don’t worry, plenty more of that, after the first date.” He assured you, laughing when you complained.

*** epilogue ***

The white dress trailed behind you and Jamie as you walked into the room, “for the first time, as Mr and Mrs Benn!” The announcer spoke, Jamie pulled you in for a kiss as everyone cheered. His arms circling around your waist, squeezing you tight, but not too tight as you pulled him to the dance floor.

“Mrs. Benn.” He teased, holding a hand out for you, smiling when you took it with glee, allowing him to spin you into him, “careful.” You giggled, steadying yourself with a hand to his chest. He snaked his other hand over your stomach, before bringing it to rest on your back with the other. “Baby Benn can stay our little secret for just a little while longer.” You mumbled, arms around his neck. He nodded in agreement, kissing your forehead before ducking down to catch your lips. “I agree.” His voice was soft, as if people would hear you two talking over the music. “I love you.” He added, “I love you too.” You murmured, resting your head on his chest, soaking up this moment where it felt like just the two of you… well, technically three of you.

taglist: @starkeysdunn​ @kempe​ @vincecdunn​ @literarycharleton​ @wtfkie​ @jackiesquinn

[malicerewatchesdoctorwho]

The Web of Fear - Episode Six

Written by - Mervyn Haisman and Henry Lincoln       Director - Douglas Camfield     Producer - Peter Bryant    

Episode Six

("You gave your word that no one would be harmed." - The Doctor to the Great Intelligence, after threatening to snap Jamie's neck if the Doctor doesn't cooperate.)

Likes

- The Doctor and Anne not even telling Jamie what is going on with the yeti to begin with, because he is with the Colonel and they have no idea who is being controlled. 

- The Doctor playing his recorder again.  I have no idea why I love it so much, but I do.

- After the Doctor does tell Jamie about having one of the yeti as an ally, just Jamie's "well, that's a great help" once he is told that the Doctor lost track of which one was theirs XD

- Jamie hiding in a box to escape being taken and it working XD  I just found it rather nice that someone in this show actually found an effective way of hiding!  For once.

- The Doctor using the control box on the yeti and taking the mind control helmet and fiddling with it so it wouldn't work.  hahaha, nice.

- The difference between normal Staff Sergeant Arnold and the Great Intelligence model.  Seriously, I find that some great acting.  No jerky or awkward movements, no great huge differences in personality until he was found out, just a guy suddenly being the bad guy when he was thought to be a good guy the rest of the time.  I liked Staff.  I thought he was a great character.  He didn't deserve what happened to him for getting taken over. 

- That the Great Intelligence wasn't actually beaten, just cut off.  It leaves him as a bad guy that can come back.  And yeah, we all know he does, since he is in Modern Who.

- The Doctor having a mini meltdown for not having things go his way.  I have no idea why I like this.  He just doesn't get angry or make a fuss about much as Two and he just goes off at the end.

Dislikes

- Evans the coward disobeying orders and running away like the coward he is.  The Colonel is right.  That's desertion.  Does that mean at the end, he gets dishonourably discharged?  Please say yes.

- Wow, Travers is a bit of an asshole in this one to Victoria.  I don't like it, especially since he's been pretty much nice to everyone so far.

- Uuugh, why is Chorley back?  I don't like him either... 

- Oh god, I find this hilarious but it's going on the dislikes, because Chorley.  Anne getting stuck with him at the end to explain the TARDIS to him.  I felt so sorry for her, while also finding the whole thing funny.

Awesome

- Going on the awesome list, because I like the simplicity of it.  The pyramid control seat thing the yeti have in their control room, the Great Intelligence has built.  I just think it's nice that not everything has to look super awesome to still be effective as a plot device and prop.

- And yes, also going to add the super cute Yeti here again, because look at those claaaws. Why do I find monsters cute?  When I was a small kid I wanted one of the dogs from Ghostbusters as a pet, because I thought they were super cute. 

- I liked the fade in from one view to another where Anne is staring intently at the Doctor as they sit in silence. 

- The end titles no longer has the web!  The Great Intelligence was beat and instead of going with the web of the rest of the episodes, it went back to normal.  Nice.

Shitty

- That beard is the bane of all life in existence in all universes that are, were or ever will be.

- Chorley's glasses. Seriously, I probably would have liked and/or trusted him a lot more if he hadn't had them on.  Welp too bad for him.  No trust gained.  This says a lot about human nature if anything.  Not necessarily that people in glasses look untrustworthy, but that Chorley looks like a completely different, more nice and personable person, without them.

- Oops, I see a zip line for one of the yeti costumes near the end.  Which is odd, because they were so good at hiding them otherwise.  

