#only then i’ll even look at the 100k fics lol

[lovemadethemdoit]

when people are like "i don’t read any fics under 100k! i want fics to be between ideally 150k and 300k." i’m always baffled because i won’t start reading fics with a wc of 100k and over until i’ve run out of *all intriguing fics with lower word counts* to read and even then your fic must be very convincing for me to open it and commit myself to binge reading it over the weekend

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 21 - zuko x fem!reader

Meet me in the afterglow

part 20 | masterlist | part 22

a/n: wowwwww we're finally in the happy part of this fic lol. it feels so good to write zuko and yn together after 100k words of them being on opposite sides and hating each other. it was actually kind of hard to write this because it was a lot of chill fluff and it has been a long Long time since ive written that. very sorry this took so long

wc: 5k

warning(s): some discussions of yn and zuko's pasts but overall very fluffy

chapter title comes from afterglow by taylor swift!

Silence.

That was what Y/N woke up to.

No nightmares, no guilt, no flashbacks—just… silence.

And the arms of another around her. Zuko. She reveled in the warmth he provided, sighing contentedly as she shifted to look at him. 

She’d always thought Zuko was beautiful, but he was even more so when asleep. His features relaxed rather than rageful, no longer tainted by her own incessant anger. Pools of gold met her when his eyes flickered open, a gentleness held within them she’d missed dearly. 

“Hi,” she whispered, a smile already tugging at her lips.

“Hi.” His voice was just as soft, his own emerging smile enough to make her melt. “Did you sleep well?”

“Better than I have in months.” Y/N moved her hand over his, and Zuko turned his over to entangle their fingers. “And it’s all thanks to you.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he murmured, and he drew her in for a soft kiss. That was what made her melt. “You know I’m never letting you go again, right?”

A light laugh spilled from her lips. “I don’t want you to.”

“Good.�� 

Though she wanted nothing more than to nestle back into Zuko’s embrace, she mustered enough strength to sit up, a small yawn escaping her. “When do you think we should go back?”

Zuko sighed as he sat up next to her, running a hand through his rustled hair. “We have time, Y/N. We’re in your village, the place you grew up. We don’t have to go back until you want to.”

“We are on a timeline though—”

“A timeline that isn’t close to being up yet,” he countered. “Aang doesn’t have to fight my father for a while—a few extra days out here isn’t going to hurt us.” Zuko shrugged. “You deserve a break after all you’ve been through lately, and besides—I’m sure your people wouldn’t mind hosting the savior of the village for a little longer.”

Y/N laughed and pushed him lightly, eliciting a little half-smile from Zuko. “Okay, I get it. Another day would be really nice.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?”

She shook her head. “The rest of today will be enough for me to help get things moving on the repair front. We’ve already been gone two days—any longer than this and Katara will think we’ve died.” 

Zuko chuckled. “Alright.”

“Besides,” she said as she stood up and stretched her arms out, “after all of this is over, I’ll be able to come back anytime I want. And,” Y/N looked at Zuko, “I’ll be able to properly introduce you. As Zuko my boyfriend, and not Zuko the evil prince.”

He grinned. “Your boyfriend? Is that official?”

Y/N groaned and swatted at him. “Get out of here. I have to get dressed.”

“Anything for my beautiful girlfriend,” Zuko said as he got up, still wearing that ridiculous grin while he walked out.

Y/N rolled her eyes as he shut the door, but she couldn’t help but smile. It felt good, joking around like this. Having a lazy morning—waking up with him in the first place. 

And yeah—hearing Zuko call her his girlfriend was pretty nice too. 

She’d been longing for it for a greater time than she knew, and now that she’d worked through her anger, let it go, realized that this was what she wanted? 

It was too great a feeling to put into words.

That small smile remained on her lips as she began to rifle through her belongings, the minuscule amount she’d packed for this trip in a tiny satchel. She wanted to change, but the only other clothes she had were the tunic and pants she’d worn for months in prison. They were sort of the only clothes she owned now. 

The smile faded as she shoved them back into her bag. Maybe she could ask Leya to borrow one of her dresses for the day. That particular memory didn’t need to be resurfaced right now. 

She blew out a loose sigh as she sat back down on the bed, allowing herself a moment to really take it all in. 

Though Y/N had initially planned to get in and get out, the whole ‘taking back the village’ thing really threw a wrench in her hasty excursion. After last night—after the fight, the general, the grave—she was well and truly exhausted. Lao and Leya had immediately offered up the second bedroom of their home to her and Zuko, claiming it was ‘the least they could do after all she’d done’, and in the moment, Y/N wasn’t one to deny it. 

She didn’t realize how worn out she was until she laid down on the bed—true exhaustion and the warmth of Zuko’s arms around her was a deadly combination—and she was out before she knew it. 

It was the best she’d slept in a long time. 

Because she didn’t have a new outfit, she opted for smoothing out the black fabric and her hair, and nodded to herself before she left the room. She was surprised to see Zuko leaning against the wall next to the door, his arms crossed as he stared off at nothing in particular. 

“You waited?”

“Obviously. Life-threatening fights don’t have to be the only time we stick together.” She chuckled a bit as she slipped her hand into his, pleased at how familiar the motion felt.

“Of course.”

“Besides—” Zuko cleared his throat as his eyes darted away for a moment— “I’m kind of scared of Leya and Lao. I don’t think they really trust me.”

“What? Of course they do!” she exclaimed. “You took down the factory with Lao, and you helped in the fight for our village—they wouldn’t have offered you the place if they didn’t.” 

“You weren’t there,” he said dryly. “Lao questioned me the entire way to the factory about you. And he might be okay about me now, but Leya still seems uneasy. They still don’t even know who I really am.” 

“Who you are is Zuko. It doesn’t matter that you’re the prince—you’re Zuko, and you helped them. That’s all they’ll care about.” She gave him a slight nudge. “Things are different out here, away from the Fire Nation. People are tolerant. You’ve seen that while you’ve been away, right?”

It took Zuko a moment, but he nodded. His lips quirked in the smallest smile and he nodded again, as if he was actually starting to believe it. “Okay. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” she repeated. She swung their hands together a bit and started to lead the way. “Now let’s go. It’s nearly noon—we’ve gotta get our day started.”

“If you say so,” Zuko mused, and she just laughed. 

“I do.” 

“It’s good to see the two of you are finally awake,” Leya mused from her cushion as they emerged into the living room. “I was afraid you would sleep the whole day away.” 

“If anyone deserves it,” Lao said, walking over from the kitchen, “it’s them.” 

“Sorry.” Y/N scratched her neck, slightly bashful. “We were exhausted after yesterday.” 

“No need to apologize,” Leya laughed, and she gestured towards the counter. “Help yourselves, please—we made xiaolongbao and egg custard tarts to celebrate. There’s far too much for just the two of us.” 

“Are you sure?” Zuko asked tentatively.

“Of course we’re sure,” Lao said. “We’ve welcomed you into our home. Anything we have is yours, son.” He frowned. “I never did get your name.” 

He paused. “...My name is Zuko.” 

The name struck them like steel, tension immediately thick in the air even if just out of instinct. 

“Like Prince Zuko,” Leya said carefully, “of the Fire Nation.” 

“I don’t think I’m much of a prince anymore,” he frowned. “I did betray my entire country to help the Avatar.” 

Lao glanced at Y/N, the unsaid question obvious. 

“It’s the truth,” she said. “Zuko has been working with us for a good while now. He’s the Avatar’s firebending teacher, and he’s going to help us end the war.” 

“Alright,” Lao said, and he nodded. “Welcome to our home, Zuko. Officially.” 

His brows creased together. “Really?” 

“You’re clearly a good man,” he said. “Not just anyone would do what you’ve done.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“It is,” Lao insisted. “You didn’t have to help free our village, but you fought on the front lines with us.” He smiled wryly. “That makes a man good in my book.” 

“I agree.” Leya’s smile was softer, kinder, but held the same respect. “You’re just as much a hero to our village as Y/N is.” 

Zuko looked like he wanted to protest, but Y/N placed her hand over his and nodded. He deserved the praise. 

“...Thank you,” he finally said, wholly genuine. “You have no idea how much that means to me.” 

“Any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of ours,” Leya said, and her lips quirked up. “Would you like to hear some of the terrible things she did when she was younger?” 

“Leya—” Y/N began, but Zuko shook his head, his own smile growing. 

“Tell me everything.” 

She groaned as he pulled her over to the floor, two cushions already set for them. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks as she sat down next to him, Leya and Lao launching into a story together from her childhood. 

(She had always been a bit of a terror, especially after she discovered her waterbending. That didn’t mean she wanted Zuko to know about it.) 

((“This is no way to treat the savior of the village,” she complained at one point. She was fully ignored.)) 

After spending far too many hours eating, chatting, and laughing (at Y/N’s expense), she and Zuko set out for the day. Y/N asked Leya for a spare outfit and she obliged immediately, so once again she found herself in Earth Kingdom greens and browns. The soft linen was the nicest reprieve from the scratchy prison clothes she’d been stuck in, and she had to admit—it was nice being back in Earth Kingdom clothes. It was just as much a part of her as the North. 

The rest of the day was busy but fulfilling, working long into the night to make up for the damage from the battle. Most of their efforts were spent architecturally, helping to repair houses that had been damaged and to tear down the Fire Nation estates. 

It might have been property, but it was tainted beyond belief. South Zeizhou would never truly belong to her people again if any trace of the Fire Nation remained. 

Y/N and Zuko had split halfway through the day to help with separate things—for some reason, her people were trusting her with designing. She spent the entire rest of the day running around helping various people, sketching up ideas for buildings and statues and everything else under the sun. It turned out that, when you saved an entire village of an eight year hold, they were just a little grateful. 

(She denied the idea every time someone brought up building a statue of her. She was sure she heard Zuko go behind her back and tell them otherwise.)

She was kept so busy that she didn’t see Zuko again until that night, when she pushed open the door to Leya and Lao’s estate to see him sitting on the floor alone. 

“Zuko,” she said, still getting used to the lightness his name brought her. It was more comforting than anything. “What are you doing up?” 

“I should be asking you that,” he said with a slight smile, setting his bowl down. “You don’t have to work all night, you know.” 

“I lost track of time,” she said sheepishly. “What are you eating?” 

“Jook.” A faint blush tinted his cheeks as he gestured back towards the kitchen. “Leya and Lao turned in a few hours ago—they told me to tell you that you had free reign of their ingredients, but I didn’t want you to have to do it yourself after working so hard all day. So I made you something.” 

Her whole expression softened. “Zuko, that’s so sweet.” She crouched down and pecked him on the cheek, warmth blooming in her chest. “I didn’t even know you could cook, being a prince and all.” 

He chuckled. “Uncle taught me some things when we were in Ba Sing Se. I told him I didn’t need it, but I guess some of it stuck.” 

Y/N took his spoon and tried some of the jook in his bowl. Her eyebrows shot up. “That’s surprisingly good.” 

“Surprisingly?” he asked with mock disdain. “Why can’t it just be normally good?” 

“Because,” she said, “I’ve never tried your cooking before.” 

“That just settles it,” Zuko said. “When we’re back in the Fire Nation, I’ll ask the chefs to teach me some things. That way I can really impress you.” 

“You don’t need to impress me, Zuko,” she said, and she stood up and walked over. “Just spending time with you like this is more than enough. We’ve got a lot of it to make up.” 

He managed a soft laugh, but it was bittersweet. “Yeah. We do.” 

Y/N filled her own bowl with jook and then walked back over, settling down next to Zuko. She placed her hand over his, smiling softly at him. “Tell me about your day.” 

“It’s been… a lot,” he said. “I’ve helped tear down a lot of Fire Nation buildings. I melted a lot of metal.” He chuckled. “If only we brought Toph with us. Her metalbending would make things a lot easier.” 

She laughed. “She’d become the foreman of this place. She could probably redesign everything herself.” 

“What about you?” he asked. 

“I did a lot of healing,” she said. “Turns out that sending a lot of middle-aged men and women that haven’t fought in years into battle against trained soldiers results in a lot of injuries.” 

Zuko frowned. “Was it bad?” 

“Not as bad as it could have been,” Y/N said. “Mostly twists and sprains and artificial cuts. One man got his arm broken, and I have no idea why he didn’t ask for help last night.” She shook her head. “No matter what nation I’m in, men always think they have to act tough.” 

“I’m glad you’re able to help them,” Zuko said. “You know you’re amazing, right?” 

She playfully shoved him. “Stop it.” 

“Never.” He shrugged. “Like you said, I have a lot of time to make up for.” 

“I guess flattery’s a good place to start,” she said coyly. 

“It’s easier if you just accept it,” he said sagely, “because I’m not going to stop.” 

Y/N laughed and leaned against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her. “What was it like being back and seeing everyone? Did they all recognize you?” 

“Maybe not immediately, but everyone knew my name.” Y/N smiled. “People don’t really forget the only waterbenders in village history.” 

“Do you think this’ll ever be your home again?” Zuko asked.

“It’ll always be my home,” Y/N mused. “It’s where I was born, where I grew up. There’s a part of me in this village, and there always will be. But…” she sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know if I’ll ever live here again. I’ve been traveling all over with my friends for the past couple months, and it just feels like I’ve… outgrown it.”

“I understand,” Zuko said. “You’re different than the girl that grew up here. You’ve changed, and that’s not a bad thing.”

“I know. It just feels like betraying who I am.”

“A part of you is in this village,” Zuko said, “and a part of this village is in you. Just because you’re going somewhere else doesn’t mean you’re forgetting who you are.”

