#i lied when i said i didnt want you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

degradangel · 25 days ago

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crying during crying during sex

#txt #ethel cain #hayden anhedönia #i lied when i said i didnt want you #holding onto you like i do like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to #two drowning coals won’t ever light #but if i ask you to you’ll warm the night #terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you #i don’t know what happened i don’t know what happened i was young and sweet and then something happened #i hate him for the time he’s gone #i forgot what stop means #it’s easy for him to get out of me what i’ve been praying will get out of me #will i always be crying during sex with you #all my dreams take place in heaven where it’s quiet lying next to you #and if i’m crying it’s because i’m in love #and i could love you if i tried and i’m trying i’m trying i’m trying i’m trying

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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago

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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))

My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can

and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.

#nsft #probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik #im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people #snap sketches #not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH #i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live #and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway #i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably #so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will #it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to #leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy #all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep #i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free #'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully #please give me the strength to focus for once thank you #for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now

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sonknuxadow · 10 months ago

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it's kinda funny that some people seem to think eggman has a soft spot for kids or something because of his relationship with sage like have you guys not seen the way he interacts with 90 percent of the other characters in this franchise . hes constantly fighting with teenagers and little kids and putting them in danger he does NOTTTT care lmao

#he once pulled a gun on amy and implied he was gonna hurt her if sonic didnt give him what he wanted #tails is one of the boss fights when you play as eggman in sa2 he literally said KILL THAT 8 YEAR OLD !!!!!!!!!#hes lied to /manipulated knuckles and shadow for his own gain #hes kidnapped cream to use her for his evil plans or whatever #and if i listed all the times hes intentionally put sonic in a life threatening situation or otherwise hurt him id be here all night #theres definitely more this is just a few examples off the top of my head excluding things that only happened in comics/movies/etc #so no i dont think he cares for little kids or teenagers all that much actually #sage and metal sonic are just exceptions #not saying eggman is a bad character for any of this btw. hes a villain hes supposed to do bad things #im just saying that he said fuck them kids

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a-blip-of-billdip · 5 months ago

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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.

So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.

SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.

These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.

because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.

So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?

Yeah. Im out ✌🏼

#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies #but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum #i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing #guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls #antipsych #i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with #someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis #i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and #nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never #even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back #against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you #ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.

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leolaroot · 8 months ago

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made my mom cry but i got some serious bull shit off my chest oh well happy mothers day

#shes reading this conference talk where this guy says “trust is the basis of all relationships” and she says i dont think thats true bc how #can a mother trust her baby. how can a mother trust a toddler. how can a mother trust an adult child who has lied or turned their life away #from their parents.#and so i asked her do you not trust us kids?#abd she waffled but eventually she said Yesh. like i love you and i know i can trust you for some things but all of you have hurt me so.#and i said Yeah thats natural. i think complete trust is a superhuman quality i dont think i trust anyone 100%#qnd she says Okay so why dont you trust me. What have i ever done to you.#first of all. 😐 you dont want to hear it so dont ask that lol. 2nd you just told me you dont trust me and i didnt react so calm down.#but anyways i just said to her “youre dependable and i know you wont let me down when youve made a commitment to do something.#but i have emotions and thoughts that i do not trust you with.“#and we both started crying but i stood firm and i told her i love her but she just got up and left.#she loves starting convos like that but i do kind of feel bad for dropping thwt on her esp when she like. had to leave soon for an appt #but . i didnt say anything I didnt mean. and i was just responding to her.

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68thsposts · 14 days ago

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.◇ TW (vent )

(sorry if you see this ,you can scroll past it if you want i just wanted to write what happend in case i forget since my memoriescan get muddy )

#I hate my mother . yesterday on christmass eve #When i tried to talk to her about something she keep on ignoring me not listening to me even when i asked her first before someone else w #A conversation with her she stops an talk to a family member i got angry an refused to talk with her and leave an went upstairs #She then started to behave agreesive with me by holding my hand harshly or my belongings by carelessly moving it #When i was washing my legs with soap and water since i didnt get a chance to properly take a bath and my legs wasnt able to be wash #She angrily started to shout when she walk by me saying i dont behave right that not right in the head that if i psycho i will end up i #Ward one with crazy people and that no one will come for me #I Dont understand how wanting to clean my legs make me psycho sure i might have taken some more time than someone else to wash their legs #Does not mean im pscho or have mentel illness?!#Even if i do have one instead of being understanding they act as it wrong an that the problem lies with you like they arent the #One who donate to the problem . i cannot completely remember what she said it was more but that mostly about it #Just now today just because i was standing she saw me and aggresively trow the pee bucket near me that belong to a family member it #splathered on me The reason i know that is because she is one good terms with that family #Member she woldnt have trow it carelessly without a reason