In Conclusion

Another great episode, though probably not the best in the serial.  Probably my second least favourite, but who's counting :P

Plenty of action at the end after Jamie set the Doctor's yeti on the yeti and Staff.  The Doctor getting angry enough to start yelling and fussing that things didn't go his way.  Some nice character moments between the Doctor and Jamie and the Doctor and Anne.

I enjoyed most of the characters in this, except for the two obvious ones.  Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart was probably at his weakest in this episode, because he didn't really have much to do, but he kept them rallied as best he could for a bunch of civilians under his care, so kudos to him. 

Victoria and Travers were way underused for that matter.  They're basically just bait here.  But I still like them as characters.

Anne was great, though. As was Staff.  Poor Staff. 

I didn't really have much to say about this one, as I was a bit too busy watching to see how this one ended.

A bit abrupt and with the bad guy getting away, but I still liked it.

Body count - 1.  Staff Sergeant Arnold.  Poor Staff. He didn't deserve any of this.  He was a great guy until he was taken over. Killed by yeti set on him by Jamie. Ouch.  But he likely would have died when the Great Intelligence left anyway. RIP Staff.

The Web of Fear as a Whole

Watch this one. Not even kidding, just watch it. It's great from start to finish. Great characters you love and characters you also love to hate.  Plenty of action, plenty of character building, lots of side characters you get to know and like or hate. 

The plot for the main part is tight.  We know about the yeti and Intelligence already from the Abominable Snowmen episodes. So it's like the first true sequel in Doctor Who. 

It's basically a base under siege story with the army fighting a monster while stuck in the train system lines of a deserted city.  I mean, come on, how awesome is that?  Sounds like a sci-fi action movie.

So, yeah, watch this one.

And I just realised my Web of Fear as a Whole segment is basically me pimping this one out.  It's that good.

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash​ @jamies-kpop-reactions​

Chapter 15: Our Story

The mere seconds that Mom spent staring at me and Taemin, slackjawed in the doorway, might as well have lasted forever.

I think we wouldn't have looked half as guilty if we hadn't flinched lightyears apart from each other at her gasp, but it was our instinct to run and hide. As it turns out, we didn't melt or fade in the light of discovery, but we certainly did burn.

"Oops!" Mom almost giggled as she tiptoed back into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click. Like she had done something wrong, she apologized. "I'm sorry! Lei, I just came to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down whenever you get hungry!"

Before I could speak even in a timid squeak of a voice, I heard Mom's footsteps retreat down the stairs. Because tense silence had fallen over my room, I heard Donghae ask, "Where's Lei? Is she okay?"

And I heard Heechul say, "She's not curled up in bed with her radio crying her eyes out to SHINee again, is she? I thought we were past that phase!"

I went red in the face because I had certainly grown a bit past that phase, but only because I had Taemin— the real-life person— to curl up with. Thinking only that Taemin was a million times more comforting than any CD had ever been-- and that's really saying something since you know well that music was my best friend before Lucas— I glanced at him.

From the foot of the bed where he had tucked himself into a humiliated ball, Taemin sprang to his feet and started pacing around in the dark.

"Oh my God," he wheezed, nearly tripping over his shoes. "She caught us. Your mother— my manager— caught me in your room. She caught us kissing. She caught us kissing in your room. She caught me kissing you on your bed in your room. She caught me whispering into your mouth that I love you on your bed in the dark in your room."

I had been flustered before Taemin became a human embodiment of anxiety. A fact about me: I strive for balance in almost every situation. If somebody (take Lucas for example) is bouncing off the walls, I will sit perfectly still. If somebody is frowning, I am trying to make them smile, even if it's the briefest, dimmest sort of smile. If somebody (like Taemin was that night) is in a panic, I am level-headed.

So when Taemin tugged at his hair, whining, "She's going to kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll make me break up with you, and then that's gonna kill me. Shit, shit, shit."

"She is not going to kill you," I said confidently because I knew Mom like the back of my hand. Granted, I didn't know every detail of her life before me, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry. Mom never apologizes when she isn't sorry. She never apologizes when she's mad.

I was kind of joking when I said, "If she wanted to kill you, she would have sent Heechul and Donghae flying up the stairs, and—”

"Shit!" Taemin hissed. Profanities didn't suit him. "Super Junior is going to kill me!"

Slightly wavering in confidence, I assured him, "No, they're not. Mom isn't going to say anything to Super Junior."

Besides, I rationalized to myself, Yesung, who would have posed the biggest threat to Taemin's life, already knew that we were together. If Yesung didn't kill Taemin at the Christmas party, I figured that we were in the clear.

