#ooh a cliffhanger! how mysterious

[tellthatbrokebitch]

birthday present! snippet from the next chapter of the zombie apocalypse au - this time with ACTUAL zombies!

They’re almost out of there when they hear it.

First is the groaning, a sound they’ve all - Steve and Will, that is - been conditioned to respond to with a dip in the stomach, a feeling of overarching dread. Next is the shuffle of feet, dragging listlessly on the ground. And finally, the most dreaded noise of them all: the uptick in activity, the snorts and snarls that signify their presence has been noticed.

Erica is less familiar with it, as she was only occasionally allowed to join Lucas on scouting missions, but after several seconds the sounds seem to register and she freezes in place. Mabel, however - Mabel is new.

Without looking up, she says, too loud too loud, “Should I grab these, too? They don’t-”

Someone reaches out and grabs her - Will isn’t sure who, because he’s already lunging for the door stupid stupid, he didn’t make sure it was closed, and the only thing that saves them is the fact that the door has partially closed itself, already halfway to shut when Will slams into it and pushes it the rest of the way. A filthy hand manages to slip through, trying to scratch and claw for them with its dark, blood-stained talons. But Will is nothing if not determined, and he pulls back minutely to slam against the door again, and again, putting all of his weight into the motion. A second later, someone comes up on his left to lend their weight too, and someone else bashes the hand with something club-like, and finally the door crashes shut.

“Fuck,” Erica says; she’s the one on his left, now sagged against the door and breathing just as heavily as Will. “How are we going to get past those smelly undead assholes? There’s only one door!”

Steve drops the trophy and lifts both hands to rake through his hair. “Shit! Shit, we can’t - Will, did you see how many were out there?”

“No, I was kinda busy! Judging by the noise, though-” because the zombies were still there, raking their nails against the door and slamming against it and howling and snarling with hunger and rage- “too many!”

“So what are we going to do?” Erica asks again, staring right at Steve. “You’re the experts! What do you usually do in these situations?”

“We don’t get into these situations, Erica, there is no usually! We have no plan!”

“Okay, if we survive this, you can be damn sure I’m going to kill you myself! You thought my mom was scary, you haven’t seen nothing. Count your days, Harrington-”

Will looks away as they bicker, over to the corner where he expects Mabel to still be frozen in shock. She isn’t paying them any attention; instead, she’s fumbling for something by the window, the lift cord, and as he watches she tugs on it, raising the blinds. “Mabel?” he calls out, and when she glances back at him, eyes wide and startled but blessedly alert, he continues, “Do you have an idea?”

“Oh, I - I think I saw, before we came in - the roof-”

As soon as her words register, Will rushes over to her side, peering out of the window she’s just hastily opened. The roof is indeed right below the window, and he gives a soft whoop. “Good eye, Mabel! Okay, I’m gonna go first, okay? Make sure there’s a way down safely.”

He makes sure his pack is secure on his back before swinging through the narrow window, awkwardly straddling the window pane for a moment before swinging the other leg over. From further inside the room, there’s the ear-splitting sound of breaking wood, but when he sticks his head back inside, Mabel pushes him back out - gently, but with enough force to get the point across. “Go!” she hisses, which at least tells him that she’s learned her lesson about speaking too loudly, even if it’s sort of a moot point at this stage. “Steve’s got it, just go!”

[hypnagogics]

before you read ▪︎ loose continuation to THIS

ultra loser!ellie x teasing(slightly sadistic tbh)!reader. reads fine as a standalone!! no fr sex, but still nsfw!!! loads of teasing, ellie's shy and flustered (also gave her glasses and piercings muahahah AND HAPPY TRAIL MENTION YAYYY), reader's a little insistent (but it's ok), mentions of masturbation, discussion of sex, REALLY horny making out at the end lol, heavy petting, they almost do it, tiny abby cameo, buildup AS PER USUAL YALL KNOW THE DRILL, kinda cliffhanger ending (its on purpose HAHA), different layout bc i cheated n looked at the poll oops...NGL TS HAD ME SWEATINGGG WRITING IT LMFAO don't think i have ever written something more horny....ok enjoy! + 2.2k wc

apparently both of you missed the professor's class cancellation email on this fateful day… other students showed up too, but they left quickly after seeing it was empty. ellie stayed to catch up on some work, enjoying the silence and typing away on her laptop, which looked like one of those beefy gaming computers.

covered in stickers and the keys changing color, you thought it was interesting she'd lug that thing around campus with her, instead of opting for something light and sleek. and now that leaves you. you had no other plans for the day, and had already mentally prepared yourself for this class, totally unaware it was canceled.

you realized it wasn't a bad idea to copy ellie, and catch up on some of your own work. however you were more intrigued by her, to be totally honest with yourself.

watching her from a distance, she captivated you. she never seemed to notice your stares, too absorbed in her thoughts. you watched her type, efficiently and quickly, pausing only to push her glasses further up her nose with her slim fingers.

the truth is, she's hot. but no one was hearing you out on that, unfortunately. they'd say to you, “what a loser! i don't think i've ever heard her talk.”

you felt overwhelmed by the urge to strike up a real conversation with her—more that simple greetings or coursework questions— and it was the perfect opportunity to do just that. so you got up, sat yourself down in the empty spot right next to her, and put on the most charming grin you could muster up. she abruptly snapped out of her focus, almost flinching at your presence.

“hey! you're ellie, right? whatcha working on?” you got close to her to see, being met with a bunch of hieroglyphic-looking strings of symbols on the screen. woah, smarty-pants. “um, it's just…some project, i dunno. how d’you know my name?”

she finally looked at you, her eyes round, wider than the ufo saucer stickers on the back of her computer. they were so green, the hazel ring reminded you of a polished agate stone. the scattered freckles on her face were so pretty too, you'd never been close enough to her to really take notice. she nervously scanned your features, blotches of pink blush decorating the apples of her plump cheeks.

she was so cute, and noticing her evident shyness flipped a switch inside you, what if you messed with her a little?

you shrugged at her, “just seen you around. you're so mysterious.” you lilt, manipulating your tone to make it smoother on the ears, even containing hints of seduction if you dared.

she blushed a deeper raspberry shade and looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her rings. she was somehow getting more attractive by the second, your heart felt like it was about to burst.

“am i? never thought of it that way, you're funny.” she mumbles, her antsiness obvious. but you didn't wish to let up so soon, you were having a lot more fun flustering her than you'd ever care to admit, even wanting to see just how far you could push her.

“ooh, i love your rings. where did you get em?” “just…places. why are you asking me so many questions?” you sighed and rolled your eyes, “well, ellie. we both don't have anything else to do, gotta pass the time somehow. i wanna talk with you, is that okay?” she took a deep breath and nodded, visibly relaxing. she stretched out her arm to get rid of the tabs on her computer, close it, and put it in her bag, which is when you got a look at her forearm tattoo.

“also i'm obsessed with your tattoo, you have no idea how cool you are, how are girls not all over you?” you question, taking her wrist in your hands and examining the tattoo's intricate line work, tracing your fingertips over the pigment in her skin.

you heard her breathing change in tempo, quickening ever so slightly. but she didn't move her arm away, and let you continue. she took a second to respond. “um. thanks, i guess. i don't really know what you mean.” her voice cracked when she said the last part, igniting a flame inside you, one that you didn't know existed.

your mind wandered, you began wondering what she sounds like when she whimpers. was she really so starved of human contact you could mold her like putty, just with your fingers and tongue? you wanted to find out so badly, wanted to hear how she'd cry your name out if you fucked her into oblivion. was she a squirter or a creamer? you hoped to the heavens above you'd get to find out someday. maybe it was too much to fantasize like this, considering you formally met just now, but you weren't hurting anyone if it all never left the confines of your mind.

you were lucky you hid your own arousal well, nothing out of the ordinary showed on your face whatsoever. ellie wasn't so lucky—to her dismay, but to your delight—everything played out on her delicate features so clearly, it was nothing short of delectable. 

your eyes bore into hers, the intensity of the eye contact making her shiver, and attempt to break it. “ellie, ellie, ellie, may i call you els?” you didn't wait for an answer, and continued, “do you have a girlfriend?” you pouted your lips at her, feigning sadness as if her response was something you didn't already infer.

she was stuttering now, stumbling over her words, making less and less sense as the conversation went on. she was anxiously bouncing her leg, you could see her chest rising and falling, and her face had turned a lovely crimson color, it was so strong, the flush had spread down her neck and reached her ears, making her piercings stand out. good lord. 

“ahem- no, i don't have a girlfriend. actually never have, shocking i know.” she chuckles at her self-deprecating joke, and while her smile was enough to light up a room, you wanted to slap the doubt out of her. or rather, fuck it out of her. 

you exhaled loudly, “hahh, well isn't that a shame. you're so pretty, i'll just have to snatch you up for myself then.” she swallowed audibly, greatly taken aback. “sorry, what?” “oh, don't you know how much people love losers like you? tsk tsk tsk, you're so much hotter than you realize, i mean it, els. look at you! you've got these piercings, this tattoo, you're smarter than this whole class combined, seriously.” 

she just gaped at you, unable to process what she was hearing. no one had ever talked to her like this, it was only something she read about. and coming from you? this ethereal person who starred in all of her most intimate fantasies? she rubbed her eyes roughly, convinced she was hallucinating. her mouth opened and closed dumbly, her voice box failing to produce any sound. but you were affecting her so much, especially because she lusted after you to an extent she could only take to the grave.

flashes of her midnight escapades flickered in her mind, of her shoving her hand down her pants like an animal in heat, orgasming so intensely she'd black out, abusing her hole with nothing but images of you playing in her mind, and your name on her tongue. her cheeks burned with the embarrassment of her wild actions, and she shook her head to clear the thoughts away. 

you groaned and leaned back in your own seat, exclaiming, “god i'm so bored. and pent up, fuck. it's been so long since i had sex…” that was true. in any other situation you'd never say something like that aloud, but because you were alone with the clueless idiot you wanted so carnally, you let it slip. 