“When did you get so wise?” she asked, craning her neck to look up at him. 

“Years of traveling with my uncle,” he said, and she laughed. 

They spent the rest of the night idly chatting and finishing up their meal, and by the time they turned in, the village was completely dark. 

It was quiet as they settled into bed together, Zuko’s arms around her setting her at ease. She felt safe next to him. 

(Spirits, how she’d missed feeling safe.)

-

“Are you sure you have to leave so soon?” Leya questioned, her gaze watchful even as she stood in the kitchen.

“We have a war to end,” Y/N said, only slightly joking. “I’ll be back sooner than you know.” 

“You’re making us all so proud, Y/N.” Lao patted her on the shoulder, and then he pulled her into a hug. “People will tell stories of you centuries from now, I know it. You’ve made history.” 

“I’m just glad our people are finally free,” she said softly. 

“And you, son.” Lao pulled away and looked down at Zuko, respect in his eyes. “Your path hasn’t been easy, but you’ve made it here. You’re welcome in our corner of the Earth Kingdom anytime.” 

“I’m just doing what’s right,” Zuko said, but she could see the beginnings of his pleased smile. 

“And sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.” Leya came over with a large basket, smile beaming down on the two of them as she handed it to Y/N. “This should be enough for your journey back and to share with the rest of your group.”

Y/N frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Of course we are,” Lao said. “Without the Fire Nation leeching off of us, we’ve got plenty to spare.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said. “This means a lot.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Leya said, and she grasped Y/N’s hands. “Promise me that you’ll be careful.”

“We’ll try our best,” she vowed, and she glanced at Zuko with a smile. “I’ve got a lot of good people with me.”

“You,” Leya pointed at Zuko, tone motherly as ever, “make sure nothing happens to her.”

“That was already the plan,” he said with a chuckle.

“So,” Lao said wryly, “what’s the next thing I should expect from our heroes and the Avatar?” 

Y/N smiled inwardly. “Change is coming. That’s for sure.”

-

The ride back to camp was quiet, but different kind of quiet from before. Y/N and Zuko switched off on flying shifts, occasional conversation filling the gaps—more often than not, though, they just sat together. Her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, her fingers rifling through his hair. 

The fresh air invigorated Y/N. She felt like a whole new person, the dread and anger and heaviness she’d been carrying with her for months steadily dissolving.

Zuko’s constant presence was nice too.

Without her inner dread, supremely thick tension, and a week of sleep deprivation, she was actually able to enjoy the trip back home. It went quicker than the ride there, and she never thought she would be so thankful to see an island. 

Tiny specks in the distance turned into her friends the closer they got, and she and Zuko shared a smile. Y/N was going to have a lot of explaining to do. 

“You guys are finally back!” Sokka exclaimed once they were in hearing distance. “Where did you even go?” 

“You’ve got some nerve leaving like that without a word!” Katara yelled, but the moment Y/N slid off of Appa’s side she barreled over and pulled her into a hug. She knocked the air out of her completely, but Y/N laughed as she wrapped her arms around her in turn. 

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “It was something important.” 

“She’s been worried sick about you,” Toph spoke up. 

“So have you!” Aang piped in. “You were asking about it y—” 

Toph punched Aang on the shoulder, and he stopped. “What was that for?” 

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Toph said, cheeks flushing pink. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Sokka interrupted. “Where did you two even go?” 

Y/N let out a long deep breath, and Zuko nodded supportively when she glanced at him. “We… went back to my village. The other day was the anniversary of my father’s death, so I went to honor him.” 

“Oh, Y/N,” Katara murmured, and she pulled her back into a hug. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I thought it was something I had to do on my own,” Y/N said, pulling away after a grateful moment. “If I had my way, I would have. But Zuko pushed his way on.” 

“It’s not my fault you’re so stubborn,” Zuko said. “Besides, it was obviously the right move.” 

Sokka frowned. “You guys are being really nice to each other.” 

Aang’s eyes lit up. “Did you two have your life changing field trip?” 

It was Y/N’s turn to frown. “Life changing field trip?” 

“That’s what they’re calling it,” Toph explained. “All the trips that they’ve gone on with Zuko to be his friend or whatever. I still haven’t had one.” 

Zuko stared at her. “I woke up with rocks in my bed every day for a week.” 

“Yeah, but we didn’t go anywhere,” she grumbled at the ground. 

Y/N chuckled, though her expression sobered. “I thought I was just going to remember my father, but it turned out that the Fire Nation was still occupying my village. So Zuko and I pushed them out.” 

Katara’s eyebrows shot up. “Just like that?” 

“It wasn’t that easy—” Zuko said, but he was interrupted when Sokka patted—or rather hit—him on the back. 

“Nice going, buddy! That’s how you get your girl back.” 

He glared daggers at Sokka but Y/N just laughed. “It took a lot of fighting and some haphazard plans, but… yeah. We took my village back. My people are free, and I got to see my father’s grave.” 

Katara’s entire expression softened. “I’m so happy for you, Y/N. That’s— that’s amazing. And… is it back?” 

Y/N nodded with a smile, and she formed a ball of water out of the air. “My bending is officially back.” 

Katara screamed and she nearly tackled Y/N with another hug. “Thank the spirits! I knew you could do it!”  

“Life changing field trip always works,” Aang mused. 

“Well, whatever you did, it worked,” Toph said. “I’m happy I don’t have to see the two of you mope around all the time anymore.” 

Zuko frowned. “You can’t see.” 

“Trust me,” Toph muttered, “some things transcend sight.”

Y/N smiled, and she took Zuko’s hand, tears welling in her eyes. “I really missed you guys.” 

-

Later, once they’d unpacked all their things from Appa and properly decompressed, Y/N found herself sitting on her own by the cliffside once again. This time, though, she wasn’t trying to hide her mourning from her friends or foster the burning inside of her chest. Instead, she played with an orb of water in the air, a small smile on her lips at the effortlessness of it all. Not only were they surrounded by water on all sides, but the Fire Nation’s climate meant there would always be moisture in the air. 

Oh, how she’d missed her bending. 

She didn’t flinch when she heard footsteps behind her, able to see the reflection in her orb—instead, she flicked her hand and shot the water back at her visitor. 

“Hey!” Zuko complained, sputtering as it struck him in the face. “What was that for?” 

She giggled as she turned her head. “I had to make sure you remember who you’re dealing with.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, grimacing a bit as he wiped water droplets off his face, “my girlfriend is super powerful and can take down anyone. That doesn’t mean you have to take me down.” 

“Oh, you’re so dramatic.” Y/N smiled as she stood up and flexed her fingers, drawing all the water out of his clothes. “It was barely anything.” 

“This time,” Zuko said, and he gestured around them with a wry smile. “We’ve got a whole ocean around us.” 

“I’m not that powerful,” she said. 

“Maybe,” Zuko said, “but I don’t trust you and Katara together.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” She chuckled as she took his hand. “What’d you come over here for?” 

“You’re not allowed to mope around by yourself anymore,” Zuko said. “We’re having a campfire and digging into some of the food Leya gave us.” 

“I’m not moping,” she complained. 

“Not anymore,” Zuko clarified, and he chuckled at her expression. “Still. You have to join us.” 

“Of course,” Y/N said, and they started walking over together. “I’m excited for some actual food after the past few months.” 

Zuko frowned. “I made you jook last night. That was perfectly good food.” 

“You know what I mean,” she groaned. “Yes, it was perfectly good food. I’m just excited for more of Lao’s xiaolongbao. That man makes miracles in the kitchen.” 

“I’ll have to get him to give me the recipe next time we visit,” Zuko mused. 

She looked at him, slightly surprised. “You want to go back?” 

“Of course,” he said. “It’s the place you’re from. And besides,” he shrugged, slightly bolstered, “I am one of the saviors of the village.” 

She laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“Of course.”

-

“It’s about time you guys got here,” Toph grumbled. “Katara won’t let any of us eat.” 

“They’re here now,” she said, “you can—” 

Katara didn’t even get to finish her sentence before Toph started digging in, and she just shook her head with a sigh. 

“We’re glad that you’re here,” she offered with a slight smile. 

“Katara’s mostly glad that you’re back,” Sokka said, his mouth full of food earning him a glare from his sister. “I think you two have separation anxiety or something.” 

“Can you blame me?” Katara defended. “You were gone for weeks and we had no idea what happened to you. You can’t just up and disappear with Zuko.” 

“To be fair, you tried to do the same thing,” Sokka said. 

“To be fair, you thought Y/N was going to kill Zuko,” Katara shot back. 

Zuko’s eyes widened slightly. “Uh, no. We never went that far.” 

Not with him at least, Y/N thought with the smallest bit of guilt. Not for what she did, but for keeping it from her friends. That was a whole other problem she had to deal with, and definitely not tonight. 

(Maybe not ever.) 

“Let’s talk about something else,” Y/N said, and Zuko put his arm around her, pulling her close. She couldn’t help but smile. “What have you guys been up to while we’ve been gone?” 

“It was only three days,” Sokka said. “We didn’t get up to that much.” But he wouldn’t stop staring at them, and Zuko frowned. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “I just realized I’ve never been around you two when you actually liked each other.” 

Zuko’s cheeks flushed bright pink as Y/N laughed. “You really haven’t, huh?” 

“Why did you have to say that?” Toph groaned. “Now they’re going to be extra gross.” 

“What, you mean like this?” Zuko pulled Y/N into a kiss, but she didn’t even get the chance to enjoy it before something hit the two of them. 

Y/N pulled away and picked it up, scowling at Sokka. “Is this your shoe?” 

“There are children here!” he complained. “You two really are gross.” 

“I think it’s sweet,” Katara said, and she hit Sokka on the shoulder. “Leave them alone.” 

“I’m just trying to protect the sanctity of this place!” he exclaimed. 

“I’m on Sokka’s side,” Toph piped in.

 As the group devolved into accusations and conversation with occasional pauses for food, she leaned into Zuko’s side and sighed contentedly. 

This was the life she’d been chasing so long. All they had to do was end the war. 

And after everything she’d been through, that seemed like the easiest part of the journey. 

-

Things cooled down after a while, and they began to go their separate ways. Sokka and Suki went off together, Aang went to meditate and clear his mind, and Toph went off to do spirits knows what. Y/N was close to nodding off against Zuko’s side—she was sure he already had himself—when she heard Katara’s voice. 

“Hey,” she said, gesturing away from the fire with her head, “can I have you for a second?” 

Y/N nodded, yawning as she tried to blink the grogginess out of her vision, and the two of them walked over. “What’s up?” 

“This is something I’ve been wanting to give to you for a while, but it hasn’t been the right moment.” Katara grinned. “But it is now.” 

She pulled something out from behind her back, and when she presented it Y/N realized it was a water skin, almost identical to the one she’d given her months ago in Gaoling. 

“Both of ours were taken away at Ba Sing Se, but I was able to get a couple new ones from some of the Water Tribe soldiers when we ran into them. And now that you’ve got your bending back…”

Katara trailed off as she offered it up again, but instead Y/N crushed her in a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” she said, unable to hold back her own smile. “For thinking of me even then.”

“Always,” Katara said, returning the gesture with just as much intensity. When she pulled away, her eyes shone.

“It’s good to see you like this,” she said softly. “Happier. Lighter. You look better than you have in months.” 

“I feel better,” Y/N admitted. “I know that I needed to forgive Zuko, and maybe it was the spirits’ plan to make the road so treacherous. But it feels so good to have him again.” 

“It feels good to not have you two arguing all the time,” she said wryly. 

Y/N chuckled. “Just imagine how I feel.” 

“What do you think is next for you two?” Katara asked. “After the war is over, I mean.”

“I haven’t really thought that far in the future,” she admitted. “After everything, I’m just trying to live in the moment.” 

“I think that’s a perfect idea.” 

Y/N smiled. “So do I.” 

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator @louderfortheback

atla tags: @marianne1806 @brown-eyed-thang @akiris

ehfar tags: @chandies-sideblog @zacatecanaaaa @anzanity @randomthingssssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy @whats-my-question @selfship-mishaps @ilistentotayswifttocope @i-make-questionable-choices @3leni @thatobsessedreader @lostgreekgod @oriontingz @zerode-unhinged @badpvn @mimi-sanisanidiot @adhdhufflepuff @aquaamethyst96 @hollyismentallyillhelp @holypoetrygarden @islandgayneery @pitrii-petra @jinxed-jk @veras-fanfic-reblogs @cloud-9ine @lucifersidepiece @kiskzawagnerwhore @froggi-00 @eajalova @mrsyixingunicorn10 @xxxxxxdelenaxxxxxx @cafesho @the-natureofme @whoevenfrickinknows @a-bit-late @zukowantshishonourback @settlebackeasy @jemssafespace @wildwallflower24

[ifyougoillfollow]

Fic Writer Interview

Oooh, this looks fun! Thanks @plusultraetc for tagging me!

-- How many works do you have on AO3?

16. Huh. Didn’t think it was that many tbh. Yay me? :D

-- What's your total AO3 word count?

97,793! Almost 100k! Yipee!

Fun Fact: Before my latest fic, it was at a nice, very satisfying 88,888. I’d like to say that’s why it took me over a year to upload another fic, but well. I’d be lying lolol.

-- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a definite sign of what we will be (someday)

be my fictional obsession (my newest daydream)

you know i make you wanna scream

like sugar and cyanide

like heaving through corrupted lungs (‼)

(^ Didn’t think she’d make the cut! Proud of her!!)

-- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments!! It’s a wonderful excuse to ramble about my writing and share my thoughts about my beloved blorbos with like-minded souls. Unfortunately, I am. Shy. I’m usually good at responding when a fic first drops because the sheer adrenaline/euphoria of finally posting something propels me out of my shell, but once that wears out. Help.

I do read and cherish every single comment I receive tho - and I’m very lucky to receive such thoughtful comments, too! Just know that if you’ve ever commented on any of my fic – ily <33

-- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Uh. All of them? Aldkjfskfj okay, that’s a lie, but tbh it’d be easier to point at the ones that don’t have kinda bummer endings. I love me some angst. :3

The title for Angstiest def has to go to ‘friend make sense of me’ tho. Yowch.

-- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh, ‘be my fictional obsession’ for sure. Although ‘strawberry soju' is a strong contender, ultimately ‘bmfo’ is simply Sillier, so she takes the crown. :3

-- Do you write crossovers?

Not really! Though I have toyed around with writing AUs in other settings, the most recent of which is a BBC Merlin AU, which, let me tell you, has been tons of fun, even if I’ll probably never get around to finishing it lol.

-- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I was about to say no because everyone has always been so lovely to me, but then I remembered that one person who bookmarked ‘like sugar and cyanide’ only to call it ‘lame’ for being self-indulgent and not ending with EraserMic getting together. Which was kinda funny ngl, because, like, my guy. The Unresolved Romantic Tension is right there in the tags, and also I repeatedly dunk on myself for being self-indulgent in just about every chapter note, so like, move along, sister, this is not the fic you’re looking for lmaoo.

-- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! Love me some innuendo and crass humor, but the most I ever see myself doing is a fade to black or maybe some vague allusion to the act (← see, I just did it), because it is simply not my cup of tea.

-- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I’d be open to it for sure!

-- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Another no, though I’m not sure I’d be a good fit for it tbh. I’m a bit precious about my writing process. 😅

-- What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is a Question. I mean, I have to say EraserMic given how much of my (fan) life it has consumed these past years, even if I do have some complicated, and at times contentious, thoughts and feelings about it.

QPR MicNight is right up there, though! I have just as complex and much less contentious feelings about QPR MicNight, my beloved. <3

I have so many QPR MicNight WIPs, you guys. One of these days, I’ll even finish one. orz

-- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

CRIES. ALL OF THEM.

Okay, non-dramatic answer is ‘as the mists roll in at midnight,’ which is a WIP I started and finished outlining back in 2021 (it even got a title!) and then never got past the second chapter.

It’s a sort of house horror AU, featuring EraserMic, QPR MicNight, unexplained happenings in the woods, and a haunted inn that just wants to keep you safe. I love it so so much that I kind of got overwhelmed by my love for it, and thus my need for it to be perfect, and now I fear I shall never get back to it. </3

The same is true for so many of my WIPs, if I’m being honest. Shout out to Midnight Time Loop AU, ‘a song for a song,’ and ‘you know i make you wanna scream,’ the latter of which is the reason I no longer post multi-chap WIPs. rip.

-- What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and narrative voice. I get so many niceys comments on both, especially my narrative voice for Mic, which makes my heart do a happy dance every time. :)

-- What are your writing weaknesses?

Establishing and describing setting, unfortunately. The struggle to not end up with characters talking and introspecting in The Void all the time is real. OTL

Also there's the more technical stuff like my abuse of adverbs, em-dashes, and run-on sentences, as well as my point-blank refusal to kill my darlings at times, but I like to chalk all that up to Style, Vibes, and This Hobby is Supposed to Be Fun, Damnit, so we don't count any of that. :3

-- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

No strong thoughts in particular, just the usual 'as long as it's done well' caveat. Though I do like when honorifics and such are sprinkled in here and there, hence why I tend to do so in my fic. I find it serves as a helpful reminder that these characters are Japanese, and thus hopefully helps to stave off some of that dreaded, inevitable Americanization of everything.

-- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BNHA, which, let me tell you, came as a surprise not just to me, but also to anyone who knows me irl. I was famously Not Very Much Into Anime for most of my life. Go figure.

-- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

BBC Merlin!

I watched (and was obsessed with) the show way back when, but have only recently gotten into the fandom, and good GOD has it been a struggle to not hop right in to writing fic for it, especially for Gwen/Morgana, my beloved toxic yuri queens. Only reason I haven’t is because I’m loathe to add to my already heaping WIP pile.

-- What's your favorite fic you've written?

Oof, this is a hard one.

‘strawberry soju’ has my heart right now because it felt like such a different undertaking than most of my previous work (it’s a 9k, non-linear, Aizawa POV one-shot! There’s actual kissing in it!) and also because I learned a lot while working on it. I didn’t have a real outline when I started writing, only a premise, one or two strong images of interactions I wanted to include, and several themes I wanted to touch on. It was a struggle working with such bare bones at times, but I'm glad I kept at it, because I'm proud of how much of the core themes and concepts came through in the final result.

However. If I’m being honest, my real answer to this question is the fic I wrote for Something Just Like This, an EraserMic zine I contributed to that is currently in production. I wrote that fic back in February, and it’s been absolute hell not being able to share it this whole time because I’m just so goddamn proud of it!! I won’t say anything else because I could go on forever about it and I’m contractually obligated to not spill the beans, but GOD I can’t wait for you all to read it. 🥺

-

Okay, that's enough yapping for now, but this was so much fun!! Thanks again for tagging me! <3

As for me, I'll tag @scream-mans-friend (no pressure!!) and anyone else who wants to take a crack at this. c:

[according2thelore]

thank you so much for the tag in that post!!! i immediately forgot every fact about myself unfortunately BUT i have two follow up qs for y'all.........

MERLIN! i am also obsessed with merlin and btw if you have a merlin account you are OBLIGATED BY LAW to tell me. constitutional amendment from the obama era. i think the merlin <--> supernatural pathway is all about duty by the way. and also gay sex.

also charlotte consider this ask your one drink please 🍷 and DO TELL!

haha, that's so fair! we love follow-up qs!

lizzy:

uh-oh! by law you say?? i'm sweatin'...i also love merlin! so much! i cannot shut up about it, and i have written/continue to write for merlin under a different account...but i fear i might have to break the law on this one. and it's strictly for the reason that i have Very Normal friends not familiar with fandom that follow my writing/keep up with my other ao3 and if they find out i shake the boys from spn between my teeth like a dog, i would have some massive explaining to do. obama's gonna come break my door down 😔 i am kissing you passionately in apology! but i think folks like my merlin work pretty okay! my biggest merlin fic is around 100k hits, which blows my mind with violence each day lol

you get it!!! you get it so hard!!!!!! what drives me crazy about merlin and spn is the inevitability of it all. they are soulmates, and they are fated to be joined, but at what cost? literally what cost? they are opposed forces, hunter and hunted, but a bond of love and forgiveness and belonging that keep them tethered beyond separation. it's the continuous loss and torture and fear and not leaving! they don't want to leave! their lives would be easier if they didn't love each other, but they can't stop. and they HAVE SEX! one of the things that sticks in my brain so hard about merlin specifically is the lengths that merlin goes to protect/save uther for arthur's sake. like that level of devotion, even at the betrayal of self, is BARK INDUCING!!! i could write forever and ever amen about merlin, so if i don't stop now, this entire post will just be me yapping and yapping.

charlotte:

oh my god WELL a few moments stand out from that day. first, lizzy and I were THE ONLY ONES TO DRESS UP after lizzy explained that people dressed up at cons (this was my first con ever—baby’s first!). Also me when I lie lol there were a couple sexy castiels but I digress. (lizzy note: there was also a billie and death cosplayer that blew my fucking mind my beloved <3)

second, literally everyone at our con had already met the boys. like. a girl pulled out a BINDER with like 4 m&g photos per page and just kept flipping through it. so while we were nervous wrecks all day, everyone was mysteriously so…chill?? like we picked up food on the way there and barely ate any of it since we were making ourselves ill.

waiting in line?? girl embarrassing you wouldn’t have wanted to see us because we were HYPERVENTILATING. as soon as we cleared the doorway and saw jared, he made eye contact with us and kept glancing over the line to check when we were coming up (because of our slay niche fits) and as soon as we did, he said the episode BY NAME and told us we did a great job. (lizzy note: he was very excited and also his hand is as big is my waist i blacked out the whole thing if i didn’t have a pic i wouldn’t think it happened)

that man’s chest and arms. gigantic. bigger than my head. he was as solid as a piece of marble. we were like what the fuck. took our picture and NO JOKE we had to sit down on the floor in the hallway. we called lizzy’s mom. we bragged to the barista in the convention center, who was also very excited. we vomited and threw up because misha was next but in character and costume and let me just say

that man’s hands were FRIGID.

I’ll say it!! (looking at you lizzy who doesn’t remember it smh.) his m&g was slay ish because he was just smoldering and barely said anything (LMAO our man was tired and they were running 2 hrs behind). but! hilarious. I have both of the pictures hanging in identical frames next to each other in my first grown up apartment and it looks like the same photo at a first glance. it is the second most expensive thing on my wall (my diploma taking first 🤧).

and that…that was a glorious day. we’re trying to go again since jensen was sold out so we can complete the trifecta 🫶

-charlotte (& lizzy! hello! 2-for-1!)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SHINAH SO REAL bring my man back….

I’m ngl I fully forgot Lorenzo existed errrrr but yeah there’s the purple eye rep..!! Wait you know what kinda confuses me is Nanase’s aura….his name means rainbow so I was assuming it’d be rainbow but it’s some sort of blueish white? Maybe it’s a reference to how when all the colors come together they make white but anyways….considering his name they could’ve made his eye color a little more interesting but whatever I guess

I’ll be waiting LMAO just thinking of the ideas makes me want more beach day esque side quest shenanigans between the characters!!

Hoping this last match helps boost their rankings a lot because just looking at it right now the rankings do NOT seem accurate LOL

FIC INFLATION REAL my perception of length has been so thrown off these past months

LMAOOO imagine 60k kiyora fic /j quite literally would be carrying the entire tag on your blog HAHA

Imagine you did convert to gagamaruism though that would lowk be really funny

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED omg…ok but I get it some edits are fire and are way too good at converting….lowk I think a tabieita edit was what pushed me into tabieitaism….it’s ok you got cleansed by other edits you’re in the clear for now o7 ok but wait drop the edits?? If you still have them saved LOL

FRRR WAIT STOP THE OTOYA IDEA IS FIRE??? Otoya getting trained into a gentleman and y/n becoming a heartbreaker bitch LOLL Its funny because we keep discussing ideas for people being wingmen for other characters LMAOOO atp it should just be the wingmen series

Also BAROUUUUUUU>>>>>> ok his little moments where he’s eating or has his hair down doing some sort of wind down/cool down routine>>>> if u20 Barou doesn’t get a glow up the Ubers match one fs will….but manifesting s2 glow up for Barou!!!

- Karasu anon

shinah…hak…kija…bring my boyfriends back to me 😭 honestly the author of yona of the dawn ATE w the character designs!! like even though all of the dragons were a certain color they still felt interesting?? maybe it’s the eyes like kija + zeno i think having the blue, shinah’s being absolutely gorgeous, and jaeha’s being purple iirc

LMAOAAO lorenzo is always in the back of my mind bro is such a phenomenon…for some reason i pictured him having brown hair and brownish reddish eyes?? and i haven’t seen many colorings of him so ig i never realized he has my fav color palette 😓 maybe it’s time for me to convert to loreonzoism /j also i didn’t know that abt nanase!! that’s def annoying that they made him knockoff isagi when there was the potential for smth cool 😭

hopefully after the nel arc we will get more downtime and fun ☝🏻 and next req should be up shortly!! like within the next three hours i think 😏

i’ve done it to myself too tbh 😭 consistently writing 100-200k word fics has made me view anything less than 100k as short…like unless it breaks 100k i won’t even consider it a true long fic!! i need to write smth that massive for bllk though 😵‍💫 hollyhock might make it but that one will be slow going because it’s a lot of external work to write 😩 peregrine i don’t think is going to be that long though 😓 i think if i do undertake a rlly long fic like that it’ll have to be for one of my absolute favs (so nagi karasu barou) or else i won’t have the motivation to finish it

HAHAHAA bfb kiyora’s version fr except he doesn’t have any sisters…i’m trying to think of what trope i want for him 🤔 i have some vague ideas but we’ll see what sticks!! i’m actually more worried abt karasu FJDKKS i’ve written sm for him that coming up with something different might be a struggle…what if i pick zantetsu for that req instead /hj

YUP IT WAS HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED!! although technically reo mikage would’ve fit in the censor too LMAOAOA but yk i’d never censor reo…only an itoshi bro could get that reaction from me 😫 and yes i saved all of the ones that cleansed me hold on i’ll post them here

barou edit

otoya + aiku edit

nagi edit 1 and nagi edit 2

third nagi edit that i just thought was really funny

not the edit i was referring to in that post because i didn’t save that BUT the edit of rin that made me post abt bllk on tumblr for the first time and get convinced to watch it by my mutual

the amt of saved edits i have is crazy 😭 mostly karasu and nagi ones but there’s more than a few otoya reo and barou ones in there 🤩 plus a couple of sae and rin ones that i couldn’t help but save

THE OTOYA IDEA HAS ME CACKLING especially if i do like a split perspective thing with it?? omg i’m just envision a line like “you had a crush on eita otoya, which meant you had to go to the one man on campus even worse than him: oliver aiku” and it’s all dramatic for the reader meanwhile aiku thinks it’s SOO funny that someone like her likes OTOYA (and conversely karasu and yukimiya think otoya is trying to be a gentleman to manipulate the reader better so they’re like “fuck no we’re not helping” but then they realize he’s serious so they lock in and do their best to help him)

barou…barou…barou…i think my 50 reblogs of my own post sum up my thoughts atm very well 😭 omg wait is BAROU my third rewatch man 🤔⁉️ that’s crazy if so but lowkey no complaints 🤤 the best part abt liking nagi and barou is i KNOW they’re not going anywhere for a while because they’re two of isagi’s main rivals + episode nagi is literally right there 🤩 so lots and lots of content coming for them (although lowkey epinagi artist does barou dirty at some points i fear…rn their hard work is going solely into nagi and karasu though so i get it)

[sitp-recs]

FINALLY read heal thyself as per your recommendation (it's been in my marked for later for months yet somehow I kept forgetting?) and it's just as amazing and beautiful as everyone said, cant believe I haven't read it sooner. There's no real purpose for this ask I just feel the need to gush about it with someone who I know understands😭❤️ but her draco is perfect, his characterization, redemption arc, it's everything I never knew I needed. Reading about his struggle and determination to be good—and finally being able to celebrate the rewards of his hard work was so touching? to witness... I literally had to take breaks because of how much this fic made me feel. Going to spend the rest of the night drowning in astolats fics

Ahh anon your ask got me emo all over again, I love this fic so so much and I’m so pleased that you also felt transformed by it! Sharing this feeling of awe and mutual understanding about a fic with another reader is something really special. HT is hands down the best Draco arc I’ve read in years, which is not surprising if we consider not only Astolat’s talent but also the fact that this fic is 100% Draco-centric and for the most part of it there’s no Harry or romance to distract from his individual journey.