If Taemin hadn't been pacing so quickly, I might have tried to catch him in my arms to kiss his worries away as he had done for me. Given that kissing had led to this tension, though, he might not have appreciated the affection. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't try to kiss him.

Taemin collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face into his hands. When moments passed in silence, I took the chance to say, "She won't make us break up either, Taem. She just-- she was probably just shocked because she didn't know you were here. On top of that, she has always thought that Lucas and I are a thing, so—”

Into his palms, Taemin groaned, "She probably thinks you're cheating on Lucas with me or something! That makes everything a billion times worse!"

"It's more likely that she just realized that Lucas and I were never together. I mean, I've told her often enough that the message was bound to sink in sooner or later." After pulling Taemin's hands away from his face, I laced our fingers together. I gave both hands a gentle squeeze. "I get that this isn't how we wanted Mom to find out about us, but she had to find out somehow."

To tell you the truth, I was relieved that she found out in this private aspect of life and not through a tabloid expose.

"I know that you wanted to keep this-- us-- a secret so we could be roommates on tour, but we couldn't hide in the dark forever."

And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. I wasn't eager to pen some press release or anything, but I think I was outgrowing that compulsion, that dependence on secrecy and shadows; they didn't comfort me anymore.

From everything that happened over those past few months, I learned that secrets are damning. At least in my own home, I wanted to live openly and honestly. Maybe Mom's unexpected discovery made that possible.

Stunned by my lack of humiliation, slackjawed because, for the first time, Taemin was embarrassed while I was not, I realized out loud, "I think— I think I'm glad that she found out." Drawing a deep breath, the kind that makes you realize that you've been holding your breath for far too long, I admitted, "I think— I think I've wanted her to know for a long time. Maybe forever."

Silence ensued as Taemin breathed heavily. Deeply. Inhale, count to ten. Exhale, count to ten.

My mouth opened, probably to explain that I nearly told Mom all about us on the drive to Grandma's house on my debut anniversary, but Taemin's stare took my voice away. He blinked at me. The spark in his eyes made me think that he wanted to smile at me. In hindsight, I guess he didn't. Taemin always smiled whenever he wanted to smile, and he didn't offer me the smallest grin for the rest of the night.

"I have to go," he breathed before stepping into his shoes.

That deep breath I had just drawn passed through my lips all at once. I said the wrong thing. There is nothing worse than when the truth— the full and absolute truth that rings in the deepest part of your heart— is the wrong thing to say. How can anyone regret telling the truth? How can anybody want to snatch the truth out of the air once it has been released?

"O-okay."

My stutter did not pass unnoticed despite my efforts to hide it with a smile. Taemin sat back by my side, took my face into his warm hands, and pecked at my lips. The kiss was over before I even realized it was happening.

"I love you, baby," Taemin promised. I swooned less at the affirmation of what I already knew and more at the variation of his name for me. He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Go down to dinner, and I'll talk to you later."

Rising to my feet in time with him, I said, "I love you too. Forever, Taemin."

Because I didn't want to watch him scramble out of the window, because I was at great risk of begging him to stay for dinner with Mom and Donghae and Heechul and Lucas— my family— to once and for all drag our remaining secrets into the light, I walked away. From the vanity, I grabbed the old photograph that I had yet to return to Donghae. I don't think I closed the door behind me on my way out of the room.

I tiptoed down the stairs, quietly hoping that Taemin would follow. Or maybe I was hoping that I would return from dinner to find him waiting on my bed with open arms. In the end, I was disappointed, but I didn't feel like a fool for daring to hope.

. . .

It turned out that Lucas's description of the rivalry between Donghae and Heechul was not all that dramatized.

Sandwiched between the two men at the dining room table, Mom looked nothing like the fairytale queen I imagined she would become in her happy ending. The squabbling must have gotten under her skin, etched those lines into her forehead, weighed down on the corners of her lips, and sharpened the glare she hurled at Heechul for a (probably offensive) comment that I hadn't heard over my thoughts as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Lei!" Lucas cheered, pumping two fists into the air, because he was no longer alone with the adults. "Where've ya been?"

I couldn't narrow or roll my eyes at Lucas. He had no way to know that I had been kissing Taemin all day. He didn't have any clue that Mom just walked in on the most intimate moment of my life.

Blushing slightly under everybody's stare— smiling only because Moms smiled first and reminded me that everything was okay— I hummed, "I was just counting the stars."

As I sat in the seat next to Lucas and across from Donghae, I sat the picture frame onto the table. I met Donghae's gentle gaze and nodded. "I believe this belongs to you."

"I believe it does!" Donghae beamed and took the photograph into his hands. "Is this a new frame?" He asked as his thumb traced along the infinity symbol.

