#only supposed to be a temporary break to figure out what we wanted to do but he broke up with me on the car ride (I do not drive. him and a

[sightoru]

hey scout!

not sure if I'm remembering this correctly, but you moved to another state somewhat recently right? I was wondering what that process was like and how you did it. I'm in a red state and really want to go to a blue one. But I'm just unsure of how to even go about it since I don't have a remote job. Any tips would be appreciated, thank you!!!

You are remembering correctly! I moved in with az (@/haruchiyos) in June of 2023. HOWEVER, I moved from a blue state in New England to a Red state in the midwest.... so the opposite direction. Tho I will say I live in a very blue area, which was kinda blinding this election season since I was like 'wow yeah its so liberal here' I forgot about the rest of the state briefly.

However, I will tell you in the 26 years of my life I have lived in 4 different states, and moved cross country 4 times :') most of these moves were not planned. when I moved to my current state it was like 3 days notice and when I moved I thought I was coming back lol (ill put those details in the tags). ANYWAYS, you'll have the benefit of... planning lmao. I'd start with looking at jobs first, and community is important. if you know someone in a blue state that lives in a city you like, I'd recommend making a visit. it would also be easier if you have a place to stay for a bit, and someone who can look at places to live for you.

the benefit of working at a major company also comes to play here, especially if you can transfer stores/offices/ etc and look for jobs. you might also have the benefit of a degree, which could make finding/switching jobs a bit easier (when I moved, I only had az. no degree, no license. it took a month for me to find a job, but I also hadn't worked in 3 years which added to the struggle. I worked for the last year at a grocery store chain, then briefly as a barista, before moving into a healthcare role which is nice and im finally in a type of job where I feel like im not at a deadend lol). Remote jobs can definitely help, but tbh remote jobs are so hard to get and very oversaturated. everyone wants one, making it harder to get one. (one of my friends WFH, and their rec is to apply directly on job sites for it instead of ziprecruiter/indeed/etc, since a lot of them are scams)

Look into subreddits for your city of choice, find what people like about it. ask questions!! ask about cost of living, safer parts of town, what's hiring. my city's subreddit has so many posts like that. if you have the stomach for it, look into working for the government offices/ city offices/ state offices in that city. the benefits you'll get are great and they tend to start much higher than minimum wage.

for friends, try Bumble friends ! look on Facebook for meet up groups. community is so important, now more than ever (which is why I recommended moving to a city where you know someone).

for states, California and New York are what come to mind for very blue states. Northern California is gorgeous and I loved living in New York. NY is where I'd consider home and I still get very homesick thinking about it sometimes. I think Vermont in particular was one of the most gorgeous states ive ever visited and the people were very friendly!!!! like unnervingly friendly idk maybe it was the proximity to Canada lol. Ive been talking to my partner lightly about moving out of this state once they finish college in a year and a half, and I mentioned moving back to New England area in general.

anyways, this feels all over the place!! I hope this helps and as always, im here if anyone has any questions!!!

[therainscene]

I think I might have figured out what the Mind Flayer really is.

This theory has been percolating in my brain for a while now; it hasn't really finished baking yet but I wanted to get the gist of it down before The First Shadow debuts.

Let’s begin at the Hawkins National Lab, 6th November 1983. For the second time in her young life, El faces terrifying and deeply traumatic circumstances which cause her powers to lash out and rip a gash in the fabric of reality.

Meanwhile, across town, Will is doing what every queer 12 year-old has done and finds an excuse to spend an extra moment alone with his crush.

His little gay heart is as aflutter as the garage lights.

(Strange, that. The lights, I mean -- considering that he's on the other side of town from the lab. Do you suppose the Demogorgon trekked all the way to Mike's house and quietly followed him home again?)

Will heads home, lost in thought as he cycles past the lab. Is he thinking about how sweet his new X-Men #134 is gonna be? Or is he thinking about something even sweeter? The lights flutter again.

And something in front of him notices.

Will has always been noticeable: his clothes, his mannerisms, his interests -- they've always attracted the attentions of bullies. Now something new -- or maybe something that was always there and is only now making itself known -- has attracted the attentions of a monster.

He runs home, he calls for help, but he's alone, there's no escape. He races to the shed and loads a gun like his father taught him -- but it's not in his nature to be violent. He freezes, petrified.

The lights surge as his terror wrestles control of his powers and uses them to puncture an escape route in the fabric of reality.

Why were we so quick to believe that the Demogorgon -- a minion of the guy whose whole thing is his inability to open gates -- was able to open its own temporary portals in S1 and then never again?

Will could plausibly have been responsible for every temporary portal in S1: he’s at the Byers house when the Demogorgon pushes through its walls; he's on the run to Castle Byers when Nancy stumbles across that portal in the woods; and he's plugged in to one of Vecna's vines during the finale -- something we see Vecna plug himself into when he remotely opens gates in S4.

There’s one exception though.

Barb likely slipped through a gate in Steve's pool, but how could Will have opened that one when he was in his bedroom at the time, talking to his mother through the lights?

Let me ask you this: isn't it interesting that of all the injuries Barb could have obtained in her passage to the Upside Down, she got a nosebleed?

I think powers are more common than we’ve been led to believe, and gates are a last-ditch self-defense mechanism for anyone with powers.

This is why the four curse victims’ deaths opened a gate: Vecna pushed them to their breaking point to artificially trigger the self-defense response. Those headaches and nosebleeds weren't caused by Vecna directly, but by their own powers acting up as they inched towards oblivion.

[Shoutout to @givehimthemedicine's underrated powers and blood theory for the idea of Vecna's Curse being the overcharging of his victims' own powers.]

It was already pretty obvious that Vecna's Curse is a metaphor for suicide, and this theory reinforces it: every kid who gets targeted by the horrors of Hawkins for being "different" tries to find some way to escape.

Willel's misfortune is that their powers are considerably more easily manifested than the average person's. Byler tells the story of visible vs invisible queerness, but that's just a reflection of the larger theme at play in the show: the visible and invisible ways kids are othered and abused.

Max's trauma was a quiet thing that came from within and festered until it was almost too late to save her... but Willel's trauma manifests as a giant monster that openly hunts them down.

And I'm being literal when I say the Mind Flayer is a manifestation of their trauma.

We know that Vecna fashioned the Mind Flayer from a cloud of black particles he found in the Upside Down, but where did that cloud come from? The Upside Down is a mysterious enough place that it's easy to assume the Shadow is native to that realm... but what if it isn't?

The Mind Flayer is heavily associated with repression -- Will gradually lost his memories while he was possessed, and El lost her powers when the sliver of Flesh Flayer wormed its way into her leg.

But Will has mysteriously been without powers ever since leaving the Upside Down, and we've seen El lose memories too: her memories of surviving the lab massacre, in which she didn't simply escape by opening up a gate, but by disintegrating her attacker into black particles.

The Mind Flayer doesn't cause repression -- it is repression.

There must have been countless generations worth of traumatized children who took the extra step El did and sent their abusers -- or at least their memories of abuse -- into that hidden realm beyond the gate.

(There's also the possibility that Mr. Time-is-Just-a-Social-Construct is stuck in a time loop of some sort -- maybe the massacre has repeated hundreds of times, and Dimension X is a timeless graveyard of El's attempts to repress her trauma. This would explain why Henry seems to have both disintegrated and survived: we were watching at least two different iterations of the massacre all along.)

Whichever way you slice it, it's a perfect fit: the tool Vecna uses to perpetuate the cycle of abuse isn't some bizarro alien from an alternate dimension, but a direct consequence of the cycle itself.

The Mind Flayer tells us that escape alone doesn't work as a long-term solution: it might help you survive the initial abuse, but if you don't address the effect it had on you...

...it will come back to wreck havok.

[Edit: Click here for post-TFS thoughts on this theory]

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What does Zuko do for Mai? She clearly puts a lot of effort into the relationship but he doesn't.

He had a lot of growing up to do before he could be in a relationship with ANY girl. Mai came through for him but he never did for her. It makes sense that he originally didn't have a love interest.

...You come into MY HOUSE to talk shit about MY BOY? And about MY SHIP? Anon, grab a sword, we're gonna fight!

Okay now, jokes aside, while Zuko has some maturing to do, so does Mai. And they'd still make mistakes even if their family lives hadn't deeply traumatized them because they're teenagers. Lots of the mistakes they've made (jealousy, poor communication, one accidentally being too aloof, etc) are stuff perfectly healthy and mature adults still make because surprise surprise, figuring out how to make things work with someone is hard, and considering their traumas and the situation they were in, they could have done A LOT worse.

Nothing either of them has done crosses the line into "Behavior that indicates this person should not be in a romantic relationship with ANYONE, at least for now." It's typical relationship stuff that either results on a permanent break-up or a temporary falling out that pushes both to get their shit together and be better for each other.

Not to mention, the root of all of Zuko's issues was the fact that he was abuse victim who was struggling to cope with his abuser being not only his own father but the absolute monarch of their nation. He got used to not being able to trust that someone's affection for him was genuine, to fear that it could suddenly be stolen away.

That he couldn't rely on anyone else because THE person that was supposed to take care of him betrayed him in such a cruel way and got away with it. That feeling entitled to things and then using whatever means to obtain it was the ONLY way to not be neglected, ignored and taken advantage of.

His abuser is gone now, but no matter how much therapy (or at least the ATLA equivalent of it) he gets, Zuko will only learn how to have healthy relationship through practical means because it's REALLY easy to be a good partner in THEORY, but things always get messy when you're dealing with the real thing.

Reality is very different from hypothetical scenarios in which you're dealing with the idea of a partner that never misunderstands you, never says things in a way that didn't realize weren't clear enough for you, never loses their temper, never takes things to heart, never fucks up, never needs a bit of space when you fuck up, never is as in the dark as you are about how to handle an unexpected issue, never gets too needy, never gets too distant - never acts like a human being.

Zuko still makes mistakes when it comes to his uncle and his friends, but no one says "That means Zuko should not have a father figure nor friends" because we saw that being alone Gives Him Very Bad Ideas. Why should romance be any different? A relative or a friend can hurt you just as much as a romantic partner can, and be just as hurt by stuff you do. It makes no sense to act like a flawed person is allowed to want a family and friends, but not a committed relationship.

As to what Mai gets out of this:

1 - Zuko loves her for who she is and canonically likes it when she expresses herself, even when what she is expressing is "Zuko, I'm done with your bullshit". For someone who has been neglected and taught over and over that her opinions don't matter, that means a lot.

2 - When Zuko changed sides, he didn't try to guilt her into leaving with him, and didn't hold it against her when it looked like she was gonna remain loyal to Azula. Compare that to her parents not giving a shit that she didn't want to move to Omashu, or to her knowing there was a possibility of her getting killed by Azula if she displeased her, and tell me in which relationship Mai feels she has the most agency.

Zuko is not a perfect boyfriend, but the simple fact that Mai isn't even slightly afraid to talk back to him when he goes too far speaks volumes on who she feels safer with and trusts to never try to coerce her into staying if she ever decides to leave.

3 - Mai and Zuko enjoy each other's company, are attracted to each other and he is as openly affectionate with her as she is with him. Even the sea-shell she didn't like and the ice-cream he accidentally dropped on her lap were just him trying to spoil her a bit - and he managed to do it in a way she'd appreciate in Nightmares and Daydreams.

He can be a jerk sometimes due to his anger issues (something he canonically was working on and wanted to move past), but he could also be a genuinely caring boyfriend.

4 - Zuko was also neglected and made to feel worthless for most of his life. They can relate to each other.

5 - Three years into his banishment, after no seeing her for a long time and unsure if he'd ever even hear from her again, he still thought of how Azula pulled a prank on them because of Mai's crush on him.

He constantly sought her out for comfort when he was back in the Fire Nation, even when she didn't really know how to handle that yet. Out of all the things he had left behind when he joined the Gaang, she was the one he openly said he'd miss. He was overjoyed when they were reunited in the finale.

Even his not at all healthy levels of jealousy are extra proof that he isn't just putting up with her like her family, he cares about her and actively WANTS her in his life, to the point of being scared that someone could "steal" her from him - and again, Mai feels more than comfortable enough to call him out when he goes too far, so it never crosses the line into "He means well, so lets excuse the bad behavior."

Mai feels wanted, safe and understood. Girl could do a lot worse.

[fractualized]

Alright. Let's break down this "oh" of an ending. NEGATIVE NANCY, COMING THROUGH

Spoilers, ho!

Ending a story is hard, if they're long or short. Whether you wrap up key threads or leave them open, you want some kind of takeaway that puts a period on things. Even in comics, where we know these characters will go on and on, ideally a story will end in a way that just... fits. Even amateur fic writers have loads of WIPs just sitting there because exactly how to end this damn thing eludes them.

I don't know if Rosenberg had an ending in mind when he started The Man Who Stopped Laughing. I don't know if he decided he'd figure it out by the end of it's year-long run. I don't know if DC Editorial lets people do that; it sounds insane, but if you've been paying attention to their current level of editorial "oversight," which I imagine is supposed to make concurrent titles mesh together reasonably well, I wouldn't be shocked if they let people wing it. Or, more likely, perhaps DC Editorial swooped in and made Rosenberg change the ending he had planned and that's why the result falls flat.

In any case, after 11 issues of enjoying myself, I'm left feeling deflated.

But let's start where #12 does, with the Joker who's been told he's John Keyser, a toxin'd henchmen that the real Joker made into a doppelganger for funsies. He approaches a hotdog vendor.

I'm stuck on "Hello. I've been looking for you"?? I didn't catch that on my first read. Joker has a favorite hotdog vendor? lol

Shut up, Waffles!! All we have is your word for it!!

In any case, hey, Keyser Joker has already been Jokering this long, so yeah, why not keep going? And why not with help from poor woobie Jason, fresh from nearly getting himself killed in Gotham War?

