#only time i don’t is when i pray
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“hey so there’s been a bunch of exposures recently but we’re gonna have the volunteer party this week bc it’s outdoors so we’ll be fine. yeah it’s a bunch of people all talking maskless face to face in relatively close proximity but we’re outside so any transmission would of course be impossible” be so fucking for real
#i love this place i love volunteering there. they have air purifiers around the center and tell people in no other words that if they���re#feeling unwell in the slightest they shouldn’t come in. they’re offering free tests to anyone exposed. they’re doing so much more than so#many other places and a lot of times it’s a place im able to relax a bit#but im just. exhausted. a week from tomorrow will be the three year anniversary of my dad dying from covid so im already in a bad place#plus covid in general is a trigger for me because. yknow. i watched it slowly strangle the life from my father until he was a grey#breathless husk who couldn’t walk three steps or say three words without panting. and that was when we made him go to the hospital#and then the next time he came home it was just his ashes in a bag#but it’s been four years. five if you count the early cases that popped up in 2019. and we’re still dealing with this shit#im just tired of it. im too exhausted to have a full sobbing shaking breakdown so ive gone to the other end of the spectrum and just feel#heavy and hollow. i should probably have a big cry but i don’t have the tears or energy#vent tw#im just hoping my n95 and the air purifiers were enough to keep me from contracting it at all. the worry is the n95 could’ve been loose and#sometimes the metal on the nose loosens slightly but the mask was pretty new overall so im hoping it worked to its full capacity and kept#out any covid molecules so that i didn’t contract any#only time will tell i suppose. in the mean time#im just praying a lot bc that’s the only control i have. i will be saying the shema whenever i get too stressed about it
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I don’t have the energy for 2 more years of this vague commenting on Byler from actors and social media managers and basically any person who has absolutely nothing to do with the creation of the show. It’s all ultimately meaningless, but it does make the fandom experience so draining at times. I don’t get doubt in the sense of doubting the evidence I see for Byler in the show, but being subjected to this consistent rollercoaster of vague statements, hateful asks, and people questioning their own judgement because of harassment does get a bit much sometimes. Like this is supposed to be fun. I honestly would rather not get a crumb of content for two years straight if it would stop the increasingly frequent outbursts of badly disguised homophobia. Everyone here is so smart and creative with their analyses and fics and art, I wish the writers could just ban anyone involved in the show from making comments (good or bad) about Byler & Mlvn so we can enjoy our self-made content and get excited over our soon to be canon ship in peace.
#byler#and I live for the crumbs…but only when they’re in my favour 😭#which is not a guarantee#so I’m praying we don’t hear any more unofficial vagueness for a long time
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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“You did not live in a house of horrors. I was raised to believe in hellfire; now that was bad!” Okay and impending global genocide of any culture that disagrees with your beliefs isn’t? Being raised mentally preparing to withstand torture at the hands of police in a “do it to Julia” situation isn’t? Being socially isolated from your peers on the grounds that they’re evil uneducated dumb worldly heathens controlled by Satan isn’t a bad thing? No. Those are all good things which every child should be taught in order to experience “the real life.”
The legitimate truth is that we are all in “the real life” right now and in “the real life,” the Governing Body is doing the very best they can to cover up the fact that they’re a cult by relaxing the cult’s rules in a futile attempt to prevent the prosecution in the numerous ONGOING child sexual abuse cases from handing their non-tight-pants-wearing asses to them. And the other legitimate truth is discovering this fact to be the legitimate truth while having to navigate a sea of lies and high school is extremely traumatizing, especially when you feel the need to take a hard stance against the cult to prevent others’ children — children like you — from befalling the same fate by dressing up as some miserable wretch who cooked and ate children, hoping the way you look and carry yourself and stare into the parents’ eyes will scare them away. And even more traumatizing is that your tactics worked; proving that you are just as bad and scary as your preexisting OCD made you out to be. Yes I did it to myself; but consider the reason why I felt so compelled to sacrifice the entirety of my mental health to sabotage you with what little tools I had. I wouldn’t have done it had I not had a very good reason, and my very good reason was that I was a child who loved children. You were trying to protect me and it was a sacrifice; but I was also trying to protect children. My endeavor is not — and was never — a selfish one. It is not that I don’t care about you; I only prioritize the class which is most oppressed, and you are not a part of it because you are adults. Your feelings, unfortunately, are expendable in my mission to end religious child labor. I will not support your corrupt religion to make you happy when I know what it’s done to others and to myself; it is wrong, and you are wrong for supporting it. I, as a paraprofessional, refuse to support a religion which hides the sexual abuse of children for its own gain. By law I am now a mandatory reporter; I must report child abuse when I see it under penalty of law. Therefore it stands to reason that I must report your cult from the top of every mountain for the entire inhabited earth to hear so they may not even take so much as one step in your direction. I am sorry if I seem like I hate you; if the fact that I reject your ideals of theological expectational fascism disturbs you so much, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your choices.