“...maybe you should take care of that.” you heard her cough out, her voice coming out strangled. “i could. but that's boring.” you opened your eyes again and smirked devilishly her way, poor girl looked like she was about to go on a trip with the ferryman. 

you grabbed her hand, examining it some more, commenting, “you play guitar, don't you? guitarists are very good with their hands, i will say.” you played with her hand, pressing it into a fist, then extending her middle and ring finger. gosh, what's gotten into you? “i bet you're sooo good.” 

you've never seen a person look more flustered than she did right now in this moment. her voice was impossibly quiet, barely above a whisper, “cut it out.” “okay, fine.”

some beats of silence passed, but a thought crossed your mind. if she really hated this interaction that much, she could have got up and left eons ago, yet she stayed here and endured it all. hmm. you blurted out, “els, have you kissed anyone before?” 

and again she stayed silent, even after you waited patiently for an answer. she kept looking away, her jaw tense. 

you decided to quit the teasing just for a moment, and speak to her gently, genuinely. you shifted to sit a little closer to her and asked, “do you want to?” her gaze locked onto your mouth, she licked her lips, then muttered, “if you're really offering and not just fucking with me, sure-” 

your patience broke and you didn't wait for her to finish her sentence before swiftly leaning forward and connecting your lips with hers, relishing the tiny gasp she made as soon as you did it. she tasted like a dream.

after a split second she kissed you back, it was inexperienced and clumsy, fueled by adrenaline, but she got into a rhythm soon enough. you took the lead and deepened the kiss, absent-mindedly tugging on her bottom lip with your teeth, coaxing eager whimpers out of her, pure music to your ears.

you succumbed to the sensations and increased the pace, your tongue dancing against hers. you felt her hands fumble by your waist, and she pulled you closer to her. your hands clawed at her chest, the beautiful symphony of panting, the wet smacking of your lips colliding, and her uncontrolled moans filled the empty room.

she gripped your waist so tightly, fingertips surely leaving small marks in their wake, you couldn't wait to find them later, and you shamelessly felt up her chest, your thumbs finding her nipples—perky, hard, and poking out through her thin shirt. you caressed and rubbed and squeezed, feeling her jolt under your magical touch.

she was fully whining now. spilling needy, high-pitched sounds, this was better than you could've ever imagined. neither one of you breaking the kiss for even a second, your hand trailed lower and landed on her stomach, slipping under the bottom of her shirt. you felt her defined abs tensing, and the whisper of a happy trail—now it was your turn to moan.

she got even louder and her kisses got sloppier, and you were about to venture inside her waistband before a sudden sound startled you both. 

your phone vibrated aggressively, and with great effort you separated yourself from ellie, long strings of spit connecting you to her still.

she whimpered from the loss of contact, chasing your lips, then huffing and quietly groaning while you took out your phone, her hands not letting go of your waist. when you checked it, it was a message from your friend, abby, just saying: URGENT. COME HERE NOW. ASAP.

fuck her. fuck her and her timing, was all you could think. really, now? you wanted to kill her.

trying to slow your breathing and racing heart, you explained apologetically, “ugh, it's urgent. im so, so sorry ellie, i gotta go.” she stared at you, speechless, but nodded meekly, reluctantly retracting her arms. you didn't want to leave, and stayed gazing at her for a little longer, and brushed a loose strand of soft hair out of her face. what a cutie, she looked all disheveled and dazed. you were about to look for a paper to scribble down your number to keep in touch, until your phone buzzed again, and started ringing with abby's repeated attempts to get ahold of you. couldn't she wait a minute?

you gave ellie one last devastated look, getting up and rushing out of the classroom before abby called you another seventeen times. 

ellie was left in the classroom, reeling from the encounter and what it had turned into. she was utterly bewildered at the events that transpired, her blood rushing in her ears, mind spinning, lips still puffy, glasses fogged over, hands trembling, and of course a sticky, uncomfortable damp spot in her boxers. she leaned forward to rest her head on the desk in front of her on top of crossed arms, to take a moment to cool down before escaping back to her place. 

“holy shit.” 

im horny🧍‍♂️just like ellie after that. as soon as she got home, u best believe she came so hard she saw literal angels and deities LMFAOO (this is my favorite thing ive ever written gawdDAYUM)

yall who wanted more, hope this suffices as a continuation! @stonerzdaze420692 @womenlvrrr

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

The Hedge Knight graphic novel - could it work as a roadmap for HBO's A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms?

So, per reports, HBO's Dunk & Egg show is going to be 6 episodes. I've seen several people saying that's too long, it should be 4 episodes at most, a 2 hour movie at most, there will be too much filler, blah blah blah. Well let me tell you, that's not true!

In 2003, The Hedge Knight was adapted as a 6 issue comic book (later collected as a graphic novel), and I think its script, each issue ending in a cliffhanger or dun-dun-dunnn moment, would work perfectly for the show, and is very probably how they'll do it.

Potential spoilers under the cut, but first - is this not perfect casting and costuming? It so is.

Like I said, I think each issue could be the plot of each episode. So I'm just going to summarize these issues, I hope you've read the GN or the novella. (If not, go read it, go read all of Dunk & Egg, it's so good.)

#1 - Dunk buries Ser Arlan, decides to go to Ashford for the tourney, meets Egg and a weird drunk guy at an inn on the way, gets to Ashford, sets up camp in the forest (bathes naked in a stream), goes to the tourney field and sees Tanselle performing her puppet show, gets measured for armor he can't quite afford, gets back to his camp to find the weird little bald kid making dinner.

#2 - Dunk agrees Egg can be his squire, that night he sees the falling star, next morning goes to Ashford castle and gets told he needs to prove he's a knight to enter the tourney (or that Arlan was, since he says Arlan knighted him), meets Aerion (badly) but also the Kingsguard, sells his horse for armor money, talks to Tanselle and meets the Fossoways, then meets up with the young Dondarrion lord whose dad Arlan worked for and relates the House Dondarrion origin story (imagine them telling that via puppet imagery, ooh), gets told "yeah knowing that is no proof you're a knight, sucks to be you".

#3 - Dunk goes back to the castle, stumbles into Baelor and Maekar arguing about M's missing kids, Baelor remembers his epic joust with Arlan so yay Dunk can be in the tourney, Dunk and Egg talk to Tanselle about painting him a shield, they watch the opening of the tourney (lots of jousting and pageantry including Lyonel "the Laughing Storm" Baratheon), and the first day ends after Aerion deliberately kills that horse.

#4 - Dunk argues with Egg over how much of a douche Aerion is, more flirting with Tanselle, gossip with Raymun Fossoway about the Targaryens, Egg runs in to say Aerion's hurting Tanselle, Dunk beats up Aerion and almost gets murdered by Aerion's goons, Egg reveals himself to save Dunk, Dunk in prison, talks to Egg and Baelor, Baelor tells him he can be mutilated for striking a prince or ask for trial by combat, so "how good a knight are you, truly?"

#5 - Aerion says sure, trial by combat, but only a trial of seven, Dunk has to find 6 guys, talks to Raymun and Steffon Fossoway, Daeron apologizes and tells Dunk his dragon dream, shield reveal, next morning the smallfolk are all "a knight who remembered his vows", various guys show up to help Dunk and Raymun gets knighted, but Steffon Fossoway goes to Aerion's side so they're still missing a guy, "are there no true knights among you?", wait is that Valarr??? no it's Baelor in Valarr's armor omg

#6 - The trial of seven. You know how this ends. 😭 Then talking to Maekar, and Dunk and Egg ride off into the sunset together.

I hope that's convincing enough for the doubters! I can see a few points where something might be shifted from the end of one to the beginning of the other -- but on the whole I think the comic is an excellent roadmap for the show, and I hope this is the way they lay it out. Also ftr, the Sworn Sword graphic novel was also originally 6 issues so possibly season 2 ditto (unless they add an episode for the in between THK-TSS Dorne and Oldtown adventures that didn't actually appear in the novellas, idk). But the Mystery Knight was only released as one book, so who knows, they might go for more episodes when they get to that season.

Also, re taking inspiration from the comic, I really hope they adapt the Kingsguards' gold codpieces. Just because.

[intothewickedwood]

Ooh, you watched One of Us Is Lying! I love that show! I read the book last year and I thought it was pretty good but then I watched the show and while I don't like some of the changes they made, I think the show is actually much, much better! It treats all the characters as people, not just our 4 main characters. It was definitely a big surprise and I'm glad to see you've enjoyed it too!

Yes!! Just finished it last week after watching it over a few months! I wasn't expecting to enjoy it half as much as I did, but the mystery each season really kept me on my toes! It was so hard to keep from binging it. Definitely gonna check the book series out! Do you know if the book series continues from the shows s2 cliffhanger? That finale was incredible, but the cliffhanger to finding out it was cancelled!! It's a shame the characters aren't as fleshed out in the books. I loved how the show got me to like characters I initially didn't. I'll probably have to mix book canon with tv show canon where possible.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I gotta know, who were your favourite characters/ships and what were your favourite parts? Did you guess the murderer in s1 and/or in s2?

[teaberrii]

Chapter Eight: A Step Back?

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

“Daaamn. So, he held her hand in front of you and mom and everything?”

You and Lumine are visiting Aether at the hospital. Lumine has just finished telling Aether everything that happened during that evening. You’ve been casually listening, ensuring Lumine doesn’t exaggerate the truth. By the end, Aether smiles at you.

“It’s like one of the stories you write, Sis.” Then, he lowers his voice and says dramatically, “What did they talk about after the mother and sister left? Stay tuned…”

Lumine laughs. “It definitely sounds like a cliffhanger.”

“Well, if things really go well, I’m happy for ‘ya, Sis.” Aether tears open a chocolate bar. “It’s about time that ginger gets some competition.”

A soft knock comes at Aether’s door.

You and Lumine are surprised to see a girl about the same age as the twins. Her eyes are slightly darker than the colour of her hair that's tied into a high ponytail. She's wearing a dark hospital gown that makes her skin look even paler than it already is.

“A-Ayaka!”

You and your sister glance at each other. Ayaka? Since when did Aether make a friend?

She walks in, and you see she’s holding one of Aether’s video games. “Hello. I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” She gives you and Lumine a slight bow.

“No! Not at all!”

“I came to return the video game you lent me the other day," Ayaka says, putting the video game on the nightstand beside Aether's bed.

“You lent her one of your video games?” Lumine gasps.

Aether shoots her a warning look, but his twin remains unfazed.

“Yes.” Ayaka smiles. “He was kind enough to lend me one when I was recovering.”

“Well, well, looks like Aether’s all grown up!”

Ayaka looks at Aether. “Are these two…”

“They’re my sisters.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ayaka,” you say. “I should thank you for giving my brother company.”

Lumine nods. “That’s why we brought him his games in the first place. He wouldn’t stop complaining about how bored he was.”

Ayaka doesn’t see Aether’s deadpan look toward his twin. “I quite enjoy Aether’s company. He’s a fun person to talk to.”

“Oh, is he now?” Lumine asks with a smile. “That’s good to hear!”

Then, Ayaka bows once. “I should return to my room. My brother will be coming soon.”

“You have a brother?” Lumine asks.

“Yes.” Ayaka looks at you. “He should be around the same age as you or maybe a little older. His name is Ayato.”

“Ooh, perhaps we can all get lunch together sometime!” Lumine says excitedly.

“I think that would be a lovely idea.”

“I second that,” you say.

“I, uh, anytime’s good for me!”

“As long as you get to see Ayaka, right?” Lumine says quietly. Aether glares at her, and she returns it with a smile.

Ayaka chuckles. “I guess Aether and I can arrange something.”

“Yeah!”

You and Lumine give Ayaka a small wave just before she leaves.

Once Ayaka is out of sight, Lumine turns to her brother and asks, “Pickin’ up girls at the hospital, are we now?”

You laugh. “She seems like a nice girl.”

“Maybe the only girl who will give Aether a chance.”

Aether sticks his tongue out at his twin. “Ha-ha. Hilarious, Lumine.”

As your siblings continue to bicker, you look at your watch. It's almost time to meet your friends. You grab your bag off the armchair, which gets Aether's attention.

“Leaving already, Sis?”

“I’m meeting Candace and Dehya to get my dress today.”

Lumine gasps. “Oh! For the Awards night, right?”

“That’s the one.”