Bruce did not fix Jason at the end of Gotham War, so his adrenaline is still triggering fear in his brain. But Keyser Joker has a solution for that!

It's a tiny dose of Joker toxin to take the edge off of Bruce's programming. Joker makes a point of saying that the effects are only temporary, though. (And like, I assume this is just the quick-fix solution Rosenberg came up with to pull off his own ending when told Bruce's plans for Jason over in the other titles.) Jason is skeptical of this "help," naturally, but Keyser Joker brings up their matching interest: getting rid of the other Joker.

Jason, why you gotta ruin Albert's good time? 🙄

Cut to Red Hood dragging a clown henchman through the streets of Gotham.

But "his" face being blacked out and some of the dialogue clue the reader in: things aren't what they seem.

DERAIL TIME: what is up with this batmobile?

Like from some other angles, it looks sportier, but in most of the panels it looks like an old Buick? lol ANYWAY.

With the flaily way this person jumps off the bike and runs, I was sure that this was Keyser Joker and we might see Batman interact with him. Alas.

It's Ravager, who survived last issue's explosion. She's helping Jason 1) distract Batman and 2) get Albert out of harm's way, far from Keyser Joker's plan.

Naturally Keyser Joker is planning something more destructive than he's led Jason to believe. Also like…

The idea that Keyser Joker really is this John guy, not the real deal, is still not sitting fucking right with me. Seeing him here in another costume, with a goofy death train with mismatched eyes just like his, it feels like a signal that he actually is Joker and Waffles is either lying or mistaken somehow. Like compared to the other Joker, who we haven't seen in a costume? Who left Gotham for weird reasons? I really thought there was going to be a reverse reveal.

And since it doesn't come, I guess it's a good time to mention that! There is no reverse reveal of who the real Joker is. Things get a little muddy later, but…. hrm. HRM.

That said, the other Joker does something pretty dang Jokery: he shows up in a dirigible with his face on it.

Killer Moth and a bunch of clown goons (that aren't supposed to be available because of Gotham War but WHATEVER) attach the dirigible to the train and it's pretty chaotic!

I love when villains are like, "Look I may kill people, but an endangered gorilla?! Get outta here!" 😂

Jason also arrives in style.

I guess he was observing Ravager's distraction?? Which feels like it defeats part of the purpose of having her do the distraction. But then he couldn't have this cool entrance in which he bludgeons people with a motorcycle. Trade offs!

Meanwhile, Real Joker makes it to the front of the train to confront Keyser Joker. One of Real's goons offers to shoot Keyser, but Real Joker wants to make this personal and kills the poor hench so he can do it himself.

Jason coming in like YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH 😎

Then he gets the bad news.

Keyser is as casually suicidal as your average Joker! Also "Real" Joker never acknowledges Red Hood's identity, afaik. It's always Keyser Joker. Details like this got me thinking that reverse reveal was coming, AND YET.

That aside, next comes a fun comedy beat.

Real Joker going right for the hair!

Jason isn't going to let this be the end of it, of course, and once again Killer Moth must suffer at his hands.

Jason shoots so many clowns. Just never the one he wants. 😞

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait wait wait. You're telling me that Bruce knew about the imminent TWO JOKERS situation. But he decided to prioritize a report of Red Hood dragging a clown through the streets. When in the same breath he's saying there are other people coming to the scene with him, so he obviously could've sent someone else? On the same day Batman #139 is like "oooh Bruce is totally onto Joker now"? This is what you're telling me?? Augh.

Well, we can't rely on Batman right now, clearly, so it's up to Jason.

Meanwhile, Keyser Joker has told the other one that he actually does have a secret way off the runaway train safely. After they fight some more, the tune starts to change.

Alright so, this "deal," which would sort of start them back at square one, doesn't bother me because obviously it's on shaky-ass ground and one of them is definitely killing the other before this issue is over. What does bug me is the "franchising" line, for two reasons:

1) Is this supposed to imply that Real Joker is the one who was behind Joker Incorporated in the Batman Incorporated issues, not a third one?

2) I was just SO SURE it was another indication we were getting a reverse reveal. Joker absolutely does not love the franchising idea. That's kind of been the point of this whole series. The genuine Joker in Keyser Joker's hallucination/memory said that having two Jokers around is stupid. HRRRRMMM.

Anyhow, they leave the train together, though the escape plan is literally just jumping off, which has more issues than they bargained for.

So do you think, assuming the Gotham War writers actually communicated at least a little, that Zdarsky asked Rosenberg what he needed Jason for at the end of TMWSL, and Rosenberg was like, "oh I need him to heroically crash a toxic blimp and almost die?" And then Zdarsky was like, "er, I need him to heroically fly a plane into a magic meteor and almost die?" And then they just shrugged and closed the Zoom?

But yeah, the blimp crashes, and I'm sort of confused because I thought that earlier Bruce was saying that even if the toxin gets into the water, it'll still make it's way to the city. So for one thing, it's still exploding in the air and it's still gonna drift. And the parts that dissolve in water are still gonna drift. There's a part to the equation missing here.

But these two are just thrilled at the excitement.

Until the sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

BUT WHO WAS JOKE

Shortly after this, Ravager shows up with Manhunter, who also survived last issue's explosion. (It just doesn't come up at all. Like it doesn't have to, I guess, but it's just weird that there's not a word or wound about it.) Ravager dives into the water looking for Jason, because she instinctually knows he did something grand and dumb. She finds him among the clown bodies and brings him to shore.

Nothing can kill this man! He came back from the dead with nine lives! And also maybe that Lazarus resin from TFZ is still helping, I dunno.

Elsewhere along the shore, what's left of both Jokers' crews find themselves waiting in the same spot for the Joker they expect to be triumphant.

You know what. I'm soured on Waffles now. Leave him.

And then, from the water…

And that's it. That's how it ends. With a sort of snide cop-out?

Like, it's Joker's POV, so yeah, you could say the dickish tone is just him. But following this story for a year, and then seeing it end with simply the old "you'll never know which Joker prevailed," it doesn't feel clever or whatever this is going for. It just feels obnoxious.

Honestly, it feels like the same takeaway as freaking Three Jokers. 😐 That it doesn't matter who Joker is. All the lead-up to this, where maybe we get a tiny bit of depth and development, even if just in this story, eh. Doesn't matter! We're ending this with blah payoff.

On the other hand, the part of about about there being more questions, about this ending not being tidy, makes me think that this is leaving open the possibility that Keyser Joker actually was the real one. After all, we don't get a flashback to the actual events. The events we see are part of a hallucination, and Keyser never said he had clear memories of being the real or the fake one. He just went from assuming he was the real one to taking Waffles' word for it that he was the henchman.

Also, Keyser Joker was always the Joker giving narration. And the narration boxes for the Final Joker at the end remain in his style. So it seems like we actually have a huge indication of which Joker prevailed-- unless we're meant to assume that if the other Joker prevailed, he merely took over the narration.

I mean, this is what we have. So if I can just choose what I want to believe, I'm going to believe both that Keyser was actually the real guy and that he won. But it puts a real sour taste in my mouth to be super engaged with a story and wanting an ending that says something about Joker's character… and the ending is just that one murders the other and you don't know who, neener neener. It's anticlimactic. It's a predictable direction that I thought SURELY Rosenberg wouldn't go in. It feels like a dick move.

And... what else is there to say? So ends my year of consistently buying a comic, I guess. Nothing else has really grabbed me like TMWSL did, though City of Madness looks promising. After the multiverse and Gotham War stuff, I'm not about to start picking up Zdarsky's Batman. #139 had plenty I should enjoy, but it's soured by Zdarsky deciding to bring a canonical take to the three Jokers concept for some ungodly reason.

A new three Jokers take feels extra stupid after a year of a story about two Jokers. And the second Joker in TMWSL isn't even taken into account in Zdarsky's story. Based off that #135 scene, it really looks like he's going to say that Darwin Halliday accidentally copied TKJ Joker somehow. lmao Why. Why do we have to do this. Why can't this just be one of the things that gets retconned away. I just want my murderclown to be fun.

I need to get back to my list of unread older comics. Or read One Operation Joker! I didn't think I was interested, but I think a random goofy premise is actually just what I need.

[this-is-moony-lovegood]

Just watched a buddie edit to Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, and I’m sitting here thinking of a plot line where Buck goes by himself to get Chris.

Like Eddie is suffering back in LA and Buck is like fuck it I’m bringing Chris home because Eddie doesn’t deserve this shit. So he gets in his Jeep and he drives 800 miles to El Paso and he shows up at Helena and Ramon’s house to get Christopher. And Helena and Ramon try to fight him on this of course and Buck is chewing them out for trying to keep Chris even thought this was supposed to be temporary and all they’re doing is pushing the narrative that Eddie’s a shitty father and that Chris should stay in El Paso permanently. And Chris wakes up and sees Buck and rushes out to him and is so scared he’s here alone because Eddie is hurt or dead, and Buck just tells him that Eddie is physically okay but it’s time for Chris to come home. Buck tells him that even if he isn’t ready to stay at the Diaz house that he can stay at the loft with him, or Buck will move into the Diaz house to be a barrier if that’s what Chris wants but he needs to be back in LA. Obviously Buck is desperate but he’s also being parental, and Chris immediately goes to pack his shit so they can go home. Once against Helena and Ramon try to fight him on it, but Buck whips out the will card and says that even if Eddie is “unfit to be a parent right now” like they say, that responsibility actually goes to Buck not them and they have a problem with that they can contact his lawyer who will promptly tell them to “fuck off”.

Then, you get the drive back to LA where Chris and Buck have a full on heart to heart about Eddie. Buck talks to Chris about how his dad knows he messed up and has been trying to work on himself to fix it, but he can’t get any better with Chris if Chris isn’t willingly to put in the effort on his end. And a Chris talks about his grief over his mom and how that’s something he thought he could handle until little things keep pulling him back in like the dating plot in season 7, and obviously the Kim situation. So, Buck suggests they go the route of talking about Shannon and what Chris remembers so they spend some time talking about her in the car. The talk about her leaving (on her own and her death), and how no one will ever replace her in his life (and how he feels like his dad has been trying to do that when he dates, but all it doesn’t bring up more trauma when they break up and they leave). “I wish dad could see that he doesn’t need to replace mom in my life. I already have two parents: dad and you.” To which Buck has to pull the car over because he’s gonna lose it at his kid calling him a parent for the first time. “You, me, and dad are already a family. Why can’t both of you just understand that the three of us is all we need?” Which gets them on the topic of implying that Buck and Eddie would be dating/married for it to solely be the three of them (and a reminder that Buck has a boyfriend), to which Chris just tells him that he already knows they’re in love with each other, so why can’t they be honest about it and have dad stop dating women and Buck break up with Tommy. Which has Buck’s head spinning because, “your dad is straight, Chris” to which Chris says, “So were you four months ago, Buck. Look what happened?” And now Buck is spiraling once again because holy shit he’s in love with Eddie and maybe, just maybe Eddie’s in love with him too.

When they stop for a bathroom break Buck calls and breaks up with Tommy. Tommy knows exactly what’s happening the moment he answers, and tells him it was only a matter of time until Buck figured it out.

They get back to LA and pull up to the Diaz house. Eddie hasn’t heard from Buck is like four days so he’s been worrying because he called out of work and he never does that, but all of his words die on his tongue the moment he sees Chris. And Chris, who has barely spoken to him in the past four months barrels his way into Eddie’s arms. And Eddie breaks down crying at getting his son back. “What are you doing here? How are you here?” And Chris replies with, “Buck came and got me. He told me it was time to come home.” And Eddie just takes a moment to think that over, lets Chris go and throws himself into Buck’s arms for a massive hug. And Eddie is practically sobbing into his chest repeating “thank you” on a loop. And Buck who is an empathetic crier, just tells him, “you know I’d do anything for our family, Eds.”

They don’t kiss or anything, but Buck and Chris make eye contact over Eddie’s shoulder with a silent agreement that they’re going to figure this out. And when Eddie is ready, the three of them are going to officially be a family.

[tumblezwei]

I am a Ruan Mei defender, not because I think she's a blameless misunderstood character, but bc I am very afraid of people interpreting her terrible actions as bad writing bc "the game still expects us to like her" or overexaggerating her bad traits in order to make Dr. Ratio look better by comparison.

And that's not to say I think Ratio is a "bad" guy either, I think the whole point of introducing him alongside Ruan Mei was to highlight how different the Genius Society operates compared to "normal" academics. Ratio's over the top arrogance makes him off-putting at first, but his genuine desire to spread knowledge to everyone who wants to learn it is the perfect contrast to the obsession and selfishness of the Genius Society, who only ever care about fulfilling their own desires without concern for those below them. Even Screwllum, the member who seems the most sociable and friendly, let Ratio carry on with his antics on the space station just to see what would happen, even though it put the Trailblazer in danger and threatened the whole facility.

So that is to say, Ruan Mei is like that on purpose. We aren't supposed to see her drugging us and sending us after an incomplete Emanator of Propagation and be confused as to how she's a "goody guy." She isn't. None of the members of the Genius Society are "good" people just bc we're allied with them. Herta uses Traliblazer as a guinea pig for the Simulated Universe after all, and we now know that as long as it's something he's curious about, Screwllum won't interfere to protect us even when he's already figured out the solution to the problem we're facing.

But I also want to do a little apologism for Ruan Mei bc sometimes the accusations I see lobbed at her is a bit much. Like, yeah, she drugged us, but it was a temporary inhibitor that literally only stopped us from giving people information about Ruan Mei. And she didn't do it just to fuck with us? Ruan Mei is incredibly aware of how emotionally detached she is and knows it's almost impossible for her to understand the affection given to her by her creations. She doesn't drug us out of some evil desire to control information, she does it bc she knows her time on the space station is temporary and wants to avoid leaving behind any memories of her being there. That doesn't make it okay and it's still presented alongside everything else she does that's uncaring towards TB and her creations, but it makes it a little more complicated than just "she's an unfeeling sociopath that would happily watch us die." It's bad, but it's also one of Ruan Mei's weird and not good ways of showing consideration.