“Your actions affect others.” I know my actions affect others; I know how they affect others as well. You’re crushed and demoralized and suffering physically from all the emotional stress; I’ve likely dug you both early graves. I know what I’ve done and I can live with it — Not easily — but I am not defeated because I know I’m in the right, and have always been in the right. No. The real question is: Do you know how your actions are affecting others? In exquisite detail? Have you listened to the victims? Have you allowed yourself to hear both sides of the story with your human ears, not ones made of tin and thought-blocking strategies and “I had it worse than you” excuses? No? Then you’d better start because the key to healing yourself is to aid in the healing of others. We are all connected as one body; and I refuse to be a cancer cell. Sorry I’m aiding in your downfall but it’s got to happen at some point.
#You know if my mom is praying for me to come back then it’s only fair I perform spells for her to get out. Nonconsensual be our watchword#My dad is surprisingly handling it much better than my mom which I did not anticipate at ALL#Because he was the most volatile when I got forcibly outed. Like yelling and throwing books levels of volatile#I think it’s their respective emotional proximity to the cult. My mom is more in than my dad#My dad is not attending meetings as far as I’m aware (and if he is listening on Zoom then he leaves when a certain person speaks)#All my mom does is study and walk (in preparation for the Tribulation) and work a bloodsucking corporate job for ten hours a day#She attends all the meetings on Zoom#And she’s the one constantly saying in a grave tone of voice “You’ve made your choices. I just want what’s best for you and this isn’t it.#It’s hard when you put in 21 years and your baby is gone. I feel like I’ve lost you. I don’t feel like I know you anymore.”#Because you’ve never known me. The environment did not feel safe enough for me to make myself known#and therefore I split in two at approximately age five or six#Whereas my dad is like “Hey I know we have our differences; but I’d like to focus on our similarities because that’s what matters.”#Like uh… Can I get a hell yeah?#He mentions religion a lot but it’s not as stressful as my mom basically hammering into me that my choices are “bad”#exjw#ex cult#It’s hilarious and sad to see them deny it’s a cult or that they’re brainwashed while trying to impose that same emotional control over me#without even realizing they’re guilt-tripping because they’re running on hurt feelings and faltering religious autopilot#Anyway if anyone’s got me I know “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan has got me good god#The first time I listened to that song I almost broke down sobbing in a car of people I just met on the way to a pride dance#But I kept it together
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every time i go to take these goddamn pills i forget how to swallow what is UP with that .
#and it does NOT help that they taste so fucking bad. and dissolve so quick. i’ve almost thrown up like three times this week#also cause i wanted to comment on it but not make a Poast about it — the histal being a mild sedative would be somewhat worrisome if not for#the way the side effects annoyingly amuse me akxkskfnksc like i get loopy but not laughing gas loopy —#like i’m in control of what i’m saying but my inhibitions are much lower and i can tell my words are slightly slurred skdjskjd it’s what i#imagine being high/tipsy is like for you guys? i wouldn’t know so i can only guess#and i do appreciate the way they get me to sleep but i doubt i would ever take them solely for that purpose bc of how bad they are at it#like i do get sleepy but then i don’t even fall asleep for a good while like half an hour and then when i’m ready to get up it’s like woops!#you’re too tired! so i’m up for like 5 minutes and respond to messages or eat a nibble or whatever and then i’m knocked out for another hour#and it’s like that for the whole day and i’m like Okay. Thats Not The Point Here.#and for those reasons: you have been chopped. <- can you see them taking effect?#i said that and i meant to say it. but does it make sense#not much! anyways. off to take these other two pills. pray for me#stop talking abbie
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IF everything goes well and I actually start my new job. I may actually go ahead and start buying the RoV manga with my first few paychecks
#I haven’t bought a manga since Princess Jellyfish#but I really want to support Ikeda. Most of the time I don’t feel too bad about pirating anime and manga#but with RoV it somehow feels bigger than other anime/manga I’ve read recently#it just feels important and impactful and historic#(I know that this is because RoV is much more explicitly political than most anime/manga. tbh I HATE it when people gripe about how#‘anime/manga/movies/comics shouldn’t be political’ not only just because they’re almost always complaining about things that#aren’t actually political [e.g. diversity in race or sexualities]#but also because politics makes art better! Politics are a part of my life and I want to see characters be political! It creates a unique#connection and resonance and brotherhood that simply doesn’t exist outside of the political. Like a core reason why Oscar is so compelling#is because she’s political!)#anyway rant over. pray for my wallet 🙏#RoV read
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I’ve no real interest in playing bg3 plus it would explode my horrendous macbook but is there options to verbally berate that vampire guy when he hits on you. if not, why
#from what I see he wants to cope bone you in like ??? middle of the woods#first of I’m sleeping second off put ur dick away third off I’m gonna get a big up my ass#I don’t know the context but if a man ever came up to me ass out and all while I’m trying to sleep on my camping trip or whatever#better pray 2 god he only gets verbally assaulted by me#can I make a character who just hates him so much. if not why#I genuinely believe my dislike of him is cuz he’s so popular and I have to see him all the time#it’s a silly dislike it’s like when u bully ur best friends and it’s a laugh for everyone
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It isn’t potential, though. Vegeta is famously, canonically, interesting and complex and well written, despite the anime’s best efforts to stifle it. The nuggets you get from Toei are what survived them scraping off Toriyama’s (very good, highly skilled) storytelling and character writing to focus on making Goku as plastic and stiff as the action figures they use the series to market (which Toriyama actively, vocally, and repeatedly did not want or like).