Once you leave the room, you see a woman walk out of the room next door. Isn’t that the room Alhaitham’s grandfather is staying in? Her long, blue locks make her stand out. Coupled with her fair skin, she would turn heads down the street. Could this woman be a friend of Alhaitham’s? Or…

You walk in the other direction, trying and failing to kill your curiosity.

◆◆◆

As soon as you enter the high-end boutique, Candace waves at you while Dehya goes in for a hug.

“There she is!"

You walk up and hug Dehya, a friend from school who you introduced to Candace a few years ago. 

"I should get your autograph now before you become too famous!"

"And what?" you ask. "Sell it?"

Dehya laughs. "You got me."

“Did you have lunch yet?” Candace asks.

“Yeah, I already ate. I came from the hospital, actually,” you say. “I was visiting my brother.”

“Aether?” Dehya asks. “What did he get himself into this time?”

“He broke his leg while snowboarding.”

“Ouch… but the kid’s learning to snowboard now?”

"Well, he isn't sure he wants to go again after that incident."

Soon, you and Dehya get caught up with what's happening in your lives. Unlike you and Candace, who are creatives, Dehya works in law enforcement. You aren't surprised. She was incredibly athletic in school, having more physical strength than some of the boys. Her grades were also good. Her intelligence and athletics made her intimidating to most of the students, but it was also the reason why the two of you became friends.

Dehya looks around the high-end boutique. “So, Candace, care to give some recs?”

Candace looks at you. “Do you already have something in mind?”

“Not really… but I guess I’d like to try something different.”

She smiles. “A bolder look, maybe?”

“Something that’ll truly knock people off their feet!” Dehya adds.

“Let’s start with the overall design,” Candace suggests. “Once you like the dress, we can start looking at colours.”

After a while of you and your friends going through racks and racks of dresses, Dehya brings up the school reunion, something you’ve been thinking about.

“I haven’t replied to Collei yet,” you say. “Are you going?”

Dehya nods. Then, she quietly says, "He won't be there, you know. Collei wouldn't invite him."

You know that Collei wouldn't invite your ex if she's inviting you. She's not that type of person. 

“...I know she wouldn’t.”

Is it bad to say that you don't want to see any of your old classmates? It's not like you're close to them. They're acquaintances at best. Some knew your ex and probably still kept in touch. However, you didn't want to deal with any questions about him. He used to haunt your dreams; his influence left harmful traces in almost every aspect of your life. 

"I don't want to see them." You sigh. "Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against them. It's just…."

“Hey. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Dehya says kindly. “If you don’t want to go, don’t go.”

You give her a small smile, and she returns it with one of her own.

"...I haven't decided, though, so I haven't replied."

“Something wrong?”

You and Dehya look at Candace, who’s holding a black satin off-sleeve dress that’s round and low-cut at the front with a slit on the side.

“I didn’t know dress shopping would be such a downer,” she jokes.

“Oh, it’s not that,” you say.

Dehya quickly gets Candace up to speed about Collei's invitation to a school reunion. Candace quickly catches on; she knows, after all, that your ex went to school with you.

“The reason you haven't replied... Is it because you might want to go?” Candace asks.

She's right. A part of you wants to show off this incredible person you've become. But would there be a point to that? The more you think about it, it seems like you'd be going for all the wrong reasons. Maybe it's best to leave it all behind.

The bell at the entrance sounds, signalling a customer. You, Dehya, and Candace turn around, and your eyes widen when you see Alhaitham… with a woman. The same woman you saw at the hospital earlier today.

“Haitham?” Candace asks, obviously surprised.

Alhaitham is just as surprised to see you.

“Layla!” Dehya exclaims.

“Dehya?” the woman smiles. “I never thought I’d see you at a boutique.”

“That’s cuz I’m here with friends!”

“Well, it looks like we all know each other,” Candace says. “Care to introduce us, Dehya?”

You learn that the woman with Alhaitham is Layla, a Sumeru native living out of the city until recently. She and Alhaitham are old friends, while she and Dehya met at a city event a few years ago. 

“I’m not surprised Haitham knows so many great people,” she says. “It’s wonderful meeting you.”

“So… are you two on a date?” Dehya asks.

“No.”

“That was quick.”

“You must excuse his bluntness,” Candace says.

Layla chuckles. “But it’s true. We aren’t on a date. He’s just accompanying me for the day.”

“What brings the two of you here?” you ask.

"I want to get a new suit," Layla says. "Haitham says that he has a friend who works in the fashion business and thought she could help out." She looks at Candace. "I guess he was referring to you."

“At least he knows a good designer when he sees one,” Candace jokes.

“What about you?” Alhaitham asks, looking at you.

“I’m looking for a dress for the Awards Night."

Candace holds up the black dress. “What do you think about this one, Haitham?”

“Have you tried it on?”

“Not yet.”

Alhaitham smiles at you. “Go try it on.”

“What? So you can judge me?” you ask jokingly.

He leans close enough to whisper in your ear, "No, silly. So, you can see how beautiful you'd look in it."

Your eyes go wide.

“Something wrong?”

Looks like no one else heard what he said. You aren't surprised. With how he lowered his voice like that, it's only loud enough for you to hear but also sends a surprising shiver down your spine. You feel someone's hands on your shoulders. When you turn, you see Candace.

“I bet he told you to try it on, right?”

“Yeah…”

Candace smiles and hands you the dress. “Then, hurry and try it on, girl!”

Once you leave for the dressing room, Dehya points her finger at him. "Who are you to her? How come I haven't heard about you?"

“I’m her neighbour,” Alhaitham answers calmly.

“And her C—”

“She lives across from me,” Alhaitham quickly interrupts. He gives Candace a look, and she catches on and subtly nods.

“You two seem too... close to just be neighbours,” Dehya says.

“She’s also a friend.”

It’s obvious Dehya doesn’t buy it.

Layla chuckles. “Let’s stop grilling them, Dehya. Perhaps they’re a work in progress.”

Dehya jabs Alhaitham in the chest. "I don't know who you are, but you'd better not try anything funny."

“Don’t worry,” Candace says. “I’ll keep an eye on them.”

Dehya still looks suspiciously at Alhaitham as she says, "Well, if you're friends with Candace, I guess you should be okay."

“I appreciate you’re looking out for her,” Alhaitham says.

Dehya blinks once. Twice. Then, she turns to Candace. “Is he always like this?”

“Like what?”

Dehya looks back. “Like… I don’t know. Polite?”

“If it’s any reassurance, Candace already gave me a similar warning,” Alhaitham says. “I do not plan on trying anything’ funny’ with her. If anything”—his gaze turns stern—“I’d like to look out for her.”

You come out of the dressing room with the dress on. Candace is the first to walk up to you.

“It looks good!”

"You think?" you ask, looking down at yourself and then at the large mirror on the opposite wall.

Alhaitham approaches you, and you see his subtle smile in the mirror.

“Are you going to wear heels?” You see Layla just behind Alhaitham. “I think it would look nicer if you wore heels.”

You turn around. “I appreciate the suggestion, but aren’t you two here for something else?”

Layla chuckles softly. “Well, it seems like you completely grabbed Haitham’s attention.”

“Oh, I wonder why.”

You give Candace a look, and she smiles back.

“Well, I also think the dress looks nice on you,” Dehya chimes in. “The guy has a good eye.”

You and Alhaitham look at each other, but you’re the first to look away.

Sometime later, in a twisted series of events, you and your friends end up having lunch with Layla and Alhaitham at a nearby restaurant. After telling Layla about what you do, she looks visibly impressed.

“Wow, so you’re the scriptwriter for Love in the Spotlight? I binged it in one day,” she laughs. “It was so well done!” She takes a bite of her food. “How did you come up with the idea? Or… is that a secret?”

“Actually, it was inspired by something I read in the news.”

“I guess when inspiration strikes, it strikes hard.” Layla looks at Alhaitham. “Didn’t you watch it too, Haitham?”

“I did.” He looks at you. “And I enjoyed it.”

You aren’t sure why you find it difficult to meet his eyes. You’ve always taken compliments nicely. So, why do you feel… unexpectedly nervous?

“What did you particularly like about it?” Dehya asks. You gently nudge your friend underneath the table. “Whaaat? I’m just curious! Maybe he didn’t actually watch it and is just saying it.”

Candace cuts into her steak. “So… you’re testing him, is that it?”

"It was the characters who made it enjoyable," Alhaitham answers. "Perhaps it's a personal preference, but I especially enjoyed watching the female lead. From a rookie, unconfident actress to winning awards and giving advice to her juniors... her growth is quite inspiring."

You're pleasantly surprised at his response. You expected to hear "an interesting plot," "the high production value," or something similar. It never really crossed your mind that he'd comment on the characters.

"I'm sure many people would find strength in watching her as well," he continues. He looks at you. "It was a story with substance."

Curious, you ask, “I suppose you like character-driven stories then.”

"Truth be told, I've never thought about it," he says, slightly smiling. "But if my experience with Love in the Spotlight is anything to go by, it depends on whether I think the show delivers meaningful value."

Dehya whistles softly. “What a compliment.”

You can’t hide your smile, and you don’t want to. You feel a new sense of accomplishment as creating something purposeful and inspiring has always been at the top of your creative goals.

“That’s very motivating,” you say honestly. “I appreciate your thoughts, Catman.”

“Catman?”

You slowly look around at the confused faces. Alhaitham, on the other hand, has a slightly amused smile at your blunder.

“That’s… an interesting nickname for Haitham,” Layla says. “Never heard that one before.”

Candace chuckles. “It’s definitely a more creative one than Nerd or Bookworm.”

“Is it because he likes cats?” Deya asks.

Layla laughs. "Or… maybe he's like a cat. I can definitely see that."

You and Alhaitham glance at each other, and he enjoys seeing your little smile as you continue eating.

◆◆◆

You’ve just finished your shower that evening when you hear a knock at the door. You open it to find Alhaitham dressed in a black tank and pants.

“You’re… early,” you say.

"I was wondering if you'd wanted to come over instead."

You raise a brow. “You aren’t going to kidnap me, are you?” Alhaitham gives you a slightly deadpan look, and you shrug with a small smile. “Just making sure.” You lean against the doorframe. “Why, though?”

“I don’t think it’s fair if we keep using your place. If you’re comfortable”—he nods at his unit—“you could come over.”

You look past him and see the closed door. Alhaitham’s place… what would it look like? You’d imagine it would be minimalistic with a black, white, and gray colour scheme.

“...Curious?”

You immediately turn to him when you hear his low voice near your ear. Your lips almost brush against his cheek.

Then, he chuckles. “You can take a look at my book collection.”

“...Your book collection?”

“You have a bookshelf in your room. I assume you like reading.”

The bookshelf in your room isn't big and can be easily missed. So, you’re a little surprised that he remembers the detail.

“It sounds like your book collection is something private.” Then, jokingly, “Don’t tell me you have some R-rated stuff in there.”

To your surprise, Alhaitham looks at you mischievously. “...If you mean sensual literature, I assure you’ll find a little bit of everything.”

You laugh. “Is that what the academics are calling it nowadays?”

"So... is that a yes?"

And that's how you end up at Alhaitham's place.

