#only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve

[highraccoon]

it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.

you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

summary: there's nothing quite like being pampered by your partner after coming home from a fight... at least in childe's eyes

pairing: childe x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, a smidge angsty towards the end, mentions of fighting/ wounds; just a scene i had to exorcise from my brain since i'm ridiculously down bad; this is either a modern au or a 'teyvat has blow-dryers now' au, pick whichever one you fancy

genshin masterlist

“Watch it,” you threatened, though your voice lacked any sort of real bite. How could you be truly mad when Childe was grinning up at you, all boyish and playful, a strand of his wet bangs stubbornly falling back into his ocean-hued eyes?

“I wouldn’t have to if you just joined me,” the ginger hummed with no remorse, wet fingers dancing along the hem of your already soaked shirt, itching the creep under it. No doubt, he had already thought about just pulling you into the bathtub with him. “Or you could just take off your clothes if you’re so worried about them getting wet.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s the only reason you’re proposing that, huh?” You cocked your eyebrow at him, gently sweeping his hair back again. Even after you shampooed and conditioned it, it was as unruly and wilful as the guy it was attached to. “No ulterior motives whatsoever, I presume.”

“No ulterior motives whatsoever,” Childe echoed, though his voice carried the same mischief as it did right before he splashed the first wave of water over you. “I’m just looking out for you, darling.”

“The only thing you’re looking out for are your best interests,” you snorted, grabbing the body wash and sponge, motioning for him to turn around. “Now sit still, you literal child. I don’t want to accidentally reopen the wounds I spent so long dressing.”

“You got it,” the ginger laughed, clearly not as concerned with the deep scratches littering his back. Though you really didn’t want to meet whatever had caused them, Childe had excitedly told you all about his scuffles as he came home, still high on adrenaline as you ushered him into the bathroom and peeling off his many layers of clothing.

You shook your head, dispelling the thoughts that started clouding your mind. It was a conversation you have had plenty of times before. Instead you concentrated on the way his lithe muscles flexed and relaxed under your touch, his skin as always pleasantly warm and smooth despite the faded scars littering it. You knew the origins of most, having spent many nights tracing them as you listened to the stories behind them. Sure, some were from thrilling battles, but there were also smaller, odd ones like the one where Teucer accidentally nicked him as he taught his younger brother how to prepare a fish they caught together.

When you were certain your boyfriend was all clean again, you got some fluffy towels as he clambered out of the tub, purposefully not meeting his smug expression as he caught you eyeing the water droplets running down the dibs of his abs. You were also sure there was no need for his arms to flex as much as they did as he towelled his hair dry, leaving the white fabric to rest around his neck. 

Though there was a shirt set out next to his sweatpants, he forewent it completely and you sighed as you followed him out of the bathroom with the blow-dryer in hand. Idly, Childe sauntered over to the bed, sitting down with his back to the frame waiting for you to take your place behind him like you always did.

Gingerly, you rested your legs over his shoulders, feeling his calloused palms wrap around them, his fingers tracing random shapes into your thighs and calves as his bare body radiated heat. Watching the stream of hot air tussle his fluffy strands, your thoughts couldn’t help but circle back to the bloodied wounds on his back. None of them were too deep this time, but…

There was a tap against your calf.

“What are you thinking about?” Of course, Childe would pick up on your dip in mood; he always could. He could probably also guess the direction your thoughts had turned, it wasn’t an uncommon point of discussion. “And you’d better not say it’s nothing.”

“I know I tell you all the time and you always tell me not to worry. And I do have more faith in you than anyone else, but can you be at least a little more careful?” In that moment you were glad your boyfriend was turned away from you, certain your voice would shake even more if you were to look into his eyes right now. 

Running your fingers through his soft hair, you busied yourself with parting the sections to resemble a somewhat orderly hairstyle in order to keep your hands from trembling. Still, Childe easily caught your wrists, sliding his fingers between yours as he twisted to face you.

“You really do worry too much. I’m fine, right? See, everything still attached and working,” Childe smiled, drumming his fingers across your knuckles.

“Yeah but what if something happens? Something that is outside of your control and you don’t—“ You cut yourself off, not daring to speak your worst fear into existence. It would make it seem so much realer. “Just… Ajax, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you, if the other side of the bed was cold—“

“Hey now, none of that,” Childe soothed, reaching up to smooth out the crease of your brows. “You’ll never have to go to sleep alone or wake up to an empty bed. I’ll always come back home to you, I promise. Nothing could keep me away from you.”

The heat of his kisses spread from your knuckles all the way up to your heart, warming you from the inside out as his words soothed your frayed nerves. The logical part of your brain knew he couldn’t actually prevent all bad turns of events from happening but you willed those thoughts away. 

As you curled up under the blanket with him that night, his arm draped securely over your waist to pull you close to him and into his safe embrace, you reminded yourself Ajax had never broken his promises before. So, as the moon bore witness to his vow sealed with more kisses, you decided to believe him.

© the-travelling-witch 2024 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit and do not feed my writing to ai

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[littlefireball]

ᴍɢ|ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴘᴛ.2 (ᴍ)

ᴡᴏʟꜰ ᴍɪɴɢɪ x ʟᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴏʟꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1 ɪꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ)

ꜱᴍᴜᴛ│ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇ|ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ|ʀᴇᴄᴏɴᴄɪʟɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ|ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴘᴇɴᴇᴛʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.2ᴋ

"Get off from my girlfriend! Or I will kill you!!"

"Girl--?"

Before he could finish, Mingi charged towards yellow wolf at an invisible speed and forcefully struck him, sending him flying and crashing onto a nearby wooden table. Unable to withstand the pressure, the table shattered, and the yellow wolf struggled to get back up.

"Girlfriend?? I thought you didn't want her anymore?"

"It's none of your business!" Mingi punched him in the detestable face, knocking out several teeth and leaving bruises all over.

Mingi clenched his fist, eyes wide open, emitting a dangerous golden glow as all his dissatisfaction and anger turned into power.

"You--!" Slapped. "Go--" Punched. "TO--" Kicked. "DIE!"

Mingi's punches landed brutally on the opponent's body, each strike accompanied by his furious roar. The yellow wolf had no strength to fight back and could only let out a deafening scream. His limbs were brutally torn apart, blood splattered, and the sound of bones breaking added an extreme horror to this one-sided massacre.

"Mingi…?"

You weakly attempted to call out to the werewolf in front of you who was going mad. Upon hearing your voice, he immediately ceased the slaughter, as if regaining his sanity, and ran to your side.

"Y/N! Hold on! Stay with me! Please!" The loss of blood eventually caused you to lose consciousness.

"Mingi, go get some rest. You haven't slept since you came back," Yunho said worriedly.

"No, I want to stay by her side." He grabbed your hand, lightly planting a kiss on it, tears streaming down his face, afraid that you would never wake up again.

"He still refuses to rest," Yunho left the room, shaking his head in helplessness. "Whatever we say to him now, he won't listen. Just leave them alone for a while." Seonghwa patted Yunho's shoulder to comfort him, and bring him to leave the room.

"Please wake up, my Y/N. I miss you…I am sorry…" He lowered his head, not knowing if it was his crying that caused you to slowly open your eyes.

"Min…?"

"Y/N?? You're finally awake!" He opened his arms, wanting to embrace you, but you involuntarily retreated. Your heart started pounding, sweat collected on your forehead, as if a monster was sitting in front of you.

"It's me, Mingi. That yellow wolf is already dead, and you're safe."

"Don't touch me…" These words pierced his heart like a blade, making his face turn pale.

"I will leave, I won't appear in front of you again."

You shrugged off the blanket, turned and got out of bed without looking at him, but Mingi immediately caught hold of you.

"Your injuries aren't healed yet, you can't leave."

"It's fine." You tried to shake off his hand, but his strength was much greater than yours, and combined with your weakness from just waking up, your efforts were futile.

"Please listen to me, Y/N. I am sorry…" After hearing these words, you couldn't bear the grievance in your heart anymore, and tears burst out. He looked at you with guilt and pain in his eyes, took a deep breath, and gathered his courage.

"I was too angry at the time, I lost control and didn't listen to your explanation at all. I made you suffer, and I'm truly sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you without any evidence, it was my mistake, I was really terrible."

You didn't respond, continuing to lower your head and cry. You wanted to embrace him, kiss him, feel the warmth he gave you, but your rationality prevented you. You were afraid, afraid that his sincere words now were just impulsive, and who knows if the next second he would kick you out like before?

You didn't want to go through it all over again.

"By the time I found out the truth, it was too late. You had already left me, and I searched for you for a long time, but I couldn't find you. I regretted everything I did." He spoke with remorse and repentance in his broken voice, tears flowing uncontrollably.

"How did you find me?"

"We, just like you, wanted to enter their manor for revenge during the Blood Moon night…and then I caught your scent. I saw you lying on the table, barely alive, and I lost all sense, rushing in without caring if there were any traps…I was so afraid of losing you again…"

Your heart was filled with conflicting emotions and confusion. You couldn't ignore your love for him, but you couldn't forget the mistakes he had made either.

Yes, you still love him, your heart is full of missing him, but the past wounds are too deep, too deep…

"Y/N, can you forgive me…? No, even if you don't forgive me, it's okay. But can you give me a chance to make it up to you? I am so sorry."