It's interesting, is what I'm saying. It's compelling. And I don't really dig how it she gets reduced to a two-bit manipulator.

I'm a bit of a stickler for this particular thing bc it's something I truly adore about HSR's writing, and also something I see as one of the game's core themes. There is no clear divide between "good" guys and "bad" guys. The Genius Society is full of emotionally constipated weirdos who wouldn't pay a single bit of attention to us if we weren't interesting to them, but they're also important allies to the Express. The Stelleron Hunters are our biggest opposition and wreak havoc on whatever planet they enter, but we know that their goals somewhat align with our own and unless you go out of your way to be mean to her with every dialogue option, it's pretty obvious that Kafka is someone Trailblazer loves.

And even Cocolia, someone who almost destroyed the last remnants of civilization on her own planet, gets treated with sympathy. Bronya is allowed to mourn her mother and still see her as an aspirational figure, all the while Serval is allowed to break off ties with her and definitively move on from her past.

It's a theme that carries over to a lot of HSR's important side quests too, where often you're expected to choose between two options that both have some pretty heavy downsides no matter what. You have your own moral compass, and along the way the choices may seem crystal clear, but it's never so black and white as you predict. It's a game about decisions, about making your own way in life and learning about the different worldviews of those you meet. Good or bad, helpful or hurtful, it's not always so obvious as "this person did something bad to me, now I will forever dislike them."

"When there is the chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret," "explore, understand, establish, and connect," "the Express welcomes everyone" etc etc

[auncyen]

Normally, you're happy to visit the Head Housemaiden's office. You've dedicated your life to Change since you came to the House, and she's guided you for many of those years, first as a teacher in various courses you took and then as a mentor as you made more and more Changes. She was even considering naming you as her successor, as her hair loses its darkness and she feels ready to take new Changes more slowly and languidly than most practicing Housemaidens. But right now, she looks at you with pity in her eyes, and you feel ice in your stomach.

"I've noticed a Change in you, Euphrasie. I'm not sure if you're aware of it…or perhaps you are, but didn't wish to talk about it," she says, adding on that last bit as some twitch in your face betrays you.

Your hands wring each other in your lap. "I'm sorry," you say.

The potential for Change is a motivating force for the faith's adherents. But all but the most innocent children know that Change is not always good. Change requires Destruction, and Change is not always voluntary or desirable.

This Change is terrifying.

"I should have told you when it started, but I thought perhaps I was just tired, or stressed--I thought it was temporary, or that I could Change to be able to work around it, but--" It's getting harder and harder to explain yourself as tears choke your throat and spring up in your eyes. You wanted to give yourself time to adapt, and in so stole time from Amandine. She could have had another successor picked by now.

"Euphrasie." Amandine reaches an open hand across her desk, and you take it. She gives your hand a gentle squeeze, and when you look at her through the haze of tears you glimpse her kind smile, one you've striven to emulate. "I'm not upset, only concerned. Changes of the mind can be very difficult to cope with, and I'm worried you've been trying to deal with this alone."

It takes at least three more minutes of crying before you can speak again. Amandine can surely discern the answer from that alone, but she waits patiently for you to speak again, her thumb rubbing over your hand in a calming gesture. "I--I didn't know what to say," you admit. "I'm--forgetting my tasks, forgetting words--I'm worried I can't even be a Housemaiden anymore, and I don't want that. I love being a Housemaiden! It's all I've ever wanted."

"You will always be welcome in this House, Euphrasie. Never doubt that," Amandine says, and you grasp onto those words even if they're not quite enough. You want to be a Housemaiden still, you want to help others Change, you want to remember. The number of things you've forgotten of late makes you feel so hopelessly adrift. "We need to figure out what is causing the Change. That's the only way to address it properly. You might still be right that it's a temporary issue of stress, and I think a break from duties may be good for you. It may be a health issue, and I do hope you'll get a check up soon and let me know if there's any support you need from the House if the physician finds anything. I was also wondering if it might be…"

She's considering you uncertainly, and you feel a new wave of trepidation wash over you. "If it might be what?"

"I don't want to hurt you by asking," she says, immediately grimacing at herself. "Let me put it this way. You say you've only ever wanted to be a Housemaiden, but is that right?"

"…Yes?" you whisper.

"I don't mean to doubt you," she says, and you wait for her to continue because you don't know how that's supposed to be anything but doubt. "Euphrasie, I remember you being different from most Housemaidens because you made a major Change before formally becoming one. I remember you had a different name, and came from a different land, and converted from a different belief. But when I try to think of the details, I get the biggest crabbing headache." She smiles in an attempt at lightheartedness, but her brow is wrinkled with worry. "But I am getting older myself. Am I wrong? Were you always a Vaugardian, an adherent of Change?"

You open your mouth to say yes, of course you've always been, it's all you remember--

"Who were you before you came to this House?"

That's such an easy question, and you start over again to tell her.

And then you start again.

And again, and again, fresh tears spilling out of you as you start to tremble. Amandine squeezes your hand. "Forget I asked, Euphrasie. Please. Breathe. Please, I'm sorry--"

How can you forget? Now that you've glimpsed how vast and yawning the hole in your mind is, how can you forget? "I can't remember. I can't remember, I can't, oh Change, I'm broken--"

Amandine's hand leaves you briefly as she gets up from her chair and circles the desk to hug you. She has to bend down a little, with you still sitting, but not very far. She's on the shorter side, and you're rather tall. Why are you tall? You don't know. You don't know. You don't know why any part of you is the way it is. You grab onto her like you're drowning at sea.

She rubs a hand on your back, soothing, and waits for you to cry yourself out as if you're the child you can't remember ever being. The shoulder of her dress is thoroughly soaked by the time you run out of tears, still shuddering with horror. There's a headache raging through your skull. You slowly manage to open your arms and let her go, though you're relieved that she doesn't let go of you completely, keeping a steadying hand on one shoulder.

"I'm going to help you however I can," Amandine promises. "You started forgetting things about two months ago, didn't you?"

You have to think hard through the pounding headache, and your throat feels too dry to speak, but you manage a nod.

"That fits, then…Euphrasie, I think you're from the island that vanished two months ago."

[delopsia]

delly, i’m not really sure what you’d like to do with this (if anything), but the idea came to me in the middle of a big plate of pasta, so… bone apple teeth!

*whispers* i’m rambling here, forgive me

the hawthorn trio come into a small litter of puppies a la our good pal, archie! maybe it’s a little sudden 🥺 a dirty box on the side of a country road, but luckily the puppies are just old enough to not need a bottle to feed.

they’re still worried, though, and they become a lovingly spoiled little bunch in the floytt household. one could (funnily) think they’d get “one each”, y’know, 3 puppies and 3 people, but no. they all take an extreme liking to bobby. listening to him the most, seeking him out the most…

“sky daddy” rhett affectionately calls him when he’s curled up on the couch with 3 fluffy babies all over him.

“well what’re you then, land daddy?” he asks one day while they’re on a walking trail with the puppies. “sounds like a lawnmower.”

rhett and reader laugh, loud and bright in the crisp autumn air, all the way home.

when they hit the long drive, rhett unlatches the puppied and races them up to the house. eventually, they start expecting this after every walk.

rhett and reader can already tell bobby wants to keep all three of them… and no matter what, they’re not going to be the ones to break his heart. they’ve got the space and resources. they’ll just have to make the time with the rest of their responsibilities. but watching him on the floor with what are quickly growing into what appear to be three little wolves (maybe they’re husky mixes), trying to get them to listen to giggly commands is certainly a sight.

the puppys biggest vice is gnawing on their hands—mainly bobby and rhett because they let them 🙄 i do think the puppies do it with reader, too, but reader is trying to do that trick where you go “ow!” to try to teach the puppy in question that using their teeth can hurt. and it… works. most the time.

bobby jokes that puppy teeth are nothing compared to rhett’s.

(he’s gonna get them into some classes, don’t you worry, honeybee)

one day, the baby of the bunch gets rhett pretty good (for a puppy) while they’re playing, and rhett makes an offhand comment about needing to do something about this.

bobby just comes over to take the puppy, but not before lifting up to meet rhett’s eye. “pot, meet kettle.”

rhett does not tackle him, on account of the baby in his arms.

(omg delly, what are you naming the puppies?)

💐 t

ohhh my goodness, puppies!! 😭💐 this ask is so cute, omg. I spent way too long trying to find pictures to add to this. I cannot imagine actually living with three husky mixes (the one I have is PLENTY), but the idea of it?? Sign me up

Archie is only supposed to be coming over to bring back a few tools he borrowed from Rhett. It's only a handful of wrenches and a cordless drill, you know, stuff that you can carry in your hands without any help. So when Rhett watches Archie pull a whole cardboard box out of the passenger seat, he's more than confused.

And for some reason, that box is whimpering.

"Found 'em up o'er yonder on Butter Street," he tells you as a little ball of fur pokes its nose out of the top. "Figured... y'know, there's three of 'em 'n...three of y'all."

Bob and the two cats (Egg and Duchess) are standing in the living room like "we are not taking in three puppies." But Rhett's already got the three squirming babies in his arms, and one of them is licking your nose, and it's just so hard for him to keep telling you no.

So they become 'temporary' residents until they're old enough to find homes elsewhere. And he keeps insisting that they're not keeping them, even when he takes a nap on the couch with the three fuzzy babies.

"You're gettin' attached."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, y' are."

And Bob just keeps saying it.

Even when he watches Rhett and a stampede of puppies race each other up the driveway. Even when they snuggle up on his chest, when they cry until someone caves and brings them up into the bed, and when Duchess starts bathing the tiny black and white one.

He's not attached, but you catch him gathering them up into his arms and kissing the tops of their little heads. He's taught two of the three to sit and shake (the third is an ornery little bastard), and well...well, they need to stay another week.

Did you know that it's recommended that the litter stay together until they're twelve weeks? Oh, oh, wait, he misspoke. Sixteen weeks. They need to stay sixteen weeks. Yeah, he read that in a book! It's definitely true and not at all something he just made up on the spot.

You know what he's doing. Rhett knows what he's doing. But Bob doesn't actually admit that he wants to keep them until after Rhett tells a little white lie and says that his coworker wants one of them.

"Well, who said we were getting rid of them?"

"You did!"

"Well...I changed my mind."

And that is how you wind up keeping all three little girls 🌷 (from left to right): Fern, Sage, and Primrose.

Fern is the golden child. She's such a well-mannered sweetie, easy to train, gentle when taking treats, quiet, was the only one to not tear apart the toilet paper roll…

Sage is an odd one; she listens well and learns just as quickly as Fern does, but she's been known to only follow commands when she knows that she's being watched. Also happens to be the one who is notorious for digging under the fence and figuring out how to open doors.

Then you have Primrose. She's the dog version of Duchess. Won't step through water on walks, turns her nose up at dry kibble, and only sleeps on the bed/the orthopedic dog mattress. It takes a lot of effort to get her training to stick.

Rhett's biting habit may have been what influenced the puppies and their nipping because nobody really remembers them doing that when they first arrived? But you're actively trying to train them out of it, while Rhett just has one chewing on him like a bone.

Eventually, they just learn who is chewable and who is not (🙄)

Do you think Bob can get away with signing Rhett up for one of the obedience classes? Or will a chew toy help curb his nibbling habit...

"Pot meet kettle" 😭 Rhett can't even complain about the puppy bites because he himself is a hundred times worse, and Bob has the workplace embarrassment to prove it.

[tommyofspeed-a]

Drabble # 1 — post young avengers present #6

He doesn’t stop running until he’s miles away from the building on the Upper East Side. Away from the trouble he could get into for breaking into the temporary Avengers Tower. And away from Kate Bishop.

And it's only when he stops that he starts to actually think about what he did. And realize just how much of a jerk he’d been.

“Well, but you are a jerk, aren’t you, Tommy?” he muttered to himself, shaking his head angrily.

Yeah, most of the time, to most people. But he’d never gone so far as to abandon someone, to leave a friend behind in a moment of trouble. He thought he wasn’t like that. But… well, maybe he’d been wrong.

“Then again…” he tried to argue with himself, forcing a small smile that quickly faded. “We were only there because she wanted her bow back. If she hadn’t talked about it…”

He stopped, closing his eyes tightly before rubbing a hand over his face. That was a lousy excuse, and he knew it. From the start, this whole thing was his idea. Because he had second intentions, of course. He wanted to hook up with her, and the quickest way to do that was to please her, right? Also, committing a little crime didn't seem a bad idea at that point. It was exciting. 

So he’d convinced her and brought her there, thinking he was helping her, that she deserved her equipment back—that it was unfair it had been taken from her, and he could help her get it. But then… the Avengers showed up, and he kida panicked.

He hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t planned on anything other than sneaking in and getting the gear without being noticed. He didn't plan that far ahead nor did he had a plan for if they get caught. Because that wasn't supposed to happen.

"She did said go—" He reminded himself, only to add. "but was she talking about going home or for you to get out of there?" He didn't know for sure, and he didn't stay to find out.

Because he just ran. Without thinking twice. Without doing something to get Kate out of there too. He just listen the aproaching avengers, and the word go and he just ran, without thinking much about her. He left her to her own devices in a split second.

They went in there together, but he left alone.

He escaped like a jerk. Like a coward. He was well aware of that now. But now was too late.

"Which is ironic, because you could have had all the time in the world to think about it, but you didn't."