It's just as you'd imagined, but it's also very clean. You're still standing at the entrance, looking around, when he comes out with tea.

“Take a seat.”

“Your place is nice,” you say, sitting on the black couch. “No cat fur.”

Alhaitham sits on the couch adjacent to you. “You should know I don’t shed.”

You almost choke on your tea. “Right. Of course, you don’t.”

"...There's something I'd like to talk to you about."

You put down your cup.

“The Best Hit Awards…” You already have a feeling you know what he’s getting at. “I’ll need you that night.”

You remember he’ll be the one giving the awards to the recipients. The event also takes place at night… but he would be a cat by then.

“You want me to change you back at the event?” you ask.

"Unfortunately, I don't see any other way."

“I guess not attending the event would leave a bad impression.”

Alhaitham nods.

"...That's a huge risk. But, if we plan carefully…."

“There’s nothing Catman and Batwoman can’t solve together.”

You cross one leg over the other. “What should I take that smile as, hm? Do you have something in mind?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well, I’m all ears.”

You're thinking over Alhaitham's plan later that night when he walks out of his bathroom in all his fluffy, four-legged glory. He jumps onto the sofa, and you turn to him.

“If I wasn’t here, I wonder what your plan would be.”

Alhaitham walks onto your lap and sits facing you. It almost looks like he’s smiling, but you can’t be sure.

“Don’t tell me you expect me to turn you back like this,” you deadpan. “It’s not going to happen.”

He steps toward you, and you stare at each other in silence. Finally, you scratch him behind the ears, and he nuzzles against your hand. Is this his cat instincts, or…?

“I thought you were going to show me your book collection.”

Alhaitham meows and jumps onto the floor. You eventually follow him to his room, where it's just as clean as the rest of his place. Your eyes almost widen at the wall completely filled with books. What surprises you more is that many books look old and have sticky tabs on the pages. Alhaitham jumps onto one of his bookshelves just as you walk over.

A book titled A Drunkard’s Tale gets your attention. “Did you read all of these?”

Alhaitham meows again. He walks along the edge and puts his paw on the spine of a green book. You put the one in your hand back on the shelf and grab the one Alhaitham is pointing to.

“...Heart’s Desire?” You look at him. “Is this the sensual literature you were talking about?”

You flip to a random page and start reading the first paragraph. But, Alhaitham suddenly puts his head on the page you're reading. His eyes are wide and innocent. He slowly inches closer, making reading anything on the page impossible.

You almost chuckle. “I thought I said you should behave if you want to change back.”

Behave? Pssh. He wants to drive you crazy. In a good way, of course. Alhaitham jumps onto the bed, patting the space beside him using his paw.

You assume he’s giving you permission to sit on his bed. So, you close the book and sit on the edge of his bed. You turn away from him, but that ends up being a mistake. Alhaitham jumps on your back, and his paws are on either one of your shoulders. You yelp in surprise. Then, you reach behind you and grab him off your shoulders.

You’re holding him in front of you, his belly exposed. “What was that all about, hm?”

His paws start moving up and down as if reaching for something. You slowly bring him closer until he’s close enough to bonk his head against yours and hug you. His head is against your neck, and you hear him meow softly.

“Is this your way of convincing me to turn you back?”

If that’s how you see it.

Once you put him down on the bed, you stand to face him as he looks up at you expectantly. Finally, he walks to the edge of the bed, his tail straight up. You lean down, not expecting Alhaitham to give you a light lick on your nose. Then, you and he stare at each other for a short moment before your lips curve into a small smile.

As soon as you kiss the top of his head, you almost gasp when you feel Alhaitham grab your wrist.

Then, you hear him whisper in your ear, “You’re getting harder to resist.”

You pull back. Alhaitham has a blanket over his lower half. The two of you stare at each other; his words are still sinking in until…

“I… I should go.”

You don’t wait for a response and hurry out the door.

Chapter Nine

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @sakiimeo @ashtree-and-the-cats @ceylestia @forsh4dow @deathkat657 @kalpie @elernity @sentieence @chichibleeps @sunsethw4 @hjjks @tanspostsblog @nqctre @just-simping-over-genshin @uchihaeirin @vynbin @ayanokomu @dksfl920 @alatus2716 @itztaki

[zapreportsblog]

𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑜 𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉𝓎 𝓃𝒶𝒾𝓁 𝓍 𝒷𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝒶𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

❝ride or die❞

✭ pairing : Rusty Nail x reader

✭ fandom : joyride

✭ summary : (m/n) always follow along to what rusty says, no matter how bad it may be

✭ authors note : I’ve never done a rusty nail fic before and I haven’t watched the movie in a hot minute :) I also had no clue if you wanted a smut story or not normally when I think of bottoms I think of submissive people like myself ooh and it’s sort of a cliffhanger so you all can choose your fate

✭ slasher masterlist

The flickering neon lights of the roadside motel cast an eerie glow on the empty parking lot. Inside one of the rooms, Rusty Nail, the infamous highway killer, sat on the edge of the bed. His piercing blue eyes scanned the room, anticipation simmering beneath his rugged exterior.

Beside him, (m/n) fidgeted nervously, his submissive demeanor evident in every movement. He was a young man, with soft features and an innocence that seemed to draw Rusty Nail in like a magnet. (m/n) had always been drawn to strong, dominant partners, and in Rusty Nail, he found someone who commanded his attention in ways he had never experienced before.

Rusty Nail, older and more experienced, was a man of few words. He exuded a commanding presence that (m/n) found irresistible. From the moment they met, Rusty Nail had taken charge, and (m/n) had willingly surrendered to his every whim. He was always happy to help his older boyfriend, eager to please him in any way he could.

Tonight, Rusty Nail had a plan. He had received a mysterious message, a thrill-inducing invitation that promised excitement and danger. It was an opportunity he couldn't resist, and he knew that (m/n) would be right by his side, ready to assist him in whatever twisted endeavors awaited them.

As Rusty Nail rose from the bed, his tall frame cast a shadow over (m/n). With an affectionate smile, he reached out and gently brushed his fingers across (m/n)'s cheek, causing a shiver to run down his spine. "We're about to have some fun, my love," Rusty Nail whispered, his voice filled with a mix of excitement and authority.

(m/n) nodded, his eyes shining with adoration. "I'm ready, Rusty. I'll do anything you need me to do."

Rusty Nail's lips curved into a satisfied smirk. He knew he had found the perfect partner, someone who would willingly follow him into the depths of darkness. He took (m/n)'s hand, intertwining their fingers, and led him towards the door. As they stepped out into the night, the sound of a revving engine filled the air.

A dark truck awaited them in the parking lot, its engine growling with untamed power. Rusty Nail opened the passenger door and motioned for (m/n) to climb in. (m/n) obeyed without hesitation, excitement coursing through his veins.

As Rusty Nail climbed up and slid into the driver's seat, he turned to (m/n) and fixed him with an intense gaze. "Remember, (m/n), I'm in control. You just follow along like the good little boy you are.”

(m/n) nodded, his heart pounding with a mixture of fear and desire. He had never felt more alive than in this moment, with Rusty Nail by his side, ready to lead him on a twisted and thrilling adventure.

With a roar of the engine, the truck sped off into the night, leaving the motel and its secrets behind.

The night air whipped through the open windows of Rusty Nail's speeding truck as he chased down the drivers who had dared to prank call him on the truck microphone. The malicious laughter that had echoed through the speakers had set a rage off within him, and now he was on a mission to teach them a lesson they would never forget.

Beside him, (m/n) held on tight, his heart pounding with a mix of fear and excitement. This was far beyond anything he had ever experienced before, but the thrill of the chase surged through his veins. He trusted Rusty implicitly, knowing that he would protect him and lead him to victory.

The headlights of the pranksters' car flickered in the distance, their taunting presence growing closer with each passing moment. Rusty Nail's grip tightened on the steering wheel, his eyes narrowing with determination. He had a plan, and he was ready to execute it flawlessly.

As they closed in on the pranksters, the adrenaline pumping through their veins reached its peak. Rusty Nail's voice cut through the rush of wind, his command firm and unwavering. "Hold on tight, (m/n). We're about to make them pay for their foolishness."

(m/n) nodded, his heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. He trusted Rusty Nail completely, knowing that he would protect him no matter what. As the gap between the two cars narrowed, a mischievous smile played on (m/n)'s lips. He was ready to help Rusty Nail in any way he could.

With a swift maneuver, Rusty Nail expertly closed the distance between their truck and the pranksters' vehicle. The sound of screeching tires filled the air as he skillfully kept up with them, never losing sight of his target. The chase had turned into a dangerous game of cat and mouse, and Rusty Nail was determined to emerge as the victor.

(m/n) leaned in closer to Rusty Nail, his voice filled with excitement. "I have an idea, Rusty.”

Rusty Nail glanced at (m/n) and a wicked grin spread across his face. "What did you have in mind baby boy?”

[bethanythebogwitch]

Doctor Who - the Empire of Death

This was honestly one the better season finales written by Davies, but that is a very low bar. None of the new series show runners have been anywhere near as good at writing long-running storylines as they think they are. Sutekh was kind of wasted as a villain. He got less to go on than in the original story, where he was obsessed with ending all life out of paranoia that eventually something might evolve that could surpass him. Here he's just a generic bad guy who wants to kill everything for no real given reason. His defeat was also pretty silly. You're telling me that the god who scared the piss out of the Toymaker couldn't get out of a rope? Yeah it's a science rope, but its still a rope. The Toymaker and the Maestro could casually alter reality but the guy who scares both of them is beaten by a hook. Also, Sutekh survives being dumped into the time vortex the first time and the big solution to him returning even more power is to dump him in the vortex again. Brilliant plan. The Toymaker and Maestro were beaten in a way consistent with their godly domain (losing a game and finding a specific sequence of music). It would have been a lot cooler if Sutekh's defeat followed that trend. Use some kind of symbolic defeat of death to undo his actions.

Calling back to 73 Yards without even attempting to explain what in the sam hell was going on in that episode is kind of annoying. You could have tied the blatant magic of that plot into the pantheon, but nope.

The reveal of Ruby's mom's identity was silly. I guess I can buy Suteks thinking she was pointing at him and his paranoia of thinking she somehow saw him resulting in him accidentally imbuing her with powers by believing she had powers. That's not really what the show went with, but I can pretend.

Ruby referring to her bio mom as her real mom was a big oof moment. A real slap in the face to her adoptive mom.

Davies is so obsessed with giving bizarre hints to future stories he's now doing it as a season-ending cliffhanger. "Ooh, who is the mysterious neighbor? You'll just have to keep watching to find out!". Moffat did that too during 11's run and he ended up having too much hanging plot threads with the Silence, church, Kovarian, Trenzalore, etc that he had to slam it together in one absolute mess of a finale. Please don't do that again. That being said, it really speaks to how awful of a head writer Chibnal was that Davies can still write circles around him.

Consistently through the new series the season-long story arcs have been my least favorite part of each season. I much prefer the standalone episodes. The classic show almost never did running plotlines. The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are the key to time and trial of a time lord arcs, the latter of which was so bad it almost killed the show. I would love a season of nothing but standalone episodes with maybe a two-parter or two.