You took a deep breath and slowly spoke, "Really?" You still didn't fully believe in his change.

"Yes, I promise. Please. Please let me accompany you and make up for the past." He lightly kissed your hand, causing a small part of your cold heart to melt.

"I need time, Mingi. I might not be able to accept you again in a short period of time. Let me think it over." You let go of his hand, wanting to turn and leave. Though you wanted to rush into his arms, you still lacked the courage.

"Y/N~ Look, I found the fruit you like to eat~" "Y/N~ Do you like this? I'll buy it for you~" "Y/N~ I love you so much~" Since that day, you packed your belongings and moved to a small forest near ATEEZ's habitat, not far away. It was a change of environment, but also a secret hope that Mingi could find you.

As expected, he quickly found your place. He understood the mistakes he made and was willing to take action to make a change. He started actively proving that his love and care were genuine, not just empty words. He became more attentive and considerate in daily life, thinking of you and striving to meet your needs. He even became more clingy, like a big puppy.

Despite your occasional mood swings and moments of distance, trying to avoid contact with him, there were also times when you couldn't help but be moved by his sincerity and wanted to give him a chance. But he stuck by your side, never leaving or giving up. His sincerity touched you, and slowly, you started to be attracted to him and open your heart again.

"Where is my painkiller?" You rummaged through the cabinets, but couldn't find the medication. This made you worried. If you calculated correctly, tonight or tomorrow morning should be the start of your heat.

But now, it was already evening, and it would be very dangerous if you go into heat while going out to buy medicine.

"Did I run out? What should I do…" Maybe you would have to endure the pain of heat for several days without any relief.

Just in case, you filled the bathtub with cold water, so you could immediately soak yourself if the pain became unbearable.

However, you clearly overestimated your pain tolerance. As you were preparing to go to sleep, your stomach suddenly started cramping intensely, as if your muscles were being pulled by ropes.

Sharp pain surged through your body, accompanied by waves of heat and constant sweating. Right now, even getting out of bed was a problem.

"Hmm… Mingi…" You held your feverish stomach, hoping for Mingi to appear.

"Today's practice ends here, let's go back!" Hongjoong said. They would have a routine training session every month, mainly at night. Just as they were returning to their manor, Mingi could clearly smell your scent lingering in the air. The fragrance was sweet and captivating.

"Y/N?" He didn't even look back, running straight towards the source of the scent, leaving the others perplexed.

"Where are you going, Mingi?"

"Y/N?" He opened your bedroom door and saw you lying naked, curled up in bed, with your apple-like scent wafting towards him. He swallowed hard as his sexual desire was awakened completely.

"Mingi, I want help. It hurts."

"Let me help you, my little wolf." He took off all his clothes, climbed onto your bed, and kissed your lips. Your lips were as sweet and soft as ever, a feeling he had missed so much.

Your lips fiercely locked together, the passionate atmosphere radiating from the intense kisses. Breathing heavily and eagerly, it was like two beasts gnawing at each other's lips. Your hands continued to wander over each other's bodies, tracing arousing lines that made your hearts race. The friction between your bodies fueled the fervor, arousing the desires and emotions hidden within both of you.

He left your lips and moved down to suck on your chest. His tongue circled around your nipples, gently biting and licking, producing lascivious sounds of saliva.

"Hmmmm…" Your moans excited him even more. As he kissed your neck, he paused and looked at the bite marks left by the yellow wolf on your skin, feeling a mix of emotions.

"You are mine." He bit down on the same spot, wanting to cover up the disgusting mark.

"Ahhhh…" He kissed your entire body, marking every inch of your skin as his, announcing to the world that you were his possession.

"Mingi… I want more." Simple kisses and bites were no longer enough to satisfy your desires, and you rubbed your legs to express your discomfort.

"Yes, my pretty." His erect member could no longer be restrained. He aimed at your hole and slid into your wet walls.

"Ah, it's been so long. I've missed you so much." He hadn't made love since you left. Now he can finally feel your pussy again.

"ahhh… too big!"

"So fucking tight!" He fucked you at an inhuman pace, as if it was the last day on Earth. "Ha! Ha! Hum!!" Just like him, it had been a long time since you made love. The long-lost excitement sent shivers down your spine, your heartbeat pounding in your chest, as if it wanted to burst out.

Blood rushed through your veins, your cheeks flushed, and your skin temperature gradually rose. The sound of skin colliding echoed like drums, accompanied by moans from both of you.

"Right there, please harder!"

"As you wish." His cock slammed against your G-spot, sending waves of numbness that made you feel a knot in your stomach. You propped yourself up on the bed with your hands, your fingertips turning white from exertion, and your breasts bouncing from his forceful thrusts.

"Ahhh my alpha!" Did he hear correctly? You called him your alpha?

"What baby? Can you say that again?"

"Alpha, please." Tears welled up in his eyes. He had been waiting so long to hear those words.

Your lips met again, both of you enjoying the pleasure it brought. The soft and warm feeling slowly spread, filled with love and emotional blending. Your lips intertwined with tongues, creating sparks of electricity in the dancing flames. He continued to thrust forcefully, filling all your empty spaces, constantly rubbing against your vagina.

"I am cumming." He buried his head in your neck, increasing his speed once again.

"Oh Fuck!! Fuck!! Mingi!!" His beastly nature completely occupied his senses, the frantic speed making the bed frame squeak.

"Please, I need you cum inside me… Breed."

"You want me to cum inside your cunt, huh?"

"Please, please, my alpha. I want your knot." You pleaded, wanting to become one with him. His cock became bigger than before and entered your the deepest part. You gasped in pain and threw your head. Panting so heavily as if oxygen was running out.

"It hurts!"

"You can take it." His tip kept hitting your deepest part and sperm was flowing out. The pain was hard to bear at the beginning but turned into pleasure slowly. Both of you moaned loudly and your scent mixed together.

Not knowing how much time has passed, but you only knew that the energy between the two of you seemed to be endless, constantly exchanging positions; sometimes he spooned you, sometimes he flipped you over, or you were riding him.

"Mingi, I'm cumming."

"Then cum with me, babe."

"Hmm…!" He sat up and wrapped around your shoulder, licking your neck. You lift you head to give him more room so that he could bite your nape. Once he bite, both of you came at the same time. Blood from your nape flowed out a little bit and he licked all.

After it was all over, he pulled out and held you in his arms on the edge of the bed. Your back was against his chest, feeling his breath rise and fall.

He gently pecked your head, saying tenderly, "Do you know? I've waited so long for this day… I was really afraid that you wouldn't want me anymore…" You turned around and lightly kissed his lips.

"I forgave you a long time ago, and…" You snuggled against him. "You knot me, and I am yours." Tears swelled up in his eyes as he finally had you back by his side.

In that moment, your lips gently touched, like butterflies caressing petals, and everything returned to the sweetness of the beginning.

[flower-boi16]

I find Blitz unbearable sometimes. I know it's only two seasons but throughtout the series he learned so many things yet everything still sets back to zero and he never changed from day one. This miserable man drowned in his past for so long that he can never grow. His trauma is his character. It's so boring man the same shit happened over and over with him crying about his exes, friends and family. I know about his current relasionship with Fizz now but I want this dude to change too not just Fizz.

Personally I dont really hate Blitz as a character. Of all the characters in HB he’s the one that season 2 hasn’t completely ruined. He is actually fairly interesting as a character, but some other people have already talked about the depths of his character so I won’t go into it here.

That being said, I really think the issue with Blitz is less about the character himself and more how the show seems to treat him, mainly in regards to Stolitz. Season 1 directly paints Stolas as the one abusing Blitz in the relationship (as it should), making it seem like the show is taking Blitz’s side here, that he has a right to be mad at Stolas and cut him out.

But then season 2 comes along and suddenly the victim and abuser roles are SWAPPED. Now the show is painting Blitz as the one in the wrong for “not loving Stolas” even though he has every reason to hate him, while Stolas is portrayed as nothing but an UwU soft boy. I’ve talked about this before but the show demonizes all the people that Stolas has hurt in some way, and it does this as an artificial way to make him look more sympathetic but painting the characters calling him out on his shit as in the wrong.

Blitz next to Octavia gets the worst of this, both in the show and the fandom. The Circus directly tries to frame Blitz as in the wrong because he apparently was the one who gave Stolas the wrong idea of the relationship, but that fails because that doesn’t somehow change the fact that Stolas is coercing Blitz into sleeping with him, and Stolas should be the one to accept that his delusions of Blitz loving him aren’t gonna be true.

Plus the line with Stolas saying that Blitz was his “first ever friend” feels like a major case of the writing guilt tripping Blitz into having sex with him for Stolas’s pleasure. Oops then tries further to paint Blitz as in the wrong by gaslighting him by having Fizz say “oh, you just hate him for being a prince”, and by then trying to make Blitz look like an asshole for not loving Stolas because Stolas did “so many nice things for him”…of screen, and “he cares for him!!”

This ALSO fails because just because Stolas did some nice things for Blitz OFF-SCREEN and cares about him doesn't somehow mean that Blitz has no reason to get mad at Stolas for once again, sexually abusing him. And yes, that is what Stolas is doing. Plus, none of these "nice things" lined up with any of their interactions in season 1 COMBINED with them happening off-screen, and it makes it feel like a retcon. They can victimize and UwUify Stolas all they want and portay Blitz as a big meanie UwU but it won't change anything.

