#only men can save me
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If you don’t find me, I’ll be here.
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Like at the bottom of that lake…
by francesco_ptrf
#the struggle is real#i’m ok btw#only men can save me#aesthetic#my new home#nature#watercore#too beautiful I’m crying right now#more intrusive thoughts
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Coda to my other post because I didn't want to completely derail it but we might not be ready for this conversation as a fandom but ableism is absolutely a contributing factor to the way Armand gets treated and im tired of pretending like it's not. The way autistic people of color get treated in our society is abominable and this fandom is not immune to perpetuating that. So much of how he gets talked about can be chalked up to "well he didn't perform empathy/emotion/regret like I wanted him to." If Armand was as effortlessly personable and correctly emotive as Lestat is we'd be having a different conversation. That's all I'm saying.
#i tried to do a thought experiment about if it was a white autistic person vs a neurotypical poc but it doesnt work#bc our society excuses autistic traits in white men specifically in a way it does not in men of color#anyways i just want you all to know that this is whats at the root of my armand apologism#you can literally never make me take an allistic person's side against an autistic person and it literally doesn't matter what they did#if i think too hard about armand being the only autistic character in iwtv i get nauseous#(roman roy voice) well can we get him out of there?#sybelle and khayman save me sybelle and khaymannnnnnnnnnnnn#blorboposting
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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Yk it really bothers me when I see people talking about eurylochus and the crew like they were the problem. It just feels like everyone is just missing the point. Yes they stopped listening to ody, yes eurylochus opened the wind bag, but that's what makes them so human.
Picture this, you leave your home to fight in a war. It takes literal years for this war to be over. You've lost friends, you miss your family, you've been through hell. You're starving and your captain tells you they found food on this island.
And then the cyclops happens. More friends die, you barely escape with your life, and your captain gives his name to the creature that killed your friends.
And everything after that is a direct cause of that decision.
So you hesitate to trust him. Yes he's smart, he's capable, he always has a plan. But he would do anything to get home, and you know that. So when he comes back to the ship claiming to have a bag full of wind, and when he refuses to let anyone near, refuses to trust his own crew, you get suspicious.
Its been about a decade by this point, and your captain seems to get more and more desperate to get home. A god is after you. Odysseus is forcing himself to stay away, all to make sure nobody touches that bag.
Its human, it's realistic, it makes sense that someone would open the bag. Because odysseus stopped trusting you, and so you stop trusting him. So you open the bag.
I just find it frustrating that people look at the crew/eurylochus as bad guys because of this, as pawns for ody to get home and thats it. The point of the show is that ody has become a monster, has dealt with and left behind his humanity. We, as listeners, root for him. We give him grace because of his circumstances. Because he's the main character.
But for some reason, people don't give that same grace to the crew. They're human, their circumstances are awful too. They have no idea if they will get home, they aren't sure then can trust their captain anymore. They question things. They make mistakes. They cause the deaths of others. It's human, its that feeling you get when you think that maybe hope is lost after all, it's what this story is about. Mistakes and loss and blame.
People dislike Eurylochus because he opened the bag. But odysseus gave the cyclops his name. And polites trusted the lotus eaters. And Athena told odysseus to be cruel to a fault. Nobody here is innocent, not really. And none of them knew better either. They were working with what they had, with the terrible circumstances at hand. It's no wonder they made mistakes. It's no wonder people died.
Why are we ignoring the humanity of the crew? Why are we arguing that they, or that eurylochus, deserved it? If the story was about them, odysseus would be seen as the bad guy. But he's the main character, so the others are stupid and wrong, right? All that matters is that odysseus gets home, right? Even if it costs the lives of his crew. His crew who stopped trusting him when he stopped trusting them. His crew who he sacrificed to get home.
I think we're missing the point here. Odysseus did become a monster, and although we cheer for him getting home and Penelope and Telemachus forgive him, we have to acknowledge that he did do terrible things. Those men will never see their families again. Why are we erasing that humanity in them?