when u like a character for their potential to be interesting and complex more than how they’re actually written
#Vegeta has one of the most *famously* well-written developmental character arcs of all time fjdjd this post was Not About Him#Unless this is someone who has only ever seen DBS’ anime I do not understand this take Geets’ arc is 30 years old and largely unmatched#The anime scrapes off the nuance and love and force feeds you corporate protag worship so you’ll buy branded shit with protag’s face on it#I WISH I was exaggerating but I’m so bitter about Corporate Greed bleeding out good storytelling for the last decade lmao#I remember when I was blaming Toriyama for Toei’s writing. I’m so glad I know better now. Toriyama’s writing is so charming.#And honestly nothing summarizes my beef better than that One Panel of Vegeta and Trunks hanging out with Bulma and Dr B in the lab when Cel#Announced the Cell games.#The Anime 1) took bulma out of the lab 2) has geets start beef for no reason 3) has him leave without trunks and 4) just totally overrides#that despite all the grandstanding and attitude and mistakes leading up to that point Vegeta is there seated in the room with his family#Not pouting or grumpy or forced he’s just chillin in a chair in the lab while Bulma and DrB work on 16#And then when he leaves and Trunks follows and Bulma offers him a haircut Geets STOPS and WAITS for his son to be finished#like that scene is everyone grouped off with the people they’re closest to in the manga and Geets is with his family#That’s Toriyama’s Vegeta. Toei decided to make that moment about beefing with Yamcha and Bulma being out …? shopping…???#And Roshi explaining the Concept of a tournament to everyone before Cell explains what a tournament is to everyone. again.#Anyway old man yells at cloud hashtag ReadTheManga you get it#10 Days Til Daima!#Praying they don’t fuck up the final thing Toriyama ever trusted them with!!!!#But the woman writing it also wrote cells at work so at the VERY least we’re getting a cute funny DB show#Which tbh is all I want at this point
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Someone take me from this rotten household
#always my fault and everyone else’s actions are always excusable#dora daily#apparently I get treated the best ? the best my ass#I honestly don’t see her screaming at anyone but me most of the time#she doesn’t even scream that much at my dad mind you#wth do I do at this point#they’re so privileged like I’m never in their way bc I KNOWWWWW THEYLL be mean to me if I end up talking a bit more#and in fact they’re the ungrateful ones cause they beg me to speak to them for some reason#BUT THEYRE SO STUPID AS TO DEDUCE THAT ME SPEAKING TO THEM TRIGGERS SOMETHING IN THEM#they’re so lucky I always stay in my room and keep to myself#lmfao and my dads like talk to us ! tell us how you feel ! I’ve been your age and ik it’s hard so tell us#BUT WETHER I DONT TELL YOU OR NOT WHEN YOU FIND OUT IM CAPABLE OF EMOTION YOU JUST MAKE FUN OF ME#every time I’ve ever cried in front of them they laugh at me#and my sister is so stupid she copies everyone around her#and she laughs at memories of me crying when I was younger#or makes fun of them#honestly praying and whatnot doesn’t do anything#what’s the point of anything anymore I just want to lay on my bed forever and do nothing#well ironically enough my dad doesn’t laugh at me when I cry it’s just my mum#she’s like you’re always in a bad mood or upset or whatnot then leave me the fuck alone always what’s wrong with you#some ppl would beg for their kids to give them space and I have look at the other three that they have they can occupy them#if only I weren’t a coward and could actually go through with kms I cantttt
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Uh post-mental-breakdown clarity has hit and I am realizing I might have doomed myself by taking this woman back when she implied she’d kill herself if I didn’t
#also the way she told me she was going home (Mexico) and already sold her vehicles but then apparently teleported to work the very next day#*sold all her vehicles in under 12 hours I should say#chat am I cooked#idk what to do tbh I like her but like I don’t think we should be together actually#like I only actually feel romantic attraction when I’m delusional also apparently it doesn’t happen normally#fuck the whole big issue between us is also something I warned her about#SEVERAL TIMES and she said it was fine#but now she’s saying I make her depressed but if I leave her she’ll sewerslide??#praying to god she like decides on her own that this isn’t healthy for anyone#vent#delete later
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Today is 9/11, a day where I feel there will be at least one school shooting in America.