Nothing will ever change the fact that Stolas is sexually abusing Blitzo, and Blitz has EVERY REASON to dislike him for doing that, NOT TO MENTION him BELLITTLING Blitz in season 1 constantly. YET the show demonizes him. And guess what? The demonization is only gonna get WORSE based on the trailer, where we litteraly have Stolas singing in front of a sign that says "Blitzo sucks", and the line "do ever feel any kind of remorse for what you do" which is said by Stolas.

It's so funny to me how fans will call US media illiterate for not understanding the "nuances" and "complexities" of this reletionship, yet they demonize Blitz and coddle Stolas, ignoring the things Stolas actually did to Blitz like the fact that he....ya know...constantly bellittles and is sexually abusing him, and getting mad at Blitz for "hurting Stolas' feelings". Meanwhile, we're actually the ones taking note of these things and rightfully pointing out that OBJECTIVELY, Stolas is the abuser here, nothing the show can do can change that and I am SICK of the fandom having this braindead idea that Blitz is somehow in the wrong for not loving Stolas. Because he's not. He's REALLY not. No amount of mental gymnastics can somehow change that.

[skyborneveggie]

Ok after finishing the vengeful cop story arc, I do think House was overall in the wrong & did owe Wilson that apology. However, I also still stand by my initial impression. Wilson claims that House doesn't care about what the cop's doing to his life, but House did express remorse in Ep 7. He implied that he was sorry & tried to give Wilson an out before things got worse. But Wilson took that opening to entangle himself further in the situation & made himself complicit in the coma guy's suicide. Wilson did not start getting angry until his prescription license was banned & House started acting dismissive about helping him fill his patents' prescriptions & seems ungrateful for Wilson's display of loyalty. Which is upsetting & cruel of House, yes, but Wilson claiming that House hasn't expressed any of the things that he wanted him to is untrue.

It's probably just a matter of inconsistency between different writers, but this gives the impression that Wilson is not actually as upset about his career being ruined, as he is about House not appreciating his devotion as a friend. And from House's perspective, it seems to me that he feels that after his display of genuine remorse, Wilson already implied his forgiveness and thus there is no need to remain constantly remorseful, and that he can return to his regular old self (and increasingly worse as he gets cut off from Vicodin). To House, they've already talked about it & moved past it in Ep 7, so no need to dwell. But for Wilson, they only started talking about it in Ep7 & he doesn't consider them to have moved past it until the entire stressful situation is over.

(I also feel that while there's no direct evidence, it's possible that Wilson is also partly mad at himself for being unable to walk away at the given opportunity, or mad at himself for expecting House to behave differently from his usual self once he accepted his apology. And he's bundling that together with his anger at House, & directing all of it at him.)

tldr; Wilson is justified in his anger towards House, but he's not being entirely truthful about House's interpersonal actions.

Also the most annoying person in this story arc was Cameron, who was actively angry at Wilson over something that is really none of her business.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Duke's All That by Christina Britton

3.5/5. Releases 2/6/2024.

Vibes: "my wife is dead--OR IS SHE?", inconveniently talking parrots, there's only one bed, och aye

Working class guy turned unexpected duke Iain thought he was a widower... for thirteen years. Except oops, his wife, Seraphina, has been alive the whole time. And they're still legally married, whether they want to be or not. Ian isn't very happy with Seraphina, who he believes left him without remorse; and Seraphina isn't any happier with Iain, who she charges with his own betrayal. She's made a happy life for herself, and Iain could upend everything she loves; but there's still something between them, and even getting a divorce may not be enough to stop that.

Apparently, "I thought my spouse was dead" is on trend for 2024, and I'm not mad at it! This book was off to a great start with a reunion between Iain and Seraphina, both seriously pissed. And I do love their interplay, the hurt feelings and the snippiness and the remaining attraction. This is a solid book.

... Which makes it a little more disappointing that it's not everything it could've been. It's a pleasant read; I did like it; and I suspect that some of the people reading this would really like it. But I think it could've hurtled to a different level if there had been just a bit more stretching.

Quick Takes:

--This is the type of plot that does rely on chemistry to make the couple believably matched, and Iain and Seraphina do have that. There's more to their history than their (brief) time as a married couple, and that added to the sense of hurt feelings. They don't quite know each other--I mean, can you know someone after thirteen years of separation?--but they do still have feelings for each other, and that's rather delicious.

--Here's the thing, though. After this really arresting first meeting, you kind of go into this "hurry up and wait" thing. I get why Britton focused on Seraphina's relationships with her friends and her sisters. She's a girl's girl. I love female friendships in romance novels, especially historicals.

However, the focus on those relationships and Seraphina's life without Iain either needed to get cut down a good bit, or it needed to be shifted to another part of the book. For all that these two had a lot of chemistry, I didn't feel like they had enough time together in the first chunk of the novel, and that slowed the pacing significantly. Once we get to them one-on-one, I was kind of frustrated.

--Your mileage may vary on why there's so much confusion between Seraphina and Iain and what they both think of each other. I don't really mind miscommunication and secrets in romance, but I will admit that there is a lot happening here. On the other hand, I don't know that this kind of plot works without it.

That being said, there are a lot of external forces at play. Which again, may work for you. I felt like it was sort of... shoved in there to shift some of the blame off the two of them. I'd rather they both have to come to terms a bit more about being a little (or a lot) irrational. Because feelings!

--I did like how tough Seraphina was, and how willing she was to go to major lengths--including painful ones--to take care of herself and her sisters. It's rough at points, but I respected it, and it made her subsequent feelings and emotional walls more understandable.

Conversely, I found Iain to be a bit more "also ran" but still, he was a solid hero. I kind of would've liked him to be more of an asshole, to be honest. But that's kind of hard to pull off in the current market.

The Sex:

There are a few sex scenes, none of which are bad, but they're also not anything super explicit or super tame. Sort of flowery, but not super flowery, if that makes sense. I do think it could've happened a bit earlier in the book. Like I said, this is a slow burn.

Overall, I don't know that this book made me feel like I MUST read another Christina Britton novel anytime soon. But it was good, and I appreciated the places it went to. If you're into something that touches on the "dead spouse but not really" thing without going too far, check it out.

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[roccinan]

If the timeline in Berlin spin off is in 2013. So it is after the Chapel scene where andres left Martin.

So it was after his Fifth Marriage and divorced. Because he didn't marry Camille. He was just having a short affair, so she didn't become wife number 6th. I think that kind of make sense. You know, the absence of Martin.

But looks like Andres didn't suffer anything. He looks like some asshole ready to fall in love again. The way I see it, Andres didn't really love Martin. He loves the idea of being in Love. He always have to be in love. And that's why. Martin asked him if he can love him, but andres said no. because he knows the friendship would be ruined, because falling in love for him were like a short vacation, and he liked Martin as a friend, the idea of having romance with Martin would be like the other women he has ruined and left. so he refused, because he valued his platonic friendship with Martin.

And he was a homophobic. He's not gay. Looks like straight laced, traditional man. A misogynistic towards everything. I can see that clearly. He's just an entertainer, a playboy, who like to flirt here and there with everyone, giving them the wrong signals. And also a true Sociopath who really didn't feel any guilt, or remorse. That is scary. It's just my opinion. I hope you don't mind me sharing here. 🙏🏻

But perhaps I was wrong about the timeline. And I hope I was. Because I was hoping this spin off is before he met Martin.

Hold your horses, anon! That's my wife- Andres de Fonollosa- you're slandering here!

But seriously though LOL Fortunately anon, I can assure you that you are wrong about the timeline. No matter how fucked up the math is, it's physically impossible for the spinoff to take place after Andres' 5th marriage because:

Andres consistently had a receding hairline in lcdp (both present and flashbacks), so the only reason they gave him a whole new hairline/style in the spinoff was to make him look years younger

Andres was already diagnosed with helmer's myopathy when he married Tatiana, or at least during their marriage, and in the spinoff, he explicitly says this particular story takes place before he had any indication of illness

Andres went to jail immediately after divorcing Tatiana, and then immediately when to Toledo with Sergio after his release, and by then he was already taking morphine injections every day (none of this fits linearly with how healthy he is in the spinoff)

Whether or not Camille becomes wife 4 is up in the air, but we can be certain Tatiana came along AFTER her. So Martin not being in the spinoff most logically means Andres just didn't know him yet. Also might be giving the writers too much credit, but a lot of Andres' behavior tells us he doesn't have Martin in his life yet-

Losing his nerves when Damian jokes about sleeping in his bed (whereas he himself was happily crawling into bed with Martin in lcdp)

Getting mad at Roi for the 3 kisses thing (but letting Martin tie his bowtie in public, and instead of getting mad at Martin, he attacks the man who laughed at them for it)

This is definitely an Andres desperate to be seen as straight LOL and everything he does comes off as a pre-Martin Andres given how much he waxes about nobody understanding his love, blah blah blah He doesn't have a Martin to go "you're so right babe, I support you <3" by his side, just Damian.

I agree with your reason for why Andres "rejected" Martin though. He loves the idea of being in love, but he was never truly IN love with a woman, let alone a man. And he loves Martin & his friendship with Martin too much to risk ruining that. In other words, like Martin said, he was afraid to let their relationship become anything more.