I love how you described his redemption path, the fact that for once he got to make a choice about his own life, then reaped the fruits of his hard work (and how brilliant is that he decides to pursue Healing out of pride and spite? So on brand 😂). I think you chose a perfect word to describe our experience “to witness…” that’s exactly how it felt, a privilege to watch him getting the nuance and character development he deserved. I appreciate that Astolat took the time to explore his arc over the span of a few years, it made his success and happy ending even more powerful and satisfying! I can’t think of a better way to spend the night than reading the rest of her catalogue, you’re in for a treat!

Lol okay you gave me an impossible mission there, I gotta say similar characterizations are very hard to find outside of Astolat’s work, her Draco is very peculiar after all. And I feel like HT is unparalleled way beyond his characterization. I’ve been in the fandom for two decades and have never read anything like it before or since. So leaving any comparison efforts aside I’ll suggest these, which have some of my favorite Draco arcs:

The Compact by astolat (E, 64k)

Hermione frowned. “The real question is why the magic of Britain would be failing now, in fact.”

A Young Radical's Guide to Love by blamebrampton (T, 66k)

Memories of the war are still fresh, which is all the excuse Decent People need to do appalling things. In this quietly waged conflict, Draco Malfoy is happy to be on the right side of things for once, and even happier to find he’s not alone.

Who we are in the shadows by quicksilvermaid (E, 100k)

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life.

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 104k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (M, 131k)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

And some short fics you might enjoy as well:

And Save Me From Bloody Men by blamebrampton (T, 10k)

Draco Malfoy once watched others fighting to stop the world falling apart. This time, he's not just watching.

Rebuilding Draco Malfoy by khasael (E, 11k)

Draco wants to do something to get his life back on track, but no-one seems to be taking him seriously – until he finds himself in an Auror training session led by Harry Potter.

The Loathly Worm by Selden (E, 12k)

When Draco Malfoy is forced to go undercover among the remaining Death Eaters in the aftermath of the war, the last person he expects to find there is Harry Potter.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Vortex by xanthippe74 (T, 20k)

Who would want a soulmate who was a schoolyard bully, a Death Eater, and a convicted felon? Certainly not Harry Potter. And Draco is determined to take this secret to the grave.

Slithering by astolat (E, 27k)

Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.

[onlythebrave-mp3]

my top 2020 fics!

okay! so i recently jumped back into this fandom after a couple of years, and started reading fic again, and i wanted to rec some of my favorites that were written this year. there’s ten on this list, and i probably could’ve done like 30 but this is already so long lol. it’s kind of in a general order, so #1 is my fav for this year, but i tried not to focus on the ranking too much because it stresses me out and i don’t need any more anxiety so it’s ended up being a pretty vague system.

1.  Our Lives, Non-Fiction (113k) by @indiaalphawhiskey 

listen. I’ve reblogged this fic like 10 times. I’ve read it twice already and it came out less than 3 weeks ago. It is an instant classic, right up there with fics like TIF or Wear it like a Crown. It has gorgeous, gorgeous writing, a thoroughly developed plot and well written character development, and such a compelling story. It is a marcel/louis fic, and I usually shy away from that kind of thing, but i’m so glad i didn’t this time because god, this one is so good. Seriously, if anyone ends up reading it, come and rant to me about it and we can cry together. Halfway through the second chapter, I created a note on my phone so I could keep track of everything I loved, and my comment on that fic is essentially a love letter to @indiaalphawhiskey. It's just so good. If you’re going to read one fic off this list, read this one. 

2. Loving You's a Bloodsport (106k) by @rosesau

okay i’m pretty sure this one made me cry like four times, which is a feat for me because i’m not usually a crier. Its soulmates with a little bit of a twist, and the plot is so well developed. Harry and louis’ feelings and their progression are written so vividly and i wish i could forget that i read it so i could go and read it again for the first time. It's also got some enemies to lovers, which is my favorite trope, and all of the side characters are beautifully developed as well. Prince!Harry, soldier!Louis, angsty soulmates. What more could you want? Oh and if you’re not convinced enough, here is a quote that fucking follows me around because its so beautiful: “Love and hate are two sharp knives balanced on a very fine line and I’ve cut myself on both because of you.” (ohmygod)

3. Mine Would Be You (114k) by @crinkle-eyed-boo

okay this one is listed at number three but it really should be 1c lol. I started this one at 11 pm like an idiot, and i don’t think i slept that night at all. It's Exes to lovers, and it's so well written. It switches between the past and the present, it's  heartbreakingly beautiful, the breakup and resolution are both so realistically written as well, and there's a great ot5 plotline too that i really loved. This one was also an instant classic- i bookmarked it before i even finished reading it. It's also got beautiful art and Louis and Harry are both artists in NYC, which I'm a slut for. Please read this one, it's so good.

okay i just realized how long this got so i’m putting the rest under the cut

4. The Murmur of Yearning (93k) by @mediawhorefics (for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me tag them??) | mediawhore on ao3 

I just finished this one, and my goddddddd it's so good. I read it in a day, and it's essentially 100k. Which isn’t that unusual for me except I did skip a class to get through it (an exam prep class. Not my finest moment but I passed. so.) There are tons of original characters that draw you in, and the whole world that is created is so fascinating and detailed. There's also no homophobia, so if you like historical fics but get triggered by that kind of thing, this is for you! Also, if you’re worried about the non-con elements, I'm sure you could message the author but also feel free to check in with me! I’ll definitely be rereading it in the near future and am totally up for discussing and crying over this fic with anyone.

5. Remember Me Fondly by @bluejeanlouis | kiddle on ao3 

ahhhhhhh this one made me sob too! It's set in both the present and the past, and I fell in love with all of the characters. This one is also heartbreaking, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Also, they way this fic deals with the fame and the homophobia and tours that harry and louis went through -even if it isn’t actually canon and is set in the 90s- is so vividly painful and realistic. It's written half through a journalist’s eyes and half through harry and louis, yet the switch in pov is so seamless and fluid and adds so much to the piece. 11/10.

6. Nothing But You On My Mind (83k) by @absoloutenonsense | nonsensedarling on ao3

okay. I started this in the middle of the night, and told myself I'd read one chapter to see if I liked it and then I would go to sleep. I'm pretty sure I read like 6. It sucks you in right from the beginning, and there's such a well developed plot. And it's so unpredictable and all of the details are so nuanced and tiny and then you look back at everything after you’ve finished it and go oh. Ohhhhhh. This one is also enemies to lovers. Are we sensing a pattern here?

7. An Invincible Summer (44k) by @twopoppies | Brooklyn_Babylon on ao3 

so as you can see this one is only 45k but i just love it so much that i’m rec’ing in anyways. It’s such a gentle, exploratory piece of literal art, and I kind of want to stay in the world that was created forever. Its set in the 1940s on a farm and i know @twopoppies has said that it started off as an excuse for barn sex, but it such a vivid story and its heartbreaking and emotional and uplifting all at once and please please please go read this. The only critique I have of it is that it's only 40k.

8. Somewhere in Between Lightning (99k) by @nauticalleeds, @shiningdistraction, and jassy117 on ao3

So this one's exes-to-lovers as well, and it's written in such a realistic way. Also i’m in love with the concept of louis on love island, despite the fact that he said he hates it. There's a sauna scene that I still think about sometimes. It's got just the right amount of angst and fluff and pining and despite the fact that it's set on a show that is usually pretty dramatic and unrealistic, this is written in a really beautiful but pragmatic way. I love it. i’ve got it  downloaded on my phone so I can read little snippets of it sometimes if I have to wait somewhere.

9. You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) (95k) by @harryrainbows | lucythegoosey on ao3 

god so this one incorporates some of Fine Line into it, and wouldn’t say it's a song fic so much as it is written as a canon compliant fic that ties harry’s songs into it and its done so fucking well oh my god. Harry and Louis are exes in this one too (lol i'm sorry) and the build up of them getting together and the pining and longing is written really well.

10. At Risk, I Fold (15k) by @bearmustard | clare328 on ao3 

so i know this one is only 15k, but I put this in the list anyways. It's canon compliant, and it does mention the stunts (as stunts), but don’t let that deter you. Harry and Louis are written almost exactly as i’ve imagined them, and this one is such a heartbreaking look into the resilience and love and bravery that they have. It made me cry despite the fact that it’s not really a glum fic. The only reason it is last on the list is because it's shorter and i was mostly intending this to be a long fic rec. The love that they have for each other really shines through in this one, and it’s super gentle and soft and sad and happy all at once and just please go read it.

[washymylifeaway]

Hellllo! I’m back with another request;)) Would love a rec list for long fics or series fics!! Thanks:) (no worries if you have too much in your WIPs!)

Haikyuu fanfic recs but they’re long fics/long series :D

Hi anon! It’s alright, keep sending in the asks cause I like doing them more than the WIPs I have planned LOL. I tend not to read fics that are super long because it’s hard for me to get myself to start them (AHAHAH again, lackin’ the motivation all day err day), so this is gonna be missing some real popular ones :’). That being said, I’m considering long to be like 100k up? And for series, it’ll be at a total word count of the 100k up (rip to MOST of my faves ajkbfajskldbf). I also included a lot from my past posts cause I’ve recommended most of the longer fics I’ve read cause they’re SO good (oops) :( I also wasn’t sure if you meant like long series or just series in general, so I just did the long ones LOL. I hope you enjoy them!

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3 (take breaks and drink water since you’re gonna be here for a while LOL)

CP:

Breaking the Rules by SuggestiveScribe (series) 205.3k // I LOVE THIS SERIES AHHHHHHHHH. Honestly I know the 205.3k word count is SCARY I UNDERSTAND BUT it is SO worth it. This series has a bunch of different ships (and a really cute ending stan AsaNoya) so I highly recommend it! Also if you don't mind smut (cause it is explicit for a reason LOL) then please I beg of you to read the whole series!!!!!!! I love love love this one and it really got me invested in the whole fanfic thing LOL.

love me like you do by crossbelladonna (T) 100.5k /IwaOi/ this fic was SUCH a rollercoaster omg. First, the concept itself was great and the execution was flawless and Ushiwaka was ajfnlajsdnf. AND THE ENDING!!!! THE ending omg. And Lev being a car made me laugh LMFAO. And we love f ups AHHHHH. If this made no sense, you’re right,,, it didn’t,,, so you should go read it so it does HAHAHA. (glad it made the 100k min, whew)

hq detective AUs by valiantarmor (series) 151.6k /BokuAka, KuroKen, IwaOi/ Man do I really love fighting in my fics LOL. This was super good and the plot itself kept me really engaged (what a twist omg). It does talk a bit about mental health issues, but it’s done so well, and they really did this AU justice! The three fics can be read separately BUT they’re all done so well, I think you should read them all :)

Terminal Curiosity by favspacetwink, moonlumie (series) 112.1k /SakuAtsu/ CHECK WARINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES!!! this is one of the BEST series I’ve read for this ship and even though I tend not to read WIP, IT’S WORTH IT! Please read ALL the tags before going into any of the fics in this series because there’s some real spicy stuff that may not be your cup of tea!

The Sky and Guilt Are the Only Feelings I Have Left by oopsthisisqueertoo (NR) 267.7k /BokuAkaKuroo/ ngl I picked it up as a rec from someone else after misreading that it was THIS long haha. But like I kept reading, and the suspense omg. It HAS a happy ending, so if you’re reading it and you start to feel empty, push through (tho take breaks) and finish because it DOES end HAPPY. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

Crumbling Foundations by Captain_Hughes_ZU, ToshiChan (T) 106.3k /MULTI/ I was debating whether or not to put this fic cause it actually doesn’t even have the angst tag (which I personally think it should). Honestly, it’s more a trauma fic than an angst fic idk I just wanted to put it somewhere because it’s written super well and although it was technically a ‘happy ending’ the interviews after prove else. Despite only being rated T, it’s got some intense TW so (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

New:

Superposition by todxrxki (M) 102.8k /KuroKen/ honestly, I think this was THE very first fic I’d ever read in general and it’s SO good. Like I really loved the plot and it’s such an interesting story! I also loved how Kuroo goes through a couple different bands and we see multiple relationships as well :D It’s a really fun read.