But what else could he have done? He couldn’t risk getting caught and thrown back in juvie, even though this whole mess was his idea. And if anyone had to take the blame for this little silly heist, he figured Kate would get off easier than he would. Maybe that was her plan all along? Cover for him? Even after everything? The older Avengers actually liked her, right? They wouldn't go too hard on her.

“You’re a damn idiot,” he muttered to himself. “There was plenty you could’ve done, don’t lie to yourself. You could’ve taken her out of there with you. But you didn’t, because you’re a damn idiot who only thinks about yourself. What a joke of a hero.”

He leaned against the wall of the alley where he’d ended up, cursing himself.

In the past, this wouldn’t have bothered him at all. He wouldn't spend a second thinking about what had just happened. He’d gotten himself out—what else mattered? But now… things were different. He was feeling guilty. Because he knew he’d put Kate in trouble. And Kate… well, he really liked Kate. For real. Not only because she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She was just great in every way too. She was a teammate, his partner, and the funniest, most badass girl he’d ever met.

He knew he might have blown any chance he’d ever had with her because of this. But he hoped, deep down, he hadn’t ruined his chances of being her friend moving forward. Besides Billy, Kate was the only one who actually seemed to enjoy his presence in the Young Avengers, and they were a solid team together. He couldn't stand the idea of having broken her trust.

And this was a new kind of pain that he never felt before. He hated it.

He sighed, feeling defeated. "Ok Tommy, think about it." He told himself. "What can you do?"

Right now, he had three options: he could go back, but he knew that was a terrible idea. The Avengers would still be there, and it would only turn things into an even bigger mess, no matter how fast he was.

The second option was to wait a bit, then head over to Kate’s place and apologize. See if she was okay. But Tommy knew that was an even worse idea. She’d be probably furious with him, and rightfully so, and he’d probably get a punch in the face or an arrow to dodge (which he knew he deserved).

The last and best option was to go home and try to fix this mess tomorrow, that is, if Kate even wanted to talk to him after that. She probably wouldn't, and he couldn’t blame her for that. That was on him, and as much as he hated to admit, he knew fixing it would take time, It would be slow, but he’d have to try.

He was willing to do whatever it took to make it up to her.

[twilightichor]

So I've been rudely woken up and I can't seem to go back to sleep easily again, so I'll be channeling that into an opinion post over a leak concerning Khaenri'ah that made me silently scream in my pillow until this melatonin gummy kicks me back to bed!

If this leak is to have any credence, apparently there was a revolt against the Vinster King —Irmin— for the shit he was meaning to unfold that was described in a couple of ways such as: rocking the foundations of the world and tearing the veil of sin. These point out towards one action which is "breaking the seal of the Irminsul Maze", whatever that is supposed to mean. In any case, I'm not surprised in the slightest that Irminsul is related to this as Teyvat's Axis Mundi, the one tree that feeds the rest of the world with the elements throughout its Ley Lines and a myriad of things more such as being a barrier from the Abyss, carry souls and record the memories of the world. My personal belief with the little information we have so far on this topic is that whatever Irmin wanted to do is to remove whatever protective barrier Irminsul has against the Abyss to throw everything into it, as it's suggested in the statuettes that represent his figure.

To elaborate a little bit more into the rebellion before jumping at the meaty stuff to me, this rebellion not only overthrew King Irmin but the entire imperial court in itself, which does line up with the General Marshal Anfortas taking over as a temporary regent until a different one is chosen. Now, what confuses me about this is if this was the precursor for the cataclysm to take place in Khaenri'ah or if it was a previous disaster. Given Dain's choice of word, it was as if the destruction happened when the gods descended and that it was destroyed by them, so it's possible that even though King Irmin was indisposed and no royal members had any business in the monarchy any longer, that these events may have happened concurrently while the Alberich regent was present. For my little theorycrafting heart and what I do remember having theorized in the past, I was elated to find out about the rebellion as I wondered about the possibility of something like that occurring in Khaenri'ah inspired by the Princess Mina books.

Moving on with what King Irmin wanted to do and what it wound up provoking, what continues is pretty much what Dain had explained in 「Bedtime story」 with a bit more of details. As he said, the five who carried the hopes and dreams of Khaenri'ah that would later be called sinners are described as heroes, and the five of them and Dain were supposed to stop him from rocking the foundations of the world. He doesn't give more details about this, but what follows is that not only they couldn't prevent the disaster that would unfold as a consequence of the king's actions, but that apparently, the five heroes' actions contributed to the cataclysm, the destruction of Khaenri'ah and they didn't raise a finger to do anything about it. Apparently, Khaenri'ah was wiped out in a single night for all of this. As a result, the five heroes, the people who carried Khaenri'ah's hopes and dreams would be deemed as sinners and feared by the people.

Something that confuses me about this whole thing is that it's possible that what Dain described as the five of them succumbing to the Abyss and dividing among them this world-shattering power may have happened during their attempt at stopping the Vinster King, which is... odd to me. Mainly because we know that Rhinedottir has been creating these abyssal beasts as far back in time as the Crimson Moon dynasty, the wolves were used as weapons by a part of the army named beastmaster knights until this fell into disuse and automatons started to be used instead. Moreover, there is something odd about the notion that at least two souls (Durin and Elynas'), who were already pre-existing into some other plane of existence, were given a body that ultimately had the abyss nasties. And this was provoked by Gold herself, however she always gave form to what would be monsters later despite the pure souls of at least these two beasts. Surtalogi is known for being the creator of the Foul Legacy, alternatively translated as a technique of extreme evil and his moral compass seems to be questioning to be kind if we think back at what Skirk described about the Narwhal and what Surtalogi's actions with it were, uncaring of the consequences they would lead. The other one we have a bit of information about is Vedrfolnir, a Visionary and the one who inspired Chlothar to create the Abyss Order (probably as a means for the Loom of Fate creation, as Chlothar was already yapping about it before an even bigger tragedy struck Caribert).

All of these evidences point to me that at least three out of the five sinners were already suspicious and yet they were deemed heroes up until that point close to the cataclysm, which is the main point of my confusion. But knowing that part of the populace was also obsessed with the Abyss, it's also possible that, if they had already shared among them the power of the abyss or flirted with it and did questionable things in the past, that these were accepted by those people until it exploded in their face and struck fear in them due to what it can do. This would line up with what Chlothar described as Lumine being Khaenri'ah's hope, the one who was meant to bring prosperity to them because she was viewed as the embodiment of the Abyss, once again nodding towards the collective obsession part of the people had towards it. If maybe this happened a little earlier than the cataclysm did or some people were already fearful of the "heroes" for reasons (all of this is still very obscure for a lack of details) and after having endured the fall of a maddened king, it's little wonder that they would revere Lumine so highly as to make her their princess. Once again, to those who were still obsessed with the Abyss despite what was boiling / caused to Khaenri'ah.

Lastly, on to the part that I feel like connects to Dain even more directly is the part of the Irminsul Maze and... maybe or maybe not the link to one of the titles he holds: Bough Keeper. As if I wasn't elated enough at the even stronger confirmation of his connection with Irminsul, this sealed the deal for me even further. Because what was insinuated was that whatever the five sinners did either backfired terribly and later on they didn't care at all or they themselves snapped and made things worse when they were meant to stop King Irmin. While Dain's actions are obscured, I can't help but be excited at the notion that he tried to do something about Irminsul (either because of his already established connection with it at the time or the newly founded connection after that moment, it's unclear) and that unfortunately it wasn't enough to prevent the disaster nevertheless. Thinking about how irrational Lumine sounded in blaming Dain for failing to protect Khaenri'ah (while, comically enough, being part of Vedrfolnir's project with the Abyss Order and the Loom of Fate and one of the sinners), maybe this could be the reason why she blames him. That maybe he could do something about it, but for xyz reasons he couldn't. Still unfair to pin the blame for the kingdom's destruction on him in my opinion, but at least this would shed some light into this matter. Moreover, if all of this is the way it is (which again, it'd make sense with the shame some Khaenri'ahns seem to bear in other countries to the point of preferring to be seen as evil and not the heroes they were for protecting them, despite the mentality that was present in Khaenri'ah about other nations), it's quite comforting that Dain was seen in such a good light by Halfdan for one, that his last orders and maybe even what he had taught the Black Serpent Knights was kept into their hearts and made them be so honorable as they've been for the past 500 years in other countries. Even though he, ultimately, failed to prevent the disaster in Khaenri'ah / protect it at the end of the day. But I suppose that whenever this happened, those who weren't crazed by the Abyss still appreciated him for his efforts and for at least trying.

[khalixascorner]

Foundations Pt 2

Summary: After agreeing to let Tony take care of him, they have to establish the foundations of this strange new dynamic. Peter stumbles a bit along the way, but Tony's there to catch him. Part 2 of the Priorities Series.

Tags: Slow Burn, Like so slow it's glacial, Still technically pre slash here, Platonic BDSM, for now, Dom Tony Stark, Sub Peter Parker, Friday and Karen gossip

Read on AO3 Part 1

Tony didn’t do anything else that night, just dropped Peter at home and promised to be back the next day. Peter didn’t realize he meant first thing in the morning, and it was strange to wake up to someone else in the apartment again after living alone for so long. 

Tony had just laughed when Peter had crept out to the living room, web shooters on his wrists.

“Well, at least you’re taking your security a bit more seriously,” Tony said, his face warm. “Not that it’ll be necessary when I’m done.”

“Done, sir?” Peter asked, not nearly awake enough for the amount of energy Tony seemed to have.

“Installing a security system,” Tony replied matter of factly. “It’s only temporary, but you’re only here for another month or two, and then it’s summer break anyway. We’ll do the major remodels then. Well, assuming you want to stay at this apartment.”

Tony glanced at Peter then, and he could only nod.

“It’s nice, a good distance from school, and the extra rooms are nice if anyone comes to stay,” Peter explained, ignoring the ache in his chest at how empty those rooms really were. He didn’t like the idea of giving them up though, because it was too much like admitting that they were really gone and that no one would ever come visit again.

Tony’s gaze felt like it saw straight through to his core, and Peter fought the defensive feeling it provoked.

“Well, we have time to figure out exactly what we want to change,” Tony said, brushing past Peter to head to the kitchenette. “But first, food. Come on, kid, I know that spidery metabolism of yours probably needs more calories than the average human.”

Objectively, Peter knew Tony was probably right, but he was so used to hiding what made him different that it felt off to have three times as much food piled up on his plate.

“I– this is too much,” he protested but Tony just pointed even as he took a bite of his own food. The stern glare quickly had Peter digging in, trying to ignore the flush that rose to his face.

“Pete, you have to eat, kid, and if Karen and Friday’s numbers are right, you aren’t eating enough,” Tony said, his voice gentler than Peter had expected. “Look– eat first, then we’ll talk, alright? And don’t be ashamed about eating your fill. Your body needs fuel or you can’t be at the top of your game.”

Peter nodded and continued eating, though he barely tasted it. The anxiety that “we’ll talk” always caused made it far too difficult to actually enjoy anything.

Finally, though, the plates were cleared and Tony sat across from him at the kitchen table.

“Alright, kid, ground rules I suppose first,” Tony said. “Rule #1 is you do what I say. I told you from the start that I need to be in control. When I tell you to do something, you do it. If you need clarification, you can ask, and then you do it. Capiche?”

“Yes, sir,” Peter said, though he couldn’t fully hide the hesitation in his voice. Tony must have picked up on it as well because he gave Peter a wry smile.

“I’m not going to ask you to murder people, kid,” Tony said with a huff. “I’m going to take care of you, and yeah, that means sometimes it’ll be telling you things you don’t want to hear, like slow down or take more time to rest. But it’s only because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be a genius and have no support system, to spiral with no one to stop you because there’s no one there to really see you.”

Peter felt the heat coming off of his cheeks as he flushed. Tony always seemed to cut right to the heart of things. It made him feel vulnerable, like he was being peeled apart and laid bare for Tony to see.

“Kid- Peter, look at me,” Tony said firmly, and Peter raised his eyes. “I won’t let you crash and burn like I did. I’ll take care of it all, but that’s going to mean trusting me to do what’s right by you. This only works if you’re willing to at least give me that.”

Peter’s chest felt tight, but despite that, despite the past hurt and abandonment, despite everything, Peter did trust Tony. Maybe not to be by his side forever and never leave him again, but at least to try to do right by him.

“I-I do. I can- I’ll listen,” Peter said, stumbling over the words. “I trust you, sir.”

“Good. Thank you for that,” Tony said, his eyes gentler for a minute before returning to the firm set of before. “Alright so rule 1, you do what I say. Rule 2, you check in with me. I want a text in the morning and a call at night before bed. If our schedules don’t line up for a call, I’ll let you know by dinner, and you can text me instead but I want to know that you’re doing ok and if anything comes up.”

Peter nodded his consent. It felt a little childish if he was being honest but he had agreed to trust Tony on this so he’d do it.

“Last rule for now, you will take care of yourself,” Tony said, his eyes dead serious as he held Peter’s gaze. “What that means is minimum 6 hours of sleep at night, eating enough for that metabolism of yours, and homework done before spidering. Your first job is school, and anything extra goes in your extra time.”

Peter opened his mouth to protest, only for the words to catch in his throat at Tony’s stern look.

“Sleep, eat, and don’t overdo it,” the older man repeated. “That’s not unreasonable. Any questions?”

“No, sir,” Peter replied meekly. The urge to argue was still there, beneath the surface, but he ignored it. Tony was right, it wasn’t unreasonable, and he didn’t even know why he wanted to argue about it.

“Good. Let’s get to work then,” Tony said, clapping his hands. “We’ll order your new furniture first then start on the security install. I want to get the system installed before the delivery gets here.”

“Delivery?”

“Same-day, of course. Can’t have you going without furniture for another week or something ridiculous,” Tony said, pulling out a tablet and flicking the holograms up. “So, what do you think? Did you like the set up before or are you feeling up for a change?”