If you want a (in my opinion) better take on the Doctor fighting gods, the Big Finish audio drama elder gods storyline is a better one, consisting of the dramas House of Blue Fire, Protect and Survive, Black and White, Gods and Monsters, Afterlife, and Signs and Wonders. There's some backstory involved, but I didn't listen to most of that and still followed the story just fine. A Big Finish story featuring Sutekh that I liked better than this episode is the two parter of Kill the Doctor!, and The Age of Sutekh, found on the Fourth Doctor Adventures season 7 volume 2 collection. And if you haven't seen Sutekh's debut in the Pyramids of Mars, drop everything and go watch it now.

This season only getting 8 episodes was criminal. Next season better be at least 12. Fucking Disney+. 15 is a fantastic Doctor and Ruby ended up growing on me a lot even after the Christmas episode put a bad taste in my mouth. I do think the show has pulled itself out of the hole the late Moffat and Chibnal eras dug for it. Not saying there's weren't good episodes in those eras, but I do think this season helped bring new Who back to its late-RTD/early Moffat high point.

[screampied]

heyyy Vegas daddy how r uuuuu?? do u read romance books and if so do u have any recs ☝️

hey aashi luv 😽. im good !!!! hope ur good 💓. i usually read more mystery / psychological horror stuff but i read romance stuff every once n a while too !!!! sureeeeeeeee

a walk to remember. i feeeeel like this is a classic, if you haven’t read it you should. i watched the movie long ago first before i knew it had a book first and PHEW i wasn’t prepared 😃😃😃. what i really liked about this book once i read it, was like it didn’t feel forced. it didn’t feel like your typical cliche wattpad romance. everything felt natural !!! and it’s kinda rare but i liked both the movie and the book. warning tho, the book is waaaay sadder, especially the ending.

the fine print. this book kinda grew on me bc i honestly didn’t like it at first. i dunno, i think it was the pacing near the beginning but near the middle it def grew on me !!!! if you’re into a grumpy x sunshine trope this is the book for u <3 the thing that made me keep reading was the drama, i was at the edge of my seat at each scene heh. it’s also cool how the author depicts both pov’s which was a nice change of pace bc ur usually used to seeing just one narrator. the ending tho, lovely 🙂‍↕️

from blood and ash. oh my goooood i could ramble about this entire series all day. it’s a mixture of fantasy and romance !!! it’s a specific order to read them. and i believe it’s a prequel series, haven’t read that yet. the pacing is a bit slow during the beginning tho. each character has their own personality and the relationships are *chefs kiss* !!! the thing i like ab this series is after each ending, ITS PLOTTWISTS, CLIFFHANGERS EVERYWHEREEE. some ppl dont like this book bc of the typos / scene mistakes but i overlooked it. i binge read this entire series during quarantine but ill prob reread again ><

the ballad of never after. thisssss book. i have a love hate relationship with this entire trilogy, mainly bc of the questionable ending 🧍‍♂️. i …. cried LOL. more of a frustrated cry, i dunno. the otp is so sweet tho </3 i think this book is what made me invested in the whole enemies to lovers trope. i personally wasn’t that fond of the FL for a few chapters but she grew on me. THE BETRAYAAAAAL, it’s so much emotions i couldn’t do it. i remember pausing between chapters to think to myself like me personally well ????? the concept intrigued me right away tho, and every scene of jacks n evangeline was so :((( also, it’s a slow burn.

also honorable mentions erm—the notebook, the happy ever after playlist, part of your world (literally read anything by abby jimenez), before i let go, and the words by ashley jade. ooh that book ruined me. these books i mentioned rn are tear jerkers be warned 🤗🤗🤗

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: The Lemonade Leak

Chapter 13: The Caretaker

Chapter 13 Summary: No summary

The Caretaker: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is only available to those who have an Ao3 profile. This fanfic is written by @turtleinsoup, so go show them some love and support!!

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Plot is five out of five!! The plot for this chapter is really good, filled plenty of tense moments, and sharp realizations! Plus lots of stress and suspense!!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Suspense/Mystery is five out of five!! The suspense was brutal in this chapter!! Not to mention that it's left on a cliffhanger!!"

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Angst/Hurt is five out of five!! Oh gosh, things are just going wrong, no matter what Leo does now. Things are just all messed up, like really messed up."

Fluff/Comfort: 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Fluff/Comfort is zero out of five! Complete zero, there's no comfort to be found in this chapter at all. Like, none."

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Emotions Conveyed is four out of five!! Ooh this chapter really gave off a very strong sense of suspense and dread!! It stressed me out to read it, though in a good way ^^"

Drama/Tension Level: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Drama/Tension Level is five out of five!! The tension in this chapter was very prominent, plus the underlying drama of what's going on, yeesh!! Just yeesh this chapter had a heck of a lot of tension and drama!"

Triggers: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Triggers for this chapter are four out of five. We've got the usual triggers for The Lemonade Leak, now with the added trigger of plans for non consensual drugging!"

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Reading) is five out of five!! I particularly loved how the sentences skipped back and forth, and cut off halfway through, just like a real person stammering out what they're trying to explain."

Legibility (Audio): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Audio) is five out of five! Brilliant to listen to, and once again, the audio book version is especially helpful for pacing."

Length: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Length is two out of five!! Chapter 13 of The Lemonade Leak takes about 17-18 minutes to listen to!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter ->

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The Lemonade Leak: Story Ratings and Chapter List

Personal thoughts on chapter below cut (Contains Spoilers)

Raph let go like he had burned himself, retreating a full step, wide-eyed. Raph was human like that. “Oh crap, I’m so sorry, did I -”

I find this little comment to be interesting. “Raph was human like that.” When Leo gripped onto Mikey’s wrist in a panic, he didn’t let go even though Mikey was hurt. I’m sure he feels bad about that, and notices the difference between what he and Raph did. Also, perhaps Leo is feeling less human lately, and more predatory. 

Leo said nothing. There was a hole in his wall, still. He really should fix it, before it got bigger.

I love it when out of context sentences, are so deeply metaphorical. The hole in the wall could mean nothing, but it also means everything. Leo provoked Raph into making that hole, but then never made the effort to fix it back up. The hole isn’t just physical, but mental as well. 

I know it’s selfish. I know I’m making it about me again, but I would rather drown in lemonade than force you – any of you - to fight Donnie’s parasite. I gave up against yours. I couldn’t allow you to do the same.

I love how lemonade is repetitively brought up throughout the story. 

“Welp, this conversation just took an unexpected turn,” Leo grinned, dumbly. “But so can I!” He pointed at the door behind him. “I mean, Donnie’s got the love life of a hermit, but it’s no fun to roast without seeing his face go nuclear. So… discúlpame?”

discúlpame means excuse me in Spanish, and I do feel like the excuse me is warranted lol. This part of the chapter genuinely made me laugh out loud!!

Leo realized for a moment that his big brother was a kid too. And it was a good thing Raph was only bleeding on the inside because otherwise, Leo’s cold room would be a red, red place.

Ohhh poor Raph T^T the poor boy…

The thing’s voice was soft, when it said. “I need you to mix them into his drink.”

I find it interesting that Donnie classified this as a ‘need’ rather than a ‘want’. He doesn’t want Mikey to do it, he NEEDS him to do it. This is also a psychological trick. When you want someone to feel like they don’t have an option, you classify it as a need rather than a want. Donnie is backing Mikey into a corner whether he knows it or not. He probably doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. 

“It’s designed to dissolve into microscale particles. It’s not sapid. He won’t find out.”

Sapid means to have a strong flavor. You learn something new every day!

“Okay, I get it. I get that,” Mikey cut in. “But like, it’s… okay? It won’t hurt him? Leo’s such an self-destructive egoist, Dee. If he was the last piece of cake, he’d eat himself in secret. So if this was hurting him, you think we’d ever know?”

I think this is the most creative way I’ve ever seen someone say the phrase “eating yourself alive”. 

“Oh, did he?” The thing said softly. “Did he really. All of us?” It breathed out. When it continued, its voice was low and fast. “I’m simply of the opinion, dear Angelo, that Nardo should be banned from getting to make life-or-death related decisions when it comes to himself.”  

I love how much is hidden in Donnie’s question. How it seems like a light question on top, but the deeper you dig, the more you find. That Leo wasn’t the only one who died, and came back to life 

[queer-cosette]

AO3 tag game

Thank you for the tag @apopcornkernel my love kissing u /p

how many works do you have on ao3?

45 right now!

what's your total ao3 word count?

According to my stats page, 781,604! Holy smokes, Batman!

what fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mainly Heathers, but I've also written for Les Misérables, Derry Girls, Monster High, Miraculous Ladybug, Total Drama, Equestria Girls, and Rainbow High, and have posted some original work on AO3 too (mostly poetry).

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

mArinette (a Miraculous Ladybug easy A AU)

today I woke up wanting to kiss you (plotless Duncney fluff)

Cute Boys With Short Haircuts (Miraculous Ladybug angsty one-sided identity reveal)

Mistlejoke (Miraculous Ladybug christmas fluff)

Waitin' on the Sunrise (shameless fluffy JDonica porn with plot)

do you respond to comments?

I try to lol. Usually I'll respond in batches because executive dysfunction is The Worst

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, does original poetry count? Because if so, Kathryn, a midlength poem I wrote about Kathryn Howard the fifth wife of Henry VIII who was beheaded between the ages of 17 and 22. Or maybe these are times that can’t be weathered (and we have never been back there since then), a story about a Miraculous OC discovering Hawkmoth’s identity.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Personally, I think it’s The Dark Gate, part four of my Les Mis Winx Club AU. The happy ending is really earned and needed.

do you get hate on fics?

Not really since I stopped regularly writing for Miraculous Ladybug. Boy, that was a wild experience. The fandom was really big at the time and it was the post-Season 3 salt era, so Opinions were both abundant and poor in quality.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes indeed! I was born on the run (but I’ll die holding your hand) and Waitin’ on the Sunrise are both JDonica smut fics that I am very very proud of! They’re… very fluffy. You know that rule about how you see in fandom the stuff that was missing from the source material? Look, I just want my awful blorbos to be happy. And also to bang a lot.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Does On Se Sent Comme Par Magie count? It’s really more fusion fic, it’s the characters of Les Mis living out the plot of Winx Club. Look, it just… it made sense in my head, y’know?

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know, and I hope it never happens!

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did write an English translation of a fic I wrote in my native Scots! Never posted it, though.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have tried and miserably failed. I just can’t do it, babes.

what's your all time favourite ship?

Probably JDonica. I just… he’d kill for her?? And he does?? Does it get more chewable than that??

what's a WIP you want to finish but sometimes doubt you ever will?

Oh god I haven’t actually written anything for two months. I need to get back to Waitin’ on the Sunrise, The Last Faery on Earth (Part 5 of OSSCPM), and The Mystery Solvers of Derry (Derry Girls SDMI AU).

what are your writing strengths?

According to my beta reader for OSSCPM, readability, characterisation, and cliffhangers.

what are your writing weaknesses?