Ironically, I always say don’t be afraid of the high word count, yet I don’t start fics cause high word count LMFAO. I don’t have any new ones cause I’ve already recommended most if not all of the longest fics I’ve read, so below will be some that are in my to-be-read list cause the plot looks interesting but I have yet to find the motivation to read them LOL :’))))

bbacverse by skittidyne (series of two fics LOL) 894.5k // yeaaaaa you can see why I’m putting it off LOL. But the summary looks interesting and I’ve heard really good things about it SO I do want to read it, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet...

iwfyitd verse by knightswatch, shions_heart (series) 252.7k // I’ve been meaning to read this fic for the longest time, but then when I was about to read it, I got distracted with another ship (AHAHAHA OOPS)..... But yea, once I get back into KuroKen, I’ll prolly read it right?

omam verse by shions_heart (series) 239.3k // another KuroKen where I was like I will read, but then I got distracted LOL. And then I wanted to read it so I could read the other ships in the series, but it never happened :’)

Covered in the Colors by catholicorprotestant (E) 145.3k /MatsuHana/ I love matsuhana which is why I want to read this and the plot looked interesting!

Side A by Chibs (series) 241.9k // I like YakuLev (though I haven’t read a lot of it) and KyouHaba so yea but also the plot looked interesting LOL.

But yea, those are just a COUPLE of the ones I haven’t gotten around to reading, but want to LOL. Sorry about the lack of new fics (that I’ve already read), but I’m glad I could rec superposition somewhere LOL.

[dreadfutures]

aight let‘s talk ao3 tags again

the very nice tag wrangler I’ll be quoting from has given me permission to share their kind and thorough responses (all bolding/emphasis is mine) without identifying information. and we very nicely go through some of my own tags from my long fic Dead Pasts, Dread Futures. Many, many thanks to this wrangler for explaining so much to me.

Anyway. I present these discussions as a peacable offer of: these are many writers’ concerns, and they are valuable, and worth considering. don’t dismiss concerns about the tag limit off hand, and don’t insist that edge cases don’t matter.

tldr; at the moment, after all this discussion and back and forths and bullying, I still believe that having 75 tags, period, as the limit across ALLCharacters/Relationships/Fandoms/Additional Tags penalizes longfics. Period. If it were even a limit of 100 tags, or broken down by Tag Type, it would be a little more forgiving. For advertising and for content filtering purposes, it only helps writers and fic visibilty to be specific and thorough in tags. A limit like this just so clearly has the potential to negatively affect large fandom/large ensemble/long fics.

It feels like this decision is being very broadly based on a "for the majority" mindset, which has never been what AO3 is about, without actually physically looking at the kinds of fics it will affect. The tag system on AO3 has been able to give fic filtering and reader-judgement a nuance that no other platform has accomplished, and longfics and large ensemble fics still, I think, depend on that as both a courtesy and necessity. I saw the rough math someone did and know that almost all fics currently on AO3 are <25k or something like that, and sure, for the average oneshot, or for even a fic <100k, a tag limit that's very strict across all tag categories probably won't be felt at all. But it's clearly something that people who write certain types of fics, and take them very seriously, will feel. Like I genuinely don't want to have a million tags. I want to tag relevant content that allows potential readers to filter & include & exclude my fic as they so choose, but also, if it does show up in their search, I want to give them the information they want to be able to decide if they want to read my fic or not. I don't want to have to put all my content warnings into a giant summary, or into a giant author's note that grows and grows. The tags have been a very helpful way of accomplishing those. Being able to cut down on parallel/synned tags is great, but it still seems like longfics that deal with multiple fandom entries, large casts, and require content warnings will butt up against that limit very quickly.

tag limit discussions:

- long fic writers adding tags as they go

- writers of franchises with many installments and ensemble casts

- writers with extensive content warnings

- use of tags to clarify a filtered tag

- use of tags to demonstrate how content is handled

off the bat - stop being jerks

look, I know objectively fics don’t need to be tagged at all. I lived in the wild west, too, when “lemon” meant anything from the merest mention of arousal to an explicit vanilla sex scene to all out dead dove craziness. a large part of me still is of the opinion that readers should just read shit, and if they decide they don’t like it, just dip. but that’s not what we’re about here. tagging is a kindness that we voluntarily undertake, and it’s also a form of advertising.

tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes

(that’s one of the cruxes of the arguments both pro-shippers and antis make: you can filter things! But you can only filter things if they’re tagged.)

I also understand that a few asshole writers have ruined this for all of us by purposefully adding so many tags it slows down the site and makes pages fail to load and hides other fics because the tags take up 10 pages. i also am frustrated with kinkmemers who just have prompt fill fic dumping grounds that span multiple unrelated fandoms and are impossible to navigate.

...the answer is not to suggest to writers that we put all our content warnings and pairings and etc. in our summaries, or our A/Ns, or to insert a first chapter that is a placeholder summary/tags page/world state. tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes.

I also have been dealing with people being murderously angry, and super self-righteous and targeting and mean about my own tags, and tags in general. people who are anti-tag are being giant fucking dicks about it. like get over yourselves and let’s just talk about a website function lol. tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes.

THE ANSWER IS NOT TO GET RID OF TAGS.

Alright, so now that we’ve gotten that flippin’ straw argument aside.

The next thing anyone has been doing is going to my page and critiquing my tags. Let’s address redundant tags.

(the wrangler has done this nicely! no ridicule necessary!)

using my fic as an example:

If you tag your fic Female Lavellan/Solas (only), it will show up in the following searches: Inqusitor/Solas, Female Inquisitor/Solas, Lavellan/Solas, Female Lavellan/Solas.  If you tag your fic Inquisitor/Solas (only), it will show up only in the Inquisitor/Solas search and in none of the others.  If you tag with the most specific version, it will show up in the more general versions, but not the other way around. So there's no real reason to tag with the more general tags.

Though I will point out that if you don't use the canonical tag      and tag your character or relationship with a custom name it will      be synned to the nongendered version, because at some point the DA      wranglers decided that they didn't want to make gender      assumptions.  So "Annabelle Lavellan" will be synned to "Lavellan      (Dragon Age)" rather than "Female Lavellan (Dragon Age)", and      someone searching for works with specifically "Female Lavellan"      won't see it.

Response: In the fanfic writers server I'm in, we've talked about how tags work and are supposed to work extensively in the past.  There's just always been a lot of confusion, which I think has been added to when people go and try to double-check for themselves and find instances where this treeing/synning is broken. Someone put out this guide (also here) for AO3 meta text this year, which has been referred to by multiple people in the server, and it says:

What if you wrote a fic for something where there's a movie based on a book, but the movie's really different, and you've used both things that are only in the movie and things that are only in the book? In that case you either tag your fic as both the movie and the book, or see if the fandom has an “all media types” tag and use that instead of the separate tags. If the fandom doesn't have an “all media types” tag yet, you can make one! Just type it in.

“All media types” fandom tags are also useful for cases where there are lots of inter-related series, like Star Wars; there are several tellings of the story in different media but they're interchangeable or overlap significantly, like The Witcher; or the fandom has about a zillion different versions so it's very hard, even impossible, to say which ones your fic does and doesn't fit, like Batman. Use your best judgement as to whether you need to include a more specific fandom tag such as “Batman (Movies 1989-1997)” alongside the “all media types” fandom tag, but try to avoid including very many. The point of the “all media types” tag is to let you leave off the specific tags for every version.

Which I believe is in direct contradiction to guidance to use the most specific tags, so that's definitely one source of confusion. The most recent ao3 meta text guide (https://archiveofourown.org/wrangling_guidelines/2 I think this one) doesn't present itself in a way that makes this clear for writers tagging their own works. The way authors usually go about tagging things (and what's in the FAQ) is to start typing into one of the boxes and look for what populates the drop down, which doesn't lend itself to knowing that there are trees, or knowing what tags are interrelated (it seems like a whole grab bag of tags get suggested, some in-fandom and some outside of fandom, some canon/parent/meta and some children/random freeform, in just about any field you start typing in).

I'm not sure what can really be done about this. Many of us have turned to ao3-comment-of-the-day and their posts about using Tags, and various sources on google, and have clearly come up with a whole load of conflicting advice.

Fundamentally, finding parent/meta tags for a tag as you’re tagging a fic is NOT clear to writers. The fact that a nested and a meta tag can both be suggested one after the other when filling in tags largely contributes to redundant tags.

Writing for Multiple Fandom Entries

Here’s what a tag wrangler had to say about my fandoms:

As with the relationship tree, you can look at the fandom tree  here:      https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age%20-%20All%20Media%20Types  and see how the fandom tags are related. Going back to your story Rogasha'ghi'lan as an example, it's tagged with Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: The Last Court.  But as I said, you only need to tag with the lowest relevant level(s) on the tree in order for your fic to show up under the higher levels.  So if you tag with      Dragon Age: Inquisition and Dragon Age: The Last Court, it will show up not just under those categories, but also under Dragon Age (Video Games) and Dragon Age - All Media Types.  And of course because you've tagged with the specific, if someone searches under, say, Dragon Age (Video Games), but doesn't want Inquisition or Last Court fic, they can use the exclude filter to show only the earlier games.

(So that's two more tags you can remove with no effect on searchability!)

In my (but not only my) own case, I am indeed writing for Origins, DA2, Inquisition, and Last Court extensively within the same fic, so I should be tagging for all of those, specifically, still. In order to make sure my fic is seen by the correct fans, I need multiple specific tags.

Longfic Tag Bloat (adding tags as you write a fic)

And like many other longfic writers, even if I narrow down my character tags only to those with dedicated character arcs longer than 5 chapters, I still have Loads & Loads of Characters (including Dalish from the Chargers!).

A lot of longfic writers I know add characters, relationships, and content warnings as they go along.

At 170 chapters/580k words, Dead Pasts had a ton of important relationships (for example, like Vivienne & Lavellan), and as a story it's nowhere near done. I found myself planning an arc from 171 onward that would introduce a very important relationship (Felassan & Lavellan). This is how longfics end up with so many, many, many character tags and relationship tags, which is another major criticism people seem to have about "people who abuse tags."

A solution that people propose online is "split your fic." Which is actually what I ended up doing...but the old relationships and fandoms from DPDF still apply to Rogasha'ghi'lan, so Rogasha'ghi'lan will have the same number and more tags than DPDF.

If I hadn't split the fic, I would have just kept adding tags to Dead Pasts...and still had the same problem of continually adding tags. They're not superfluous tags: someone who wants to see a plot that is deeply influenced by Vivienne & Lavellan will find that in my fic; someone who is looking to see a major Felassan & Lavellan friendship grow and drive plot will also find that in my fic.

My fic is long; there are other fics that are longer, or are going to be longer, with casts that are just as large or larger, with many relationships, and that's not even talking about content warnings.

Polycule / Relationship Tags

"Tagging a polycule like Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan requires four      tags: Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, Bull/Dorian, Bull/Lavellan,      Lavellan/Dorian"

This assumes that people who like Lavellan/Dorian will want to read Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, which is often not the case.  If your story Is Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, tag it that way!  It doesn't make any sense to me to tag with the pairs as well unless the story would be of interest to people who read for that pair, or unless that pair relationship is a big step in the story (like, if you have established Lavellan/Dorian, and then they bring in Bull, you might tag for both that pair and the trio). I mean, you can tag how you like, there's no requirement that tags correspond to content. But for me, personally, if I search on Dagna/Lace Harding (I am weak for dwarf women!) I do not want to get a Dagna/Lace Harding/Sera fic.

My personal tastes don't include poly fics, but several writers I know who write poly fics are adamant that: tons of readers will not know of the possibility of the poly fic until it shows up in a search result, and the individual relationships often are significant to the fics, especially in fics that are not oneshots. For example, a great number of "fav fics" are stumbled-across! We aren't interested in the Sera/Dagna/Lace polycule ourselves, but someone might not have considered it, found it, and said, "Hey! That's my new favorite." But if polycules are segregated and only searchable by the polycule itself, alas, what's the option for visibility at all if not tagging it as Lace/Dagna in addition?

Additional Tags

Knowing when something is a "character" and when something is "additional"

Knowing that "Warrior Lavellan" (or the [Name] Mahariel) would be more useful in an Additional Tag vs. a Character Tag is also something I'm not sure how we're supposed to know? Like, I'm glad to know it now, but it's definitely not at all obvious without you telling me why it would be more useful in Additional vs in Character. Especially when to me: Warrior Lavellan is a character, and the fact that it populated the Character tag for me says that it's a Character. Because like I said, the guidance has been: start typing, and if it appears in the drop down, use it. Or, for example, my friend has the Well of Sorrows personified as a Character. Like an actual character. Does that have to go under Additional Tags, or as a Character? How do I know?