Humans do bad things for the sake of saving themselves or the ones they love. That includes Odysseus. That includes Eurylochus. That includes the crew. And that includes every other character in this musical.
#idk if this makes any sense#im just rambling#its just annoying seeing so many people hatevon the crew and EURYLOCHUS#WHO I LOVE#treating them as if they deserved what they got#YOUR MISSING THE POINT#also this isnt an ody hate post i love him too#just acknowledging the fact that he definitely did bad things and for some reason people only act like its fine when HE makes mistakes#like humanity and all its complications is THE POINT#HUMANS CAN DO DARK THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF SAVING THEMSELVES AND THSOE THEY LOVE#THAT INCLINES THE CREW. THAT INCLUDES EURYLOCHUS.#also ik some people who say this are joking#but it feels like most of them also believe the crew/eurylochus deserved it. so.#epic the musical#odysseus#eurylochus#i dont really have much else to tag this lol#this post was inspired by someone saying they didn’t like the crew and felt nothing when they died#and by the fact that i rarely see people talking about how heartbreaking the scene where ody sacrifices his men is#eurylochus saying “captain?” and “but we'll die” KILLS ME#AND PEOPLE JUST SAY WELL HE DESERVED IT#IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY#ill shut up now#eurylochus protection squad#forgot about that one lol#aml speaks#something something “im just a man” is the whole point and applies to every character including the ones you dislike something something
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sorry just got reminded of the entirety of uncanny x-men #309 and how it's charles having a therapy session with himself about his love life and desires and how he kept sacrificing himself and his wants for The Cause and the whole time he imagines erik to represent his innermost thoughts in the form of a therapist to have him unravel all this
#snap chats#i was going to read the fic i had saved and i remember the angel who recc'd it to me mentioned this issue#and bruh .......... //screams//#there's an onslaught joke in here somewhere but i aint diggin for it it's 3AM and im goin to the mall with my bro later#this is brought on by scott and jean recently announcing their plans to be married and charles gets I-Refuse-To-Admit-It jealous#this is such a depressing issue and that's probably why i love it. there is a happy ending tho so that def lightens the load jaELKVEJKA#ironically @ my last ask this issue also tackles charles' issues with feelin loved only this time its more concretely in the romantic sense#which. very interesting to use erik as your 'therapist' there charlie.......#anyway usin erik is wild but i get it makes perfect non-ship sense in context but anything can be ship related if youre ill.... like me ...#but no genuinely it's an interesting issue.. i fear i'll have to buy it so i can look at it every day and throw up#not neglecting the opening is charles realizing erik saved him from a snowstorm (unlimited x-men number 1 1993)... ofc.....#UGH FUCK now i gotta get THAT issue too.... sorry im building a cherik library i guess i just love the angst so much <- im deranged#any time theres mentions of charles' suppressing his wants or just suppressing anything in general i go insane its my favorite thing Sorry#ok ima go read that fic now. after i bookmark a listing of uncanny xmen 309 vejarVERVJEAJ bye
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(in my insane voice) hickey's mutiny is a metaphor for bourgeois revolution
#this js entirely personal headcanon and also unrelated to the above post but tozer is a protosocialist to me. i'll talk about it someday#anyways saw someone call hickey a class traitor earlier and that's kinda exactly how his mutiny plays#i've talked abt hickey politics before but#specifically him revolting/mutineering in the name of better conditions for his men#only to then make himself essentially crozier 2#he's sharing resources sure but he's still keeping things to himself and creating a divide between those he trusts#and those he doesn't#class disparity/bureaucratic distance is not solved#he revolted not to actually solve the problems#but to place himself above the rest#not for the sole sake of power mind you. for a time he genuinely believes he can save them#but that's for another time#cornelius hickey#the terror#the terror amc
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I need to take to tumblr about how down bad i am for magneto omgosh
LOOK AT HIMMM I WANT TO RUN MY HANDS THROUGH HIS CURLY HAIR
#x men#erik lehnsherr#magneto#Michael fassbender#I want to gnaw on his collarbones#Ho is you junoing#Tumblr is the only person i can talk to about this :(#Tumblr tags save me#I need magnetos magnum.....#The chain#Im foaming at the mouth#Im so sorry
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Read the Snowboard story over the weekend. After this and Biblio it's a miracle this man survived past high school tbh.