Stay safe.
#fuck america#i hate living in america#I hate living in fear#I shouldn’t be afraid to go to school#I shouldn’t have to go through metal detectors to get inside my school#I shouldn’t have to look through a list of schools that are reportedly targets for school shootings and pray that my school isn’t on there#some of my friends schools are on there#what am I supposed to do about that#how am I supposed to function when I know that at any time#me or my friends schools could be in danger#I’m only seventeen#I don’t want to die
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guys i may be crushing on my straight (technically bi but said she only really wants a boyfriend) best friend who i was accused of being in a lesbian relationship with in the first grade. help.
#vari posting#this is a canon event i fear#anyways i’m not gonna do anything for obvious reasons#but like she’s really pretty 🥺 idk why she comes to me for advice still#idek if it’s a crush because i haven’t had a real crush since 2021#but like she’s pretty and i want things to go well for her#and i want to protect her#like is that a crush or am i just a good friend who is friends with a pretty girl?#IS IT NORMAL TO THINK YOUR FRIEND IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON EARTH.#wtv not like we’d get together anyway#we literally made a pact not to because we’re not compatible as a couple only as friends#but her boyfriends treat her badly and i feel like she just needs better.#she needs me but a man.#not ME but someone who treats her like i treat her and is also a man#she literally offered to take me on vacation for a week and i had to say no because of college stuff 😭#the cost of being ambitious#but also i would not have survived#i am praying this is not a crush because we’re hanging out when she gets back from her vacation for her birthday#and i know damn well i won’t be able to hide feelings if i have them#i have not felt proper romantic feelings towards someone i know since my ex#that was fall/winter 2021#like????#i’ve known her for almost a decade and a half why is it only now#if it is now#why wouldn’t it have kicked in when we literally went to a rave together???#or slept in the same bed??? the many times we did that????#anyways i’m gonna write my vent fic.#i’ll think about this later#i don’t wanna crush on her PLEASEEE#it’s gonna end badly
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I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3
#it’s just gone in the oven which means at least 25 minutes and probably more like 45 bc I made a Lot#am also kiiiinda winging the recipe so my expectations are on the floor#this is. for a bake sale. pray for me#I’m gonna make the icing tonight and leave it in the fridge overnight I think for tomorrow morning#this has gone wrong at every available opportunity it was 100% not worth it#however! given the prices my friend wants to sell this at i May have turned this into like over £100 which isn’t bad#TWO CAKES. WHY AM I MAKING TWO CAKES#I’m procrastinating washing up the stuff I used to make the batter (hell) bc itssosososo messy and I just wanna shout abt stuff#primarily that I am once again so upset that I only get one more week of ice hockey before summer#there are two parts to this feeling: 1. I love ice hockey I’ve been having such a good time this past week while I’ve not had to stress#abt anything else. 2. gay. gay gay homosexual gay#like okay I’ve been worried abt whether this is an actual crush or I just convinced myself I like him bc pretty+queer#(because of course I can worry abt that). BUT yeah sorry no can confirm I like this dumb fuck this is so unfair#we talked a BUNCH last night and he’s just really cool.#ohhhh fuck I don’t think the oven was properly preheated bc I opened it for a while to fit the two tins in. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway!! he’s really fun to talk to someone help like if he does turn out to be single I could in THEORY text him over summer. maybe.#his birthday will be coming up and my friend suggested that. I’m being insane but oh my god this is torture#I ALSO watched the newest dr who episode today and that did NOT HELP. one of the first things in a while that have given me like#this same specific feeling when I get into gay romantic media. the ‘reading gay shit on wattpad at age 14 feeling’ if you will#where there’s like this weight in the pit of my stomach. it’s NICE that doesn’t sound good but it is#is this what straight people get with romance all the time. I know I just don’t watch/read much anymore but also#there’s straight romance in literally everything so.#but yeah basically I need another month of fuck around time minimum when everyone’s in this city so I can get my shit together#ALSO. I ONLY HAVE A YEAR LEFT HERE. THATS TERRIFYING. a year is a long time but it’s also not this one disappeared and this is like.#WAY too early to even consider that but he’s gonna be here probably for a year after I leave and that could suck if anything does happen.#I guess in theory I’m taking a year before phd probably so I could work here. idk man anyway that one is actually insane of me I’m just gay#boy 😔. they shouldn’t be allowed to do this#on Wednesday he’ll be done with exams and so will my other friend who knows him well. so I will be able to 1. subtly see w her if girlfriend#2. potentially. MAYBE ask what she thinks I’m just trying to decide whether that’s too much to put on her. I think I’m being insane there#luke.txt
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things you do that make svt bust quick (nsfw)
seungcheol —; tell him how good he’s doing
he’s a leo male… please stroke his ego.