Hmm, I do think Andres can feel remorse though. We've seen him mention regrets. It's guilt he claims he can't feel. But ironically, for all his macho bravado, I don't think Andres is homophobic. He wouldn't have been best friends with Martin otherwise. And just my opinion too, but I think Pedro always played Andres as bi, not gay, not straight LOL.

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

My goodness, work has been exhausting lately. Two shoplifters, three obnoxious customers -- just today. Saturday was mostly fine, but Friday. Ugh. Jane and new mgr Tasha's rivalry reached a boiling point, and (to stick with the metaphor) head mgr Scott looked at the boiling water spilling onto the stove top and still didn't turn off the burner. I spent Friday and Sunday post-closing-time sitting on the floor of the back room, among the boxes like a wounded animal taking shelter. It might be because of my annual early-fall depressive episodes (several years ago at that time, I was hospitalized and went to what was basically rehab), but I don't feel great.

Long post under the cut, more for my own processing of it all than for Tumblr funnies. Read or don't.

Ah, new manager Tasha. Loud, hotheaded, brash, arrogant. Jane is none of those things but will stand her ground if someone who is those things starts to disrespect her. When Tasha said to Jane one night "head manager Scott is irritated that you didn't finish this task yet, and you need to do it right now" Jane said "Scott doesn't speak to me in that way. Tasha, you and I are the same level, you don't get to order me around like that. Scott can tell me himself what he wants me to do." I don't know what Tasha said next but it clearly wasn't any kind of remorse or self awareness.

When Jane told Scott about the issue, Scott's response was "Tasha should know not to make you mad." Which makes me suspect that the content of Tasha's provocative statement was true but her delivery was not what Scott was hoping for. He called them both to the office to talk.

According to Jane, Scott basically went "you two just have different personalities. Do you guys want to talk it out? Oh, Tasha, you don't want to try to mend the relationship? I'll just not schedule you for overlapping shifts from here on out." Jane was extremely bothered by the fact that Scott didn't chastise Tasha for basically trying to do a power play on an employee who's worked there longer and is the same level. Also apparently Tasha sat on Scott's desk instead of accepting the chair that was offered to her? And Scott had no comments to make regarding that.

This was a week ago. The first shift after that went down, Jane was in a very bad mood. Said she was done going above and beyond for this place that doesn't respect her. (I give it a month. She's hardworking and can't stand being idle. But that's beside the point.) It was exhausting to be around. What's the post about "moms leech vibe arsenic into the air when they're annoyed"? Yeah that.

Saturday was fine. Luke was the mgr, he's very easygoing so he leeches vibe oxygen. A breath of fresh air. There was one very suspicious guy trying to buy ammo (he didn't get to) and one guy who was complaining to his family about how I wouldn't let him use the employee bathroom. When his wife tried to shush him, he said "no I hope she [me] DOES hear." Aww how cute. Say it to my face next time, coward. Too scared of my honest response, being that corporate is too cheap to pay for the plumber -- and once we banned customers from the restroom we suddenly didn't need constant plumber visits anymore?

Sunday, back with Jane, who was in a better mood. It was the only day Tyler and Elliott were both scheduled for sales. Pity I was too miserable to enjoy it.

The five annoying customers.

Old guy who tried to flirt with me, and when I wrote him a rain check card for an item he wanted and had him write his phone number on it, he said "you can go ahead and give that to any attractive ladies ;)" gross. Fuck off. Don't make me sicc my boyfriend on you.

Guy who still made me scan his inapplicable coupons after I explained to him why they were obviously inapplicable. Then he sassed me. Not my fault you're too stupid to read the biggest words on the coupon. Sorry I had to explain how numbers and dates work to you.

Customer who wanted to try on every single pair of sunglasses in the locked case. Jane was stuck at the counter handing the lady sunglasses, for over half an hour. I had been trying to go on my break, I said I would when Jane finished with the last customer in that area. And then half an hour passed without me getting to go. Fuck me, I guess.

Shoplifter 1: tried to start conversations with both me and Elliott? But in neither case was this guy able to articulate a coherent sentence. "you uh yeah uh some people are uh idk you know what I mean?" no. I don't actually. Left his conversation with me abruptly to grab a soda from the fridge and run out the door with it + a ton of our expensive jackets. I yelled "for shame!" at him because he was a disgrace.

Shoplifter 2: tried to run out the back door with stuff, luckily Jane called sales to put the heavy weights on the back door before the guy could. As he shamefully walked up to the front with his stuff, Jane was like "wow you don't have the balls to go out the front? That's sad." Guy played dumb, went "wdym" and then ran out the front with his stuff anyway.

Too tired to finish the post but basically I spent the weekend tired and miserable 🙃

[cyberfeather]

If you want to, how about "I hate seeing you like this...please, let me help." from the prompt list with Fox? And maybe also with Wolffe, or whoever you're feeling? Thank you!

Thank you so much for the ask anon! 💗 Here’s Wolffe comforting Fox in an AU where the chip conspiracy was discovered and Palpatine got killed in battle by the Jedi, but he used the inhibitor chip to turn Fox against his batchmates during that final fight. I hope you’ll like it!

Prompts list

"I hate seeing you like this...please, let me help." - Fox & Wolffe

Fox is sitting in a corner of the Chancellor’s office, curled up in a ball. His whole body aches from bruises and probably a few broken bones, but it’s nothing compared to the crushing weight of what he’s done.

The Sith lord is dead, and his brothers of the Coruscant Guard are finally safe, but no thanks to him. Not when his actions could have condemned them all. Tears are gathering at the corners of his eyes, but he doesn’t let them fall, just like he represses his sobs. He doesn’t feel like he has any right to express his misery or burden anyone with it.

When Wolffe crouches next to him, Fox can’t bear to look at him in the eyes, not when all he can see is the still fuming blaster shot on his sibling’s forearm. How can he deserve any compassion, when he’s the one responsible for this?

“You should leave me alone.” He murmurs, barely loud enough to be heard.

“When you’re obviously hurt? I don’t think so. C’mon, let’s take you to a medic.”

Wolffe offers a hand to help him stand up, but Fox refuses it with a shake of his head. His sibling’s kindness just makes the raging self-hatred that burns in his chest even worse. He doesn’t understand how Wolffe has it in his heart to care for him.

“Why are you even bothering with me? I’m not worth it.”

Fox can’t see the way Wolffe frowns upon hearing him, but he definitely feels the hand on his shoulder when his brother sits next to him.

“Don’t say that kind of things, Fox’ika. Of course you’re worth it, you’re my brother! Force, I hate seeing you like this...please, just let me help.”

His touch and words are comforting, and Fox wishes for nothing more than to melt into it, but he can’t. Not with how he’s failed him, how he’s failed their whole batch. Wolffe shouldn’t be concerned with him. In the chaos of battle, Fox has seen Bly get injured, and Rex too, struck by force lightning. Wolffe should be staying by their side, not his.

“How are you not mad at me? If General Kenobi… If he hadn’t stopped me, I… I would have killed Cody.”

As Fox speaks, rapid memories flash before his mind. Of the Jedi coming to confront the Chancellor about inhibitor chips, their lit lightsabers in hand. Of his batchmates accompanying them. Of the terrible words. Order 66. Good soldiers follow orders. Of his whole world revolving around eliminating traitors and nothing else. Of himself putting all his strength and skills into trying to murder his own brothers, and Force, how could they ever forgive him?

Whenever he closes his eyes, the moment when he almost struck down Cody unfolds again and again. He had him in his line of sight, would have pulled the trigger, would have killed him without remorse, if General Kenobi hadn’t force-pushed him into a wall just in time. And to make it worse, it gave Sidious the opening he needed to attack the Jedi, and now Kenobi is missing an arm all because of Fox, and Cody will never look at him the same again…

Fox only realizes he has started sobbing loudly when Wolffe wraps his arms around him and pulls him close. He fondly threads his fingers through Fox’s hair, in the way that always managed to calm him down when they were still cadets. It helps keep the intruding thoughts away. That’s so much more than Fox deserves, but he can’t find it in himself to push his brother away. Instead, he clings to Wolffe like a traumatized shiny who just survived his first battle would.

“Don’t blame yourself, none of it was your fault. You were under the influence of Sidious, may that bastard rot in hell. He’s the one who made you do all this.”

“That’s not an excuse!” Fox blurts out “I should have been strong enough to resist it! I… Kriff, I hurt you… It was my role to protect you, and instead, I hurt you…”

“You were manipulated by a Sith, Fox! No vod would have been strong enough to resist him. If anything, we should be the ones sorry for not noticing something was wrong earlier. So please, just let us fix our mistakes and look after you.”

“But, Bly and Rex, they’re… And Cody… Because of me, his General… He’s… They’ll hate me, Wolffe!”

Fox tries to stay coherent, he really does, but it’s hard when his weakened body is trembling with every sob. His mind and emotions feel like they’re in shambles, too. Wolffe sighs and keeps stroking the back of his head in an affectionate manner.

“Now, that’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard you say. Of course, they won’t. We love you, you idiot. Force, you have no idea how horrifying it was when Sidious activated your chip. How terrified we were of never getting you back, vod’ika.”