Additional tags as tone/content indicators

A lot of writers / readers have approached the Additional Tags as a surface-level overview of understanding how an author is approaching many topics concerned in the fic. Like, Vivienne is a character in my fic, but specifically I am Vivienne-positive, which I feel is important to denote because she's important to my fic, and she's a divisive character. Mood/tone/theme indicators like "Pro-Vivienne" or "we are Vivienne-positive in this house" (or like Male-Female Friendship, or "Expansive Lore" vs "Lore - Freeform" which denote different things to me) in tags (which in the comments section on the ao3 blog post get derided as "chatty tags") are still important to me, though they're useless or far less likely to be used for filtering. (I had the thesis of the conflict of my fic: “empathy is the enemy of free will” “but hope is a choice” as “chatty tags,” among some that were more mundane but important: “sera shows up late in fic”)

More seriously, there are fics that have content warning tags for filtering purposes but also clarify those content warnings to give context to readers and allow them to make a decision whether or not the content actually fits their preferences, ie, one that specifies domestic abuse as a tag (which would be in the Additional Tags) for filtering purposes but also specifies "domestic abuse not present in x relationship" (which would also be in the Additional Tags, but is useless for filtering purposes, but is immensely helpful and demonstrably used by readers to decide if they're going to even bother reading the author's note of that fic).

People are also nervous that not being able to thoroughly tag content warnings is going to end up with unhappy readers amid all the purity culture flaming that's going on lately.

Like, personally I err on the side of "suck it up, reader, and just read and find out," for a lot of things (not talking about content warnings, but talking about mood/tone additional tags), but also, given that there is already a venue here to let readers know what they're in for...taking that away sucks.

I hate a giant fic summary as much as people hate 10 pages of tags, but at least one can hide tags in their preferences, and likewise the thought of starting a fic up front with a giant author's note that gets continually updated with content warnings also isn't super appealing. Leading with a giant author's note that lays out: this is my world state and this is my character's spec and this is my character's background so you know how I'm going to approach this and these are all of the content warnings for the fic as a whole, just feels like getting into "My Immortal" territory. There's definitely a balance to be had between the art of writing a summary, what to include in an author's note, and what to include in tags, but this still seems like it's going to be fairly limiting for writers in these large franchises, especially for longfics that span a lot of topics.

It feels like this decision is being very broadly based on a "for the majority" mindset, which has never been what AO3 is about, without actually physically looking at the kinds of fics it will affect. The tag system on AO3 has been able to give fic filtering and reader-judgement a nuance that no other platform has accomplished, and longfics and large ensemble fics still, I think, depend on that as both a courtesy and necessity. I saw the rough math someone did and know that almost all fics currently on AO3 are <25k or something like that, and sure, for the average oneshot, or for even a fic <100k, a tag limit that's very strict across all tag categories probably won't be felt at all. But it's clearly something that people who write certain types of fics, and take them very seriously, will feel.

Like I genuinely don't want to have a million tags. I want to tag relevant content that allows potential readers to filter & include & exclude my fic as they so choose, but also, if it does show up in their search, I want to give them the information they want to be able to decide if they want to read my fic or not. I don't want to have to put all my content warnings into a giant summary, or into a giant author's note that grows and grows. The tags have been a very helpful way of accomplishing those. Being able to cut down on parallel/synned tags is great, but it still seems like longfics that deal with multiple fandom entries, large casts, and require content warnings will butt up against that limit very quickly.

[castielmydarling]

this is me trying

Castiel wakes up in The Empty this is his chance to get back to his family. To Dean. 

so Im not really a writer lol but Ive been with dean and cas from the beginning and I really wanted to contribute to the 100k fics so here it is. on ao3

“Cas...”

Castiel jolts awake. He looks around seeing nothing but darkness. It only takes a second to remember what happened. He remembers Dean looking up at him from the floor where he threw him to safety. A mild look of shock and confusion colors his face. Maybe even some sadness? Yes Castiel suspected Dean would be sad that he was gone but he would also be alive which was the important thing.

Castiel remembered The Empty coming for him. Enveloping him in darkness to pull him in to his final resting place.

Or so he thought.

Once again he’s awake in The Empty when he shouldn’t be. Castiel gets up and starts walking. Much like last time he doesn’t see anything.  It feels like he’s walking forward but without being able to see anything it’s impossible to know what direction he’s going in, if he’s making any headway at all. He reaches out around him but feels nothing.

It all looks the same but something is different. Something is wrong. He stops to concentrate on tries to focus on what’s so different this time.

Noise.

Castiel opens his eyes with sudden clarity that he’s surrounded by noise. He strains to listen but can’t make anything out. Muffled voices, he thinks, and wings maybe?

“Hello?” he calls out “Is anyone there?”

Castiel continues walking forward. Calling out for help. For others he knows would be there like Gabriel and Balthazar. Even tries calling for Meg but still no response. The voices are getting louder but he still can’t make anything out.

After walking for what feels like days he stops in his tracks with a sudden pain in his chest.

“Cas…”

He looks around. That sounded like…no impossible. He’s overcome with a sense of grief and despair.

“Dean?”

Castiel starts running with determination to get out. Before he was walking aimlessly without a real sense of direction of where he was going and what he was doing. He knew he was supposed to be here. He made a deal that he intended to keep so he wasn’t exactly trying to escape.

But now? Now he had to get out.

He continues running when suddenly he hits something solid. He stumbles to the floor in pain.

“There you are.”

He looks up. It looks like Meg but he can sense the difference.

“Why is it always you?” it buzzes around him clearly stressed.

“I didn’t do anything. I was holding up my end of the deal just fine when I woke up. I didn’t know why then and I don’t know why now.” Castiel stands up rubbing his head.

“You. Your son. The Winchester. Same difference. I’m awake because of you and now everyone is awake because of you!” The Empty walks around him frazzled “All I want is silence and sleep!” She continues walking around in circles muttering about bombs and it being loud.

“Then send me back!” Castiel pleads “If all this started because of me then get rid of the problem!”

“And let you negate on your deal?” The Empty shakes its head “No no no you can’t keep doing this!”

“I kept up my end!” Cas yells. He takes a deep breath “Whatever Jack did I had no hand in it. He knew about the deal. What it meant to me to honor the terms. Whatever he did I don’t think it was intentional.”

The Empty laughs “Oh blowing up a bomb waking everyone up wasn’t intentional?”

Castiel pinches his eyebrows “I have no idea what you’re talking about. As I’ve already told you I was here. I woke up. That’s it, that’s all I know.”

Castiel groans “You sent me back before. Can’t you just send them back? Send us all back then you’ll get the peace and quiet you so desperately want.”

The Empty looks around defeated. “This isn’t right” she grumbles “you should be mine, they should all be mine!” She whines.

Castiel tries to keep the hope out of his voice “Ok and we all will be again. Eventually.” He takes a step closer to The Empty “But is it really worth it trying to keep us here now? It’s loud and it’s only going to get louder. All you want to do is sleep right?”

The Empty nods her head furiously.

“Then the only way that is going to happen is if you let us all go.”

The Empty throws its hands up in defeat. “If that’s what it takes to finally get some peace and quiet then fine. I’ll let you go.” It says bitterly “And one by one you’ll come back and I’ll make sure none of you ever wake up again.”

“That’s fair” Castiel says earnestly.

“Oh not you” laughs The Empty.

“What?” Castiel asks unable to keep the fear out of his voice “but I thought…”

The Empty looks at him in anger “Don’t worry your pretty little head. You’re getting out with the rest of them but you won’t be back. I’m done trying to keep you here. I will not be waking up a third time because of you.”

Castiel can’t hide his smile “for what it’s worth I am sorry about all this” he says sincerely.

The Empty laughs humorlessly “Just get out” she says defeated and tired.

A flash of light erupts in the darkness. It’s so bright he can’t help but close his eyes.

Castiel keeps his eyes closed. He’s afraid of what he’ll see when he opens them. Will it be darkness? Was The Empty just playing with him? Or worse, did it release everyone but him?

He opens his eyes and looks around taking in his surroundings. The bunker. He sees the chair in the middle of the room, his blood still dry on the door. It looks darker now.

Suddenly he feels that pain in his chest again.

“Dean.”

Castiel opens the door and runs towards Dean’s room. He has no idea what day it is or the time. He doesn’t even know if Dean is here but it’s a start. He hesitates at the door. Slowly he knocks.

“Go away Sam. I’m fine.”

“Dean” Castiel calls out “It’s not Sam. It’s me.”

“Great” he hears muffled through the door “now I’m hallucinating.”

Castiel opens the door. Dean is at his desk slumped over. Papers scattered all over it and the floor. He raises his head.

“And now my hallucinations can open doors. Maybe Sam was right, I do drink too much.” He drops his head back down.

“While I’m sure Sam is correct you are not hallucinating Dean.” Cas slowly walks over to him. Lightly touches his shoulder. No blood to stain him this time. Dean jerks his head up.

“Cas?” he says weak “Is that really you?” He pushes the chair stumbling to stand up.

Cas steadies him. “Yes Dean, it’s really me.”

Dean falls into his arms clinging to him like his life depends on it because in a way it does. Cas holds him tight keeping Dean grounded. He can feel Dean mumble something into his chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Dean leans back just enough to look up at him. “I said I don’t even care if this is a hallucination” Dean looks at him sadly. He moves to bring his hand up like he wants to touch his face but stops. Dean looks scared as if touching his face he’ll break whatever this alcohol grief induced hallucination is and he’ll lose everything again.

“Oh Dean”

Cas reaches for Dean’s hand bringing it to his face. Dean’s eyes slowly change from scared to hopeful. Cas presses a kiss gently to his hand.

“I’m real.”

Dean drops his head squeezing Cas against him. “We are.”

[owlf45]

I'm new and I started following you for broken reality but if it's not too rude may I have a link for your other works on archive? Thank you uwu ✨✨✨♥️♥️♥️

Oh sure!! I’ll go through the ones I personally like or ones that are popular on my Ao3. If you want to see the ones I don’t mention, here’s the link to my account:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlF45

Indefinite

it’s my most popular(?) work. It’s basically a slow burn of melting your brain for 12 hours straight if you’re into that. You’ll either love it/enjoy it greatly or hate it, from what I can tell there tends to be little to no in between. Very plot heavy. Tends to be angsty most of the time, sprinkled with humor and fluff (blame Little Me’s emotional baggage.) You probably would have to invest some time into understanding this one. I’ve (personally) got a love-hate relationship with this one.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16286357/chapters/38088380

Imaginary

This might also be my most popular, it’s hard to tell from my side since I get the full statistics lmao. Heavily focuses on OFA holders coming back to protect Izuku. This one was a study into characterization, so there’s tons of moments building each character. It’s usually a lot lighter and fluffier than Indefinite, but it Definitely Has Its Moments. Very low-key Tododeku (Todoroki hasn’t even been introduced and we’re just shy of 100k words. It’s definitely not the focus lol.) Tends to be a pretty big hit! People seem to really like this one. I’m really proud of it myself.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18854974/chapters/44750590

Safe Space

My third most popular fic. This one’s pretty cut and dry. Izuku is a villain(?) but not, and he helps spoils Shinsou and Todoroki (and Dabi and Eri) find a safe home to stay. Mostly fluff, somewhat crack-ish. Self indulgent, not very layered or anything. It’s got maybe 3 chapters total (if I can get around to updating it.) It’s good for a quick, simple read if you don’t want to get invested and start feeling emotions. I like it enough.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843439/chapters/52130152

ripen the plucked days

One of my personal favorites! It’s one of my least popular fics, there’s only one chapter and it’s less than 2k words lmao but it’s pure crack. Basically Sero owns an ice cream truck, and one day he accidentally runs over Izuku with it. Izuku dashes off to get to work on time without a single scratch on him, they meet the next day when Izuku buys ice cream from Sero. Overtime Sero isn’t sure if he wants to ask Izuku out or if he’s still theorizing that Izuku’s secretly a dragon. Also government conspiracies and spies. I cannot wait to write more for this one. I might update it soon for my own self indulgence.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843643/chapters/52130626

I don’t care too much for my other fics (except for Vitamin Window, a fanfic of Eva’s fanfic Bloom in Winter, and also Instincts of a Hollow Chest) but you’re welcome to read them. They’re mostly planned one shots I posted prematurely during my year long break to tell people I wasn’t dead. They’re not bad, they’re just kind of... there.

Make sure to read all the tags for triggering content!!! Indefinite doesn’t have as many as it should to prevent spoilers (though I do post several warnings at the beginning notes of the specific chapter in question). So go in there braced, but if you want me to give you a more transparent list of stuff to look out for, feel free to send another ask!

[silentauroriamthereal]

2020 fic year in review

I was tagged by my lovely @khorazir! Thanks, you! 

Total number of completed stories: Three, but two of them were fairly long? I wrote: 

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: John/Sherlock, 50,689 words, explicit, John POV. Set in New York, because I was itching to go there and couldn’t, and setting a fic somewhere is the next best thing. Probably my most political fic to date, this one was a deliberate reversal of the fake-couple-for-a-case trope, aka I wanted to create a setting wherein John and Sherlock become a couple during a case but need to keep it a secret for the sake of the case. So I set it at a massive, anti-gay conference in the US. Naturally. :P 

Sine Nomine: John/Sherlock, 45,626 words, explicit, mostly John POV with sections of Mycroft and Sherlock POV as well. In fact, though the sections aren’t equal in length, it’s symmetrical: it goes Mycroft POV/John POV/Sherlock POV/John POV/Mycroft POV. This story has a dark premise and a particularly dark setting for one section. It’s based on the concept of Mycroft rewatching the footage of John beating Sherlock in the morgue for the hundredth time or so and revisiting the question of whether John had been the making of his brother, or made him worse than ever. He’s definitely come to the latter conclusion, but decides to give John one final chance in the form of a test. John, for his own reasons, makes what Mycroft deems the incorrect choice, and Mycroft basically sends him into a death trap. The setting of this place is officially set in Serbia with indirect hints at events similar to the Srebrenica Genocide in Bosnia, but the actual setting is Syria, which I’ve just spent the past year studying intensely. Putting a slice of that into the dark core of this story, albeit disguised as another place, was strangely cathartic for me. The title, which is Latin for “no name”, is a double reference to the village here, which Sherlock and Mycroft never name, ominously referring to it only as “the village”, both to each other and to John, as well as John’s never-named or owned feelings for Sherlock. This one is close to my heart for a lot of reasons, but most of all because of Syria. Also, the vast majority of the time in my writing, I choose a singular POV and stick to it very closely for the entire story. Choosing to rotate between these three men essentially allowed me to show how they’re all justified in their own decisions here, and to examine the relationships between all three of them. It’s a story about reckonings and eventual, hard-won reconciliations. 