I’m really bad for run-on sentences - it’s not my fault, okay, I started reading Les Mis when I was sixteen and impressionable, and Victor Hugo did a number on my psyche that I doubt will ever be reversed because unfortunately Vicky Huge-ho lives rent-free in my skull and whispers in my ear to just use more semicolons like the whore he is.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve written in Scots before, which was fun! I kind of want to do it again, but the Plot Bunnies aren’t cooperating right now.

first fandom you wrote for?

I think. Technically. It was a documentary about Sperm Whales that had a really sad ending that I saw when I was six and I wrote a little book that gave it a happier ending, if that counts? If not, probably Equestria Girls. Although, thank god, my early fic experiments are all stored on a hard drive that will never see the light of day again.

favorite fic you've written?

I was born on the run (but I’ll die holding your hand)!! Fluffy JDonica smut for the win!!

tagging: @theladyfae @private-bryan @galahadwilder @swxxtcidxr if yous want to xo

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S5 EP4

Y'all I miss David Tennant. Like Matt Smith is already great but I'm allowed to miss my current hyperfixation actor okay. Okay. But anyWHO I get to watch so much more Doctor Who even without him yay!

Pretty ambient sounds

Hello dude in the middle of a field with a kiss mark on his face

Oh hello who's here

Is this lady pretty I hope she is she gives pretty vibes

I love museums too Doctor

He's having a lot of fun saying it's all wrong lol

Ooh Home Box

Ooh old high gallifreyan on the Home Box cool mysterious

HELLO SWEETIE

OMG ITS RIVER HELLO RIVER I KNEW THE LADY WAS PRETTY

She's amazing

But also she would be dead Tardis or not that is basically instant death right there

InstaDeath, available now lol

Teaches him about his own ship

Blue Boringers!!

Yknow the "kheee hooo kheee hooo" noise

Aww Amy is hilarious and adorable

Hahahahaha

I love Amy

WEEPING ANGELS HELLO

Know I don't like to say they're asking for it but hey are asking for it

I love Amy lol

It's a DnD campaign that's why

Yknow I should put those pictures on my desktop I've heard people done that

Smells a book

Yeah I should totally make those my desktop wallpaper

I still maintain they would be less creepy if they had pupils

This is so fun

Aw smart Amy!! That was brilliant!

Okay what's in her eye y'all what's gonna happen

That's a lot of statues ugh

Oh is she in prison right now? That's not nice

It keeps being brought up what is in her eye!

IM SORRY THAT WAS GREY WEIRD SAND STUFF

She is good lol

Okay I'm guessing since we're following these soldiers so much they are gonna end up dying

Oof jump scare

Oof another jump scare

Do it scared and all that

Okay so those soldiers are dead then good to know my inferencing skills are strong as ever

Oh shit why don't the statues have two heads

This is scary

Oh shit can they like turn people into weeping angels too or something cuz why do they not have robes and stuff

Okay how is the dead person talking and telling Bob to see something that's creepy

Okay we know Bob's name so maybe he will die too he better not

Okay spoke too soon

Okay so they don't look like angels because they are dying

He doesn't sound scared how is he talking if he's dead

Oh dear

Dude stop guilt tripping the Doctor

Angel Bob lol

I KNEW THEY COULD TURN PEOPLE INTO ANGELS AMYS TURNING TO STONE I DO HAVE A BRAIN

Placebo affect

HEY SHES NOT STONE MAYBE I DONT HAVE A BRAIN

Jump!

OH MY GOD WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A CLIFFHANGER

[jmtorres]

how about: your leading lady is pregnant, you have to decide if a) her character will also be pregnant b) she will stand behind comically large furniture all season c) the character mysteriously goes on an offscreen side quest until after the baby is born

ooh or! Production Budget says your script is too expensive. You must remove some combination of characters, locations, and effects to reduce the shooting cost. You can have fireworks on this one if the next one has no exterior locations, just pre-existing sets

Rain day: Rewrite your outdoor location as an indoor location due to inclement weather

contractual obligations: yeah it's an ensemble cast but each cast member in the main credits has been promised a specific number of appearances, ranging from "must appear in every episode of the season" to "no fewer than 5". Yeah we haven't given Whitney enough episodes yet. Look just do an epilogue cliffhanger so they get one line at the end of episode 4 before their main arc starts in episode 5.

schedule conflicts: one of your actors has been cast in a film. Can you write them out of specific shooting days without writing them out of the episode?

and for when you're really struggling: canceled early. the studio says you can't shoot any more scenes, can you edit a finale with what you've got in the can?

canceled and then saved: your original studio tore down all your sets before selling your rights to a streaming platform. Justify why none of your characters can go back to the old office/house/school. hard mode: you also lost all your props and costumes.

r u as cool as umbrella academy: one of your actors has just come out as trans. do you make them keep playing the wrong gender or are you cool enough to trans the character? easy mode: i mean i guess you could sidestep the issue by killing them off. but that's super not cool.

An actor dies. You have some B-roll and outtakes but you can't shoot any new material because they're dead! can you write a meaningful sendoff using only bloopers and the other actors? easy mode: supporting actor. hard mode: it's your lead.

You Only Get One Take: an actor has agreed to shave their head on camera in character. what's your backup cutaway if something happens to the footage?

Makeup allergies: the actor you cast as a space alien can't wear the prosthetics you've shot half the season with. there's no other way to replicate the look. They're gonna have to transform. Plot explanation?

backdoor pilot: you have an opportunity to get a second show going with some side characters. write a two-part episode to launch them on their own adventure that's not out of place in the main storyline.

merch: marketing department wants something they can make toys or action figures out of. are your character designs distinctive enough? what prop does each character get to hold in action figure form? could you consider adding some sort of team mascot they can make a plushie out of? also, marketing would like a dramatic change to generate new designs for the same characters in the season finale, so they can sell new action figures in different outfits

strike: due to protracted labor conflicts your shooting time is now ten episodes instead of twenty-two, with six already in the can. Can you compress the rest of the season arc down to four episodes? if not, can you find a place to break the arc to cliffhang, and have enough material left in the arc for a full order next season?

gimmick episode: for a ratings boost, write an episode around a celebrity guest, or parody another more popular show, or write a body-swap slapstick (which of your actors can successfully mimic each other?), or pen a musical (roll for which 3/5 of your main cast can actually sing)

shit, you ran out of money. You can shoot about 10 minutes of frame story for a flashback episode using footage from past episodes.

one of your actors wants to direct. Write an episode without their character for them to cut their teeth on. but like, nothing too challenging, they may not be up to directing anything emotionally meaty too soon.

a significant spoiler has been leaked. Do you want to write it out and go in a different direction, or write a fakeout so audiences think they've already seen the spoiler early on and are still surprised when it happens differently later?

write three versions of the last scene of the season finale that can all be shot at the same location, so not even the actors know for sure how it's going to end.

your lead got a tattoo between seasons. how do you incorporate it into their character?

one of your actors worked out all off-season, expecting to be shooting some fanservice. you hadn't written any. Find an excuse for them to take their top off in scene because that actor really wants to show off their bod.

Fans have been demanding the return of a character you killed off last season, and you finally negotiated the actor back on board. How are you bringing them back?

You can't get a guest actor back for ADR, and their mic was on the fritz during the shoot. Sound dept can only salvage about half their lines. Can you rewrite the episode, giving plot relevant dialogue to other characters?

One of your actors opened their big mouth to the media and it turns out they're a bigot. Contractually you can't fire them until the season's over, but fans have turned on them. Minimize the character in the remaining eight episodes of the season without writing them out entirely, which would be breach of contract. Also maybe they're a minor villain now, considering how mad the fans are.

A special effect goes horribly wrong, a stunt person is grievously injured and the production shuts down for a safety audit. Rewrite the climax of the episode without the stunt.

You are pressured to cast a young relative of a studio exec, who can't act their way out of a paper bag. Write a character that fits the actor's personality, in hopes they can at least play themself. Still has to advance your season arc, too.

a major real life election is happening in the middle of your season, and you want to reference it in the show because it would matter to the characters, buy you're writing and shooting weeks if not months before the outcome could be guessed. Write two versions of the scene, one for each candidate, that you can drop in depending on what happens. If you have a ton of foresight, also write a third version of the scene referencing ongoing recounts. No matter what happens, 98% of the episode has to stay the same, so all versions of the scene have to segue back to the main plot.

an episode came in 1:30 long, which is three commercials worth, you can't lose that much ad revenue. the editor has already cut all the dead air. Find a scene or lines you can cut without losing important plot, pacing, or actors contractually required to appear.

...apparently I could come up with scenarios all night.

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

[terezis]

i was halfway through a post about this last night when tumblr ate it for power, so i went to bed, but now i’m back and i'm here to say:

gideon the ninth: the netflix series

like, it’d work??? it’s got a similar vibe to warrior nun, which was pretty popular. i have thought about how i would divide it up extensively. and now i am going to talk about it. a lot. 

three arcs, with four episodes each, for a total of twelve episodes covering the first book. arc one, enemies. arc two, friends. arc three, lovers, which doesn’t even really fit but i'm too charmed by the idea of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers as story arcs to take it back now.

EPISODE ONE opens with gideon packing up her things, tying her shoes, leaving her security cuff and its key nicely on her cell's pillow, and absconding; all of this overlaid with some sick music. guitar riffs. something upbeat and a little cool, and tonally dissonant from the setting of the dreary ninth house.

from there we go through the first few chapters of the book, the confrontation with crux, aiglamene, and harrow, mass, the letter from the emperor, all the way up to gideon realizing that her ship has taken off with out her. episode ends with

gideon: why? harrow: because i completely fucking hate you, no offense.

episode two: opens with gideon lying face-down on her cot in her cell, she's depressed, but like in a funny way. the viewer is amused. harrow shows up to kick her out of bed.

then we go through everything - gideon “agreeing” to be harrow’s cav, training, final mass - up until she and harrow leave for caanan house. they get on their ship. we see earth from orbit, ooh, aah, it's a big moment. ends with them about to breach the atmosphere:

harrow: i want to watch you die. gideon: maybe, nonagesimus, maybe. but you sure as hell won't do it here.

episode three: landing at caanan house. meeting dulcinea. all the onboarding stuff with teacher and the early days where gideon is left to her own devices. dueling magnus. 

the climax of this episode is dueling babs, ending on gideon looking away from the aftermath of the fight and locking eyes with harrow, who has been watching from the shadows the whole time. it's a very intense moment. harrow turns and walks away.

episode four: exploring caanan house. dulcinea. mysterious, airy, almost nostalgic music plays when she calls out for gideon on the terrace.

searching for harrow. the meat of this episode is all about meeting the sixth house, going down into the basement with them, and finding harrow, asleep in her bone, like an asshole. end the episode with gideon and harrow's argument about gideon's duties as a cavalier; they agree to work with each other - completing their first character arc. end episode four.