There’s a shaking edge to Wolffe’s voice, one that’s usually reserved for when he talks of the troopers he lost to the Malevolent. His words are filled with so much sincerity that it finally hits Fox: his brothers love him still, and they’ll keep on loving him, no matter how much he despises himself. Fox can barely comprehend how or why, but he’s hurt and exhausted, and the warmth of Wolffe’s arms feels right.

“Let me take you to the medbay. Let me show our brothers you’re you again. I’m sure they’re all worried. Rex almost refused to follow the medics because he wanted to stay with you, you know. So please, come with me?”

That’s what finally decides Fox; the need to see for himself if their siblings are doing alright. In the end, he’s still their ori’vod. If his batchmates still want him by their side, then it’s his duty to look after them. He silently nods his agreement and his brother helps him to his feet. His legs are still wobbly and he winces from the pain, but with some help from Wolffe, he manages to stay upright.

His vod keeps an arm wrapped under his shoulder, strong and reassuring, as he guides him away from the Chancellor’s office and all the awful memories he associates it with. Fox leans on him in more ways than one, too drained out not to accept his help, even if he’s still not completely sure he deserves it. Still, Wolffe deems him worthy of love and care, and Fox is in desperate need of both, so where’s the hurt in letting his brother win that battle? Not that Fox really stood a chance to begin with: Wolffe has always been the stubborn one of their batch, after all.

                                                  ~~~~~

Wolffe smiles softly when his vod finally accepts his help, although timidly. A twinge of guilt grips at his heart for not intervening before things got this bad, for how oblivious he’s been of the Guard’s silent suffering, but he pushes it aside. Now is not the time for regrets, not when Fox needs him more than ever. He can tell it will take time to repair all the damage caused by Palpatine and rebuild Fox’s confidence, but he’ll be there every step of the way.

[minouyujis]

"alright boys, next practice is friday before the big same. if any of you are late, i'm sitting your asses on the bench. got it?"

"yes coach!"

"damn right. now you sweaty fucks need to get out of my damn gym!"

itadori was never really scared of the fact that his best friends father was his basketball coach. megumi being on the same varsity team made it training harder, only pushing toji to strive further with his high school team. for the past three years, they've won each state championship and with the duo coming to the end of their high school years, they just had to win this final game. it would be a record.

"that was the worst training i feel like we've had," megumi mumbled under his breath being the first to break the silence in between the two as they stood infront of the water fountain, itadori downing the liquid till his heart contents as megumi wipes the back of his head with a hand towel. "i've never felt so numb in my damn life."

"hmm," itadori spoke, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm before going to pick up a hand towel as well. "your dad is harsh man. he takes one mistake and blames the fuck up on all of us." this had made the lad scoff in agreement. "i'm gonna start heading to the steak house. you coming?" itadori nodded, grabbing his phone before throwing his towel over his shoulder. "yeah. i'll meet you there. gotta get changed."

"don't forget your wallet. you're paying this time."

"okay broke boy," the pink haired boy spoke. "relax. i always make sure to cover." megumi rolled his eyes, making his way out of the locker room and towards where the both of them had planned to start heading after practice.

it was a normal thing that was held between the both of them. itadori labeled it 'bro time' whenever they finished practice every week. they were obviously very close despite the difference in personalities.

after changing back into a casual attire he had packed for the rest of the day, he was ready to go. itadori had spotted megumi's phone laying on the side of the lockers, cursing him for forgetting something so important to the event. "damnit. he's the one that made reservations."

with one of his hands clutching onto the phone and the other with his wallet, the tall boy jogged down the hallway with no remorse of being cautious. it was after school hours and most of the security would have already clocked out, so naturally he felt as if he really had no worry to be scolded about running down the halls until-

"watch where your going, jerk!"

"crap," he spoke too soon. itadori stared down at the girl who he hadn't felt bumped into, herself passive-aggressively picking up the papers he made her drop. "i'm sorry," he continued. "i didn't mean t-"

"i don't care. shouldn't it be common sense not to run down the halls? douchebag.." she spoke, her eyes shooting daggers into his soul as he continued to help her. he let out a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. "yeah, thats my bad. i need to stop that habit."

ignoring his response, she had snatched her papers away from his hands as soon as she had the oppurtunity. "now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to be late for my studies."

"school is over. you know you can relax a bit, right? who has studies at the end of the day?" he asked her with genuine confusion. this pissed her off even more, his presence already adding on. "none of your business, you dork! shoo already!"

"i'm the dork when you're the one... studying during after hours?"

if looks could kill he told himself internally. her e/c eyes held its dark gaze, if one could tell she was already mad it would've bursted her bubble even more. "do you even remember my name?" she spoke.

"am i supposed to?"

"ugh you-! i can't even look at you right now yuuji!"

"you're making me feel bad. have we met before?"

the girl huffed, turning her heel. this conversation had been done for her a long time ago, even before they had bumped into each other. clearly itadori's brain was as small as rocks if he couldn't even remember the simplest things. fuck, now he felt terrible. her face looked familiar, and so did her aura, but just where could they have been seen together? and then it clicked.

"wait!" he called out, the spark in between his eyes lighting up. "y/n, right? you were my math tutor."

"congratulations!" she spoke, turning her entire body around towards him once again in between steps. "you finally got something right for once instead of any of the questions on your calculus quizzes. you really hit the jackpot there, didn't you?"

fuck. now he felt really bad.

he understood why she had been so pissed at him throughout this entire interaction. usually people would just tell you, "not a problem" or either completely ignore you if you had bumped into someone, but she had every reason to feel sensitive towards his actions. the last time they had both talked, itadori had completely blew her off that day, pretending that he was too sick to go anywhere with her after he told the poor girl he "owed her for helping him get his grade up" when in reality he had been out with his friends that entire day.

she only knew because she caught him across the street from the bookstore she asked him to meet her at that day. only a fool would lie his way out and stroll around the most obvious street.

as she became collective, y/n realized that she had been wwsting more time. not giving him anymore chance to think, she had already been walking further down the halls, continuing where she left off.

"wait, y/n i'm sorry!" he softly yelled, slightly jogging towards her fast paced walking. "let me make it up to you, please!"

"by doing what, itadori?" ouch. last name terms. he sighed. "i should've never lied to you, i don't even know why i did in the first place."

"whatever. can i get to my studies now?"

"give me a second, please." he had practically been begging at this point. she tapped her foot rapidly, both arms crossed over her chest in an irritable manner. "i know how much you love reading, however, i do not. if it's not manga, then i'm not interested. thats the only reason why i bailed on you and i'm really sorry for that."

the girl looked up to him, a hint of hurt in her eyes. "you know you could've told me, right? instead of lying? we could've just gone somewhere else instead."

"now that you mention it i really could've done that, i just don't know why i never thought of that in the first place." he spoke more into a mumble with his hand rubbing the back of his neck, red flushing onto his face. the gesture made her feel just a bit better. "can i take you out for real this time, please? i'll pay. it's the least i could do."

she sighed. he seemed genuine throughout this whole conversation, and she swore that if he had let her down once again she'd hunt him down and end him in his sleep. "fine. not today though, you're literally keeping me from my studies."

"okay dork," yuuji teased. she groaned out of annoyance, continuing towards the classroom that she should've been in for the last twenty minutes that had gone wasted. "have fun studying, nerd!"

megumi was definitely going to be pissed at him for not being on time, again.

[septembersghost]

I was watching Wiedersehn earlier (love that argument, though I do think the committee is useless for not understanding when someone is sincere or not) and I love Jimmy deeply, and of course Kim is a mess too, but my god do I want to smack him upside the head for assuming Kim doesn’t love him and is just sleeping with him for kicks. Like for someone so emotionally constipated she exits a conversation by talking about wanting to see a kitchen (see Bingo) she does a great job of showing her love

the committee makes me want to run around the table slapping them all in turn, because there is no ethical or professional reason, NONE, that they should be sitting there waiting for jimmy to open up about his trauma over losing his brother. they want him to grovel in remorse because what happened with chuck is why his license was suspended, but judging him for not doing so is absurd, his expression of sorrow is not a measure of his worthiness to be reinstated. (this is not a criticism of the writing btw, it makes total sense, it just infuriates me!) he does such a great job, and then it's that totally invasive "was there any particular influence?" question that sinks him. (i want to know how they would've reacted if he'd cited kim as a reason there, it certainly would've been true.) it works so effectively because i feel every ounce of his rage and frustration when he throws his briefcase at the wall, when he's angry on that rooftop. they are not owed his personal grief to determine if he's worthy of being a lawyer! and then he plays them like fiddles because that's all they care about hearing. tbh it's no wonder he loses another portion of his faith in the law at that moment, but more than that, it's no wonder kim does too.