#Enstars#Switch#Tsumugi Aoba#Ensemble Stars#Can't decide if he's just incredibly pathetic by nature#Or if 85% of his problems could be solved by a new glasses prescription#Why do we love pathetic men here#Mugi come I will protect u but only as much as the forces of nature will allow bc clearly they are after you and I can only do so much#post by galaxy#Oh for anyone getting their lore from the internet like I have for many years let me explain:#In Biblio he was almost squished to death under piles of bookshelves#Why Midori is always there to save him I will never know (but I will always be grateful)
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Look I love and respect the yuri nation and also think it Sucks when fandoms ignore perfectly good f/f relationships in media for mediocre yaoiz but like we cannot understate just how strong of a presence farcille has in the dungeon meshi community as of writing. Newcomers making the guys suck and fuck is such a non-issue can we chill
#dungeon meshi#ive seen a couple of posts over the past weeks (here and on twit) of people like. genuinely being mad about the spike in m/m#and its like... sorry what are u guys on about#farcille is cute dont get me wrong but like with all ships theres only so many dynamics they can believably have. IMO anyways#and theres other f/f potential too but those are like.. relegated to side characters with a minimal presence in the source material#so its not unsurprising that they dont get much attention (kikimari save me..)#loathe as i am to admit it there are more men in the primary cast/later characters that get a ton of screentime compared to women.#so we get more tuoys to smack around. like. its not unsurprising.#if the dungeon meshi tag on ao3 ends up having m/m overtaking gen AND f/f then we can talk about preservation of endangered species#but right now.. let them cook#theres some lesbian yaoi on the menu so show some respect
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two gay furries from a patreon request who became my ocs...theyre on a date :) the deer is named griffin and im still trying to figure out a name for the rabbit lol...name suggestions welcome ^-^
patreon
#muertodraws#furry#gay furry#furry art#furry oc#the deer is transmasc and the rabbit is cis#yes i already drew them fucking you can find it on my patreon lol#they both love grunge music and uhh are super gay in love with each other#but yeah if anyone has name suggestions for the rabbit pls send them my way!#i was considering layne but thats like my fucking brain rot from listening to alice in chains daily kicking in#i almost named the deer eddie too after months of only listening to pearl jam bro#someone save me my brain has been grunge men for like 6 months now#actually dont save me i love men
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2012 Malaysian Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel & Fernando Alonso
#it is like always palable shock whenever i notice how significant their height dif is#by significant i mean theyre both small to me so seeing that seb is actually noticeably taller is so ?????????#logically i know hes taller but still. it doesnt feel right#it just is not noticeable usually bcs theyre both often around taller men so to see proof of it breaks me#okay about these. they seemed pretty friendly with each other in early 2012 ngl ����#its one thing being friendly when youre on a podium or something bcs its courtesy even if theres tension imo#but them walking together randomly hehehehe 🤭🤭🤭#i wonder what they were talking about. i think they were prob going to the drivers meeting tbh#aaahh also there were other pics(but imago watermark ugh) and theyre just walking so close...pressed shoulder to shoulder#EEEEEEEEE seb always looks so pleased and happy and giggly to be talking to him#every day a catie in your area gets taken over by looking through vettonso pics. it is truly an epidemic.#you can only save her by talking to her about vettonso. ...might make it worse though.#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2012 malaysian gp#I LOVE MALAYSIAN GP SO MUCH BRING IT BACK ALL MY FAV PICS ARE FROM SEPANG AAAGAHHHH
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Tf2 mercs in crutches and mobility aids, save me.... . ..