“The set before was fine,” Peter said weakly. Tony gave him a pointed look, and Peter’s shoulders slumped. “It really was fine, sir, but I suppose the couch was a little firm. And I always ran into the table.”

“Got it,” Tony said, the tablet auto filtering as Friday took Peter’s comments and started narrowing down the furniture sets. “What about color? Preference?”

“Ah, blue or gray I guess?” Peter said and more sets filtered out. Tony flicked through them before finally settling on one and telling Friday to order it.

“Alright, that’s done. Now let's get the security system put up,” Tony said, bouncing off the seat and grabbing a huge box. “Chop chop, little spider. Dum E’s back at the lab so you’re tool duty.”

Peter quickly fell into the rhythm of handing Tony tools and parts as the older man put sensors on every entryway, plus a few cameras in the main rooms. Once they were installed, Tony pulled out another box of parts, and this time they found themselves back in Peter’s room.

“Alright, kid, we’re gonna install a server node for Karen to work off of,” Tony said, heading straight for Peter’s closet. “It’s not as good as fully integrated, but it will let her network into the cameras and sensors we put up. We didn’t install any speakers so you’ll need to keep a phone or something nearby for her to tap into if you want her to be able to respond.”

Peter hesitated, wondering for a moment if he should point out that his phone was practically ancient at this point and the battery didn’t stay charged. His computer had bit the bullet freshman year, so after Ned moved out, he just went to the computer lab.

Before he could brush it off entirely, Tony’s words from earlier floated through his head. He had told Tony he trusted him and Tony had explicitly said he wanted to know when there were problems so he could handle them. Whether this constituted a problem or not wasn’t up to Peter.

“Ah, sir, that may be a problem,” Peter said softly.

Tony popped his head out of the closet, giving Peter a curious look.

“My computer died last year and my phone’s battery has been on the fritz for a while so it doesn’t work well unless it’s plugged in,” Peter admitted, fighting the ever present embarrassment that came with being the poor kid in class, the poor kid on campus. Anything his scholarships didn’t cover had always been out of reach, so he had learned to not even ask, but it still made him feel inadequate when forced to vocalize it. “So if you want Karen to have a connection point, we’ll probably need a different option or something.”

His eyes dropped under Tony’s measuring gaze, though he could still feel the weight of the older man’s attention. Peter heard movement but still didn’t look up at Tony as the man stepped out of the closet and closer to Peter.

“Kid, there’s no shame in not having things or asking for them when you need them,” Tony said firmly. When Peter just nodded, he huffed. “Look at me, Peter.”

Slowly, Peter lifted his eyes again, not quite knowing what to expect. He felt his heart stutter a bit when all he saw was understanding and compassion in Tony’s eyes.

“I’ve never been in your shoes, so I’m not going to lie and say I understand how it feels, but kid, I mean it,” Tony said seriously. “You’ve made the best out of the situation and there’s no shame in that.”

Warmth blossomed in Peter’s chest and also across his cheeks.

"Rhodey was the same way when I met him,” Tony added. “And we butted heads a lot until we found our groove for what I was allowed to take care of for him too. So thank you for telling me now, and I’ll take care of that too.”

“Ok, thank you, sir,” Peter said, flushing at the measuring look Tony gave him. The air between them was heavy and Peter felt like he couldn’t breathe. Then Tony blinked and was moving again. He slipped back into the closet, already talking to Friday about ordering things and muttering to himself about uplinks while Peter tried to remember how to function.

They finished the install just as the furniture delivery arrived. His old things were removed and the new installed faster than Peter had ever seen. The new set up left more room open, which was nice, but it still felt weird as Peter looked around.

“Alright, drones should be here soon with the last bit of tech,” Tony said after he returned from seeing the delivery crew out. “Anything else we need to address? Questions, concerns, the works?”

“I- no, sir. This is already so much,” Peter said, overwhelmed. He didn’t know that he could take even more upheaval.

Tony hummed and nodded, “Yeah, I suppose this is a lot to just jump in with. Alright, I’ll leave it here for today. Friday’s already set up the computer and phone, same number and everything. Since I saw you today, you don’t have to call tonight. Just shoot me a text when you’re heading to bed and let me know if everything went alright.”

“Ok, I will, sir,” Peter promised. He looked at Tony awkwardly, not sure what was next or how to break the strange tension that was hovering between them again.

Luckily, Tony had things well in hand, drawing Peter in for a firm but short hug.

“Stay out of trouble, kid, and text me if you need anything,” Tony said before showing himself out. 

Peter could only nod mutely, stuck between wanting to run away and wanting to beg him to come back and hug him again.

Peter was still contemplating the extreme reaction when his computer and phone arrived. They were top of the line, which he should have expected but was still thrown by. After playing with them a bit, he closed everything out, including his google search that pointedly explained what being touch starved was- and wasn’t that embarrassing. With a sigh, he decided to head to bed early, mind exhausted from the day. But first, he sent his text to Tony.

Heading to bed early tonight. Thank you again, for everything Mr. Stark. -PP

[turzelle]

I watched the YouTube skit titled "Suck It Up" by Jaden Williams, and gah it made me furious. Yelling and barreling over someone's issues isn't helpful for anyone. It makes the receiving end defensive and gives no actual help, regardless how "legitimate" or not their mental state is.

It's true - Depression and Anxiety have become a social epidemic for multiple reasons. Generational trauma, seeing others' horrible situations online and dwelling in despair that the world is doomed, seeing others' wonderful situations and losing any gratitude for what one does have, being subconsciously convinced that depressed/anxious how one is supposed to be, so on so forth. And I am saying this as someone who has been clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Society has been manufacturing depression and anxiety whether we like it or not.

That does NOT, however, make an individual's condition any less of a struggle. To attack someone over their condition without any knowledge of their true situation is harmful. Just because you can't see pain, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because someone isn't in a wheelchair, doesn't mean their disability is fake, and similarly just because someone's life seems fine, that doesn't mean their issues aren't real. Not to mention, depression and anxiety are often comorbid (linked to, caused by, or coinciding) with other chronic conditions, illnesses, or disorders.

Yes, some people fake. Yes, some people lean into having a disorder/illness as an excuse. But just because one kid fakes being sick to skip school, that doesn't mean the next kid doesn't genuinely have a flu.

People are becoming more vocal about their issues, more accepting and normal about mental illness -- that's a good thing. You wouldn't shame someone for breaking an arm, nor should you shame someone for having disordered moods.

All that said, depression and anxiety disorders are temporary and curable. Temporary doesn't mean short, and curable doesn't mean easily fixed. It just means it can end at some point -- but only if the person with the sickness takes the proper measures to get better: Resting when necessary, learning and using proper coping skills, learning how to function despite lack of motivation, building up tolerance to stressors and triggers, figuring out how to fight it. And in the case of comorbidities, taking steps to properly treat other conditions. Unlike physical ailments, there is no built in immune system to fight off mental illness. You have to create it yourself.

Therapy and medications are good tools to make things easier but that won't make it easy. No amount of meds or therapy can do anything if the user is being passive. A diagnosis was never meant to be a scapegoat.

If you want this epidemic to stop, don't discourage depressed or anxious people by telling them their issues are fake. Encourage them to empower themselves, that they have power over their illness and not the other way around.

[gaily-daily-musings]

Back to the future to the Clone wars!

I have an idea where after rotj, Luke time travels back to the clone wars due to Force shenanigans. It just dumps him at the front of the Jedi Temple. Thinking this is just a vision, he walks in. People give him weird looks. Everyone knows everyone at the temple and they've no idea who this blonde twink is. 

Meanwhile Luke is just wandering around entranced! So this is what the Jedi order was supposed to be like! So bright and good, like a beacon. So many people. He's overwhelmed. He starts to tear up. The Force did not feel like this in his timeline. It had been broken and bent. Even after his father restored balance the Light side did not feel so full like this. 

Naturally he is eventually stopped and taken to the Council. This is when Luke realizes he Fucked Up and this is all somehow very real.

Several seats are empty. The only person he recognizes is Yoda. He seems so different from the one he'd met on Dagobah. 

The doors open behind him and two men stroll through. 

"Sorry we're late. Someone held us up."

"Hey! Don't put this on me! You're the one who had to comb his hair for the hundredth time!"

Luke stares. Obi-Wan Kenobi takes his seat. He was so much younger. Only a few gray strands in his auburn hair. The other man is harder to place. But somehow Luke knows. 

Luke blinks heavily. He can't quite math right now, but by his calculations Anakin was only a year older than him. It was just…weird seeing him like this. No scars except for the one on his right brow. Dirty blonde hair that curled. He was quite handsome when he was younger. He hadn't known that. 

Anakin takes a seat beside Obi-Wan. They are still smiling fondly at each other. 

"Good, now that we're all finally here. Who are you?" Asks the scary black man Jedi, tearing Luke out of his thoughts.

"I'm Luke Sk–" kriff he can't say Skywalker! "Skyyyyy. Yep. Luke sky."

Luke feels apprehensive. These are the Jedi Masters of old so surely he can trust them. But they are still strangers. Would they even believe him if he told them the truth?

After a few awkward questions Luke asks to speak with Yoda privately. Hoping his old master will give him the benefit of the doubt. 

He is granted a private audience everyone clears out. Luke ends up telling him everything. That he's from the future. That he'd been exploring an old Jedi temple when suddenly the Force opened up and spat him out here. He believes that perhaps he is meant to prevent a great catastrophe from coming to pass. 

Yoda feels the truth of his words. 

"Truth you speak. Pure your heart is."

"Have you ever heard of someone traveling through time?" Luke asks.

Yoda shakes his head. "Strange the Force is. Stanger things, still, have happened."

They don't know how to get Luke back but in the meantime Luke wants to figure out how to fix the past.

Yoda holds up a clawed hand. "Careful we must be. Undo the threads of fate you will, should you not proceed with caution."

"But that's what I'm trying to do! Undo the past!"

"Rewrite too much and cause more destruction you might."

Luke thinks for a moment. Even more destruction? He cannot even imagine it. 

"Delicate, time is. Perhaps not meant to change things you are. Meant to learn."

Luke cannot accept that. If the Force wanted him to learn then this would be a simple vision. He wouldn't actually, physically be here. Luke didn't want to break time itself, just a very specific Sith Lord. 

They assign him temporary rooms and Luke leaves to mediate in them. He thinks about everything that has happened. Everything that will happen. Yoda was right. If Luke tried to take Palpatine down now yeah he could save the galaxy. But what if he was killed in the attempt? What if he failed? It was his father who killed Palpatine in his timeline. He was still the Chosen One. It was his destiny that would bring balance to the Force not Luke's. Would interfering with that change the prophecy?

He pulls up the datapad they provided him with. He does not know exactly how the Order falls nor when. Palpatine controlled the narrative and he cannot trust what history holobooks have taught him. But he does know the gist of it. That at this very point in time Sidous is trying to poison his father's mind, and he is manipulating both the Republic and Separatists from the Chancellor's seat. 

He reads up on the current affairs in the holonews. They were near the end of the war it looked like. Dooku has been defeated by Anakin Skywalker. He could tell the Council who Palpatine was and they could all arrest him and justice would be served. But then would the galaxy still view the Jedi traitors as they had been in the future? Palpatine had twisted the narrative in his favor last time. Could he twist it again? Luke has no evidence of Palpatine's deceit. No one to testify. Count Dooku is already dead and cannot come forward. His only real chance is to record the Chancellor and reveal his plans. But that in itself was a dangerous task. He needed help. 

Coming out of meditation, Luke goes back Yoda's quarters. But apparently he is away at the moment. He paces nervously down the hall to find him. He'll just have to tell him who Sidious is and then convince him to let Luke gather evidence first instead of going to fight him. 

He comes across the refectory. He was rather hungry. Perhaps he should eat. Luke stops dead in his tracks when he sees his father and Ben walking out. 

He's staring so hard that Anakin Skywalker looks at him. "You got a problem buddy?" His father frowns at him. "You were staring before too."

"Anakin, be nice." Obi-Wan chides him. "He's probably never seen The Hero with No Fear in person before."

Anakin blushes, immediately turning to his former Master. "Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan chuckles warmly, it is light and simultaneously deep. So much brighter and carefree than old man Ben.

Anakin turns back to him. He squints. "Hey, do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar."

"Nope! Gotta go I hear someone calling me bye!"

He rushes away, heart pounding. 

After that disastrous ordeal, Luke calms down enough to go find Yoda. After asking several people, he locates him in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. It's unlike anything he's seen. It's beautiful. 

"Come, sit." Yoda waves a claw beside him. 

"Master Yoda." Luke bows his head. "I know you advised against changing the past, but I believe if we do this right, we can prevent the Dark Side from triumphing." 

He then tells him about Sidious. Yoda is grave at the news. But when Luke proposes to spy on him to record evidence Yoda hums thoughtfully. Then to his surprise, he chuckles. 

"Perhaps meant to change the future after all you were." 

"What do you mean?"

Yoda pokes the end of his stick at him. "Tasked with spying on the Chancellor, Anakin Skywalker already has been."

-

Luke is to watch Anakin watching Palpatine. Which, yeah alright, convoluted planning but Luke doesn't know what else to do. The official story he's given is that Luke is a Jedi who has lost his memory and needs a liaison to help him get back on his feet. Anakin is just the man for the job. Which means he gets to shadow Anakin everywhere. 

Palpatine warmly greets him at their first meeting, giving his condolences for his amnesia. 

"We can only hope it's temporary." He says. 

"Yep." Luke sits awkwardly. Wishing to be elsewhere, wishing he could just take his saber and fight him now. 

"Will you be joining Anakin from now on?"