The Secret of Hazel Grange. Sherlock/John, 18,181 words, explicit, Sherlock POV. I’m going to claim that the reason I only managed to swing three fics this entire year is partly that I put another project on hold in order to write this one, lol. This is the third Christmas fic I’ve written and I’m happy with how it came out. It’s also the only story I’ve written that’s explicitly set during this pandemic, and during the second London lockdown, which is eerily similar to the code red lockdown my own city is in, so it just felt right. It’s been a somewhat miserable holiday season for me (so many reasons, including unhappiness at work and an illegally high rent increase that my apartment building is putting through, on top of the pandemic and all of that isolation and all of those cancellations), so writing some happy endings for someone else was pure escapism for me. Hopeful for others, too! 

Total word count: 114,496 words of posted fic. 130,796 if we’re counting my work-in-progress that got interrupted for the Christmas fic. :)

Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? I wrote about what I thought I expected to be able to write. Right now, I have a full-time job, a part-time job, and then freelance work, all to attempt to make ends meet, so I have very little spare time to write in, unfortunately. So getting over 100k words in is actually somewhat miraculous to me. It feels like not very much when it’s just three stories, but I guess it still amounts to a fair number of words? 

What’s  your own favourite story of the year? Picking favourites is always tough, but for the Syria connection, I’d have to go with Sine Nomine. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? I suppose that going so hard on the whole Republican anti-gay groups thing could be considered “risky” in some circles, but not really hereabouts! LGBTQ+ rights is one of my areas of advocacy (in fact, I’m a founding member of the Rainbow Equity Council at my workplace and spent a crap ton of time this month drafting governance documentation for it), but genocides are the issue that are really closer to my heart, so the Syria connection, even if it wasn’t named outright, could also be seen as a “dangerously” political stance, I suppose. But compared to other writing choices (like Scars, which features actual rape, or any of my Freebatch stuff, or any of the stories where Mary is an overt terrorist (rather than “just” a freelance assassin, lol)), I don’t really think I was terribly risky this year. 

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? The first item on the agenda is to get back to work on Nocturne, my WIP. After that, we’ll see. That said, I STILL would like to get back to searching for an agent for my novel, which is strongly based on Against the Rest of the World. I would also like to write that Johnlock cookbook I keep vaguely promising (it would feature recipes from my fics), and in a quirky “other” sort of project, I also wrote a heap of haikus about Republicans this fall that I’d like to see about getting published. Want a taste? Sure you do. I give you: 

Brett Kavanaugh

Brett has a face like

a snarly little hedgehog.

He likes beer, okay?!

Mitch McConnell

Moscow Mitch is a

corrupt turtle who keeps his

balls in his neck pouch

Most popular story of the year? Well, the longer a story is posted, the more time it has to collect hits, kudos, bookmarks, and comments, obviously, so that makes The Four Horsemen the clear winner here. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: From this year or in general? :P I often find that my plottiest, most detailed, most researched stories that I personally think contain some of my most thoughtful writing are the ones that get the least attention. For instance, after series 3 aired, I wrote three back-to-back intensely-detailed series 3 fix-it fics (which all, to their credit, do get plenty of attention, though none so much as Vena Cava, the third of the three). Then I wrote a light-hearted, almost-crack porn fic, more as mental relaxation than any sort of literary genius, and that fic - Best of Three - remains my most wildly-popular story of anything I’ve ever written. It used to frustrate me, but now I’m just grateful to have anyone read anything of mine. But along that theme, yeah: the most complex of this year’s stories (Sine Nomine) is probably the one I feel is the least appreciated, but that’s also fine. No complaints here - I’m very lucky to have the readership I have!! 

Most fun story to write: Sine Nomine, for all the reasons I talked about above, though I’d also call this the most emotionally-invested story of mine from this past year. That said, setting any story in Manhattan is always going to be fun, and I loved researching approximately 500 holiday rental properties in various parts of England in order to finally just create my own, aka Hazel Grange, lol. 

Most unintentionally telling story: Ha, well, if you weren’t sure about my stance on gay rights, marriage equality, or Republicans in general, The Four Horsemen should clear that up pretty distinctly, lol! 

Biggest disappointment: Just that I haven’t had more time to write. 

Biggest surprise: Possibly that I felt so able to represent all three POVs in Sine Nomine as equally as I did. By that, I don’t mean being able to write in their perspectives, but rather in presenting their arguments with (I hope) equal persuasion: Mycroft thinks that John’s entire presence in Sherlock’s life has spelled nothing but disaster for Sherlock. He’s arguably not wrong. He decides that John is out of chances, and that he’s justified in being the one to make that call. Sherlock disagrees, hard, and he’s not wrong. John makes the choice he makes for his daughter, not for the choice Mycroft gives him between choosing either Mary or Sherlock once and for all, and he’s not wrong to have done that, or unjustified in wanting to go and demand some answers from Mary, who isn’t dead after all, here. But then I think that their various reasons for reconciliation are all equally justified, too. I hope! Usually when you stick to one perspective, the story naturally gears itself to persuade the reader to identify with that one character and to take their side. Here, I hope I manage to juggle the balance fairly equally. 

I don’t know who’s been tagged in this already, but I’ll tag: @totallysilvergirl, @blogstandbygo, @nade2308, @weneedtotalkaboutsherlock, @hubblegleeflower, and anyone else who writes. 

[ltleflrt]

Ltleflrt’s Writing Year In Review

I say this every year, but I wish I’d written more lol.  On the other hand, I thought I was probably done writing Destiel early in the year and thought I’d go into writing hibernation until a new fandom or pairing poked my muse in the ass with a sharp stick, BUT I ended up writing a whole ‘nother goddamn 100k+ fic!  So I’m thrilled af about that XD

Total 2020 Word Count: 164,013 Estimated 2020 Kudos: 1,846 Estimated 2020 Hits: 32,193

My 2020 Fics:

Hunter’s Caress: 161,095 (18,866 written in 2020)

Castiel Jameson won’t rest until the outlaw who murdered his brother faces justice, and Dean Winchester is the only man alive who can help him track the villain down. Some say Winchester is a cold-blooded killer himself; others say he’d been wronged his whole life. All Castiel knows is that the desire glinting in Dean’s green eyes is even more dangerous than he is. Castiel fights to keep his mind on business, but during the long nights on the trail with the dangerously handsome hunter he finds himself dreaming of yielding to Dean’s illicit kisses and losing himself in lawless passion.

Dean Winchester is about to hang when Castiel saves his neck with his crazy plan. But dying might be better than spending day and night playing nursemaid to such an infuriating city slicker. He appreciates the stubborn detective’s desire for justice, but he’d appreciate Cas a lot more if he’d stop being a lawman long enough to just be a man. He certainly has all the right equipment. Dean aches to run his fingers through Castiel’s dark hair, yearns to know how Castiel’s golden skin will feel against him. And before the coming of the next dawn, Dean vows to teach him the pleasures and sweet rewards of a Hunter’s Caress.

Most of this was written in 2019, which is why my Kudos and Hits are estimated, since a lot of that came from Hunter’s Caress. 

I learned so much from this project.  It’s based on a favorite book that I read for the first time when I was 11 years old, and have re-read probably twenty times since then.  Since I had the book open for reference most of the time I was working on this story, I got to compare my writing to a professional.  And y’all know what I think?  I’m kinda better at this than they are?  Not on the story creation front, because I consider Desperado’s Caress one of the best romance adventures I’ve ever read, but on the technical side of things.  Looking at the book with the eyes of a writer, with a little bit of editing experience under my belt now too, I’m just like... this is kind of a mess?  It was actually quite a boost to my ego lol

The Thing About Heaven Is...: 2,363 words

The thing about Heaven is that even though Dean has been here before, this time he’s taking the time to enjoy the experience, and things are a lot different than he expected.

I put a note on this fic that I didn’t hate the SPN Finale, even though I didn’t love it either, but I was being generous because sometimes I’ll remember what we got and I’m filled with rage.  I wake up in the middle of the night and think of all the ways it could have been better, and lose hours of sleep.  I spend far too much time yelling at Jared in my head for talking it up, and also at the imaginary C*W that lives in my head that gets to hear me ranting about how they fucked up so bad at least once a day. 

When I say that I didn’t hate the ending, what I really mean is that Dean going to Heaven first while Sam spends time back on Earth was kinda what I was expecting, so those 2 events are not bad in themselves, but the execution and the lack of Castiel on screen completely ruined it for me.

But that’s what fix it fic is for, right?  I decided to set my fix it fic post 15x20, because I know more invested and skilled writers who enjoy writing canonverse are going to give us hundreds of post 15x18 goodness, so I’ll let them do that while I work with what we got.  This was what gave me catharsis, and even though I’m never going to watch that train wreck of an episode ever again (seriously, I want to rage scream that the last “good” episode was by Bucklemming), I feel like I can come back to this fic again someday and feel some peace when I read it.

Man in the Wilderness: 142,784

As a veteran, Dean has survived more than most people could handle without going completely cuckoo. And he hasn't exactly escaped being a little messed up himself. So he's returned home to the tiny town he grew up in, retreating from a world that has become too much. But when you know everyone in town, the dating pool is shallow and it can be a little bit lonely, even when surrounded by friends and family who love him. And then a drifter on a motorcycle rolls into town, and Dean thinks just maybe this might be the man he's been waiting for.

While wandering the country in an attempt to escape his problems, Castiel's motorcycle breaks down in a small desert town. He's helplessly drawn to Dean, the town's handsome mechanic, and the feeling appears to be mutual. After months of aimless traveling, he thinks he may have finally found his way out of the wilderness.

Technically as of today this is still a WIP on AO3, but I finished the last chapter a few hours ago, so I’m counting the words in my WIP folder too lol

This was a surprise!  It’s a SPN/Destiel rewrite of my Mass Effect/mShenko fic Feels Like Home, which is the first story I ever wrote that made me feel like a popular writer.  Early this year I was brainstorming ideas for a fic where Castiel was the mechanic instead of Dean, and I jokingly said to @jupiterjames that I should do Feels Like Home, with Castiel as the mechanic.  She was enthusiastic about it, but I just laughed it off at first because what a silly idea.  Then I started poking at it.  Like a bruise.  Couldn’t stop.

Obviously I dropped the Mechanic!Cas angle, because it didn’t feel right for the story.  But as soon as I thought y’know, what if it was Mechanic!Dean and Drifter!Cas my muse came roaring awake screaming DO IT DO IT DO IT.

So I did.  And it was even more of a learning experience than writing Hunter’s Caress!  Because now I’m seeing my older writing (7 years holy shit!!), and I’m seeing all the ways I’ve improved over the better part of a decade, and finding even more ways to improve as I go through the rewrite. 

For a couple years now, I’ve felt kind of stagnant in my writing.  I have felt like I lost My Voice, and I was struggling to figure out what was wrong.  Was I just bored?  Yes, probably.  But also, I think I needed to look back at some of my older works that I fucking loved and thought couldn’t be improved...and improve them. 

Just Keep Writing You’ll Get There is good advice.  But it wasn’t working for me, because I’ve written 1-2 novels a year since I started writing fic in 2012, so it’s not like I was just staring at my screen and not putting any words on it while I angsted.  Read And Rewrite Your Old Shit was the next step in my evolution.  I highly recommend it if you’re also feeling stagnant and stuck XD

I’m also super amused, because Feels Like Home was 112k, and at the time it was the longest thing I’d ever written.  On accident.  Like I do.  It was supposed to be for an 8k mini-bang, and I had to drop out because obviously it got away from me and I wasn’t going to make the deadline.  As I was doing the Destiel rewrite, I had to keep cutting scenes and characters out that were specific to Mass Effect, and I speculated that the new fic would be shorter than the original. Ha.  Hahaha.  HahahahahaHAHAHAHAKDJHFADKJHF... fuck I am a wordy bitch.

[im-immortal]

I absolutely love your fics! You’re highly underrated in my opinion! I absolutely love Don’t Make Me Haunt You! Most Wanted looks good but idk if I can commit to a fic that long but it still looks great. Every time I see you post anything I drop everything I’m doing to read your work. I even read your work while I’m at the gym and that’s rare for me to slow down my workouts. You rock!

I don’t blame you for not wanting to start Most Wanted yet lol somehow it’s only about 100k words longer than DMMHY, but 20 chapters shorter… and who knows when I’ll finish it lmao so take your time! 😂

But wow, this is so incredibly sweet 💕 I’m so glad my writing can bring you some joy!! I really hope you continue to enjoy my silly little fanfics!! Thank you so so much ❤️❤️❤️

[thrillingdetectivetales]

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Okay, okay, I know I’m late with this but the incredibly sweet @irolltwenties and the utterly delightful @anthrobrat were both kind enough to me in this bad boy and it seems really fun, so here we are!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

According to my AO3 statistics page, I wrote just over 100K of fiction this year, across 17 different fandoms, a few of which won’t actually go live until after the New Year because they’re part of a gifting collection that hasn’t been revealed yet... Anyway, I picked my faves for a variety of reasons, listed briefly after each link. If you have any questions about works I’ve shared (or just in general) feel free to ask!