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comradecowplant · 10 months ago

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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS #youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao #i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol #to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting #she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3 #anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel #THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now #telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this #so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly #turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that #also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to #so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings #gender into conversations that it does not belong in #'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks #she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine #ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘

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fardf150 · 6 months ago

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fuck

#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all #bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever #but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then #but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou #s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck #i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked #i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself #fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her #and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it #but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all #im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet #I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands #'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring #you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act #like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even #fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me #i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned

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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago

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the villainess flips the script is a really fun manhwa with gorgeous art and my wonderful son luca who is a little bitch who i love so much BUT i will say. the family tree situation as the story has gone on makes my head hurt

#luca buddy im sorry ur family tree has at least one circle in it #somehow the most. ethical? incest? his parents were unknowing um. second cousins? hold on i need to work this out #are they second cousins or are they first cousins once removed. i need to consult charts #I THINK they were second cousins. lets go with that. okay so they were second cousins who didnt know they were second cousins #accidentally having a drunken one night stand and thats how luca came to be. no personal relation and apparently risk of like #genetic issues goes down with second cousins. so i guess its like. the most um. 'ethical'? it could possible be. but still :(#but also luca love interest is his second cousin too maybe? the kid of his blond great uncle???? i dont know man #all so the main character can turn out to be secretly royalty orz TOO COMPLICATED too complicated #although i guess this is how a lot of historical royal and noble families were tho. a bit circular.#that is something i would change tho if i wrote this. first of all i would make judith his bio mom instead of pretending #because i think a fl who had a drunken one night stand the dead playboy brother of her LI is just really interesting LOL #but also i would just like. remove her relation to the royal family entirely #but thats me personally. i find the main character finding out about secret royal blood trope suuuuper boring LOL #but it is common in stories like this so i deal. but in this case i would absolute strike out that plotline. maybe give it to #luca instead like make him look oddly like his great grandma and make the former king obsess over him instead #we'd still get a lot of the same plot beats because of judiths relation to him but just without the loopy family tree JKSDJHDKs #ALSO also i would make lucas relationship with rudiger stronger. NOT SAPPIER like the original in universe novel i like the difference #but i would make them closer in like a shitty uncle who sucks that you hang out with anyway and the shitty nephew u lovingly bully #sort of way. if that makes sense. one problem i have with a lot of villianess stories that have a kid in it is when the love interest like #doesn't have much of a relationship with the kid. i think its lame. i want them to be CLOSE not just like mild coworkers #but thats just me. thats just me #despite all i just said i still really like it. rudiger is cute luca is my baby boy who i love so much and judith is so silly and i love he #great characters even if i would personally alter their relationships

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widevibratobitch · 10 months ago

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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy #cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS #is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now #actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen #when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell #your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you #cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc #dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august #and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright #like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life #but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore #christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af #but i genuinely dont have any other advice #like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas

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girl-bateman · 8 months ago

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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all #literally my soul is gone or something #i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed #which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better #alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off #like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot #like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy #moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously #but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends #i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help #idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho #like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback #kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk #it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore #but who knows 🤷‍♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol #that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown #like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way #and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever #and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality #plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good #but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you #but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !

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dream-sans-mogai · 8 months ago

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Im so fucking tired of allistic people man...

They always present like 2 choices for you and go on for days about how they understand either choice, they won't judge you no matter what you pick and how they'll be fine regardless then act all disappointed and whiney when you make that choice and they didn't get the answer they wanted.

I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong choice™️. If you wanted me to do something why didn't you say it. I don't care about all your little social shit, be honest with me. I didn't choose based on your wants when I don't know what you want. I made the "selfish" choice despite everyone around me saying they supported my decision and totally understood. Then I'm the bad guy. For making a choice. That I was assured over and over again that I wasn't going to be judged for.... I'm so tired of this... I'm so tired of allistic people setting these fucking landmines for me. Like they enjoy my suffering. I always get fucking burned in these situations. I can either just do what I think they want with varying response or I can be honest and unmask and do what I think is best for me then they all collectively sigh and look away like Im the disappointment...

If it's not truly safe, don't fucking tell me I'm safe. If I truely won't be judged, don't judge me. If I can't safely unmask, don't tell me to be myself and make my own choices. Even allistic people who had no fucking skin in this game judged me. I chose the option that was best for me and now I'm the villain. Again. Fuck allistic people man, fuck those wishy-washy judgey ass people.