ARC TWO: FRIENDS (DUBIOUSLY). EPISODE FIVE. the first laboratory, which is the regenerating skeleton. dinner with the fifth. gideon and harrow leaving early for the labs, completing the trial at the end of the episode. as they're leaving, they stumble across the bodies of the fifth house... dead. drama! cliffhanger

episode six: opens like chapter seventeen, with the assumption that everyone's been investigating the crime scene for several hours. they get called back up by teacher, who thinks there are monsters down there. netflix intro plays. 

gideon and harrow investigate the first study; gideon finds the notes with "her" name. harrow reluctantly agrees to help dulcinea with the siphoning trial, which is the real meat of the episode. dulcinea says a bunch of cryptic shit with gideon in her arms. harrow completes the trial. episode ends with gideon passing out. ooh! aah. another cliffhanger

episode seven begins w gideon being woken by camilla, all that stuff about keys with sixth, talking to them in the morgue, only to realize that the fourth are eavesdropping. ("i often find myself wondering how dangerous they really are.") next scene: gideon training, isaac comes to get her because jeannemary found human remains in the incinerator; that scene, which gideon leaves only to find dulcinea collapsed in the rain. reveal that protesilaus is missing. ("he never came back!")

episode eight: briefly talking to dulcinea, but mostly the duels for the keys. afterwards gideon goes to the basement with the forth house to investigate. isaac dies. gideon takes jeanne to the study where she thinks it'll be safe. end with gideon jolting awake and finding jeanne dead. "SWEET DREAMS" written in her blood. END ARC TWO.

episode nine: open in the morgue, where the teens are laid out to rest. gideon is hysterical, talks to dulcinea, flees the room, talks to the eighth. harrow negotiates with the sixth for information; the gummed up door. gideon and harrow fight. end with gideon asking to be released to the seventh house.

harrow: when i release you from my service, nav, you'll know.

acting like a... jealous lover??? lmao anyways things look dire!

episode ten: gideon's conversation with the eighth house. finding protesilaus's head with harrow's things. bringing that information to the sixth house, confronting dulcinea. the pool scene. (why is episode ten always the big Emotional Reveal of a show... i am thinking about madoka magica hard right now) anyways this is why it’s the lovers arc. ends with one flesh, one end, gideon gets shoved back into the pool. she emerges sputtering and laughs.

episode eleven: the sixth and the ninth investigate a study together, and the fire alarm goes off. i think someone would say something cryptic here and then the intro would play LOL. like it's not even five minutes of the episode. 

the bulk of this one is the confrontation with ianthe, who has become a lyctor. the eighth dies. like 2/3 of the way through the episode gideon runs after sextus, which is when she overhears his conversation with dulcinea. end sextus exploding, cytherea emerging.

"i have come to kill the emperor and burn his houses. and gideon the ninth... this begins with you."

episode twelve: you know what happens from here. bbeg fight, climaxing with things looking grim, hiding in the bone shield, gideon throwing herself onto the iron spike. harrow ascends. they defeat cytherea. harrow pulls at gideon's body and sits with it. maybe she holds her hand? sad music plays.

the camera pans up from that, from them, up, and up, and up, to a very blue sky. eventually the sky darkens. we see stars. we see space. i think maybe something bright streaks across the sky, to imply that boe has arrived. but eventually we see a ship. harrow wakes up on the erebos, meets the emperor, and pledges herself to him.

"rise... harrowhark the first."

END SEASON ONE

anyways i also think another plus is that one of the big “twists” of this book is that the main character fucking dies. and you KNOW tv entertainment is all about that shit. like, doing what the viewer doesn’t expect? look at game of thrones. except it actually works here for obvious reasons. netflix would eat that shit up.

[facelessfrey]

“ and the fact that they just wasted all of the potential of Project Shepherd and Jesse Manes” I’ll never be over that. Such a waste. How do you introduce a prison full of aliens and blow it up in the same episode?!

Ooh a Roswell ask! I so rarely get these. Haha.

But oh where to start? Haha.

Your question is a very valid one, how do you introduce a prison full of aliens and blow it up in the same episode? That was like a full season's worth of drama that they shoved into a single episode. It was wild and not in a good way. Haha.

And the complete waste of Jesse as a villain makes me so sad.

Like imagine season one is largely focused on the Rosa murder mystery and discovering Noah is the fourth alien but instead of fully introducing Project Shepherd and having Alex basically dismantle it in two seconds, what if the Jesse Manes threat was just simmering in the background the whole first season. Alex and Kyle in the midst of trying to figure out Rosa mystery stuff of course discover that she's Kyle's sister and then the alien glass and this leads them to wonder what Jim's alien connections were. They could also discover that Rosa's autopsy was fake but instead of Jesse just handing Kyle the real one, they have to find it themselves. Both of these things lead them to Project Shepherd. Meanwhile, Jesse had been keeping things quiet lately because the military wanted to shut down the organization but Max saving Liz and everyone looking into Rosa piques his interest in the existence of aliens still being in Roswell, something he had been urged to give up on and so he starts digging. So he's on their trail and it forces them to have to do things more secretly for fear of exposure. And perhaps at the end of season one we do get the Caulfield reveal because it's not just current aliens Jesse is interested, but he has a whole prison full of them. But either our characters don't know yet or they haven't been in there yet and don't know the full extent. Perhaps they know Caulfield exists and that aliens are involved but only the viewers get to see what Caulfield is as a final cliffhanger for the season just before Rosa is brought back to life thereby creating more for Jesse to grasp onto.

So then season two is truly the Jesse Manes big bad season because well...it sort of was but also not cause all he did was fake a stroke and clean his guns in the background and vaguely mention Deep Sky for no apparent reason.

But instead we could have had our 1947 flashback content plus everyone trying to figure out the full Caulfield mystery and so finally when they do get inside, we know Michael's mother is in there and we're eagerly anticipating this reunion so it has even more impact than it already did. Maybe they get in halfway through the season and Michael gets to have a moment with his mother but they actually try and plan to break them all out and save them, which is the second part of the season. Meanwhile, Jesse is actively trying to thwart them. Maybe he captures one of them and they are actively being experimented upon a la The White Room episode in the original show and then the in the big confrontation at the end, they manage to save who was captured but Jesse hits the self destruct button on the prison himself because he has these new fresh aliens in his sights and he can just start again. But they manage to take him out before he can. Maybe it's still Gregory or maybe it's Flint, who gets to stick around in my version and this is his redemption arc because he realizes his father was wrong. So Jesse gets to do one more terrible thing before he dies and his death is way more climactic because he's actively been the villain for a whole season on screen.

And through the Caulfield plot, Maria can still discover her alien side, maybe Nora also leads them to the Lockhart machine nonsense from this season and also to Jones and that could still be the cliffhanger of season 2 but the rest of it wouldn't have sucked so much and there would have been better build up to Jones.

Sigh...so much wasted potential.

[chat-noir-always-here]

“Hey Arnold!” and “Miraculous!” parallels

Ever have an idea for a post that you take forever to get around to because 2020 is 

actively 

trying

to kill you?!

 Welp, that’s me. I mean, uh, this is that post.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts cuz I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of text like these.

So there’s this show from my childhood called Hey Arnold! 

Having been on air before I had cable (I and my unsupervised brothers and sisters spent our childhood watching Jerry Springer and Maury because there was literally nothing else on our cheap little TV. How hilarious is that?) I didn’t really have much of an experience with Hey Arnold! aside from brief little glances at it when i visited a friends home or the rare occasion where they showed cartoons at school. By the time I got satellite, the show was no longer on the air save for some late night reruns and the Christmas special which aired in December along with other Nickelodeon Christmas episodes (THE best Christmas episode EVER btw).

Really I couldn’t remember much about it until hearing about the Jungle Movie finally getting a release date (a total flop but at least its no cliff hanger) and decided to re-watch the entire series in preparation for said movie.

By which point I had discovered another show—Miraculous. 

At first glance the two shows have absolutely nothing in common. Miraculous being a French-born mahou shoujo-esque CGI superhero TV series about a couple of middle schoolers who regularly battle a walking peppermint-frappucino-looking psychopath. Hey Arnold! being a more realistic children’s sitcom about a young football-headed boy who deals out humanitarian aid in the form of advice and simple good deeds to his neighbors, classmates and friends. 

In terms of setting, logic, and animation the two series are as different as night and day.

So imagine my pleasant surprise to discover a whole post’s worth of parallels shared between the two shows???

And here they are in no particular order:

1)Arnold’s Parents/Adrien’s mom

Prior to the start of Miraculous, Emilie Agreste disappeared under mysterious circumstances leaving her family behind. Later on it was revealed that she was in fact sleeping (dead?) in a glass coffin beneath the Agreste mansion--unbeknownst to Adrien, or anyone else in Paris save for Gabriel and Nathalie.

In a similar fashion, Arnold’s parents, Miles and Stella, also disappeared prior to the start of Hey Arnold! and like Emilie were always referred to as “missing” rather than “dead.” 

The Jungle Movie later revealed Miles and Stella weren’t dead, but like Emilie appears to be doing in her coffin, they were sleeping. Having caught a bout of sleeping sickness (apparently they do not need to be hooked up to IVs or other medical devices while in a comatose state cuz fuck logic) they simply needed their orphaned son to come and cure them with the help of the magical golden heart Helga provided him with.

Perhaps Mari holds the key to waking Emilie? That would be nice to see. 

Not the miraculous of course--but some other key.

Although personally I’m hoping for a hardcore, devastating ending like Emilie dying, Gabriel going to prison where he belongs, and Adrien leaving the country for a bit until the second Hawk Moth shows up because I just like devastating cliffhangers and angst and being in utter turmoil over fictional people. But that’s just me.

2) Their best friends are dating

Smol parallel here: Arnold’s best friend Gerald and Helga’s Best friend Phoebe wind up together in The Jungle Movie after being imprisoned together by Lasombra. Similar to how Nino and Alya ended up together after being imprisoned by Ladybug (for their protection, of course).

3) The Bag of Money Episode/ The Ladybug episode

OOh boy both of these episodes make me rage. 

Some context about the Bag of Money episode: Arnold and his friends Gerald and Sid find a random bag of money containing almost $4000. Sid is ecstatic and wants to split the money evenly between the three boys, but Arnold worries it could just be lost and convinces them to let him, Arnold, take the money to the police station. On the way he accidentally switches the bag with another one that is identical and contains a bunch of useless junk, and when he tries to explain what happened to his friends they don’t believe him because their bag of money was accidentally taken by an “old lady with pink hair and a peg leg.”

 Arnold’s a good boy and he’s telling the truth--but the truth sounds crazy, even to my ears. Sid accuses Arnold of stealing the money and spreads lies to their classmates, whom Arnold has spent the ENTIRE SERIES helping in some form or fashion. Despite everything he’s done for them though, the vast majority of the class come to believe Arnold is a thief. Even Gerald, Arnold’s closest friend, nearly believes Sid over Arnold but eventually comes to Arnold’s defense. The other kids (save for Helga who doesn’t really make an appearance this episode) gang up on Arnold, but thankfully the old lady with pink hair and a peg leg shows up with an officer and together they explain the bag of money is now at the lost and found where it will remain and if gone unclaimed will be returned to Arnold, Gerald and Sid. 

Pretty much everything is resolved and things return to normal between the kids. 

But I hate this episode. I hate this episode so, so much. Arnold has spent the entire series helping these people out in some form or fashion. Literally thats the entire show. And after everything he’s done for them they’re so. Quick. To. Turn. On. Him. 

Sound familiar???