"how do you disprove insincere?" it's awful, i gnash my teeth over it

that said, jimmy's reaction to kim is wildly unfair, but it's all terrible projection. he's mad, he's dejected, he feels rejected yet again, he can't lash out at chuck because chuck is dead in a horrible way after saying horrible things to him, he can't tell her about that final conversation or about the guilt he's tried to strangle because of the insurance, he can only think about how the committee thought he was insincere, and chuck thought he was destined to be a scumbag who hurts everyone and that he wasn't a real lawyer to begin with, and here's kim, always on his side, and WHY? she must secretly judge him too, right? and they've been drifting apart a bit, as we see in the opening of something stupid, and i almost feel like he has this bandaid-ripping kind of reaction where he wants to get it over with, confirm that she's done with him too. which of course she isn't. but when he's feeling grief/guilt like that, he explodes at whoever's there (like later when he does this to howard at the courthouse) to take the hit. kim doesn't deserve it, she KNOWS she doesn't deserve it, she hits back because she's been delicately walking around his feelings for months. her first reaction, her very first instinct, is that they'll handle it. "we will fix it." her confusion and dismay isn't because she doesn't believe him, it's because she's been trying her very best to understand his response to chuck's death through that entire year, to support him in it, and she's been waiting for him to say something about that loss too (and with her, it's not an unreasonable request, but jimmy can't get there).

and jimmy lies so bitterly, "i don't think about chuck, i don't miss chuck. chuck was alive and now he's dead and that's that. finito. life goes on. so sue me." ANYONE who loves someone is going to have a distressed reaction to that! it has nothing to do with her not wanting him or not loving him and everything to do with concern. his anger at her isn't at her, really, it's at chuck. and she's right in everything he says - she's always on his side, she comes running when he calls, she drops everything for him every single time. she was a willing participant, yes, but she compromises herself for him and that's one of the only times he throws it back at her (the other time is 1x09, and he quickly realizes the truth there too). he knows he's wrong and he instantly regrets it, but it's such a painfully loaded situation.

their reconciliation being done in such an understated way always gets to me as well. "i messed it all up." "you still want to be a lawyer?" "yeah." "well, we can start with that." she doesn't hesitate to still help and show up for him! you're right, even though she often avoids saying the hard things out loud too (they both are so skilled at compartmentalizing and dancing around things...dancing is a dangerous game!), she ALWAYS shows her loyalty and love for him. she loves him so much. i'm sick 😭💙

[dameronology]

it's no use, i just do {bucky barnes}

'if i just wanted someone to hold, then really anyone would do/i'd close my eyes and really try not to turn them into you, but it's no use, i just love you' - no use i just do, hayley williams

(a.k.a: the one where bucky needs a hug, but specifically from you)

eugh more bucky stuff from my drafts? yes. i think so. truth be told, I started writing this like 3 months ago (whenever flowers for vases came out) but it's been sat collecting dust. enjoy :-)

- jazz xx

p.s this is spoiler free!

The nights were always hardest for Bucky Barnes.

The dark always reminded him of the furthest corners of his mind; the ones holding his worst memories, skeletons collecting dust, rotting away until he forgot about them completely or forced them out with intensive therapy. Both were options that he was completely dreading - so he forced them down, forced them to the back and did everything within his power to ignore. It was easy enough during the day, when he was surrounded by his friends, occupied by work and the buzz of New York City.

Then the sun went away, and with the rising of the moon came the echoes and ghosts of Winter Soldier's past. Thanks to the likes of Netflix and YouTube, the modern world was filled with enough things to distract Bucky from the grips of his own mind. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

And tonight was one of the nights where it didn't. Every time he shut his eyes - squeezed them shut and gripped onto his thin blankets like a flimsy anchor to the present - he got flashbacks. Reminders of the things he'd done and the people he'd hurt. They always had the same look in their eyes, whenever they flashed into his mind. He couldn't see it then, but now he could feel again, he knew it was fear. The same look he had in his eyes every time he was clamped into a chair and forced to have the last remaining ounce of his humanity wiped.

Bucky's hold-ups about his feelings for you seemed almost comical compared to the problems he dealt with then. But he could feel more now, which meant his brain was so hyperaware of every little thing he felt for you; love, attachment, fear. All things that were enough to send him into a spiral, even if the feeling of your arms around him and lips meshed against his was the first reminder of his humanity since nineteen-forty-fucking-five.

Distance had felt like the answer. Cutting you out completely and acting like he hadn't fallen into your bed every night for six months seeking comfort. It was kind of a dick move, but it was one you understood. Actually, no, it wasn't, because you didn't understand a single thing the man ever fucking did. That's probably why you'd let him go so easily - people came and went. Maybe he was just supposed to be the latter.

How was it going, you ask? Given that Bucky had elbowed his way into your apartment complex at 3AM and was pacing outside your front door - pretty fucking terribly. Normally, he wasn't that bad at resisting the urge to seek you out, but tonight had been hard. Too hard. His hands were still shaking, shirt still sticking to his back with sweat. The nightmares had been...visual, to say the least. He felt like a monster, and you were the only person he trusted enough to convince him otherwise.

"Hey, dumbass. I have a Ring doorbell - what the fuck are you doing out there?"

Bucky jumped at the sound of your voice. Technology: 1. Barnes: 0.

The front door swung open, revealing a tired-looking you. Your hair was pushed back off your face, large nightshirt swamping your body. He knew you got mad when your beauty sleep was interrupted, but you got even madder when he suffered in silence.

"I..." Bucky trailed off.

"Nightmares. I know." You stepped aside. "Come in."

You didn't push any further, or berate him for his radio silence over the last few weeks. He was grateful for that. You were the only person who didn't ask so many questions all the time. Bucky didn't mind talking, but recounting his entire life story to Sam Wilson whilst they drove to Walmart wasn't his idea of fun.

Your apartment still felt homier than his. The walls were covered in photos of you and your friends and family, and shitty little drawings done by your various, younger relatives. Your fridge had postcards and letters hung on it, and there was clutter all over the kitchen counter. The thousands of pillows piled high on your sofa were practically a safe haven. There was a soft scent of vanilla hanging in the air from all your little diffusers, making him smile slightly.

"You got new curtains?" Bucky helplessly pointed to your window.

"How very observant of you." You placed a hand on his arm as you brushed past him. "What's going on, Buck?"

"With my life, or just tonight?"

"I don't think we have time for the first one." You fell onto the sofa. "Sit."

He took a seat beside you; not on you, but close enough so that your knees were touching. "Every time I close my eyes, I remember."

"That wasn't you." You gently reminded him, reaching out to push his hair back. "Not then and not now."

"I still did it though." He held his hands out in front of him. "These are the hands that killed innocent people. This is the brain that felt no empathy or remorse."

"No." You firmly said. "Those are the hands that fought in Wakanda, for the good fight. This is the brain that comes up with the worst jokes I've ever heard and regularly forgets to buy toilet roll."

His blue eyes wavered from the floor, capturing your gaze. He suddenly fell back against you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head in your chest. Everybody else went out their way to make him seem like a monster or a saint - but you? You just made him seem like a human. There wasn't a single perfect one of those. Steve Rogers probably came close, but he was a fucking terrible driver.

"I..." Bucky trailed off. He knew what he wanted to say. Just didn't have the courage to verbalise it. "I appreciate you."

"I know." You murmured, carding a hand through his hair.

Bucky had gone to therapy. He'd taken up exercise (and boxercise and jazzercise) and yoga. He'd tried those stupid fucking cleansing smoothies that his neighbour had sold him - at the time, he had yet been introduced to the idea of multilevel marketing schemes - and gone to meditation classes. None of it worked. Not for a single second.

Then you came in the picture, and he began to see colour etched into the edges of an otherwise black and white world. Where there had been nightmares and flashbacks, he'd found a peaceful night's sleep and pleasant dreams (normally of you, truth be told). The simplicity of it was what made it so complex - because he didn't understand it. Couldn't get his head around the fact that you actually, genuinely wanted to help him.

And he knew it wasn't just your touch or the softness of your skin against his. He'd tried it - sleeping with strangers and staying around the morning after to cuddle. Anything to find human contact with the emotion and the commitment; the very two components that were the secret ingredients to the two of you working so fucking nicely.

"Thank you." Bucky murmured.

"For what?"

"For just..." He glanced up at you, blue eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place, "treating me like everyone else. Like a normal person."

"You are a normal person." You softly smiled. "Maybe with a little more baggage, but to the right person, that won't matter."

"Does it matter to you?"

"That's a trap." You thinned your eyes at him. "But no, it doesn't."

He tightened his grip on you, the fear and anxiety draining from his soul. He knew now more than ever that the comfort didn't come from the way he was being held, or the way he was being spoken to. It was who was holding him, and who was speaking to him. You came out on top, every time.

That was why it worked.

It was you. And there was nothing he could do about it.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Little did you know - Kaz Brekker/platonic! Crows x fem! reader

A/n: I don't know where this came from... It's a mess but its like- whatever I guess

Warnings: GORE, DEATH, TORTURE, questionable sanity, this could be disturbing to some people so don't say I didn't warn you!

I do not own six of crows or shadow and bone or it's characters

Summary: The Crows make a vital mistake when trying to get information not knowing that it would cost them everything...

(Gif not mine)

Her hair flows in the wind the only part of her moving the rest still as a serpent creeping up on its prey. Slowly, she starts to move forward as she spots her victims, some pretty little birdy's, just some unusually remarkable crows. If anything went right today the only thing that would be remarkable about them would be their downfall.

She almost yells out in excitement and joy when they wander right into her trap. They walk into her house - a dead merchant's house and go to loot what's left of it.

From her vantage point in the ceiling, she can see everything, from Nina's hands out ready to Matthias beside her. She sees Jesper's darting eyes and Wylan's uneasiness. Moreover, she can even see Inej Ghafa in the shadows high on alert ready to strike at any moment, just in case.