"Not everywhere sir." Luke says, reminding himself to be polite. "Knight Skywalker mentioned he was meeting you and I just couldn't pass up the chance to meet the Chancellor of the Republic."

Palpatine chuckles. "Understandable, Knight Sky. I do hope I live up to your expectations."

Luke smiles with all teeth. "You do, sir."

-

Only Yoda is aware of Luke's secret mission to help Anakin spy on Palpatine. Because of that, it would be moot to accompany his father to every meeting. Palpatine wouldn't incriminate himself in front of a stranger. So Luke shadows Anakin to the Senate building and then pretends to wait outside while they visit. He claims he's aquainting himself with the other Senators and exploring the city when in reality he is listening in. He carefully attaches recording devices to Anakin's robes. He feels bad for the deception, but he knows it would only anger his father to learn that Luke was here as a spy too. He'd probably think that Yoda was undermining him. That he didn't have faith in his talents or worse. 

Luke ends up moving into Anakin’s old padawan room as part of his cover. He sees a picture of him and Ahsoka. Anakin holds the picture looking sad. Luke wishes he could tell him she grew up to be strong and wise in the Force even if she did not wear the title of Jedi. She embodied their values and carried Anakin with her close to her heart. But he cannot say anything. So he does not. 

Rooming with his father is weird but fun. They have fame nights. They say up watching bad holomovies. They take turns cooking meals. Anakin is everything Ben and Ahsoka had told him and more. He is carefree, but also determined. He is passionate and headstrong. Luke loves him. And he misses him. 

And so, the shadowing. As Anakin "re-teaches" Luke the basics of being a Jedi, he finds out just how much time his father actually spends with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Which is nearly all of it. And it's nice for the most part. Ben was kind and Luke had always liked him. This version is even chattier. He jokes more. But there are times when things get a bit…awkward. 

Luke finds himself in the middle of more than one argument between his old mentor and his father. It's uncomfortable as sith's hells. It was like they constantly forgot Luke was even in the room. Luke doesn't know which is worse; when they started fighting about whose turn it was to do the dishes ("I don't even live here!" "You're over so much you practically do!") or when they weren't even fighting and just got lost staring into each other's eyes or something. Also the pet names were… certainly there. 

Every lunch period they sat pressed side by side at the table and ate off each other's plates. Luke is forced to watch.

"You have some sauce on your face, darling." Obi-Wan wipes it off with his thumb. His hand lingers on Anakin's chin. His father's eyes are heavy and dark as they look at Obi-Wan. 

If Luke didn't know for a Fact that Anakin was married to Padme he would have bet the entire Republic that Ben and his father had been intimate. Which first of all, ew, second, what the fuck?

The man named Quinlan, who he'd been introduced to as Obi-Wan's old friend, pats his back sympathetically. "You'll get used to it. Everybody else is. They're just weird like that."

Luke cannot comprehend this. His brain refuses. It was like seeing your parents kiss except worse because Obi-Wan was Anakin's old Master. Luke cannot possibly imagine having the hots for any of his mentors.

Also, Ben has never mentioned this before?!? Then again perhaps it was for the best. Obviously Ben wouldn't have said anything to him about his odd relationship with Anakin. They were friends. That was that. 

-

The more Luke observes and listens in to closed door meetings, the more he is convinced of what he needs to do. Palpatine was clearly trying to separate The Team. He wanted to drive a wedge between Anakin and the Order. More specifically, Anakin and Obi-Wan. If Luke wanted to save the galaxy, he needed to keep them together.

When it is suggested that Obi-Wan go to Utapau to defeat General Grievous, Luke strongly advises against it. But the council overrules him. He is not a member after all. Luke wishes the Jedi records hadn't been destroyed for this time period. He's flying blind here. He's no idea what is supposed to happen. And if he doesn't know, then he can't take the correct steps to prevent it. 

A few days after Obi-Wan leaves, Luke feels something stir in the Force. He grabs his comlink and contacts Obi-Wan in hysterics. 

"This is Luke Sky, you have to come back to Coruscant!"

Obi-Wan refuses. The council has given him a mission. 

"Anakin is in danger!"

Obi-Wan is silent and then, "What's happened?"

"I don't know exactly what's going on but the Force is in flux! If you do not come back right now, Anakin will fall to the Dark!"

"...how can you possibly know that?" He sounds suspicious. Disbelieving.

"Because I'm from the future!" He yells into the comm. "Only Master Yoda knows! He didn't want me to cause ripples in the timeline so we didn't tell anyone else! But that doesn't matter! Anakin Skywalker will become a Sith if you do not come back NOW! Look into the Force! Can't you feel it?? It's screaming!"

Obi-Wan does not respond for a minute. "I understand your distressed, but I have my orders."

The comm goes silent.

-

Anakin rushes into the Council the next day. His face is pale and his breath is coming fast. He won't tell Luke what happened but Luke already knows. This is it. Sidious has revealed himself to him. 

They go to the Council together. Anakin looks around, asking for Obi-Wan. Have him holo in at least. But Obi-Wan is out of reach and unavailable. So is Yoda. Off on Kashyyyk.

Mace, Kit, and Koth all go to arrest him. Anakin is ordered to stay behind with Luke. He paces angrily. 

"They'll kill him…" He mutters. "They can't…I need him alive!"

Luke cannot calm him down. He tries but his words mean nothing to the man in front of him. Anakin won't listen. Anakin breaks free and rushes to the Senate building. Luke is close at his heels, he can't afford to let him out of his sight. When they get there the fight has already started. Only Mace is still alive by the time they arrive. 

"Skywalker! Help me! We must end the Sith!"

"No! He needs to face trial!"

"He's too dangerous to be kept alive!"

Luke gripes his saber. What was the right choice here? Jump in and kill Palpatine? Or keep trying to calm his father down? Nothing seemed to be working on him. Anakin was only getting more and more agitated as Mace talked. He looked ill, he looked crazed. 

"Anakin listen to Mace! It'll be alright! I have evidence of Palpatine's deceit! We can prove his guilt in court later but for now we need to defeat him!"

"What?" Anakin swivels towards him. "How do you…no, I don't care about evidence!" He spits. "I care about Padme! She's gonna die! I can't let her die!"

Wind whips around them as the window shatters from force lightning. Luke feels it swirl around. He's so confused. What did Sidious have to do with saving Padme? He thought she died in childbirth? He didn't have all the pieces. Something was missing.

Palpatine moves, Mace counters. Anakin cuts off Mace's hand. Mace screams in pain. Like a viper Sidious strikes, and then Mace is falling out the window. Luke tries to grab him but it's too late. It's too late. 

Sidious is laughing. It is ugly and triumphant. Anakin falls backwards. "What have I done?" He gasps. 

Luke goes to him. 

"Come on! We can still stop him!"

Lighting hits him. Luke is thrown into the wall. He screams and clutches his sides. His skin burns. 

"Thank you, my boy." Sidious says. "You have chosen wisely. I will give you the knowledge you need to save your wife, I promise you. But first, you must kneel before me and become my apprentice."

"Don't do it!"

Sidious blasts him again. He cries out. Anakin falls more than kneels. He's sweating, hands clenching and unclenching. 

Father no!

Luke squeezes his eyes shut. He cannot watch this. He's failed.

"Anakin!"

His eyes snap open. Obi-Wan pants at the doorway, his saber drawn, chest heaving. He stares at Sidious, at the bodies of Koth and Kit Fisto. He spares a glance at Luke as well. 

Sidious snarls at him. "Kenobi!" He raises his hands. 

"No!" Anakin stands, planting himself between the two. Between Dark and Light. "You can't!"

"The Jedi are all traitors! Look at what they've tried to do! They wanted to kill me and take over the Republic!"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Obi-Wan cuts through him. He looks at Anakin. "Anakin are you alright?"

Anakin can barely think. His mind feels split apart. Luke knows this because he feels Anakin's pain as if it were his own. He can feel the choice warring inside him. 

"We can't kill him…" He pleads weakly at Obi-Wan. 

"Stand aside, my apprentice!" Sidious orders. "Today you and I shall purge the Jedi threat!"

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes. "Your apprentice?" He hisses. Luke has never seen Ben angry. He looks like a God, blue sabe blazing hungry for justice. "You will never sully my Padawan with your filthy hands!"

"I already have!" Sidious laughs. "Mace Windu is dead thanks to his help!"

Anakin flinches. 

Obi-Wan's expression stiffens. "Is this true?"

Anakin backs away from him. Unable to look him in the eye. 

"He is already mine! Now Anakin, kill him and take your rightful place by my side!"

"I didn't mean to." Anakin whispers, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Obi-Wan swallows, shaking off his shock. "I believe you. It's not too late, come back to me, darling." He holds out his hand for Anakin to take. "You're still a Jedi, we can get through this together."

"There is no going back! Only forward!" Sidious cackles. "Come Anakin! What will it be? Join me and save your wife, or join the Jedi traitor and slay both me and the Republic which you stand for?"

Obi-Wan falters at the word 'wife.' Anakin's hands are pulling at his hair. He's shaking apart. 

Sidious gives a smirk over at Obi-Wan. "The boy has already chosen, Kenobi. Or did he not yet share with you the fact that he planned to leave the Order and forsake his vows to be with Padmé? She's pregnant, you know."

Obi-Wan's hand is still outstretched but it has lowered significantly. He looks from Sidious to Anakin, trying to find the lie. Anakin's face tells all. Sidious grins. 

"Or perhaps you should tell him of your misdeeds on Tatooine?"

"Stop!" Anakin begs him. But Sidious does not listen.

"Remember how you told me about that night? How you touched the dark side and massacred an entire village in revenge for your mother's death?"

Obi-Wan's face is pale. His arm pulls back, no longer reaching for him. Anakin gives a sob. 

Palpatine places a hand over Anakin's shoulder. "You see my boy? Even your old master rejects you. Only I accept you for who you are."

The Force roars around him. Whispering to him. Luke finds the strength to stand. His bones scream at him to lie back down. But he must. He must do this. 

"Tell him the truth!" He yells. All three heads swivel in his direction. Sidious looks confused, like he'd completely forgotten Luke was even there.

Luke looks at Obi-Wan. "Tell him the truth!" He begs. He doesn't even know what truth he is referring to. But somehow he knows this is what the Force wants him to say.

Obi-Wan looks back at Anakin. His eyes trace his face. The face of a man who had lied to him and kept secrets. Who would leave his side for another. Who would make deals with Sith Lords for knowledge and power.

"Dear one," his hand reaches out once more, palm up, waiting for his hand. "I'm here. I'm not leaving. Whatever it is that troubles you, I will help you." He pauses, voice wobbling from emotion. "I love you, Anakin. No matter what you have done I love you always."

Anakin gives a wretched cry. He reaches to take Obi-Wan's hand. 

Sidious snarls. "NO!" Lightning crackles. "Kenobi you have interfered for the last time!"

Sidious raises his hands. 

Anakin swirls on the spot. He lights his saber without thought. Acting on instinct. He cuts Sidious from shoulder to sternum. The old man falls dead. 

Anakin collapses onto the floor. Obi-Wan immediately hugs him to chest. He shushes him quietly. 

"I'm here, I'm here it's alright. You did it Anakin. He's gone."

With the danger passed, the adrenaline leaves Luke and he collapses. His eyes close and the world fades away.

-

Luke opens his eyes to an opulent ceiling. He squints at it. He does not recognize this ceiling. He sits up. Where was he?

He can see he is in a room with lavish furniture and carvings surrounding him. He gets up and wanders out. The balcony shows him a lush, beautiful lakeside. He turns back inside to investigate. Was he still in the past?

The door flings itself open. His sister walks in. She looks angry. 

"Leia!" He goes to hug her. He wraps his arms around her. She squirms against him. 

"Luke, what are you doing? Stop it!"

"I missed you so much! Where even are we? How did we get here?"

Leia flattens him with a look. "Acting stupid won't save you from getting out of it! I know you and mom conspired against me! Admit it!"

Luke stops. "Mom?" He whispers.

"Yes! Our mother! You both went behind my back and invited Dad to my wedding! It's my wedding, I can ban whomever I want!"

"You're getting married?"

Leia squints. "Real cute, Luke. It's soooo funny that someone actually wants to marry haha we get it. Just fess up and admit it! You invited Dad, didn't you?!"

Okay so, if he has this right, it is present time. But a different present where Padme lived. Okay. Cool. He can uh, he can work with that.

"Why…don't you want Dad at your wedding?" He asks slowly. 

Please don't say it's because he's evil. Please say he didn't become a Sith lord after all. 

"Are you serious?!" She snaps. "He cheated on mom! I know you forgave him but I won't! That bastard broke her heart!"

Luke's head is reeling. He opens his mouth then wisely closes it. 

"Ugh! You're impossible!" She flies out of the room.

Luke is left stranded in the middle of the room. Breathe. Just breathe.

Then, once his nerves settle, he whoops with joy. He runs to the bed and throws himself onto it. He did it. He did it! He changed the past! 

Que awkward breakfast scene with the family. Anakin and Obi-Wan arrived just an hour ago and Luke's joy at seeing them is overshadowed by Leia's death glare. Han is just as much of a scoundrel as ever, nothing new there. Padme is a vision and he hugged her for longer than what might have been appropriate considering he was supposed to have seen her yesterday. Also he accidentally calls Obi-Wan "Ben" and that makes everyone look at him weird. 

From what he can gather, Leia's wedding was tomorrow, Ahsoka–or rather Aunt Ahsoka–was coming, Obi-Wan had left the Order to be with Anakin a few years ago, and also Luke still had both hands. 

"Why are you smiling so much? It's weird." Leia kicks him under the table. 

Luke kicks back. "Just happy to see my family all in one place."

Leia rolls her eyes but she's smiling too. 