tell him how you love his cock, how big he is, how it hits so deep inside you. tell him “right there,” and “keep going,” and to do it “just like that.”
stroke his possessive side too. tell him no one else can fuck you like he can, no one else can stretch you out so good, no one else can make you cum like he does. tell him that your pussy is made for him only.
be loud for him. god, he loves hearing you moan. say his name, beg for more, sob, whimper, gasp for him. don’t be shy about it. it’ll only be a matter of time before you butter him up enough to make him cum.
jeonghan —; beg
everyone knows yoon jeonghan likes having people at his mercy. he gets a little unhinged when he has power over someone—so imagine what he gets like when you’re writhing on his cock, gasping his name so sweetly, your eyes glimmering with tears as he fucks you hard.
“what is it, pretty?” he asks, and like the devil he is, he slows the movement of hips, pulling out of you until his tip barely kisses your also weeping hole. it’s torture for him too, to leave the hot, tight haven that is your cunt, but to him it’s worthwhile.
“wanna cum, hannie,” you whimper.
“hm… i don’t know if i should let you yet,” he says, dipping back inside just an inch. years of him being yours means you don’t miss the tiny strain in his voice that betrays his perfectly collected demeanour.
“please, hannie, please, please, please, let me cum. i’ve been so good,” you sob, squeezing your thighs where they rest on his hips.
you watch as a switch flips in his eyes within a millisecond. a grin lights up his face and he shudders, and he’s sliding back inside you, fucking in and out of you harder and faster than before. safe to say it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum after that.
joshua —; make eye contact
his pretty doe eyes make staring into them your favourite thing in the world, and if you asked him his favourite pastime, he’d tell you that it was gazing into your irises.
it’s also his biggest weakness. from the way you’ve got your mouth wrapped around his dick, throat gagging even though you’re only halfway down it, joshua feels his sanity slipping away. his fingers curl into the bedsheets below as he watches you work him, revels in the warmth of your tongue sliding up and down his shaft.
when your eyes flick up to meet his he doesn’t stand a chance. not with how glimmering they are, brimming softly with tears, yet swimming with adoration. with worship.
heat washes over his whole body, he’s gasping, and the salty warmth of his release pools on your tongue.
jun —; put his fingers in your mouth
when junhui gets inside you he has a one-track mind. he becomes rapt with pleasure, drunk from the warm squeeze of your pussy around him, focused on nothing but the sensation of you, the sight of you under him, the sound of you in his ears.
the effect you have on him is dangerous, because you’re equally obsessed with him as he is with you, and you’re not afraid to show him.
and you love his hands, he knows you do—knows how you love his slender fingers and their soft touches all over you, inside you. your brain is cloudy, fogged by lust when you take him by his wrist and bring his fingers to your mouth. your eyes sparkle as your lips wrap around his index finger, your soft tongue swirling around it.
jun’s mouth parts with awe, his eyes growing round. a second later, he stills inside you with a gasp of your name, like he’s praying to you, all the while you’re sucking on his finger like a devil.
hoshi —; scratch him
he’s a little bit of a freak, and a masochist too.
when he’s got you folded in half, hitting all the right spots inside you, you cling to him in every way you can—fingers grabbing at his biceps, his shoulders. one particular stroke of his hips has you squealing.
your nails sink into his skin, crying out his name as you rake them down the toned planes of his back. the second you do, soonyoung is grunting, hips stilling, cock twitching as a sticky warmth suddenly floods your cervix.
the worst part about it is how he always has the stupidest, most shit-eating smug grin on his face when he examines your damage in the bathroom after, and you know that if he could, he would post the selfies he takes in the mirror all over instagram. what’s even worse though? seeing your marks makes him hard again.
wonwoo —; cry
you’re such a sensitive little thing and wonwoo adores you. one orgasm on his fingers and you’re already overstimulated—“but baby, i haven’t even put my cock in you yet,” he’ll coo.
like it’s your fault you have a boyfriend with skilled fingers and a skilled tongue and who knows you inside and out like the back of his hand, who knows where to touch you and how hard and what pace makes you writhe the most.