Then her eyes find Kaz and she almost kills him there and then.

He's in his normal attire and he hadn't changed his atrocious haircut either. Yet he's different still, it's the way he's holding himself. Like he feels accomplished.

And even though he has his neutral 'I'm bored' face on Y/n can see through him. She's always been able too and right now he's happy for an easy run. Not a trace of him is guilty or mourning and it's only been one week.

Now that she thinks about it there's not a trace of mourning in anyone.

Balling her hands into fits she nearly screams in agony, they thought she had died and they didn't even care. If she had any doubts before they're gone with just some simple observation.

Yet Y/n still waits and as soon as the Crows get into the trap completely she starts moving.

They had killed her loving parents who worked at a bakery, they had done nothing, nothing wrong. But now they were still six feet under, and she knew it was not just some casualties. Kaz was too precise for that.

She creeps up behind Inej and knocks her out cold before she can even cry out, Y/n catches her body before it can hit the floor and she carefully lays Inej to the said knowing she'll have to tie her up later.

Next is Jesper and Wylan.

For Jesper, she shoots him with a sleeping dart made out of a massively hard metal to control for fabricators and blinds Wylan before doing the same thing to him as well.

Taking out a bomb from Wylan's bag she sets it off. Running towards Nina and before she can use her heartrender abilities, Y/n headbutts her causing her figure to fall to the floor. Unconscious.

Matthias starts sprinting towards her but she simply grabs his shoulder and hits him on a pressure point on his neck and he's out with the rest of them.

It's funny because he taught her that manoeuvre.

"Kaz!" She yells in a shrill voice beckoning him downstairs, did he really leave his little itty bitty Crows alone? Ah, just like he did to her, what they all did to her.

The Crows and Y/n were on a mission and something went wrong, she was shot and they left her to die. She could have been easily saved but they left her and while they did that she remembers - the thing that she remembers most about that night. Kaz leaned down into her ear and said;

'Thanks for the information little snake.'

They had used her to get information, everything she had with them was fake. Everything with Kaz was fake. Every little touch, every little moment, their entire (established) relationship was fake.

"Come down Kazzy I helped you! Now you help me!" She runs up the stairs knowing that there's only one exit, the window. That was extremely high off the ground he would hopefully try to bargain with her first.

Even if he didn't Y/n had brought some rope because he would definitely break his legs at that height.

But Y/n wasn't a little snake now she was a majestic serpent that wielded the screeches of revenge in her venom.

She runs into the room with the window and there he was there in a chair in the shadows looking smug, but the serpent knew it was all just a facade - fake confidence.

Smiling at him she pulls out a second chair from a broken-down desk and places it right in front of him. 'Bang.' It's a simple sound but it echos throughout the room bouncing off the walls into the depths of madness.

"Oh Kazzy, have you come to help me?" She takes her lip in between her teeth and fake trembles.

"Have you come to save me?" Her voice is tiny and it's nothing like it used to be around him, yet he still flinches. He knows she's putting on an act but it still hurts him. And she wants to hurt him over, and over again.

"Y/n... We needed that information, lots of the Dregs' lives were on the line. There is so much more you wouldn't don't understand."

Laughing into the open she secretly pulls out a syringe from her back pocket readying it in her hand.

Instantly her voice changes from the scarce poor girl's voice to a very dark voice. Vengeance was held there and it was like burning your ears in the pits of hell listening to it. The sins and revenge sounded melodic but the torture that laid underneath was horrific.

"Really Rietveld? Did you think I would forgive so easily?"

Kaz's face morphs into surprise at hearing his real last name, Y/n jumps at the chance and she plunges the syringe deep into his neck.

"See you in hell."

___________________TIME SKIP A COUPLE OF HOURS__

All the Crows are tied up to some chairs in the secret basement of the house. The woman waits for what looks like patiently but really she's boiling with excitement.

This is going to be fun.

Finally, the last Crows wakes up and the Serpent takes out her playthings. Just a couple of knives and guns, but those were just her toys the real weapons are the emotional and mental pain she would cause everyone including herself.

"You know why you are here, don't you?" She walks around the room watching every one of The Crows' snarling faces but perhaps some of them held remorse.

Although Y/n was past their pity now. None of the damage could be undone, what's done is done. An eye for an eye.

"Nina darling, this may hurt a bit." Quicker than Jesper's sharpshooter's eye could catch she stabs Nina in the stomach as she yells out in pain Y/n twists the knife back and forth.

Matthias screams out for his lover and after what feels like an internity the serpent pulls the dagger out knowing that she'll just eventually die from blood loss.

Taking a quick look around the room she notices some of the terrified faces and how everyone is on edge. Good, just how she wants it.

"Mörd demjin," Matthias mutters under his breath and Y/n takes his throat in her hand and holds tight enough to choke him.

"Don't call me by the little nickname you gave Kazzy!" She yells furiously holding onto him tighter and tighter. His face starts to become purple and she can hear the yells and screams of the birdy's in the background.

'No! Let go! Matthias! Matthias! Let him go!'

"Any last words?" She jets out her lip before holding onto him tighter and she sees the fury of the ice in his eyes before there's nothing. His eyes roll back lifeless.

"No Matthias! Matthias!" Nina shrieks trying to desperately get out of her chair.

Rolling her eyes with a huff Y/n pulls out a gun and shoots Nina twice in the head.

"Now you're with your lover." She drawls on the word lover and turns to Inej. She didn't really want to do this but she had to cause him all the pain that she could. Even if Inej tried to stop them.

Swiftly she pulls out the knife Inej gave her and kindly kills her with a hard blow to the heart. She doesn't suffer, she just solely died, it's the only kindness the Serpent can afford to give her.

At this point, Jesper and Wylan are openly sobbing and screaming for their friends and for Y/n to please stop. But she doesn't, with blood all over her clothes she makes her path towards her next fool.

"If you were wondering why you couldn't control the bullets, Jesper." She drawls on in a monotone voice. She can see and hear Wylan screaming and it pains her but she doesn't let it show. She lets the Serpent take over or else this will never get done.

Fully becoming the Serpent Y/n places the barrel of her gun up to his heart and she just shoots, no emotion on her face whatsoever.

"A special venom of mine for Grisha. Had some fun testing it."

Going over to Wylan she quickly slits his throat not wanting the little merchling to suffer more than he already has.

She looks at Kaz blankly, he's shaking and he's beyond trying not to show any emotion. Tears are streaming down his face and he's gasping for air. Trembles roll off his body and the agony on his face pierces her hurt.

"Why?" Rietveld finally manages to rasp out. "WHY!" He screams ultimately reaching his breaking point.

"Because Kaz," She whispers in a sickeningly sweet voice lifting his chin with the tip of her pointer finger.

"Everything comes with a price." She pauses letting it sink in.

"And little did you know the price it would cost you."

And that's the story of Sankta Serpentina and Sankt Dirtyhands.

Words 1634

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover

(if you would like to be added leave a comment!)

[randombubblegum]

the fact that otto is still with grace makes me wonder what kind of person he really is. like he seems quite sweet and kind but tbh without him having social media or knowing him personally, it's kind of hard to know for sure. and i really cannot imagine he can't see past grace's bad behaviour so maybe it just doesn't bother him as much as we would expect? idk its just wild to me that they could be together for the better part of a decade and for otto to still put up with her behaviour if he had an issue with it? truly a mystery

i have done more deep mindbendingly philosophical thinking on this subject than plato and socrates and descartes and kant all put together dude. i cant figure out a way it makes sense. all my theories are only 3/4 formed at best.

my working theory is: hes a loyal and dedicated romantic partner who doesnt feel like he can up and leave, and grace reinforces this with her penchant for manipulation and guilt tripping to get what she wants. and she CANNOT lose the parx connection (in her mind) bc shes built her entire brand and frankly personality on it. so she will do whatever it takes to keep otto dating her and shes repeatedly demonstrated a complete lack of shame self-reflection or remorse so “whatever it takes” could be……. pretty bad. otto also probably doesnt feel like he can leave her bc grace has essentially no family and barely any friends, plus hes already enmeshed her into his immediate family, and i speak from experience when i say how difficult it is to pry a partner out of your family especially if theyre pitiful, ESPECIALLY if your family is really nice.

also, a lot of graces bad behavior is only catalogued online where otto cant see it, so whatever story she wants to feed him (���people are sooo mean to me for no reason!” “people hate our relationship for no reason!” “people are mad at me and i didnt do anything wrong!”) he really has zero way to fact check or even get any context for. he doesnt see the things she says about him online, or the fights she has with specific parx fans where she threatens to make otto hate them for “being mean” to her. LMAO. he only has how she treats him to go off of and if she says that using him like an atm or a trophy or an item is normal then who is he to argue really?

none of us know otto and he doesnt have social media so we have precious little info about who he is as a person….. but like, theres no way all the interviews and all the casual candid vids of him and all the testimonials from ppl who DO know him could just be fake? so what is it with this ONE thing. and maybe he DOESNT tolerate or like her behavior and we just dont see the fights or his misery, its not like shed ever show us. lol. i hope they never get married