#clover speaks #clover vents #its ok they said just do whats best for you they said #and my dumbass was just like yeah sure 😚 and now im looked at like a monster for taking a choice they gave me #and encouraged me to take! ill support you no matter what my ass #it makes me feel so fucking unsafe in my chocies like a fucking saw trap #its always multiple choice questions and nothinge ever seems like the right choice #they are always wrong and everyone always despises me abit afterwards #even when i know i didnt do anything wrong i didnt hurt anyone and i made a chocie for me #its all supports and i love yous and its oks up until the tism comes back out and i get the cold shoulder #i get the look aways and the silence #they know they are hurting me and they dont care about the betrayal i feel over being basically lied to #i know its your choice but i felt like- ok then why didnt you say anything BEFORE I MADE THE CHOICE #FUCK ALLISTIC PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THEIR QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS GAMES THAT MAKE ME LOOK HORRIBLE FOR NO REASON #IM SORRY I DIDNT READ YOUR EXPRESSION ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE A MODERATE MENTAL DISABILITY THAT PREVENTS ME FROM RWADING EXPRESSIONS #i just wanna say or do something right and they always judge me no matter what #im never safe around these people because everything is always watched and judged according to their morals and what they would choose #as if their morals are superior to mine because they are fine with throwing themselves at trains over nothing and im kot #fuck allistic people man #im so stupid for believing them and thinking this time ill be safe...#im never safe i will never be safe #im always so scared of looking like a stone faced unfeeling monster who dosent love anyone or anything and they always make me into it #no matter what i do or how much i try to express it #i feel things i love people im not a robot #this hurts so much...#sorry for the total lack of context but you dont need any #i dont want or need any more allistic judgement

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fuckingarataswespeak · 2 years ago

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finally got the balls to block them on tumblr so i can not-so-vague post abt it now but I just had to break up with the person i was dating for 9 months

#Little part of me is like at least you were the one to do the breaking up #but also i was the one getting absolutely nothing back for this entire relationship #so who really won.....#i'm a really good communicator and i could barely talk to them and i wanted to break up for ages but then they were straight up like awful #to me #and then they LIED to me #and once i found out they lied there was nothing that could ever redeem them #I would never in a million years do what they did to me and none of my friends would either so now they have to live with the fact #that they fucked this whole thing up completely on their own #and that I was too good for them #I'm not a saint im not perfect but i WAS too good for them #absolute child #I switch between completely fuming about what they did to me and really sad that anyone would hurt me like that #because i genuinely would never lie to anyone like that #the nail in the coffin was when they didnt show up to my birthday #a guy i didnt know that well showed up from meath to be there #and do you want to know why they didnt come?#they just didn't bother #and then they lied about it #and now i dont think i can trust anything they said #i will put up with a lot of shit if your honest about it but once you lie to me then its over #one of my friends turned out to be a pathological liar and i didnt clock it for years and they KNEW about that and they KNEW my policy on #lying and they had the absolute NERVE to try and tell me that they lied to protect me from how shitty they were #Nah u were lying to protect ur own ass #wish i got more mad at them during the breakup but it hadn't all registered #Like i put in so much effort and i only realised when they just didn't bother showing up to my birthday that they just dont give a shit #about me and they just wanted to play at having a girlfriend #I was always trying to support them and i got NOTHING back #anyways oops i literally didnt expect to say all of this i just wanted to tell the tumblr girlies that im a single pringle #broke up with them yesterday so its still pretty fresh.

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fortjester · 2 years ago

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sister n itster in law are in act five of htn. im rubbing my grubby little hands together. i feel evil.

#htn #harrow the ninth #tlt #the locked tomb #my post #fuck off lou #my sister just went 'YOU LIED TO ME ABT X THINGS'#and i was like 'IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD YOU DIDNT WANT ME TO SPOIL THOSE THINGS FOR YOU'#like. girl. if id straight up said you were right when you were theorising.#you wouldnt have enjoye dthe brainblast that is htn authentically #im ensuring youre getting the full experience #not my fault youre psychic abt some of thses twists

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aquarri · 2 years ago

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.