by the time he does get inside you, you’re gasping and whining and clawing at him, tears springing to your eyes because he’s so big and so deep, but the stretch is so addictive that it’s dizzying. his voice is low and husky as he mutters to you a mixture of teases and praise, calls you his pretty girl and then laughs at sensitive you are, pretends he’s not on the verge of coming from the sound of your choked gasps.
your belly starts to pulse with that familiar heat and by then you’re keening for him, whimpering a mixture of his name and endless pleas as it starts to become too much. your sobs go straight to his cock, and it’s only a matter of time before he reaches his climax, and his gasps of pleasure harmonise with your own cries.
woozi —; pull his hair
he’s been growing his hair out. after all your begging, he finally listened. in a way, though, it’s backfired a little on you, because the longer it gets the more insane you become. and the thing is you never expected him to let it get to his shoulders—and still he doesn’t plan on cutting it. well, good. you would kill him if he did.
when his face is between your legs you’re nothing short of a feral animal—your hips bucking wild against his mouth, your legs trembling on his shoulders, your fingers, of course, grabbing fistfuls of his hair. he makes you whine when he pulls away from your needy, sticky cunt to tsk at you, tells you to cut it out and keep your hands to yourself. (it’s because he’s about to cream his pants).
when he bends you in half beneath him, ruts into you hard and fast and relentless, you need leverage. your hands land on the back of his neck, fingertips grazing at his roots, then one slam of his hips into yours has his cock bumping against the most sensitive spot inside you and your grasping at his hair and crying his name so desperately. no longer can he hold back, strained groans slipping past his lips as he lets go inside you.
dokyeom —; hold his hand
a sentimental sweetheart, seokmin is an utter romantic who thinks that being inside of you, whether in your mouth or your pussy, is intimacy in its purest form. now imagine showing him just how much more intimate things can get.
he’s losing his mind at the feeling of your tongue swirling around the head of his cock, the way you swallow his length down making him see stars. he can’t bare to look at you—he needs to focus on taking deep breaths so that he doesn’t cum straight down your throat. then he feels you grabbing at one of his hands, lacing your fingers together, and no amount of deep breathing can stop him from releasing.
and when he fucks you it’s no different—it’s him in near tears, whimpering your name between incoherent words over and over, and as soon as you take his hand in yours and your fingers wrap around his, there’s nothing else he can do but succumb to his own pleasure.
mingyu —; take control
he’s big and strong; strong enough to put you into whatever position he wants, to make you cum at his command, to do just as he pleases with you.
but that’s exactly why he likes it when you slap him around a little.
you can’t exactly bend him into doggy or use your weight to keep him pinned to the mattress, but you can sit yourself pretty on his cock and ride him teasingly slow. you can tell him he’s not allowed to touch you or you’ll stop moving. you can tell him to kiss you, to go slower, to go harder.
you can sit up and put a hand around his throat, still your hips, and tell him he can fuck you himself if he wants to cum. and he’ll do just that—and as soon as you utter the words, he’s gone, whining out curses as he fills you up in white, warm spurts.
minghao —; whisper in his ear
minghao often tells you how he adores your voice. when you talk to him he’s entranced, and he’s always been more of a listener than a talker, and it’s perfect because you always have so much to say, and minghao will listen to every last word of yours.
your voice—minghao’s kryptonite, his achilles’ heel, his undoing and, oh, the way you moan for him when he’s got you on his cock is enough to make his heart stop beating. the perverted part of him wishes he could record you, hide the file away on his phone and listen to you when he’s overseas and he can’t call you. maybe he’ll ask you about that, if he can find the courage.
the final blow is when you’re getting close. you lean in, right next to his ear, so close that your breath sends shivers along his skin. “please, hao, i’m so close,” you whisper, yet you still sound so desperate and depraved. “you are too, right? cum for me, please. i’ll cum for you too.”
so he does just that—minghao gives in and lets his orgasm wash over him, fingertips drawing circles on your clit until mere moments later he hears the sound of your own cresting pleasure and he feels himself getting hard again.
seungkwan —; wrap your legs around him
it’s a fact that seungkwan loves to be close to you. if he could, he would crawl inside of your skin and live in your heart. but since he can’t, constant physical touch is the next best thing.
he likes to think he has relatively good self-control…most of the time. like when he’s buried to the hilt inside you, he’s incredible at keeping in rhythm, fucking into you at the most perfect pace for both you and him, hitting the spot that makes your back arch off the bed.
somehow he never sees it coming—when your arms are snaked around his neck and you’re holding onto him for dear life as he takes you to heaven, and your legs wrap around his waist so that you can pull him in impossibly deep. then you bring his face to yours, and you have the most irresistible little pout on your face when you make your request. “cum inside me, seungkwannie?”