[ourflagmeansdeth]

reunion thoughts etc

thinking a lot about the reunion we’re going to get in season 2… i bet there’s a thousand different takes on this and i haven’t read too much (although i have seen some sweet fanart) so if i think up something similar great minds think alike i guess

okay first off… i would personally like to have a parallel between stede returning back to the bonnet estate and him eventually returning back to the revenge. like. maybe stede walks through the door to the captain’s quarters and says “i’m home” all stede-like, or maybe ed is holding a cup of rum or something and stands up and turns around (bonus points if he’s got a shaky hand.)

there are three potential reunion outcomes. at one end of the spectrum, we have a total and complete rejection. ed doesn’t want stede back because he made a fool of his reputation, whatever, etc. i don’t think this will happen for so many obvious reasons.

in the middle, we have an initial rejection, but eventual acceptance and love etc… they’re mad at each other for different reasons and they need to talk it out. maybe stede tries to be a sweetie when they see each other again, but ed’s having absolutely none of it. or maybe the other way around? ed sees stede and any feeling of remorse melts off of him, but stede’s got a stern look on his face because that was my crew and they would’ve fucking died because of you if i hadn’t found them. 

the opposite end of the outcome spectrum is the rom com ending that we all crave deep down. stede’s all, i can’t believe i was so blind to what we have and what it all means to me and ed’s like it’s always been you, i can’t believe you came back and it’s all just lovely

the show doesn’t like to dwell on conflicts for too long. how big of a role will ed and stede’s reunion play in season 2’s drama?? because lets b real both of them are little fucking drama queens in their own respect

speaking of drama queens, don’t even get me started on izzy’s reaction to all of this

god help that man. i love him. we better see some positive growth in him this next season is all i will say

if i were driving the boat so to speak. i personally see stede forgiving ed for abandoning his crew, even if it hurts his feelings for a really long time. but i don’t think ed and stede will see each other for at least a month or two after the season one finale takes place. stede will have had time with his crew to process and talk about it with them. 

i think ed will be the harder one to break, because the last episode showed him in too much pain for him not to be. i think stede has learned and grown a lot since going back home to his family in barbados, but ed’s just kinda been… regressing ever since he got back to the ship. especially since he ditched stede’s crew.

edward is so dramatic post-divorce, but i kinda really relate to that part of his character, hehe. while stede spent time working on forgiving ed when he was away, ed tried his best to move on from stede entirely. 

stede leaving unannounced meant something different to both of them. they’re not connected yet, they don’t know each other to the point where they understand what it meant for the other, at least not initially. but aren’t you excited for when they are able to understand each other like that? to know each other so well that you think with the other person in mind all the time? they’re almost there.

this is only my humble opinion. but this is how i think they’d react to seeing each other post-divorce

i wrote this because i wanted to write a fic but didn’t have any ideas but maybe i have a couple now. maybe you do too? feel free to steal an idea and run far far away with it

[just-vibingfr]

Ok ok I want 23 13, and i forgot the number but it said like I’m sorry I’m such a burden so yea with jj maybank im a sucker for angst

Same! Like mood 25/8 is angst, angst, angst!

WARNINGS: Mentions of rape, suicide, self harm, close friends and family thinking you are a liar, ANGST ANGST ANGST, cursing, reader will be using They/Them pronouns.

A/N: I went really angst in this one, this will be all angst with no fluff, at all, like none. Please do not read if anything mentioned will trigger you. This is going to be one of the last OBX fics for a few weeks, I’m going to finish the other four requests I have then I will be writing some Harry Potter Marauders Era stuff! Thank you all for being so patient! I love you guys ❤️ 💕 Bold will be flashbacks!

ABDUCTED

Prompts- 13:God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. 23:I was kidnapped, I was r@ped! 49: I-I-I’m sorry I’m such a burden

JJ POV:

Thirteen weeks. Thirteen fucking weeks. That’s how long it’s been since they went missing. God, all I can think about is our last conversation.

“I slept with her okay?! I cheated on you and I don’t regret it. At all. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass trying to fix me. Setting me in a path to what, redemption?! Well guess what it’s never gonna fucking happen because I’m a no good, dirty, pogue! My whole family has been doomed to live here, always poor, always a bunch of dead beat losers! I cant be fixed, this is my destiny, so go fuck yourself and you pathetic hopes and dreams and morals! Because none of us liked you anyways, we were only using you to help us grieve after we lost John B. He’s back now, so we don’t fucking need you okay?! I don’t need you! I never have and I never will!”, I ranted. I’m angry at my dad, angry at myself for cheating, angry at Rafe for getting away with everything, angry at Ward for being a bastard, angry at Y/N for making me fall in love with them. I am just so angry. I didn’t mean to take it out on them, but they were there. They’ve always been there even when I treated them like shit. That’s the problem, they were there. I don’t know what to do, I’m so used to pointless hook ups, empty relationships, and abusive behavior, that when someone puts me in a freaking pedestal like I’m actually worth something I flip. I have been looking down for the past five minutes. All I know is their muffled sobs, how their eyes are probably red rimmed and bloodshot, how they’re probably pulling on their wrists like they do when they’re stressed. If I look up I might just crack. “God I wish that you had thought this the before I went and fell in love with you!”, they screamed, letting out all of their emotions. “You said I was different, you said you saw a future together! You told me you fucking loves me! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you get everything you want in the sickest sense! I hope you remember me and feel nothing but pain and guilt! I’m done with you Maybank!”,Those words cut deeper than any blade or bullet could. Being told those venomous words by the person I love most in the world hurts, but I deserve it. I hurt them more than anything, I broke them.

But, now I see truth in their words. Every time I think of them all I can feel is pain, guilt, and remorse. It was all my fault.

Y/N POV

I stumbled through woods. Safety. That’s all I can think. Safety. Safety. I kept stumbling around going anywhere, anywhere as long as it’s away from fucking Jules. That’s what they would call my kidnapper and rapist, Jules. He earned that name because he would take a piece of jewelry off of every virgin he raped. Pathetic. My lower half ached, my mind fuzzy, my wrists scarred. Thirteen weeks, that’s how long I’ve been missing. Thirteen weeks or rape and abuse. Twelve weeks of self harm. I started slitting vanes on my ankles, and the back of my knees, to feel something. Something other than the pain he caused. Self inflicted pain was a way out, a way to still have freedom and independence. Sick and twisted, I know, but it was my way of rebellion. I started to break down crying in the middle of, woods?! It these woods are familiar and I can hear the sound of the ocean. Outer Banks… Outer Banks! Thank God! I’m home. I’m safer, I’m back. I kept stumbling around, my tears making it harder to see. Up ahead I saw what looked like porch lights. “Help! Help!”, I yelled out, although the dryness of my throat mad it extremely difficult.I sped up, basically running to reach a sense of haven. Once I arrived at the house I realized where I was. The Chateau. Anywhere but here. But I needed help, and I was lucky I even found my way here. I knocked on the door, actually I pounded on the door. I was desperate. I heard shuffling and then the door opened revealing a very disheveled Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B, and JJ.

“Y/N?! How-What-! Just- just come in!” Pope said frantically .

“What happened?!”, Kiara and Sarah said in unison. The boys nodding their heads in agreement to the question.

“I-erm- I was kidnapped, I was raped. I was held in a where house with the other girls. This bitch named Jules was the one in charge. He would take turn with the girls. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me once he saw me helping one of the girls with her miscarriage. I had already had three or four myself and a few of the girls actually gave birth in that where house. The youngest to have a baby was eleven. Eleven fucking years old. I just ran out of the door one day, I got shot. It’s been a few days, maybe five or six? All I know is that I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. And I feel really sick right now. I think I’m going to vomit.”, I said before passing out.

I woke up in a hospital bed. The lights burning my eyes. The sheets clean. Someone had bathed me and changed my clothes. I felt clean, it felt good. Everyone scrambled to get up at my sudden consciousness. Looking at me with that pity in their eyes. That pitiful look that made me regret telling them. I didn’t want their fucking pity, I just wanted them to know I have new boundaries, and as my friends they deserved to know. The doctor came rushing in, asking me to explain what happened. I explained everything, the trauma bringing ugly sobs. I didn’t care. I had just been through hell and back, I was allowed to shed some god damn tears.

I was discharged later that day when they had diagnosed me with PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and self harm. Yay. Weeks went by with my friends checking up on me, never leaving my side: I loved them all for it, but I could see the look of boredom in their eyes, the look that said as soon as I was good enough to be on my own they would leave me to my own devices. It hurt, everything did. I didn’t deserve to put them through this, watching me fall apart. I didn’t deserve this. I needed to end the pain. I had to. And I needed to do it now. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, went to the nearest flat surface and began writing.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for supporting me. I didn’t really get to know you before John B and Sarah, I see that I really missed out on some good people. Kie, you have been nothing but amazing to me. I can’t thank you enough. Pope, you are like a workers mix of older brother, younger brother, and dad. It always amazes me how you can be protective as fuck, need protecting, and are always prepared with that mind of yours. JJ, I’m sorry. Sorry that we ended things on such terrible terms. You deserve the world and I couldn’t give that to you, I truly apologize for holding you back. But you did break me that night, I was going to end it then, but I was abducted. Ironic how I’m ending it now. I love you all and wish you the best! “

Love, Y/N ❤️

I folded the letter and set it on the island with the pen. Then I crawled into the tub, slit my wrists, and let the darkness take over, sweet, safe, darkness.

@hannahnikohl