#anon #there are very few people i truly hate on the earth and louis is not one of them #really my 'hate' for him comes from a place of love and the want for them to do better #because they deserve better! and they can achieve that #yeah recently i've been hating on him and have been 'unsupportive' but thats how i deal with people who are in my eyes being stupid #making poor decisions #its very hard for me to see something and brush it under the rug #(not supporting the doc bc i dont want a doc that isn't truly authentic or made without the public lies)#im not someone whos gonna sit back and laugh when i see something i dont like ya know?#(please dont call me a solo harrie bc i think you missed my hating harry holivia era :D that was a shit show and harry was acting stupid #and i said that and didnt support that either lol)#not that i need to justify anything but i complain about hshq and tour all the time #im not gonna hate on harry bc hes not pissing me off rn? lol #its tough love sorry anon ik my worth and what i deserve to give to people based on what they give back #is that parasocial? idk but i also dont need to blindly follow and act happy when im not?#also i hate the word “stan” im just here observing the drama talking on my little blog about millionaire men that annoy me sometimes #i really do want better for them thats why im here at least thats what brought me here #i do like louis or at least i liked what he stood for in previous years but idk both of them seem to be kind of lost at the moment #this just turned into a ramble but anon im not a solo harrie nor will i ever be #i would like to be called a hater larrie.#why would i be directing hater energy at harry when he just sang woman after louis did ~that~#im not gonna praise him for stunting with a 22 y/o playing daddy and releasing a copy lg doc lmao

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averysmolkirbo · 4 months ago

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PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK SO

ive lost ENTIRE friendships over this kind of thing. how am i supposed to know when you want to bw comforted by a lie?? its worse when you say "be honest" and get mad. Like no. you dont get to do that.

also this has not only lost me friends but has actually cost me ACADEMICALLY.

basically the thing was we had to do a presentation on a bunch of music artists (including one my teacher said was her favorite) and whilst doing research on said favorite i found that they really werent the best person (their wikipedia had a whole separate controversies section) and because it was factual information that i thought was important i put it in my presentation.

i get my grade back and its fine, but im going over what i got wrong and she took points off for the part where i reported less than favorable things on her favorite artist, with a snide comment like "you need to be more careful about what you're claiming against people" despite the fact that these weren't even new allegations, or allegations at all. It was factual info. IT WAS ADMITTED BY THE ARTIST THEMSELF. IT TOOK ME ALL OF 15 SECONDS TO FIND A CREDIBLE SOURCE ON IT. FUCK YOU MEAN "BE CAREFUL WHEN CLAIMING" I AINT ""CLAIMING"" SHIT, IM TELLING YOU FACTS. IT WASNT IN THE RUBRIC THAT WE HAD TO LIE ABOUT IT.

she totally just got mad at me for finding (very surface level, mind you, i'm no fbi agent) dirt on her favorite so she couldnt have a clear conscience about liking them. Similar thing happened to an artist she didnt really like, didnt bat an eyelash. biased bitch.

Also the way she made it sound was like we were personally gonna show it to the artist themselves, or put it in some highly published journal or something. no!! she was literally the only person who would be seeing this. this random artist isnt gonna have their feelings hurt if thats what youre so worried about.

also i think she already hated me for some reason and probably just did that because she hated me. and i have no idea why she even hated me. I did my work. I was nice to HER. I wasnt disruptive. she just hated my undiagnosed autistic vibe or some shit.

and on a side tangent on her, because it was a french class the class had the opportunity to go on a trip and it was (for the most part) great but near the end of the trip she was like super shady and started shit-talking MY MOTHER behind her back, FOR HELPING SOMEONE. And she really thought she was fucking slick bitching about her to our innocent guide in french, thinking she'd have no clue she talking about her. The only problem with that is my mom just so happens to have her bachelor's with a MAJOR IN FRENCH. she used to be a highschool french teacher, just like her. She understood everything they said. When she told me about it i was so pissed i very nearly went up to her face and asked her what her fucking problem was.

like you're not only deciding to say this at all, but you're doing it someone else, behind her back, and in a different language because you know you're being a bitch.

so glad that was one of the last times i ever had to deal with her because couldnt stand her after that. good fucking riddance.

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#WELL IT CERTAINLY SEEMS LIKE IT #one of my biggest autism struggles is knowing when people want the truth and when they want to be lied to #like you said be honest and i was. you have no right to get mad at me for doing what you asked #how the fuck am i supposed to know when i need to sugarcoat things??? its not like there's verbal cues!!#“why'd you say that!!” bcuz u said 'be honest'. i was honest. what do you want.#like some situations are more obvious but some are just a gamble #and they get SO mad at you for it?? like not even like a little mad #like full on friendship ruined in 3 seconds mad.#please just tell me what you want!!1!!1!#neurotypicals are so confusing x_x #i guess i will be tagging this as a rant #i didnt mean to go that long #but honestly i needed that off my chest #i said a slimmed down version of that in a twt thread earlier #but it needed to be expressed in full. feel better about it now #unexpected rant #rant post #vent post

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