and it’s not like he has much choice with the way you’ve trapped him inside of you, but that’s the very reason why the next second he’s pumping you full, because when it’s you, how is he supposed to have any self-control?
vernon —; touch yourself
it’s not like vernon can last long in general. he thinks you’re the hottest thing alive and he’s so enamoured with you that it’s too much for him sometimes, but you best believe he’ll put his all into holding out just for you.
there are times, however, where he’s just a man. and what’s a man to do when he has a goddess riding his dick? when your tits look so pretty, bouncing in his face, when you have that fucked out look in your eyes, when you feel like heaven and hell all at once?
and what the fuck is a man to do when your hand drifts down between your legs, to your aching clit, and your fingers start to rub it in circles, or when your other hand grasps one of your tits and tugs at one of your own nipples? and your sweet pussy clenches around him so tight when you do, clamps down on him in an hot, wet embrace, so what else can he do but cum?
dino —; say ‘i love you’
another sweet, sentimental boy. lee chan is head over heels for you, enamoured, obsessed, smitten, infatuated with you… the list of things he is around you is endless.
it shows in the way he fucks you—always takes his time with you, never rushes taking you apart. every touch of his is intentional, meant to set you both ablaze. when he eats you out to prep you for his cock, he has to try not to cum in his pants from how pretty you are.
where he really doesn’t stand a chance however is when he’s bottomed out inside you, as close as he can possibly be with you—so close you’re practically one. the sweetest sounds fall from your lips, spurring on his expert thrusts.
his forehead is plastered to yours, the pair of you revelling in one another’s sweat and gasps for air. “i love you,” you confess gently, and chan falls over the edge of pleasure not a moment later.
#svthub#seventeen smut#svt smut#scoups smut#jeonghan smut#joshua smut#jun smut#junhui smut#hoshi smut#wonwoo smut#woozi smut#dokyeom smut#dk smut#mingyu smut#minghao smut#seungkwan smut#vernon smut#dino smut#scoups x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#jun x reader#junhui x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#dokyeom x reader#dk x reader#mingyu x reader#minghao x reader
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LIKE THAT !
— their favorite positions feat. kento nanami, toji fushiguro, choso kamo, ryomen sukuna.
WARNINGS. fem reader (she/her), v penetration, toys (vibrator, butt plug), slight overstim, switch nanami, boobjob, sub cho, pssy job, choking, mean kuna (duh) kunas tongue hands note: hiiiii this is my first post on here! im nervous but vv excited to be starting a blog. feedback + reblogs are greatly appreciated! also sorry if my characterization is off ;( ty and enjoyyyy ᡣ𐭩
KENTO NANAMI & MISSIONARY — “baby, let me look at you. wanna watch you take it” + “that’s it, my gorgeous girl. stick your tongue out. so cute when you go dumb”
no matter how hard he tries, nanami always finds himself cumming too fast. embarrassed, he’ll nuzzle into the side of your neck, flushed nose bridge dusting your sensitive skin as his milky cum spills into your warm pussy. long, fluffy, blonde lashes curl up when he screws his eyes shut at the overwhelming feeling of your gummy walls and he’s praying you don’t hear how pathetic he sounds whining, or feel the way he shakes and trembles being sucked dry by his sweet girl.
on the other hand, nanami also found that when he fucks you from the front— his hand wrapped tightly around the base of your ankle, the other holding your favorite vibrator against your puffy clit, you cum too fast. your back arching so prettily for him as he forces your shaky thighs apart so he can keep fucking into you through your high.
he only finds pleasure in yours, so naturally it becomes his favorite position.
plus, he loves to watch your pretty tits bounce with every deep stroke— your face contorting, jaw slacking at the feeling of his thick cock stretching your pussy out as he does so, so well.
ᯓ
“don’t look away, keep those pretty eyes on me,” nanami’s hair is mussed, eyelids drooping low almost completely covering his brown irises. his flushed ears swallow the filthy, filthy sounds that you make at the feeling of his fat veiny, cock dragging against your sticky walls. they’re pornstar-esque and your hips buck up at the constant vibration against your poor abused clit. body growing limp, eyes fogging over, rolling back—
“uhn uh baby, look at me”
you do as you’re told: whimpering out a breathy, “yes sir” the air in the room is heavy, a thin layer of sweat sticks in your body, and nanami’s musky scent envelops you as you write underneath him. “my baby feels good? feels good when i fill your pussy up, hm?”
tears start slipping down the apples of your burning cheeks as you nod sheepishly. he’s rolling his hips, making you feel all of him at every angle.
your clear slick drips down his heavy balls and he’s gritting his teeth, strokes turning sporadic because fuck he’s getting close, “yeah my messy girl, show me how good it feels. let me fucking feel it.”