1. Front Row at the Gongshow

The Pacific, 16K, Rated G  Andrew ‘Ack Ack’ Haldane/Edward ‘Hillbilly’ Jones

Aside from being the longest completed work I produced this year, this is also the first fic I’ve ever written using the “found document” format. While there are parts of it I feel really conflicted about, I’m still incredibly proud of it and think it’s one of the better fic I’ve written...possibly ever. Which is doubly funny because I don’t usually do modern AUs of period fiction, but the hockey angle was enough to tempt and lo, here we are, lol.

[Excerpt from Deadspin]

"You all remember Eddie Jones, right? The corn-fed captain of the New Orleans Rougarou so wholesome he belongs on a box of Malt-O-Meal? The gentleman bruiser who spends his free time playing country tunes for kids with cancer?

Our favorite dapper D-man led his team to 97 points last night in a shut-out victory against the Los Angeles Kings, clinching a playoff spot for the first time in franchise history. Oh! And he also got caught on camera at the after-party, sucking face. WITH A DUDE."

2. Entremets

Hannibal, 8K, Rated E Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

I have...so many Hannibal fic that I’ve started writing and haven’t finished because all my ideas lead to long plotty epics and also big name fandoms scare me. I did this one up for Eat, Drink, & Make Merry, and I’m really, really pleased with the way it turned out, considering it was my first foray into establishing new character voices and also a successful exercise in writing explicit content, which can be a bit of an Ordeal for me, so overall I’m incredibly happy with it. Plus! My deep and abiding love of writing characters cooking/eating/otherwise dealing with food finally paid off!

“The pâté was supposed to be more of a gesture,” Will explains, spreading a golden sliver of honeycomb out across a slice of sopressata with the blade of his pocket knife. “You don’t actually have to eat it. I’m not even sure if it’s any good.” He smears a healthy dollop of chȇvre across his meat-and-honey concoction and pops the whole thing into his mouth without ceremony.

“What better method exists by which to convey one’s appreciation of a gesture than to indulge it?”

3. An Ode to Matty Big-Time

The Good Place, 2K, Rated T Jason Mendoza/Original Male Characters, Pillboi

This one was actually a request made by my very dear @thesummoningdark, who wanted to see some bisexual Jason per that one fantastic Tumblr post about how everyone in TGP should be bi, and I’m really, really proud of the way it turned out. I love writing comedy and I very rarely get to lean into it as hard as I’d like, so delving into the whole wild craziness of Jacksonville, as explained in the show was really fun. I also love writing original characters, and this was a great excuse to indulge.

“We probably shouldn’t do any butt stuff,” Jason warns, with as much gravitas as he can muster. “I had two of Stupid Nick’s Disaster Buckets when I got here.”

“Yeah, your face is still kinda orange,” Mateo agrees fondly, bringing his other hand up to brush his thumb over Jason’s lower lip. It stirs a little frisson of heat in his belly that Jason is 68% sure isn’t just indigestion. “No chemical burns, though, so I think you came out on top.”

4. This and Who I Used to Be

The Tick (2017), 3K, Rated G Arthur Everest/Superian

Another new fandom I haven’t written in before, this was a fill for the Rare Male Slash Exchange that turned me on to a pairing I’d never even thought of before I wrote it and am now low-key obsessed with. It is also, to date, the ONLY Arthur/Superian fic on AO3 at all, which is a cool weird honor and fairly indicative of my life’s goal to eventually write my way into smaller and smaller fandoms until I come out the other side with original works. It was really fun to explore these characters, and to figure out some world-building for Superian’s backstory that fit within the tone and established canon of the extant Amazon!Tick universe. Also featuring an original character that nobody asked for but I’ve come to love unconditionally.

Arthur glances down to where Superian has one cheek pressed against his shoulder, humming something off-key and unintelligible with his eyes closed. Arthur sighs. “Let’s get you inside.”

He hauls Superian in until he can prop him against the wall while he shuts and locks the door behind him. When he looks back over, Superian is smiling at him, soft and lazy. He swings a finger in Arthur’s direction, a broad, sloppy motion, and announces, “I knew you’d say yes.”

“Technically I said fine,” Arthur rebuts. He gestures down the hallway toward the kitchen—which leads on to the bedroom, as Superian well knows—and sighs, “Come on. I don’t know what those handcuffs did to you, but you should probably lie down and have a glass of water or something.”

5. Rain in Its Season

Band of Brothers, 12K, Rated G Edward ‘Babe’ Heffron/John Julian

Oh boy. What to say about this one. It’s maybe not as polished as I might have preferred, but I feel that way about mostly everything I write and at the end of the day I do really love what I managed to do with this piece. Written for the Heavy Artillery Rare Pair Exchange, I managed to lean heavily into both my love for needlessly granular period research and original characters, which are abundant herein. Frankly, based on the very little we see of him in the show, Julian himself is practically an OC, but I digress. This was another of the longer pieces I’ve ever finished and I’m proud of it even if I’d’ve liked to write another 15K or so, time constraints notwithstanding.

“Tell me. Please. Why’re you here?”

Babe flinched, gaze dropping to the floor. His heart was a raw, swollen welt in his chest. He swallowed and licked his lips, slow and pained.

“Come on, Julian,” he rasped, low and quiet. “You know why.” He laughed, soft and hoarse, and shook his head, once. When he looked back up, Julian had taken a careful step into the center of the room. His eyes were very dark, his mouth very red, hope and fear warring in his every feature. Babe fisted his fingers in the cotton sheet underneath him, halfway to pleading as he insisted, “You gotta know.”

Julian sighed and came over to hover at the edge of the bed. Babe spread his legs to accommodate the intrusion.

“That was - ” Julian started. His voice failed midway through the protest, and he swallowed, took a breath, and regrouped at a lower volume. “You said that was just buddies, what we did over there. That it didn’t count. That you didn’t want it to.”

The TL;DR of this all being that while I didn’t write as much I wanted to this year in terms of volume, I feel like my quality has been improving consistently and hope it continues to do so into 2021 while I try to finish out some of my years-long WIPs and get into longer completed pieces.

I’m not sure who all to tag, so I’ll say @thesummoningdark, @blahblahblahclintnickiscanon, @thisbadge, @incognito-insomniac, and anyone else who’d like to join in and hasn’t been tagged yet! (If you’re the latter, feel free to @ me so I can see what you’ve written!)

Happy New Year everyone May the fanworks you create this year be prolific and soul-affirming!

[threeletterslife]

chana, what are some of your pet peeves while reading a story? like things such as bad grammar. btw i love your works!!

god i love this question so much. and thank you for reading! 🥺🥺🥺i really appreciate the love!

i’m seriously going to sound like a grumpy ol’ bitch saying this but i have a LOT of pet peeves lol. i have such specific, meticulous taste that it’s hard for me to find stories (internet fics and irl books alike) that pertain to my weirdass standards 😀

quick disclaimer! just because i don’t like some of these popular/infamous/adored tropes doesn’t mean they’re not bad at all! remember, i’m just rEALLy picky! here goes:

fake dating. (i hate it. i can’t stand it when a story’s main idea is fake dating. i just can’t seem to understand why anyone would want to fake date. the scenarios always seem so bs-ed or middle school-esque to me. but someone is always welcome to prove me wrong.)

bad grammar. (this one speaks for itself. i can’t stand bad grammar. this doesn’t mean i’ll jump on you if you make oNE little mistake <because, i mean, we’re all human, you know>. but if the grammar mistakes are consistent... and far too many... i will be pissed 😀😀😀) honorary mention common mistakes: every day vs everyday; your vs you’re; .” vs ”. ; affect vs effect; anymore vs any more; their vs they’re vs there; lay vs lie; except vs accept; then vs than; -- vs —

bland/generic y/n. (i love writing in 2nd pov. but just because this ‘y/n’ character doesn’t technically have a name... doesn’t mean... she isn’t allowed to have a personality. a bland or mary sue-type y/n with zero dimension can single-handedly deter me from reading the rest of the story. remember, y/n deserves a personality too 😭😭)

starting the story with “I woke up in my bed after hearing my eomma call my name from downstairs.” (this is just a very specific pet peeve of mine that triggers my fight or flight. i’m blaming this on wattpad.)

using honorifics and romanized korean. (this is going to be very controversial. but... i think it kinda has to be said. i do not want to read an english story that is very obviously not set in korea and have to go through words like “eomma” “oppa” “jagi” “saranghae” “hyung” “jimin-ah” “taehyung-ie” “unnie” “noona” and sometimes a whole SENTENCE in romanized korean. as someone who is korean, i find it—for the lack of a better word—cringy. because of some of the stories i’ve seen, i can’t even speak my own language sometimes without cringing. you could NEVER catch me calling my older cousins “oppa” anymore even though i’m supposed to out of literal respect and culture. and it’s thanks to the fact that some (thankfully, a minority of) fanfiction authors romanticize/sexualize it. don’t even get me started on my younger cousins/siblings calling me “noona.” i wanna d-word every time i hear it because it’s been so sexualized in the ff community that i just don’t feel comfortable with them calling me that for platonic/respectful reasons. but i digress. if i can tell the author has done research and it is written well and correctly and in a non-sexualized manner, then i don’t have a problem with it. still wouldn’t read though 😭😭)

idol au’s. (also controversial. but this is mainly my fault LMAO. once upon a time, long ago, little chana first stumbled upon bangtan and decided she wanted to venture into the fanfiction world for them. her first fanfiction was a jungkook idol au. and now she will probably never write another idol au again because she is scarred. but seriously. idol au’s make me want to cry inside because 1. they’re unrealistic 2. the writers usually do little to no research on korea/the music industry 3. personal (humiliating) history 😔which again, is totally on me. i feel like this pet peeve of mine is unjustifiable tho lmao. a lot of people adore idol au’s. but i just can’t get into them)

adding photos in the middle of the story. (this just boils my blood for no reason i’m sorry 😭😭to me, it seems unprofessional. BOOKS may have illustrations. but only if the illustrations are showing a SCENE that the writing describes. not necessarily an outfit. usually, when internet authors put photos in their stories, it’s to show the ootd/makeup/hairstyle/what y/n is supposed to look like. i’m personally not into that. i think that should all be up to the reader’s imagination! that’s why we read, isn’t it? to be able to create our own faces and scene layouts from scratch!)

social media au’s. (VERY controversial. and kinda ironic since i’ve actually made a whole ass text fic. but lemme tell you it was not fun and i will never do it again 😭i don’t know. i’m not very big on social media lol. and a possible romance developing from such unauthentic apps like instagram, twitter, snapchat doesn’t sit right with me. i’m more into traditional/authentic romance! the kind where you sit down face to face and talk and giggle for hours—without the presence of devices)

a bad ending. (man this one’s a very personal pet peeve of mine. imagine slaving away reading a 100k+ fic just to find out the ending is abrupt, the strings are left untied and your favorite character just... dies. for no reason at all. i hate that feeling of no closure. a bad ending doesn’t necessarily mean a SAD one. i prefer sad/angsty endings to a happily ever after. but i think the ending makes up the whole story. and to have a good ending, the ending must somehow still connect to the rest of the story.)

character inconsistencies. (i love character development as much as the dude next door but just because a character does a 180 out of nowhere doesn’t mean they actually developed at all. real people take time to change!!)

when there are author’s notes IN THE MIDDLE of the story. (believe it or not, i’ve seen this happen. it interrupts the flow of the plot and it looks unprofessional. and the fact that i used to do this when i first started writing ff’s bYE—)

when the romance escalates from 0 to 100. (i’m guilty of this. but it’s also a pet peeve of mine to read something like this LOL. but i get it. writing subtle developments in romance is hard 😭😭but it doesn’t excuse itself from being one of my major pet peeves 😀😀)

when mental illness, domestic abuse, trauma is romanticized. (this is a given, i think. don’t romanticize someone else’s struggles for your fictional pleasure, please!!)

telling instead of showing. (probably one of the biggest pet peeves of mine. too often, i see writers outright telling me that their oc is ‘independent’ and ‘strong’ or that oc and jimin’s romance is ‘unparalleled.’ but if i don’t feel that from the writing itself, i’m not going to be able to believe it. but if you show me that oc is independent and that oc and jimin are meant to be with little scenarios and anecdotes, that’s gonna be a lot more effective!)

when’s there’s no chemistry between the couple. (this is probably everyone’s pet peeve LMAO)

the “oh no! there’s only one bed!” trope. (i never understood this because. damn just take the couch or sleep on the floor. OR just sleep in the same bed with a pillow barrier. it’s literally not a big deal 😭unless 👀 idk this one 100% depends on execution)

and i saved the worst for last:

when you read 50+ chapters for an ‘ongoing’ fic but when you get to the ‘end’... you realize it’s been discontinued since 2017 😀😀😀(the pain is fucking real y’all)

um.... that was a lot 😭😭i’m sorry. i actually thought i’d be a lot pickier, but i guess i’m actually really lenient on types of tropes and au’s. i’m okay with basically 99.9% of all tropes (yes, including vampire, abo, love triangle, etc) because i believe all tropes depend solely on EXECUTION. so generally, i keep an open mind. (with the exception of fake dating, idol au’s, social media au’s and the tHeRe’S oNlY oNe bEd trope lmaoo) 

basically, i’m quick to give things a chance but quick to leave too 😔😔

i swear i have more penchants than pet peeves 😭😭but that’s a story for another time!!