"Yep!" I omitted the fact that I had broken the original frame on that night I peeled his poster off the wall. "I— I hope you like it." I would have bashfully dropped my gaze onto the table if Donghae were the kind of person anyone could look away from. He looks right through the soul, you know, and I was finally comfortable with that.

While he untied one of the white threads around his wrist, Donghae swore, "I love it, Lei!" He motioned for me to hold out my wrist.

I watched, smiling, as Donghae knotted the infinity bracelet for me. All I could think about was my ribbon around Taemin's wrist. All I could think was that Donghae's thread bracelet was a ribbon too. We were tied together. Soulmates. Forever.

Then, my eyes were drawn to his red thread ribbon. Mom wore-- wears— one identical to that. They were tied together too. Soulmates. Forever.

So don't fault me for disagreeing with Taemin's belief that everything was falling apart with Mom's discovery of our kiss. It was clear for anybody to see (if they knew where to look) that happiness wasn't contingent upon the idea that everything will be okay. Everything was okay. Everything is okay. Happiness had arrived.

Except it wasn't happiness. The warmth spreading through my chest and painting life-- which had gone from dull shades of gray to pale hues with Lucas to sporadic brilliant bursts of color in the night with Taemin— was named joy. I read once that joy is forever, and I believed it then, and I believe it still. So, for the first time in a long time, as I looked at Donghae and Donghae looked back at me, I was not afraid for the sun to rise. I was not anxious because the sun had risen.

"It's not fair!" Heechul shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. "I practically live here, and the girl still favors Donghae!" Staring at me so intently that I thought his eyes might pop out of his head, Heechul demanded, "How come we never exchange gifts at the table, huh? I've been crashing on that couch for however many years, and you've never given me so much as a high-five!"

I raised my hands in total sincere surrender. "Look, I'm not picking favorites. I love you both. And if you start getting annoying and demanding me to pick favorites-- well-- let's not get into this again."

Donghae pouted into his glass of water. "You mean Yesung is still your favorite?"

And Heechul groaned at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

And Lucas chirped, "You gotta love Lei's unfailing loyalty!"

As I started forking through my dinner-- a salad because a.) my mouth was entirely too sensitive to the spicy noodles everyone else could slurp without watering in the eyes, and b.) I was trying yet another diet-- Mom caught my eye. She was watching me, smiling knowingly, determined to see me blush.

Uninterested in attracting any of the boys' attention, I subtly raised my eyebrows, trusting that Mom wouldn't say anything to expose my intimate information.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I swear, she winked at me and I almost choked. "I was hoping that you could meet with me tomorrow. Nothing too serious, just a quick check-in on that project you've been working on."

Obviously, there was no project. Mom was just trying to tease me a bit and ensure that I made time to tell her about the events that led to the kiss that took our breath away.

Donghae and Heechul didn't know any of that, though, and they started pestering me about the project— "Is it a new song?" Heechul asked, and Donghae guessed, "Is the agency letting you write a ballad?"— while Lucas watched me through eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Would you two hush?" Mom hissed at Donghae and Heechul. "Just let Lei keep her secrets for now!"

Mom and I laughed together and the others looked at us like we were crazy. That's okay, though. I didn't mind their stares. I was too happy that Mom saw me; I was too happy that there would be no more secrets between us come tomorrow morning. If I had it my way, I decided, there would never be another secret between us for the rest of our lives.

"I always have time for you," I told her through a grin. "Just name the hour, and I'll drop everything for you."

I had until 9 o'clock in the morning to decide what I wanted to tell Mom. Once I walked into my bedroom, I flipped on the overhead light, nabbed an empty moleskine notebook from the bookshelf, and sat at the desk I hadn't used since the long past poetry-writing days. Having grown significantly since then, I had to pull that little lever that lowers the rolling office chair.

Several of the pens that I dug out of the top drawer had gone dry, but I finally found one-- a dark almost-black blue-- that worked. I used it to map out the constellations, everything that happened before the kiss. Debuting with SuperM, giving Taemin my ribbon, the first game of Truth or Dare, crying that night in the garden, falling asleep with Taemin every night in America, the NCT Dream VLive incident, the Great Come Apart in Grandma's dining room, the roller coaster that was the Christmas party, visiting the wishing fountain where Baekhyun gave me a flower crown, kissing Taemin throughout New Year's Night and into New Year's Day.

I poured all of myself into that story, this story. On these pages, you can find me: my fears, my dreams, my hopes. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, Mom. I know you do.

By the time I lay me down to sleep, it is 4 O'Clock in the morning. Now, I wait for the sun to rise so I can share everything.