[freeworldallahmbaclass]

I apologize to gang members and I promise I moved on from that lifestyle since they letting me coexist with them in New York well go enjoy your life guys smoke your weed and sell your weed gaunja they can't harass you arrest you no more I did that for you I know y'all getting crazy money out there and yes I forgot to say that I got apartment buildings in my name The Henry apartments in Brooklyn New York City across the street from my picture as Biggie Smalls one of them where I legalized pot gaunja weed and the buddington marijuana the good stuff from and also with these videos I could see my dude 😎 and friend do his thing wonder sometimes am on the same path as Trump was I got the accomplishments and every day I wake up to more accomplishments the apartment buildings the hospitals and even street named after me and don't forget Henry Hall the meteor shower in front of the New York City courthouses because of my work on Rikers and their inmates getting computers to read and search for jobs while on Rikers I hope they give it to the adolescence so they can kick the criminal behavior at a young age their is good stuff on the Rikers Island tablet programs and they gave them video games to play that is hot keep them busy instead of keeping them frustrated and stressed out in anxiety that's too much punishment give them a break sad to say I moved on from Love and Hip Hop New York the TV show I wish them good luck but we moved on from each other and no to Hip Hop superstars trying and keeping getting me arrested talking about Im harassing them when they are the people harassing me with their police friends and the courtrooms and gotta ask them to stay in New York when I'm the one feeding my community and helping out community not them and no I don't play in anybody tournament or game they got going on I got my own lane and my own game going on 😭 good luck to them know what happened to Hip Hop and Hollywood they tried to do some stuff to me using dark magic now they want to see what happened well they rather try a scandal than letting me live my life and conduct business I'm not dropping my business ideas I got a sure winner that is my confidence talking like I'm suppose to be talking about that I figure I got my list of accomplishments done I know I can get them deals done that is personal and I'm going private into the business sector away from my public servant now 👍 and that is hot and from the Donald I'm forgiven and I said no to the media and the funny mock trials with the courtrooms no thank you I'm legit get off of me and stop watching me their is no reason to be watching me they got me under surveillance I said no to that and I said yes to the Governor and Mayor and no to Correction officers and NYPD EMT workers I'm keeping my hospital though all I see that it helps and cure people of sickness and diseases and I sponsor that plus it's program really mean this page on social media I'm hot 🔥 right now on fire my critics is baking mad they trying to get all my signs and buildings down I laugh at my haters nah it's aight people hate and no to MTA workers except my family that work there and yes to the King and Queen of England my family my blood and yes to Jay Z and Beyonce my family now and no don't talk for me with them I'm their family now and me and 50 Cent cool now man that is the truth he said Hey Allen keep the books

Watch the videos you will see that my rise to power is beautiful now and I realize it my only downfall is my critics is stressing me while I was getting famous I didnt know I was a star until I started seeing my name everywhere and my work going through my laws being passed to help the city of New York and hopefully cities like New York Little Rock Arksansas, Baltimore , New Jersey , Louisiana, and wherever people need help and a program like mines they should follow suit hopefully they follow suit because New York the hood is winning again the weed boys got smoke and cops can't harass them temporary seasonal workers is getting their training and full employment and more money on their checks yes more money on their checks and they about to get more money with this new governor and mayor in office so things is looking good for New Yorkers they paid me I get to exercise and prove to New Yorkers that I deserve another to work in the workforce again plus I got my own business well my education on my own business that I'm getting so I can't speak on that because I'm still in the learning phase but I been winner in everything so I'm confident about myself plus the cards I have been dealt is looking and my lady friends said I could pitch to them they doing good and don't mind me trying to pitch my business ideas to them they will let me get on in the game I want to play big business I won everything else why not and I hope my Riverside Drive plans win for the factories ferry museum and more job opportunities for this community

My New York City accomplishments

I got hotels for the homeless in New York City 2021

I got Amazon workers their union contract

I got Starbucks workers their union contract

I got the minimum wage increased from $ 11 dollars an hour to $ 15 dollars to $ 17 dollars an hour

I got more money put on the housing vouchers the city feps and steps voucher so that homeless individuals and women with their kids and husband and wife can have better housing and a better life for themselves and their family And it's only going to get better more housing more safer housing where the housing crew does it's job and provide safe clean housing toxic free air conditioners and heating free cable watch some good TV shows and movies and enjoy their summer and winter and they get WI Fi now hooked up with their house packages and hopefully more money on the voucher to help rehabilitating families to get their lives together better housing and better schools for their kids equal a better future don't forget to give New people moving into their apartment fire safety 🦺 training courses on unplugging their wires from the outlets and child safety outlets not leaving the oven on or stove on or leaving the stove and ovens on unattended child safety windows no water near electronics and electrical devices carbon dioxide early detectors and smoke detectors no smoking 🚭🚬 around fire hazardous materials and we should reduce the number of accidents and tragedies in NYCHA called the housing projects in our neighborhoods and enjoy your cable wifi air conditioning heat in the winter and your Citibikes .

I got the fair chance to compete for a job act of 2019 in New York City and California hopefully other cities and countries are going to follow suit

I legalized marijuana in New York City

I cleaned up fox square in Brooklyn , NY

Free college education in New York City

Free gym membership for people on Medicare

Citi bikes for New Yorkers

Benefit monetary assistance increase for snap and cash assistance recipients

Rikers Island tablet program podcasts and video games for inmates in jail to help stop crime violent crime in prison and to help rehabilitate the guy or woman and stop the back and forth of them going to jail . The tablet have podcasts and programs for Job Search legal research and books to read to help them become better citizens in the free society .

Laws I'm proposing

Job Safety and secure act - 2022

Fair banking act - 2022

Retirement investment plan for employees IRA act - 2022

Ready , willing and able Expansive territory act - 2023

Riverside drive Expansion project act - 2023

The new ferry from New Jersey to New York City - 2023

School sports culture expansion Act Copperas Cove , Texas

Rikers Island schooling expansion act Added on Basic education classes on Rikers Island on the tablet , college programs on the program , online school on the Tablet . -2023

NYCHA ( New York City Housing projects ) plans and ideas for improvement

The New Trench town rock - 2021 , 2022 , 2023

And many other pitches and proposals rebuilding the workforce , wages and structure of New York city and cities like New York .

Next order of business : My Plans for infrastructure in a utopian society hotels jobs pay raise on citizens paycheck from 15 $ - 17 $ dollars minimum wage pay to 19$ dollars to 20$ dollars an hour to better provide for all costs emergencies uncovered insurance payments due to partial health care coverage and full union membership granted to employees of any company free education grants and school loans payment plans

Pay raise for school teachers in every city at junior high school , high school and elementary school level since they are stewards of our children's future .

Pay raise for civil service workers and Civil service exams made and updated daily to the public , school crossing guards , correction officers , supervisors , probation officers , construction site supervisors .

Pay raise for day care workers

Free day care services for temporarily unemployed mothers and fathers

Pay raise for city fire fighters and police officers .

Job contractors fulfilling contracts with back to work public assistance programs that train and employ job candidates without their high school diploma or GED and granting them full employment with full medical and medicare coverage union membership and back to school Acces Vocational rehabilitation counseling and restoration of financial aid assistance for non violent crimes like drug sellers and abusers to stop recidivism to prison and to cure an addiction to a habit of committing perpetual crimes thus creating repeat offenders .

Jobs moving back to inner cities through the effort of study and research groups from urban planning courses from their neighboring colleges .

Tax abatement and financial incentives and business incentives and tax breaks .

Joe Biden and vice president Kamala Harris should include this law into all of their plan for cleaning up America I'm glad to see it go beyond New York City and other counties in New York I want to share this honor with author Michelle Alexander who I did my research from her book about mass incarceration of the black and Latino community and the political office and my friends that help put this law in place I reached out to hopefully stop the recidivism to prison and hopefully to help some of my friends and people that go back and forth to jail because they couldn't get a job due to the felonies on their record I recommend a certificate of relief of disabilities to all people returning to society if they haven't given you one go get it from your county's or borough courthouse it works wonders .

Next order of business : Tax cuts to help the everyday person keep more of their check in their pockets cut the tax rates in New York City by 4 percent I see it as New York State taxes % 8.82 to % 4 percent and business tax cuts to create more jobs Proposal For a Wage increase of $ 22 dollars an hour Including : Fire safety directors Security guards Librarians Fed Ex workers UPS workers Ready Willing and able with free vocational grants from access vr programs they should hire vocational rehabilitation counselors and job developers finding permanent housing and permanent job placement after the clients training Stock Clerks and cashier's at major stores like Gristedes , C Town , met foods , Burlington coat factory wage increase for all warehousing and factory workers jack pallet and forklift training for people with no experience and a starting salary at $ 17 - 19 $ dollars an hour and it increase with more time on the job how about the first year at that base salary of $ 17 - 19 $ dollars and on the even of that year the employee gets an raise of $ 2 dollars more on their check and other financial incentives as cash allocation from their check for newly place employee mutual fund packages besides with other benefits that said company is offering this helps to place that company on the stock market because of the huge huge employee buy in it is like employers investing in their employees their stores and company .

Educational requirements for jobs posted is less than a high school diploma but the job candidate has to be in a vocational program or GED preparation course half or full time hours some jobs don't require that but should want that for a guaranteed better future more certified or certificate more money on your checks learn more earn more .

Civil service jobs and exams posted weekly .

Sales professional salary plus commission on sales and stock options for mutual funds packages as bonuses with an wage increase to $ 19 dollars to $ 21 dollars an hour .

Newly added benefits to a job description benefits an employer on jobs posted give to their employees an employer get to hold back cash or take money out of an employees check to put towards a mutual funds stock fund option to help that client make more money as a second job the municipals funds and stock and funds and stock and then you gotta get hedge funds option packaged in to help the employees money make more money for them talk about overtime whew and at the same time that local market and store owner can put his company on the stock market and give out public shares thus in the end making it a good investment a regular place of shopping in a family like environment it is like getting to know your deli clerk , butcher , bakery attendant again only this time you are making money with the people you are spending money with Think about it that in turns build better communities better stores customer relationships safer neighborhoods and the beautifying of economically depressed environments more money for your kids college tuition school supplies newer roads being built leading to and from better neighborhoods and businesses and this is a future that we all as fellow New Yorkers can build together .

Don't laugh at my glasses and yes that is a Steve Harvey jacket 🧥 no funny stuff like not being funny or anything that is yes an actual Steve Harvey jacket over the hoody he got his own 📻 radio show now no lie I had to laugh no punking me or the funny stuff that they do on this show but I'm the guy that legalized weed it never really hit me until I think about it yes that I legalized weed in New York on Match 31st , 2021 but I also got free gym membership for people on medicare and yes true free college education for people in New York City look you could smoke get a bike hit the gym and get your education all in one day in New York City .

This is for young mothers without any help in the house feed your babies good food 🥝 so they grow up and play sports and make their mom proud 🪴. It is never too late for your education learn with your kids use free daycare services and self learn any skills you need to increase your value in the employment market . I play it cool and dig all jive that's the reason I stay alive .

[inkypipedreams]

chapter 2 of not today bendy

  “Hey kid, slow down. What are you saying?”

  This was…well, at one point you determined that such an occurrence would have been straight out of a dream…back when you didn’t have a job or bills that needed paying.  

  Now you were certain that you’d come back homeless and without a job. Goosebumps spread down your arms like a rash just to think of it. 

  “Listen, this may be a lot to take in…but I know what’s going on.”

  Henry pinched his nose, inhaling through his mouth. You had to hand it to the guy; he was taking this better than you were. The two of you hung out in the employee’s break room, with Henry taking a seat at one of the tables and you leaning against a wall.

  “So...I’m a character in a video game. And you can only play through one loop?”

  “That’s right. Um, there’s a lot of theories…and I’m sorry, did you just say one loop?”

 He laughed, though there was no mirth behind it. “Thought you said you knew everything.”

  Frowning, you decided to throw darts to think. “Well, I kind of do. I know what to expect and what happens in this place. Back when I was really into this place, I’d develop the craziest theories about why you couldn’t leave,” you rambled, aimlessly throwing darts somewhat near the target. “Time loops were considered, but I think I moved on before seeing all of those theories.”

  “Okay, so you’re in over your head and are terrible at darts. Anything else I should know?”

 “Nobody’s died as a result of my dart game! That’s something.”   “...You managed to hit everything in that area except for the target.”

 You rolled your eyes but took the darts out of the wall as you were supposed to. “Maybe I need to imagine hitting someone I despise…” you muttered. “That helped me with golf.”

  “Well, I hope you’ve got that figured out because we have to go. Since you know a lot about this place, want to split up to get the items?”   Diving across the room, you got to Joey Drew’s book before Henry could go for it. “Let’s make it a competition then!” You challenged him. “I’ve already gotten ahead of you old man!”

  “Call me an old man, will you?” Henry laughed, racing to get to the stairs. “I know this place like the back of my hand!”

  You scrambled after him, but even with your temporary lead, Henry overtook you quickly. You both knew exactly what this was going to do…but you were never one to simply lie quietly. Why not have some fun, at least for the time being? 

    “Hey, kid. Are you sure you want to go through this with me? I mean…that hoodie looks nice. Wouldn’t want it to get ruined.”

  This only got a shrug. “If it gets ink on it, and I can’t get it out, I’ll find a way to make it look cute. Besides, I’m trapped here now, remember?”

  ...that only weakened your resolve. You didn’t belong in this world, not to mention the studio. Had Joey planned this? Was Billie in on it? Was there a way back home? 

  “Oh...Oh no. Henry, if I can’t go back home I’m going to just…take a walk. In the snow.”

   “That’s not going to happen, because you’ll get home. I’m going to get everyone out, and now you fall under that category. Come on, kiddo. Let’s go meet a series of bad life decisions together, alright?”

  You bit back a groan. “This isn’t going to be fun…at all.”