4) Hidden Personality                   vs.          Surface Personality

 I do not refer to the cruddy “true selves” thing half the Miraculous fandom believes in. Depending on one’s individual circumstances, environment and how comfortable they are, said person’s behavior can fluctuate or even do a complete 180. This can be kinda frustrating when dealing on one’s own--”Who am I anyway? Is that me or is this me???”

It’s all you, fam.

Arnold and Helga are themselves too, no matter what metaphorical/actual mask they put on. There’s the side that everyone sees and then there’s the side almost no one sees. The hidden personality isn’t hidden due to a lack of trust, necessarily, but rather it is the result of retreating to their respective “shells”--ones which both Arnold and Helga were kinda punched, kicked, and shoved into. 

Helga’s surface personality: Class bully, puts up a tough front, constantly torments Arnold because she can’t stand him and his niceness

Helga’s hidden personality: Poetic, abused and isolated, is in love with Arnold to the point of being obsessed with him and bullies him via surface personality in order to hide that fact

Of course Adrien is no bully--his reasons for not being the “cunning, funny, ultra-charming Chat Noir” 24/7 DOES have a lot to do with his toxic household, his dad, and the overwhelming expectations which are constantly smothering him as Adrien. 

Adrien is a bug under a magnifying glass (or so he feels)

Chat Noir is a chance for a freedom.

 Adrien’s surface personality was molded by his dad.

 Helga’s is the result of her entire family. Her father is brash and loud, her mother is a confirmed alcoholic, her sister is a gifted prodigy, well-rounded and spends most of the series at university or elsewhere. Although her sister, Olga, has been shown to genuinely care for Helga, Olga is kinda the reason their parents neglect Helga. With their first daughter being the genius and prodigy she is, Helga’s parents poured all of their pride and affection and parental devotion onto her. Meanwhile Helga had to walk to pre-school alone. At four years old. In the rain. Not for the last time. 

Which leads me to the next parallel.

5) Umbrella in the Rain

squeals in delight over this parallel<3<3<3

If you’ve never seen Hey Arnold! do yourselves a favor and watch this short little clip over how Helga and Arnold first met. If you have seen it, watch it anyway because it is the most adorable clip in the entire show.

Dr. Bliss: “So nobody’s ever noticed you?”

Helga: “...There was someone.”

The soft way Helga confesses that--you can actually hear how grateful she is to have such a tender memory from such a painful time. 

 In a similar manner, Adrien offered his umbrella to Marinette. Of course Adrien did it because Mari had to walk home in the rain and Arnold did it as a simple gesture of kindness (seeing as they were already at the school)--one of the many kind acts he displays throughout the series. 

 But just like Adrien needed unconditional love coming from somewhere, so did Helga. They were both denied this one common necessity which everyone else around them had. It’s not a lot to ask for, and they should’ve already had it coming from their families--but they didn’t.

 And then, one rainy day, there it was--the unconditional love they needed.

6) Clinginess

What happens when you take someone, specifically a love-starved abused child from an unstable home environment--deprived of the one thing most crucial to their mental well-being--and miraculously provide them with that very necessity? 

Clinginess. 

I can’t really think of the correct word to describe this. “Clinginess” is pretty close to what I’m trying to describe, if not on point, so let’s go with that. 

 What I mean is Helga and Adrien both need Arnold and Ladybug respectively. That’s not a bad thing--it’s okay to need somebody else. What’s bad is hinging your entire being on this one connection. For if either kiddo were to be left behind they wouldn’t handle it very well.

 It can’t really be helped with either Helga or Adrien. They didn’t really have the option to learn certain things and went deprived of unconditional love for such a long time. They’re kids--nine and fourteen/fifteen respectively. They’re not perfect and they’re traumatized for life. Being denied love from your family--the very people designed to love you--would do that to a person. Naturally they would cling to the first people to show up and provide them with the love they needed. 

 The Hey Arnold! wiki says this about Helga and Arnold’s relationship

Due to her unstable family upbringing where both her mother and father constantly neglect [Helga] and shower all of their attention onto Olga, leaving her deprived of the love and attention she needed growing up. On her way to preschool, Arnold helped her by keeping the rain off her with an umbrella and even complimented her on her hairbow. He even later gave her crackers during their snack time. Arnold's kindness and being the first person to notice her quickly caused Helga to transfer all of her love and attention to Arnold.

Of course Adrien’s tunnel vision isn’t quite as bad as Helga’s.

 He treats his friends better.

 He does love his father--

Even though his father is THE. 

WORST.

 PARENT.

 EVER!!!

--because he’s Adrien and he’s just too precious a cinnamon roll and that’s still his dad even if the man does belong behind bars.

7) Unhealthy Obsession

I--

I...

Ugh. I am not going to delve too far into this. You’re just going to have to take my word for it. Helga’s creepy stalker behavior is a thousand times worse than Marinette’s. That pic up there of Helga hiding out in Arnold’s room watching him is pretty decent evidence to back up my argument, but it’s hardly the only example or even the worst incident.

 Honestly I’m amazed at what Nicktoons were able to get away with in the late nineties/early 2000s. 

But yes, Helga’s obsession with Arnold is rather unhealthy in the most extreme moments leading her to display behavior which is more often than not disturbing and concerning. 

The Hey Arnold! wiki has this to say about Helga’s obsession with Arnold

Helga is possessive of her love for Arnold and thinks non-stop about him to the point of obsession. This is evidenced throughout the series by the many shrines and poems she makes of Arnold and of her frequent dramatic soliloquies about her love for Arnold.

Again--Mari isn’t as bad as all that. She’s a sweet girl with many healthy relationships in her life. She has ambition, creativity, and drive. But yeah she can be rather possessive of Adrien too, and that needs to stop. Like right now. Adrien doesn’t need another girl being possessive of him and thinking he’s perfect--he needs someone who acknowledges him as a flawed person and loves him despite that. 

As for Helga and Arnold--show creator Craig Bartlett confirmed they are “made for each other” and wind up married with three kids, so I’m guessing Helga grew out of some of these bad habits? Or at least I hope so...

8) Helper/Humanitarian tendencies

As mentioned before, the plot of Hey Arnold! is more or less about Arnold helping people. As stated by Gerald in The Jungle Movie, “He’s a humanitarian! Like his parents!” Of course not every episode is about Arnold helping people. There are episodes devoted to supporting characters and they’re just as enjoyable and satisfying. 

 But as he is the titular character he spends a lot of time in the spotlight. 

Remember that “best christmas special EVER” episode I mentioned before?

 The reason it’s the best special, in my less than humble opinion, is due to a few things.

 The special is not about Santa Claws. In fact, I don’t think he’s even mentioned, let alone shown and treated like an actual living character.

The focus on the entire episode is again on Arnold helping someone, but he doesn’t succeed. Not really.

The one who succeeded in helping someone was Helga, who accomplished the goal Arnold had set out to do. 

The episode deals with some rather dark subject matter and is actually quite heartwarming as the “perfect present” Arnold was trying to provide someone with wasn’t something you can buy in the store

It’s also one of the episodes where Helga’s love for Arnold leaves her to do good and as her love for him is a secret, she expects nothing in return. She’s just happy to help him.

 Kinda similar to Mari who is, as Adrien puts it in Mayura, “Our every day Ladybug.” Her kindness and devotion to helping others is what drives her as Ladybug and Marinette. It’s what brought Ivan and Mylene together. Is the reason Nathaniel and Mark now have a comic book together. And at the end of the day, that’s the reason for her strange behavior around Adrien--she wants to help him. Even if it’s just as a “good friend.” 

9) There are two main characters

Although Hey Arnold! is technically a show about Arnold, one could argue it is just as much Helga’s story. 

Similarly, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is named thusly in order to convey the fact that Adrien is just as much a main character as Marinette is. 

Although I must say Hey Arnold! did a much better job of giving it’s co-character their dues. GIVE. ME. MORE. CHAT NOIR. FOCUSED. EPISODES. DAMMIT.

But, yes, in terms of screen time, Helga gets about as much as Arnold does. Her story and struggles were given just as much importance as Arnold’s and many people have even come to believe that the show is really about Helga. I’d say its about both of them.

10) Constantly bumping into each other

Granted this happens between Arnold and Helga more often than it does to the love square dorks. 

 But yes the two people meant to be together keep knocking into each other in their respective universes. 

 I forget who, but I remember reading that someone a while back theorized that this was the universe’s way of trying to push Arnold and Helga together. Kinda like the “Now kiss!” meme

Perhaps it’s the same for Adrien and Marinette? 

;)

[vevader3]

But what exactly were Captain Cuttlefish and Agent 3 up to during all of this? For that, we gotta go to Octo Expansion, which takes place at the exact same time as the main story mode. The two of them run into an Octoling trying to flee the underground but have a misunderstanding, fight, and fall into a place deep underground called the Deep Sea Metro. 3 gets separated from Cuttlefish and the Octoling, and the two form a truce on the grounds that the Octoling was humming the Calamari Inkantation, and Cuttlefish believes that a fan of his granddaughters is a friend of his. As they explore, a talking telephone tells them the only way out is to complete its mysterious tests. Our Octoling is contestant test subject 10008, and since they have Nintendo protagonist mutism Cuttlefish nicknames them Agent 8 (see it's an octopus thing bc they're agent 8 and octopuses have 8 tentacles do you get it you get it guys). To pass, all Agent 8 must do is collect 4 thangs (the phone's wording not mine), gather them together and they can enter "the promised land." Cuttlefish tries to radio Callie and Marie, but since they're both a little occupied he gets Pearl and Marina instead. While Agent 8 tries to beat the tests, Pearl and Cuttlefish learn that Marina is an Octoling (if you're wondering why Pearl didn't know her totally-not-gf was an Octoling, you gotta remember that Inklings think Octarians are extinct, so they think the escaped Octolings are just Inklings with weird hair). Pearl is totally fine with it, and Cuttlefish warms up to it, albeit doing a couple microaggressions. After all this is done, Agent 8 collects the 4 thangs and brings them to the phone, and them and Cuttlefish realize it looks suspiciously like a blender only after they step inside. But just as they're about to be blended, Agent 3 arrives in the knick of time and busts them out, disabling the phone. Agent 3 passes out from exertion, so Cuttlefish stays behind while Agent 8 looks for the new way out. Along the way, we learn some interesting information. During the tests, 8 has been fighting these weird blue-green Octarians who don't respond and, according to Marina, show no signs of life. I'm not totally sure how these guys work, but from my understanding, Kamabo Co. (the company behind the tests) uses the goop from the blended test subjects to reconstitute the Octarians and turn them almost into zombies. This process, called sanitization, will possibly be important to Splatoon 3's DLC since an important character in that underwent it. That aside, 8 makes their way up the complex, but before reaching the exit, Cuttlefish's end of the radio goes quiet. They almost make it out, but are jumped by Agent 3 with sanitization goop on their head, meaning they're under the phone's control (but not totally sanitized yet). Agent 8 reluctantly fights them and wins, knocking Agent 3 out a second time and finally reaching the surface. Pearl and Marina pick 8, 3 and Cuttlefish up in Pearl's helicopter she has bc her dad's rich, and all seems happy... (ooh cliffhanger bc somehow Octo Expansion alone is over the character limit)

I bought Splatoon 3 with exactly zero knowledge of anything that happened in the previous games