TOJI FUSHIGURO & BOOBJOBS — “you look so pretty with my dick between your tits like that” + “keep fucking goin. gonna paint that face. know you love it when i do, my dirty girl”
toji’s hands are always, always glued to your boobs. sometimes he jokes he can’t even sleep without sliding his hands underneath the hem of your shirt so he can grope and pinch at your tits. they’re just so soft and pretty, he thinks. especially when your nipples harden against his warm tongue, his teeth lightly grazing the sensitive buds.
the first time you gave him a boobjob, he felt dizzy. it was too good. so warm, so soft. his leaky cock slipping between your smooth mounds with every quick jerk of his hips.
he gets so sensitive. vocal, too.
ᯓ
“feels so good when you push them together like that fuck baby,” toji’s chest heaves as he groans, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your pillowy tits embracing him, taking him in so sweetly, “spit on it”
you’re looking up at him through long lashes with big heart eyes, giggling before you purse your plump lips, dipping your head to let a fat glob of foamy spit fall onto his tip. it glides down over the slit of his cock— “shit” before sliding onto your chest making his head spin, a long string of curse words sounding under his breath.
“cum for me toj’ want it all over me” your tongue pokes out to lick and lap at the salty pre oozing out his reddened head.
“you’re so fucking dirty,” his chest heaves some more— body jerking, his toned abs flexing. then there it is, that fucking smirk. the scar on his lips jumps up following the change in his expression.
“ask me s’more. i might give you what you want, but only if you beg for it. fuckin’ drain it out of me, doll”
CHOSO KAMO & COWGIRL — “ride me baby, please. love when you bounce on me” + “you're too pretty shit. make me cum so fast m'sorry”
you are choso’s first everything. he had never been in a relationship before you and he doesn’t plan on leaving, so you’ll be his last as well.
the first time you two were intimate, you took your time with him, pressing soft kisses to every inch of his toned body, showering him with your warm love.
before lowering yourself on him, you were grinding against his needy cock. hips moving in fluid motions, back .. and forth .. leaving him a pretty whimpering mess underneath you. putty in your little hands.
when you finally let him in, your pussy hugging him so so tightly he came before even bottoming out :(
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“fuck- yesyesyes” choso’s grip on your waist is tight, his hips slamming up against your ass as he fucks into you so deeply, leaky cock twitching inside your silky walls. “feels so good, oh my god”
it’s so cute how eager he gets— his face all pinky, blush covering his pale skin. your hand dances up his lean chest before reaching his neck, fingers wrapping around him, your nails sinking into his skin, branding little crescent-shaped marks. and his eyes roll back in such a sultry way, his adam’s apple bobbing up as he groans, it should be fucking illegal.
“fu- ple- ba-by” he can’t even speak. he’s trying so hard— so, so hard to be good and ask for your permission, but pretty whimpers fill the room in its place and he’s cumming, filling your pussy up to the brim as he cries out your name mixed with “sorry”’s because he knows he’s supposed to ask for it.
RYOMEN SUKUNA & FULL NELSON — “who gave you permission to be so fucking messy, huh? creaming 'round my dick, fucking filthy.” + “screaming like a cheap whore— be quiet and take it. unless you want to be treated like one”
sukuna is just so rough when he fucks you. mean too, throwing you around like you weigh nothing, using every limb to his advantage. he gets off to seeing your ruined face, red teary eyes, and mascara smeared all over your flushed cheeks with drool sliding down your chin.
he loves it when you’re helpless, either tied up or his arms holding you in place.
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sukuna’s thick cock is buried deep in your sloppy pussy. his arms snaked underneath your thighs— hands on the back of your head, forcing you to watch how greedily your pussy sucks him in. “what a filthy fucking whore. ‘s fucking pathetic.”
white cream jackets his cock and it glistens against the dim lights in his palace every time he pulls out before slamming you back down.
he’s a feral fucking animal, rutting into you feverishly with deep grunts. one of his hands is on your clit—tongue flicking against your otherwise neglected nub. it’s too much. you’re already struggling to take the inches he’s bullying into your tight pussy and here he goes adding more.
“so f- full ‘ku”
“be grateful,” he grunted, one of his thumbs pushing a pretty diamond butt plug into your tight ass— using your slide as lube while two fingers shove down your throat.
“i could’ve chosen one of the other concubines— be grateful and fucking take it.”
#ᝰ.ᐟ — so’s diary#nanami smut#toji smut#choso smut#sukuna smut#jjk smut#nanami x reader#toji x reader#choso x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#nanami x you#toji x you#choso x you#sukuna x you#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#nanami x reader smut#choso x reader smut#sukuna x reader smut#toji x reader smut#nanami x y/n#toji x y/n#choso x y/n#sukuna x y/n#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen
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