 “Not with that attitude!” He said cheerfully. “Come on, let’s get it over with.”   Now praying that Henry wouldn’t start becoming more like a father figure than he was already (you didn’t want him to spout all the good dad jokes before you did), there was nothing else for you to do.   “Can I check the door? I want to make sure I can’t go back first. You know, spare the trouble?”

  He nodded. “No need to ask me. Go ahead! If it works…well, it was nice to meet you.”

  “Oh no! I would never…okay maybe. I’ll be right back!” You said, jogging to the exit. Henry watched until you were out of view before going to meet Bendy…and starting the worst or best cardio workout ever.   “Alright, front door time..” you sighed, rubbing the palms of your hand on your shirt. “Let’s see if this works.”

   The wood groaned beneath your feet, but it was an old building, and you were supposed to fall so…you thought nothing of it. That is until heavy footsteps came closer and closer. The ink suddenly flooding the corridor gave you enough answers, but Henry was still maybe three feet away when the flooring gave out.

 “Henry you son of a guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!” You screeched, flailing in the air as you fell. 

  But the fall…didn’t kill you. It should have. You weren’t involved in any of this. But…well, guess this now confirmed it.   You wouldn’t have been that mad about it if you had been able to keep the hoodie somewhat clean. As it was, you probably needed a new one as soon as possible. “Hey Henry!” you shouted. “You got two seconds to jump or I’m draining the ink and letting you take the consequences that would follow. I mean it!” 

 Just to emphasize your point, you sloshed as loudly as possible to the valve in the room. 

  Just as good that you did, for not a moment later did a splash sound out. “Wait let’s..let’s not do that.”

   You rolled your eyes and turned the valve. “Well, if you hadn’t gone to see the demon without me, I wouldn’t have considered such a threat.”

 “Well, do you know what’s next?”

  Of course. Sammy. “Don’t…don’t remind me. I am not looking forward to it.”

  “You could always wait in a miracle station. I don’t mind coming back for you.”

  …Well, you have to be honest eventually. 

  “No, I’ll be fine. I just have…the worst sense of humor. Like…well, you’re gonna see eventually,” you shrugged. “It’s my defense mechanism.”

  “It’s not…bad? Well, let’s go meet the prophet then. Whenever you’re ready.”

   You nodded, starting to go for a fist bump only to realize that it hadn’t been invented yet. So a handshake instead. “I was born ready.”

  “I don’t know what I did to warrant a punch but thank you for a handshake instead,” he laughed.

  “One of these days, I’m gonna show you a pretty nifty invention. It’s gonna blow your mind.”

  “I’m trapped in a time loop with ink monsters trying to kill me. But hey, maybe the invention is…a…giant…fan.”

  “Oh come on! What would someone even do with that?”

  He shrugged, picking up a couple of cans of bacon soup. “Maybe you could pretend to fly.”

   “Would be safer than jumping off the Eiffel Tower in a faulty parachute.”

  “Yeah…it would. Oh, look! We’re in the music room. Let’s get you a weapon and let’s get some soup!” Unless you felt like pelting enemies with soup cans…there weren’t a lot of options to choose from. “You think I could find a piece of wood somewhere?” You asked.  

  It took far longer than expected; you hadn’t realized how hard it was to find a piece of wood that Henry declared safe for you to use. Splinters would not be fun down here. 

  “Alright, are we done with our makeup? Come on, let’s get ready to go.”

   “We’re getting there, no worries. Just had to make sure you were prepared.”

  Now that you were armed, making it to the music room was a…creepy stroll in the studio.

  “Okay, so how should we do this?” You asked. “Can you still run after the demon?”   He shrugged but went to the projector room. “Pretty sure this whole thing counts as a workout for me at this point. You know the order?”

  Of course. You’d gone over it many times. Though the audio log changed each time- probably to keep players on their toes- you and Henry had listened to this one…a lot. “Violin, drum, piano, trumpet, cello. I’ll be quick.”

  So off you went, Henry up the stairs and you to the pit. As soon as the projector started rolling, you played the instruments and hoped Henry would make it.

 He clambered down the stairs like a bat out of hell, arriving just as you played the final instrument, despite cringing at the horrid shriek. 

 “It’s not so bad, I suppose,” you told Henry as the door opened. “Perhaps one day, people will adore shrieking violins.”   “That would be a truly tone-deaf world.”

  You shrugged in a “you’d be surprised” kind of way and continued walking. “So…when does mister music director, not cult leader show up?”   “Sheep…Sheep…it’s time for sleep.”

 ‘Aha! I summoned him!’ you thought even as darkness overtook you. At least you got a laugh.  

[penig]

The thing that interests me about Rosewind's Gurathin/Murderbot crazytrain is the Extreme Unrequitedness. Everybody likes a good unselfish unrequited lover pining away (and most of us, eventually, want to reward all that pining eventually; we want a happy ending), and holey cheese, you don't get pining more hopeless than this.

Accept, for the purpose of argument, the premise "Gurathin's in love with Murderbot," and come smack up against the question: "How on earth would you cope with romantic feelings toward someone who is asexual, aromantic, agender, doesn't have any biological systems related to sex (but has had to record and datamine hundreds of hours of private activity, including sexual and romantic activity, on its clients on behalf of its appalling corporate masters, which leaves it not only sex-repulsed but romance-repulsed), has guns in its arms, is literally capable of dismembering you without breaking a sweat, and who has designated you, specifically, as the friend it doesn't have to like?"

Seriously, Murderbot tells Gurathin "I don't like you" more than once, in so many words; but Gurathin is one of its clients, so we all know - both of them know - that anyone threatening Gurathin is toast; and at the moment it had him at its mercy and was arguably more angry at him than it ever would be again, it didn't even leave a temporary red mark. What is a lovestruck Gurathin supposed to do with all that? And what, if Murderbot figures it out, is it supposed to do about that? Apart from finding a nice wall to stare at, I suppose.

I mean, c'mon! This is queer as heck. This is not just "alloromantics have to make everything about romance;" although, sure, that does happen in the tags. This also is people exploring all kinds of deep emotional issues, with greater or lesser personal importance to them, in the safe environment of fiction about killer cyborgs and starspanning corporate hellscapes.

I don't want this ship in canon - I am perfectly happy with whatever construct-specific life partnership MB and ART are making up as they go along - but there's a lot of stuff to explore here on the non-canon sidebranch, and that's what fanfic is all about (when it's not about the ficcer's sexual fantasies, which are also legit but not particularly interesting IMHO) - exploring concepts, characters, and implications not thoroughly explored in the canon, in every possible way.

Yes, Murderbot would hate the idea of these stories - but Murderbot isn't real. It doesn't get a vote. And it's really good at curating its own media experience and not seeing content it doesn't want to see, which is a skill we should all cultivate.

Canon events, in a story that isn't purely formulaic (which has its own validity) present us with many, many doors - potential relationships, gaps in the world building, thematic concerns - and once a creator opens one of them, some of those doors vanish from the halls of canon. But they are all still available in the vast halls of fanfiction.

And isn't that marvelous, even when it's not to your personal taste?

Ha!

Some people have asked in the last 48 hours:

“Like why the hell would anyone ship Murderbot and Gurathin?”

(I like to imagine them like ART clutching its function in Artificial Condition—“Ship Gurathin and Murderbot? That is irrational!”)

So, let me explain…no, there is too much. Let me make a few points:

This really starts out by asking the question: why did Gurathin want to know how the PresAux SecUnit was spending its time? Which is a really odd thing for him to want to know if you think about it.

The SecUnit is, as they have been told, merely a tool: it’s an adjunct to the SecSystem and HubSystem of the habitat, it’s a company device, a tool, a product of corporate surveillance capitalism and authoritarian enforcement. Up until the worm incident some of the PresAux team didn’t even now it had a face. Mensah didn’t want to rent it as part of the bond guarantee agreement, and called it (basically) a “hellish compromise.”

So, the rest of PresAux are in varying states of awareness about what Murderbot is.

In Future of Work Compulsory we get some insight into common knowledge of SecUnits: the workers are unaware they can speak, in fact adamant they cannot:

Asa took her arm gently. “They can’t talk,” he told her.

She [Sekai] shook her head as her friends steered her toward the access bridge. “No, it talked. I heard it.”

The PresAux team know their SecUnit can talk, it gives them a security briefing. Do most of them think this is the equivalent of a recorded message, delivered rote?

Surely Mensah, having seen its face and knowing of its intelligence (that hellish compromise) can’t think it’s anything less than a slave? But that aside: I am talking about Gurathin. And what what Volescu says Gurathin wanted to know:

Then Volescu said, “Gurathin, you wanted to know how it spends its time. That was what you were originally looking for in the logs. Tell them.”

Funny thing to want to know, like do you want to know how your roomba spends its time? Okay, this is Tumblr, possibly the wrong place for this question.

So Gurathin is suspicious, apparently right from the start of the book since on page 33 he first asks it a question:

“What about your systems?”

I would note that Gurathin asks MB two questions about how it is functioning, both just after it does something that goes against its governor module:

The other good thing about my hacked governor module is that I could ignore the governor’s instructions to defend the stupid company. “They’re supposed to be able to, but equipment failures aren’t unknown.”

Next thing anyone says is:

Then Gurathin said, “What about your systems?”

Later:

It was one of those impulses that comes from my organic parts that the governor is supposed to squash. I said, “As the only one here with experience in these situations, I’m your best resource.”

Gurathin said, “What situations?”

This looks to me like someone who either detects that MB is acting unlike a SecUnit should, or even that he can tell a governor module is being defied.

HOW does Gurathin do this/know this? He is after all augmented, perhaps he is detecting something in the feed? In Rogue Protocol when MB is spying on Miki via a drone it has taken over, Miki realises something is up:

Miki didn’t move, still staring into the dark with the opaque surface of its eyes. The feed was clear, it couldn’t know I was here.

Then Miki sent a directionless ping

I think Miki does know (Miki stares at the drone); and I think somehow Gurathin also knows.

This seems to indicate that Gurathin may know more about SecUnits than he’s giving away—but whatever: this is someone who has been closely watching Murderbot.

Like, really closely.

I think an absolutely reasonable reading of ASR is that Gurathin has a bit of a fixation on this SecUnit, and it’s a fixation that started before the worm incident.

He’s watching this piece of company equipment with unusual intensity.

I am happy to headcanon that this started with the security briefing, that Murderbot couldn’t keep its feelings out of its voice. I mean, can you imagine Murderbot doing the in-flight safety announcement on the plane? It brings to mind project mayhem’s replacement safety handouts…

Did Gurathin hear Murderbot’s real voice bleed through? Cynicism and sarcasm, a dose of irony?

It’s a thought. He never seems to doubt it’s a person. The fact that Rathhi says: “This is no more a machine than Gurathin is—”perhaps says something about how he sees Gurathin too.

I would note that Gurathin and Ratthi aren’t friends in All Systems Red—something which surprised me a little (I didn’t think they got along as well as they do in later books, but when I looked into it I was surprised!

Gurrathi Meta

So when the team heads off to DeltFall Gurathin is very suspicious and watching SecUnit, which it reports upon but doesn’t seem to spot the significance of—which is rather unlike our paranoid Murderbot.

Gurathin is the only member of the team not to express enthusiasm for MB going on the trip.

Gurathin was the only one staying behind who didn’t say anything

MB is actually about to start poking around to figure out what Guarthin is up to when the feed drops out (probably trying to figure out what’s wrong with it).

If anything I think Gurathin acts oddly about his rogue SecUnit suspicions.

If he knows SecUnits he will probably have heard the propaganda, which MB believes:

To quote MB: “I sure as hell would have reported me. Rogue SecUnits are fucking dangerous, trust me on that.”

I wrote a little essay on how Gurathin is right about a lot of things when it comes to Murderbot:

Gurathin was right

(It’s called that because he is)

Perhaps the strangest thing is that he just tries to immobilize it, and then makes his case. He doesn’t try and have it shut down whilst “unconscious”, and doesn’t even mention the (fairly critical information) until pushed. Gurathin’s expression was stiffer than usual. “This Unit has killed people before, people it was charged with protecting. It killed fifty-seven members of a mining operation.”

At this point MB believe this is true, and it lies to the diary about it, by omission at any rate: “What I told you before, about how I hacked my governor module but didn’t become a mass murderer? That was only sort of true. I was already a mass murderer.”

So: I honestly don’t think Gurathin’s behaviour here makes a whole lot of sense if you read it in a lot of ways—the way I think it makes more sense is that he is fixated. This could be sexual: perhaps when:

[Gurathin] said, “Why don’t you want us to look at you?”

My jaw was so tight it triggered a performance reliability alert in my feed. I said, “You don’t need to look at me. I’m not a sexbot.”

Well—perhaps MB is picking up something about the way Gurathin looks at it?

My personal reading is that Gurathin has become obsessed, an obsession perhaps sparked by MB’s anomalous behaviors? He is watching it intensely. It doesn’t have to be sexual, humans can get fixated without sexual attraction.

And then he so quickly accepts the rogue unit into his team! It holds him up against the wall by his neck (I mean, wow—one of the most intense bits of physical contact in the book). But Gurathin is rapidly team SecUnit: and he never sees it as “not a person” he isn’t kidding when he says.

(“I do think of it as a person,” Gurathin said. “An angry, heavily armed person who has no reason to trust us.”

“Then stop being mean to it,” “Ratthi told him. “That might help.”)

Gurathin and SecUnit work together to overcome GrayCris, Murderbot even grudgingly admitting Gurathin’s help:

“Gurathin had figured out how to use the hack from their HubSystem into our HubSystem to get access, but he needed to be close to their habitat to actually trigger their beacon. ”

“(Last night Gurathin had said this was a weak point, that this was where the plan would fall apart. It was irritating that he was right.)”

So: that’s some of the reasons from the first book, All Systems Red