#i am in such an absoute agony rn <3#my legs and knees are Not Okay™#I am actively dying and only the thoughts of the silly murderous men in crutches can soothe me- me? projecting? more likely than u think#share my pain together silly teufort men#i cant draw them atm so Im just scrolling thru my disabilitymerc tag rn#y'all who sent me ur drawings of disabled mercs into my inbox are saving me btw. my oxygen mask and iv bag fr fr#inject that shit straight into my veins#my post#sput chatters
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there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin
#there are many timelines and variations in lupin as a serie so that every ship could work#in my own prefered timeline lupin finally gets the hint that fujiko plays him like a fiddle#to me she does like him but he is an instrument to her#she is cold hearted and calculating and always thinking about relationships in terms of profit#i got some ideas abt her background that justify this. essentially she kills the detective that is after her and with that kills#the soft part of her that she couldnt control before#eventually and despite his affection lupin gives up the objectifications and the desires he projects onto fujiko#whom uses his delusions like a master tbh#thus allowing himself to consider zenigata. he plays with zenigata the way fujiko plays with him#hes just not as calculating. he feels pity and remorse where fujiko doesnt#he finds the thrills and the doubts and the lack of trust and the risk of betrayal in zenigata. the things that he loves the most#he isnt about stability. he thrives in the unknown. he loves that zenigata could backstab him and does so sometimes#and in that lack of stabilty some form of stability builds up. there is familiarity#and most importantly there are rare times when they can put the game aside and just chill#just enough to gather the energy to go back to trying to kill each other#plus zenigata pampers him during those breaks and he loves that#he acts with carelessness but he does care. in that regard he looses to fujiko#at least thats how she sees it. he doesnt see caring as a flaw#and zenigata is so sweet. he really is. and lupin loves to stirr up the crazy in him#fucking loonies the both of them#so in essence zenigata doesnt really 'save' him from fujiko but he becomes lupins new favourite toy to throw around#fujiko is only upset that because of that ugly looser of a detective her grip on lupin is loosening#she does find ways to use that newly developed affection luzeni has to her advantage thou#lupin is still her instrument she just drags zenigata along now#fujiko is such a good and interesting character and deserves so much better honestly#despite my love for TWCFM i wish there was another serie centralized around her where her ruthlessness is examined#and her cunning is studied. and the proper law enforcement she should face the same way lupin does#shes like a million times smarter and more ressourceful than him. steals much more. embezzles. manipulate#lupin is just a small time pickpocket next to her. she isnt about stealing a painting shes about emptying the pockets of the richest men in#the world. her goals are much more ambitious
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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opening my marvel rivals magneto vid in class so i can look at him like oh my god please dont groan out loud please tell me i muted my shit
#snap chats#listen i can putt hat on loop later in my room late at night with The door locked HOWEEVR NOT BEFORE NOON IN CLASS#someone liked my tweet about it and i wanted to look casuse i gotta look at my big man#and i had a mini heart attack like 'oh my god please dont i dont need people to know i got men groaning and sighing on my laptop'#IT IS TOO EARLY FOR THAT PLEASE my only saving grace is that the like. five dudes here know its just marvel rivals#BUT NO ONE PLAYS TANK THEY WOULDNT KNOW ITS HIIIMMMMMMMM#'snap can you lock in' it is my professor INTRODUCING HIMSELF and i KNOW HIM ALREADY#we're besties... i never said a word in his class but he remembers taht i wear a mask and gave me one when i lost mine#ok bye fine ill semi pay attention#he usually lets his class out early so im hopin he does that so i can get my charger !!!!!!!#'snap was this just an excuse to ramble about your day' NO I SWEAR MY MAGNETO DEBAUCHERY IS ALWAYS AUTHETNIC#i just like talkin bout my day ........ walk with me my friends ....#ok bye. this girl on her tablet drawin shit ima copy her#WAIT I LIED I FORGOT MY TABLET AT MY DORM GODDAMMIT
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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